User blog comment:Goldenshane/Fiji Preview!/@comment-1874924-20110704054747

Curious scene. Anyway, here’s a tech tip:

When using a descriptive phrase in place of a character’s name (e.g. “the Lively Girl” or “the Observant Girl”), it’s usually better not to capitalize these phrases (i.e. it should be “the lively girl”) because they are generic descriptions in most cases. Exceptions would if you are using a phrase as an actual title, whether seriously or with tongue in cheek. Some examples from my own works: Izzy is “the demented redhead” (not capitalized, because it’s a generic description) but is “Weird Red” (capitalized, because it’s a mock name). Likewise, Heather is “the queen bee” or “the dragon girl” (descriptions, and therefore not capitalized), but is “the Dark Queen” or “the Dragon Queen” (mock titles, and therefore capitalized).

Another thing you could do is create mock names/titles based on the characters’ archetypes. (This works best in scenes where the mood is relatively light.) For example, “the lively girl” could become something like, “Lady Lively” or “Ms. Energy”, and “the observant girl” could become something like, “She Whom No Detail Escapes”. This will provide more variety for situations where you don’t want to use a character’s actual name.