Talk:Everlasting Happiness

A unique premise, to say the least, but you ought to put in a brief introduction at the top so people know what to expect. I'm looking forward to some of the villain chapters, to see how they came to be redeemed. (Okay, we know how they were redeemed--by accepting Jesus--but what leads them to that? For example, what leads Max to stop trying to be evil?)

The chapters have been interesting so far, but the potential pitfall I see is that if you're going to write chapters for all 50+ TD contestants (as you indicated on ff.net that you will) it may be difficult to stop them becoming repetitive. You had some good personalized variations, such as describing Jesus as Rodney's "heavenly Pa", and that sort of thing will help to keep the later chapters interesting, since there are only so many ways people can be welcomed into Heaven and escorted around the City of Light.

Your mechanics are decent for the most part, but there are some spelling errors, mainly of the type that spell checkers won't catch (most notably, "saved a wrench like me" when it should be "saved a wretch like me"--we're not talking about auto mechanics here) and you occasionally have words missing, which I assume are strictly typos. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O!  Sing me your song, O!  A wandering minstrel, I--  03:55, September 16, 2014 (UTC)