User blog:Nalyd Renrut/Total Drama Losers Preview

Nalyd rode a motorcycle down a long road, surrounded by desert. Bob the Leprechaun sat in the sidecar. “Welcome to Total Drama Losers!” Nalyd said, facing the camera. “This season, twelve losers from Total Drama Paradise, World, and Amazon will compete for another million dollars!”

“Why would we bring back twelve losers?” Bob asked him. “First of all, that’s like ten episodes, this season’ll be done in a week. Second, nobody wants to see losers! Third, why are we in a desert? That doesn’t make any sense!”

“If you think you can do any better, call the producers, see what they have to say about it,” Nalyd said. “And don’t contradict me in front of the audience. Remember what happened when Frank tried to do that?” Bob pulled a cell phone out of his pocket and dialed the producers’ number.

“Where in Sam Hill is Nalyd?” James asked. He, Audrey, Bozo, Elvis, Frasier, Hank, The Hobo, Jess, Martha, Rob, Sally, and Ugly were standing in an airport parking lot, waiting for their host.

“I don’t even know why I’m here,” Frasier said. “I am an all-star! An all-star, I tell you! I am not a loser!”

“I beg to differ,” Jess rolled her eyes.

“Aren’t you two going out?” Audrey asked.

“Not anymore,” Frasier said.

“She likes guys with hair, huh?” Audrey said. “Well, you could always get a wig.”

“Do you think before you speak?” Hank asked Audrey.

Nalyd arrived on his motorcycle, stopping in front of the group. “Hellooo losers!” Nalyd said.

“Ahem,” Frasier said, glaring at Nalyd.

“You’re all losers,” Nalyd said. “Each and every one of you, in your own special, loser-y ways! Audrey, you’re Audrey. That joke kind of tells itself. Bozo cart-wheeled right into her own blindside. Elvis became our first medical evacuee. Frasier is Frasier. Hank got voted off by his only friends. ‘The Hobo’ is homeless, and got voted off fourth of his season. Jess… Actually, you’re not much of a loser, but we brought you back to bug Frasier. Martha, second off of your season, and you only joined to meet a cute guy. That’s tough ‘cause none of these guys are cute.”

“I beg to differ,” Bozo said, smiling and looking at Bob the Leprechaun.

“You know he’s not a real leprechaun right?” Jess said to Bozo. “Just a very small Irishman.”

“Moving on,” Nalyd said. “Rob, again, not a real loser, but you did come in third. You almost won but failed. Sally was the first voted off in Total Drama World. ‘Ugly,’ I gotta talk to you. The producers say that you gotta wear this paper bag on your face all season.” He carefully placed the bag over Ugly’s head. “A perfect fit,” he smiled.