User blog:Nalyd Renrut/Total Drama Jobs

Total Drama Jobs is a new story about fifteen of the original campers going around America to try new jobs! Written by Nalyd Renrut!

Staff

 * Chris McLean
 * Chef Hatchet
 * Recurring Intern

Contestants

 * Trent
 * LeShawna
 * Cody
 * Gwen
 * Ezekiel
 * Courtney
 * DJ
 * Heather
 * Noah
 * Eva
 * Duncan
 * Lindsay
 * Owen
 * Sadie
 * Harold

Take This Job and Love It
A broken down RV drove down a busy high way. Chris McLean sat in the driver’s seat, honking at other cars. “Get off the road, grandma!” he shouted. He turned to the passenger seat, where an intern sat. “Get out of the RV, and go yell at that idiot!”

“Yes, sir,” the intern said. The intern stepped out of the RV, which quickly drove away. “Why do I always fall for that?”

“We’ll get him later,” Chris said to himself. Chris looked at the camera on the dashboard. “We’ll edit that out. Okay. Let’s try this again. Hey! Chris McLean here! Six months ago, Duncan won Total Drama Action, and Beth went home, the biggest loser this side of British Columbia! Moving on-”

“Get off the road!” an elderly woman shouted at Chris from her car.

“You wanna go?” Chris shouted back.

“Bring it sonny!” the woman shouted.

Chris turned back to the camera on the dashboard. “Anyway, I’m picking up fifteen of your favorite past contestants! We learned that in these hard economic times, these kids will have an especially difficult time getting jobs.” Chris took an exit and traveled south.

Chris drove for an hour, stopping by once for food and another time to check his hair. “Here we are in Brockville, Ontario to pick up our first contestant!” Chris stopped the RV in front of a rather dull yellow house. Chris got out of the RV and opened the door. Trent opened the door.

“Chris?” Trent asked confused. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m picking you up for another exciting season of… Total! Drama!” Chris explained.

“Cool, let me just grab my stuff,” Trent said happily.

“Five minutes,” Chris said. “And I’m not making any pit-stops for the bathroom. Consider yourself warned.” Trent ran back to his house, and jumped into the RV, guitar and suitcase in hand, five minutes later. “Took you long enough.”

Chris and Trent traveled west in the RV. “So,” Trent said awkwardly. “See anything good on TV recently?”

“I tried watching Cartoon Network, but I didn’t see anything noteworthy,” Chris shrugged. “Don’t even get me started on the Fox Network.”

An hour later, Chris and Trent arrived in Ottawa, Ontario. They stopped in front of a one-story house, wish blue shudders that stood out against the white sides of the house. “Here we are in Ottawa,” Chris said, “to pick up everybody’s favorite home-girl, LeShawna!” He knocked on the door. LeShawna opened the door and looked shock.

“Oh Heck no!” she shouted then slammed the door on Chris.

“LeShawna, look at your contract,” Chris said. “We can pick you up for as many seasons as we want.”

“Whatever,” LeShawna said. She opened the door and glared at Chris.

“You’ve got five minutes to get your stuff, and then meet me and Trent in the RV,” Chris said. He returned to the RV. Trent waved to LeShawna.

LeShawna walked back into her house and muttered, “Great, little white boy who hurt Gwen.”

LeShawna went into the RV with two big suitcases. She put them in the back of the RV and sat down. “Sup LeShawna?” Trent asked.

“Not much,” LeShawna said dryly. She turned and looked out the window.

“You kids okay back there?” Chris called to them.

“Yeah, why?” LeShawna replied.

“We’re taking a little shortcut,” Chris explained. “Make sure to buckle-up.”

“I don’t see any seat belts, Chris,” Trent said worriedly.

Chris took a sharp turn right, veering off the street they were on, and into the woods. He pressed harder on the gas pedal. “Chris, you just hit a squirrel!” LeShawna screamed.

“We’re going to die!” Trent cried.

Just as quickly Chris had left it, Chris was back on the road. “See, I just cut ten minutes off our trip,” Chris said proudly. Trent threw up out the window.

An hour later, Chris parked his car in front of a large house with lots of windows. A woman was working on the garden in the front yard. Chris got out of the RV and said, “Now we’re in Montreal, Quebec to pick up Cody!”

“You’re here for Cody?” the woman asked. The stood up and took off her gardening gloves. “I’m his mother! You’re the man from that awful show aren’t you?”

“No, I’m from that show that’s slowly getting awful,” Chris joked. “Cody’s returning for this season!”

“No he is not!” the woman said. “I’m not letting my baby go on that show again! You better not ever come back! Ever!” Cody charged out of the front door carrying his suit case.

“Bye, mom, love you! Go! Go! Go!” he shouted. Cody jumped into the RV and Chris followed him.

“Brush your teeth!” Cody’s mom shouted. “Change your underwear! Stay away from bears! Don’t talk to strangers, or Chris! Especially not Chris!”

“Hey short-stuff,” LeShawna said as Cody took his seat.

“Sup, Cody?” Trent asked.

“You can play Mr. Nice guy all you want,” Cody said, glaring at Trent, “but Gwen doesn’t like you anymore. She will be mine.”

“Have fun with that,” Trent said, rolling his eyes.

“What up with yo mom, Cody?” LeShawna asked.

“She’s been overprotective of me since I got mauled by that bear,” Cody explained. “So where are we going Chris?”

“We’re going to Danville, Quebec,” Chris said. “We still have twelve kids to get.”

When the RV arrived at a dark grey colored house, Chris ran out and knocked on the door. Gwen opened the door. “What do you want?” she asked coldly.

“I want you to get in the RV! You’re going on a road trip Total Drama style!” Chris said. “Go pack your bags!”

“And if I refuse?” Gwen asked.

“Then we sue you for everything you own,” Chris smiled.

Gwen trudged onto the RV five minutes later carrying a big suitcase. “Gwen!” Cody shouted excitedly. He hugged her. “How I’ve missed you.”

“That’s great, Cody,” Gwen said sarcastically. She pushed Cody off of him.

“Hey, Gwen,” Trent smiled.

“Hi, Trent,” Gwen said happily.

“Sup, girl?” LeShawna said. LeShawna hugged Gwen. Gwen turned to sit next to LeShawna, but Cody pulled Gwen so she was sitting next to him.

“This is gonna be fun, Gwen,” Cody said. “Maybe we’ll be on the same team again.”

“One can always hope,” Gwen chuckled awkwardly.

Chris hung up his cell phone. “I called all the other contestants so they should be ready when we get to their houses.”

The RV drove through a small town in Northern Quebec. It stopped in front of a poorly built house. Ezekiel sat on the porch, picking his nose. “Yo, home-school! In here!” Chris shouted. Ezekiel wiped his finger on his hat, grabbed his suitcase, and got in the RV.

“I remember, you, eh!” Ezekiel said excitedly when he saw Trent. “And you, eh. And you, eh.” He looked at LeShawna. “I don’t remember you, eh.”

“Excuse me?” LeShawna said, sounding offended.

“I don’t remember you at all, eh. I guess you weren’t too interesting, eh.”

“Oh no he di’int!” LeShawna shouted. “Little-white-boy-first-one-voted-off did not just say that to me!”

“LeShawna, calm down,” Gwen said. “At least he isn’t sexist anymore.”

“Exactly, eh,” Ezekiel smiled.

About thirty minutes later, Chris stopped the RV in Brooks, Alberta. The house he stopped in front of was the biggest one yet, a three-story building painted white and looked like it had been made from marble. Courtney was standing on her front steps, holding a small suitcase. She got into the trailer. “Hello, Chris,” she said. “I think you made a great choice picking me for this season.”

“We knew if we didn’t you’d sue us,” Chris explained. “So we’re hoping that vote you off soon.”

“Hi Courtney, eh,” Ezekiel greeted her.

“Hi, home-school!” Courtney said, shaking his hand.

“I have a name, eh,” Ezekiel said.

“I know, I just don’t remember it,” Courtney said awkwardly.

“Ha!” LeShawna shouted at Ezekiel. “Nobody remembers you!”

“Courtney, are you okay?” Gwen asked.

“What do you mean?” Courtney asked, smiling widely.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you being pleasant,” Gwen said. “It’s a nice change of pace.”

“Thanks,” Courtney said.

Chris drove to St. Albert, Alberta, and stopped in front of an apartment building. DJ was standing outside, crying and hugging his mother. “Devon, there is the RV,” DJ’s mother said.

“I don’t wanna go,” DJ said sadly. “Nothing good comes from this!”

“Devon Joseph, you know you and I need that money,” DJ’s mother said. She handed him his suitcase. “Go win it for me, baby.” She kissed DJ on the cheek. He tearfully walked onto the bus and put his suitcase in the back. He sat down, hugged Courtney and continued crying.

“I miss her so much!” he cried.

“DJ, we haven’t moved yet,” Chris said.

DJ looked outside the window excitedly, but just saw other cars. “Yes we did! We’re on the highway!” he cried.

“I know, but you were just too vulnerable to be nice to,” Chris chuckled.

The RV drove along a busy highway to Duncan, British Colombia. “Are we going to pick up Duncan?” Gwen asked.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Courtney sneered.

“No, we’re getting somebody a little meaner than Duncan,” Chris smiled evilly.

“I didn’t know a person like that existed, eh,” Ezekiel said.

Chris parked in front of a car, similar in size to Courtney’s. Heather walked into the RV. “I thought you said the best contestants would be here,” Heather said to Chris. “You have the pathetic loser, big-loud-and-proud, pipsqueak, weird goth girl, home-school, preppy, and the cry baby!”

“We could have had losers like Noah and Eva,” Chris shrugged.

“True,” Heather said.

Chris drove to the other side of the town, and picked up Noah. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Noah said as he got into the RV. All he’d brought with him was a book. “You picked the pathetic loser, big-loud- an-”

“Already did that,” Heather rolled her eyes.

“Yo Heather, I thought we were tight,” LeShawna said.

“Totally, LeShawna,” Heather replied, “just trying to keep up appearances.”

“Whatever,” LeShawna rolled her eyes.

Chris continued driving. “We’ve arrived in Thompson, Manitoba,” Chris said to the dashboard camera. “Picking up a more unique contestant.” Chris drove to a simplistic, one story house. Eva stood outside, with a duffle bag by her side. She picked it up and got in the RV. She threw her bag, as Chris continued going.

“You’re in my spot,” she said to Courtney.

“I don’t really think any of us have spots,” Courtney said. Eva picked Courtney up, and threw her on top of everyone’s luggage. “Note to self, don’t mess with Eva.”

Chris parked the RV in front of a big, red, Thorold, Ontario house. Duncan sat outside, and went into the RV without anything with him. He smiled at Courtney, “Sup, babe?”

“Don’t talk to me,” Courtney said angrily.

“What’s wrong?” Duncan asked.

“Like you care,” Courtney glared at him.

“You’re right, I don’t,” Duncan shrugged. He sat next to Gwen. “You in a better mood?”

“Another season of this show,” Gwen said. “So what do you think?”

“I’ll take that as a no,” Duncan said.

The house drove for about a mile, and stopped in front of an average size house, with a pool all around it. “EEE!”

“Oh no,” Heather grimaced. “She’s back!”

Lindsay ran onto the bus, no suitcases with her. A man followed her, carrying ten large pink suitcases. “Hey, Charlie!” Lindsay said, hugging Chris.

“Just get in the back seat,” Chris said coldly.

“Hey everyone!” Lindsay said excitedly. “Hey Tim, LeShaniquasnaqui, Carl, Gretchen, Ezekimo, Crazy, Donna Joe, Hector, Norbert, Evil, and Dilbert!”

“Just sit down, Lindsay,” Heather rolled her eyes.

Chris drove the RV to an apartment building in Toronto, Ontario. Outside stood Owen and Sadie. “Hey guys!” Owen shouted as he jumped into the RV.

“Oh my gosh, hi guys!” Sadie squealed.

“Oscar and Sammy are brother and sister?” Lindsay asked herself.

“No, Linds, it just turns out we live in the same apartment building,” Owen said excitedly. “I had to move here after my family got the cheese cellar.”

“I thought you paid that off,” Duncan said.

“Nope,” Owen said. “So I’m back, baby!”

“Oh my gosh,” Sadie said. “Chris, you promised Katie would be here!”

“Don’t worry, we have one more stop!” Chris said.

“EEE!” Sadie squealed.

The RV drove to the opposite end of town, and a tall figure entered the bus. “Hey guys!” the person said.

“Harold?” Sadie said, displeased. “Where’s Katie?”

“I don’t know,” Harold answered.

“We decided she wasn’t cool enough,” Chris said. He started driving.

Harold sat next to Owen, who leaned on Harold and fell asleep. “Gosh,” Harold muttered.

Chris’ phone rang. He spoke to the man at the other end, sounding scared. Chris hung up. “Bad news, kids,” Chris said. “We can’t film this season in Canada.”

“Why not, eh?” Ezekiel asked.

“The theme of the season is trying different jobs, and nowhere in Canada will let us use their business,” Chris explained. “So we’re going to the good ol’ U.S. of A.!” The contestants mumbled angrily. “Join us next week, for another dramatic episode of… Total! Drama! Jobs!”