User blog:Jkl9817/Jkl's satiric blog post number 5: Behind the Scenes - A Total Drama Fanfic Wiki Debate

So, I took a little long to post this. The reason is, there were like eight so many requests I couldn't decide which to do, but now I came up with this idea that can put 'em all together. This will basically be a "Behind the Scenes"-esque debate involving the users who made requests.

Note: As to the person who made that secret request, don't worry, I'll get to it.

A Total Drama Fanfic Wiki Debate
"So, guys, I think we should start the debate," Reddy says, standing on a stool, while the other users are walking around and arguing over who should be the next one parodied. No one pays attention to him at first. Then he yells, "SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME TALK!"

"No offense, but that's misfeasance," MS states, in an attempt to start a fight.

"Um... no," Reddy says. "Go away, you didn't even ask to be parodied in first place." MS walks off, complaining. "Now," continues Reddy, "since Sprink has already been parodied, I'm in charge and I-"

"Wait a minute," Jess says. "You're like twelve-"

"Thirteen," Reddy corrects her.

"-and I'm 21. Do you really think I'll follow your instructions?"

"I'm an admin, so yeah," Reddy says. "The point is-"

"I also think that's misfeasance," Fan states.

"Shut up, you're like nine," says Reddy.

"YOU'LL NEVER KNOW MY AGE! BWAHAHAHAHA!" Jkl says.

Reddy goes on, "So, raise your hand if you asked to be parodied." Toad, Shane, Nicole, Teddy74 (who is so called due to having no particular nickname), Fan, Jess, Shamsey and Rhonda raise their hands.

"Nice try," Reddy tells Shamsey, before kicking Shamsey to Wikitanamo and increasing QOS's ban lenght to infinite. "Don't," he then tells Dra before he can say a joke about The Map.

Dra walks off, muttering "I don't know why I thought I could create a meme..."

"Anyway," Reddy moves on after glaring at Dra one last time, "there are eight candidates, and Jkl can only parody one person." He is wrong. "Who should they be?"

"Me," everyone else says in unison, except for Shane, who says, "I'm okay with anyone being parodied," and smiling kindly, though deep down he hates everyone's stories and secretly plans to ban everybody and dethrone Sprink.

"First of all, I think we should know who to put away," Reddy points out.

Everybody points at Teddy74. "Really?" he says. "My story has twelve comments."

"It actually has five, but you took seven edits to create the guessing contests," Fan points out. "I'm just saying. Wait, did I say something I couldn't say? It's all my fault! I-"

"It's not your fault," the other users say quickly. Once Fan is reassured, they sigh in relief.

"Oh, c'mon, I'm still a good writer," Teddy74 says.

"Yeah, as long as the story has six default features," Jkl jokes. Some people laugh.

Reddy tells Jkl, "Get out of here. We don't have time for your satire."

"What's the topic of this discussion, again?" Jkl asks.

"Just get out of here! I'm in charge!" Reddy complains. "Does anyone else support Teddy74 being discarded?"

"Yeah, he gives full names to his characters," Toad says.

"He writes in script format," Jessica says.

"He's got a Final Five guessing contest," Nicole says.

"I thought we were friends!" Teddy74 says.

"Sorry, but, I mean, a Final Five guessing contest? Besides, you never signed my friends list." Nicole shrugs.

"That's not fair!" complains Teddy74 while being pulled away by Kenny with no ceremony—or joke, for no one really knows a thing about him.

"So, one's gone," Reddy says. "Any opinions? Whaddaya say, Rhonda?"

"Aw, all the people here are good writers..." Rhonda says. "BUT I'M BETTER!" she suddenly yells, and then apologizes, "Oops, it slipped off."

"That's fine, Rhonda, you're really great," Reddy says, causing MrD to whisper a pervy joke about Reddy and Rhonda to SG, who finds it funny but glares at MrD to appear mature.

"Well, you should be the second one put away," Toad suggests. "I mean, you don't write."

"Says the guy whose first story had two comments," Reddy retorts.

"At least I have a first story," Toad defends himself.

"I had one, but it didn't work out," Reddy states. "And-"

"And you don't know a F*ING thing about Australia!" some Australian user says.

"I had to study the whole Wikipedia page to write it!" Reddy says.

"Go read a book," Gideon says in a cameo.

"Besides, everyone knows Oshawott would win," Jessica says.

"Was it that obvious?" Reddy asks.

"Of course it was," Shane says. "I mean, if you do the math-"

"Stop being so nerdy," Reddy complains.

"Okay," Shane says, and goes to sit on the corner of rejection.

"Now, seriously, who should be put away?" Reddy asks.

"You," everyone else says in unison.

"C'mon, guys, you liked the first chapter."

"But it was deleted! How can someone write a satire on a deleted story?" Jess says.

"I'm writing Total Drama Red," Reddy reminds her.

"And what is Jkl gonna mock at? Uinua's name?" Jessica teases him.

"I give up," Reddy finally says. "It's unbearable to be with you guys." He walks off, grumbling.

"Who's playing Gideon now?" Jkl yells to him, referring to an offscreen discussion they had.

"So I guess I'm in charge now," Jessica says.

"No," Shane says, with a dramatic background music from some videogame. "I am."

"Okay, Mr. Admin Pants," Jess says. "Go ahead."

"Let's do the following: Each person votes for a story other than their own. Then we'll see which one deserves it the most. This way, everyone can-"

"Stop trying to make everyone happy," MS says.

"I thought Reddy had told you to go away," Shane says. "Anyway, this way everyone can be satisfied and there won't be strategic voting. Fan, you go first."

"Why me?" asks Fan. "I mean, do I deserve all this attention?"

"Oh, that won't work," Jessica says. "I think it should be my story because the users themselves are in it and it would provide a lot of material for a parody."

"You labeled yourself 'The Wealthy Princess'," Toad points out.

"Well, now that you've put it that way, I-" Jessica thinks for a while and admits, "Okay, I've run out of arguments."

"Alright. Would anyone else like to speak?" Shane asks.

"He should parody mine," Rhonda says. "I mean, who doesn't love my story?"

"Well, you've got a point," Shane says. "But what's there to parody?"

"I don't know," Rhonda says. "The way everyone loves my story?"

Then Rhonda is trampled by a crowd of TDWTH? fanboys, led by Reddy, who uses the opportunity to blow a raspberry to Jessica.

"I'm starting to change my thoughts on meta-humor," Rhonda moans before passing out.

"And then there were four," Fan says.

"Seriously?" Toad asks.

"Sorry, I never know what to say in these occasions," Fan defends herself.

"Fan's a SHE?" Rhonda moans, breaking the fourth wall and passing out again because a brick from the fourth wall fell onto her head.

"Well, Fan, no one really reads your stories," Nicole points out.

"Jkl said he would," Fan says.

"I don't, to be honest," Jkl says from outside the Debate area.

"Oh, that's fine," Fan says. "It's not even that good. I mean, had anyone here ever heard of me before this debate?" Cricket sounds can be heard.

"You made an art blog, didn't you?" someone yells from the crowd.

"No. My best free-drawn character looks like a marijuana leaf," Fan says.

"Hey, that's my quote!" SG complains. "Sorta."

"How do you know the way marijuana leaves look like?" Toad jokes, laughing out loud.

"I saw some by your userpage," Fan says, innocently.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT!" Toad states.

"So, Fan, are you okay with that?" Shane asks. "I mean-"

"Sure, why not..." Fan says, indifferently. She then walks off, deflecting from PG-13 stories.

"So, Nico..." Toad says.

"My name is Nicole," says Nicole.

"So, Nicole, I guess you should leave now," says Toad.

"Why me?" asks Nicole.

"Honestly, you contributed to the proliferation of nearly-unrelated stories in this wiki," says Shane.

"And you're from Cavi's crowd," Toad points out.

"No, I'm not!" Nicole says. "That much..." Shane and Toad glare at her and she continues, "C'mon, Toad, you submitted characters for my story."

"That's the treshold to appear nice towards the community," Toad explains. "And those weren't even my best characters." Nicole gasps and a suspense tune sounds.

"Oh, come on!" Nicole complains.

"What do you want me to do?" Toad asks. "I mean, what was the last time you even updated your story?"

"I-" utters Nicole before her voice disappears.

"And your story lacks punctuation," says Shane. "But- but you're getting better." Some users boo at the latter line.

"And I don't respect users who create Wikias for their stories," says Toad. Fifty percent of the audience throws tomatoes at him.

"Really?" says Nicole. "That's unfair!"

"Stop watching Disney Channel and we might talk," Toad says.

"Have a good day!" Nicole says curtly before walking off.

Shane and Toad are the only ones left.

"So, what's really the point of this whole thing?" Toad asks.

"I don't know," Shane says. "I actually don't see why Jkl can't just write each story at a time."

"Yeah, right?"

"I think this whole discussion was kinda pointless."

"Agreed," Rhonda moans, still lying on the ground.

"Why am I even here? I should be in college or something," Jessica says before going to college or something.

"So..." says Shane. "Do you wanna go to my place? My mother makes some great ravioli."

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" says Sunshine.

"It depends," says Toad. "Will we have to go to the church?"

"I think we won't," says Shane.

"Do you have Zelda?" Toad asks.

"Duh," Shane says.

"Then I'm in," Toad finally agrees.

"I hate how we were not even mentioned in this thing," Webly comments to Brandon and Layla.

"Right?" says Nalyd.

As Shane and Toad walk away, Shane starts, "So... that marijuana thing..."

"Don't touch that subject."

'''Apology note: Please understand I don't mean to offend anyone. This is purely satiric. You guys are all very nice. Shane, I'm sorry I didn't directly satirize Fiji, but I felt like this would come out better. Thank you all for reading and wait for more. The next post will be sort of a "quick laugh"...'''