User blog:DJ Spenstar/Craig's Evil Council of Doom! Episode 2

Hello everybody! You remember Craig's Evil Council of Doom, right? Well, now it's time for the next episode! The original version that this was inspired from can be found here:



Now, time for the episode!

Somewhere in redlink

Joe: So to answer your question Micky D, my favorite fanfiction of all time is Screwed. Because of all the blood.

Micky D: Sounds gross, fo shizzle!

Joe: I know. I give it two thumbs up -- with Xs carved into them, and the Xs with sugar rubbed into them.

Halle: Why sugar?

Joe: It's because that's what Heather runs into Noah's would in Life After Lies.

Halle: Fanboy.

Craig: SILENCE! It's time for our meeting!

The Rat: We can't start yet! Luciana's still applying her makeup!

Steve: I want makeup too! HEHEHEHEHE!!!

Craig: Yes, he he he [EFF!]ing whatever. So, I suppose we should just wait for her then?

The Rat: Yup.

Missy: God, she is so annoying. Why not just start without her?

Craig: Because shut up. To pass the time, I'd like to introduce our newest members! May I present, Ronda and Derrick! They are both villains of the highest caliber!

Ronda: Good to be with some decent people for once.

Derrick: I imagined this place with fewer girls.

Halle: While I'm impressed with Ronda, I don't find Derrick to be that---

Derick: MALE MUSHROOMS ARE TOUGHER THAN FEMALE MUSHROOMS!!

Halle: Okay, forget what I just said.

Craig: Welcome, newest members.

Ronda: Humph.

Derrick: MALE MUSHROOMS!!

Joe: This council's really gone downhill, hasn't it?

Craig: What the [EFF!] are you talking about?

Joe: Ugh...

Luciana: I am now beautiful as can be!

Joe: Yes, nothing says "evil" quite like flirty lipstick

Craig: Enough! I call this meeting to order! Micky D! As the group secretary, I want you to transcribe everything we say!

Micky D: You got it, fo shizzle.

Craig: Kthx.

Steve: HEHEHE!! Who's the little girl over there?

Craig: I’ll get to that in a second, Steve. Anyway, our first order of business is to discuss what went wrong with our last plan. It was a total and utter mess!!

Joe: It didn’t exactly go as I planned it to go. We were all supposed to spam in unison!

The Rat: And he banned us and erased the comments afterward!

Halle: The execution was a mess, that’s why it failed!

Craig: All very good points.

Ronda: I don’t think Sprinklemist even cared about what we said. What we need is a new target.

Craig: Agreed. Luckily, I have one in mind.

Joe: Let me guess, DJ Spenstar?

Craig: Yes, that is who I meant.

Joe: Very well.

The Rat: Works for me, I guess.

Derrick: MALE USERS ARE HARDER TO DEFEAT THAN FEMALE USERS!! I THINK—

Micky D: Will you please keep it down?!

Derrick: Okay. I think we should target Sunshine, the admin pixie.

Craig: Nah, she’s already defeating herself.

Ronda: Good point.

Missy: So who IS that little girl over there?

Craig: I was just getting to that! It is now time for me to introduce our other newest member!

Gigi: Hi everyone! My name’s Gigi!

Joe: You invited a 7-year-old girl to our council?! Really, I’d expect this sort of thing from Halle, or Steve, or Micky D. But not from you.

Derrick: GIRLS ARE STUPID!

Craig: Shut the [EFF!] up for a second and let me talk! It’s not the girl I’m interested in. It’s her book.

The Rat: Her book? You mean, the diary she’s carrying with her right now?

Craig: Yes! That book contains the secrets to controlling the most ruthless and most evil organization known to man!

The Rat: You mean.... 4Kids?!

Craig: Yes, now you’re – NO! Not [EFF!]ing 4Kids! THE Organization! Have you read Life After Lies?

The Rat: Sadly, yes, I did and I hated it. It was depressing and devoid of any—

Craig: You really ARE evil! Joe, please tell me that you know what I’m talking about.

Joe: Actually, I do. I know exactly what you mean, and I’m quite impressed. That organization can dominate the wiki if we harness its secret powers!

Steve: HEHEHEHEHEHE!!! NOW I get it!!

Ronda: I’m impressed. Nice job.

Derrick: How can a GIRL have that kind of power?

Craig: Thank you, Ronda and Joe. You too, Steve. Derrick, kindly shut the [EFF!] up.

Derrick: *grunts*

The Rat: *grunts*

Joe: Gigi, please hand over the book.

Gigi: *clutches book* NO!!

Joe: We can do this the easy way, or the hard way.

Gigi: THE NOTHING WAY!!

Joe: Give me the book and I won’t have to hurt you to get it.

Luciana: Gentlemen don’t hurt ladies.

Joe: I’m not a gentleman, I’m a villain.

Luciana: Oh. Right. Carry on.

Missy: *softly* Sweetie, don’t listen to that BAD man. *glares at Joe*

Joe: Humph.

Missy: Give me the book; I’ll protect it from those mean, mean people. *smiles sweetly*

Gigi: NO! NOBODY BUT ME GETS TO READ MY BOOK!

Joe: Very well, you leave me no other choice. * walks toward Gigi*

Gigi: If I give you the book, will you let me go?

Craig: I shall.

Gigi: Catch! *throws book to Craig*

Craig: *catches book* you may go now. *opens door to council*

Gigi: *leaves as fast as possible*


 * door closes*

Craig: *opens book* Wha...what’s this?! The book is empty!

Joe: Gigi pulled a fast one on us! Nice going, black hat.

Derrick: TOLD YOU!

Craig: Yes, it seems that Derrick was right.

The Rat: Great, now we’re without a plan.

Craig: Yes, it sucks. Big time.


 * phone rings*

Craig: Just a sec, I have to get the phone. *picks up phone* Yes, what the [EFF!] is it?

Jocelyn: *through phone* Hello, is your refrigerator running?

Craig: I don’t HAVE a [EFF!]ing refrigerator! I’m a [EFF!]ing evil mastermind living underground in [EFF!]ing redlink for [EFF!]’s sake! Why would I need a [EFF!]ing refrigerator?! *hangs up*

meanwhile...

Jocelyn: Well, so much for my cunning plan to fool Craig into thinking his fridge was running. We will have to rethink our strategy! Isn’t that right, my evil council?

Hillary: WHAT?! WE CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE LOUD PARTY MUSIC!

Jocelyn: Curse you and your parties!

Rob: YEAH!!

meanwhile...

Craig: Well that felt really, really good! I didn’t take over the world, but I did tell somebody off. And in the end, isn’t that what being evil is all about? Yes, yes it is.

Joe: Let’s celebrate by reading Screwed!

Craig: Good idea!


 * One page load later*

Craig: Wow...! There is a lot of blood in this story!

Joe: Will you keep it down? I’m trying to read.

Craig: Are they going to kill that kid?

Joe: Please, shut up! You’re ruining it!

Craig: What happens at the end? Do they get away?

Joe: *groans*

Craig: I presser comedy! We should have chosen something by QueenOrangeSoda!

Joe: I thought you said you prefer comedy.

Craig: I did. Oh, I see, that was a joke. Well, it wasn’t funny!

Joe: Ugh...

Craig: How much blood does that boy have anyway?

...

Steve: HEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!

What did you guys think?