User blog:HerrMana/Reality Realized Round 1 - Results

First of all, I'd like to thank you all and congratulate you for competing in Reality Realized, even the ones who didn't submit before the deadline, I know deep down you will Never Gonna Give (Me) Up.

So, let's go to the scores, shall we?

But First... Mana has Something to Explain!
Let me explain how my rankings will work:

My ranking does not impact the grade of your story, and exists only so you know your reader's opinions on your characters, so you can see who is popular, who is seen as boring, etcetera, and, IF YOU WANT TO, do something to alter it.

It is separated in 7 keys: Light Blue - I loved this character, probably because their plot is ingenious, they are hilarious, or because I identify with them. Green - I really like this character, they are probably entertaining and/or have an interesting plot. Light Green - This character is good, but I'd like to see more of them. Blue - I have very mixed opinions on this character. Yellow - Uninspiring or had no focus in the episode, maybe I would like them better if they had more focus. Orange - I dislike this character, probably because I dislike him as a "human being". Red - I strongly dislike this character most likely because they are POORLY WRITTEN or EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE.

If you want me to explain the placing of any of your characters, feel free to tell me!

Total Drama Conquest
Development and Originality: 9 Many relationships were set and a small depth of some characters have already surfaced to keep us interested in what's to come, without revealing too much. Considering that's the first chapter, that is all I can base my judgement on so far, and you're spot on! The show's concept of being in an island is not that that original, but that's not my focus. The characters are not really the most interesting bunch, many overused stereotypes (which can be subverted later on so I'm not THAT bothered by it). Characters who have called my attention as a breath of fresh air are Kaiser and Silas, which doesn't mean I didn't like other less creative ones. In fact, my favorite of the bunch is a very recurrent archetype, though executed really well.

Focus: 9 I expect introduction chapters to have a somewhat even distribution of screentime, leaving the less prominent personalities in the background and letting the more over-the-top ones to shine, especially to attract readers. I think you managed to do this well, but maybe Brooke was a little bit too much. Hoping to see her toned down a little bit later on, as intriguing as she seems. Other characters such as June also seemed intriguing but didn't have much screentime, so I'm looking forward to seeing more of them ^^

PS: Thanks Sunny for teaching me "hella" is AAVE, as a person who doesn't have English as a first language that was very important for me especially so I don't appropriate it anymore.

Dialogue: 10 Looks great! First of all, Chris and Chef are very in-character and I was able to read their lines in their voices, which is a pretty hard thing to do in fics so major props for that. The characters, who all have interesting and distinguishable personalities, talk in ways that definitely fit their personalities (for example, Aaron/Ethan’s use of weird douchey slang, and… just Tobi in general). There were definitely funny moments too, like everything that Tobi and Brooke said. Overall, you’ve done a great job at creating distinctive speaking patterns for the characters and fun and unique interactions.

Formal Aspect: 9,8 The grammar looks pretty great, and you’ve done a good job at using really varied language (and not just “said” over and over, which I’m really relieved to see). A couple tiny typos like a missing end quotation mark in one of Aaron’s lines, but really nothing that’s a big deal at all.

Overall: 9,45