Total Drama Tokyo

Total Drama Tokyo is the amazing fourth story of Toad's canon. Twenty all-new contestants fight for the gold in Tokyo, Japan. But radioactive monsters, candied fish tails, and shady bartenders, among other things, await... Who will win the million bucks? Tune in to the most dramatic season yet, Total Drama Tokyo!

Staff
Chris McLean

Chef Hatchet

Suzuki

Smoothie Guy

Contestants
Anderson

Ari

Bart

Bess

Christina

Estrella

Horatio

Isabel

Julian

Keenan

Layla

Milo

Oz

Quincy

Roz

Shawn

Tolkien

Valencia

Yasmin

Yuri

Chapter 1 - Say Konnichiwa To Tokyo
A familiar face is standing in front of what looks like the Tokyo Tower. Lights of a famous city are flashing behind him. "Hey, everybody! It's me, Chris McLean, and I'm here to host the next season of Total Drama, which I like to call Total Drama Tokyo! Last season, we had twenty contestants battle it out in Revolution City in North America. In the end, Tasia beat Kavren, winning the billion dollars. But Kavren got a consolation prize, also known as the fair Abbey! So, yeah. Rich dudes. Anyways, we have twenty all new contestants here to battle out in the largest city in the world! I hope our cohosts get here soon..."

Chris stands there for a minute. Then, a limo drives up, and out steps Chef Hatchet, with a squat Japanese dude.

"Yo, Chris. Here I am. And Suzuki is here, too." says Chef.

"Konnichiwa." says the Japanese dude, who is apparently Suzuki.

"What's he doing here? He already got eliminated from Total Drama Arcade." says Chris.

"Yeah, but I'm Japanese. Chef hired me for money, guy. Lots and lots of money." says Suzuki.

"Can we just meet our first contestant?" asks Chris.

"Yeah, man. Here you go." says Chef. "Looks like they're here."

A big plane flies down, and lands next to Chris and Chef. Out hops a pale girl with gothic clothes and a nose stud.

"Hi." says the girl, who is obviously not in the best mood.

"Well, hello." says Chris awkwardly. "What's your name?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" asks the girl rudely. She takes out a book reading "Animal Skulls of the World" and sits down. "Now, if you guys want to live, don't disturb me."

"Chef, is her name on the sign up sheet anywhere?" asks Chris.

"Ooh, Ooh, I got it." says Suzuki. "Her name's Estrella."

"That is a weird name." says Chris.

"Chris is a weird name." says Estrella, moments after Chris.

"Um, no it isn't. Christopher was the fifth most popular baby name the year I was born." says Chris.

"Estrella was the fifth most popular baby name the year I was born." says Estrella.

"I've never met anyone named Estrella besides you." says Chris.

Estrella gives Chris "the finger", then continues to read her book.

A boy comes out of the plane. He is stout, and has frizzy red hair, and a potion of some sort.

"Guten tag, guten tag." says the boy. "I am Quincy."

"Whatever. It's not like we're going to be on the same team or anything." says Estrella.

"Actually..." says Chris, checking the team listings.

"Save it for later, wad." says Estrella.

"Oh, you're in a nice mood today." says Quincy sarcastically.

"I don't appreciate your tongue." says Estrella.

"Maybe this will cheer you up, eh?" asks Quincy. He pours his potion onto Estrella's arm, and it turns green.

"You idiot! What the CRAP did you do?!" screams Estrella.

"Ah, don't worry. It will be fixed in four to six hours." says Quincy.

"Meh." says Estrella. She takes a glove out of her pocket and puts it on, hiding her green arm.

Another kid literally flies out of the plane. He also has red hair, and a green hoodie. He is wearing feminine pants.

"Sup, dudes and dudettes?" asks the kid with a sketchy grin on his face.

"Anderson! My man! Glad you made it out of the plane without pulling any pranks." says Chris.

"Um, actually..." says Anderson. "Never mind, dude."

"What's up with the pants?" asks Estrella.

"Aw, I don't want to talk about it." says Anderson. "My sister got revenge on me for all those things I did to her, so she put some lady pants on me, and they won't come off."

"I have invented an adhesive liquid that could easily take those pants off." says Quincy.

"Naw, I like the feel of them, dude. But thanks for the offer." says Anderson.

Another plane comes up, but this time it looks like a private jet. A girl with an angry frown on her face, and expensive-looking clothes, steps out of it with a butler following her.

"Charles, pick up that gum wrapper. I hate litterers." says the girl.

The girl's butler haplessly picks up the gum wrapper. "But Layla, you litter every day."

"So? That doesn't mean others should copy me." says Layla.

"Everyone, meet multimillionaire Layla A. Knee." says Chris boringly.

"What's up with my intro?" whines Layla. "I didn't come here to be overlooked. I came here to win, and add more bucks to my collection. Charles, give me a pop."

Layla's butler takes out an Orange Crushment and gives it to her.

"I hate Orange Crushment. I want a Mountain Fizz." says Layla. "Oh, and switch my uPod. I don't want Woman Googoo, switch it to Bruno Jupiter."

Charles does all of those things for Layla.

"You know, man, you're hot and all, but you should probably give your butler a break. He looks like he's pretty tired." says Anderson.

"So? I don't really care." says Layla.

Quincy pours something in Layla's hair, and it turns into an afro.

"Yuck! You idiot! Charles, make my hair back to normal." says Layla. Charles begins to massage her afro.

"Let's move on to our next contestant." says Chris.

A short, somewhat handsome dude with a big nose and colorful clothing, holding trading cards, comes out of the plane.

"Hi, everyone." he says cheerfully. "Have any of you ever played Luncheons and Laggins?"

"Oh, you mean that nerd game?" asks Estrella. "My friend plays it."

"Ooh! A girl L&L fan! Is she hot?" asks the kid. "Oh, my name is Tolkien, by the way."

"I suppose you could say she's hot. After all, she was a fan favorite from last season." says Estrella blandly.

"Ah, last season. My sister was in that." asks Anderson.

"Yeah, my sister was too, but whatever." says Estrella.

"Dude, who was it?" says Tolkien, hopping up and down happily.

"Um--" says Estrella.

"No. You're not revealing, we're doing that later." says Chris.

"Whatever. It's not like you guys care." say Estrella.

"What's with the trading cards, dude? Are those 'Majyk: The Meeting' cards?" asks Anderson. "I used to collect those."

"Yeah, man. Do you want the Black Lich? Its attack, Shadow Wand, does fifty damage unless the opponent is a light type, when it does five hundred damage and it also lowers the opponent's def--" says Tolkien.

"Just give me the card, guy." says Anderson.

Tolkien grumbles and hands Anderson the card. Anderson puts it in his pocket, crumpling it slightly.

"Watch it, dude, you could rip it!" says Tolkien.

"So?" asks Anderson. "I got ketchup on my Demon Heart card two years ago. It's still there." Tolkien gasps.

"Hopefully, you'll think this next person is hotter." says Chris. "Here's Isabel."

A blonde girl with curly hair and a pink and purple shirt comes out of the plane. "Where am I?" she asks cluelessly.

"You're in Tokyo, Japan." says Layla. Under her breath, she mumbles, "Idiot."

"Oooh, I love Tokyo! I climbed the Eiffel Tower here when I was four." says Isabel.

Everyone sighs and slaps their heads.

"She would be hot, but she's dangerously stupid." says Tolkien. Anderson nods.

"You're so pretty! I've never met a girl like you." says Isabel, approaching Tolkien.

"But, I'm not a girl..." says Tolkien.

"Ohhhh." says Isabel. "I knew that."

"I'm sure you did." says Anderson wisely.

A fat black kid with a red and white shirt with a nametag reading "CAVI", bling, and a big nose steps out of the plane.

"'Ey, guys, wassup?" says the boy.

"This is Shawn." says Chris apathetically.

"I think ya guys know me. After all, I am an amazing singer." says Shawn.

"Yeah, whatever." says Chris.

"Eeee, I love music!" says Isabel happily.

"Eww, I don't. It makes my ears bleed." says Anderson.

"How dare you insult Kishawn Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam Havana?" screams Shawn.

"Dude, that name is longer than Dolph's." says Tolkien.

"Hey, baby." says Shawn, approaching Layla seductively.

"Yuck." says Layla. "Charles, get me away from this creep."

Layla's butler pushes Layla away from Shawn.

"Shawty is an eenie meenie miney mo lova." winks Shawn.

"I'd rather date girl-pants over there." says Layla. Anderson makes a clicking noise.

"Here's the next contestant. Everybody give a warm welcome to Milo." says Chris.

A black kid with a mohawk falls from the sky, screaming his head off.

"Uh, hi?" asks Layla.

"Hey, dudes!" says Milo, with a high voice. "That was AWESOME!"

"Where did you just come from?" asks Quincy. "I'd like to make notes on it for my next experiment."

"I was skydivin'!" says Milo. "My parachute didn't work, but oh well."

"I want to make a song about that." says Anderson. He clears his throat. "Skydivin' guuuuuuuurl... You make my heart huuuuurl... You're as shiny as a pe--"

"I thought you said music made your ears bleed." says Layla, covering his ears.

"Other people's music does. My music is, like, totally epicsauce." says Anderson.

"I watched last season. It was wild, so I decided to join!" says Milo, drinking his water bottle.

"I don't know if that good choice or not. I hurt when I Total Drama." says Suzuki, waggling his finger. "Crazy dude killed me."

"One of the guys last season looked a lot like one of my buds. He's irresistible!" says Milo.

"Everybody, meet Bart. You may know him from MyCircle." says Chris.

Some guy steps out of the plane, eating Mickey D's. "Hey, dudes."

"Uh, who is that? Charles, find him on Headnovel for me." says Layla.

"Oh my god, it's the president!" screams Isabel.

"I'm not the president, idiot. But I should be." says Bart pompously.

"Bart Baker. Age twenty-three. 1,500 friends. Most known for making offensive parodies of songs on MyCircle." says Layla's butler, reading off of his uPad.

"Oh, you're that guy who dressed up as Friday Brown and made a nasty video about her song." says Tolkien.

"And you have a really weird obsession with shrimp." says Anderson.

"I parodied you in one of my videos, so shut up." says Bart.

"Am I the only one who has no idea who this tool is?" asks Estrella, while reading.

"Well, you're not a pervy dude, so probably." says Anderson.

"What's up with all of your videos involving shrimp, old men, or cross dressing?" asks Quincy.

"Shrimp is a good food. Old guys are funny. And I like cross dressing." says Bart.

"All right, I hate this guy. Charles, get me away from him." says Layla.

Charles pushes Layla into a dumpster. Everybody laughs.

"That is NOT funny." scolds Layla. "Charles, get them to stop laughing."

Charles farts. Everyone laughs even harder, except Estrella.

"At least one person has comon sense." says Layla, pointing to Estrella.

"No, I can't laugh. I've never laughed in my life, and I'm physically incapable." says Estrella.

"Yeah, right. Let me hear you try." says Layla.

Estrella tries to laugh, and a gagging noise comes out.

"See?" asks Estrella.

"That is the most awesome thing I have ever seen. Charles, make her do it again." says Layla.

Charles taps Estrella on the head. Estrella punches him in the stomach.

"I'm not really feeling it right now." says Estrella.

"Hey, dude, can I have some Mickey D's?" asks Tolkien, taking a fry.

"Get your own fries, you little--" says Bart.

The screen goes black, and switches to a guy in a banana suit dancing. It then goes back to Tokyo, where Chris is introducing the next person.

"Everyone, say hello to Oz." says Chris.

A morbidly obese guy with pink skin, a weird mustache, nerdy clothing, and a ponytail comes out of the plane.

"Oh my GOD, it's Oz from that comics store!" screams Tolkien.

"Like, seriously?." says Oz. "That, like, annoying little kid?"

"You are like a GOD to me." says Tolkien. "You must remember me! I come in with my buddies every day and play L&L!"

"Like, whatever. Get away from me, nerd." says Oz.

"Great, another nerd." says Layla.

"I love nerds, they're my favorite candy!" says Isabel.

"I am not a nerd. I am, like, wise beyond my years." says Oz.

"And you still live with your mother." says Bart.

"Like, how do you know that?!" glares Oz.

"I've been in that store once. It smells like shrimp." says Bart.

"That's extremely ironic." says Anderson.

"Shut up, lady pants." says Bart.

"Let's meet Valencia." says Chris.

A strange-looking girl comes out of the plane. She has red and brown hair, colorful arm bands and bracelets, and cool sneakers.

"Hey, everyone." says Valencia.

"I hate scene people. Charles, get me away from her." says Layla.

"Dude, chill. I'm not scene. I'm just alternative, a'ight?" asks Valencia.

"She's a good one." whispers Anderson. Tolkien nods.

"What was that?" says Valencia. "I didn't come here to pick up dudes. I came here to win."

"Win? You're not gonna win." says Bart.

"What about my sister? She got pretty far." says Valencia.

"What is this, that Twinklefog story where everyone was related to past contestants?" asks Quincy.

The plane suddenly explodes, and a guy is sent flying out.

"MY PLANE!" screams Chris. "Oh, hi, Keenan."

"Dude, what just happened?!" screams Keenan. "Someone put a bomb in the plane."

"Anderson..." says Chris.

"I couldn't help it, man. Sorr-eee." says Anderson.

"Whatever. We have more, anyways, this is Keenan, guys." says Chris.

"Nice boobs." says Estrella.

"Uh, thanks? I work out a lot." says Keenan.

Tolkien blatantly coughs, "Marty Stu."

"Marty Stu? Oh, no, man. That was my brother. That is, before he..." says Keenan. "Never mind."

"Who's your br--" asks Quincy.

"Idontwanttotalkaboutitokay?" says Keenan rapidly.

"You're hot." says Layla. "Charles, make him give me a hug."

Charles presses Layla up to Keenan, awkwardly.

"XD." says Tolkien, taking pictures. "Now, to put it on Oz's Wall of Shame."

"Only I get to choose the pictures that go on my wall of shame." says Oz.

"Here's Roz." says Chris. "Be warned, her family is a bit sketchy."

"YO YO YO!" screams a voice. A plane then crashes down from the sky, upside-down. A hot girl comes out, doing cartwheels.

"..." says Estrella. "TNWPJS, by the way."

"Wassup, everybody? I'm Roz, but you probably already knew that. Chris introduced me. Hehe." says Roz.

"Like, nice name." says Oz snidely.

"I like your bandana. I made a bandana out of cow snot once." says Quincy.

"Awesome! I once ate a gallon of cow snot when playing truth or dare with my sis and cuz." says Roz.

"That's pleasant." says Tolkien.

"Yeah, I know, right? My sister Izzy had to T.P. my drunken neighbor's house. She narrowly escaped the cops." says Roz.

"Wait. THE Izzy?" asks Anderson.

"Uh-huh. That's where I get my distinctiveness!" says Roz.

"I can tell." says Estrella snidely.

"Everyone, meet Ari." says Chris.

A cute girl comes out of the bus wearing blue jeans and a bird shirt.

"Mad Avians? I love that game." says Tolkien.

Ari giggles. "Yeah..."

"I like your nose." says Layla, touching Ari's nose. "Did you get it done?"

"No..." says Ari awkwardly.

"Ah, I know. I was just kidding." says Layla.

Ari giggles. "Yeah."

"Oh, my, god. You seem cool. Like, my perfect soulmate, or something." says Roz.

"Uh-huh." says Ari. "I see."

"All right everybody, let's meet Horatio." says Chris.

A weird looking kid with a suit, sunglasses, and fedora comes out.

"Hey, everybody. I know that times are tough, but we shall all band together and just be happy that we're alive." he says.

"That's odd." says Ari.

"I don't like this guy. But his speech sounds familiar." says Anderson.

"Like, he seems cool, guys." says Oz.

"No, he seems like a--." says Bart.

The screen cuts to a weird guy with a beard riding by in a Nyan Cat. Then, it goes back to Chris and the other contestants.

"Guys, this chick has been standing here for like an hour." says Valencia. "Chris, why didn't you introduce her?"

"Who dat girl? Who dat girl?" sings Shawn.

"I figured Yasmin could introduce herself." says Chris.

"Like, okay. Hey, guys, I'm, like, Yasmin." says Yasmin.

"Hey, we, like, talk the same." says Oz.

"That's, like, cool." says Bart, imitating her.

"Not funny, tool." says Yasmin, eating chips and texting.

"What's that thing in your hand?" asks Isabel.

"Like, it's, like, a phone." says Yasmin. "Duuuuhhhh."

"Here's our next contestant!" says Chris.

A super hot girl comes out of the plane wearing a black and white striped shirt, various necklaces, and skinny jeans.

"Oh my god, it's that hot girl from MyCircle!" says Milo.

"Calm yourself, Tolkien..." says Tolkien.

"Yeah, hey guys. My name's Christina." says the girl.

"I love your cover of E.P. by Kathy Beth Terry, dude." says Anderson.

"I parodied that song." says Bart sadly.

"Come on, I'm just another normal girl. You can treat me like just a regular person." says Christina.

"Well, I'm a celebrity from MyCircle, and everybody made fun of me when I arrived." says Bart smugly.

"Because you make disturbing parodies." says Milo. "Christina here is a sexy goddess."

"When I saw one of your parodies, I threw up." says Layla.

"Yeah, despite how abhorrent of a singer Friday Brown is, she didn't deserve to be made fun of in your video." says Christina.

"I like your videos, dude. Don't worry." says Anderson.

"That's legit, man. Thanks." says Bart.

"PSYCH! Haha." says Anderson. "Your videos suck, dude."

"Anderson, please keep it nice around here." says Chris.

"Do I haaaave to?" whines Anderson.

"Yes. Now, let's meet our next contestant, Julian." says Chris.

"His name's cool. Automatic win." says Anderson.

A black kid steps out of the plane. He has an afro and drumsticks.

"He's, like, hot." says Yasmin.

"What's up, guys? The name's Julian. That's it, I suppose." he says.

Julian walks over to a park bench and starts playing on it like it's a drum.

"Hey, man, I'm Milo." says Milo.

"Sure." says Julian.

"You know, you don't have to be rude." says Milo.

Milo looks, and Julian is fast asleep.

"Alex + Trent = Epicness." says Tolkien.

"Ugh. I totally hated Alex. Trent was hot, though." groans Layla.

"This is super awesome." says Anderson. "I hope he's on my team."

"Why, do you have a 'thang' for narcoleptics?" asks Shawn.

"No, man, I'm just trying to be cool." says Anderson.

Julian wakes up. "Narcoleptic? Nah. Just stay-up-all-night-banging-on-drums."

"I hope he's not on my team. I like sleep." says Estrella.

"I don't. I hope I'm on your team." says Julian.

Estrella says in the confessional, "What a ragtag bunch of misfits. Even my sister is more normal than most of these peeps. Except Milo, and that Valencia chick. They seem meh. Just meh. I'm not expecting to make any friends here. Heck, I'll probably be voted out first."

"Let's meet Yuri. She's, er, special." says Chris.

A car pulls up, and a girl walks out. She seems to be a fangirl, judging by the way she dresses. She is also native to Tokyo, judging by the fact that she arrived in a car instead of a plane.

"Let's see here..." she says. "You two. Eeee!" She points to Shawn and Julian.

"What are you talking about?" asks Shawn.

"Yeah, man, I like gurls." says Julian.

"You two would make a PERFECT couple!" she squeals.

"A yaoi fangirl?" asks Oz. "Like, seriously?"

"Yaoi. Ah, yaoi. Yes, we picked her because yaoi is a Japanese term. Yes, yes." says Suzuki.

"I'm straight, though." says Shawn.

"That's what they all say, bub." says Yuri, narrowing her eyes.

"Gurl, none of us are gay, so just shut up." says Layla.

"Well, that's rude." says Yuri.

"Charles, throw her in the dumpster." says Layla.

"Nah, I'm good." says Layla's butler.

"..." says Anderson.

"Anderson, not yet." says Chris. "Now, let's meet the last contestant... Bess."

A girl with a cowgirl hat, boots, and blond hair comes out.

"Nice hat, gurl. Can you make me one?!" screams Roz excitedly.

"Uhh..." says Ari.

"Howdy, y'all. Th' name's Bess, an' I came to this game jus' to make some friends and have a good time." she says in a Southern drawl.

"Ah, the farm girl. Such a cliched stereotype, there's one in, like, every season." says Oz.

"Well there hasn't been one yet in this series, so that's why we picked her." says Chris.

"Now, who wants to say hello to my cow, Bessie?" asks Bess.

A brown cow comes out of her plane and moos.

"You two have basically the same name." says Keenan.

"Yeah, I named her afta' me! Isn't she purty?" asks Bess.

"No, I hate cows. They crap." says Estrella.

"Everybody craps, li'l girl. Everybody craps. When ya work on th' farm, ya hafta learn that, y'know?" asks Bess.

"Whatever. Just don't expect me to be 'nice' to you." says Estrella.

"Where are you going to keep that cow, Bess?" asks Chris.

"Aww, I'll keep it in my room, an' stuff." says Bess.

"Dude, your 'rooms' are authentic Japanese hotels. It'll get all muddy. Chef, take it to the pigpens." says Chris.

"But it's a cow, li'l boy." says Bess.

"So?" asks Chef, then leaves.

"All right, then! There's our twenty contestants! Who will be the first boot off? Will we think of any Japanese-themed challenges? Or will Twinklefog come up with all of them for us? Find out next time on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"

Chapter 2 - Suzuki's Sushi Hunt
"Last time on Total Drama Tokyo, the twenty all-new contestants arrived to Tokyo! Some friendships, and enemy-ships, formed already, and other stuff happened. Today, we'll learn who everyone's related to! Oh, and Twinklefog, if you're reading this, it's a coincidence. I swear. All right, man?" begins Chris. "Let's meet our contestants' relatives!"

"Dude, I wonder who all the hot girls are related to? Wouldn't it be funny if they were all related to fugly chicks?" asks Bart rudely.

"Come on, man, be nice. What if you were a fugly chick? How would that make you feel?" asks Horatio.

"I would get plastic surgery and not have to worry about it anymore." says Bart.

"All right, guys, who wants to go first?" asks Chris. Nobody answers. After about a minute, Chris says, "All right, let's just go in alphabetical order which means Anderson will go first."

"Mkay, I'm PJ from Total Drama Revolution's brother." says Anderson.

"PJ? That creepy silent girl? I rolled around in my room when she first appeared." says Bart.

"Dude, shut up, I hate her too, but she's my sister." says Anderson.

"Wait, you're that jerk who was in PJ's video in the aftermath!" says Roz.

"Jerk? I go by many names. Jerk is usually not one of them." says Anderson. His clothes disappear, then they reappear again.

"PJ? I wear PJs when I go to bed. Mine have little bunnies on them." says Isabel.

"Cool story, bro. Tell it again." says Anderson.

"PJ? I wear PJs when I go to bed. Mine have little bunnies on them." says Isabel.

"That wasn't meant to be taken literally." says Chris. "All right, on to Ari."

"Uhhhh..." says Ari. "Well, my stepsister is Julia from Tiki..."

"The Julia? She was totally my favorite." says Roz. "Except my cousin, of course."

"Julia was pretty cool, I guess." says Anderson. "She was a ginger like yours truly."

"Oh my god. Did you guys know that gingers are telepathic?" asks Roz.

"What's a ginger? Is it some sort of fruit?" asks Isabel.

"Yeah, Isabel. It's a big, weiner-shaped fruit." says Bart snidely.

"Bart, don't be so mean." says Chris. "Let's find out who you're related to."

"Northworth." says Bart. "He's my @#$% brother."

"I can see where he gets his charm." whispers Valencia.

"What did you say, hottie?" asks Bart.

"Hottie?" asks Christina. "She's the hottie?"

"Oh, so you're jealous of Valencia?" asks Bart. "Ladies, I have enough room for both of you." he says, with both of them in his arms.

"Let go of me, please." says Valencia. Christina nods in agreement, Bart grumbles and lets go.

"All right, then Bess." says Chris.

"Well, my li'l cousin is Mattie, but I doubt y'all rememba' her." says Bess.

"Mattie? Who's that?" asks Tolkien.

"See wha' I mean? Th' gurl wit' th' cool shades, li'l man." says Bess.

"Ohhh, I remember her." says Tolkien. "Wait, little man?!"

"Your voice sound like a man, but you're purty li'l." says Bess.

Tolkien grumbles and takes out his nerd cards.

"All right, Christina? Your annoying stepbrother?" asks Chris.

Christina sighs then says, "Nic, who I hate."

"I think I saw him in one of your videos. He came in with his ribby belly and muttered something about an Abby." says Estrella.

"Exactly. That was my best vid, too." says Christina.

"All right, Estrella, your sis?" asks Chris.

"Tasia." says Estrella grumpily. "But don't expect me to win just like her."

"Whoa, what did she do with all the money?" asks Shawn.

"Bavarian sausages." says Estrella snidely. "Just like Julia." Ari giggles.

"What's up with these American girls and their Bavarian sausage fetish? I would have bought rapping stuff." says Shawn.

"Rapping is cool, but drumline is better." says Julian.

"All right, Horatio, who's your bro?" asks Chris.

"Antoine!" winks Horatio.

"The guy with squirrels in his, like, pants?" asks Oz.

Anderson looks at Oz' flabby legs. "I think you have more than squirrels in your pants, dude."

"Like, thanks for the compliment." says Oz dorkily.

"Julian, your brother? Oh, wait, you're one of the two who aren't related to anyone. Way to be boring." says Chris.

"So am I. And I don't think either of us are boring, guy." says Shawn.

"Yeah, Chris, be cool." says Julian, who's now lying down.

"All right, moving on. Keenan." says Chris.

"Um, Chris, can I be last?" asks Keenan. "Sorry for the inconvenience, me and my brother just have some troubles..."

"Fine, whatever, Layla." says Chris.

Charles is massaging Layla's feet. "Rub faster, you tool." says Layla.

"Yes, miss." says Charles. He whispers a dirty word under his breath.

"Wait, what did you ask me, Chris? I wasn't paying attention, because you know, I don't really care." she says.

"Who's your cousin?" asks Chris.

"Which one? There's Nellie, Fiona, Blaire, Snooki, Alfred, Garrison, Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam, Billy Bob Joe, Reginald, Remington, Frederick, Frasier, Niles, Octavia, Mary Sue, Sue Mary, Twinklefog, another Layla, yet another Layla, Laylaylayla, Lalainee, Brandon, No-Name, Jeremy, Marcel, Kendall, Bo--"

"Octavia was the one I was thinking of." says Chris.

"Uh-oh." says Keenan under his breath.

"Bob, Teddy, Billy, Teddy Billy, Chris, Margaret, Mordecai, Finn, Jake, Chowder, Flapjack, Ash Ketchup, Jynx, Charles II--"

"We get it, okay?" asks Chris.

"All right, gosh, you irritate me. Charles, get me an olive." says Layla.

Charles puts an olive into Layla's mouth. "Is that better, miss?"

"No, this one's sour. It tastes like Dolph brains." says Layla.

"How would you know what Dolph's brains taste like?" asks Julian warily.

"Pshaw. I don't. I was just saying that." says Layla.

"Milo, your weirdo cousin?" asks Chris.

Milo finishes chugging down his water bottle. "Uh, Ori from TDRev! He was pretty cool."

"Cool? Ori ain't cool. He voted out my cousin, y'hear?" asks Bess.

"Whatever, dude. Ori is a magical dude." says Milo.

"Oz, your obeeeese cousin is Arthur, moving on to..." says Chris.

"Dude, you didn't even, like, let me talk." says Oz.

"We haven't even started the challenge yet, so Quincy..." says Chris.

Quincy is playing with a frog that resembles a mouse. "Gustavo, that guy everyone hates, is my adopted broseph."

"I hated that guy." says Milo.

"See? You get my point." says Quincy.

"What's that mouse thingy? It's cool." says Roz.

"I found it..." says Quincy. "In my nose."

"O_o." says Christina.

"Roz, you said in your application form you're related to Izzy and Sharissa... Shawn, nobody..." says Chris.

"Yup. You got that right." says Shawn.

"Tolkien, what about you? Who's your li'l cousin?" asks Chris.

Tolkien is on his Wintendo SD. "One sec."

"No, dude, we're running out of time, seriously, who is it?" asks Chris.

"Kavren." says Tolkien.

"Whoa, I loved that guy!" says Julian. "Bloop pork."

"He was okay, I guess..." says Ari. "Kinda cute..."

Tolkien says in the confessional, "Ari's super hot. I'm totally gonna go for her, she's not the most popular so I have a chance... I think."

"Valencia, how about you?" asks Chris.

"Chrissy is my little sister." says Valencia. "We look kinda alike, eh?"

"Kinda. Chris, Chrissy, and Christina?" chuckles Christina. "Cool."

"Yasmin? Your brother is Alex, right?" asks Chris.

"Like, yeah, but you should have, like, told me to, like, introduce him, like." she says while eating barbeque chips and watching Nebraska Shore on her phone.

"That show isn't good for the mind." says Horatio.

"Like, I totally don't care." says Yasmin.

"And last but not least, wait we still have Keenan, but let's hear about Yuri." says Chris.

"OMG, my fourth cousin is Ricky from TDS! He was that stupid person who got first voted out. I tried pairing him up with Kurt, that other pathetic guy, but noooo. He says he likes girls, even though HE'S NEVER GOING TO GET ONE." says Yuri angrily.

"Relax, chica, it's not about boys or girls, it's about their personality." says Horatio wisely.

"Now, we can hear Keenan." says Chris.

"Wait, you skipped me!" says Isabel. "I love to skip, but still, you never said who I'm related to!"

"Uh, sure." says Chris.

"Gary is my brother!" she says happily.

"No, he's not. You said you didn't have a brother on your application form." says Chris. "You just have a sister, Amanda."

"Ohhhh. Gary is what I call Amanda!" says Isabel.

"I don't think any of us care, now, Keenan is the juicy one." says Chris.

"Juicy one. Hehe." says Bart.

"All right, guys, my brother is..." Keenan mumbles something inaudible.

"What? I didn't hear that." says Tolkien.

"Trey." says Keenan quietly.

"Haha. They actually do look a lot alike! I mean, Keenan isn't a bad guy, or so we think." says Roz.

"Yeah, but I'm afraid people won't like me, just like that Twinklefog chick..." says Keenan.

"Aww, man, we all like you, except that chick." says Anderson, pointing to Layla.

"TREY?! That little turd. My cousin Octavia had a gigantic crush on him, and he apparently liked her too. And then he just went and voted her off mysteriously, then he confessed that he never liked her! Augh, that guy makes me sick to my stomach!" says Layla.

"I knew it." says Keenan, shaking his head.

"All right, then, let's get to the challenge." says Chris. "Your first challenge is to--"

Suzuki runs in, screaming his head off.

Chris scoffs. "What is it now?"

Suzuki is panting and seems sad. "Someone stole my sushi! All twenty pieces!"

Chris thinks for a moment, then a lightbulb turns on over his head.

"I got it. You guys are gonna hunt for Suzuki's sushi." says Chris.

Suzuki grins. "Oh, thank you, thank you, Chris! Where could it be, do you think?"

Chris shakes his head. "I don't know, Suzuki, I don't know."

Suzuki gets angry and his eyes turn red. "Well, then, GO MAKE THEM FIND IT!"

Chris nods his head and shrinks down in the corner.

"Go." he says.

Anderson looks at Tolkien.

"Buddies?" he asks. Tolkien nods his head. "Sweet." says Anderson.

Oz comes up to the two. "Hey, like, guys. Mind if I join you in your quest for the noble sushi?"

"Zomglee, please! You're my hero!" says Tolkien.

"Eww, Tolk, I hate this guy, do we have to let him come?" asks Anderson. Tolkien nods.

"Like, thanks for being cool, guys." says Oz. He puts his arms around the two and they walk off.

"Hey, I think I see a sushi in that big box over there!" says Anderson.

"Anderson, you're the smallest, so wanna go get it?" asks Tolkien.

Anderson dives into the box. Tolkien and Oz wait for a moment, but he doesn't come out.

"I'm, like, going to help him." says Oz.

Oz dives into the box, and doesn't come out. Tolkien waits for a moment, then goes into the box. Some random Japanese guy closes the top of the box, trapping the three inside.

"Hey, look, it's the sushi!" says Anderson in the box.

"Uh, dude, I don't think that's our top priority." says Tolkien.

"Yeah, we're, like, trapped in here." says Oz.

"All right, then, what's everyone's favorite comic?" says Tolkien, attempting to start a conversation.

"I like R-rated comics. They remind me of my home life." says Anderson wistfully.

The camera then zooms out from the box, and into a Japanese arcade.

"So, dudes, think we're gonna find any sushi?" asks Valencia, who's hanging out with Julian and Shawn.

"I think I see some over there." says Julian. "Shawn, wanna go get it?"

"All right, fine." says Shawn.

He walks over to the sushi and tries to grab it, but Yuri pops out of nowhere and takes the sushi.

"Yuri, what the crap? That was my sushi." says Shawn.

"I will only give you this sushi if you admit you have a secret love for Julian." says Yuri.

"But, I don't. I have a girlfriend on another show." says Shawn.

"What's her name? Julian-ette?" asks Yuri rudely.

"Look, just give me the sushi and we'll leave you alone." says Shawn. "Julian and Val, back me up on this."

Julian is asleep on the ground and Valencia has disappeared.

Valencia is walking through a secret passage.

"What's that smell? It smells like a fish." says Valencia.

She opens a door and walks into a gigantic room filled completely with sushi and absolutely nothing else.

"Well, Valencia, you've just won invincibility." she says to herself. "Now, time to eat it."

Strange French music then plays as she eats about half the sushi.

"WHOOOO!" she yells, after eating all of the sushi except one piece.

The scene then switches to Ari, Bess, and Roz, who are looking for sushi in a dangerous part of town.

Ari giggles, then dodges a flying candied fish tail, while Roz fights off a bat.

"Uh, do ya really think this is th' best place t' hunt fo' sushi, gurls?" asks Bess.

"Come on, I'm a pro at this place. I've been to Tokyo before." says Roz.

"You have, have you? That's odd." says Ari.

"Odd? Naw, not really. It's cool here, I li--" says Roz.

A giant green hand picks up Ari. Ari begins to scream, and Roz and Bess look on.

"What the crap is that?!" asks Roz.

"Uh, I think it's a giant monsta'!" says Bess.

Ari continues to scream, and the thing reveals itself, and sure enough, it's a gigantic monster.

"I'm totally on it, watch the sushi, gurl." says Roz.

"Uh, there ain't any sushi we's collected, eh!" says Bess.

Roz shakes her head and steps onto the monster's arm. Ari continues to scream.

"Bleeeeh." says Roz, hanging upside down from the monster's tail.

"Uh, I don' think that's very safe, hon!" says Bess.

"Safe? What does that mean?" asks Roz diabolically.

"Uhhh, guys..." says Ari.

Ari points to the monster, who is slowly deflating. Roz and Bess stare at the deflating "monster" in shock.

"So, it's a fake monster? Wonder who made it?" asks Roz. "That's a pity, I like monsters."

The monster deflates completely, revealing a little skeletal structure with the smoothie guy at the top.

"Hey, it's that odd guy from TDRev." says Ari.

"Who the @#$% are you guys? I think I'm seeing things, because the last person I saw was that woozy chick in Rev." says the smoothie guy.

"Dude you're in another country and we're a new cast." says Roz. "Mhm." says Ari.

"All right, then I'm going to get out of here." says Smoothie Guy. He leaps away, and the camera follows him to a dark alley, where there is nobody but Milo.

"All righ', Milo, calm yourself. You've fought giant cats, aliens, and Jocktopus. Nothing is worse than that, man. Nothing." he says to himself.

Suddenly, Dolph leaps out of nowhere and jumps in front of Milo.

"Dolph?! What are you doing here? I thought you were dead... or something!" says Milo.

"Hello, my fishy friend. Are you looking for this?" Dolph holds up a piece of sushi.

"Yeah, man! My sushi! Can you give it to me?" asks Milo happily.

"Well, sure, if you get in this sack." says Dolph.

"No, man, you're gonna abduct me or some--" says Milo, but Dolph stuffs him in the sack and closes it.

"There, now, once you give me a piggyback for a few hours, you can have the sushi." says Dolph.

"Dude, this ain't cool! You're a stupid dude!" says Milo, while kicking and yelling.

"Aww, lighten up. Just like my friend Monty Cobra said, always look on the briiiight side of life." says Dolph.

"But, Monty Cobra isn't a real person, he's..." says Milo.

"You, my friend, are an idiot." says Dolph, then starts to whistle.

Milo begins to cry. "You're killin' me, man. You're killin' me."

"Maybe a piggyback will cheer up." says Dolph. He hops onto Milo's back.

"Ugh, how much do you weigh?!" asks Milo.

"Little boy, that's not important. What is important is that life is a piece of shit, when you look at it." says Dolph.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" asks Milo.

"Listen, Some things in life are bad. They can really make you sad, other things just make you swear and curse." says Dolph.

"Like this situation?" asks Milo.

"Exactly, boy. Now sing along with me." says Dolph.

"Always look on the briiiiight side of life..." says Milo. Dolph begins to whistle.

"My work here is done." he says, and he disappears, leaving just the sushi.

"Suh-weet!" says Milo. "That was weird, though."

The music that Dolph was singing appears in the background, and the camera changes to Layla, Isabel, and Estrella.

"Look, Layla, I found this piece of sushi first, so you need to give it back to me." snaps Estrella.

"I don't have to. Charles, chain her to that Japanese guy." says Layla.

The Japanese guy in the background is shocked. "Nanidesu ka? Watashi? Shikashi, watashi wa kono shōjo o shitte inai!" he says.

"What language is that? Is it Spanish?" asks Isabel.

Charles shakes his head, and chains Estrella to the Japanese guy.

"Watashi kara kanojo o hanarete shutoku shite kudasai, kore wa hijō ni fukaidesu." says the Japanese guy.

Dolph then flies above the girls, with his Nyan Cat, and sings, "When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle! And this'll help things turn out for the best..." He sprinkles sushi on all three girls.

"Ooh! Yum, sushi!" says Isabel.

"No, Izzy, don't--" says Layla.

Isabel eats every last bit of sushi. "Mm, that felt good." she says.

"Isabel, you idiot, you ate the sushi for the challenge. Suzuki is going to kill you." says Estrella.

"Personally, I don't care. That means her team's gonna lose, and she's gonna be the first voted off." says Layla happily.

"Voting? I love voting. It's what you do when you get a new fish, right? And off is a funny word. Off, off, off. I could say it all day." says Isabel.

"...Someone, shoot me. Please." says Estrella. Charles takes out a gun. "Not seriously." says Estrella.

The scene goes past Quincy, who is throwing potions at aliens, Bart and Christina, who are glued to each other, and goes back to the three boys in a box.

"You know what'd be funny? If one of was named Dick. You know, we're in a box, so..." says Anderson.

"I get it." says Tolkien.

"Like, guys, who's seen Dragon Ball X, season five, episode sixty? That was the one where Goku found the hidden power of Cell, and then Vegeta said over 9000." says Oz.

"Actually, he said that in episode twenty-one, get your facts right." says Tolkien.

"Like, I'm afraid that you're wrong, because I have a giant book with all the seasons and episodes in it, and I've, like, memorized every word of it, so I should know, plus I'm nine years older than you." says Oz.

"Well, your stupid book must be wrong, because I watched a marathon of that show for twenty-four hours straight." says Tolkien.

Anderson says in the confessional, "Nothing like hearing a couple of nerds arguing over some obscure Japanese anime I've never heard of. I should prank them."

"Hey, guys, I have something cool in my backpack, wanna see it?" asks Anderson.

"Sure." says Tolkien, and Oz nods in agreement.

"All right, just open it up." says Anderson.

Tolkien opens up the backpack, and a puff of flour turns Oz and Tolkien completely white.

"Like, I've always wanted to be white." says Oz. "Pink isn't cutting it."

"Anderson, it was a good prank and all, but what if it doesn't come off?" asks Tolkien.

"It's supposed to come off in four to six hours. Relax." says Anderson.

A title card is shown saying "Four to six hours later..."

The three boys are still in the box. The flour is nowhere near coming off.

"I think it's been four to six hours." says Tolkien. Anderson begins to whistle and turns away.

Some people are heard coming towards the box, and the boys begin to shudder. Then, Roz, Ari, and Bess open up the top of the box.

"Oh, there you are! The challenge ended four to six hours ago. We're waiting for you, hurry up." says Roz.

"Uh, yeah, don't wanna miss teams..." says Ari.

"C'mon, gurls, let's scoot! We don't wanna miss teams eitha'!" says Bess.

The three girls leave, taking Anderson and Tolkien with them. Anderson closes the box, leaving Oz in there.

"Uh, guys, aren't you, like, gonna help me? Hello? Guys?" asks Oz.

The rest of the contestants gather back at the center of town, where it is nighttime and the city is completely lit up.

"Tokyo is so beautiful at night!" says Yuri. "You know what'd be even more beautiful? If you two--" she points to Julian and Shawn, "would just date already."

"I already told you, I like girls, okay? How many times do I have to say it?" asks Shawn.

"Wanna read one of my Julawn stories?" asks Yuri.

"Julawn...? You made up a name for us? That's... That's messed up." says Julian.

Valencia comes in, with a giant bag full of sushi.

"There you are, where have you been? You ditched us." says Shawn.

"Oh, I was just taking care of," says Valencia, dumping the bag open and revealing the sushi, "This."

Chris comes in with Suzuki. "My sushi!" yells Suzuki, and he begins to eat it up. "You, my friend, win invincibility."

"But some of us collected sushi too." says Anderson.

"Yeah, I went through a LOT to get that sushi." says Milo.

"So? You only got one. Valencia here got about fifty." says Suzuki. "Now Chris, teams, please?"

"All right, then, team one, also known as the Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candied Fish Tails, will consist of Anderson, Oz, Tolkien, Julian, Bart, Ari, Roz, Bess, Valencia, and Estrella." says Chris.

"Whoo, I'm not on a team with Yuri. Thank god." says Julian.

"Good call, man, Julian, you can switch with Horatio." says Chris.

"WTF?" asks Julian. "Eee!" says Yuri, and hugs him.

"Cool, man, our team is going to rise our way to the top even if we have hardships." says Horatio.

"Then, the other team will be called..." says Chris. He looks around and sees Suzuki. "Suzuki's Flabby Jowls."

"I resemble that remark." says Suzuki.

"And it will consist of everyone else, also known as Milo, Julian, Shawn, Quincy, Keenan, Christina, Layla, Isabel, Yasmin, and Yuri." says Chris.

"Oooh, I love jowls! They're those birds that hoot, right?" asks Isabel.

"No, those are..." begins Christina. "You know, never mind. Yeah, jowls are birds that hoot."

"All right, and obviously, the Fish Tails won, since Valencia wrangled up all that sushi." says Chris. Valencia cheers.

"Ooh, I love fish tails!" says Isabel.

"And so the Jowls will be facing elimination, Suzuki can show you guys your dorms, also known as authentic Japanese hotels." says Chris.

Later on, the Fish Tails are relaxing in their hotel, while the Jowls are figuring out their victim.

"Lava lamp? Japanese fish tank? Sushi bar? Who cares? My house has way more of this crap." says Layla. "Charles, get me a smoothie."

Charles shakes his head and trips over Yasmin.

"Like, watch it, bub." says Yasmin, while eating chips.

"Ewwww, she's getting crumbs on the floor, Charlespickthemup." says Layla.

"Dude, they're just crumbs." says Milo while drinking out of his water bottle.

"Yeah, so guys, how's everyone's family member?" says Christina attempting to make conversation.

"Good." says everyone except Keenan.

"Yeah, you know how I feel about Trey." says Keenan.

Layla says in her confessional, with Charles behind her, "I think Keenan should be the first to go."

"And why do you think that, missy?" asks Charles. "I think he's a very nice boy."

"Nobody cares what you think, Charles." says Layla.

Charles sighs and exits the confessional, along with Layla.

Horatio approaches Yasmin. "Hey, baby, wanna go out for some shakes and stuff?" he asks.

"Eww, you're like, on the other team, so, like, go back to your fish tails." says Yasmin.

"No need to be a fool. Just be cool." says Horatio.

"Like, get away from me," says Yasmin, and she throws a chip at Horatio.

Horatio leaves and goes back to the Fish Tails' dorm.

"Hey, it's one of those guys." says Anderson, pointing to Horatio, who nods.

Roz is doing Ari's nails. "I still can't believe you've never painted your nails before. What kind of a person are you?"

"Uhhh," says Ari. "Someone who doesn't care about their personal appearance...?"

"When y' live on th' farm, ya don' need t' care about yer personal appearance." says Bess.

"I painted little dragons on your fingernails, Ari." says Roz. She then makes a seductive noise.

Tolkien comes up to them. "Ooooh. I want my nails painted." Everyone stares at him. "Never mind, I'll just go back to playing with my nerd cards..."

Chris is at the elimination ceremony, with the Flabby Jowls.

"All right, nine of you will be safe, while one of you will be walking the Whatever of Shame and going to the Insert-Vehicle-Here of Losers." says Chris.

"Couldn't you think of a more creative title, dude?" asks Julian.

"They're basically the same in every season, but anyways, Julian, you get the first sushi, which represents invincibility, of the season." Julian gets his sushi.

"Shawn and Yuri are safe, too." says Chris. The two get their sushi.

"Layla, sadly, and Charles, too." says Chris. Layla gets her sushi. Charles looks at it, and Layla says, "You can't have it."

"Milo, Christina, and Isabel." says Chris. Milo and Christina get their sushi.

"Aww, I'm voted out?" asks Isabel. "Bye, guys." She heads to the Insert-Vehicle-Here of Losers.

"No, you're safe, you dipthong." says Yasmin.

"All right, Quincy, Yasmin, and Keenan. Quincy, your potions are annoying and you're pretty creepy. Keenan, it'd be extremely cliche for you to be first voted out, but I wouldn't be surprised. Yasmin, you rejected Horatio, got chip crumbs on the floor, and you're just rude. The next sushi goes to Quincy." Quincy cheers and gets his sushi.

"Keenan and Yasmin." says Chris. "Come on, guys." says Yasmin, and Keenan just shakes his head solemnly. "The final sushi goes to..."

"Keenan." says Chris. "Sorry, Yasmin, time to take a little ride in the Insert-Vehicle-Here of Losers."

"Well, that was unexpected. Maybe the author's improving in terms of unexpected eliminations." says Keenan. "Thanks, guys, I knew you were a good team." He looks at Layla, who scowls. "I mean, most of you."

"Like, what the crap? What a crappy team. You guys are all, like, gonna die in a hole. I didn't even, like, get character development." says Yasmin.

"I'm sorry. Those crumbs were just nasty." says Layla. "Tell me about it." says Charles snidely.

"I hate chin studs." says Julian. Shawn nods in agreement.

"Pshhhaw. Whatevs." says Yasmin, and she leaves on the Insert-Vehicle-Here.

"All right, then, will the next chapter be as long as this one? Will the Fish Tails win again, or will the Jowls overcome their crappy team name and rise to the top? Will Ari do anything, and will Keenan become just a Holly? Will Horatio actually play his sax? And will Yuri succeed in shipping Julawn?"

"Seriously, you're saying that too?" asks Shawn.

"Find out next time on Total... Drama.. Tokyo!"

Chapter 3 - Bathhouse Blues
"Last time on Total Drama Tokyo the teams made sushi and Dolph was there and monsters and I have no idea what happened. And Yasmin was eliminated. Suzuki was the only one paying attention." says Chris.

"You dumb poopyface. They did not make sushi, they found my stolen sushi." says Suzuki.

"Whatever, it's not like I pay any attention to these episodes. I'm asleep, usually." says Chris.

"You sleep with your eyes open?" mutters Suzuki. "Glad I'm not the only one..."

"Now, let's see how our teams are doing." says Chris. "If you guys remember, they're the Fish Tails and the Flabby Jowls."

"The second one is quite offending to me. Mind if I change it to the Wily Tanukis?" asks Suzuki.

"That actually has a nice ring to it. Sure." says Chris.

"Wily Tanukis it is. I shall let the team know right now." says Suzuki. He leaves, then twenty minutes later, he comes back, all beaten up.

"I guess they're staying as the Jowls?" asks Chris.

"Yes. They did not take the change very well." says Suzuki, sadly.

The camera pans to Julian, who is whistling the song "Cost Tag" by Kessie K, in the hallway outside the other team's dorm.

Estrella comes out of the door to the Fish Tails' dorm, and sees Julian.

"Who are you? And why are you out here? You spying on us?" she asks.

"No, man, I was gonna take a wazz and fell asleep, plus, Yuri is annoying as heck." says Julian.

"Yuri? That gay pairing obsessed chick? I feel sorry for you. And I rarely feel sorry for anyone." says Estrella.

"Hey, thanks. You know, you're pretty cute." says Julian, winking.

"Shut up, I don't date, especially over-flirtatious dudes with poofy afros and extraterrestrials on their shirts." says Estrella unpleasantly.

"Seriously, though, don't care that you're a goth, it's on the inside that counts." says Julian.

"You sounded an awful lot like Horatio right then." says Estrella.

"Horatio? Yeah, we're probably a lot alike. Musicians, you know?" asks Julian. "They all share brains."

Estrella chuckles for a bit, then notices this and stops herself.

Julian playfully punches Estrella. "I heard you laughing."

"No." snaps Estrella. "I can't laugh. Remember, I'm physically incapable."

"I wasn't there when you said that, if you ever did and you're not just yanking my chain." says Julian.

Estrella giggles a bit. "See?" asks Julian. "You think I'm funny, don't you?"

"No. You're the least funny person I've ever met." says Estrella rudely.

"Whatever, babe, I know you want me." says Julian. "I should be off, it's pretty late. See ya tomorrow, Strelly." Julian leaves.

"Strelly..." groans Estrella. She leaves the hallway and goes back to her dorm as well.

Julian quietly tiptoes back into the Jowls' dorm, but wakes up Shawn.

"Hey, man, whatcha doin' up?" asks Shawn.

"Oh, I was just..." says Julian. "Uh, I was just taking a pee."

"For half an hour? Pshaw. Who is she?" asks Shawn.

"Who is who?" asks Julian. "I don't get it."

"You do. Who's the girl you like?" asks Shawn. "I know there's someone."

"There's not, man, I didn't come here to win a chick, I came here to be obnoxious and play my drums." says Julian.

"That just sounded like Estrellaestrellaestrella to me." says Shawn.

Julian gapes. "WTF, man? How...?"

"I know all, man." says Shawn. "Never trust a Jamaican."

Yuri pops up, out of nowhere. "Hai, you two dating?! Eee!"

"Yuri. We are not dating." says Julian. "Go do something else."

"Julian likes another girl." winks Shawn. Julian knees him in the groin.

"What's her name? Shawn-ette?!" says Yuri angrily.

"You already said that joke last night. It's not even funny." says Shawn.

The scene then switches to the upstairs of the Flab's dorm, where Christina is sitting alone, playing piano.

Isabel comes in. "How's your guitar playing?" she asks cheerfully.

"Girl, you have a lot to learn about music." says Christina.

"Sorry, I like music a lot. Dustin Nutria is definitely my favorite! She's so pretty and her voice is so high!" says Isabel.

"Dustin is..." says Christina. "Never mind. Sit down, let's talk."

Layla and Charles come up. "Eww, it's grody in here, Charlescleanitup." Charles takes out a dustpan.

"It was all fun and games till you showed up. Gee, thanks Layla." says Christina.

"I like Layla! She's pretty and really nice. Her friend who follows her is cool too." says Isabel.

"Izz, Layla is just using you. She hates everyone here." says Christina.

"No, she's not! How could you say such a thing?!" shouts Isabel.

"Gee, it's Lindsay and Heather all over again..." says Christina.

"Lindsay was so stupid! Heather was nice, though. And pretty. Like Layla!" says Isabel.

Layla flips off Christina, then smiles. "Thanks, Isabel."

"You're welcome! Tell that funny man over there I said hi, too." says Isabel.

Charles looks away from his dusting. "Eh? Funny man?"

"You can't be helped." says Christina. Layla scowls at her.

Milo comes in, with his water bottle. "I'm looking for Bea, have you guys seen her?"

"Who's Bea? Charles, tell me who she is." says Layla.

"I don't know any Beas, mistress." says Charles.

"Well then, get to know one." says Layla angrily.

"Bea is one of my fish friends! I'm a fish, secretly." says Milo, chugging his water.

"I love fish! He's so cool, he's a fish!" says Isabel.

"...You know he's kidding, right?" asks Christina.

"I'm not kidding." says Milo very plainly.

Keenan is slumped on his bed. Quincy is listening to "Tops Down" by Troy Melodiez.

"Dude, I can't believe I was almost first voted out just because I'm Trey's brother." says Keenan.

"I mean, it's not a bad reason to vote off someone. Trey was a poopface." says Quincy.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm a poophead." says Keenan.

"It kinda does, but whatever." says Quincy. Keenan throws a pillow at him.

The scene then switches to the Fish Tails' dorm.

Roz is hanging upside down from the top of the ceiling. "Any boys you like, Ariana?"

Ari thinks for a moment, then tries to change the subject. "Uhh, why are you hanging from the ceiling? Isn't that... dangerous?"

"You're trying to dodge my question. Do you like any boys?" asks Roz.

"Uhh..." says Ari. "Even if I did, why would I tell you?"

"Because you're my best friend on the show." says Roz.

"Uhh, I've known you for like two days..." says Ari.

"Fine, if you don't want to talk about boys, let's talk about Chappy." says Roz.

"Chappy...?" asks Ari. "Who's that..."

"Chappy is my..." says Roz. "Just tell me who you like, gurl."

"Well, I don't actually like anyone, but I think Tolkien is kinda cute." says Ari.

"Tolkien? But he's so nerdy!" says Roz.

"I know..." says Ari. "All right, romantic moment ends here. Where's Bess?"

"Howdy, y'all!" says Bess, coming in riding on Bessie.

"What's your cow doing in here? Didn't Chris say he's not allowed?" asks Roz.

"One, it's a she. And two, who cares wha' Chris thanks?" asks Bess.

"I think you should, or he'll eliminate you." says Ari.

The scene changes to the upstairs of the Fish Tails' dorm, where Tolkien and Oz are playing L&L.

"Awesome, man, I just beat your Necromancer Mage card with my Egyptian Prince." says Tolkien.

"Like, this game sucks, can't we, like, read some comics?" asks Oz.

"No, man, I'm about to beat you." says Tolkien.

A giant bucket of green slime pours from the ceiling, out of nowhere. "Anderson..." says Tolkien.

Anderson hops out from nowhere, naked. "Hey, guys, wasn't that funny?" he asks.

"No, we're completely covered in green slime." says Tolkien.

"Like, you're the most annoying person I've ever met." says Oz.

"Whatever." says Anderson. "Do you even care that I'm naked?"

"Yeah, I can se your thingadingaling, put some pants on." says Tolkien.

"I have an idea, guys. Let's infiltrate Bart's room." says Anderson.

"Are you crazy?! That Bart guy is dangerous. Nobody knows what his true personality is." says Tolkien.

"I wonder if Horatio knows?" asks Oz.

"Hey, where is Horatio? I haven't seen him today." says Anderson.

Horatio flies out from the ceiling, with his clothes ripped and his shades broken.

"I tried to go in Bart's room, man. He has a pit bull up there." says Horatio.

"A pit bull? First Bessie, now this?" asks Tolkien.

"Come on, let's just go. He can't have a pitbull. Horatio, you're full of crap." says Anderson.

"All right, but if you don't come down, it's not my fault." says Horatio.

Anderson and Tolkien slowly creep upstairs. They see Bart asleep on his bed.

"Good, he's asleep, so we can look through his stuff." says Anderson.

"This isn't a good idea, dude." says Tolkien.

Bart mumbles something in his sleep that sounds like something naughty but it is mostly inaudible.

"Let's get out of here, guy." says Tolkien.

"All right, we can, if you put that underwear on his head." Anderson points to a pair of underwear lying on the floor.

"No way, man, I think it's dirty." says Tolkien.

Anderson grumbles, picks up the underwear, and tosses it onto Bart's head. Bart wakes up, and yells. "NOOOOOO CHILDREN!"

"LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" yells Tolkien. Anderson follows.

The two boys skedaddle out of Bart's room and down the stairs, where they see Oz, who slaps his head. Bart falls through the ceiling and onto the two.

"Haha, I've got you now, suckers." says Bart.

He picks up the two boys, and straps them to a chair using some rope that he had in his pocket.

"Where did you get that rope?" asks Tolkien worriedly.

"Uh, I don't think that's our biggest concern." says Anderson. Bart holds up a knife and grins.

Chris comes in the second Bart gets out his knife. "Time for the ch--" He sees what's going on. "Bart, no weapons, you know that."

Bart mutters a swear word and puts his knife away. "Yes, sir."

Chris meets the contestants outside a giant bathhouse, overlooking a lake in the countryside of Tokyo.

"Whoa, this place is awesome." says Valencia.

"A perfect place for romance." says Yuri, glaring at Julian and Shawn.

"What's our challenge, Chris-boy?" asks Christina.

"All right, so if you know, this is a bath house." says Chris. "You guys are going to bathe customers, and do other stuff that I tell you to do, all right?"

"Sounds easy enough." shrugs Keenan.

Chris snaps his fingers, and he turns into a giant dragon. "Now, I will be upstairs. Ask me if you need anything." He disappears.

"..." says Anderson, who is obviously scared by the new Chris.

Chef then comes in. "He didn't explain everyone's parts in the challenge, so I will. Anderson, Tolkien, Ari, and Roz, you guys will be bathing customers."

"YES!" yells Roz. Anderson groans, Tolkien looks sexually aroused, and Ari just looks awkward.

"Oz, Bart, and Bess, you guys can take care of the food stands, but don't eat anything, or else." says Chef.

"But I'm, like, super hungry." says Oz.

"Estrella, Valencia, and Horatio, you guys can hang up towels." says Chef.

"Yes, my favorite thing to do." says Estrella sarcastically.

"I don't appreciate the lip, girl." says Chef.

"I do." says Estrella extremely rudely.

"As for the other team, Layla, Isabel, Christina, and Keenan can bathe the customers. Quincy and Milo can take care of towels, and Julian, Shawn, and Yuri can take care of the food." says Chef.

"Dear god, you have to be kidding me." says Julian. Yuri tackle-hugs Shawn.

The Fish Tails who are running the baths set up their stuff. Anderson picks up a little pebble and throws it at Layla, on the other team.

"You little twerp. Charles, give him a nice spanking in the buttocks." says Layla.

"Sire, I'd rather not. I'm quite tired." says Charles.

"Oooh. Spank me in the buttocks. Come on, do it." says Anderson, wiggling his butt.

Charles shakes his head, and spanks Anderson extremely hard. His butt gets red.

"Uh, Anderson, don't start a fight." says Roz. "Charles seems feisty."

Milo runs past Quincy, spraying water at him. "Say that fish can talk!" he yells.

Quincy sprays a potion back at Milo, who turns into a fish. "There, let's see if you can talk."

Milo says a very naughty word and sticks up his middle fin.

"All right, you won." Quincy pours the potion on Milo again and he turns back to a human.

The scene goes back to the Fish Tails. "Uh, guys, will the people we're bathing be..." says Ari. "Clothed?"

"Hopefully." says Tolkien. "Sounds almost as bad as Chatrotate." Ari laughs.

Tolkien says in the confessional, "Yay, Ari's laughing at stuff I say. Either she has a horrible sense of humor or I'm the King of Komedy. Wait, that's my cuz."

Anderson takes his clothes off and dives into the bath.

"Whaddya waitin' for, guys? Wanna bathe me?" asks Anderson.

"I don't think you're a customer," says Roz, who is playing with a lighter.

"So? Will someone massage my--" says Anderson.

Dolph comes down on a Nyan cat. "No inappropriate language, my friend. I am the first customer, wanna bathe me?" he winks.

"Eww..." says Ari.

Dolph begins to take his clothes off. "You know, I don't exactly care if this is not PG, I need a bath."

"All right, fine." says Anderson. Dolph gets his hair all wet. "Wash it, young'un."

Anderson puts Cheez Whiz in his hair. "There's your shampoo."

"This smells strangely like Cheez Whiz. If it is, I'll tell Chris to make your team lose." says Dolph.

Tolkien, Ari, and Roz glare at Anderson.

Anderson notices this for a moment, then runs away, still naked. Roz and Ari chase after him.

"Come back here, you little--" says Roz.

The three pass Estrella, Valencia, and Horatio, who are folding towels.

"So, guys, who wants a boyfriend? Huh?" asks Horatio seductively.

"Not exactly interested." says Estrella snidely.

"Why? Because you're too busy going goo-goo over Julian?" asks Horatio.

"Julian? Is that that weirdo afro dude? Never talked to him." says Estrella.

"Ooh. Estrella's crushing on Julian? He looks like a pedophile." says Valencia.

"I am NOT." says Estrella. Horatio mutters something.

"Do you want to get punched in the face? Because I'd be happy to do you a favor." says Estrella.

"Well, you two could be okay together. I guess." says Valencia. "My first boyfriend was covered in tattoos, had twenty motorcycles, and smoked and drank beer when he was eleven. Yeah, that didn't last long."

Julian walks by with Shawn, trying to get away from Yuri. He winks at Estrella.

"See, he likes you too." says Horatio. Estrella punches him, not playfully.

Meanwhile, Oz is chowing down on the food that he was not supposed to eat.

"Dude, you're not supposed to eat that crap. Chris said so." says Bart.

"Yeah, ya might get sick or somethin'!" says Bess.

Oz doesn't reply. He then looks at them, and he has transformed into a pig with a mustache. "Oink."

"Hey, he looks like m' pig back home, Charlie!" says Bess.

"This is bad, we just turned one of our team members into a pig." says Bart. "Although, he was annoying."

"Oink." says Oz again. He then kicks Bart in the groin with his hoof.

"Yeah, we have to change him back." says Bart.

"I'm super good wi' animals! I can totally do this." says Bess.

Oz barfs up some hay. "Oinkers."

Bess pats Oz on the back. "Hope this makes ya feel better, guy."

Oz turns into dust and rainbow sprinkles.

"You arsehole." says Bart. "Now he's dust."

"Why, I didn't know that'd happen! Sorry, Oz, I mean, th' pile o' dust!" says Bess.

Anderson runs by, still naked. Roz and Ari are on his tail.

"We don't want to do this, but we might have to." says Roz, and she takes out a lighter.

"Please don't kill me!" says Anderson, while running.

"Uhhh, we shouldn't kill him..." says Ari.

"I'm just a poor little boy!" whines Anderson. He then ducks into a corner.

"Where'd he go..." says Ari.

"I got him." says Roz. She finds Anderson, picks him up, and continues running, with Ari running as well.

"Where are we taking him?" asks Ari. "To Chris?"

"No, to the bathroom." says Roz. "He's gonna get his just desserts." Roz puts duct tape on Anderson's mouth.

The three get to the bathroom, and Roz takes a towel from Valencia, who is still folding them. Roz gets it wet, and whips Anderson with it in the butt.

"OW!" yells Anderson. "That hurt, man!"

Horatio hands Roz a towel, and she whips Anderson with it, again.

"Dude, can you please stop?" asks Anderson.

"Yeah, if you admit that your pranks suck and we're cooler than you." says Roz.

"Roz, this isn't a good idea..." says Ari.

"Calm your balls, big boy." says Roz.

"Fine, I'll stop pranking! Just stop whipping me in the butt with these goddamn towels!" says Anderson.

"Our work here is done. Come on, let's take care of some bid-ness." says Roz. Ari follows her.

Tolkien comes in. "What'd they do to you, dude?"

"Whipped me in the butt with some towels." says Anderson.

"Not gonna lie, it was pretty funny." says Horatio.

"I love watching people writhe in pain." says Estrella. "Don't judge me."

"You, my friend, are a messed-up girl." says Valencia.

Chris then comes in. He is still a dragon. "Guys, time for the elimination. You lost." he says.

"Aww, crap." says Anderson. Everyone glares at him.

Bess then comes in, with Bart and the pile of dust. "Hey, guys, I turned Oz into a pile of dust... Sorry." she says. Everyone glares at her.

The Jowls are hanging out in their Japanese hotel.

"So, Isabel, just saying, Layla is totally using you." says Christina.

"No, she is not." says Isabel. She slaps Christina.

"Ow, that hurt, girl. Calm down." says Christina. "I'm just trying to help you."

Layla shouts from the bathroom. "Isabel, wipe my heinie."

"Can't you make Charles do it?" asks Christina.

"It's the girls' bathroom, and I'm pretty sure Charles is a boy." says Layla rudely.

Keenan comes up to the girls. "Hey, guys. What's up?" he says coolly.

"Uh, Keenan, I'm still debating on whether to trust you, since you're, you know..." says Christina.

Keenan says in the confessional, "The hottest girl on the team hates me, oh, how great. What am I supposed to do in this game if I can't make any friends? Stupid Trey, if you're watching this, you should be happy."

Trey is shown at home, lying on the couch and listening to Big Dwayne. He turns on the TV, sees that, and sighs.

Meanwhile, Julian is asleep. Yuri pops up behind him. "Hey Juju!"

"ARGH!" says Julian. "What do you want, now?"

"I found this," she holds up a plush doll of Shawn, "lying in your backpack. Do you have a thing for Shawn? Admit it or I'll write some inappropriate fanfiction."

"I've never seen that doll in my life. Did you make it?" asks Julian.

"No, I did not. I swear on everything I have." says Yuri.

"I find that hard to believe." says Julian.

The scene switches to some Japanese guys in the middle of town. The first one says something in Japanese. The caption reads, "Did you get that new Shawn Havana doll?"

The second guy says something else. The caption reads, "Indeed, I did. However. I am using it as a voodoo doll." He pokes the Shawn doll in the stomach.

Back in the hotel, Shawn feels a sharp pain in his stomach. "!"

The Fish Tails are in their dorm, trying to decide who to vote out and trying to revive Oz.

"All right, so how are we going to change Oz back from a pile of dust?" asks Tolkien.

"Perhaps I can be of assistance." says Dolph, coming down from the ceiling.

"Get out of here, Dolph." says Anderson.

Dolph leaps up to the balcony. Anderson quickly follows him, and kicks him in the groin. Dolph whistles, and his Nyan Cat comes out of nowhere and headbutts Anderson, who keels over and utters a small moan.

"I will be seeing you children later." says Dolph. The Nyan Cat barfs out rainbows onto the pile of dust, which turns back into Oz.

"Like, what just happened?" asks Oz, who is looking and feeling woozy.

"You turned into a pig and a pile of dust, thanks to Bess over there." says Horatio.

"I'm sorry, boy! I didn't know that'd happen! Please excuse me!" says Bess.

"Can we vote out three people tonight?" asks Estrella, glaring at Oz, Anderson, and Bess.

"I don't know, all three have some good traits to them." says Valencia, who shrugs.

Chris meets them at the elimination ceremony. "I thought you guys were going to be the next Over Nine Thousand. Ah, well, the first marshmallow goes to Horatio." Horatio catches his sushi and grins.

"Tolkien and Ari are safe." says Chris.

Tolkien tries to catch the sushi in his mouth, but ends up choking on it. Horatio does the Heimlich and it ends up flying onto Ari's face. Tolkien giggles nervously.

"Roz, Estrella, and Valencia." Roz eats all three pieces of sushi, and Estrella flips her off while Valencia just sighs.

"And Oz, sadly." says Chris. Oz cheers, and eats his sushi.

"All right, Bart, Bess, and Anderson. Bart, you almost killed Anderson and Tolkien, and you're just overall a tool. Anderson, your pranks have gone too far. And Bess, you know what you did. The next sushi goes to Bess." Bess smiles and catches her sushi.

"Bart and Anderson. The final sushi goes to..."

"Bart." Bart flips off his team and smiles.

"All right, you tools. I don't need this stupid game, anyways." says Anderson, and he stomps away in a huff.

"Hey, he got the same place as PJ." says Horatio.

"Aaaaugh. I hate this team. I'm not going to miss anyone." says Anderson angrily.

"Not even me?" asks Tolkien.

"You arse, I never liked you, I was only playing you to get farther in the game. Get a clue, turd." says Anderson.

Tolkien's mouth begins to hang open like a dead fish. Horatio pats him on the back.

"Just kidding, can't you take a joke?" asks Anderson. "See ya, bro. Everyone else, go @#$%."

Tolkien shakes his head, and looks at Ari, who shrugs.

Anderson walks into the Insert-Vehicle-Here of Losers, and everyone cheers except Tolkien.

"Well, whatever. I thought that guy was gonna get far! Anyways, see you next time on Total Drama Tokyo!"

Chapter 4 - Take Another Skit
"Last time on Total Drama Tokyo, the teams had a strange bathhouse challenge. Chef watched some Japanese movies, so that explains the strangeness. The Fish Tails lost, thanks to sleazy little Anderson, who later became the show's second bootout, ironically gaining the same place as his sister, PJ! What will happen today, on another strange episode of Total Drama Tokyo? Find out now, I guess."

Layla is in her dorm, complaining, while Charles is massaging her feet. Isabel and Christina are next to her.

"Pshaw. Bruno Jupiter should get me some credit. I wrote this song." she whines.

"Uh, mistress, you did not write that song. I believe Bruno did." says Charles.

"No, I did. He came to our house and wanted song ideas, so I told him that song." says Layla.

"I believe you are mistaken." says Charles. "That song came out a while ago."

"Go to Bruno's house and yell at him for stealing my song." snaps Layla.

"But it is not your song. I will not do that." says Charles.

"Do it, or you're fired, sonny." says Layla.

Charles shakes his head. "Where did you put your private jet?"

"I don't believe you have a license to pilot that thing." says Layla.

"I thought I got it last year. I don't want to go to a different country." whines Charles.

"Well, sometimes, we have to do things we don't want to do, don't we?" says Layla.

Charles sighs, and leaves, sadly.

"Don't you think you're being a little bit harsh on the guy?" asks Christina.

"No. I don't think that at all, and I never have." says Layla.

"He's so cute, I think you should give him a break." says Isabel.

"Cute? CUTE? He's fifty-one years old." says Layla.

"Aww. I love old people, especially how they shake whenever they eat their food." says Isabel.

"That's not funny, Isabel. It's kinda worrying." says Christina.

"I think it's funny, so you need to respect my opinion." says Isabel wisely.

"Is it just me, or did she just seem extremely smart right there?" asks Christina.

Nobody answers. Christina waits for a minute. "Ah, well, off to play Myth of Zedla."

Julian is banging on drums. Shawn wakes up, angry.

"Will you quiet down? I'm trying to sleep." says Shawn.

"Dude, chillax, it's three in the afternoon." says Julian.

"I don't care, I was up all last night and I need some shut-eye." says Shawn.

"Well, go sleep somewhere else, I need to practice my drums." says Julian.

"Ya wanna tussle?!" yells Shawn.

"I always want to tussle." says Julian calmly.

"Aw, you're asking for it, bub!" yells Shawn. He jumps onto Julian, angrily. Julian throws a drumstick at his head, knocking him unconscious.

"That will teach you not to mess with my drums." says Julian, and he continues to bang on them.

Quincy comes in. "You have just knocked my experiment off the table with your ambient noise. That experiment is radioactive and could kill us all."

"..." says Julian. "I'm such an idiot."

"Yes, you are. Now, why don't you help me clean it up?" scolds Quincy.

"Sure, anything for a good teammate." says Julian.

Quincy says in the confessional, "That guy hates me, I know it. I'm trying to be nice to him to get farther in the game."

Julian touches one of the remnants of Quincy's experiment, and shrinks down to the size of a child's toy.

"What the crap? I'm puny!" says Julian, in a chipmunk-like voice.

"You should have worn gloves to pick up the remnants." says Quincy.

"Nooooo!" says Julian. Quincy picks him up and stuffs him in his pants pocket.

Shawn regains consciousness. "Where did Julian go?"

"Oh, he just shrunk a little. He will be fine, don't fret." says Quincy.

Milo and Keenan come downstairs. Keenan seems to be arguing.

"I just don't get how you can be a fish. It makes no sense whatsoever." says Keenan.

"Well, I was a fish, so get your undies out of a twist." scolds Milo.

"And who's this Steve Jackson guy? He seems like a pretty boy." says Keenan.

"He is not pretty, he is a beautiful." says Milo.

"More beautiful than Estrella, Julian? Hm? Hm?" says Shawn annoyingly.

"Shut up, Shawn." says Julian from Quincy's pocket.

Yuri falls through the ceiling. "I'm here! Did ya guys miss me? I'm working on my new pairing."

"Uh, what new pairing?" asks Keenan dubiously.

"Tolkien and Oz, from the other team! Eee, they're so cute together!" says Yuri.

"Well, if that keeps her from obsessing over 'Julawn', then I'm happy." says Julian in his little squeaky voice.

"Aww, who's that? Is Julian tiny?" asks Yuri.

"Yes, I am tiny. So shut up, or else I'll punch you." says Julian.

"But punching wouldn't seem like anything more than a flea breathing on you." says Shawn.

"Come on, dude, I'm just trying to be cool." says Julian.

Keenan says in the confessional, "I can pretty much tell that nobody likes me. Maybe I should just quit..."

The Fish Tails are hanging out in their dorms, too.

"Roz, what exactly are you doing?" asks Ari.

"Oh, nothing. Just creeping on Mr. Chapman." says Roz.

"Mr. Chapman... I've heard that name before. Do you perhaps know a Zari Arbinian?" asks Ari.

"Yes, I do. She's like my best friend. We creep on Chappy and make weird videos." says Roz.

"She sounds pleasant. I saw her in this one show..." says Ari.

"Ooh, yeah, Shadowgwen's story." says Roz.

"Uh-oh..." says Ari, looking at her phone. "I got a text..."

"Who's it from?" Roz steals the phone and looks. "Who's Brendan Kissmyarse? Nice name there."

"My stupid stepbrother... What did he write?" asks Ari.

"He said--" says Roz. "Oh, wow. How old is this kid?"

"Eight." says Ari. Roz faints, and Ari looks at the text and groans.

"That's kind of disturbing, y'all. I wonder about your brotha' sometimes." says Bess.

"Ugh, please, you should meet my sister's friends. They like to blow things up." says Valencia.

"That's pleasant. You guys are quite an interesting team." says Estrella.

"I got arrested a few weeks ago, it wasn't fun." says Roz.

"Hey, what do you suppose Tolkien is doing right now?" asks Ari. "Not like I care. Just wondering."

Tolkien is upstairs, playing Luncheons and Laggins with Oz.

"I won again. For the 69th time. Can we stop playing now? It's getting, like, boring." says Oz.

"All right, man, want to hear about The Book?" asks Tolkien.

"What book?" asks Oz warily. "Do I want to know?"

"Oh, sure. It's not that bad." says Tolkien.

"Come at me, like, bro." says Oz.

"Well, when I was three, I went into my dad's room, and I saw a book. I read it, and it had..." says Tolkien.

"It had what? Come on, like, I wanna know." says Oz.

"It had..." says Tolkien. "Let's just say the people did not exactly have that many things on. Nothing, actually."

Oz pukes in a trash can. "Why would you look at that? And why would your dad have that?"

"Because ever since my parents divorced, my dad has been looking up twenty year old girls on HeadNovel." says Tolkien.

"And then what does he do with them?" asks Oz.

"He invites them over to his house, and locks them in his room. Then, I don't know what happens after that, and I don't think I want to. But sometimes when I'm home alone, I hear screaming noises in the closet." says Tolkien.

"..." says Oz. "Why did your dad divorce your mom?"

"The other way around. She's ten years younger." says Tolkien. "Mom's thirty-five, dad's fifty."

"Uh, that's, like, fifteen." says Oz. "Learn to count."

"You know, you don't have to be so snide. I used to worship you, but you've gotten really annoying lately." says Tolkien.

"You wanna see snide? Go upstairs." says Oz.

"Ohhh, no. I'm not going back into Bart's room. He basically killed us last time, remember?" says Tolkien.

"I'll give you this twenty dollar bill if you go up there and do something." says Oz,

"Do what kind of something?" says Tolkien suspiciously.

"Uh..." says Oz. He whispers something into Tolkien's ear.

"No way, I'm not doing that." says Tolkien.

Oz holds up the dollars. "Twenty dollars... Do it, like, now."

Tolkien scoffs, and tiptoes up the stairs. He is blocked by Horatio.

"If I were you, man, I wouldn't do that." says Horatio.

"Oz is bribing me with a twenty dollar bill." says Tolkien. "He told me to stuff my best L&L card in Bart's mouth."

"Dude, do you know how much those things cost? And I don't think Bart has brushed his teeth. Ever." says Horatio.

"I don't care. I'm doing it. I could buy a new one with twenty bucks." says Tolkien.

He pushes Horatio to the side and goes into Bart's room.

Bart is asleep on the ground. Tolkien puts the card into his mouth, then leaves.

Bart wakes up. "What's in my mouth?"

Oz yells from downstairs. "Tolkien did it, come and get him!"

"Oz, you idiot!" say Tolkien and Horatio simultaneously.

"TOLKIEN, YOU LITTLE--" screams Bart. He swoops from down the stairs and grabs Tolkien.

"Here we go again..." says Horatio.

Chris then comes in, intervening. "Bart, seriously, again? Next time, you're eliminated. Let's go, time for the challenge."

"F**k you, Chris." says Bart, and he walks away. Tolkien and the others follow him.

At a traditional Japanese theater, Chris says, "So, who's seen Take a Skit from last season?"

Everyone raises their hands, except Bess and Oz. "I didn't watch last season, it, like, sucked." says Oz.

"I don't even have a TV, y'all." says Bess.

"Anyways, since the producers are lazy and don't want to do a Japanese challenge, you guys are gonna do another Take a Skit. You know the rules, right?" says Chris.

"Yup, it sure is easy last time I checked." says Quincy.

"But this time, you have to advertise Chef's new product, exploding donuts." says Chris.

"Quincy, you idiot, you jinxed it!" says Milo. He punches Quincy in the groin.

"Hey, man, cool your jets." says Quincy.

"Which boy would you rather date?" asks Christina jokingly. Layla scoffs.

"All right, be ready in twenty." Chris leaves.

"Ooh, guys, I have a really spectacular idea." says Tolkien.

"What is it? Does it involve blowing things up? If so, I'm in." says Roz.

"No, we all set up a big party thing and perform TGIF, Kathy Beth Terry's new song." says Tolkien.

"Uh, that song's okay... I had a sleepover with my friends in the middle of the woods at camp, and in the middle of the night, we blasted that song real loud... Even though it was only a Thursday. Haha." says Ari.

"So, yeah, we're doing the Last Friday Night thing. Who wants to be who?" says Tolkien.

"Uncle Kenny, right here." says Horatio. "Since I'm the only one who plays the sax."

"All right, sounds good. Who wants to be Kathy's parents?" says Tolkien.

"Like, me and Roz, man." says Oz. Roz stares at him. "All right, but you're the woman." she says.

"Tolkien, you can be the stupid nerd. I'm gonna be the buff jock guy who all the girls swarm over." says Bart.

"What can I do?" says Bess. Valencia nods, and Estrella shakes her head.

"Bess and Valencia, you can do lighting, Estrella, you can sit around and make snide comments at people." says Tolkien.

"Perrrrrrfect." purrs Estrella dryly.

"Oh, wait, we need Hanson. Let's just get some interns." says Tolkien.

"We also need a Rebecca Black..." mumbles Ari. "What?" asks Roz. "Nothing." says Ari.

"That's right, we need a Rebecca Black! But who can it be?" says Tolkien.

The door then busts open. A figure with a gigantic mop of hair, flamboyant clothes, and large, fake breasts steps out.

"Sorry I'm late, darlings." the person says. They move closer, and they are revealed to be Vincent in drag.

"OMG, Vincent?! You're here! How did you come all the way to Tokyo?" says Roz excitedly.

"Y'know, mate, Australia isn't that far away. I just ran across the water, with help from Dolph." says Vincent.

A light from the ceiling crashes down onto Vincent's head, and he is flattened.

"Sorry!" yells Isabel from above. Layla slaps her.

"So, now our star is flattened. What are we supposed to do?" asks Tolkien. "You know, I might just dress up in a giant banana suit."

On the other team, Layla is fixing the lights. Isabel tries to touch the light, but Layla slaps her again.

"Layla, you should try being nice. Isabel is becoming your replacement for Charles while he's doing who knows what." says Christina.

Charles is in the United States, at a McDonald's.

"I will have a large McBurger and a medium McMountain Dew for 20 McBucks." says Charles.

"Uh, sir, you don't have to put 'Mc' in front of everything." says the cashier.

"Well, McIdiot, why don't you go McDie in a McHole." says Charles.

"Gee, how rude, Why are you even here, anways? You look rich, you don't need to be eating at Mickey D's." says the cashier.

"I am not rich, I am a slave to a McRich Person." says Charles, and he sighs.

The cashier takes out a phone and calls the cops, who come in on a plane and stuff Charles into it.

"Where are you McTaking me?" asks Charles. "I need to get back to my McMaster."

"No, you're doing some time, bub. Chuck, let's take him to solitary confinement." says the policeman.

"Damn right." says the other policeman. They get into the plane and fly away.

The McDonald's cashier pops some aspirin into his mouth. "Am I seeing things?"

Back in Tokyo, in the Japanese theater, Chris is in the stands. He blows a whistle, and a girl comes in. She is then revealed to be Cammy, and she says, "Chris, I'm judging the plays, right? Ah, memories."

"Yup, Cammy, Why don't you just sit down, and the Jowls will be ready any minute." says Chris.

The curtain rises, and the Jowls appear at a beach setting. Julian is finally back to his normal height, and is wearing sunglasses, and leopard print trunks. He has no shirt on, and is surrounded by Milo and Shawn, who have cardboard boxes on their heads.

"Yeah." says Julian. "Yeah. When I walk on by, girls be lookin' like damn he fly. I pimp to the beat, walking down the street in my new lafreak, yeah. This is how I roll..."

"This is disgusting." whispers Cammy.

"Just watch it, dude. It'll get better." says Chris.

Julian then rips off his trunks, revealing an extremely tight Speedo. "All right, that's only cool when I see Trick like that. Julian's not even athletic." says Cammy.

"Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah, yeah." sings Julian, wiggling back and forth so his groin flops around.

Cammy takes off Chris' shirt, barfs in it, and gives it back.

"I'm sexy and I know it." says Julian. The other boys, who are also in Speedos, bow.

"That was disgusting. Let's see the other team." says Cammy.

Tolkien comes out. "Due to technical difficulties, our star will not be able to perform tonight. I hope we can go on without him, or her, or whatever it is."

"All right, then, looks like you guys automatically lose." says Chris.

"Is it just me, or did that happen just because the author is way too lazy to write another song parody, and hasn't come out with a new chapter in weeks because he's busy making people lose the game and drawing characters for Shadowgwen, and he wants to come out with the new chapter as soon as possible?" asks Cammy.

"I think it's just you. Now, Fish Tails, since you lost, it's time to have a fun little restaurant date." says Chris.

"Wait, but they lost. Why do they get to go to a restaurant?" asks Keenan.

"It's not a very normal restaurant. Now, four people get to go. This is a double date." says Chris.

"Me and Ari!" says Tolkien loudly. Ari stares at him, worriedly. "I guess I'll go, with Horatio." says Valencia. Horatio grins.

The four are at the Japanese restaurant. Horatio is sipping some whiskey.

"Hey, aren't you a little bit young to be drinking whiskey?" asks Valencia.

"Yes. Yes, I am." says Horatio.

The waiter comes. "What would you like?" says the subtitles while he speaks in Japanese.

"Uhhh, let's just get a big tray of sushi." says Ari.

"I want BiBimBap." says Tolkien.

"All right, BiBimBap and a giant tray of sushi coming right up." reads the subtitles.

The waiter walks away. Ari is trying to start a conversation. "So, guys, what's your favorite singer?"

"Myself. Even though I only play sax." says Horatio.

"The Screaming Severed Heads." says Valencia.

"Never heard of them... I like Fricki Maraj." says Ari.

"Guys, sorry, but I gotta go take a wazz. I'll be back soon." says Tolkien.

"Ya better hurry. Our dinner is almost ready." says Valencia.

Tolkien shakes his head and walks down the dark corridor leading to the bathroom. He enters the bathroom and finds a large statue of a man wearing nothing but underwear holding up two urinals with a yoke, and a urinal shaped like a mouth.

"I'll take the mouth." says Tolkien. He walks past the giant statue, shuddering.

He unzips his pants, and a statue suddenly comes out of the mouth. It begins to sway back and forth, along with the mouth. It makes an eerie laughing noise.

"What the crap?!" says Tolkien while trying to sway with the music to avoid peeing on the floor.

The head of the statue spins round and round and begins to cackle. Then, it takes a camera out somehow. There is a flash, and Tolkien has his picture taken.

"You better not post that on the web. Do you hear me?" he says to the head, which just cackles. "I still need to whiz, time to use you, underwear-boy."

Tolkien moves towards the giant with two urinals. Each one moves up and down, and the giant utters a noise. "Oooooohhhhhh."

"This is the most disturbing restaurant I've ever been to." says Tolkien while peeing.

The giant says something in Japanese somehow. The caption reads, "That's a nice one you've got there!"

Tolkien groans. "You know, the mystical Ishina tribe from L&L can speak Japanese. I can understand you perfectly. I'm gonna use a stall." he says angrily.

Back outside, the other three are eating their food. "Hey, where's Tolkien? It's been like twenty minutes." says Horatio.

"Aww, I knew this was gonna turn out bad..." says Ari sadly. "I wish Roz was here. Then it'd be decent."

"Don't worry, girl. He'll be back soon, and everything will turn out fine." says Valencia.

Tolkien is finally in a normal bathroom stall. "I wonder what they're doing out there? Maybe I should go." he says to himself.

"No." says the statue. "You must embrace your watery being."

"I don't have a clue about what you just said. I'm out of this scary bathroom." says Tolkien.

He then leaves, and goes back out to the dinner table. When he arrives, the other three clap happily.

"What took you so long, guy?" asks Horatio. "Your BiBimBap is getting cold."

"You know, Horatio, you'd look hotter if you took off your sunglasses and fedora." says Valencia.

"Uh, is that a compliment?" asks Horatio. "You seem suspicious."

"No, babe. You know, you're the first guy I've been on a date with who hasn't gotten arrested." says Valencia.

"Uh, actually..." says Horatio. He thinks about the Catalina Wine Mixer, then says, "You're right."

The Japanese waiter then comes to their table. "How is everyone doing?" reads the subtitle. "Would you like a refill?" He points to Tolkien, whose glass of Orange Crushment is empty.

"Mmmrpht schmrpt." says Tolkien, whose mouth is stuffed full of sushi.

"Who would like a dessert menu?" asks the waiter. "Today's special is get me out of this stupid restaurant, I mean, mochi."

"No, thanks. This dinner has been pretty eventful, let's just go." says Tolkien, whose mouth is no longer full.

"Wait. You have to pay." says the waiter.

"Pay?" asks Valencia nervously.

"Yes, this is not a free dinner, you idiot. Pay or we will arrest you." says the waiter.

"Come on, boys!" yells Valencia. Horatio knocks out the waiter, and the four leap away and back to the dorm.

Back in the dorm, Tolkien, Ari, Oz and Roz are watching a movie. Tolkien says, "Hey, sorry for that dinner, and the bathroom, and... Just sorry."

"It was fine, I guess." says Ari sweetly. Roz whispers something to her and she giggles.

Tolkien says in the confessional, "Now is the perfect timing. Come on, Tolkien, if you do this, you're a man."

Tolkien contemplates. He then yawns, stretching his arms out and putting one around Ari.

Ari reacts. "Hey Tolkien, whatcha doing there? Not like I mind it. It was just kinda shocking... I mean, whatever. I hope you're not romantically interested... Never mind."

Roz is giggling. "It's not funny." says Ari. "It kind of is." says Roz.

Ari says in the confessional, "I'm not wanting to date during the game, I don't wanna end up like that blond skater guy and that nerd from last season. Plus, Tolkien is kinda awkward... I know, I'm one to talk. But yeah, his cousin, Kavren, was cuter, even though he has a GF. If you're watching this, Abbey, you're weird..."

Abbey is babysitting some girl. She turns on the TV and sees Ari's monologue. "Hey, that's my sister." says the girl Abbey is babysitting. Abbey groans.

Chris goes into the cabin. "Time to go and vote someone out, folks."

Roz says in the confessional, "So, it's time to vote someone out? I vote Mr. Chapman. He's been pissing me off lately."

Bart says in the confessional, "Everyone on this team can go die in a hole. I vote for Bess, she's the worst of the lot."

Chris is at the elimination ceremony. "All right, I thought you guys were gonna go on a winning streak. You seemed like the team with all the fan faves, but no. All right, the first sushi goes to Ari." Ari giggles and catches her sushi.

"Roz, Oz, and Tolkien." The three get their sushi. Oz and Tolkien fist bump, while Roz models the sushi into Mr. Chapman and stomps on it. She then licks the remnants off the ground.

"Horatio and Valencia, you're safe too." Valencia makes a seductive purring noise at Horatio, who gets his sushi and grins.

"So is Estrella." says Chris. "Damn right." says Estrella rudely.

"All right. It's down to Bart, Bess, and..." says Chris. "Mr. Chapman."

"What did I miss?" says an old man who resembles Santa, but is shorter and doesn't have as long of a white beard. Chris tosses the sushi to him, and he leaves, confused.

"Bart and Bess. The final sushi goes to..."

"Bart." says Chris. Bart flips off his team, and the others are shocked.

"But I didn' thank anybuddy woul' vote fo' me, y'all!" says Bess. "Why?"

"Well, it was a unanimous vote against Bart, but his attempts to kill Tolkien and Oz cause drama, so we switched the votes to you." says Chris. "Which is a nice way of saying that the producers found farm characters bland."

Bess, who is obviously hurt, walks to the Insert-Vehicle-Here of Losers. Her cow, Bessie, farts on Bart and moos.

"All right! Who will be the next voted out? Will the Jowls get any more spotlight? Tune in next time on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"

Elimination Table

 * 1 - Bart was supposed to be eliminated, but Bess was eliminated instead, when Bart switched the votes.

Trivia
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
 * I was originally going to do an all star story after Total Drama Revolution. However, I thought of some good ideas and a setting.
 * Tokyo was originally the setting of Total Drama Revolution.
 * Estrella's intro reminded me a lot of Helga's whole character. I try to make them differ somewhat.
 * I realized Anderson's pants looked feminine, so I decided to make them female pants.
 * Layla A. Knee is an obvious reference to Lalainee.
 * Orange Crushment and Mountain Fizz are parodies of Orange Crush and Mountain Dew. uPod is a parody of iPod. Woman GooGoo and Bruno Jupiter are parodies of Lady GaGa and Bruno Mars.
 * Luncheons and Laggins is a parody of Dungeons and Dragons. Majyk: The Meeting is a parody of Magic: The Gathering.
 * Shawn's full name is a reference to singer Akon's real name.
 * "TNWPJS" means That's Not What PJ Said, a way for people to say "..." without being told "PJ".
 * Kavren and Dolph cameo.
 * Layla's many cousins are mostly references to other media and fanfictions, plus stereotypical "rich kid" names. See if you can find the references.
 * 'That Twinklefog Chick' is Holly.
 * Shawn's girlfriend on another show is Linda from Total Drama Danger.
 * The strange French music that plays is "Elle me dit" by Mika.
 * Monty Cobra is a reference to Monty Python. The song, 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' is from Monty Python.
 * Yasmin was eliminated for plot reasons, and I found her annoying to write for. Plus, I had another contestant who said "like" addictively.