User blog:Fadingsilverstar16/Violet Hill Review

Okay, I know I'm not going in order, but I really wanted to review this one first. I've never reviewed anything before, so be kind with me. xD

Now, on to Violet Hill!

First of all, I just want to say that Bridgette and Geoff, in my opinion, were fantastic pics for the main characters simply because they're such nice people. I mean, when you think of that couple (especially Geoff) you don't really imagine them having lots of angst and pain in their relationship, so having Bridgette, who is considered a saint by many, die in pain and suffering is heart-wrenching all on its own. In this case, however, TDIRM puts an extra heaping of sadness on it by having the story told from Geoff's point of view.

Now, I must admit that the wording and sentence placement could have been a bit better. Example:

This,

"As I watched the casket being lowered into the pit they had dug, I finally started to cry. The warm rivulets of saline liquid ran down my face, off my chin, and onto the ground, making pockmarks in the snow. Everybody left after that. Instead I just stared at her tombstone. Why would she have a black casket? She had always never liked the color black at all. I started whispering lyrics I heard once...."

could've been this,

"As I watched the casket (Why would she have a black casket? She never liked black at all...) being lowered into the pit they had dug, I finally started to cry...."

Okay, so you can go actually go ahead and disregard the actual example, since I'm using parentheses and not many people really use parentheses, but you get what I mean, right? The sentences about the black casket and Bridgette not liking black at all seemed a little out of place to me. Directly before it, it was mentioned that Geoff was staring at her tombstone, not the coffin, as it had already been lowered into the ground, so it seemed like you kind of just jumped from one thing to another. There are a few more instances of this in the story, which is why I pointed it out. I really hope you guys are catching my drift, because I'm really bad at explaining stuff. Also, there's room for a little more description and use of transitions so the sentence flow is a bit smoother.

Other than that and a few punctuation errors, the story itself is very well written. I can't speak for anyone else, but Duncan being all insensitive about it really seems to fit. Let me explain, Duncan doesn't seem to be the type of guy to openly express genuine pain. He seems like a guy who would try to hide it/escape from it by trying to convince himself and others that its really nothing rather than dealing with it. Courtney, however, was a total wreck, and this also fits well considering her personality. In my opinion, Geoff seemed sort of numb throughout the entire thing, which, again, is appropriate for the situation. He really seems devastated that Bridgette never told him "I love you", and asks if she was giving him up and if she no longer cared for her, which, of course, is completely untrue as demonstrated at the very end of the story. Seriously, that last line is what really sells the entire thing. Because Bridgette left her last words to Geoff in writing, he can read them any time he likes and maybe, just maybe, that will give him a little comfort as he goes through this hard time.

IN CONCLUSION to this long and crappy review, I give Violet Hill an 8.5/10. There is room for improvement, but overall, it was a very good and there's no doubt that TDIRM certainly has a lot of promise. Great job and keep it up!