User blog:TraceyOnceKnown/From CrystalNeonSummerSnow to TraceyOnceKnown: Major Update! :D

So, umm...hi? xD

As a lot of you have seen in the title of this blog (as well as on my profile page), I was once a familiar name on this wiki, who was referred to as CrystalNeonSummerSnow, otherwise known as Crystal. I abandoned the wiki for a year because of mental health issues (had some really bad depressive episodes), and I will explain that more in a New Year's blog. However, I'll summarize what's going on in my head in three bullet points: So, yeah, it's been a strenuous year for me, my friends, and my family. Oh, what happened this year? Well, I'll summarize that, too! So, yeah. Not that great a year, but while I was up all night writing fanfics and downing Coke Zero by the minute, I looked at my old account and realized something: I miss this place. I really miss my friends and the fics on this website. I'm not sure if I'll delete the CNSS page or not yet. It'll probably get deleted eventually since I've moved onto a new account for a fresh start, but I probably won't be the one to do it. Idk, even though the majority of my fics (and my attitude, in some ways) were abhorrent, it's still a nostalgic memory because if I didn't start there, I wouldn't be here. :)
 * was diagnosed with Aspergers at age four
 * was diagnosed with PTSD at age fifteen
 * was recently diagnosed (but also wanting confirmation from my new therapist, too) with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder (BPD) at age seventeen
 * January: depressive episode hits; romantic relationship begins to go down the shitter
 * February: breaks up with BF; two close friends (who are brother and sister) start acting really shady around me; someone I care about kills my now AP Bio teacher's pet fish; fights with parents (Mom, particularly) get worse, works out a suicide plan
 * March: is hospitalized for my suicidal thoughts; is put on Lexapro; immediately lapses into a manic episode for about two months onward once the medicine kicked in; hastily gets into a relationship with a male patient; comes out as bi to my parents with a slighlty biased reaction (Mom thought I was gonna start dressing as a boy, Dad thought I was gonna be promiscuous)
 * April: mental hospital BF starts to obsessively call me after dumping me for not wanting to have sex with him; therapist starts to become more judgemental (saying that I don't know if I'm bi since I'm a virgin, saying that even though he was pressuring/cornering me into talking to him, I was asking for it, et cetera); Friend One continues to make horrible jokes about me even when knowing about my mental hospital experience
 * May: Aunt Bevy, who was once my favorite aunt, visits and makes very horrible remarks about me (says that being bisexual is "the Devil's playground" and that God won't be there for me anymore, openly told a random stranger with bipolar disorder about my experiences, and lied/exaggerated my dark intersts to my parents by saying I'm closer and closer to hurting someone); my parents ground me from all my favorite stuff, which are dark, rather than talk to me about what Bevy said first; Bevy keeps showing up, acting like what she said/did was in the right; my AP Bio teacher starts acting rude towards me all because of what that boy did; briefly dates someone online who is very cynical and cold (didn't really realize it at the time) for about a month
 * June: parents continues my "darkness diet", which Mom telling me to never tell my therapist of my suicidal thoughts because I'll be sent back to the hosptial and Dad telling me to just get over my depression; starts to self-harm a lot more again because of all the anger building up; struggled with suicidal thoughts with little to no help from parents; Mom yells at me for being depressed, saying that I'm ungrateful and complaining how nothing seems to work
 * July: Friend One defends a bully who was making horrible jokes about me, thus ending our friendship; Friend Two outright ignores any chance of contact with me; aforementioned cold-ex starts to ridicule me for my severe suicidal thoughts, saying that I'm causing drama and making it all about him; starts to erratically jump from bad relationship to bad relationship just to avoid feeling alone; starts to get continually harassed by a lot of freaks/clingy people on dA
 * August: stopped seeing my second therapist after she ridiculed me for saying I want to get into psychology; begins to flip-flop from depressed to manic often; a pedo on deviantart begins to stalk and sexually harass me
 * September: last BF (currently taking a break from intense relationships) starts to get really clingy and possessive, feeling upset whenever I cancel plans to tend to my friends/family's needs and getting easily triggered by whatever I say; pedo starts repeatedly making accounts after I continually block/report him; forced by school counselor to make up with Friend One after having a paranoid meltdown on the outdoor stairs, saying that everyone is out to get me
 * October: BF then begins to slut-shame me whenever we do intimate things (using God as an excuse and such), but then switches to feeling me up/forcibly kissing me or mocking/complaining whenever I say no; tries reporting the pedo to the police, but can't since he's all the way in Sri Lanka; AP Bio teacher starts to continually accuse me of not working in front of the class and getting frustrated whenever I ask questions (and she WONDERS why this AB Honor Roll student currently has a C in that stupid class)
 * November: finally escapes/blocks the pedo by creating new, more anonymous accounts after he starts to sexually harass/blackmail an old GF of mine the same way he did with me; AP Bio teachers continues to humiliate me in front of the class to the point where my father had to talk to the principal about it; Friend One makes sexual advances towards me (we only made-out), but then plans on spreading a rumor at school, saying I gave him an STD because he's afraid that I'm romantically interested in him; has a mental breakdown over this incident
 * December: confides in a professional about being diagnosed as bipolar and borderline in the past, even though she really didn't dig deep into that; Dad accuses me of self-diagnosing and Mom accuses me of faking it; now seeing a new therapist to properly confide these feelings to; Mom has to sit with me at lunch every day because she knows that without Friend One and Two, I'll just be alone all day; AP Bio teacher yells at me for not completing a test and, once again, accuses me of not working, almost resulting in me physically attacking her and wrecking her classroom; currently planning on moving to a new school after six years of their bullshit

Fics I'm Currently working On

 * 1) Toffee Drops and a Dream (a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic): "There's a difference between being insane and being evil." Very grimdark AU version of the 2005 movie.  Rated M for HARDCORE violence, rape, torture, dramatic elements (mental illness, child abuse, family issues, tragic past, murder), brief lemon/sexual references, strong coarse language, and graphic character death.
 * 2) High School Evil (a Carrie-Jennifer's Body crossover fic): She's the wingless angel, and she's found hell in another misfit amongst once-fits. AU, 2013 movieverse.  Rated T (idk if rating will change later on) for violence, teen partying, underage drinking/drug use, sexual references, mild lemons/limes including yuri, supernaturla/spiritual themes, rape, infrequent  coarse language, dramatic elements (mental illness, tragic past, murder), and character death.
 * 3) Nine Lives (a Victorious fanfic): Bipolar. Borderline. Anorexic. Depressed. Bulimic. Histrionic. Schizoaffective. Traumatized. Obsessive-compulsive. Avoidant. Anxious. Addicted. Schizotypal. Antisocial. Attention-deficit. Hyperactive. All these labels don't make the person. (AU!)  Rated T for violence (including suicide/suicide attempts), references to drinking/drug use, sexual references, mild lemons/limes including yuri and yaoi, rape, dramatic elements (mental illness, family issues, tragic past), and character death.

Future Fics

 * 1) Darkness of Sugar (a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic): Charlie doesn't know what to think of the world he lives in. He doesn't understand why his mother still smiles, nor does he fathom how the factory mocks him so. However, a letter from Wonka may change everything. 2005 movieverse.  Rated T for violence (including suicide/suicide attempts), infrequent coarse language, yaoi, dramatic elements (mental illness, physical illness, tragic past), and character death.
 * 2) Salty and Sweet (a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory fanfic): Six years after the events of the factory, Willy Wonka is willing to make business ends meet with Mr. Salt if he agrees to letting Wonka marry his daughter, Veruca. Still clinging onto the painful memory of what happened to her, Veruca struggles to overcome personal family issues while finding comfort in the last place she expected. 2005 movieverse.  Rated K+ for sensual scenes, dramatic elements (family issues, tragic past), very rare coarse language, and violence (only referenced).
 * 3) A Heart Full of Chocolate (a Charlie and the Chocolate fanfic): When Charlie refuses Wonka's offer to abandon his family for the factory, the man disappears. Called back to the factory, along with the four rejected children, they all must figure out Wonka's puzzle in order to find him before the factory collapses. All it takes it a lot of teamwork and a touch of gobstopper mayhem. 2005 movieverse  Rated K for general audiences.
 * 4) Stranded (a Lilo and Stitch-The Little Mermaid crossover fic): Stich escapes the G.A. in order to find Lilo again, but due to the hovercraft's engine giving out, he crashlands on a deserted island. Trying to adapt to the harsh environment, he comes across a certain memorable mermaid who may be his ticket home. AU  Rated K+ for some violence, dramatic elements (family issues) and character death.
 * 5) Heartwarming (a Frozen fanfic): Hans arrived at Anna and Elsa's cabin, only expecting shelter. Anna and Elsa expected to keep their secrets hidden. However, when Hans reveals a secret of his own, it doesn't take long for things to fall apart. AU  Rated M for hardcore violence, sexual assault (not including rape), lemons/limes, supernatural/spiritual themes, dramatic themes (mental illness, family issues, murder, tragic past), torture, and graphic character death.
 * 6) Welcome to Creation (a Coraline-Five Nights at Freddy's crossover fic): All they wanted was to be a family, and now that they are one, they want nothing more than freedom from bondage. Only Coraline can see this, and only she can save them...that is, if they want her to.  Rated T for violence, dramatic elements (murder, tragic past, child abuse), supernatural/spiritual elements, and character death.
 * 7) Dollhouse (a Coraline-Orphan crossover fic): After the events of Coraline, a new tenant moves into a new addition at the Pink Palace. Her name is Esther, and she seems like a fitting enough friend for Coraline. However, when it turns out the Other Mother is comnig back for their blood, Coraline must fight agaisnt supernatural baddies, the Beldam's wrath, and even her own friend, who has secrets of her own.  Rated T for violence, dramatic elements (murder, tragic past, child abuse, family issues, mental illness), supernatural/spiritual themes, strong coarse language, and character death.
 * 8) Honey and the Bee (a Diary of a Wimpy Kid fanfic): After a family trip to the carnival goes awry, Greg escapes into a wheat field to catch his breath. There, he runs into Patty, who's there for the same reason. When a friendship between the two foes starts to form, they must go on a wacky adventure back home when they accidentally get left behind. Movieverse.  Rated K+ for (comic) violence, dramatic elements (family issues, physical illness), and references to drug use.
 * 9) The Two-Headed Dragon (an American Horror Story: Freak Show fanfic): Dandy's a freak. His love interest(s) is a dragon. His mother is depressed. His guest is a changling. What could go wrong? AU.  Rated M for hardcore violence (duh), rape, lemons/limes, dramatic elements (murder, family issues, child abuse, mental illness), supernatural/spiritual themes, strong coarse language, and graphic character death.
 * 10) By Budding (a SpongeBob SquarePants fanfic): Why did SpongeBob and all the characters suffer huge derailment in the post-movies seasons? Well, when SpongeBob himself wakes up after an unexplained, eleven-year coma, only he can figure it out.  Rated T for violence, dramatic elements (tragic past, murder), supernatural/spiritual themes, and character death.
 * 11) Underday (a Hunger Games fanfic): Gale's on top of the world, taking Katniss with him across the districts to celebrate the month-long Underday holiday. Katniss is worried about her lover's mental health. However, when they come across a lot of strange things along the way, those two things become the least of their worries. AU.  Rated M for graphic lemons/limes, violence (including suicide attempts), dramatic elements (mental illness, tragic past), strong coarse language, and character death.
 * 12) The Bicycle Elsewhere (a The Giver-Hunger Games crossover fic): Jonas escaped the sameness of his community only to find it in the pains of lone survivor of Elsehwere, Katniss Everdeen. When the two try to protect Gabe and each other, Sameness and Elsewhere will clash in a way no one expected. AU.  Rated T for violence (including wartime battle sequences), mild lemons/limes, dramatic elements (tragic past, family issues), mild torture, and character death.
 * 13) Ponynality (a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfic): Six ponies. A plethora of personality disorder among other issues. Applejack claims that she's the only sane mare of the group...or is she? AU.  Rated T for violence (including suicide attempts), references to drinking/drug use, sexual references (including an allusion to rape), infrequent coarse language, and dramatic elements (mental illness, child abuse, tragic past, family issues).
 * 14) Zalgo's Unicharm (a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfic): After the events of Magic Duel, Trixie begins to suffer strange and violent withdrawl after losing possession of the Alicorn Amulet. A pariah in Ponyville, Trixie turns to the only mare who is not only willing to help her, but forgive her: Twilight Sparkle.  Rated T for violence, infrequent coarse language, slight yuri, dramatic elements (tragic past, mental illness), supernatural/spiritual elements, and character death.

Quick Fic Poll
Should I provide external links to these fics, or post them chapter by chapter in blog posts? external links chapter blogs both I love grapes :D

Afterword

 * 1) I know people used to call my Crystal on my old account, seeing that I said it was my name, and people might end up calling me Tracey upon first viewing; but I do want to clarify that my real first name is Ellie, so I prefer to be called that, please. :)
 * 2) I'm not sure if I'll really post any Total Drama fanfiction here (I probably won't, even if I get around to writing any), but I'll still be an avid commenter and friendly user to those on here. :D
 * 3) Feel free to message me on here if you wanna chat. My talk page is always open! If you wanna move to an external source, send me your other websites, I'll copy-n-paste it, and then remove it from the talk page to avoid anyone else taking it without asking.
 * 4) IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK! :D