Total Drama: Paradise Beach



Chris McLean, along with his annoying intern, takes eighteen teens to Paradise Beach and makes them compete in beach-related challenges. Who will win? Who will lose? Find out on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!

Contestants
Aquamara

Ariana

Darceline

Drake

Evi

Franz

Janina

Jena

Kamron

Katt

Lana

Luther

Lynetta

"Magic"

N

Perci

Redd

Rosi

Chapter 1- Is This Paradise Beach?!
Chris McLean sat in a lounge chair, a coconut drink in his right hand, asleep.

"Chris?" A cameraman called. "We're rolling."

Chris woke up and threw the drink into the camera. "Leave Chris alone!"

The camera went to static. It came back on to show Chris in a large beach house. "Sunny Paradise Beach!" He began. "A luxurious, beautiful, relaxing, chlorinated artifical mineral water filled beach." Chris chuckled. "Anyway, we've gathered eighteen new contestants to compete in intense beach-related challenges. Every episode, one contestant will be voted out, never to return. The winner will recieve one million dollars! This is Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

About an hour later, a bus pulled up outside the beach house. The first contestant stepped off and into the beach house, a purple-haired girl with clothes to match.

"This is Janina." Chris introduced. "She's not a big talker."

Janina nodded silently and looked down.

A blonde girl stepped off the bus. She walked up to Janina and laughed. "Good morning, freakshow."

Janina looked down sadly.

"This is Jena." Chris announced nervously. "She just looooves to gossip."

"Good morning, McLean." Jena greeted. "How are your..."

"Don't say it!" Chris pleaded.

Jena whispered something into Janina's ear. Janina's eyes widened as she stared at Chris, worriedly.

Chris tugged on his shirt collar and failed to realize that the third contestant had arrived. A blonde boy in blue.

"Well?" The boy demanded. "Aren't you going to introduce me?"

"Oh, yeah." Chris remembered. "This is..."

The boy pushed him down. "I'm Perci." He introduced. "You don't get in my path of winning, we won't have any problem."

Perci spat on the two contestants.

The next contestant arrived, a black-haired boy with normal-looking clothes stepped out. "Bonjour." He greeted. "I am Franz." He shook the hands of Jena and Janina, but was kicked in the crotch by Perci. "Ooooooh!" Franz fell to the ground.

Chris stood up, at last. "That was painful."

The next two contestants came up. The two looked similar, but one was blonde and the other had black hair. "Hi, I'm Darceline!" The blonde one said. She pointed to her sister. "This is Lana."

Lana frowned and waved.

The next contestant came out, a beautiful girl with brown hair and a top and skirt. "Hi! I'm Katt."

Chris smiled. "What a beautiful teen."

The next contestant got off and bumped into Katt. "Oh, sorry." He apoligized. "I'm Evi."

Katt blushed and smiled. "You're cute." Katt giggled.

The next contestant got off. A scrwny blonde boy with pink clothes. "Alakazam!" He chanted. The contestants groaned, except for Darceline, who gave a half-frown. "Jerks. I'll slam you into the ground with this magic dust!" He sprinkled mist on Chris's eyes.

"This is 'Magic.'" Chris announced. "Who will NEVER sprinkle mist on me again."

"Magic" frowned.

A blonde boy in a track suit stepped off. "Yo! Prepare to lose!" The boy flexed his muscles, causing the girls to nearly throw up.

"This is Luther." Chris introduced.

Luther smiled as he walked over to Katt. "Hey there, Delilah."

Katt pushed Luther onto the floor. "Get a life, you dork!"

Chris laughed as the next contestant arrived.

A girl with black hair and a preppy outfit. "I'm Lynetta. Enjoy this show will you can, one of us will surely be voted off soon."

Perci frowned and gave a rude hand signal.

Lynetta rolled her eyes and was pushed down by contestant number twelve.

A blue-haired girl with clothes to match stepped off.

"This is Aquamara." Chris announced. "She likes water."

Aquamara nodded. She ran up to the fountain in the center of the room and jumped right in. "Woohoo!" She cheered.

A few contestants laughed.

A black girl with fashionable clothing arrived. "Hey, there! I'm Ariana. My fashion sense is KILLER."

Following Ariana's brief intro, the fourteenth contestant arrived.

A boy with a red mohawk and a red shirt waved to the contestants. "Hey, I'm Drake."

"Yawn." Chris complained. "Hurry up, number fifteen!"

The fifteenth contestant took his cue. A brown-haired boy with a hoodie. "Hey there, ladies! I'm Kamron." Kamron walked up to Katt. "Hey there, hot stuff."

Katt sighed and looked away. "Hey." She put on a disappointed face.

Kamron face-palmed.

An overweight, red-haired boy stepped out. Or at least, tried to. He got stuck in the bus doorway. "Okay, come on. Let's go here."

"This is N." Chris announced.

N fell out and face-planted onto the ground.

The next contestant stepped onto N. He had literally red hair and clothes to match. "I'm Redd. I guess you could say I have a thing for fire." Redd walked up to the fireplace and stared into it. He pulled some coal from his pocket and threw it in.

Aquamara looked at him and frowned. Redd did the same.

A brown-haired girl with a top and skirt came off. "Hey, guys! I'm Rosi!" She shook hands with Chris and each of the contestants. "Woo!"

N was still on the ground. He groaned and got up. "Is this real life?" He asked.

"Well, now that we're all here, we can begin the game!" Chris declared. "Teams and accomedations will be decided tomorrow. For tonight, you will all sleep in this very beach house!"

The contestants cheered.

Chris turned to the camera. "Looks like we're ready for tomorrow." He ensured. "Tune in next time on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 2- The Astounding Race
Chris popped up from what looked like the floor. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," He began. "Our eighteen contestants arrived and found where they will be competing. Some were interesting. Others were boring. And others were... complete failures."

N looked down sadly.

"Well," Chris stated. "See you tomorrow." Chris walked out the door.

The contestants were alone for about two seconds before chaos broke out.

Darceline ran up to Lana. "Lana's my roommate!" She claimed.

The twins went down a hallway to their bedroom.

Perci looked over his fellow compeititors and decided to room alone. He pushed N to the ground and walked to his room.

Katt stepped on N by accident. "Oops! Sorry, Hilbert." She apoligized.

"Wow." N sighed. "Most people aren't that close."

Katt stared at N worriedly.

Evi walked up to Katt. "Roommates?" He asked. Katt nodded and the two began to walk off when Kamron bolted up to them.

"Hey, there." Kamron greeted. "Can I join in?"

Katt and Evi stared at the desperate teen with pity.

"I don't think there's enough room." Katt lied.

Kamron frowned and walked away. "If I can't get in, then no one can." He told himself.

Janina walked up to Katt and Evi shyly. "Do you know where the bathroom is?" She asked timidly.

Katt and Evi smiled. "Of course you can room with us!" Evi assured.

The two took a confused Janina into their room.

Kamron looked on, his eye twitching.

Ariana walked up to Aquamara, who was still in the fountain. "Wanna room?"

Aquamara shook her head and splashed water onto Ariana.

Ariana screamed at the sight of the stain on her shirt. "Help me! I need a stain stiiiiiiiiiick!"

Aquamara frowned sadly.

Redd laughed at Ariana's watery mishap.

Aquamara smirked and splashed water onto Redd's precious fire.

Redd grimaced. "What is your problem?" He demanded.

The other contestants mumbled collectively and went to bed.

Later that night, Lynetta was lying in her bed, with Franz, her roommate, using a computer in their cabin to look up recipes. Lynetta sighed angrily. "You've already found three ways to prepare Chicken Parmesan!" She yelled.

"Yes," Franz admitted. "But I have not found anything on how to properly season it."

"I have an idea!" Lynetta exclaimed and jumped out of bed. "I'll whip up some of my world-famous cookies. Whoever's is is better gets the computer 24/7."

Franz smirked. "You're on!"

The pair ran into the kitchen and began to throw things into bowls.

Luther laid on the ground as Rosi told him a ludicrus story.

"And then the meatball licked my brother's face! So he was like, 'Dude, why can't you be an ice cream cone?!' And then I came in and ate the ENTIRE meatball. True story." Rosi told.

Luther laughed and then got serious. "But, let's hear about me now. I was in this HUGE game y'know?"

Rosi fell asleep after that sentence.

Luther gritted his teeth.

Jena was shown to be watching from the window. She took notes on Rosi's insanity.

The next morning, the contestants woke to Chris's screaming.

"Get your lazy butts to the beach!" He ordered.

The eighteen contestants grumbled but complied.

When all the contestants were lined up on the beach, Chris announced how the teams would be decided.

Chris held up a hat. "If I draw your name out of this hat, you'll be assigned to Team 1." Chris explained.

"Janina."

Janina shyly wondered what other people would be assigned to the team.

"Evi."

Evi waved at Janina.

"Katt."

Katt nodded happily. "I knew the author would put us together. Thanks, SG!"

"Lynetta."

Lynetta groaned, tired from cooking all night.

"Drake."

Drake smiled.

"Rosi."

Rosi squealed and jumped over to the rest of her team.

"You guys are Team Female!" Chris deemed, noticing the amount of girls on the team. "The next six I draw will be Team 2."

"Luther."

Luther cheered stupidly.

"Ariana."

Ariana stared at the stain on her shirt sadly.

"N."

N nodded and went over Luther and Ariana.

"Perci."

Perci smirked and walked over to his team.

"Franz."

Franz walked over to Perci slowly and got kicked in the groin.

"Darceline."

Darceline smiled, but then realized that she was the last one picked. She looked over at Lana longingly.

"Those of you will be Team Perci." Chris announced.

Perci smiled.

"The rest of you: Kamron, Aquamara, Redd, Jena, 'Magic' and Lana, you are Team Beach!"

Darceline stared at Lana again.

"Today's challenge will be simple." Chris began. "All you have to do is plant team flags all over this beach." He handed the teams several flags. "Go!"

The three teams went out to plant flags.

Aquamara and Redd stood side by side, planting flags.

Redd sighed. "We do we have to be so close to a beach?"

Aquamara looked suspicious. "Why'd you even sign up for this show?"

Redd frowned and looked at the ground.

Darceline walked up to Lana. "Hey, Lana, I'm so sorry we're on different teams."

Lana barely looked up. "Meh."

Darceline's eyes filled with tears. "I knew you felt the same way, sissy!" Darceline hugged her emotionless sister.

After an hour, the contestants finished planting flags.

Chris looked out on the beach. "The winners are... Team Female!"

Team Female cheered. Katt and Evi hugged.

"Coming in a close second is Team Perci!"

Perci frowned at his second place finish.

Darceline frowned Lana's losing team.

"Team Beach, looks like you're facing elimination tonight."

The team frowned.

That night, Team Beach sat on strangely placed stumps on the beach. A bus was parked a few feet away. "Team Beach." Chris scolded. "You guys didn't do so well, today. If you do not receieve a seashell, you must board the bus and leave the beach FOREVER."

"The first seashell goes to Kamron."

Kamron smiled and grabbed his reward.

"Aquamara, Redd, you are also safe."

Aquamara and Redd frowned at each other.

"Jena."

Jena smirked.

Chris eyed the bottom two. "The final seashell goes to...

Lana." Lana emotionlessly got her seashell.

"Magic" stood up and yelped. "What did I do?! I helped with the challenge!"

The camera cut back to show "Magic" waving a magic wand at the flags. "Come on! Come on!"

"Time to go, bro." Chris ordered.

"Magic" began to cry and boarded the bus.

Chris shook his head, jokingly. "See you next time on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 3- I've Got Seventeen Tickets To Paradise
The familiar head of Chris McLean peered in from the side. He was dressed as a cupcake, oddly enough. "It's... Super Happy Mega Fun Time Cupcake Dance Party: English Version!" He shouted and began to dance foolishly.

The cameraman began to laugh.

Chris's eyes widened. "Wait, this IS my audition tape for Super Happy Mega Fun Time Cupcake Dance Party, right?" He asked.

The cameraman laughed louder. "Chris, you know you can't audition for an anime, right? And that we're filming TD:PB?"

Chris blushed as bright as a tomato as he walked away slowly.

A teenager ran up to the camera. "Oh, yeah! MrD strikes again!" He ran up to the cameraman and high-fived him. "Daimion pwns!"

The cameraman chuckled. "It sure was a good idea to convince Chris to audition for some anime."

The camera cut to show a still-blushing Chris sitting on the beach. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," He began. "The contestants were split into three teams: Team Female, Team Perci, and Team Beach. Team Female won the challenge in the end and Team Beach voted out the wimp, 'Magic.' Who will be voted this time on Total Drama..."

Daimion chucked a brick at Chris, knocking him unconsious. "Oh, Chris." He snickered.

A weary-looking Team Beach had just completed the hike back from the elimination ceremony. It was still dark. Redd twisted the doorknob to the beach house when Chris pushed his hand aside.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Chris stopped. "Only invincible teams may sleep in the beach house."

"Then where do we sleep?!" Kamron demanded.

Chris pointed to a small shed about a hundred yards away.

Team Beach groaned and walked in the direction of the shed.

Inside the beach house, Katt and Evi were using a karoke machine to make fun of a stupid song.

"It's Friday, Friday, Friday, gotta get drunk on Friday!" Katt sang.

Evi smiled and guffawed.

Janina smiled at the two, while writing in a notebook.

Darceline woke up the next morning to see nothing but her empty room. "Oh, Lana." She sighed to herself. "If only you had won." She peered out the window to see Jena lying by the pool. "Wait... isn't she on Lana's team?" Darceline's eyes widened as she ran out the door.

Darceline burst out the back door and ran up to Jena. "How did you sneak in? Aren't you supposed to be in the shed?"

Jena chuckled, as if Darceline were a little child, telling a ridiculous lie. "Chris isn't around in the mornings. We can do whatever we want."

Darceline smirked, ran out the back door, and went over to the shed.

On the roof of the beach house, Rosi snickered mischeviously.

The camera zoomed out to show Drake lying on his bed, not knowing he was on the roof.

Rosi ran up to Drake's bed and gave it a push. "Fly, baby!" She yelled.

Drake woke up in midair and realized he was falling toward the pool. "Oh my gosh!" He screamed on the way down.

Drake slammed into the pool, splashing Jena all over.

Drake surfaced and climbed out of the pool, shuddering due to the extreme coldness of the pool. "That. Was. Terrifying."

Jena laughed. "Nice one, Rosi!" She called.

Aquamara came in through the door. "Can you do that to me, next?" She asked Rosi.

Darceline walked up to the cabin and got Lana.

"Where are you two going?" Redd asked. "First, Jena sneaks off, then Aquamara, and now Lana?"

Lana shrugged. "The rebellious life is exciting." She stated emotionlessly.

Darceline and Lana had just arrived at the beach house when Chris pulled up in the same bus that had dropped them off on Day 1. "Time to get in, kiddies!" He announced.

The seventeen contestants eventually got on the bus, and began to head away from the beach.

Lynetta stood up on the bus. "Time for head counts." She declared. "One, two, three, four, five... where's Rosi?"

In response, Rosi was shown outside the bus, against the window. "Woo-hoo!" She cheered.

Team Female gasped as Rosi climbed onto the top of the bus.

Rosi squealed in delight as she waved to innocent bystanders.

The bus traveled into a small but beautiful city.

The contestants gasped collectively in amazement.

"Welcome to Paradise!" Chris welcomed. "No, seriously, that's the city's name."

Chris stopped the bus and the contestants got off.

Rosi flipped off the roof.

Chris passed out banners to Lynetta, Perci, and Jena. "Your challenge is to

hang these banners all over the city. Whichever team hangs the most of their team banners, wins."

A pretty girl walked up to Chris. "Hey there, baby." Chris smiled and walked away with the girl.

Lynetta passed flags out to her team. "Go, start planting banners!"

The rest of the team ran to plant banners.

Team Perci got one banner each, except for Perci, who had five. "I can't trust too much respondibility on to you idiots." He explained.

N immediateky face-planted onto the ground. "Dang it." He sighed.

The rest of the team moved to another part of the city.

Team Beach also split up.

The seventeen teens began hanging banners.

Katt hung a banner at a restaurant. "Phew." She sighed. "I hope they let us advertise here."

Evi nodded and hung a banner on the restaurant's billboard across the street. "Our team is waaaaay more important than Pete's Pizza Palooza."

Lynetta and Perci were fighting over a spot on a parked car.

"Go away, you jerk!" Lynetta ordered.

"You think I'm too honorable to punch a girl?" Perci questioned.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't!" Lynetta retorted.

Perci punched Lynetta in the stomach, posted the banner, and ran away.

N was still lying on the floor as Darceline stepped over him.

"Sorry, Johnny." She apoligized.

N nodded.

Lana was sitting blankly on a bench as the rest of Team Beach hung banners.

Darceline walked up to her. "What's wrong, Lana?" She asked.

Lana shrugged and looked down at her banners.

Darceline bit her lip and thought about what she should do.

Aquamara posted a banner onto a docked boat. Redd placed one on a firework shooter, foolishly.

Aquamara laughed as the banner was shot into the air.

Redd rolled his eyes. "Oh, like your boat idea is SO much better." He scoffed.

The boat the banner was on sped away from the city.

The contestants gathered at the plaza when it began to get dark.

Chris was being pushed around by the girl who asked him out earlier.

"Go get a life, you washed-up reality show host!" She yelled and stormed away.

Chris regained his composure and announced the winner. "With the most banners, Team Beach wins!"

Team Beach cheered for their first win.

"Coming in second are our previous challenge winners, Team Female!" Chris added.

Team Female cheered, except for Lynetta who frowned at not being the best.

Team Perci grumbled. Perci screamed in absolute fury.

Team Perci filed in for the elimination ceremony.

Perci frowned and stared forward.

"I've got five marshmallows for the five of you who will be staying another night. The first one goes to... Ariana." Chris said.

Ariana smiled and ate her marshmallow, careful not to get any stains on her outfit.

"Luther, Franz, you two are safe."

Luther and Franz smiled and got their treats.

"Perci, close call for you."

Perci rolled his eyes and ate his marshmallow.

Darceline and N stared down at the final marshmallow.

"N, you epically failed and didn't hang a single banner. Darceline, you're a little too distracted by your sister." Chris pointed out. "The final marshmallow goes to...

...N."

N caught his marshmallow and smiled. "Wow, I didn't go first!" He cheered.

Darceline gasped. "But I was just helping Lana! How can you..." Darceline began to cry. She reluctantly boarded the bus.

"Wow." Chris sighed. "Didn't see that comin'. Tune in next time on Total... Drama... Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 4- Sun, Sand, And Surf
Chris was shown lying on a surfboard, floating leisurely near the coast. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," He began. "I took the contestants into Paradise for a banner-hanging challenge. After a buch of random banner-hanging scenes, Team Beach won and Team Perci became the second team to go to elimination. Sort of surprisingly, Darceline was eliminated. Who will it be this week on Total... Drama... Paradise Beach!" A wave came by and swept Chris away. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!" He shrieked.

Team Beach was celebrating their win with Team Female.

Aquamara was doing a rain dance in front of a window as Redd watched her, laughing and playing with the fireplace.

Aquamara finished the dance and folded her arms at Redd. "Like your fireplace is so much better." She remarked.

Redd rolled his eyes. "Water drowns people." He retorted.

"Fire burns people." Aquamara argued.

Jena sat at a table eating a gourmet steak.

Lana watched her sister's elimination from a window. "Mm. Another one bites the dust." She said emotionlessly.

Jena ran up to Lana. "Lana! Any embarrassing secrets? Embarrassing name?"

Lana shrugged. "My full name is Lana Aurora Van Queen."

Jena nodded. "Favorite color?"

Lana shrugged again. "Colors are nothing but the useless art of life."

Jena sighed and shook her head.

Katt and Evi sat on the couch, talking about their lives at home.

"My parents are always asked out by random people when they're not together!" Katt told Evi.

Evi chuckled. "My parents always argue about the benefits of having me." He blushed.

Katt and Evi both laughed.

Kamron glared at Evi in envy.

The next morning, Team Perci sat in their shed sadly.

Perci stood up. "We need to win the next challenge!"

Luther rolled his eyes. "Thanks a lot, Captain Obvious."

Perci punched Luther in the stomach. "Anyone else wanna say something?"

Ariana raised her hand. "Can I go to the beach house for some clean clothes?"

Perci walked over to Ariana. "No!" He screamed and punched Ariana in the stomach.

Franz ran out. "Is the challenge ready yet?!" He pleaded.

The contestants eventually went over to the beach for the challenge.

Chris was shirtless and was wearing a seashell necklace. "Welcome to da beach, brothas! Sistas!"

Many of the contestants stared at Chris blankly.

Chris frowned and explained the challenge. "Today's challenge is a beach classic: Surfing!" Chris pointed to three pools behind him. "These are surf simulators. You have half an hour to prepare. Team Female, you will need to sit one of your players out."

Janina raised her hand and went back to the beach house.

Chris left the beach.

"Who knows how to surf?" Lynetta asked.

Evi raised his hand.

Lynetta face-palmed. "Looks like we need to teach Drake, Rosi, and Katt to surf."

Evi nodded. "I call Katt!"

Lynetta nodded and took Drake.

Katt was shown failing at surfing in every way imaginable.

"Keep trying, Katt!" Evi encouraged.

Lynetta came up to Evi. "I have an idea." She suggested. "Why don't we hope Chris excuses Katt from the challenge for being pathetic?"

Katt came out of the pool. "I have an idea too." She said to Lynetta. "Why don't you take this surfboard and shove it up your..."

"Woah! Woah! Woah!" Evi interrupted. "Let's stay calm."

Lynetta nodded triumphantly.

Team Beach put all their faith in Aquamara.

Redd stared at the water and shuddered.

Aquamara continued to surf professionally.

Jena and Kamron also surfed fairly well while Lana sat on the sand blankly.

Team Perci was practically a dictatorship.

"Okay, I'm going for the big scores!" Perci yelled.

The other four teammates nodded.

Chris came back for the rest of the challenge.

"First match-up!" Chris ordered. "Rosi, Jena, and N!"

The three contestants got on their boards and headed out to the waves.

A wave swept the contestants up. Rosi and Jena performed adequately while N failed after two seconds.

The wave settled down as Chris rated the contestants' perfomances. "Rosi gets a six, Jena also gets a six, and N gets a... 1 Out of ten, of course."

Perci twitched.

"Next, we have Lynetta, Kamron, and Luther!"

Luther smiled.

The three contestants rode the waves once more.

Lynetta did great, Kamron did adequate, and Luther excelled.

"Lynetta gets an eight, Kamron gets a five, and Luther gets a ten!" Chris anounced.

"Next match-up! Katt, Lana, and Franz!"

The three rode the waves.

Katt did poorly, Lana did adequately, and Franz did well.

"Katt gets a one, Lana gets a five, and Franz gets a seven."

"Next match-up: Evi, Aquamara, and Ariana!"

The three rode the waves.

Evi and Aquamara excelled, and Ariana did adequately.

"Evi and Aquamara get tens, and Ariana gets a six."

"Final match-up: Drake, Redd, and Perci." Chris announced.

The three rode the waves.

Drake did adequate, Redd refused to ride in the first place, and Perci's board broke when he swam out.

"Final scores!" Chris declared. "Drake gets a five, and Redd and Perci get zeroes by default. Team Female finishes with thirty, Team Beach with twenty-six, and Team Perci made twenty-four."

Perci scowled.

The two winning teams smiled and high-fived each other.

"Team Perci, I'll see you at elimination." Chris reminded.

Katt and Evi were talking in the beach house again.

Kamron sighed and shook his head.

There was a knocking at the door.

Kamron held his head down and answered the door.

Ariana was the one at the door.

"Hey, I was wondering if I could get my clothes?" She asked.

Kamron looked down. "Sure." He said sadly.

Ariana frowned. "What's wrong, Kamron?"

"Katt and Evi are wrong!" He answered. "They're the perfect couple. I have a huge crush on Katt, but she would never go out with me."

"Why wouldn't she? You're smart, funny, and cute!" Ariana blushed.

Kamron stared at Ariana. "You sure?"

Ariana nodded.

Kamron kissed Ariana passionately on the lips.

Ariana gasped.

Kamron smiled for his first relationship.

Team Perci was at the elimination ceremony.

"I have four seashells for the four of you who stay another day." Chris told. "The first one goes to Luther."

Luther got his seashell.

"This next one's for Franz."

Franz smiled and got his seashell.

"N, you are safe."

N gasped in disbelief and grabbed his seashell.

Perci and Ariana looked anxious.

"The final seashell goes to...

...Perci."

Ariana stood up, stunned. "But... I..." She stammered.

Ariana began to tear up and boarded the bus.

Perci looked on mischieviously.

Chris looked down. "Well, that was nice." He said sarcastically. "Tune in next time."

Chapter 5- Endurance: Paradise Beach
Chris was shown flying over Paradise Beach on a hanglider.

The cameraman could be heard screaming, supposedly on a hanglider as well.

"Phil." Chris scolded. "When are you going to get over your fear of heights?"

The cameraman, supposedly named Phil, started whimpering softly.

Chris face-palmed and began the recap. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach, we had a classic surfing compeition. After five trials, Team Female won the challenge and Team Perci was sent to elimination for the second time in a row. And just after she and Kamron hooked up, Ariana got sent home. Who will join 'Magic,' Darceline, and Ariana in the loser list? Find out right now on Total... Drama... Paradise Beach!"

Daimion came by on a hanglider and shot a rock at Chris. It made a hole in his hanglider.

Chris noticed the hole and began to descend quickly. He yelled death threats at Daimion as he hit the ground.

Daimion snickered and high-fived Phil.

Kamron looked out the window of the beach house, waiting for Ariana.

Katt and Evi looked at him contently.

Kamron's eyes lit up as he saw Team Perci heading for the shed.

His face dropped to a confused expression, as he counted the four remaining members. "Perci, Luther, Franz, N..." He observed.

Katt bit her lip and sighed, knowing what had happened.

The color drained out of Kamron's face. "B-but... w-why would they..." He stammered. He turned around to look at Katt and Evi.

Evi got up. "I think I know who can give us an answer." He sighed. He walked up to Jena disapprovingly.

Jena rolled her eyes. "I'm utterly flattered that you think I caused such an elimination." She stated. "Well, I did."

Kamron scowled and jumped at Jena. He punched her in the chest, getting no reaction.

Jena giggled. "How cute. That's how the game works, kid. You knock people out of the ring and then the last one standing gets a million bucks."

Kamron's eye twitched as he went to bed sadly.

"How did you even pull it off?" Evi asked.

A flashback was shown.

Jena ran up to Perci the night before.

"Perci, I have something you may want to see." Jena called evilly.

Perci raised one eyebrow and looked at Jena curiously.

Jena held up a camera and played a video of the scene with Ariana and Kamron.

Perci scowled and stared at Ariana angrily.

The camera cut back to the present.

Janina looked at Jena disapprovingly as she wrote something in a notebook.

A loud thump made her drop her notebook.

"Aw, man!" N cried in the distance. "Fell down again!"

Jena walked over and reached for the notebook, only to have it snatched away by Redd.

Redd smiled at the notebook's contents. "Nicely written, purple girl." He said to Janina. He cleared his throat and read the story in a valley girl accent. "'The Diary Of Jena, Chapter Five. Oh my grod, I, like, so totally pwned this loser chick last night. Like, she was kissin' her new BF, when I came in and videotaped 'em. So, like, the girl went home, crying. Oh my grod! I am so smart, and pretty, and popular, and cool, and, oh my grod, I have to go ruin more lives! Bye, ya loser!'" Redd laughed nasally to finish the chapter.

Jena stared at the notebook in disbelief. "I, like, so, totally do not talk like that, ya losers!" She yelled and went to bed.

Janina and Redd laughed and high-fived each other.

Aquamara sprayed Janina with water.

Janina shrieked and went to change.

Redd stared at Aquamara in sheer anger. "I finally get a friend, and you soak her?" He asked.

Meanwhile, Drake was finally getting his revenge on Rosi.

Drake walked up to Rosi and took out some circular candies. "Oh, Rosi." Drake started devastatedly. "I have so many candies, and no one to share them with!"

Rosi began to cry. "That's so sad..." She took the rest of the candies as Drake grinned.

Rosi smiled before falling unconsious to the floor.

Drake chuckled. "Oh, revenge is sweet." He snickered.

Team Perci was in their shed the next morning.

Perci had gone mad with winning. "We have to win!!!! If we lose one more time, we'll have half as many members as Team Female!"

Franz finally worked up the courage to stand up to Perci. "You know what?" He retorted.

Perci's eyes narrowed as he waited for what Franz "knew."

"That you have gone insane!" Franz yelled.

"Who says you haven't?!?!" Perci screamed.

"Allez au diable!" Franz remarked in French.

Perci scowled. "You're lucky I don't know French."

Franz smiled.

Luther chuckled. "I don't know French either, but I think you just said something insuting!" He laughed.

Perci ran up to Luther and threw him out the window.

Luther could be heard screaming on the ground.

Franz and N looked at Perci, terrified to the point of not speaking.

N belched loudly.

Perci scowled again and punched N in the gut, making him fall onto Franz.

The three teams gathered on the beach for the challenge.

Fifteen sticks were set standing up in the water.

"Today's challenge is going to be a test of endurance." Chris explained. "You all will have to stand with one foot on a stick. If you get too uncomfortable, just drop out. Last one standing earns their team invincibility and a season's supply of Chris McLean brand hair gel.

The contestants groaned.

The contestants swam out to the sticks and took spots.

Janina was as still as possible, keeping perfect balance.

Katt looked at Janina in disbelief. "Wow, Janina, you're really good at this." She complimented.

N fell into the water, his foot throbbing.

Perci rolled his eyes.

Drake jumped into the water. "I couldn't take one more second of that." He explained.

Katt lost her balance and fell into the water. "Aw, man!" She sighed.

Aquamara jumped into the water. "Oh, water, I just couldn't stay away!" She cried.

Redd rolled his eyes.

Kamron fell into the water after fifteen minutes.

Lynetta fell in after twenty minutes.

Evi fell in shortly after Lynetta.

"Thirty minute mark!" Chris called.

Lana fell in shortly after this announcement was made.

Franz fell in after the thirty-five minute mark.

Jena smiled. "Hey, Janina!" She called.

Janina became distracted and lost her balance.

Janina floated angrily in the water before shaking Jena's stick until she fell in.

Luther lost all feeling in his foot and fell in.

Only Rosi, Perci, and Redd remained now.

Rosi started switching feet frantically. "Hah-hah! Woo! This rocks!" She cheered.

Team Female cheered for Rosi loudly.

Rosi suddenly stopped and fell into the water, unconsious.

"What the?" Lynetta gasped.

Drake blushed. "I didn't think about the delayed effects..." He sighed.

"Team Perci and Team Beach both win!" Chris announced.

Perci yowled with happiness and jumped in.

Redd stood on the stick paralyzed, afraid to go into the water.

Team Female showed up to their first elimination ceremony.

"Team Female." Chris greeted. "It's your first time here. Five seashells I have for five team members. The first one goes to Rosi."

Rosi grabbed her seashell.

"Evi."

Evi grabbed his seashell.

"Katt."

Katt grabbed her seashell.

"Janina."

Janina grabbed her seashell.

Lynetta and Drake looked at one another, anxiously.

"The final seashell goes to...

...Lynetta."

Lynetta sighed in relief and grabbed the last seashell Chris had.

Drake looked up at his teammates. "I... understand." He sighed.

Drake walked over to the bus, disappointedly.

"That's all for today!" Chris closed. "Tune in next week for Total...Drama... Paraside Beach!"

Chapter 6- Paradise Beach Goes Hollywood
Chris was sitting in a dark bedroom, presumeably his, looking through a fashion magazine. The camera zooms in and it was Chris modeling in the magazine. Tears fell from Chris' eyes. "I miss those days..." He wept. "The days when I was...beautiful." Chris began to cry loudly. Phil and Daimion snickered behind the camera.

"When was that, the 1970s?" Daimion asked. He and Phil continued to laugh.

Chris pulled himself together and began the recap. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach, the endurance challenge tested our contestants' physical stamina and strength. Things heated up between Kamron and Jena, and things cooled down for Janina when Aquamara splashed cold water onto her." Chris guffawed loudly.

Phil and Daimion rolled their eyes.

Chris glared at his annoying crew. "Anywho, Team Perci overcame their losing streak and sent Team Female to elimination, where Drake got voted out for sabotaging Rosi, a fellow teammate. Who will be voted out this week on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach?"

Perci was sitting at a table, examining a handful of Chris McLean hair gel bottles he had gotten as a reward. He tossed them out the window. "Completely worthless." He mumbled.

Jena glared over at Perci and walked over. "Perci!" She cried. "How are you doing?" She smirked subtly.

Perci rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Jena?" He asked.

Jena's smile faded as she took out her notepad. "Full name, favorite food, and name a couple interests."

Perci sighed. "Well, I've got nothing she could use against me." He thought aloud to himself.

"Still here." Jena scoffed.

"Perci Tiffany Saint..." He named.

Jena burst into laughter. "A girly middle name and an ironic last name?" She cackled.

Perci scowled but continued. "Lobster, and my interests are beating random people up and making little kids give me money." Perci chuckled.

Jena closed her notepad. "I've heard enough." She walked away and went into the bathroom. She noticed a camera when she went in. "How did we not know there was one of these and why did we not notice sooner?" She mumbled. "Perci's a jerk, to put it in a PG manner." She said to the camera. "But from what I've deducted, he has no manipulating skill at all and is nothing but a cruel bully. With the nerve and strength, he can be easily disposed of at the merge."

Perci sat on the table, staring out at Luther and N, who are playing football outside.

"The game I've been playing involves no skill, strategy or manipulating at all." Perci stated in confessional. "Those three imbeciles on my team are way too stupid to figure it out, but Jena... she's different. If we get to the merge together, the others won't hesitate to vote me out. Time to play a more strategic game. Oh, and of any of you out there get a role in voting someone out and you vote me, I'll find you!" Perci cackled and stormed out of confessional.

N threw a football into the air. It flew about two yards before dropping to the ground.

Luther face-palmed. "You throw the ball with enough force to make it fly far!" He explained. "What's so hard about it?"

"I never understood force." N blushed. "I was never good in English."

Luther picked up the ball and held it up. "Maybe a demonstration will help your tiny brain understand." He threw the ball so far that it crashed threw the roof of the shed Team Female was in.

Luther's eyes widened. "Run!" He yelled.

N panicked and ran inside with Luther.

Lynetta caught the football that crashed through the roof. "What the?" She exclaimed. She ran outside and shook her fist in the air while yelling toward the beach house, "You rotten kids!"

Evi chuckled at Lynetta. "What are you, eighty?" He said jokingly.

The others burst into laughter.

Lynetta angrily threw the ball at Evi's groin.

Evi jumped out of the way in time. "It was just a joke." He assured Lynetta. "

"Yes, let's not be too irritable." Katt advised. "Especially not when we just lost the challenge."

Lynetta and Katt glared at each other.

Rosi's bed had soda cans littered around. Rosi was hopping about with glee. "Oh my gosh, like, why do we have to talk about football and old peeps and jokes and soda and candy and popcorn and rainbows and unicorns and computers..." She fell asleep on the floor, apparently from the sugar rush she had just had.

Lynetta sighed and face-palmed.

The contestants went over to the beach for the challenge the next day for the challenge and found several small movie sets scattered around.

Chris was wearing no shirt and a pair of swim trunks. "Many movies have taken place at a beach." He began. "Your challenge today is to use video cameras and scripts I wrote myself to make a short film."

He passed scripts out to the three teams.

"Have fun." He said and walked away.

Team Female looked over their script.

"A mystery about a rich, stupid woman who accidentally kills her husband, tells a detective, and then the woman kisses the detective's brother." Katt observed.

Lynetta handed her a blonde wig. "Good luck playing the lead." She cackled.

Rosi sprang up to Lynetta. "Ooh! Can I be the serial killer who doesn't really do anything?" She asked.

Lynetta handed her a mask.

Evi walked over. "So I'm the only male role, the detective?"

Lynetta nodded and turned to Janina.

Janina blushed when she found she would be playing the detective's assisstant, whose only line is a musical number.

Lynetta got behind the camera. "Ok, places people!" She cried. The team got into place.

Evi sat a desk, examining some papers. "It was a quiet, dark night." He narrated. "I was looking though some old records, when a hysterical young woman who looked she had a lot of money burst in."

Katt burst in in a blonde wig and dress. She spoke in a fake country accent. "Oh, private eye, I just had this terrible accident! This killa came in and killed mah husband."

Evi put the papers down and stared at Katt. "Well, that sounds a funky mess of funk funky funk...funky style." He burst out laughing. "Who says things like that?" He asked.

Lynetta ran up to Evi. "Just continue!" She demanded.

"Hey!" Katt interrupted, also now out of character. "Lay off him!"

Lynetta narrowed her eyes at Katt. "What relationship do you two have, anyway? You just lay around, hugging."

Katt and Evi stared at each other, deciding it was time to evaluate their relationship.

The team got into place.

Team Perci was being commanded into place by Perci.

"Okay, to pull off this so-called 'Starvation Games' thing work we need four elite fighters recovering from an accident that killed twenty other fighters!" He commanded.

The four of them pulled out fake weapons and got into place.

Luther began crying on the ground. "Why did those other twenty fighters die in that tsunami?" He sighed.

Franz, wearing a pirate outfit, went over to Luther. "Sometimes people die...and stuff."

Perci face-palmed and left the camera on a tripod. "Cut! We're making an adventure movie, not a comedy!" Get it right!" He punched Franz in the gut.

Team Beach was doing a cheap surfing movie, guessing from their cheap surfboard set and pathetic costumes. They were all standing around.

Kamron looked out at the actual sea and thought of Ariana.

Aquamara put her hand on his shoulder. "You'll see her again." She assured.

Kamron sighed and shook his head.

Redd rolled his eyes. "Just...try to stay strong for her." He advised.

Lana stared ahead. "So, do I act like I'm a surfer or whatever?" She asked.

The rest of the team shook their heads.

Chris came back shortly after to see the movies. He popped Team Female's tape into the player and it began.

Evi was shown at his desk with the papers again, this time doing the scene right.

"Who killed him, detective?" Katt's character asked.

Janina's character came out of nowhere. "I'll tell you who killed him..." She sang. "It was you! You! You! You ! You! Girl!"

Katt's charcter gasped and fell to the floor.

Rosi's character came in. "I knew it wasn't me!" She exclaimed.

The movie ended.

The contestants stared forward with wide eyes.

"Who wrote that thing anyway?" Lynetta wondered.

Chris began to sweat and tug on his shirt collar. "Urm...who knows?" He chuckled nervously. "The acting was good, anyway, so you guys get off with a good review."

Team Female cheered.

Chris played Team Perci's tape.

"'The Starvation Games,' the most brutal Games in Lanem!" N narrated.

Luther and Franz performed the scene shown earlier.

N fell to the ground. "Ow," He said dryly. "How will I ever survive?"

Perci came in and "killed" all the others, using special effects and editing. "I win!" He proclaimed.

The movie ended.

Perci scowled at the screen. "Stupid teammates..." He mumbled.

Chris began to laugh. "Epic fail, dudes." He laughed.

Chris played Team Beach's tape.

Team Beach was shown running around, Kamron crying, Aquamara comforting him, Redd stared at the sea in fear, Jena staying away from the team, and Lana trying to surf. This was shown for about two minutes.

Chris face-palmed. "Team Perci, Team Beach, since I can't figure out who sucked the most, I'm going to have Team Female decide."

Team Female cheered, clearly winning the challenge.

Team Beach and Team Perci walked away to let them discuss.

Kamron sat on the beach sadly.

Aquamara sat down with him. "Kamron..." She started. "Is this million worth being away from Ariana? Would you rather quit? No one would look down on you for being romantic."

Kamron looked over at the team, and got an approving smile hiding a devious smirk from Jena.

Chris called the losing teams back. "We've made our decision." He announced. "The winners are... Team Bea..."

"Wait!" Kamron interrupted. "I can't stay here." He confessed. "I'm sorry, but I have to be with Ariana."

Some of the female contestants clapped and sighed sadly.

Perci rolled his eyes.

Chris shook his head. "Your choice, dude. Million bucks on the line here."

Kamron shook his head.

The bus pulled up and Kamron boarded it quietly but happily. "I'm coming, Ariana." He said to himself.

The remaining contestants walked off.

"There's our first quitter!" Chris closed. "Tune in next week for Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 7- Paradise Wrestling Entertainment
Chris was shown staring at a computer screen in the middle of the night. "Email..." He mumbled. "When's Mom going to reply?"

Phil and Daimion snickered off-screen.

Chris stared at the camera. "Hey, viewers." He introduced nervously. "I was just..." He stammered. "Anyway, last time on Total Drama Paradise Beach, the contestants had to make movies from scripts some weird guy wrote..."

Daimion snickered. "That totally describes you."

Chris glared at the camera. "Team Female's acting got them the win, while Team Perci and Team Beach sucked about the same amount. Team Female voted for the win, but Kamron quit to be with Ariana before I could declare Team Beach's second place finish." Chris shook his head and made a clicking noise. "What will happen this week on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach?"

A beeping sound came from Chris' computer. He immediately looked at it. "New email? 'You're the most disgusting man I've ever met.'" He read. "'I can't believe I ever went out with you.' Oh, it's that girl I went on a date with a few days ago." He rolled his eyes and began to type.

Janina was happily writing in her notebook with Rosi skipping around her.

"I am in the story?" Rosi asked eagerly. "Huh? Huh? Am I?"

Janina chuckled and wrote more in the notebook.

Lynetta sat at a TV, flipping channels.

"Dustin Believer punched Suzannah Louisiana in the nose, today." The TV reported.

Lynetta chuckled. "I love it when two-bit stars get catty."

Perci and Franz were arguing at a dinner table.

"You completely screwed up the 'Starvation Games' with your acting!" Franz yelled. "I love that book, even the bit that Chris ripped off."

Perci rolled his eyes. "Don't you know how that book ends? Pato from Region 2 kills Natkiss and Keeta!"

Franz's eyes twitched. "No... Pato is tortured by mutant thingys and Natkiss puts him out of his misery. Then she gets out these berries and..."

"Just go and do something with your cake!" Perci interrupted rudely.

Franz picked up a cake that was on the table and walked away.

Lynetta laughed at the two. "Looks like your team's ready to fall apart." She was suddenly hit in the face by a tennis ball. "What the?"

N and Luther were outside, playing, or at least, trying to play, tennis.

"You missed that time." N beamed.

"Yeah." Luther confirmed. "Except it was out."

N fell onto the ground. "Dang it."

N stood up and got a ball in the crotch. "Dah!" He groaned and fell down again.

"Keep your tennis balls off my face!" Lynetta commanded.

Luther snickered and Lynetta's wording.

Katt and Evi were on a couch, discussing their relationship.

"Well...um..." Evi stuttered. "How did our relationship start, anyway?"

Katt shrugged. "When you got off the bus on the first day, I just thought you were really cute." She explained.

Evi nodded. "And you seemed pretty nice. And then, we just started hanging out together." He stared at the ground blankly.

Katt smiled. "I have an idea: How about we spend this whole day without interacting with each other and see how we feel at the end of the day?"

Evi nodded.

The two walked away from each other.

Team Beach sat around in the shed.

Jena looked generally bored and stared at her teammates, curiously.

Redd hid under the covers. "I'm not going out there, man." He said, referring to the ocean. "I can't take anymore ocean."

Aquamara went up to Redd. "Why did you sign up for this show, anyway?" She asked.

Redd blushed.

Lana sighed dryly. "Fear is nothing but an evil disease that eats away at the soul."

Redd hid deeper under the covers.

Jena shrugged, seeing no threat to herself.

The contestant met Chris on the beach for the challenge. A wrestling ring was nearby.

"One of the most crucial parts of the classic surf flick is the showdown between the surfer dude hero and the jerky villain over some Mary Sue." Chris explained. "It's usually surfing, but today, we're facing off in the villain's specialty: wrestling!"

Redd sighed in relief. "No water."

Aquamara frowned.

"Since Team Female has one extra member, one of you will have to sit out."

Katt flashed a smile at Evi and went over to sit on the bench by Chris.

"Each match will consist of one team member each. Whichever team has the most victories at the end of the challenge wins. The first match-up is Janina vs. Luther vs. Jena."

The contestants named got into the ring.

"Go!" Chris ordered.

Luther immediately charged up to Jena.

Jena rolled her eyes and held Luther back with one hand. She threw him out of the ring with ease.

Janina looked at Jena with a smile that meant respect.

Jena smiled back. "Nice sportsmanship." She complimented and charged at Janina. Janina dived out of the way.

Jena smirked and kicked Janina several times in the stomach, threw her up into the air, jumped into the air with her, grabbed her, and slammed her into the ground.

"Jena wins!" Chris announced.

Janina flashed the respectful smile as she climbed out of the ring. Jena did the same.

"Next match-up: Evi vs. Perci vs. Lana."

Team Beach face-palmed.

"Go!"

Evi kicked Perci in the shin.

Perci frowned and slammed Evi out of the ring.

Katt gasped.

Perci turned around to Lana, who simply looked up and climbed out of the ring.

"Point to Perci of Team Perci!"

Perci smiled.

"Next match-up: Rosi vs. Franz vs. Aquamara."

The three climbed into the ring.

Aquamara stared at the ring's interior. "So, there's no water at all?"

Rosi knocked Aquamara out of the ring and faced Franz.

Franz stood still. "I refuse to hurt a beautiful woman." He admitted.

Perci groaned.

Rosi pushed Franz out of the ring. "Yesh!!" She cheered.

"Rosi takes it for Team Female. This next match-up will decide the winners: Lynetta vs. N vs. Redd."

Team Perci groaned.

Lynetta got into the ring and climbed onto N's head. She kicked him in the face. "Revenge!" She shrieked. "Revenge!"

Redd sat in the corner and rubbed two sticks together until they light on fire.

Lynetta knocked N to the ground unconsious.

Redd got up and threw the flaming sticks at Lynetta.

Lynetta shrieked as the sticks hit her in the face and made a gash.

"Ohh..." Lynetta groaned on the ground.

"Point goes to Redd! Team Beach wins!"

Team Beach, except for Lana, cheered.

"So, are we going to have some sort of tiebreaker?" Perci asked.

Chris shook his head. "Team Female had more endurance during the challenge." He pointed to Katt. "Katt here didn't get knocked out of the ring or pinned down at all."

"She didn't compete!" Perci argued.

Chris shrugged.

Team Female cheered at their pathetic victory and walked away.

Perci went up to Luther and Franz. "We must vote N at the elimination ceremony." He ordered. "I hate to do it..."

"No, you don't." Luther corrected.

"...But it is for the team's best." Perci ignored.

Team Perci showed up for elimination.

"Team Perci...not a lot of teamwork going on here tonight." Chris scolded. "Perci and Franz are about to kill each other, and Luther is trying to make N not be a total fail."

N frowned.

"The first seashell goes to Franz."

Franz grabbed his seashell calmly.

"Luther, you are also safe."

Luther flashed a thumbs-up at N and grabbed his seashell.

"Perci, N... one of you has spent your last night at Paradise Beach. The final seashell goes to...

...Perci."

Perci smirked and grabbed the final seashell.

N began to tear up. "I knew this would happen eventually." He admitted. "I'd like to thank Luther for trying to make me not be a fail." N fell onto the ground.

He stood up, got a high-five from Luther, and walked over to the bus.

The bus drove away without N on it.

"No!" N yelled. He fell onto the floor and knocked himself out.

Team Perci looked on with concerned expressions.

"He'll be okay," Chris assured. "Who else will get pwned next time on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach?"

Chapter 8- The Taking of Chris McLean
Chris sat in a couch in front of a video game console. He held a large controller in his hands, mashing the buttons.

"Chris." Phil said from off-screen. "Stop getting yourself pwned by that guy in Europe and do the recap."

Chris looked up and pressed a button on the controller.

"Game Paused." The console informed in a robotic monotone.

"I almost had him last time..." Chris mumbled. "Anyway... last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach, the contestants competed in a ruthless series of wrestling matches. After many different forms of attack and epic failures, Team beach came out on top. Team Female finished in second due to Katt's high endurance, and Perci convinced his team to vote N instead of him. What will happen this time on Total..."

Chris was interrupted by the sound of glass shattering.

"What was that?" He pondered.

The sound repeated, along with the sound of rustling and things being knocked down.

Chris' eyes widened as he hid under the couch.

A soft snarl was heard.

Heavy footsteps thumped on the tile floor.

They got louder, presumably coming closer.

Chris had barely enough time to look up before he was bagged by a shadowy figure.

Chris screamed, muffled by the bag he was in.

The shadowy figure punched him in the jaw and knocked him unconsious.

"I will have my revenge..." The figure mumbled. A close-up revealed her face. The woman who had dated Chris five days earlier.

Phil backed away and picked up his cell phone. He dialed 911 before being knocked unconsious by the woman.

Katt and Evi were sitting on the beach, discussing the results of their experiment.

"I felt kind of worried when Perci knocked you out of the ring." Katt said, and put her hand on Evi's lap.

Evi nodded. "And I missed you, too. Even though we've only known each other for about a week, I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with you."

Katt giggled. "Mm-hmm."

Lynetta came up to them in her swimsuit.

"You two have known each other for eight days." She reminded. "Nice job getting by after your relationship fails."

Katt threw a handful of sand into Lynetta's eyes.

Lynetta ran back into the water, eyes burning.

Jena was in the beach house, sitting next to a quiet Janina.

"So, Janina." She asked. "Do you have any allergies or favorite foods?"

Janina shook her head quickly. She pulled a notebook and quickly wrote in it.

Jena sighed. "You're worse than Lana, you know that?"

Janina nodded, obviously not caring.

Jena went over to Rosi.

"Rosi!" She called. "Let's get right down to business. Do you have any secrets?"

Rosi shook her head. She jumped into Redd's arms. "Spin me, spanish-speaking teletubby!" She ordered.

Redd threw Rosi onto the floor.

Jena frowned. "How boring are these people?" She asked in confessional. "No secrets, and Janina wouldn't even tell me her favorite foods. Well, at least there's no threat."

Aquamara was sitting at a table, eating extremely moist food.

"Moist carrot cake." She chuckled. "Moist chocolate cake. Moist...water."

Lana sat across from her, sifting through a stack of photos of her and Darceline. She gave the tiniest smile.

Aquamara's eyes widened at Lana's expression.

Jena ran over and caught a glimpse of Lana's face before she concealed it under her usual expression.

Lana looked up. "What?" She asked dryly.

Jena wrote down notes fiercely in her notepad.

The Team Perci trio sat in their shed, obviously tired of each other.

"We have lost half our members." Perci reminded. "If we could put forward just a little more effort..." His voice trailed off, obviously trying to contain sheer fury.

Franz sighed. "I was treated better by that snooty waitress at Le Pamplemousse than I'm being treated by you."

Perci muttered something dirty under his breath.

Luther was listening to an MP3 player.

"And all you do is listen to your myPod..." Perci mumbled.

Luther barely looked up. "It helps keep me strong while working out." He picked up a dumbbell and started to lift it up and down slowly while singing, "Baby, you're an inferno... go and let your sparks burst..."

"Kary Gerry?" Franz asked.

Luther nodded.

Team Female and Team Beach walked out of the beach house to find three police officers examining the exterior of the beach house.

Team Perci came over to see what was happening.

"What's going on here?" Evi asked one of the policemen.

The tallest one sighed and explained, "We recieved a distress call from a crew member. He was barely consious, but was able to tell us that Chris McLean has been kidnapped by a crazed woman.

Everyone stared at Rosi.

"No, not her." The policeman chuckled.

"We'll take care of things, adolescents." The shortest one assured.

The three climbed into individual police cars and drove away.

Jena's eyes drifted to the bus that is used for transportation. "Should we?" She asked.

The contestants mumbled collectively.

"It's not like we'll get another chance to hunt down a criminal in our teenage years." Redd mumbled.

"Dose anyone know how to drive?" Katt asked.

Lynetta raised her hand.

The contestants stood in silence before charging onto the bus.

Lynetta sat in the driver's seat and slammed the gas as soon as everyone sat down.

Aquamara yelled at the high speed.

The bus soon caught up with the police cars to see they were chasing a red car driven by the criminally insane woman.

The woman scowled at the four vehicles chasing her. She threw a rock at one of the police cars, hitting its engine and causing it to stop.

She backed up and bumped another police car off the road and into the ocean.

The remaining police car contained the tallest officer. He drove up next to the bus. "What are you kids doing?!" He asked Lynetta.

Franz rolled down his window. "We are doing the honorable thing and rescuing our host!" He answered.

"What?!" The policeman asked.

The woman shot a large turtle shell at the police car.

The policeman's car spun out of control and crashed.

Lynetta drove the bus ahead and nearly caught the woman, but she sped away at the last minute.

The bus persued the woman into the city.

She got off of her car and charged into a crowd of people.

"Why are so many people gathered?" Katt asked.

"Apperently, Key$ha's performing." Luther observed.

"Ding-dong, on the bell!" Key$ha sang.

"Who does a concert in the middle of the day?" Lynetta questioned.

The contestants charged into the crowd to find the woman, but she was nowhere to be seen.

The woman was spotted by Lana, who made no comment to warn the others. She calmly walked toward her.

The woman ran onto the stage, pushing Key$ha off in the process.

Key$ha fell into the arms of her fans.

The contestants ran after the woman, who climbed off the stage.

Jena leaned down to talk to Key$ha. "Key$ha! Any juicy secrets about your crush on Canye East?"

Aquamara dragged Jena along with them.

The woman hopped back into her car and sped through the city of Paradise.

The contestants piled into the bus and followed her.

The woman parked in a car dealership full of cars that looked exactly like hers.

The bus parked in front of the indentical cars.

The contestants got off.

"Oh, man!" Luther sighed. "Which car could it be?"

Perci rolled his eyes. "Well, it's definately not the one with Chris' muffled screams coming out of the trunk." He walked up to the woman's car and banged on the locked door.

The woman sped out of the car dealership.

The bus followed her back to the beach.

"She's returning here?" Redd scoffed.

"Well, at least we know how to work our way around this place." Lynetta reminded.

The contestants charged out of the bus to find the woman speeding toward the water on foot.

She held the bag Chris was in. "Now you will finally feel my pain." She growled.

Rosi ran into the beach house, instead of going toward the beach. She pulled out a tranquilizer gun and ran to join her fellow compeititors. She shot the woman in the back with a dart.

The woman groaned and fell to the ground.

The eleven other compeititors stared at Rosi.

"Yes." Rosi said in a surprisingly calm voice. "I finally got her after a week of undercover work."

Team Female's eyes widened.

The three police officers came and threw the woman into one of the cars.

"U-undercover work?" Evi stammered.

Rosi blushed. "Yeah, the thing is... I was sort of an undercover cop the whole time."

"But what about the insane act?" Lynetta asked.

"Just an act." Rosi admitted.

"What about your cousin being Izzy?" Katt demanded.

Rosi bit her lip. "That part's true. It's so embarrassing having a relative on the other side of the law..."

Chris wrestled his way out of the bag. "Your entire bio was a lie?!" He asked.

"Yep." Rosi confirmed. "I signed up for this because that girl was targeting you for a while and wanted to catch you here. Since you were spending the next month here, I decided to sign up."

"Wait..." Chris gasped. "You knew all of this would happen?! And you let it happen?!"

Rosi blushed. "Well, I kind of have to take care of things in town, now." She waved to her former fellow contestants. "Bye."

Rosi was now in a police uniform, going back to Paradise.

The other contestants gave her an awkward good-bye as she climbed into the police car.

"That was surprising." Katt summarized.

"Wow, what a shocker." Chris closed. "What else will happen on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 9- Sink Or Swim
Chris was standing in a closet, obviously terrified and shivering.

Phil sighed off-screen, annoyed. "Chris." He sighed. "The lady's in jail. Get over it."

Chris nodded. "Do the recap, Chris." He told himself. "Anyway..."

Phil mumbled something rude under his breath.

"Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," Chris began. "I was kidnapped by a scary criminal stalker fan lady. The kids set out to rescue their beautiful host, and after ruining a Key$ha concert and going into a car dealership, Rosi caught the chick at the scene of the kidnapping. Then, she revealed her true identity and left the show, in a tragedy. What else will happen this time on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

"That was good." Phil said sarcastically.

Chris nodded doubtfully.

Franz was frosting a cupcake, sitting at a table. He had his tongue sticking out, showing a focused face.

Perci walked over and saw the drawing on the cupcake. "Lana?" He asked.

Franz blushed and threw the cupcake to the side, in an effort to hide it.

Lynetta walked up with a face full of frosting. "If you ever want to throw pastrys at my face, don't." She peeled the cupcake off of her face and put it on the table. She looked at for a moment. "Huh." She stated. 'You made her look better than she actually does." She chuckled.

Luther was sitting in a chair, watching a video online. The camera zoomed in to show that it was a video of Key$ha being pushed into the crowd by the criminal, what had happened the day before.

"You'll help me vote for Perci, right?" Franz asked him.

Luther simply laughed at the video and didn't pay attention.

"You'll help me vote off Franz, right?!" Perci demanded.

Luther held up a football and began cuddling it, not paying attention.

Perci and Franz rolled their eyes.

Evi and Katt were playfully using umbrellas to "battle" each other on the beach.

"Nice umbrella skills." Evi chuckled.

"Right back at you." Katt giggled.

Janina was lying near them on a towel, calmly writing in her notebook. She occasionally laughed at their antics.

Katt put her umbrella down. "You win." She sighed. "How 'bout a victory kiss?"

Evi smiled and kissed Katt.

Janina rolled her eyes playfully.

Aquamara was shown in the beach house, putting a bucket of water on top of Redd's bedroom door.

Redd was heard humming from inside.

Aquamara smirked and hid in a potted plant.

Redd opened the door and was soaked in water. He began screaming and running around as his eyes widened.

Aquamara laughed loudly.

Redd came back with a baseball bat and smashed the bucket.

Aquamara continued to laugh.

Redd turned to her. If looks could kill. "Why did you do that?!" He yelled. "You know I'm afraid of water!"

Aquamara grinned. "I love that prank. Pulling it and falling for it."

Redd hyperventilated. "You are evil."

"And you proved that by setting the bucket I used on fire?" Aquamara inquired.

"It's not on fire." Redd turned around to see that the bucket was on fire. He smiled.

Aquamara walked away and sighed.

Jena was rifling through a stack of Lana's pictures of her and Darceline. Lana looked exactly like Darceline in most of them.

Lana walked up to her. "Why are you invading my personal space?" She asked dryly.

Jena ignored her and continued to look at the photos.

The three teams met Chris at the beach for a challenge.

Chris walked up in a speedo.

Many of the female contestants covered their eyes, and Katt threw up on Perci.

Chris frowned. "Anyway, today's challenge is a regular water activity...with a twist." Chris explained. "Each team will have to race to that big rock over there." Chris pointed to a big rock floating in the ocean in the distance. "The twist? Each team will be handcuffed together."

The contestants' eyes widened.

Redd began to hyperventilate, presumably at the contact with water. He began flailing around on the floor.

Aquamara rolled her eyes.

The contestants were now handcuffed and ready to go as they got ready to swim.

"And...go!" Chris announced.

The teams jumped into the water.

"Listen up, team." Lynetta ordered. "If we fly in a V formation, like geese, we'll be faster!"

"There aren't enough of us to form a full V." Evi pointed out.

Lynetta's perky smile dropped. "Well, Katt's strength is half of you or Janina's, so things should go smoothly."

Katt glared at Lynetta. "Tell me the Courtney clone with a butt bigger than Chris's ego did not just say that!"

Lynetta glared back. "You're one to talk..."

"You want to go, Lynetta?"

"Bring it, Katt!"

Evi stopped them from mauling each other, and they began their steady swimming.

Team Beach was being pulled to victory by Aquamara.

Jena sat back, floating and being pulled along, reading "The One Thousand And One Greatest Secrets of Lady Googoo."

Lana stared forward with her usual dry expression.

Redd was clinging onto Lana's back, avoiding all contact with the saltwater. Each time a tiny drop came his way, he dodged with cat-like reflexes.

"I pity da foo' who fears water!" Aquamara called playfully.

"I pity da foo' who pities me." Redd retorted.

Team Perci had decided to just flail around and move slowly to the finish.

"We're in last place!" Perci exclaimed.

Team Beach suffered a not-so-minor predicament when Redd fell into the ocean.

Redd began to flail around in the saltwater.

Aquamara failed to continue with Redd holding them back. "What's going on?"

"Redd's spazzing out." Jena replied. She attempted to rescue him, but was pushed away. She groaned and continued to attempt to rescue him.

Team Perci passed them, making it into second place.

"Hurry up." Lana ordered emotionlessly.

Jena slung Redd onto her back and the team began their home stretch.

Team Female made it to the finish, with Chris awaiting them.

Chris pointed at them. "Team Female takes first!"

Team Female cheered.

Katt hugged Evi.

Lynetta looked somewhat envious at Katt and looked for someone to hug. She hugged Janina.

Janina blushed and stared at Lynetta awkwardly.

Team Perci and Team Beach were about tied for second place.

Aquamara pulled ahead of them, dragging the rest of her team with her.

Team Beach arrived at the rock.

"And Team Beach wins!" Chris confirmed. "Team Perci will be heading to elimination for the fourth time."

Team Beach cheered.

Perci groaned.

"Vote for Franz." Perci ordered Luther.

"Vote for Perci." Franz ordered Luther.

Luther sighed.

Team Perci exchanged angry and uncomfortable looks at the elimination ceremony.

"Team Perci." Chris scolded. "This is your fourth time here. Tonight, three will become two. The only person not in the bottom two is Franz."

Franz got his seashell and smirked at Perci.

"Luther. Perci. This is the final seashell of the evening, and it goes to...

...Perci."

Perci smirked and grabbed his seashell.

"B-but..how?" Luther asked.

"What happened?" Franz questioned.

"Looks like Luther voted for himself." Chris guffawed.

"I couldn't decide!" Luther admitted.

Perci laughed evilly and sadistically.

"I demand a revote!" Luther yelled at Chris.

Chris smirked and snapped his fingers.

Two muscular interns came in and took Luther to the bus.

Luther screamed as he left.

"That's it for this week." Chris closed. "Tune in next time for more Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 10- That Volleyball Chapter
Chris was shown spiking volleyballs on a beach court. The volleyballs came one after another, like snowflakes on a cold December morning. Chris spiked each one with professional-like skill.

Chris turned to the camera. "Oh, hey there." He winked. "Just..." He spiked a ball. "Fighting..." He spiked another ball. "A tough..." He spiked another ball. "...Opponent."

The balls stopped coming.

"Looks like he's done." Chris bragged.

"Yeah." Phil scoffed sarcastically from off-screen. "Nice job beating the serving machine."

The camera showed a volleyball serving machine on the other side of the court.

Chris glared at the camera. "Anyway, it's time for the recap." He ordered hastily.

Phil sighed tiredly.

"Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," Chris began. "The contestants were handcuffed together for a swimming race. The three teams each had different methods of competing. Team Female competed with teamwork, Team Beach competed with only Aquamara, and Team Perci...just flailed around. In the end, Team Female took first, and Team Perci went to elimination numero quatro. After a mix-up, Luther went home. What will happen this time on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

A single volleyball hit Chris on the head and knocked him out.

"I thought it ran out of balls." Phil laughed. "Oh well, never look a gift horse in the mouth." He continued to laugh.

Katt and Lynetta were shown mashing the buttons on their respective video game controllers the night after the swimming challenge.

The camera showed the television screen which was showing two muscular men with Katt and Lynetta's heads edited onto them wrestling.

"This is what you get for calling me a moron!" Katt grunted loudly.

"Don't act like you haven't been called worse!" Lynetta remarked back.

Katt mashed the buttons harder.

Aquamara was splashing around in a nearby fountain. She cheered and accidentally made a drop spill out of the fountain.

The drop flew onto the plug of the game system Katt and Lynetta were playing on. The game system shorted out, and the TV switched off.

Katt groaned.

"Keep the water in the fountain!" Lynetta ordered Aquamara. "I was about to win!"

Katt rolled her eyes, sat down, and began combing her hair.

"Of course, the girl who everyone thinks is beautiful tries to make herself more beautiful." Lynetta sighed matter-of-factly.

"Well, maybe, a little makeup keeps envy off me." Katt stated.

Lynetta rolled her eyes. "Go to the reality show where you belong, Canada's Next Top Vain Model."

Katt stood up. "Forget the game, let's go in real life."

Katt and Lynetta charged at each other, until Evi and Janina held them back, respectively.

"Whoa, whoa." Evi coaxed. "We don't need one less team member."

Katt and Lynetta glared at each other.

Janina looked over at Redd and waved shyly.

Redd waved back cheerfully.

Katt and Lynetta mumbled profanities and went to bed.

Redd walked up to the game system, which randomly lit on fire.

He turned to Aquamara. "Nice job." He complimented. "That's a quality fire."

Aquamara rolled her eyes. "Why are you really here? I doubt it's to make small talk."

Redd frowned annoyedly. "I'm want to conquer my fear of water.You're going to help me."

Aquamara guffawed hysterically.

Redd glared at her.

"Oh." Aquamara snickered. "You were serious."

Aquamara and Redd were seen on the beach.

Redd stared nervously at the sea.

Aquamra stared at Redd quizzically. "Just... touch it!" She ordered contently.

Redd slowly walked toward the water.

His toes slowly touched a small drop of water. Redd immediately panicked and ran into the beach house, panting.

Aquamara face-palmed. "We'll try again in the morning." She mumbled to herself. She smirked and ran toward the beach house.

Aquamara was seen kneeling on Redd's bed in the morning as he woke up.

Redd was taken back at the unexpected sight of her.

"You ready to conquer your fear of the ocean, Redd?" Aquamara asked calmly.

Redd nodded in a crescendo. "Okay." He sighed nervously.

"Great!" Aquamara exclaimed. She tore a tile off of the floor and the entire room fell apart, revealing the miles of ocean around them.

"What the?!" Redd screamed. "Are you insane?!"

Redd hung onto his lighter for dear life.

"You can't be serious, this is what you asked for!" Aquamara cheered.

Redd sat on the floor and slowly cradled back and forth.

Aquamara sighed disappointedly, grabbed a paddle, and began rowing back to shore.

Jena was seen putting on a brown wig, sunglasses, and a sparkly green dress outside the beach house.

She knocked on the door.

Aquamara opened the door.

"Hello..." Aquamara greeted awkwardly.

"Hey there!" Jena greeted in a false country accent. "My name is Felicity Von Twinklepuff, and i'm doing a survey on fear for my science class."

Aquamara nodded, stifling a chuckle.

Jena sat down next to Redd. "What are you afraid of, boy?"

Redd began babbling about his fear of water.

Perci and Franz, the only two remaining members of Team Perci, were in the shed.

Franz was sifting through his suitcase.

Perci looked over at him. "Franz." He called.

Franz ignored him.

"Look, Franz." Perci began. "I don't like you any more than you like me, but I don't want to remembered as the worst team in history! Now, the merge should be coming any day now. If you could cooperate with me for one to three more days, we'll never have to talk to each other again!"

Franz looked up slightly. "...Fine." He said under gritted teeth. "Let's be friends... for one day."

Perci and Franz shook hands, and went to sanitize afterwards.

Lana stood blankly next to the shed.

Franz saw her from the window and began to sketch her likeness on a cupcake.

The contestants went down to the beach to meet Chris for the challenge.

"Contestants!" Chris greeted. "Today's challenge is a beach classic: volleyball. Each team will be split into pairs, except for Team Perci, which already is a pair."

Franz and Perci glared at Chris.

"Each pair will be decided by this 'randomly' selected box of paper cards." Chris explained. He drew two cards. "Team Female has Katt and Lynetta and Evi and Janina for their pairs."

Katt and Lynetta face-palmed simulteously.

"Team Beach's pairs are Aquamara and Redd and Jena and Lana."

Jena sighed and looked at Lana.

Aquamara frowned. "Where'd Felicity Von Twinklepuff go?"

Jena stifled a snicker.

"And Team Perci makes five pairs. Since we have one too many to make a tournament, we will have to eliminate one team from the challenge in a match." Chris drew two cards. "Team Perci will be going up against Katt and Lynetta, losers are out of the challenge."

Katt and Lynetta reluctantly went over to a nearby court.

Team Perci did the same.

"First one to five points wins. Ready... set... go!" Chris called and threw the volleyball at Perci.

Perci served the ball toward the girls.

Katt and Lynetta both dived for the ball, bumped into each other, and missed.

Chris pulled out a small scoreboard and set it to 0-1.

Katt and Lynetta glared at each other.

"Nice move, knucklehead!" Lynetta insulted.

"Oh, what a nice girl. They didn't even have to censor that sentence." Katt groaned sarcastically.

Lynetta leaped at Katt while Franz spiked the ball to the right of them.

0-2.

Katt and Lynetta began arguing indistinctly.

Perci and Franz scored again.

0-3.

Perci served the ball again, and this time Katt spiked it back.

The ball hit the ground, failing to make it to the other side of the court.

0-4.

Lynetta face-palmed. "Spike it harder next time!"

Katt frowned angrily.

Franz spiked the ball and Katt spiked it back.

The ball flew off the court and hit Chris in the head.

0-5.

"Dah!" Chris moaned. "Team Perci wins the first round!"

Team Perci cheered.

Katt and Lynetta went back to their team.

"No comment." They said simulteuously.

"Next match-up!" Chris announced. He drew two cards. "Perci and Franz against Jena and Lana."

Jena groaned.

Team Perci showed hints of smiles.

The four contestants got on the court.

Chris threw the ball at Jena.

Jena spiked the ball at Franz.

Franz missed.

1-0.

Perci momentarily glared at Franz, but then politely looked away.

Perci spiked the ball at Lana, who made no effort to spike it.

Jena scowled.

1-1.

Franz repeated this strategy.

1-2.

Jena leaped over toward Lana, ready to spike the ball.

Perci served the ball to where Jena was standing before. |

1-3.

Jena standed in the middle of the court.

Perci passed it to Franz.

Franz served the ball to Lana before Jena couls run over.

1-4.

Jena simply sat down and frowned. "Just win."

Perci shrugged and served the ball away from Jena and Lana.

1-5.

"Team Perci wins the second part of the challenge!" Chris declared.

Jena and Lana went back to the sidelines.

Chris drew two more cards. "Aquamara and Redd against Evi and Janina. Whichever team loses this match will have all the player out of the challenge and go to elimination."

The team stared nervously at one another.

The four took their places.

Chris threw the ball at Evi.

Evi served the ball at Redd, who missed.

1-0.

Aquamara looked over at Redd. "Don't get distracted by the water!" She reminded.

Janina served the ball and hit a distracted Redd.

2-0.

Evi served the ball.

Aquamara spiked the ball back.

Janina spiked it back.

Redd missed.

3-0.

Redd looked over at the water and sighed nervously.

Aquamara frowned sadly.

Evi served the ball.

Redd missed again.

4-0.

"One more point, and Team Beach will go to elimination!" Chris declared.

Redd stared forward intensely.

Aquamara nodded at him, creating a perfect harmony.

Janina served the ball.

Aquamara passed the ball to Redd.

Redd spiked it to Janina, who missed.

4-1.

Redd served the ball in between Evi and Janina.

4-2.

Aquamara served the ball to Evi.

Evi spiked the ball back at her.

Aquamara passed the ball to Redd.

Redd caught Evi off-guard.

4-3.

Aquamara served the ball to Janina, who missed.

4-4.

"Match point!" Chris called.

Katt and Lynetta and Jena looked worriedly at Evi and Janina and Aquamara and Redd, respectively.

Redd served the ball hard and caught Team Female's pair off-guard.

4-5.

"Team Beach is safe!" Chris announced. "Team Perci wins first, for winning the most matches!"

Team Perci cheered somewhat awkwardly.

Team Beach cheered halfheartedly.

Redd smiled at Aquamara.

Team Female awkwardly looked at one another.

Team Female was seen at elimination.

"Team Female." Chris scolded. "I have three seashells..."

"Seashells?" Lynetta demanded. "Why can't we have pearls or something? That would represent the ocean."

"We don't have enough money in the budget to buy pearls." Chris explained.

"You have enough money to rent a beach house for nearly a month but you don't have enough to buy some pearls?" Lynetta complained. "Just have interns dive for them."

Phil and Daimion were heard shushing Lynetta from off-screen.

"Can we just get this over with?" Evi asked tiredly.

"If only your loud-mouth teammate would let me." Chris sighed angrily. "The first seashell goes to Janina."

Janina sighed in relief and got her seashell.

"Evi is also safe." Chris assured.

Evi smiled at Katt sadly and got his seashell.

"Katt. Lynetta." Chris began. "This the final seashell of the evening."

Katt stared at Chris nervously.

Lynetta stared at Katt smugly.

"The final seashell goes to...

...Katt."

Katt cheered and got her seashell.

Lynetta gasped, flabbergasted. "How can you vote me off?" She demanded. "I was the best player. I was an audience favorite. I was the president of the Der Schnitzel Kickers fan club!"

"What does that last one have to do with anything?" Katt laughed.

Lynetta blushed. "You know what? I don't need this. I don't need a compeition to tell me how good I am! I know just how good I am!"

"I doubt that." Janina giggled.

Katt and Evi smiled at Lynetta.

"Great, now even she insults me?" Lynetta complained. "I'm out of here." Lynetta angrily walked over to where the bus usually is, but it was absent.

"Where's the bus?!" Lynetta demanded.

"Um... Lynetta." Katt warned.

"What?!"

"Look over there." Katt pointed to the left.

The bus came charging at Lynetta.

Team Female's scared faces were shown as Lynetta screaming and a car horn were heard off-screen.

Chris' eyes widened. "Well, see you next week." He closed. "I'm going to go call the paramedics and hope I don't get... sued. And make sure there is enough money to have a next week..." Chris urgently pulled out his phone.

Trivia
Credit  Chapter 1 
 * I'd like to thank Reddy for making the logo.
 * I'd like to thank MrD and Zinc for making and updating the elimination table.
 * I'd like to thank Rhonda for giving me the idea of Katt and Evi rethinking their relationship.
 * Paradise Beach is fictional and was created by the author in about two minutes.
 * Chris saying "Leave Chris alone!" is a reference to the viral YouTube video, "Leave Brittney Alone."
 * Janina's name and outfit is based off of Janine from the Pokemon series. The name Janine was taken.
 * Luther saying "Hey there, Delilah," is a reference to a song by the Plain White T's of the same name.
 * Redd is partially based of of Reddude.
 * Rosi was created by the author's sister.
 * Drake was created by the author's brother.
 * N saying "Is this real life?" is a reference to the YouTube video, "David After Dentist."
 * N is named after N from the Pokemon series, but bears no resemblence to him.
 * Darceline is named after Marceline the Vampire Queen from Adventure Time. The name Marceline was taken.

Chapter 2 Chapter 3
 * Katt calling N "Hilbert," is a reference to a player character of the same name in the Pokemon series. The author did this to include another Pokemon reference in N's lines.
 * This episode officially begins the interactions between Aquamara and Redd.
 * The author made up Rosi's story at random.
 * Rosi falling asleep because of Luther's sports story is a reference to the author's dislike of most sports.
 * Jena spying on Rosi and Luther is a slight reference to Sprinklemist's Hedda.
 * The original Team Female included Kat, Katt's prototype, Ali, Evi's prototype, Janine, Janina's prototype, and Lynetta's prototype of the same name.
 * The original Team Perci was called Team Silver Is Really Really Really Cool and included Luther's prototype of the same name, Ian, Perci's prototype, Marceline, Darceline's prototype, and Franz's prototype of the same name.
 * The original Team Beach was called Team Victorious and included Lana's prototype of the same name, Jenna, Jena's prototype, "Vicini," "Magic's" prototype, and "Einstein", a character cut from the story.
 * Darceline calling Lana "sissy" meant "sister." The nickname comes from a girl at the author's school who calls her female friends (and, sometimes, her male friends, jokingly) that.
 * Team Beach was always going to be the first team to go to elimination. In fact, they were originally a Team Victory.
 * "Magic" was always going to be the first eliminated.
 * The title is a reference to The Amazing Race.
 * "Super Happy Mega Fun Time Cupcake Dance Party" is a reference to silly animes and the Total Drama World Tour episode, "Super Happy Crazy Fun Time Japan."
 * The "english version" Chris was auditioning for is assumed to be a dub of the original work.
 * Daimion the intern is based on Mrdaimion.
 * Chris ordered Team Beach to the sheds randomly because the author forgot to write it in the previous chapter.
 * Katt makes fun of "Friday," a viral YouTube video and a horrible song.
 * Rosi's prank was found hilarious by the author's sister but sadistic by the author's brother.
 * Originally, N was going to be eliminated, but he was too popular.
 * Darceline was eliminated to give Lana a storyline.
 * The title is a reference to the song, "I've Got Two Tickets to Paradise."

Chapter 4 


 * Lana's line, "Another one bites the dust," is a common saying.


 * Lana's (and Darceline's) last name being Van Queen is reference to an Adventure Time character named Marceline the Vampire Queen.


 * Luther calling "Captain Obvious" is a common nickname for someone who states the obvious.


 * Chris' greeting is based on stereotypical Hawaiian accent.


 * Katt failed at surfing because the author was afraid that Katt would be seen as a Mary Sue.


 * The author prefers to leave Katt's "idea" to the readers' guessing.


 * N continues to fail in this chapter.


 * Redd's fear of water is shown in this chapter.


 * Kamron and Ariana were paired together shortly after they were created.

Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9  Chapter 10  Lynetta was shown in confessional. "Okay, so maybe I was jealous of Katt." She admitted. "She's just so pretty and nice and smart and cute and clever and confident and..." The camera skipped forward. "But there's no way I'm letting her know I said that."
 * Originally, Kamron was going to ask Katt out, but be denied because Katt would realize that he only liked her for her appearence. Then, Kamron would understand and go onto a balcony to sulk. Ariana would then arrive (looking for her clothes) and comfort him, until they kissed and became an official couple. The author changed it because he doubted he could pull this scene off.
 * Ariana was always planned to be eliminated in the same episode that she and Kamron became a couple.
 * The author did not know what to do for Chris' opening. While brainstorming, he thought of the movie Rio he had seen earlier that day and came up with idea of the hanglider.
 * Phil the cameraman's name was made up at random.
 * Daimion the intern reappears in this chapter.
 * Jena's role as a secondary antagonist started in this chapter.
 * N causing the thump was made up randomly.
 * The chapter of The Diary of Jena being the fifth was a reference to this chapter being the fifth of the story.
 * The chapter of The Diary Of Jena was based on how Lumpy Space Princess from Adventure Time talks. Especially the "Oh my grod" phrase.
 * What Franz translates to, "Go to hell." With all the people taking French and Google Translate, the author decided to make no attempt to hide this.
 * The title is a reference to Endurance, a teenage reality show. It is named as such because of the challenge.
 * The author had Team Perci and Team Beach both win because he didn't know which to put first.
 * Drake was eliminated by default. The author wanted to eliminate a male to keep the amout of each gender even, and someone from Team Female because they had not yet lost a member. Drake and Evi were the only ones who fit this criteria, and the author wanted to keep Evi so his relationship with Katt could progress. Drake was the only option left.
 * Daimion's line is a reference to something said by Noah in the Total Drama World Tour episode, "Jamaica Me Sweat."
 * Jena discovers the confessional without it being announced to the contestants, much like LeShawna did in Total Drama World Tour.
 * The scene where Luther and N damage Team Female's roof and getting scolded by Lynetta is based on the classic scene where a baseball breaks an old person's window. Evi points this out.
 * Rosi's sugar rush was added simply for humor.
 * The "Starvation Games" are a parody of The Hunger Games book series.
 * Janina's line in Team Female's movie is a reference to a song by Chris Brown. Unforunately, the author does not know the name of this song.
 * Chris and Kamron's exchange when Kamron quit is based on Harold's elimination in Total Drama World Tour.
 * The girl Chris went on a date with was supposed to be part of a one-time joke, but had some sort of role in another episode, much like Phil.
 * Dustin Believer and Suzannah Louisiana are parodies of Justin Bieber and Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus), respectively.
 * The Hunger Games parody, Starvation Games, appear again in this chapter.
 * Pato, Natkiss, and Keeta are parodies of Cato, Katniss, and Peeta, respectively. These are all Hunger Games characters.
 * Region 2 is a parody of District 2 of the Hunger Games.
 * Franz tells part of the plot of the Starvation Games. This scene is also part of the Hunger Games, with the actual characters. Perci cut him off to avoid too much of a spoiler.
 * Lana's description of fear is based on how it was described in Adventure Time.
 * The move Jena performed on Janina is a reference to the Super Street Fighter games. She performed the Gyro Drive Smasher, which is performed by Cammy in the Super Street Fighter games.
 * Rosi saying, "Yesh!!" is based on something the author commonly says online.
 * Chris giving Team Female second place due to a ridiculous tiebreaker is a reference to Lindsay's Total Drama Island elimination.
 * Chris playing against someone in Europe is a reference to stereotypical gamers not knowing their gaming friends in real life.
 * Rosi calling Redd a spanish-speaking teletubby is a reference to a Shane Dawson YouTube video, which is a reference to The Teletubbies in itself.
 * Le Pamplemousse, the restaurant that Franz mentions, is French for "The Grapefruit."
 * The MP3 player Luther listens to, the myPod, is a reference to the iPod.
 * Kary Gerry and her song, Inferno, are references to Katy Perry and her song, Firework, respectively.
 * Key$ha and her song, Ding Dong, is a reference to Ke$ha and her song, Tik Tok, respectively.
 * Canye East is a reference to Kanye West.
 * Rosi being an undercover teenage police officer was planned a few chapters before. A hint to this was the police officers not being concerned by her presence, and one of them chuckling when the other thought Rosi was the insane woman.
 * The video of Key$ha, the parody of Ke$ha from the episode before, going viral is a slight reference to the viral video of Snooki from Jersey Shore being punched in the face by a teacher.
 * The bucket randomly lighting on fire is a reference to The Amazing World of Gumball.
 * The idea of Chris being in a speedo came from Alejandro in the Total Drama World Tour episode, "Jamaica Me Sweat."
 * Lynetta saying that swimming in a V will make them go faster is based on something Courtney said in the Total Drama World Tour episode, "Newf Kids On The Rock."
 * Lady Googoo is a parody of Lady Gaga.
 * The "I pity da foo'!" lines are a reference to Mr. T.
 * Luther was eliminated for plot reasons.
 * The title is a slight reference to That 70s Show.
 * The game Katt and Lynetta were playing was a reference to the Super Street Fighter games.
 * Canada's Next Top Vain Model is a parody of America's Next Top Model.
 * Aquamara setting a replica of Redd's room up in the middle of the water is a reference to Adventure Time.
 * Felicity Von Twinklepuff's last name is a reference to a nickname Drake Parker from Drake & Josh temporarily obtained.
 * Der Schnitzel Kickers is the band Duncan had in the Total Drama World Tour episode, "I See London..."
 * Lynetta's elimination was a example of dark humor.
 * A scene was cut out of this episode. It consisted of Lynetta listing Katt's good qualitites in confessional, and Katt overhearing the whole thing from outside and laughing. It was cut out because it could've been interpreted as Katt thinking Lynetta was homosexual. The scene went as follows:

Katt was shown outside confessional giggling hysterically.