Talk:Total Drama Relocated

Welcome
This is (obviously) the talk page for Total Drama Relocated, pleas feel free to take part in the guessing games and leave me feed back on the story, thanks! Space was here and he left something real special for ya! 15:51, January 25, 2013 (UTC)

Guessing the First Elimination
The prize for the correct guess will be revealed at a later date but it's a good one. Also the first elimination is a female so I'll only be putting their names up, happy guessing. This copntest is officially over! Space was here and he left something real special for ya! 16:15, January 21, 2013 (UTC)

Amanda -

Christine -

Emma -

Kassandra -

Maria -

Nadia -

Nicole -

Prudence -

Ray -

Sterling -

Summer -     Z a c  A tt a c k    Rawr 10:33, February 1, 2013 (UTC)

Veronica -I rather listen to reason rather then listen to nonsense 21:16, January 26, 2013 (UTC)

Violet -

Congrats to Zac for comming the closest (In terms of letter of first name) to guessing the first out, your prize will be revealed later on in the story :) Space was here and he left something real special for ya! 02:49, February 14, 2013 (UTC)

Guessing the Winner
There will be a prize for the person who guesses the winner (or closest to the winner) but I haven't decided what it is yet :) Space was here and he left something real special for ya! 14:33, January 20, 2013 (UTC)

Amanda - ♔ ~ Fyre ~ ♕    Living in a Fairy Tale  17:07, January 5, 2013 (UTC)

Christine -

Chuck -

Dalton -

Earl -

Emma -

Grover -

Hunter -

​James -

Junior -

Kassandra -

Landon -

Maria -

Nadia -

Nicole -

Prudence -I rather listen to reason rather then listen to nonsense 21:21, January 26, 2013 (UTC)

Ray -

Rob - I vote for him I'm licensed to chill 15:25, January 5, 2013 (UTC)

Sterling -

Summer -

Thaddeus -

Veronica -

Vincenzo -

Violet -

Wyatt -

Ep. 1 Part 2 Reviews
Meep. I ready both chapters as one, so I'll just post my comments for both here, if that's cool with ya? Anywho, I was slightly dissapointed by the introductions. You did manage to introduce the contestants and for the most part show off what each was like- But instead of having them interact with one another before the next contestant arrived, it made it very easy to get lost in who is who. In simple terms, the only contestants I can remember who they are, are; Violet, Nadia, and Wyatt. Then again, that might have been done on purpose, but I'm just letting you know how I felt! As for the interactions, I really did like then! They were very fun, and kept the chapter flowing I found. I also liked the fact that  some of the vets are around to help Chris and Chef-- But I'm worried with such a large cast the additions might lead to even less contestant interactions? But overall it was a wonder to read,the descriptions were spot on! Z a c A tt a c k     Rawr 10:57, February 1, 2013 (UTC)

Chat
Chat about the story down here y'all! SpaceWeather of planet Earth (talk) 05:15, January 5, 2013 (UTC)

Glad to see some labels that aren't so... Out-there or incredibly exact, it leaves room for so much more, can't wait for the first chapter! ♔ ~ Fyre ~ ♕    Living in a Fairy Tale  17:08, January 5, 2013 (UTC)

Yeah I tend to keep my lables very general so that I can have room to take the characters in any direction I want. SpaceWeather of planet Earth (talk) 17:47, January 5, 2013 (UTC)

You've got a decent start here, with some good bits and businesses in the intros. I would have preferred to see more, though, because the contestant intros have so much potential--potential that most authors largely waste, in my opinion--for making memorable first impressions. That's particularly important with original casts, where first impressions can be a big help in keeping straight the (sometimes literal) boatload of new characters. In addition to my own story, which you're familiar with, Lilac's story (which I rarely miss a chance to plug) provides a good example of a thorough, detailed introduction chapter. In the case of your story, the intro chapter was about 2500 words, but I would have like to see it be about twice that. In an OC competition story, I think it's reasonable for the intro chapter to be one of the story's longest.

On a more technical note, you need to watch how you use (or don't use) commas. Your comma usage is OK in some places, but there are a number of long sentences where you really need more. This is particularly important because there are times when the presence or absence of a comma can change the meaning. You should at least consider adding a comma at any point where you would naturally pause when reading the sentence. At the other extreme, I noticed several "comma splices", which is where you use a comma when you should have ended the sentence and started a new one. (If there's no punctuation at all in such a situation, that's called a "run on" sentence.)

All in all, I plan to stick with this story, at least for now. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O!  Sing me your song, O!  A wandering minstrel, I--  19:46, January 20, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for your criticisms Gideon I'll be sure to take these to heart and use this advice to fix my later episodes. I do admit that the intro was far too short and I could have fleshed out the characters much further but I wanted to keep a few of them... unexplained for now. The meat of the story is fleshing out the characters and what their stories are so I quickly introduced them to keep somethings about them in the dark. I also didn't go into great depth on appearence because I'd prefer for the readers to decide how the characters appear, while I could force an image into their heads I prefer to leave it up to them. But all in all I know this wasn't the best I can do and I thank you for your honesty. Space was here and he left something real special for ya! 20:49, January 20, 2013 (UTC)

Wow! It's all up already? I just found out about this story a few days ago. xDD  Thanks! :) Jay JLOM If you think you'll lose, you've lost; for out in the world you'll find Success begins with a fellow's will, -Author Unknown 18:01, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Just scrolled through your story, and I now know that only chapter 1 is actually up. xDDD  Oops! ;) JustLittleOlMe  Lil   Jay JLOM   Jay-Z  Jay-cobb   Jayneneh  Lady Gideon  18:04, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

This is great! Nadia and her roommates hauling her off into the night was a fantastic ending, too! xDD  I'm really enjoying this. =)  Jay JLOM If you think you'll lose, you've lost; for out in the world you'll find Success begins with a fellow's will, -Author Unknown 18:24, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks Jay! I'm really having a lot of fun writing this and I'm happy you're liking it so much :) Space was here and he left something real special for ya! 20:37, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

I've skimmed Ch 2 and I really like it! I'll have to come back later and read it in depth. :D  JustLittleOlMe  Lil   Jay JLOM   Jay-Z  Jay-cobb   Jayneneh  Lady Gideon  05:51, March 10, 2013 (UTC)

Cool, sorry for the loooong wait, it took me a really long time to get it where I thought it was right. Space was here and he left something real special for ya! 05:57, March 10, 2013 (UTC)

Hello Space my excellent friend! As requested, i've got the chapter 2 word count. It's 5773. Hope that helps.TheMidgetBear (talk) 17:16, March 10, 2013 (UTC)

Just letting you know I'll be reading this by the end of this week :)     Z a c  A tt a c k     Rawr 17:20, March 10, 2013 (UTC)