S.S. Total Drama

S.S. Total Drama takes place several seasons after Revenge of the Island. Chris is till the host, and the long-running show has a new installment, where twenty contestants will face challenges in a cruise ship, competing for one million dollars.



Written by Manatee12

Contestants
Anamaria - The Crazy Subway Lady: Anamaria's age, as well as many other things about her, is a mystery, although she claims to be 22. Citizens of Ohio have many stories about meeting this lady in the state's subway stations, wearing rags and worn out shirts designed for teenage girls. According to them, Anamaria asks the city dwellers if they have chicken, and after getting a negative answer she rants about what might happen with today's chickenless youth. A Total Drama producer found Anamaria in a subway station asking strangers if they had chicken, and found her interesting enough to be a contestant.

Antonio - The Unintentional Eye Candy:Antonio has recently graduated and works as a teacher in a high school. He was never handsome at all, he is average-looking body wise, and has a unibrow and a gap in his teeth. Still, the majority of his female students see Antonio as the most beautiful man in the Earth, making the male students incredibly jealous. Besides having some stalkers, Antonio receives gifts more often than any teacher in the school he works, and has love letters handed to him weekly. The attention he gets doesn't come only from his students, some teachers and a lunch lady are also attracted to Antonio and have unsuccessfully tried to flirt with him. Despite all efforts from his admirers, Antonio is engaged with an Argentinian woman, who have already received some death threats from the most unstable students, and that one lunch lady. Antonio joined Total Drama to win the money for him and his fiancée.

Carlos - The Media Hog: Carlos comes from a financially-struggling family, and have worked on a farm since he was a child. But Carlos' life changed when he joined Outlaster, a famous reality show on television, he didn't make it too far but his popularity was immense, so immense he returned three times, only to finally win on his fourth try. Carlos also appeared in Phobia Factor three times, and competed twice in The Astounding Race with his wife, another winner of Outlaster, who he met during his second time competing on the show, and whose wedding ceremony in Cancun was broadcasted worldwide. Carlos was asked to participate in Total Drama because the producers think his presence will raise the number of viewers.

NOTE: Although Carlos' background is a drect reference to Rob Mariano, the character itself isn't based on him. In fact, the author has never watched Rob on Survivor.

Cillian - The Deceiving Troublemaker:Cillian acts as innocent as possible around people, waiting for the moment when everybody turn their back only for him to start performing his shenanigans. Cillian always gets away with his acts of vandalism and juvenile delinquency using his innocent baby face and bright blue eyes. Cillian causes all that trouble just for his own entertainment, and in the majority of the time, he doesn't have any intention behind them. Cillian joined Total Drama because he thinks he will be a good deceiver in the strategic game.

Cleo - The Comic Book Store Clerk: Cleo has a job many geeks would like to have, she works in one of those stores which sells mangas, trading card games and other japanese pop-culture items. Cleo is a big fan of many of these stuff, and enjoys each minute at her job. Every saturday, many pre teens, and even some adults, come to said store for TCG tournaments. Cleo loves to interact with these people, she treats the pre-teens like little brothers, and the adults as her Role Playing buddies. Some of those pre-teens have crushes on Cleo, but she was never creeped out by any of them as she probably never knew about it. Cleo joined Total Drama because she is secretly a fan of the series... Well, not so secretly anymore.

Dominic - The Uber Nerd: Dominic, was always a smart guy, but never very active. When Dominic got his first computer it became his addiction, and up to this days he is still addicted to his computers. Dominic spends his entire day on the computer, visiting forums and playing MMORPGs with his friends. He became so addicted to his computers to the point where he eats in front of it, and does not shower regularly anymore. He also sacrificed his grades and some hours of sleep just so he can have more time in the computer. Dominic is also desperate for a girlfriend, despite having an on-and-off "relationship" with a White Magician who supposedly lives in Russia, who he swears it's not a forty-year-old man. Dominic joined Total Drama to find a girlfriend, and win a million dollars.

Foreman - The Intimidating Guy: Since he was a teenager, Foreman's biggest dream was being a detective. He was already in top physical shape, and studied very hard to accomplish his goals, mostly focusing on physics. Weeks prior to his test to become a detective, Foreman fell off the stairs of his apartment and had a serious injury on his left leg. He was hospitalized and ultimately had to put a pin in his leg. He was never able to take the physical test, thus, prevented to ever become a detective. After leaving the hospital, Foreman became a sedentary person and and put on lots of wheight, but kept his upper body strength. Foreman's only hope now was to teach physics in a high school, his appearance, combined with very low voice and always serious mood were so intimidating that scared some students away. When Foreman got tired of being feared by his students, he decided to teach in a university, where he still works as a professor. Foreman joined Total Drama to prove one doesn't need top physical shape to win a reality show.

Halle - The Overconfident Girl: Unlike normal girly girls, Halle has always been a fan of robots, trucks, and trucks that transform into robots. At the age of ten, Halle was the captain of the female junior football league at her school, and was also viewed as the prettiest of them all. As Halle grew up, her excellence in sports, combined with her glaring good looks made her a very confident girl, bearing the egomania. Halle currently has a boyfriend at home, so that means no relationships for her. Halle joined Total Drama because she thinks she has it all to win it.

Inna - The Exercise Enthusiast: Inna in health nut, she exercises every day and has very strict eating habits. Inna is currently an exercise instructor at a gym, and she loves her work since she can burn calories, ineract with people, and earn money at the same time. Inna volunteers in programs to help fight children obesity, but those programs don't get much attention, and none of them is succesful at all. Inna joined Total Drama to advertise her non-profit programs about children obesity, and take a chance at winning one million dollars.

Lana - The Overly Self-conscious Girl: Lana is a complete outcast. At school, she doesn't have friends at all, and at home she spends most of her time listening to underground music and reading mystery novels. Her best, and only friend, is her mother. Lana has an inferiority complex, and sometimes sees herself as the ugliest person ever, constantly saying she is fat even though she isn't overweight since ninth grade. Lana is also an envious person, every time she sees someone succesfull at something and bragging about it, she goes into a depression wishing to be that person, and comparing herself to them in everything they do. Lana joined Total Drama because she wants a million dollars so she doesn't feel worse than a rich girl in her school.

Lance - The Former Nerd: Lance has always been a smart boy, but he used his smarts to get good grades. Initially Lance had nerdy interests and was always in the honor hall of his school, until he befriended the popular students. After finding new friendships, Lance started going to parties frequently, changed his attitude to a rude one, and has had many girlfriends until he realized girls weren't his thing. During his party animal days Lance started getting worse grades, and now that he is finally in his senior year he regained all his former dedicated student behavior, except for his nerdy interests. Lance now ranges from the dedicated student to the brutally honest party animal, and can achieve the good grades he once got in his early school years while going to parties every weekend. Lance joined Total Drama for the money, so he finally can leave the suburbs.

Lizzie - The Hysterical Former Pageant Queen: Lizzie once competed in beauty pageant contests, and won many titles, and even became famous in her town for it. Nowadays Lizzie works by baking oatmeal muffins with her cousins for a retirement home. She and her cousins haven't lost their young lady free spirit, and are always cheerful and living life to its fullest. A problem with Lizzie is that she is hysterical, and shows an unnecessary enthusiasm in some situations of life. This can be good for some, but not for the people around Lizzie, as they tend to get fed up with her screaming after spending too much time with her. Lizzie joined Total Drama to relieve the days of her youth as a fierce competitor, only in a different area.

Louie - The Bullied Guy: Louie was always the laughing stock of his school, firts because of his chubby frame, and now because of his goofy and overall annoying personality. He is a very naïve boy, making him an easy target for bullies. Louie tries to be the most polite possible, but ends up invading people's personal space and being very inconvenient. During classes, Louie is constantly bullied for asking the teacher irrelevant questions, or questions which have an obvious answer. Louie also tries very hard to get good grades, but rarely acomplishes that goal due to his not so smart nature. Louie joined Total Drama to prove to the people who bully him, that he can be successful at something.

Mallory - The Pretty Girl: Mallory was born a very pretty baby, who grew up into a very pretty toddler. In elementary school, Mallory was a very pretty child, and in high school, a very pretty teenager. That is about everything regarding to her. Mallory is not the most intelligent person, but is nowhere near dumb, as she is capable of keeping only As and Bs on her grade. One would say averagely intelligent. Despite being incredibly bland, Mallory has numerous admirers due to the beauty she had since she was born. Mallory joined Total Drama to win the money and prove that she is more than a pretty face.

Mathew - The Rude Guy: In elementary school, Mathew was the most feared of the bullies, idolized by some, and a true nightmare to the outcasts. As Mathew grew up, he noticed the media was portraying the bullies as losers and unintelligent villains, and found another way to be idolized by people. Mathew now acts cool, breaking rules while keeping good grades just to rub in his teachers' faces that he can be intelligent while breaking te rules. In addition this behavior, Mathew acts very rude just to be seen as 'badass', and he is successful at that. Matthew joined Total Drama just to win it.

Meredith - The Goofball: Meredith has a tendency to be easily distracted by silly things, and is not the brightest bulb out there. Once, Meredith was playing with her cats but went outside to see a parade that was taking place on her street. Meredith stayed there for twenty minutes, and only when she got back home, she noticed one of her cats was in her head all this time. One of her biggest frustrations is learning how to drive. Meredith has had many classes with her father, but still haven't mastered that skill, she never gives up, though. Meredith joined Total Drama to have an experience in a cruise ship and possibly win a million dollars.

Patricia - The Reality TV Fan: Patricia became fascineted by competition reality shows since she watched the first season of The Astounding Race. She watched the show religiously with her mother, who was also a big fan of the series. Some time later, Patricia discovered the reality shows that involved strategical gameplay and eliminations by vote, and delved into internet blogs and other communities dedicated to every kind of competition reality show. She still watches them with her mother. Patricia is very close to her mother and her home, and her mother is very supportive of her, even when Patricia came out to her as bisexual. What her mother doesn't approve is Patricia's pessimism. Patricia discovered Total Drama, and became a fan of it mainly because it was the only reality show that, in her opinion, hasn't 'jumped the shark' by returning the same specific player over and over, or recruiting a celebrity to its cast to boost ratings. Patricia joined Total Drama, because her dream is to compete in a reality show.

Ryan - The Bleeding Heart: Ryan is athletic, calm, and naturally intelligent. He is not perfect, though, and his biggest flaw is that he is a bleeding heart. Ryan cares so much for other people that ends up forgetting about himself, and he already lost many opportunities in his life thanks to that. However, Ryan is perfectly comfortable in being who he is, and don't regret any altruistic act he has ever done. Ryan joined Total Drama to prove someone can win without being selfish.

Terry - The Amateur Writer: Terry is not a very popular girl, she was never recognized as a cool girl or anything else of the sort, and never had many friends. In eleventh grade, Terry won an award of outstanding writer in her school and received some attention from it. That attention, however was mainly from literature geeks, who became Terry's friends until her school years were over. Terry has now graduated from college, but doesn't have a job yet. She is an amateur mystery novel writer, having written seven unreleased books. Terry joined Total Drama to be recognized and have a good time.

Xavier - The Box Worshipper: Xavier grew up in a very unstable family, he is the son of a very young mother, and his father is unknown due to the many relationships his mother pursued back then (some believe she still pursues). Due to her young age and careless nature, Xavier's mother always left her son alone at home so she has time do things that interest her. As Xavier grew up, his mother engaged him in all extracurricular activities possible, swimming classes, German course, camping, and even a ballet class. During one of Xavier's camping trips, he went missing and was just found in the last day inside a cave with only a black and golden box. Today, Xavier believes his only hope in life is that box, he talks to it, asks questions to it, and worships it in every way possible. Some believe Xavier loves that box more than he loves his mother, but no one knows exactly what are the contents of this mysterious box. Xavier joined Total Drama because his box told him to.

Chapter 1 - Docks of Fame
Chris is just like he is in every beggining of a new season, standing near the setting where the adventure will take place. This time, Chris McLean is standing in a pier, where a luxurious ship is docked. The host, who is is smiling brightly as always, says to the camera, "Remember me? Chris McLean? Well, if you don't, I suggest you turn off the TV now!" He thinks for a second and yells, "No, no, no, no! Stay there, I will introduce myself to you," Chris clears his throat, "I am Chris McLean, and I am famous for hosting eight seasons of Total Drama. I am also the star of the acclaimed Badminton: The Movie," he smiles confidently, "I'm sure you know me now. I mean, who hasn't watched Badminton: The Movie?" Someone coughing is heard off-camera, "Anyway, we are here for a new season of Total Drama, where twenty contestants will compete for the million dollar prize in Total Drama's exclesive cruise ship. The contestants will arrive at the docks by hired cars, and will soon embark in our cruise ship. Of course, they will introduce themselves first," a car is seen arriving.

"Here is our first contestant, and it is Cleo!" announces Chris.

The car stops, and an Asian young man with long black hair and glasses steps out of it, "Hello Chris," he says smiling.

"Wait a minute," say Chris looking at the man, "I have this feeling you are not Cleo."

The long-haired man shakes his head, "No, I'm Ryan, nice to meet you," he says before shaking Chris' hands, "Want some help with the cue cards?" he asks.

"No, I'm perfectly fine!" says Chris, "And here comes Carlos!" he announces while pointing to a pretty blonde who getting out of a car. She wears a yellow jacket over a pink shirt, and jeans.

Ryan takes the cue cards from Chris' hands and puts them in another order, "Here it is," He gives the cue cards back to Chris, with a smile on his face.

The recently arrived girl gets near them and says, "I'm most definitely not Carlos."

Chris reads the now properly arranged cue cards and says, "Of course you aren't. You are Mallory, right?"

The girl smiles and nods.

Ryan says in the confessional, "I've just arrived and already helped Chris. I hope he is thankful for that and will not try to kill me in his challenges."

Mallory is shown in the confessional, "Carlos? Really, Chris?"

Another car arrives, and a tall young man with some piercings and a faux-hawk steps out of it.

"Here we have Mathew!" announces Chris, "Hopefully it's him," he adds.

Mathew walks to Chris, shakes his hand, and joins the other competitors. Once there he spits on the ground, causing Ryan to slowly step away from him.

Another car arrives and a girl with brown hair, wearing a blue jacket and a pink bandana around her head steps out.

"Welcome to Total Drama, Meredith!" says Chris, while Meredith looks at the car that brought her leaving the spot.

Meredith looks at Chris, blinks once and says, "Sorry, were you talking to me?"

"Umm, yeah," says Chris, "I said welcome to Total Drama, Meredith!"

Meredith smiles and says, "Ooh, why didn't you say before? My name is Meredith, nice to meet you. Your name is..." she waits for an answer.

Chris looks angry, "I already know your name, and how don't you know my name?"

Meredith smiles as she realizes something, "Oh, right, you are the host. Jeff, right?" Chris stares at her, and she quickly corrects herself, "Chris! Chris McLean!" Meredith says as she smiles wide, proud of herself.

"Thank you, now you can join your fellow competitors over there," Chris says, pointing to where the other contestants are

Meredith joins the other contestants and says to Mathew, "Can you believe I almost forgot Phil's name?" Mathew laughs at Meredith but she just stares at him clueless.

A short boy with platinum blond hair and bright blue eyes steps out of a newly arrived car.

"Cillian!" says Chris.

"Sup?" asks the boy.

"I'm hosting a show called S.S. Total Drama," says Chris, "Ever heard of it?"

Cillian laughs at Chris' not so funny joke and says, "Good one," he joins the others.

The next car arrives, dropping a skinny and pale girl wearing a mostly black outfit. Her with pitch black hair covers some of her face. She slouches past Chris and says lifelessly, "Hi everyone, I'm Lana."

Chris answers with a shudder.

Lana is shown on the confessional, "That wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be... I think I did well."

The next car arrives. A young man with black spiky hair, wearing a plaid patially unbuttoned red shirt, skinny jeans and colorful sneakers steps out of it.

"Welcome, Lance!" says Chris, "Try not to make me blind with those sneakers," he grins.

"Thank you, Chris," says Lance with a smirk, "And I see you still haven't changed that worn out shirt since last decade."

Chris looks angry while Mathew gives Lance thumbs up.

Mathew appears in the confessional, "That Lance guy had the guts to be snarky with Chris, I already like him," he chuckles.

A beautiful girl with short brown hair, wearing a grey shirt and khaki pants steps out of a newly arrived car.

Her first word upon arriving is quite surprising to the present contestants, "Yo!" she says to everyone.

"Yo, Halle!" says Chris before shaking her hand.

Lance scoffs, "Ugh! Nobody says 'yo' anymore!"

Halle looks at Lance, keeping a serene look on her face, "Excuse me, I say 'yo', and that's enough people for it to be considered cool."

Mathew gives Lance a thumbs down, and the black haired boy playfully pushes him.

Lance is shown in the confessional, "Thumbs down? What's this, Youtube?" he starts scratching the back of his head, "Although I must confess those thumbs up boosted my confidence."

The next car arrives and drops a short overweight man with long black hair. He wears glasses and a blue jacket over a red shirt. Chris announces, as always, "Welcome, Dominic!"

"Call me Do, please!" says Dominic with a smug expression on his face, "The one and only DoMia, legendary paladin from Zendar Kingdom."

Lance raises an eyebrow, "Are you serious? Can someone kick this guy back to Dorkland?"

"LAWLZORS!" says Dominic. He is still walking to the other competitors, not caring about Lance's mean comments.

Dominic is shown in the confessional, "Haters gonna hate."

Another car arrives, and a faint noise can be heard coming from it.

"What's that noise?" asks Cillian.

Ryan says, "It seems like it's coming from the car, but I can't see a siren or anything like that."

As soon as the door opens the noise gets louder. A middle aged woman with blond spiked hair comes out of it continuously yelling, "Wooooooooooooooooo!"

"Excuse me mistress," Ryan tries to talk to her, byt she continunues yelling.

Lance slaps her across the face and the lady suddenly stops.

"Oh, what the heck!?" she says, "Don't you respect your elders?"

Lance thinks for a moment, "Um, yes I do, unless they sound like a broken police siren!"

"I'm sorry," says the short haired lady adjusting her headband, "I just couldn't keep my excitement. It's hard to believe I am here."

Mallory interrupts, "No, he should be sorry!" She says pointing to Lance, "Its not nice to slap an old lady."

"But I-" starts Lance.

Lizzie says smiling, 'It's okay, I'm used to it," she receives some worried looks, "And I'm not that old!"

Chris says to her, "Welcome, Lizzie, to Total Drama!"

"Oh yeah, I'm on Total Drama!" yells Lizzie, "Wooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"Shut it!" yell the contestants in unison, except Ryan who says a barely audible "Could you stop yelling, please?"

"Okay, okay. An elder can't have fun nowadays," Lizzie says looking to the side.

Cillian looks at her sympathetically, "Of course you can, Lizzie, have all the fun you want."

Lizzie yells once again, "Woooooooooooooooo!" the contestats cover their ears while Cillian grins mischevously.

As the next car arrives, Lizzie stops yelling. A tall young man with short black hair and a big joyful smile on his face steps out of the vehicle. "Hi Chris!" he says with a very soft voice that doesn't fit him at all.

Mathew nudges Lance and both laugh at young man's unusual voice.

"Hello, Louie," says Chris, "And welcome to Total Drama, man!"

Loiue hugs Chris, "Thank you very much!" he says, leaving Chris looking uncomfortable.

Louie proceeds to hug every single contestant present at the moment, leaving them as uncomfortable as Chris. When he reaches Mallory, he hugs her for a longer time, takes a deep whiff and lets go of her.

Louie is shown in the confessional, "Mallory is perfect for me, I know it! She is the prettiest girl I have ever seen, and we will marry and have beautiful children! That's what I call love at first sight," he sighs and smiles dreamily.

The next car to arrive drops a blond physically fit woman. She wears a purple headband, pink top, black gymnastic pants and bright pink leg warmers.

The woman eyes the contestants, especially Meredith and Lizzie, and asks, "Oh my, is it headbands season? I thought I was the one with an eccentric fashion sense," she laughs.

Mathew examines her from bottom to top and says, "I think it's a little bit of both."

"Looks like someone got stuck in the eighties," says Lance, mocking the woman's eccentric wardrobe.

"Wow you-" Cillian tries to talk but is interrupted by Chris.

"Okay, enough of comments about Inna's wardrobe!" yells Chris, "Welcome to Total Drama, by the way."

Inna smiles and says, "Thank you, Chris. And I thought you were the mean one."

Chris grins, "It's just a matter of time, girl," he says, "This is just episode one."

Inna looks scared but soon smiles, "Anyway," she directs to the contestants, "You might be a little confused by my outfit. I'm dressed like that to promote my fitness and health care projects, because, you know, we have to fight obesity..." a shadow covers Inna, as some of the contestants look at her get frightened. Regardless of that, she continues talking, "and obesity is really bad. You don't want to end up morbidly obese because you just lay down in your couch eating junk food the entire day and-" Inna is interrupted by a powerful throat clearing.

As the blonde looks behind her, she notices an incredibly tall obese man. He wears a formal blue shirt with two pens sticking out of his pocket, and his frame is strongly intimidating.

A joyful Chris announces, "Welcome to Total Drama, Foreman!"

Inna starts chuckling nervously as she stays still in front of the mountain of a man known as Foreman.

The large man furrows his eyebrows and says in an increibly deep voice, "I will let you get away with that one," he joins the other contestants.

Inna is shown in the confessional looking frightened, "I... Saw my life... Flash before my eyes."

The next car arrives, dropping a girl with dirty blond hair and freckles in her face, she wears a grey shirt and dark jeans. As she gets out of the car, Lana smiles wide.

Lana appears in the confessional, "I think I know that girl, and if I'm right she is VelvetCupcakes, the amateur mystery novel writer!" she squeals excitedly, "I can recognize her from her profile pic, I love this girl so much I might be her number one fan! I can't wait to be her best friend."

"Yo, Terry!" says Chris greeting her.

Terry looks at him uneasy, "Yo, err... Bro!" she walks to the other contestants.

Halle looks at Terry and says, "Put more confidence next time, you were too insecure," Terry smiles and nods.

The next car arrives, and a bearded average-looking man wearing a plaid green and red shirt steps out of it.

Chris announces, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Antonio!"

Every girl present at the moment swoons, with the exception of Halle.

Halle says, "Ugh, come on, this guy isn't even handsome. Right, Terry?" she looks to the side only to see Terry gazing at Antonio.

Lance is shown in the confessional, "What happened to the ladies? That guy isn't even attractive!"

Louie says in the confessional, "Come on, even I am more good looking than that guy! Why do the ladies ignore me?"

"Hello," says Antonio to the contestants, "Nice to meet you," he waves, revealing an engagement ring on his finger.

Lance smirks and says, "Cue the girls crying."

Meredith is shown in the confessional, "Whyyyyyyyyyyy!?" she cries.

Lizzie appears in the confessional, "So young and already engaged? That meas no fun for us."

Mallory says in the confessional, "Why must you be so handsome!?"

A car arrives and a girl with shoulder-lengh blond hair wearing a grey sweater steps out of it.

"Patricia!" says Chris, "You are a big fan of Total Drama, so you might as well be a big fan of moi!" he looks to the side and scoffs, "Who isn't?"

Patricia says, "Well, to be honest, you are my least favorite reality show host," she smiles embarassed.

Cillian laughs obnoxiously from where he is. As everybody looks at him, he giggles, "Teehee?"

Chris glares at Patricia, "But I still like you, don't worry," she says smiling.

"That's more acceptable," says Chris.

Patricia says in the confessional, "I should have lied and say he was my favorite... But he lacks some qualities a reality show host must have. I mean, where are the eybrow raises?"

The next car arrives and drops a short boy, who is carrying a black and golden box.

"If it isn't Xavier," Chris says, "And of course, his pet box."

Xavier looks angry, "It is not a pet!" he yells.

"What is it, then?" asks Meredith.

"I'm glad you are interested, dear lady," says Xavier, "This box is simply the answer to everything."

Dominic interrupts, "Bull! Everyone knows the answer to everything is 43."

"42, chubs, " says Halle while looking her nails.

Terry asks, "You read that book too?" Halle nods. "Awesome!" says Terry smiling wide.

Lana is shown in the confessional, "Cupcakes-" She pauses, "I mean, Terry is already making a friend. That doesn't mean she can't have two, right?" she smiles nervously.

The next car arrives, and a peculiar-looking woman steps out of it. She has dark skin and hair, wears a torn lilac shirt, and old pieces of fabric around her waist like a skirt. Her most notable feature is the missing piece of her forehead, allowing us to see her flesh.

Louie jumps scared and screams, "Oh my God, what is that?" the lady approaches Louie.

"What do you want from me?" asks Louie.

The woman says in a rispy voice, "Do you have chicken?"

Louie starts crying, "Please, don't hurt me!"

"Weak!" yells the woman. She approaches Ryan and asks in her rispy voice, "Do you have chicken?"

Ryan keeps his composure ands says, "I'm afraid I don't, mistress."

"You see now!?" everyone turns their attention to the woman as she continues, "That's nowadays' youth will end up robbed! Raped! And beat up! Only to have their corpses thrown in the dumpster!"

Everybody stands there in an awkward silence, until Lance breaks it, "Can someone please take this mess back to the mental hospital?"

Chris smiles sweetly, "Aww, I love warm welcomes. This is Anamaria, everyone!"

The next car arrives as Chris says, "Now I would like everyone to direct their attention to that car!"

The door opens, and a strong hispanic man wearing a red sleeveless shirt and a hat with a yellow "K" in it steps out.

"Oh my gosh!" says Mallory, "Is that THE Carlos?"

Lance's eyes widen, "How are we supposed to compete with someone like him on a reality show!?"

"Dude," Says Mathew, "I'm your fan!"

Patricia is shown incredibly angry in the confessional, "I can't believe they brough this obnoxious piece of crap to MY Total Drama! And I guess he didn't even had to pass through the auditioning process!" she starts breathing heavily, "Control yourself, Patricia, control yourself," she pauses and looks down, "AAAAAAAARGH-" the camera goes static.

Chris smiles wide, "This man here spares introductions, right dude?"

Carlos shakes Chris' hands and says, "Right!"

The last car is seen arriving, and a redheaded girl steps out of it. She wears a grey shirt and has a piercing on her nose.

"What's up?" she asks.

Chris greets her, "Cleo! Welcome to Total Drama."

"Thank you, Chris," she says.

During this bland scene, Dominic is checking Cleo out in a very noticeable way.

Cleo turns to him, "What? Never seen a girl before?"

Dominic looks the other side and whistles innocently.

Cleo says in the confessional, "Creep."

"We have everyone!" says Chris, "Now for the teams..."

Patricia asks, "We will not have a team pick?"

"No, I decide!" says Chris with a smirk, "The first team consists of Xavier, Cleo, Ryan, Halle, Dominic, Lana, Cillian, Inna, Foreman and..."

Lana is shown in the confessional, "Please be Terry, please be Terry..."

"Terry," says Chris.

Lana yells, "Yes!" and immediatly covers her mouth with her hands.

"Okay," says Chris slowly. He speaks normally again, "You will be known as the Soaring Seagulls!" the team cheers.

Chris starts, "As for Carlos, Anamaria, Lance, Meredith, Louie, Lizzie-"

"Woooooooohoooooooo!" yells Lizzie.

Chris resumes, "Antonio, Patricia, Mathew, and Mallory, you will be known as the Clam Chowders!"

"Really?" asks Cleo, "They get an awesome name complete with a reference and we are clam chowders?"

"Get used to it," says Chris, "That's what you will eat while staying at the cruise ship," Meredith gags.

Chris continues, "Speaking of cruise ships, you will now embark in S.S. Total Drama!"

Louie asks, "So why does this ship say 'Queen Bohemia'?"

"Simple," says Chris, "That's not your cruise ship," the luxurious cruise ship known as 'Queen Bohemia' leaves the dock revealing an old rusty ship where we can see the name 'S.S. Total Drama' written, "All aboard S.S. Total Drama!" announces Chris.

The contestants faces express shock, and some even disgust.

"Classic Chris," says Patricia.

Chris impatiently states, "What are you waiting for? All aboard!"

The twenty contestants plus Chris board the ship, "This is the deck," says Chris, "With swimming pool, and everything else someone would want in a deck."

Mathew asks, "Are you too lazy to list everything we will find in this deck?"

"Yes," says Chris, "Problem?" he directs the contestants to a large area full of tables, "This is the dining area, where you will have all the clam chowder you want, and guess who is cooking?"

Meredith asks, "Chef Hatchet?"

"That was a rethorial question," says Chris, "But you are right, Chef Hatchet!"

Mathew asks, "Can't you get a good cook at least once?"

"I wonder why this guy still haven't retired," Says Patricia.

"Chicken!" yells Anamaria.

Chris says, "Don't worry dudes and dudettes, Chef Hatchet has experience in cruise ships."

Various sighs of relief are heard.

"He used to clean the deck in S.S. Crappyboatthatbreakseasily," says Chris.

The sighs of relief now turn into mumbles.

Chris says, "Now, down that hallway you will find your cabins, one for the Seagulls and one for the Chowders, but don't worry, the cabins are divided into two rooms: One for men and one for women."

"Good," says Cleo, "Because I don't want to sleep near someone," she says that turning her head in Dominic's direction.

Chris instructs, "You may go to your cabins now, see you tomorrow for the first challenge!"

The contestants follow Chris' orders.

The host turns to the camera, "That's it, twenty contestants in one cruise ship, and there is one more twist they still don't know. Find out about this twist and many other interesting, and not so interesting stuff in the next episode of S.S. Total Drama!"

Chapter 2 - Honey, We Aren't Moving
Chris is shown standing on the dock of the cruise ship, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama, we met the twenty contestants for this season! Pretty interesting cast, isn't it? Guess who chose it," he points to himself with his thumb, "Uh-huh, you can stop thanking me now. The the recently arrived contestants were assigned to teams, and had a little tour around the cruise ship where they will stay during this season. What will happen today, in the first challenge of S.S. Total Drama? Find out now!"

The male Soaring Seagulls are shown in their room of the cabin.

Xavier asks his box, "Which bed should I choose?" he waits some seconds, nods and lays on one of the beds.

Dominic laughs and says to Ryan, "What a nerd!" he gets a magazine entitled 'Over Nine Thousand' and lays in his bed reading it. Ryan rolls his eyes and leaves the room.

Cillian, who is sitting on his bed, observes Dominic reading, Xavier presumably sleeping, and Foreman snoring loudly. The boy looks down, "This is so boring," he says to himself stretching the 'so'.

Meredith and Patricia are shown in their cabin.

Patricia smiles, "Meredith, my friend, would you join me in a plan?"

"Of course Pat," Meredith says in her ususal goofy voice, "What kind of plan do you have in mind?"

Patricia says, "There is a guy here-"

"Ooooh," Meredith interrupts, "Patty is in love!"

"Eww, no!" yells Patricia, "That's not it," she blushes.

Merdith asks, "Then what is it?"

Patricia says, "There is this guy here named Carlos, you probably know him from TV."

Meredith smiles, "Oh yeah, even I know that one, it's the famous Kentucky Carlos!"

Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Well, at least she doesn't live under a rock and actually knows who is Carlos. Meredith may be my only option, I can't mess up trying to befriend her."

"And you know what else?" asks Patricia rethorically, "Carlos is the single worst thing to ever happen to reality television!"

"Wow," says Meredith, "I was never into reality shows, but my brother relly liked him in Outlaster."

Patricia's eyes widen, "Don't listen to your brother, Carlos is dumber than a pile of bricks!"

Meredith raises her finger, "Then why does my brother say that his strategy-"

"I said don't listen to him!" yells Patricia as she holds Meredith's shoulders, "Now, I propose you a little alliance so we can get rid of that little worm that is plaguing Reality TV like a disease!"

Meredith looks at her confused, "If you say so..."

"Deal." says Patricia, "Now we just have to plot his elimination."

Merdith says, "What if he is plotting our elimination right now?"

Patricia chuckles and sighs, "I doubt it, he is probably in his cabin smelling his own farts."

The scene cuts to Mathew and Carlos in their cabin.

"And that's how we blindsided Ralph," says Carlos, "Ah, that old rascal..."

Mathew says, "Awesome, dude," he thinks for a moment, "What do you think of an alliance?" Carlos smirks.

Carlos is shown in the confessional, "I just talked about my epic blindside and the guy offers me an alliance? I don't know if I'm that smart or just surrounded by idiots."

Carlos asks, "And who else will be part of it?"

"I know someone who might be interested," says Mathew, "I'll get him," He gets up and leaves the room.

Lance is shown with Mallory in a hot tub near the deck of the ship.

Mallory gets near Lance and romantically caresses his arm, "So... tell me more about you," she says seductively.

"I'm gay," he says bluntly, making Mallory blush out of embarassment.

Mallory is shown in the confessional, "Wow, talk about embarassment. Well, at least there are other hotties in that cruise ship."

The scene goes back to the 'couple' in the hot tub. Both are shown looking at each other blankly until Mathew arrives.

"Hey," says Mathew, "Lance, I have to talk to you."

Lance waits for him to talk.

"Alone," says Mathew.

Lance quickly gets out of the hot tub and follows Mathew, "See you later!" Lance says to Mallory.

Mallory smiles and waves.

The blonde is shown in the confessional, "There's something really suspiscious going on there. I will investigate"

The two boys are shown in the hallway, "What do you think of an alliance?" asks Mathew.

Mallory hides near the entrance of the hallway, hearing their conversation from this point on.

"Just you and me?" asks Lance.

Mathew says, "No. You, me," he whispers, "and Carlos," Mallory's eyes get wide.

Lance asks, "Isn't it better to get one more person? I mean, to make it safer," Mallory looks puzzled.

"We can think about that later," says Mathew, "So far it's just us three." Mallory looks concerned and runs away.

The blonde is shown in the confessional again, "I knew there was something going on between these two, but Carlos? I can't accept it, he is a married man!"

All the girls except Mallory are shown sitting on another table at the dining area.

"Why isn't the ship moving?" asks Halle, who is eating a steak, "Im tired of sitting in this dock."

Meredith looks up from her plate, surprised, "The ship isn't moving? Then why is Anamaria always getting motion sick?" Anamaria gets up and vomits in a trash can.

Inna says, "That doesn't make sense."

Halle points to Anamaria, "She doesn't make sense," Anamaria waves holding a dead fish.

Cillian enters the dining room, "May I join you girls at the table?"

"Of course you can," says Terry politely.

Cillian sighs and says, "The guys in my team are so boring," he looks down, "I wish I could spend some time with you girls," Cillian sits in an empty chair.

Anamaria returns to the table, only to see Cillian taking her spot, "That is my spot!" she yells.

"Sorry mistress, it was empty," says Cillian innocently.

"Get out of my spot!" yells Anamaria once again.

Cillian looks at her, "Let me stay there," his eyes sparkle, "Pretty please?"

Anamaria looks sympathetic, "Awww, of course you can," she walks to Halle and yells, "Let me sit there!"

"No, that's my spot," says Halle defensively.

Anamaria hits Halle with a dead fish, "Let me sit there now! I want to finish my corn soup!"

Halle gets a chicken wing and gives it to Anamaria, "Don't you want chicken? Have fun!"

Anamaria grabs the chicken wing and smiles wide, "Chicken!" she yells before hitting Halle once again with a dead fish and running to her cabin while cackling evilly.

Halle sniffs the air, "I have to take a shower, my hair smells like dead fish."

Cillian looks at her with his sparkling eyes, "Why don't you finish your steak first?"

"You're right," says Halle, "I can handle this fish smell for some minutes."

Cillian gets up, "I think I'm going, I have to..." he stops to think, "Use the bathroom," some of the girls look uncomfortable, "Sorry, I didn't mean to put it that bluntly," he walks away embarassed.

Cillian is shown entering his cabin and getting a 'Super Glue' tube. He sneaks into the cabin of the female Soaring Seagulls. Cillian spots a cerulean bag with a tag that reads 'Halle', he searches for some beauty products until finding a bottle.

"Oh, I found the shampoo," he says as he fills the bottle with super glue, "Classic," he grins.

Cillian's grin fades as he hears some steps. The boy hides behind the cabin door.

Halle is shown entering the cabin, "The door is open?" the brunette asks herself, "Suspiscious," she searches through her bag, "Oh, I forgot something," Halle leaves her cabin and enters the Clam Chowders cabin.

Cillian sighs relieved, he leaves the girls cabin and enters his.

Halle returns to her cabin and enters the bathroom. The camera shows the shower cabin from outside, only Halle's feet are visible. Some time later, the brunette leaves the bathroom wrapped around a towel, with another towel around her head, only to find all the other girls from her team already in the cabin.

"So..." says Halle, "What's up, girls?" she says removing the towel from her head, only to reveal her hair looking the same as always.

Inna says, "You might want to change in the bathroom, there are cameras here."

"Eh," says Halle, "I don't care," to her teammates surprise, Halle starts changing in front of the cameras. Of course, her body is censored.

Lana is shown in the confessional, "Why can't I be pretty like Halle? Her body is just perfect," she looks down, "Why must I be so fat and ugly? I'll never be Velvet-" she pauses, "I mean, Terry's friend."

Terry looks down at her hands, "Oh, my hands are so dry," she looks up, "Does anybody have a cream or something?"

Halle says, "Of course Terry homeskillet," she hands her a bottle, "Feel free to use it."

Terry applies some cream to her hands and rubs them against each other, only to realize her hands are now glued together. Her eyes widen as she asks, "What the..."

The girl is interrupted by Chris on the megaphone, "The next challenge will start in five minutes, meet me in the sports court. In case you don't know where it is located... Well, good luck finding it!" Chris laughs, "McLean out!"

"Err, girls," says Terry, "Help?" she tries to unglue her hands to no success.

"I got this!" yells Inna as she jumps at Terry and tres to split hands appart, "No progress."

Lana timidly states, "Girls, we don't have time, the challenge will start."

"Lana is right," says Cleo, "We have to get there soon, at least we can try to win."

Chris, the Clam Chowders, and the boys from Soaring Seagulls are shown waiting for the female Seagulls.

Louie impatiently says, "Gosh, what is taking them so long?"

As if on cue, the girls from the Soaring Seagulls arrive. Terry is is still with her hands glued together.

Cillian says to Halle, "Nice hair!" he snickers, but soon realizes her hair is perfectly normal, "Wait..."

Cillian is shown in the confessional, "What went wrong? I did everything right!"

The scene returns to Chris and the contestants in the sports court.

"Welcome to your first challenge!" says Chris, "But first, you may have noticed that we are not moving."

Lance says, "It doesn't take a genius to notice that."

"The thing is," says Chris, "We are not moving!" he puts emphasis on the 'not'.

Antonio asks, "You mean, never?"

"Yes," says Chris, "When I said you would compete in a cruise ship, I meant it literally."

"Wow," says Matthew, "That's just lame."

Lance laughs and says, "Low budget, Chris?"

"No!" says Chris defensively, "... Partially. You see, we have some problems in the engine, just some missing nuts and bolts, nothing really serious. But as soon as my interns fix it, we will be sailing across the ocean!"

"Wooooooohooooooooo!" cheers Lizzie, causing everyone else to cheer at the same time.

Chris yells, "Enough!" everyone stops cheering, "Let me explain the first challenge, it's a simple one. You will compete in a basketball match, the whole team will be playing, first team to make three points wins."

"That's it?" asks Carlos.

Chris replies, "Yes, plain and simple. You can begin... Now!" he throws the basketball upwards.

Foreman easily grabs the ball due to his height and runs towards the hoop, when he gets there he starts breathing heavily. During this break, Mathew gets the ball from him and runs to the other hoop, avoiding anyone on his way.

Mathew throws the ball at the basket and Terry tries to block to no success, due to her hands glued together, "Point to the Clam Chowders!" announces Chris.

The Clam Chowders cheer and the players get back in position.

Inna starts with the ball, but Carlos satches it from her. As he runs towards the hoop, Halle manages to get the ball from him and throws it to Dominic, who is on the other side of the field staring at Cleo. The ball bumps in his head and is snatched by Meredith. The girl runs and launches the ball in Antonio's direction, the bearded man catches it and aims at the basket. Lana jumps without much energy to catch the ball, but fails, "Another point to the Clam Chowders!" announces Chris, "Next time the Clam Chowders make a point they win, so be aware, Seagulls."

"Keep up the good work chowders!" cheers Lizzie. The competitors get back in position again.

The ball starts with Xavier this time, he is awkwardly holding bothe the ball and his box. Xavier throws the ball to Inna, who runs towards the hoop until Carlos gets in her way. The blonde, then, throws the ball to Cleo.

Cleo runs, but is soon blocked by Mathew and Lance. The only option is to throw the ball to Terry, and she does so. Terry tries to bounce the ball on the ground using her glued hands but fails miserably. Mathew gets the ball from her and throws it to Lance, who runs until being blocked by Foreman, he manages to trick Foreman and throws the ball to Carlos, who makes the Clam Chowders' third and final point.

Chris blows a whistle.

"That's it?" asks Cleo, "How anticlimatic."

"Yes, Clair," says Chris, showing all his knowledge about the contestants' names, "The Clam Chowders win 3-0... Pathetic, I must add."

Dominic yells, "This challenge was pathetic!"

Chris asks, "What else can we do stuck in a ship?" Dominic remains silent, "Thought so," adds Chris, "But let's go straight to the point, Soaring Seagulls, see you and your patheticness at the elimination ceremony. Good luck getting rid of one of you," he leaves the area chuckling.

Halle smirks and says, "And I know exactly who, right Terry?" Terry gulps, "Relax," says Halle still smirking, "Everything will be alright."

In the male Clam chowders cabin, all ten team members are partying, or at least trying to have the best thing they can call a party.

"I brought music!" announces Louie in his high pitched voice. Everyone cheers as the boy gets a radio, when he turns it on a Disney song starts playing.

Mathew looks at him with a raised eyebrow, "Illana Santana? Really?"

"What a loser!" says Lance. Both young men laugh.

Louie gets in an awkward kunf-fu position and yells as if he was ready to attack the bullies.

The bullied teenager appears in the confessional, "I hope Mallory noticed my mad fighting skills, she will soon realize I'm a real man."

Mallory apears in the confessional stifling her laughter, she finally gives up and laughs histerically.

Mallory is shown laughing as Louie throws punches at the air.

"Is this guy for real?" asks Lance.

Mallory giggles, "I hope he isn't, that's depressing," upon hearing that, Louie looks down and leaves the cabin.

Lizzie is shown gushing over Antonio, "So, you are a teacher, right?"

"Yes," replies the bearded man.

She looks at his shirt, "I really like this shirt, where did you buy it?"

Antonio looks unconfortable, "I don't remember."

"Oh," says Lizzie, "You are a man of few words, how cute."

Mallory joins the older lady, "He is a hottie isn't he?"

Antonio blushes, "I am still here," he chuckles awkwardly.

"I know, sweetie," says Mallory while rubbing his hair, "I love your hair!"

"Thanks," he says while blushing, "I have to... Go somewhere," Antonio gets up and leaves the cabin.

Lizzie and Mallory look at each other and gush at the same time, "Awww, he is so shy!"

Anamaria suddenly appears between the two ladies, "Chicken!" she yells.

The scene changes to the Soaring Seagulls in the elimination ceremony, it's nighttime and they are all sitting in folding chairs at the side of the cruise ship near the lifesaver boats. Chris is standing in front of them, holding a plate with nine marshmallows, "This is your first time at the elimination ceremony, but you probably already know what to do after all those seasons. As I call your name, you will receive a marshmallow, the one who doesn't receive one will be eliminated and taken to the Lifesaver of Losers, which will descend into the ocean..."

"Of shame?" asks Cleo.

Chris says, "No, just the ocean. But don't worry, you just have to row back to land and you will be safe, we are not evil to the point of dropping you in the middle of the ocean," Chris looks to the side and scoffs, "Last time it resulted in lawsuits," the host pauses, "Anywaaay, marshmallows go to..."

As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.

"Ryan."

"Halle."

"Foreman."

"Cleo."

"Xavier."

"Inna."

"Dominic."

Chris looks at the remaining contestants, "Lana, Terry and Cillian..."

Lana's eyes start getting teary, "Lana, you're safe!" says Chris as he throws a marshmallow to her.

The girl smiles wide and catches the marshmallow.

Chris says, "Terry," the girl raises her glued hands, "Do I have to explain why you're in the bottom two?" she shakes her head.

"As for Cillian," says Chris, "You know what you did."

Cillian fakes surprise, "What did I do?"

Chris says, "The last marshmallow goes to..."

"Terry!" says Chris as he throws her marshmallow. It hits her in the forehead and falls on the floor, as she is unable to catch it due to her hands glued together.

"What!?" asks Cillian, surprised.

Halle smirks, "I'm smarter than you think, boy."

"Cillian, time to take the Lifesaver of Losers," says Chris.

Cillian enters the boat and descends into the ocean. Once floating, he looks down and says to himself, "I had so much potential and all of it was wasted. I could have dominated the strategic game, but I preferred to use my deceiving powers to pull a prank... I guess that wasn't the wisest choice."

Chris is shown in the cruise ship, "Ah, at least he learned his lesson... If you're going to be a villain be a decent one," the host laughs, "Will this ship be fixed by next episode? Will Louie be able impress Mallory? Will anyone make another stupid mistake? Find the answer to those questions in the next episode of S.S. Total Drama!" he waits a moment, "Or not."

Chapter 3 - Waking Up In... Vegas?
Chris is standing on the deck of the cruise ship, he smiles and starts the usual recap, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama, alliances were formed," the recap shows Patricia talking to Meredith, then Mathew talking to Carlos, "Suspiscions were raised," The recap shows Mallory overhearing Mathew and Lance's conversation, "And hands were glued," the recap now shows Terry trying to split her hands apart, "But don't worry, at the end of the day she was sent to the medical tent. Nothing some boiling water couldn't fix."

Chef arrives at the deck holding a chainsaw, "Problem solved, Chris," he says.

Chris' eyes widen, "Ch-Chef! Get out of here!"

Chef leaves the area, allowing Chris to contimnue the recap, "In a display of utter patheticness, the Soaring Seagulls lost 3-0 in a basketball game and sent Cillian home for pulling a sticky prank on Terry. How did they discover it? Find out now on S.S. Total Drama!

The Soaring Seagulls are coming back from the elimination ceremony.

"Wow, Halle, how did you know it was him?" asks Terry, obviously impressed.

Halle smirks and says, "Nothing walks past Halle's hawk eyes."

Terry laughs, "Oh Halle, you're awesome."

"I know," Halle replies.

Lana is shown in the confessional, "Halle is so obnoxious, how can VelvetCupcakes like her? Why can't she be my friend?!" Lana gasps, "D-did I say VelvetCupcakes? I meant Terry, totally Terry."

Carlos, Lance and Mathew are shown in the guys' part of the Clam Chowders cabin.

"Why are we here again?" asks Lance.

Carlos raises an eyebrow, "That's our cabin, remember?"

"Oh, right," says Lance, "I thought we were conveniently palced here so we would discuss our alliance."

Mathew says, "That is a good idea, but we need a fourth person for it to work."

"And I know exactly who," says Carlos, "Remember the first reaction upon my arrival?"

Lance thinks for a moment, "Err, no. Why would I?"

"It was Mallory's," says Carlos, "She was impressed by me, so she might like me. Plus, she is gullible enough."

"You're right," says Lance, "I don't think Mallory is the brightest bulb out there. I mean, she hit on me! Look at my skinny jeans and bright shoes, could I be more stereotypical?"

Carlos' eyes widen, "Wait, stereotypical?"

Mathew laughs, "Only if you wore a bow in your hair," he says.

"Come on!" says Lance, "Gays don't wear bow on their hair, what kind of dimwit would think that?"

Carlos gets up, "I'm going to... See if I find... Mallory! I'll search for Mallory," he leaves the cabin.

Foreman is shown sleeping in his cabin. He is snoring loudly.

Inna's head pops up from the door, "Hello... F-Foreman?"

Foreman turns around and grumbles.

Inna shifts her eyes back and forth before poking Foreman's belly. She gasps, "Why doesn't it jiggle?" she asks herself, "Looks like he's pregnant," the blonde giggles.

Foreman opens his eyes and grabs Inna's neck, "What are you doing here, my little friend?" he asks in his loud, deep voice.

"Your little friend, ya?" she asks, "I'm pleased to be called your friend, now would you like some... I don't know, green tea?"

"No!" Foreman barks.

Inna smiles nervously, "Okay thanks bye!" she says as fast as possible before running out of the cabin.

Inna is shown in the confessional looking rather sad, "Well, I noticed something last challenge, and I wanted to help Foreman... But I'm too scared of him!" she smiles confidently, "I gotta try again!"

Inna enters Foreman's cabin again, this time with a sandwich and orange juice, "Foreman, I made some sandwiches for the girls, would you like some too?"

"My little friend..." says Foreman, "Get out!"

Inna says, "I just wanted to help," she gets down on her knees, "Please?"

"What do you want?" the large man asks.

"Well," says Inna, "I noticed your performance on the basketball challenge, how you lost your breath after running and... Would you like some help?"

Foreman raises an eyebrow, "Help? I don't need help."

Inna takes a bite of the sandwich she made for Foreman and puts it on a bedside table, "Are you sure you don't want help? You need to get more active!" she starts jumping and splashes orange juice all over the floor.

"Stop that!" shouts Foreman. He looks down and says, "I do want help."

"Yay!" cheers Inna, "Meet me at the deck at six for some aerobics!" she leaves the room.

Foreman looks down and sighs heavily.

Inna suddenly burst the door open and yells, "Don't forget your sweatband!" she abruptly slams the door and leaves.

Foreman looks down and takes a bite of Inna's sandwich, "Hmm, tuna," He says to himself.

The dining area is shown, Terry and Halle are sitting on a table, Lana is sitting by herself on another, and the remaining girls are all sitting on a third one.

Lana, who is eating salmon, pokes her food with a fork, while looking at Halle and Terry chatting and laughing at the other table.

Ryan sits down next to Lana with a plate of salad and a glass of iced tea, "May I sit here with you?"

Lana smiles, "Of course. I was feeling kinda lonely," she says.

"Iced tea?" says Ryan, offering her his beverage.

Lana looks at the glass of tea, "I think it is," she says nonchalantly.

Ryan chuckles and says with a smile, "No, silly, I was offering you."

"No, thanks," she mumbles while staring at Terry and Halle on their table.

"Anything wrong?" asks Ryan.

Lana continues staring at the two girls, not paying attention to Ryan's question.

Ryan waves his hand in front of the distracted girl, "Lana?" he calls her.

Lana looks at him and blushes, "Oh, sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

"I asked if anything was wrong," says Ryan.

Lana mumbles, "No, it's okay."

"If you say so..." says Ryan before starting to eat his salad.

Ryan is shown in the confessional, "It doesn't take a genius to notice something is wrong with Lana. I want to help her, but I feel like I'm invading her personal space."

Antonio is shown in the deck, sitting in a folding chair while drinking some sort of tropical juice.

Suddenly, a hand starts rubbing his hair, and a voice says, "Hello Tony-poo, did I mention your hair is great today?"

Antonio turns around to see Lizzie, "Oh, hello Lizzie," he says, trying to be polite.

Mallory comes running from a distance, she arrives where Antonio is and says, "A-ha! There you are," she pinches his cheeks.

Lizzie turns to Mallory, "Get out, he's mine!" she says.

"Aren't you a little old for him?" asks Mallory in a mocking tone.

Lizzie responds, "Aren't you a little young for him?"

The girls start fighting verbally, and while this happens, Antonio sneaks out of his chair and leaves the area. Carlos arrives at the deck, the girls are still arguing, he sits in the folding chair and starts sipping from a glass of juice while hearing their discussion.

When the girls are done arguing, Lizzie turns to the folding chair and asks, "Who do you like better, Tony-poo?"

Carlos turns his head and answers, "Sorry, Antonio left quite some time ago."

"I gotta go find him!" says Lizzie before sprinting out of the deck.

Mallory looks at Carlos, "Soooo..." she tries starting a conversation.

Carlos smirks, "You, me, Mathew and... Lance. Alliance?"

Mallory is shown in the confessional, "Oh my gosh! I was offered to be in an alliance by Kentucky Carlos! Yes!"

Mallory smiles wide, "Of course! Who will we vote out first?"

"Hold your horses girl," says Carlos, "We've got much to discuss first."

Mallory smiles excitedly, "Okay, let's go to your secret hideout," she says.

Carlos looks at her concerned, "It's not like that, I just discuss stuff in my cabin," he says, "Besides, it's not time yet. See you later!' Carlos exits the area, leaving Mallory with a joyful smile on her face.

Also on the deck, Cleo is sitting in a folding chair, in her swimwear, reading something that appears to be a comic book. Dominic creeps behind Cleo and watches her as he drools.

Dominic is shown in the confessional, "Wow, the sight was gorgeous! Better than a double T-bone steak with extra barbecue sauce and potatoes with bacon and blue cheese dressing," the nerd stares blankly at a fixed point and starts drooling.

Cleo notices a shadow behind her and turns around, as she sees Dominic she slaps him with her comic book and yells, "Get away from me, creep!"

"Ow!" yells Dominic. He rubs his cheeks and asks, "What are you reading? Is it the last volume of Brass Man?"

Cleo raises an eyebrow, "It's a manga, stalker."

"Ooh, manga!" says Dominic, "Which ones do you like? Cadet Star? Samantha Disk Capturer?"

Cleo shows a page of the manga depicting a man cutting another man's head with a katana, and blood splashing everywhere, "Still think I'm into girly stuff?" she says, still with her eyebrow raised.

Dominic rubs his chin and thinks, "Hmm... Maybe," he says.

Cleo smiles, "Okay," she stares Dominic down, "Now get out of here unless you want to end up like Tojiro!"

"Who?" asks him, clueless.

Cleo holds up the manga in the page that depicts the man with a sliced head, while looking at Dominic in a scary manner.

"Oh my God, don't kill me!" he screams while running for his life.

Cleo looks at the camera and chuckles, "That always works," she says before getting a handled video-game and playing it, "Now I'll just relax and save the princess, it's gonna be-"

Cleo is interrupted by Chris' voice in the loudspeaker, "Attention contestants, meet me at the hallway near the entrance of the cruise ship's casino. I'll be waiting."

"Son of a monkey's uncle," says Cleo grumpily before closing her handled videogame and heading to the her cabin to change for the challenge.

Both teams are shown with Chris at the hallway, in front of the door which leads to the casino.

As Chris holds the handles of the large door, Xavier says monotonously, "The box tells me that we will not see what we are waiting for."

Dominic is shown in the confessional, he laughs obnoxiously and says, "What a dork."

Chris opens the door to reveal a large room, full of aracde machines and other games you can find in an arcade, like crane machines and skee balls.

Carlos says, "Chris, this looks nothing like a casino."

"Well, you see, Carlos," says Chris, "We here at Total Drama do not encourage gambling, so we replaced the old casino with this ultra-modern arcade!"

Cleo raises an eyebrow, "Ultra-modern? Isn't it that old game Frogger right there?" she says pointing to an arcade machine.

Chris gets in front of the machine, blocking it, "Err, no," he lies, "Now let me explain the rules: You will compete in a match-up arcade tournament, each match-up in a different arcade. Each time your team wins a match-up you will get one point. There will be nine match-ups, so one member from the Clam Chowders will have to sit out, any volunteer?"

"Well," says Carlos, "If no one wants, I can sit out. Any objections?"

"Chicken!" yells Anamaria.

Carlos sits on a bench and says, "I thought so."

Carlos is shown in the confessional, "I'm not lazy or unable to play arcades. It was a strategical move, if I don't participate, I won't fail. Therefore, I'll not be targeted if my team loses," he smirks.

"Okay," starts Chris, next to a slot machine, "The first match up is..." he turns the slot and the machine starts. It stops showing Dominic's head, Mathew's head and a 'SF' symbol, "Dominic versus Mathew! And they will be playing Sidewalk Fighters!" announces Chris.

"Yes!" cheers Dominic, "I'll pwn you in this game, for realz!"

Mathew rolls his eyes, "Wow, I think I just peed my pants."

Dominic and Mathew are shown in front of an arcade machine.

"I will chose Carly," says Dominic selecting a blonde with a red beret and green outfit.

Mathew silently selects a dark-skinned man with red hair.

Terry turns to Halle, "I wonder if Dominic is good at this game."

Halle points to the arcade. Both girls turn their attention to the machine, the screen is completely white. The white color fades, revealing Carly passed out on the floor and her energy bar empty, "Impossibru!" yells Dominic.

Halle turns to Terry, "Does that answer your question?"

Terry brings her hand to her forehead.

The scene cuts to Chris besides the slot machine. He starts announcing, "Next match-up..." the host turns the slot and the machine displays Xavier's head, Meredith's head and a crane, "Xavier and Meredith on the crane machine!" he announces, "You will take rounds at the crane, the first person to get a prize wins."

Meredith goes first. She starts handling the crane fairly well.

Patricia yells, "Go for the smallest prize, Meredith!"

Maredith starts answering her, "Okay Pat-" she stops as she notices a morbidly obese cat plushie, "Oh my gosh, this is so cute!" she yells.

Patricia covers her eyes as Meredith tries to get the cat plushie. The crane opens as wide as it can, but it's not big enough to get the cat, "Aww, shucks!" says Meredith, leaving the crane machine.

"Xavier, your turn," says Chris.

Xavier brings the box close to his ears and gets hold of the crane controller. He nods and turns right, nods again and goes forward, he nods once again and goes right one more time. Xavier presses the button and gets the prize, a rubber chicken, he nods again and brings the chicken to him. When the prize is in his hands, the Soaring Seagulls cheer for Xavier.

The boy monotonously says, "In the box, we trust."

The scene cuts to the slot machine spinning, it stops on Lana, Anamaria and a frog, "Lana and Anamaria will compete in Frogger!" announces Chris, "We will see who goes in the best time to decide the winner."

Lana is shown playing it, she is doing average, being ran over twice before getting to the end.

Anamaria is now in front of the machine, "How do I play this!?" she grumpily yells.

Mallory explains, "First you get the joystick, then you have to help the frog cross the road."

"Why not chicken!?" asks Anamaria.

Mallory sighs, "Sorry, Anna, there is no chicken."

"No chicken?" asks Anamaria in a calm manner, she waits some seconds and screams extremely loud, "No chicken!?"

Anamaria gets hold of the arcade machine and turns it over to the ground while screaming, "No chickeeeeeeen!?"

Anamaria is hit by in her neck by a tranquilizer and falls to the ground. Soon after, Chef arrives carrying a gun, "No need to thank me... Not that you ungrateful teenagers would."

He leaves dragging Anamaria by her arm.

Chris says, "Well, I guess Lana wins this round by default!" the Soaring Seagulls cheer.

The slot machine is shown stopping at Foreman, Lance and a kart, "Foreman and Lance will now compete in a kart race simulator!" announces Chris, he turns to the side and scoffs, "I'll love watching this."

Lance gets on his chair and adjusts himself in a comfortable position.

Foreman is shown struggling to get on his chair, partly because the chair is slightly tall, partly because he doesn't fit in it.

Inna runs to help him and starts pushing Foreman upwards to no success. She makes a gesture calling everyone from her team and commands, "Push!"

Inna is shown in the confessioanl, "Poor Foreman, he must have felt so embarassed. I wish I could help him... Oh wait, I will help him later today!" she smiles wide.

Foreman is shown sitting on the chair, he barely fits it and his stomach partially covers the kart's wheel. The countdown on the screen reaches zero and the race starts. Lance is doing great, while Foreman is struggling to turn the wheel.

"Go Foreman, you can do this!" cheers Inna.

Foreman's kart is riding off the road while he desperatly tries to turn the wheel, "Shut up, girl, it won't budge!"

Inna cheers louder, "Don't give up!"

"I'm trying!" barks Foreman, applying more strenght to the wheel. The wheel suddenly de-taches from the kart simulator, causing the burly man to lose his balance and fall off from the chair, letting a loud 'thud' when he hits the floor. On the screen, Foreman's kart hits a tree and explodes.

Chris lughs deviously, "I knew this would be good. Point to the Clam Chowders!"

The Soaring Seagulls surround Foreman to help him get on his feet.

A montage of several matches is shown. Mallory beats Terry in a dancing competition, Cleo beats antonio in a game of tetris, and Louie beats Ryan in a match of Duck Hunt.

The montage is interrupted, to show Louie in the confessional smiling wide, "Mallory totally fell for me when I beat Ryan in that game!"

The montage ends after Lizzie and Halle are done in a match of whac-a-mole.

"There we have it!" announces Chris, "Lizzie, you made eight points, congratulations."

"Wooooooohoooooo!" cheers Lizzie, "Beat that, girl!" she says poiting to Halle.

Chris reads the score, "And Halle made..." Chris' eyes widen, "Twenty-six points!"

The Soaring Seagulls cheer, exept Lana.

Terry friendly punches Halle's arm, "Twenty-six, huh? I never knew you were good in this kind of stuff."

Halle brags, "Heh, Terry dawg, I have a thing called natural talent."

"Oh, you're awesome, Halley," says Terry before hugging her friend.

Lana is shown in the confessional staring at the camera. Tears start forming on her eyes, and she quickly slaps her own face before the camera goes static.

Chris is shown besides the slot machine, "It's a tie so far, and this last challenge will decide the winner!"

Lance says, "Because that doesn't even happen all the time to build a climax."

"Shush!" says Chris, "The last match-up is Inna vesrus Patricia, and they will compete on the skee ball. Each one will roll the ball twice, the one who makes the most points wins."

Mathew sarcastically says, "Wow, Chris, that was a real twist," he laughs and fist-bumps Lance.

Inna is shown in front of the machine, she rolls the ball and gets fifty points, the highest score, "Yes!" she cheers, as well as her whole team, "I'm a professional skee ball player, guys."

Cleo laughs at Inna's joke.

Inna looks at Cleo, "No, seriously. I'm a professional skee ball player."

Patricia goes next, The Clam Chowders all cheer for her, "You can do this!"

"Go Patricia!"

"If you don't get it I kill you!"

Those and other motivational, or not so motivational phraes are heard.

Patricia rolls the ball and it falls in the ten point area, "Damn it!" she yells and heads to the door, "I give up!"

Meredith says, "Pat, you can do it! Try again!"

Patricia turns to her team, "Inna is a professional skee ball player, I'll never beat her!" she storms out of the arcade room.

Inna giggles, "I was just joking, who the heck makes a living out of playing skee ball?"

Chris announces, "With that, the Soaring Seagulls win immunity!" the winning team cheers.

"Clam Chowders," says Chris, "You know what to do, time to send someone packing. You are dismissed."

Carlos is shown in the confessional, "I have some ideas going on in my head... But I know in the end I will make the right decision," he grins.

It's roghly six PM and Inna is shown waiting at the deck. Foreman arrives wearing a sweatband and gym clothes.

"There you are, big guy!" says Inna excitedly, "I had aerobics planned for you, but I decided to change the schedule... jogging time!" she sprints away.

Foreman looks after her and yells, "Wait, girl!"

Inna returns to him, "What's the matter?" she asks.

"I..." starts Foreman, "I can't run."

Inna smiles and grabs his hand, "Of course you can, come with me!" she says cheerfully.

"No," says Foreman, "I literally can't."

Inna looks at him blankly, "Sorry, I'm not following."

"Just..." says Foreman, "Let's walk."

Inna nods and both start walking around the cruise ship instead of jogging.

Carlos, Lance, Mathew and Mallory are shown in the Clam Chowders girls cabin.

Lance asks, "Why are we in the girls cabin again?"

Mallory says, "Because unlike the boys cabin, it's empty. Except for her" she points to Anamaria snoring in a bed, "But she is like an inanimate object."

"Okay," says Carlos, "We need to focus."

"Of course we're voting for Patricia, right?" Asks Mathew.

"Maybe," says Carlos, "But as much as Patricia is useless, we have bigger threats than Miss Ragequit."

Lance asks, "So who will we vote for?"

Carlos says, "I don't know... Someone well-liked, someone popular."

"Not my Antonio!" yells Mallory defensively.

The three guys eye each other.

Carlos asks, "Mallory, could you do me a favor?"

"Yes sir," she says, saluting.

Carlos says, "Go tell Lizzie to vote for..." he thinks, "Patricia."

"Sure," says Mallory before walking away.

The three remaining guys eye each other and nod.

The Clam Chowders are shown at the elimination ceremony. Chris is holding a plate with nine marshmallows, "This is your first time at the elimination ceremony, but you probably already know what to do after all those seasons. As I call your name, you will receive a marshmallow, the one who doesn't receive one will be eliminated and taken to the Lifesaver of Losers, which will descend into the ocean. After that, just row back to land, you're in a dock after all. Anyway, marshmallows go to..."

As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.

"Carlos."

"Mallory."

"Louie."

"Meredith."

"Mathew."

"Lizzie."

"Lance."

"Patricia, Antonio and Anamaria," says Chris, "You are the bottom three, and the next marshammlow goes to... Anamaria."

The lady gets her marshmallow and stuffs it on her bra.

"Patricia," says Chris, "You gave up in the middle of the challenge for no apparent reason."

Patricia whines, "Yeah, yeah, I'm a quitter, now everybody hates me."

Chris rolls his eyes, "And Antonio," he says, "I don't know exactly why you're in the bottom two. The last marshmallow goes to..."

"Patricia!" says Chris as he throws the marshmallow to the girl.

Patricia grabs it and smiles, "It looks like I'm not that hated after all," she says

"Antonio," says Chris, "I don't know what you did, but it's time for you to go."

"Oh well," says Antonio before heading to the Lifesaver of Losers, "This sucks."

Lizzie kneels down and screams, "No, Tony-pooooooooooooo!"

Chris turns to the camera, "Wow, that was an unexpected elimination... No, it wasn't, I already knew the results," he laughs, "How was Antonio eliminated? What challenges are waiting for our competitors? And will we fnally leave this freaking dock? Find out next time, on S.S. Total Drama!"

Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Listen up. First, I know the editors will put this confessional after Chris closes the episode just to make me look like a supervillain. Second, I had to get rid of Antonio before the merge, or else, all the girls would be on his side. Just look at Lizzie and Mallory, that's just pathetic. Now, the voting went smoothly, my bully friends threatened Louie to vote for Antonio, and I just had to give Anamaria a chicken wing... Piece of cake!" he chuckles.

Chapter 4 - Battle Of Breakfasts
The ship's deck shown to the viewers. Instead of a smiling Chris, Chef is standing there with the usual frown on his face, "In the last episode of Total Drama, the people whose name I'm not paid to remember competed on an arcade, and an ugly fella was eliminated for some reason. What will hapen today on Total Drama..." he paues to remember the name of the season, "Cruise Ship!" he looks to the side, "Chris better give me a raise for this."

The competitors are shown exiting the elimination ceremony area, leaving Lizzie kneeling down on the floor.

Mallory approaches Lizzie and says, "Is everything okay?"

Lizzie turns around, "Get away from me you dirty nymphette!"

"You what?" asks Mallory, clueless.

Lizzie sighs, "Nevermind.," she puts her hand on Mallory's shoulder, "Aren't you even a little sad with Antonio leaving?"

"Kinda," says Mallory, "He was really cute, but there are other boys out there."

Lizzie says, "That's the problem, there are other guys out there for you," with emphasis on the 'for you'.

"Of course not," says Mallory sympathetically, "There is..." she tries to think of someone.

"See?" says Lizzie, "I'm too old for all those guys here. Well, there's Carlos, but he is married," she thinks for a moment, "And Foreman, but I don't want him to crush my bones," Lizzie shudders.

Mallory says, "You see, there is more to life than boys."

"I know, I'm not a boy crazed teenage girl," says Lizzie annoyed.

Mallory looks down, "I'm sorry, I was just trying to help. Let's go to bed, it's late."

Lizzie says "Yes, mom," she chuckles.

"Whatever you say," says Mallory as they walk to their cabin.

The boys side of the Soaring Seagulls cabin is shown. Ryan is the only one awake, he looks at a snoring Foreman, then at a snoring Dominic and puts pillow over his ears. Minutes later Xavier starts mumbling in his sleep, "Hail the box... The box is our leader... Mama, lass mich nicht...." Ryan looks around and leaves the room with a pillow and a blanket.

The Soaring Seagull's girls side of the cabin is shown, all of them are sleeping until a knock is heard on the door.

Lana wakes up and opens the door, only to see Ryan holding a pillow and a blanket.

"H-hello Lana," says Ryan, "Do you think, maybe... I could..." he starts scratching the back of his head, "Umm, s-sleep here?"

Lana stares at him before rubbing her eyes.

Ryan gasps, "Oh, sorry, did I just sound like a pervert there? That wasn't my intention, I just can't-"

"Of course you can," says Lana smiling.

Ryan jumps and says, "Thank you very much!"

Lana puts her finger to her lips, "Shhhh," she points to the sleeping girls.

Ryan lays on the floor and says, almost whispering, "Thank you very much."

It's already morning, and the Clam Chowder girls are all awake at their cabin, except Anamaria.

Lizzie chants as she stretches, "God morning everyone! Good moring everyone! I'm sure today is going to be a really good day-"

"We got it!" says Patricia annoyed. She smiles sweetly and says, "Good morning for you too."

Mallory is brushing her hair, "Good morning everyone!" she enthusiastically says.

Meredith says confused, "Gosh, what's so good about this morning?"

"Everything," says Lizzie, "A new day to come, a new challenge-"

"A new elimination ceremony," says Patricia.

Lizzie directs to Patricia, "Come on, don't be so pessimist, we will totally win today."

Patricia frowns, "I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist."

"Blah blah blah," says Meredith, "It's all the same thing, silly."

Patricia gasps, "I thought you were my friend!"

Meredith starts, "But I-"

She is interrupted by Louie abruptly opening the door, "Good morning girls!" he says excitedly, with a wide smile on his face.

Meredith waves and says, "Good morning Louie."

The boy enters their bedroom without asking and proceeds to hug Meredith and kiss both of her cheeks, "Meredith, your hair smells great today!" he walks to Patricia and hugs the girl, "Wow, such a soft skin, your friends might envy you," he walks to Lizzie and rubs her hair, "What shampoo do you use, your hair looks great!" he finally gets to Mallory and hugs her tightly.

Mallory is shown in the confessional, "That guy is totally into me, but what can I do? He is a dork, and kinda really ugly," she thinks for a moment, "Whatever, he will forget me eventually."

Louie takes a deep breath and lets go of Mallory, "Oh Mallory, I loved your pajama, it's very..." he tries thinking of a complimenting word, "sexy."

Mallory gasps and slaps Louie across the face, "Get out of here!" she yells.

"Okay, bye," says Louie obliviously before leaving.

Patricia asks, "Weren't you a little harsh on the boy, Mallory?"

"Hmph, he asked for it," says Mallory.

Lizzie suggests, "Maybe he just couldn't find the right word."

"Eh, whatever," says Mallory.

Anamaria suddenly wakes up and asks, "Did anyone say chicken!?" the girls look at her, weirded out.

Terry is shown waking up at her cabin, she rubs her eyes and spots Ryan sleeping on the floor, "Oh gosh, someone broke into our cabin during our sleep!" she yells desperatly, waking up her teammates.

Inna gets up, "I'll teach this creeper a lesson!" she says while kicking Ryan's face.

Ryan is screaming, getting his face kicked while the girls panick. Halle turns on the lights and looks at everyone, slightly concerned, "There, there, no need for all this violence, yo," she says.

Cleo says, "Of course there is, there is a creeper in our bedroom."

"Creeper?" asks Ryan.

"Yeah, he is no creeper, Silly Willy Walnuthead," says Halle.

Cleo raises an eybrow, "Your vocabulary baffles me."

"I try," says Halle uninterestedly.

Inna looks at Ryan, "So, what are you doing here?" she asks.

"I had trouble sleeping in my cabin," says Ryan, "Too much snoring and sleep talking. So Lana let me sleep here."

The girls glare at Lana, "Aww, he didn't do anything wrong, did he?" asks Lana.

"No," says Halle, "But next time, at least tell us."

Terry says, "Yeah, Halle is right."

"I know, right?" says Halle with a smug expression.

Mallory is shown with Lizzie at the dining area, they seem to be having a conversation.

Lizzie grabs Mallory by her jacket and starts shaking her, "Do you understand Mal, I miss my sisters!"

"I know, Lizzie," says Mallory, "But there's nothing I can do... Wait, aren't they your cousins?"

Lizzie smiles, "They're like sisters to me," she says.

Tears start forming on Mallory's eyes, "I can be your sister, Liz," she says hugging her.

"Thank you Mal," says Lizzie. She blows her nose in a napkin and says, "You are awesome, girl. What can I do for you?"

Mallory is shown in the confessional, "This is one of those moments when the little devil and the little angel on my shoulders start arguing. I didn't know what to do, but I hope I did the right thing," she smiles sweetly.

"Yes, there is," says Mallory to Lizzie.

Lizzie smiles, "I'll be more than pleased to help my new sister," she says.

Mallory smirks and says, "Join my alliance."

Lizzie is shown in the confessional, "I don't like alliances, they're evil. But since Mallory is being such a good friend to me, why not? Nothing will go wrong... Right?" she smiles nervously.

A loudspeaker is shown as Chef's voice echoes through it, "Meet me at the deck bar now, the challenge has to be over before Chris is awake."

The contestants are shown at the deck with Chef. Besides them there are two small tiki bars.

Chef says, "Listen up, Chris is sick in his bed and you are in charge of making him the best breakfast you can. You have to prepare something for him to eat, and a beverage. Chris will judge your breakfast and the best one wins. I'm out, those bathrooms aren't cleaned on their own," he leaves the deck.

On the Clam Chowders bar, Mallory asks, "Any suggestions?"

Lizzie says, "I have experience in making oatmeal muffins, we can use some of it."

"As for the beverage," says Carlos, "I was thinking of some sort of tropical juice."

Meredith looks under a shelf, "I'm looking for some kind of tropical fruit," she gets a fruit from underneath it, "Oh, we have mango."

"That's perfect!" says Patricia, "Anything else we need?"

"Chicken!" says Anamaria.

Mallory says, "No, we can't use chicken in this recipe."

"Yes you can! I want chicken!" insists Anamaria.

Mathew says, "Of course, let's make a mango chicken juice," he winks at Mallory.

"Yeah, of course," says Mallory, "We need something different."

Mathew is shown in the confessional, "I hope Mallory understood that I just said that to shut Anamaria's mouth. She is not dumb enough to think that I wanted a mango chicken juice, is she?"

The Soaring Seagulls are shown in their bar.

Ryan suggests, "We could make an omelet, I'm sure Chris would like it."

Cleo says, "I don't have better ideas, so let's go with the omelet."

Xavier puts his box close to him and says, "We need ham in the omelet."

"I don't think this is a good idea," says Dominic.

Xavier glares at him, "Are you questioning the box?"

"Yes I am, problem?" says Dominic.

"Too bad the rest of the team agrees with the box," says Xavier monotonously. He glares at his team and asks, "Right?"

Many nodding heads are seen, as well as several 'of course' are heard from his team,.

"I thought so," says Xavier.

"Ham it is," says a visibly upset Dominic.

On the Clam Chowder's bar, Meredith and Patricia are sitting in stools while peeling mangoes, "What a fun job, right Pat?" asks the brunette.

Patricia sighs, "Sure."

"I was being sarcastic," says Meredith.

Patricia gasps, "You can be sarcastic? I thought this was a quality only for smart people."

Meredith looks confused at Patricia, "Thanks?"

"Sorry," says Patricia, "What kind of friend am I? Let's talk about things friends would talk about!"

"Like..." says Meredith waiting for an answer.

Patricia taps her chin until her eyes perk up, "Like plotting Carlos' painful demise!"

"Okay," says Meredith, "We will totally vote him out today."

Patricia sighs, "It's not that easy, Meredith. First we need enough people to vote for him."

"Like who?" asks Meredith.

Patricia says, "Well, Lance and Mathew think Carlos is cool, and Mallory is a fan of the douchebag."

Meredith frowns, "Watch your words, lady!"

"Okay," says Patricia, "There's Louie, Lizzie and that nutcase we call Anamara."

"Anamaria," Meredith points out.

"Whatever," says Patricia, "We need at least two of them on our side."

Meredith stops peeling the mango and pumps her fist, "Heck yeah!"

Patricia says, "That's right!" she pumps her fist and accidentally pokes Meredith's eye with a knife.

Meredith screams in pain while falling from the stool she was sitting on.

Patricia stands up and knees down next to Meredith, "Are you okay?" she says, worried.

The scene changes to the Soaring Seagulls.

Inna is shown slicing ham for the omelet, "Are you sure we should use ham in that omelet? What if Chris is Jewish?"

"What makes you think Chris is Jewish?" asks Terry.

"His name is McLain," says Inna, "Isn't everyone named McLain Jewish?"

Cleo raises an eyebrow, "First, where do you learn all this nonsesnse? Second, It's McLean, not MacLain, get your facts right."

"Sorry," says Inna, "I'm not a Total Drama superfan."

Cleo scoffs, "Neither am I," she shifts her eyes back and forth.

Halle steps into the group and says, "Hey, we still have to decide on a beverage."

Lana timidly raises her hand, "What about iced tea?"

"I suggest milkshake," says Terry.

"Hmm," says Halle, "I love me some milkshake."

Terry laughs, "I know, right? Who doesn't?"

Inna says, "Are you sure you want milkshake? It's so... Unhealthy."

Terry says, "Maybe we could change it," she looks at Halle, "What do you think, Halley dawggy dawg?" she says trying to sound cool.

"I think we should stick with the milkshake," says Halle.

Terry looks at Inna and says, "Sorry, I really think we should go with the milkshake."

"But you..." says Inna. She sighs, "Nevermind. Me and Foreman will prepare the milkshake." she leaves the area.

Halle rolls her eyes, "Because we totally need two people to make milkshake."

At the Clam Chowder's bar, Carlos, Lance and Mathew are waiting in front of an oven.

"Ahem," Lance clears his throat.

Mathew looks upwards, "Nice weather, huh?" he asks.

The three men exchange looks until all three break the silence at the same time, "Who are we voting off now?"

"You first," says Lance, pointing to Mathew.

"Ladies first," says Mathew bowing to Lance.

Lance asks, "What did you just call me!?"

"Boys, boys, boys," says Carlos, trying to calm them down.

Lance sings, "We like boys in ca-ars, boys boys boys, buy us drinks in ba-ars."

Mathew raises an eybrow and asks, "What was that?"

"Come on," says Lance, "I'm not here to break all the stereotypes or any crap like that, I'm here for the million dollar prize."

Carlos interrupts the boys, "Oh look, the muffins are done."

"Errm," says Lance, "No, they aren't."

Carlos says, "Ding!" he puts a hand behind his ear and says with a smile, "Oh did you hear that:? They are done!" Carlos opens the oven and gets the muffins, "Is the juice ready!?" he asks.

Meredith comes with a bandage on here eye. She is carrying a big glass of juice, "Yes sir!" she says smiling proudly.

At the Soaring Seagulls bar, Inna is standing in front of a blender, "Foreman, what is taking you so long!?" she asks.

Foreman's voice is heard off camera, "I can't find soy ice cream like you told me to!"

"Why not!?" asks Inna.

Foreman replies, "I don't think any sane person would buy soy ice cream, I will get this strawberry one, you better accept it!"

Inna sighs, "Whatever, I just think we should make something else for him to drink, milkshakes are so unhealthy."

Foreman returns with an ice cream box, "Health is so mainstream," he places the box net to a sink.

"Since when you are a hipster?" asks Inna.

"I'm not," says Foreman, "But my students say that all the time. It's quite fun, actually," he chuckles.

Inna's eyes widen, "Wow, you expressed happiness? I have to document that."

"Shut up," says Foreman as he puts ice cream balls in the blender.

Inna fills the blender with milk, closes it and turns it on. When it's done, she fills a glass with milkshake and puts a straw in it.

"My work here is done," says Foreman before leaving.

Inna suspisciously shifts her eyes. The blonde smiles wide as she spills all the milkshake down the sink, "Now, for the real beverage our sick Chris needs..." she pulls some vegetables from the cupboard and heads to the fridge.

The contestants and Chef are shown together at the deck, Foreman and Carlos are carrying covered trays.

Chef says, "Chris might be waking up right now, make sure to greet him properly upon arriving at his cabin."

Lance says, "It's just Chris, not Queen Elizabeth."

"Whatever," says Chef, "You can follow me to Chris' cabin, also known as The Ultimate Luxury King Cabin."

"Modest," says Cleo.

Chef enters the hallway, "Follow me!" he commands.

The scene cuts to Chef opening a huge purple and golden door, "Chris, here is your breakfast!"

An ill-looking Chris, who is lying on a luxurious bed, coughs before spitting in a bucket on the floor.

Mathew smiles and gives two thumbs-up, "Looking good."

Chris coughs and says, "Let's get this over with," he coughs again, "I want to sleep."

Chef says, "First, we have the Clam Chowder's meal."

Carlos approaches Chris and takes the cover off the tray, "Oatmeal muffins and mango juice," he says.

Chris takes a bit of a muffin, he chews for some seconds and says, "A bit undercooked, but good."

Lizzie is shown in the confessional, "Woooooohoooooo!" she cheers, "My muffins are the best of the best! Too bad some brat didn't let them in the oven for enough time."

Chris takes a sip from the mango juice and says, "Really nice. Great job, Chowders! Let's see if the Seagulls can beat that."

Foreman walks towards Chris and removes the cover from his tray, a ham omelet is sitting there next to a dark purple liquid in a glass. Foreman furrows his eyebrows.

Foreman is shown in the confessional, "What the heck did you do, Inna?"

The Soaring Seagulls all gasp, except Inna and Xavier. Terry turns to Inna and asks, "Err, Inna... What exactly is that?"

"Oh, it's a homemade recipe," says Inna, "It's been in my family's blood for years."

Inna is shown in the confessional, "So, you might be wondering what kind of liquid delicacy is that," the blonde says excitedly, "It's a family recipe. My mother and grandma love it, and I guess my little sister enjoys it too, we even stopped using the funnel some months ago!" Inna holds her hands together, "It consists of beet, radish and raw cow liver! Oh, and a tiny bit of peppermint! Hmmm, delicious," she licks her lips.

Chris takes a bit of the omelet, "It's pretty good, I especially love the ham."

"I told you," says Xavier monotonously.

Chris says, "Now to the juice, it looks quite beautiful. Let's see if it tastes as good."

As Chris' lips reach the straw, all members of the Soaring Seagulls except Inna and Xavier close their eyes and flinch slightly.

Chris finally takes a sip, his eyes get wide and his expression is distorted in horror, "This... Is... Delicious!"

The Soaring Seagull's members' mouths open slightly, except Inna's, who smiles proud of herself, and Xavier, who doesn't express emotions too often.

"It tastes like Heaven!" says Chris as he chugs the shake down his throat. When the host finishes, he announces, "The Soaring Seagulls win by far! I want this recipe later, by the way."

The winning team cheers as the losers sadly walk away from the cabin.

Meredith and Patricia are shown talking in their cabin as Anamaria sleeps.

"So," says Meredith, "You mean that is our only option?" she points to Anamaria.

Anamaria mumbles in her sleep, "The pickle goes in the top drawer...."

Patricia sighs, "Unfortunately, yes. I'll wake her up to discuss our plan," she pokes the sleeping Anamaria.

The eccentric lady wakes up, "What do you want?" she asks.

Patricia says uncomfortably, "I was thinking, maybe you could vote with me and my friend here?" she points to Meredith, who waves with a goofy smile.

"Maybe," says Anamaria, "Yes, yes... I will."

"But listen," says Patricia, "This alliance is a secret, you cannot tell anyone, okay?"

Anamaria says, "I got it, you can count on me! Who will we vote for?"

"Carlos," says Patricia with a smirk.

Anamaria says, "Okay, okay, I don't care about him anyway."

"Thank you very much!" says Patricia, "Meredith, thank her!"

Meredith hugs Anamaria, "Thanks buddy," she says.

Meredith is shown in the confessional, "Anamaria smells funny, I wonder what kind of cologne she uses."

Carlos, Mathew and Lance are sitting on a table at the dining area when Mallory arrives with Lizzie, "Guess what I got for you guys?" asks Mallory.

"No idea," says Mathew.

Mallory gestures towards Lizzie, "A brand new alliance member!" she says.

Carlos offers a fake smile, "Thank you, Mallory, we were really needing one more member."

"Yay!" cheers Mallory, "Did you hear that Liz? They accepted you!"

"Wooooohooooo!" cheers Lizzie, causing the boys to cringe.

Carlos is shown in the confessional, "I'm starting to question why I recruited Mallory, we did not need one more new memeber. Especially that screaming trainwreck she calls Lizzie. I guess I will have to do something about it."

"Welcome to our alliance, Lizzie," says Carlos, "As your first assignment, you have to get a glass of lemonade for us."

Lizzie says, "Okay, three glasses of lemonade coming!" she dashes out of the area.

Mallory yells, "Get one for me too!" she turns to the boys and says, "You don't need to thank me."

"Thank you?" says Lance, "We don't need that... Thing on our alliance!"

"I'm just trying to help," says Mallory, pouting.

"Okay," says Carlos, "We can deal with that issue later. Now we have to-"

Anamaria arrives at the area asking, "Do you have chicken!?"

Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Hello, free vote."

"Yes, I do," says Carlos, "But only if you vote with me."

Anamaria frowns and says, "Sorry, I can't. I already have an alliance who plans to vote you out."

Carlos' eyes widen, "Wait, what? Who?"

Anamaria says, "It's a secret, I can't tell you about this alliance."

Carlos heads to the kitchen and returns with a frozen chicken breast, "Here is your chicken, have fun."

Anamaria hugs the chicken breast and runs away yelling, "Chicken!"

Lizzie returns with four glasses of lemonade, "Here they are, Carlos," each member of the alliance gets one glass.

Carlos takes a sip of his lemonade and says, "So, you all might know who to vote for now."

The alliance members nod, except for a clueless Lizzie.

The Clam Chowders are shown at the elimination ceremony. Chris is holding a plate with eight marshmallows, "Hello, Clam Chowders," he says before coughing, "Here I have eight marshmallows for nine of you, and you already know how this works. The marshmallows go to...

As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.

"Patricia."

"Louie."

"Mathew."

"Meredith."

"Lance."

"Mallory."

Chris says, "Carlos, Anamaria, Lizzie..."

Carlos is shown with a smug smile, Anamaria is looking upwards, not caring about what's happening, and Lizzie is chewing her fingernails.

"Carlos," says Chris, "Here is your marshmallow!"

Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Damn it!"

Carlos grabs the marshmallow and starts chewing it.

"Anamaria and Lizzie," says Chris, "One of you will be the first girl voted out from S.S. Total Drama."

Chris says, "The last marshmallow goes to..."

"Lizzie." says Chris.

"I didn't need this anyway!" screams Lizzie before a marshmallow hits her in the forehead and falls to the floor.

"Wait," says Lizzie, "I get to stay?" Chris nods.

"Woooooohoooooo!" cheers Lizzie. She shifts to a sad tone, "Sorry Anamaria," she says, patting her teammate in the back.

Anamaria stays on her folding chair.

"Anamaria," says Chris, "It's time for you to go."

"Why didn't you say this earlier!" yells a grumpy Anamaria before heading to the Lifesaver of Losers.

Chris turns to the camera, "That's it for today's episode! Tune in for more alliance drama, and possibly a llama in S.S. Toatl Drama!"

"Chicken!" a scream is heard from far in the ocean.

Chapter 5 - Fifth Grade Feelings
Chris is shown on the deck as several repairmen walk around, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama, Chef took over the role of host while ours truly was having some..." he stops to think, "Issues. I don't know exactly what happened until the teams arrived with my breakfast. The food was better than I expected and the Soaring Seagulls won thanks to Inna's delicious purple shake," Chris taps his chin, "I still need the recipe for that. But drinks aside, what will happen today on S.S. Total Drama!"

The Soaring Seagulls girls' side of the cabin is shown, as Halle wakes up due to loud banging noises, "What kind of joke is that?" asks Halle, "Not cool, bro."

All the other girls wake up too. "I can tell," says Terry, "I spent the whole night awake."

Halle asks, "What did you do the whole night?"

"I was writing," says Terry, "It's my new novel." Lana's eyes widen, "Wow, awesome! Can't wait to read it."

Terry says, "You will have to wait quite a bit," she laughs, "I'm still on the second chapter."

"Seems cool," says Halle.

Terry says, "Do you want to help me with it?"

"Sure," says Halle nonchalantly.

Terry smiles wide, "That's awesome! Have I mentioned you are awesome, Halley?"

"I think so," says Halle, "But it's never enough."

"Oh, Halley, you are awesome," says Terry as she and Halle leave the cabin with the former's notebook.

Lana stares at the door with her mouth slightly open. She lays back into her bed, visibly upset.

Cleo says, "Yeah, looks like it's juts me and you, Inna," she looks around, "Inna? Where did you go, girl?"

Inna is shown in the deck, in a wooden floor near the hot tub. Foreman soon arrives.

"It's about time," says Inna, "I you are three minutes late."

Foreman gives Inna a death stare.

"Relax," says the blonde, "I was just kidding."

Foreman asks grumpily, "What's today's exercise, my little friend?"

Inna smiles wide, "Go get your sweatband because it's aerobics day!" she says excitedly.

Foreman takes a sweatband from his pocket and puts it on, "I am ready," he says

"Okay," says Inna, "We will start with jumping jacks. Do it like me," Inna starts performing jumping jacks with excellence.

Foreman says, "Hmm, are you sure it's safe."

"Of course it's safe," says Inna, "What's the worst thing that could happen?"

Foreman performs one jumping jack and breaks through the wooden floor upon touching the ground. With his head sticking from the hole, the burly man gives Inna another death glare.

"Wait just a minute, I will get some help!" Inna says before sprinting away. Foreman sighs, stuck in the hole.

The scene cuts to Chris in the dock next to a huge crane driven by an intern, the crane lifts Foreman from the hole and places him on the floor.

"Thank you very much," says Inna. She turns to Foreman and smiles, "See, eveything went just fine."

"Sure," says Foreman.

Chris says, "Try not to do this when we leave the docks, I can't get a crane in the middle of the ocean."

"Yes sir!" says Inna. Foreman sighs again.

The Clam Chowder girls are at the ship's hot tub.

Meredith is splashing water at a nonchalant Patricia, "I'm bored," says the blonde.

"Oooh," says Mallory, "Let's rank boys!"

Lizzie says, "Nah, I'm too old for that."

"Aww, Liz," says Mallory, "Where is your young and free spirit?"

Lizzie says, "I can be young and free, but I am certainly not a creep to rank boys who could be my grandsons."

"Makes sense," says Mallory, "You can always be on the sidelines listening to the youth's opinion."

Lizzie is shown in the confessional, "Youth's opinion? Who does she think she is?" she stops and thinks for a moment, "Oh yeah, she is my new sister, I can forgive the girl."

Mallory says, "Louie is on the bottom, he scares me."

"Agreed," says Patricia

Meredith says, "Shouldn't Lance be at the bottom? He is unreachable." Mallory agrees.

"What do you mean by that?" asks Patricia.

Mallory says, "Well, let's say he is not into girls."

"And just because of that he will be less handsome?" asks Patricia, clearly offended.

"No," says Mallory, "By any means. We just see no reason to rank him since we will never get him," she laughs.

Patricia folds her arms, "Okay, fair enough."

"Wait," says Meredith, "Carlos shoudn't be in the list either, he is too old for us."

"Besides, we don't want to be mauled by Ember Jay Birch when we are out of here," adds Mallory.

Patricia says, "Plus, just the thought of kissing that comtemptible moron makes me want to throw up my breakfast." The girls look at Patricia with wide eyes.

Mallory is shown in the confessional, "I have this feeling Patricia doesn't like Carlos... maybe it's just me," she shrugs.

Lizzie says, "But that leaves you to rank just Mathew and Louie."

"True," says Meredith, "But we can always rank the guys from the other team too!"

Mallory says while filling her nails, "Fat, fat, creepy..." she thinks for a moment, "That other one is kinda cute."

"Wow," says Patricia, "The guys this season really suck."

Mallory raises a finger, "Especially Lan-"

"No jokes about that!" interrupts Patricia.

The Soaring Seagull men are shown in their cabin, except for Foreman.

Dominic leans towards Xavier and says, "Sooo... What's there in that box, buddy?"

"It's none of your business," says Xavier, monotonously.

Dominic folds his arms and looks to the side, "I didn't want to know anyway!"

"Sure," says Xavier, as calmly as ever.

Dominic is shown in the confessional, "I need to know what's in that box, I need to!" yells Dominic, "Maybe it's an incriminating evidence, maybe it's the Spectre Flute," his eyes widen, "It can even be the Supra Force Metal!"

Carlos Lance and Mathew are shown in their cabin.

"So," says Carlos, "I already know-"

He is interrupted by Chris on the loudspeaker, "Meet me at the deck for your next challenge... I guess... Yeah, that's it, I'm waiting!"

"What?" says Lance, "He didn't even let us finish our obligatory alliance discussion!"

The competitors stand besides Chris on the deck, as many interns are seen leaving the ship with tools and other peculiar objects.

Chris says, "As you can see, the interns finished working on the engine, and the ship is ready to sail!."

The cruise ship starts leaving the docks.

"It's about tme," says Lance.

And we now can travel around the world to compete in different, and hopefully more interesting challenges! But for now," says Chris, "You will have to compete in a super exciting challenge I came up with..."

Mathew asks, "Hit the host with a baseball bat?"

Chris glares at him, "No. You will compete in truth or dare!"

"Truth or dare?" says Cleo, "We're not in fifth grade anymore."

Patricia says, "Yeah, and how will you know if the person is telling the truth for sure?"

"Don't worry," says Chris, "I've got lie detectors."

Patricia raises an eyebrow, "And since when do those exist?" she says, "I mean, if they existed, do you think people would be using them for a reality show instead of using them to arrest criminals?"

"Don't question the Total Drama logic!" yells Chris, "Just accept the fact and move on," he says while getting some helmets, each attached to a small machine.

The host continues, "You will sit in a big circle and I will spin the bottle. The contestant who the bottle land on will chose between truth or dare. If he choses truth, his truthfulness will be confirmed by the lie detector. In case of a lie, the team automatically loses. Is he choses dare, the opposing team will have to think of a dare, and I will deem this dare as acceptable or not."

Patricia says, "Knowing Chris, he will deem performing a synchronized swim act with fresh water sharks as valid."

"I see you know me well, dear lady," says Chris, "But as I was saying, if you don't perform the task, your team automatically loses the challenge. Are you ready?"

The teams sit in a circle with a bottle in the middle, and Chris soon spins the bottle. It stops on Carlos, "Carlos, trutrh or dare?" asks Chris.

Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Of course I will chose dare, I will not risk exposing my alliance. I just hope my allies are smart enough to do the same."

"Dare," says Carlos, confidently.

The Soaring Seagulls huddle until Ryan steps out of it, "I dare Carlos to eat a balut."

Carlos scoffs, "I already did that on Outlaster, no big deal."

Chris says, "Ryan, how do you expect me to have a fertilized duck embryo on my cruise ship?" he laughs, "Who am I kidding? Chef has all kinds of gross foods with him!"

Ryan says, "Hey, don't insult the balut, it's delicious!"

"Suuure," Says Chris.

Chef arrives with an egg and hands it to Chris, the host hands it to Carlos and says, "Bon appetite."

Carlos cracks the egg open and eats the contents without hesitation as his team, except Patricia, cheer for him.

The scene shows the bottle spinning until it lands on Lance. Chris says, "Looks like the Clam Chowders are going again. Lance, truth or dare?"

Carlos is shown in the confessional, "If he is smart enough, he will chose dare."

"Truth," says Lance. Carlos brings his hand to his foreheard.

The Soaring Seagulls huddle again, and Cleo steps out of it.

Carlos is shown in the confessional once again, "That's it, we are screwed."

Cleo says, "Lance..." she turns to her team, "Come on, that question is just stupid, are you sure I should be the one to ask?"

Lance says, "Shout it!"

"Are you really gay or is this part of an ingenious strategy?" asks Cleo, a little embarassed.

The question makes Carlos sighs in relief.

Lance says, "I can be smart, girl, but I'm not that smart. No, it's not a strategy," the lie tetector approves his answer.

The scene cuts to the bottle spinning once again, and it lands on Xaver. The boy smirks and says, "Truth."

"Yes!" cheer the Clam Chowders plus Dominic.

The Soaring Seagulls glare at Dominic. The nerd answers, "What? I can't be the only one who wants to know."

"Okay, we don't even need to huddle for that one, " says Lance, "Xavier, what is in your box?"

The boy smirks and says monotonously, "Something that means a lot to me."

"Wait, that can't be fair!" protests Mathew. The lie detector approves the answer.

Chris says, "Well, I guess it is."

Mallory starts, "But-"

"Deal with it!" barks Chris.

The scene cuts to Chris spinning the bottle, and it lands on Halle.

"Oh no!" shouts Terry.

Lana hugs Terry to comfort her, but the former has a hint of a smirk on her face.

Halle says, "I chose dare. I can take anything you throw at me!"

Lana appears in the confessional, looking disappointed, "I wish I had a heavy object at that moment."

After huddling, Mallory steps out of the group and says, "We dare you to strip down in front of everyone and mimic a monkey while covered in kitchen oil."

Cleo says, "Ugh! I've already seen enough of Halle."

Halle laughs at Mallory, "That's easy. You should know me better, princess."

Chris says, "Okay, but we have to take all the men out of sight, I don't want another legal action," Chef arrives at the deck, drops a gallon of kitchen oil and a banana, and leaves.

Chris blindfolds himself and says, "Start!"

Halle takes her clothes off and starts rubbing herself with kitchen oil.

Cleo covers her eyes and says, "I did not come here to see that."

"Eww," says Meredith, "This is totally disgusting, right Pat?" she nudges Patricia. The blonde fakes gagging.

Inna rushes towards the cameraman to block the camera and says, "Stop filming that, it's disgusting!" several monkey noises are heard from behind her.

The cameraman's voice is heard from off screen, "Don't worry, it will be censored."

Inna yells, "Chris, make that person stop filming!"

"No way," the blindfolded Chris says, "I can already see the ratings."

Inna says, "Don't be silly, you are blinfolded."

A loud whistle-like sound is heard, causing Inna to stop blocking the camera.

"Halle did it, she completed the challenge," says Chris, "Let's spin the bottle once again and hope someone else loses their dignity!" the host spins the bottle.

Halle says, "Just for your information, my dignity is completely fine."

The bottle stops on Xavier again, "Ooh,' says Chris, "Looks like Xavier is out of luck."

"Truth," says Xavier.

Chris smirks, "Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you all the twist. If the bottle lands on the same person twice, that person has to chose the option they did not chose the first time."

Xavier remains silent.

"Oh, great!" says Halle, "I think you broke him."

"So, Clam Chowders," says Chris, "What's the dare you will challenge Xavier with?"

Carlos says, "That one is obvious. Xavier, we dare you to show us what is inside your box."

"Yeah!" says Dominic, causing his team to glare at him once again.

Xavier opens a sinister smile and tightly clings to the box, "Never!"

Chris announces, "That means that the Soaring-"

The host is interrupted by a screaming Dominic who rushes towards Xavier, the nerd tackles the sinister boy to the ground and the box falls with him, "Someone, get my box before him!" Yells Xavier on the ground.

Lana runs and gets the box from the ground before Dominic can do so. The overweight man gets up freeing Xavier, as the latter gets the box from Lana and says, "Thank you."

"It's not over!" screams Dominic while rushing once again towards Xavier. This time, the tackle makes the boy's box fly from his hands. We can only have a glimpse of its purple contents before it falls into the ocean.

A tear is seen running down Xavier's face as he says while shaking, "How could you bastard dare to touch my box? Now it's gone! Futsch!" the small-framed boy takes a knife from somewhere under his garments and runs away.

The competitors and Chris stare at the scene wide-eyed until Halle breaks the silence, "What are you waiting for? Let's follow him!" everyone follows Halle's orders.

Lana is shown in the confessional, "For the record, I followed them because I was worried about Xavier, not because Halle told me to do so."

The group arrives at the side of the ship, where the elimination ceremony takes place.

Xavier is standing in a lifesaver boat with his knife, he cuts the ropes that support the small boat and screams loudly while falling to the ocean, "You will regret once you feel the wrath of the ancestral spirits!"

Terry's eye widen as she says, "Did he say..." she faints, only to be caugh in Halle's arms.

"Whoa," says Ryan, "Great move right there!"

The competitors start applauding Halle for catching Terry, while Lana just rolls her eyes to mask her sadness.

Chris announces, "Despite losing one member due to this evening's incident, the Soaring Seagulls still lost the challenge and will have to attend to the elimination ceremony tonight. McLean out!"

The host mumbles to himself while walking away, "I hope this doesn't leave me with another lawsuit."

Cleo glares at Dominic, "Guess whose fault is it?"

"Aww, seriously?" asks Dominic.

The Soaring Seagull girls are shown in their cabin trying to bring Terry to.

Lana lightly slaps Terry's face, "Hey Terry, wake up, dear."

Lana is shown in the confessional, "What if I can bring Terry to? I will be known as the girl who brought VelvetCupcakes to all around MysteryINC.com! Eeeeeeee!" she squeals.

Inna throws cold water at Terry's face, to no use, "Darn!" says the blonde;

Halle says, "Here, let me try," she lightly slaps Terry's face only for her to come to.

"Terry!" cheer the girls at the same time.

"What happened?" asks a clueless Terry.

Halle says, "I brought you to, no need to thank me."

"Oh, okay," says Terry, "But why did I pass out in first place?"

Lana says, "Oh, you passed out when Xavier said something about feeling the wrath of the ancestral spirits," Terry faints again, resulting in the girls glaring at Lana.

Lana is shown in the confessional, "Oh no. Now I will be known as the girl who made VelvetCupcakes faint all around MisteryINC.com," she starts crying.

The Soaring Seagulls are shown at the elimination ceremony, and Terry is back on her feet. Chris is holding a plate with seven marshmallows, "Hello, Soaring Seagulls," he says, "What a nice afternoon for us, I'm sure you will love losing two members in one day. Here I have seven marshmallows for eight of you, and you already know how this works. The marshmallows go to..."

"Ryan."

"Halle."

"Cleo."

"Inna."

"Foreman."

"Lana."

Chris says, "I have one marshmallow on my plate. Dominic, you pretty much cause all the disaster today."

"Haters gonna hate," says Dominic.

"Terry," says Chris, "You always faint upon the mention of the ancestral spirits."

Terry faints on her folding chair, causing both Halle and Lana to get up and fan her with hand fans.

Chris says, "The last marshmallow goes to..."

"Terry." says Chris before throwing a marshmallow at the unconscious girl.

"Looks like I lost," says Dominic.

Cleo says, "Yeah, it took long enough. Now get out!"

Dominic walks to the Lifesaver of Losers and says, "I might have been eliminated, but you all just lost The Game!"

"Grow up," says Halle.

"Get a life," says Cleo.

Dominic blows a kiss, "I know you love me," the lifesaver descends into the ocean.

Chris turns to the camera, "Well, that was a long day, but we will manage to edit it all in just forty five minutes," he says, "What country will we visit first? Will the cruise ship be able to get there without breaking? And was Xavier's threat true, or just a bunch of nonsense? Find out next time, on S.S. Total Drama!"

Chapter 6 - Almost a First Destination
Chris is shown standing in a gorgeous, yet crowded beach, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama, we had a classic truth or dare challenge. Halle lost her dignity, Xavier lost his sanity, and the Soaring Seagulls lost The Game, thanks to Dominic. Xavier left the competition in a peculiar way after he lost his precious box, and Dominic was-"

An overweight middle-aged lady who is laying on the beach interrupts Chris by screaming in a foreign language, "Cala a boca! Eu tô tentando aproveitar minhas férias!"

Chris says, "I'm sorry ma'am, I don't speak Spanish," he shifts his eyes and clears his throat, "Dominic was voted off thanks to his curiosity regarding Xavier's box's contents, which led to Xavier quitting the competition. Who will be elimi-"

The overweight lady throws a chicken wing at Chris' face and says with a strong accent, "Shut up!"

Chris whispers, "Who will be eliminated next, on S.S. Total Drama?"

The Clam Chowder girls are shown waking up in their cabin.

"Good morning everyone! Good morning everyone!" sings Lizzie.

Patricia rolls her eyes, "I think we already had that conversation."

Meredith says, "Patricia, be happy! We won yseterday and I'm sure our day will be perfect today."

As if on cue, Louie opens the door of their cabin and is about to hug Mallory.

Mallory is shown in the confessional, "What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?"

Louie hugs her and says, "Oh, Mallory, you are so pretty, you are incredible, you are so freaking awesome!"

"Thanks," says mallory blushing.

Patricia says, "Well, at least he didn't call you sexy this time," she laughs.

"Don't remind me," says Mallory.

Louie hugs Mallory again, "No problem, my bunnycake," he lets go of her leaves, "Bye lovies!" he says.

"Bye Louie," say the girls at the same time.

"Creep," says Mallory.

"Weirdo," says Patricia.

Meredith says, "Aww, I think he is kind of cute, like a kitten. A kitten who doesn't-" a loud noise, similar to one when ships are departing, interrupts Meredith.

"What was that?" asks Lizzie, "Did we arrive?"

Chris' voice is heard on the loudspeaker, "We have arrived at our first destination, unfortunately we are having some issues."

"Chris always has issues," says Patricia rolling her eyes.

The Soaring Seagulls are shown on a table at the dining area.

"I wonder what is our first destination," says Lana.

Halle says, "If you are that curious, just go to the deck and check if you recognize the location."

"True," says Lana, "But I'm not going to leave the table just for that, I can wait."

"I can go for you," says Ryan with a smile.

Lana smiles too, "Really? I would love to! But... Your food will get cold."

"Don't worry," says Ryan, "I'm eating salad, I don't mind if it's cold," the young man gets up and heads to the deck.

Inna looks at Foreman's plate and notices some pasta, "Hey Foreman!" she screams, causing some people on the table to jump."

Foreman says while looking at his plate, "What?"

"Shouldn't you be eating salad too?" says Inna, "Like we had decided?"

Foreman looks up from his plate and says, "This is pasta salad."

Inna stares at him for some seconds and says, "Touché."

Inna appears in the confessional, "I should have been more specific... Eh, I only have mysef to blame," she sighs.

Ryan returns to the dining area and sits at the table, "I guess we are at somewhere tropical, Lana."

"Darn," says Lana, "I hate heat, I wanted to go somewhere cold. Thank you anyway, Ryan."

Ryan smiles and says, "You're welcome."

"Hey, Ryan," says Cleo. Ryan turns to the redhead, "Get me some mustard, please?" she asks.

Ryan smiles and says, "Of course, buddy," he gets up and heads to the kitchen to get mustard.

Cleo chuckles, "So polite, yet so gullible. That guy has a good heart," she says.

"I gotta give him that," mumbles Foreman.

Halle says, "Eh, my boyfriend Terrence is better."

Terry says, "You have a boyfriend? Wow, that guy must be so lucky."

"He is," says Halle, "We are one of those gaming couples, you know?"

Cleo looks interested, "Oh, so you are into games?"

Halle says, "Yeah, we have a videogame. I miss our Skyrim nights together."

"Oh my gosh, seriously?" says Cleo, surprised, "You're awsomer than awesome! I wish my boyfriend was into videogames like yours. He is just a big book nerd..." she looks to the camera, "No offense, sweetie."

Lana is shown in the confessional, baffled, "I can't believe it. Every time she proves to be better and better," she cries a little, "I have no chance... Absolutely no chance."

The contestants are all shown on deck with Chris, "We are about to leave our cruise ship for the first time, in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil."

Meredith says, "Ooh, I watched a movie about that city once. Do you know that they have monkeys who rob people on the streets?"

"Forget the monkeys," says Mallory, "There are real people who rob others on the street. Chris, take me to a first world country!"

Chris says, "Too bad, princess, we are already at the harbor," everyone leaves the cruise ship and arrive at the harbor, which is quite crowded.

Chris directs to the contestants, "We have a bus that will take you to your first challenge, on-" the host's celphone rings, interrupting him.

"Hello," says Chris on the phone, "What!? No problem, I did worse things in past seasons... What do you mean safety? No one will stop me from... Wait, twenty thousand? In cash? Deal!"

The host directs to the contestants again, "I'm sorry to tell you, but-"

"We have been eliminated from the race?" says Patricia with a smirk.

"What? That doesn't even make sense," says Chris, "I'm sorry to tell you that the challenge in Rio is canceled. Apparently, a group of criminals escaped from prision and are hiding somewhere near the harbor."

Lance says, "Isn't Rio the author's hometown? I thought he would portray it positively."

A young brunette dressed in purple clothes says, "Hey! I'm the only one who can break the fourth wall here!"

"No one cares," Mathew scoffs.

"Rude!" she replies before turning her back and leaving.

Chris says, "As I was saying, the challenge is canceled and you all should head back to the cruise ship. We will discuss things there later."

Carlos, Mathew and Lance are shown in the Clam Chowder's boys cabin.

"I'm glad the challenge was cancelled," says Lance, "We almost didn't have our strategical discussion twice in a row."

Carlos says, "We need Mallory, she needs to know we are cutting her sister's head off."

"Good," says Mathew, "I couldn't stand that yelling creature."

Carlos says, "Yeah, that big-mouthed granny has to go, she is just the kind who would spill the beans."

At that moment, Mallory and Lizzie enter the cabin, "Hello, lovies!" says Lizzie.

"Hello, girls," says Carlos, "We were discussing alliance matters."

"Oooooh," says Lizzie, "Who will we vote out next?"

Mathew says, "Well, actually-"

"We haven't decided!" says Carlos, "It's a very tough decision."

Lance says, "Yeah, our options are three stupid people;"

"I say we should vote Louie," suggests Mallory, "He's creepy."

Carlos is shown in the confessional, "I would vote for Louie, but he seems just the kind of guy who could be easily convinced to do things... He might be useful later."

Carlos says, "I don't know, Mallory. We should vote strategically, not the people we have personal issues with."

"What about Patricia?" suggests Lizzie.

"Who?" asks a clueless Carlos.

Mathew says. "Blonde chick in grey sweater. Quit that challenge..."

"Oh!" says Carlos, "I forgot she existed," he laughs.

Lizzie says, "There is Meredith. She isn't the brightest bulb."

Lance says, "But that makes her not a-"

"Okay," interrupts Carlos, "We will vote for her. Goodbye ladies!" the girls leave the cabin.

Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Pfft, do you really think we will vote for Meredith? Lizzie will be gone today, but Mallory can't find that out at any costs."

Meredith and Patricia are shown in their cabin.

Meredith says, "So, who will we vote next?"

"And I thought I was the pessimist," says Patricia, "We haven't lost the challenge... Yet."

"See?" says Meredith, "Pessimist."

"Whatever," says Patricia, "But it's obvious it's Carlos. Who else is as disgusting, obnoxious, and-"

Chris' voice on the loudspeaker interrupts Patricia, "Meet me at the deck for the next challenge! Preferably fast, I don't have all day."

The contestants are shown on the deck with Chris, besides him there are two large crates.

The host says, "Welcome to today's challenge. Inside those crates you will find all kinds of fabric and other accessories. Your challenge is to create costumes for a small carnival parade, obviously without floats, because they don't fit on the crusie ship. Each parade will have a theme, and the team with the best parade wins immunity. Oh, and one member of each team will be the announcer, who will tell me the details behind the costumes. You can start now!"

Foreman and Ryan start opening their crate, "Want some help there?" asks Ryan.

"No thanks," says Foreman. He punches a hole through the crate and rips it open as Ryan stares with wide eyes.

On the Clam Chowders, the guys are having trouble with opening the crate, "Ugh, why don't they give us crowbars?" asks Lance.

Carlos says, "You can let us deal with the physical part, we will leave the clothes designing part for you."

"What do you mean by that?!" asks Lance.

Mathew gets in front of Lance, "Come on, he didn't mean it," he says.

Lance sighs, "Okay, but next time I'll go with violence."

"Do what you want," says Mathew before joining Carlos to help him open the crate.

The Soaring Seagulls are deciding their theme.

"What can we do?" asks Terry.

Lana smiles, 'I have a great idea," she says, "Our theme should be mystery novels!"

Cleo rolls here eyes, "Wow, didn't see that coming."

"I know right?" says Inna cluelessly.

Terry says, "Well, I like the theme, it's just my area."

"So we can work together!" say Halle and Lana at the same time.

Terry smiles and says, "You both can work with me, let's go decide the costumes while the other people create them."

The Clam Chowders are shown thinking of a theme for their parade.

Carlos says, "So, any ideas? I can't think of anything."

Mallory says, "I can't think either, Carlos..." she stares at him for a moment, "I got it! Let's do an Outlaster themed parade!"

"I will make the costumes," says Lizzie, "You can count on me when it comes to arts and crafts!"

Carlos says, "Okay, but first we have to decide who is going to be who."

"I'm Sundra Days-Twigz!" says Patricia.

Lance points to Louie, "He can be Felipe Shippard." he says.

Louie replies, "Says Dalton Crumble wannabe."

"Wannabe?" says Lance, "I am a hundred percent original, but I can see you share the man boobs with him!"

Louie is about to reply, but his eyes start tearing up and he runs away crying.

Lance says, "That was his reaction? I can't wait to see how he will react when he finds out what he will have to wear," he laughs.

On the Soaring Seagulls, Lana, Terry and Halle are deciding the costumes.

Lana says, "Terry, you should definitely be be Agatha Christie!"

"Why, thank you," says Terry, flattered, "What do you think, Halle?"

"Totally, yo," says Halle.

Terry says, "I know which role would fit you guys, Halle can be Sherlock Holmes and Lana will be Watson!"

"Great idea," says Halle, "All his badassness fits me!"

Lana is shown in the confessional with a fake moustache and formal clothes, "Of course I had to be the butt-kisser and Halle had to be the oh-so-awesome Sherlock Holmes. But I will still admire Terry and her incredible work no matter what," her eye twitches.

On the Clam Chowders, Lance is shown sewing poorly next to Lizzie, "I can't believe Carlos made me do that, and those morons agreed with him!" he complains.

Lizzie turns to him, "You just called me a moron."

"Oopsies," says Lance, "Well, don't think you aren't," Lizzie ignores him.

Lance calls his team's attention, "Okay, Chowders, let me see if I got this straight!"

Louie giggles and says, "Straight."

"Oh, shut up watermelon boy!" Lance says pointing to Louie's slightly oversized buttocks, "Okay, let me get things straight! Mathew, Mallory, Lizzie and Meredith still need clothes, right?"

Patricia says, "Yeah, and you already did mine, yoursa and Louie's?"

"Sure, I'll sew the others," he joins Lizzie in the sewing machine and tosses a bunch of fabric on her, "Here, have fun," he leans on his chair and pretends to sleep.

Lance is shown in the confessional, "I don't want to sew, Carlos made me do it. So I just gave the things I had to sew to Lizzie, I'm sure she can handle it, but if she doesn't, I'm sure I'm not going home."

Chris, Chef and an unknown bearded man with a beanie are shown behind a table on the deck.

Chris says, "Now announcing the first parade, it's the Soaring Seagulls, with the theme Mystery Novels!"

Some typical music from Rio starts playing as Foreman wobbles of the ship's hallway dressed as a book, right next is Inna, who is dressed as a pen. Chris raises an eyebrow.

Inna is shown in the confessional dressed as a pen, "We were running out of costumes, okay? Besides, they totally fit the theme, they even fit Foreman!"

Ryan and Terry come out of the hallway now, Ryan has a big moustache and formal clothes and Terry is wearing a big hat, a blouse with a tie, and a sweater over it.

Cleo, who is on the sidelines with a microphone, announces, "Here we have famous mystery novel writers, Agatha Christie and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle!" the judges applaud, "And right behind them come Conan Doyle's famous characters Sherlock Holmes and Watson!" she continues.

Halle steps out with a superior look on her face while smoking a fake pipe, she is wearing formal clothes. Behind her, we can see Lana with a fake moustache, formal clothes and a frown on her face.

The judges discuss before revealing their score, Chris gives an eight, Chef gives an eight and the unknown man gives a four.

"What the heck? A four?" says Cleo, "I don't even know who that man is!"

Chris says, "Oh, this is José... Or at least I think that is his name. It's a hobo I found near the beach while I was filming the recap."

"The book is on the table," says the hobo with a very strong accent.

Cleo brings her hand to her forehead before the scene cuts to Chris announcing the next team, "And here we have the Clam Chowders with their really original theme, Outlaster!"

Mathew comes out wearing a blue button-up shirt, he stops near the judges and says, "I am Geoff Post, your host for today, and we will now know our contestants for this season. Outlasters ready? Go!"

Meredith comes out of the hallway with her curly hair untied, she is wearing a tiger top and a jeans skirt. Mathew announces, "From season ten, Stefani LeMaigre!"

Patricia comes out wearing a cap, an orange tank top and khaki shorts, "Here we have Sundra Days-Twigz from season seven!" announces Mathew.

Lance walks out of the hallway wearing a green t-shirt and shorts. Mathew announces, "And here is Dalton Crumble, infamous villain from season twenty-four! And he has something to say to us," Mathew puts the microphone near Lance's mouth.

Lance says with no emotion, "You can quit now, or jump into that fire."

Mathew says, "Ooh, I'm scared, that was very convincing," Lance flips Mathew off.

Mallory is the next to come out of the hallway, she is wearing only a purple bikini, "Our next contestant is season twenty-five's Angela Triton!"

The hobo on the desk stares at Mallory creepily and jumps out of the table, only to be caugh by Chef, "Nu-uh, she is too young for you," Chef says as the hobo looks down sadly.

Matthew announces, "Now for the grand finale, we have the most realistic costume yet, it's Kentucky Carlos!" Carlos comes out of the hallway being carried by Lizzie, who is wearing a blond wig and a pink and black bikini, and Louie, who is wearing only pink loose boxer briefs. In Carlos' hands there is a huge light-orange flag with 'Mexilhao Tribe' written on it.

Mathew says, "Oh, and the much less important Andressa Elkeboh and Felipe Shippard.."

Lizzie and Louie wave, but Louie's loose boxer briefs fall off.

"Oh my God, what is that?!" asks Chris, horrified.

Chef covers his eyes, "Tell me when they are pulled up again."

The creepy hobo just keeps staring at the naked Louie.

Louie, who is so embarassed his cheeks are red, desperately tries to pull his boxers up, dropping Carlos to the ground.

"Watch out dumbass!" yells Carlos.

Louie runs away crying, "I'm sorry Carl, I'm sorry team!"

Lizzie tries to carry Carlos on her shoulders while Mathew stares at the scene awkwardly and says, "That's it... I think."

The hobo claps with enthusiasm while Chris and Chef remain silent. Chris gives a four, Chef gives a five and José gives a ten.

The host announces, "And the winners are the Soaring Seagulls!" the winning team cheers.

"Clam Chowders," says Chris, "Meet you at the Tribal Council- I mean, elimination ceremony. Good luck getting rid of a member."

Meredith and Patricia are shown in the hot tub.

Patricia says, "See? I told you we were losing the challenge."

"Aww, Patricia, maybe it were your negative vibes that made us lose," says Meredith.

"Ah, come on," says Patricia, "Negative vibes? You are smarter than that."

Meredith says, "Lighten up, girl!"

"Say what you want," says Patricia, "But that doesn't change the fact we are voting someone out today."

"And who will it be?" asks Meredith.

Patricia says, "Well, no matter how miserably Louie failed today, we are voting Carlos off," she punches her open hand.

"Just us two?" asks Meredith.

"No," says Patricia, "We can convince Louie, he is in danger tonight."

The girls get out of the hot tub and head to their cabin, but find Louie on the hallway.

"Oh, we were looking for you," says Meredith.

Louie smiles wide, "Oh hi Meredith, nice swimsuit you got there! Oh, and Patricia, your hair looks great when it's wet!"

"Thank you dear," says Meredith, "But we wanted something from you tonight."

Louie smiles confidently, "Really?" he asks.

"Yeah," says Patricia, "Could you vote for Carlos with us?"

Louie scratches the back of his head and says, "Err, I'm sorry girls, but I can't."

"Why can't you?" asks Meredith.

Louie says, "Oh, I think I hear someone calling me, see you girls at the elimination ceremony!" he says before sprinting away nervously.

Patricia looks at Meredith and sighs, "Looks like it's just you and me again," Meredith nods.

The Clam Chowders are shown at the elimination ceremony. Chris is holding a plate with seven marshmallows, "Hello, Clam Chowders," he says, "Here I have seven marshmallows for eight of you, and you already know how this works. The marshmallows go to..."

As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.

"Mallory."

"Mathew."

"Patricia."

"Meredith."

"Lance."

"Carlos."

Both Louie and Lizzie look extremelly nervous.

Chris says, "I have one marshmallow on my plate, and two of you sitting in front of me. Louie or Lizzie, one of those L-names will be leaving S.S. Total Drama tonight, and the last marshmallow goes to..."

"Louie." says Chris before throwing a marshmallow to the boy, who now looks relieved.

Lizzie knees down on the floor and screams dramatically, "Whyyyyyyyyyyy!"

Chris says, "I don't know, but it's time for you to go."

Lizzie boards the Lifesaver of Losers while crying hysterically, she stops crying and looks at Mallory, "Win for me sister!"she starts sobbing as the lifesaver boat descends into the ocean.

Chris turns to the camera, "And that was one more episode, I hope you enjoyed the three seconds and a half of Rio de Janeiro we could show to you. Which country will we visit next? Will Meredith and Patricia finally vote Carlos out? And what caused Lizzie's elimination? Find out next time on S.S. Total Drama!"

Louie is shown sobbing at the confessional, "Th-the reason why I couldn't team up with the girls to vote out Carlos..." he sobs more, "I had already joined Carlos and the boys to vote for Lizzie. I-I'm sorry Lizzie, but it was my only way to survive here, I hope you don't hate me now," he makes a heart shape to the camera using his hands before the footage ends.

Chapter 7 - I'm Feeling Orange And Free
Chris is shown in an amusement park near the shore, he smiles to the camera and says, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama, we paid Rio de Janeiro a very brief visit, and had a carnival parade challenge on the ship deck. Unfortunately, we didn't have floats or any interesting thing at all, and that made the challenge boring as heck! The Soaring Seagulls won after Louie's boxer briefs fell down during the Clam Chowder's parade," Chris shudders, "That is a moment I wish I could forget. Despite Louie's pathetic performance, Lizzie was the one voted out due to her alliance thinking she offered a risk to them. Who will be voted out tonight, on S.S. Total Drama!"

Terry is shown sleeping on her cabin, when a moaning noise is heard. The girl wakes up and gasps, "What was that?" she asks herself, "Oh, it might have been a nightmare," the moaning is heard again, causing Terry to cover her entire body with a blanket.

It's morning, and the Soaring Seagull girls are waking up. Lana approaches Terry and says, "Hi Terry! How is your latest novel goin-"Terry opens her eyes to reveal they are red and have bags under them.

"Oh my God!" yells Lana quickly looking to the other side. She looks at Terry and says, "Sorry, you are not that horrible."

"Gee, thanks," says Terry, "I couldn't sleep last night."

Lana asks, "Why? Anything out of the usual?"

"It's nothing, really," says Terry, "I'm going to put on some decent clothes," she enters the bathroom.

Inna asks, "What happened with Terry?"

"I don't know, she didn't tell me," says Lana.

Halle says, "I say we should leave her alone, if she doesn't want to tell, it's her decision."

"Agreed," says Cleo.

Terry gets out of the bathroom changed, "Girls, I'm going to the deck. I'll see if I can relax there."

Halle follows her and asks, "So, what happened last night?"

"Oh, it was horrible," says Terry getting out of the cabin, "I couldn't sleep because I was heraring..." her voice fades down the hallway, leaving Lana staring at the scene with her mouth slightly open. She lays on her bed and sighs.

Lana appears in the confessional, "That's not the first time this happens. It's obvious that Terry shows bias towards Halle, but what can I do? For some reason she finds her obnoxiousness captivating... Go figure."

Carlos, Mathew and Lance are shown in their cabin drinking grape juice, while Louie sleeps in a top bunk on the background.

Carlos says, "And that's why I think Meredith should be the next to go."

"What about Patricia?" asks Mathew.

Carlos asks clueless, "Who?"

Lance says, "Blonde, grey sweater, is it so hard to remember the girl!?"

Carlos says, "Oh, sorry, she is just so... Forgettable."

Carlos is about to take a sip of grape juice when Louie screams louly in his sleep, "No, not another wedgie!" Carlos jumps and spills juice all over his clothes.

Mathew says, "I advise you to change it."

"You don't say!" says Lance, obnoxiously.

Carlos looks at Mathew, then at Lance and says, "I guess I'll change at the bathroom. And take a dump too."

"Too much information!" says Lance, disgusted.

"What?" asksd Carlos, "Never read 'Everybody Poops'? You should," he gets up and enters the bathroom.

"You know what I noticed?" ask Mathew and Lance at the same time.

Lance says, "You first."

"Okay," says Mathew, "Well, I noticed how we never had a friendly conversation anymore since we allied to Carlos. We just talk about alliances."

Lance asks, "What do you want to talk about, hot guys?" Mathew glares at him.

"Relax," says Lance, "It was just a joke. I talk about all kinds of stuff, like my love for medicine."

Mathew scoffs, "Boring."

"That's what I told your mom last night," says Lance.

"As far as I know, my mom isn't a man," says Mathew.

Lance smirks, "Oh sorry, it might have been your dad, I can't tell the difference."

"My father is dead," says Mathew bluntly.

Lance's eyes widen, "Oh my God, I'm sorry!"

"Ha!" says Mathew, "Gotcha, he is alive and healthy."

"He didn't seem that healthy last night," says Lance.

Mathew smirks, "Oh, that's because he already-"

Louie screams from his bed with his high-pitched voice, "Could you two stop fighting to decide who is the biggest smartass and shut up!"

Mathew laughs obnoxiously, "Look, the softie boy wants to give us orders."

"Ooh, what will he do?" Lance says, "Scream until our ears bleed!"

Louie gets up and says, "You know what? I'm gonna get some girls," he leaves the cabin in his pajamas.

Lance says, "Now that was the quality time you wanted us to have together?"

Mathew laughs, "Sure, we should do it again," he says, "Now you can tell me what you noticed."

A flushing noise is heard and Carlos gets out of the bathroom, "I advise you not to enter there the next few days," he says pointing to the bathroom.

Lance whispers to Mathew, "I'll tell you later."

Inna and Foreman are shown sitting on a table at the dining area.

"All right," says Inna, "Here is the diet I made for you, try to follow every step and exercise regularly so you can lose weight," she gives Foreman a sheet of paper.

Foreman reads it and raises an eyebrow, "Do you want me to starve to death, I can't eat just that!" says Foreman.

Inna says, "Of course you can, strong will my man!"

"I'm not your man," says Foreman.

Inna smiles and says, "I know, right? Ahahahaha!"

Foreman asks, "Are you okay, Inna?"

Inna looks down, "Yeah, kinda... Okay, let's jog to burn calories!"

"What about my lunch?" asks Foreman.

Inna says, "Oh, eating is for losers!"

Forema says, "What the heck, Inna? Aren't you supposed to understand about health?"

"I am, silly," says Inna, "That was just joke, ahahahaha!"

Foreman is shown in the confessional, "Is it just me or is Inna acting weird lately? I'm scared, and I am the one who should be scaring people!"

The contestants are shown leaving the ship, and arriving at some baech.

Chris, who is standing on the sand, says, "Welcome to the famous Jersey Shore-"

Cleo says, "Isn't it that show with the orange brainless people?"

"Well, yes," says Chris, "But we are at the original Jersey Shore, which is much more than just parties and fun," as Chris finishes his sentence, a bunch of fist-pumping fratboys walk on the background, while one of them pukes on the sand.

Lance rolls his eyes, "I can see that," he says.

"As I was saying," continues Chris, "This place is mostly known thanks to that show Clair mentioned."

Cleo yells, "It's Cleo, don't you ever get it right?"

Chris says, "I'm not paid for it!" he coughs, "Yeah, that show. Your challenge will be giving one of your teammember a makeover. After that, your makeoer will be judged by guidos, keep that in mind."

"Guidos?" asks Mallory, "I hope they're hot."

"You will see," says Chris, "Each team will have acess to a beauty parlor, where you will find everythinmg you will need for your makeover. When I give the signal, you can run to your vans," he points to a blue van with a seagull painted on it, and an orange van with a clam painted on it, "And drive to the beauty parlors, which are marked in the provided map. Ready? Go!" he blows an airhorn and the teams run to their respective vans.

Foreman, who is driving the Seagulls van, says, "I know exactly where I have to go, you better decide who will get the makeover."

"I say Terry," says Cleo, "She looks bad."

A zoom of Terry's swollen eyes is shown as she says, "What do you mean by that?"

Halle says, "As much as you are good looking, not as much as me, obviously, I think you need a makeover, your face is bad from your lack of sleep."

Terry sighs, "Okay."

Lana says, "Yeah, I think so too... Yo."

Lana is shown in the confessional, "Yo? Yo!? Ugh, no matter how much I try to be cool like Halle, I'll always end up sounding like a rapper wannabe."

The Clam Chowders are shown in their van. Carlos, who is driving, asks, "So, did you decide who will get the makeover?"

Mallory says, "I suggest using someone ugly, so the makeover will be more surprising."

Lance nudges Mathew, "Here is your chance, dude," he says.

"Oh, shut up," says Mathew.

Patricia asks Meredith, "Why don't you go, Meredith? I've never seen you wearing anything other than these sloppy clothes."

"Alright," says Meredith, "What can go wrong?" she laughs nervously.

On the Seagulls' parlor, Halle, Lana and Cleo sit Terry in a chair.

Cleo says, "Okay, first let's dye her hair."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," says Terry, "I'm not dying my hair, I've never done this before."

Cleo says, "I did, give me some dye, Halle."

"No," says Halle, "You have to respect Terry, and she does not want to dye her hair."

Cleo says, "Ugh, okay, good luck doing something interesting with that girl," she leaves the room.

Ryan, Foreman and Inna are shown sitting in their van.

Ryan says, "So, why are we here again?"

"I know nothing about beauty," says Foreman.

Inna laughs, "I can see that," she says.

Ryan covers his eyes as Foreman gives Inna a death glare.

The long-haired boy is shown in the confessional, "Boy, Foreman is scary. I don't know how Inna have the guts to say such things in front of him, it looks like she is immune to fear."

Inna says, "Oh, Foreman, I was just joking. I don't know about beauty tips either, I'm all for natural beauty!"

Ryan says, "I know us three have no knowlledge about beauty, but I feel like I have to help my team. What about you?"

"Good luck," says Inna waving to Ryan.

Ryan leaves the van and enters the beauty parlor.

Foreman gets up and says, as he is about to get out of the van, "I'm going too, I don't like to feel useless," he steps on a gap and falls face-first on the ground.

"Oh my God, Foreman!" screams Inna as she gets out of the van, the blonde also steps on the gap and falls next to him with her face on the ground, "I came to help," she says.

The Clam Chowders are seen on their beauty parlor.

Patricia sticks he head out of a closet, "We have some nice clothes here, but that red dress would look perfect on Meredith," she says holding the aforementioned dress.

Mallory says, "Ew, what an ugly dress. She should wear simpler clothes, remember we will be judged by guidos, not snooty middle aged men with a doubtful sexuality."

"Excuse me, princess," says Patricia, "That's offensive!"

Mallory says, "At least I made a point," she gets a pair of short shorts and a black shirt with a very low cut, "She should wear those."

Louie makes a clicking noise with his mouth and says, "Surely! I'd love to see that."

"No way!" yells Meredith, "I'm not revealing my body to all those perverts!"

Mallory states bluntly, "But we will be judged at the beach."

Meredith stares blankly at Mallory, but quickly crosses her arms and faces the side, "Well, I prefer the dress."

"Okay," says Mallory, "But you know whose fault it will be if the guidos don't like the dress."

Meredith says, "Of course I know, it will be Patricia's," she laughs goofily as Patricia glares at her.

On the Soaring Seagulls' side, Lana and Halle are shown besides a beauty parlor chair, which is facing the wall. They turn it around to reveal Terry with a poof on her hair, "Ta-da!" the girls say.

Cleo and Ryan look at her with raised eyebrows. Ryan says, "She looks gorgeous!"

Ryan is shown on the confessional, "She looks horrible! But what can I do? I can't insult something my friends worked so hard on."

Inna is shown with Foreman in their teams van, holding an ice pack to the latter's face, "Does it still hurt?"

"A little," says Foreman.

"So," says Inna, "Let's go for a walk!"

Foreman sighs, "My leg hurts again."

"What's wrong with your leg, again?" asks Inna, "You've never told me."

"Nothing," says Foreman, "I fell from the stairs," tears start forming on his eyes.

Inna says, "I don't buy it, you wouldn't cry for that."

"It's true," says Foreman, "It just isn't the whole story."

Inna says excitedly, "What are you waiting for? Tell me!"

Foreman sighs, "Well, since I was a teenager, my dream was to become a detective," he says as Inna looks intrigued at him.

Foreman is shown in the confessional, "At that moment, I could already hear the sad song playing in the background. Why was I so stupid to confess my deepest feelings on

national television?"

Inna says, "Ooh, like Sherlock Holmes?"

"No, Inna," says Foreman, "A real detective, who uses knowledge and strength to fight for justice. Not a pompous druggie who isn't even a real person," Inna's eyes widen.

Foreman continues, "I met my wife at eighteen, but you don't want to know about that. So, when I was old enough, I decided to take the test to finally become a detective. I was excellent at the written exam and that made me very excited."

Inna says, "Yay, awesome!"

"Not so awesome," says Foreman, "A day prior to the physical test, I fell from the stairs of my apartment and severely injuried my leg. I had to put a pin on it, and now I'm barely able to perform physical tasks."

Inna sobs, "I'm so sorry."

"That's not it," says Foreman, "After that I became this person you see now. A slob with no ambitions in life, who is so fat he can't fit into a kart, and is fine with being a mediocre teacher who scares his students." Foreman starts sobbing,"And to top it off, my vapid wife who just liked me for my looks left me and..." He cries with his hands over his face.

Inna, who is crying too, asks "And what?"

"She took my little angel with her," Foreman says between sobs.

Inna asks, "Your little angel?"

"Yes," says Foreman, "We have a daughter."

Inna looks shocked, "Oh, so..." she looks down, "Nevermind, I'm sorry to hear that, big guy."

"Never call me that again," says Foreman.

"Don't be so grumpy, man," says Inna, "You have a life to live, don't waste it by staying at home doing nothing."

Foreman thinks for a moment and says, "I do weightlifting sometimes, does that count?"

"Wel, yes," says Inna, "But you could go for a jog- I mean, walk sometimes, it's great for you."

Foreman says, "People will laugh at me."

"Of course not," says Inna, "You will never lose weight if you are afraid to exercise."

"I'm not afraid to exercise," says Foreman, "I'm just... Embarassed."

Inna says, "Don't be! You don't have to be embarassed about your weight, there's nothing embarassing about it."

Foreman starts, "I know, but I am. I can't explain why."

"So where is that diet I gave you?" asks Inna, "I'm pretty sure that if you follow it and exercise regularly you will lose lots of weight."

"Why should I trust your diet?" asks Foreman, "How can I know if you really know what you're doing?"

Inna smiles proudly and says, "I have a major in nutrition!"

"Whoa!" says Foreman, "Aren't you a little young for that?"

Inna looks confused, "What are you talking about, I'm thirty-two."

Foreman looks surprised, "What? You can't be serious."

"I am!" says Inna, "They don't call me a health nut for nothing," she laughs.

On the Clam Chowder's beauty parlor, the boys are preparing a bathtub for meredith.

Carlos says, "The water is hot enough, do you think we need something else?"

"What about rose petals?" asks Mathew.

"Good idea," says Carlos, "Louie is already getting the bath salts, by the way," Louie is shown desperately trying to open a pack of bath salts with his mouth.

Lance says, "Be careful Louie, we don't want to have our faces eaten by you!" he laughs.

Carlos glares at Lance, "Dude, not funny," he says.

"You're not the first one to question my sense of humour," says Lance, "Some people appreciate it, right Mathew?"

"Sure," says Mathew, "I was totally laughing... On the inside," Lance rolls his eyes.

Meredith is shown sitting in a beauty parlor chair with her hair untied, as Mallory approaches her with a flat iron.

"No!" screams Patricia from quite some distance.

Mallory looks at her, "What's your problem, girl?"

Patricia says, "Don't even think about straightening Meredith's hair!"

"Why not?" asks Mallory, "And why do you even care? The hair is not yours."

"Hmm," starts Patricia, "It's just that her hair looks perfect that way."

Mallory says, "But according to the beauty patterns of today's society, her hair is a disaster."

"Who cares about beauty patterns?" says Patricia with some anger on her voice, "The beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and I think Meredith looks-" her eyes widen as she calmly says, "Umm, just fine."

"Okay," says Mallory, "No need to get angry, we can work with something else."

Patricia suggests, "What about putting a rose on her hair?"

"I guess it could work," says Mallory, "But if the guidos don't like it, you know who is going home," she smiles sinisterly.

On the Seagulls' beauty parlkor, Cleo, Lana and Halle are shown with Terry on a tanning room, "Now you will enter this booth and the tanning process will start," says the redhead.

Terry lies on the booth, "Okay," she says.

Halle says, "Cleo, could you look over Terry on the tanning booth while we help Ryan chose the makeup? Boys aren't made for that."

"Sure," says Cleo as the other girls leave.

Terry says, "Are you sure this is safe?"

"Of course," says Cleo.

Terry asks worried, "What if I tan too much?"

"Don't worry, we can remove it later," says Cleo, "This tan is faker than Chris McLean's hair."

Terry says, "Okay, so pay atten-" Cleo closes the booth before Terry can finish her sentence. She sits on a chair, grabs a handled video-game from her pocket and satrts playing it.

Time elapses as Cleo plays her video-game,

"Yeah, I passed you dumb princess!"

"Yes, speed boost!"

"Oh no, not the blue shell!"

Cleo hears a loud airhorn and jumps from her chair, "Cheese and crackers, I forgot Terry!"

Halle and Lana run to the tanning room, "What did you just say?" asks Halle.

Cleo desperately opens the booth and stares at the inside in horror while Lana and Halle shake their heads in disapproval.

"Attention contestants," echoes Chris' voice through some loudspeakers, "Time is up, drive back to the beach where your makeovers will be judged!"

Terry is shown on the confessional with an exaggerated fake tan, "I can't believe I slept on the tanning booth, but I had a terrible night. I was so disturbed by those noises."

The Soaring Seagulls are shown on their van. Terry is wearing short shorts, a black shirt with a low cut and a poof on her hair. She also has an overly tanned skin that looks orange.

Everyone else is glaring at Cleo.

Cleo says, "Guys, look on the bright side, we will be judged by guidos. Maybe they will like Terry's look."

Halle says, "No one with a working brain would approve this catastrophe of a makeover."

"Exactly!" says Cleo.

Both teams are shown on the beach in front of a booth covered by a curtain, the contestants who received the makeover are not present.

Chris says, "Okay, since both teams are ready, I will now present you the judges. Chef!"

Chef arrives at the beach and pulls the curtain down, revealing the judges: two middle-aged men wearing matching orange jackets with long yellow sleeves, one of them has grey hair, while the other has black hair.

"What the heck?" asks Cleo, "Aren't they supposed to be guidos?"

"Indeed," says Chris, "Those are William and Joseph!"

Halle raises an eyebrow, "Is this some kind of joke, Chris?"

Lance says, "Chris, guidos are muscular, comically tanned young guys, not a couple of balding men."

"Oh, you guys are too young to know them," says Chris, "Or already forgot them."

Patricia says, "Chris, please, a real reality show fan like me would never forget the legendary guidos. Jersey Shore got nothing on them!"

Chris says, "Oh, I see someone who appreciates my effort to bring back some old classics."

William shouts, "Hey, we are not old!"

"Who are we kidding?" asks Joseph, "We are two old farts."

"Eh, it's true," says William as both laugh.

Chris says, "Okay, enough introductions, let's start with the judging. First team will be the Clam Chowders!"

Meredith comes out of the Clam Chowder's van, she is wearing a red formal dress, red high heels and a golden necklace. Her hair is completely untied, and she has a rose on it.

William and Joseph discuss something inaudible, until Joseph turns to the contestants and says, "Simple, but absolutely stunning. I really like your hair, Meredith."

Patricia points at Mallory and says, "Ha! Told you." she turns to the judges and bows, "It's a honor to have my fashion choices complimented by you."

"Oh, stop it," says William.

Joseph says, "Yeah, we don't even know about fashion at all."

Chris says, "Now, Soaring Seagulls, it's your turn.."

"Wait," says Louie, "What about our score?"

"Oh, that?" says Chris, "They will not give you scores, they will just decide who is the best one. Now Soaring Seagulls, you can start."

An overly-tanned Terry comes out of the van wearing short shorts, a low-cut black shirt and a poof on her hair.

Joseph and William look at her with raised eyebrows, "Willy Wonka called," says William, "He wants his Oompa Loompa back."

Terry looks down in shame and returns to her van.

The scene cuts to both teams standing in front of the judges. William says, "And the winners are..."

"The Clam Chowders!" says Joseph. The winning team cheers, before both teams leave the area.

Chris says, "Thank you for your guest appearance, guys. Those Jersey Shore guidos wanted too much money to appear on my show, can you believe it?"

"Yeah," says William, "Those guys are can't think of anything but money and women."

Joseph says, "It's fifteen thousand each, by the way," Chris sighs.

Terry is shown on a bathtub on her cabin's bathroom, the water looks orange and her fake tan is almost gone, "Stupid challenge," she says, "Stupid Cleo. I wish I could sleep well that night, but those noises..." she sleeps on the bathtub, only to submerge her head and wake up gasping for air.

The Soaring Seagulls are shown at the elimination ceremony, Terry is almost back to her normal, but her skin still has a light tone of orange. Chris is holding a plate with six marshmallows, "Hello, Soaring Seagulls," he says, "Here I have six marshmallows for seven of you unlucky people. The marshmallows go to..."

As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.

"Halle."

"Ryan."

"Lana."

"Inna."

Chris says, "For some reason, Terry is safe," he throws Terry her marshmallow, "So that means either Cleo or Foreman is going home, and the last marshmallow goes to..."

"Foreman," says Chris before throwing a marshmallow to the man, who catches it with no emotion while Inna hugs him.

Chris says, "Cleo, the Lifesaver of Losers awaits."

"Fair enough," says Cleo, "Who thought a small break could cost me the game?"

"Everyone thought," says Halle, "Come on, it was just so predictable!"

Cleo says, "Okay, okay, I get it," she boards the Lifesaver of Losers and descends into the ocean.

Chris turns to the camera, "That's it for today's episode! Will Terry have a good night sleep? Can Foreman's story get even cheesier? And will the next elimination be less obvious than the last two? Find out next time on S.S. Total Drama!"

Chapter 8 - Tour De L'égouts
Chris is shown standing on the docks of an unknown city, he opens a bright smile and starts his introduction, "Last time, on S.S. Total Drama, we visited the famous shore of New Jersey, where teams had to give one of their members a makeover that would be judged by guidos. The catch? The guidos weren't who they were expecting. Foreman opened up to Inna, and Cleo forgot her teammate Terry sleeping in a tanning booth, which caused her elimination. Today we are arriving at our next destination, who will be eliminated tonight, on S.S. Total Drama!"

The Soaring Seagull girls are shown waking up in their cabin.

"Hey, Terry," says Halle, "Did you have a good sleep tonight, or did something bother you like yesterday?"

Terry says, "Oh, it was okay, no moaning this time. I didn't sleep perfectly either, I was worried."

"Wait, moaning?" asks Lana.

Terry says, "It's nothing, really."

"Yeah," says Halle, "Leave Terry alone."

Lana sighs and leaves the cabin looking down.

Terry sits down on her bed and says, "Come here, my awesome co-writer, let's continue our work."

Halle sits down next to her and says, "Are you sure it's safe? Inna might be eavesdropping," Inna is shown sleeping with her mouth open, as a fly lands on her nose.

"Nah," says Terry, "Okay, so we stopped when Mrs. Petunia found out Naomi's secret. Where should we go with it?"

Halle is shown in the confessional, "Man, I never thought I would find someone as awesome as me," she thinks for a moment, "What am I talking about? No one is as awesome as me. But Terry is a pretty cool girl, I'm glad she can handle my awesomeness."

Carlos, Mathew, Lance and Mallory are shown at the dining area.

"Get on with it, Carlos," says Lance, "I'm already tired of all those reunions."

Carlos says, "Okay, there are two people outside our alliance."

"Three," says Mallory.

"Oh, right," says Carlos, "Three. All three are pretty useless, if you ask me."

"Agreed," says Mathew, "But Meredith seems the most athletic of them."

Carlos says, "That's exactly where I wanted to go, we have to get rid of her next."

"Can't we eliminate Patricia instead?" Mallory asks, "She is so annoying."

"We don't need to," says Carlos, "Patricia is the most harmless person to us in this game. We don't even have to worry about her."

Patricia is shown talking to Meredith on her cabin, "And that's why we need eliminate Carlos as soon as possible."

Meredith says, "Don't we try to do this, like, every time we lose the challenge?"

"Details," says Patricia, "We need to get Louie on our side, which is easy, considering he is desperate for a girlfriend."

Meredith says, "Eww, no. I'm not kissing Louie."

"Don't worry," says Patricia, "I'll try to work on that. I'll try to work on Mallory too... Not in that way, but you got what I mean."

The ship's chimney goes off and Chris' voice sounds on the loudspeakers, "Attention contestants, we have arrived at our next destination, keep in mind a long flight is waiting for you."

The contestants are now shown in a plane, each of them is sitting on seats far from each other. Chris arrives at the front of the plane and says, "As some might have noticed, we are in Aquitaine, France. However, our challenge will take place in Paris, that's why you will have to endure this thrilling plane ride."

Mathew scoffs, "I'm dying of excitement."

"I know, right?" says Meredith, cluelessly.

"Shut up!" shouts Chris, "I put you in seats far away from each other so no one would comunicate during the flight. Now, the challeneg will be announced once we get in Paris. Enjoy the ride!" he enters the cockpit and the plane starts taking flight.

A montage of the contestants eating peanuts on the airplane is shown, until Lance faces the camera, "Really? Don't you have anything more interesting to make a montage of? God, you're desperate," he says while the camera slowly faces down.

The contestants are now together with Chris on a nondescript corner in Paris.

"Ah, Paris," says Chris, "The city of love... And our challenge has everything to do with love."

Mallory smiles excitedly, "Yay! I'm ready to marry a French hunk."

Louie creeps behind Mallory and says in a bad French accent, "Je t'aime, mon déesse du yeux blue."

Mallory smiles nervously, "Umm, I'd suggest you to practice your French a little more," the boy walks away looking disappointed.

"As I was saying," stars Chris, "This challenge has everything to do with love," smiles form on some of the contestant's faces, "You will have a treasure hunt on Paris' sewers!" many grumbles are heard from the contestants.

"Are you kidding me?" asks Mallory, "When we fianlly get to France our challenge is in the sewers?"

Patricia laughs, "You say this like you don't know Chris already," she says.

Chris says, "Both teams will have to descend in Paris' famous absurdly spacious sewers and retrieve a hidden treasure chest for me. The first team to complete the task will not just win immunity, but also the secret contents of the treasure chest."

Mathew says, "I bet fifteen bucks it's something lame."

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," says Chris, "But the entrance to the sewers is there," he points to a large hole on the ground, "The challenge starts now!" The contestants start climbing down to the sewers.

The Clam Chowders are shown walking along the sewers.

Carlos says, "Each time we see a fork, we will divide our group in half, okay?" everyone agrees except Patricia.

Patricia nudges Meredith, "What are you doing? Don't follow that scum's orders." she whispers.

"Sorry Pat," says Meredith, "It seemed like a good idea."

Patricia whispers, "Look how I'll make a fool of that ignorant animal," she raises her voice, "But Carlos, how will we divide in half if there are seven of us?"

"Three go to one side and four go to the other," Carlos says, "It's not that hard, is it?"

Patricia mutters something dirty under her breath.

On the Soaring Seaulls, Halle and Terry are talking while Lana walks along with them.

"And that's how I survived after eating only okra and hot water," says Halle.

"Wow!" says Terry in amazement, "That's an incredible feat, I'm impressed with anyone who can like okra," she laughs.

Lana gets closer to them and says, "I really like okra."

"Oh, cool," says Terry unethusiastically, she turns to Halle and says, "So, tell me about your stalker in seventh grade. I'm dying to know about that."

Halle says, "So, in seventh grade I was already incredibly gorgeous, so I had many stalkers. But this one was different..."

Lana walks away from them, looking down.

Ryan notices Lana and asks, "What's wrong, Lana?"

"Nothing," she says.

"You don't have to keep avoiding me," says Ryan, "I'm here to help."

"Okay," Lana says, "It's VelvetCupcakes."

"What?" Ryan asks confused.

Lana sighs, "Terry," she says.

"Oh, so what is VelvetCupcakes?" asks Ryan.

Lana says, "It's her username on MysteryINC.com, she writes mystery novels."

"Cool! I didn't know that," says Ryan.

Lana says, "I'm probably her biggest fan ever, but she doesn't even care about me."

Rayn thinks for a moment and says, "Did you try -"

"Guys!" says Inna, "We have a three-way fork here. I'll follow with Foreman, the girls can go left, and Lana and Ryan go right, okay?"

A group of 'okays' is heard as the contestants continue walking.

"As I was saying," Ryan continues, now following the path on the right side, "Did you try approaching Terry?"

Lana says, "It's everything I do, but Terry is all about Halle, Halle and Halle."

"I can't blame her," says Ryan, "That girls is hot!"

Lana glares at Ryan, "Aren't you trying to help me?" she asks.

"Sorry," answers Ryan, blushing.

The Clam Chowders are shown arriving at a two-way fork.

Carlos says, "Meredith, Louie and Patricia, can you go right?"

Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Now it's my chance to get Mallory on our side!"

"Why don't the girls go right?" asks Patricia.

Mallory says, "As long as I'm not with Louie, I'm fine with it," the girls take the right path while the guys go left.

Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Just watch how I'll get that girl on our side," she smiles mischevously.

"Hey, Mallory," says Patricia, "So, we almost don't have girl time together. What do you think of the boys?"

Mallory thinks for a moment and says, "Louie creeps me, Mathew is okay and Lance is out reach."

Patricia says, "Oh, not in that way. I mean, what about their personalities."

"Well, Carlos is Carlos, I can't dislike him," Mallory says as Patricia cringes, "Lance and Mathew are quite the unpleasant pair to be around, and Louie... Well, he creeps me."

Meredith says, "Oh, so you're a Kentucky Carlos fan? Did you know Pat here ha-"

Patricia covers Meredith's mouth and says, "I happen to have seen him on Outlaster."

"Oh, cool," says Mallory, "He was incredible, wasn't he?"

Patricia brethes heavily, but finally opens a smile, "If you say so..."

Meredith says, "Patricia, what happened to all the hate-"

"Oh my gosh, giant sewer monster!" yells Patricia interrupting her.

Mallory cowers in fear, "Kill it with fire!" she screams.

Meredith stares blankly at both girls, "But there's nothing here," she says.

"Oops," says Patricia, "My mind might be playing tricks," she offers a fake laugh.

Patricia is shown at the confessional with a small notebook, "Okay, so Mallory doesn't like Mathew and Lance at all," she writes something down, "And she apparently is a huge fan of Carlos... Go figure," she writes down more, "After I gather enough information, my master strategic scheme will cause Carlos' downfall!" she laughs maniacally, until losing her breath and gasping for air.

The scene returns to Ryan and Lana.

"Maybe you should just forget her," says Ryan.

"I know," says Lana, "I just have to find a new distraction, but her novels are so awesome nothing in this world can replace them!" she cries dramatically, but sincerely.

Ryan says, "Oh, don't cry, you can find other friends in your life," he smiles sweetly.

Lana stops crying and stares at Ryan, "My only friend in my whole life is my mother, how do you expect me to suddenly get a friend now!?"

"I don't know," says Ryan, "Maybe someone is willing," he smiles reassuringly.

Lana starts tapping her chin, "Maybe one day... I gotta keep dreaming for now," she says.

Ryan is shown at the confessional, "She wouldn't get the hint even if it was staring right at her! Thinking about it, it was staring right at her. Maybe she's really blinded by Terry," he looks at the ground, upset.

Lance, Carlos, Mathew and Louie are walking down their path.

"This challenge is extremelly boring," says Mathew.

Lance says, "Yeah, I'm bored of pointlessly walking in the sewers with nothing happening around at all."

Carlos rolls his eyes, "I bet this is just an excuse for us to interact for a whole day without having to perform any boring challenge," he says.

Suddenly, Louie screams with a piercing high-pitched voice.

"What the heck is this?" asks Mathew, "I don't want to get deaf!"

"Cockroach!" shouts Louie while pointing at a bug on the ground.

Lance steps on it and looks at Louie with a raised eyebrow, "Stop being so pathetic," he says.

Mathew laughs, "Is there something this guy isn't scared of?" he says.

"And his voice," says Lance, "It makes Dawn from Revenge of The Island sound like Foreman," him and Mathew start laughing.

Louie puts on of his arms around Carlos, "At least you are my friend, right?"

Carlos smiles gently, "Of course I am, Louis-"

"Louie," interrupts the boy.

"Whatever," says Carlos, "But you are my buddy!" the guys high-five.

Louie is shown in the confessional, "A friend! I love when I get new friends. At school my friends are Julie, Dani, Fiona and Jake, they are so cool! They even let me talk to them in public!" he says with a constant smile.

Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Louie's friend? Oh, please, I'm oviously using him, the guy is more gullible than a two-year-old. In case I lose an alliance member, he willl always be there to vote with me. He will be in my alliance without even knowing," Carlos chuckles, "Who's playing a flawless game?" he points to himself with his two thumbs.

The forks Halle and Terry took ends at the same place as Ryan and Lana's.

"Oh, hi girls!" says Lana.

Halle scoffs, "Girls? You should refer to me as Her Royal Sexyness, thank you very much."

Ryan opens his mouth, but no words come out of it. The girls just stare at him.

Ryan is shown in the confessional, looking upset, "I tried to defend Lana, but insulting words just can't come out of my mouth."

Inna is shown walking with Foreman.

"So, you say I have to eat only that?" Foreman asks.

"Yup," says Inna, "But it's enough, trust me, you won't die," she shoves a paper on his hands while laughing.

Foreman looks at it with a raised eyebrow, "You brought my diet instructions to the sewers?"

Inna nods, "We never know when I'll need to convince you."

"I am convinced," says Foreman, "I am determined to lose weight by following this."

Inna stops walking and clears her throat.

"What?" asks Foreman, who also stops.

Inna smiles and says, "The jogging!"

"Oh no..."

"Oh, yes," says Inna, "Don't you want to live a healthy life? Or do you want to watch TV and eat junk food all your life? Don't you just want to walk on the streets, feel the sunshine on your skin, meet new people-"

"New people who will laugh at this pig wearing jogging gear?" says Foreman, "No, thank you."

Inna says, "I thought you agreed with me yesterday."

"Nope," says Foreman, "You interrupted me with your diet talk before I could say anything."

"It's for your health!" Pleads Inna.

Foreman shakes his head.

Inna is shown in the confessional, "At that point I could get hold of Foreman's neck and twist it! I just couldn't take it anymore, so no more Ms. Inna happy fun times!"

"Look!" says an impatient Inna, "You have a little daughter, right? Do you want to be a good father or do you want to be so useless that you will not even be able to take your daughter for a weekend trip!?" she storms off furious while Foreman looks at her with a hint of tears in his eyes.

Inna walks past a large block of concrete in front of a pipe, "Hmm, that might be it."

Some time later, Foreman walks past the same block of concrete and shakes his head.

Inna joins the other members on the Soaring Seagulls, soon followed by Foreman.

"Great," says Terry, "All the paths led up to the same area."

"Hi, guys!" says Inna, "You will not believe wihat I found on our way there!"

Lana's eyes widen, "The treasure?" she asks.

Inna makes a gesture with her hand while dramatically saying, "A secret passaaaaaage."

Foreman nudges Inna and says, "I don't think this is a good idea, Inna."

"Let's go!" she says while conducting her team.

The Soaring Seagulls arrive at a large pipe blocked by an even larger block of concrete.

Inna says, "So this might be some kind of secret entrance, let's push it!"

Foreman starts, "I don't actually-"

The whole team starts pushing the block away. As soon as it unblocks the path, a wave of filthy water takes over the place.

The scene now shows the unconscious Soaring Seagulls near the entrance of the sewers, their clothes are soaked and filthy. The Clam Chowders emerge from the manhole with a treasure chest.

"Clam Chowders win immunity!" announces Chris, as the winning team cheers.

Patricia glares at Chris, "Who are you, Geoff Post?" her cheering teammates accidentally knock Patricia on the floor.

"As the winners of this challenge," says Chris, "You will win, besides immunity, the contents of this tresure chest!" he gives a key to Louie and he runs to the chest to open it.

"What?" asks Louie.

"Are you kidding me, Chris?" says Mathew, holding a small bottle with Chris' face on it, "What the heck is that supposed to be?"

Chris smiles brightly while holding one of the bottles. The camera focus on him while some relaxing music plays in the background, "It's the new Chris McLean Cologne: Limited French Edition, sold at the best perfumery for only 29,99. Call now and buy one bottle, for the price of two," he says.

"Great," says Lance, "At least we got something to clean the bathroom with."

Mathew laughs, "Sure, we will need it after Carlos uses it," he says.

"Okay, enough perfume bashing," says Chris, "Let's take the plane and go back to our cruise ship," the plane is shown leaving Paris airport, and arriving at Aquitaine.

The Soaring Seagullsd are shown at the elimination ceremony site, sitting on the usual folding charis.

"Hello, Soaring Seagulls," says Chris, "Welcome once again to the elimination ceremony, you may now cast your votes."

Halle is shown in the confessional, "Inna brought us to our demise, my vote is for her."

Inna is shown on the confessional, "I vote for Lana, she is the only person who might receive votes from someone else."

The host lifts a plate, "Here I have only five marshmallows, but there are six of you unlucky Seagulls. The marshmallows go to...

As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.

"Halle."

"Foreman."

"Terry."

"Ryan."

Chris looks at the remaining contestants, "Inna and Lana," he says, "You both made mistakes today."

"I did?" asks Lana.

Chris says, "I don't know, today's episode was so boring I didn't watch everything. But I do know that the last marshmallow goes to..."

"Wait!" a deep voice breaks the silence. Foreman gets up from his folding chair and stands in front of the contestants.

The large man gestures towards Inna and says, "This woman," he holds back some tears, "She gave me a new perspective to lfe. The least I can do to her is to give her one more chance at the million dollars. Chris, I quit."

A chorus of "Awwwwww," is heard from the contestants, except Halle.

Terry nudges Halle, "Why so insensitive?"

"Halle doesn't aww," she says, making Lana roll her eyes.

Foreman approaches Inna and hugs her, "Thank you," he whispers into her ear.

Inna says, "You're welcome. But I'm the one-"

"No," says Foreman, "No need to thank me."

Inna opens a mischevous smile and says, "But I will!" she leans towards Foreman and kisses him.

She lets go of him, and Foreman says with wide eyes, "Umm, I have to go. Se you all later!" the man boards the Lifesaver of Losers and the boat descends into the ocean.

Chris turns to the camera, "I love happy endings..." he says, "Too bad no one was severely injuried to make things happy. See you next time on a possibly more life-threatening episode of S.S. Total Drama!"

Foreman is shown on the Lifesaver of Losers. He says, "I have to thank Inna for giving me a new perspective in life. I thought I was hopeless until that angel fell from the sky," he scratches the back of his head, "Now I just have to explain little Emily about this new angel in my life," Foreman sighs.

Elimination Table
Color Code:


 * Was a member of the Soaring Seagulls.


 * Was a member of the Clam Chowders.


 * Won challenge.


 * Safe.


 * Bottom two.


 * Voted-off.


 * Left under special circumstances.