User blog:Thebiggesttdifan/Top 5 Worst Republican Politicians

'''DISCLAIMER: I am not a politician, I am not in any way well-studied in politics, I'm sorry if this like offends you or whatever if some of these people are your chillest politician friends, that's cool, but I watched The Daily Show once and they were probably featured on there and that's why they're on this list, or close to it, for the record. I mean Nancy Pelosi was featured on there too as a pretty douchey lady, so I hope that works for you with this I guess, if you're on the right'''

So there are a bunch of absolutely terrible Republican politicians. But what if you could only pick 5 of them?

5 - Iowa senator Joni Ernst - the woman who got to do the State of the Union rebuttal this year and there's always just an air of smugness about the State of the Union rebuttal. Sure, I don't really watch either one but it's just like, why would you even need a rebuttal system. Is it always a thing? I hope it didn't happen during the Bush years. Oh okay it's actually a respected tradition going back to 1966. That's okay I guess, then. But anyway Joni Ernst is the woman who got famous for only ever talking about her f***ing childhood and that's a really annoying thing about recent politicians, like, sure, it's great that you grew up like a "normal" American hu-man or whatever, but the truth is you're not now so stop blatantly pandering to the common people. And Joni Ernst is like the most high-profile example of that. Plus she shares a name with my mom and is nowhere near as cool as her. So yeah get out

4 - Mitt Romney - Oh my god why do you even want to be President so bad. It's not that great. Your entire head like becomes grey over the course of 8 painful years. You're already rich and successful, why even run again

3 - Michele Bachmann - This should really not need an explanation, honestly. So I'm not going to write one.

2 - Ted Cruz - just an asshole entirely

1 - Michael Grimm - aka Literal Criminal and also ruining the name of a pretty generic but okay America's Got Talent winner who snubbed a 10-year-old opera singer

Notable absences:


 * former Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal - sucks as a politician but he's INDIAN, like, East Indian, Indian-American, which I find so weird honestly and I probably shouldn't but it's just kind of Tommy Wiseau-level hilarity that some huge jackass who we consider like the super-American politician came from India
 * Christine O'Donnell - she may not be a witch but like come on
 * Mitch McConnell - pretty meh-to-:/ dude overall but idk he doesn't look that bad
 * John Boehner - I hate this guy but eh
 * Dick Cheney - His daughter's gay and he fully, totally supports her and the right for gay people to get married, so that's cool. even though the rest of the time he sucks
 * John McCain - he spoke out against torture a little while back which is coolish
 * Mississippi senator Roger Wicker - guy who doesn't believe the Earth is even getting warmer, whether it's natural or artificial. Just own up man
 * Sarah Palin - There's a lot of terrible Republican politicians
 * Patrick McHenry - this guy's name is a DIRECT sendup of the guy who said "Give me liberty or give me death" and also thought the Constitution was a sham. Why'd you even give your kid this name, parents, like, come on, nobody's going to live up to Patrick Henry status, that's like Albert Brooks, his original name was Albert Einstein, like come on, oh sheesh I just realized there's going to be like a bunch of black kids growing up named Barack probably. Barack McObama. Mitch McMcConnell
 * Chris Christie - get out