User blog comment:JasonAlexande08/MY NEW STORY!/@comment-1153194-20100511030216

I liked it Jason. It seems like it could be a good concept of a story. I also think you wrote Owen really well, especially where he played with his fingers. That seemed a lot like Owen to me.

Two little errors I noticed were: “Thanks, girl friend.” (which should be girlfriend) and "Due to Sierra's height, she couldn't fully her arm around." (which should be whatever XD) Overall, nicely written (except for what Gideon said, which is no big deal).