Artisanal Cheeses


Gender Male
Hair color Red
Episode Eliminated "Shack It Up!"
Place 12th
Relationship None
Family Parents
Friends Roald, Rhett, Suvir
Enemies Artemis, Kaitlin
Fear Rejection, women, Chads
Talent Trolling, making subpar memes, avoiding sunlight
Boris, labeled The Basement Dweller, is a contestant on Total Drama Lakeside. He was placed on the Artisanal Cheeses team. 


Boris is in his early 20s and lives in his parents' basement. After he finished high school, he took some courses at a community college, but gave up to cultivate a career as a full-time Internet user. Over the years, he has grown a wispy beard on his neck and become a fedora enthusiast; he now owns ten different colored fedoras. He has a part-time job at a comic book shop, which is the only time he ever leaves the house, and he spends most of his time there playing Luncheons & Laggins with people 10-15 years younger than him and getting extremely angry when he loses. Boris doesn't have much experience with dating: he frequents dating sites and masquerades as European male swimsuit models using stock photos, but all of his catfishing attempts have failed. He blames the lack of girls interested in him on the fact that he's a "nice guy" and that girls only date "Chads." He once attempted to go to the gym to try and become a "Chad," but suffered an asthma attack the second he started bench-pressing, so he went back to his sedentary lifestyle. Other hobbies of Boris's include watching anime (mostly hentai), looking for "waifus" on MMORPGs, eating Doritos, drinking chocolate milk, and not bathing.

Boris signed up for Total Drama so he could get out of his basement and meet "females."

Total Drama Lakeside

Audition Tape

Boris is sitting on a beanbag chair in his basement. Behind him is a horrifying scene. The walls are covered top-to-bottom with pictures of scantily clad, grinning anime girls, and a large bookshelf sits in one corner, stuffed with multiple series of manga and more anime girl figures decorating the top. His "bed," a mattress in the other corner of the room, has one single slice of pizza resting on its pillow, while numerous empty party-size bags of Doritos and empty gallons of chocolate milk are strewn about the sides of the mattress. The entire floor is decorated with an elaborate card game setup that seems to be collecting dust.

"Salutations," he says. "I am Boris. See, I do not believe a children's show as silly as 'Total Drama' has ever included a man as worldly and sharp-witted as I. I would certainly bring a sort of mature charm to your subpar programming, especially if I choose to utilize my immense knowledge of all things anime, manga, and Luncheons & Laggins, and potentially even spread the wealth to the other, far less sophisticated contestants. However, my first priority in auditioning for your show is to find a female to accompany me in life. I know I have not been met with much success in the realm of 'dating,' likely because females do not appreciate nice guys as much as they do Chads, but I will challenge that! Nobody will be able to resist my mature, masculine charm, and if any Chads step in my way⁠—I shall vanquish them!"


  • The character of Boris was first used in Survivor: India, my canceled Survivor story, and then Mt. Total Drama, the first draft of this story.
  • Boris's picture, minus the fedora, was originally based on the appearance of a forum user Mana showed me, who looked like an extremely stereotypical neckbeard. Mana also came up with his name way back in 2012, so thanks Mana!
  • Boris's current picture is modeled after a character, also named Boris, created for a series of comic strips I drew for the school newspaper when I was in high school.
    • In addition to that character, Boris's personality was modeled after Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons, Francis from Super Paper Mario, and Ignatius J. Reilly from A Confederacy of Dunces.
  • Initial drafts of the story contained a female "SJW"-type character who Boris would've spent the competition arguing with. I scrapped that character for being a lot more stereotypical and mean-spirited of a parody, and I figured Boris would be funnier and more interesting if he interacted with less cliche characters.
  • While Boris was always planned to be a pre-merge boot, I tried to make him come across as a potential endgamer to make his elimination more shocking. This seemed to work, as Epic and Rhonda both predicted he'd make it to the end.
  • I didn't want to make Boris a one-dimensional punching bag, since I figured a neckbeard caricature played straight was a bit too lazy. The gym plot with Roald, intended to humanize Boris, was naturally thought of early on.
  • Boris's boot, complete with the Wildcats voting him out due to his physical prowess, was originally planned for the fourth chapter. I figured this was far too short of a time to develop the gym plot, though, and ended up liking writing for him so much that I needed to keep him in longer.


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