This story is rated PG-13.
There is some language or violence that may not be appropriate for people under thirteen years of age.

When Chris McLean suddenly disappears, Michael is taken away by a team of spies for information. Curious about the disappearance, Michael requests to investigate too and is teamed up with Agent Lilacs. The two go on an adventure to find Chris McLean, while being trailed by a jealous Maria.



Michael sat in his living room with Mounzer. It was incredibly hot outside, so the two stayed inside, looking for something to do.

“Okay. Now I need a noun.” Michael said.

“Breakfast.” Mounzer said.

Michael wrote down the word into his pad filled with Mad Libs.

“Okay. It’s done.” Michael read, “Chris woke up early on his first day of school. The night before, he got his bed ready, and laid out his clothes. When he woke up, he brushed his teeth, put on his red shirt, tucked it into his new pants, and laced up his shiny new shoes. He went to the kitchen to eat a healthy breakfast.”

Michael and Mounzer look puzzled.

“That wasn’t funny at all.” Michael said.

“You’re right.” Mounzer said. “I probably should have used stranger words.”

“Whatever.” Michael said. “Mad Libs is lame.”

He tossed the pad of Mad Libs into the trash.

Mounzer got up and sighed. “I’m gonna go.”

“What?!” Michael said. “You can’t leave me here. I have nothing to do.”

Mounzer shrugged. “I have to go get medicine for a friend anyway.”

“And by friend, I assume you mean your mom.” Michael said.

Mounzer glared at Michael. “So?”

He left the house. Michael grabbed the remote and turned it on to Jersey Shore.

“Snooki!” he yelled. “Get off of my TV!”

Suddenly, the wall exploded, destroying the TV. Michael covered his head with his arms. Two people fell through the broken wall, fighting each other. One was a scruffy-looking man, who looked about 30 years old, and wearing a black outfit. The other person was a brown-haired girl, wearing a gray shirt and large black boots. She looked a little older than Michael.

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The two fought on the ground. The man pushed the girl off of him and pointed a gun at her, ready to shoot.

“Holy crap!” Michael yelled.

He tackled the guy and he misfired, hitting a window instead.

Michael and the man struggled for a little while, but Michael eventually grabbed the gun and aimed it at the guy.

The girl got up and Michael turned the gun on her.

“No, I’m on your side.” the girl said.

“Are you kidding?” Michael asked. “I don’t even know what’s going on.”

The man tripped Michael with his legs and Michael dropped the gun. The girl took out her own gun and pointed it at the man.

“Get up.” the girl instructed Michael.

Unable to comprehend what was going on, Michael followed the girl’s instructions. The two backed out of the house. The girl still had the gun pointed at the man.

The two ran from the house. Suddenly, a black van drove past them at high speed.

“Stay out of danger.” the girl said.

She ran to her car. Michael ran after her.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m coming with you.” Michael said. “I want to know what’s going on. Plus, I should probably get your insurance information, so that I can rebuild my house.”

She ignored him, and got in her car. Michael hopped in too.

“You can’t come with me.” she said. “You could die.”

“I’ve been in many situations where I could have died.” Michael said.

“Get out!” the girl demanded.

“Oh no!” Michael said mockingly. “They’re getting away!”

The girl groaned and floored the engine. The car sped up and chased after the black van. There were two men in the van, wearing the same clothes the other dude had. One of them was driving. The other stuck his head out the window with a machine gun and began firing at Michael’s car. The girl swerved the car out of the way of the bullets.

The girl quickly handed Michael a pistol.

“Shoot their tires out.” The girl instructed.

“Gladly.” Michael said.

He stuck his head out the window. He lined up the shot, but the car suddenly jerked and went off-road, making Michael miss the shot.

“Hold on.” the girl said.

The car sped through dirt and gravel and eventually hit a jump. The car soared through the air and landed back on the road, just in time to see the black van pass them. The car regained control and chased after them.

The man fired the machine gun at their car. Eventually, a bullet broke the windshield. The two ducked.

“Can you get a shot in?” the girl asked, irritated.

“Maybe if your driving was a little better.” Michael said defensively.

The two looked up to see that the guy had opened up the back of the van. He was now pointing a rocket launcher at them.

“Is that a rocket launcher?” Michael asked.

“Yep…” the girl said.

The man fired the rocket launcher. The girl attempted to swerve out of the way, but the explosion still impacted the car and the car flipped over multiple times. During a flip, Michael took a one-in-a-million shot, hitting the van in the tire.

The van began to scrape against the road before tumbling off of a nearby cliff. The van impacted the bottom and exploded.

Meanwhile, Michael’s car continued to flip over, but eventually stopped upside-down. Michael pressed his feet against the car door and kicked the door off of the car. He climbed out.

He walked over to the driver’s seat and ripped out the door.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

The girl coughed a little. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Michael helped her out of the car.

“Can you tell me what’s going on now?” he asked.

“It’s classified.” the girl said. “Now go home. You’re safe now.”

She walked off toward the crash and Michael followed her.

“Come on.” Michael said. “I saved your ass twice. You need my help.”

“You know nothing about me.” the girl said. “I don’t need any help.”

“Can I at least know your name?” Michael asked.

“That’s classified.” the girl said.

“You’re kidding, right?” Michael said.

The two reached the destroyed van. The girl dragged out the dead body of the driver. She searched his pockets and pulled out a flash drive.

“Here we go.” she said. “This could help.”

“Help what?” Michael asked.

“Can you just leave already?” the girl asked.

“No.” Michael finally said. “You dragged me into this. I deserve to know what’s going on.”

The girl sighed. “Fine. Understand this, though. You can never tell anybody about this information. It’s classified.”

“Whatever.” Michael said.

“My code name is Agent Lilacs.” the girl finally admitted. “I’m a secret agent for the Covert Operations Agency. I’ve been investigating the disappearance of Chris McLean.”

Michael’s eyes widened. “Chris is gone?”

“He was kidnapped.” Lilacs said. “We don’t know who did it, so I was assigned to investigate before announcing it to the public. Chris didn’t have many… ugh… contacts.”

“You mean friends?” Michael asked.

“Yeah.” Lilacs said reluctantly. “I started following his old contestants for Total Drama to see if they had any information about it, but I found nothing. I guess the kidnappers caught up to me while I was following you.”

“So… what do we do now?” Michael asked.

You can go back home.” Lilacs said. “I’m going to deliver this information to the Major.”

“Come on!” Michael whined. “I can help you!”

“I told you that I don’t need help.” Lilacs said as she started to walk away.

“I’ll tell everyone about your secret organization.” Michael said.

“Then we’ll track down and arrest you.” Lilacs said.

“Everyone will still know.” Michael said.

Lilacs stopped and groaned.

“Fine.” Lilacs said. “We’ll ask the Major if you can come. But only as a contact.”

“Sweet!” Michael yelled.

Meanwhile, Mounzer stood inside Michael’s house. Maria walked in and noticed the wall missing.

“What the heck happened?” Maria asked.

“I don’t know.” Mounzer said. “I asked Michael where he was and he said he couldn’t tell me. Seems suspicious.”

“Yeah.” Maria said. “That is suspicious. What could he be hiding?”

The two thought for a moment.

“You don’t think he’s cheating on me, do you?” Maria asked.

“No.” Mounzer said. “Michael wouldn’t do that.”

“Yes, he would.” Maria said.

Mounzer nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, he probably would. What would that have to do with the broken wall though?”

“I don’t know.” Maria said. “I have to go find him.”

She walked off.

Meanwhile, Michael and Agent Lilacs walked up to a telephone booth.

“What are we doing in here?” Michael asked.

“You’ll see.” Lilacs said.

She dialed a number and the floor vanished, causing the two to fall. They landed. Michael looked around and noticed where he was. An underground control center, filled with agents and machinery, with a huge holographic projector in the middle of the room.

“Whoa.” Michael said. “How come no one has noticed this before?”

Lilacs laughed. “No one uses phone booths anymore.”

“So true.” Michael said.

The two walked to the center of the room where the holographic projector was. On the wall, there was a giant screen.

“Patch me through to the Major.” Lilacs instructed to no one in particular.

“Patching.” one of the other agents said after pushing a few buttons.

A face appeared on the screen. It was a 50-something year old man who had very defining features.

“Major Gideon Crawle,” Lilacs said. “we have vital information on the disappearance of Chris McLean.”

The old man barely heard the comment, focusing his attention on Michael.

“Who is this?” Major Gideon asked. “Is he authorized?”

“Yes, sir.” Lilacs said. “By me…”

“For what reason?” Major Gideon asked.

“He’s a contact.” Lilacs said. “He knows Chris McLean. With your permission, he’ll be assisting me on the mission.”

Major Gideon inspected Michael.

“Permission granted.” Major Gideon said. “Now let’s see the information.”

Lilacs took out the flash drive and plugged it into the holographic projector. A holographic image of different documents appeared. Lilacs used her hands and spread the holograms out, so she could read the virtual documents.

“They’re articles about Chris.” Lilacs said.

She used her hands to get rid of the other documents and enlarge one in particular.

“It says here that Chris McLean had an advertising deal with Star Rise Insurance Company.” Michael read. “Apparently, the deal fell through recently.”

“Look up any information on Star Rise Insurance Company.” Major Gideon instructed.

Suddenly, the holographic information changed and different data on the insurance company popped up. In the middle was a holographic image of a man.

“That’s Francesco Spinozzi.” Lilacs said. “He is an infamous mafia boss. He must own a share of Star Rise.”

“Do you think he kidnapped McLean so that he would lead marketing?” Michael asked.

“Most likely.” Lilacs said. “Francesco is notorious for crimes like that. He’s had run-ins with a competing mafia leader, Antonio “Red Eye” de Paulo. I wouldn’t doubt that he would kidnap Chris.”

“Where can we find him?” Michael asked.

Lilacs used her hands to erase all the holograms, and pulled up one more article.

“This says that there’s going to be a share brokers’ party for Star Rise tomorrow at this address.” Lilacs said.

“Cool.” Michael said. “So we’ll bust in and shoot up Francesco.”

Lilacs rolled her eyes. “We can’t just go in and shoot up the place. We’ll be in disguise.”

“Boring.” Michael said.

“Thanks for the briefing, Agent Lilacs.” Major Gideon said. “And you, you need a codename. What will it be?”

Michael thought a moment before stating proudly, “Agent Radical.”

“That’s a stupid name.” Lilacs said.

The next day, Maria was typing away on her computer while Mounzer bounced a tennis ball against a wall.

“A ha!” Maria said. “I found him!”

“Really?” Mounzer asked, surprised.

“He was just added to the guest list for some share brokers’s party.” Maria’s eyes widened and she yelled, “And so was some other girl!”

“Probably a coincidence.” Mounzer said.

“Who are you kidding?” Maria asked. “He’s going to the party with that girl.”

Mounzer chuckled. “Yeah…”

“I’m going to crash that party and win back Michael.” Maria said. She looked at the computer, memorized the address, and prepared to leave. “You in?”

“Can’t.” Mounzer responded. “I’m throwing a party with my friends.”

“You mean your mom?” Maria asked.

“It’s her birthday!” Mounzer yelled. “Gosh!”

Maria shrugged and left.

Later that night, Michael walked up to a huge mansion in a flashy tuxedo. Agent Lilacs was wearing a long, elegant, black dress. They blended in perfectly with the attendees of the party.

“I look so good.” Michael said to himself.

“Why did I bring you along again?” Lilacs asked.

“Face it.” Michael said. “You just wanted to see me in this tuxedo.”

Lilacs rolled her eyes as the two reached the bouncer. He checked the list and sent them in.

“Nice job getting us on the list.” Michael remarked.

“Easy stuff.” Lilacs said. “You know the plan?”

“Definitely.” Michael said.

Music began to play. Michael extended his hand to Lilacs.

“Care to dance?”

Meanwhile, Maria walked up to the bouncer in a long red dress. The bouncer checked his list.

“Sorry.” he said. “You don’t match.”

“Aw. That’s too bad.” Maria said.

She turned to leave and purposely dropped a dollar bill.

“Oops.” Maria said. “What a clumsy mistake.”

The bouncer picked up the dollar bill.

“This is fake money for prizes at Ron E. Rat’s.” the bouncer said.

Maria sighed. “Could you please just let me in? My boyfriend’s in there with some other girl.”

“Why didn’t you just say so?” the bouncer said. “We’ve all been there. My girl left me for a circus clown.” He began to sob. “A circus clown. I should have gone to clown camp like daddy said!!”

He collapsed to the ground and started weeping. Maria looked worried, but climbed over him and went inside.

Michael and Lilacs were still dancing while they secretly searched the room for Francesco.

Maria walked in and noticed this. She marched up to the two of them and broke them apart.

“Maria?!” Michael said surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“What are ‘’you’’ doing here?” Maria asked. “Are you cheating on me?”

“No!” Michael yelled. “No, no, no, no, no, no.”

“Then what are you doing here?” Maria asked.

Michael turned to Lilacs and then back to Maria.

“I can’t tell you.” Michael said.

“How can I trust you if you won’t tell me?” Maria asked.

Michael was speechless. Maria scoffed and left the mansion. Michael began to run after her, but Lilacs grabbed his arm.

“We’re on a mission.” Lilacs reminded him.

At that moment, Michael looked across the room and noticed a familiar face.

“There.” Michael said, pointing. “It’s Francesco.”

“Go confront him.” Lilacs said. “I’ll watch your back.”

Michael walked up to Francesco.

“Nice party, huh?” Michael said.

“Yeah.” Francesco spoke in a tough Italian accent. “I don’t recognize ya from the meetins’.”

“I’m new…” Michael said.

“Ah.” Francesco said. “Fresh bait."

Michael looked worried and turned to Lilacs. When he turned, he noticed another familiar face. Seeing this face was a little more shocking, however. Lilacs noticed this and turned to see the same face.

Both looked in awe as Chris McLean walked into the room.

Trying to keep up the conversation, Michael said, “Is that… Chris McLean?”

“I guess so.” Francesco said. “That guy’s everyway nowadays, am I right?”

“What do you know about him?” Michael asked, still questioning how Chris could be here.

“Not much.” Francesco said. “I don’t keep up with all these celebrities. I just handle my business, ya know?”

Michael nodded, not knowing where to continue the conversation.

“Do you have anything to do with his disappearance?” Michael asked sternly.

“Disappearance?” Francesco asked confused. “What are ya talkin’ about? He’s standing right there.”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Francesco.” Michael said. “I know you’re in the Mafia.”

Francesco quickly pulled out his gun and fired it at the ceiling. Everyone ducked and Francesco started to run out of the mansion.

Michael quickly got up. “Stop him!”

Lilacs ran up to him and pulled out a gun on him. Francesco grabbed the gun and flipped her over. He was still holding her gun and pointed it at her.

Michael ran up to help, but Francesco took his other gun and pointed it at him.

Lilacs used her legs to trip him and got back up. Francesco kicked her and got back up. The two fought with their fists. Francesco kicked Lilacs in the leg, causing her to crouch. He roundhouse kicked her and she flew across the room, but she did a cartwheel and stood back up. He took his two guns and fired at her. She slid beneath the bullets and kicked his stomach. She grabbed her gun, elbowed him and flipped him over. She pointed her gun at the chandelier and shot. The chandelier swung back and forth. Then the chain broke and it came crashing down on top of Francesco.

Michael looked around and noticed that Chris McLean was gone.

Later, Michael and Lilacs stood in the driveway. People were starting to leave the property.

“Is everyone gone?” Michael asked Lilacs.

“Yeah.” Lilacs confirmed. “Let’s go back inside.”

The two walked into the mansion. The chandelier was still crashed against the ground, but Francesco’s body was no longer under it. A few other secret agents had dragged his near-lifeless body from under the chandelier and handcuffed him to a chair. They noticed Lilacs and left quickly, leaving the three alone.

Lilacs punched Francesco across the face, drawing even more blood.

“Where’s Chris McLean?” Lilacs asked.

“Fuck you.” Francesco responded, barely breathing.

Michael punched Francesco this time. “Paper or plastic?” he asked.

Francesco looked confused. “Plastic.”

Michael punched Francesco again.

“That’s bad for the environment!” Michael sneered.

Lilacs rolled her eyes. “Could you focus?”

“Sorry.” Michael said. “It’s too fun.”

Lilacs turned back to Francesco. “I’ll ask ‘’one’’ more time.”

“I said plastic!” Francesco said, nearly out of breath.

“No!” Lilacs shouted. “Where’s Chris McLean?”

“I have no idea… whatcha talking about.” Francesco said.

Lilacs pointed a gun to his head. “Do you know now?”

Francesco struggled. “Don’t shoot me! I don’t know nothing, I swear!”

Michael suddenly noticed something in the corner of the room. He walked up to it and picked it up. It was a piece of paper. He flattened it out and read it.

“Appointment: 2:30 at Jared’s Dry Cleaning Services, 55 Adonis Drive.” Michael read.

At the bottom, was Chris McLean’s imprinted signature, proving that it was from the desk of Chris McLean.

Lilacs looked at her watch. “It’s 2:20 and that’s only a few miles away. Let’s go.”

Michael nodded and two quickly ran out of the mansion. Lilacs gestured toward the other agents outside and sent them inside. “Take Francesco into custody.” she instructed.

Later, the two drove up to the Dry Cleaner’s and walked out. Michael pulled on the doors, but they wouldn’t open.

“It’s locked.” Michael said.

Lilacs elbowed the glass doors and the glass shattered. She crawled through the opening in the door.

“Now I have to watch where I step.” Michael complained.

He carefully stepped over the glass and followed after Lilacs. She had her gun raised and Michael assumed he should do the same.

The two reached a door in the back. Lilacs nodded and Michael nodded back. Lilacs kicked down the door and the two pointed their guns into the room. There were six men in there. Four of them stood and raised their guns at the two of them. They looked like typical goons. There were two other men, sitting at the table. One was Chris McLean and Michael didn’t know the other.

“Well, it appears you’ve found us.” the man said, slowly standing up.

“What’s going on?” Michael asked. “Who are you?”

The man slowly turned his head toward Michael. As the man did this, Michael noticed one key feature to this man. One of his eyes was red. And suddenly, Michael realized who it was, even though he had never seen him before in his life.

“Antonio “Red Eye” de Paulo.” Michael said, shocked.

“Smart for some guy picked off of the streets.” Red Eye said, with a devilish smile on his face.

“I don’t understand.” Michael said. “What motive did you have?”

“Francesco and his boys have been messing with me for too long.” Red Eye said. “I set up a deal with our friend Chris to have him stay with us for a while. The men we sent after Agent Lilacs were given evidence that would trace her back to Francesco and his gang. They were meant to die. Lilacs fell for it and you two would’ve kidnapped Francesco, ending my problems. But if it weren’t for you, you wouldn’t have found out my plan. No matter. If you two die, I guess no one will know any better.”

He pulled out a pistol and cocked it.

“Wait.” Michael said. “Chris, you got kidnapped… on purpose?”

“Yeah.” Chris said. “They promised me enough money to fund my new reality show.”

He waved his hand through the air as if he were painting them on to their minds.

“Inside the Life of Chris McLean.” he said magically. “A reality show that explores the laughs, drama, and pressure of being one of the world’s most beloved TV show hosts, Chris McLean.”

Michael rolled his eyes.

“It was an offer he couldn’t refuse.” Red Eye said evilly.

Michael tried to form a game plan in his mind. Some way to get out of this. But it was no use. He couldn’t think of a solution.

Suddenly, Lilacs pulled something out of her pocket. She threw it on the ground and the place filled with smoke. The two were invisible to the rest. Lilacs jumped onto the table, flipped off of it, and landed on top of one of the goons, smashing him to the ground. One of the goons headed toward the sound, but Lilacs grabbed him by the chest and shot him straight through. She grabbed his gun and swung around, shooting both guns simultaneously to shoot the two remaining goons in the head. She did a cartwheel and landed right behind Red Eye, pointing both guns against his back.

Michael was standing in the same spot he was before, contemplating what had just happened.

Red Eye kept his gun pointed at Michael. “I’d step back before I shoot your friend.”

“Go ahead, do it.” Lilacs said.

Michael looked shocked. “WHAT?!”

Red Eye looked nervous, but he angrily twisted around and knocked Lilacs down, breaking the table. He grabbed a vase and smashed it against her face, causing her to bleed. He hit her with the end of his gun until she could barely breathe. He then pointed his gun at her.

“Nice try.” he said between his teeth.

Suddenly, Michael jumped up and grabbed the door hinge. He pushed Red Eye with his feet and then let go, falling back to the ground. Red Eye stumbled and fell to the ground. He quickly got up and Michael kicked him in the stomach, causing him to stumble a little bit. Michael swept his foot under Red Eye and knocked him to the ground again. He began to step on Red Eye’s chest with his foot, breaking his ribcage. Red Eye grabbed Michael’s foot and pushed him backwards. Red Eye stumbled up and shot his pistol at Michael, hitting him in the hip.

Michael noticed the wound and fell to the ground, nearly unconscious. His sight became woozy and he could barely breathe, as he started to lose blood. Red Eye, stumbled over to Michael, holding his bruised ribcage. Red Eye cocked his pistol and aimed it at Michael’s head. In helplessness, Michael looked over to Lilacs for help, but she was still unconscious.

“Goodbye, Agent Radical.” Red Eye said maniacally.

The shot went off. Michael closed his eyes. He was surprised to see that when he opened them, he was still alive. It wasn’t Red Eye’s gun that had gun off. Red Eye’s red eye nearly rolled into the back of his head and he fell to the ground, dead. Michael noticed the gunshot in Red Eye’s back. He looked up and saw none other than Major Gideon, putting his pistol away.

“Major Gideon?” Michael asked wearily. “How’d you know where we were?”

“Lilac has a tracking device that goes off when she’s in trouble.” Major Gideon said. “It would appear that I arrived just in time.”

The Major helped Michael off the ground and gave him something to cover his wound, for the time being. The two helped Lilacs to the car. A few other agents ran in and grabbed Chris McLean.

After being laid down, Lilacs regained some consciousness.

“Are you okay?” Michael asked.

“Yeah…” Lilacs said. “You… saved me…”

“Right after you betrayed me.” Michael said angrily.

Lilacs chuckled. “I’m sorry. That’s just the business. It’s rough. I knew he wasn’t going to shoot you. I know these mobsters like the back of my hand.”

“Really?” Michael asked.

“Yeah.” Lilacs said, smiling. “If anything,” she sighed. “You were a pretty good partner.”

“Sweet.” Michael said.

“We’ll be sure to call you back if we need anything.” Lilacs said. “We’ll call it an internship.”

Michael smiled.

“I owe you one.” Lilacs said. “I have an idea of how I can pay you back.”

A couple of days later, Michael sat in his house with Maria and Lilacs.

“So… you were a secret agent and that’s why you couldn’t tell me?” Maria asked.

Michael nodded.

Maria appeared sympathetic. “I’m sorry. I should have trusted you.”

“No, it’s okay.” Michael said. “My track record hasn’t been that great.”

He turned to Lilacs. “Thanks for doing this.”

“No problem.” Lilacs said. “Just don’t tell anyone.”

The two nodded.

Suddenly, the wind picked up and a helicopter appeared outside Michael’s house. It dropped down a ladder.

“That’s my ride.” Lilacs said.

She walked toward and grabbed onto the ladder.

“Thanks for being such a good friend.” Lilacs said sincerely.

The helicopter flew away, taking away Agent Lilacs. Michael waved goodbye.

“Are you feeling a draft?” Michael asked Maria.

He remembered the giant gaping hole in the side of his house and sighed. “Oh yeah. I should probably get that fixed.”

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