Loud Ed Drama

This is a work in progress.

This is the first season of Total Drama with the 11 Loud siblings and the 12 Ed, Edd n Eddy kids competing as well. I assure you the teams are 100% randomized.

Episode 1
It was a warm summer day at Camp Wawanakwa in Muskoka, Ontario. Chris was standing with 22 teenagers who were already on the dock. "Now, we've got 23 other people competing with you guys," said Chris.

"23?!" cried Heather.

"WHOOOO!! It's gonna be a PARTY!" whooped Geoff.

"So to speed things up, we're going to introduce them in only two groups," the host finished explaining.

The first boat appeared, dropping off 11 children of varying heights and ages. "Say hello to uhh..." Chris looked at the camera, and the sound of a cue card being grabbed was heard. "Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lincoln, Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa, and Lily!" The 11 called walked down the dock.

"Are you all related?" asked Owen.

"Yes," said Lincoln.

"Your parents must be pretty—OW!" Cody was slapped on the back of the head by an unamused Noah.

"Oh, here comes our second group!" said Chris. A second boat appeared, and twelve more children got out. Chris looked at the cameraman for the next cue card and said, "Ed, Edd, Eddy, Sarah, Jimmy, Kevin, Rolf, Jonny, Nazz, May, Marie, and Lee!" The twelve called also made their way down the dock.

Edd stopped at the end and said, "Pardon me sir. May I be called 'Double D' please? Just to avoid confusion with Ed."

"Children! Children everywhere!" Ed said happily.

"Yeah, you got it," said Chris. "Alright, we're gonna need a group photo, so everyone look at me and smile!"

Everyone looked at Chris and smiled sans Eva. "Eva?" said Chris.

"Forget it."

"OK, one, two, three!" A click was heard. "Alright, let's see it!" Chris clicked a button, only to see he had captured a black screen. "Huh? Oops, silly me! I forgot to remove the lens cap!" Some groans were heard as the host removed the lens cap. "Alright hold that pose. One, two, three!" A beep sounded instead of a click. "Dang it! My card's full, so let me delete that first picture real quick." After doing so, the cast smiled again (except of course Eva). "OK, one, two, three!" He snapped it, but as he did, the dock broke over the weight of the contestants. "Ha ha! Good enough for me!" said Chris. "Dry off and meet me at the campfire in ten!"

The campers were now at the campfire. "Alright, under most circumstances, I would've divided you up into two teams, but since there's an odd number of you, there will be three teams instead. If I call your name, you will stand to my left."

"Bridgette."

"Eddy."

"Eva."

"Jimmy."

"Jonny."

"Lee."

"Leni."

"Leshawna."

"Lincoln."

"Lisa."

"Lori."

"Luan."

"Lynn."

"Sarah."

"And Tyler." Those 15 stood to Chris's left. "You will be...the KILLER BASS!" A red circle with an angry red bass appeared.

"Wicked name!" said Tyler.

"Now if I call your name, stand to my right," said Chris.

"Beth."

"Courtney."

"Duncan."

"Double D."

"Ezekiel."

"Geoff."

"Harold."

"Izzy."

"Lucy."

"Luna."

"Marie."

"Nazz."

"Owen."

"Rolf."

"And Trent." Those called went to Chris's right. "You will be...the SCREAMING GOPHERS!" A green circle with an angry green gopher appeared.

"Awesome! I'm a gopher!" said Owen.

"The rest of you, stand behind the stumps directly in front of me when I call your name," explained Chris.

"Cody."

"DJ."

"Ed."

"Gwen."

"Heather."

"Justin."

"Katie."

"Kevin."

"Lana."

"Lily."

"Lindsay."

"Lola."

"May."

"Noah."

"And Sadie." Those 15 stood behind the stumps. "You will be...the RAGING STORKS!" A blue circle with an angry blue stork appeared.

"Rhymes with dork. Something I'm not," said an unimpressed Kevin.

"Take a look at your teammates for a quick little second, then I'll explain the cabin arrangement," said Chris.

"I can't be on the same team as HER!" Eddy exclaimed, pointing at Lee.

"Likewise!" Edd did the same to Marie.

"Kanker bad for Ed!" Ed exclaimed in regards to May.

"There's no way that was randomized!" cried Edd.

"I assure you everything was 100% randomized," said Chris.

"We're on the same team, Katie!" exclaimed Sadie. The two hugged each other and squeed, causing most to cover their ears.

"Well then, let's go over the cabin arrangements," said Chris. "Even if you all weren't different ages, the rooms are not co-ed, since we don't want to run into a lawsuit in only our first season. So boys get one side of each cabin, and girls get the other. Bass, you're in the west cabin. Gophers, the east cabin. And Storks, you'll be in the middle. Go ahead and unpack, then meet in the main lodge for information about your first challenge."

Chris walked off, leaving the cast standing there. "Challenge? I never heard anything about a challenge in the brochure," said Lincoln.

The teams were now in the main lodge, getting their food. "Listen up, rodents. I make this for y'all every day, and I don't get paid anywhere near enough for me to enjoy doing this, so I expect you all to eat this," said Chef, who stood behind the window.

Lucy, who was first in line, got a pile of brown slop on her plate. "Uh, no thanks. I'm not hungry." Chef leaned in her face and roared, causing the girl to wince, though her facial expression didn't change in the slightest. "Right. Sorry." She left the line and made her way towards one of the tables.

Eventually, everyone had gotten their food when Chris walked in. "So, how is it?" he asked.

"Yo, my man. You got a pizza anywhere or something?" asked Geoff. A cleaver was thrown from the kitchen, just missing him. "WOAH! It's cool, brah! Brown slop is cool, right guys?" The camera showed Beth, Edd, Izzy, Lucy, Luna, Marie, Owen, and Trent nodding nervously, Courtney, Duncan, Harold, and Nazz, looking horrified, Ezekiel hiding under the table, and Rolf looking unimpressed.

"Your first challenge begins in ten minutes," Chris said before leaving.

Sadie turned to DJ and asked, "What do you think they'll make us do?"

"It's our first challenge. How hard can it be?"

Cut to the 45 campers standing above a one thousand foot cliff. "Oh, shit."

Chris walked up and said, "Welcome to your first challenge! This one will be threefold. First, you will jump off this thousand foot cliff, hoping to make the safe zone." A shot of the lake from above showed a circle flash as he mentions the safe zone. "Whichever team has more people jump gets a pull cart to carry a hot tub, and you will then try to build an awesome hot tub! The team that builds the best one gets to rock their awesome hot tub all summer! The one with the worst gets to vote someone out...TONIGHT!" He turned to the red team and said, "Bass, you're up first. Who's going first?"

Bridgette volunteered herself. "No big deal. Just a jump off a thousand foot cliff...into shark infested waters." She jumped and landed in the safe zone. She waved to a passing boat with a smile on her face, and the boat promptly stopped in front of her. She then swam to the boat.

"Yeah, she did it! I'm next!" exclaimed Tyler. He jumped and cheered, only for a loud clang to sound along with a scream from Tyler. He had landed against a buoy.

Lynn jumped off next cheering, followed by Luan laughing wildly, then Lincoln screaming terrified, and finally Jonny saying, "Isn't this exciting, Plank?" while holding Plank. All of them landed in the safe zone.

Eddy shrugged and said, "Eh sure, why not?" He jumped off...

...and promptly landed crotch-first on the same buoy that hurt Tyler. A loud, piercing shriek echoed through the scene. Eddy's teammates on the boat and on the cliff shared pained/horrified expressions, except Sarah, who laughed, along with Kevin from the Storks. "Oh man, that is gold!" said Kevin.

"I fail to see how a pubic injury is amusing," said Lisa.

"Yeah, because you are a girl," said Ezekiel matter-of-factly.

"What was that supposed to mean?!" said Eva.

Lisa stepped in front of her and held up both hands. "Cool it. He's on a different team, and technically, he is correct."

Eva sighed and stopped. "I suppose I can go now." She jumped off and called, "Look out below!" before landing in the safe zone.

Jimmy clung to Sarah and said, "I don't know if I can do it Sarah."

"That's OK, Jimmy. We'll do it together." She held Jimmy's hand and they ran and jumped off the cliff.

Leshawna said, "I guess I'll go, too." She jumped with a scream, and also made the safe zone.

Lee walked up and said, "I guess I'm up." She jumped into the safe zone.

Lori walked up with a blank expression and also jumped into the safe zone.

Leni walked up with a smile on her face and also jumped into the safe zone.

Lisa walked up last. "According to my calculations, I should not survive the jump, but since this is a cartoon..." She jumped and made it into the safe zone.

"Well, that's 15 jumpers and zero chickens for the Bass," said Chris. "Gophers, you're up next."

"I do festivities like this in the Old Country all the time," boasted Rolf. He then jumped into the safe zone with a perfect swan dive. His teammates clapped for him. "Thank you, thank you," he said as he made his way to his team's boat as it pulled in.

"Well, I suppose I can go now," said Duncan. He jumped with a bored expression on his face with his arms crossed.

Trent jumped next, saying "YEAHHHHH!" excitedly.

Luna jumped while making rock gestures.

Geoff jumped while hooting and hollering excitedly.

Izzy jumped while cackling.

Beth stood there nervously. "I can't do it. I'm too scared." She started apologizing when Chris pulled out a chicken hat.

"Don't be," said Courtney. "Besides, I've seen the other team, and I don't think enough of them will jump." The Storks glared at Courtney, with Lola shouting, "HEY!"

Chris pulled out a second chicken hat for Courtney and both girls put them on before leaving.

Edd was next. "Well, Lisa does make a valid point." He jumped into the safe zone.

Harold said, "Yes!" before jumping himself. He landed crotch-first in the middle of the safe zone, making his teammates on both the boat and the cliff cringe in pain. Kevin laughed again.

Ezekiel jumped off with a "yee-haw!" before bumping into the side of the cliff and landing in the water. He gave a thumbs up as he surfaced.

Lucy went next. "I hope I miss the safe zone to say I got to be a part of a shark attack." She jumped, only to make the safe zone as well. "Dang it."

Nazz said, "Eh, sure I guess." She jumped off the cliff.

"I'm coming Double D!" said Marie as she jumped off the cliff.

Owen was last. "Oh man, I wish I brought my floaties." He sighed, then ran off the cliff in a fury, creating a big splash.

"Dang, Owen! Well that's thirteen jumpers and two chickens for the Gophers," said Chris. "Storks, your turn."

"Allow me," said Kevin. He jumped with a typical sexy male pose into the safe zone with a smug smile.

Ed ran off the cliff laughing.

"I'm sorry. There is no way I'm doing this," said Heather.

"Why not?" asked May.

"Because, national TV! I'll get my hair wet!"

"You're kidding me, right?" Gwen said incredulously.

"If she's not doing it, I'm not doing it," said Lindsay.

"So you're both chickening out?" asked Chris. The two girls nodded. "Well, that settles it! The Bass automatically win part one of today's challenge!"

The red team cheered from the shore, while the blue and green teams looked down in defeat.

"I wanted a chicken thingy," said Ed.

"Shut up, dork," said Kevin.

The scene flashed to the Bass singing 99 Bottles of Pop while pulling their crates with the pull carts Chris had promised them.

The blue team was a ways back. Lana was straining while pushing her crate. She looked up and asked, "A little help here?"

The camera scrolled up to show Lola posing like a beauty queen on top of it, ignoring her twin.

The Gophers however, were doing worse. Edd and Harold were pushing a box together, and they had literally not moved an inch. Chris pulled up in an ATV. "This, is sad," he said before driving away.

Rolf and Ed however, were carrying their crates above their heads effortlessly, passing the Bass, who had stopped singing upon seeing them. "Come on, hurry!" ordered Eva. The red team started running.

"Give Rolf your crates!" ordered Rolf. His teammates obliged, and one by one, Rolf picked up a crate and carried it back to the campgrounds.

"Feed me pretty boxes!" said Ed. He picked up crate after crate and carried them over to the campgrounds in a similar fashion.

Eventually all three teams made it back at the same time. "Alright, let's get building!" ordered Courtney. The Gophers went to work on their hot tub.

"I'll handle this," said Lana. The rest of the team shrugged.

"OK, so who knows how to build stuff?" asked Eva. Everyone looked around in silence. "Well, we're screwed, aren't we?"

Eventually, time ran out, and the tubs were complete. "Alright, let's check out your hot tubs," said Chris. He walked over to the Bass's hot tub, and saw it was not constructed very well. The Bass looked embarrassed and ashamed as Chris said, "I can tell none of you have any experience building stuff." The Bass shook their heads. "Not good. But hey, at least it's sturdy."

Chris then walked over to the Gophers' hot tub and saw it in even worse shape. He leans down to examine a hole, where he is promptly sprayed by a stream of water. The tub then falls apart after that. The Gophers look humiliated.

Chris then walked over to the Storks' hot tub and saw it very well constructed. "This...is an AWESOME hot tub!" The blue team smiled at one another. "I think we have a winner here...

...the RAGING STORKS win! And the Screaming Gophers will vote someone out!" The blue team cheered, with Lana being held up by Cody, the red team looked a bit disappointed, yet relieved to avoid elimination at the same time, and the green team looked down in disappointment.

The three teams were back in the mess hall, with the focus on the Gophers. "So I suppose I can do the honor of asking the obvious question of who goes?" asked Edd.

"Well I think it should be princess here," Duncan pointed at Courtney. "Or, braceface," he pointed at Beth.

"Why? You need me! I'm a CIT!"

"Oh, I believe you. I also believe you led us to making such a poor hot tub. And if I recall correctly, you're the two wearing chicken hats."

"I just don't see why we lost, eh," said Ezekiel. "We're the team with the least number of girls."

The team grew shocked. "Oh man, he did not just say that!" Geoff said excitedly.

"My dad told me to look out for the girls here, eh? And help them in case they can't keep up!"

"Pardon me, Ezekiel, but Harold and I were clearly struggling with our crates during the second part of the challenge," said Edd.

"OK...I guess I'm wrong then."

"No, you're dad is wrong, not you," said Harold.

"You've got a lot to learn about the real world," said Duncan. "We're gonna start teaching you tomorrow."

The camera cut to the Screaming Gophers. "Gophers. Welcome to the first ever marshmallow ceremony. In most places, marshmallows are a tasty treat you enjoy roasting. Here, it represents a symbol of life." Chris pulls out a blue plate with 14 marshmallows. "As you can see, there are 14 marshmallows on this place, but as you all know, there are 15 of you. The person who doesn't receive a marshmallow must immediately walk down the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and never come back...EVER!" Many Gophers looked shocked. "Without further ado, I have marshmallows for..."

"Geoff."

"Trent."

"Double D."

"Rolf."

"Nazz."

"Owen."

"Harold."

"Izzy."

"Lucy."

"Luna."

"Marie."

"Duncan."

"And Courtney." Those 13 all got their marshmallows, leaving only Beth and Ezekiel.

"Beth, you're here because you didn't jump and don't have the advantage of being a CIT. Ezekiel, you're here because you said some pretty sexist things you said came from your dad. The final marshmallow, goes to..."

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..."Ezekiel." The prairie boy sighed in relief and caught his marshmallow.

Beth stood up disappointed. "Oh well. I guess it was fun while it lasted." She walked up to the Dock of Shame, where the Boat of Losers promptly arrived. She stepped inside it, and it took off with her away from the island.

"Well, that wraps up this exciting episode of TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!" yelled Chris.

The camera cuts back to the Storks enjoying their time in the hot tub. "Here's to our first challenge win," said Kevin, raising his drink.

"To the Raging Storks!" said his teammates, also raising their drinks.

The Storks then noticed something smell bad. "What's that smell?" asked DJ.

"What is that?" Cody asked with concern in his voice. He pointed at what looked like a brown pellet.

Katie and Sadie immediately screamed and bolted out of the hot tub, with the rest of the team spilling out after them, except Lily, who looked at the camera and said, "Poo-poo."

Episode 2
"Last time on Total Drama Island," said Chris.

The camera shows the 45 campers getting their picture taken before falling into the water, followed by them in line to get their food at the mess hall.

"We welcomed 45 campers to Camp Wawanakwa to kick off our hottest new reality show!"

The camera shows Eddy's painful landing, followed by Rolf and Ed carrying their crates above their heads, and finally Chris inspecting the Bass's hot tub.

"For the first challenge, our campers had to jump off a thousand foot cliff, bring crates carrying parts of a hot tub back to camp, and build an awesome hot tub."

The camera shows the Gophers' hot tub falling apart, followed by Chris announcing the Storks as the winning team.

"The Screaming Gophers had to vote someone off, while the Raging Storks won the challenge thanks to Lana's skills at construction!"

The camera shows Ezekiel making sexist comments, followed by Beth apologizing as she receives a chicken hat, and finally her boarding the Boat of Losers.

"And even though Ezekiel made some pretty sexist comments, it was Beth's refusal to jump off the cliff that did her in, making her the first ever camper to be eliminated."

The camera shows Chris. "What do we have planned for our campers next? Find out right now, right here, on TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!"

* cue intro, which I'm not going into detail to avoid spoilers*

It was the crack of dawn at Camp Wawanakwa. Everyone was sleeping soundly, until an airhorn sounded.

"The call of duty has summoned Rolf!" Rolf jumped out of his bed and made his way out of his team's cabin without skipping a beat.

Other campers didn't react so well. Leshawna hit her head waking up. "It's 6 AM! Do I look like a farmer to you?!"

Eventually, the remaining campers made it out of their respective cabins and stood outside, where Chris stood. "Hey Chris, you look really buff in those shorts," said Heather.

"Yeah, thanks. Anywho, what better way to start your day than by going on a 20K run around the island?" Many groans sounded from the campers. Chris ignored their complaints and fired his airhorn again, forcing the contestants to run into the woods to begin the challenge.

Lola (CONF): I don't wanna make my dress dirty!

"Can you carry me, sis?" Lola asked Lana.

"No." Lana took off.

"Can you carry me?" Lola asked Heather.

"As if." Heather took off.

Lola then saw Noah unconscious and Kevin carrying him. She then laid down and closed her eyes. Soon enough, Justin came by and picked her up in a similar fashion. A smile appeared on her face once he did so, though she kept it a secret from him.

Ed, Edd, and Eddy were running away from May, Marie, and Lee respectively.

"Look at them run, girls!" said Lee.

"They look so hot!" said Marie.

Later, Jimmy was feeling queasy. "I'm feeling terrible, Sarah."

"That's OK, Jimmy. Just let it out," said Sarah.

Jimmy ended up throwing up all over Lori, who screamed. "My clothes! Ruined! You're gonna pay for that, little brat!"

"Oh no. No one is messing with Jimmy on my watch!" said Sarah.

"Says who?"

Sarah picked up a tree from its foundation and tossed it to the other side of the path. Lori gulped.

Eva seemingly arrived back at the mess hall first. "Alright, I'm first!"

"I'm sorry, what?" Lucy appeared behind her, startling the bodybuilder.

"Where'd you come from?" asked Eva. But Lucy didn't answer her.

Soon, almost everybody had made it back. Kevin and Justin came in holding Noah and Lola. "Clear the tables!" ordered Kevin. The two boys dropped their teammates down on one of the tables when Harold and Edd came in.

"Where were you?!" asked Courtney.

"I think I'm suffering heart palpitations!" said Harold.

"Same here," said Edd, who was wheezing.

"Wait, if they got here last, that means they lost!" Gwen pointed out. The red and blue teams started cheering, with Noah and Lola regaining consciousness, until Chris walked in and said, "Who said that was the challenge?"

"Say what now?" said Leshawna.

"Who's hungry?" Chris unveiled a giant buffet of food. Real food.

Gwen (CONF): After eating nothing but Chef's gruel here, I almost cried when I saw that buffet.

It didn't take long until the campers were stuffed and the buffet was emptied. Chris saw that as the perfect time to announce, "Who's ready for part three?"

"What now?!" asked Heather.

"I thought eating was the second part," said Owen.

"You will try and stay awake as long as you can!"

"According to my calculations, us running and eating food was meant to tire us out quicker," said Lisa.

"The food tasted like it was lacking in chloroform, too," said Edd.

"All correct!" said Chris.

"Man, he's good," said Gwen.

Twelve hours later, no one had tapped out yet. "We are twelve hours in and no one has fallen asleep yet," said Chris.

"Woohoo! Stay awake for twelve hours? I could do that in my sleep!" said Owen. He promptly froze, then fell over.

Gwen (CONF): I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but this is shaping up to be the most brutal thing so far.

Heather (CONF): Now is the perfect time to make an alliance. But who's dumb enough to actually listen to me?

Lindsay is standing on her head, which Katie and Sadie notice. "What are you doing?" asked Katie.

"If I stand on my head, all the blood will rush to my head!"

"Ooh, can we try, too?" asked Sadie.

"Sure!" And with that, the BFFFL's joined the bimbo in standing on their heads.

Perfect, thought Heather. She walked over to the three girls and said, "Hey girls! How would you like to make it to the final four? I know exactly how we can do that."

"Ooh, OK!" said Sadie while the other two nodded.

"OK, then it's settled. A final four alliance. We can go over the rules later."

Heather (CONF): *yawns* Too easy. This game is so gonna be mine.

Eva walks up to Chris and asks to use the restroom. Chris allows her, and Eva walks to the confessional. However, a white MP3 player slipped out of her pocket, but Eva never noticed. Heather saw this, so she reaches out and grabs it while pretending to stretch.

The camera cut to Heather's alliance sitting in a group. "You stole Ava's MP3 player?" asked Lindsay.

"Eva? Yeah."

"She's gonna be like, really mad though."

"That's exactly what I'm counting on. And PS, Nickelback is so the worst band, EVER."

Heather (CONF): Turning a team against somebody? Easiest trick in the book.

At this point, Bridgette, Izzy, Noah, Leshawna, and Lily had fallen asleep. Tyler quickly joined them after having a nightmare Katie and Sadie had gotten attacked by a bear. This startled the remaining campers.

"Oh, thanks Tom! I needed that!" said Lindsay.

"That's Tyler, and I'm letting you know right now inter-team dating is not allowed," said Heather.

Lindsay (CONF): Hannah said I couldn't date him, but she never said I couldn't look at him!

"Let's read some fairy tales, shall we?" said Chris. "With some wonderful accompaniment by Chef!"

Chef Hatchet walked in wearing a pink tutu and carrying a handheld harp. Eddy bust out laughing, causing Chef to groan. Chef struck a chord on his harp.

"Once upon a time, there was this person. A boring person. A very boring person. A very, very boring person. Who lived in a boring village. A very boring village. A very, very boring village. In the middle of nowhere. In the middle of absolutely nowhere. In the middle of absolutely positively nowhere," said Chris.

As Chris rambled on, Courtney, DJ, Beth, Lindsay, Katie, Sadie, Jimmy, Sarah, Lincoln, May, Lola, Lucy, and Leni fell asleep.

Owen caught the attention of the remaining campers by sleepwalking back into the vicinity without clothes on.

"Oh...god," said Kevin.

"Hooray! Naked parade!" Ed undressed himself and followed Owen's lead.

"This is humiliating," said Edd, while Eddy looked up and shook his head.

The scene flashed to Justin, who had his eyes closed with his eyelids painted to look like he was awake. Lola was ogling him. "Oh, if only I had enough makeup to pull that off."

"Pull what off?" asked Lana, who walked over. She then saw Justin. "Oh. Well, he's our team, so I guess it's fine."

The camera then showed Ed and Owen walking to the edge of the cliff and falling off of it.

Cody, Geoff, Harold, Edd, Lynn, Lori, Lisa, Lana, Luna, Marie, Lee, Kevin, Jonny, Nazz, and Rolf all fell asleep. Eddy notices Justin's act. "Hey! He's not awake! He's sleeping!"

"Shut up! I've gotta see this!" said Chris. He walked over and discovered Eddy was right. Justin opened his eyes. "Justin dude, that is incredible! But you're out." After Justin left, he asked, "And has anyone seen Ed anywhere?"

"He started walking after Owen," answered Eddy.

"Chef, go get Ed," said Chris.

Owen and Ed were now outside a cave with sasquatch when Chef grabbed Ed. The sasquatch poked Owen with a stick and promptly threw him out.

Ezekiel was sitting by himself when Duncan sat down next to him. "Alright Zeke. It's time to teach you how the world really works. First off, guys and girls are created equal. Second, your parents aren't always right. And third, stop picking your nose, dude." Ezekiel was picking his nose, then stopped. "Eh, sorry eh. Bad habit."

"Well, let's kick that habit."

After Chef returned with Ed, Chris brought out a giant book. "How about some jokes?"

"Jokes?" Luan perked up.

"Oh boy," said Duncan. He then whispered to Ezekiel, "Oh, and don't ever say these!" Ezekiel nodded his understanding.

"Why did the girl call her ex-boyfriend a bottle of water? Because he had no taste!" said Chris.

Everyone groaned, except Luan, who was laughing very hard. She ended up falling asleep rather quickly from it.

By the time the jokes were finished, Eddy, Gwen, and Duncan were the only ones left. "Well would you look at that? One person from each team left standing. I'm offering a bathroom break. Any takers?" offered Chris. Silence. "OK. Well I've got nothing left, so have at it." He got up and left, leaving the three to their own devices.

Eddy ended up falling asleep first. Chris saw this and said, "And the Killer Bass vote someone out tonight!" Duncan fell asleep next, and Gwen fell asleep roughly a second later. Chris walked over, pointed a finger down at Gwen, and whispered, "And the Raging Storks win again!"

Fast forward to Eva shuffling through her cabin in a fit of rage. "WHERE?! IS MY MP3 PLAYER?!" she asked. Her teammates stood outside, fearful.

"Eva! Did you happen to lose this on the way to the bathroom?" said Heather, holding up an MP3 player.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! I'll never let you slip out of my pocket again!" she said, smiling for once. Heather then left. A look of worry appeared on Eva's face when her teammates glared her down. "I guess I let my temper go a little too far."

The Killer Bass were now at the elimination ceremony. "Bass. Welcome to your first elimination ceremony. Whoever doesn't receive a marshmallow must board the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and never return...EVER!" said Chris. "The marshmallows go to..."

"Sarah!"

"Jimmy!"

"Jonny!"

"Lee!"

"Lincoln!"

"Lynn!"

"Luan!"

"Lisa!"

"Lori!"

"Leni!

"Bridgette!"

"Leshawna!"

"And Tyler!"

"Whoo! Place at the table!" said Tyler as he caught his.

A nervous Eddy and an emotionless Eva looked at Chris. "Eddy, you were the last person on this team to fall asleep, essentially making you the reason you're all here tonight. And Eva, you fell asleep much earlier than Eddy did and threw a temper tantrum over your MP3 player. The final marshmallow goes to..."

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..."Eddy." The boy caught his marshmallow.

Eva stood up in rage. "WHAT?! Oh, that's real nice! Vote out your strongest player!"

The scene cut to Eva in the Boat of Losers, shaking a fist. "You'll all pay! You'll all pay!"

Now the focus was back on Chris. "What's gonna happen next time, right here, on TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!"

Episode 3
"Last time on Total Drama Island," said Chris.

The camera shows the campers running through the woods, followed by them being stuffed by the buffet.

"Our campers went out for an early morning jog and chowed down on some real food," said Chris.

The camera shows Owen falling asleep first, followed by Tyler screaming after having a nightmare Katie and Sadie got mauled by bears.

"But that was just a set-up for the real challenge, the Awake-a-thon!"

The camera shows Heather talking to Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay, followed by Duncan talking to Ezekiel.

"Heather formed the first ever alliance with Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay, while Duncan started teaching Ezekiel how the world really works."

The camera shows Eddy, Duncan, and Gwen falling asleep in that order, followed by Eva yelling from the Boat of Losers.

"In the end, it was the Raging Storks who won again, while this time, the Killer Bass lost, and it was Eva who got sent home!"

The camera cut to Chris. "Who will join Loserville: population: 2 next? Find out right now, right here, on TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!"

* cue intro*

The teams were in the mess hall, sans Harold and Gwen. While the Bass and Storks were well-rested, the Gophers were exhausted. Chris walked up to the Gophers' table. "Duncaaaaaaan! You look like crap, dude!"

"Stuff it."

"Harold snored all, night," said Courtney.

"Wow-how-how. Four nights with no sleep? How much are you hurting, dude?"

"Wanna find out?!" Duncan got in Chris's face. The rest of the team quickly dove under the table.

Chris held up his hands and said, "No, no, it's cool. It's cool!"

It was Harold's entrance that grabbed everyone's attention, however. Everyone gasped as a black mustache appeared on his face. Harold started strutting as if he were a celebrity, only for reality to set in, revealing everyone snickering at him. When Harold sits down, he asks, "What?"

"Someone drew on your face, man," said Geoff. Harold picked up a spoon and said, "Hey, sweet 'stache."

Gwen came in last. "Ladies and gentlemen, Gwen!" The Storks started clapping, with Lindsay asking, "Why are we clapping?" Gwen sat down, and plopped her head down her bowl of gruel.

Heather turned to Lindsay, Katie, and Sadie. "So, let's go over the rules for our alliance. Lindsay already knows we can't inter-team date. I'm also allowed to touch your stuff all I want, yet none of you are allowed to touch my stuff."

The other three frowned. "I'm not so sure about that last rule," said Katie.

"That's fine. I can find three others to take with me to the final four." The other three immediately panicked. "Good, then it's settled."

The scene flashed to an outdoor gym. Duncan entered the gym and laid down on one of the bleachers, startling his team. "Wake me up, and it'll be the last thing you do!"

"This is your fault, you know. You and your snoring face," said Courtney.

"It's called a medical condition, GOSH!" defended Harold.

Chef blew a whistle, getting everyone's attention. He walked over to Chris.

"What better challenge do we have today than a good old fashioned game of dodgeball?" said Chris.

"I stink at dodgeball," said Lincoln.

"At least you get to play; back home, they always pick that thing to play over me," Eddy said, pointing at Plank, who Jonny was holding.

"Woah, that's harsh."

"The first rule of dodgeball is?" asked Chris.

"Do not talk about dodgeball?" said Noah, referencing Fight Club. Lindsay gave him a confused stare.

"As I was saying, you must try and throw someone out by throwing a ball at them, hoping to hit them! If it hits them, they're out. If they catch it, you're out."

"Gee, throwing balls. Another mentally challenging test," said Noah.

"I know right?" said Lindsay, missing Noah's sarcasm.

"Now, since there are three teams, we're gonna have two teams play at a time. We're gonna have the Bass and the Storks go first. Pick five people to play," said Chris.

The scene cut to the Storks.

"OK, we can't get lazy here. The other teams are gonna try their hardest, what with us having won twice already. Who's going up, besides me?" said Heather.

"Alright, I volunteer," said Noah. "Now let's see all of us keeners get on out there and dodge?"

"I'll go too," said Kevin.

"I'll go three!" said Ed.

"I'll go four," said Cody.

"Then it's settled."

The camera cut to the Bass.

"I'll go!" said Tyler.

"Same here," said Eddy.

"In that case, I'll go too!" said Lee, glomping Eddy, who groaned.

"Plank says I should go, too!" said Jonny.

"I guess I'll go, too," said Bridgette.

The scene cut to Heather, Noah, Kevin, Ed, and Cody on one side of the gym and Tyler, Eddy, Lee, Jonny, and Bridgette on the other. Chef blew a whistle to start the match.

Tyler started off by spinning around before throwing his ball. The ball hit Bridgette.

"Nice one, Tyler," said Eddy sarcastically. "Now try to hit someone on their team, like this!" Eddy throws a ball at Ed, hitting him on the lips.

"OW! Eddy gave me a boo-boo!"

Kevin threw a ball at Eddy's stomach. "Haha! Dork!"

Lee got angry. "Alright, that's it! No one throws my man out like that!" She threw a ball at Kevin, who caught it. "Dang it," said the tall girl.

Heather threw a ball at Jonny, who used Plank as a bat, bouncing the ball back to Heather and hitting her. "What the heck?! That's cheating!"

"I never said he couldn't do that," shrugged Chris. Heather huffed.

Tyler tried to throw a ball at the remaining Storks, but instead hit the corner of the gym, which bounced off and hit Tyler.

"Hey Jonny! Dodge this!" said Kevin, and he, Cody, and Noah threw their balls at Jonny. Jonny hit Plank with one, dodged another, but tripped over the third. Chef blew the whistle to end the match.

"And the Raging Storks win round one!" said Chris. "Killer Bass, send five people to go up against five of the Screaming Gophers."

The scene cut back to the Bass.

"Alright, we are not losing two times in a row. It's time for the pro to play," said Lynn.

"I'll go too!" said Sarah. She turned to Jimmy and said, "You don't have to play if you don't want to, Jimmy."

"I'll pass."

"I'll go," said Lori.

"Same!" said Leni.

"Uh, no. You'll just make us lose," said Lori. Leni pouted.

"Girl, let her play. She's your sister," said Leshawna.

Lori sighed. "Fine." Leni's smile re-appeared.

"I'll go up as well," said Leshawna.

The scene cut to the Gophers.

"Allow Rolf to partake in this festivity," said Rolf.

"I'll play!" said Owen.

"Me too!" said Izzy.

"Same here," Lucy said monotonously.

"Yeah, I'll go," said Geoff.

The scene cut to Lynn, Sarah, Lori, Leni, and Leshawna against Rolf, Owen, Izzy, Lucy, and Geoff. Chef blew the whistle to start the match. Rolf threw a ball at Leni hard, causing her face to be red. Leni cried as she left the court.

Lori got angry. "No one is allowed to mess with my sister!" She threw a ball at Rolf's crotch. "The grandson of the shepherd shall cease to exist," he said weakly as he limped off.

"Guess you do care about your sister," said Leshawna. She threw a ball at Owen, who caught it. Owen then threw out Lori, while Izzy threw Sarah out.

Lynn realized she was fighting a losing battle, narrowed her eyes, and said, "Time to go hardcore." She threw a ball at Lucy first. "Sorry sis, but my team needs me." She then threw out Izzy, then Geoff. She and Owen stared each other down, then threw a ball at each other. They ended up hitting each other.

"Since Lynn hit Owen before he hit her, the Bass get the point. Gophers, send five people to go up against five of the Storks," said Chris.

The camera was on the Gophers. Courtney sighed. "We have no choice. We're losing." She then turned and glared at Harold. "You do it."

"Why me?"

"Because, you already have experience in waking people up! Now go!"

Harold was seen poking Duncan awake with a stick. Duncan grabs the stick and breaks it. "You better give me one good reason for waking me up, dorkling!"

"Look, I appreciate you needing some nap time. But right now, we're losing. If we lose this next match, we get to vote someone off again. We need your help."

Duncan sighed. "Fine. I have a strategy I picked up in juvie called 'Rush the New Guy.' Just throw all your balls at one person."

"Sounds like a good strategy. I'm in," said Trent.

"I'll go, too," said Nazz.

"Count me in, eh!" said Ezekiel.

"Can I go again, since I was the strongest player last time?" asked Owen.

"Sure, Owen!" said Courtney.

The camera cut to the Storks, who saw the Gophers take their side of the gym. "They're sending out tubby again! Alright, me, Noah, and Cody are going up again, since we survived our last match," said Kevin.

"I'll go," said Justin.

"Ooh, me too!" Lola said suddenly.

"Right, OK," said Kevin.

Duncan, Geoff. Nazz, Ezekiel, and Owen faced Kevin, Noah, Cody, Justin, and Lola. Chef blew the whistle to start the match.

"Go!" said Duncan. The five Gophers threw their balls at Kevin, who fell to the floor from the impact.

"Ouch," he said weakly before getting up to leave the court.

Cody rubbed his ball against his shirt, then threw it at Duncan, shocking him as he got hit.

Ezekiel threw Cody out. "That was for you, Duncan!" Duncan shot Ezekiel a thumbs up and a smile.

Noah tried to throw Ezekiel out, but Owen caught the ball, making Noah sigh as he left.

"Well, looks like we're actually gonna have to play," said Lola.

"Don't worry, sweet little thing. You got me to protect you," flirted Justin. Lola giggled. Justin threw a ball at Trent's left cheek.

Ezekiel threw out Justin, hitting his face. "My face! My beautiful moneymaker!" Justin cried as he left.

Lola seethed. "That's, it! NO ONE MAKES ME MAD!" She did a battle cry as she quickly threw out Ezekiel before he could react.

Owen and Nazz looked at each other worried, but then they each held up a ball and smirked. They threw their balls at Lola's cheeks, making the angry six year old cry upon impact.

Kevin facepalmed. "So close," he groaned.

Chef blew the whistle to end the match. "Well, since we're all tied, here's what's going to happen," said Chris. "All of you will be competing in a free-for-all, last man standing game. The first team to lose all of its members votes to send someone home tonight, and the last team left standing wins."

All 43 campers were now on the court. Chef blew a whistle to start the match.

Kevin glared down Duncan. "This is what you get for getting me out," he said, before throwing his ball. Ezekiel ended up stepping in and catching it before it could hit Duncan though.

"Dang it," said Kevin as he left. Ezekiel and Duncan smiled and hi-fived each other.

Tyler tried to throw Cody out, but ended up hitting Lindsay. "NOOOOO!!" he cried, before running off the court.

"Tyler, wait! No one hit you!" said Eddy. But it was too late. Tyler was sitting and talking to Lindsay. Eddy groaned angrily, then threw Ed out, making him laugh again.

"Not funny, Eddy! You gave me another boo-boo!" said Ed, pointing at his lips again before leaving.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me," said Lee. She threw May out and started laughing.

"Hey, I was supposed to do that!" cried Marie, who took Lee out. Lee grumbled.

Edd tried to lift a ball up himself, but struggled. When he finally got it off the ground, he fell backwards, and the ball fell on him, taking him out.

Bridgette lightly tapped Lily with a ball to avoid hurting her. Lily blew the surfer girl a raspberry as she left.

Sarah threw Katie and Sadie out while a nervous Jimmy clung to her.

Cody and Noah tried to throw Duncan and Ezekiel out, but Courtney and Geoff caught their balls. Izzy ended up throwing Gwen out.

"The Storks are losing with only five left!" said Chris.

"Come on, Storks!" Kevin cried out in frustration. He then saw Justin and Lola just sitting there. "Hey, do something!" he called out. The two paid no mind to him.

Heather threw a ball at Jonny, who used Plank to bounce the ball back to her again. Lana tried to take him out, but the same thing happened.

DJ threw Luna out. "It's all good, dude! Good luck out there!" the third oldest Loud said sympathetically.

Lisa threw Justin out. Lola seethed. "You just made me MAD!" she cried before throwing her ball with lots of force. Lisa just sidestepped without showing any emotion, allowing the ball to bounce back to Lola and hit her in the face hard, causing the angry girl to be reduced to tears again as she left the court.

Lisa (CONF): I show no sympathy for Lola. She threw the ball at too great a force, so this is a hundred percent her fault.

DJ threw Bridgette out, followed by Geoff. "It's cool, bro! You had to do what you had to do!" said Geoff as he left.

Lynn however, had other ideas. "I know what I have to do!" she said, before throwing DJ out.

"And the Storks will be voting someone off tonight!" said Chris. Kevin slammed his hat on the ground in a fit of rage. DJ came over and said, "Sorry I couldn't win."

"No no, it's fine," said Kevin. He then glared at Justin and Lola and said, "It's them that should be sorry."

An angry Lynn and Lori cornered Rolf. "Alright mister. You mess with our sister, you mess with us. Got it?!" said Lynn.

"Behind you!" said Rolf.

Lori rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, like I'd—" She was hit by a ball from Owen behind, making the girl huff as she left. Rolf and Owen then smirked at each other, then at Lynn. The girl's glare turned into that of a worry.

The camera cut to Lynn running away screaming, followed by Rolf jumping in front of her. Lynn screamed and turned around, only for Owen to trap her in. Both boys promptly tapped Lynn out.

Nazz threw Sarah out. "Nazz, you—ugh!" cried Sarah as she left, leaving Jimmy to stand alone, frightened. Trent walked up to Jimmy with a ball, and was about to reach out and tap him with it when Jonny stepped in between them. "I got you, Jimmy old pal!" Jonny snatched Trent's ball out of his hands and threw him out before he could react.

Eddy saw this and said, "Hey! That's a great idea!" He then signaled all the remaining Bass to gather around Jimmy in a tight circle.

The Gophers saw this. "What are they doing?" asked Harold.

"Beats me. Oh well, looks like we'll change things up a bit," said Duncan. He then noticed none of them had balls. "Everyone, try and spread your attacks out as much as you can among them!"

"Roger that!" said Harold. He threw at Jonny, but he used Plank to bounce the ball back to him. Unfortunately, he caught it. "Dang it," moaned Jonny. "Oh well, we had fun out there Plank. And not a scratch on you!"

"That makes things so much easier," said Duncan. "Alright, go quickly now!"

Duncan threw at Eddy, Harold at Lisa, Lucy at Bridgette, Courtney at Luan, Geoff at Leni, Izzy at Leshawna, and Marie targeted Lincoln. Eddy caught it at his stomach level, Lisa got hit in the face, making her glasses slanted, Bridgette caught hers, but then it slipped out, Luan caught hers, Leni was too busy covering her face with her hands to catch hers, Leshawna got hit in the stomach, and Lincoln in the crotch.

"Hey, I caught mine! I'm having a ball right now! Get it?" said Luan.

"That'll be the last joke you'll ever say," said Harold, before he threw her out. "Dang it," said the fourth oldest Loud.

At this point, Eddy was now clinging to Jimmy. "Not so tough now, huh?" said Marie. "Izzy, if you would." Izzy handed Marie her ball. Eddy and Jimmy gulped.

"And the Screaming Gophers win!" The green team cheered while the red team looked disappointed.

Once the cheering died down, Chris went over to the Raging Storks. "Storks, what happened?"

"What can I say? Weak effort," said Noah.

"I agree. I know two people who did nothing," said Kevin, glaring at Justin and Lola.

The scene cut to the elimination ceremony. "Storks, welcome to your first elimination ceremony. Whoever doesn't get a marshmallow must board the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and never return...EVER! The first marshmallow goes to...Cody!"

"Noah!"

"DJ!"

"Ed!"

"Gwen!"

"Heather!"

"Katie!"

"Sadie!"

"Lana!"

"Lily!"

"May!"

"Lindsay!"

"And Kevin!" Those called all caught their marshmallows.

Justin and Lola were left. "Justin. Lola. You two didn't participate in the challenge until it was just you two, and in Lola's case, once Justin got hit. The final marshmallow goes to...

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...Justin!" The male model caught his marshmallow.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" screamed Lola. She started pounding the ground with her fists over and over again, making Heather and Kevin laugh at her.

Chris covered his ears. "Enough already!" He turned and said, "Chef?"

The scene flashed to Lola pounding her fists into Chef's back while still screaming. When the Boat of Losers came, Chef dropped the little girl into the Boat of Losers and walked back to the campgrounds.

"I already don't miss her! Stay tuned to see what we have in store next time, right here, on TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!" yelled Chris.

Episode 4
"Last time on Total Drama Island," said Chris.

The camera shows Rolf hitting Leni out, followed by Lori hitting Rolf out.

"Our campers participated in a good old game of dodgeball!"

The camera shows Ezekiel catching a ball thrown by Kevin, followed by Rolf and Owen throwing Lynn out.

"All three teams tied after three games, so a winner takes all game was played to determine the winning team."

The camera shows Marie ready to take out a shaking Eddy and Jimmy.

"And it was the Screaming Gophers who won their first challenge!"

The camera shows Lola throwing a tantrum after getting voted off.

"And it was snotty princess Lola who got the shaft!"

The camera shows Chris. "What do we have in store at Wawanakwa Mart next? Find out right now, right here, on TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!"

The scene opened up at the main lodge. Kevin was glaring down Justin. "Listen. You don't know how lucky you are to still be here. I've got your eye on you. There can only be one pretty boy on this island, and it's gonna be me," he said, pointing at himself. Justin didn't react.

Chris walked in to the mess hall. "Welcome, campers! While y'all were getting rested, we built a new state of the art amphitheater just for you guys!"

"I feel so honored," said Gwen unenthusiastically.

"Thanks Gwen!" Chris said, missing the sarcasm. "Now if you all can follow me, I can explain some more details!"

The scene flashed to the three teams sitting in a set of bleachers for each of them. Chris stood on the stage. "Welcome to our brand new, state of the art, amphitheater!" he said.

"Way to repeat yourself," said Noah.

Chris frowned, then smiled again. "As I was saying, today is going to be a talent contest!" he said, throwing his hands up on the last two words.

"Oh yay! I've been wondering when we'd have one!" said Lindsay.

"Each team will send out three people to try and impress Chef. He will rate you up to ten on the Chef-O-Meter! The team with the highest score will win, while the team with the lowest score gets to send someone home. Go ahead and go backstage and decide amongst yourselves who should go up. Oh, and Duncan? It can't be something illegal." Duncan snapped his fingers in frustration.

The scene cut to the Bass.

"I once made my own popsicles!" said Jimmy.

"He gets my vote," said Lynn.

"Mine too," said Lincoln.

"Mine three!" said Leni.

"So Jimmy's going up," said Bridgette. "Me, I can stand on my hands for twenty minutes."

"Well, I don't know if we can do twenty minutes, but if you can walk real far, he might still be impressed. Like, the stage, you know what I'm talking about?" said Leshawna.

"OK then," said Bridgette. "Now we just need one more."

"I'll go!" said Tyler.

"And do what? Trip over your shoelaces? Yeah right," said Eddy.

"I would not! I bet I could tackle Chef!" The team either laughed or rolled their eyes.

"How about Lynn? She's strong," suggested Lincoln. Some murmurs of agreement sounded from the team.

"So Jimmy, Bridgette, and Lynn are going," said Lori.

The camera cut to the Gophers.

"I'm going. I can play the violin real well," said Courtney. "Anyone else?"

"I can speak eight different languages, eh!" said Ezekiel.

"Anyone else?"

"I can do—" started Harold.

"Next." Harold frowned.

"I can do some neat skateboarding tricks," said Geoff. Courtney rolled her eyes.

"I can burp the ABC's!" announced Owen. He took a giant two liter bottle of pop and drank it whole. He then burped the entire alphabet. The guys all cheered, but the girls all looked unimpressed.

"No," was Courtney's answer.

"Hold on, I can fart Beethoven's 5th!" Now everyone protested against Owen.

"OK, anyone else?"

"I can shred a mean guitar solo!" said Luna.

"Fine...not like anyone else can offer anything useful. Anyone else?"

"I can play the tuba," said Nazz.

"At this point we're running out of ideas, so yeah sure, why not. Me, Luna, and Nazz are going."

Now the camera focused on the Storks.

"I'm a ballerina back home, so obviously I'm going," said Heather. "Who else is going?"

"I can ribbon dance," said DJ.

"Only one dancer, and it's me," said Heather. DJ frowned.

"Ooh, I think Justin should go up!" suggested Sadie. She and Katie were looking at Justin, who wasn't even including himself in the discussion, had his shirt off, and was drinking a bottle of water.

"What can he do?!" protested Kevin.

"Look at him!" said Katie. A droplet of water melted on Justin's chest, making the BFFFLs swoon.

"Forget it."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee—" started the BFFFLs.

Kevin covered his ears. "Alright, FINE!" he cried. He uncovered his ears, but quickly recovered them as the two girls squealed in delight.

"Alright, so who's the last one going?" said Heather.

"I'll go," said Kevin. "Got some bike tricks that I know will impress him."

"Then it's settled. Justin, Kevin, and I are going."

The scene cut back to the amphitheater, with the non-participants sitting back in the bleachers. Chris was on stage. "Welcome to Wawanakwa's first ever talent show! These nine hopefuls are here to try and win it for their team! First up, we have the Bass! First up is Jimmy, who claims to make popsicles!"

The audience applauded as Jimmy walked in, dragging a refrigerator lying down with him. He held a plank of water and stuck it into one of the refrigerators. Eventually, he opened the refrigerator and pulled the stick out, revealing a giant orange popsicle with oranges inside.

"Woah, impressive! Let's see what Chef thinks," said Chris. Nine lights out of ten lit up on the Chef-o-Meter. "Alright, good start! Now it's Lynn's turn. She claims she can tackle Chef!" He starts laughing.

Chef grumbles as he gets up on stage. Lynn runs in with a battle cry and tackles him pretty easily, making him cry out in pain.

"Let's see what he thought about that!" said Chris. Eight lights appear. "Eight! Good start! Now it's up to Bridgette to keep the momentum going!"

The crowd applauded again as the surfer girl entered the stage walking on her hands. Unfortunately, she quickly got nauseous, and she started throwing up in front of the stage. Chris quickly dove under his table. "Everyone duck!" No one had to be told twice.

When Bridgette stopped puking, everyone came up. "Well, let's see—" Bridgette threw up one last time, and Chris got blasted. "What Chef thinks!" he said, angry now. One light showed up. "Eighteen points for the Killer Bass! Now let's see the Killer Storks' talents! First up is Heather and her ballerina moves!"

Heather saw Courtney practicing the violin, then smirked as she got an idea. She got on stage, started dancing to quiet piano music, then "accidentally" got her leg trapped on a rope holding up a light, causing Heather to fly up to where the light was and the light itself to hit Courtney's violin.

"Wonder what Chef has to say for that," said Chris. Three lights appeared. "Not good, Heather."

Heather (CONF): It was worth it. It's their team's loss, not mine.

"YOU! You broke my violin!" Courtney cried up to Heather. Then the CIT actually did start crying.

"Oh, sorry! I thought I had all my moves down," Heather feigned sympathy.

"What are we gonna do?" Courtney asked Duncan. The delinquent shrugged. "I can't believe I'm asking this right now, but what can Harold do again?" Courtney looked down and sighed.

"Next we have Justin with his hotness!" said Chris. Justin walked in to applause, then said, "This one's for you, Lola." He did a flash dance, then poured a bucket tied by a rope over him, dousing him with water.

"Let's see what Chef thinks," said Chris. Nine lights appeared. "Really, Chef?"

"What? Dude's called a 'pretty boy' for a reason."

"Well, OK. The Storks have twelve points, so this next person needs at least six points to tie, seven to be guaranteed safe. And that person is Kevin, with his bike tricks!"

Applause sounded again as Kevin wheeled in on his bike. He then started doing a figure eight, then accelerated from one side of the stage to the other, then turned around and jumped to the lights, and rode on all of them without having them fall off, then landed perfectly on a cowboy position. Mass applause and cheers sounded.

"Let's see what Chef thought," said Chris. Ten lights lit up. "Perfect score, Kevin! That's 22 points for the Storks, meaning they are safe!" The Storks cheered and started chanting, "Kevin! Kevin! Kevin!" while the boy in question bowed with a smile on his face. Eddy growled in anger.

Eddy (CONF): Great! Four episodes in, and my team still hasn't finished first place in a stupid challenge!

"Alright, Gophers, you need 23 points to finish first, and 19 to avoid worrying about elimination," said Chris. "First up is Courtney with her violin!"

"Funny story! Someone broke it!" her voice cried out. She held out her broken violin, making the cast gasp.

"Ooh," said Chris. "Hope you've got a replacement on hand. Anyhoo, we've got Luna with her guitar solo!"

The audience clapped as the rocker Loud entered the stage with her rock guitar. She started shredding Dragonforce's Through the Fire and Flames, which got a couple hoots and hollers right away. Once she finished the song, widespread cheering took place.

"Chef?" asked Chris. Nine lights lit up. "Good! Next is Nazz with her tuba solo!"

More clapping as Nazz went on with a sousaphone wrapped around her. She tried to blow a concert B flat, but blew what sounded like a truck horn and a cruise ship horn together. The cast covered their ears.

"I, think we've heard enough, thanks." said Chris. "Chef?" Four lights lit up. "Whoever this last person is has to get a ten to win, or at least a six to beat the Bass. So whoever you are, come out come out, wherever you are!"

Harold walked out. He took a big breath into the microphone, then started beat boxing. He managed to keep a consistent rhythm, and threw in a couple of extra stuff, like "Gosh!" into the mix to keep the beat fresh. When he stopped, everyone went silent, then cheered louder than they had before.

"Wow Harold. Let's see what Chef thought," said Chris. Ten lights lit up again. "Alright, the Gophers win with 23 points, and the Bass will be sending someone home!" The cheering Gophers ran on stage and held Harold up, the Storks looked disappointed, and the Bass shot glares at Bridgette, who looked worried.

Bridgette (CONF): Well, I can always make money at the surf shack.

The Killer Bass sat at the campfire. "Bass. Congratulations on being the first team to have to go to elimination again. Also congratulations on being the only team to still not have finished first in a single challenge! Sucks to be you right now, ha ha. When I call your name, come get your marshmallow.

Jimmy.

Lynn.

Luan.

Tyler.

Lincoln.

Lori.

Leni.

Lisa.

Jonny.

Sarah.

Leshawna.

And Lee." They all caught their marshmallows. Eddy and Bridgette were left without theirs. "Eddy. Welcome back to the bottom two, bud. Though to be honest, I have no idea why you're here. Oh yeah, it's because only Bridgette voted for you, and everyone else voted for Bridgette, so congratulations! You're safe!" Chris threw Eddy his marshmallow.

Bridgette stood up. "Well, I'm a little disappointed I had to leave this early, but I can't say I didn't see it coming. Good luck guys!" she said. Everyone chorused their farewells to her as she went down the Dock of Shame and boarded the Boat of Losers.

The camera cut to Chris. "Will the Bass finally finish first in a challenge? What will Heather and try and do next? Tune in next time, right here, on TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!"

Episode 5
"Last time on Total Drama Island," said Chris.

The camera shows Jimmy making his own giant popsicle, followed by Lynn charging and tackling Chef.

"We got to see what our campers were made of by hosting a talent show!"

The camera shows Heather "accidentally" messing up, causing a stage light to fall and break Courtney's violin, followed by Harold beatboxing, and finally him being carried off by the rest of his team.

"Heather sabotaged an opposing team again by preventing Courtney from competing, but it was all for naught as Harold won it for the Gophers."

The camera shows Bridgette throwing up on stage, followed by her getting eliminated.

"And in the end, Bridgette's weak stomach led to her catching the Boat of Losers."

The camera cut to the host. "Who will set sail next time, on TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!

* cue intro*

It was daytime, but everyone was sitting around the campfire. "Alright campers. These last few challenges have been about camp festivities. You know, fun stuff. Today, I'd like to see how you'd do in a real world situation. Which is why today, you'll be camping out in the woods!"

"Sweet!" said Lincoln.

"I'm not gonna lie, some of you might not even make it back alive!" said Chris. Some campers looked worried. "Just kidding. We would lose our show if that happened. But seriously. Good luck out there. And watch out for the bears!" And with that, our host left.

Everyone looked at one another. "Did he just say there were bears up there?" asked Leshawna, fear clearly in her voice.

"I had an encounter with a bear once. It bit me in the butt," said Owen. He then pulled his pants down. "Check it out!"

Mostly grossed out expressions sounded. Rolf patted Owen on the back. "You have such good bravery, Owen boy."

"That, is SO cool," agreed Izzy.

The three teams got to walking into the woods. The camera focused on the Gophers. Geoff was looking a bit down in particular, and was farthest back. Luna looked at him and slowed to his level. "You OK, dude?"

"Yeah, I just...you know that girl they just kicked off?"

"Bridgette?"

"Yeah, I...kind of had a crush on her, man. Even though she was on a different team and all."

"Wow, bro. I didn't know that. You just always seemed so happy and all, that it just seemed like one of the last things you'd be thinking about."

"Well, you know, with them getting close, I mean..." Geoff was pointing a hand at Courtney and Duncan, who happened to be next to each other. They turned to Geoff. "Who, us? We're not dating," said Courtney.

"Yeah, darn shame," said Duncan, although it was clear that to him, it wasn't really a darn shame. Especially as he smirked to himself.

The camera shifted to the Storks. "The woods are an evil place, guys. So much monsters lurk in the dark. It's like a real life horror movie," said Ed.

"Quit trying to scare us, dork," said Kevin.

"It's true! The snatchers have already swiped two humans!"

Kevin turned back to Ed. "Stop it, Ed!" He then saw Katie and Sadie weren't with the team. "Wait. Where's Katie and Sadie?"

"Being snatched! It's already starting to happen!" cried Ed. "Who knows who's gonna be taken next?"

Katie and Sadie had taken a stray path after seeing a bush full of blueberries. "Where's the rest of our team?" Katie asked Sadie. Sadie shrugged. "Oh great! Now we're lost!" cried Katie.

"Katie, look!" Sadie pointed at the oncoming Gophers.

"Y'all look lost. Y'all OK, dudes?" asked Luna.

"We went to look for some blueberries, and we can't find the rest of our team," said Katie.

"They're up ahead."

"Oh, thanks!" The two BFFFLs left.

The camera cut to the Bass. They were walking normally until Lincoln accidentally farted, prompting the team to stare at him. "Oops. Sorry."

"Oh, you'll be sorry alright," said Lynn. "Dutch oven!" She jumped into a piggyback position on Lincoln and farted, then got off and laughed.

"Aw, man!" said Lincoln.

"You two, stop it!" ordered Lori.

"According to my calculations Lori, you're the person in our family who's emitted the most flatulence," said Lisa.

"I do not!" cried Lori. Just then, she herself tooted. "That was my shoe! I swear it was my shoe!"

"Keep telling yourself that, Lori." Lori huffed.

The camera cut to the Storks arriving at camp. "Alright, I need one person to help me set up the tent," said Kevin.

"I'll do it!" offered Lana. The two unfolded the tent they had carried with them.

Just then, Katie and Sadie appeared. "Sorry we're late. We looked for blueberries," said Sadie.

"If we're gonna look for food, we're gonna do it together," said Kevin. "Look what you two did to Lumpy over there!" He points at Ed, who says, "The end is near, guys!"

"What's up with him?" asked Katie.

"Don't get me started," said Kevin, who facepalmed.

The camera now showed the Gophers. "At last! We've made it!" said Edd.

"Where's our food?" asked Owen, noticing the lack of.

"It's a survival challenge," said Trent.

"Oh."

"Ooh, we should start making bear sounds and see if that would attract a real bear!" said Izzy.

"Great idea! After all, I'm the bear expert," said Owen. The rest of the team exchanged worried glances.

The camera showed the Bass arriving now. "Where's our shelter?" asked Eddy. "The Stork dorks have the tent, and what if it rains?"

Leni glomped Eddy. "Aw, cheer up! It's not gonna rain! See, there's not a cloud in the sky!" Both looked up. Clouds started to roll in, with one covering up the sun. Eddy narrowed his eyes at a sheepishly grinning Leni.

Lee (CONF): Nobody's allowed to touch my man but me!

The sun had now set, and the Storks had set up the tent. The rest of the team was in the tent, while Ed was outside. "Soon the snatchers will be coming, guys," said Ed.

"Get inside, Ed! Stop trying to scare us!" said Kevin.

Ed went inside, then said, "It's true! The snatchers took Katie and Sadie, and they were lucky to escape!"

Katie and Sadie looked at each other, confused and a bit scared themselves. "What's he talking about?" asked Sadie. Katie shrugged.

"Oh my gosh, I don't wanna get kidnapped at night!" Lindsay said, taking the thing at face value.

"Oh my gosh, I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight!" said Sadie. She and Katie hugged each other and whimpered. Lindsay stood there alone, terrified herself. Ed hugged her. "I'll be your huggy buddy!" Lindsay sniffed, then said, "Ew! When's the last time you showered?"

"Showers are evil."

"EW!" Lindsay said louder, and broke away from Ed's grasp. Ed hugged himself.

Kevin (CONF): I hate my team.

The Gophers were without Owen and Izzy. "Where's Owen and Izzy?" asked Courtney.

"I guess they are trying to get us killed," said Duncan.

"IZZY! OWEN! GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HERE!" cried the CIT.

Just then, Owen ran to them, screaming. A bear followed him. The rest of the team quickly climbed up a tree, except Rolf, who entered a battle stance.

"Rolf, you're gonna get KILLED, dude!!" Nazz cried out in desperation.

"Nonsense, Nazz girl. Hi-yah!" Rolf punched the bear, causing it to fall to the ground, dead.

"Th-thanks, dude. You're a real life saver, man," said Geoff.

Just then, giggling could be heard from the bear. The bear took its head off, revealing Izzy.

"Izzy?" asked Geoff.

"You mean you two tricked us?!" Courtney said, glaring at Owen and Izzy. The rest of the team likewise glared at them.

"Uhhh, heh heh," Izzy said nervously. "At least it wasn't a real bear, am I right?"

Just then, another bear could be heard from the forest behind the tree the team had climbed up.

Rolf went in the direction of the bushes and said, "Begone, pest!" He punched the bear, who roared loudly before falling to the ground.

"You have no idea how lucky you are right now," Courtney said to Izzy and Owen.

The camera cut to the Bass. "Well, I guess it's time to hit the hay," said Lee.

Jimmy heard rustling. "What was that?" he asked, pointing at the source. Just then, a bear came up and roared. The red team screamed and ran deeper into the woods, the bear on their heels.

The camera now showed the Storks. "Ed, give it up! There are no such things as snatchers!" said Kevin. He was getting really fed up at this point.

Ed took one more look outside the tent's flap and said, "I SEE THINGS!" He promptly bolted out of the tent and ran in the other direction.

"Dang it Ed, come on!" cried Kevin. But then he saw for himself what it was. It looked like a group of people from the distance with yelling and roaring sounding "We got a problem, guys," he said with fear in his voice.

"What is it? I'm too scared to look!" cried Lindsay.

"It's a—" The screaming and roaring got louder, and eventually Kevin made out the situation. The Bass were being chased by a bear. "BEAR!!" He and the rest of the team screamed and ran away with the Bass, leaving their tent behind. The bear promptly chewed up the tent to smithereens, then ran back the away it came.

"Our tent!" cried Kevin.

"Why don't we uh, stay together tonight?" offered Eddy.

"Yeah, I guess. It's not like things could get worse," said Lori. Just then, drops started to fall, and it quickly started pouring.

The camera cut to the Gophers. "Weak sauce, dudes. Wanna just huddle together?" offered Luna. Some "yeah, sure" comments sounded and the team huddled together as the rain fell.

The next morning, the Gophers woke up from their awkward position. "Alright team, we had a rough night sleeping in a position that shall never be mentioned again, but now we're gonna be the first team back at camp!" said Courtney.

"I wasn't complaining," said Duncan.

"Shut up, Duncan." The team started walking.

"You know you want me, babe." Courtney huffed.

The Storks and the Bass were together when they woke up. Noah was kissing Cody right cheek when they woke up and screamed at each other.

"Oh hoh, man! That's rich!" said Kevin. "Let's go guys!"

The two teams ran back the way they came. "Come on, Bass! Let's make it back before they do!" said Lynn.

Chris and Chef were at camp. "Alright, I see some people coming! Who is it?" He entered a lookout position and saw it was the green team. "And the Screaming Gophers win!" The green team cheered. "Now it's a matter of who's safe and who's voting someone off tonight!"

Just then, the other two teams ran together towards the camp.

"C'mon c'mon c'mon!" cried Lynn as she quickly made it back.

"Pick it up, Storks!" cried Kevin as he made it back.

Eventually, both teams made it back. "Well, it looks like one of you made it all back before the other did, despite the close race. The winner is...

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...the Raging Storks!" The blue team cheered lightly and sighed in relief. The read team moaned. "I can't believe we lost again!" Eddy cried. He was getting angry.

"Bass, you and me. Campfire. Tonight."

The Bass sat at the mess hall. "It's not fair! We were so close!" griped Eddy.

"Someone needs a hug! Yes you do!" Lee said as she glomped the moaning boy.

"Get off me, please!"

Lee did so. "Well, I guess I'll decide when I get there. Good luck, Eddy." She got up and left.

Eddy turned to the rest of the team. "You know what? She has got to go."

"Aw, does poor Eddy have some girl problems?" taunted Sarah. Jimmy laughed.

"Shut up Sarah! You don't know what she's like! It's bad enough being on the worst team so far!"

"I agree," said Jonny, coming to Eddy's defense. "Them Kanker sisters stole Plank from me that one time!" He then said to Plank, "I'll never let you out of my sight, buddy. You hear me?"

"It wood be a good idea to make Eddy happy by doing that! Heh heh, get it?" said Luan. Some eye rolls came from her team. "What? Plank...being in the woods..."

"Just literally stop," said Lori.

The Bass were now at the campfire ceremony. "Bass, welcome back. Whoever doesn't get a marshmallow—"

"Just get on with it!!" Sarah cried impatiently.

"OK fine, sheesh!" said Chris. "Marshmallows go to...

Sarah!

Jimmy!

Jonny!

Leshawna!

Tyler

Luan!

Leni!

Lori!

Lincoln!

Lisa!

And Lynn!" They all caught their marshmallows. Eddy and Lee were left on the bottom. Lee gasped, then hugged Eddy against his will again. "We're gonna be separated, Eddy!"

"Eddy. Lee. One of you is about to leave this island and never come back...EVER. The final marshmallow goes to...

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...Eddy. Again." Eddy caught the marshmallow and said "Phew!"

Lee stood up in a rage. "Aw, come on, seriously! I did nothing wrong!"

"Except for disregard Eddy's personal space, that is," pointed out Lisa.

"Dock of shame awaits, Lee," said Chris.

The camera shows Lee stomping down the Dock of Shame and boarding the Boat of Losers.

The camera cut to Chris. "Will the Bass finally stop losing? Will we see a guy get sent home for once? Find out next time, right here, on TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!"

Episode 6
"Last time on Total Drama Island," said Chris.

The camera showed Lynn giving Lincoln a dutch oven.

"Our campers spent a night in the woods," said Chris.

The camera shows the Gophers huddling together after it rains, followed by the other two teams running away from a bear.

"Although no one had a good night thanks to it raining, the Storks and the Bass had to outrun a bear! Heh heh."

The camera shows the Gophers arriving first, followed by the Storks barely making it back before the Bass.

"And to make matters worse for them, the Gophers won, and it was the Bass who had to vote someone out."

The camera shows Eddy telling the team to vote Lee off, followed by Lee stomping down the Dock of Shame.

"In the end, Eddy convinced the team to send Lee home."

The camera shows Chris. "Who will join our five ladies next? Will it be another lady? Or will a guy finally get sent home? Find out right now, right here, on TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!"

* cue intro*

The Bass had not left the campfire when the Gophers arrived. "What do you want?" cried Eddy.

"Came to rub in your victory?" asked Lynn.

"No, seems someone couldn't control their flatulence," Edd said, glaring at Owen, who promptly farted again.

"Ew," said Trent.

"I'm glad we sent Lee home. She scares me," said Eddy.

"Wait, you sent Lee home?!" Marie cried out in anger.

"Wait, she's not here?" May said stupidly.

"Duh," said Eddy.

"LET ME AT HIM!" Marie yelled. She got held back by Nazz and Rolf.

"Sheesh, have a cow," said Eddy. "No need to act like my older brother. You'll never be as scary as him."

"He is something, but I personally loathe gym equipment," said Edd. He then got the ball rolling with, "So fellows, what are your biggest phobias?"

"Flying, man!" said Owen.

"Oh yeah, Izzy would never go up in a plane," agreed Izzy.

"I'm scared of mimes," said Trent.

"Hail, man. It's small, yet deadly," said Geoff.

"Calling it deadly is a stretch," said Lisa. "Me personally, a mistake in calculating." When she saw the stares she got, she added, "You have no idea."

"I hate losing a game I was winning," said Lynn.

"I would be terrified if Bobby Boo-Boo Bear broke up with me," said Lori.

"I hate heights," said Marie.

"Falling objects," said Jimmy.

"Plank being violated," said Jonny.

"Lucy's predictions," said Lincoln.

"Me being caught liking something girly," said Lucy.

"The death of one of my idols," said Luna.

"Seeing Jimmy get attacked," said Sarah.

"Having to tell inappropriate material," said Luan.

"Rolf detests wolves! They do nothing except devour my flock!" said Rolf.

"Public schools, eh! Or really, anything public!" said Ezekiel.

"Ninjas!" said Harold.

"Chickens give me the creeps," said Tyler.

"I hate green jelly! It's so slimy and...ew," said Courtney.

"I am deathly terrified of spiders," said Leshawna.

"Oh, I know right! I can't stand them!" agreed Leni.

"I agree, though I hate all kinds of bugs to be honest," said Nazz. She then asked, "What about you Duncan?"

Duncan gulped. He saw Luna, Courtney, Edd, Marie, Ezekiel, Jonny, Sarah, Leni, and Tyler looking at him with smiles on their faces, and Jimmy, Eddy, Lori, Lincoln, Lucy, Lisa, Luan, Trent, Lynn, Izzy, Owen, Rolf, Nazz, Harold, Geoff, and Leshawna looking at him without smiles on their faces. "C-Celine Dion music store standees," he said while burying his head in his hands.

"WHAT?! No way!!" Eddy said, laughing hysterically.

"Eddy, compose yourself! Mocking one's fears is anything but funny," said Edd.

Lincoln yawned. "Well, good night everybody!" Everybody said their goodnight's as they all got up and left.

The next morning, the teams were sitting in the mess hall with their breakfast served. Chris came in shortly afterwards. "I hope y'all had a good night's sleep, because it may be your last!" He then laughed. Everyone looked at him confused and a bit frightened. "What does he mean by that?" asked Lincoln.

"Ah, but seriously? Public schools? Mimes? Celine Dion music store standees? And what do you mean by 'being violated?'" Chris continued.

Leshawna realized what was happening. "Oh no. You don't mean—"

"OUR FEARS HAVE BEEN REALIZED!" panicked Edd.

"Oh the inhumanity!" cried Jimmy.

"Wait, how'd he know our worst fears?" asked Leni.

"Easy: the abundance of surveillance cameras plus our unforeseen idiocy in saying something confidential winding up in the hands of someone who clearly can't keep said things confidential," said Lisa.

Leni paused for a bit, then said, "Oh."

"Oh man, good thing we didn't go out there last night, huh guys?" Kevin asked his team giddily. They nodded.

"Oh, you will announce your worst fears, alright," said Chris. The smug smiles on the Storks' faces vanished. "Come on, spit 'em out!"

Kevin sighed. "Ugh fine."

"Here it comes!" Eddy said to his team.

"N-needles," said Kevin.

Eddy promptly laughed and fell to the ground.

"Eddy, compose yourself!" Edd reordered.

"Wait, you mean like this?" asked Leni. She started conducting like a drum major. Lisa facepalmed while Edd looked up.

"Having to defuse a time bomb under pressure," said Cody.

"Snakes, man!" said DJ.

"Bath bad for Ed!" said Ed.

"Being buried alive," said Gwen.

"I hate sumo wrestlers," said Heather.

"Getting my good lucks ruined," said Justin. Kevin rolled his eyes.

"Bad haircuts!" said Katie.

"Oh, I know, right?" said Sadie.

"Oh my gosh, totally! I was gonna say walking through a minefield in high heels, but that is so much worse!" said Lindsay.

"Yeah, I know right?" said May.

Lily nodded her agreement.

"I hate gym equipment. I'm this skinny for a reason," said Noah.

"Power tools," said Lana. "I prefer the more basic stuff."

"Well then, let's get started, shall we?" said Chris. He turned and called, "Oh, Che-ef?"

Chef walked into the mess hall wearing a spider costume. Leni and Leshawna immediately screamed and took off, while Nazz stood there shivering.

"All you have to do Nazz is punch the spider," said Chris. Nazz hesitantly walked up, closed her eyes, and gave the Chef spider a good punch, causing him to hold his right shoulder and cry out in pain.

"Oh Chef, that did not hurt!" said Chris.

"You try getting punched by a twelve year old girl then!" said Chef.

Chris laughed a bit. "That's one point for the Gophers." He turned to Katie, Sadie, Lindsay, May, and Lily and helf out five brown wigs. "Here you go girls!" He put them on them, and May instantly started screaming, and Lily instantly started crying. Chris got their wigs off them, and they stopped. He turned to Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay and said, "OK, all you have to do is go an hour wearing those things, and you get a point." The three girls nodded, though they looked uncomfortable.

Owen and Izzy were now both outside. Both of them looked horrified, and Owen cried, "NO HO HOOO!"

A yellow plane that definitely saw better days was standing in front of them. Chef, dressed in a blue pilot's uniform, said, "All aboard!" The two teens nervously got on the plane.

Harold opened the door to the confessional and saw a ninja. Without batting an eyelid, he got out a pair of nunchucks...and promptly knocked himself out onto the toilet. The teams' scores appeared, signaling he got a point, the second for the Gophers.

Heather meanwhile, was gulping in horror at a sumo wrestler, who promptly fell over her. Chris came out and said, "No point!" He then turned to Gwen and said, "Meet me at the beach." Gwen gulped. The next thing she knew, she was inside a glass box with sand being shoveled on top of her. "All you have to do is stay in there for five minutes," said Chris.

Next, a montage plays, with DJ successfully reaching down and picking up a snake, Cody failing to defuse a bomb because he was too scared to make a cut, Noah and Edd failing miserably running on treadmills, letting their fears overcome them, Lori refusing to listen to the time Bobby broke up with her, and Rolf tackling a wolf and revealing it's a miserable Chef underneath. Owen and Izzy get back from their flight.

"Lana, you have to use this!" said Chris, before pulling out a red power drill. Lana gulped. "And you'll be cutting this!" He pulled out Plank.

Jonny panicked. "NOO!!! Give him back to me this instant!!" he cried.

"Sheesh. Well, looks like neither Jonny nor Lana get points then. Bass, you're 0 for 4. Better pick up the pace. Wouldn't wanna lose three times in a row now, would you?" He turned to Lincoln and said, "Lincoln, Lucy has something to say."

Lincoln gulped as Lucy got out a fortune-telling card and said, "Lincoln, you will make a fool of yourself today."

Lincoln snapped. "What?! No I won't! Your predictions are a load of—" What followed was a long line of bleeps. The camera cut to Chris, then the Bass, the Gophers, the Storks, and finally to Lucy, all except the first and last of whom had shocked reactions (Chris was interested, and Lucy had no visible reaction).

Lynn (CONF): Oh man! He is so grounded when we get home!

"Lincoln! You know you get a point, right? I mean, you did listen to her card, so," said Chris.

Lincoln's face flushed. "Dang it. I made a fool of myself today."

Chris turned to Lucy. "Lucy, a video for you." He got out a video tape, had Chef wheel in a monitor, and he put the tape in. It showed a video of Lucy sitting on the toilet reading a Princess Pony comic. Lucy tries to stay calm, but eventually snaps and turns off the tape. "No point," said Chris. "I'll go get Gwen, and then we'll keep going." He left to go to the beach.

Eventually, Chris and Gwen came back. "Jimmy! Geoff! If you would," he said, while pointing outside. Confused, the two looked at each other, shrugged, and walked outside. "Good luck Jimmy!" Sarah called.

The two stood outside when suddenly they felt something dark appear over them, causing them to look up. Soon, hail started coming down, causing the two to run around screaming.

"Jimmy? Jimmy!" Sarah cried, before going outside and seeing the two get pelted with hail. She quickly recoiled and covered her eyes. "I can't watch!" She went back inside, causing her to fail.

Trent got out and saw Chris was using a remote control to control a hail storm. "Can you make it go lower and pelt them harder?" he suggested.

Chris was stunned. "You are one sick dude! But yeah," and he did so. The two boys continued screaming. "Oh yeah, that reminds me. Trent, look behind you."

"Huh?" He turned and saw a mime. He screamed and ran into the water. He looked up at the mime and said, "Uh, stop! Your make up will run!" The mime frowned and left.

"Nicely played, Trent! But that doesn't count," said Chris. He then turned to Jimmy and Geoff and said, "Alright boys, time's up!" He turned off the remote, and the two boys breathed a sigh of relief before high-fiving each other.

After the three returned to the mess hall, Chris removed Katie, Sadie, and Lindsay's wigs (to their reliefs) and said, "Luna, I have an announcement! You know Linkin Park?"

"Yeah, dude! My favorite non-British band!"

"Yeah well, their lead singer, Chester Bennington, hung himself recently."

Luna sat there, crushed. The scene cut to the exterior of the mess hall, where crows fly away at Luna's cry of, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!" It cut back inside, with Luna crying as the scoreboard gave the Gophers their seventh point.

"Gophers, that's seven points," Chris said before turning to the Bass. "That means Bass, the best you can do is a tie with them. The team looked annoyed and defeated, except for...

"What?! Oh come on, I thought we'd have a chance!" cried Lynn.

"Well, sorry," said Chris, even though it was clear he wasn't. "Oh, and that outburst meant you couldn't handle suddenly losing, so you fail!" Lynn gritted her teeth and clenched her fists.

Chris handed Lisa a calculator and said, "Lisa! Type in 1 plus 2 times 3!" Lisa did so, and got 9. Chris leaned over and said, "Ooh, nope! The answer was 7!"

Lisa didn't skip a beat. "If I may, sir, the calculator is incapable of doing order of operations. It is nothing more than a trick to try and get me to mess up."

"Alright, you got me. That's three points for the Bass!" He turned to Eddy and said, "Oh Eddy!" Just then, Eddy's brother walked in. Eddy gulped.

"Why hello there, bro. Say, you did such a good job beating me at uncle that other day, that why not have a rematch?"

Eddy looked fearful, but then he slowly felt himself get angry. Suddenly, he ran and kicked his brother in the crotch, making him scream and fall to the ground, clutching his privates. "Uncle."

"Make that four points!" said Chris. He then turned to Ezekiel and said, "Hope you've got a good public speech ready!"

Ezekiel gulped, then slowly made his way to the center of the mess hall. He took a deep breath and said, "I never knew how life worked, eh. My dad told me girls needed help, and were dumber and weaker than guys. But then I quickly learned here that that is not the case, eh. And I owe it all to Duncan, eh! He helped teach me during the Awake-a-thon what I needed to know!"

After a pause, widespread applause came from the others. Duncan looked stunned. Courtney gave him a hug, stunning him further. But then a smile appeared on his face.

"Wow. Didn't expect Duncan to be doing that!" said Chris. "Speaking of which, Chef?"

Chef laid out a cardboard cut out of Celine Dion. Duncan gulped, then thought to himself, Pretend it's Courtney. He then ran over and hugged it. More applause sounded as Chris announced, "And Duncan gets a point! That makes it nine for the Gophers, meaning they officially win no matter what, so Courtney and Marie don't need to face their fears!" The green team promptly cheered, and Courtney pulled Duncan into another hug. The red and blue teams were unhappy, with Eddy growling.

After that, Chris continued. "Luan and Tyler. Both of you need to face your fears successfully in order to win!" He turned to Luan and said, "What word did Lily say when she got her donut taken away?"

A worried Luan sweated and stuttered, before finally giving up and saying, "I...I can't do it. Sorry."

"Alright Tyler, it comes down to you." Chef brought in a cage with numerous chickens in it. Tyler gulped as Chef opened the cage. The jock took a step in...followed by another step...then got into a fetal position. After a while, Chris said, "Uh, I don't think we're getting anywhere with this." He then announced, "So for the third time in a row, the Storks finish second, and the Bass will have to vote someone out."

The Storks cheered up a little, while the Bass glared at Tyler. "What? Only four of us faced our fears!"

"Yeah, and I was one of 'em!" said Eddy. "And I am sick of losing!" And with that, Tyler's teammates left the mess hall, leaving Tyler to sit there, worried he may have just taken himself out.

At the campfire, Chris got started again. "Four times out of six you've lost. Marshmallows go to...

Eddy!

Lisa!

Jimmy!

Lincoln!

Sarah!

Leshawna!

Luan!

Jonny!

Lori!

And Leni!" Those ten all got their marshmallows. Lynn and Tyler were left. "Lynn. Tyler. You two are on the chopping block. Lynn, your failure cost your team first place. Tyler, your failure cost your team second place. The final marshmallow goes to...

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...Lynn!" The girl beamed as she caught her marshmallow.

Tyler was angry. "Oh, come on, man! I wasn't the only one who failed!" Just then, everyone else threw their marshmallows at him.

"You need to learn a little thing called respect, turkey! Or should I say, chicken?" said Leshawna. She and Luan then hi-fived.

"Whatever," Tyler huffed as he left to get on the Boat of Losers. As he got on, he saw chickens everywhere, causing him to scream in terror as the boat drove off into the distance.

"How long will it take for the Bass to win a challenge? Tune in next time, right here, on TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!"

Episode 7
"Last time on Total Drama Island," said Chris.

The camera shows Heather failing to conquer her fear, followed by Harold successfully completing his.

"Our campers faced their worst fears!"

The camera shows Geoff and Jimmy hi-fiving each other, followed by May and Lily freaking out shortly after getting their wigs on.

"Some took their fears better than others."

The camera shows Duncan running into a Celine Dion standee, followed by Tyler sitting in fetal position in the chicken coop.

"But the real winner was Duncan, who gave the Gophers their fourth straight victory, while the loser was Tyler, who caused the Bass to go to elimination three times in a row."

The camera shows Tyler downplaying his failure, followed by him getting pelted by marshmallows at the campfire.

"And after trying to downplay his failure, he was swiftly voted off."

The camera shows Chris. "Who will set sail next? Find out right now, right here, on TOTAL! DRAMA! ISLAND!"

* cue intro*

The remaining 39 castmates were standing in front of Chris, who was giving instructions. "Good morning, campers! Today, you will be paddling by canoe to the forests of Boney Island, portage your canoes through said forest, reach the other side of the island, and then you will build a rescue bonfire that I will judge. At that point, you will paddle back here."

"Wait, we gotta pour what?" asked Geoff.

"Portage," repeated Chris. All he got was a blank stare and a fly going in and out of the source of said stare. "Dude, walk with your canoe!"

"Oh."

"Now I must warn you about Boney Island. Legend has it if you take anything off the island, you'll be cursed foreverrrrrrr!" Chris said hauntingly. Everyone looked startled. "Well, what are you waiting for? Go!"

The camera showed the Storks. "Ooh Sadie, let's go with Justin!" said Katie.

"I was just about to say that!" And with that, the two squealed again, annoying their teammates and causing Justin to facepalm in misery.

"Yeah, that's fine!" said Heather. "I can go with Lindsay."

"I'll go with Lily," said Lana.

"I call Ed!" exclaimed May, glomping Ed.

"NOOOO!!" cried the tallest Ed. Kevin laughed.

"I'll go with Gwen!" volunteered Cody.

"No," Gwen said instantly. "I'd rather have one myself." Cody frowned.

"Having trouble getting the ladies, huh? Come with me, and we'll talk it out," Kevin told Cody.

Noah and DJ looked at each other, and the former said, "Looks like it's us two, big guy."

The camera showed the Gophers. "I'm going with Duncan," said Courtney. "Someone has to keep him in line!"

"You like him," said Geoff.

"I do not!"

"Then why were you hugging me, sweet princess?"

"Because you kept me from having to face my fear! I was just excited, that's all." She left to go to the canoes.

Duncan told Geoff, "She wants me." He left to go with Courtney.

"Let's go, Double D!" Marie said, dragging Edd with her, much to his chagrin.

"Wanna share a ride, sis?" Luna asked Lucy.

"Sure," she said in her usual monotonous voice.

"Wanna ride together, Rolf?" asked Owen.

"Rolf kindly accepts your offer, Owen boy."

Geoff looked around, still looking for a partner. "Geoff? Wanna be my partner?" asked Nazz.

"Huh? Oh yeah, sure!"

Trent looked at Izzy, Ezekiel, and Harold, then said, "I'll go with Ezekiel."

"Sure, eh!"

"Guess that leaves just us," Harold told Izzy.

"Ooh, fun! You know, I'm 1/87th Cherokee! The tribe could come take me in at any time!"

"Uhh, right..." Harold said uncomfortably as the two walked to the canoes.

The camera cut to the Bass.

"I wanna go with Lincoln!" said Lynn.

"No way, he is literally mine," said Lori.

"Wait, he's a mine?" asked Leni. Lori facepalmed.

"Sisters, sisters, why don't we do this? Pick a number from 1 to 10," said Lincoln.

"5," said Leni.

Lincoln froze. "That...was my number. OK, Leni's with me."

"Yaaay!" the second oldest Loud said.

"Wanna partner up?" Lynn asked Luan.

"Sure!"

"Seeing as we have an odd number of teammates, I would like to request to go alone," asked Lisa.

"Me and Jimmy are together!" said Sarah.

"I'll go with Eddy!" said Jonny.

Eddy shrugged. "Better than Lee, I guess. Glad we got rid of her," he said.

"Well I guess that leaves just us," Lori told Leshawna.

"I'm good with that."

The camera showed the teams and their canoes in the water. Chris held out a starters' pistol. "On your mark, get set, GO!" He fired the pistol, and a dead bird fell in front of him. "That's gonna provoke a lot of angry emails."

The camera showed

Elimination Table
Light blue WIN means they were on the winning team, with an italicized WIN meaning they were responsible for the team winning.

White IN means they were on the second place team.

Yellow SAFE means they were on the losing team, but survived.

Orange LOW means they were on the losing team, but barely survived by getting the final marshmallow.

Dark red OUT means they got eliminated.