User blog:Nalyd Renrut/Beauty Fades, Dumb is Forever - Survivor Nicaragua Review

Reader discretion is advised. The following blog comes from the mind of a teenage boy.

So, Survivor Nicaragua has come to a close, and its time to review what has been called the worst season of Survivor ever. As I've only seen five seasons, its hard for me to agree or disagree with it. The Medallion of Power and dividing the tribes by age was a major fail, but I think the season was able to recover from that. We had some likable people, a whole lot of unlikable people, and a whole lot of quitters. Before I review the 20 contestants, I'll point out some notable parts from the finale:


 * First of all, I loved that when Dan said "Beauty fades, dumb is forever" at the final tribal council, Purple Kelly was the next to ask questions. That just warmed my little heart.
 * The frat boy final three we all feared came true. Chase and Sash obviously wouldn't win, and I'm glad Fabio/Jud the Stud won. Chase is a big baby and should have voted himself off, and Sash is a skinny, pretty boy version of Russel.
 * Alina needs to shut up. On her Ponderosa video, she said she'd vote for Chase or Fabio, but when she got to Tribal Council she was all over Chase. It was difficult to watch. After watching her sit back down with the other jury members, my mom said "She just wants to sleep with him."
 * The "Dumber than a sack of hammers award" goes to whoever let NaOnka and Purple Kelly on the jury.
 * Jeff saying "Thank you for staying loyal" at the start of the reunion was "Thanks for putting up with this cast."
 * Jeff said something about how a young vs. old season having an all young final three said a lot. No it didn't. Anybody could have told you that would happen. If you want another old winner, do a whole season of 40 and older. (I'd love that!)
 * Worst reunion ever. Just boring.

I'm not gonna comment on everyone, just the notable people.


 * Shannon - Was it just me, or did it seem like he was actually trying to apologize at the end? For those who don't remember, Shannon accused Sash of being homosexual, and said that New York was filled with homosexuals. Shannon stood by his comments. "I called a duck a duck." Then Jeff tried to cut him off, and he said, "But I did meet his girlfriend." I think he was trying to sort of apologize at the end and Jeff stopped him so he'd be remembered as a jerk. He is a jerk, and he'll be remembered for that (if he even is remembered).
 * Jimmy Johnson (The Jimmy Johnson!) - WE GET IT, SURVIVOR. YOU HAD A CELEBRITY. I honestly hope we never have a celebrity on Survivor again. And if we do, can they be somebody other than this guy? He was the third voted out, and had so much screen time it isn't even funny. It was ridiculous to waste time on the reunion with him and his friend talking about the game. The only thing Jimmy did was throw up and tell Holly not to quit.
 * Marty - One of my favorite players this season. He's one of my favorite villains ever. He isn't overly confident like Sash, Russel, or Brenda, but he still can take control. I was disappointed to see him go, and I'd love to see him back. He was great at the finale. I loved every scene of him and Fabio, it reminded me of Owen and Noah in TDWT, my favorite friendship.
 * NaOnka - I agree with NaOnka, what happens in the game should not be associated with their real lives. I think NaOnka will be remembered as the crazy bully who quit Survivor. I like that she called Fabio her hippie friend. When did they become friends? (I ship FabioXNaOnka.)
 * Purple Kelly - "I have nothing left to suck."
 * Jane - I'm so glad she won the fan favorite vote, and I'll always wish she won. I noticed a lot of reviews say Fabio was the best possible winner left, implying somebody not in the final five should have won. I think it's Jane.
 * Dan - I've been a fan of Dan all season. If you watch deleted scenes with Dan, you'll see why he's so likable. I loved when he exploded after he got voted off. All the final five's I've seen have had a person who didn't get a lot of screen time but was really liked (Matty, Brett, Colby) so I don't get why Survivor always brushes somebody off.
 * Holly - I don't know why, but I loved Holly all season. Even when she was boring, I was secretly rooting for this Sarah Palin sound-alike. Maybe it's cause she reminds me of my mom. Maybe its because she was practically the only real person this season. All the young people were either really angry or always like "dude!" and none of the old people did well except Holly and Jane.
 * Sash - Did you honestly think you could win? The only difference between you and Chase is that Chase cried a lot.
 * Fabio - Fabio won, yay.
 * Jeff - He really deserved the million dollars after dealing with these nutjobs.

Here's to Survivor Nicaragua, maybe not the worst season, maybe not the most forgettable, but it was definitely weird. Let's hope 22 is at least a tiny bit better.