Total Drama Island...?

Mmkay, so this is a Fanfiction by me, for you! Kevin replaces (thinks of a random boy in the series) Noah, and it starts... err... now? Kevin's  a little bored   at the moment.  02:29, May 13, 2010 (UTC)

The Not So Happy Campers
The camera pans across the island of Camp Wawanakawa, then shows TV host, Chris McLean, standing on an extremely unstable dock.

"Yo, what's up? It's Chris McLean! And I'm here to host the hottest thing on TV since That 80's Show!" The scene then cuts to Chris in between two cabins. "Here, 22 totally different campers will compete in challenges and vote each other off in order to win one hundred thousand big ones!" The scene cuts back to Chris standing on the creaky dock. "So, don't touch that dial, and tune in to Total. Drama. Island!"

(theme song)

Chris impatiently looked at his watch. "It's an hour after arrival, where are those twer--" (notices the camera) "Twenty-two campers...!"

Chris was relieved to finally see a boat pull up to the dock. A boy with an entirely red sweatsuit tripped off of the boat. Chris put on a fake smile. "Tyler, what's up?" "Great to be he--" Before he could finish, Tyler tripped on one of the dock's many loose planks, falling face-first.

Before Chris could even pretend to be concerned, another camper arrived. This one was a girl, who was fairly tall, and carried a red and orange surfboard. Chris looked at his clipboard. "Eva?" The girl chuckled and stated, "No, I'm Bridgette." Chris angrily shuffled through his papers and mumbled, "Lazy boat-driving people... never on schedule!"

Another boy, who was creepily overweight, stepped off of the boat. "How're ya doin', guys!?" He bear-hugged Chris. "Great to be here, dude!" Chris tried his hardest not to smack him in the face. "That's great... Owen..." Owen then let him go, and stood next to Bridgette and Tyler, who were already chatting away on the opposite side of the dock.

Two boats pulled up at the same time, and they were apparently racing. Two boys stepped off of the boats, one with oddly-dyed green hair, and the other with auburn hair. "You obviously somehow adjusted your engine, since the boat's terminal velocity was only 75 meters per second, while yours went 85 meters per second," the auburn-haired one argued while punching numbers in his calculator. The boy with green hair simply rolled his eyes, grabbed the other boy's calculator, and tossed it into the lake. Chris intervened. "Duncan, Harold, great to meet you guys..."

Another boat arrived, and two girls dressed identically were dropped off. "Oh my gosh, Sadie! This is just like Camp Hole in the Wall," the skinnier one reminisced. Sadie nodded intently. "This brings back soooo many memories, Katie!" "You introduced yourselves, way to do my job for me," Chris remarked. The friends simply stated in unison, "No problem."

Chris took a head count. "Only eight campers?" (he notices a cue card behind the camera) "Erm, seven? By now we should be at ten!" Right then, another boat approached the dock. A girl with lightly-tinted sunglasses delicately stepped off and examined the camp. "We're staying here? Are you serious?" She stomped toward Chris and pouted. "You didn't see the picture in the brochure, Heather?" Chris questioned. Heather snorted and walked toward the other campers. "I'm too popular to be caught reading."

Almost immediately, a boat honked its horn, and left a boy who was slightly tall, with curly hair and headphones. He clumsily walked off the boat and shook hands with Chris. "'Sup?" The boy waved to the other campers and got no response. Chris scoffed and said, "Oh, right, you're the normal one on this show. I won't even say your name for you." The boy was taken aback, and just said, "Uh, okay? I'm Kevin, since I won't get an introduction."

Before Kevin could get to the crowd of campers, a boat reached the dock. A slightly overweight girl struted her way down to the dock. "Wassup y'all? It's Shawnie!" She carried her leopard-patterned luggage and high-fived Chris. Chris grinned. "LeShawna, loud and proud!" She walked over to the rest of the contestants and played around with her phone. Chris, noticing this, began to chuckle, confusing everyone.

Another boat arrived, and a fairly short girl with pink pants stumbled onto the dock. Chris scratched the back of his head. "Wow, Beth, I didn't know you were that sho--" Her glare stopped him. "...vertically challenged." Beth got over her anger at Chris and approached the campers. "Hey guys..." (a boat horn honks, muting out everything she says) "...and I hope you can accept me for who I am." Beth smiled and stood next to Owen.

Another boat drew near to the dock, and in the distance, a girl with blonde hair and a blue bandanna was seen waving to the cast. Chris waved back. "Lindsay! What's up?" Lindsay shrugged. "The usual -- blue sky." After holding back a snicker, Chris gestured Lindsay towards the crowd of campers. Lindsay skipped over to LeShawna, Beth, and Heather and began to comb her hair.

Once Lindsay was settled in, the campers began to pour in at the same time. A boy and a girl arrived in the same boat. Chris was confused. "What happened to separate boats?" The girl in the blue jumpsuit bared her teeth. "My boat crashed, so I swam 15 miles until I found another one." She darted her eyes towards the boy, who looked worried. The boy ran his fingers through his dark brown hair. "She's a little rough, but I guess she's dateable." After flipping through the papers in his clipboard, Chris concluded that these two were Eva and Cody.

Before Chris could wonder about the remaining 8 contestants, a girl crawled out from underneath the dock wearing an outfit entirely made of dried seaweed. The girl ran up and shook Chris's hand. "Hey, Chris! Is this a summer camp? I love summer camps! I once went to a summer camp where everyone was always jumping around and stuff and then we all ate marshmallows around a campfire and then one of the counselors went psycho and like, buried two campers alive, but I wasn't one of them so it's okay!" Everyone's eyes widened and they all slowly shuffled backwards. Chris asked, "Erm... are you Izzy?" Izzy replied, "How do you know my name? Are you onto me too?" Her eyes darted around and she hid behind Owen.

Chris rolled his eyes to notice another camper, with an over-sized backpack and guitar. The camper looked concerned and said, "Erm, Chris, is there a reason why there's duct tape under the dock?" Chris put his finger to his lips. "Hush, Trent, just stand over there." That didn't stop the other campers from murmuring and peering from underneath the rickety dock.

Another girl arrived, wearing green pants and a gray shirt. She waved to the rest of the competitors. "Nice to meet you all. I'm Cour--" Chris snapped, "That's my job. This is Courtney." He winked. Slightly annoyed, Courtney stepped into the crowd. The campers began to hear slight creaking. Duncan complained, "Dude, this thing's about to bust."

In the distance, loud music was heard from an oncoming boat. There were four boys dancing on it, all of them completely offbeat, with one of them raising the volume on their iPhone. Chris raised an eyebrow. "What happened to the other three boats?" A boy in a pink shirt pointed backwards. "The drivers are partying, dude!" Chris exhaled slowly and recited the boys' names. "You four must be... Ezekiel, Justin, DJ, and Gee-off?" "Geoff," the boy in the pink shirt stated while putting his hand up for a high-five. Chris put his hand down and counted the campers.

"21... who're we missing?" The final boat arrived, and it dropped off a girl with teal highlights in her jet black hair. She glanced at the campsite, then at the campers, then at Chris, and rolled her eyes. Chris crossed his arms and looked at his watch. "You're late, Gwen, along with the others." Gwen looked at her watch. "Ahem, someone's neglecting their time zones..."

Embarrassed, Chris led them to the other end of the dock. "Okay, before I start to talk and you guys pretend to listen, I need a group shot of all of you!" The 22 campers arranged themselves and Chris began to countdown. "Three... two... one... darn, low battery. Be right back, getting my boat adapter..." Which, in response, got 22 groans, and a dock which began to shake. Trent began to worry. Before he could yell, Run!, the dock collapsed and the 22 competitors were soaked.

Heather whined, "My hair!" Trent cried, "My guitar!" Kevin complained, "My headphones!" Izzy exclaimed, "My blood pressure!" She swam back to shore and ran across the campsite, screaming the entire time.

As the campers dried off and gathered around, Chris began to explain everything. "Welcome to Camp Wawanakawa. You guys will compete in this reality show, for the 100,000 grand prize! How do you win? By voting off your fellow campers in the super-dramatic bonfire ceremonies after every challenge! Which reminds me, you guys'll be split up into teams!" Chris flipped to the last page on his clipboard. "Okay, if I call your name... stand over there." Chris pointed to his right.

"Justin... Gwen... DJ... Kevin... Owen... Courtney... LeShawna... Duncan... Bridgette... Eva... and... Trent!" He threw a green rolled-up piece of paper at Trent. "You guys are the Screaming Gophers!" Courtney remarked, "What a... creative name..." Eva bluntly stated, "It's stupid." "Deal with it," Chris rebutted.

"Now, the rest of you, which are Heather, Geoff, Izzy, Lindsay, Harold, Sadie, Beth, Cody, Tyler, Katie, and Ezekiel..." He threw a red rolled-up piece of paper at Ezekiel. "You eleven are the Killer Bass!" "I don't wanna kill anyone. Yet," Heather said as she scanned her team. Harold winked. "If you have to, make me last on your list." "Okay, lovebirds, settle down," Chris mocked.

Chris read his cuecard behind the camera. "Now, you guys are gonna have plenty of feelings to dish out during the course of the season, so you're gonna dish 'em in our bathroom confessional!" Chris: (confessional) Dish out all of your feelings in here! The other campers probably won't see it.... Izzy: (confessional) This is so cool! I just hope some killer in a hockey mask doesn't attack us at midnight, though. That would be baaad. Gwen: (confessional) I do not wanna be here. This was a bet between my little brother and I, and unfortunately, I won.

Chris noticed that Kevin was still listening to his iPod and LeShawna was still trying to get a signal. "Heh heh, I hope you two realize that no electronics are allowed on the island..." The campers all yelled, "What!?" Chris grinned from ear-to-ear. "You got that right. Everything goes in here." He picked up a basket. "Any camper caught with electronics after this moment will be eliminated immediately."

After collecting everything, Chris announced, "Now, let's show you where you guys are sleeping!" He led them to the cabins. "There are six bunkbeds in each cabin. One is for the Gophers, the other for the Bass. Guys get on side, girls get the other!" "Chris, there's only five girls on our team," Courtney whined. "Same with us, only there's five guys," Harold chimed. Chris walked away and said, "The extra bunk is for you to decide." Harold: (confessional) He's pretty good at making drama.

In the Gopher cabin, the girls (except for Courtney) unanimously decided that the extra bunk would be where they would put their extra stuff. Courtney protested, "So, we're just going to waste a bed?" Gwen laid down on her top bunk, above Eva. "Pretty much." Not wanting to seem like a bother, Courtney huffed and walked back to her bunk under Bridgette. LeShawna, Justin, and Kevin played cards together, in order to pass the time and try to forget about their electronics, which were now gone. "Wha'cha got," LeShawna inquired, while fluttering her cards. "Crap, I'm out," Justin frowned, as he dropped five 8s on the table. LeShawna and Kevin were confused. "How did you..." Justin erased some marks on the numbers to reveal that he actually had a 6, 8, 9, 3, and 2. LeShawna moved on to Kevin. "How 'bout you, mister headphone?" "Full house. Three aces, two kings," Kevin replied confidently, as he put his cards on the coffee table. LeShawna's expression faded. "That sucks, 'cause I got... a Royal Flush, baby!" Kevin's jaw dropped. "Whoa!" He pushed the rest of his cheese puffs to LeShawna, and they shook hands.

Meanwhile, in the Bass cabin, the girls began to have a fierce debate over the remaining bunk. "I brought an entire make-up kit. It's like, big," Lindsay argued. Heather rolled her eyes. "Of course it is. But I have to alternate bunks between weeks. I have my own bunkbed to myself at home." Ezekiel interrupted. "Who says you'll even be here for a week, eh?" "Excuse me!? Did you just question the longevity of my stay on this island," Heather exclaimed. Ezekiel moved back slowly. "Err, no.. I, uh..." Heather: (confessional) This. Sucks. Katie and Sadie began to converse. "Oh my gosh, I left those cute blue shorts back at home," Katie whined. Sadie asked, "The light blue ones I bought with you last week, or those cute short ones we got on Wednesday with Tracie?" Katie cried, "Both!"

Chris pressed the button on a blowhorn. Gwen poked her head out of a window. "Are you gonna go that everyday?" Chris shrugged. "Possibly. Now, follow me to the Mess Hall!" Once they arrived, they noticed a man about six feet tall carrying an 8-inch wide butcher knife. Chris gestured to him. "This is Chef Hatchet. He's your chef for your time on this show. It's either eat his food or starve, so I suggest you scarf it down." Geoff raised his hand. "What happened to Chinese Take-Out?" Chef's butcher knife toss was self-explanatory.

The camera zoomed out, and returned to Chris, who was on the beach next to the dock, which was being repaired by Chef. Chris smiled to the camera. "Who will be eliminated first? Who's gonna win the million dollar prize? Where did Katie and Sadie get those cute blue shorts? Find the answer to at least one of these questions on the next episode of Total. Drama. Island!"

Rock Bottom
The camera zoomed in on Chris. He recapped, "Last time, on Total Drama Island! Twenty-two teens arrived at a rundown summer camp, for the chance to win a hundred grand! Tension flared pretty early in the Bass cabin, while the Gophers gambled their feelings around! Who will win? Who will be the first to go? Find out, only on Total. Drama. Island!"

(theme song)

The campers were awoken by a loud megaphone, in front of a microphone, connected to an amplifier, connected to an electric guitar. Heather shrieked. "What the heck is going on out there?" The campers exited their cabins and gathered around Chris. "Hope you had a nice sleep! Now, before I get a smart comment from any of you," Chris darted his eyes at Kevin, who shrugged, "I'll explain your very first challenge!"

"You guys are gonna become rockstars for the day! It's up to you to decide who's in the band, who does technical stuff, the whole nine yards." Heather's hand shot up. "I call band manager!" Heather: (confessional) I had to take the leadership role. Have you seen my teammates? Chris continued to explain. "There's eleven of you on each team, but only seven will be needed. The rest of you are the audience. You'll need: One camper on vocals, one camper on bass, one camper on guitar, one camper on drums, one band manager, and two technical producers. You have eight hours to decide who's who and create a song! Best song wins the challenge and immunity for their team, and the losers will determine who gets the boot first! Your equipment is at the camp's amphitheater, a mile walk east! Ready, set..." Courtney raised her hand. "Chris, we haven't even eate--" Chris shouted, "GO!"

The campers ran towards the east, through the dense woods and towards the amphitheater. Trent: (confessional) I've never played an electric guitar before... must feel pretty awesome. Harold: (confessional) I play a rockin' air guitar. Wanna see? (Harold plays an air guitar, then makes a twang sound) Crud! Broke a string! Lindsay: (confessional) I'm a great singer. Listen to this! (attempts to hit a high note, but is incredibly off-pitch and cracks the camera lens)

As the campers arrived, they gthered around their equipment. DJ looked around and asked, "Who wants to be BM?" Owen wondered, "Doesn't that stand for bowel movement?" Owen: (confessional) (while munching on a bag of potato chips) It's a long story. (his stomach grumbles) Ohhh, boy... (he puts his hand over the camera lens, several disturbing noises are heard) "I guess I'll be band manager. I mean, I was part of my own band. I'm also a CIT," Courtney said. LeShawna crossed her arms. "What about these?" She pointed to the instruments. Trent gave his opinion. "The classic rock band has a guy on drums and guitar an a girl on bass, and vocals are up to us. I'll cover the guitar..." "...and Duncan and Bridgette can get bass and drums," Courtney said while giving Duncan a cold look. Duncan: (confessional) That girl's sass totally creases me. What the heck did I do? Gwen asked, "What about vocals? DJ and I can't do it, our voices crack too much. Eva's voice is a little... rough..." Justin cleared his throat. "I'll gladly sing for you guys." He winked. Twice. After swooning over the female Gophers, he suggested that LeShawna an Kevin be the technical producers due to their love of electronics. Courtney: (confessional) Everyone here is actually as smart as me. It's pressuring me.

At the same time, the Bass were deciding their roles as well. Heather clarified her role as band manager once again. "I called band manager a long time ago, so--" Katie and Sadie simultaneously cut off Heather. "We know!!" Heather: (confessional) I know that I'm not exactly anybody's BFF, but that's going to get me eliminated once we lose a challenge. Faking a smile, Heather turned to her teammates. "So, who wants to be the technical producers?" Tyler and Beth shrugged and volunteered. Tyler: (confessional) I dunno anything about computers or whatever, but it can't be too hard to do, heh... right? Harold jumped up. "I can play a wicked guitar!" Cody also sprung up. "And I'm awesome at the drums!" Heather continued to sport a false grin. "That's great! Lindsay can play bass, and Izzy can do vocals! Wait, where is that psych-- girl?" Izzy: (confessional) Hi, world! How ya doin'? I'm Izzy! Everyone here is so totally awesome! Especially that Tyler kid! He's so funny when he attacks the floor!"

The Gophers began to bicker about what the song would be. "We're a rock band! We need a hardcore song," Duncan explained. "Hardcore? It's not really necessary," Gwen said in rebuttal. Duncan was annoyed. "Uh, yeah, it kinda is." So was Gwen. "Oh, no, it isn't." Courtney was tired of the back-and-forth. "Let's just vote!" In the end, the majority of the team sided with Gwen, and they ended up writing a soft rock song.

Heather, realizing her nice act wasn't very effective, took Lindsay and Beth to the side. "Hey there, guys! Guess what?" Heather asked, with no enthusiasm at all. Beth gave up. "What?" Heather, with fake enthusiasm, squealed, "I can take you guys to the final three with me!" "Ohmigosh, that's so amazing!" Lindsay shrieked. An excited Beth asked, "What do we have to do to get there?" Heather smiled deviously. "All you have to do is vote off the same person as I do, and don't tell anyone about this." Lindsay: (confessional) I can't believe it! Heather's soooo nice!

Chris returned. "Now, it's time for you guys to practice! Get your technical cues ready, and start rehearsing your songs!" Chris led LeShawna, Kevin, Beth, and Tyler to two separate soundboards. "Here, you guys control all the technical stuff; the volume of each instrument, spotlight positions, fog machines, anything you can think of. As long as you know how to control it." As he walked back to the campgrounds, he announced, "Oh, and breakfast is served." Geoff was confused. "Dude, it's 4PM. What the heck?" "You're lucky I even remembered to feed you," said an annoyed Chris. Heather spit out her breakfast. "What the hell is this? I asked for egg whites. Make it again!" Chef's eyes narrowed and he bared his teeth while slowly spinning his butcher knife in his hands.

Beth, Tyler, Kevin, and LeShawna were at hard work on their soundboards, scarfing down flimsy bacon while changing volumes. By the time they finished, even Harold didn't understand what they were talking about. LeShawna asked Kevin, "You got spotlight A7 positioned stage right?" Kevin nodded. "Is bass set to 30%?" LeShawna made a thumbs-up. "Beth, where's fog machine 2's position?" Tyler questioned. Beth crossed her arms. "I already told you, and for the fourth time, downstage left!" Justin put his hands on his head. "Ah! End the madness!"

It was finally 8PM, time for the performances! The audience consisted of Chris, Chef, Gwen, DJ, Owen, Eva, Geoff, Katie, Sadie, and Ezekiel. Chris pulled out his megaphone. "Okay! You guys will be judged on three components. The song, the technical stuff, and the overall look! Each component is worth 10 points. Both Chef and I will score you. Team with the higher score wins invincibility! And first up is... the Screaming Gophers, or their alternate rock name... Splattered Darkness. Intense." As Chris sat back, the lights slowly faded in and a spotlight appeared on Trent, playing his guitar. Another spotlight faded in slowly revealing Justin, who was revealed to not be a very good singer. As a fog rolled across the stage, Duncan and Bridgette began to play the drums and bass, and the tempo picked up quickly. Crowd by the Screaming Gophers (Trent's guitar solo) Verse 1: You know why we're not moving on Our relationship's dead and gone And nobody's the one to blame, except for you We're not going to move forward What we had before is totally over And there's nothing else that me or you can do Chorus: Cause we're stuck in a crowd It's crazy and loud And I don't wanna make the same mistakes as before Cause we're stuck in a crowd There's a scream and a shout And I don't wanna be with you anymore Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhh... Verse 2: I can't stay with you forever It's gotta be now or never I don't know why but I can't just stay stuck on you like this My mind's made up Don't ask me, "What's up?" Because I can't stay with you for even one last kiss Repeat Chorus Bridge: Justin: Don't give me puppy dog eyes Trent: You saw this coming Bridgette: It was no surprise Duncan (with noticeably fake enthusiasm): I'm not gonna stay with you All: Because that's not what I wanna do.... Repeat Chorus The lights then faded out into a dark blue glow, and then were gone entirely. Everyone cheered, even the Bass stood up and applauded. Chris straighted himself up. "Well, that was average... I didn't really get what the song was about. I mean, what the heck does a crowd have to do with anything?" Trent explained, "It's like they've hit a rut in their relationship and they're stuck in a cro--" Chris put his hand up. "I don't care, though. Lights were great. but could've been better... I like the rock stereotype with a girl on the bass and the rest are guys... I'll give you a 23. Chef?" Chef raised a card that said 19 on it. Chris shrugged. "And that means your total score is a 42! Next up, is the Bass, otherwise known as... The Bass? Lame. Anyways, hurry it up!" Chris sat down on his chair, and two spotlights shone on Lindsay and Harold. They began to have an intense battle with their bass and guitar. In the end, Harold lost while admiring Lindsay, and Izzy began to sing, with a spotlight appearing on her late. I Want You On a Silver Platter by the Killer Bass Verse 1: Dinner's ready, gimme something to eat Imma rock until I'm tired of this beat It's gettin' hot with this intense heat I'm gonna have to go on and take a seat Chorus: Well, I want you now on a silver platter So shut the hell up, don't want no chatter Don't care if you love me, that don't matter I want you now on a silver platter Verse 2: Baby serve it up, now we alone Now get the hell out and walk back home It's a long, long way to walk in high heels Dish it out baby before I get ill Repeat Chorus Bridge: You're so delicious I need you now You're so damn vicious I wonder how You're so amazing I will rejoice Because you're blazing And it's my choice! Repeat Chorus (x2) ` The lights then faded out, and everyone applauded. Chris got up. "Heh, you guys wanna eat Lindsay? And what was up with those lights? I like how you were creative in picking a female voice, though. Hmm... I'll give you a 25. Chef needs to give you 18 points to win immunity. Chef...?" Chef shrugged and lifted a card which said 20. "Congratulations, Killer Bass! You're safe from elimination! As for the Gophers, I'll be seeing you at the first bonfire ceremony ever!"

The teenagers sat on the eleven logs around the campfire. Chris dramatically explained what happened at the bonfire ceremony. "You have casted your votes in the confessional, and they've been tallied. The person who does not receive a marshmallow will be eliminated. They will walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and leave. And not come back. Ever." He picked up a marshmallow. "The first marshmallow of the show goes to Bridgette. Awesome bass playing!" Bridgette got up and picked up her marshmallow. "The next two go to our techno-geeks, LeShawna and Kevin!" LeShawna glared at Chris, who's eyes shifted away. "Next up is the audience; Gwen, DJ, Owen, and Eva!" The four of them got their marshmallows. "Four campers left, three marshmallows. Which one of you is gone for good? All I know is that it's not Trent!" Trent exhaled and walked up to get his reward. Chris stared at the remaining three campers. "The second to last marshmallow goes to your band manager, Courtney!" Courtney snatched her marshmallow and tossed it into her mouth. Chris, annoyed, looked at the two boys still sitting on the logs. "Duncan and Justin, one of you will receive this marshmallow. The one who does not will walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and leave. The final marshmallow goes to..." He paused, waiting for the dramatic music to play. "Whatever, the new guy forgot his cue, so I guess I'm just gonna give it to you now, Justin." Duncan was appalled. "You guys kept him over me? Are you kidding me?" Courtney: (confessional) Not only was he a pain in the butt, he lost the challenge for us. Bye-bye, tough guy.

Chris looked at the camera. "With one camper gone, we've established friends and foes in this camp. Who will be eliminated next? Find out. only on Total. Drama. Island! Now, where's my coffee?"

''To Be Continued, and if I don't continue, harass me in the IRC about it. :P''

Key
WIN: Camper won invincibility for that night.

WIN: Camper won invincibility for himself/herself/their team for that night.

IN: Had their name called at the Bonfire Ceremony.

LOW: Received the final marshmallow at the Bonfire Ceremony.

LOW: Was supposed to be eliminated, but something happened that made him/her safe.

OUT: Voted out or eliminated in this episode.

1: Non-Elimination Episode.