Return to Total Drama Action

Last season, twenty-two new teens returned to, and competed on the now famous Total Drama Island. Like the veterens before them, several have qualified to return on the less famous, Total Drama Action. Watch as they form new friendships and conflicts, love is put to the test, metaphorical blood is spilled, and drama is dished out. Who will win? Someone. Who will lose? Everyone else. Find out who will be who on....Return to.....Total....Drama....Action!

Femme Fatales
Jessica

Shannon

Victoria

Wendy

Hannah

Francine

Zuma

Quinn

Team Masculine
Tristan

Kevin

Reese

Gerald

David

Edward

Parker

Andrew

Chapter One: "Refresher Island"
Sixteen reasonably attractive teenagers stand waiting outside of an abandoned film lot.

"Hey guys," Andrew, visibly hurt by the loss of his accent, "Do you think that this season will bring out our worst, previously unknown personality aspects?"

"What are you talking about?" Edward scoffs.

Andrew sighs, "Like it did to the original contestants. Everyone was normal at the start of their season two, and by the end, everyone's different...will that happen to us?"

Kevin laughs, "Pff. Of course not. We know how to stop that from happening. Yep, I only see good changes on the horizon."

Everyone stares at Kevin, who is dressed completely different from what they remember. He now wears much nicer clothing, and his hair is it's natural color.

"Dude....what happened?" Zuma looks confused, as she eyes Kevin up, head to toe.

"Well," Kevin begins, "After the unfortunate accident during the final five challenge, last season, I decided to accept that no matter what I do, there's no stopping so called 'bad luck'. I came to peace with my misfortune. Since then...I don't know," Kevin smiles, "My luck's changed drastically. My father got a huge bonus at work, and sent me these clothes. They got here about the time my natural hair color started growing back in..."

Gerald frowns, slightly, and looks to the ground.

David yawns, and lays his head on the nearest suitcase. The name on the suitcase is printed clearly, 'SHANNON'

"Excuse me!" Shannon leaps into action, "Would you mind getting your head off of my personal property?"

David's eyes barely open, "Do what...?"

Shannon grasps his hair, "Look at this! Pitiful! Your hair is extremely oily, and it's a wonder that you don't have acne to match! It's nothing personal...I just have a 'thing' about people touching my personal items..." Shannon's eye twitches.

David stands up, "Look, Chicky, all I did was...." David is interrupted by the screech of a horn, and the sound of screaming.

"Look out!" Gerald's eyes grow wide, and he catapults into the air, knocking Shannon to the ground. David looks to the side, only to see the freshly polished grill of Chris' car, which slams into him, sending his being flying across the film lot.

"Oh my gosh! Call an ambulance!" Quinn calls out, as she, and the other contestants, rush to where David landed.

"Hmmm, I was going for more of a....'come-to-an-abrupt-stop'," Chris shrugs.

"Chris! Do you have a cell phone? He needs help!" Wendy yells from across the lot.

David speaks up, "Really, I'm fine. Actually...," he looks himself over, "I'm not fine...Shannon, you're right...I'm a disgrace," he stand sup, and brushes himself off. He tucks in his shirt, and ties his shoes. The others stare at him, puzzled.

"But...how are you fine? You got hit by a CAR, David..." Hannah speaks up, visibly shocked.

Parker looks disturbed, "This is totally illogical...you shouldn't be able to speak, let alone stand and brush yourself off....how is this so?"

David smiles, "Well, I was nearly asleep when the car hit me, meaning my muscles were very relaxed, allowing my body to absorb most of the impact. Thank goodness for my habitual laziness."

Jessica, who had been coiling pieces of string in her hand, looks to Quinn, "Bet you didn't know that," Quinn scowls.

David feels his hair, "Does anyone by chance have a comb?"

Tristan slowly pulls a comb out of his pocket, and cautiously hand sit to David, who smiles gratefully. David combs his hair down, and hands the comb back to Tristan.

Chris walks up, "Okay kids, enough of this. I have an announcement! This season's teams will be.....Boys vs. Girls!"

"Really?" Victoria smiles, "That is so cool! The girls are totally going to kick some boy-butt!" Victoria cheers, as Zuma high-fives.

"Dudes, we get to hang, and form brotherly ties that will last us a lifetime!" Reese smiles wide, as he pulls all the other guys into a hug. He releases them, after getting several glares.

"Do we get to name our teams?" Francine's eyes light up.

"Um...sure, why not?" Chris shrugs, and looks at a clipboard.

The guys and girls form two huddles.

"How about...Team Awesome?" Andrew suggests.

"No way. That's juvenile," Parker raises an eyebrow.

"I think we should be....Starscream and the Seekettes," Kevin pipes up.

"No," Parker shakes his head.

"Team Masculine?" Tristan says weakly.

The boys look at each other, and then to Tristan. They smile, and put their hands together,

"Go Team Masculine!" they all throw their hands up at the cheer.

"Okay girls, let's be.....the Blackhearts," Francine smiles slyly.

Quinn frowns, "No, that's trashy. We're the Storm Troopers."

Zuma shakes her head, "Nerdy. Let's be the Originals."

"Femme Fatales?" Francine questions. Zuma and Quinn nod in agreement.

"Wait, I don't like that name..." Victoria speaks up.

"Too late," Quinn brushes her comment off, and calls to Chris, "We're offically the Femme Fatales, Chris!""

"Took you all long enough. Anyway, this season will be...the Femme Fatales against Team Masculine. Now, everyone, follow me into the lot for your first challenge!" Chris beckons for the teens to follow.

Upon entering the lot, the teens spy two large pirate ships, the decks of which are full of junk.

"Your first challenge will be based on Pirate Movies! Now, since pirates have pretty much fallen from grace, in the eyes of Hollywood, this challenge will only have one part. The challenge is to fire upon the enemy ship, using your cannons. The first team to demolish the other team will be declared the winner. The losers will send someone home in the very first Gilded Chris ceremony of the season. Your ammo...will be whatever you can fit into the cannon," Chris explains, as the teams begin climbing up rope ladders hanging down the sides of the ship. Once both teams are completely situated, Chris blows a whistle, signaling the start of the challenge.

Andrew immediatley assumes leadership for Team Masculine, "Alright, Parker and David, I want you two firing the cannon. Tristan and Reese, you two start moving material next the cannon, so we'll have easy access. Edward, Kevin, and Gerald, you three can act as decoys to lure the girls away from firing on the others."

Meanwhile, a power struggle erupts on the Femme Fatale side.

"No, YOU get ammo," Zuma shouts at Francine.

"Man the cannon, Debbie!" Quinn shoves Zuma away.

Francine rolls her eyes, "Look you two, logically, the males are going to try and take us out as quickly as possible. If we all stand in one big group, we're only making their job easier. So, here's what we'll do. Quinn, you take Shannon, Wendy and Jessica to collect ammo. Zuma, you take Victoria and Hannah and man the cannon. I'll stay up here and call out when the boys are getting ready to fire."

Andrew loads a folding chair into the cannon, and shoots a glance to Parker and David, "Fire!" he calls out.

Francine glances over her shoulder to see Victoria nad Hannah tangled up in a length of rope, with Zuma trying desperatley to untie them.

"What happened?" Francine calls out. However, her voice is silenced by the deafening boom of Team Masculine's cannon. Francine can only stare wide-eyed as the folding chair takes out all three girls. Francine throws her head back, cursing the heavens.

Andrew sees Francine crying out in fustration, and smiles, satisfied.

"Orders, sir?" David calls outs from behind the cannon.

Andrew turns, and starts to say something. The boom of a cannon blast cracks in the distance, and he falls to the deck. A card table knocks Edward, who is standing next to Gerald, off his feet. Gerald screams, and falls to his knees, grasping at his face, and begins crying. Kevin rushes over.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" He tries to pulls Gerald's hands from his face.

"Don't touch me! Don't even look at me!" Gerlad momentarily lets go of his face, to shove Kevin aside. Kevin stumbles, and looks confused, as well as dejected.

Andrew calls over, "Hey, you two! Back in formation! Go see if Edward's alright, and go back to trying to distract the girls!"

In the background, Parker and David are firing another object.

On the Femme Fatale side, Victoria, Zuma, Hannah, Quinn and Wendy are out.

Shannon picks up a rusty anchor, "Ew...rust, oxidation...more rust.."

Jessica sighs, and takes her mini hand sanitizer bottle from her pocket, and tosses it.

"What is that for?" Shannon glance over.

"Huh? Oh...um, I'm just mad that we're losing..." Jessica's eyes refuse to eat Shannon's.

"Watch out, you two!" Francine shouts, from the front of the ship. Jessica and Shannon have little time to react, as a load of dirty, rolled up socks smash into them.

Francine groans in fustration, and grabs a brick, and loads the cannon up.

"Trust in thine self, and thou shalt triumph over thine enemies...." Francine aims her weapon at the sillouette of a tall young man.

"Captain! Watch out!" David sees the brick launch out of the cannon. He dives through the air, pushing Andrew out of the way, as the brick passes them, and sideswipes the deck.

Andrew picks himself up, and glares off, knowing who had fired on him. He says nothing, but instead grabs loads of knick-knacks and junk laying around him, and shoves them into the cannon. He shoves more and more in the barrel, stuffing it to the brim. He softly pushes Parker out of the way, and fires.

Francine looks to the sky, and sees the horrifying sight of numerous objects falling to earth, right over her.

Chris blows his whistle, again. "Team Masculine wins the first challenge of the season!" Femme Fatales, I'll see you at the Gilded Chris ceremony."

Francine glares at Zuma and Quinn, "You two didn't..."

Zuma pushes past her, "Don't start with me. You don't have any right to command us like that!"

Meanwhile, Shannon sprays herself with cleanser. "Ugh....socks...socks...dirty socks..," she notices Jessica sulking.

"Hey..." she scrubs her arms, "Are you okay?"

Jessica lights up, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Shannon looks concerned, the look on her face is one of disbelief, yet, she nods, and continues scrubbing.

--Gilded Chris Ceremony--

A montage of Chris' best moments playes, as fanfare booms, and a spotlight hits the stage. Chris, clad in power blue tuxedo, walks onto the stage, holding a plate of seven golden statuettes.

"Under your seat, you will find your voting devices. Cast your vote for the member of your team you wish to vote off. If you don't recieve a Gilded Chris, you must walk the Red Carpet of Shame, and catch the Lame-o-Sine."

The girls reach for their voting devices, and cast their votes.

"The votes have been cast," Chris says, "And the Gilded Chris' go to.....Hannah, Victoria, Jessica, Wendy and.....Shannon," Chris throws out the awards to the safe castmates.

Francine, Zuma and Quinn sit in the bleachers, awaiting the result.

"The next Chris goes to.......Francine," Chris throws an award to Francine.

"The final Gilded Chris goes to.................."

"................................................."

"....................................................."

"Quinn," Chris throws the final award to a visibly relieved Quinn.

"What..? But, why?" Zuma slowly climbs to her feet, looking at her former team.

"You, Quinn and Francine were extremely annoying, today..." Hannah sighs, "Bu, at least they had strategy. I'm sorry, Zuma, it's really nothing personal..."

Quinn smiles, and looks to Francine, who nods and returns Quinn's smile.

Zuma sighs, and gives a half-hearted smile, "Well, at least I made it far last season, right? I'll catch you guys later..." she waves, as she walks the Red Carpet of Shame, and enters the Lame-o-Sine. The Lame-o-Sine pulls away, and Chris speaks into the microphone.

"Well, the guys were the big winners today, but we've got plenty more episodes ahead of us. Will the girls solve their internal conflict? Will David return to his lazy former self? Why was Gerald crying? Find out next time on Total.......Drama......Action!"

Chapter Two: "Not Another Team Movie"
After Zuma leaves on the Lame-o-Sine, the girls walk out into the middle of the film lot, where they see the boys standing.

"What are you guys waiting for?" Wendy asks.

"Chris said he wanted us to wait here, and after your ceremony, he'd give us our trailers," Parker yawns, "Little did we know, the Gilded Chris thing wouldn't start for three hours."

"You guys got rid of Zuma?" Reese scans the group of girls, and fails to see her. He frowns with obvious displeasure.

"Dude, what do you care? Better one of them, than one of us," Edward sneers.

Chris walks into the film lot, froma back door coming down from the stage, "Okay kids, your trailers should be here any second."

Seconds later, two trailers fall out of the sky, (a pink one, and a blue one), landing on either side of the contestants.

"Hey, where did those trailer come from?" Shannon asks, stupified, "Are they clean?"

Chris rolls his eyes, "If you'd been paying attention, you would know the answer to both of those questions."

"But, you never said anything about.." Shannon begins, "Ah, what's the use?"

"Now," Chris begins, "Boys in the pink trailer, girls in the blue one."

No one moves.

"Maybe I wasn't being clear enough, boys in the pink, girls in the blue," Chris snaps his fingers, and Chef Hatchet melts from the shadows, holding a large spoon in a menacing way.

The boys rush to the pink trailer, throwing each other to the ground in order to get there first, the girls rush single file into the blue trailer, looks of ghastly terror painted all over their faces.

Chris nods to Chef Hatchet, who melts back into the shadows, silently. Chris whips out his trusty megaphone, "Oh megaphone, sometimes it seems like you're the only one who understands my frequent need to be obnoxiously loud...." Chris smiles fondly, and turns the object on, "Attention castmates, you will have the rest of the night to relax, before tomorrow's challenge. Sleep well, you have a five a.m. wake up call."

Inside the girl's trailer, the air is full of tension.

"So, Zuma got voted off..." Hannah says quietly, trying to start a conversation.

"Yeah," Quinn scoffs, "And she deserved it. She had no strategy."

Victoria frowns, "I regret voting her off, kinda. She was nice, at least."

Quinn shakes her head, "That's why you'll never last in this game, Victoria. Let me ask you a question, who wins American Idol?"

"The best singer," Victoria says without hesitation.

Shannon raises an eyebrow, "Everybody knows that, what are you getting at?"

Quinn laughs, and shakes her head, "You would think that. The best singer doesn't win, the best preformer does. You know, the person everyone talks about at the watercooler the next day. They're the ones who bring in ratings, and viewers. If you let someone like her get far, she'll dominate. You saw the Total Drama Action finale on television, didn't you? It ended with a vote for the winner. Do any of you seriously think you would beat her in a vote? Raise you hand if you think you could"

No one says anything. Francine slowly raises her hand.

"Yeah, I didn't think so," Quinn smiles, and lays down on a bed. The other girls look to each other with fustration and confusion.

Meanwhile, things inside the guy's trailer are much more relaxed. Andrew smiles proudly, and lays on his back, basking in the light of his team's victory.

"Dudes, we rocked out there. We rocked like hurricanes," Reese hands out random cans of soda.

Tristan smiles slightly, "Word."

Edward shoves past him, "Don't say that," he opens his soda can, spraying Tristan in the face.

Andrew laughs, and throws Tristan his own soda, "C'mon guys, he tried just as hard as any of us out there, I say he deserves a second chance."

The other guys shrug, and more or less agree.

"Thanks, Andy," Tristan smiles.

"Andy?" Andrew sits up.

Tristan shrugs, "Andrew is so southern, and without your accent, you don't sound like a 'good ole boy' anymore, I figured Andy fit you better, now."

Andrew nods, "Thanks, I think I'll stick with Andrew...like, forever, though."

"Suit yourself, Jethro--er, Andrew," Tristan nods, and sips his drink.

Andrew dismisses this comment, and goes back to relaxing.

Reese throws his arms around Parker and Tristan, "Great job, you guys!"

Parker looks uncomfortable, "Uh, Reese, this is a little awkward..."

"Oh, right, the gay thing," Reese slaps his forehead.

Tristan slips out of Reese's grip, "Dude, you're gay? I thought you had something for little miss Prozac?"

"Actually," Parker says, "I'm gay, not him."

Tristan slowly nods his head, "Oh...I see...hey, how 'bout I go grab us some snacks from the mess hall tent?"

"Sounds great!" David says, "I'll go with you, in case you need help."

As David and Tristan depart, and the other boys start to settle their belongings in, Kevin notices Gerald's absence.

"Guys, has anyone seen Gerald?" Kevin asks.

"He stepped out, like, fifteen minutes ago," Edward grumbles.

Kevin nods, and steps outside the trailer. After a few minutes of searching, he sees Gerald sitting on the ground, with his head buried in his arms.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong, man?" Kevin puts his hand on Gerald's back.

Gerald jerks away, "Nothing."

Kevin frowns, and sits down next to him, "Why were you crying during the challenge?"

"If you must know," Gerald sighs, "About three years ago, my mom was driving me home from the dentist. We were...at this stoplight, and..." his eyes begin tearing up, "This tractor trailer sideswipes us out of no where. Totals our car, completely....twisted metal....broken glass everywhere...the smell of hot asphalt close to my face..." Gerald breaks down.

"Gerald..." Kevin looks stunned, "Did your mom die?"

Gerald shakes his head, "Nah, she made it out with only a hairline fracture in her wrist and some cuts and bruises. Doctors said it was a miracle it wasn't worse. But, every since then, I've had the feeling that I'm constantly in danger...like, everything exist solely to harm me..." Gerald lies his head in his arms, and sobs quietly.

Kevin gives Gerald a quick hug, and stands up without saying anything, at first. He looks at Gerald for a moment, "Hey, bud, if you need to talk...I'll listen. Anytime." Kevin begins walking away, "I can feel that you need some time to vent, so I'll leave you for now."

Kevin steps back into the trailer.

"We're an excellent team, at this point," Parker raises his soda can.

"I'll drink to that," Andrew smiles. The boys clink their cans together, except Tristan, who looks to the ground.

Edward pokes him, "You missed the toast, spacey."

Tristan looks up, and raises his glass, "Team....Masculine," he mumbles.

The next day, Chris walks between the two trailers, "Okay kids, time to wake up! Meet in the mess hall tent in ten, people!"

The castmates sit in the mess hall tent.

"Alright kiddos, today's movie genre is...Inspiration Sports Movies! You know how a new sports movie comes out every, say, every other week? Well, today, we'll be making our own...sorta!" Chris announces.

Tristan's eyes light up, "I SOOO have this..."

"Not quite," Chris continues, "You won't be judged by your preformance in each sport, but on how inspirational you are. Now, everyone meet in lot six for the first part of today's challenge!"

As the teens walk into lot six, they see an amazing basketball court, complete with scoreboard and bleachers.

"Chris....this...is impressive.." Tristan stands in awe.

"Okay, if you know anything about basketball, you'll know that each team may only have five members on the court at a time, so, Femme Fatales, sit out two people, and Team Masculine, sit out three," Chris walks away, to let the teams prepare.

"Okay," Andrew steps forward, "Reese, myself, and...Tristan will sit out."

Tristan's head jerks, "What? You wanna reconsider that?"

Andrew puts his hand on Tristan's shoulder, "What's more inspirational, us three jocks beating some girls at basketball, or three short, frail, and chubby kids trying to beat some girls at basketball?"

"You're right, I guess..." Tristan sighs, and sits on the bleachers, resting his frowning face in his hands. Andrew and Reese sit next to him.

Quinn stands before the Femme Fatales, "Francine and I will sit out, we're the least athletic."

Francine shakes her head, "This is an acting challenge, and who here is more suited to act then," Francine throws her arms in the air, and points her fingers down at herself, "Than a thespian, like moi?"

Quinn ignores her, "Wendy, Victoria, Shannon, Jessica and Hannah, get out there!"

Chris blows the whistle, the teams have been chosen, now, when one team reaches thirty points, or fifteen minutes pass, this part of the challenge will end, and I'll award a point to the winner......now, play ball!"

The game starts, and the girls immediatley take the upper hand. Wendy easily ducks and weaves past Parker and Edward, score a basket in less than a minute. Hannah quickly makes a basket from the tree-point line. The boys dribble off their feet, trip, and are intercepted at every turn. Chris blows the whistle,

"Half time! The score is currently, Femme Fatales: eighteen, Team Masculine: three."

Both teams huddle.

"Okay boys, we need to get in the game," Kevin says, "Let's show them that just because we're weak," the camera pans to Gerald, "Short," the camera moves to Parker, "fat," the camera moves to a scowling Edward, "and kinda really ugly," finally, it moves to David, who doesn't really realize Kevin was referring to him, "That we can win this," he narrows his eyes, "Because we're a team..." the boys nod.

Meanwhile, the girls simply stare at each other. Shannon speaks up, "Um...do you girls happen to know if they clean the basketballs before games? It's been on my mind this whole time, and it's really bothering me..."

Chris blows the whistle again, and everyone moves back onto the court.

Kevins rushes through the girls, stealing the ball from Wendy. Wendy jumps in front of his, blocking his shot to the basket, he looks to the left, and sees Edward, open.

"Think fast, Edward!" He calls as he heaves the ball.

Edward turns, "Do what?" The ball cracks him square in the face. Edward falls to his knees, and seemingly in slow motion, falls flat on his face. His team surrounds him.

Tristan winces, "Holy rockin' jingle bells..."

"Edward, speak to me..." David flips him over. Reese, Tristan and Andrew rush down off the bleachers and onto the court.

"No more than five players on the court, it's the rules," Chris calls from the sidelines.

"Forget the rules, Chris! Can't you see this boy needs help?" Andrew snarls. He lifts Edward off the floor, "Why must we fight..why must we cause so much pain, in this already painful world....Edward....WHY?????" Andrew cries out.

The buzzer goes off.

"Well, I think it's pretty safe to say, Team Masculine wins the point," Chris smiles.

"That's totally illogical, we dominated..." Quinn pouts.

Chris shrugs, "Sorry, tragic death of a team mate in a freak passing accident trumps gender role- reversal everytime," Chris waves the castmates over to the lot exit, follow me to lot nine for part two."

Andrew drops Edward, and leads Team Masculine to lot nine, Quinn leads the Femme Fatales.

Lot nine has a large, olympic sized pool.

Chris explains, "Okay people, each team select one person to swim. The swimmers will walk to the other side of the pool, and swim to this side, simple as that."

"How are we suppose to be inspirational swimming one lap?" Quinn complains.

"I can find a way," Francine chimes, "Let me swim."

"I'll swim," Jessica volunteers.

Quinn smiles "Great. Francine, I don't want to take a chance on you overdoing things."

"Did you not see how the guys won the last challenge? Overdoing is how you win these acting challenges!" Francine pouts.

"Hmm..." Andrew observes his team. Tristan waves his arms frantically.

"Put me in, coach! I can do it!" he begs.

"Sorry, bro....Edward, you swim," Andrew points to Edward, who is rubbing his back.

Edward looks angry "What? You drop me on the ground, and now you want me to swim for you? Get real, bucko."

Andrew smiles, "But you got this, man...think about it...an injured athlete, trying desperately not to let his team down. That bleeds inspiration."

"Yeah, well," Edward holds his nose, "My nose is bleeding blood, thanks to that last challenge."

"Have the swimmers been selected?" Chris asks.

"Yeah," Andrew shoves Edward forward. Jessica stands next to him.

"Good, these choices are final, and will not be changed," Chris begins.

"I think it's broken," Edward points to his nose.

"Under any circumstances. Swimmers, take your positions," Chris claps his hands.

"Ah, crap..." Edward mumbles, as he walks to the other side of the pool.

"Ready....set....SWIM!" Chris fires off a pistol. Edward and Jessica leap into the pool. Jessica quickly pulls ahead of Edward, who begins to sink below the water.

"Mnmmhhmm!" Edward gasps, as he sinks, and struggles to keep swimming. Jessica reaches the other end of the pool, in the meantime, but continues to swim back and forth, from end to end.

"Chris, isn't it inspirational how Jessica keeps going?" Quinn says slyly.

"Hmm...no, not really. It's kind of sad. That chick need help, or a slap upside the head at least. Once again, tragic death of a team mates trumps what the Femme Fatales have up their sleeve!"

"Oh, yeah, that reminds me.." Andrew pulls his shirt off, and dives into the pool, pulling Edward to the surface.

"You okay, man?" Andrew sets him on the ground.

Edward scowls, "I hate you....so much..."

Andrew smiles, "S'okay everyone, he's fine!"

"Well," Chris smiles, "Looks like Team Masculine wins again!"

Victoria looks confused, "Isn't there still one more challenge, though?"

Quinn slaps her forehead, "It doesn't matter, they've already won tow out of three, moron..."

Victoria frowns, the other girls glare at Quinn, and leave the lot, except for Shannon, who watches Jessica swim.

Chris calls out after them, "Meet up at the stage for your second Gilded Chris Ceremony!"

Chris, and Team Masculine depart.

"Jessica, does it bother you at all that you have OCD?" Shannon asks calmly.

Jessica finally manages to climb out of the pool, "Whatever gave you that idea..?"

Shannon frowns, "I know last season, you said it didn't bother you, but I think it's fairly obvious that it does, deeply."

"Look, it's fine, okay? It doesn't bother me, and even if it did, there ain't much I can do about it, is there?" Jessica grabs a towl, and leaves the lot. Shannon sighs, and follows behind her.

--Gilded Chris Ceremony--

Tension mounts, as the Femme Fatales enter their second ceremony in a row. Chris walks onto the stage with a plate of six awards.

"Under your seat, you will find your voting devices. Cast your vote for the member of your team you wish to vote off. If you don't recieve a Gilded Chris, you must walk the Red Carpet of Shame, and catch the Lame-o-Sine." Chris reads off a note card.

"Chris, this is your second season of doing these award ceremonies, shouldn't you have that speech down pat by now?" Jessica sighs.

"They don't pay me to memorize things, they pay me to look gorgeous," Chris smiles, as his eyes shimmer, and his stubble shines.

"Whatever," Jessica rolls her eyes and pushes a button on her voting device. She pushes it an additional six times before Quinn smacks her hand.

"Your votes have been cast, and counted. I have the results, and the first Gilded Chris goes to.....Hannah," Chris takes an award off the plate, and throws it to Hannah.

"Next up, Victoria, Jessica, Shannon and Wendy," Chris throws out awards to the safe members of the Femme Fatales.

Francine and Quinn slowly shift their eyes to each other.

"This is the final award, girls..." Chris says, more dramatic than necessary, "And it goes to..........."

".............................................."

"..........................................................................."

"Francine," Chris throws the final award to Francine, as the color fades from Quinn's face.

"But....I..." Quinn stammers. Chef Hatchet appears silently from the shadows, and lifts Quinn up, slinging her over his shoulder. He carries her down the Walk of Shame, and tosses her carelessly into the Lame-o-Sine.

"Well," Chris claps his hands together, "There ends another's dreams over becoming a millionaire, and so ends another episode of Total.....Drama.....Action.!"

The girls begins stepping down off the bleachers, and heading back to the trailer. Shannon watches Jessica squirt a glog of hand sanitizer into her palm, and rub feverishly. She sighs, and drops her head, and walks to the trailer with the rest of her team.

Meanwhile, the boys celebrate their second victory with a round of root beer. Kevin sips his root beer in solitude, and Gerald approaches him.

"Hey....is it okay if we go outside and talk?" Gerald looks nervous.

Kevin smiles, "Sure, pal." Kevin hands Gerald a root beer, and they leaves the trailer.

Tristan hops up onto one of the top beds. Parker looks up, "A little early for bed, isn't it?"

"Um," Tristan glances at Parker, but his eyes move back to his bed, "You know what they say, early to bed, early to rise...something, something, something..."

Parker stares hard at Tristan, and nods, walking away to join the other guy's celebration. Tristan sighs, as he lays on his bed, and rolls over, facing the wall of the trailer.

Chapter Three: "You, Ruined"
The remaining six Femme Fatales sit motionless in their trailer, each staring blankly at the empty bunk Quinn once inhabited. It was right next to the door, on the left. Quinn had slept alone, on the bottom bed. Directly across, on the right side of the trailer, Victoria and Shannon share a bunk, they look dumbfounded, as a montage of Quinn snoring loudly plays, briefly. The montage ends, and the camera switches to the set of back bunks on the right, where Jessica and Wendy sleep. They stare silently at Quinn's former bed as a montage of Quinn talking nonstop while they try to sleep. Finally, the camera moves along to the set of back bunks on the right, the one Francine and Hannah share. Their stares are slightly more perplexed, as if fascinated by the new, placid ripple seemingly washing over the team, in wake of the fresh elimination. Hannah stands, and slowly shuffles her way to the empty bed. The other girls shift their eyes over to her, as she slowly lays a hand down on the unruffled bedspread.

"She's not here, anymore," Hannah's voice is casual, yet carries a touch of satisfaction. The others nod dumbly at her statement, and rise, slowly. It is quiet for a few seconds, and the girls burst into insane fits of cheering, laughter, and hugs.

Across the way, the guys are relaxing in their trailer. The set of bunks closest to the door, on the left side is occupied by David, who is busy shining his shoes, and Edward, who has fallen asleep in his faded, hole-filled underwear. Opposite them, on the right side, Andrew reads a copy of Lord of the Flies on the top bed, while Gerald sings along to a song on his iPod on the lower bed. The back-left bunk is shown to have Parker relaxing peacefully on his back on the top bed, while Reese eats a bag of corn chips on the bottom. The right-back bunk has Kevin combing his hair on the bottom bed, while Tristan tosses a baseball up in the air, on the top.

The scene changes back to the girls, Wendy says, "I think we should elect a captain! Maybe that's the reason the guy's team keeps beating us, they seem to have some sort of chain of command," she suggests.

"It's worth a shot," Hannah shrugs, "And volunteers?"

Wendy and Francine catapult their hands in the air, startling the other girls with thier enthusiasm. The other four girls look to each other, and in unison say, "Francine."

Francine giggles with joy, and hugs the other girls. Wendy looks irritated, "Why her?"

Shannon holds her arm, "It's just...Francine's the more theatrical one...and this is partially an acting contest.."

"Plus, I know about what you did to Steven," Jessica looks at her, angrily.

Wendy looks annoyed, "Look, he's a nice guy, but we just live too far..."

Jessica shakes her head, "No, that's not what I'm talking about. You have a boyfriend back home...and you led Steven on.."

"I don't know what you're--" Wendy's eyes fly open, Jessica interrupts.

"Don't even, I head you talking to him over the phone at Playa Des Losers!"

The rest of the team stare at Wendy, who's face shows fright.

"Is...is that true?" Victoria raises an eyebrow in suspicion. Wendy goes to say something, but stops, and nods her head.

Chris calls from the loudspeaker outside, "Oh, castmates! It's time for your challenge!"

The Femme Fatales shove their way past Wendy, and head out into the film lot. Wendy sighs, and trudges behind them. Team Masculine arrives a few seconds later.

"Fourteen of you left, huh? Hmm, after today there will be thirteen..a very unlucky number for some," Chris nudges Kevin.

"Haha," Kevin says sarcastically, "My luck's come around, McLean. Thirteen or no thirteen, I'm in this for the long haul."

Chris shrugs, "Whatever you say. Anyway, today's movie genre is...Futuristic Evil Robot movies!" Chris wiggles his fingers menacingly, in front of an unimpressed audiance. "Fine, be that way. For your challenge, each team will need to act as an investigative unit, tracking a robot suspected of plotting against the human population. Your team will need to gather evidence against the robot before you move in to arrest them, otherwise, you may provoke the rest of the robot population, sparking a giant world war between man and machine, that ends in global devastation and economic ruin. Also, you'll lose the challenge, so be careful. The robot may actually be innocent, so pay special close attention. Team Masculine, since you're on a winning streak, you'll go first."

In the distance, Chef Hatchet appears, wearing a robot costume, made out of a large box, spray painted gray and silver.

Andrew turns to his team, "Okay, Parker and Tristan, you two go forward, the rest of us with spread out."

"Um, I can't," Tristan says abruptly.

Andrew looks confused, "And why not?"

"I totally feel like I'm going to puke, dude," Tristan holds his stomach, and groans slightly.

Andrew is quiet for a moment, "Gah, fine. Go back to the trailer and lay down," he looks annoyed as Tristan hobbles away.

Chris interjects, "Oh, I almost forgot, here," Chris hands out walkie-talkies to Team Masculine, "So you can converse, and stuff."

The seven remaining members of Team Masculine spread out, surrounding the area around the 'robot'. David and Reese get the closest, and watch tensely as the 'robot' reaches for what appears to be a laser.

"He's going for his weapon...he's ready to strike.." David says into the walkie-talkie.

"Hold your position, we don't know what he's going to do.." Andrew's voice comes from the walkie-talkie, sternly. The 'robot' pulls the supposed weapon out all the way, and points it at a building.

"He's gonna attack!" Reese stands up, "Get him!" David calls out. The two boys rush the 'robot', tackling him to the ground.

Chris runs up, "What are you doing!? I said watch him carefully!" Chris shakes his head, and picks up the supposed weapon. He points to the side, where a label reads 'Storage Room Key-Free Lock'. "This isn't a gun, it's a futuristic way to unlock doors without using a key. Did you forget this is suppose to be the future? Everything looks like a gun in the future!" Chris drops the item, "Femme Fatales, you're up."

"Okay, how should we approach this?" Shannon asks Francine. Francine puts her hand up, and walks straight up to the 'robot'.

"Excuse me, Mr. Robot, but are you plotting to destroy the human race as we know it?" Francine asks sweetly.

The 'robot' shakes his head, "Nope."

Francine grabs his wrist, twisting his arm behind his back, "Ah-Ha! Just as I suspected, his robot fingers are robo-crossed..."

Chris looks confused, and looks at Chef Hatchet, "Really?" Chef Hatchet shrugs, and removes his robot costume.

"Well, I guess this is a Femme Fatale victory," Chris says, "Team Masculine, meet me for your first Gilded Chris Ceremony in two hours.

Andrew looks at David and Reese, annoyed. "C'mon guys, let's head back to the trailer and check on Tristan." Team Masculine shuffles back to thier trailer, as the Femme Fatales cheer, and carry Francine back to their trailer. Team Masculine arrives back at their trailer, and see Tristan huddled ontop of his bed.

"How are you feeling?" Parker taps him.

"Uh, better, I'm better, dude. But, uh..I think I'll catch some more Z's," he says briskly.

Andrew sneers, "Okay, but don't sleep too long, we've got to eliminate someone tonight," he sighs, deeply.

"Dude, we lost?" Tristan looks worried, and Andrew nods.

Parker says, "Well, you get some sleep, I'll wake you up a few minutes before we have to leave."

"Um, alright, cool, thanks," Tristan rolls over, quickly, and faces the wall.

Parker looks confused, but shakes his head, and walks over to the wall, he notices a lot of the guys are laying down, so he flips the light switch.

"Hey, Parker?" Reese says, somewhere in the dark.

"Yes, Reese, what is it?" Parker grumbles.

"Could you leave the light on for me?" Reese sounds a little frightened. Parker sighs, and flips the light back on, causing the others to groan, and curse.

Parker walks back to his bunk, and starts climbing the ladder up to his bed, from below he hears, "Thanks, pal."

-Gilded Chris Ceremony-

Team Masculine enter their first elimination ceremony of the season. Chris walks onto the stage with a plate of seven awards.

"Under your seat, you will find your voting devices. Cast your vote for the member of your team you wish to vote off. If you don't recieve a Gilded Chris, you must walk the Red Carpet of Shame, and catch the Lame-o-Sine." Chris points to the awaiting Lame-o-Sine.

The boys pick up their voting devices, some shift their eyes side-to-side.

"The votes have been cast," Chris is handed a slip of paper by an unnamed intern, "And the Gilded Chris' go to...Andrew, Parker...and....Kevin!" Chris throws out the awards to the safe castmates. Edward, Gerald, Tristan, Reese and David sit, anxiously awaiting their fates.

Chris shifts his eyes, "Next, Gerald, Edward and........Tristan!" Chris tosses three more awards out. Reese and David quickly glance at each other, both looking extremely nervous. David mumbles incoherently to himself, Reese sweats bullets.

"The final Gilded Chris is in my hands, gentlemen," Chris waves the chocolate statue tauntingly, "And it goes to.................."

"......................................"

".........................................................."

"David," Chris carelessly throws David the award. Reese sighs, and stands up, so does Parker. Reese begins walking down the Red Carpet of Shame, Parker trails behind him. The rest of Team Masculine stay seated on the bleachers, watching the two. Reese comes to the end of the carper, reaching the Lame-o-Sine.

He clutches the handle, and opens the door, looking over to Parker, he says, "Well, my ride's here," he smiles. Reese puts his hand out, gesturing for Parker to shake it. Parker pushes his hand aside, and hugs his friend. He steps back, and Reese smiles fondly, "Take care of yourself, P-Man."

Parker gives a faint, yet warm smile, "Don't be a stranger. We'll leave the light on for you, in case you decide to drop in for a visit."

Reese nods, "You know Parker, some people might be smarter than me, and heck, there's probably some stronger ones out there, too. But, none of them will ever think of you as their bestest friend, like I do," a single tear rolls down Reese's face, and he climbs into the Lame-o-Sine, closing the door behind him. The Lame-o-Sine pulls off into the night.

Chris walks up, slinging his arm around Parker, "Man, that was deep...." He is silent for a moment, before pointing into the camera, declaring cheerfully, "There goes a fan favorite! Join us next time, for the most dramatic episode ever, of Total....Drama....Action!"

Team Masculine walks back to their trailer, tired and annoyed. Parker looks unphased, yet his eyes appear to be watering. Once they reach their trailer, they all go inside, except for Kevin and Gerald.

"I feel sorry for them," Gerald says.

Kevin looks over, "Who?"

Gerald looks to Kevin, "Reese and Parker. It must be hard getting separated from your very best friend this early in the game," Gerald says, and Kevin nods.

"Yeah, but Parker's a strong guy, he'll cope, plus, I think the rest of the team will comfort him, if he needs it," Kevin smiles.

Gerald nods his head, "Kevin....this may sounds weird, but I think you're my very best friend. You talked to me when no one else would, and you helped me deal with something that dozens of therapists couldn't scratch the surface of. Only a really good friend can do that," Gerald nods his head as he finishes.

Kevin pats him on the back, and smiles, "That means a lot, man." The two bump fists, and head back inside, smiling.

Meanwhile, in the Femme Fatale trailer, Wendy is being evicted from her bunk.

"Well, where am I going to sleep?" She cries.

"You can sleep in Quinn's bed, you rat-fink," Victoria snaps her fingers in a sassy manner. The rest of the girls stand behind her, frowning angrily. Wendy sighs, and moves her stuff over to Quinn's bed, as the camera fades out of the film lot.

Chapter Four: "Child's Nightmare on Halloween in Urban Texas: Part Thirteen"
The Femme Fatales sit in their trailer, quietly. Victoria, Francine, Jessica, Hannah and Shannon stare angrily at a lonely Wendy.

"Guys, you don't know the whole story...c'mon, let me explain," Wendy begs. Shannon's face loses some of it's anger, replacing it with concern.

She looks to the other girls, "Maybe we should let her give her side of the story"

Francine clears her throat, "As captain of the team, I say we take a vote. All in favor of letting Wendy share her side of things, raise your hand." Wendy and Shannon raise their hands, and, after a few moments, so does Hannah.

"All in favor of continuing the anger, silent staring, raise your hand," Francine says, raising her hand. Jessica and Victoria also raise their hands, "Hmm," Francine taps her chin with her fingers, "A tie. I guess we can comprimise. Wendy, you can share your side, but we'll all stare angrily at you while you do so. And....commence the glares!"

Wendy rolls her eyes, and begins to tell her side of the story, "Look, I did have a boyfriend back home, but we broke up right before I left for the island. Then I met Steven, and I really liked him. And....I'll admit, I lied when I said we couldn't be together because of the distance, the real reason was, I didn't want to start anything with him because I wasn't completely over my ex-boyfriend yet, and I didn't want to end up cheting on Steven, if I was ever hanging out with my ex. When I got to Playa Des Losers, my boyfriend called me on the resort phone, and we ended up back together...Please, I wasn't leading him on..."

"Hmm," Francine says, "I think--" Francine is interrupted by the sound of Chris' voice.

"Attention remaining castmates! Before your next challenge, I'd like you all to come out and see the newly arrived, Confessional Trailer!"

The thirteen remaining castmates meet outside, where they see the previously mentioned trailer.

"Okay guys, you know the drill," Chris says, "Vent all your thoughts, get things off your chest, yadda, yadda, whatever."

--Confessional-- Francine enters, "I don't believe Wendy's story for a second, and I think it's high time she left the film lot..." --Confessional--

--Confessional-- "Sigh, sometimes, I don't want to be jerk," Edward sighs, "But I've had a rough time. My home life isn't the greatest, and I guess, it's just my way of dealing with my unhappiness..." --Confessional--

Edward exits the confessional, and shoves Tristan, the next person in line, to the ground.

--Confessional-- Tristan looks saddened, "Dude, you know you're off kilter when the fat kid is picking on you.." --Confessional--

--Confessional-- Hannah enters, looking annoyed, "Okay, I thought once Quinn was gone, things would finally quiet down...but, I was wrong. I can't stand these people..all they do is talk, talk TALK!" Hannah tugs on her hair, "It drives me crazy! I'm telling you right now, nothing is going to stop me from winning this game, because when I do win, I'm buying a house out in the middle of nowhere, so I don't have to deal with these psychos anymore!" --Confessional--

-- "I really wanted to talk to Jessica some more...but I think I should give it some time. She still doesn't seem to happy with me, so I figure I'll give her a few days to cool off. In the meantime, I've been thinking about my own problem," Shannon pauses, and looks at her rubber gloves. --Confessional--

The rest of the contestants take turns using the confessional, until Chris announces the start of the challenge. "Okay kids, today's genre is....slasher horror movies, commonly referred to as, dead teenager movies! Isn't that exciting?" The contestants stare uncomfortably at Chris.

"Uh, not really..." David says.

"Oh, you," Chris chuckles, "Anyway, for your challenge, you will travel through the three quintessential setting of classic slasher films, 'the graveyard', 'the old abandoned summer camp', and 'the creepy looking house on the equally creepy looking hill'. Our slasher, played by the lovely and talented Chef, will hunt you kooky kids through the first two locations until the set time limit is up. In the third location, he'll hunt you until only one of you remains 'alive', haha!"

"What's the first location?" Jessica asks.

"The first location is the 'graveyard'," Chris says, "Everyone on the bus, so we can head over to Lot 26." Chris and the teens head onto the bus, and drive to Lot 26.

The teens exit the bus, to find themselves in a large, extravagant graveyard. Crumbling tombstones, overgrow moss, and eerie statues blanket the entire area, which seems to go on for miles. Chris leans out of the bus and says, "Your challenge starts...NOW! In ten minutes, the 'survivors' will move on to the second location!"

The teams break off from each other, with the Femme Fatales going east, and Team Masculine heading west.

Team Masculine follows Andrew, who leads them through the dilapidated gravestones. He stops infront of an unusually large headstone, covered in moss.

"What does it say?" David asks. Andrew wipes the moss away with his hand, and squints as he reads, "RIP 'The Drama Brothers', December 2009-April 2010."

"Who the heck are 'The Drama Brothers'?" Edward walks up to the headstone, and looks at the inscription.

"I'm not sure, but they sound like sell-outs," Andrew sneers. The other boys nod in agreement.

The Femme Fatales have formed a hundle, exceot for Wendy, who has been pushed aside.

"We've got to throw this challenge," Francine says.

"What? But we'll have to send someone home!" Victoria cries out.

"Exactly," Francine says, "We all know Wendy is lying, so if we throw the challenge, we can all vote her out. We'll all be safe, her elimination will be a sure thing."

All of the girls, exept for Shannon, smile enthusiastically, and nod in agreement.

No sooner do they break the huddle, Chef Hatchet, dressed in his slasher garb, appears in the distance.

"Oh no. It's the killer," Hannah says, unenthusiastically.

"Um, let's like, run, or something. Ahhhhhh," Victoria waves her hands slowly, looking bored.

"Guys, what the heck? Let's get out of here!" Wendy calls frantically to her team, who begin fast-walking away from the charging Chef. Wendy groans, and runs off by herself. Chef quickly catches up to the Femme Fatales, and 'kills' all of them, minus the escaping Wendy. Moments later, Chris announces the end of the challenge's first part.

"Wow...you girls are really bad at this, you only have one team member left in the game. Team Masculine is still operating at full strength," Chris chuckles, "Now, let's head to your second location, 'the abandoned summer camp'!"

Team Masculine, and Wendy, walk to a nearby lot, the inside of which has been dressed to look like a deserted summer camp, conplete with lake and fog.

"Okay dudes and dudette, the challenge will start once all of you are inside the cabin!" The teens scurry inside the cabin, and Andrew slams the door behind them.

He looks to the other teens, and says, "Okay people, to survive a horror movie, all you have to do is use your head. So as long as you don't do anything stupid, selfish, stupid or stupid, you'll survive."

"You said 'stupid' three times," Parker says.

"I wanted to make sure everyone remembered that one," Andrew replies.

Tristan walks up, and whispers in Andrew's ear, "Hey, why are you telling us how to survive when she's listening," Tristan says, pointing to Wendy.

"Don't worry about her," Andrew whispers back, "There's seven of us, and one of her, what are the odds she'll survive?"

Tristan nods, and looks over, "Hey, where did David go?"

The camera cuts to outside, David is holding his stomach, "I knew drinking seven root beers before the challenge was a bad idea...Now, where's that outhouse?" David looks around, and finally spots one. He happily walks over to it, a flash of lightening reveals the outline of a large figure a few yard behind him.

Back in the cabin, Gerald says, "We've got to go look for him, c'mon, someone come with me!"

Andrew stops him, "It's too late for him, now. He was dead the moment he left the cabin."

Back outside, David opens the outhouse door, and thirty bats, a black cat, and a ghost fly out. "Whoa, that was weird," David puases for a moment, and shrugs before closing the outhouse door behind him. Another flash of lightening shows the shadow of the large figure cast over the door of the outhouse.

Back inside, Gerald argues with Andrew, "There could still be time, maybe Chef Slash'em hasn't found him yet!"

Andrew shakes his head, "I'm telling you, things are already in motion, it's only a matter of time before Chef comes here. So, instead of worrying, we should fortify the weak points in here," Andrew looks around at the broken windows, loose floorboards, and family of sparrows nesting in the rafters, "And it looks like there's a lot of them."

Back outside, "Ah, what a relief that was," David smiles. Seconds later, the door to the outhouse is ripped off, "AHHH! Oh my God!" David screams frantically, as the killer raises his weapon, (a plastic machete). "Wait!" David cries out as he cowers, "Let me pull my pants up first!" The killer nods, and lowers his weapon. David pulls his pants up, and gives a thumbs up to the killer, who promptly 'murders' him.

Inside the cabin, everyone hears the screams. "What did I tell you," Andrew sighs, "Now, before anyone does anything else to get themselves 'killed', let's go over some rules to survive. Number one, never go off alone. Number two, never say 'I'll be right back', and three, don't stand near any doors or windows."

Kevin comes out of the cabin's kitchen, and stands next to the door, "Look, everyone," he holds up a bag of marshmallows, "Who wants a marshmallow?" An arm bursts through the door, grabbing Kevin by the neck, "AHHH! There was absolutely no way to prevent this completely unforseeable event!" He yells as the arm pulls him out of the cabin through the hole.

--Confessional-- Kevin, looking embarassed, says, "Okay, not my brightest moment.." --Confessional--

Andrew slaps his forehead, and rolls his eyes, "Okay, everyone follow me!" Andrew leads the remaining teens into the kitchen, closing the door, "Now, help me move this refridgerator infront of the door!"

Wendy and Parker begin trying to open the kitchen's only window, while Tristan, Edward, Gerald and Andrew begins pushing the refridgerator over, getting it partially in front of the door, when the killer's arm pushes the door open, slightly, grabbing Gerald by the arm.

"Help! He's got me! Don't let him take me!" Gerald calls out for help, as the killer slowly begins pulling him through the partially open door. Tristan and Andrew grab his other arm, but the killer is too strong, and Gerald is lost. The boys, and Wendy, quickly push the refridgerator all the way in front of the door, and move away.

"Gah, I can't get it open," Parker groans, as he frantically tries to push the window up.

"Let me see it," Andrew says. Parker moves out of the way, and Andrew looks at the window sill, he shouts in anger, "It's been nailed shut!" At the other end of the room, Chef charges the door, knocking the refridgerator to the ground. He slowly walks into the kitchen, eyeing the trapped teens. He grabs Tristan, who is closest, and 'slashes' him.

"Gahh....ugh..." Tristan moans, as Chef drops him, and begins closing in on the other four teens. As he is about to take them all out with one swing of his 'machete', Chris blows a whistle.

"Congradulations to you four! You've all made it to the third, and final part of today's challenge! Wendy is all the Femme Fatales have left, while Team Masculine still has Andrew, Edward and Parker."

Tristan gets up off the ground, "Man, that was freaky. I was really scared for a second, haha," he chuckles. David and Gerald walk into the kitchen, joining the group,

Chris points to Tristan, Gerald and David, "You three casualties can head to the bus, and join the Femme Fatales, while these four take on the final challenge," Chris throws his thumb over his shoulder, gesturing to the four remaining players.

--Confessional-- "If there's one thing I've learned from watching slasher flicks, it's that girls tend to fare better than boys do," Andrew says, "I've only seen a very small amount of horror movies where a guy survives, as opposed to a girl, so I've got to be on my toes if I want to win this." --Confessional--

--Confessional-- Wendy frowns, "I overheard my team's plans...," she sighs, deeply, "I'm really not lying...Well, you know what? I can win this challenge by myself, and then they can't vote me off. Maybe that'll buy me some time to try and talk this out with them..." --Confessional--

Chris leads the four 'surviving' teens to the next lot over, "Welcome to location three, the 'creepy house on the equally creepy hill'. This will be the final part of today's challenge, and since Wendy is the only member of her team left, it will end either when all of the boys have been 'slashed', or when she is. Good luck, chumps."

"What did you call us?" Edward glares at Chris.

"I said, good luck, champs!" Chris laughs, as he closes the door to the lot. From outside, his voice booms from a megaphone, "Challenge begins in three minutes, whether you're in the house, or not!"

The four teens survey their surroundings. The hill is unnaturally steep, and it's grass is brown, and withered. The house itself is reminisent of Dracula's castle.

"Okay, everyone, we better get moving," Edward gestures for the others to follow him up the long path, leading to the front door.

"This sucks," Parker kicks a single pebble as he walks, "People like me never survive these things..."

"You mean gay guys?" Wendy asks.

"I mean guys in general. We're death magnets in these kind of movies, incase you haven't noticed," Parker sighs. No sooner does he finish his statement, Parker is lifted into the air from behind. The other contestants look on in horror as he struggles in vain against the killer's grip.

"Run, you idiots!" Parker shouts, seconds before being 'killed'. The killer drops his body carelessly.

"Ouch!" Parker groans, when he hits the ground. The killer looks at him, "You're dead, kid. Dead people don't say 'ouch' when they're dropped, they 'thud'"

Parker rolls his eyes, and goes back to playing dead. Meanwhile, Wendy, Andrew and Edward are literally running for their lives, as they desperately scamper up the driveway, towards the front door. Mere yards from the door, Edward trips.

"Agh! Guys, help me!" He holds his knee, and groans in pain. Wendy and Andrew hesitate, and look to the door, and back to him. Reluctantly, Andrew runs over, and slings Edward over his shoulder.

"Now, let's get insi--" Andrew is cut off my the sound of Wendy slamming the front door closed, behind her. He also hears the sound of a lock. "She didn't..." Andrew stops, when he feels the soft pressure of breath on his neck., "Edward...that's you, right?" Andrew slowly turns around, just in time to see Chef swinging his 'machete'.

Chris blows his whistle, "Well, with that, we have our winners! The Femme Fatales!" Andrew and Edward grumbles, as Wendy cheers from inside the creepy house, "Now, you three get on the bus."

As they shuffle onto the bus, Parker asks, "Who won?" Edward and Andrew bitterly point at Wendy. Everyone, including the other Femme Fatales, sigh in disappointment. Wendy's eyes water slightly, and he face shows the hurt she is feeling.

Andrew whispers in Tristan's ear, "Tell everyone except David and Kevin to vote for either of those two, they did pretty bad out there, today." Tristan nods, as the bus starts up, and the teens begins heading back to the film lot.

--Gilded Chris Ceremony--

A montage of Chris' best, and the castmates' most painfully embarassing moments play, as Chris enters the stage holding a plate of six awards.

"Team Masculine, welcome to your second elimination ceremony. I think we all know whose going home tonight," Chris points at Kevin, who glares at him, "Under your seats, you will find your voting devices. Cast your vote for the person you want eliminated," the castmates do so, and Chef Hatchet hands Chris a slip of paper, "The votes have been cast, and the Gilded Chris' go to....Gerald, Edward and.....Tristan," Chris takes a handful of three awards, and throws them out to the safe contestants, "Next, is Parker," Chris throws Parker his awards, "Andrew is also safe," Chris throws the second-to-last award out to Andrew.

David and Kevin look shocked, and turn to face each other.

"Ah, dude, no.." Gerald says, obviously worried about his friend's status.

"The final Gilded Chris goes to...................."

"................................................................"

"........................................................................."

"David," Chris throws David the final award, "Kevin, it's time to take the Walk of Shame!"

Kevin sighs, and gets up, "I guess my bad luck was just on vacation..." As he is about to reach the Lame-o-Sine, Gerald calls out,

"Wait! Chris, let me take Kevin's place!"

Kevin looks confused, "Dude, what are you doing? After all the progress you've made, you want to throw it away, just like that?"

Gerald heads down the Walk of Shame, "I'm not throwing it away. After all, the only way to see if I've actually learned anything is to put it to the test in the real world, right?" Gerald smiles, "Dude, you deserve this more than I do, please, let me do this."

Kevin smiles, and he and Gerald bump fists. Chris calls out angrily from the stage, "Somebody get in the Lame-o-Sine, already!"

Gerald opens the door, "Good luck, bro, I'll be rooting for you!" He closes the door, and the Lame-o-Sine drives off, leaving a cloud of dust in it's wake.

Chris' arm comes out of nowhere, and slings itself around Kevin's shoulder, "Another friendship split up! Dude, I love this show! Be sure to join us next week, for the most dramatic episode ever, of Total......Drama.....Action!"

As Kevin walks back to the trailer, Edward says, "Guess your bad luck really is gone."

Kevin frowns, "My best friend just left, because of me...it hasn't gone anywhere, it's just changed shape.."

Chapter Five: "The Aftermath"
The Total Drama Action Aftermath logo flashes across the screen, as the camera zooms in on the aftermath stage. There are three couches on the stage. A large on on the far left, an equally large couch on the far right, and a smaller, comfortable looking couch directly in the middle of the stage. Seated on the far right couch are Laura, Steven, Rachael and Charlie. Nicole and Morgan are seated on the smaller, comfortable couch.

"Well, hey there everybody!" Nicole chirps, "We're here on the set of the first ever Total Drama Action Aftermath!"

"Actually, this is technically the fifth Aftermath," Steven says from the side, "You know...just saying..."

Nicole's eye twitches, she glares at Steven ever so briefly, and returns to her usual, cheerful self, "We're here today in order to find out what those of us who didn't make it to season two have been up to! Isn't that exciting? We'll also have special guest appearances by the first four eliminated castmates! I'm just gooey with excitment! Aren't you, Morgan?"

Morgan is sitting with his arms crossed, "I shoulda been on season two....," he grumbles.

Nicole stares at him blankly for a few seconds, "......Anyway, we'll check back with Morgan a little later in the show! Let's see what our old friends have been up to! Laura, care to begin?"

Laura clears her throat, "Well, in the time since my elimination, I've gone on to produce my very own sports beverage," Laura smiles, and holds up a can of her drink, the label reads, "X-TREME PROTEIN! IT'S LIKE MEAT IN A CAN!", with an illustration of a steak skateboarding down a recently erupted volcano, "We also have a diet version," Laura holds up a similar looking can, whose label reads, "DIET PROTEIN! IT'S LIKE TOFU IN A CAN!".

"Oh, let me try some!" Steven exclaims. Laura tosses him a can, and he takes a sip, "Mmm....hey, what does it mean if your left arm goes numb?"

"I dunno. The healthiest thing you can do is ignore it....and sign this release form stating my product has nothing to do with it," Laura says nervously, and whips out a clipboard, holding a legal document.

"Well, alright," Steven shrugs, and signs the document with his right hand.

"Moving along...," Nicole says, "Rachael, how's the has-been life treating you?"

"Terribly," Rachael scowls, "I'm still grounded. Today is the first day in nearly three months that my parents have let me leave the house for something other than school."

After about ten seconds of silence, Charlie, Steven, Laura and Morgan burst out laughing. Rachael's scowl becomes much more intense.

Nicole, obviously trying to stiffle her own laughter, moves things along, "Baby, what have you been up to?"

Charlie smiles sly, "Well, babe, after my elimination, I only had five dollars in my pocket. So, I went down to my local casino, showed 'em my fake ID, and played the slots. I think I racked up some pretty good dough, considerin' I'm the one whose producing dis thing," Charlie puts his hands behind his head, and reclines, "I also bought those diamonds my girl currently has in 'er ears," Charlie moves one arm out from behind his head, and points to Nicole's diamond earrings, "And, with what I had left, I paid off 'The Spoon', so he didn't, you know, like break my legs, and stuff."

A disclaimer flashes across the screen, "Total Drama does not endorse underage gambling or the use of fake I.D.'s. Using fake identification is illegal, do not attempt it."

"Gambling? That's a swell message to send to the kids, Chuck," Laura rolls her eyes.

Charlie, looking insulted, retorts, "Oh, and giving people heart attacks is a better one?"

Both look over to see Steven drinking another can of Laura's beverage, his left arm is laying motionless on the cushions of the couch, "....What?" Steven says.

"What have you been up to, Steven?" Nicole smiles.

"Well," Steven sets his can down, and apparently regains movement in his left arm, "I've gone on to market my very own brand of T-Vests," Steven holds up a magazine article showcasing holiday themed T-Vests, "We've got a T-Vest for every holiday occasion. Christmas, Groundhog Day, Arbor Day, Mother and Father's Day, Thanksgiving, the list is endless. Our slogan, 'T-Vests, the Soul Patch of Upper Torso Wear', has become an internet phenomenon. Since our line debuted, crime rates, poverty, and the percentage of nerds who can't find girlfriends has dropped sharply all over Michigan," Steven smiles proudly, "Eighty percent of my salary has gone to the 'Steven W. Home for Homeless Kittens'. Another eighteen percent went to funding for my new reality show, 'Are You Sexier Than a T-Vest Wearer?'. The final two percent went towards my own personal dream, owning the time travelling car from the Back to the Future trilogy. The time circuits are being prepared as we speak, and soon I will embark on my own exodus....travelling through time, righting things that once went wrong," Steven's eyes close, and nods his head, slowly.

"And we're back," Nicole announces cheerfully.

"Wait, what?" Steven exclaims, "Did you guys go to commercial while I was talking?"

"Before, actually," Nicole smiles, "Guess the viewers at home will have to check our website to see what Steven has been up to!" Steven frowns, and finshes his drink in one gulp. His left eye spasms violently for a few seconds, after doing so.

"Alrighty, Morgan, care to share your escapades?" Nicole turns to her co-host.

Morgan smiles, and looks directly into the camera, "What up, my peeps? It's the big 'M' here, did you miss me? I thought so. So, anyways, since my totally unfair elimination, I've been cutting tracks with the hottest acts in the music biz!" Morgan crosses his arms, and looks smugly into the camera.

"I think we have a clip of Morgan's musical career!" Nicole says, excitedly.

Morgan's face jumps from smug to scared, "What? No! No! Please, I'm begging you, don't show it!"

"Well, the audience is begging to see it, so, here goes!" Nicole's smile is a little sadistic, this time. She takes out a remote, and presses a blue button. A screen lowers from the ceiling. She hits a green button, and the clip plays. On screen is a child's birthday party. Morgan and another man, both wearing makeup and clown costumes, walk on screen.

"Happy birthday to you....Happy birthday to you....Happy birthday, dear Wendel..." Morgan mumbles. The other clown hits Morgan in the back of his head with a rubber chicken.

"More feeling!" the angry clown commands. Morgan snatches the remote from Nicole, and shuts the clip off.

"Uh, hehehhe..." he laughs nervously, before lowering his head in shame, "Oh, look at the time, isn't it about time we introduced the eliminated contestants?"

"How right you are, Morgan!" Nicole laughs, "She was on the top of her game last season, but got the bottom of the totem pole this season, please welcome....Zuma!"

Zuma walks in, and waves to the audience. She takes a seat on the far left couch.

"So Zuma, how does it feel to be eliminated in the first episode? I bet you feel like a giant loser, huh?" Morgan chuckles.

Zuma frowns, "So Morgan, how does it feel to be kicked between the legs?"

Morgan looks confused, "I haven't been kicked--" Zuma stands up, and kicks Morgan between the legs, "....It's an unimaginable pain..."

"Being the first person sent home is an unimaginable feeling, really," Zuma says, "Especially after making it so far in the first game. It's kind of embarassing, and it's really disappointing," Zuma sighs.

"Aw, don't worry about it, honey, we still love you! Right guys?" Nicole turns to the other contestants who did not qualify. They nod, happily. Steven gestures his hand in the 'rock on' symbol, and goes, "WOOO!!!"

Zuma smiles fondly, "Oh, that's so sweet of you, guys.."

"What are your plans, now that your quest for the money has ended?" Morgan asks, obviously reading off of a cue card.

"Well, I suppose I'll go back to the independant music store, where I work, and try to set up my band's debut album," Zuma shrugs, "So, if you guys ever hear of Partially Hydrogenated Space Caterpillar, it's me," Zuma says.

"What kind of music do you play, yo?" Morgan asks, surprisingly intrigued.

"Indie rock, and the occasional rap-metal song, " Zuma says.

Morgan's eyes grow wide, "I think I love you..."

"What was that?" Zuma questions, looking slighty uncomfortable.

'I think he said that it's time for our next guest!" Nicole interjects, "So, here comes Quinn, everyone!"

Quinn walks on stage and is greeted by a chorus of 'boos' and moderately heavy objects, including batteries, umbrellas and shoes being thrown in her general direction.

"Welcome, Quinn!" Nicole greets her.

Quinn scowls, "I don't feel very welcome."

"That's probably because you aren't! Haha, everyone hates you!" Morgan teases. Nicole glares at him.

"Well," Nicole returns to her perky self, "I have a question for both of you. Why do you think you were eliminated?"

Quinn takes a deep breath, "Well, I think the girls just saw me as a threat, and wanted to eliminate me before the merge. After all, I did tie for winner, last season."

Morgan stiffles his laughter, "Oh really? Care to see this?" Morgan presses a button on the remote, and the screen plays another clip. The clip is the scene of the girls celebrating Quinn's elimination, laughing and cheering while standing near her empty bed.

Quinn gasps, and begins crying. She stands, and runs off the stage. "Oh, crap," Morgan winces. Nicole smacks him.

"Um," Zuma frowns, "I think after competing on nearly every episode of last season, I was just really, really stress out. The stress got to me, and I snapped on people easily," Zuma stands up, "I'm going to go look for Quinn..."

"Well, while Zuma goes to look for Quinn, our next guest is ready! He bench-pressed his way into your hearts, Reese!" Nicole points off stage, as Reese stumbles in, the audience cheers wildly, throwing bouquets of flowers, chocolates, and small pieces of workout equipment.

"Yo, dawg, how's life treating you?" Morgan snaps his fingers, and points at Reese.

"Pretty good, Big 'M'," Reese smiles dumbly, "I miss my friends who are still in the contest, but it's nice to be able to relax, again."

"Ah, how true that is," Morgan reclines in his seat, "How do you relax, bro dawg?"

"Well, I start with a refreshing three kilometer jog, followed by about two-hundred sit ups," Reese yawns, "That's the weekend way to relax."

"Jeez Louise," Nicole chuckles, "Well, I believe we have a video guest!" Nicole takes the remote from Morgan, and presses a red button. The screen flashes, and a portly young man, with a ball cap and a t-shirt that says, 'I Brake For Corn Chips', comes into view.

"Hey, hey, hey! Wazzup, my brother? It's me, Chuggy! Anyway, I just wanted to know, what your favorite experience from either season has been."

Reese taps his chin with his finger, "Hmm, well, Chuggy, I would have to say my favorite experience would be the first time our team won a challenge, in the first season. It was such an awesome feeling back then, and I don't think I'll ever forget it."

"Any advice for your fans, if they decide to sign up for a reality show?" Morgan asks.

Reese's eye twitches, "Whatever you do, never, NEVER, join a season of Total Drama....please, listen to me, you'll thank me later..."

Nicole chuckles, nervously, "Umkay, we have just enough time for our final guest. He was the first one out last season, but managed to last....a little longer this season, here he is....Gerald!"

Gerald walks out, smiling and waving to the cheering fans.

"Gerald, you were doing much better this season, what made you decide to give your place up to Kevin?" Nicole smiles, as she asks her former teammate the question.

Gerald shrugs, "I joined so I could use the money to get help for my fears. Kevin managed to help me out, greatly. So, I already had what I wanted, I figured it would be selfish of me to go after money that I no longer needed, while my friend went home."

"Yeah, well, what if Kevin is like, the next one to be voted off? It would have been a waste then, right? I mean, you could have won, and then given him the money," Morgan says.

"Um....well, uh...I.." Gerald looks confused, and becomes inarticulate.

"Yo, it looks like you got a video caller, thing," Morgan says. He takes the remote back, and presses a button. A boy with a bowl haircut, and crazy red eyes appears on screen. He says nothing, but only laughs. His laughter continues for thirty seconds, before Nicole snatches the remote from Morgan, and shuts the screen off.

"Was that a kid, or some kind of evil leprechaun?" Rachael looks disturbed.

"My vote goes to evil leprechaun," Charlie gulps.

"Well, that's all the time we have for this episode! Join us next time, for another Total Drama Action Aftermath!" Nicole declares cheerfully. Steven calls from off screen, "Can one of you guys drive me to the hospital? My left arm is numb, again."

The camera zooms out, the Aftermath logo flahses quickly, and then the screen goes black.

Chapter Six: "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Kick to the Face!"
The contestants quietly eat their breakfast, which, as usual, is near inedible gruel.

"You know, you'd think that the needlessly dangerous challenges were enough, but no. We have to eat this crap, too," Parker sighs. His team shrugs, too tired to form full opinions on the matter.

Victoria holds a spork curiously, "So, is this suppose to be a spoon...or a fork?"

Hannah rolls her eyes, "Perhaps you've discovered a new tool?"

"Uh! Oh my god! I discovered something! I shall call it....The Foon..," Victoria gasps, and marvels at her apparent 'discovery'.

"Okay, gals, it's time to talk strategy," Francine narrows her eyes, "Chris is a guy, and what kind of movies do guys love more than any kind?" Shannon raises her hand, Francine ignores her, "That's right, kung fu movies. Naturally, it would only be a matter of time before Chris created a kung fu movie challenge, and judging by his late arrival this morning, I'd bet my collection of identical pink dresses he's setting up for a martial arts entrance."

"Chris is late every morning," Hannah says, slightly agitated, "It doesn't mean he's setting up for some kind of grand entr---" Hannah is interrupted by Chris, who, while suspended from safty wires, plunges down from the ceiling. He is dressed as a blackbelt, and carries a staff.

"Greetings, castmates. Can you guess what today's challenge is? Chris starts posing, and attempts to speak without matching his lips to his words.

"Help Chris find his helmet and straight jacket?" Tristan chuckles, as Edward high-fives him. Chris, lightning quick, smacks Tristan in the back of his head with his staff.

"Close, it's Kung Fu movie day! Now, I think we'll skip story structure, plot, backstory and all of the other boring, unimportant aspects of fighting movies, and just focus on the awesome fight scenes," Chris says. Team Masculine cheers, the Femme Fatales mumble, "The challenge will be, each team will step inside a ring that our unpaid interns have constructed outside of this mess hall tent, you will fight each other until only one person remains, or all of one team has been forces out of the ring. Good luck, and let's get to it!"

Outside, both teams enter the massive ring, and pair off. Kevin and Jessica look angrily to one another, while Shannon and Tristan awkwardly glare. David and Victoria flex their nonexistent muscles, Parker and Hannah look bored and uninterested. Edward and Wendy make ridiculous gestures towards each other, while Andrew and Francine have a full-fledge fight monolouge.

Chris stands next to the ring, he takes out a whistle, "On your mark...get set....beat each other to a bloody pulp!" Chris blows the whistle, and the teams rush each other, except Parker and Hannah, who walk briskly.

Edward runs up to Wendy, and makes like he is going to karate chop her. Wendy catches him by the wrist, and attempts to flip him over her shoulder. Edward laughs, as his girth proves too much for her, and sweep kicks her feet, knocking her to the ground.

Kevin and Jessica runs full speed at each other, and end up colliding, knocking each one to the ground. Jessica is on her feet first, and lifts Kevin up by his shirt, "This is for destroying my homeland!" she shouts, as she swings him around and around. Kevin sticks his feet out, and stops her.

"Sorry about this, little lady," Kevin heaves Jessica over his shoulder, and begins walking towards the edge of the ring.

Tristan and Shannon slowly walk towards each other, "So, hey, no hard feelings about this, or anything, right?" Tristan scratches the back of his head nervously.

"Nope, no hard feelings at all," Shannon's hand lashes out, grabbing Tristan's nose, "By the way, got your nose," Shannon swings the jock around by his nose.

"Hey, what the--" Shannon releases him, sending him stumbling uncontrollably into the Jessica-toting Kevin, knocking all three out of the ring.

David and Victoria continue making flexing poses, and unintelligable growls. Shannon sneaks up behind David, and locks her arms around his waist, "Sorry, kiddo. Just business," she smiles, and hurls him out of the ring. Victoria continues flexing, and growling, seemingly oblivious to David's departure.

Andrew and Francine rush towards each other, and simultaneously execute a jump kick. Their kicks meet in the air, forcing both backwards. Andrew and Francine manage to land perfectly on their feet, and speed towards each other again. Francine strikes out with a punch, Andrew deflects it, and counters with a knee kick. Francine catches his knee, and shoves him backwards. Andrew glares, and gestures for Francine to attack. Francine grinds her teeth, and slowly begins moving in on him.

Meanwhile, Edward is throwing his weight around, literally. Wendy tries to punch the boy, but he counters with a devastating body check. A shockwave like no other pulses through Wendy's body, as she hits the ground. Edward takes the opportunity to pin her to the ring's floor, and cackles triumphantly. Shannon and Victoria, noticing their fallen comrade, rush to her aid. Before Edward can react, Victoria unleashes a half-nelson, and Shannon gives him a wedgie. A tear rolls down Edward's face, and he collaspes to the side. All three girls pool their weight together, and roll Edward out of the ring.

Parker and Hannah have not made much progress, with both standing silently. Shannon, Victoria and Wendy come to Hannah's side, and stare Parker down. Parker sighs, "I know when I'm beat," he kicks up some dirt, and steps out of the ring voluntarily.

"Dude! What are you doing!" David cals from the other side of the ring, "Now Andrew's flying solo in a ring full of chicks!"

"Lucky dog," Edward scoffs.

Parker shrugs, "Sorry guys, but there was obviously no way I could win...It just seemed logical."

Andrew quickly looks around, and sees that he is surrounded by Femme Fatales on all sides.

"So it's come to this," Andrew whispers, "Well then," he raises his voice, "I guess I'll jjust have to take all of you on!"

Shannon and Victoria lung at him, Andrew sidesteps and the girls bump foreheads. He grabs both of their collars, and uses Victoria to deflect an attacking Wendy. Hannah come sin from the left, and Andrew tosses Shannon at her, forcing both girls to topple over. Francine executes a roundhouse kick, but Andrew dodges, and catches her leg. He swings her around, and aims her at Victoria and Wendy, who are getting back to their feet. Andrew releases her, and Francine's impact throws the other two girls out of the ring, but Francine remains. Shannon and Hannah jumps onto Andrew's back, and latch on, Andrew responds by falling backwards, crushing the girls beneath him. He jumps up, and both girls groan, clearly having little fight left in them. Andrew quickly pushes them outside the boundary, and turns to face Francine. The Femme Fatales leaps into the air, and lands a kick on Andrew's stomach, the boy clutches her foot, and both topple out of the ring.

Chris claps, pleased, "Well, that was quite the match. Master Shogun McLean is pleased."

"Chris, who wins?" Kevin asks.

"Hmm...well, Andrew did hit the ground first...and I'm a sucker for blondes, so the winners are the Femme Fatales!"

The Femme Fatales crowd around Francine, and give her a group hug, after forcing Wendy away, she declares, "Chris, thats great! And, a little creepy...but great nontheless! Let the records show that I, Francine, hath kicked the crap out of yonder toadie!" she laughs, and points at Andrew, who is brushing dirt off his pants.

Chris turns to the disgruntled Team Masculine, "Boys, I'll see you at the Gilded Chris Ceremony....again."

Both teams return to their trailers. Inside the Masculine trailer, nobody says a single word, and the air is thick and tense. Parker finally speaks up, "Hey, everyone, can I speak to Tristan for a minute?" The other boys nod, and leave, except for Tristan.

"So, um, what's up?" Tristan asks nervously.

Parker stands up, and walks over to Tristan, and sits next to him, "I've notices that you seem to be uncomfortable around me. It's little things..making excuses so you don't have to be around me, things like that. So, I'd like to know, why are you doing that?"

Outside, the other four boys wait impatiently.

"Ugh, it's freezing out here, are they down, yet?" Edward groans.

Andrew sighs, "Hang on a tick, I'll go see," Andrew gets up, and slowly opens the door.

Tristan is silent. Parker frowns, "Is it because I'm gay?"

Tristan, slowly, nods. Parker nods as well, "I see."

Andrew steps back outside, "Guys, guys! C'mon, come here! Do you what I just heard? Tristan's been getting out of challenges, and acting weird because Parker is gay. Can you believe that?"

The other boys, except Kevin, murmur angrily to each other.

"I say we go in there, and give Tristan a piece of our mind, and then we can vote him out," Andrew says quietly. Edward and David agree.

Kevin speaks up, "Well, maybe we should ask him about it, and see if there's more to the story. Tristan doesn't seem like the hateful type, and he has been trying to make up for last season..."

"Do what you wish," Andrew says, but we're taking action. Andrew, Edward and David storm into the trailer, surprising both Parker and Tristan.

"I heard what was said, you homophobic swine," Andrew steps up to Tristan, "He's your teammate, and you need to respect him, regardless of what your ignorant beliefs are," Andrew stares angrily into Tristan's frightened eyes. Edward and David stand adamantly behind Andrew, but do not say anything. Kevin watches from the doorway.

Tristan stands up, and steps back, "No, you don't understand! Look, my parents raised me to think that homosexuality was wrong. But, I don't have anything against Parker personally, I think he's a nice guy...I'm just not sure what I believe right now. I've only been avoiding him because I didn't want to say something that might offend him. I'm not homophobic, I swear! I'm just trying to figure out what I am and am not okay with, you know?" Tristan puts his hands up defensively.

"That's the biggest load of crap I've heard all season long," Andrew begins advancing towards Tristan again. Parker steps in.

"Look, Andrew, I appreciate that you and the others are so ready to defend me, it shows that you guys really do think of me as a friend, but you can't intimidate him," Parker points to Tristan, "just because he was raised a different way. If you all accept me for being different, then you have to accept him, as well, or at least respect that he has his own opinions. It works both ways, otherwise it's hypocritical."

Andrew looks both furious, and embarassed. Parker, calmly, asks, "Were you all going to vote him out tonight?" Andrew says nothing, but Edward and David slowly nod their heads, and look towards the ground in shame. Parker speask up again, "Look, I did the worst in the challenge, today, I should be the one going home. Please, you all know what the right choice is," Parker finishes just as the Gilded Chris fanfare plays.

"We should probably get going," Kevin says, and leaves quietly. Edward and David follow, and finally, Andrew does as well. Parker begins leaving as well, but Tristan speaks up, "Hey, Parker...I really appreciate that, bro. You're a good guy, and I have nothing against you, but I'm still not sure what I think is right."

"It's fine, I'm sure you'll figure it out, in time," Parker smiles, faintly, and begins leaving again. Tristan calls out one more time, "I'm not sure how to thank you..."

"Nobody's asking you to," Parker replies, as he leaves the trailer. Tristan, standing alone, nods, and heads to the ceremony.

--Gilded Chris Ceremony--

A montage of Chris' best, and the castmates' most painfully embarassing moments play, as Chris enters the stage holding a plate of five awards.

"Team Masculine, welcome to your third ceremony in a row. I think anyone could be going home," Chris chuckles, but the castmates remain silent, "Under your seats, you will find your voting devices. Cast your vote for the person you want eliminated," the castmates do so, and Chef Hatchet hands Chris a slip of paper, "The votes have been cast, and the first Gilded Chris' goes to....Kevin. The next person who is safe is....David," Chris throws the two awards out to the safe contestants, "Next, is Edward," Chris throws the award out, "Tristan is also safe," Chris throws the Gilded Chris to Tristan, leaving Andrew stunned. Chris continues, "The final award goes to......"

"........................................................."

"......................................................"

"Andrew," Chris tosses the final Gilded Chris to Andrew, who is too stunned to catch it. Parker stands up, "I was never one for words, so I'll just go ahead and catch the limosine,"

"Lame-O-Sine," Chris corrects.

"Right," Parker rolls his eyes, "Anyway, before I go, you guys are awesome, and I think of each of you as a friend. Thank you to everyone who voted out the right person, tonight," Parker waves his final goodbye, walks down the Red Carpet of Shame, and leaves in the waiting Lame-O-Sine.

"And with that, we're down to eleven! Join us next time for another shocking episode of....Total.....Drama....Action!" Chris signs off, and heads backstage.

Edward and David walk over to Tristan, "Hey, sorry, dude...we cool?" David asks. Tristan nods.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, too..." Edward says, reluctantly. Tristan knuckle taps him, to show his forgiveness. Andrew stands up, quickly, and brushes past Tristan.

"This isn't over," he whispers, and disappears towards the trailer. Tristan gulps, and the camera fades out over the film lot.

Chapter Seven: "Blaming Private Ryan"
Chris McLean, clad from head-to-toe in a World War II military uniform, stands next to a cannon, and Chef Hatchet, who is dressed as a military pilot.

"You know what, Chef? Olive drab really brings out my eyes," Chris smiles, as he looks at his own reflection in the gleaming metal of the cannon. Chef, unimpressed, rolls his eyes, and lights the fuse at the end of the cannon. The cannon explodes with a formidible, 'boom', as the fired shell launches across the film lot. The cannon ball flies through the air, heading for a straight on collision with Team Masculine's trailer. Inside the trailer, the guys are making idle chit chat.

Edward, in the midst of a story, lounges on an empty bunk, "So anyway, I says to the guy, Cheez-Its are NOT the same as Cheese Nips," the other guys nod in agreement.

"The ignorance of some people," David sighs. No sooner does David finish his sentence, the rouge cannon ball smashes through the team's trailer. Andrew, David, Kevin and Tristan drop to the ground. Edward, who was laying on a top bunk, spasms, and falls over the edge, his shorts catch on the corner of the bunk, and he is left hanging in midair.

--Confessional-- "I'm not sure what happened!" David scrambles into the confessional, "One minute, we're having a intellectual group discussion, the next mintues, kablooie! There's a hole in a trailer the size of Nova Scotia!" --Confessional--

The members of Team Masculine who dropped to the floor raise up, cautiously. "C'mon, dudes, let's go outside and see what's going on!" Kevin waves for the other to follow him, as he jets through the trailer's door. They comply, leaving Edward dangling upside down.

"Hello..? Guys? Is anyone going to help me down?" Edward groans. His pants uncatch, and he hits the floor, head first. "I hate this show.....with gusto," he gripes.

Outside, the Femme Fatales have also rushed outside to find the source of the loud noise.

--Confessional-- "It isn't enough that I have to put up with a team full of squawking imbeciles, who prattle on and on about who's right, and who's a traitor, and blah, blah, blah! Now, there's explosions! Who sets off explosions at elevenat night? Chris McLean does, because he's a miserable...," Hannah's confessional is cut short by a knock on the door. A voice soon follows, "Hannah! Let us make haste to see what yonder noise was!" Francine calls from behind the door. Hannah sighs, and smiles falsely, "Be right there!"--Confessional--

Everyone, minus Edward, has found there way to Chris and Chef. Most look angry, upon seeing the cannon.

"Did you shoot a hole through out trailer?" Tristan asks, his glare alternating between Chris, and the smoking barrel of the cannon.

"Nope, wasn't me. Anyway, today's," Chris begins, but is interrupted by Victoria, "Tonight's, you mean," she innocently corrects.

After a few moments of angry silence, Chris continues, "Today's challenge is based on the classic war movie genre. Every since the beginning of everything, man has enjoyed destroying each other. And with the birth of cinema, we can all enjoy that experience in the comforts of home. Except for you guys, today, you'll all engage in your own war! Using state of the art paintball guns! Blue for Team Masculine, and red for the Femme Fatales" Chris picks up a nearby paintball gun, "Painted in neon colors and modeled to look nothing like real guns, just in case someone felt like sueing us over violent content, or something."

Edward skedaddles out of the trailer, and jumps next to his team, "That's for leaving me! Boy, oh, boy, I sure am glad to have a great bunch of friends like you all!"

Andrew rolls his eyes, "What lot, Chris?"

"What lot for what? Anybody mind filling me in on what I missed while I was left to die? What are those guns for? And furthermore, why did someone shoot a gaping hole in our trailer? Did you guys forget about that, like you forgot to help me down?" Edward steams with anger, as the rest of his teams looks at him with concerned faces.

"Dude, chill out, we're sorry..." David backs away slowly.

"Your team can fill you in on the details of today's challenge," Chris says, hesitantly, "Now, everyone head over to lot forty-one. Inside the lot, you'll see a rack of paintball guns, pre-dug trenches, foxholes, and other stuff to hide behind while you shoot at each other. The winner will be the team that can take out the other team, first," Chris explains.

"Obviously," Tristan rolls his eyes, "You say that like the team who loses all it's members first could be the winners," Chris glares at Tristan for a few seconds, and then shoots him in the knee with his paintball gun. Tristan heaves out a painful grunt, and falls to the ground. Andrew stifles his laughter. Kevin and David quickly help Tristan back up onto his feet.

"Oh sure, he gets hurt, everybody rushes to help him. But if Edward's in trouble, let's just leave him to fend for himself!" Edward growls.

Kevin looks upset, "Hey, come on now, we said we wre sorry..." Edward ignores him, and walks off to lot forty-one by himself. Andrew, Kevin, David and Tristan all glance guiltily to one another before heading off to lot forty-one. The Femme Fatales walk with less haste.

"So, it's agreed, if we lose, Wendy is splits-ville," Francine chortles.

Wendy looks concerned by this declaration, "Wait, what?"

"We've had enough of you around here. We don't want a two-face on our team," Francine continues to speak in sing-song.

Shannon looks at Wendy sympathetically, "Francine, I think we should vote out whoever preformed worst in the challenge, if we lose. And besides...I think Wendy was telling the truth."

"What makes you think that?" Francine says, surprised by Shannon's position on the matter, "I spent last season on a team with her, and I've noticed something. Usually when she speaks, she never breaks eye contact until the end of her sentence. But, after being found out, she averts her eyes to the ground every fifth or sixth word. A common practice for those who have something to hide..." Francine eyes Wendy sternly.

Jessica speaks up, "That's silly, don't you think? I think I believe her, too. The poor girl has oured her heart out, trying to get us to believe her. I just don't think she would try that hard if she really was guilty," Jessica stand sby Shannon and Wendy. Francine shrugs.

"Very well, believe what you must. I blame neither of you for your choices. If we lose, we'll see who goes home at the ceremony, I suppose," Francine flicks her wrist, and walks towards lot forty-one.

The teams arrive at lot forty-one, and are amazed to see a full-out battlefield, just as Chris promised.

"Wow, Chris can come up short when it comes to housing, edible food, or medical treatment for us contestants, but he sure knows how to put on a good show," David says, wide-eyed.

"Celebrity Manhunt names your's truly 'Greatest Reality Show Host' every year for a reason, you know," Chris brags.

"How long are you going to ride that scooter, McLean?" Tristan walks by, unimpressed. Chris, who is still holding the paintball gun from earlier, shoots Tristan in the back of the thigh. Tristan, wincing with pain, climbs to his feet. The two teams load up on paintball guns, and head to opposite sides of the battlefield.

"On my whistle, the challenge begins," Chris calls out through his megaphone. After a few seconds, he blows the whistle, and exits the lot.

Team Masculine huddles around Andrew, "Okay, boys, I'll head up the center. Edward and David, you head up the left side, Kevin you go right," Andrew instructs.

"What about me," Tristan asks, confused.

"What about you?" Andrew responds rhetorically, before slowly advancing up the middle of the battlefield.

Kevin puts a hand on Tristan's shoulder, "I could use some backup," Tristan smiles, and the two head right.

On the Femme Fatales' side, Francine has instructed her troops into a trench.

"Just lay low, and we'll mow them down with paint once they get close enough!" Francine whispers confidently. Her team nods in approval.

Midway into the battlefield, Andrew runs into a foxhole. "I'll lay low, and mow them down with paint when they get close enough", he chuckles to himself.

On the left side of the battlefield, Edward and David approach the Femme Fatales' trench.

"Big D. to Little E., no sign of the belligerents, do you copy?" David whispers to Edward.

Edward looks confused, "Um...I don't see them either, if that's what you mean..."

Francine peeks over the top of the trench, "Enemy spotted! Fire at will!" The Femme Fatales unleash a flurry of paintballs at Edward and David, who are left completely in shock, and with little cover.

"Little E.! Little E.!" David calls to Edward, as he returns fire. He gets no response. David looks over to see Edward face down, covered in red paintballs. David shimmies over to Edward, and flips him over, "Little E.! No! You jezebels! You pretend killed him!" David shoots off multiple shots from his weapon.

On the right side, Kevin and Tristan hear David firing.

"Can you tell what's going on?" Trisan asks.

"Naw," Kevin replies, "I'm going to try and better a better look. Kevin stand ups, and manages to peer down the trench. He sees the Femme Fatales, taking cover. David's shots managed to eliminated Shannon and Wendy from the challenge. Kevin raises his paintball gun to fire, but before he can pull the trigger, a paintball whizzes through the air, and hits him in the lower stomach. Kevin drops his gun, and clutches the impact spot. Two more paintballs hit him in the chest. He falls to the ground. Tristan fires at the trench, and holds his fallen comrade.

"Kev! Speak to me!" Tristan shakes him.

Kevin's eyes flicker between open and closed, "So....cold....paint....going to stain my shirt..." Kevin closes his eyes.

Tristan looks tearfully at his friend, he cries out, "Nooo!!" A paintball zips by him, "Oh, crap! I forgot, they're right there!" Tristan drops Kevin, who grunts, and runs towards the foxhole Andrew is huddled behind.

"What are you doing?" Andrew sneers.

"Trying to stay in the game," Tristan says matter-of-factly. Andrew leans over the top of the foxhole, and fires at the trench. He looks to the side, and sees that David has been eliminated from the challenge.

Andrew heaves out a sigh, "We're all that's left."

"Are you serious?" Tristan groans.

"No, I'm joking, you idiot," Andrew shoves him, softly.

Tristan looks serious, "You know, I didn't do anything to you. I sat down with Parker, and we talked about the issue, calmly. You're the one who came in, and started intimidating people," Tristan's face grows stern, as several paintballs fly overhead.

In the trench, Francine and Victoria are the only ones to remain in the challenge.

"We've got them on the ropes, Boss Lady," Victoria chimes happily, Francine pats her on the head, and hands her a piece of hard candy.

"They haven't returned fire ina few minutes, I think one of us should go up there, and see if they're still in this thing," Francine suggests, nervously.

"I'm not going up there," Victoria says flat-out, "I'm not that stupid."

Back in the foxhole, Tristan continues speaking up to Andrew, "I've been trying my best to make up for what I did last season, and I'm contributing to the team now. Parker and I have made our peace. So, why do you continue to treat me like I'm a crook? I think it's because you're too comfortable being up on your high horse that you can't accept that you made a mistake by charging into the situation like that. That must be it, because Edward and David apologized, and everything is cool with them now. You're the only one who still has a problem.."

Andrew looks stunned, "I....You're right..."

Tristan looks confused, "What did you say?"

"I said, you're right. I was angry because of my mistake. I'm so used to being the golden boy, I haven't really learned to take my faults with stride. It never really occurred to me, until you said that...I....I'm sorry. If you and the others can forgive me....maybe we can start acting like a team, again," Andrew's face is completely flushed with guilt.

Tristan looks at him for a few seconds, "You forgave me for what I did last season....it's only fair that I give you another chance, too," Tristan smiles, slightly. The two bump fists, and share a brief smile.

"The girls haven't shot at us in a while, I think we should rush them," Andrew sighs.

"What do we have to lose?" Tristan shrugs, and the boys hop over the foxhole. They rush up to the trench, and see Francine and Victoria arguing.

"You go!" Francine says, "Or I want my hard cnady back!"

"Never! I'll never give it back!" Victoria shouts in response. Both girls glare at each other, and bare their teeth, before looking up, only to see Tristan and Andrew ready to fire.

"Oh, sh--" Victoria is cut off by the barrage of paintballs.

Chris bursts through the lot's door, "Team Masculine wins! Femme Fatales, you're overdue at the ceremony, anyway. See you in an hour!"

Tristan, Andrew, and the 'fallen' members of Team Masculine cheer, while the Femme Fatales groans, and look uncomfortably to each other.

"So, you guys made up?" Edward questions, looking at Tristan and Andrew.

"It sounds weird when you word it that way, but...yeah, pretty much," Tristan shrugs.

The Team Masculine members preforma group high-five, and depart, singing the theme song from The Karate Kid.

--Gilded Chris Ceremony--

"Well, well, haven't seen you girls here in a while," Chris says. The girls glare at him, "Geez, kids today have no sense of humor. Anyway, you all know how it works, vote for the person you want eliminated, and whoever does not receive a Gilded Chris will be sent packing. And you can never come back, ever, ever, ever, forever."

The members of the Femme Fatales follow the routine, which has been imbedded in their brains for some time, by now.

"Well, that sure was fast," Chris announces. Chef Hatchet brings Chris a plate of five awards, and the results of the voting, "Hmm, the votes have been cast, and the first Gilded Chris goes to.....Hannah," Chris lobs the award at Hannah, who barely manages to dodge it. In response, she preforms an obscene hand gesture.

"I get those a lot," Chris laughs, seeing Hannah's hand, "Next, Jessica is safe. Victoria. And.......Francine, is also safe," Chris hands out the awards.

--Confessional-- "I knew who I had to vote for," Wendy says, as she hangs her head in shame, "It was the only choice I could make, really." --Confessional--

--Confessional-- Shannon sits, "I was really confused, being in the bottom two...It was a really, just a horrible feeling. I was especially nervous, since the only other time I was in the bottom two, I was sent away..." --Confessional--

"Shannon, Wendy, the final Gilded Chris goes to..........."

"......................................................."

"............................................................."

"Shannon," Chris announces after a long pause, and throws the final award out, "Wendy, it's time to hit the Lame-o-Sine!"

Wendy gets up, and begins walking to the Lame-o-Sine, Shannon stands up.

"Wait, how did she get eliminated? Jessica and I didn't vote for her, and I doubt Victoria did..." Shannon questions, aloud.

Wendy's eyes begin tearing up, "Shannon.....Francine was right. I did lie. I was stringing Steven along while I had a boyfriend..."

Shannon shakes her head in disbelief, "Why....? But, why would you do that? I trusted you! Do you understand what trust means? I don't think you do!"

"I...I just wanted to stay in the game, I panicked...I wasn't trying to," Wendy is interrupted by a furious Shannon.

"Just, get out of here!" Shannon commands. Wendy quietly leaves in the Lame-o-Sine.

The other Femme Fatales surround Shannon, who cries out in fury, "I trusted her! I was there for her when no one else was! And that's how she thanked me? Well, forget her!"

The other Femme Fatales silently hug their teammate. Shannon's anger turns to violent tears, and she hugs her team in return.

Chris quietly signs off the show, "Team Masculine managed to repair itself, and the Femme Fatales come to a crash. Join us next time, when the teams will merge, and everyone will be one their own....on Total...Drama....Action...."

Trivia

 * Originally, only fourteen characters were going to return, like in Total Drama Action. However, the author decided to bring sixteen back.
 * This season will be males vs. females, in terms of pre-merge teams.
 * There were to be two new characters, but the author decided against it.
 * Steven, Rachael, Morgan, Nicole, Charlie and Laura do not return as contestants.
 * Chapter one was originally to have a double-elimination.
 * Had the third challenge been reached, in chapter two, it would have been a football challenge. Team Masculine would have lost.