User blog:Indi26/Summer Schedule Week One Grades

So, time to make this short and sweet. Sorry for the lateness, but here we go! In order of posting...

When it Get's Too Real, by Webly:

It's a very interesting premise, and I'm just waiting to see where the clues lead. Your writing could be more descriptive, and there were just enough grammar mistakes to be distracting. I excused most of the lack of description because you wrote from a 1st person view, and it would be odd for DJ to be thinking about the details in his own house, but you could have gone a bit deeper into the emotions. I like the quick pace and the way things are always happening, but to raise your score in future weeks, I would proofread more for grammar mistakes and add some more depth to the descriptions, especially the emotions. For this week- 18/20

Lavigne, by Mrodd:

Like WiGTR, you have an interesting premise and you execute it well. However, the way you describe the emotions that you go through in the story and the scenery that surrounds it is incredible. However, I can't give you a perfect score because of the run-ons. There were quite a few, and when I saw them it broke the immersion of the story for a bit. If I were you, I would finish your chapter earlier in the week and leave a couple days to read it over with the pure intent on eliminating run-ons. For this week- 19/20

Total Drama Arcade, by Toad and O:

So, I'm only judging chapter 4, but you guys had the deck stacked against you from the begining of the story for a bit, since I feel a lot of the characters are unrealistic. Part of it adds to the Total Drama charm, but there are a bit too many oddballs and not enough "straight men" to have the balance work out. I liked Edwin's hidden depths, but it felt a bit wasted since he left right after. The writing of the challenge and dialogue is good, and the challenge had a nice Total Drama feel. For advice, I would add more to emotional and sensory descriptions, and choose a few characters to bring closer to earth to balance out the craziness. For this week- 15/20