Talk:Total Drama: Lights Camera Action

I think this is an awesome way to tell a story, from a first point of view, other people might have done it but I personally have never seen it. I also like the cast, and the first day, I'm interested to see how this plays out. Good job Jacky! -- Bridgette_dj10 Talk Blogs Contributions Editcount 15:12, February 10, 2013 (UTC)

aw why thank you! :) - Love Jackkks ♥ , Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  22:12, February 10, 2013 (UTC)

wow, i was surprised for Dakota! Really the story, for me, is becaming way better than your old one, even if it was a good one! This is really awesome, i just love the idea. You are making many people LOVE TDA now c: Girls are ok, but one million dollars is WAY BETTER  ,I am TDFANFRENCH and I will won this time!  14:39, February 14, 2013 (UTC)

with what program did you do this two character CJ Jacky

thanks c:

&i use PTS

leave your signature!!!- Love Jackkks ♥ , Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  00:56, February 13, 2013 (UTC)

Pass the link to me?

nigga pass on the link for me to download? please

not till you leave your signature :p - Love Jackkks ♥ , Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  23:33, February 14, 2013 (UTC)

and how to do it? Seriously if I knew but did not know: D

after you post a comment put this sign "~" 4 times, so it creates your signature - Love Jackkks ♥ , Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  01:21, February 15, 2013 (UTC)

ok User:ViiSilca189.78.24.5 20:16, February 15, 2013 (UTC)

Haha very good so far. :) I wish there were more dialogue, it'd make it much more interesting. But I like how it's going! C: Dawww Cj x Jackeyyy <3 NoahRileyM (talk) 04:37, February 16, 2013 (UTC)

I wish Courtney and Jacky woud be in the final 2 cause that woud be awsomeTdwtwinz (talk) 18:12, February 16, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

And I wish Courtney and Jacky woud be friends Tdwtwinz (talk) 20:26, February 16, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

What did you use to creat thos imiges??Tdwtwinz (talk) 08:44, February 17, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

i  used paint tool sai (: - Love Jackkks ♥ , Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  09:27, February 17, 2013 (UTC)

I pass the link to lower the program please I signed ViiSilca 189.78.24.5 12:20, February 17, 2013 (UTC)

ok, im not sure if this is the right one, but i asked a friend to pass me the link so click here - Love Jackkks ♥ , Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  19:03, February 17, 2013 (UTC)

thank you very much User:ViiSilca189.78.24.5 20:32, February 17, 2013 (UTC)

Wow i am amazed on how your show is going! it is twice as much better then the real TDA! i love your art and cant wait to see what else is planed for the future episodes and seasons! c: VashHonestBeautiful (Talk )

thank you very much n.n - Love Jackkks ♥ , <font color="#B08261">Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  08:58, February 25, 2013 (UTC)

I'm keeping up with this. ;3  Lovely pictures and a nice storyline. ;3  Keep up the great work. ;3<font face="Arial">-- Where <span style="color:mintcream; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">have <span style="color:palegreen; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">I been <span style="color:lightgreen; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">all this <span style="color:darkseagreen; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">ti-i-i-ime?  15:37, February 25, 2013 (UTC)

Give Your Prediction
Who do you think is going to win ? leave your signature next to the contestant

-CJ -Courtney -Dawn -Duncan -Gwen -Jacky -Leshawna -Scott -New Player -Eliminated Player
 * 1) TheMacaronikid (talk) 06:05, February 18, 2013 (UTC)
 * 2) <font color="LightSeaGreen"> There's a Tbird on the loose! :)  06:08, February 18, 2013 (UTC)
 * 3) ViiSilca (talk)189.78.24.5 15:02, February 18, 2013 (UTC)
 * 4) <font color="Blue">Girls are ok, but one million dollars is WAY BETTER <font color="LightBlue"> ,I am TDFANFRENCH and I will won this time!  19:27, February 20, 2013 (UTC)
 * 5) <font color="#808000">VashHonestBeautiful (<font color="#808000">Talk ) 01:43, February 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * 1) NoahRileyM (talk) 06:05, February 18, 2013 (UTC)
 * 2) Tdwtwinz (talk) 13:31, February 18, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz
 * 1) ΔTeddyΔ  Leave a message, please!  Goodbye now! 08:59, February 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * 2) <font face="Arial">-- Where <span style="color:mintcream; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">have <span style="color:palegreen; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">I been <span style="color:lightgreen; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">all this <span style="color:darkseagreen; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">ti-i-i-ime?  15:37, February 25, 2013 (UTC)
 * 3) CindyTDITDATDWT (talk) 16:08, February 25, 2013 (UTC)
 * 1) <font color="Teal">Fluffy pancakes being <font color="Orange">my only friend  <font color="Violet">is not scary.  06:05, February 21, 2013 (UTC)

Review
This is pretty good so far, but you've got some major errors.

For example, "Said selfishly Courtney."

First it would be "Selfishly said Courtney."

Also first person view with only one character (who just so happens to be your main character) limits your readers' experience. If you switch to other people's views, you get more drama and it adds volume to your story.

The writing-eh could be better. Your sentence struture is okay, but you are basically just telling what happens in the story. Try to add things like imagery and more emotion to your story.

Instead of this: I was laying in my bed talking to Leshawna and Gwen about how the game works, they were giving me advice to stay away from some people, and then out of nowhere Courtney came barging into the door. “You better stay away from Duncan unless you want to see another day” she said. Gwen ignored her and Courtney left the cabin.

Try this: Leshawna and Gwen were discussing how the game worked with the new contestant Jacky, who was lying on the top bunk of the Girls' Cabin, when Courtney suddenly burst into the room, her emotions ablaze.

"You better stay away from Duncan, unless you never want to see another day!" She screamed, pointing at a bored Gwen.

Gwen repeatedly ignored Courtney, finally causing Courtney to leave in a huff.

See? I've added more fluff and given the paragraph a little more volume. Also when someone is saying something, you've GOT to make it a new paragraph like I did above.

Even though you're art is beautiful and goes with the story well, I still think you need to work on your writing. We don't want the pictures to take away from what's REALLY happening. When I first started looking through your story, I found that I was only looking at the pictures rather than the writing.

Hope this helped and sorry if I was a little rude to you. Keep writing! :) 72.205.229.230 23:23, February 25, 2013 (UTC)