User blog comment:TDIwriter/Idea and Contest/@comment-1956487-20120110224400

My beloved Diamond's audition, which I've finally written. XD

Everything is in black and white, and two girls are shown sitting in what looks like the front of a school, with one other girl standing closely behind them. “My name’s Diamond”, says the oddly-dressed girl on the right, “and these are my two besties, Cylinder and Thursday. Say hi to the cameras, guys.”

A girl with choppy bangs, large nerd glasses, and multiple piercings says, “Hi to the camera, guys.” The pretty blonde who had been standing behind the two glares at the two odd girls and says, “My name isn’t Cylinder. It’s Miranda. And we’re not friends. You asked me to come over here and suddenly started recording with that stupid camera of yours. I’m leaving now.” Miranda quickly walks away.

“Her shirt was from Abdominal and Flinch. Totes mainstream…” says Diamond, shaking her head. She takes out a small piece of paper from her pocket, writes -25 next to Miranda’s name, and places it back in her pocket. “Anywaysies, I’m the perfect contestant for your Total Drama whatever show. I’d be the most interesting chick to ever be on the show. All the other kids who make it onto the show are either grossly awkward geeks or brainless conformists who bring nothing of substance to the program,” explains Diamond. As she talks, Thursday can be seen getting into a headstand position. “I predict that my inclusion on the show will make it at least 70% less lame, and the ratings will skyrocket in like, 2 seconds,” she continues.

Diamond adjusts her scarf to look more asymmetrical before saying, “You’re probably wondering why this audition is in black and white. Well, I think society focuses way too much on shallow things like color, or models, or kiddie pools. Black and white makes a simple, yet boldly unconventional statement for a reality show audition. And that’s def what I’m all about.” Diamond suddenly turns around and notices that Thursday is standing upside down on her head. “Uh, what are you doing?” she inquires.

“I totally read this thing on this really lowkey blog that said letting the blood rush to your head was the best new way of expressing oneself abstractly. I’m pretty sure it’s working.” She looks extremely lightheaded.

Diamond chuckles nervously. “Oh, duh. I’ve totally been doing that for like, three weeks now. I’ll join you in a sec.” She turns her attention back to the camera. “So, pick me for your show. Byesies!” As she shuts off the camera, she starts to say, “Thursday, you’re sooo doing it wrong. Your legs don’t look nearly abstract enough…”