User blog:Rhonda the stalker fan!/Total Drama School Reimagining

So this was written awhile ago, and meant to be posted too. It's the first chapter of Total Drama School written by me based on a weird dream I had. This is kind of like the dream, except it ended with everyone singing Scream and Shout. XD So just read to enjoy, and see if you can spot references to other Toad stories ;)

Chapter 1
A seemly abandoned high school is shown. A cough is heard. The camera view turns around to see Chris McLean standing outside of the school’s gates.

“Hello viewers,” Chris states. “And welcome to Total Drama…School! I’m your host Chris McLean. You probably know me from my cult classic Badminton film series. I’m also the host of Total Drama, where take teens compete for 1,000,000 dollars and extreme fame! We’ve had teens compete from everywhere, from the wilderness, to in movies to all over the world, but now we’re competing in the one place where teen drama is always. School.”

The scene changes into the inside of the school, in a hallway.

“Our competitors will competing and living in this school, Toadstool High,” Chris states. “Former home of the Whales Sports Team, the school was closed for being built in the middle of a radioactive forest. Which makes it a perfect place for our students to compete! But before we go any farther let us meet those students…”

Chris returns to outside of the school. A large screechy noise is heard.

“Ah that must be the first bus,” Chris states. “Now its time to meet the first of our students.”

A pretty, blonde girl with a pointy chin steps off the bus.

“Hello Amanda,” Chris states. “Excited to be on the show?”

“Well I’d prefer Survivor,” Amanda states. “I’m so much like Parvati Shallow. But I belong on TV, so I might as well start here. …Where are the other competitors?”

“You’re the first to arrive,” the host replies.

“Well first is the best,” the mean girl states smirking.

“Well the saying goes first is the worst,” Chris states. “Then second is the best, then third is the one with the hairy chest. Or the treasure chest. Or polka dot dress. Or the rest. Or…"

“Um does it look like I care about numbers?” Amanda asks.

“Well I was just sayin…” The host tries to say.

“I said, does it look like I give a **** about numbers?” Amanda asks as she grabs the host by the collar.

Chris shakes his head no.

“The shut the f*** up,” Amanda replies letting the host go and fixing her hair.

Then another bus pulls, dropping off a short boy, who seems to be asleep.

“Welcome Alex,” Chris states. “Alex…Alex!”

“ZZZZZZZZZ,” Alex snores.

“…Can I just have the money now?” Amanda asks.

“As much as I want to I’m not allowed to by contract,” Chris replies.

Another screeching noise is heard as the bus drops of an obese Asian.

“Num, num,” The fat boy replies stuffing his face with chips.

“Welcome Rick,” Chris states.

Rick replies with the middle finger.

“Ewe fat people,” Amanda states. “They are totes gross! Please let there be no more fatty patties on this show.”

Another bus then pulls up, dropping off a somewhat obese girl with her nose in a book.

“Dang it!” Amanda shouts.

“Welcome Helga,” Chris states. “How is the book you’re reading?”

“Intelligent,” Helga replies not looking up from her book. “You should try it sometime.”

Amanda rolls her eyes.

>“Can I help you needle chin?” Helga asks.

“I’m just disgusted by our appearance,” Amanda admits. “I have one word for you; diet. You should try it.”

“So should you,” the bookworm states.

“Excuse me?” the pretty (awful) girl asks. “How do you think I got so thin?”

“With a finger down your throat,” Helga replies

Amanda scoffs and replies, “You little…”

The mean girl is interrupted by the sound of a bus screeching to a stop. Out pops a short nerdy guy.

“And here comes our token nerd,” Chris states. “Welcome Gary. How exciting is it to be on TV?”

“Its OVER 9000!” Gary shouts.

“I had a feeling you’d say that,” the host replies.

“Wonder why, not like its on his T-shirt,” Helga states.

Then another bus pulls up dropping off a redheaded girl.

“Hiiiiiiiiieeeee!” The girl exclaims. “I’m Veronica. What’s up?”

“The sky,” Helga sarcastically replies.

“It totes is up!” Veronica replies.

The redhead looks at Amanda and rushes towards her, exclaiming, “Where did you get that shirt?”

“Rue 21,” the mean girl replies slightly annoyed.

“No way!” the follower replies. “You are so cool!”

“Duh,” Amanda replies.

“We should totes be bffles?” Veronica states grabbing Amanda in an embrace. The mean girl rolls her eyes at this.

Suddenly a honking noise is heard as a bus rushes forward…in flames. The bus explodes and out from it fires an extremely tall and pale girl.

“What happened to my bus?” The host asks.

“I got bored,” the girl replies.

“And the driver?” Chris asks.

The girl darts her eyes back and forth.

“…Eh,” Chris replies with a shrug of shoulders. “Welcome Sharissa!”

“Chris,” Sharissa replies. “I heard you’ve made this cast majorly of Americanos. Well I’m here to represent both my cousin Izzy and Canada! Home of national treasures like the Mounties and Canadian bacon!”

“That’s just ham,” Helga states dryly.

“Wait you and Izzy are cousins?” Gary asks.

"That’s what I just said!” Sharissa shouts in reply.

“But you look nothing alike,” Gary replies.

“Um we were both adopted by prairie dog tribes and those prairie dog tribes are related so yeah that is how we are related!” Sharissa shouts.

Alex yawns and wakes up, saying, “Did I miss anything?”

“Nothing interesting,” Rick replies stuffing a candy bar in his face.

“That’s how viewers are describing this show,” the bookworm states.

Sharissa looks over at Alex and squeals and pounces on the small boy.

“Where have you been all my life?” Sharissa asks.

“In the United States,” Alex replies.

“Huh…I guess America did make something good for once,” Sharissa states.

Chris laughs saying to the audience, “Isn’t this cast great?”

“No,” the bookworm retorts.

A bus pulls up and drops off a brunette boy in a green shirt.

“Carson,” the host beckons. “How was your ride here?”

“Great,” Carson replies. “I thought of a new joke, wanna hear?”

“Well I don’t…” Chris tries to say.

“Ok, so, what did the hurricane say to the palm tree?” Carson interrupts.

“What?” Chris asks.

“Hold on to your nuts!” Carson says laughing.

Only Alex snickers.

“That was so lame!” Amanda shouts.

Carson turns to see who is calling him and stares at Amanda.

“Hello Nurse!” the funny boy replies love struck, as he zips to Amanda like the roadrunner.

“Did you just fart?” Carson asks her grabbing her hand. “Because you just blew me away!”

“Ew,” the mean girl states in disgust. “I don’t fart!”

“Sorry that was probably me,” Rick states while eating fried chicken.

“On a scale of one to one hundred what is your maturity level?” Amanda asks.

“69,” Carson replies smirking.

Amanda face palms and says, “I just had to ask…”

“No you didn’t,” Carson replies.

Before Amanda can reply, another bus screeches to a stop.

“Ah and lets see who our next interesting contestant is,” Chris states.

The bus drops off a blue haired short girl.

“I said interesting not Emilee,” Chris states angrily.

“I’m interesting!” Emilee states. “I’m like Gossip Girl interesting!”

“NO LIKES YOU!” Chris shouts. “You’re just here to be an early out.”

“People like me,” Emilee replies. “I’m like the most likeable person here!”

“You look like melted crayons in a car,” Amanda states as Veronica brushes her hair.

“Yeah, and like the knock off brand crayons,” the follower states.

“You’re just jealous of my amazing hair,” Emilee states. “Blue with gray streaks! Totally more creative than anything any of you could come up with! I’m probably the only one with colored hair even here!”

“SHUT UP!” Sharissa yells throwing a shoe at her. “My purple hair is better than yo cheap weave!”

“Why did you throw my shoe?” Alex asks.

“So I can smell your feet!” the crazy chick replies enthusiastically.

“Well while you’re down there at least give me a foot rub,” the lazy boy states lying down nonchalantly.

“I’m like Katy Perry pretty!” Emilee shouts. “And I don’t look like melted crayons.”

“I don’t think you look like melted crayons,” Gary states.

“Really?” Emilee asks.

“Well a little,” the nerdy replies. “But you look like Freeza from Dragon Ball Z. He tried to kill Goku but he couldn’t cause Goku is….OVER 9000!”

Another bus pulls up bumping up and down, with loud music playing high. Out pops up a short rapper with pants way too low.

“Yo, yo!” the ‘rapper’ shouts. “Big D in the house!”

“I hope that isn’t a nickname for what I think it,” Helga states disgusted.

“Welcome Devin,” Chris states.

“Yo Chris how’s chillin?” the jive turkey replies. “Whoa…see the shorties are already here! Hello foxy babe!”

“Hi!” Emilee replies.

“Move out the way, little boy,” Devin shouts pushing Emilee down and rushing to Amanda.

“Ewe I smell poser,” Amanda states, as Devin gets closer to her.

“I smell suave shampoo!” Veronica states as she sniffs her own hair.

“I smell FEET!” Sharissa states as she massages Alex’s feet.

“Back off,” Carson states. “She’s with me.”

“Um, heck no,” Amanda states.

“Yo I respect that,” Devin replies. “Give props when they’re do yo. We chill?”

“For sure!” Carson replies fist bumping the jive turkey.

Chris clears his throat and states, “I’ve just been informed that our next contestant has jogged here and is arriving. So please welcome, Meg!”

The contestants turn to see a tall blonde girl in a sweatshirt and sweatpants run up to them.

Gary gasps at the girl as his glasses fog up.

“She’s like Samus Aran and Princess Peach as one,” Gary says almost drooling.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Amanda replies laughing. “Someone is stupid enough to wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt on live TV? Ha! Where did she even get a cheap pair like that, a thrift store?”

“I love that song!” Carson shouts.”

“Me too!” Veronica states.

Me three yo!” Devin states.

“Me four,” Alex replies.

“I love you,” Sharissa whispers in his ear.

Meg turns to look at who gave her that comment and gasps.

“YOU!” Meg shouts pointing.

“Yeah…” Amanda asks confusing.

“It’s you,” Meg states. “Amanda…how interesting to see you again!”

"Who are you again?” the mean girl asks.

“Meg, we were in the first grade together,” the jockette replies annoyed.

“Um I think I would remember someone as ugly as you,” Amanda replies staring at her manicured hands.

“You stepped on my toe!” Meg shouts.

“I’ve stepped on a lot of toes,” Amanda says. “Now if you could please leave your musky smell is hurting my eyes.”

Amanda walks off with her posse following her. Meg glares at her.

“Um hi,” Gary says from behind the jogger. “I’m um…”

Meg doesn’t hear Gary and turns around and bumps into him.

“Oh sorry,” Meg states as she hands the boy his glasses. “I was just steamed. I’m Meg. And you are?”

Gary breathes heavily and starts muttering.

“Um…are you ok?” Meg asks raising an eyebrow. Finally, the last bus pulls up and off steps a tall blonde jock in a green jersey.

“Wooooh!” he shouts as he pulls his shirt off and spins it around.

“And here is our last contestant, Kurt,” Chris states.

“Sup Chris, I’m ready for a challenge!” Kurt shouts.

“Hey,” Meg greets Kurt as she leaves Gary. “I see there is another jock here. You a sports lover too huh?”

“You know it!” Kurt says giving a flirty smile. “You a football fan?”

Meg giggles and replies, “You know it! Go New England Patriots!”

“What?” Kurt asks. “The Patriots suck! Everyone knows the Philadelphia Eagles rule!”

“Someone clearly forgot when the Patriots whooped the Eagles butts in the super bowl!” Meg replies.

“The refs made a bad call!” Kurt states, getting in Meg’s face.

“The only bad call the refs made was allowing quarter back Donvovan McNabb’s thirty yard touch down pass to receiver Greg Lewis!” Meg shouts getting closer to Kurt’s face.

“Um…you do realize you two are arguing about a Super Bowl from 2005 right?” Chris asks.

“YES!” the two jocks shout glaring at each other.

“Just making sure,” Chris says putting his hands up in protest. “Anyway, we need to move on. So you twelve will be the students here at Toadstool High!”

“Wait, you mean out of all the exotic locations you could’ve had us compete, you chose a school?” Amanda asks. “Ugh, why can’t we be competing somewhere cool like a tropical island, or a big city, or Tokyo!”

“Anyway,” Chris states. “Let’s kick this thing off by forming teams! When I call your name please step to the left of me. Now the first team will be…Meg, Gary…”

Meg jocks forward and Gary awkwardly follows her.

“Oh, so your name is Gary?” Meg asks.

“…OVER 9000!” Gary blurts awkwardly.

“…Ricky, Helga…” Chris continues.

“Good, put the fatty patties on the same team,” Amanda mumbles flipping her hair.

“And…Sharissa and Alex.”

“Zzzzzzzzz…” Alex murmurs in deep sleep.

“Could someone please wake this kid up?” Chris asks.

“I got this!” Sharissa states. She pours a large bucket of liquid on Alex.

“Ah!” Alex screams. “You didn’t have to pour water on me.”

“That wasn’t water,” Sharissa states.

“…What was it?” Alex asks sniffing himself.

“I have to mark my territory so the other chicks don’t try and take my stuff!” Sharissa screams. “HE’S MINE!”

“So you six will be known as…The Killer Apples!” Chris announces. “I came up with the name myself.”

“It shows,” Helga retorts.

“As for the rest of you,” Chris says turning to face the other contestants. “Carson, Veronica, Kurt, Amanda, Emilee and Devin, you are the Screaming Rulers! I came up with that one too.”

“Whoa,adding killer and screaming to something, creative,” Helga states dryly.

“Anyway, you’ll be staying at this school competing in challenges based on different school courses,” Chris states.

“I hope there’s one on Sex-Ed dawg,” Devin whispers to Carson, who snickers.

“In between challenges or ‘classes’ you’ll be staying in dorms, which are co-ed,” Chris explains.

Carson winks at Amanda who slaps him.

“You’ll also eat food prepared by our very own Chef!” Chris states.

“Where is Chef?” Meg asks.

“Probably dress-shopping,” Chris replies. “He didn’t have a lunch lady costume. You can also use the confessional, which is in the guidance counselor room!”

Confessional (Meg): “I feel really lucky. I got to avoid being on a team with Amanda and that stupid jock. But I can’t let them get me down. I’ve just got to do well on my team now. Maybe I should make an alliance…”

Confessional (Carson): “Wanna hear a joke? What does the boy say to the girl who asked, “Hey what’s up?” …If I tell you will you sit…”

Confessional (Veronica): “Amanda and me are gonna be bffs forever! We’re gonna make the final 2 together and she’ll never ever use me and stab me in the back to get ahead!”

Confessional (Amanda): “Vicky? I’m obviously going to use her and stab her in the back to get ahead. Duh! But that can wait. First I have to get rid of some these nerds on my team. Like Carson. The day I like him is the day unicorns or the Nyan Cat is real. At least crazy jock girl isn’t here. She’s uglier than a Klingon…not that I know what that even is! I just know that it’s nerdy, like her!”

Confessional (Gary): “Man, Meg is beautiful. And she seems really nice. …Do you think I have a chance?”

Confessional (Kurt): “That Meg chick is an idiot…but hot. She totally wants me. I mean who else would she go for…Gary? Ha, I don’t think even has a chance.”

Confessional (Sharissa): Man Alex is hot. He’s like Keanu Reeves mixed with Dustin Believer hot! Mmm…I’d take him with a side of Canadian bacon!”

Confessional (Alex): Sharissa? Eh. She said she would carry me places, which means less walking, so I guess she’s cool. Though she did try to cut off one of my toes…and fart on me…”

“That’s enough confessional scenes,” Chris states. “So what will our contestants face in school? Who will hook up and who will luck out? Find out next time on…Total Drama School!”