User blog comment:Shadowgeoff/TDIFF Wiki Election 2016/@comment-5613684-20160604070807

Name: Gary Coleman

Running Mate (Vice Presidential Nominee): Sunslicer2

Past Positions: Actor on TV's Diff'rent Strokes, seller of my own line of miniature grills, the Superintendent on Avenue Q, professional sockpuppet for renowned accounts like "Fann Y. Fiction The Biggestdbagbesidesjake" and "Fann Y. Fiction The Biggestdbagevenbiggerthandyna"

Positive Qualities: My nonthreateningness (I'm like 4'10 and, as of 2016, dead of heart failure), my sensitivity (I make people feel better by reminding them no matter how low they went, they're not as washed-up and pathetic as me), my generosity (I sell model trains on eBay)

Campaign Promises and Goals: Ban the phrase "whatchoo talkin' bout Willis" from the dictionary, deport George Foreman to Mexico to avoid further confusion with our grills, gain back all the money my family and friends stole from me, be a figurehead to some shady corporate leader (like George Bush)

Why You Should Be President: Schaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadenfreude ♪♪♪