Talk:Hope

This was really good! You know, what's with all these Heather-humanized fics? Not that I'm complaining, or anything. Anyway, I think the only thing that I'd change in the "it was obvious she will die soon." or something like that. My advice, never use the word obvious for description. Maybe change it to something like, "She wasn't sure just how much longer she would cheat death." Or maybe, "At the thought of her grandmother dying, tears came to her eyes. She wasn't sure where they could go, or where they could stay, and that plagued her with fear" Show, don't tell. I know, I know, I sort of just contradicted myself, but I digress.

Anyway, this is an awesome story, and I recommend it! If you're going to lie to an all-knowing admin,  you should at least put some effort in it.  00:04, October 23, 2011 (UTC)