User blog comment:That Epic/Total Drama: Clash of the Contestants -Day 5/@comment-1874924-20130402011154/@comment-3462398-20130402013524

Now, your honor, I am just a simple man of simple tastes. I grew up on a farm in Kansas, and I am by no means old money.

Now, as we said in Kansas "When in Rome.". Now, nobody knew exactly what that meant, but we said it to fit in, which brings me to my next point.

Now, if this so-called "evolution" was real, how come the Bible says not? Exactly, you have no answer.

And now, I bring my next piece of evidence. *wheels out picture of Chewbacca* This is Chewbacca. He is a wookie from the planet Kashyyk. However, he lives on the planet Endor. Now, why would a 7 foot tall wookie want to live with a bunch of two feet tall ewoks? I'll tell you why, cuz my ass. IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! If you agree that this DOES NOT MAKE SENSE, you will find my client not guilty.

Now, I will bring in my first witness, Mr.... Squidward, is it? Now, how much does Mr. Krabs pay you?

Squidward: He hardly pays me at all. Can I go home now? How come I have to spend my one day off testifying!

I rest my case. And next, we have the K-

Kool-Aid Guy: *bursts through wall* OH YEAH!

Yes, yes, the Kool-Aid Guy. He was supposed to wait for his cue. Okay, next part. Recess! Now, I hear we have a swingset in this courtroom? What? No swingset? I'll sue later.

Anyway, recess over, I now hand the mic to my associate, a sassy black woman who don't need no man.

"I TOLD YOU! WHAT DID I TELL YOU? DIDN'T I TELL YOU? CUZ I TOLD YA! MMM HMM! AND WHEN DID I TELL YOU? A LONGGGGG TIME AGO! AND WHAT DID I SAY WOULD HAPPEN WHEN I TOLD YA? EXACTLY WHAT JUST HAPPENED!"

Thank you, NayNayNay. For my next order of business, I bring you proof that this is the real Santa Claus. *rips off Santa's beard, Santa screams in pain* AS YOU CAN SEE, HE HAS THE BIRTHMARK! IN YOUR FACE JOEY SMITH FROM THIRD GRADE! IT ISN'T MY PARENTS! IT'S SANTA!

Judge: I hereby sentence Joey Smith to 3 episodes of Hot In Cleveland.

Joey Smith: nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

...

Now Gideon, as you can see, you're right, but I REALLY want to not go to the camps wiki.