User blog:Goldenshane/Mixed Emotions

Hi everyone, Shane here! I think I can say quite easily that this hasn't been an easy year, but one I will always look back on with a smile. As we gaze into the first snows of the winer season (or if you're me and Brandon in freaking volcano Florida praying for the slightest cold front), I think now would be a good time to do something just fun.

Reminiscing about the year.

Guys, this year for me has rough, and I won't get into it, since pretty much 90% of it involves God. I'll sum it up with this: He is so real. I don't really care what anyone says, He's just been so great. I know, crap happens, it happens to everyone. He's still there.

A lot of it actually had to do with self-worth. I've always questioned whether I really had friends, whether anyone truly did love me. But actually, it's funny. Something as paltry as a hot chocolate mug nearly reduced me to tears.

My friend, Mari (pronounced as Mah-dee) bought a snowman coffee mug and some hot chocolate for a white elephant gift my youth group was doing. Now, her and I are really good friends. We've gotten to know each other extremely well over this year, and I can safely say I love this girl as a friend. I know I can confide in her and no, a relationship would never work as she's four years older than me. Won't work. Either way, I got her white elephant gift, and as we were talking, she said, "As you drink hot chocolate from that mug, you can think about our awesome friendship."

Well, Mari, I did. It's awesome.

I'm not normally the type to get all, lovey-dovey like that. Might surprise you, but I'm not always this happy guy. Joyful, yes. Happy, no. Difference there. Either way, I've found that I am in fact loved. I knew my family and God did, but now it's cemented. Sorry, I really can't help but reference God in this.

Anyway, I suppose another thing I have to bring up is this: Shane's death. No, I didn't die. XD But alas, my dog, Shane, did. I'm still not fully over it, but I understand fully it's just life. Everything dies, and it comes up fast. Shane's was expected, at the very least. But it didn't soften the blow. He was my best friend. No matter what mood I was in, he brightened it up. He always wanted to please us, and just loved being with us. I'll really miss that dog. He truly was a golden Shane.

So that brought up another question: Should I change my username? The answer is easy, no. Shane is still a part of me. Sure, maybe he's not on my feet, but he's with me. I have the memories, and I believe that a few scraps of hair are floating around somewhere. And besides, with my new dog, what would I use? Chocolate Manny? Manny de Chocolate? Manny's an adorable chocolate lab/Shar-pei mix. I call him a Sharpador! YAY SHARPADORS! You know, rhymes with a matator. A bull fighter.

Any who, I guess another thing is fanifiction. I know I'm behind on Fiji, but I am not canceling it. Sure, it might take me two years to complete it, but it'll get done. I love it too much. That, and I'm loving what's coming with it.

However, there's another one that's taking charge. It's a Soul Calibur fanfic. A giant one. Basically, it'll follow every character through out the entire scope of Soul Calibur. A mega-fic. This one'll likely take me years, perhaps a decade. But it'll be worth it if I actually manage to do it. XD

This is different then the Christmas blog I'm going to do. This is just a look back on the year blog. I think I'll end this blog with something positive: I've found a girl that I'm hopelessly in love with. Any girl advice would be greatly appreciated. (COUGHLAYLAHELPMECOUGH!)

So, now I'm curious. How was your year?