User blog comment:Thebiggesttdifan/The Critic Raves-Summer Schedule Judging, Week 1/@comment-1394941-20120722154304

I don't exactly agree with your review on the Lost fanfic. Being a non-contestant, I have a fairly neutral view on all the stories, but overall, this is still my opinion vs. yours. For your point on the story not being very TV show like because there are first person moments, there are plenty of shows where there are first person moments. Secondly, this is more of an issue with the story that Jax should have caught but you kind of overdramatized on. Jax mentioned how this story is not meant to be a t.v show but accidentally added words like "camera" in it. It is more of a technical mistake than something that should be pounced on.

On the argument of the characters, Courtney got married. I believe that is a change in personality. Secondly, many people don't change. Sure many do, but just as many stay the same throughout their lives. Also, considering that these characters are so loved because of their unique personalities, changing them by adding maturity or other facets will destroy their reader connection and make the story less interesting.

Finally, this is more ambiguous, and I'm not sure if I'm defending you or Jax on this but the point about Duncan's narrative was intentional. Each of these flashbacks are snapshots into Duncan's past. In no way are they 100 percent linear or sequential, leaving a high chance for events to happen in between them. It can easily be suggested that whatever happened with the kid getting killed was skipped over, a flaw which I myself let Jax know since I do believe he has an issue with time lapse in his story, but not one as major as you have put.

Once again, this is merely an opinion. Your opinion has just as much if not more influence than mine. I just felt that Jax's story should be given a little more credit than you have done so.