Total Drama Tokyo

Total Drama Tokyo is the amazing fourth story of Toad's canon. Eleven fans and eleven favorites from the original version fight for the prize in Tokyo, Japan. But radioactive monsters, candied fish tails, and shady bartenders, among other things, await... Who will win the million bucks? Tune in to the most dramatic season yet, Total Drama Tokyo! '''Rated PG-13 for crude humor, some mild language and violence, and minor sexual themes. '''

Staff
Chris McLean

Chef Hatchet

Suzuki (co-host)

Smoothie Guy

Contestants
Anderson

Ari

Bennett

Casey

Delia

Estrella

Flora

Gail

Horatio

Isabel

Julian

Kai

Layla

Neal

Puck

Roz

Shawn

Thomas

Tolkien

Vivienne

Wolfgang

Yuri

Chapter 1 - Say Konnichiwa To... California
Chris is at what looks like an airport in California. "Hey, everybody! It's me, Chris McLean, and I'm here to host the next season of Total Drama, which I like to call Total Drama Tokyo! Last season, we had twenty contestants battle it out in Revolution City in North America. In the end, Tasia beat Kavren, winning the billion dollars. But Kavren got a consolation prize, also known as the fair Abbey! So, yeah. Rich dudes. Anyways, we have twenty-two all new contestants here to battle out in the largest city in the world! I hope our cohosts get here soon..."

Chris stands there for a minute. Then, a limo drives up, and out steps Chef Hatchet, with a squat Japanese dude.

"Yo, Chris. Here I am. And Suzuki is here, too." says Chef.

"Konnichiwa." says the Japanese dude, who is apparently Suzuki.

"What's he doing here? He already got eliminated from Total Drama Arcade." says Chris.

"Yeah, but I'm Japanese. Chef hired me for money, guy. Lots and lots of money." says Suzuki.

"Can we just meet our first contestant?" asks Chris.

"Yeah, man. Here you go." says Chef. "Looks like they're here."

"Hey, Chris, why we saying exact same thing from last time? Also why was last time canceled after four chapters?" says Suzuki.

"Shut up, man. All the contestants sucked except the ones we're bringing back. Speaking of that, Chef, did you tell them they have to retain their original dialogue?" says Chris.

"Sure. Also, why are we in California? I thought this was Total Drama Tokyo." says Chef.

"It is. But the producers decided that they wanted to film us at the airport for whatever reason. So, is the first contestant still Estrella?" says Chris.

"Actually, I think we should do that thing where we all just get in the plane and watch the contestants meet each other." says Chef.

"But, that sucks. It only works when there smaller number." says Suzuki.

A big plane flies down, and lands next to Chris, Suzuki and Chef. Out hops a pale girl with gothic clothes and a nose stud.

"Hi." says the girl, who is obviously not in the best mood.

"There you are. We were looking for you." says Chris.

"Shut up, dude." says Estrella, who takes out her "Animal Skulls of the World" book and sits down.

"Hey, just be happy that you weren't eliminated in the four episodes of last time." says Chris.

"I am happy. I'm just not one of those people who express a lot of emotion. You got a problem with that?" says Estrella.

"I kind of do. You need to shape up, or we'll replace you with... Hmm. Maybe Tnecniv Zciweikcam. That might work." says Chris.

Another kid literally flies out of the plane. He also has red hair, and a green hoodie. He is wearing feminine pants.

"Sup, dudes and dudettes?" asks the kid with a sketchy grin on his face and a scratchy voice.

"Anderson, my man! Ready to not get eliminated second this time?" asks Chris.

"Come on, guy, I've been trying to get past that. My sister is pissed at me, and my folks grounded me for 'treating others poorly' during the game. I'm gonna win this time." says Anderson.

"Yeah, and I'm Rudolph the Red-Nosed freaking Reindeer." says Estrella.

"Chillax, bro, we're just here to have fun. Winning isn't everything." says Anderson.

"But you just said, you want to win this time. Keep track of stuff, moron." says Estrella.

"Anderson, you're already making yourself out to be a big target, so either shape up or get replaced by Tnecniv Zciweikcam." says Chris.

"So, me and him will be replaced by Tnecniv if we don't shape up? That would be an odd number of contestants, though." says Estrella.

"Must you say something rude to everything I say?" asks Chris. "Yeesh."

Another plane comes up, but this time it looks like a private jet. A girl with an angry frown on her face, and expensive-looking clothes, steps out of it with a butler following her.

"Charles, pick up that gum wrapper. I hate litterers." says the girl angrily.

The girl's butler haplessly picks up the gum wrapper. "But Layla, you litter every day."

"So? That doesn't mean others should copy me." says Layla.

"Guys, you remember Layla." says Chris. "Everyone give her a warm welcome." Nobody says anything.

"Charles, make them give me a warm welcome. I didn't come here to be overlooked. I came here to win, and add more bucks to my collection. So make them welcome me." says Layla.

Charles pulls out a chainsaw. Everyone starts to wave at Layla. "Glad you're here." says Anderson.

"Let's move on to our next contestant, it's everyone's favorite geek, Tolkien." says Chris.

"Gary was my favorite geek." says Suzuki. "Nobody cares." says Chef.

A short, somewhat handsome dude with a big nose and colorful clothing, holding trading cards, comes out of the plane.

"Hi, everyone." he says cheerfully. "Have any of you ever played Luncheons and Laggins?"

"You already asked us that last time. The answer is no." says Estrella.

"Charles, look up Luncheons and whatever on your uPad." says Layla. Charles takes out a gigantic pad and searches it. "It is a roleplaying game for nerds, dorks, and forever alone people." says Charles. Layla nods her head.

"Looks like Tolky fits all three of those categories." chuckles Anderson. Tolkien punches him in the arm.

"Hey, is Ari here? I miss her, so much." says Tolkien. Anderson makes a mocking and goofy face, and imitates Tolkien.

"Is it just me, or is Tolkien the only pleasant person here?" asks Chef to Chris.

"I'm pleasant enough." says Charles meekly.

"Did I give you permission to talk?!" snaps Layla. She slaps Charles in the face.

"Hey, Anderson, do you still have that Black Lich card I gave you? Have you tested out its dope Shadow Wand attack yet? It's so awesome!" says Tolkien.

"Oh, you mean this thing?" Anderson pulls out a blobby thing from his pocket. It looks like a glob of mold with ketchup and cheese on it. A mouse is nibbling off the cheese.

Tolkien lets out a little shriek. "That is one of five of those cards in the world! What did you do?! You should be--" He turns white and faints.

"Calm your balls, big boy." says a girlish and excited sounding voice.

"Ooh, I love balls! Especially those kinda of ones you use at the beach! What are they called again? I think they're called tennis balls. But I don't know. I think my daddy knows!" says another voice, this one innocent and high-pitched.

"Ugh, Chris, why did you have to bring that chick back!? I tried to manipulate her, but she's too dimwitted." says Layla. Charles shakes his head.

"Everyone, here's Isabel." says Chris. Another voice clears their throat. "Oh, and Roz." says Chris.

"Where am I?" Isabel asks cluelessly.

"You're in Tokyo, Japan." says Layla. Under her breath, she mumbles, "Idiot."

"Oooh, I love Tokyo! I climbed the Eiffel Tower here when I was four." says Isabel.

"Actually, we're not in Tokyo, we're in California." says Chris matter-of-factly.

Everyone sighs and slaps their heads.

"She would be hot, but she's dangerously stupid." says Tolkien. Anderson nods.

"You're so pretty! I've never met a girl like you." says Isabel, approaching Tolkien.

"Didn't we have this exact same conversation last time?" asks Estrella.

"Just go with it." whispers Chris.

"Also, once again, I'm not a girl..." says Tolkien.

"Ohhhh." says Isabel. "I knew that."

"I'm sure you did." says Anderson wisely.

A fat black kid with a red and white shirt with a nametag reading "CAVI", bling, and a big nose steps out of the plane.

"'Ey, guys, wassup? I'm glad to be back." says the boy.

"You guys remember Shawn." says Chris apathetically.

"I hope ya guys remember me. After all, I am an amazing singer." says Shawn.

"Yeah, whatever." says Chris.

"Eeee, I love music!" says Isabel happily.

"Eww, I don't. It makes my ears bleed." says Anderson.

"Dude, didn't you die in that jet ski accident?" asks Estrella.

"Nope, Kishawn Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam Anderson is still alive and well." says Shawn.

"Dude, that name is longer than Dolph's." says Tolkien.

"Once again, we've been through this. I'm surprised we're still on air." says Estrella.

"Let's see, what happens next... Oh, yeah, Shawn, you're supposed to approach me and say 'hey baby', then I'm supposed to say 'Charles, get me away from this creep'."

Charles pushes Layla away from Shawn. "This is getting tiring." he says.

"Layla, don't worry, I'm not into that anymore. I have a chick friend, now. Her name is Linda and she is the most beautiful person you'll ever meet." says Shawn.

"Aren't I the most beautiful?" asks Layla. "Guys, I am, right?" Everyone nods, obviously scared that Charles will pull out his chainsaw again.

"Uh, guys? Where's Roz? I thought I introduced her a few minutes ago." says Chris.

"YO YO YO!" screams a voice. The contestants look around, and see nothing. Then, Roz falls out of the sky onto Tolkien.

"Hey, boys and girls, did you miss me? I'm sure you did, since I'm the most hilarious person on the show!" says Roz.

"Aaack... Can't... Breathe..." says Tolkien.

"..." says Estrella. "TNWPJS, by the way."

"Wassup, everybody? I'm Roz, but you guys remember me. I was the Izzy clone, the one who was buddy buddy with Ari and Bess. Where are they, by the way?!" asks Roz, getting off of Tolkien, who gasps for air.

"Ari should be coming very soon. We ditched Bess." says Chris. "The producers thought she was 'boring'. Can't blame them."

"Aww, but she was my fr..." says Roz. "You're right, she was boring. Anyways, why aren't we in Tokyo?"

"We have to catch our plane. But you can probably fly, so you don't need to worry." says Chris.

"I totally can. Who wants to see? Oh, yeah, and I've been stalking Chappy more. Anyone care for a status update?" asks Roz.

"Everyone, back by popular demand, it's Ori." says Chris, ignoring Roz completely.

"Whoa, sweet, I loved that guy! He was my favorite." says Roz.

"Just kidding. Ari. Whoops." says Chris. "That's even better!" yells Roz.

A cute girl comes out of the bus wearing blue jeans and a bird shirt.

Tolkien turns extremely red. "H-h-hey, Ari. Remember me?" he says meekly.

Roz pushes through the beet-red Tolkien and gets to Ari. "Ari Zari! You have no idea how much I missed you. How's home life? Anything new? Any boyfriends?"

Ari blushes. "Nope, Roz, still single... It's all right, though, I don't need a guy yet."

Tolkien scowls. "It's all right, buddy. You'll just be forever alone. No big deal. I am, and I don't care." says Estrella, attempting to comfort him.

"Hey, everybody, it's me!" says Horatio, who is still wearing his signature fedora, tux, and boutonnière. "I know that times are tough, but I think we should just all try to... Keeping The Faith."

"That made no sense, at all, whatsoever." says Layla.

"Neither did that sentence you just said." says Estrella snidely.

"That's odd." says Ari.

"So, Chris. Do I get a snazzy intro, or what? Am I gonna be a background character again, dude?" asks Horatio.

"No, we'll try to give you good amounts of screen time, notice I said we'll try. Now, let's meet our next contestant, Julian." says Chris. Estrella looks worried and Horatio slaps his head.

"Hey, buddies, remember me?" says a black dude with an Afro, fashionable clothing, and drumsticks.

"I sure do, and I wish I don't." says Estrella.

"Aw, hey Strelly! You haven't changed much. Still my beautiful hot girlfriend. If you accept." Julian kisses her hand jokingly.

"Get away from me, you freak. I'm not interested in dating right now." says Estrella while blushing.

"You know, I know you're blushing. Come on, gurl." says Julian. Estrella refuses.

"Like I said last time. Alex + Trent = Epicness." says Tolkien.

"Ugh. I totally hated Alex. Trent was hot, though." groans Layla.

"This guy is super awesome." says Anderson. "I hope he's on my team, unlike last time."

"Well, everyone, this time there's gonna be three teams of seven. One person will be voted out before the teams form." says Chris.

Everyone looks at Anderson. "What?" he says. "Remember, there's still eleven noobs."

"Noobs is such a cute word! I love that kind of candy, too. Don't you guys, too? I hope." says Isabel.

A Japanese girl comes down on a unicorn. "LIEK ZOMG HAI. I'm so happy to be back. Are my favorite gay lovers back?" Yuri scans the crowd and finds Julian and Shawn. "They are! Eeee!"

"Oh, man. Her again?" ask Julian and Shawn simultaneously.

"God, why don't you just leave?" asks Estrella. "U jelly?" winks Julian. "No." says Estrella angrily.

"Gurl, none of us are gay, so just shut up." says Layla.

"Well, that's rude. You don't know that." says Yuri.

"Charles, throw her in the dumpster." says Layla.

"Nah, I'm good." says Layla's butler.

"..." says Anderson.

"Embracing your PJ heritage, huh?" asks Horatio. "I rarely embrace my Antoine heritage."

"All right, looks like all 11 favorites are here, so time to introduce our completely new players. Warning, most of them are pretty weird." says Chris. "You guys are, too, I'm sure you'll get along."

A short, nerdy boy comes out of the bus, with a top hat, cape, and glittery clothing. "Hello, young children. I am the great Kai Amadeus Bertilrud II. I will now take a rabbit out of my hat."

"What freak show did you get this guy from? But I do enjoy a good magic trick. Do it, kid." says Estrella.

"That's what she said. And now, I will do it." says Kai. He takes out a plush bunny from his hat. "Ta-daaaa!"

"Hey, you idiot, that's not even a real bunny. You disappoint me. Charles, find me a bunny." says Layla.

"Personally, I think that was a pretty good show..." says Ari happily. Tolkien shakes his head.

"You're pretty cool. Can I have your autograph, kid?" asks Estrella. Ari nods. "Me too."

"Relax, ladies, there's enough of Kai to go around." says Kai. He takes out a pad of paper and starts signing his name.

"Ugh." says Tolkien. Julian comes up to him. "I feel your pain, bro. Girls are tricky."

"So, what's your secret?" says Anderson. "What do you mean?" asks Kai.

Anderson pauses, then says, "How do you get all those chicks?"

Kai chuckles. "It's all in the wand, kid. But I'm not planning on dating."

"All right. Here's our next contestant, Puck. He's a bit special. But aren't all of you?" asks Chris.

"Not funny, Chris. Let's just see him." says Shawn.

A squat guy who resembles a penguin more than a human comes out of the bus. He is wearing a black "BB" shirt and purple pants.

"Hey, guys. What's chillin'?" He chuckles. "I'm Puck. Just an average guy, tryin' to make my way in the world." He approaches Yuri, Isabel, and Layla. "'Water' you guys' names? Bwa-ha-ha-ha!"

"You know, that's not funny at all." says Isabel. "And I think a lot of things are funny! Teehee!"

"Chris, so far we have a wannabe magician and a fat kid who relies on puns. You could do better." says Layla.

"We realized we didn't have enough comedic characters. So we decided to bring these guys in. And you think they're creepy? Ha." says Chris.

"Creepy, I'm not creepy. I'm more 'cool', if I do say so myself. Chill out, bro." says Puck.

"By the way, what kind of a name is Puck? It sounds like fu--" says Roz.

"Roz, keep it PJ-- I mean, PG." says Anderson.

"Says the guy who's naked half the time." says Horatio. Everyone chuckles except Anderson and Layla.

"My name's not actually Puck. It's Cornelius, but you guys didn't hear that." says Cornelius or Puck. "I nicknamed myself Puck because I'm a super pro at hockey. I'm even better than Chuck Norris."

"Doubt it. Chuck Norris is good at everything." says Tolkien.

"You know, I don't find Chuck Norris jokes funny at all." says Estrella.

"You don't find anything funny at all." says Roz. "Touché." says Estrella.

"Let's meet our next weirdo, Casey. Everybody give her a warm welcome. She's a bit awkward." says Chris.

"Like, me-awkward, or more...?" asks Ari.

"Yeah, she may be a contender. But here she is." says Chris.

A tall girl comes out of the bus. She looks like Ari, only less pretty, although she is somewhat attractive. She is wearing preppy clothes and is a ginger.

"Like, hey, guys. S'up?" She takes out a notecard. "Hmm... Popularity meter... Best part of a kid's life... Little kid over there... Crap, I forgot."

"Uh, whatcha doing over there?" asks Ari.

"I was trying to memorize Chelsey's lines... Aww, it's no use. Hi, everyone. I'm Casey. You guys look nice." says Casey.

"Quite odd." says Ari.

"Uh, guys, I may have made a weird first impression on you guys, but I wanna get accepted and stuff." says Casey.

"She's hot. How about yes." whispers Anderson. Tolkien and Horatio nod.

"All right, chick, you're with us now." says Anderson after some debating.

"Okay, sweet." says Casey. She walks over to the three guys.

"Anderson." says Anderson. "The name's T-$waqq." says Tolkien. Horatio slaps his head, and says "Horatio. Pleasure to meet you."

"Well, look on the bright side, at least Tolkien won't bother you anymore." says Roz.

"I kinda like him bothering me." says Ari. "I know it sounds weird, but..."

"All right. Everyone, say hello to our next contestant, his name's Wolfgang." says Chris.

A guy with fashionable clothing and wild, dyed blue hair comes out of the bus. He says nothing, then sits on a bench.

"What's wrong with this one?" asks Shawn.

"I think he's more of an introvert." says Julian.

Wolfgang is grooming his hair. Puck comes up to him.

"Hey, guy. I think I've seen you somewhere, but I don't remember where exactly. Wanna be friends?" asks Puck.

Wolfgang kicks Puck in the gonads.

"Neeeever mind then." says Puck, and turns his uPod onto some Jason Delüro song.

"He's attractive." says Estrella while looking at Wolfgang. "He reminds me of... Me."

"No, he's not. He's ugly and he has bad breath." says Julian.

Wolfgang growls like an animal, then sticks up his middle finger at Julian.

Chris then says, "Here's our next contestant, Vivienne!"

An interesting-looking girl comes out of the bus. She has pink hair and is wearing an all purple dress, with a striped hat and velvet gloves.

"Ooooh." says Kai. "You are perfect magician's assistant material! Here, lemme show you how to take a rabbit out of a hat."

"You're so cute." says Vivienne. She kisses Kai on the cheek.

"Um, you're taking things a little too fast there, buddy. Maybe I don't need an assistant..." says Kai.

Vivienne walks away. "Oh, sorry... I guess I'll never get a boyfriend..." She starts to cry.

"No, I didn't mean to hurt you! Come on! Sorry, dude." says Kai. Vivienne then disappears in a puff of smoke. "Huh?" says Kai.

"Vivienne also claims she has magical powers. I guess that was a major detail that I left out." says Chris.

Vivienne then randomly appears in a tree. Everyone looks at her strangely, she then vanishes again.

"Anyways... Let's meet our next contestant. He's not in the best mood today." says Chris.

"None of us are. As a matter of fact, I'm the only one who's not as grumpy as crap today." says Puck.

"I'm not grumpy." says Roz. She then takes out a lighter. "Calm yourself." She puts it back in.

A short boy wearing a sweater vest comes out of the bus.

"Neal Schweiber at your service." he says.

"Oh, you're Neal?" asks Chris.

"No. My name is Brian Williams. I just said my name was Neal so I could trick you. And I happen to look exactly like the Neal on your sign up sheet, but it's a complete coincidence." says Neal.

"Ooh, hi Brian! You look cute! I love your cute little vest." says Isabel. She runs up to 'Brian' and strokes his hair.

"This is one of the advantages of being on a show like this." says Neal smoothly. He sits back and relaxes while Isabel fawns over him.

"Hey, man, you seem like me. I like that." says Anderson.

"Last time I checked, I wasn't wearing female pants." says Neal. Some people snicker, and Anderson growls. "Shut up, Neal." he says.

"His name isn't Neal. It's Brian. Stop being so mean to him." says Isabel angrily. Neal chuckles.

"Um. Okay. Let's meet our next contestant." says Chris. He glances at his cue cards. "Uh, Bennett, and his lady friends."

A really short kid with blonde Nutria-esque hair comes out, with his arms around two random girls.

"Heeey, ladies and gents." he says. "Th' name's Bennett. I'm just a kid who has extraoooordinary luck with th' laaadies."

"We love you, Bennett!" say the two girls at the same time. They both kiss him on the cheek.

"Hey, I thought I was the only one who could have someone following me around. Charles, kill those girls." says Layla.

Charles takes out a bazooka. The two girls scream and hide behind Bennett.

"No need to be afraid, giiirls. They're just jealous." says Bennett.

"Why would I be jealous of you? I'm a girl." says Layla.

"Oh, you know you want to get into these arms." says Bennett. The two girls nod.

"How many people are left, again? This chapter is a bit long." says Chris.

"That's not the only thing that's a bit long." says Anderson immaturely.

"All right, here's Gail." says Chris. A cute and tall girl comes out of the bus.

"Nice stomach. I love that kind of clothing." winks Horatio.

"Hey, guys. I'm glad to be here." says Gail.

"You are? Why? So you can get a fantastic and 'cool' boyfriend, like Puck here?" asks Puck.

"No, so I can make some friends." says Gail. A chipmunk lands on her shoulder.

"And you want a fantastic and cool boyfriend. Right?" asks Puck.

Gail snickers. "No, I'm not really into boys. But you can be my friend. You look like a penguin."

"I take pride in my penguin-like appearance." says Puck.

Wolfgang scoffs. "Ooh, that guy over there is cute." says Gail.

"No, he's not. He's ugly and has bad breath." says Julian for the second time this chapter, randomly popping in to the conversation.

A really tall guy comes out of the bus. He trips over the steps and hits his face on the ground.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Thomas." says Chris.

"Hey, there, small boys. It's Thomas here, ready to win and stuff." says Thomas.

"Is your whole gimmick going to be physical comedy? Because that stuff is awesome!!!" yells Roz.

Thomas gets on two skateboards, one with each of his feet, and rides them. He slips and falls.

"Physical comedy kind of worries me..." says Tolkien. "Unless it's in video games."

"All right, Thomas, try not to get kicked off too early, okay?" asks Chris.

"That basically means I'm first out, since you said that to Ezekiel." says Thomas. "Oh, and guys, I'm in a band, too."

"Sweet, bro, so am I. I play drums. You?" asks Julian.

"Electric guitar, man." says Thomas.

Julian looks at Thomas, then at Shawn, and Horatio. "Epic band."

"All right, I think there's 2 left... Oh, man. Okay, Delia... She's a little bit dangerous." says Chris.

"Like, me-dangerous, or more...?" asks Roz.

"Yeah, she may be a contender. But here she is." says Chris.

A tall, scary-looking girl comes out of the bus. She flashes a cold glare at everyone. Everyone suddenly becomes completely silent.

"Hello." she says in a surprisingly high, but quiet, voice.

"..." says everyone.

"I came into a bunch of PJs. Sounds fun." she says. She then becomes quiet again and starts to survey everyone.

"Hi, hi. I'm Roz! I don't know why everyone's so scared of you. You seem nice, kind of like me. I hope we can be friends." says Roz.

"Roz, don't." whispers Ari.

Delia starts to groan. "Goodbye." She takes out a notepad and starts to jot down something.

"Maybe you were right." says Roz to Ari. Delia's notepad says 'Skull Death' on the front.

"Here's the last contestant." says Chris.

A plain-looking girl steps out of the bus. "Hi, guys." she says. "I'm Flora."

There is another awkward silence.

"So... Who's watched TD:ROTI?" asks Kai, trying to break out of the awkwardness.

"Ugh, don't even get me started." says Estrella.

"IKR?" says Yuri. "There were no gay couples. Frowny face."

"All right, guys. It's time to get on the plane. We're getting really low on time." says Chris. He motions the contestants to get on the plane.

"Wait, we're not in Tokyo yet?" asks Isabel, pausing.

"Just keep walking." says Neal.

"Who will be the first voted out? Will we ever arrive in Tokyo? Will the veterans and the noobs get equal amounts of screentime? Find out next time, on... Total... Drama... Tokyo!"

Chapter 2 - Battle of the Bots
"Last time on Total Drama Tokyo, lots of crap that nobody cares about happened. I mean, the 22 contestants came here, but that was about it. It's a pretty annoying cast this season. Anyways, let's get to the plane. We're going to Tokyo, I guess." says Chris.

A new and improved version of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet comes up behind Chris, with the 22 contestants inside of it.

Chris then enters the Jumbo Jet. "Where were you?" demands Neal.

"Calm down, dude. I have seating assignments for you all." says Chris.

"Ooh, I hope I get paired with a hot guy." says Vivienne excitedly.

"We'll see. So, first pair is... Wait, Chef, where's the papers?" asks Chris.

"Uhhh..." says Chef. "I totally didn't drop them in the Pacific Ocean."

"CHEF! Fine, you guys get to pick your partners." says Chris sadly.

"'Kay, you're my partner." says Tolkien immediately to Ari.

"Hop off, she's mine." says Roz. Ari giggles.

"Roz, do you wanna be with me, then? I'll tell you my secrets." says Tolkien.

Roz sighs obnoxiously. "Fiiiiiine."

Tolkien and Roz sit down. "I get the window seat." says Tolkien.

"Uh, nice try, I get it. Otherwise I get plane-sick." snaps Roz.

"You can't get plane-sick." scoffs Tolkien. "It's physically impossible."

Roz holds up a barf bag from under the seat. "Wanna see me try?" she snaps.

"I'd rather not. Now, let's just get along and we'll get to Tokyo a lot quicker." says Tolkien.

"Charles, let me sit by the window." says Layla.

Charles sighs and lets Layla sit by the window, then he sits next to her.

"Can't I sit with someone a little bit nicer?" he pleads. "No." says Layla.

Bennett sits down, with his girls. "Heeeey, girls. You're lucky you get to sit next to me."

"Ooh, we love you, Bennett." say the girls simultaneously. They kiss him on the cheek.

"I hate that guy. Don't you, Wolfgang? Don't you? Doesn't he just make you want to--" says Puck.

Wolfgang elbows Puck in the shoulder, and mutters something.

"Wolfgang, why don't you like talking to me? 'Chill' out." says Puck. "Come on, be 'cool'."

Wolfgang falls asleep. He then draws a mustache on Puck's face with a Sharpie while sleeping.

"You know how lucky I am to get to sit next to you?" asks Julian.

"God, I hate you so much, there's not even a word in the dictionary to describe how much I hate you." says Estrella.

"Aw, come on, girl. Live a good life." says Julian.

"I can't. It's not painful enough." says Estrella.

"That's what sheeee said." says Julian. Estrella rolls her eyes.

"Help me, please." whispers a voice. Julian turns around, and sees Shawn squeezed next to Yuri, who is taking notes.

"OMG, guess what, Shawn. A few days ago, before version two, I made this super insane crack pairing. Wanna hear it?" says Yuri gleefully.

"I'd rather not." says Shawn. "Wanna hear my new song?"

"NO." yells Yuri. "Anyways, my pairing is... Ready? EZEKIEL AND DJ!"

"Did they even interact? Like, at all?" asks Shawn.

"I don't care. They're really cute together." gushes Yuri.

"Did you write any inappropriate fanfictions?" asks Shawn.

"Actually, I did. It's called 'Beast and the Beast.' Isn't that such a good title? Yaoieee!" says Yuri.

"It's a horrible title." says Shawn. "Worst thing I've ever heard, it's not even funny." says Julian.

"Wanna hear my shortened synopsis?" asks Yuri.

"No." says Estrella, Julian, and Shawn simultaneously.

Yuri clears her throat. "DJ was just a normal, wimpy lad. Ezekiel was just a normal, recently-un-zombified lad. One day they ran into each other in the grocery store, and went home to play video games. And then they did some 69. The end."

"Wait, that was the whole story?" asks Shawn.

"You said it was a shortened synopsis." says Julian skeptically.

"They sure are being loud over there, huh?" asks Thomas.

"I'm sorry. I don't wanna talk to you. You're not popular enough." says Casey.

Thomas says in the confessional, "I'm just trying to be nice. Not even a relationship or anything, just making conversation. If she stopped acting like a clever twist on Devin, then maybe I'd like her."

"All right, what's your problem." says Casey.

"I don't have a problem, I'm just sitting here, reading this SkyShop magazine." says Thomas.

"No, you're too tall, and ugly." says Casey.

"Just like your idol, Chelsey." says Thomas snidely.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." says Casey.

Casey says in the confessional, "That Tommy kid, or whatever his name is, is so annoying. He doesn't shut up, he's really awkward, and he's not popular. I have to share a locker with some guy who reminds me of him, at my school. Wait, maybe it is him. If it is, why don't I know his name? Oh, right, because I don't care. But he's nice to me at school... Snap out of it, Casey. You know he's unpopular."

Yuri says in the confessional, "I think that Julian and Shawn are being very disrespectful. I worked a whole fifty seconds on that yaoi story, and all they do is say it's short. It's not short, it's really long."

"That's what sheeee said." says a Julian-like voice from outside.

"So, uh, how's life? Do you have any pets?" asks Gail.

"Yeah, I have a dog." says Flora.

"Oh..." says Gail. "That's disappointing..."

"Yeah. And a brother named Aiden, and a sister named Emily." says Flora.

Gail says in the confessional, "Flora's just so... boring. We have nothing in common, she's so impossible to talk to. She's just the average teen girl. Ugh, she's just so... Ugh."

"My full name is Flora Marie Smith. Yours?" smiles Flora.

"My full name is Roxette Madelleine Gail Zzyzwicz." says Gail.

"That's a really bad name. What are your hobbies?" asks Flora.

Gail says in the confessional, "I'm prepared to act shy around this chick, she's working my last nerve."

"I have a pet parakeet named Crackers, too." says Flora.

Gail waits for a moment. She then starts to sob.

"Did I say something? I'm so sorry." Flora pats Gail on the back.

"No, it's fine. You can't control your boring-ness." says Gail.

Horatio is sitting there awkwardly. Delia stares at him evilly from the other seat.

Horatio says in the confessional, "That chick scares me... So freaking much... Calm down, Horatio... Keeping the faith... Keeping the faith..."

"Uh... So... Nice weather today, huh?" asks Horatio.

"Yes. It's beautiful." says Delia quietly and intimidatingly.

Horatio jumps out of his seat and rushes to Neal. "Lemme sit next to you, man!"

"But I'm with Isabel here." says Neal. "I suppose you could switch girls."

Horatio sits down next to Neal, and pushes Isabel out.

"Ooh, an adventure! I wonder who I'm going to get to sit next to?" asks Isabel.

"Hi." says Delia.

"Ooh, you're so pretty. I love your hair, do you do it yourself? I love redheads. They're cute." says Isabel.

"I'm not..." says Delia. "Never mind. Just, never mind."

"I'm going to sing you a song. Do you want to hear a song?" asks Isabel.

"No." says Delia.

"All right." says Isabel. She takes out a kazoo. "We found loooove in a hoooopeless plaaay-eeeece..."

"That is the worst thing I've ever heard." says Delia.

"We found sheeps in a goatless place." says Roz, from her seat.

"Hey, that's actually pretty funny. Got any more?" asks Tolkien.

"We found ships in a boatless place." says Roz. "We found gloves in a coatless place."

"XD." says Tolkien.

Ari looks at the two, then shakes her head.

"What's wrong, chick?" asks Anderson. "U jelly of Tolkien and Roz? Forget it, she's out of his league."

"Yeah, I guess..." says Ari.

"You secretly like Tolky, don't you." says Anderson. "I knew it. Anderson Dotcubed for the win, again."

"No, I like a lot of guys. I mean, I think a lot of guys are cute, I mean... Whatever." says Ari.

"Heh, heh, heh." says Anderson.

"Anderson, come on, stop being a tool. You have no right to spread rumors about me unless I explicitly say 'I, Ari, like Tolkien.'" says Ari.

"You just did." says Anderson. "That's not what I mean." says Ari.

"So, Kai, what's the favorite magic trick thingy you've ever done." says Vivienne.

"Well, I like the... I don't know, they're all great." says Kai.

"Something wrong, sweetie?" asks Vivienne.

Kai says in the confessional, "Yes, there is something wrong. Vivienne is the most annoying person in the world. I don't want to say that I don't like her, but..."

"No, there's not, I'm just feeling tired. Why don't you go talk to someone else, and let me sleep." says Kai.

"Okay." says Vivienne. She disappears in a puff of smoke, and Thomas replaces her.

"I have honestly no idea what just happened." says Thomas.

The plane then begins to sputter, and an alarm goes off.

"Oh, crap." says Anderson.

"Oh, that doesn't matter." says Vivienne.

She disappears. Then, a hole is made in the ceiling somehow, and she pops out. "Hellooo!"

Chris walks in with a pilot's uniform on.

"Guys, we're experiencing some technical difficulties, so just sit tight and hope you don't die." says Chris.

"I've died five times before, no biggie." says Roz.

"Somehow I have trouble believing that..." says Tolkien.

The plane then starts to drop, and crashes in the middle of the wilderness.

The contestants, one by one, get out of the plane woozily. Puck barfs.

"What just ha-ha-haaaappened?" he asks, slurred.

"We crashed, guys. Who's ready for a life threatening challenge?" asks Chris.

"Nobody. I think we need time to recover..." says Bennett, whose girls are on top of him.

"So, your first challenge is..." says Chris.

"привет, дети." says a man with a beard, coming up to Chris.

"Dude, is that Japanese?" asks Julian. "No." says Yuri.

"Just ignore him, he's probably mentally ill." says Thomas.

The man walks away. "That was odd." says Ari.

"First part of the challenge," says Chris, ignoring everyone, "is to pick teams. The team captains are..."

Tolkien looks giddy, Horatio jumps up and down, Layla growls, and Estrella flips off the camera.

"Roz, Puck, and Gail can be the team captains." says Chris.

"Ooh, yay." says Roz. "Chris, can we be the Fish Tails again?"

"I guess so." says Chris.

Puck opens his mouth to say something.

"But I'm naming the other teams." says Chris before Puck can talk.

"All right, lemme pick first. Okay. I pick Ari." says Roz.

"Good choice." giggles Ari, and she walks over to Roz.

"I pick my homie, Wolfgang." says Puck.

Wolfgang stomps over to Puck and farts in his face.

"I can tell you're excited about being on the team, man. I'm with ya." Puck bear hugs Wolfgang.

Wolfgang's face gets red and he blows steam out of his ears.

"I pick that one kid. The top hat dude." says Gail.

Kai walks over to Gail. "You made a good choice." Cards appear from his hand. "Pick a card."

"I'd rather not, I'm wondering the catch." says Gail.

"My lady, there is no catch." says Kai. Vivienne snorts.

"All right, lemme pick another one. Strelly." says Roz.

"Muh." says Estrella, and walks to Roz and Ari.

"Casey the hottie." says Puck.

"Yuck." says Casey, as she walks over to Puck and Wolfgang.

"Hmmm..." ponders Gail. "Bennett?"

"Good choice, duude. You're really coool, man. You made the right choice. My girls approve. Right, girls?" asks Bennett.

"Yeah, totally, Bennett. We love you." say the girls.

"Is it just me, or are those girls creepy as @#$%?" whispers Kai.

Gail responds, "They're creepy as @#$%."

"Yuri," says Roz. "I'm pickin' a 'dysfunctional' team, as you can see."

"No boys yet? Pick the mighty Julawn." says Yuri.

"That's what I was planning on doing." cackles Roz.

Julian and Shawn shake their heads and whimper.

"We're screwed." says Shawn. "I know." says Julian.

Puck points to Layla, who walks over to the team. Isabel follows her.

"He didn't pick you, moron." says Layla. "Charles, take her back over to the rejects squad."

Charles is about to pick up Isabel, when Puck says, "No, keep her."

Layla groans, and Isabel jumps up and down happily.

"Uhh... Thomas?" says Gail. Kai nods.

Thomas strolls over to his team, and makes a clicking noise. "Good choice."

"Now I'll pick the mighty Julawn." says Roz.

"Hey, no picking more than one person." protests Chris.

"Puck just did," says Layla, pointing to Puck, who picked Layla and Isabel simultaneously.

"Yeah, all right, whatever." says Chris.

Julian and Shawn walk over to the team. Yuri pops up and squeezes them together awkwardly.

"Neal," says Puck. "Cool, man." says Neal. "I knew you were cool."

Kai then picks Horatio, who says, "Awesome job, guy."

"Tolkien." says Roz.

"That's not how you pronounce my name. It's 'toe-keen'," whines Tolkien. "Not like 'tolk-ien'."

"Whatever, toe-keen." chuckles Roz. "Your toes are very keen."

"That's not that funny." growls Tolkien.

Ari laughs at him, and Tolkien winks at her, to no avail.

"Ugh." says Puck. He looks at Anderson, Delia, Flora, and Vivienne. "Do I have to choose? None of them are 'cool'."

"Just pick the creepy girl." says Layla.

Delia stomps over to her, stares her in the eye, and joins her team.

Layla says in the confessional, "Which is why I called her the 'creepy girl'."

"Uh, Flora and Vivienne, we'll take both." says Gail. Kai nods.

Flora walks over to her team, and Vivienne stares Kai in the eye.

"Last one picked? Weak, guys. Weak." says Anderson.

Anderson stomps over to Tolkien and Roz's team, then grumbles something extremely rude.

"All right, guys, Roz's team has requested to be the Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candied Fish Tails." says Chris. "Therefore, you are now named the Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candied Fish Tails."

"Whoo, I love Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candied Fish Tails." says Shawn happily.

"Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candied Fish Tails are nasty." yell Estrella and Julian at the same time.

"Great minds think alike." winks Julian. Estrella shakes her head.

"Uh, Puck's team will be called the Mini Dharmas." says Chris.

"What's a dharma?" asks Puck.

"Some Japanese egg thing. The producers thought of the name, I'm not really that smart when it comes to Japanese culture." says Chris.

"Gee, I didn't know that." says Neal.

"Aaand, the third team will be the Wily Tanukis." says Chris.

"Hey, man, why no Flabby Jowls?" asks Horatio.

"Suzuki felt that it was too offensive towards him, and other flabby jowled people worldwide." says Chris.

Suzuki is shown at home, in his PJs. He throws a rock at the TV screen, and it breaks. He then makes a whining noise. A Japanese equivalent of Charles brings in a new TV, and Suzuki turns it on.

"So, Chris-o, what's our challenge-o?" says Puck.

"You're not cool, Puck. But basically, you have to get in those giant robots over there and fight them." says Chris. He motions to two gigantic robots, one dharma shaped and one tanuki shaped, and also a small plane shaped like a fish tail.

"Why didn't we notice those before?" asks Ari.

"More importantly, why do we just get a wimpy little plane?" says Anderson angrily.

"Calm down, Anderson. I loooove piloting things and making them cra-- making them safe for everyone." says Roz.

"You are a messed up young lassie." says Estrella.

"Now, this challenge is gonna be short because the author hasn't put up a new chapter in weeks and is lazy." says Chris.

"Um, what?" asks Tolkien.

"Just get in the robots already." says Chris.

Roz gets in the Fish Tails' plane first, and giggles with excitement. She is followed by Ari, Tolkien, Estrella, Julian, Yuri, Shawn, and Anderson.

Thomas, Bennett, Horatio, Flora, Gail, Kai, and Vivienne get in their giant raccoon-shaped robot.

Thomas pops his head out from the top. "This good?"

"Yeah, it's good enough." says Gail.

Vivienne says in the confessional, "I've been getting this weird vibe from Kai... Maybe I should try another boy."

"So, how are ya doin', Bennett?" she asks, leaning in close to Bennett.

"BACK OFF." yell Bennett's girls, and slap her.

Vivienne says in the confessional, "Horatio or Thomas? Or should I stick to Kai?"

Layla, Isabel, Delia, Casey, Neal, Wolfgang, and Puck get into their robot, too.

"This robot is puny." says Puck.

"You know what else is puny?" asks Neal.

"Can it." says Puck. "You ain't cool."

Then, suddenly, the Tanuki's robot explodes. The Tanukis are sent flying out of the robot.

"Woo-hoo." says Thomas sarcastically.

Chris groans. "CHEF!" Chef comes to him, and Chris whispers something. Chef nods.

After a long pause, Chris says, "Well, since one of the robots is gone, let's send the Tanukis to elimination. We can do this challenge another time." says Chris.

"Whaaaaat?" says Kai. "Ha." says Neal.

Chris then motions the contestants to some cabins, which are not that big and are strangely shaped like onions.

"Hey Chris, why is there snow here? It's the summer." says Horatio.

A reindeer then comes up to the Tanukis and snorts.

Gail walks up to the reindeer and pets it, but asks, "And reindeer? I don't think this is Tokyo, or even Japan."

"Just ignore it, the natives are making us feel welcome." says Chris. "I guess."

Later, the Wily Tanukis are in their cabin, playing Truth or Dare.

"Hmm, all right, Horatio, truth or dare." says Kai. "Dare," says Horatio.

"I dare you to take off your underwear." says Kai.

Horatio reaches into his pants and takes out his underwear with his pants still on. Kai gasps, and Horatio says, "Vivienne, truth or dare."

"Truth." says Vivienne. "Who is the cutest boy in this room?" asks Horatio.

"Well, Bennett sure is a cutie," Bennett looks worried, "Thomas too," Thomas snorts, "Ooh, Horatio, you're really mysterious and stuff. But I like Kai the most." She hugs Kai.

"..." says Kai.

"Just ask someone else already." says Thomas. "All right, whiny, truth or dare." says Vivienne.

"Truth." says Thomas. "I guess you guys wanna know my secret, right?" he sighs.

"You have a secret? I'd love to hear it." says Flora.

A bunch of random animals sit down by Gail, and take out popcorn. Bennett and his girls sit down, and Vivienne, Kai, and Horatio take out video cameras.

"I'm a Brony." says Thomas.

"What's that?" asks Flora.

"FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU--" yells Kai.

"Well, we all know who to eliminate tonight." says Vivienne.

"What? Bronies are chill, guys." says Horatio.

"Uh, no they're not, they're for dorks." says Kai. "Magic tricks is where it's at."

"Eh," says Thomas. "I don't care what you guys think. I embrace my brony-ness."

"I like ponies, but not Bronies." says Gail.

Chris then comes in, says nothing, and leaves. He then meets them at the elimination ceremony.

"Blah, blah. It's cold outside. The person who does not receive a piece of sushi will have to take the Insert-Vehicle-Here of Losers." says Chris. "Kai, Horatio, Viv."

Kai, Horatio, and Vivienne get their sushi. Horatio bites into it, and it's hard as a rock. "What gives?" he asks.

"Can you feel the temperature?" says Chris. "Anyways, Gail and Flora are safe, too."

Gail gets her sushi, and Flora just sits there.

"Thomas and Bennett. What can I say? Thomas, you're a Brony. And Bennett, you're weird. Final sushi goes to..."

"Thomas. See ya, Ben."

"Aww, come on, dude. You guys are lame. Come on, girls, let's scoot." says Bennett.

"First, you gotta push back your hair. Let's see your eyes." says Chris.

Bennett reluctantly pulls back his hair, revealing the bushiest eyebrows ever and tiny dotted eyes.

"You look like an idiot." says Kai. "How do those girls like you now?" asks Thomas.

"We love him no matter what." scold the girls.

"Okay, Bennett, time to go now." says Chris.

Bennett and his girls start to leave, but Chris then says, "Not so fast. Girls, you stay here, you can be the newest victims, I mean, interns."

Bennett passes out. The girls turn into dust, and Chris picks up the unconscious Bennett, putting him in the Insert-Vehicle-Here, which drives away.

"All right, guys, time to go to bed. I still don't know why it's so cold." says Chris.

The strange foreign man from earlier suddenly walks up to them.

"Hey, mister, do you have a TV we could use? We wanna..." says Chris.

"In Soviet Russia... You don't watch TV. TV watch you." says the man.

Chapter 3 - I'm on a Boat
"Last time on Total Drama Tokyo." says Chris, "The campers built robots, or more like I built them for them. And then they battled them and whatnot. We weren't even in Tokyo, though, and we still aren't. We're in Soviet freaking Russia. So, yeah, no challenges until we find a way to get out of here. Sad, isn't it? Oh, yeah, and Bennett was voted out. But he was annoying, so yeah."

"You know, Chris, you're way different than you were in TDI, and even TDWT." says Kai. "You're a little bit OOC lately."

"Yeah, I'm getting older and as a result, grumpier." says Chris. "Dolph and Smoothie Guy last season really put a load on me."

"So, are we gonna get out of here, or what?" asks Thomas.

"Don't rush me, losing team, I've got a plan, kind of. Where are the other teams?" says Chris.

"Maybe they're enjoying themselves in their cool Russian onion dome thingies." says Gail.

"Sounds fun." says Flora happily.

"Meh, I wonder what they're doing." says Horatio. "I kinda miss being on a team with Anderson, Tolkien, and even..." He shudders. "Roz."

"Roz is hot, dude." says Kai.

"She could kill all of us. Are you kidding?!" says Vivienne.

"U jelly?" asks Kai.

The scene switches to the Fish Tails, who are in their Russian onion dome thingy playing games and stuff.

"Hey, dude, who do you wanna boot first?" asks Anderson. "Estrella is the least hot chick here, so her? I don't know, man."

"Excuse me?" says Estrella, looking up from her book, titled "Valley of Death 3: The Death Files." "I didn't say anything." says Anderson.

"Dude, this place is so boring, let's go outside." says Tolkien.

"Since when did you like to go outside? All you do is play with your nards." says Anderson.

"What? O, o." says Tolkien.

"Nerd cards. You get it, right? Nerd cards? Nards?" says Anderson.

"I get it." says Tolkien. "Never speak of it again."

Julian and Shawn are listening to Epic Hip-Hop Wars of History.

"So, Estrella, huh? How is she?" asks Shawn.

"We're not doing anything serious." says Julian. "She likes me, and I know it."

"Are you sure?" says Shawn. "Lemme ask her."

"She'll obviously deny it, dude, she doesn't wanna admit her love for me." says Julian.

Yuri pops out of nowhere. "Just like how you two won't admit your love for EACH OTHER!!" she yells.

"Bug off, Yuri." says Shawn.

Shawn says in the confessional, "How does she pop out of nowhere like that? It's creepy, honestly."

"Speaking of creepy people, where are Ari and Roz?" asks Tolkien.

"Why would you care? Unless you like one of them. Or even both." says Anderson.

"They're both really hot. I used to like Ari, but I talked with Roz, and she's super hot and nice and whatever. Ari likes me, though. I can't choose!" says Tolkien.

Shawn comes over to Tolkien. "Lemme speak to you. Anderson doesn't know crap about girls."

"All right, dude." says Tolkien.

"So, Ari and Roz are two different types of girls. With Ari, she may not be the most attractive girl ever, but her personality is really awesome. She's super nice and stuff. And then Roz, all she has is looks. Her personality sucks, like, would you wanna have a girlfriend who could stab you any time she wanted? Or, there's Option 3: screw the girls, and focus on being more of a Fantasy Geek." says Shawn.

"Well, you haven't rapped yet." says Tolkien.

"There's a lot of time for rapping." says Shawn. "Did you even hear anything I just said?"

"No, not really," says Tolkien. "Something about peanuts? I don't know."

"You're a sad, sad little boy." says Julian. "True dat." says Shawn.

"Well, I'll be a sad, sad, little girl if you guys don't start da--" says Yuri.

"WE KNOW." say everyone simultaneously.

The scene switches to Ari and Roz, who are in the attic.

"What'chya doooin'?" asks Roz.

"I'm texting my friend. What are you doing?" asks Ari.

"Friend? Is it a guy? Friends with benefits? Heehee." says Roz.

"You know, we really should stop talking about relationships, this whole episode so far has been about them." says Ari. "And no, she's a girl."

"All right. Let's talk about..." says Roz. She takes out a large hat labeled "SUBJECTZ." She puts her hand inside, and takes out a piece of notebook paper that says "Chappy."

"Chappy? Do we have to? You talk about him all the time." says Ari.

"Chappy is awesome. So, last year, me and my friend Zari joined his whale club. It was really boring, but we joined because he's so awesome. We baked him an apple pie one day. True story." says Roz.

"Cool..." says Ari.

"Don't be a hater," says Roz.

"The Game." says Ari.

Roz's face becomes extremely red, as she takes out a bazooka.

"Time for a scene change," says Billy the intern, and he turns off the camera.

The scene then changes to the Mini Dharmas' room.

"Charles, give me a foot massage," says Layla. "I'm tired."

"Yes, mistress." mutters Charles. He gives Layla a foot massage.

"Oooh, I wanna foot massage too! Teehee!" says Isabel. "No." says Layla.

"Don't be so mean to me..." says Isabel.

"Oh, I'm not being mean." says Layla.

Isabel says in the confessional, "I'm in the bathroom! Haha, Layla is my best friend, but I don't think she likes me."

Delia is on her bed, sitting with her eyes closed.

"Isabel, I think Delia is lonely. You wanna go talk to her?" asks Layla.

"Uh, miss--" says Charles. "Go talk to her." says Layla.

"Ha, okay!" says Isabel. She walks over to Delia. "What's up?"

Delia's eyes open, and she stares at Isabel very closely. "Go."

Isabel quickly runs away from her and back to Layla. "That girl is scary."

"Hey, Wolfgang." says Puck. "Wassup?"

Wolfgang shakes his head and sighs.

Casey leans towards Puck and whispers, "Dude, don't talk to him, we know he hates you."

"No, he's just shy." says Puck. "Come to think of it, has he even said anything besides grunts?"

"I don't think so." says Casey. "So, what's up?"

"Nothin' mu--" says Puck.

"WAIT. I'm not supposed to talk to you. Where is Elle." says Casey. "I need a TV, to watch Nebraska Shore, stat."

"Uh, you're not Chelsey." says Puck.

"Yes, I am. Don't deny it, turd." says Casey.

Neal says in the confessional, "My team is interesting. Way better than my friends back home. Wait, if you guys heard that, I didn't mean it. Sorry."

"Anyways, back to our normal conversation about Wolfgang." says Puck.

Wolfgang shakes his head and buries himself under the covers.

"Even PJ has talked more than him." says Puck. "But he's still 'cool'."

"Enough with the ice puns. Charles, make him stop." says Layla.

Charles walks over to Puck, flicks his helmet, then walks away.

"Just chill out, man." says Puck.

Chris walks in. "Time for the challenge, I realized we're five minutes away from the ocean. So, expect a boat racing challenge."

"Really, Chris? Couldn't we, like, catch sharks or something?" asks Neal. "That would be way more fun."

"Meh, I'll try to fit some shark-catching in." says Chris.

"Sweet," says Puck. "Wait, there are no sharks up here!"

"So? We brought some in, I mean, I'll find a way to spot some." says Chris.

"You're a really bad liar." says Layla.

"Just come with me." says Chris.

The Mini Dharmas walk out of their cabin, followed by the Fish Tails, then the Wily Tanukis.

"So what do you think our challenge is gonna be?" asks Tolkien.

"Something crappy." says Julian. "Why aren't you hanging out with Anderson?"

"Anderson is a douchebag." says Tolkien.

Julian waits for a second, then starts laughing. "You just now realized that?"

Yuri pops out of nowhere. "Wanna know something else you should realize?!"

"NO." says Shawn and Julian.

Chris is waiting for the campers at the dock, with a pad of paper. "Okay, so I have a few mixups with the cast. Who's Jimmy Meyer?"

"I don't think there's anyone named Jimmy Meyer here..." says Ari.

Puck raises his hand solemnly.

"All right, Puck, or should I say, Jimmy." says Chris. "Oh, yeah, who's Rosalind?"

"C'est moi," says Roz. "Ma nom est tres mauvais."

"Since when did you know..." says Anderson. "You know, I'm not even going to ask."

"Now, time for the challenge. You will see these little motorboats. Two people will be assigned to them, or whatever, and the challenge is simple, to race to Japan." says Chris.

"What's the catch?" asks Kai.

"Man-eating sharks, mines, maybe a tsunami or two, but nothing big." says Chris.

"This game isn't safe," says Horatio.

"That's the point. Now, get in your boats." says Chris.

Anderson hops into the first boat, and Shawn gets in after him.

Julian slides into the second boat, and Tolkien gets in after him.

Roz sprints into the third boat, and Ari gets in immediately after her.

Estrella sulks to the fourth boat, and Yuri gets in after her.

"It's a privilege to be in this boat with me," says Estrella. "I'm going to try to read, so don't annoy me."

"We'll see about that," says Yuri. "I'll be writing my inappropriate fanfictions."

Delia stalks into the fifth boat. Nobody gets in after her.

Delia says in the confessional, "Maybe it's my appearance... Whatever, they won't last long."

Isabel gets into the sixth boat. Layla gets in after her, and Charles follows her.

Neal and Casey get into the seventh boat, and Wolfgang and Puck go into the eighth.

Horatio and Thomas get into the ninth, Gail and Flora get into the tenth, and Kai and Vivienne get into the eleventh.

"You guys wanna start the challenge?" asks Chris.

"Sure." says everyone.

The motorboats then zoom off into the distance.

"So, did we get maps?" asks Ari.

"No," says Roz. " But I know my way around these parts."

"I'll take your word for it..." says Ari.

Roz swerves to avoid a mine, then the two see a fin in the water.

"Oh, crap," says Ari. "We're so screwed..."

"Don't panic. I've killed a shark with my bare hands before." says Roz. "This is a piece of cake."

"Would you rather try to fight it, and get us killed, or just drive the boat super fast so we can get away?" asks Ari.

Roz contemplates for a moment. "Good idea."

The two speed away on their boat extremely fast, and escape the shark.

"That was a close one," says Ari. "You're an idiot, Roz."

"But i'm still your BFFFFL, right?" asks Roz.

"What does that stand for?" asks Ari.

"Best F&@kin' Female Friend For Life." says Roz. "How did you not know that?!"

"..." says Ari. The two speed away.

The shark then comes out of the water, and it is revealed to be Dolph with a plastic fin strapped to his back.

"Purrrr-fect." he says. The Nyan Cat then comes out of nowhere, and he hops on it and gets away.

The scene changes to Julian and Tolkien, trapped on a puny little island.

"So, how did we get here, again?" asks Tolkien.

"We crashed, thanks to your great driving skills." says Julian.

"Hey, I don't have my license yet." says Tolkien. "I'm only 15."

"That's not the big problem here. The big problem is that we're stuck on this island, our boat is busted up, and nobody's in sight." says Julian.

"What about Estrella and Yuri over there?" Tolkien points to Estrella and Yuri, who are zooming by.

"Estrella would be great, but I'm not gonna be stuck on a two-person boat with Yuri." says Julian.

"True, true. Wanna play some L&L?" asks Tolkien.

"No." says Julian.

"Come on, I'll teach you how to play." says Tolkien.

"Can I sleep?" asks Julian.

"Aw, fine." says Tolkien. Julian falls asleep.

Estrella and Yuri then pull up to the little island. "Wanna ride?" asks Yuri.

"No, don't le--" says Estrella. "Be nice." says Yuri.

Tolkien hops in. "Thanks, girls. Let's go."

"But what about Julian?" asks Yuri. "We can't just leave him here."

"Yeswecanletsgo." says Estrella. She turns on the boat, and sputters away, leaving Julian asleep on the island.

"How is he going to get..." says Tolkien. "Don't worry about it." says Estrella.

The three then leave in their little boat.

Julian then wakes up. "Tolkien? I'll play your stupid card game... Tolkien? Where did you go? Aw, crap."

A coconut falls onto Julian's head and he passes out.

A monkey then comes out of the one palm tree on the island and craps on Julian's face, then leaves.

The three then pass a suspicious helmet floating in the water, but ignore it.

The suspicious helmet then reveals to be Puck, floating in the water. Wolfgang, Neal, and Casey come up, as well.

"You have no idea how pissed I am at you guys." says Casey.

"Hey, 'bumper boats' is super fun." says Puck.

"Not when it ends lethally." says Casey.

"It was actually pretty fun," says Neal. "I enjoyed it."

Wolfgang sticks up his middle finger, and makes a jerking motion with his legs.

Puck cries in pain and holds his crotch. "So, who's a good swimmer?"

"Aren't you? You said you were raised by penguins." says Casey.

"But... Uhh..." says Puck, realizing that lying wasn't the best idea. "The water's not cold enough."

"Yeah, uh-huh." says Neal. "Come on, guys, let's go."

"Don't just leave me hangin', chills! Come on, just cool down!" says Puck.

The three others swim away, leaving Puck.

"Darn it." says Puck. "Some team."

Puck says in the confessional, sopping wet, "I really wanna do good in this game. But how am I supposed to when everyone hates me? Even Wolfgang, my buddy. Man."

Wolfgang is shown in the confessional. He holds up a picture of Puck getting eaten by a bear, and shakes his head.

Chris is then shown at the dock at Japan, with Chef.

"So, when do ya think they're gonna get here?" asks Chef.

"Honestly, I have no clue. Was the challenge too dangerous?" asks Chris.

Chef looks for a moment. "...Naw."

Tolkien, Estrella, and Yuri then come up to the dock, get out of their boat, and head to Chris and Chef.

"Whoop-dee-doo, we won again." says Estrella.

"Actually, you need all your team members," says Chris.

"All right. Anderson and Shawn will be here soon," says Tolkien.

Anderson and Shawn come up to the others. "We're here. S'up?" asks Shawn.

"And we have no idea where Ari and Roz are. Julian's on an island." says Tolkien.

"Ha-ha. That sucker." says Anderson mischievously.

"How are we going to get him out?" asks Shawn.

"Meh, the interns will send a rescue party." says Chris. "INTERN!"

Cammy comes up to Chris, dressed in interns' garb. "What now?"

"Go find Julian on an island." says Chris.

"Can I take the plane?" asks Cammy.

"No, you must swim." says Chris.

"Damn it," says Cammy. She swims away, angrily.

"Was that my friend? I didn't even get to talk to her," says Estrella.

"Ooh, I love Cammy x MacKenzie. It's way better than Cammy and Trick, who should be with Antoine." says Yuri.

"Wait, so you like yuri, too?" asks Tolkien. "Your name fits."

"Yuri sucks, yaoi is 69,000 times better." says Yuri.

Then, the contestants look at the dock. Wolfgang, Neal, and Casey come out, carrying an unconscious Puck.

"Bad things happened," says Casey.

"Yeah? I can see." says Chris.

"Where are bratty, Tweedle-idiot, and creeps?" asks Anderson.

"Oh, they got lost somewhere, I think they'll be here soon." says Casey.

The scene switches to the middle of the ocean. The Tanukis are surrounded by sharks.

"What did you do, Gail?!" asks Kai.

"I'm sorry, I thought it was a nice shark, I was trying to be cool... I gave it a little bit of fish!" says Gail.

"Kai, just work your magic or something." says Horatio, trying to stay cool.

"I left my wand in my pants!" says Kai.

"Oh, so you need your wand to use magic?" asks Horatio. "That sucks."

"I suppose I could do something..." says Vivienne. "Hold on to me, guys."

"Oh, no way," says Kai.

Vivienne clutches everyone close to her, then everyone disappears.

Thomas then pokes his head out of the water after everyone has gone. "Where is..." He notices the sharks. "I'm screwed."

He swims away as fast as possible.

The scene changes to the dock, where everyone is back.

Julian glares at Tolkien. "You have no idea how pissed I am with you."

"Actually, I kind of do, wanna make up?" asks Tolkien.

"I'll think about it." says Julian.

"So, which team lost?" asks Casey, coming to Chris.

"Well, since Thomas and Julian came back at the exact same time, the Dharmas win, and the Fish Tails and Tanukis are both going to elimination!" says Chris.

"What?" says everyone on the Fish Tails and Tanukis.

"When are we gonna see our hotels?" asks Flora.

"Tomorrow, this chappy is getting long." says Chris.

"Hehehehe. Chappy. Long." says Roz.

"Shut up, Rosalind." says Anderson.

"Make me," says Roz.

"Let's go to elimination..." says Ari, attempting to change the subject.

The Tanukis and Fish Tails are now at elimination.

"All right, I got a lot of sushi for you. First piece goes to Flora."

Flora catches her sushi happily.

"Anderson, Tolkien, and Shawn are safe." says Chris.

Tolkien and Shawn get their sushi. Anderson just grumbles.

"Vivienne, and Kai, too." says Chris.

Kai takes out his magic wand, zaps his sushi, and it turns into a chocolate cake.

"How did you--" asks Tolkien.

"I got the magic in me." winks Kai.

"I thought only the Black Mage could do that!" says Tolkien.

"Anyways, Ari, Roz, and Yuri are safe, too."

The three girls get their sushi. Roz growls, and the other two girls give their sushi to her, and she licks it up.

"Estrella, Julian, Horatio." says Chris.

The three get their sushi, and Horatio makes a clicking noise.

"Thomas and Gail. Fish Tails, you guys are safe, not going home tonight. Tanukis, one of you will be out. Final sushi goes to..."

"Thomas."

"I got sushi. Cool." says Thomas, and he eats the sushi.

"Wait, you guys voted me off just because of that shark? Some team." says Gail.

"We could have died." says Horatio.

"You were mean to me." says Flora.

Gail starts to cry. A bird flies onto her shoulder, and spits on Flora. She then boards the Insert-Vehicle-Here and leaves.

"What an anti-climactic elimination. She was made to be an early out." says Tolkien.

"I hope we don't become the next Terrible Tikis..." says Vivienne.

"As long as we have you and Kai's magic, we'll be fine. Keep the faith." says Horatio.

The Tanukis leave.

"Who will be the next voted out? Will Julian do something else that's idiotic?" asks Chris.

"I'm right here, you know." says Julian.

"Findoutnexttimeontotaldramatokyo." says Chris. The episode then ends.

Chapter 4 - Bath House Blues
"Last time on Total Drama Tokyo, the contestants were stuck in Russia. They then went on boats, and did stuff on the boats... Julian was stuck in a deserted island, while Ari and Roz ran into Dolph. Other things happened, and the Dharmas won. The Tanukis voted off Gail, since she made them run into some evil and hungry sharks... Who will get the boot next? Find out today on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"

The Dharmas are in their cool hotel, hanging out.

"I can't believe we're finally in Tokyo. I've been wanting to go here for so long." says Casey.

"Uhh, last episode, you said that Tokyo was, er, a rude word." says Puck.

"Meh, it doesn't matter. We're here." says Casey. "What do you think our next challenge is gonna be?"

"I don't care," says Neal, while playing a video game.

"I'm with ya, kid." says Layla, while Charles is giving her a sponge bath. "Charles, scrub faster. I ain't getting any younger."

Charles sighs, and scrubs the sponge around Layla's wet body.

Wolfgang is asleep, and snoring loudly.

"He's annoying, I hate people who snore." says Layla. "Charles, wake him up."

"But I'm giving you a sponge bath," says Charles. "You can't expect me to multitask, can you?"

"Actually, I can. Do it." says Layla.

"But Wolfgang's a little, er, dangerous." says Casey.

"So is that chick over there," says Layla, pointing to Delia, who is reading a book in the corner.

Puck approaches Delia. "Hey, what's up? What book is that?"

"You know, it's a book about ponies... You wouldn't care." says Delia softly.

"I LOVE PONIES!" yells Puck. "Can I borrow it?"

"No." says Delia even more softly. "Especially since the ponies are kelpies, ferocious Celtic water spirits that lure you to go into the water, then drag you down to your death."

"Even better..." says Puck nervously.

Puck says in the confessional, "Delia's creepy... But she's hot. And hotness trumps creepiness, any day."

Charles is twiddling his thumbs, while Layla is still in the bathtub.

"Charles, I'm waiting for you to wake up Wolfgang." says Layla.

Charles sighs. He approaches the snoring Wolfgang, and pokes him with a pencil.

Wolfgang tosses and turns in his sleep, grunting.

Charles takes out some scissors, and cuts Wolfgang's hair.

Wolfgang wakes up. He stares at Charles for a moment, then screams at the top of his lungs extremely loudly, in an incredibly deep voice. He then goes back to sleep.

"Is this real life?" asks Puck.

"Yes, Puck, this is real life." says Charles. "Layla, that was painful."

"50 push ups, stat." says Layla.

Charles sighs, and gets on the floor. He rips off his shirt, revealing an extremely buff body with a 12-pack, then does the 50 push ups in less than a second.

"Well then," says Casey.

The scene then changes to the Fish Tails' dorm.

"Four episodes in and no elimination yet. I must say, I thought we were gonna suck @$$, but we're doing a'ight." says Anderson.

"Gee, thanks for the kind words." says Estrella.

"You're welcome, m'lady." says Anderson.

"Anderson, wanna play my new game, Groundrim?" asks Tolkien. "I've been addicted. It's the best game ever."

"Oh, so that's where you've been for the last day and a half. Where did you get the game?" asks Julian, while playing the drums loudly.

"Some shady dude in a dark alley." says Tolkien.

The scene switches to some shady dude in a dark alley. He has a bag full of Groundrim games, and is passing them out to strangers who walk by. He is dressed in a trenchcoat and a top hat, so you cannot see his face.

"Hey, man, can I have a game?" asks a tourist, walking up to him.

"Oh, yes. Here you go." says the guy. He hands the tourist a Groundrim game.

"Thanks, man. You're the best." says the tourist, and he walks away.

The shady guy says to himself, "I forgot to mention that those games are illegally downloaded, and anyone who owns one may be arrested." He then rips off his top hat, and the scene immediately changes before it is revealed who he is.

"I think it was Dolph." says Tolkien. "Sure reminds me of him."

"What would Dolph be doing in Japan?" asks Shawn.

"Then again, that Nyan cat can go up to 2000 miles per hour..." says Anderson.

"Hey, babe, what's the haps?" asks Julian, walking up to Estrella.

"Sorry, dude, but I'm really not in the mood. So, get outta here before I do something." says Estrella.

"I'll do something if you and Shawn don't date." says Yuri, popping out of nowhere.

"Shut up, Yuri." says everyone.

"I'll shut you up." says Yuri threateningly. "Oh, by the way, who wants to hear my new fanfic?"

Everyone stares at her, then resumes to what they were doing beforehand.

"Aww, come on, guys. It's an Owen x Brick one. It's called, 'The Brick and the Brick'." says Yuri.

"They weren't even in the same season..." says Shawn.

"Oh, guys, how do you like ROTI so far?" asks Roz, swinging down from the ceiling. "Me and Ari are watching it."

"I didn't want to, but she strapped me to a chair..." says Ari.

"It sucks. Scott is annoying as crap, and none of the girls are hot." says Anderson.

Tolkien slowly puts away a picture of Dawn that was sticking out of his pocket.

"My least favorite was Dawn, she was more annoying-er than Scott." says Anderson.

Tolkien rips the Dawn picture into little pieces, then throws it out the window.

Suzuki is walking across the street, and the shower of little Dawn pieces falls onto him.

"What the...?" he says.

The scene then changes to the Wily Tanukis, or what's left of them.

"You're looking at the new Team Victory, right here." says Thomas.

"Don't be so down on yourself, honey." says Horatio.

"Honey?" says Thomas.

"Honey is a yummy food." says Flora happily. "I also like going to Mickey D's. You guys?"

"I really want to say PJ right now, but that wiki meme is basically over, so I don't want a resurgence..." says Kai. "Who wants to see some magic?"

"I hate magic." says Thomas.

"Don't hate the player, hate the game." says Vivienne.

"I hate the game, too, since I just lost. Darn it, Vivienne." says Thomas.

"Well, do you guys think we have a chance to win the challenge, at all?" asks Vivienne.

"Not really, but whatever. We can go down in history as the crappy team of the season." says Kai.

"Don't be down on yourselves, guys." says Horatio. "Just believe in yourself, and everything will turn out fine."

"Horatio is right." says Flora happily. "If we work together, our goals will be accomplished."

"Don't be so optimistic. We're a failure." says Kai.

"Kai, you still have your magic." says Vivienne. "Don't be sad."

"Failure." says Kai. He then waves his wand and disappears in a cloud of purple smoke.

A noise is then heard outside. The Tanukis, excluding Kai, walk out, and see a gigantic, looming, Japanese building in front of them.

"Funny, I didn't notice that before..." says Thomas.

"Well, hello, everyone," says Chris, floating down. "The veterans will recognize this challenge. It was the last challenge, before our, um... Technical difficulties. But yeah, it's the bathhouse one."

"Oh, man." says Anderson, crossing his fingers.

"All right, so if you know, this is a bath house." says Chris. "You guys are going to bathe customers, and do other stuff that I tell you to do, all right?"

"Sure," says Roz. "I remember this one. With Dolph and whatever."

"Indeed. You guys have to pick members from the team to fill up the baths and bathe the customers, run the front desks, and make sure nobody eats the food." says Chris. "You guys remember what happened to Oz, last time?"

"Nope, who's Oz?" asks Puck. "Don't tell him." whispers Layla.

"All right, time to split up and start working." says Chris.

The Fish Tails walk to their bath. The people who are running the baths set up their stuff.

Anderson picks up a little pebble and throws it at Layla, on the other team.

"You little twerp. Charles, give him a nice spanking in the buttocks." says Layla.

"Madam, I'd rather not. I'm quite tired." says Charles.

"Oooh. Spank me in the buttocks. Come on, do it." says Anderson, wiggling his butt.

Charles shakes his head, and spanks Anderson extremely hard. His butt gets red.

"Uh, Anderson, don't start a fight." says Roz. "Charles seems feisty."

"I'll get feisty if Julian and Shawn don't date in the next thirty seconds." says Yuri angrily.

"Just shut up, Yuri." says Shawn.

Tolkien stands up. "So, guys, I think we should divide into groups. Me, Anderson, Ari, and Roz can bathe the customers. Julian and Shawn can run the front desk, and Estrella and Yuri can make sure nobody eats the food."

"How did I know?" says Estrella snidely.

"Don't complain, Estrella, we can have fun. I'll tell you about my forum." says Yuri.

"Oh, god..." says Estrella, and Yuri grabs Estrella, pulling her to the food tables.

"Uh, guys, will the people we're bathing be..." says Ari. "Clothed?"

"Hopefully." says Tolkien. "Sounds almost as bad as Chatrotate." Ari laughs.

Tolkien says in the confessional, "Yay, Ari's laughing at stuff I say. Either she has a horrible sense of humor or I'm the King of Komedy. Wait, that's my cuz."

Anderson takes his clothes off and dives into the bath.

"Whaddya waitin' for, guys? Wanna bathe me?" asks Anderson.

"I don't think you're a customer," says Roz, who is playing with a lighter.

"So? Will someone massage my--" says Anderson.

"EWWCRAPNO." says Tolkien.

The bell then rings. Shawn goes over, and lets the first customer in. Elle walks in.

"Hey, guys." says Elle. "I really kind of want a bath."

"I call bathing her." says Tolkien and Anderson simultaneously.

"Relax, guys, there's enough of me to go around. Hehe." says Elle. She takes her shirt off, and puts a towel around her chest, then gets into the bath.

"I'll be..." says Roz. "Anywhere but here."

She climbs onto the ceiling, then disappears.

"So, first, I want you guys to put ointment on my back. I haven't tanned in forever, and it's getting all crackly." says Elle.

Meanwhile, the Mini Dharmas are not doing well.

"We haven't had any customers..." says Casey, from the door.

"And plus, I have all this luscious food in front of me, and I can't eat any of it. I hate you guys." says Neal, in front of the food table.

"I'm content taking a bath, personally." says Puck.

Wolfgang flicks Puck. "Take it easy, man." says Puck.

A customer finally rings the bell. "I'm ready to be baaaathed." says a growly voice.

"Let him in." says Casey. Neal walks over to the door and lets the customer in.

"Who wants to take my clothes off for me?" asks Arthur.

"Isabel does." says Layla cunningly.

"I'd love to!" says Isabel. She rushes over to Arthur. "No, man, I was kidding." says Arthur. Isabel takes off Arthur's shirt.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is quality entertainment, right here." says Neal.

"I'm fine." says Arthur. He jumps into the tub. "Get your soap ready, peeps."

"I refuse to do this." whispers Delia. Wolfgang grunts, and pushes Delia.

"Wolfgang, try to 'chill' out. Come on, hang loose." says Puck. Wolfgang pushes him into the bath, with Arthur. Some bubbles rise out of Arthur's rear, and Puck vomits in the water, then gets out.

"Charles, since you're the only tolerable person here, bathe Arthur." says Layla. Charles gets a sponge. "I hate my life." he mutters.

"Aaah, that's the stuff." says Arthur. "This is what I came here for."

"For being sponged by an old crotchety butler?" asks Neal. Charles glares at him.

Puck is looking at the food. He drools, and picks up a chicken wing.

Wolfgang slaps him, and Puck puts it down.

Wolfgang then points to his groin, and then the water. He leaves.

The second that Wolfgang leaves, Puck picks up the food and begins to scarf it down.

"OH, CRAP, PUCK, DON'T--" says Neal.

There is a poof, and Puck turns into a pig.

"Oink." says Pig Puck.

The scene changes to Thomas, who is walking around in the lobby.

"I gotta find ointment for Vincent..." he says to himself. "Ooh."

Thomas gets into the elevator. Then, a gigantic blobby spirit gets in with him, as well as three bouncing green heads.

"This is so awkward." says Thomas.

The radish spirit farts.

The three heads bounce around. "Oi! Oi! Oi!"

Thomas faints. "Aaaugh."

He then gets to the top floor, and the radish spirit and the three heads bounce away. Thomas sighs, and walks into a candlelit room.

"Where am I?" he asks.

"Oh, hey, dude," says Casey. "You're in the ointment shop."

"Why are you here, Casey?" he asks.

"I was looking for ointment. Oh, wait..." says Casey. "I shouldn't be talking to you. Get away from me, you jerk."

"Uhh..." says Thomas. "I just want ointment..."

"Oh, well, get it yourself, I'm not helping you." says Casey. "Stupid unpopular guy."

Thomas walks over to the ointment shelf and picks up the ointment. "There, thanks, I guess."

Casey looks at Thomas. He waves at her awkwardly. She then sprints over to him and begins to make out with him.

Thomas gasps for air as Casey is violently kissing him.

She then releases him, and his face turns green, and he passes out.

"I'm going to go now..." says Thomas.

"Be the Donny to my Chelsey." says Casey seductively.

Thomas says in the confessional, "What is wrong with that chick? I thought Vivienne was weird."

Thomas then walks past the elevator, deciding to take the stairs instead.

"Aww, man, I'm so screwed!" yells a naked Anderson, running past Thomas.

"Come back here, you little--" says Roz, running past Thomas as well. "We don't want to do this, but we might have to." Roz takes out a lighter. Ari follows her, as well.

"Please don't kill me!" says Anderson, while running.

"Uhhh, we shouldn't kill him..." says Ari.

"I'm just a poor little boy!" whines Anderson. He then ducks into a corner.

"Where'd he go..." says Ari.

"I got him." says Roz. She finds Anderson, picks him up, and continues running, with Ari running as well.

"Where are we taking him?" asks Ari. "To Chris?"

"No, to the bathroom." says Roz. "He's gonna get his just desserts." Roz puts duct tape on Anderson's mouth.

The three get to the bathroom, and Roz takes a towel from a towel rack. Roz gets it wet, and whips Anderson with it in the butt.

"OW!" yells Anderson. "AGAIN?!"

Ari hands Roz a towel, and she whips Anderson with it, again.

"Come on, guys, didn't you get tired of this the first time?" asks Anderson.

"No. It's fun to see you writhe in pain." says Roz.

"Roz, this isn't a good idea..." says Ari.

"Calm your moobs, gurl." says Roz.

"Fine, I'll stop complaining and being annoying! Just stop whipping me in the butt with these frickin' towels!" says Anderson.

"Our work here is done. Come on, let's take care of some bid-ness." says Roz. Ari follows her.

Tolkien comes in. "Did it happen again?"

"You got it, dude." says Anderson.

Shawn then comes in. "Guys, it's time for the elimination, meet Chris outside."

"My butt is on fire." whines Anderson, on the ground.

"What's wrong with him?" asks Shawn.

"The same thing as last time..." says Tolkien. "Guess he's just unlucky."

"I don't think that's the problem..." says Shawn.

Chris meets the contestants outside the bathhouse.

"So, there will be no elimination tonight, as long as nobody touched the food." says Chris.

"Did anyone touch the food?" asks Horatio.

"Uhhh..." says Neal, holding up a pig with a helmet on.

"Oink." says Pig Puck.

"DIDN'T I TELL YOU." says Chris. "I was afraid that would happen. Which is why I told you specifically not to eat the food."

Chris snaps his fingers, and Puck turns back into a human.

"Uhhh. What just happened?" asks a woozy Puck.

"Nothing, nothing at all. You just hit your head." says Casey.

"So, Dharmas, I'll see you at elimination tonight." says Chris.

"Dang it!" says Layla. "You guys suck. Charles, give me a lollipop."

Charles reaches into his satchel and pulls out a lollipop.

"I licked it, I hope you don't mind." says Charles.

"What do you mean, of course I mind! Clean it up." says Layla.

"But..." says Charles. "NOW." says Layla.

Charles trots away, and lets out a fart.

Puck says in the confessional, "Aww, man, I'm gonna be out tonight... Darn it. Why did I have to eat that food?"

Casey says in the confessional, "Wolfgang or Puck... I can't stop thinking about my new boyfriend, haha."

Wolfgang angrily votes Puck in the confessional.

Chris meets the Dharmas at elimination.

"So, team, what happened? Thought you were gonna be like >9000." says Chris.

"So did we, but I guess not." says Delia softly.

"Delia, you get sushi, same with Neal." says Chris.

The two get their sushi.

"Isabel, and Layla." says Chris.

"Charles, pass me my--" says Layla. "Oh, wait, he's cleaning off my lollipop."

"Casey." says Chris.

"Why, thank you, Chris." says Casey, as she gets her sushi.

"All right... Wolfgang and Puck. Wolfgang, you're a jerk to Puck, who was turned into a pig because of his own stupidity. The sushi goes to..."

"Puck."

"WHOO, YEAH!" says Puck. "Wait, why Wolfgang?"

Wolfgang stares at Puck for a moment. He then begins to talk, in the highest voice imaginable.

"Puck... I hate you. I always did. You're just too much of a DUMB@$$ to notice it. So, just, bug off, and leave me alone. Stop being such a turd." he snaps.

"I thought you liked me!" says Puck.

"Liked you? LIKED YOU?!" yells Wolfgang. "MY LIFE IS LIKE A FART!" he screams, then runs away.

"All righty, then. Who will be out next? Will Puck get through a whole episode without making an ice-related pun? I doubt it, but find out next time on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"

Chapter 5 - Take Me Ohm
"Last time on Total Drama Tokyo, the contestants worked in a bathhouse. The Dharmas experienced some troubles with Arthur, and the Fish Tails won... again. Yeah, I'm starting to think there's something wrong with them. The Dharmas lost, and they voted out Wolfgang, probably for being annoying and rude. He left, but not before he confessed his hatred towards Puck. Who will be out next? Find out now!"

"So, guys, who wants to play some sort of game?" asks Puck.

"I hate games." says Layla. "Charles, give me some jelly beans."

"We're all out, you ate them all yesterday." says Charles.

"Well, find more." snaps Layla. "Like, now."

"But the kind of jelly beans you like are not available in Japan." says Charles.

"So? Just cause they may be a little bit hard to find doesn't mean you shouldn't get me any. GO." says Layla.

"So, tell me about yourselves." says Neal, lying in bed with Isabel and Casey.

"Well, I really like ponies. They're so cute." says Isabel.

Neal gasps. "Whaddya know. Me too." He winks.

"Neal, don't you have better things to do?" asks Casey.

"No, not really, actually." says Neal.

Casey goes to the bathroom, and begins to brush her teeth. A bucket falls onto her head from the ceiling.

Delia pops out of a board in the ceiling. "Give me my bucket, please."

"Why did you just throw it at my head?" asks an angry Casey.

"I didn't mean to. It accidentally dropped. Give it." says Delia.

Casey reluctantly hands Delia her bucket.

Delia throws it onto Casey's head again and Casey gets knocked out this time.

Neal looks at the violent scene in the bathroom. "So, Isabel, tell me more."

The camera moves to Puck, all alone in the boys' room, in bed under the covers, playing his Wintendo SD.

"This is great! Now that Neal is talking to girls, I get the whole guys' room to myself! And that means I can walk around..." says Puck. He pulls off the sheets, revealing... "Naked."

Neal walks into the room, sees the naked Puck, then slowly turns away.

"Brrrrrrrrr." says Puck. "It's cold without any clothes."

Puck then puts a spotted, leopard-print loincloth on. "There, that's better."

He then picks up a book. Casey walks in. "What are you doing?"

"I'm readin'." says Puck. "Ever done it before?"

"Nope, I hate reading, unless it's Gossipy Gurl, or The Secret Life Of The Canadian Adolescent." says Casey.

"That's poor, Casey. You gotta occasionally read a book, or you'll fall behind the times." says Puck.

"Ugh, Puck, I'm trying to concentrate." says Casey.

"On what?" asks Puck. "All you're doing is talking to me."

"Why are you wearing a loincloth, anyways?" asks Casey.

"Why aren't you wearing one?" winks Puck.

Casey groans, then walks away.

Casey says in the confessional, "Puck is so annoying, it's not even funny. My whole team sucks. Except for Isabel, but she's an idiot. Sigh... Although, I think I could do some things with Puck. Let's see how this turns out." She laughs evilly.

"Yo, so, Casey-o, whatcha wann--" says Puck.

Casey runs up to Puck and begins to kiss him violently.

Puck gasps for air, and she does not let go.

Casey finally lets go after about twenty seconds, and then skips away.

"See you later, sweetie." she says cheerfully.

Neal walks into the room.

"What just happened?" he asks suspiciously.

"I..." says Puck. "Something very 'cool' happened..."

Neal says in the confessional, "All right, there's something weird about that Casey. She's up to no good."

Kai then walks into the room.

"Who's the weirdo in the top hat?" asks Layla, walking in.

"I'm Kai Amadeus Bertilrud, the amazing magician." says Kai. "Surprised you don't know me."

"And, why are you here?" asks Neal.

Chris then walks in.

"Kai here is going to be joining your team. The other team, the Tanukis, will get Casey and Puck." says Chris.

"What?!" yell Casey and Puck simultaneously.

"Vivienne is controlling Kai, and he needs to have personality, like magic tricks. Casey and Puck need to be on the Tanukis cause Thomas is on there. Ha." says Chris.

A flashback is shown to Casey making out with Thomas the day before.

"Oh, no." mutters Casey.

"What's up, my chill babe? Polar bear got your tongue?" asks Puck.

"Uhhhh..." says Casey. "I'll be right back."

She runs into the bathroom, and pukes. She then comes out.

"All right, so I'll get my stuff ready." says Puck. He gets his suitcase and leaves.

Kai plops down on Puck's old bed.

"Great, 'tis warm." he says sarcastically.

"So you're on our team now?" asks Isabel

"No, he's not, Chris just said he was a billion times." says Neal.

"Ohhhh. Silly Chris. Hehe." says Isabel.

The scene changes to Puck and Casey, walking to the Tanukis' room.

Casey is holding Puck's hand. "Your hands are cold."

"I know. That's what living with th' penguins can do to ya." says Puck.

"Oh, Puck, you're so cute." says Casey. She makes out with Puck again.

Puck says in the confessional, "All right, I don't mind all this kissin', but Casey is kind of weird. Does she like Thomas or me?"

Casey says in the confessional, "Do I like Thomas or Puck?"

Casey and Puck get into the room, still holding hands.

Thomas looks up from a video game. "Uh.."

Thomas says in the confessional, "Man, that Casey chick is really screwed up."

Vivienne walks to the door. "You guys are our new team members?"

"Indeed, we are. What's up?" asks Puck.

"Nothing much." says Horatio, walking to the two while snapping his fingers. "This is the chill zone."

"I'm glad you guys are part of our team." says Flora happily.

"Who's she? I've never noticed her." says Puck.

"Meh, she's just there." says Horatio.

Vivienne begins to sniffle. "But I miss Kai."

"Get over it, and you can see him when, if, you make the merge." says Thomas.

The Fish Tails are chilling out in their dorm.

"Roz, what are you doing?" asks Anderson.

Roz is at the computer, looking at disturbing pictures.

"I enjoy expressing myself." she says.

Roz then clicks on another file, and it is a large picture of Chappy.

"This is Chappy," she says.

"No, this is Patrick." says Anderson.

"No... This... Is... SPARTAAAA!" yells Julian.

"No, this is the-author-is-running-out-of-ideas-and-has-to-resort-to-internet-memes." says Tolkien.

"True dat." says Julian.

Ari comes down. "I'm not even gonna..."

"Oh, Ari, just in time, wanna join us in our fun?" asks Roz.

Ari moves away from Roz and sits on the couch.

Tolkien walks to the couch and sits next to Ari.

"Hey..." he says.

"Hi." says Ari.

"What's the haps?" asks Tolkien.

"Heh, he's trying to be cool. Trust me, kid, it all goes downhill from here." says Estrella, reading a book.

"It will all go downhill from here if Julian and Shawn don't date in the next 60 seconds." says Yuri, popping up.

"I don't find your humor funny." says Estrella dryly.

"I don't find your pseudo-relationship with Julian funny." says Yuri.

"Your mom doesn't find what we did in bed last night funny." says Anderson.

"Anderson, that's gross." says Tolkien.

"I live to be gross." says Anderson.

Chris is shown watching the contestants' interactions.

"All right, the crude humor is really getting annoying. Chef, if you please?" asks Chris.

Chef pushes a button, and a burlap sack drops from the sky and onto Anderson.

"Mmrpht! Schmrph!" says Anderson, muffled.

"Let's keep him in there," says Estrella. "It will be fun."

"Indeed, it certainly will." says Julian.

"Don't agree with me." says Estrella. "It annoys me."

Anderson says something vulgar within the sack.

"How did he even say that?" asks Tolkien.

"Who knows? And who cares." says Estrella.

Julian says in the confessional, "All right, Estrella is hot, but she sure isn't nice. Man, what can I do to win her over?"

Tolkien walks over to the computer and gets on HeadNovel.

"Oh, you have a HeadNovel? I'll friend you." says Julian. "What's your last name?"

"That's personal info." says Tolkien.

"Good, same here. I'll change my HN last name to Flexkdhnsvrjst." says Julian.

Estrella is reading a book. "HeadNovel is for losers who have no social life and must resort to fake-socializing on an Internet site."

"So, I guess that makes me a loser who has no social life and must resort to fake-socializing on an Internet site." says Julian.

"Yup." says Estrella.

"Whatever, I can live with that." says Julian.

The scene changes to the contestants, who are being brought up on a gigantic hot air balloon.

"Chris, what are we doing that requires the use of a hot air balloon?" says Casey.

"You'll see. Be patient!" he snaps.

"'Cause this doesn't really look like Japan." says Yuri.

"Your mom doesn't really look like Japan." says Anderson crudely.

The contestants get out of the balloon and onto a circular platform in the middle of the sky.

Thunderclouds are booming, and five people in hoods are on smaller platforms hovering in the air.

"Hey, this reminds me of a minigame I played in Jario Fiesta." says Tolkien.

"Oh, yeah, I'm Coming Ohm?" asks Julian.

"Yeah, cause the writers totally didn't play Jario Fiesta and jot down notes because they couldn't think of Japanese challenges." says Chris. "I swear."

"Ugh, Chris, you get worse every episode," says Estrella. "So, what are the rules?"

"Well, you guys will all be dumped onto the platform. The five people in hoods will control a barrage of ohms, which will attack you and zap you. You must jump over the ohms in order to survive. If an ohm ray hits you, you're out, and the last one standing wins invincibility for their team." says Chris.

"Are you sure this is safe?" asks Puck.

"No, not really." says Chris.

"And who are those weird hooded guys?" asks Kai.

"Well, guys, introduce yourselves, will ya?" says Chris.

The first hooded person takes off their hood, and it is Bess.

"Howdy, y'all! Glad ta be back in Tokyo, mate!" says Bess.

"BESS!" says Roz. "Remember me?"

"Yeah, Rozzy, y'all tryna kill me? I rememba' ya." says Bess.

The second person takes off their hood and reveals to be Quincy.

"Hello, kids. It is I, Quincy. I created this ohm thing, and I deserve full credit." says Quincy.

"Yeah, here's 20 bucks." says Chris.

He tosses Quincy twenty bucks, but the third hooded person pulls a lever and an ohm comes out, disintegrating the money.

Quincy says something naughty.

The third hooded person reveals to be Bart.

"Heh, heh, Quincy, I killed your money. Are ya mad?" he says.

"What is he doing here?" asks Horatio nervously.

"He tried to kill us!" says Anderson.

"And I will proceed to do the same thing today." says Bart nefariously.

"Dang it." says Tolkien. "I'm too young to die."

"I'm not." says Estrella.

The fourth hooded person reveals to be Dolph.

"Hello, chaps, ready to die?" he says nefariously.

"Aw, man, Chris, you had to bring him back again?" asks Shawn.

"Man, I hated that guy so much." says Neal.

"Would you guys like to give me a hundred bucks, or get blasted by ohms?" asks Dolph.

"I kind of wanna get blasted by ohms." says Anderson.

Chris puts on a boombox and it starts to play heavy metal music.

"Fifth shadow figure is an intern, ready to go?" asks Chris.

Mattie rips off her hood. "I'm not an intern."

"Well, someone who nobody cares about, ready to go?" asks Chris.

"Nobody cares about me..." mutters Flora. "But I'm happy."

"READY TO GO?" asks Chris.

"Uh, sure." says everyone.

Chris blows a whistle, and the challenge begins.

Dolph pulls a lever, and sends an ohm flying towards Anderson.

The ohm zaps Anderson in the butt, and sends him flying.

"Ouchies!" he says. "My arse!"

"Quit complaining, you're gonna lose it for our team." says Estrella, while sitting down and reading a book.

An ohm zaps Estrella's book and it disintegrates.

Another ohm zaps Estrella's hair, and it sticks up, all spiky.

"Purrrfect." she says, and she sits in the sidelines.

An ohm is flying towards Layla and Charles.

"Charles, be my human shield." says Layla.

Charles runs away extremely quickly.

Isabel walks by Layla.

"Isabel, you be my human shield." says Layla.

"I don't wanna!" says Isabel. "I wanna win the challenge! Teehee!"

"Be my human shield, you runt!" says Layla.

Layla pushes Isabel in front of her, but an ohm zaps both of them.

"Gee, thanks a lot." says Layla.

Charles, whose head is completely black from most likely getting zapped by an ohm, walks over towards the girls.

"Layla, I'm getting tired of your antics." says Charles.

Kai is dodging the ohms.

An ohm then appears thanks to Bart, and begins rolling towards Kai.

"Kai, I'll save you!" says Vivienne, rushing towards him.

"I do not need to be saved, plus you're on the other team!" says Kai.

Vivienne starts to cry, then teleports.

The ohm is getting closer to Kai.

"Razzamafoo!" says Kai, waving his wand. The ohm turns into chocolate rain.

The chocolate rain sprinkles on Kai, and he licks it up.

"How did you do that?" asks Puck.

"Magic." says Kai. "Do not question."

"I didn't." says Puck. "Uh-huh." says Kai.

An ohm then zaps both of them. Kai's hat and Puck's helmet turn into dust.

Neal is standing in the middle of the stadium.

An ohm zaps his foot, and his shoe falls off.

"What the--?" asks Neal.

Bart throws a banana at Neal, and it hits him in the head.

"Is he allowed to do that?" asks Delia. "Because I'm not afraid to do stuff,"

"He's not on the show, so he can do anything he wants." says Chris.

Bart throws a watermelon at Delia.

Bart then laughs obnoxiously.

Delia takes out a knife.

Bart quits laughing, and jumps off the side of the stadium.

Ohms then zap many of the other contestants.

Tolkien is shown running away with Ari.

"Ari, save me!" says Tolkien. He jumps into Ari's arms.

"Uh, Tolkien, can you get off of me?" asks Ari.

Tolkien wets his pants, then tumbles away, straight into an ohm.

"Aaaieeee." he says, rolling around.

"All right, now I feel bad..." says Ari.

"Don't!" says Roz. She falls out of the sky, scoops Ari up, then runs away. "Come on!"

An ohm is following them. It quickly catches up to them, then zaps them.

Horatio then emerges from a bush. He looks around, and sees that everyone is gone.

"Chris, where is everyone?" he asks.

Chris points to the sidelines, where everyone is. They are all burnt, with their hair sticking up or some of their clothes burnt/gone.

"I took two hours fixing this hair this morning." whines Layla.

Tolkien is hugging Ari and sighing.

"Can you get off of me? It's kinda creepy." says Ari.

"Yeah, the only reason guys hug girls is so they can feel the girls' boobies." says Roz.

Everyone stares at Roz.

"It's true, actually," says Estrella. "Very true." She narrows her eyes at Julian.

"What?" says Julian innocently.

Chris then speaks on his loudspeaker. "Since Horatio is the last one standing, the Tanukis win! Somehow. Maybe it's because of Casey and Puck. But whatever, Fish Tails, wanna go to elimination?"

"Dammit!" says Anderson loudly.

Julian says in the confessional, "Yuri's nuts. I hate her humor, and her fanfictions are scary, dude. But Anderson's annoying. Who to vote out?"

Anderson says in the confessional, while naked, "Yup. Just loungin' around. I really like bein' in the buff, it gives me a sense of accomplishment, and also it's kind of freeing. Don't even ask, dude."

Ari says in the confessional, "I really like this alliance-with-Roz thing, but she's dangerous..."

Yuri says in the confessional, "If something doesn't happen sometime, someone's gonna get dangerous."

Chris is at the elimination. "Sushi bags go to Roz, Tolkien, and Julian."

The three collect their sushi bags.

"And Ari, and Shawn. Also Estrella." says Chris.

"I couldn't care less," says Estrella.

"Yuri and Anderson. Final sushi goes to..."

"An--"

"Yeah, I know I got 19th place again. See ya, folks. It wasn't fun." says Anderson.

"Actually, Anderson, you're safe..." says Chris.

"I'm not falling for your dumb games, dude. I wanna go, it's boring here. See ya." says Anderson.

"But Anderson, you can stay." says Tolkien sadly.

"No, it's totally fine, see ya, Anderson!" says Yuri.

"Wait, but--" says Anderson.

Yuri pushes Anderson into the Insert-Vehicle-Here, and then he drives off.

"I hate you, team!" he says, while trailing off.

"Wow..." says Tolkien. "Way to go, Yuri."

"You're welcome, hehe. That's for no relationship." says Yuri. "You and Anderson seemed to be just friends, anyways."

"Who will go next? Find out... next. See ya." says Chris, signing off the episode.

Chapter 6 - Puckémon
“Last time on Total Drama Tokyo, the contestants had an electric challenge. The Tanukis won, or did the Dharmas? I don’t even remember. But whatever, I know that the Fish Tails lost, and they voted off Yuri, but Anderson apparently thought he was getting voted out, so he left, and Yuri stayed… What a screwed-up kid. All right, time to check in on the contestants. McLean out.”

The Fish Tails are in their dorm. Tolkien is slumped onto the couch.

“Why are you so sad that Anderson’s gone again? That means you get some quality time with Ari. Sounds good, eh?” says Julian, in an attempt to cheer up Tolkien.

“I don’t care, man. Anderson gave me good advice on how to pick up chicks, including Ari.” says Tolkien.

“Yeah, but I can give you advice, too. Ever thought of that?” asks Julian.

“All right. That will work. What do you have?” asks Tolkien.

“Well, first of all, don’t wear cologne. Girls don’t like cologne unless they like ugly, pompous jocks, and you’re not an ugly, pompous jock. So, yeah, no cologne. Let your pits develop a natural smell. That’s what I do, and you know Estrella loves me.” says Julian.

“No, she doesn’t, but whatever, go on.” says Tolkien.

“All right. Also, you can’t be too obvious. Girls think you’re creepy when you’re constantly trying to flirt with them and whatnot. So, don’t spend all of your time with the girl trying to hit on her.” says Julian.

“But, that’s exactly what you do…” says Tolkien.

“Fine, whatever. One more thing, ditch the cards. Girls think they’re dorky, and you don’t want to look like a nerd in front of a hot girl.” says Julian.

“But I am a nerd. You know what, your advice sucks. I’m going to a more reliable source.” says Tolkien, and he walks away.

“Whatever, it’s his loss…” says Julian after Tolkien is gone. “Besides, since Shawn is showering, who’s a reliable source on this team?”

The scene switches to Tolkien, who’s upstairs with Roz. “All right, so ya want girl advice, eh?” says Roz. “I can help you, if you want. Hehe.”

“Fine, Roz. But only because Anderson is gone, and Julian sucks at advice. What do you think? How can I impress Ari?” pleads Tolkien.

“Well, first of all, you can’t. She doesn’t like you, man. But you can still try to win her over or whatever. First of all, you should wear cologne, she likes it. She thinks it smells good.” says Roz.

Ari walks in to the room. “What’s going on here…?”

Roz yells something extremely dirty, and Ari leaves quickly.

“All right, back to girls.” says Roz. “You should try to flirt with her whenever you can, since the more you flirt, the better chance you have of winning her over. Girls like that too, unless they’re into ugly, pompous jocks.”

“I’m going to kill Julian.” says Tolkien quietly. “Eh?” asks Roz. “Nothing.” says Tolkien quickly.

“Also, one more thing. You gotta keep th’ cards. Ari secretly loves Luncheons and Laggins…” Roz realizes what she has just said. “Oops. Sorry. I’m an idiot.”

“She does?!” screams Tolkien. “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”

“She’s super self-conscious about it, so don’t mention it. She has a secret stash in her backpack, though.” says Roz. “Don’t look.”

Tolkien runs over to Ari’s backpack. “All right, look. But heed my warning.” says Roz.

Tolkien digs through for a few seconds, then pulls out a golden, glittering card. “OH… MY… GOD.” he says loudly.

“What?” yells Roz.

“Ari has… the rarest card in the Devil’s Stronghold expansion pack… Oh my god, the Moss Giant… 1500 attack, 3600 defense, 30 speed. Obviously, speed isn’t its forte, hehe. But still, I want this thing so bad!” says Tolkien.

“Steal it.” says Roz.

"Why would I do that? I want Ari to like me, not to try and kill me!" says Tolkien.

"Yeah, but it would be pretty frickin' funny." says Roz. Tolkien looks at her. "It would." says Roz.

Estrella says in the confessional, "Seems that our team is a gigantic love dodecahedron. Yuri likes Shawn and Julian's pairing, while Julian likes me, and I like, er, nobody, then Tolkien likes Ari, but he also likes Roz, and Ari doesn't like Tolkien, and I have no idea about Shawn... Wow, such a screwed up team, hope I get voted off next... But then I wouldn't be with Jul-- I mean, Roz. Yeah, definitely Roz. DARN!"

Yuri says in the confessional, "Seriously, if Julian and Shawn don't date in the next episode..." She pauses. "All right, this thing has taken over my personality. Time to write some inappropriate yuri fanfictions! Yeeeep! I just really hope that my secret crush on Shawn doesn't get in the wa... Wait, what did I just say? DARN!"

Ari says in the confessional, "Tolkien's cute. But I don't want to date him, since he's super weird... Let me see what he does today."

The scene changes to the Mini Dharmas, in their dorm.

"Ugh, this crossword puzzle is so irritating." says Layla, reading a magazine. "Charles, solve it for me."

"But, I don't know how to do crossword puzzles. It was the one thing I never learned." says Charles. Layla flashes him a grimace, and he takes the crossword puzzle.

Charles says in the confessional, "Layla is not a nice girl."

"Ooh, I love wordcross puzzles, Layla. They're soooo fun." says Isabel.

Charles says in the confessional, "Isabel is a very nice girl."

"Charlie, can I help you? This is so fun." says Isabel happily.

"Here, it's all yours." Charles throws the crossword puzzle magazine at Isabel's face, and she topples over.

Delia is jotting down notes in her notepad. Her notepad reads, "Blonde rude @#$%& must go, now. Stupid one may be a valuable ally. The butler is a tool, and Mr. Top Hat is somewhat all right."

There is a puff of smoke. Kai appears next to Delia. "Whatcha doooin'?" he asks.

"None of your business. Besides, why should I tell you? You can't be trusted." says Delia.

"Oh, you are mistaken, I can totally be trusted. Except around my older brother. I hate him so much." says Kai.

"Tell me about him," says Delia. "Now."

"Well, he's a jerk, and he's always pushing me around and stuff." says Kai.

"Cool." says Delia.

"And he likes to think he's better than me, which he is not." says Kai.

Neal appears. "Who, me? Cause I'm better than you guys."

"Neal, can you leave? We're trying to have a conversation." says Kai.

Neal shakes his head, and leaves.

"So, uh, Delia, where were we at?" says Kai, attempting to restart the conversation.

"There's the door." says Delia rudely.

Kai looks at the door, then exits out of it.

Kai says in the confessional, "Is it weird that I find Delia somewhat attractive?"

The scene changes to the Wily Tanukis' bedroom.

"So, guys, this team sure is 'cool'. I love you guys." says Puck.

"I love you too, Puck." says Flora. "I try to be kind to everyone."

"Even though you have no personality?" says Thomas.

"Yes, I have a lot of personality, thank you very much." says Flora.

Thomas throws a pillow at Flora. "Ow." says Flora blandly.

Horatio shakes his head. "Thomas, chill out, dude."

"All right, small boy." says Thomas.

Casey comes out of the bathroom. Her hair is straightened, she is wearing make up and eyeliner, and she looks overall gorgeous.

"Oh, my, god." exclaim Puck and Thomas simultaneously.

"Yeah, hey, guys." says Casey. "Like my makeover?"

There is a boinging noise. Puck looks at his trousers.

"That's borderline-R rating." says an offscreen voice.

"Willis, you should be monitoring the censors." says another one.

Somebody says something dirty.

A sound of something crashing is heard.

"Uh, we're gonna need an ambulance." says a voice.

The scene is back to the Tanukis' bedroom.

"I miss Kai..." says Vivienne. "It isn't the same without him."

"Meh, he didn't do much." says Thomas.

"Yeah, but even his presence could brighten up someone's day." says Vivienne.

"I beg to differ." says Casey.

"Excuse me?" asks Vivienne.

"Never mind..." says Casey. "Just, never mind."

Chris walks into the cabin.

"Today's challenge is gonna be super fun, guys. You ready?" asks Chris.

"Actually, no, not really, and what do you mean by fun?" asks Puck.

"You'll see. Heck, we even named the challenge after you." says Chris.

"Is it hockey?" asks Puck gleefully.

"How does 'hockey' relate to 'Puck'?" asks Chris. He thinks for a moment. "No, it's not hockey."

"Is it something that doesn't have to do with Japan at all?" asks Horatio. "Because it seems that we've had a lot of those."

"It kind of has to do with Japan, or at least, something that was made in Japan." says Chris.

Chris meets the contestants outside. He has a large trunk of costumes.

"Today's challenge is called 'Puckemon'." says Chris. Everyone groans.

"Whoo, I love Pogeyman! I have every single game!" says Tolkien.

Ari says in the confessional, "Man, Tolkien plays Pogeyman? So do I, but I don't feel like saying anything... He'll just like me even more... Ugh."

"The three teams will all dress up as Puckemon and battle. You can use 'moves' and stuff, and basically it's a LARP." says Chris.

"Eww, I can't be seen doing this. I have to be a Trainer." says Layla.

"Sorry, the trainers will be Chef, Billy the intern, and Smoothie Guy." says Chris. "You're gonna be a Poke, Layla."

"Ugh, Charles, tell him to let me be a trainer." says Layla.

"Actually, I think it will be very enjoyable to see you in a big blobby costume." says Charles.

"You irritate me." Layla stomps on Charles' foot.

"Oh, also, you guys can't choose which Puckemon you're going to be. We got the ones with the closest names to yours." says Chris.

"Tolkepi?" jokes Tolkien.

"Actually, yes," says Chris, and he tosses a gigantic egg costume to Tolkien.

"Ugh." says Tolkien, putting on the egg costume. "I look stupid."

"You're all going to look stupid soon, so deal with it, or you're out." says Chris.

An intern tosses Shawn a Pikachu costume, Ari an Ariados costume, Roz a Roserade costume, Julian a Reuniclus costume, Estrella a Gothitelle costume, Yuri a Jirachi costume, and then holds up a Charmander costume.

"Hey, why isn't there anyone for this Charmander?" asks the intern.

"Well, since 'Charmanderson' left last episode, there's nobody to put it on." says Chris.

"Just give it to me," says Horatio.

The intern tosses Horatio the Charmander costume.

Horatio puts on the costume, and it is extremely tight.

Puck giggles at Horatio, but is then tossed a Piplup costume.

"Hey, why can't I be 'Puckachu'?" whines Puck.

"Because, Pikachu went to Shawn." says Chris.

"But 'Shawnkachu' doesn't sound any good." complains Puck.

Chris ignores Puck, and gives Thomas a Torterra costume, Flora a Dunsparce costume, and Casey an Infernape costume. Vivienne gets a Misdreavus costume.

"Hey, this costume kind of matches my personality." says Vivienne.

Vivienne disappears. She then reappears with the costume on.

"How did you... Never mind." says Casey.

Chef comes in with the last set of costumes, and gives Layla a Lickilicky costume, Kai an Alakazam costume, Isabel a Marill costume, Neal a Nidoran costume, and Delia a Gardevoir costume.

"Hey, can I be the mascot?" asks Neal, putting the costume on.

"We can't see your face." says Kai.

"Isn't that the point of a mascot?" says Neal. He bounces around, and falls on his butt.

"Eww, what is this?" says Layla, holding up her Lickilicky costume. "It's ugly."

"No, it's super pretty!" says Isabel. "I love it!"

"Well, I don't. Let me trade costumes with you, Isabel." says Layla angrily.

"No! I like mine. Heehee." says Isabel.

"All right. Weird girl. Gimme your costume." says Layla.

Delia stares at Layla creepily.

"Please?" says Layla.

Delia does nothing, then walks away.

"You need to try to be respectful to others. People like that when you respect them." says Charles.

"Shut up, Charles, I don't need your crap." says Layla.

Chris, who is dressed as Ash Ketchum, blows a horn.

"Hey, Ash McLean here, and the first battle is going to be between... Ari and Casey!"

"But, that's unfair. Bug-types are weak to fire types..." says Ari.

Tolkien stares at her.

"I mean, I was just assuming. Because, Fire burns stuff, and, yeah..." says Ari.

Ari says in the confessional, "I have to make sure Tolkien doesn't find out that I like this kind of stuff. Or else he'll never leave me alone. What to do..."

Roz says in the confessional, "Hehe. Ari and Tolkien. What a weird couple. Maybe I should boot Tolky so Ari can have some time with just me."

"All right, you two, wanna start the battle?" says Chris.

"No, not really..." says Ari.

"YEAH!" yells Casey enthusiastically.

"3... 2... 1... GO!" says Chris.

Ari just stands there. "Wait, who has higher speed?"

"Obviously me!" says Casey.

Ari says in the confessional, "Well, I knew that Infernape is one of the fastest Fire-types, and Ariados doesn't really do anything... I'm so pathetic."

Casey uses 'Flame Wheel', and she spins around, spraying ketchup from her pocket.

The ketchup hits Ari, and she sways to the side.

"Ariados has taken 20 damage!" says Chris. "She is in danger of fainting!"

"Wait, but I only took 20." says Ari dubiously.

"Yeah, but did I forget to mention that all the Puckemon are level 1?" asks Chris.

"Wait, that's impossible. Almost all of us are evolved forms, and Infernape learns Flame Wheel at level 21..." says Ari. "I mean, I'm just assuming."

"Wow, your babe sure does know a lot about Pogeymans, for someone who doesn't play it." says Julian from the sidelines.

"Hehe." says Tolkepi.

Casey sprays more ketchup at Ari.

"Uh, I'm gonna use... Spider Web." says Ari.

"You can't!" says Chris. "Ariados learns it at level 32! You can only use String Shot and Bug Bite!"

"That's so rigged!" yells Roz from the sidelines. "Why does Casey get to learn all that stuff?!"

"Hey, don't complain, chica." says Puck. "Casey's my teammate, so she can win."

"Aw, just shut up, you little runt." says Roz.

"I pride myself on being a little runt." says Puck.

"I'm really not sure how to respond to that." says Roz.

Casey then uses Blast Burn, and throws ketchup-filled balloons at Ari.

"This ketchup doesn't even look like fire!" says Ari, right before one hits her in the face and she keels over.

"Ariados has fainted! Infern-casey, you can move to the next round!" says Chris.

"Cool, I think." says Casey.

"Trainer Dharma is about to send out Nealdoran. Would you like to switch Pokemon?" says Chris.

"Uh, sure, bring in Tomterra." says Casey.

Casey leaves, and Thomas in his Torterra costume comes out.

"Let's rock this thing." says Thomas.

"GO!" yells Chris.

Thomas uses 'Razor Leaf' against Neal, which consists of sprinkling leaves over Neal's head.

"Oww, that hurt." says Neal.

"Grass is ineffective! The move does 0 damage!" says Chris.

"Suck on that, Tomterra!" says Neal. "I use Poison Sting!"

Neal takes out a needle, and pokes Thomas with it.

"Ow, that hurt! What was that for?" says Thomas.

"Hey, man, I want to win." says Neal.

Thomas gets woozy, and passes out.

"And, Nealdoran has won! Now, the score is 1-1-0, with the Fish Tails way behind. Will Shawnkachu be able to pull out a victory against the hulking Laylicky?"

Layla struts out in her big, bulbous costume.

"This is ruining my social status." says Layla.

Shawn comes out in a Pikachu costume.

"I guess this will be tolerable." says Shawn.

"GO!" yells Chris.

Layla uses 'Slam', and runs into Shawn at full force.

"Ow!" says Shawn. "My kiwis!"

"Shawnkachu has taken 40 damage!" says Chris. "He only has 0.9 HP left!"

"Can I use a Max Revive?" asks Shawn.

"Sorry, your pockets are empty!" says Chris.

"And that's not even possible, having 0.9 HP." says Shawn.

"GET ON WITH IT." yells Chef from the sidelines.

"Go, Shawn!" says Yuri loudly. "Impress your boyfriend!"

Julian glares at Yuri. "Ok, that's getting old."

Shawn uses Thunderbolt, hitting Laylicky with a foam thunderbolt.

"Ow." says Layla sarcastically.

"Laylicky's ability, 'Thick Fat' prevents damage from being done!" says Chris.

"Hey, but Lickilicky can't even have Thick Fat! And that's not what it does, that's Wonder Guard." says Tolkien loudly.

"You tell him, man!" yells Julian.

"Guys, quit your whining!" says Chris. "If I hear one more thing, I'll have to cut the challenge short."

Shawn gets all sweaty and faints.

"Shawnkachu has taken damage due to fatigue! He can no longer battle, so he's out!" says Chris.

Shawn makes a rude hand gesture to Chris.

"And since Laylicky has won, the score is 2-1-0! This last round will determine the winner!" says Chris.

"But, we're already winning." says Kai.

"Shhh, it's funny to see them march around in stupid costumes. LAST ROUND is Pucklup versus Rozrade!" says Chris.

"Remember, Grass is weak to Water!" says Ari.

Tolkien stares at Ari.

"I find it suspicious that you know all this stuff, and you say you've never played a Pogeyman game." says Tolkien.

"I have something to tell you..." says Ari.

Tolkien grins widely.

A foam thunderbolt hits Ari in the face.

"Never mind, it's nothing." says Ari.

Tolkien shakes his head sadly.

"Meh, man, it's a'ight." says Julian.

Chris looks at the battlefield. Puck is standing on top of a fainted Roz.

"What the crap just happened? He just kicked me in the boob!" says Roz. "Is that even a move?"

"No, but it attracts excited teenage viewers. So, the Dharmas win!" says Chris.

"Wait, I'm not on the Dharmas on anymore." says Puck.

"Yeah, but you guys win too, I guess. So, the Fish Tails have to go to elimination." says Chris.

"Dang it!" says Shawn.

"That was so screwy." says Yuri.

"I'll see you guys later, at elimination." says Chris.

Julian says in the confessional, "Yuri is annoying, so she gets my vote. Besides, her yaoi is creepy."

Shawn says in the confessional, "I vote Yuri."

Roz says in the confessional, "Shawn, dude, you weren't that great today."

Estrella is asleep in the confessional. She wakes up, and says. "Meh."

Tolkien is talking to Roz and Ari on the bed.

"So, guys, who are you voting?" asks Tolkien.

"We're thinking Shawn." says Roz. "You?"

"Aw, but Shawn's my friend. I might have to vote Yuri." says Tolkien.

"Yuri's creepy, that's for sure, but Shawn's a threat, plus, he screwed up in the challenge." says Roz.

"We all kinda did..." says Ari.

"That's not my point." says Roz.

"Darn it..." says Tolkien.

Chris is at the elimination ceremony.

"Tolkien, Julian, and Estrella, you three get sushi." says Chris.

Tolkien eats his sushi, and is looking nervous.

Julian tries to fist-bump Estrella.

"Nice try, dude." says Estrella. "Not in the mood."

"Hey, you just rhymed." says Julian.

"And you just lost the game." says Estrella.

"Dang it!" yells Julian.

"Aaaand... Roz." says Chris. He tosses Roz the sushi, and she catches it in her mouth.

"Yuri, Shawn, and Ari. One of you is safe tonight." says Chris dramatically.

"Wait, but there's three of us left." says Shawn.

"Did I mention the double elimination?" says Chris. Everyone gasps.

"Anyways, the final sushi goes to..."

"Yuri. Other two, see ya."

Yuri catches her sushi, and cheers.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what just happened?" asks Shawn. "I mean, I can understand why you booted me, but Ari? What did she do?"

Shawn gets into the Insert-Vehicle-Here, and waves to his team.

"I don't know. She's just, I don't know, there's something up with her." says Julian.

"All right, guys. I love Pogeyman. I'm closet obsessed with it. I also like Luncheons and Laggins..." says Ari.

"Whoa, me too!" says Tolkien.

"I know..." says Ari. "Anyways, I'll miss you, Roz."

Roz is bursting into tears. "Just... go... BWAAAAA!"

"Ari, I'll sure miss you. You were cool, and nice, and stuff... It will be weird without you." says Tolkien.

Ari climbs into the Insert-Vehicle-Here. "Aww, Tolkien, come here."

Ari gives Tolkien a little kiss on the cheek. Tolkien turns red and passes out.

"Wait, it's becoming canon?!" yells Yuri. "NOOOO!"

"See you, all." says Ari. She smiles, waves, and gets into the van. "One more thing, I'd like Tolkien to have this."

Ari reaches into her pocket and pulls out the Moss Giant card that Tolkien found earlier.

Tolkien gapes at the card. He blushes, and takes the card.

"I'll be sure to take good care of it." says Tolkien.

Ari gets into the van, and Shawn drives off with Ari.

"Who will win? Who will lose? Find out next time on... Total... Drama... Tokyo!"

Chapter 7 - Skit in my Pants
"Last time on Total Drama Tokyo, the contestants did some weird Pokemon-type LARP thing. I don't even really know how to describe it. Puck won for the Dh-- oh, wait, no, he didn't. I really don't remember who won, or what team, but the Fish Tails lost for the second time in a row, and what do you know, it was a double elimination! They decided to boot out Shawn, who did crappy in the challenge and was kind of boring, and for some reason, Ari. Poor old Tolkien, but at least he got the girl of his dreams! Well, kind of. She gave him a really rare trading card and kissed him for a split second. This recap is getting long, so let's see what happens next, on Total... Drama... Tokyo!"

The Fish Tails are in their dorm. Tolkien and Julian are playing video games.

"So, we're really the only guys left on this team?" asks Tolkien.

"Yeah, unless, you know, Yuri is hiding something else from us." says Julian.

"Man, I miss Ari," says Tolkien. "She was really nice and whatnot. And she, like, understood me or whatever."

"Maybe you could teach me your nerdy card game thingy. I might be good at it," says Julian.

"No thanks, I'm not in the mood. Besides, you're already crappy at this video game." says Tolkien.

Julian scoffs, then gets up and goes to his room. "I feel like takin' a nap. Later."

Tolkien says in the confessional, "Maybe I should just quit. Without Ari, I feel pretty empty. Sigh..."

Roz is lying in bed, slumped over. Julian walks in.

"Hey, I thought this was my room. What are you doing?" asks Julian.

"Imissarrrrrriiiiii." says Roz sadly.

"You know, just because one person is gone, doesn't mean this team has to turn into a depress-a-palooza. Let's pretend that, uh, Estrella is Ari. A'ight? It'll be just as good." says Julian.

Estrella walks in with a book. She sits down. Julian tosses her a can of hair dye and one of Ari's outfits. "Go crazy."

"What are you doing?" asks Estrella warily. "I'm not Ari, you know. Or, at least I hope you know."

"Be Ari. Just for today." says Roz.

"No," warns Estrella. "I'm not in the mood."

"Look, kiddo, do you wanna get eliminated and put in a bodybag?" says Roz angrily.

"All right, fine, but just for today. If I have to do it any more, I'll be super angry. Even more so than I already am. This is your warning." says Estrella, and she leaves.

"Wow, she didn't really seem that happy..." says Julian.

"YOU DON'T SAY," says Roz obnoxiously.

Yuri walks in. Her eyeliner is dripping, and she doesn't look very pleasant.

"Oh my god, what happened to you, Yuri?" asks Julian, shocked.

"Shawn is gawn." says Yuri. "What am I supposed to do now?!"

"Maybe you could try acting like a normal person," says a small voice.

Yuri looks around angrily. "Who said that?"

"C'est moi, mademoiselle." Estrella walks out, dressed as Ari. "You know, I should start being nice now."

"You really should," says Julian. "You know, you look hot dressed as Ari."

"Oh, go--" Estrella's inappropriate language is censored.

Tolkien walks in. "LOL, Estrella, is that you?"

"Yes, it is. Can I stop being Ari now?" she whines.

Roz gives Estrella a death glare and pulls out a knife.

"All righty then." says Estrella. "Hee-hee."

The Dharmas are in their dorm, as well.

Kai is sitting down on his bed. "So, guys, what is the opposite of down?"

"Brown?" guesses Isabel.

"Uh, I was actually just trying to say 'what's up' coolly. But that's all right, I guess." says Kai.

"All righty then." says Isabel. "Hee-hee!"

"Hey, Charles, I want an Oompa Loompa." says Layla.

"But, Layla, they are not real." says Charles.

"I don't care. Get me one, now." says Layla.

"What am I supposed to do?" asks Charles. "I cannot get you something that does not exist."

"5... 4... 3... 2..." begins Layla. Charles starts to sweat, then runs away.

"That's more like it. I freaking love Charles." says Layla.

"You know, you're kind of a jerk to him." says Neal.

"Kind of?" asks Kai skeptically.

"You guys tell me that every day, but I really don't care. He's a jerk to me. He never gets me the stuff that I want. And since I'm rich, and pretty, by default I deserve to get everything I want." says Layla snootily.

Kai rolls his eyes, takes out a pack of gum, and begins to chew it.

Delia is sitting in the corner, listening to screamo that can be heard extremely loudly, even though she is wearing headphones.

"Hey, creepy girl, want to turn that down?" asks Layla angrily.

Delia takes off her headphones, pauses the music, and stares at Layla intimidatingly. "Excuse me?"

"I said, kill the music. It's loud." says Layla angrily.

Delia looks at Layla, seething with rage. "Well, I want to listen to it. So, screw you."

Layla begins to laugh. "Did you just sass me?"

Delia just scoffs, and then returns to listening to her screamo.

Charles walks in, with Suzuki who is wearing a green wig.

"Hai, hai." says Suzuki.

"That is not an Oompa Loompa." yells Layla. "Charles, you annoy me so much!"

"I do not try to be annoying. I try my hardest to be a good citizen. But oh, well, if you think I am annoying, maybe that's something I should work on." says Charles.

"Well, duuuuuh." says Layla.

Delia says in the confessional, "Layla is a horrible person. Unless she wants to have fun burning in Hell, she better be nicer to me. Which may or may not happen."

The Tanukis are chilling out in their dorm.

"Whooo! It's a party, let's have some fun, guys!" says Puck. "Turn up th' music, Horatio!"

"What is he talking about?" asks Casey.

"I don't even know. I think he's asleep or something. Let's just humor him and let him sleep." says Vivienne.

"That Puck dude is kind of annoying." says Thomas.

"You know who's more annoying? That Thomas guy. I hate him." says Horatio.

"Hey!" says Thomas, offended.

"See, people don't like it when you make fun of them." says Horatio coolly.

"Asajieurcywjystrejtguherbtshacvhswrsndgryvt, djrrsgbrzgsdyvxrhtnsadhyvncn, mskoaritsjvnir." says Puck in his sleep.

"All right, now he's just speaking gibberish. Time to put the duct tape over his mouth." says Casey.

Thomas takes out a roll of duct tape and puts it onto Puck's mouth. He falls asleep silently.

"Hey, where could Flora be?" asks Horatio.

Flora is right next to Horatio.

Flora says in the confessional, "All right, I'm sick of being ignored. Seriously, what's so boring about me? I'm just like Vivienne! Except she has some personality..." Flora bursts into tears.

Puck then gets out of bed and makes a gasping sound.

"What's he doing now?" asks Thomas.

Puck then picks up Casey and throws her at Thomas. Casey screams.

"What the crap, Puck?!" yells Casey.

"Ow, my neck!" says Thomas.

"Dajcwbsjvtthvhyrdtn." says Puck.

Horatio stands up and gets close to Puck. "I may be a pacifist, but I have no choice." He then slaps Puck in the face.

Puck wakes up. "What the puck just happened?" he asks woozily.

"Were you drunk on ice cubes again?" asks Thomas.

A flashback is shown to the night before. Everyone is asleep. Puck runs downstairs and shoves a whole tray full of ice cubes into his mouth, and eats them. He then puts some more into a blender, and eats them too. He gets all woozy and passes out.

"No." says Puck.

"Okay. Whatever you say. I guess I should believe everything you say." says Casey.

"Is it just me, or is this chapter extremely weird, confusing and hard to follow?" asks Thomas.

"Maybe when Chris comes in and explains the challenge, it will be better." says Vivienne.

Chris comes in. Everyone looks at him, he points to the door, and they all follow him outside.

"Well, hey campers, did you guys have a good sleep? Not that I care. Ha. Anyways, today's challenge should be pretty familiar, it was used in TDWT! And no, it wasn't human pinball, it's the Chef's Total Drama Yum Happy Go Time Candied Fish Tails challenge... of celebration fun." says Chris.

"That was my favorite challenge ever! I love fish tails!" says Puck.

"Who doesn't? Anyways, you guys probably know what to do, all you have to do is prepare a skit advertising the fish tails. So, it's basically Take a Skit from TDRev, except you have to have something referencing the fish tails." says Chris. "You guys can also pick a contestant from past seasons to help you guys with the skits. Now, disband!"

"Ooh, guys, let's choose Dolph. That guy was epic. And I'm sure he knows all about skits." says Thomas.

"Did somebody say Dolph?" says a British voice. Bubbly Japanese pop music begins to play as Dolph swoops down on his Nyan Cat, this time he has extremely long hair and no hat on.

"Whoa, Dolph, you're here. Wanna think of an idea for our skit?" asks Thomas.

"I'm sure we can think of it by ourselves if we put our minds to it." says Horatio calmly.

"No, we can't," says Casey angrily. "Let this weirdo do it for us."

"First of all, I don't really like being called a 'weirdo', even though I am one. Second of all, I have an idea for you all. Who's ever heard that one cover of that Gotye song by Run On The Moon? Where five people are playing one guitar? That very much captured my imagination, and I would like to do it with you all." says Dolph.

"Well, I don't really know how to play a guitar, and I'm good at lighting and stuff, so could I do that? I can make my own smoke bombs." says Vivienne.

"I'll do the camera." says Flora disappointedly.

"Ooooh. Who's gonna be Beard Guy?" says Dolph.

Everyone looks at Puck. Puck shrugs. "I don't even know what this video is, but it sounds chill."

Dolph hands Puck a black beanie and a blatantly fake black beard. "Here you are, mate. Put on the beard."

Puck puts on the beard, beanie, and a black shirt. "Also, I don't know how to play the guitar. Except for, like, a clinky noise."

"You were meant to be Beard Guy." says Thomas.

"I really don't even know what you guys are talking about, but a'ight." says Puck.

"I'll be the second guy, the one next to Puck, who sings most of it." says Thomas.

"I shall be the one in the middle who hits all of the high notes," says Dolph.

"I'll be the girl," says Casey. "I can kinda sing, I guess."

"And I guess I'll be the drummin' guy on the left," says Horatio.

The camera zooms to the Fish Tails, who are thinking about their play idea.

"Maybe we should do a take-off of TD:ROTI. That would be pretty fun." says Tolkien.

"No, it wouldn't," says Julian.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help!!" says Tolkien angrily.

"By the way, where's Estrella?" asks Julian.

Estrella is talking to Delia. "All right, chick, you get your team to do a skit with us, and we'll go easy on you during the merge."

Delia pushes Estrella away, angrily.

Estrella returns. "I was using the restroom. DO NOT question me."

"Okie-dokie. So, TDROTI take-off it is?" asks Tolkien.

"Sure," says Estrella. "Where are Roz and Yuri? And who will be who?"

Roz and Yuri come out dressed as Zoey and Dawn respectively.

"Greetings, citizens of the universe," says Yuri, in a voice 1000000 times higher than her normal (already high) voice.

"I'm boring and have no personality!" says Roz. "Like Flora times a billion!"

A voice from the other set says "Hey!"

Julian comes out with different clothes, a hat on, and many, many pillows in his shirt.

"Why couldn't you be someone closer to your weight, like Cameron or something?" inquires Estrella.

"..." says Julian.

"He's trying to get into his personality." says Tolkien, with a blue shirt and hair slicked upwards.

"You, too. You look nothing like Mike. Sam could work more, you just have to put some of those pillows in your shirt." says Roz. "I wonder who Estrella's gonna be?"

"Speaking of which, where's that air pump we were gonna use for the hot air balloon?" asks Tolkien.

"Meh, we probably lost it," says Roz. "I actually didn't do anything this time."

A gigantic round thing comes out wearing pink. It looks like Estrella, but with inflated clothes that are so large they are shaped like a beach ball. She waddles to the others.

"Yah," she says.

"..." says Julian.

"I'm sorry, but I just lost all respect for you. And I used to be scared of you, but not anymore." says Tolkien.

"My great great uncle Kirby invented the words 'shut up', ever heard of them?" asks Estrella.

"All right, guys, let's rehearse. How do we start?" asks Tolkien.

"Dawn says that fish tails are good for the bones." says Roz. "Then, Staci says that fish tails are her uncle Henry's favorite snack. And Mike and Zoey kiss for some reason. Ready?"

"Wait, so I have to kiss you...?" asks Tolkien.

"Yes." says Roz.

Tolkien says in the confessional while hyperventilating, "EEEEH! Sorry... Ari... Ugh, what am I supposed to do? Roz is soooo hot, but Ari is... Eeeeh." He turns white, and passes out.

"..." says Julian.

"I can read his aura, and he is sweating his butt off in his costume," says Yuri in her obnoxious high voice.

"Well, so am I, and do any of you care? NO." says the beach ball Estrella thing.

The Dharmas are not doing very well.

"Do you think Chris will notice if we don't have a skit?" asks Neal. He glances around the room.

"Ugh, you guys are so stupid!" yells Layla to Charles and Isabel. There is an empty bag of Fish Tails next to Charles.

"Abracanoodles." says Kai, and he turns a microwave into a Cold Pocket.

Delia is sitting there, planning someone's death.

"Charles, you really ATE the Fish Tails?" yells Neal, walking up to him.

"Yes, I was feeling peckish. My stummick was havin' the rumblies that only some yummy ol' Fish Tails could satisfy." says Charles.

"Hmm, okay, let's just not have a skit. See how pissed Chris gets." says Neal.

"The only person who's getting pissed right now is you... Calm down." says Kai.

"I don't want to calm down, all right?" asks Neal. "I'm angry."

"Hush." says Delia.

"All right, then. We need a skit." says Neal.

"What I really need right now is some chicken. CHARLES!" says Layla.

Charles is playing with a balloon animal.

"Eh?" he asks.

"Go to Mickey D's and get me some chicken, pweese?" asks Layla.

"Sure, fine, whatever," says Charles. He takes Dolph's Nyan Cat and leaves.

"Wait, a sec. I remembered that we can have a canon character to help us! Maybe that will work. Who do you guys think should do it?" asks Kai.

"Probably someone who's good with skits, I guess," says Neal.

"So, that would be Oc--" says Layla.

"Arthur." says Isabel.

"HEY, HEY, HEY." yells a voice, breaking through the wall due to his girth.

"Isabel, you idiot. Why would you summon Arthur?" yells Layla.

"Heehee. 'Cause he's funny. I like how fat he is." says Isabel.

Arthur shakes his moobs. "I am not fat. I am morbidly obeeeese. So, what did you need me for?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all." says Neal.

"Well then, why did you summon me?" asks Arthur. "Are you saying that I wasted twenty minutes of my life coming here?"

"Yeah, basically," says Delia.

"A'ight. I'm out," he says, and he leaves.

"Wait, we can use you fo--" says Kai.

Arthur makes a rude hand gesture and walks out of the hole that he broke in the wall.

"Great, thanks a lot, Delia," says Layla.

"You just ruined our entire thing." says Neal.

Delia stares at everyone creepily.

"All right, let's blame it on someone else..." says Kai.

They all see a random intern walk by.

"That intern!" says Layla.

"That intern is so stupid. I hate him," says Neal.

The intern looks at them, then begins to bawl.

"Aww, poor intern-y!" says Isabel.

She runs over to the intern and pats his head.

"My life is already like a piece of crap," he says.

"Uhhhh..." Everyone backs away from the intern.

"Go on. Leave me alone. Let me bask in this sorrow," he says melancholy.

"I know a good psychiatrist..." says Layla.

"All right, man, I'll be sure to go there." says the intern.

He winks, then hops away gleefully.

"What just happened?" asks Kai.

"All right, we're completely screwed, Arthur left us, and we have no skit." says Neal.

"Cool story, bro," says Layla. "Don't be a jerk."

"Remember when Team Amazon didn't have anything, then they came from behind and won? That may happen." says Kai.

Layla makes a loud scoffing noise. "Pshaw."

Charles walks back with a bag of chicken.

"Here is the chicken you wanted so badly." says Charles.

"Ohh, I'm not hungry anymore. You're so incompetent!" yells Layla.

Charles curls up into a ball and rolls around on the floor.

"Heeey, daddy-o's, what's chillin' with the fillin'? Are all you cool cats and hipsters having a chill old time, diggity-dig?" says Puck.

"Puck, you're not cool. You never will be cool. Don't try to act cool." says Casey.

"You know you secretly have a crush on me, lady-love." says Puck.

"You're right. Come here, you." says Casey.

Casey violently kisses Puck.

"I wish I was her..." says Vivienne.

"Eww, you like Puck?" asks Thomas.

"No, I just wanna kiss a guy..." says Vivienne.

"Well, you could, uh, maybe try to kiss me..." says Thomas.

"Eww, no." says Vivienne.

"Poor li'l Small Boy Thomas. Always so small." says Horatio.

"Dude, I'm taller than you," says Thomas.

"I like cookies," says Flora. "Do you?"

"Yeah," says Thomas. "Why?"

"I brought some. I made them at home," she says gleefully.

Flora takes out a tray of cookies. "Voila."

Puck stops kissing Casey.

"Heehee, your beard is tickly," says Casey.

Puck takes one look at the cookies, then violently scarfs them down.

"Uh, all righty, then." says Flora.

"Puck, you sick, twisted lad." says Thomas angrily.

"All right, time for the challenge!" says Chris.

The contestants walk to the amphitheater.

The Fish Tails walk onto stage.

"Our commercial is called, 'TDROTI-a-palooza.'" says Tolkien. "Enjoy."

Yuri comes out, as Dawn. "Fish tails are great for the bones, and wild animals love them."

"Yah, my great great uncle Henry invented them," says Estrella.

Tolkien, as Mike, looks at Roz, as Zoey.

"Fish tails also... uh, promote romance..." says Tolkien.

Roz passionately kisses Tolkien.

Tolkien breaks free, holds up a bag of fish tails, gives a thumbs up, and faints.

"All righty then. Next up, the Tanukis." says Chris.

The Tanukis emerge, with their guitar.

Puck makes a clinky noise. Casey, Thomas, and Dolph begin to play, while Horatio starts to drum on the guitar.

"Now and then I think of when we were together..." sings Thomas. "And when you said you were so happy you could die... Told myself you were right for me, but felt so lonely in your company... But that was love and it's an ache I still remember..."

Puck makes the clinky noise.

"You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness... Like resignation to the end, always the end... So when we found out we could not make sense, well, you said that we would still be friends..."

"BUT I'LL ADMIT THAT I WAS GLAD... THAT IT WAS OVAAAAAH...." sings Puck obnoxiously and out of turn.

Everyone stares at Puck angrily.

"Puck, you weren't supposed to sing, Beard Guy doesn't sing!" whispers Casey.

"Oh, sorry," says Puck. "Guess I just ruined it. Hehe."

"But you didn't have to ruin the song," sings Dolph, ad-libbing. "Completely screw up every single thing that we all worked on. Don't even need you on the team... Cause you're just a little idiot, and you act so tough... No you didn't have to stooooop so low... Once you go to elimination you will not come baa-aaack... I'm guessing that you're sorry, though... But you're still somebody that I used to know."

"Wow, I'm impressed that you made that up from scratch, even if it is bashing moi," says Puck.

"All righty. That's our skit," says Horatio.

Layla walks up to the stage.

"Our team doesn't have a skit, thanks to freaking Delia," she says.

"It was not my fault," says Delia.

"Whatever. Loser," says Layla.

"Do not be so mean, Layla. Delia is not a loser, in fact, she is much nicer than you are." states Charles.

"Shut up, Charles, no one likes you." says Layla angrily.

"Actually, we do have a skit," says Kai, who busts out in a glittery pink suit.

"Eww, what the..." says Layla.

"Hee-hee! You look so cute, Kai!" says Isabel.

"Why, thank you! Now let's get this show started!" says Kai.

Funky 80's music begins to play.

"Mts, mts, mts, mts, mts," says Kai, making syncopation noises with his mouth. "Total... Drama... Yum Yum... Happy Go Time... Candied... Fish Taiiiiiils. Yeeeeeah."

He says all this while breakdancing violently.

He then takes out his magic wand and creates fireworks.

"Whoooo." he says.

"All right, time to judge," says Chris. "Fish Tails, you guys were ehh. You're in non-winning, non-elimination purgatory. Your skit sucked, but all right, whatever. Dharmas, or Kai, that was really... Not even going to talk about it. So, I guess the Tanukis win. Dharmas, time to go to elimination."

"So, who to vote out, everyone?" asks Kai.

"No idea." says Neal.

"I have an idea," says Delia quietly.

The team looks at Layla, who is sitting there eating Charles' lettuce.

"Hey, that is my lettuce." says Charles.

"GET YOUR OWN," says Layla.

"But that is... Gosh. You know what, never mind..." says Charles.

The Fish Tails are chilling out in their dorm.

"Hehe, wanna read my new FF? It's super-inappropriate. It's my favorite one yet." says Yuri.

"I'm not sure if we want to..." says Tolkien.

"You totally do! It's about my new OC, Hayden, who meets my other new OC, Dennis, at a strip club. They have lots of sexual escapades. Heh." says Yuri.

"My day just got 50 times worse. Thanks, Yuri." says Estrella dryly. "And it already sucked to begin with."

"Ugh, Estrella, wanna at least appreciate me? Also, stop taking Julian for yourself. We all know he belongs with Shawn." says Yuri.

"First of all, I don't like Julian. Second of all, he doesn't like Shawn." says Estrella.

"How do you know?!" yells Yuri.

"Julian. Is. Straight." says Estrella.

"He may be closeted!" says Yuri angrily.

Julian looks up from his nachos that he is eating. "Ehh?" he says with food stuffed in his mouth.

The Dharmas are at the elimination ceremony with Chris.

"All righty, Dharmas, your second loss... Remember Wolfgang? Maybe you shouldn't have booted him, he could have brought good luck. Anyways, first sushi goes to Kai..."

Kai catches his sushi happily.

"Isabel, you're safe too. So is Delia." says Chris.

The two girls get their sushi. Delia glares at Layla. Isabel attempts to as well, but fails.

"Layla and Neal. The final sushi goes to..."

"Both of you. Here you go, sushi for everyone tonight." says Chris.

"What?!" says everyone.

"But, we all voted Layla." says Delia softly. Isabel nods in agreement with Delia, then quickly realizes what she's done, and gasps.

"Well, that's good to know for next time, isn't it?" grins Layla evilly.

"Sure, I guess. But anyways, why is there no elimination?" asks Kai.

"Well, the producers found Yuri's stack of erotic fanfictions... And they said that that kind of stuff 'doesn't belong a kids' show', whatever that means. So, yeah. Yuri's out of the game." says Chris.

Julian rushes up to Chris. "Did you just say what I think you said?!" Chris nods. Julian whoops for joy and begins to dance around like an idiot.

Two big, burly men who are assumed to be the producers are seen dragging Yuri to the Insert-Vehicle-Here of Losers.

"NO! This is a mistake! Nobody likes my yaoi fanfiction yet! You can't eliminate me! Without me, this show is CRAP!" yells Yuri.

One of the producers grunts, and puts duct tape over Yuri's mouth. She screams, and they throw her into the Insert-Vehicle-Here, then it drives away.

A sound of tape ripping is heard. Yuri yells, "JULAWN FOR THE WINNNN!" but is drowned out by a taxi.

Elimination Table

 * 1 = Kai went to the Dharmas, and Puck and Casey went to the Tanukis.
 * 2 = Yuri was eliminated because her erotic fanfictions were deemed inappropriate by the producers, even though her team won the challenge. Layla or Neal would have been eliminated otherwise.

Fans Vs. Faves

 * This was originally a story with twenty characters. I realized I didn't like some of the characters, so here I am now.
 * Ari, Casey, Roz, Thomas and Tolkien are all somehow based on people I know.
 * Neal, Puck, Shawn, Vivienne, and Wolfgang are all based on people or characters in media, like TV shows and video games.
 * Bart, Bess, Christina, Keenan, Milo, Oz, Quincy, Valencia, and Yasmin were all taken out of this story. They all are going to different stories now.

Original Version
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
 * I was originally going to do an all star story after Total Drama Revolution. However, I thought of some good ideas and a setting.
 * Tokyo was originally the setting of Total Drama Revolution.
 * Estrella's intro reminded me a lot of Helga's whole character. I try to make them differ somewhat.
 * I realized Anderson's pants looked feminine, so I decided to make them female pants.
 * Layla A. Knee is an obvious reference to Lalainee.
 * Orange Crushment and Mountain Fizz are parodies of Orange Crush and Mountain Dew. uPod is a parody of iPod. Woman GooGoo and Bruno Jupiter are parodies of Lady GaGa and Bruno Mars.
 * Luncheons and Laggins is a parody of Dungeons and Dragons. Majyk: The Meeting is a parody of Magic: The Gathering.
 * Shawn's full name is a reference to singer Akon's real name.
 * "TNWPJS" means That's Not What PJ Said, a way for people to say "..." without being told "PJ".
 * Kavren and Dolph cameo.
 * Layla's many cousins are mostly references to other media and fanfictions, plus stereotypical "rich kid" names. See if you can find the references.
 * 'That Twinklefog Chick' is Holly.
 * Shawn's girlfriend on another show is Linda from Total Drama Danger.
 * The strange French music that plays is "Elle me dit" by Mika.
 * Monty Cobra is a reference to Monty Python. The song, 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' is from Monty Python.
 * Yasmin was eliminated for plot reasons, and I found her annoying to write for. Plus, I had another contestant who said "like" addictively.