Talk:Total Drama: Lights Camera Action

I think this is an awesome way to tell a story, from a first point of view, other people might have done it but I personally have never seen it. I also like the cast, and the first day, I'm interested to see how this plays out. Good job Jacky! -- Bridgette_dj10 Talk Blogs Contributions Editcount 15:12, February 10, 2013 (UTC)

aw why thank you! :) - Love Jackkks ♥ , Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  22:12, February 10, 2013 (UTC)

wow, i was surprised for Dakota! Really the story, for me, is becaming way better than your old one, even if it was a good one! This is really awesome, i just love the idea. You are making many people LOVE TDA now c: Girls are ok, but one million dollars is WAY BETTER  ,I am TDFANFRENCH and I will won this time!  14:39, February 14, 2013 (UTC)

with what program did you do this two character CJ Jacky

thanks c:

&i use PTS

leave your signature!!!- Love Jackkks ♥ , Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  00:56, February 13, 2013 (UTC)

Pass the link to me?

nigga pass on the link for me to download? please

not till you leave your signature :p - Love Jackkks ♥ , Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  23:33, February 14, 2013 (UTC)

and how to do it? Seriously if I knew but did not know: D

after you post a comment put this sign "~" 4 times, so it creates your signature - Love Jackkks ♥ , Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  01:21, February 15, 2013 (UTC)

ok User:ViiSilca189.78.24.5 20:16, February 15, 2013 (UTC)

Haha very good so far. :) I wish there were more dialogue, it'd make it much more interesting. But I like how it's going! C: Dawww Cj x Jackeyyy <3 NoahRileyM (talk) 04:37, February 16, 2013 (UTC)

I wish Courtney and Jacky woud be in the final 2 cause that woud be awsomeTdwtwinz (talk) 18:12, February 16, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

And I wish Courtney and Jacky woud be friends Tdwtwinz (talk) 20:26, February 16, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

What did you use to creat thos imiges??Tdwtwinz (talk) 08:44, February 17, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

i  used paint tool sai (: - Love Jackkks ♥ , Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  09:27, February 17, 2013 (UTC)

I pass the link to lower the program please I signed ViiSilca 189.78.24.5 12:20, February 17, 2013 (UTC)

ok, im not sure if this is the right one, but i asked a friend to pass me the link so click here - Love Jackkks ♥ , Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  19:03, February 17, 2013 (UTC)

thank you very much User:ViiSilca189.78.24.5 20:32, February 17, 2013 (UTC)

Wow i am amazed on how your show is going! it is twice as much better then the real TDA! i love your art and cant wait to see what else is planed for the future episodes and seasons! c: VashHonestBeautiful (Talk )

thank you very much n.n - Love Jackkks ♥ , <font color="#B08261">Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  08:58, February 25, 2013 (UTC)

I'm keeping up with this. ;3  Lovely pictures and a nice storyline. ;3  Keep up the great work. ;3<font face="Arial">-- Where <span style="color:mintcream; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">have <span style="color:palegreen; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">I been <span style="color:lightgreen; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">all this <span style="color:darkseagreen; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">ti-i-i-ime?  15:37, February 25, 2013 (UTC)

I loved Episode 6 its very awsome.Tdwtwinz (talk) 10:06, March 3, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

Give Your Prediction
Who do you think is going to win ? leave your signature next to the contestant. If the person you thought was going to win but was eliminated, you can vote again. Till you get it right xD

-CJ -Courtney -Dawn -Gwen -Jacky -Scott -Sadie -Diem -Nestor
 * 1) TheMacaronikid (talk) 06:05, February 18, 2013 (UTC)
 * 2) <font color="LightSeaGreen"> There's a Tbird on the loose! :)  06:08, February 18, 2013 (UTC)
 * 3) <font color="Blue">Girls are ok, but one million dollars is WAY BETTER   ,I am TDFANFRENCH and I will won this time!  19:27, February 20, 2013 (UTC)
 * 4) <font color="#808000">VashHonestBeautiful (<font color="#808000">Talk ) 01:43, February 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * 5) <font color="Green">CoCoDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 2:27, February 1, 2013 (UTC)
 * 6) RedVodka (talk) 05:01, March 12, 2013 (UTC)
 * 7) Roger fan- american dad (talk) 4:32, March 28, 2013 (UTC)
 * 1) NoahRileyM (talk) 06:05, February 18, 2013 (UTC)
 * 2) Tdwtwinz (talk) 13:31, February 18, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz
 * 3)  Goooop! What?   It's not that disgusting  ...is it? 23:20, February 27, 2013 (UTC)
 * 1) ΔTeddyΔ  Leave a message, please!  Goodbye now! 08:59, February 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * 2) <font face="Arial">-- Where <span style="color:mintcream; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">have <span style="color:palegreen; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">I been <span style="color:lightgreen; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">all this <span style="color:darkseagreen; background-color:black; padding:2px; font-size:8pt; border:thin solid white;">ti-i-i-ime?  15:37, February 25, 2013 (UTC)
 * 3) CindyTDITDATDWT (talk) 16:08, February 25, 2013 (UTC)
 * 1) <font color="Teal">Fluffy pancakes being <font color="Orange">my only friend  <font color="Violet">is not scary.  06:05, February 21, 2013 (UTC)
 * 1)  ಆ ಶುಂಠಿ   ಕಿಡ್!  18:12, March 11, 2013 (UTC)
 * 1) <font size="5" face="Impact"> ☜Hip  1950s☞


 * 1) ViiSilca (talk) 15:59, March 24, 2013 (UTC)

-Eliminated Player

Review
This is pretty good so far, but you've got some major errors.

For example, "Said selfishly Courtney."

First it would be "Selfishly said Courtney."

Also first person view with only one character (who just so happens to be your main character) limits your readers' experience. If you switch to other people's views, you get more drama and it adds volume to your story.

The writing-eh could be better. Your sentence struture is okay, but you are basically just telling what happens in the story. Try to add things like imagery and more emotion to your story.

Instead of this: I was laying in my bed talking to Leshawna and Gwen about how the game works, they were giving me advice to stay away from some people, and then out of nowhere Courtney came barging into the door. “You better stay away from Duncan unless you want to see another day” she said. Gwen ignored her and Courtney left the cabin.

Try this: Leshawna and Gwen were discussing how the game worked with the new contestant Jacky, who was lying on the top bunk of the Girls' Cabin, when Courtney suddenly burst into the room, her emotions ablaze.

"You better stay away from Duncan, unless you never want to see another day!" She screamed, pointing at a bored Gwen.

Gwen repeatedly ignored Courtney, finally causing Courtney to leave in a huff.

See? I've added more fluff and given the paragraph a little more volume. Also when someone is saying something, you've GOT to make it a new paragraph like I did above.

Even though you're art is beautiful and goes with the story well, I still think you need to work on your writing. We don't want the pictures to take away from what's REALLY happening. When I first started looking through your story, I found that I was only looking at the pictures rather than the writing.

Hope this helped and sorry if I was a little rude to you. Keep writing! :) 72.205.229.230 23:23, February 25, 2013 (UTC) i understand with what you're saying, and i do agree im not the BEST writer, but im just doing this for fun also because i have some free time. Im not trying to write the BEST story out there, its just something simple and for fun. - Love Jackkks ♥ , <font color="#B08261">Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  04:26, February 26, 2013 (UTC)

Sadie will come in that episodeViiSilca (talk) 21:31, February 26, 2013 (UTC)

I read the story so far. I enjoy the artwork more, but hey, that doesn't mean I don't like the story. You can't have two hearts... unless you're pregnant or a Time Lord. (Talk | Blogs | Contributions) 19:33, March 3, 2013 (UTC)

@Numbered user critic. With art as good as hers, Jacky doesn't need to write amazingly. Also, first person also makes the story more intimate and engaging. And thirdly it would be 'Said courtney selfishly.'  ΔTeddyΔ Leave a message, please! Goodbye now! 22:23, March 3, 2013 (UTC)

I know the middle and Sadia most do not know the restViiSilca (talk) 02:05, March 5, 2013 (UTC)

It's gonna be awesome and i recognized all of the newcomers! ;D <font color="Blue">Girls are ok, but one million dollars is WAY BETTER <font color="LightBlue"> ,I am TDFANFRENCH and I will won this time!  14:56, March 10, 2013 (UTC)

will have a second season?ViiSilca (talk) 17:31, March 11, 2013 (UTC)

you our take long to post each episodeViiSilca (talk) 16:54, March 12, 2013 (UTC)

it should come out by Friday or Saturday :) & then more episodes to come for the next 2 weeks! - Love Jackkks ♥ , <font color="#B08261">Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  14:49, March 14, 2013 (UTC

I would love this even more is Lindsay debuted :D - Liamliamliam

Loved the episode very awsomeTdwtwinz (talk) 15:48, March 21, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

our jackydelrey you've outdone yourself this episode I enjoyed even more than NestorViiSilca (talk) 20:19, March 21, 2013 (UTC)

I liked the nestorViiSilca (talk) 02:19, March 22, 2013 (UTC)

thanks (: - Love Jackkks ♥ , <font color="#B08261">Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  04:20, March 22, 2013 (UTC)

jacky does nestor alone for me to get picture for me and put in my profileViiSilca (talk) 16:29, March 22, 2013 (UTC)

Hey Jacky can I use your Jacky, Nestor, Diem and CJ character  for my future seasons please?Tdwtwinz (talk) 22:27, March 26, 2013 (UTC)Tdwtwinz

for sure(y) - Love Jackkks ♥ , <font color="#B08261">Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ  22:43, March 26, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks Jacky your awsomeTdwtwinz (talk) 23:14, March 26, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

Jacky makes a female character for me? PleaseViiSilca (talk) 16:32, March 27, 2013 (UTC)

Hey Jacky here is my Total Drama Island http://totaldramaislandfanfiction.wikia.com/wiki/Total_Drama_Island_(my_cast,_my_version)

And If you want you can draw some picturesTdwtwinz (talk) 20:49, March 27, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

And I almost forgot please leave a comment in the talkTdwtwinz (talk) 20:53, March 27, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

Hey Jacky will you make another season with Nestor CJ Diem and Jacky? And if you do then can my character be in the season?Tdwtwinz (talk) 23:54, March 28, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

http://totaldramaislandfanfiction.wikia.com/wiki/User:Tdwtwinz  This is my characterTdwtwinz (talk) 00:01, March 29, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

Here is my character http://totaldramaislandfanfiction.wikia.com/wiki/Unknow_name_(name_will_be_revield_later)Tdwtwinz (talk) 00:25, March 29, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

http://totaldramaislandfanfiction.wikia.com/wiki/User:Tdwtwinz#My_characters  here is my character in my profileTdwtwinz (talk) 01:12, March 29, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

I like the photos. Good job. Leonard McLean 14 (talk) 06:25, March 30, 2013 (UTC)

I loved the Episode 9 totaly awsomeTdwtwinz (talk) 08:39, April 1, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

thank you!! - Love Jackkks ♥, <font color="#B08261">Peace  Δ  Δ  Δ   09:08, April 1, 2013 (UTC)

Hey Jacky can you please look at you user talk pageTdwtwinz (talk) 09:25, April 1, 2013 (UTC)tdwtwinz

by jacky excuse me you caught your nestorViiSilca (talk) 13:06, April 1, 2013 (UTC)

Following the story. Loving it so far!

Let the lovers be together!!!

Please DelRey Jack Brings Trent for this season pleaseViiSilca (talk) 01:11, April 3, 2013 (UTC)