| There is some language or violence that may not be appropriate for people under thirteen years of age. |
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S.S. Total Drama takes place several seasons after Revenge of the Island. Chris is till the host, and the long-running show has a new installment, where twenty contestants will face challenges in a cruise ship, competing for one million dollars.
Written by Mana
Contestants[]
Anamaria - The Crazy Subway Lady
Antonio - The Unintentional Eye Candy
Carlos - The Media Hog
Cillian - The Troublemaker
Cleo - The Comic Book Store Clerk
Dominic - The Uber Nerd
Foreman - The Intimidating Guy
Halle - The Egotist
Inna - The Exercise Enthusiast
Lana - The Self-Loather
Lance - The Untamed
Lizzie - The Loud One
Louie - The Bullied Guy
Mallory - The Pretty Girl
Mathew - The Bad Boy
Meredith - The Goofball
Patricia - The Reality TV Fanatic
Ryan - The Bleeding Heart
Terry - The Amateur Writer
Xavier - The Box Worshipper
Images[]
Chapters[]
Chapter 1 - Docks of Fame[]
Chris is just like he is in every beginning of a new season, standing near the setting where the adventure will take place. This time, Chris McLean is standing in a pier, where a luxurious ship is docked. The host, who is is smiling brightly as always, says to the camera, "Remember me? Chris McLean? Well, if you don't, I suggest you turn off the TV now!" He thinks for a second and yells, "No, no, no, no! Stay there, I will introduce myself to you," Chris clears his throat, "I am Chris McLean, and I am famous for hosting eight seasons of Total Drama. I am also the star of the acclaimed Badminton: The Movie," he smiles confidently, "I'm sure you know me now. I mean, who hasn't watched Badminton: The Movie?" Someone coughing is heard off-camera, "Anyway, we are here for a new season of Total Drama, where twenty contestants will compete for the million dollar prize in Total Drama's exclusive cruise ship. The contestants will arrive at the docks by hired cars, and will soon embark in our cruise ship. Of course, they will introduce themselves first," a car is seen arriving.
"Here is our first contestant, and it is Cleo!" announces Chris.
The car stops, and an Asian young man with long black hair and glasses steps out of it, "Hello Chris," he says, smiling.
"Wait a minute," says Chris, looking at the man, "I have this feeling you are not Cleo."
The long-haired man shakes his head, "No, I'm Ryan, nice to meet you," he says before shaking Chris' hands, "Want some help with the cue cards?" he asks.
"No, I'm perfectly fine!" says Chris, "And here comes Carlos!" he announces while pointing to a pretty blonde who getting out of a car. She wears a yellow jacket over a pink shirt, and jeans.
Ryan takes the cue cards from Chris' hands and puts them in another order, "Here it is," He gives the cue cards back to Chris, with a smile on his face.
The recently arrived girl gets near them and says, "I'm most definitely not Carlos."
Chris reads the now properly arranged cue cards and says, "Of course you aren't. You are Mallory, right?"
The girl smiles and nods.
Ryan says in the confessional, "I've just arrived and already helped Chris. I hope he is thankful for that and will not try to kill me in his challenges."
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "Carlos? Really, Chris?"
Another car arrives, and a tall young man with some piercings and a faux-hawk steps out of it.
"Here we have Mathew!" announces Chris, "Hopefully it's him," he adds.
Mathew walks to Chris, shakes his hand, and joins the other competitors. Once there he spits on the ground, causing Ryan to slowly step away from him.
Another car arrives and a girl with brown hair, wearing a blue jacket and a pink bandana around her head steps out.
"Welcome to Total Drama, Meredith!" says Chris, while Meredith stares at the car that brought her leaving the spot.
Meredith looks at Chris, blinks once and says, "Sorry, were you talking to me?"
"Umm, yeah," says Chris, "I said welcome to Total Drama, Meredith!"
Meredith smiles and says, "Ooh, why didn't you say before? My name is Meredith, nice to meet you. Your name is..." she waits for an answer.
Chris looks angry, "I already know your name, and how don't you know my name?"
Meredith smiles as she realizes something, "Oh, right, you are the host. Jeff, right?" Chris stares at her, and she quickly corrects herself, "Chris! Chris McLean!" Meredith says as she smiles wide, proud of herself.
"Thank you, now you can join your fellow competitors over there," Chris says, pointing to where the other contestants are
Meredith joins the other contestants and says to Mathew, "Can you believe I almost forgot Phil's name?" Mathew laughs at Meredith but she just stares at him clueless.
A short boy with platinum blond hair and bright blue eyes steps out of a newly arrived car.
"Cillian!" says Chris.
"Sup?" asks the boy.
"I'm hosting a show called S.S. Total Drama," says Chris, "Ever heard of it?"
Cillian laughs at Chris' not so funny joke and says, "Good one," he joins the others.
The next car arrives, dropping a skinny and pale girl wearing a mostly black outfit. Her pitch black hair covers some of her face. She slouches past Chris and says lifelessly,
"Hi everyone, I'm Lana."
Chris answers with a shudder.
Lana is shown on the confessional, "That wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be... I think I did well."
The next car arrives. A young man with black spiky hair, wearing a plaid partially unbuttoned red shirt, skinny jeans and colorful sneakers steps out of it.
"Welcome, Lance!" says Chris, "Try not to make me blind with those sneakers," he grins.
"Thank you, Chris," says Lance with a smirk, "And I see you still haven't changed that worn out shirt since last decade."
Chris looks angry while Mathew gives Lance thumbs up.
Mathew appears in the confessional, "That Lance guy had the guts to be snarky with Chris, I already like him," he chuckles.
A beautiful girl with short brown hair, wearing a grey shirt and khaki pants steps out of a newly arrived car. Her first word upon arriving is quite surprising to the present contestants, "Yo!" she says to everyone.
"Yo, Halle!" says Chris before shaking her hand.
Lance scoffs, "Ugh! Nobody says 'yo' anymore!"
Halle looks at Lance, keeping a serene look on her face, "Excuse me, I say 'yo', and that's enough people for it to be considered cool."
Mathew gives Lance a thumbs down, and the black haired boy playfully pushes him.
Lance is shown in the confessional, "Thumbs down? What's this, Youtube?" he starts scratching the back of his head, "Although I must confess those thumbs up boosted my confidence."
The next car arrives and drops a short overweight man with long black hair. He wears glasses and a blue jacket over a red shirt. Chris announces, as always, "Welcome, Dominic!"
"Call me Do, please!" says Dominic with a smug expression on his face, "The one and only DoMia, legendary paladin from Zendar Kingdom."
Lance raises an eyebrow, "Are you serious? Can someone kick this guy back to Dorkland?"
"LAWLZORS!" says Dominic. He is still walking to the other competitors, not caring about Lance's mean comments.
Dominic is shown in the confessional, "Haters gonna hate."
Another car arrives, and a faint noise can be heard coming from it.
"What's that noise?" asks Cillian.
Ryan says, "It seems like it's coming from the car, but I can't see a siren or anything like that."
As soon as the door opens the noise gets louder. A middle aged woman with blond spiked hair comes out of it continuously yelling, "Wooooooooooooooooo!"
"Excuse me mistress," Ryan tries to talk to her, but she continues yelling.
Lance slaps her across the face and the lady suddenly stops.
"Oh, what the heck!?" she says, "Don't you respect your elders?"
Lance thinks for a moment, "Um, yes I do, unless they sound like a broken police siren!"
"I'm sorry," says the short haired lady adjusting her headband, "I just couldn't keep my excitement. It's hard to believe I am here."
Mallory interrupts, "No, he should be sorry!" She says pointing to Lance, "Its not nice to slap an old lady."
"But I-" starts Lance.
Lizzie says smiling, 'It's okay, I'm used to it," she receives some worried looks, "And I'm not that old!"
Chris says to her, "Welcome, Lizzie, to Total Drama!"
"Oh yeah, I'm on Total Drama!" yells Lizzie, "Wooooooooooooooooooooo!"
"Shut it!" yell the contestants in unison, except Ryan who says a barely audible "Could you stop yelling, please?"
"Okay, okay. An elder can't have fun nowadays," Lizzie says looking to the side.
Cillian looks at her sympathetically, "Of course you can, Lizzie, have all the fun you want."
Lizzie yells once again, "Woooooooooooooooo!" the contestants cover their ears while Cillian grins mischievously.
As the next car arrives, Lizzie stops yelling. A tall young man with short black hair and a big joyful smile on his face steps out of the vehicle. "Hi Chris!" he says with a very soft voice that doesn't fit him at all.
Mathew nudges Lance and both laugh at young man's unusual voice.
"Hello, Louie," says Chris, "And welcome to Total Drama, man!"
Louie hugs Chris, "Thank you very much!" he says, leaving Chris looking uncomfortable.
Louie proceeds to hug every single contestant present at the moment, leaving them as uncomfortable as Chris. When he reaches Mallory, he hugs her for a longer time, takes a deep whiff and lets go of her.
Louie is shown in the confessional, "Mallory is perfect for me, I know it! She is the prettiest girl I have ever seen, and we will marry and have beautiful children! That's what I call love at first sight," he sighs and smiles dreamily.
The next car to arrive drops a blond physically fit woman. She wears a purple headband, pink top, black gymnastic pants and bright pink leg warmers.
The woman eyes the contestants, especially Meredith and Lizzie, and asks, "Oh my, is it headbands season? I thought I was the one with an eccentric fashion sense," she laughs.
Mathew examines her from bottom to top and says, "I think it's a little bit of both."
"Looks like someone got stuck in the eighties," says Lance, mocking the woman's eccentric wardrobe.
"Wow you-" Cillian tries to talk but is interrupted by Chris.
"Okay, enough of comments about Inna's wardrobe!" yells Chris, "Welcome to Total Drama, by the way."
Inna smiles and says, "Thank you, Chris. And I thought you were the mean one."
Chris grins, "It's just a matter of time, girl," he says, "This is just episode one."
Inna looks scared but soon smiles, "Anyway," she directs to the contestants, "You might be a little confused by my outfit. I'm dressed like that to promote my fitness and health care projects, because, you know, we have to fight obesity..." a shadow covers Inna, as some of the contestants look at her, frightened. Regardless of that, she continues talking, "and obesity is really bad. You don't want to end up morbidly obese because you just lay down in your couch eating junk food the entire day and-" Inna is interrupted by a powerful throat clearing.
As the blonde looks behind her, she notices an incredibly tall obese man. He wears a formal blue shirt with two pens sticking out of his pocket, and his frame is strongly intimidating.
A joyful Chris announces, "Welcome to Total Drama, Foreman!"
Inna starts chuckling nervously as she stays still in front of the mountain of a man known as Foreman.
The large man furrows his eyebrows and says in an incredibly deep voice, "I will let you get away with that one, gnome," he joins the other contestants.
Inna is shown in the confessional looking frightened, "I... Saw my life... Flash before my eyes."
The next car arrives, dropping a girl with dirty blond hair and freckles in her face, she wears a grey shirt and dark jeans. As she gets out of the car, Lana smiles wide.
Lana appears in the confessional, "I think I know that girl, and if I'm right she is VelvetCupcakes, the amateur mystery novel writer!" she squeals excitedly, "I can recognize her from her profile pic, I love this girl so much I might be her number one fan! I can't wait to be her best friend."
"Yo, Terry!" says Chris greeting her.
Terry looks at him uneasy, "Yo, err... Bro!" she walks to the other contestants.
Halle looks at Terry and says, "Put more confidence next time, you were too insecure," Terry smiles and nods.
The next car arrives, and a bearded average-looking man wearing a plaid green and red shirt steps out of it.
Chris announces, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Antonio!"
Every girl present at the moment swoons, with the exception of Halle.
Halle says, "Ugh, come on, this guy isn't even handsome. Right, Terry?" she looks to the side only to see Terry gazing at Antonio.
Lance is shown in the confessional, "What happened to the ladies? That guy isn't even attractive!"
Louie says in the confessional, "Come on, even I am more good looking than that guy! Why do the ladies ignore me?"
"Hello," says Antonio to the contestants, "Nice to meet you," he waves, revealing an engagement ring on his finger.
Lance smirks and says, "Cue the girls crying."
Meredith is shown in the confessional, "Whyyyyyyyyyyy!?" she cries.
Lizzie appears in the confessional, "So young and already engaged? That meas no fun for us."
Mallory says in the confessional, "Why must you be so handsome!?"
A car arrives and a girl with shoulder-length blond hair wearing a grey sweater steps out of it.
"Patricia!" says Chris, "You are a big fan of Total Drama, so you might as well be a big fan of moi!" he looks to the side and scoffs, "Who isn't?"
Patricia says, "Well, to be honest, you are my least favorite reality show host," she smiles embarrassed.
Cillian laughs obnoxiously from where he is. As everybody looks at him, he giggles, "Teehee?"
Chris glares at Patricia, "But I still like you, don't worry," she says smiling.
"That's more acceptable," says Chris.
Patricia says in the confessional, "I should have lied and say he was my favorite... But he lacks some qualities a reality show host must have. I mean, where are the eyebrow raises?"
The next car arrives and drops a short boy, who is carrying a black and golden box.
"If it isn't Xavier," Chris says, "And of course, his pet box."
Xavier looks angry, "It is not a pet!" he yells.
"What is it, then?" asks Meredith.
"I'm glad you are interested, dear lady," says Xavier, "This box is simply the answer to everything."
Dominic interrupts, "Bull! Everyone knows the answer to everything is 43."
"42, chubs, " says Halle while looking her nails.
Terry asks, "You read that book too?" Halle nods. "Awesome!" says Terry smiling wide.
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Cupcakes-" She pauses, "I mean, Terry is already making a friend. That doesn't mean she can't have two, right?" she smiles nervously.
The next car arrives, and a peculiar-looking woman steps out of it. She has dark skin and hair, wears a torn lilac shirt, and old pieces of fabric around her waist like a skirt. Her most notable feature is the missing piece of her forehead, allowing us to see her flesh.
Louie jumps scared and screams, "Oh my God, what is that?" the lady approaches Louie.
"What do you want from me?" asks Louie.
The woman says in a hoarse voice, "Do you have chicken?"
Louie starts crying, "Please, don't hurt me!"
"Weak!" yells the woman. She approaches Ryan and asks in her hoarse voice, "Do you have chicken?"
Ryan keeps his composure and says, "I'm afraid I don't, mistress."
"You see now!?" everyone turns their attention to the woman as she continues, "That's nowadays' youth will end up robbed! Raped! And beat up! Only to have their corpses thrown in the dumpster!"
Everybody stands there in an awkward silence, until Lance breaks it, "Can someone please take this mess back to the mental hospital?"
Chris smiles sweetly, "Aww, I love warm welcomes. This is Anamaria, everyone!"
The next car arrives as Chris says, "Now I would like everyone to direct their attention to that car!"
The door opens, and a strong Hispanic man wearing a red sleeveless shirt and a hat with a yellow "K" in it steps out.
"Oh my gosh!" says Mallory, "Is that THE Carlos?"
Lance's eyes widen, "How are we supposed to compete with someone like him on a reality show!?"
"Dude," Says Mathew, "I'm your fan!"
Patricia is shown incredibly angry in the confessional, "I can't believe they brought this obnoxious piece of crap to MY Total Drama! And I guess he didn't even had to pass through the auditioning process!" she starts breathing heavily, "Control yourself, Patricia, control yourself," she pauses and looks down, "AAAAAAAARGH-" the camera goes static.
Chris smiles wide, "This man here spares introductions, right dude?"
Carlos shakes Chris' hands and says, "Right!"
The last car is seen arriving, and a redheaded girl steps out of it. She wears a grey shirt and has a piercing on her nose.
"What's up?" she asks.
Chris greets her, "Cleo! Welcome to Total Drama."
"Thank you, Chris," she says.
During this bland scene, Dominic is checking Cleo out in a very noticeable way.
Cleo turns to him, "What? Never seen a girl before?"
Dominic looks the other side and whistles innocently.
Cleo says in the confessional, "Creep."
"We have everyone!" says Chris, "Now for the teams..."
Patricia asks, "We won't have a team pick?"
"No, I decide!" says Chris with a smirk, "The first team consists of Xavier, Cleo, Ryan, Halle, Dominic, Lana, Cillian, Inna, Foreman and..."
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Please be Terry, please be Terry..."
"Terry," says Chris.
Lana yells, "Yes!" and immediately covers her mouth with her hands.
"Okay," says Chris slowly. He speaks normally again, "You will be known as the Soaring Seagulls!" the team cheers.
Chris starts, "As for Carlos, Anamaria, Lance, Meredith, Louie, Lizzie-"
"Woooooooohoooooooo!" yells Lizzie.
Chris resumes, "Antonio, Patricia, Mathew, and Mallory, you will be known as the Clam Chowders!"
"Really?" asks Cleo, "They get an awesome name complete with a reference and we are clam chowders?"
"Get used to it," says Chris, "That's what you will eat while staying at the cruise ship," Meredith gags.
Chris continues, "Speaking of cruise ships, you will now embark in S.S. Total Drama!"
Louie asks, "So why does this ship say 'Queen Bohemia'?"
"Simple," says Chris, "That's not your cruise ship," the luxurious cruise ship known as 'Queen Bohemia' leaves the dock revealing an old rusty ship where we can see the name 'S.S. Total Drama' written, "All aboard S.S. Total Drama!" announces Chris.
The contestants faces express shock, and some even disgust.
"Classic Chris," says Patricia.
Chris impatiently states, "What are you waiting for? All aboard!"
The twenty contestants plus Chris board the ship, "This is the deck," says Chris, "With swimming pool, and everything else someone would want in a deck."
Mathew asks, "Are you too lazy to list everything we will find in this deck?"
"Yes," says Chris, "Problem?" he directs the contestants to a large area full of tables, "This is the dining area, where you will have all the clam chowder you want, and guess who is cooking?"
Meredith asks, "Chef Hatchet?"
"That was a rhetorical question," says Chris, "But you are right, Chef Hatchet!"
Mathew asks, "Can't you get a good cook at least once?"
"I wonder why this guy still hasen't retired," Says Patricia.
"Chicken!" yells Anamaria.
Chris says, "Don't worry dudes and dudettes, Chef Hatchet has experience in cruise ships."
Various sighs of relief are heard.
"He used to clean the deck in S.S. Crappyboatthatbreakseasily," says Chris.
The sighs of relief now turn into mumbles.
Chris says, "Now, down that hallway you will find your cabins, one for the Seagulls and one for the Chowders, but don't worry, the cabins are divided into two rooms: One for men and one for women."
"Good," says Cleo, "Because I don't want to sleep near someone," she says that turning her head in Dominic's direction.
Chris instructs, "You may go to your cabins now, see you tomorrow for the first challenge!"
The contestants follow Chris' orders.
The host turns to the camera, "That's it, twenty contestants in one cruise ship, and there is one more twist they still don't know. Find out about this twist and many other interesting, and not so interesting stuff in the next episode of S.S. Total Drama!"
Chapter 2 - Honey, We Aren't Moving[]
Chris is shown standing on the dock of the cruise ship, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama, we met the twenty contestants for this season! Pretty interesting cast, isn't it? Guess who chose it," he points to himself with his thumb, "Uh-huh, you can stop thanking me now. The the recently arrived contestants were assigned to teams, and had a little tour around the cruise ship where they will stay during this season. What will happen today, in the first challenge of S.S. Total Drama? Find out now!"
The male Soaring Seagulls are shown in their room of the cabin.
Xavier asks his box, "Which bed should I choose?" he waits some seconds, nods and lays on one of the beds.
Dominic laughs and says to Ryan, "What a nerd!" he gets a magazine entitled 'Over Nine Thousand' and lays in his bed reading it. Ryan rolls his eyes and leaves the room.
Cillian, who is sitting on his bed, observes Dominic reading, Xavier presumably sleeping, and Foreman snoring loudly. The boy looks down, "This is so boring," he says to himself stretching the 'so'.
Meredith and Patricia are shown in their cabin.
Patricia smiles, "Meredith, my friend, would you join me in a plan?"
"Of course Pat," Meredith says in her usual goofy voice, "What kind of plan do you have in mind?"
Patricia says, "There is a guy here-"
"Ooooh," Meredith interrupts, "Patty is in love!"
"Eww, no!" yells Patricia, "That's not it," she blushes.
Meredith asks, "Then what is it?"
Patricia says, "There is this guy here named Carlos, you probably know him from TV."
Meredith smiles, "Oh yeah, even I know that one, it's the famous Kentucky Carlos!"
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Well, at least she doesn't live under a rock and actually knows who is Carlos. Meredith may be my only option, I can't mess up trying to befriend her."
"And you know what else?" asks Patricia rhetorically, "Carlos is the single worst thing to ever happen to reality television!"
"Wow," says Meredith, "I was never into reality shows, but my brother really liked him in Outlaster."
Patricia's eyes widen, "Don't listen to your brother, Carlos is dumber than a pile of bricks!"
Meredith raises her finger, "Then why does my brother say that his strategy-"
"I said don't listen to him!" yells Patricia as she holds Meredith's shoulders, "Now, I propose you a little alliance so we can get rid of that little worm that is plaguing Reality TV like a disease!"
Meredith looks at her confused, "If you say so..."
"Deal." says Patricia, "Now we just have to plot his elimination."
Meredith says, "What if he is plotting our elimination right now?"
Patricia chuckles and sighs, "I doubt it, he is probably in his cabin smelling his own farts."
The scene cuts to Mathew and Carlos in their cabin.
"And that's how we blindsided Ralph," says Carlos, "Ah, that old rascal..."
Mathew says, "Awesome, dude," he thinks for a moment, "What do you think of an alliance?" Carlos smirks.
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "I just talked about my epic blindside and the guy offers me an alliance? I don't know if I'm that smart or just surrounded by idiots."
Carlos asks, "And who else will be part of it?"
"I know someone who might be interested," says Mathew, "I'll get him," He gets up and leaves the room.
Lance is shown with Mallory in a hot tub near the deck of the ship.
Mallory gets near Lance and romantically caresses his arm, "So... tell me more about you," she says seductively.
"I'm gay," he says bluntly, making Mallory blush out of embarrassment.
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "Wow, talk about embarrassment. Well, at least there are other hotties in that cruise ship."
The scene goes back to the 'couple' in the hot tub. Both are shown looking at each other blankly until Mathew arrives.
"Hey," says Mathew, "Lance, I have to talk to you."
Lance waits for him to talk.
"Alone," says Mathew.
Lance quickly gets out of the hot tub and follows Mathew, "See you later!" Lance says to Mallory.
Mallory smiles and waves.
The blonde is shown in the confessional, "There's something really suspicious going on there. I will investigate"
The two boys are shown in the hallway, "What do you think of an alliance?" asks Mathew.
Mallory hides near the entrance of the hallway, hearing their conversation from this point on.
"Just you and me?" asks Lance.
Mathew says, "No. You, me," he whispers, "and Carlos," Mallory's eyes get wide.
Lance asks, "Isn't it better to get one more person? I mean, to make it safer," Mallory looks puzzled.
"We can think about that later," says Mathew, "So far it's just us three." Mallory looks concerned and runs away.
The blonde is shown in the confessional again, "I knew there was something going on between these two, but Carlos? I can't accept it, he is a married man!"
All the girls except Mallory are shown sitting on another table at the dining area.
"Why isn't the ship moving?" asks Halle, who is eating a steak, "I'm tired of sitting in this dock."
Meredith looks up from her plate, surprised, "The ship isn't moving? Then why is Anamaria always getting motion sick?" Anamaria gets up and vomits in a trash can.
Inna says, "That doesn't make sense."
Halle points to Anamaria, "She doesn't make sense," Anamaria waves holding a dead fish.
Cillian enters the dining room, "May I join you girls at the table?"
"Of course you can," says Terry politely.
Cillian sighs and says, "The guys in my team are so boring," he looks down, "I wish I could spend some time with you girls," Cillian sits in an empty chair.
Anamaria returns to the table, only to see Cillian taking her spot, "That is my spot!" she yells.
"Sorry mistress, it was empty," says Cillian innocently.
"Get out of my spot!" yells Anamaria once again.
Cillian looks at her, "Let me stay there," his eyes sparkle, "Pretty please?"
Anamaria looks sympathetic, "Awww, of course you can," she walks to Halle and yells, "Let me sit there!"
"No, that's my spot," says Halle defensively.
Anamaria hits Halle with a dead fish, "Let me sit there now! I want to finish my corn soup!"
Halle gets a chicken wing and gives it to Anamaria, "Don't you want chicken? Have fun!"
Anamaria grabs the chicken wing and smiles wide, "Chicken!" she yells before hitting Halle once again with a dead fish and running to her cabin while cackling evilly.
Halle sniffs the air, "I have to take a shower, my hair smells like dead fish."
Cillian looks at her with his sparkling eyes, "Why don't you finish your steak first?"
"You're right," says Halle, "I can handle this fish smell for some minutes."
Cillian gets up, "I think I'm going, I have to..." he stops to think, "Use the bathroom," some of the girls look uncomfortable, "Sorry, I didn't mean to put it that bluntly," he walks away embarrassed.
Cillian is shown entering his cabin and getting a 'Super Glue' tube. He sneaks into the cabin of the female Soaring Seagulls. Cillian spots a cerulean bag with a tag that reads 'Halle', he searches for some beauty products until finding a bottle.
"Oh, I found the shampoo," he says as he fills the bottle with super glue, "Classic," he grins.
Cillian's grin fades as he hears some steps. The boy hides behind the cabin door.
Halle is shown entering the cabin, "The door is open?" the brunette asks herself, "Suspicious," she searches through her bag, "Oh, I forgot something," Halle leaves her cabin and enters the Clam Chowders cabin.
Cillian sighs relieved, he leaves the girls cabin and enters his.
Halle returns to her cabin and enters the bathroom. The camera shows the shower cabin from outside, only Halle's feet are visible. Some time later, the brunette leaves the bathroom wrapped around a towel, with another towel around her head, only to find all the other girls from her team already in the cabin.
"So..." says Halle, "What's up, girls?" she says removing the towel from her head, only to reveal her hair looking the same as always.
Inna says, "You might want to change in the bathroom, there are cameras here."
"Eh," says Halle, "I don't care," to her teammates surprise, Halle starts changing in front of the cameras. Of course, her body is censored.
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Why can't I be pretty like Halle? Her body is just perfect," she looks down, "Why must I be so fat and ugly? I'll never be Velvet-" she pauses, "I mean, Terry's friend."
Terry looks down at her hands, "Oh, my hands are so dry," she looks up, "Does anybody have a cream or something?"
Halle says, "Of course Terry homeskillet," she hands her a bottle, "Feel free to use it."
Terry applies some cream to her hands and rubs them against each other, only to realize her hands are now glued together. Her eyes widen as she asks, "What the..."
The girl is interrupted by Chris on the megaphone, "The next challenge will start in five minutes, meet me in the sports court. In case you don't know where it is located... Well, good luck finding it!" Chris laughs, "McLean out!"
"Err, girls," says Terry, "Help?" she tries to unglue her hands to no success.
"I got this!" yells Inna as she jumps at Terry and tries to split hands apart, "No progress."
Lana timidly states, "Girls, we don't have time, the challenge will start."
"Lana is right," says Cleo, "We have to get there soon, at least we can try to win."
Chris, the Clam Chowders, and the boys from Soaring Seagulls are shown waiting for the female Seagulls.
Louie impatiently says, "Gosh, what is taking them so long?"
As if on cue, the girls from the Soaring Seagulls arrive. Terry is is still with her hands glued together.
Cillian says to Halle, "Nice hair!" he snickers, but soon realizes her hair is perfectly normal, "Wait..."
Cillian is shown in the confessional, "What went wrong? I did everything right!"
The scene returns to Chris and the contestants in the sports court.
"Welcome to your first challenge!" says Chris, "But first, you may have noticed that we are not moving."
Lance says, "It doesn't take a genius to notice that."
"The thing is," says Chris, "We are not moving!" he puts emphasis on the 'not'.
Antonio asks, "You mean, never?"
"Yes," says Chris, "When I said you would compete in a cruise ship, I meant it literally."
"Wow," says Matthew, "That's just lame."
Lance laughs and says, "Low budget, Chris?"
"No!" says Chris defensively, "... Partially. You see, we have some problems in the engine, just some missing nuts and bolts, nothing really serious. But as soon as my interns fix it, we will be sailing across the ocean!"
"Wooooooohooooooooo!" cheers Lizzie, causing everyone else to cheer at the same time.
Chris yells, "Enough!" everyone stops cheering, "Let me explain the first challenge, it's a simple one. You will compete in a basketball match, the whole team will be playing, first team to make three points wins."
"That's it?" asks Carlos.
Chris replies, "Yes, plain and simple. You can begin... Now!" he throws the basketball upwards.
Foreman easily grabs the ball due to his height and runs towards the hoop, when he gets there he starts breathing heavily. During this break, Mathew gets the ball from him and runs to the other hoop, avoiding anyone on his way.
Mathew throws the ball at the basket and Terry tries to block to no success, due to her hands glued together, "Point to the Clam Chowders!" announces Chris.
The Clam Chowders cheer and the players get back in position.
Inna starts with the ball, but Carlos snatches it from her. As he runs towards the hoop, Halle manages to get the ball from him and throws it to Dominic, who is on the other side of the field staring at Cleo. The ball bumps in his head and is snatched by Meredith. The girl runs and launches the ball in Antonio's direction, the bearded man catches it and aims at the basket. Lana jumps without much energy to catch the ball, but fails, "Another point to the Clam Chowders!" announces Chris, "Next time the Clam Chowders make a point they win, so be aware, Seagulls."
"Keep up the good work chowders!" cheers Lizzie. The competitors get back in position again.
The ball starts with Xavier this time, he is awkwardly holding both the ball and his box. Xavier throws the ball to Inna, who runs towards the hoop until Carlos gets in her way. The blonde, then, throws the ball to Cleo.
Cleo runs, but is soon blocked by Mathew and Lance. The only option is to throw the ball to Terry, and she does so. Terry tries to bounce the ball on the ground using her glued hands but fails miserably. Mathew gets the ball from her and throws it to Lance, who runs until being blocked by Foreman, he manages to trick Foreman and throws the ball to Carlos, who makes the Clam Chowders' third and final point.
Chris blows a whistle.
"That's it?" asks Cleo, "How anticlimactic."
"Yes, Clair," says Chris, showing all his knowledge about the contestants' names, "The Clam Chowders win 3-0... Pathetic, I must add."
Dominic yells, "This challenge was pathetic!"
Chris asks, "What else can we do stuck in a ship?" Dominic remains silent, "Thought so," adds Chris, "But let's go straight to the point, Soaring Seagulls, see you and your patheticness at the elimination ceremony. Good luck getting rid of one of you," he leaves the area chuckling.
Halle smirks and says, "And I know exactly who, right Terry?" Terry gulps, "Relax," says Halle still smirking, "Everything will be alright."
In the male Clam chowders cabin, all ten team members are partying, or at least trying to have the best thing they can call a party.
"I brought music!" announces Louie in his high pitched voice. Everyone cheers as the boy gets a radio, when he turns it on a Disney song starts playing.
Mathew looks at him with a raised eyebrow, "Illana Santana? Really?"
"What a loser!" says Lance. Both young men laugh.
Louie gets in an awkward kung-fu position and yells as if he was ready to attack the bullies.
The bullied teenager appears in the confessional, "I hope Mallory noticed my mad fighting skills, she will soon realize I'm a real man."
Mallory appears in the confessional stifling her laughter, she finally gives up and laughs hysterically.
Mallory is shown laughing as Louie throws punches at the air.
"Is this guy for real?" asks Lance.
Mallory giggles, "I hope he isn't, that's depressing," upon hearing that, Louie looks down and leaves the cabin.
Lizzie is shown gushing over Antonio, "So, you are a teacher, right?"
"Yes," replies the bearded man.
She looks at his shirt, "I really like this shirt, where did you buy it?"
Antonio looks uncomfortable, "I don't remember."
"Oh," says Lizzie, "You are a man of few words, how cute."
Mallory joins the older lady, "He is a hottie isn't he?"
Antonio blushes, "I am still here," he chuckles awkwardly.
"I know, sweetie," says Mallory while rubbing his hair, "I love your hair!"
"Thanks," he says while blushing, "I have to... Go somewhere," Antonio gets up and leaves the cabin.
Lizzie and Mallory look at each other and gush at the same time, "Awww, he is so shy!"
Anamaria suddenly appears between the two ladies, "Chicken!" she yells.
The scene changes to the Soaring Seagulls in the elimination ceremony, it's nighttime and they are all sitting in folding chairs at the side of the cruise ship near the lifesaver boats. Chris is standing in front of them, holding a plate with nine marshmallows, "This is your first time at the elimination ceremony, but you probably already know what to do after all those seasons. As I call your name, you will receive a marshmallow, the one who doesn't receive one will be eliminated and taken to the Lifesaver of Losers, which will descend into the ocean..."
"Of shame?" asks Cleo.
Chris says, "No, just the ocean. But don't worry, you just have to row back to land and you will be safe, we are not evil to the point of dropping you in the middle of the ocean," Chris looks to the side and scoffs, "Last time it resulted in lawsuits," the host pauses, "Anywaaay, marshmallows go to..."
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Ryan."
"Halle."
"Foreman."
"Cleo."
"Xavier."
"Inna."
"Dominic."
Chris looks at the remaining contestants, "Lana, Terry and Cillian..."
Lana's eyes start getting teary, "Lana, you're safe!" says Chris as he throws a marshmallow to her.
The girl smiles wide and catches the marshmallow.
Chris says, "Terry," the girl raises her glued hands, "Do I have to explain why you're in the bottom two?" she shakes her head.
"As for Cillian," says Chris, "You know what you did."
Cillian fakes surprise, "What did I do?"
Chris says, "The last marshmallow goes to..."
"Terry!" says Chris as he throws her marshmallow. It hits her in the forehead and falls on the floor, as she is unable to catch it due to her hands glued together.
"What!?" asks Cillian, surprised.
Halle smirks, "I'm smarter than you think, boy."
"Cillian, time to take the Lifesaver of Losers," says Chris.
Cillian enters the boat and descends into the ocean. Once floating, he looks down and says to himself, "I had so much potential and all of it was wasted. I could have dominated the strategic game, but I preferred to use my deceiving powers to pull a prank... I guess that wasn't the wisest choice."
Chris is shown in the cruise ship, "Ah, at least he learned his lesson... If you're going to be a villain be a decent one," the host laughs, "Will this ship be fixed by next episode? Will Louie be able impress Mallory? Will anyone make another stupid mistake? Find the answer to those questions in the next episode of S.S. Total Drama!" he waits a moment, "Or not."
Chapter 3 - Waking Up In... Vegas?[]
Chris is standing on the deck of the cruise ship, he smiles and starts the usual recap, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama, alliances were formed," the recap shows Patricia talking to Meredith, then Mathew talking to Carlos, "Suspicions were raised," The recap shows Mallory overhearing Mathew and Lance's conversation, "And hands were glued," the recap now shows Terry trying to split her hands apart, "But don't worry, at the end of the day she was sent to the medical tent. Nothing some boiling water couldn't fix." Chef arrives at the deck holding a chainsaw, "Problem solved, Chris," he says.
Chris' eyes widen, "Ch-Chef! Get out of here!"
Chef leaves the area, allowing Chris to continue the recap, "In a display of utter patheticness, the Soaring Seagulls lost 3-0 in a basketball game and sent Cillian home for pulling a sticky prank on Terry. How did they discover it? Find out now on S.S. Total Drama!
The Soaring Seagulls are coming back from the elimination ceremony.
"Wow, Halle, how did you know it was him?" asks Terry, obviously impressed.
Halle smirks and says, "Nothing walks past Halle's hawk eyes."
Terry laughs, "Oh Halle, you're awesome."
"I know," Halle replies.
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Halle is so obnoxious, how can VelvetCupcakes like her? Why can't she be my friend?!" Lana gasps, "D-did I say VelvetCupcakes? I meant Terry, totally Terry."
Carlos, Lance and Mathew are shown in the guys' part of the Clam Chowders cabin.
"Why are we here again?" asks Lance.
Carlos raises an eyebrow, "That's our cabin, remember?"
"Oh, right," says Lance, "I thought we were conveniently placed here so we would discuss our alliance."
Mathew says, "That is a good idea, but we need a fourth person for it to work."
"And I know exactly who," says Carlos, "Remember the first reaction upon my arrival?"
Lance thinks for a moment, "Err, no. Why would I?"
"It was Mallory's," says Carlos, "She was impressed by me, so she might like me. Plus, she is gullible enough."
"You're right," says Lance, "I don't think Mallory is the brightest bulb out there. I mean, she hit on me! Look at my skinny jeans and bright shoes, could I be more stereotypical?"
Carlos' eyes widen, "Wait, stereotypical?"
Mathew laughs, "Only if you wore a bow in your hair," he says.
"Come on!" says Lance, "Gays don't wear a bow on their hair, what kind of dimwit would think that?"
Carlos gets up, "I'm going to... See if I find... Mallory! I'll search for Mallory," he leaves the cabin.
Foreman is shown sleeping in his cabin. He is snoring loudly.
Inna's head pops up from the door, "Hello... F-Foreman?"
Foreman turns around and grumbles.
Inna shifts her eyes back and forth before poking Foreman's belly. She gasps, "Why doesn't it jiggle?" she asks herself, "Looks like he's pregnant," the blonde giggles.
Foreman opens his eyes and grabs Inna's neck, "What are you doing here, my little friend?" he asks in his loud, deep voice.
"Your little friend, ya?" she asks, "I'm pleased to be called your friend, now would you like some... I don't know, green tea?"
"No!" Foreman barks.
Inna smiles nervously, "Okay thanks bye!" she says as fast as possible before running out of the cabin.
Inna is shown in the confessional looking rather sad, "Well, I noticed something last challenge, and I wanted to help Foreman... But I'm too scared of him!" she smiles confidently, "I gotta try again!"
Inna enters Foreman's cabin again, this time with a sandwich and orange juice, "Foreman, I made some sandwiches for the girls, would you like some too?"
"My little friend..." says Foreman, "Get out!"
Inna says, "I just wanted to help," she gets down on her knees, "Please?"
"What do you want?" the large man asks.
"Well," says Inna, "I noticed your performance on the basketball challenge, how you lost your breath after running and... Would you like some help?"
Foreman raises an eyebrow, "Help? I don't need help."
Inna takes a bite of the sandwich she made for Foreman and puts it on a bedside table, "Are you sure you don't want help? You need to get more active!" she starts jumping and splashes orange juice all over the floor.
"Stop that!" shouts Foreman. He looks down and says, "I do want help."
"Yay!" cheers Inna, "Meet me at the deck at six for some aerobics!" she leaves the room.
Foreman looks down and sighs heavily.
Inna suddenly burst the door open and yells, "Don't forget your sweatband!" she abruptly slams the door and leaves.
Foreman looks down and takes a bite of Inna's sandwich, "Hmm, tuna," He says to himself.
The dining area is shown, Terry and Halle are sitting on a table, Lana is sitting by herself on another, and the remaining girls are all sitting on a third one.
Lana, who is eating salmon, pokes her food with a fork, while looking at Halle and Terry chatting and laughing at the other table.
Ryan sits down next to Lana with a plate of salad and a glass of iced tea, "May I sit here with you?"
Lana smiles, "Of course. I was feeling kinda lonely," she says.
"Iced tea?" says Ryan, offering her his beverage.
Lana looks at the glass of tea, "I think it is," she says nonchalantly.
Ryan chuckles and says with a smile, "No, silly, I was offering you."
"No, thanks," she mumbles while staring at Terry and Halle on their table.
"Anything wrong?" asks Ryan.
Lana continues staring at the two girls, not paying attention to Ryan's question.
Ryan waves his hand in front of the distracted girl, "Lana?" he calls her.
Lana looks at him and blushes, "Oh, sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
"I asked if anything was wrong," says Ryan.
Lana mumbles, "No, it's okay."
"If you say so..." says Ryan before starting to eat his salad.
Ryan is shown in the confessional, "It doesn't take a genius to notice something is wrong with Lana. I want to help her, but I feel like I'm invading her personal space."
Antonio is shown in the deck, sitting in a folding chair while drinking some sort of tropical juice.
Suddenly, a hand starts rubbing his hair, and a voice says, "Hello Tony-poo, did I mention your hair is great today?"
Antonio turns around to see Lizzie, "Oh, hello Lizzie," he says, trying to be polite.
Mallory comes running from a distance, she arrives where Antonio is and says, "A-ha! There you are," she pinches his cheeks.
Lizzie turns to Mallory, "Get out, he's mine!" she says.
"Aren't you a little old for him?" asks Mallory in a mocking tone.
Lizzie responds, "Aren't you a little young for him?"
The girls start fighting verbally, and while this happens, Antonio sneaks out of his chair and leaves the area. Carlos arrives at the deck, the girls are still arguing, he sits in the folding chair and starts sipping from a glass of juice while hearing their discussion.
When the girls are done arguing, Lizzie turns to the folding chair and asks, "Who do you like better, Tony-poo?"
Carlos turns his head and answers, "Sorry, Antonio left quite some time ago."
"I gotta go find him!" says Lizzie before sprinting out of the deck.
Mallory looks at Carlos, "Soooo..." she tries starting a conversation.
Carlos smirks, "You, me, Mathew and... Lance. Alliance?"
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "Oh my gosh! I was offered to be in an alliance by Kentucky Carlos! Yes!"
Mallory smiles wide, "Of course! Who will we vote out first?"
"Hold your horses girl," says Carlos, "We've got much to discuss first."
Mallory smiles excitedly, "Okay, let's go to your secret hideout," she says.
Carlos looks at her concerned, "It's not like that, I just discuss stuff in my cabin," he says, "Besides, it's not time yet. See you later!' Carlos exits the area, leaving Mallory with a joyful smile on her face.
Also on the deck, Cleo is sitting in a folding chair, in her swimwear, reading something that appears to be a comic book. Dominic creeps behind Cleo and watches her as he drools.
Dominic is shown in the confessional, "Wow, the sight was gorgeous! Better than a double T-bone steak with extra barbecue sauce and potatoes with bacon and blue cheese dressing," the nerd stares blankly at a fixed point and starts drooling.
Cleo notices a shadow behind her and turns around, as she sees Dominic she slaps him with her comic book and yells, "Get away from me, creep!"
"Ow!" yells Dominic. He rubs his cheeks and asks, "What are you reading? Is it the last volume of Brass Man?"
Cleo raises an eyebrow, "It's a manga, stalker."
"Ooh, manga!" says Dominic, "Which ones do you like? Cadet Star? Samantha Disk Capturer?"
Cleo shows a page of the manga depicting a man cutting another man's head with a katana, and blood splashing everywhere, "Still think I'm into girly stuff?" she says, still with her eyebrow raised.
Dominic rubs his chin and thinks, "Hmm... Maybe," he says.
Cleo smiles, "Okay," she stares Dominic down, "Now get out of here unless you want to end up like Tojiro!"
"Who?" asks him, clueless.
Cleo holds up the manga in the page that depicts the man with a sliced head, while looking at Dominic in a scary manner.
"Oh my God, don't kill me!" he screams while running for his life.
Cleo looks at the camera and chuckles, "That always works," she says before getting a handled video-game and playing it, "Now I'll just relax and save the princess, it's gonna be-"
Cleo is interrupted by Chris' voice in the loudspeaker, "Attention contestants, meet me at the hallway near the entrance of the cruise ship's casino. I'll be waiting."
"Son of a monkey's uncle," says Cleo grumpily before closing her handled video-game and heading to the her cabin to change for the challenge.
Both teams are shown with Chris at the hallway, in front of the door which leads to the casino.
As Chris holds the handles of the large door, Xavier says monotonously, "The box tells me that we will not see what we are waiting for."
Dominic is shown in the confessional, he laughs obnoxiously and says, "What a dork."
Chris opens the door to reveal a large room, full of arcade machines and other games you can find in an arcade, like crane machines and Skee-Balls.
Carlos says, "Chris, this looks nothing like a casino."
"Well, you see, Carlos," says Chris, "We here at Total Drama do not encourage gambling, so we replaced the old casino with this ultra-modern arcade!"
Cleo raises an eyebrow, "Ultra-modern? Isn't it that old game Frogger right there?" she says pointing to an arcade machine.
Chris gets in front of the machine, blocking it, "Err, no," he lies, "Now let me explain the rules: You will compete in a match-up arcade tournament, each match-up in a different arcade. Each time your team wins a match-up you will get one point. There will be nine match-ups, so one member from the Clam Chowders will have to sit out, any volunteer?"
"Well," says Carlos, "If no one wants, I can sit out. Any objections?"
"Chicken!" yells Anamaria.
Carlos sits on a bench and says, "I thought so."
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "I'm not lazy or unable to play arcades. It was a strategical move, if I don't participate, I won't fail. Therefore, I'll not be targeted if my team loses," he smirks.
"Okay," starts Chris, next to a slot machine, "The first match up is..." he turns the slot and the machine starts. It stops showing Dominic's head, Mathew's head and a 'SF' symbol, "Dominic versus Mathew! And they will be playing Sidewalk Fighters!" announces Chris.
"Yes!" cheers Dominic, "I'll pwn you in this game, for realz!"
Mathew rolls his eyes, "Wow, I think I just peed my pants."
Dominic and Mathew are shown in front of an arcade machine.
"I will chose Carly," says Dominic selecting a blonde with a red beret and green outfit.
Mathew silently selects a dark-skinned man with red hair.
Terry turns to Halle, "I wonder if Dominic is good at this game."
Halle points to the arcade. Both girls turn their attention to the machine, the screen is completely white. The white color fades, revealing Carly passed out on the floor and her energy bar empty, "Impossibru!" yells Dominic.
Halle turns to Terry, "Does that answer your question?"
Terry brings her hand to her forehead.
The scene cuts to Chris besides the slot machine. He starts announcing, "Next match-up..." the host turns the slot and the machine displays Xavier's head, Meredith's head and a crane, "Xavier and Meredith on the crane machine!" he announces, "You will take rounds at the crane, the first person to get a prize wins."
Meredith goes first. She starts handling the crane fairly well.
Patricia yells, "Go for the smallest prize, Meredith!"
Maredith starts answering her, "Okay Pat-" she stops as she notices a morbidly obese cat plushie, "Oh my gosh, this is so cute!" she yells.
Patricia covers her eyes as Meredith tries to get the cat plushie. The crane opens as wide as it can, but it's not big enough to get the cat, "Aww, shucks!" says Meredith, leaving the crane machine.
"Xavier, your turn," says Chris.
Xavier brings the box close to his ears and gets hold of the crane controller. He nods and turns right, nods again and goes forward, he nods once again and goes right one more time. Xavier presses the button and gets the prize, a rubber chicken, he nods again and brings the chicken to him. When the prize is in his hands, the Soaring Seagulls cheer for Xavier.
The boy monotonously says, "In the box, we trust."
The scene cuts to the slot machine spinning, it stops on Lana, Anamaria and a frog, "Lana and Anamaria will compete in Frogger!" announces Chris, "We will see who goes in the best time to decide the winner."
Lana is shown playing it, she is doing average, being ran over twice before getting to the end.
Anamaria is now in front of the machine, "How do I play this!?" she grumpily yells.
Mallory explains, "First you get the joystick, then you have to help the frog cross the road."
"Why not chicken!?" asks Anamaria.
Mallory sighs, "Sorry, Anna, there is no chicken."
"No chicken?" asks Anamaria in a calm manner, she waits some seconds and screams extremely loud, "No chicken!?"
Anamaria gets hold of the arcade machine and turns it over to the ground while screaming, "No chickeeeeeeen!?"
Anamaria is hit by in her neck by a tranquilizer and falls to the ground. Soon after, Chef arrives carrying a gun, "No need to thank me... Not that you ungrateful teenagers would."
He leaves dragging Anamaria by her arm.
Chris says, "Well, I guess Lana wins this round by default!" the Soaring Seagulls cheer.
The slot machine is shown stopping at Foreman, Lance and a kart, "Foreman and Lance will now compete in a kart race simulator!" announces Chris, he turns to the side and scoffs, "I'll love watching this."
Lance gets on his chair and adjusts himself in a comfortable position.
Foreman is shown struggling to get on his chair, partly because the chair is slightly tall, partly because he doesn't fit in it.
Inna runs to help him and starts pushing Foreman upwards to no success. She makes a gesture calling everyone from her team and commands, "Push!"
Inna is shown in the confessional, "Poor Foreman, he must have felt so embarrassed. I wish I could help him... Oh wait, I will help him later today!" she smiles wide.
Foreman is shown sitting on the chair, he barely fits it and his stomach partially covers the kart's wheel. The countdown on the screen reaches zero and the race starts. Lance is doing great, while Foreman is struggling to turn the wheel.
"Go Foreman, you can do this!" cheers Inna.
Foreman's kart is riding off the road while he desperately tries to turn the wheel, "Shut up, girl, it won't budge!"
Inna cheers louder, "Don't give up!"
"I'm trying!" barks Foreman, applying more strength to the wheel. The wheel suddenly de-taches from the kart simulator, causing the burly man to lose his balance and fall off from the chair, letting a loud 'thud' when he hits the floor. On the screen, Foreman's kart hits a tree and explodes.
Chris laughs deviously, "I knew this would be good. Point to the Clam Chowders!"
The Soaring Seagulls surround Foreman to help him get on his feet.
A montage of several matches is shown. Mallory beats Terry in a dancing competition, Cleo beats Antonio in a game of Tetris, and Louie beats Ryan in a match of Duck Hunt.
The montage is interrupted, to show Louie in the confessional smiling wide, "Mallory totally fell for me when I beat Ryan in that game!"
The montage ends after Lizzie and Halle are done in a match of whac-a-mole.
"There we have it!" announces Chris, "Lizzie, you made eight points, congratulations."
"Wooooooohoooooo!" cheers Lizzie, "Beat that, girl!" she says pointing to Halle.
Chris reads the score, "And Halle made..." Chris' eyes widen, "Twenty-six points!"
The Soaring Seagulls cheer, except Lana.
Terry friendly punches Halle's arm, "Twenty-six, huh? I never knew you were good in this kind of stuff."
Halle brags, "Heh, Terry dawg, I have a thing called natural talent."
"Oh, you're awesome, Halley," says Terry before hugging her friend.
Lana is shown in the confessional staring at the camera. Tears start forming on her eyes, and she quickly slaps her own face before the camera goes static.
Chris is shown besides the slot machine, "It's a tie so far, and this last challenge will decide the winner!"
Lance says, "Because that doesn't even happen all the time to build a climax."
"Shush!" says Chris, "The last match-up is Inna vesrus Patricia, and they will compete on the Skee-Ball. Each one will roll the ball twice, the one who makes the most points wins."
Mathew sarcastically says, "Wow, Chris, that was a real twist," he laughs and fist-bumps Lance.
Inna is shown in front of the machine, she rolls the ball and gets fifty points, the highest score, "Yes!" she cheers, as well as her whole team, "I'm a professional Skee-Ball player, guys."
Cleo laughs at Inna's joke.
Inna looks at Cleo, "No, seriously. I'm a professional Skee-Ball player."
Patricia goes next, The Clam Chowders all cheer for her, "You can do this!"
"Go Patricia!"
"If you don't get it I kill you!"
Those and other motivational, or not so motivational phrases are heard.
Patricia rolls the ball and it falls in the ten point area, "Damn it!" she yells and heads to the door, "I give up!"
Meredith says, "Pat, you can do it! Try again!"
Patricia turns to her team, "Inna is a professional Skee-Ball player, I'll never beat her!" she storms out of the arcade room.
Inna giggles, "I was just joking, who the heck makes a living out of playing Skee-Ball?"
Chris announces, "With that, the Soaring Seagulls win immunity!" the winning team cheers.
"Clam Chowders," says Chris, "You know what to do, time to send someone packing. You are dismissed."
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "I have some ideas going on in my head... But I know in the end I will make the right decision," he grins.
It's roughly six PM and Inna is shown waiting at the deck. Foreman arrives wearing a sweatband and gym clothes.
"There you are, big guy!" says Inna excitedly, "I had aerobics planned for you, but I decided to change the schedule... jogging time!" she sprints away.
Foreman looks after her and yells, "Wait, girl!"
Inna returns to him, "What's the matter?" she asks.
"I..." starts Foreman, "I can't run."
Inna smiles and grabs his hand, "Of course you can, come with me!" she says cheerfully.
"No," says Foreman, "I literally can't."
Inna looks at him blankly, "Sorry, I'm not following."
"Just..." says Foreman, "Let's walk."
Inna nods and both start walking around the cruise ship instead of jogging.
Carlos, Lance, Mathew and Mallory are shown in the Clam Chowders girls cabin.
Lance asks, "Why are we in the girls cabin again?"
Mallory says, "Because unlike the boys cabin, it's empty. Except for her" she points to Anamaria snoring in a bed, "But she is like an inanimate object."
"Okay," says Carlos, "We need to focus."
"Of course we're voting for Patricia, right?" Asks Mathew.
"Maybe," says Carlos, "But as much as Patricia is useless, we have bigger threats than Miss Ragequit."
Lance asks, "So who will we vote for?"
Carlos says, "I don't know... Someone well-liked, someone popular."
"Not my Antonio!" yells Mallory defensively.
The three guys eye each other.
Carlos asks, "Mallory, could you do me a favor?"
"Yes sir," she says, saluting.
Carlos says, "Go tell Lizzie to vote for..." he thinks, "Patricia."
"Sure," says Mallory before walking away.
The three remaining guys eye each other and nod.
The Clam Chowders are shown at the elimination ceremony. Chris is holding a plate with nine marshmallows, "This is your first time at the elimination ceremony, but you probably already know what to do after all those seasons. As I call your name, you will receive a marshmallow, the one who doesn't receive one will be eliminated and taken to the Lifesaver of Losers, which will descend into the ocean. After that, just row back to land, you're in a dock after all. Anyway, marshmallows go to..."
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Carlos."
"Mallory."
"Louie."
"Meredith."
"Mathew."
"Lizzie."
"Lance."
"Patricia, Antonio and Anamaria," says Chris, "You are the bottom three, and the next marshmmalow goes to... Anamaria."
The lady gets her marshmallow and stuffs it on her bra.
"Patricia," says Chris, "You gave up in the middle of the challenge for no apparent reason."
Patricia whines, "Yeah, yeah, I'm a quitter, now everybody hates me."
Chris rolls his eyes, "And Antonio," he says, "I don't know exactly why you're in the bottom two. The last marshmallow goes to..."
"Patricia!" says Chris as he throws the marshmallow to the girl.
Patricia grabs it and smiles, "It looks like I'm not that hated after all," she says
"Antonio," says Chris, "I don't know what you did, but it's time for you to go."
"Oh well," says Antonio before heading to the Lifesaver of Losers, "This sucks."
Lizzie kneels down and screams, "No, Tony-pooooooooooooo!"
Chris turns to the camera, "Wow, that was an unexpected elimination... No, it wasn't, I already knew the results," he laughs, "How was Antonio eliminated? What challenges are waiting for our competitors? And will we finally leave this freaking dock? Find out next time, on S.S. Total Drama!"
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Listen up. First, I know the editors will put this confessional after Chris closes the episode just to make me look like a super-villain. Second, I had to get rid of Antonio before the merge, or else, all the girls would be on his side. Just look at Lizzie and Mallory, that's just pathetic. Now, the voting went smoothly, my bully friends threatened Louie to vote for Antonio, and I just had to give Anamaria a chicken wing... Piece of cake!" he chuckles.
Chapter 4 - Battle Of Breakfasts[]
The ship's deck is shown to the viewers. Instead of a smiling Chris, Chef is standing there with the usual frown on his face, "In the last episode of Total Drama, the people whose name I'm not paid to remember competed on an arcade, and an ugly fella was eliminated for some reason. What will happen today on Total Drama..." he pauses to remember the name of the season, "Cruise Ship!" he looks to the side, "Chris better give me a raise for this."
The competitors are shown exiting the elimination ceremony area, leaving Lizzie kneeling down on the floor.
Mallory approaches Lizzie and says, "Is everything okay?"
Lizzie turns around, "Get away from me you dirty nymphette!"
"You what?" asks Mallory, clueless.
Lizzie sighs, "Nevermind.," she puts her hand on Mallory's shoulder, "Aren't you even a little sad with Antonio leaving?"
"Kinda," says Mallory, "He was really cute, but there are other boys out there."
Lizzie says, "That's the problem, there are other guys out there for you," with emphasis on the 'for you'.
"Of course not," says Mallory sympathetically, "There is..." she tries to think of someone.
"See?" says Lizzie, "I'm too old for all those guys here. Well, there's Carlos, but he is married," she thinks for a moment, "And Foreman, but I don't want him to crush my bones," Lizzie shudders.
Mallory says, "You see, there is more to life than boys."
"I know, I'm not a boy crazed teenage girl," says Lizzie annoyed.
Mallory looks down, "I'm sorry, I was just trying to help. Let's go to bed, it's late."
Lizzie says "Yes, mom," she chuckles.
"Whatever you say," says Mallory as they walk to their cabin.
The boys side of the Soaring Seagulls cabin is shown. Ryan is the only one awake, he looks at a snoring Foreman, then at a snoring Dominic and puts pillow over his ears. Minutes later Xavier starts mumbling in his sleep, "Hail the box... The box is our leader... Mama, lass mich nicht...." Ryan looks around and leaves the room with a pillow and a blanket.
The Soaring Seagull's girls side of the cabin is shown, all of them are sleeping until a knock is heard on the door.
Lana wakes up and opens the door, only to see Ryan holding a pillow and a blanket.
"H-hello Lana," says Ryan, "Do you think, maybe... I could..." he starts scratching the back of his head, "Umm, s-sleep here?"
Lana stares at him before rubbing her eyes.
Ryan gasps, "Oh, sorry, did I just sound like a pervert there? That wasn't my intention, I just can't-"
"Of course you can," says Lana smiling.
Ryan jumps and says, "Thank you very much!"
Lana puts her finger to her lips, "Shhhh," she points to the sleeping girls.
Ryan lays on the floor and says, almost whispering, "Thank you very much."
It's already morning, and the Clam Chowder girls are all awake at their cabin, except Anamaria.
Lizzie chants as she stretches, "God morning everyone! Good morning everyone! I'm sure today is going to be a really good day-"
"We got it!" says Patricia annoyed. She smiles sweetly and says, "Good morning for you too."
Mallory is brushing her hair, "Good morning everyone!" she enthusiastically says.
Meredith says confused, "Gosh, what's so good about this morning?"
"Everything," says Lizzie, "A new day to come, a new challenge-"
"A new elimination ceremony," says Patricia.
Lizzie directs to Patricia, "Come on, don't be so pessimist, we will totally win today."
Patricia frowns, "I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist."
"Blah blah blah," says Meredith, "It's all the same thing, silly."
Patricia gasps, "I thought you were my friend!"
Meredith starts, "But I-"
She is interrupted by Louie abruptly opening the door, "Good morning girls!" he says excitedly, with a wide smile on his face.
Meredith waves and says, "Good morning, Louie."
The boy enters their bedroom without asking and proceeds to hug Meredith and kiss both of her cheeks, "Meredith, your hair smells great today!" he walks to Patricia and hugs the girl, "Wow, such a soft skin, your friends might envy you," he walks to Lizzie and rubs her hair, "What shampoo do you use, your hair looks great!" he finally gets to Mallory and hugs her tightly.
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "That guy is totally into me, but what can I do? He is a dork, and kinda really ugly," she thinks for a moment, "Whatever, he will forget me eventually."
Louie takes a deep breath and lets go of Mallory, "Oh Mallory, I loved your pajama, it's very..." he tries thinking of a complimenting word, "sexy."
Mallory gasps and slaps Louie across the face, "Get out of here!" she yells.
"Okay, bye," says Louie obliviously before leaving.
Patricia asks, "Weren't you a little harsh on the boy, Mallory?"
"Hmph, he asked for it," says Mallory.
Lizzie suggests, "Maybe he just couldn't find the right word."
"Eh, whatever," says Mallory.
Anamaria suddenly wakes up and asks, "Did anyone say chicken!?" the girls look at her, weirded out.
Terry is shown waking up at her cabin, she rubs her eyes and spots Ryan sleeping on the floor, "Oh gosh, someone broke into our cabin during our sleep!" she yells desperately, waking up her teammates.
Inna gets up, "I'll teach this creeper a lesson!" she says while kicking Ryan's face.
Ryan is screaming, getting his face kicked while the girls panic. Halle turns on the lights and looks at everyone, slightly concerned, "There, there, no need for all this violence, yo," she says.
Cleo says, "Of course there is, there is a creeper in our bedroom."
"Creeper?" asks Ryan.
"Yeah, he is no creeper, Silly Willy Walnuthead," says Halle.
Cleo raises an eyebrow, "Your vocabulary baffles me."
"I try," says Halle uninterestedly.
Inna looks at Ryan, "So, what are you doing here?" she asks.
"I had trouble sleeping in my cabin," says Ryan, "Too much snoring and sleep talking. So Lana let me sleep here."
The girls glare at Lana, "Aww, he didn't do anything wrong, did he?" asks Lana.
"No," says Halle, "But next time, at least tell us."
Terry says, "Yeah, Halle is right."
"I know, right?" says Halle with a smug expression.
Mallory is shown with Lizzie at the dining area, they seem to be having a conversation.
Lizzie grabs Mallory by her jacket and starts shaking her, "Do you understand Mal, I miss my sisters!"
"I know, Lizzie," says Mallory, "But there's nothing I can do... Wait, aren't they your cousins?"
Lizzie smiles, "They're like sisters to me," she says.
Tears start forming on Mallory's eyes, "I can be your sister, Liz," she says hugging her.
"Thank you Mal," says Lizzie. She blows her nose in a napkin and says, "You are awesome, girl. What can I do for you?"
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "This is one of those moments when the little devil and the little angel on my shoulders start arguing. I didn't know what to do, but I hope I did the right thing," she smiles sweetly.
"Yes, there is," says Mallory to Lizzie.
Lizzie smiles, "I'll be more than pleased to help my new sister," she says.
Mallory smirks and says, "Join my alliance."
Lizzie is shown in the confessional, "I don't like alliances, they're evil. But since Mallory is being such a good friend to me, why not? Nothing will go wrong... Right?" she smiles nervously.
A loudspeaker is shown as Chef's voice echoes through it, "Meet me at the deck bar now, the challenge has to be over before Chris is awake."
The contestants are shown at the deck with Chef. Besides them there are two small tiki bars.
Chef says, "Listen up, Chris is sick in his bed and you are in charge of making him the best breakfast you can. You have to prepare something for him to eat, and a beverage. Chris will judge your breakfast and the best one wins. I'm out, those bathrooms aren't cleaned on their own," he leaves the deck.
On the Clam Chowders bar, Mallory asks, "Any suggestions?"
Lizzie says, "I have experience in making oatmeal muffins, we can use some of it."
"As for the beverage," says Carlos, "I was thinking of some sort of tropical juice."
Meredith looks under a shelf, "I'm looking for some kind of tropical fruit," she gets a fruit from underneath it, "Oh, we have mango."
"That's perfect!" says Patricia, "Anything else we need?"
"Chicken!" says Anamaria.
Mallory says, "No, we can't use chicken in this recipe."
"Yes you can! I want chicken!" insists Anamaria.
Mathew says, "Of course, let's make a mango chicken juice," he winks at Mallory.
"Yeah, of course," says Mallory, "We need something different."
Mathew is shown in the confessional, "I hope Mallory understood that I just said that to shut Anamaria's mouth. She is not dumb enough to think that I wanted a mango chicken juice, is she?"
The Soaring Seagulls are shown in their bar.
Ryan suggests, "We could make an omelet, I'm sure Chris would like it."
Cleo says, "I don't have better ideas, so let's go with the omelet."
Xavier puts his box close to him and says, "We need ham in the omelet."
"I don't think this is a good idea," says Dominic.
Xavier glares at him, "Are you questioning the box?"
"Yes I am, problem?" says Dominic.
"Too bad the rest of the team agrees with the box," says Xavier monotonously. He glares at his team and asks, "Right?"
Many nodding heads are seen, as well as several 'of course' are heard from his team,.
"I thought so," says Xavier.
"Ham it is," says a visibly upset Dominic.
On the Clam Chowder's bar, Meredith and Patricia are sitting in stools while peeling mangoes, "What a fun job, right Pat?" asks the brunette.
Patricia sighs, "Sure."
"I was being sarcastic," says Meredith.
Patricia gasps, "You can be sarcastic? I thought this was a quality only for smart people."
Meredith looks confused at Patricia, "Thanks?"
"Sorry," says Patricia, "What kind of friend am I? Let's talk about things friends would talk about!"
"Like..." says Meredith waiting for an answer.
Patricia taps her chin until her eyes perk up, "Like plotting Carlos' painful demise!"
"Okay," says Meredith, "We will totally vote him out today."
Patricia sighs, "It's not that easy, Meredith. First we need enough people to vote for him."
"Like who?" asks Meredith.
Patricia says, "Well, Lance and Mathew think Carlos is cool, and Mallory is a fan of the douchebag."
Meredith frowns, "Watch your words, lady!"
"Okay," says Patricia, "There's Louie, Lizzie and that nutcase we call Anamara."
"Anamaria," Meredith points out.
"Whatever," says Patricia, "We need at least two of them on our side."
Meredith stops peeling the mango and pumps her fist, "Heck yeah!"
Patricia says, "That's right!" she pumps her fist and accidentally pokes Meredith's eye with a knife.
Meredith screams in pain while falling from the stool she was sitting on.
Patricia stands up and knees down next to Meredith, "Are you okay?" she says, worried.
The scene changes to the Soaring Seagulls.
Inna is shown slicing ham for the omelet, "Are you sure we should use ham in that omelet? What if Chris is Jewish?"
"What makes you think Chris is Jewish?" asks Terry.
"His name is McLain," says Inna, "Isn't everyone named McLain Jewish?"
Cleo raises an eyebrow, "First, where do you learn all this nonsense? Second, It's McLean, not MacLain, get your facts right."
"Sorry," says Inna, "I'm not a Total Drama superfan."
Cleo scoffs, "Neither am I," she shifts her eyes back and forth.
Halle steps into the group and says, "Hey, we still have to decide on a beverage."
Lana timidly raises her hand, "What about iced tea?"
"I suggest milkshake," says Terry.
"Hmm," says Halle, "I love me some milkshake."
Terry laughs, "I know, right? Who doesn't?"
Inna says, "Are you sure you want milkshake? It's so... Unhealthy."
Terry says, "Maybe we could change it," she looks at Halle, "What do you think, Halley dawggy dawg?" she says trying to sound cool.
"I think we should stick with the milkshake," says Halle.
Terry looks at Inna and says, "Sorry, I really think we should go with the milkshake."
"But you..." says Inna. She sighs, "Nevermind. Me and Foreman will prepare the milkshake." she leaves the area.
Halle rolls her eyes, "Because we totally need two people to make milkshake."
At the Clam Chowder's bar, Carlos, Lance and Mathew are waiting in front of an oven.
"Ahem," Lance clears his throat.
Mathew looks upwards, "Nice weather, huh?" he asks.
The three men exchange looks until all three break the silence at the same time, "Who are we voting off now?"
"You first," says Lance, pointing to Mathew.
"Ladies first," says Mathew bowing to Lance.
Lance asks, "What did you just call me!?"
"Boys, boys, boys," says Carlos, trying to calm them down.
Lance sings, "We like boys in ca-ars, boys boys boys, buy us drinks in ba-ars."
Mathew raises an eyebrow and asks, "What was that?"
"Come on," says Lance, "I'm not here to break all the stereotypes or any crap like that, I'm here for the million dollar prize."
Carlos interrupts the boys, "Oh look, the muffins are done."
"Errm," says Lance, "No, they aren't."
Carlos says, "Ding!" he puts a hand behind his ear and says with a smile, "Oh did you hear that? They are done!" Carlos opens the oven and gets the muffins, "Is the juice ready!?" he asks.
Meredith comes with a bandage on here eye. She is carrying a big glass of juice, "Yes sir!" she says smiling proudly.
At the Soaring Seagulls bar, Inna is standing in front of a blender, "Foreman, what is taking you so long!?" she asks.
Foreman's voice is heard off camera, "I can't find soy ice cream like you told me to!"
"Why not!?" asks Inna.
Foreman replies, "I don't think any sane person would buy soy ice cream, I will get this strawberry one, you better accept it!"
Inna sighs, "Whatever, I just think we should make something else for him to drink, milkshakes are so unhealthy."
Foreman returns with an ice cream box, "Health is so mainstream," he places the box net to a sink.
"Since when you are a hipster?" asks Inna.
"I'm not," says Foreman, "But my students say that all the time. It's quite fun, actually," he chuckles.
Inna's eyes widen, "Wow, you expressed happiness? I have to document that."
"Shut up," says Foreman as he puts ice cream balls in the blender.
Inna fills the blender with milk, closes it and turns it on. When it's done, she fills a glass with milkshake and puts a straw in it.
"My work here is done," says Foreman before leaving.
Inna suspiciously shifts her eyes. The blonde smiles wide as she spills all the milkshake down the sink, "Now, for the real beverage our sick Chris needs..." she pulls some vegetables from the cupboard and heads to the fridge.
The contestants and Chef are shown together at the deck, Foreman and Carlos are carrying covered trays.
Chef says, "Chris might be waking up right now, make sure to greet him properly upon arriving at his cabin."
Lance says, "It's just Chris, not Queen Elizabeth."
"Whatever," says Chef, "You can follow me to Chris' cabin, also known as The Ultimate Luxury King Cabin."
"Modest," says Cleo.
Chef enters the hallway, "Follow me!" he commands.
The scene cuts to Chef opening a huge purple and golden door, "Chris, here is your breakfast!"
An ill-looking Chris, who is lying on a luxurious bed, coughs before spitting in a bucket on the floor.
Mathew smiles and gives two thumbs-up, "Looking good."
Chris coughs and says, "Let's get this over with," he coughs again, "I want to sleep."
Chef says, "First, we have the Clam Chowder's meal."
Carlos approaches Chris and takes the cover off the tray, "Oatmeal muffins and mango juice," he says.
Chris takes a bit of a muffin, he chews for some seconds and says, "A bit undercooked, but good."
Lizzie is shown in the confessional, "Woooooohoooooo!" she cheers, "My muffins are the best of the best! Too bad some brat didn't let them in the oven for enough time."
Chris takes a sip from the mango juice and says, "Really nice. Great job, Chowders! Let's see if the Seagulls can beat that."
Foreman walks towards Chris and removes the cover from his tray, a ham omelet is sitting there next to a dark purple liquid in a glass. Foreman furrows his eyebrows.
Foreman is shown in the confessional, "What the heck did you do, Inna?"
The Soaring Seagulls all gasp, except Inna and Xavier. Terry turns to Inna and asks, "Err, Inna... What exactly is that?"
"Oh, it's a homemade recipe," says Inna, "It's been in my family's blood for years."
Inna is shown in the confessional, "So, you might be wondering what kind of liquid delicacy is that," the blonde says excitedly, "It's a family recipe. My mother and grandma love it, and I guess my little sister enjoys it too, we even stopped using the funnel some months ago!" Inna holds her hands together, "It consists of beet, radish and raw cow liver! Oh, and a tiny bit of peppermint! Hmmm, delicious," she licks her lips.
Chris takes a bit of the omelet, "It's pretty good, I especially love the ham."
"I told you," says Xavier monotonously.
Chris says, "Now to the juice, it looks quite beautiful. Let's see if it tastes as good."
As Chris' lips reach the straw, all members of the Soaring Seagulls except Inna and Xavier close their eyes and flinch slightly.
Chris finally takes a sip, his eyes get wide and his expression is distorted in horror, "This... Is... Delicious!"
The Soaring Seagull's members' mouths open slightly, except Inna's, who smiles proud of herself, and Xavier, who doesn't express emotions too often.
"It tastes like Heaven!" says Chris as he chugs the shake down his throat. When the host finishes, he announces, "The Soaring Seagulls win by far! I want this recipe later, by the way."
The winning team cheers as the losers sadly walk away from the cabin.
Meredith and Patricia are shown talking in their cabin as Anamaria sleeps.
"So," says Meredith, "You mean that is our only option?" she points to Anamaria.
Anamaria mumbles in her sleep, "The pickle goes in the top drawer...."
Patricia sighs, "Unfortunately, yes. I'll wake her up to discuss our plan," she pokes the sleeping Anamaria.
The eccentric lady wakes up, "What do you want?" she asks.
Patricia says uncomfortably, "I was thinking, maybe you could vote with me and my friend here?" she points to Meredith, who waves with a goofy smile.
"Maybe," says Anamaria, "Yes, yes... I will."
"But listen," says Patricia, "This alliance is a secret, you cannot tell anyone, okay?"
Anamaria says, "I got it, you can count on me! Who will we vote for?"
"Carlos," says Patricia with a smirk.
Anamaria says, "Okay, okay, I don't care about him anyway."
"Thank you very much!" says Patricia, "Meredith, thank her!"
Meredith hugs Anamaria, "Thanks buddy," she says.
Meredith is shown in the confessional, "Anamaria smells funny, I wonder what kind of cologne she uses."
Carlos, Mathew and Lance are sitting on a table at the dining area when Mallory arrives with Lizzie, "Guess what I got for you guys?" asks Mallory.
"No idea," says Mathew.
Mallory gestures towards Lizzie, "A brand new alliance member!" she says.
Carlos offers a fake smile, "Thank you, Mallory, we were really needing one more member."
"Yay!" cheers Mallory, "Did you hear that Liz? They accepted you!"
"Wooooohooooo!" cheers Lizzie, causing the boys to cringe.
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "I'm starting to question why I recruited Mallory, we did not need one more new member. Especially that screaming trainwreck she calls Lizzie. I guess I will have to do something about it."
"Welcome to our alliance, Lizzie," says Carlos, "As your first assignment, you have to get a glass of lemonade for us."
Lizzie says, "Okay, three glasses of lemonade coming!" she dashes out of the area.
Mallory yells, "Get one for me too!" she turns to the boys and says, "You don't need to thank me."
"Thank you?" says Lance, "We don't need that... Thing on our alliance!"
"I'm just trying to help," says Mallory, pouting.
"Okay," says Carlos, "We can deal with that issue later. Now we have to-"
Anamaria arrives at the area asking, "Do you have chicken!?"
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Hello, free vote."
"Yes, I do," says Carlos, "But only if you vote with me."
Anamaria frowns and says, "Sorry, I can't. I already have an alliance who plans to vote you out."
Carlos' eyes widen, "Wait, what? Who?"
Anamaria says, "It's a secret, I can't tell you about this alliance."
Carlos heads to the kitchen and returns with a frozen chicken breast, "Here is your chicken, have fun."
Anamaria hugs the chicken breast and runs away yelling, "Chicken!"
Lizzie returns with four glasses of lemonade, "Here they are, Carlos," each member of the alliance gets one glass.
Carlos takes a sip of his lemonade and says, "So, you all might know who to vote for now."
The alliance members nod, except for a clueless Lizzie.
The Clam Chowders are shown at the elimination ceremony. Chris is holding a plate with eight marshmallows, "Hello, Clam Chowders," he says before coughing, "Here I have eight marshmallows for nine of you, and you already know how this works. The marshmallows go to...
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Patricia."
"Louie."
"Mathew."
"Meredith."
"Lance."
"Mallory."
Chris says, "Carlos, Anamaria, Lizzie..."
Carlos is shown with a smug smile, Anamaria is looking upwards, not caring about what's happening, and Lizzie is chewing her fingernails.
"Carlos," says Chris, "Here is your marshmallow!"
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Damn it!"
Carlos grabs the marshmallow and starts chewing it.
"Anamaria and Lizzie," says Chris, "One of you will be the first girl voted out from S.S. Total Drama."
Chris says, "The last marshmallow goes to..."
"Lizzie." says Chris.
"I didn't need this anyway!" screams Lizzie before a marshmallow hits her in the forehead and falls to the floor.
"Wait," says Lizzie, "I get to stay?" Chris nods.
"Woooooohoooooo!" cheers Lizzie. She shifts to a sad tone, "Sorry Anamaria," she says, patting her teammate in the back.
Anamaria stays on her folding chair.
"Anamaria," says Chris, "It's time for you to go."
"Why didn't you say this earlier!" yells a grumpy Anamaria before heading to the Lifesaver of Losers.
Chris turns to the camera, "That's it for today's episode! Tune in for more alliance drama, and possibly a llama in S.S. Total Drama!"
"Chicken!" a scream is heard from far in the ocean.
Chapter 5 - Fifth Grade Feelings[]
Chris is shown on the deck as several repairmen walk around, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama, Chef took over the role of host while ours truly was having some..." he stops to think, "Issues. I don't know exactly what happened until the teams arrived with my breakfast. The food was better than I expected and the Soaring Seagulls won thanks to Inna's delicious purple shake," Chris taps his chin, "I still need the recipe for that. But drinks aside, what will happen today on S.S. Total Drama!"
The Soaring Seagulls girls' side of the cabin is shown, as Halle wakes up due to loud banging noises, "What kind of joke is that?" asks Halle, "Not cool, bro."
All the other girls wake up too. "I can tell," says Terry, "I spent the whole night awake."
Halle asks, "What did you do the whole night?"
"I was writing," says Terry, "It's my new novel." Lana's eyes widen, "Wow, awesome! Can't wait to read it."
Terry says, "You will have to wait quite a bit," she laughs, "I'm still on the second chapter."
"Seems cool," says Halle.
Terry says, "Do you want to help me with it?"
"Sure," says Halle nonchalantly.
Terry smiles wide, "That's awesome! Have I mentioned you are awesome, Halley?"
"I think so," says Halle, "But it's never enough."
"Oh, Halley, you are awesome," says Terry as she and Halle leave the cabin with the former's notebook.
Lana stares at the door with her mouth slightly open. She lays back into her bed, visibly upset.
Cleo says, "Yeah, looks like it's just me and you, Inna," she looks around, "Inna? Where did you go, girl?"
Inna is shown in the deck, in a wooden floor near the hot tub. Foreman soon arrives.
"It's about time," says Inna, "You are three minutes late."
Foreman gives Inna a death stare.
"Relax," says the blonde, "I was just kidding."
Foreman asks grumpily, "What's today's exercise, my little friend?"
Inna smiles wide, "Go get your sweatband because it's aerobics day!" she says excitedly.
Foreman takes a sweatband from his pocket and puts it on, "I am ready," he says
"Okay," says Inna, "We will start with jumping jacks. Do it like me," Inna starts performing jumping jacks with excellence.
Foreman says, "Hmm, are you sure it's safe?"
"Of course it's safe," says Inna, "What's the worst thing that could happen?"
Foreman performs one jumping jack and breaks through the wooden floor upon touching the ground. With his head sticking from the hole, the burly man gives Inna another death glare.
"Wait just a minute, I will get some help!" Inna says before sprinting away. Foreman sighs, stuck in the hole.
The scene cuts to Chris in the dock next to a huge crane driven by an intern, the crane lifts Foreman from the hole and places him on the floor.
"Thank you very much," says Inna. She turns to Foreman and smiles, "See, everything went just fine."
"Sure," says Foreman.
Chris says, "Try not to do this when we leave the docks, I can't get a crane in the middle of the ocean."
"Yes sir!" says Inna. Foreman sighs again.
The Clam Chowder girls are at the ship's hot tub.
Meredith is splashing water at a nonchalant Patricia, "I'm bored," says the blonde.
"Oooh," says Mallory, "Let's rank boys!"
Lizzie says, "Nah, I'm too old for that."
"Aww, Liz," says Mallory, "Where is your young and free spirit?"
Lizzie says, "I can be young and free, but I am certainly not a creep to rank boys who could be my grandsons."
"Makes sense," says Mallory, "You can always be on the sidelines listening to the youth's opinion."
Lizzie is shown in the confessional, "Youth's opinion? Who does she think she is?" she stops and thinks for a moment, "Oh yeah, she is my new sister, I can forgive the girl."
Mallory says, "Louie is on the bottom, he scares me."
"Agreed," says Patricia
Meredith says, "Shouldn't Lance be at the bottom? He is unreachable." Mallory agrees.
"What do you mean by that?" asks Patricia.
Mallory says, "Well, let's say he is not into girls."
"And just because of that he will be less handsome?" asks Patricia, clearly offended.
"No," says Mallory, "By any means. We just see no reason to rank him since we will never get him," she laughs.
Patricia folds her arms, "Okay, fair enough."
"Wait," says Meredith, "Carlos shouldn't be in the list either, he is too old for us."
"Besides, we don't want to be mauled by Ember Jay Birch when we are out of here," adds Mallory.
Patricia says, "Plus, just the thought of kissing that contemptible moron makes me want to throw up my breakfast." The girls look at Patricia with wide eyes.
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "I have this feeling Patricia doesn't like Carlos... maybe it's just me," she shrugs.
Lizzie says, "But that leaves you to rank just Mathew and Louie."
"True," says Meredith, "But we can always rank the guys from the other team too!"
Mallory says while filling her nails, "Fat, fat, creepy..." she thinks for a moment, "That other one is kinda cute."
"Wow," says Patricia, "The guys this season really suck."
Mallory raises a finger, "Especially Lan-"
"No jokes about that!" interrupts Patricia.
The Soaring Seagull men are shown in their cabin, except for Foreman.
Dominic leans towards Xavier and says, "Sooo... What's there in that box, buddy?"
"It's none of your business," says Xavier, monotonously.
Dominic folds his arms and looks to the side, "I didn't want to know anyway!"
"Sure," says Xavier, as calmly as ever.
Dominic is shown in the confessional, "I need to know what's in that box, I need to!" yells Dominic, "Maybe it's an incriminating evidence, maybe it's the Spectre Flute," his eyes widen, "It can even be the Supra Force Metal!"
Carlos,Lance, and Mathew are shown in their cabin.
"So," says Carlos, "I already know-"
He is interrupted by Chris on the loudspeaker, "Meet me at the deck for your next challenge... I guess... Yeah, that's it, I'm waiting!"
"What?" says Lance, "He didn't even let us finish our obligatory alliance discussion!"
The competitors stand besides Chris on the deck, as many interns are seen leaving the ship with tools and other peculiar objects.
Chris says, "As you can see, the interns finished working on the engine, and the ship is ready to sail!."
The cruise ship starts leaving the docks.
"It's about time," says Lance.
And we now can travel around the world to compete in different, and hopefully more interesting challenges! But for now," says Chris, "You will have to compete in a super exciting challenge I came up with..."
Mathew asks, "Hit the host with a baseball bat?"
Chris glares at him, "No. You will compete in truth or dare!"
"Truth or dare?" says Cleo, "We're not in fifth grade anymore."
Patricia says, "Yeah, and how will you know if the person is telling the truth for sure?"
"Don't worry," says Chris, "I've got lie detectors."
Patricia raises an eyebrow, "And since when do those exist?" she says, "I mean, if they existed, do you think people would be using them for a reality show instead of using them to arrest criminals?"
"Don't question the Total Drama logic!" yells Chris, "Just accept the fact and move on," he says while getting some helmets, each attached to a small machine.
The host continues, "You will sit in a big circle and I will spin the bottle. The contestant who the bottle land on will chose between truth or dare. If he choses truth, his truthfulness will be confirmed by the lie detector. In case of a lie, the team automatically loses. Is he choses dare, the opposing team will have to think of a dare, and I will deem this dare as acceptable or not."
Patricia says, "Knowing Chris, he will deem performing a synchronized swim act with fresh water sharks as valid."
"I see you know me well, dear lady," says Chris, "But as I was saying, if you don't perform the task, your team automatically loses the challenge. Are you ready?"
The teams sit in a circle with a bottle in the middle, and Chris soon spins the bottle. It stops on Carlos, "Carlos, truth or dare?" asks Chris.
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Of course I will chose dare, I will not risk exposing my alliance. I just hope my allies are smart enough to do the same."
"Dare," says Carlos, confidently.
The Soaring Seagulls huddle until Ryan steps out of it, "I dare Carlos to eat a balut."
Carlos scoffs, "I already did that on Outlaster, no big deal."
Chris says, "Ryan, how do you expect me to have a fertilized duck embryo on my cruise ship?" he laughs, "Who am I kidding? Chef has all kinds of gross foods with him!"
Ryan says, "Hey, don't insult the balut, it's delicious!"
"Suuure," Says Chris.
Chef arrives with an egg and hands it to Chris. The host hands it to Carlos and says, "Bon appétit."
Carlos cracks the egg open and eats the contents without hesitation as his team, except Patricia, cheer for him.
The scene shows the bottle spinning until it lands on Lance. Chris says, "Looks like the Clam Chowders are going again. Lance, truth or dare?"
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "If he is smart enough, he will chose dare."
"Truth," says Lance. Carlos brings his hand to his forehead.
The Soaring Seagulls huddle again, and Cleo steps out of it.
Carlos is shown in the confessional once again, "That's it, we are screwed."
Cleo says, "Lance..." she turns to her team, "Come on, that question is just stupid, are you sure I should be the one to ask?"
Lance says, "Shout it!"
"Are you really gay or is this part of an ingenious strategy?" asks Cleo, a little embarrassed.
The question makes Carlos sighs in relief.
Lance says, "I can be smart, girl, but I'm not that smart. No, it's not a strategy," the lie detector approves his answer.
The scene cuts to the bottle spinning once again, and it lands on Xavier. The boy smirks and says, "Truth."
"Yes!" cheer the Clam Chowders plus Dominic.
The Soaring Seagulls glare at Dominic. The nerd answers, "What? I can't be the only one who wants to know."
"Okay, we don't even need to huddle for that one, " says Lance, "Xavier, what is in your box?"
The boy smirks and says monotonously, "Something that means a lot to me."
"Wait, that can't be fair!" protests Mathew. The lie detector approves the answer.
Chris says, "Well, I guess it is."
Mallory starts, "But-"
"Deal with it!" barks Chris.
The scene cuts to Chris spinning the bottle, and it lands on Halle.
"Oh no!" shouts Terry.
Lana hugs Terry to comfort her, but the former has a hint of a smirk on her face.
Halle says, "I chose dare. I can take anything you throw at me!"
Lana appears in the confessional, looking disappointed, "I wish I had a heavy object at that moment."
After huddling, Mallory steps out of the group and says, "We dare you to strip down to your underwear in front of everyone and mimic a monkey while covered in kitchen oil."
Cleo says, "Ugh! I've already seen enough of Halle."
Halle laughs at Mallory, "That's easy. You should know me better, princess."
Chris says, "Okay, but we have to take all the men out of sight, I don't want another legal action," Chef arrives at the deck, drops a gallon of kitchen oil and a banana, and leaves.
Chris blindfolds himself and says, "Start!"
Halle takes her clothes off and starts rubbing herself with kitchen oil.
Cleo covers her eyes and says, "I did not come here to see that."
"Eww," says Meredith, "This is totally disgusting, right Pat?" she nudges Patricia. The blonde fakes gagging.
Inna rushes towards the cameraman to block the camera and says, "Stop filming that, it's disgusting!" several monkey noises are heard from behind her.
The cameraman's voice is heard from off screen, "Don't worry, it will be censored."
Inna yells, "Chris, make that person stop filming!"
"No way," the blindfolded Chris says, "I can already see the ratings."
Inna says, "Don't be silly, you are blindfolded."
A loud whistle-like sound is heard, causing Inna to stop blocking the camera.
"Halle did it, she completed the challenge," says Chris, "Let's spin the bottle once again and hope someone else loses their dignity!" the host spins the bottle.
Halle says, "Just for your information, my dignity is completely fine."
The bottle stops on Xavier again, "Ooh,' says Chris, "Looks like Xavier is out of luck."
"Truth," says Xavier.
Chris smirks, "Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you all the twist. If the bottle lands on the same person twice, that person has to chose the option they did not chose the first time."
Xavier remains silent.
"Oh, great!" says Halle, "I think you broke him."
"So, Clam Chowders," says Chris, "What's the dare you will challenge Xavier with?"
Carlos says, "That one is obvious. Xavier, we dare you to show us what is inside your box."
"Yeah!" says Dominic, causing his team to glare at him once again.
Xavier opens a sinister smile and tightly clings to the box, "Never!"
Chris announces, "That means that the Soaring-"
The host is interrupted by a screaming Dominic who rushes towards Xavier, the nerd tackles the sinister boy to the ground and the box falls with him, "Someone, get my box before him!" Yells Xavier on the ground.
Lana runs and gets the box from the ground before Dominic can do so. The overweight man gets up freeing Xavier, as the latter gets the box from Lana and says, "Thank you."
"It's not over!" screams Dominic while rushing once again towards Xavier. This time, the tackle makes the boy's box fly from his hands. We can only have a glimpse of its purple contents before it falls into the ocean.
A tear is seen running down Xavier's face as he says while shaking, "How could you bastard dare to touch my box? Now it's gone! Futsch!" the small-framed boy takes a knife from somewhere under his garments and runs away.
The competitors and Chris stare at the scene wide-eyed until Halle breaks the silence, "What are you waiting for? Let's follow him!" everyone follows Halle's orders.
Lana is shown in the confessional, "For the record, I followed them because I was worried about Xavier, not because Halle told me to do so."
The group arrives at the side of the ship, where the elimination ceremony takes place.
Xavier is standing in a lifesaver boat with his knife, he cuts the ropes that support the small boat and screams loudly while falling to the ocean, "You will regret once you feel the wrath of the ancestral spirits!"
Terry's eye widen as she says, "Did he say..." she faints, only to be caugh in Halle's arms.
"Whoa," says Ryan, "Great move right there!"
The competitors start applauding Halle for catching Terry, while Lana just rolls her eyes to mask her sadness.
Chris announces, "Despite losing one member due to this evening's incident, the Soaring Seagulls still lost the challenge and will have to attend to the elimination ceremony tonight. McLean out!"
The host mumbles to himself while walking away, "I hope this doesn't leave me with another lawsuit."
Cleo glares at Dominic, "Guess whose fault is it?"
"Aww, seriously?" asks Dominic.
The Soaring Seagull girls are shown in their cabin trying to bring Terry to.
Lana lightly slaps Terry's face, "Hey Terry, wake up, dear."
Lana is shown in the confessional, "What if I can bring Terry to? I will be known as the girl who brought VelvetCupcakes to all around MysteryINC.com! Eeeeeeee!" she squeals.
Inna throws cold water at Terry's face, to no use, "Darn!" says the blonde;
Halle says, "Here, let me try," she lightly slaps Terry's face only for her to come to.
"Terry!" cheer the girls at the same time.
"What happened?" asks a clueless Terry.
Halle says, "I brought you to, no need to thank me."
"Oh, okay," says Terry, "But why did I pass out in first place?"
Lana says, "Oh, you passed out when Xavier said something about feeling the wrath of the ancestral spirits," Terry faints again, resulting in the girls glaring at Lana.
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Oh no. Now I will be known as the girl who made VelvetCupcakes faint all around MysteryINC.com," she starts crying.
The Soaring Seagulls are shown at the elimination ceremony, and Terry is back on her feet. Chris is holding a plate with seven marshmallows, "Hello, Soaring Seagulls," he says, "What a nice afternoon for us, I'm sure you will love losing two members in one day. Here I have seven marshmallows for eight of you, and you already know how this works. The marshmallows go to..."
"Ryan."
"Halle."
"Cleo."
"Inna."
"Foreman."
"Lana."
Chris says, "I have one marshmallow on my plate. Dominic, you pretty much cause all the disaster today."
"Haters gonna hate," says Dominic.
"Terry," says Chris, "You always faint upon the mention of the ancestral spirits."
Terry faints on her folding chair, causing both Halle and Lana to get up and fan her with hand fans.
Chris says, "The last marshmallow goes to..."
"Terry." says Chris before throwing a marshmallow at the unconscious girl.
"Looks like I lost," says Dominic.
Cleo says, "Yeah, it took long enough. Now get out!"
Dominic walks to the Lifesaver of Losers and says, "I might have been eliminated, but you all just lost The Game!"
"Grow up," says Halle.
"Get a life," says Cleo.
Dominic blows a kiss, "I know you love me," the lifesaver descends into the ocean.
Chris turns to the camera, "Well, that was a long day, but we will manage to edit it all in just forty five minutes," he says, "What country will we visit first? Will the cruise ship be able to get there without breaking? And was Xavier's threat true, or just a bunch of nonsense? Find out next time, on S.S. Total Drama!"
Chapter 6 - Almost a First Destination[]
Chris is shown standing in a gorgeous, yet crowded beach, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama, we had a classic truth or dare challenge. Halle lost her dignity, Xavier lost his sanity, and the Soaring Seagulls lost The Game, thanks to Dominic. Xavier left the competition in a peculiar way after he lost his precious box, and Dominic was-"
An overweight middle-aged lady who is laying on the beach interrupts Chris by screaming in a foreign language, "Cala a boca! Eu tô tentando aproveitar minhas férias!"
Chris says, "I'm sorry ma'am, I don't speak Spanish," he shifts his eyes and clears his throat, "Dominic was voted off thanks to his curiosity regarding Xavier's box's contents, which led to Xavier quitting the competition. Who will be elimi-"
The overweight lady throws a chicken wing at Chris' face and says with a strong accent, "Shut up!"
Chris whispers, "Who will be eliminated next, on S.S. Total Drama?"
The Clam Chowder girls are shown waking up in their cabin.
"Good morning everyone! Good morning everyone!" sings Lizzie.
Patricia rolls her eyes, "I think we already had that conversation."
Meredith says, "Patricia, be happy! We won yesterday and I'm sure our day will be perfect today."
As if on cue, Louie opens the door of their cabin and is about to hug Mallory.
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?"
Louie hugs her and says, "Oh, Mallory, you are so pretty, you are incredible, you are so freaking awesome!"
"Thanks," says Mallory blushing.
Patricia says, "Well, at least he didn't call you sexy this time," she laughs.
"Don't remind me," says Mallory.
Louie hugs Mallory again, "No problem, my bunnycake," he lets go of her and leaves, "Bye lovies!" he says.
"Bye Louie," say the girls at the same time.
"Creep," says Mallory.
"Weirdo," says Patricia.
Meredith says, "Aww, I think he is kind of cute, like a kitten. A kitten who doesn't-" a loud noise, similar to one when ships are departing, interrupts Meredith.
"What was that?" asks Lizzie, "Did we arrive?"
Chris' voice is heard on the loudspeaker, "We have arrived at our first destination, unfortunately we are having some issues."
"Chris always has issues," says Patricia rolling her eyes.
The Soaring Seagulls are shown on a table at the dining area.
"I wonder what is our first destination," says Lana.
Halle says, "If you are that curious, just go to the deck and check if you recognize the location."
"True," says Lana, "But I'm not going to leave the table just for that, I can wait."
"I can go for you," says Ryan with a smile.
Lana smiles too, "Really? I would love to! But... Your food will get cold."
"Don't worry," says Ryan, "I'm eating salad, I don't mind if it's cold," the young man gets up and heads to the deck.
Inna looks at Foreman's plate and notices some pasta, "Hey Foreman!" she screams, causing some people on the table to jump.
Foreman says while looking at his plate, "What?"
"Shouldn't you be eating salad too?" says Inna, "Like we had decided?"
Foreman looks up from his plate and says, "This is pasta salad."
Inna stares at him for some seconds and says, "Touché."
Inna appears in the confessional, "I should have been more specific... Eh, I only have myself to blame," she sighs.
Ryan returns to the dining area and sits at the table, "I guess we are at somewhere tropical, Lana."
"Darn," says Lana, "I hate heat, I wanted to go somewhere cold. Thank you anyway, Ryan."
Ryan smiles and says, "You're welcome."
"Hey, Ryan," says Cleo. Ryan turns to the redhead, "Get me some mustard, please?" she asks.
Ryan smiles and says, "Of course, buddy," he gets up and heads to the kitchen to get mustard.
Cleo chuckles, "So polite, yet so gullible. That guy has a good heart," she says.
"I gotta give him that," mumbles Foreman.
Halle says, "Eh, my boyfriend Terrence is better."
Terry says, "You have a boyfriend? Wow, that guy must be so lucky."
"He is," says Halle, "We are one of those gaming couples, you know?"
Cleo looks interested, "Oh, so you are into games?"
Halle says, "Yeah, we have a video game. I miss our Skyrim nights together."
"Oh my gosh, seriously?" says Cleo, surprised, "You're awsomer than awesome! I wish my boyfriend was into video games like yours. He is just a big book nerd..." she looks to the camera, "No offense, sweetie."
Lana is shown in the confessional, baffled, "I can't believe it. Every time she proves to be better and better," she cries a little, "I have no chance... Absolutely no chance."
The contestants are all shown on deck with Chris, "We are about to leave our cruise ship for the first time, in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil."
Meredith says, "Ooh, I watched a movie about that city once. Do you know that they have monkeys who rob people on the streets?"
"Forget the monkeys," says Mallory, "There are real people who rob others on the street. Chris, take me to a first world country!"
Chris says, "Too bad, princess, we are already at the harbor," everyone leaves the cruise ship and arrive at the harbor, which is quite crowded.
Chris directs to the contestants, "We have a bus that will take you to your first challenge, on-" the host's cellphone rings, interrupting him.
"Hello," says Chris on the phone, "What!? No problem, I did worse things in past seasons... What do you mean safety? No one will stop me from... Wait, twenty thousand? In cash? Deal!"
The host directs to the contestants again, "I'm sorry to tell you, but-"
"We have been eliminated from the race?" says Patricia with a smirk.
"What? That doesn't even make sense," says Chris, "I'm sorry to tell you that the challenge in Rio is canceled. Apparently, a group of criminals escaped from prison and are hiding somewhere near the harbor."
Lance says, "Isn't Rio the author's hometown? I thought he would portray it positively."
A young brunette dressed in purple clothes says, "Hey! I'm the only one who can break the fourth wall here!"
"No one cares," Mathew scoffs.
"Rude!" she replies before turning her back and leaving.
Chris says, "As I was saying, the challenge is canceled and you all should head back to the cruise ship. We will discuss things there later."
Carlos, Mathew and Lance are shown in the Clam Chowder's boys cabin.
"I'm glad the challenge was cancelled," says Lance, "We almost didn't have our strategical discussion twice in a row."
Carlos says, "We need Mallory, she needs to know we are cutting her sister's head off."
"Good," says Mathew, "I couldn't stand that yelling creature."
Carlos says, "Yeah, that big-mouthed granny has to go, she is just the kind who would spill the beans."
At that moment, Mallory and Lizzie enter the cabin, "Hello, lovies!" says Lizzie.
"Hello, girls," says Carlos, "We were discussing alliance matters."
"Oooooh," says Lizzie, "Who will we vote out next?"
Mathew says, "Well, actually-"
"We haven't decided!" says Carlos, "It's a very tough decision."
Lance says, "Yeah, our options are three stupid people;"
"I say we should vote Louie," suggests Mallory, "He's creepy."
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "I would vote for Louie, but he seems just the kind of guy who could be easily convinced to do things... He might be useful later."
Carlos says, "I don't know, Mallory. We should vote strategically, not the people we have personal issues with."
"What about Patricia?" suggests Lizzie.
"Who?" asks a clueless Carlos.
Mathew says. "Blonde chick in grey sweater. Quit that challenge..."
"Oh!" says Carlos, "I forgot she existed," he laughs.
Lizzie says, "There is Meredith. She isn't the brightest bulb."
Lance says, "But that makes her not a-"
"Okay," interrupts Carlos, "We will vote for her. Goodbye ladies!" the girls leave the cabin.
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Pfft, do you really think we will vote for Meredith? Lizzie will be gone today, but Mallory can't find that out at any costs."
Meredith and Patricia are shown in their cabin.
Meredith says, "So, who will we vote next?"
"And I thought I was the pessimist," says Patricia, "We haven't lost the challenge... Yet."
"See?" says Meredith, "Pessimist."
"Whatever," says Patricia, "But it's obvious it's Carlos. Who else is as disgusting, obnoxious, and-"
Chris' voice on the loudspeaker interrupts Patricia, "Meet me at the deck for the next challenge! Preferably fast, I don't have all day."
The contestants are shown on the deck with Chris, besides him there are two large crates.
The host says, "Welcome to today's challenge. Inside those crates you will find all kinds of fabric and other accessories. Your challenge is to create costumes for a small carnival parade, obviously without floats, because they don't fit on the cruise ship. Each parade will have a theme, and the team with the best parade wins immunity. Oh, and one member of each team will be the announcer, who will tell me the details behind the costumes. You can start now!"
Foreman and Ryan start opening their crate, "Want some help there?" asks Ryan.
"No thanks," says Foreman. He punches a hole through the crate and rips it open as Ryan stares with wide eyes.
On the Clam Chowders, the guys are having trouble with opening the crate, "Ugh, why don't they give us crowbars?" asks Lance.
Carlos says, "You can let us deal with the physical part, we will leave the clothes designing part for you."
"What do you mean by that?!" asks Lance.
Mathew gets in front of Lance, "Come on, he didn't mean it," he says.
Lance sighs, "Okay, but next time I'll go with violence."
"Do what you want," says Mathew before joining Carlos to help him open the crate.
The Soaring Seagulls are deciding their theme.
"What can we do?" asks Terry.
Lana smiles, 'I have a great idea," she says, "Our theme should be mystery novels!"
Cleo rolls here eyes, "Wow, didn't see that coming."
"I know right?" says Inna cluelessly.
Terry says, "Well, I like the theme, it's just my area."
"So we can work together!" say Halle and Lana at the same time.
Terry smiles and says, "You both can work with me, let's go decide the costumes while the other people create them."
The Clam Chowders are shown thinking of a theme for their parade.
Carlos says, "So, any ideas? I can't think of anything."
Mallory says, "I can't think either, Carlos..." she stares at him for a moment, "I got it! Let's do an Outlaster themed parade!"
"I will make the costumes," says Lizzie, "You can count on me when it comes to arts and crafts!"
Carlos says, "Okay, but first we have to decide who is going to be who."
"I'm Sundra Days-Twigz!" says Patricia.
Lance points to Louie, "He can be Felipe Shippard." he says.
Louie replies, "Says Dalton Crumble wannabe."
"Wannabe?" says Lance, "I am a hundred percent original, but I can see you share the man boobs with him!"
Louie is about to reply, but his eyes start tearing up and he runs away crying.
Lance says, "That was his reaction? I can't wait to see how he will react when he finds out what he will have to wear," he laughs.
On the Soaring Seagulls, Lana, Terry and Halle are deciding the costumes.
Lana says, "Terry, you should definitely be be Agatha Christie!"
"Why, thank you," says Terry, flattered, "What do you think, Halle?"
"Totally, yo," says Halle.
Terry says, "I know which role would fit you guys, Halle can be Sherlock Holmes and Lana will be Watson!"
"Great idea," says Halle, "All his badassness fits me!"
Lana is shown in the confessional with a fake moustache and formal clothes, "Of course I had to be the butt-kisser and Halle had to be the oh-so-awesome Sherlock Holmes. But I will still admire Terry and her incredible work no matter what," her eye twitches.
On the Clam Chowders, Lance is shown sewing poorly next to Lizzie, "I can't believe Carlos made me do that, and those morons agreed with him!" he complains.
Lizzie turns to him, "You just called me a moron."
"Oopsies," says Lance, "Well, don't think you aren't," Lizzie ignores him.
Lance calls his team's attention, "Okay, Chowders, let me see if I got this straight!"
Louie giggles and says, "Straight."
"Oh, shut up watermelon boy!" Lance says pointing to Louie's slightly oversized buttocks, "Okay, let me get things straight! Mathew, Mallory, Lizzie and Meredith still need clothes, right?"
Patricia says, "Yeah, and you already did mine, yours and Louie's?"
"Sure, I'll sew the others," he joins Lizzie in the sewing machine and tosses a bunch of fabric on her, "Here, have fun," he leans on his chair and pretends to sleep.
Lance is shown in the confessional, "I don't want to sew, Carlos made me do it. So I just gave the things I had to sew to Lizzie, I'm sure she can handle it, but if she doesn't, I'm sure I'm not going home."
Chris, Chef and an unknown bearded man with a beanie are shown behind a table on the deck.
Chris says, "Now announcing the first parade, it's the Soaring Seagulls, with the theme Mystery Novels!"
Some typical music from Rio starts playing as Foreman wobbles of the ship's hallway dressed as a book, right next is Inna, who is dressed as a pen. Chris raises an eyebrow.
Inna is shown in the confessional dressed as a pen, "We were running out of costumes, okay? Besides, they totally fit the theme, they even fit Foreman!"
Ryan and Terry come out of the hallway now, Ryan has a big moustache and formal clothes and Terry is wearing a big hat, a blouse with a tie, and a sweater over it.
Cleo, who is on the sidelines with a microphone, announces, "Here we have famous mystery novel writers, Agatha Christie and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle!" the judges applaud, "And right behind them come Conan Doyle's famous characters Sherlock Holmes and Watson!" she continues.
Halle steps out with a superior look on her face while smoking a fake pipe, she is wearing formal clothes. Behind her, we can see Lana with a fake moustache, formal clothes and a frown on her face.
The judges discuss before revealing their score, Chris gives an eight, Chef gives an eight and the unknown man gives a four.
"What the heck? A four?" says Cleo, "I don't even know who that man is!"
Chris says, "Oh, this is José... Or at least I think that is his name. It's a hobo I found near the beach while I was filming the recap."
"The book is on the table," says the hobo with a very strong accent.
Cleo brings her hand to her forehead before the scene cuts to Chris announcing the next team, "And here we have the Clam Chowders with their really original theme, Outlaster!"
Mathew comes out wearing a blue button-up shirt, he stops near the judges and says, "I am Geoff Post, your host for today, and we will now know our contestants for this season. Outlasters ready? Go!"
Meredith comes out of the hallway with her curly hair untied, she is wearing a tiger top and a jeans skirt. Mathew announces, "From season ten, Stefani LeMaigre!"
Patricia comes out wearing a cap, an orange tank top and khaki shorts, "Here we have Sundra Days-Twigz from season seven!" announces Mathew.
Lance walks out of the hallway wearing a green t-shirt and shorts. Mathew announces, "And here is Dalton Crumble, infamous villain from season twenty-four! And he has something to say to us," Mathew puts the microphone near Lance's mouth.
Lance says with no emotion, "You can quit now, or jump into that fire."
Mathew says, "Ooh, I'm scared, that was very convincing," Lance flips Mathew off.
Mallory is the next to come out of the hallway, she is wearing only a purple bikini, "Our next contestant is season twenty-five's Angela Triton!"
The hobo on the desk stares at Mallory creepily and jumps out of the table, only to be caught by Chef, "Nu-uh, she is too young for you," Chef says as the hobo looks down sadly.
Matthew announces, "Now for the grand finale, we have the most realistic costume yet, it's Kentucky Carlos!" Carlos comes out of the hallway being carried by Lizzie, who is wearing a blond wig and a pink and black bikini, and Louie, who is wearing only pink loose boxer briefs. In Carlos' hands there is a huge light-orange flag with 'Mexilhao Tribe' written on it.
Mathew says, "Oh, and the much less important Andressa Elkeboh and Felipe Shippard.."
Lizzie and Louie wave, but Louie's loose boxer briefs fall off.
"Oh my God, what is that?!" asks Chris, horrified.
Chef covers his eyes, "Tell me when they are pulled up again."
The creepy hobo just keeps staring at the naked Louie.
Louie, who is so embarrassed his cheeks are red, desperately tries to pull his boxers up, dropping Carlos to the ground.
"Watch out dumbass!" yells Carlos.
Louie runs away crying, "I'm sorry Carl, I'm sorry team!"
Lizzie tries to carry Carlos on her shoulders while Mathew stares at the scene awkwardly and says, "That's it... I think."
The hobo claps with enthusiasm while Chris and Chef remain silent. Chris gives a four, Chef gives a five and José gives a ten.
The host announces, "And the winners are the Soaring Seagulls!" the winning team cheers.
"Clam Chowders," says Chris, "Meet you at the Tribal Council- I mean, elimination ceremony. Good luck getting rid of a member."
Meredith and Patricia are shown in the hot tub.
Patricia says, "See? I told you we were losing the challenge."
"Aww, Patricia, maybe it were your negative vibes that made us lose," says Meredith.
"Ah, come on," says Patricia, "Negative vibes? You are smarter than that."
Meredith says, "Lighten up, girl!"
"Say what you want," says Patricia, "But that doesn't change the fact we are voting someone out today."
"And who will it be?" asks Meredith.
Patricia says, "Well, no matter how miserably Louie failed today, we are voting Carlos off," she punches her open hand.
"Just us two?" asks Meredith.
"No," says Patricia, "We can convince Louie, he is in danger tonight."
The girls get out of the hot tub and head to their cabin, but find Louie on the hallway.
"Oh, we were looking for you," says Meredith.
Louie smiles wide, "Oh hi Meredith, nice swimsuit you got there! Oh, and Patricia, your hair looks great when it's wet!"
"Thank you dear," says Meredith, "But we wanted something from you tonight."
Louie smiles confidently, "Really?" he asks.
"Yeah," says Patricia, "Could you vote for Carlos with us?"
Louie scratches the back of his head and says, "Err, I'm sorry girls, but I can't."
"Why can't you?" asks Meredith.
Louie says, "Oh, I think I hear someone calling me, see you girls at the elimination ceremony!" he says before sprinting away nervously.
Patricia looks at Meredith and sighs, "Looks like it's just you and me again," Meredith nods.
The Clam Chowders are shown at the elimination ceremony. Chris is holding a plate with seven marshmallows, "Hello, Clam Chowders," he says , "Here I have seven marshmallows for eight of you, and you already know how this works. The marshmallows go to..."
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Mallory."
"Mathew."
"Patricia."
"Meredith."
"Lance."
"Carlos."
Both Louie and Lizzie look extremely nervous.
Chris says, "I have one marshmallow on my plate, and two of you sitting in front of me. Louie or Lizzie, one of those L-names will be leaving S.S. Total Drama tonight, and the last marshmallow goes to..."
"Louie." says Chris before throwing a marshmallow to the boy, who now looks relieved.
Lizzie knees down on the floor and screams dramatically, "Whyyyyyyyyyyy!"
Chris says, "I don't know, but it's time for you to go."
Lizzie boards the Lifesaver of Losers while crying hysterically, she stops crying and looks at Mallory, "Win for me sister!"she starts sobbing as the lifesaver boat descends into the ocean.
Chris turns to the camera, "And that was one more episode, I hope you enjoyed the three seconds and a half of Rio de Janeiro we could show to you. Which country will we visit next? Will Meredith and Patricia finally vote Carlos out? And what caused Lizzie's elimination? Find out next time on S.S. Total Drama!"
Louie is shown sobbing at the confessional, "Th-the reason why I couldn't team up with the girls to vote out Carlos..." he sobs more, "I had already joined Carlos and the boys to vote for Lizzie. I-I'm sorry Lizzie, but it was my only way to survive here, I hope you don't hate me now," he makes a heart shape to the camera using his hands before the footage ends.
Chapter 7 - I'm Feeling Orange And Free[]
Chris is shown in an amusement park near the shore, he smiles to the camera and says, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama, we paid Rio de Janeiro a very brief visit, and had a carnival parade challenge on the ship deck. Unfortunately, we didn't have floats or any interesting thing at all, and that made the challenge boring as heck! The Soaring Seagulls won after Louie's boxer briefs fell down during the Clam Chowder's parade," Chris shudders, "That is a moment I wish I could forget. Despite Louie's pathetic performance, Lizzie was the one voted out due to her alliance thinking she offered a risk to them. Who will be voted out tonight, on S.S. Total Drama!"
Terry is shown sleeping on her cabin, when a moaning noise is heard. The girl wakes up and gasps, "What was that?" she asks herself, "Oh, it might have been a nightmare," the moaning is heard again, causing Terry to cover her entire body with a blanket.
It's morning, and the Soaring Seagull girls are waking up. Lana approaches Terry and says, "Hi Terry! How is your latest novel goin-" Terry opens her eyes to reveal they are red and have bags under them.
"Oh my God!" yells Lana quickly looking to the other side. She looks at Terry and says, "Sorry, you are not that horrible."
"Gee, thanks," says Terry, "I couldn't sleep last night."
Lana asks, "Why? Anything out of the usual?"
"It's nothing, really," says Terry, "I'm going to put on some decent clothes," she enters the bathroom.
Inna asks, "What happened with Terry?"
"I don't know, she didn't tell me," says Lana.
Halle says, "I say we should leave her alone, if she doesn't want to tell, it's her decision."
"Agreed," says Cleo.
Terry gets out of the bathroom changed, "Girls, I'm going to the deck. I'll see if I can relax there."
Halle follows her and asks, "So, what happened last night?"
"Oh, it was horrible," says Terry getting out of the cabin, "I couldn't sleep because I was hearing..." her voice fades down the hallway, leaving Lana staring at the scene with her mouth slightly open. She lays on her bed and sighs.
Lana appears in the confessional, "That's not the first time this happens. It's obvious that Terry shows bias towards Halle, but what can I do? For some reason she finds her obnoxiousness captivating... Go figure."
Carlos, Mathew and Lance are shown in their cabin drinking grape juice, while Louie sleeps in a top bunk on the background.
Carlos says, "And that's why I think Meredith should be the next to go."
"What about Patricia?" asks Mathew.
Carlos asks, clueless, "Who?"
Lance says, "Blonde, grey sweater, is it so hard to remember the girl!?"
Carlos says, "Oh, sorry, she is just so... Forgettable."
Carlos is about to take a sip of grape juice when Louie screams loudly in his sleep, "No, not another wedgie!" Carlos jumps and spills juice all over his clothes.
Mathew says, "I advise you to change it."
"You don't say!" says Lance, obnoxiously.
Carlos looks at Mathew, then at Lance and says, "I guess I'll change at the bathroom. And take a dump too."
"Too much information!" says Lance, disgusted.
"What?" asks Carlos, "Never read 'Everybody Poops'? You should," he gets up and enters the bathroom.
"You know what I noticed?" ask Mathew and Lance at the same time.
Lance says, "You first."
"Okay," says Mathew, "Well, I noticed how we never had a friendly conversation anymore since we allied to Carlos. We just talk about alliances."
Lance asks, "What do you want to talk about, hot guys?" Mathew glares at him.
"Relax," says Lance, "It was just a joke. I talk about all kinds of stuff, like my love for medicine."
Mathew scoffs, "Boring."
"That's what I told your mom last night," says Lance.
"As far as I know, my mom isn't a man," says Mathew.
Lance smirks, "Oh sorry, it might have been your dad, I can't tell the difference."
"My father is dead," says Mathew bluntly.
Lance's eyes widen, "Oh my God, I'm sorry!"
"Ha!" says Mathew, "Gotcha, he is alive and healthy."
"He didn't seem that healthy last night," says Lance.
Mathew smirks, "Oh, that's because he already-"
Louie screams from his bed with his high-pitched voice, "Could you two stop fighting to decide who is the biggest smartass and shut up!"
Mathew laughs obnoxiously, "Look, the softie boy wants to give us orders."
"Ooh, what will he do?" Lance says, "Scream until our ears bleed!"
Louie gets up and says, "You know what? I'm gonna get some girls," he leaves the cabin in his pajamas.
Lance says, "Now that was the quality time you wanted us to have together?"
Mathew laughs, "Sure, we should do it again," he says, "Now you can tell me what you noticed."
A flushing noise is heard and Carlos gets out of the bathroom, "I advise you not to enter there the next few days," he says pointing to the bathroom.
Lance whispers to Mathew, "I'll tell you later."
Inna and Foreman are shown sitting on a table at the dining area.
"All right," says Inna, "Here is the diet I made for you, try to follow every step and exercise regularly so you can lose weight," she gives Foreman a sheet of paper.
Foreman reads it and raises an eyebrow, "Do you want me to starve to death, I can't eat just that!" says Foreman.
Inna says, "Of course you can! Strong will, my man!"
"I'm not your man," says Foreman.
Inna smiles and says, "I know, right? Ahahahaha!"
Foreman asks, "Are you okay, Inna?"
Inna looks down, "Yeah, kinda... Okay, let's jog to burn calories!"
"What about my lunch?" asks Foreman.
Inna says, "Oh, eating is for losers!"
Foreman says, "What the heck, Inna? Aren't you supposed to understand about health?"
"I am, silly," says Inna, "That was just joke, ahahahaha!"
Foreman is shown in the confessional, "Is it just me or is Inna acting weird lately? I'm scared, and I am the one who should be scaring people!"
The contestants are shown leaving the ship, and arriving at some beach.
Chris, who is standing on the sand, says, "Welcome to the famous Jersey Shore-"
Cleo says, "Isn't it that show with the orange brainless people?"
"Well, yes," says Chris, "But we are at the original Jersey Shore, which is much more than just parties and fun," as Chris finishes his sentence, a bunch of fist-pumping fratboys walk on the background, while one of them pukes on the sand.
Lance rolls his eyes, "I can see that," he says.
"As I was saying," continues Chris, "This place is mostly known thanks to that show Clair mentioned."
Cleo yells, "It's Cleo, don't you ever get it right?"
Chris says, "I'm not paid for it!" he coughs, "Yeah, that show. Your challenge will be giving one of your team member a makeover. After that, your makeover will be judged by guidos, keep that in mind."
"Guidos?" asks Mallory, "I hope they're hot."
"You will see," says Chris, "Each team will have access to a beauty parlor, where you will find everything you will need for your makeover. When I give the signal, you can run to your vans," he points to a blue van with a seagull painted on it, and an orange van with a clam painted on it, "And drive to the beauty parlors, which are marked in the provided map. Ready? Go!" he blows an airhorn and the teams run to their respective vans.
Foreman, who is driving the Seagulls van, says, "I know exactly where I have to go, you better decide who will get the makeover."
"I say Terry," says Cleo, "She looks bad."
A zoom of Terry's swollen eyes is shown as she says, "What do you mean by that?"
Halle says, "As much as you are good looking, not as much as me, obviously, I think you need a makeover, your face is bad from your lack of sleep."
Terry sighs, "Okay."
Lana says, "Yeah, I think so too... Yo."
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Yo? Yo!? Ugh, no matter how much I try to be cool like Halle, I'll always end up sounding like a rapper wannabe."
The Clam Chowders are shown in their van. Carlos, who is driving, asks, "So, did you decide who will get the makeover?"
Mallory says, "I suggest using someone ugly, so the makeover will be more surprising."
Lance nudges Mathew, "Here is your chance, dude," he says.
"Oh, shut up," says Mathew.
Patricia asks Meredith, "Why don't you go, Meredith? I've never seen you wearing anything other than these sloppy clothes."
"Alright," says Meredith, "What can go wrong?" she laughs nervously.
On the Seagulls' parlor, Halle, Lana and Cleo sit Terry in a chair.
Cleo says, "Okay, first let's dye her hair."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," says Terry, "I'm not dying my hair, I've never done this before."
Cleo says, "I did, give me some dye, Halle."
"No," says Halle, "You have to respect Terry, and she does not want to dye her hair."
Cleo says, "Ugh, okay, good luck doing something interesting with that girl," she leaves the room.
Ryan, Foreman and Inna are shown sitting in their van.
Ryan says, "So, why are we here again?"
"I know nothing about beauty," says Foreman.
Inna laughs, "I can see that," she says.
Ryan covers his eyes as Foreman gives Inna a death glare.
The long-haired boy is shown in the confessional, "Boy, Foreman is scary. I don't know how does Inna have the guts to say such things in front of him, it looks like she is immune to fear."
Inna says, "Oh, Foreman, I was just joking. I don't know about beauty tips either, I'm all for natural beauty!"
Ryan says, "I know us three have no knowledge about beauty, but I feel like I have to help my team. What about you?"
"Good luck," says Inna, waving to Ryan.
Ryan leaves the van and enters the beauty parlor.
Foreman gets up and says, as he is about to get out of the van, "I'm going too, I don't like to feel useless," he steps on a gap and falls face-first on the ground.
"Oh my God, Foreman!" screams Inna as she gets out of the van, the blonde also steps on the gap and falls next to him with her face on the ground, "I came to help," she says.
The Clam Chowders are seen on their beauty parlor.
Patricia sticks he head out of a closet, "We have some nice clothes here, but that red dress would look perfect on Meredith," she says holding the aforementioned dress.
Mallory says, "Ew, what an ugly dress. She should wear simpler clothes, remember we will be judged by guidos, not snooty middle aged men with a doubtful sexuality."
"Excuse me, princess," says Patricia, "That's offensive!"
Mallory says, "At least I made a point," she gets a pair of short shorts and a black shirt with a very low cut, "She should wear those."
Louie makes a clicking noise with his mouth and says, "Surely! I'd love to see that."
"No way!" yells Meredith, "I'm not revealing my body to all those perverts!"
Mallory states bluntly, "But we will be judged at the beach."
Meredith stares blankly at Mallory, but quickly folds her arms and faces the side, "Well, I prefer the dress."
"Okay," says Mallory, "But you know whose fault it will be if the guidos don't like the dress."
Meredith says, "Of course I know, it will be Patricia's," she laughs goofily as Patricia glares at her.
On the Soaring Seagulls' side, Lana and Halle are shown besides a beauty parlor chair, which is facing the wall. They turn it around to reveal Terry with a poof on her hair, "Ta-da!" the girls say.
Cleo and Ryan look at her with raised eyebrows. Ryan says, "She looks gorgeous!"
Ryan is shown on the confessional, "She looks horrible! But what can I do? I can't insult something my friends worked so hard on."
Inna is shown with Foreman in their teams van, holding an ice pack to the latter's face, "Does it still hurt?"
"A little," says Foreman.
"So," says Inna, "Let's go for a walk!"
Foreman sighs, "My leg hurts again."
"What's wrong with your leg, again?" asks Inna, "You've never told me."
"Nothing," says Foreman, "I fell from the stairs," tears start forming on his eyes.
Inna says, "I don't buy it, you wouldn't cry for that."
"It's true," says Foreman, "It just isn't the whole story."
Inna says excitedly, "What are you waiting for? Tell me!"
Foreman sighs, "Well, since I was a teenager, my dream was to become a detective," he says as Inna looks intrigued at him.
Foreman is shown in the confessional, "At that moment, I could already hear the sad song playing in the background. Why was I so stupid to confess my deepest feelings on national television?"
Inna says, "Ooh, like Sherlock Holmes?"
"No, Inna," says Foreman, "A real detective, who uses knowledge and strength to fight for justice. Not a pompous druggie who isn't even a real person," Inna's eyes widen.
Foreman continues, "I met my wife at eighteen, but you don't want to know about that. So, when I was old enough, I decided to take the test to finally become a detective. I was excellent at the written exam and that made me very excited."
Inna says, "Yay, awesome!"
"Not so awesome," says Foreman, "A day prior to the physical test, I fell from the stairs of my apartment and severely injured my leg. I had to put a pin on it, and now I'm barely able to perform physical tasks."
Inna sobs, "I'm so sorry."
"That's not it," says Foreman, "After that I became this person you see now. A slob with no ambitions in life, who is so fat he can't fit into a kart, and is fine with being a mediocre teacher who scares his students." Foreman starts sobbing,"And to top it off, my vapid wife who just liked me for my looks left me and..." He cries with his hands over his face.
Inna, who is crying too, asks "And what?"
"She took my little angel with her," Foreman says between sobs.
Inna asks, "Your little angel?"
"Yes," says Foreman, "We have a daughter."
Inna looks shocked, "Oh, so..." she looks down, "Nevermind, I'm sorry to hear that, big guy."
"Never call me that again," says Foreman.
"Don't be so grumpy, man," says Inna, "You have a life to live, don't waste it by staying at home doing nothing."
Foreman thinks for a moment and says, "I do weightlifting sometimes, does that count?"
"Wel, yes," says Inna, "But you could go for a jog- I mean, walk sometimes, it's great for you."
Foreman says, "People will laugh at me."
"Of course not," says Inna, "You will never lose weight if you are afraid to exercise."
"I'm not afraid to exercise," says Foreman, "I'm just... Embarrassed."
Inna says, "Don't be! You don't have to be embarrassed about your weight, there's nothing embarrassing about it."
Foreman starts, "I know, but I am. I can't explain why."
"So where is that diet I gave you?" asks Inna, "I'm pretty sure that if you follow it and exercise regularly you will lose lots of weight."
"Why should I trust your diet?" asks Foreman, "How can I know if you really know what you're doing?"
Inna smiles proudly and says, "I have a major in nutrition!"
"Whoa!" says Foreman, "Aren't you a little young for that?"
Inna looks confused, "What are you talking about, I'm thirty-two."
Foreman looks surprised, "What? You can't be serious."
"I am!" says Inna, "They don't call me a health nut for nothing," she laughs.
On the Clam Chowder's beauty parlor, the boys are preparing a bathtub for Meredith.
Carlos says, "The water is hot enough, do you think we need something else?"
"What about rose petals?" asks Mathew.
"Good idea," says Carlos, "Louie is already getting the bath salts, by the way," Louie is shown desperately trying to open a pack of bath salts with his mouth.
Lance says, "Be careful Louie, we don't want to have our faces eaten by you!" he laughs.
Carlos glares at Lance, "Dude, not funny," he says.
"You're not the first one to question my sense of humour," says Lance, "Some people appreciate it, right Mathew?"
"Sure," says Mathew, "I was totally laughing... On the inside," Lance rolls his eyes.
Meredith is shown sitting in a beauty parlor chair with her hair untied, as Mallory approaches her with a flat iron.
"No!" screams Patricia from quite some distance.
Mallory looks at her, "What's your problem, girl?"
Patricia says, "Don't even think about straightening Meredith's hair!"
"Why not?" asks Mallory, "And why do you even care? The hair is not yours."
"Hmm," starts Patricia, "It's just that her hair looks perfect that way."
Mallory says, "But according to the beauty patterns of today's society, her hair is a disaster."
"Who cares about beauty patterns?" says Patricia with some anger on her voice, "The beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and I think Meredith looks-" her eyes widen as she calmly says, "Umm, just fine."
"Okay," says Mallory, "No need to get angry, we can work with something else."
Patricia suggests, "What about putting a rose on her hair?"
"I guess it could work," says Mallory, "But if the guidos don't like it, you know who is going home," she smiles sinisterly.
On the Seagulls' beauty parlor, Cleo, Lana and Halle are shown with Terry on a tanning room, "Now you will enter this booth and the tanning process will start," says the redhead.
Terry lies on the booth, "Okay," she says.
Halle says, "Cleo, could you look over Terry on the tanning booth while we help Ryan chose the makeup? Boys aren't made for that."
"Sure," says Cleo as the other girls leave.
Terry says, "Are you sure this is safe?"
"Of course," says Cleo.
Terry asks, worried, "What if I tan too much?"
"Don't worry, we can remove it later," says Cleo, "This tan is faker than Chris McLean's hair."
Terry says, "Okay, so pay atten-" Cleo closes the booth before Terry can finish her sentence. She sits on a chair, grabs a handled video-game from her pocket and starts playing it.
Time elapses as Cleo plays her video-game,
"Yeah, I passed you dumb princess!"
"Yes, speed boost!"
"Oh no, not the blue shell!"
Cleo hears a loud airhorn and jumps from her chair, "Cheese and crackers, I forgot Terry!"
Halle and Lana run to the tanning room, "What did you just say?" asks Halle.
Cleo desperately opens the booth and stares at the inside in horror while Lana and Halle shake their heads in disapproval.
"Attention contestants," echoes Chris' voice through some loudspeakers, "Time is up, drive back to the beach where your makeovers will be judged!"
Terry is shown on the confessional with an exaggerated fake tan, "I can't believe I slept on the tanning booth, but I had a terrible night. I was so disturbed by those noises."
The Soaring Seagulls are shown on their van. Terry is wearing short shorts, a black shirt with a low cut and a poof on her hair. She also has an overly tanned skin that looks orange.
Everyone else is glaring at Cleo.
Cleo says, "Guys, look on the bright side, we will be judged by guidos. Maybe they will like Terry's look."
Halle says, "No one with a working brain would approve this catastrophe of a makeover."
"Exactly!" says Cleo.
Both teams are shown on the beach in front of a booth covered by a curtain, the contestants who received the makeover are not present.
Chris says, "Okay, since both teams are ready, I will now present you the judges. Chef!"
Chef arrives at the beach and pulls the curtain down, revealing the judges: two middle-aged men wearing matching orange jackets with long yellow sleeves, one of them has grey hair, while the other has black hair.
"What the heck?" asks Cleo, "Aren't they supposed to be guidos?"
"Indeed," says Chris, "Those are William and Joseph!"
Halle raises an eyebrow, "Is this some kind of joke, Chris?"
Lance says, "Chris, guidos are muscular, comically tanned young guys, not a couple of balding men."
"Oh, you guys are too young to know them," says Chris, "Or already forgot them."
Patricia says, "Chris, please, a real reality show fan like me would never forget the legendary guidos. Jersey Shore got nothing on them!"
Chris says, "Oh, I see someone who appreciates my effort to bring back some old classics."
William shouts, "Hey, we are not old!"
"Who are we kidding?" asks Joseph, "We are two old farts."
"Eh, it's true," says William as both laugh.
Chris says, "Okay, enough introductions, let's start with the judging. First team will be the Clam Chowders!"
Meredith comes out of the Clam Chowder's van, she is wearing a red formal dress, red high heels and a golden necklace. Her hair is completely untied, and she has a rose on it.
William and Joseph discuss something inaudible, until Joseph turns to the contestants and says, "Simple, but absolutely stunning. I really like your hair, Meredith."
Patricia points at Mallory and says, "Ha! Told you." she turns to the judges and bows, "It's a honor to have my fashion choices complimented by you."
"Oh, stop it," says William.
Joseph says, "Yeah, we don't even know about fashion at all."
Chris says, "Now, Soaring Seagulls, it's your turn.."
"Wait," says Louie, "What about our score?"
"Oh, that?" says Chris, "They will not give you scores, they will just decide who is the best one. Now Soaring Seagulls, you can start."
An overly-tanned Terry comes out of the van wearing short shorts, a low-cut black shirt and a poof on her hair.
Joseph and William look at her with raised eyebrows, "Willy Wonka called," says William, "He wants his Oompa Loompa back."
Terry looks down in shame and returns to her van.
The scene cuts to both teams standing in front of the judges. William says, "And the winners are..."
"The Clam Chowders!" says Joseph. The winning team cheers, before both teams leave the area.
Chris says, "Thank you for your guest appearance, guys. Those Jersey Shore guidos wanted too much money to appear on my show, can you believe it?"
"Yeah," says William, "Those guys can't think of anything but money and women."
Joseph says, "So true. It's fifteen thousand each, by the way."
Chris sighs.
Terry is shown on a bathtub on her cabin's bathroom, the water looks orange and her fake tan is almost gone, "Stupid challenge," she says, "Stupid Cleo. I wish I could sleep well that night, but those noises..." she sleeps on the bathtub, only to submerge her head and wake up gasping for air.
The Soaring Seagulls are shown at the elimination ceremony, Terry is almost back to her normal, but her skin still has a light tone of orange. Chris is holding a plate with six marshmallows, "Hello, Soaring Seagulls," he says, "Here I have six marshmallows for seven of you unlucky people. The marshmallows go to..."
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Halle."
"Ryan."
"Lana."
"Inna."
Chris says, "For some reason, Terry is safe," he throws Terry her marshmallow, "So that means either Cleo or Foreman is going home, and the last marshmallow goes to..."
"Foreman," says Chris before throwing a marshmallow to the man, who catches it with no emotion while Inna hugs him.
Chris says, "Cleo, the Lifesaver of Losers awaits."
"Fair enough," says Cleo, "Who thought a small break could cost me the game?"
"Everyone thought," says Halle, "Come on, it was just so predictable!"
Cleo says, "Okay, okay, I get it," she boards the Lifesaver of Losers and descends into the ocean.
Chris turns to the camera, "That's it for today's episode! Will Terry have a good night sleep? Can Foreman's story get even cheesier? And will the next elimination be less obvious than the last two? Find out next time on S.S. Total Drama!"
Chapter 8 - Tour De L'égouts[]
Chris is shown standing on the docks of an unknown city, he opens a bright smile and starts his introduction, "Last time, on S.S. Total Drama, we visited the famous shore of New Jersey, where teams had to give one of their members a makeover that would be judged by guidos. The catch? The guidos weren't who they were expecting. Foreman opened up to Inna, and Cleo forgot her teammate Terry sleeping in a tanning booth, which caused her elimination. Today we are arriving at our next destination, who will be eliminated tonight, on S.S. Total Drama!"
The Soaring Seagull girls are shown waking up in their cabin.
"Hey, Terry," says Halle, "Did you have a good sleep tonight, or did something bother you like yesterday?"
Terry says, "Oh, it was okay, no moaning this time. I didn't sleep perfectly either, I was worried."
"Wait, moaning?" asks Lana.
Terry says, "It's nothing, really."
"Yeah," says Halle, "Leave Terry alone."
Lana sighs and leaves the cabin looking down.
Terry sits down on her bed and says, "Come here, my awesome co-writer, let's continue our work."
Halle sits down next to her and says, "Are you sure it's safe? Inna might be eavesdropping," Inna is shown sleeping with her mouth open, as a fly lands on her nose.
"Nah," says Terry, "Okay, so we stopped when Mrs. Petunia found out Naomi's secret. Where should we go with it?"
Halle is shown in the confessional, "Man, I never thought I would find someone as awesome as me," she thinks for a moment, "What am I talking about? No one is as awesome as me. But Terry is a pretty cool girl, I'm glad she can handle my awesomeness."
Carlos, Mathew, Lance and Mallory are shown at the dining area.
"Get on with it, Carlos," says Lance, "I'm already tired of all those reunions."
Carlos says, "Okay, there are two people outside our alliance."
"Three," says Mallory.
"Oh, right," says Carlos, "Three. All three are pretty useless, if you ask me."
"Agreed," says Mathew, "But Meredith seems the most athletic of them."
Carlos says, "That's exactly where I wanted to go, we have to get rid of her next."
"Can't we eliminate Patricia instead?" Mallory asks, "She is so annoying."
"We don't need to," says Carlos, "Patricia is the most harmless person to us in this game. We don't even have to worry about her."
Patricia is shown talking to Meredith on her cabin, "And that's why we need eliminate Carlos as soon as possible."
Meredith says, "Don't we try to do this, like, every time we lose the challenge?"
"Details," says Patricia, "We need to get Louie on our side, which is easy, considering he is desperate for a girlfriend."
Meredith says, "Eww, no. I'm not kissing Louie."
"Don't worry," says Patricia, "I'll try to work on that. I'll try to work on Mallory too... Not in that way, but you got what I mean."
The ship's chimney goes off and Chris' voice sounds on the loudspeakers, "Attention contestants, we have arrived at our next destination, keep in mind a long flight is waiting for you."
The contestants are now shown in a plane, each of them is sitting on seats far from each other. Chris arrives at the front of the plane and says, "As some might have noticed, we are in Aquitaine, France. However, our challenge will take place in Paris, that's why you will have to endure this thrilling plane ride."
Mathew scoffs, "I'm dying of excitement."
"I know, right?" says Meredith, cluelessly.
"Shut up!" shouts Chris, "I put you in seats far away from each other so no one would communicate during the flight. Now, the challenge will be announced once we get in Paris. Enjoy the ride!" he enters the cockpit and the plane starts taking flight.
A montage of the contestants eating peanuts on the airplane is shown, until Lance faces the camera, "Really? Don't you have anything more interesting to make a montage of? God, you're desperate," he says while the camera slowly faces down.
The contestants are now together with Chris on a nondescript corner in Paris.
"Ah, Paris," says Chris, "The city of love... And our challenge has everything to do with love."
Mallory smiles excitedly, "Yay! I'm ready to marry a French hunk."
Louie creeps behind Mallory and says in a terrible French, "Je t'aime, mon déesse du yeux blue."
Mallory smiles nervously, "Umm, I'd suggest you to practice your French a little more," the boy walks away looking disappointed.
"As I was saying," stars Chris, "This challenge has everything to do with love," smiles form on some of the contestant's faces, "You will have a treasure hunt on Paris' sewers!" many grumbles are heard from the contestants.
"Are you kidding me?" asks Mallory, "When we finally get to France our challenge is in the sewers?"
Patricia laughs, "You say this like you don't know Chris already," she says.
Chris says, "Both teams will have to descend in Paris' famous absurdly spacious sewers and retrieve a hidden treasure chest for me. The first team to complete the task will not just win immunity, but also the secret contents of the treasure chest."
Mathew says, "I bet fifteen bucks it's something lame."
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," says Chris, "But the entrance to the sewers is there," he points to a large hole on the ground, "The challenge starts now!" The contestants start climbing down to the sewers.
The Clam Chowders are shown walking along the sewers.
Carlos says, "Each time we see a fork, we will divide our group in half, okay?" everyone agrees except Patricia.
Patricia nudges Meredith, "What are you doing? Don't follow that scum's orders." she whispers.
"Sorry Pat," says Meredith, "It seemed like a good idea."
Patricia whispers, "Look how I'll make a fool of that ignorant animal," she raises her voice, "But Carlos, how will we divide in half if there are seven of us?"
"Three go to one side and four go to the other," Carlos says, "It's not that hard, is it?"
Patricia mutters something dirty under her breath.
On the Soaring Seagulls, Halle and Terry are talking while Lana walks along with them.
"And that's how I survived after eating only okra and hot water," says Halle.
"Wow!" says Terry in amazement, "That's an incredible feat, I'm impressed with anyone who can like okra," she laughs.
Lana gets closer to them and says, "I really like okra."
"Oh, cool," says Terry unenthusiastically, she turns to Halle and says, "So, tell me about your stalker in seventh grade. I'm dying to know about that."
Halle says, "So, in seventh grade I was already incredibly gorgeous, so I had many stalkers. But this one was different..."
Lana walks away from them, looking down.
Ryan notices Lana and asks, "What's wrong, Lana?"
"Nothing," she says.
"You don't have to keep avoiding me," says Ryan, "I'm here to help."
"Okay," Lana says, "It's VelvetCupcakes."
"What?" Ryan asks confused.
Lana sighs, "Terry," she says.
"Oh, so what is VelvetCupcakes?" asks Ryan.
Lana says, "It's her username on MysteryINC.com, she writes mystery novels."
"Cool! I didn't know that," says Ryan.
Lana says, "I'm probably her biggest fan ever, but she doesn't even care about me."
Ryan thinks for a moment and says, "Did you try -"
"Guys!" says Inna, "We have a three-way fork here. I'll follow with Foreman, the girls can go left, and Lana and Ryan go right, okay?"
A group of 'okays' is heard as the contestants continue walking.
"As I was saying," Ryan continues, now following the path on the right side, "Did you try approaching Terry?"
Lana says, "It's everything I do, but Terry is all about Halle, Halle and Halle."
"I can't blame her," says Ryan, "That girls is hot!"
Lana glares at Ryan, "Aren't you trying to help me?" she asks.
"Sorry," answers Ryan, blushing.
The Clam Chowders are shown arriving at a two-way fork.
Carlos says, "Meredith, Louie and Patricia, can you go right?"
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Now it's my chance to get Mallory on our side!"
"Why can't the girls go right?" asks Patricia.
Mallory says, "As long as I'm not with Louie, I'm fine with it," the girls take the right path while the guys go left.
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Just watch how I'll get that girl on our side," she smiles mischievously.
"Hey, Mallory," says Patricia, "So, we almost don't have girl time together. What do you think of the boys?"
Mallory thinks for a moment and says, "Louie creeps me, Mathew is okay and Lance is out reach."
Patricia says, "Oh, not in that way. I mean, what about their personalities."
"Well, Carlos is Carlos, I can't dislike him," Mallory says as Patricia cringes, "Lance and Mathew are quite the unpleasant pair to be around, and Louie... Well, he creeps me."
Meredith says, "Oh, so you're a Kentucky Carlos fan? Did you know Pat here ha-"
Patricia covers Meredith's mouth and says, "I happen to have seen him on Outlaster."
"Oh, cool," says Mallory, "He was incredible, wasn't he?"
Patricia breathes heavily, but finally opens a smile, "If you say so..."
Meredith says, "Patricia, what happened to all the hate-"
"Oh my gosh, giant sewer monster!" yells Patricia interrupting her.
Mallory cowers in fear, "Kill it with fire!" she screams.
Meredith stares blankly at both girls, "But there's nothing here," she says.
"Oops," says Patricia, "My mind might be playing tricks," she offers a fake laugh.
Patricia is shown at the confessional with a small notebook, "Okay, so Mallory doesn't like Mathew and Lance at all," she writes something down, "And she apparently is a huge fan of Carlos... Go figure," she writes down more, "After I gather enough information, my master strategic scheme will cause Carlos' downfall!" she laughs maniacally, until losing her breath and gasping for air.
The scene returns to Ryan and Lana.
"Maybe you should just forget her," says Ryan.
"I know," says Lana, "I just have to find a new distraction, but her novels are so awesome nothing in this world can replace them!" she cries dramatically, but sincerely.
Ryan says, "Oh, don't cry, you can find other friends in your life," he smiles sweetly.
Lana stops crying and stares at Ryan, "My only friend in my whole life is my mother, how do you expect me to suddenly get a friend now!?"
"I don't know," says Ryan, "Maybe someone is willing," he smiles reassuringly.
Lana starts tapping her chin, "Maybe one day... I gotta keep dreaming for now," she says.
Ryan is shown at the confessional, "She wouldn't get the hint even if it was staring right at her! Thinking about it, it was staring right at her. Maybe she's really blinded by Terry," he looks at the ground, upset.
Lance, Carlos, Mathew and Louie are walking down their path.
"This challenge is extremely boring," says Mathew.
Lance says, "Yeah, I'm bored of pointlessly walking in the sewers with nothing happening around at all."
Carlos rolls his eyes, "I bet this is just an excuse for us to interact for a whole day without having to perform any boring challenge," he says.
Suddenly, Louie screams with a piercing high-pitched voice.
"What the heck is this?" asks Mathew, "I don't want to get deaf!"
"Cockroach!" shouts Louie while pointing at a bug on the ground.
Lance steps on it and looks at Louie with a raised eyebrow, "Stop being so pathetic," he says.
Mathew laughs, "Is there something this guy isn't scared of?" he says.
"And his voice," says Lance, "It makes Dawn from Revenge of The Island sound like Foreman," him and Mathew start laughing.
Louie puts on of his arms around Carlos, "At least you are my friend, right?"
Carlos smiles gently, "Of course I am, Louis-"
"Louie," interrupts the boy.
"Whatever," says Carlos, "But you are my buddy!" the guys high-five.
Louie is shown in the confessional, "A friend! I love when I get new friends. At school my friends are Julie, Dani, Fiona and Jake, they are so cool! They even let me talk to them in public!" he says with a constant smile.
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Louie's friend? Oh, please, I'm obviously using him, the guy is more gullible than a two-year-old. In case I lose an alliance member, he will always be there to vote with me. He will be in my alliance without even knowing," Carlos chuckles, "Who's playing a flawless game?" he points to himself with his two thumbs.
The forks Halle and Terry took ends at the same place as Ryan and Lana's.
"Oh, hi girls!" says Lana.
Halle scoffs, "Girls? You should refer to me as Her Royal Sexyness, thank you very much."
Ryan opens his mouth, but no words come out of it. The girls just stare at him.
Ryan is shown in the confessional, looking upset, "I tried to defend Lana, but insulting words just can't come out of my mouth."
Inna is shown walking with Foreman.
"So, you say I have to eat only that?" Foreman asks.
"Yup," says Inna, "But it's enough, trust me, you won't die," she shoves a paper on his hands while laughing.
Foreman looks at it with a raised eyebrow, "You brought my diet instructions to the sewers?"
Inna nods, "We never know when I'll need to convince you."
"I am convinced," says Foreman, "I am determined to lose weight by following this."
Inna stops walking and clears her throat.
"What?" asks Foreman, who also stops.
Inna smiles and says, "The jogging!"
"Oh no..."
"Oh, yes," says Inna, "Don't you want to live a healthy life? Or do you want to watch TV and eat junk food all your life? Don't you just want to walk on the streets, feel the sunshine on your skin, meet new people-"
"New people who will laugh at this pig wearing jogging gear?" says Foreman, "No, thank you."
Inna says, "I thought you agreed with me yesterday."
"Nope," says Foreman, "You interrupted me with your diet talk before I could say anything."
"It's for your health!" Pleads Inna.
Foreman shakes his head.
Inna is shown in the confessional, "At that point I could get hold of Foreman's neck and twist it! I just couldn't take it anymore, so no more Ms. Inna happy fun times!"
"Look!" says an impatient Inna, "You have a little daughter, right? Do you want to be a good father or do you want to be so useless that you will not even be able to take your daughter for a weekend trip!?" she storms off furious while Foreman looks at her with a hint of tears in his eyes.
Inna walks past a large block of concrete in front of a pipe, "Hmm, that might be it."
Some time later, Foreman walks past the same block of concrete and shakes his head.
Inna joins the other members on the Soaring Seagulls, soon followed by Foreman.
"Great," says Terry, "All the paths led up to the same area."
"Hi, guys!" says Inna, "You will not believe what I found on our way there!"
Lana's eyes widen, "The treasure?" she asks.
Inna makes a gesture with her hand while dramatically saying, "A secret passaaaaaage."
Foreman nudges Inna and says, "I don't think this is a good idea, Inna."
"Let's go!" she says while conducting her team.
The Soaring Seagulls arrive at a large pipe blocked by an even larger block of concrete.
Inna says, "So this might be some kind of secret entrance, let's push it!"
Foreman starts, "I don't actually-"
The whole team starts pushing the block away. As soon as it unblocks the path, a wave of filthy water takes over the place.
The scene now shows the unconscious Soaring Seagulls near the entrance of the sewers, their clothes are soaked and filthy. The Clam Chowders emerge from the manhole with a treasure chest.
"Clam Chowders win immunity!" announces Chris, as the winning team cheers.
Patricia glares at Chris, "Who are you, Geoff Post?" her cheering teammates accidentally knock Patricia on the floor.
"As the winners of this challenge," says Chris, "You will win, besides immunity, the contents of this treasure chest!" he gives a key to Louie and he runs to the chest to open it.
"What?" asks Louie.
"Are you kidding me, Chris?" says Mathew, holding a small bottle with Chris' face on it, "What the heck is that supposed to be?"
Chris smiles brightly while holding one of the bottles. The camera focus on him while some relaxing music plays in the background, "It's the new Chris McLean Cologne: Limited French Edition, sold at the best perfumery for only 29,99. Call now and buy one bottle, for the price of two," he says.
"Great," says Lance, "At least we got something to clean the bathroom with."
Mathew laughs, "Sure, we will need it after Carlos uses it," he says.
"Okay, enough perfume bashing," says Chris, "Let's take the plane and go back to our cruise ship," the plane is shown leaving Paris airport, and arriving at Aquitaine.
The Soaring Seagulls are shown at the elimination ceremony site, sitting on the usual folding chairs.
"Hello, Soaring Seagulls," says Chris, "Welcome once again to the elimination ceremony, you may now cast your votes."
Halle is shown in the confessional, "Inna brought us to our demise, my vote is for her."
Inna is shown on the confessional, "I vote for Lana, she is the only person who might receive votes from someone else."
The host lifts a plate, "Here I have only five marshmallows, but there are six of you unlucky Seagulls. The marshmallows go to...
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Halle."
"Foreman."
"Terry."
"Ryan."
Chris looks at the remaining contestants, "Inna and Lana," he says, "You both made mistakes today."
"I did?" asks Lana.
Chris says, "I don't know, today's episode was so boring I didn't watch everything. But I do know that the last marshmallow goes to..."
"Wait!" a deep voice breaks the silence. Foreman gets up from his folding chair and stands in front of the contestants.
The large man gestures towards Inna and says, "This woman," he holds back some tears, "She gave me a new perspective to life. The least I can do to her is to give her one more chance at the million dollars. Chris, I quit."
A chorus of "Awwwwww," is heard from the contestants, except Halle.
Terry nudges Halle, "Why so insensitive?"
"Halle doesn't aww," she says, making Lana roll her eyes.
Foreman approaches Inna and hugs her, "Thank you," he whispers into her ear.
Inna says, "You're welcome. But I'm the one-"
"No," says Foreman, "No need to thank me."
Inna opens a mischievous smile and says, "But I will!" she leans towards Foreman and kisses him.
She lets go of him, and Foreman says with wide eyes, "Umm, I have to go. Se you all later!" the man boards the Lifesaver of Losers and the boat descends into the ocean.
Chris turns to the camera, "I love happy endings..." he says, "Too bad no one was severely injured to make things happy. See you next time on a possibly more life-threatening episode of S.S. Total Drama!"
Foreman is shown on the Lifesaver of Losers. He says, "I have to thank Inna for giving me a new perspective in life. I thought I was hopeless until that angel fell from the sky," he scratches the back of his head, "Now I just have to explain little Emily about this new angel in my life," Foreman sighs.
Chapter 9 - Cold as a Summer In Morocco[]
Chris McLean is shown standing in a beach, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama, we landed in France, and the competitors had an adventure on Paris' sewer system! Well, the adventure was actually just people walking and talking and finding a treasure, boring, right? Yeah, I thought so too. The Soaring Seagulls lost thanks to a mistake on Inna's part, and when the energetic health nut was about to say bye-bye, Foreman stepped up and volunteered to go instead of her. Really heartwarming, don't you think? Will something interesting happen today, or will this episode be just a complete filler? Find out now, on S.S. Total Drama!"
The Soaring Seagull girls are shown in their cabin, on the night of the elimination.
"Wow, Inna," says Terry, "Congratulations on your... Achievement."
Inna laughs and says, "Thanks, the guy is really sweet."
"Sweet?" asks Halle, "I was waiting for the day I would be crushed by his fists."
Inna says, "Aww, he would never do this to you. The rumours about him beating his students were proved to be fake."
"What rumours?" asks Halle, surprised.
"Oh, nothing," says Inna with a smile.
Ryan is shown alone in his cabin. "I have this whole cabin just for me," he sighs, "It's not much different than how I thought it would be." A moaning sound is heard.
"Oh my gosh!" says Ryan. He grabs his pillow and blanket and runs out of his room.
The Soaring Seagull girls are shown sleeping in their cabin until a knocking is heard on the door.
Terry wakes up abruptly, "It's the spirits!" she screams.
"Wait what?" says Lana, groggily, while waking up, "It's just someone on the door."
Terry says, "Yeah, someone at the door at three in the morning, makes perfect sense."
Inna says, "I'm not opening, what if a ghost try to take my soul away?"
"Shut your mouth!" screams Terry in panic, before knocking three times on the wooden bedside desk, "Why don't you go, Lana?"
Lana shifts her eyes and says, "No thanks."
"Wow," says Halle, "You guys are all chickens, I'll open it."
The girl walks to the door and opens it, only to see Ryan in his pajamas, holding a pillow and a blanket.
Halle rolls her eyes, "Oh, you," she says uninterestedly.
Ryan scratches the back of his head and says, "I've already done this before, so I think it wouldn't be a problem if you... Like... Let me sleep here?"
"Get out," says Halle.
Ryan's eyes get shiny with tears as he says, "Pleeeease?"
"No," says Halle as dryly as she can.
"Aww, Halle," says Lana, "Let him stay. Didn't he do this before?"
Ryan perks up, "Yeah, listen to your friend."
Halle says, "Does everyone agree on letting this boy sleep on our cabin?" the girls nod.
Halle sighs, "You can stay," she says.
Ryan says, "Thank you very much!" and prepares to hug Halle.
Halle puts her hand if front of Ryan, "But if you touch me, I won't be afraid to accuse you of sexual harassment and get you out of this competition," she says.
"Yes ma'am," says Ryan while preparing his 'bed' on the floor.
On the next day, Lance and Mallory are shown in the Clam Chowder guy's cabin. The former is wearing his hair combed instead of spiked.
"Where are Carlos and Mathew?" asks Mallory.
Lance says, "Carlos is on the bathroom, as for Mathew..."
Mathew comes from behind Mallory and hugs her while pinching her arms.
"Ouch!" the girls screams, "What are you doing, you piece of-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," says Mathew, "No need to get rude there, it was just a friendly greeting," he winks, making Mallory sigh.
Mathew points to Lance, "What's with the hair? You look like that girl from a soap opera my grandma watches."
"Sure," says Lance, "Your grandma."
"Oh, go back to your dumpster!" Mathew scoffs.
Carlos gets out of the bathroom, "Oh, I see you were all waiting for me," he says.
"Yes, get on with it," says Lance, "There's a grilled salmon waiting for me. I dumped my ex boyfriend because of grilled sal-"
"Okay," says Carlos, "We will vote for Meredith-"
"Okay thanks bye!" says Lance, ridiculously fast, while running out of the cabin.
Carlos watches him running down the hallway and sighs.
"Are we dismissed?" asks Mallory.
Carlos says, "Meh, I guess."
Mallory says, "Okay," she glares at Mathew, "I have to go."
"Bye, then," says Mathew uninterestedly. Mallory leaves the cabin.
Mathew looks at Carlos and says, "Dude, I know you don't feel comfortable around Lance."
Carlos says, "It's not like that..."
Mathew stares at him.
"Okay, it is," says Carlos.
"So why don't you tell him?" asks Mathew.
Carlos says, "And look bad on national television? No way."
"Do what you want, then," says Mathew before leaving the room.
Meredith is show on the ship's hot tub drinking some tropical juice while Patricia lays on a folding chair nearby.
Meredith says, "Girl, just tell me why you hate Carlos so much? My brother says he's awesome and all."
"It's simple, dear," says Patricia, "Carlos spends all his time picking his own nose and smelling his own farts, he's the most disgusting person!"
Meredith thinks for a moment and says, "But I've never seen him doing any of those."
Patricia says, "That's because I plan on purposely avoiding him, and I'm making you avoid that creature too," she gets angrier, "Plus, you've never seen him on Outlaster or The Astounding Race, It's hard for me to watch him on the screen because it makes me want to dry-heave sometimes!"
"Dry-heave?" asks Meredith, cluelessly.
"Gag!" yells Patricia, "Throw up! Vomit! For God's sake, how can you be so stupid!?" she starts hyperventilating.
Meredith says, visibly offended, "I thought you were my friend, Pat. Why are you treating me like that?"
"Oh sorry," says Patricia, "I got carried away with this conversation. I apologize."
"Okay," says Meredith, "But don't forget I'm a person too, regardless of liking Carlos or not."
Patricia's eve starts twitching, "D-d-did you say... liking Carlos!?"
"Oh, no no no no," says Meredith, "My brother likes him," she laughs innocently.
Patricia sighs, "I don't know if I can trust you about that. Maybe I am really a psycho-"
"Hello, girls!" says Mallory, approaching them in a pink bikini, "What'cha doing?"
Meredith says, "Oh, Patricia is expressing all her hatred towards-"
"Guacamole!" screams Patricia, receiving blank stares, "It's so gross, right? How can anyone like that thing?" she laughs awkwardly.
"Okaaay," says Mallory, suspiciously, "Anyway, I need some girl company, those boys are driving me crazy."
Meredith says, "Oh gosh, is it Louie again?"
"Not this time," says Mallory, "I haven't even seen Louie today. The real problem is-"
"Carlos!?" asks Patricia, eagerly.
Mallory says, "Err, no. How can Carlos be a problem, he's so smooth, and is sure a hottie."
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "A hottie? A hottie!? First of all, he is married, but most importantly, ewwwww," she makes a gagging motion.
Mallory says, "Mathew is the one who's annoying me, he's so obnoxious."
"What did he do, again?" asks Patricia with an eyebrow raised.
Mallory says, "Ugh, he likes to act all cool and badass around us. I mean, I have no eyes for you, jerk."
Meredith says, "Aww, I don't really mind Mathew. I'm sure he is a cool guy deep down."
"Shush, Meredith!" says Patricia. She now turns to Mallory and says, "Too bad Mathew is such a nuisance. Only if there was something we could do..."
Mallory looks down, "Yeah, too bad," she leaves the area.
Once Mallory is far away, Patricia screams, "This is it!"
Meredith asks, "What, Pat?"
"Well-"
Chris' voice on the loudspeaker interrupts Patricia, "Attention contestants, we arrived on deck, meet me at the beach nearby. Oh, and I'd suggest you to wear summer clothes, we are in Morocco and it's really hot."
Chris is shown at a beach in Morocco, standing in front of the competitors who are all wearing beachwear, "Welcome to Morocco! Your challenge is waiting for you."
"Where?" asks Louie, impatiently.
Chris says, "Not here! In fact, you should get on your respective vans and follow me," Chris gets inside a car and drives away, followed by the team's color-coded vans.
Chris is shown arriving at an enormous covered stadium-like area, followed by the team's vans.
Inna, who is driving for the Seagulls says, "I wonder where we're going. Maybe to the desert!"
Lana points at a huge sign outside, "I don't think so," she says.
"What is it, then?" asks Inna, putting her head outside the widow, "Oh no."
"Oh yes!" Chris' voice booms in a megaphone, "Welcome to Morocco Winter Resort, the area for your next challenge!"
Lance gets out of his van in a speedo, "Are you freaking kidding me, Chris?"
"No," the host replies, "Why do you think I made you wear those super-appropriate clothes?"
Lance is shown in the confessional, "Chris, from the bottom of my heart... *BLEEP* you!"
The contestants are shown with Chris inside an enormous indoors winter resort.
Meredith sticks her hand and lets snow fall on it, "Wow, the snow is fake, but looks so real!"
"Great observation, smartypants," says Chris, "But let me explain you your challenge. There are two giant piles of snow right there," the host motions to said piles of snow, "Each team will have to retrieve five items from a pile. These items are, one top hat, one carrot, two buttons and two sticks. While doing this, other team members will be making a snowman, while not letting it melt-"
"Ha, easy," scoff Mathew.
Chris says, "Did I mention you will be building the snowman on the outside? I don't think so. So good luck, and your challenge starts now!"
On the Clam Chowders, Mallory suggests, "Carlos, why don't you start giving us the orders?"
"Oh, why not you, my lady?" asks Carlos, "I think you are a very bright girl," Mallory smiles wide.
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "Oh my gosh, the Kentucky Carlos complimented my intelligence, I am the luckiest girl in the entire world! I couldn't ask for anything else."
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Of course I won't take the position of leader in a challenge. If we lose who is going home? The leader, obviously. I had to shift the duty to someone else."
At the Soaring Seagulls, Ryan is trying to give instructions, "Why don't... Err... Halle, Inna and I search through the snow while Lana builds the snowman with Terry?"
"Sounds good to me," says Inna.
"Sounds great to me!" says Lana, trying to contain her excitement.
"Meh," says Halle.
Ryan is shown in the confessional, "I know Lana is a huge fan of Terry, so I put them together building the snowman. I hope she notices my efforts.
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Wow, it must have been a divine intervention, I ended up with Terry!" she squeals.
Mallory gives orders on the Clam Chowders, "Meredith, Patricia and Louie can build the snowman, I find stuff with the boys. Okay?"
Patricia asks, "Do we really need three people to build a snowman?"
"Of course," says Mallory, "It's a very... Umm... Challenging feat. Like, totes," she nods.
Meredith, Louie and Patricia go outside.
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "I can see Mallory is not the brightest bulb out there, I mean, three people to build a snow man is just too much. But if I want the girl on my side, I can't disagree with her."
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "I obviously put Louie with the girls to keep him away from me. The guy is, like, so annoying. I can't handle it."
Louie is shown with Patricia and Meredith near an empty spot on the parking lot.
Louie smiles wide and says, "I can't believe I'm doing this challenge with my favorite girls! Give me a hug!" he hugs Meredith. When he comes next to Patricia she backs up a little.
"What happened?" asks Louie.
Patricia points to him and says, "I don't really want to hug you in swimming trunks. But we really like you, you know?"
Louie says, "Thank you, my friends!"
Mathew comes to them carrying a handful of snow and a top hat. He drops it on the floor and says, "Work on it!" before returning to the ski station.
Louie blows raspberries behind Mathew's back.
"What was that?" asks Patricia, "You don't like him?"
"Of course not!" says Louie, "The guy is a big bully."
Patricia smirks.
Inside the winter resort, the Clam Chowders are searching for objects.
Ryan is digging through the snow, "Gosh, I can't find anything no matter how hard I try!" he complains.
Halle approaches him with a handful of snow, two buttons, a stick and a top hat, "Here it is," she says handing Ryan the items.
Ryan looks at it with wide eyes, "H-how the heck did you find this so fast?"
"Don't question my awesomeness," says Halle smugly, before returning to her search.
On the parking lot, Lana says to Terry, "So... My friend introduced me to your novels. Did I tell you I really like them?"
"Yes, thank you," says Terry, smiling.
Lana tries to keep the conversation going, "Err... Keep up the good work."
"Thanks, I'll try."
"Your latest one..." says Lana, "I loved the twist about Maximilian's son. Who would have suspected he was-"
Ryan arrives at the scene, "Hello, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
Lana mouths 'you are' to him.
"No, not really," says Terry.
"Okay," says Ryan, "Here is some snow and all those items," he drops everything near them.
Lana says, "Wow! Did you find all this by yourself?"
Ryan says, "Hmmm... Actually..." he starts scratching the back of his head, "Halle did it."
"Oh. Her..." says Lana.
Terry says, "I knew I could trust Halley, that girl is a powerhouse! Don't you think so, Lana?"
"Sure," says Lana, nonchalantly, while starting to build the snowman's base.
On the winter resort, Mallory screams, "Guys, I found a button!"
"I'm with some snow," says Carlos, holding a large pile of snow, "Just put it there."
A montage of people running back an forth with snow, while wearing swimwear is shown.
The montage stops when Carlos delivers the a pile of snow and a stick to Louie.
"We just need a carrot," says Meredith, "Try to find it, we have enough snow!"
On the Soaring Seagulls, Terry and Lana are yelling desperately, "A stick and a carrot, please! And more snow, it's melting!"
Inna arrives with a pile of snow, "I just got this," she says, "No luck with items, though."
"It's okay," says Terry, "We were needing it."
On the Clam Chowder's parking lot, Meredith says, "Since our snowman is almost done, why don't we go inside to help the team find the final carrot?"
"Seems like a good idea," says Louie," What do you say, Patricia."
"Wow, Meredith," says Patricia, "You had a good idea, congratulations!"
On the inside, the former snowman-builders arrive.
"We're here to help!" says Meredith.
Louie points to her, "And she had the idea, isn't she awesome?"
"Sure," say Mathew and Lance at the same time. They look at each other with wide eyes, then start looking at opposite directions.
The whole team starts digging through the pile of snow, looking for a carrot.
On the parking lot, Lana and Terry are waiting for one of the missing objects.
Lana says, "So, on your second novel, I was so shocked to know that Mr. Winslow was gay, but you really fooled me making me think he had an affair with Atsuki. That was your intention from the beginning, right?"
"Yeah, I guess," says Terry.
Terry is shown in the confessional, "So, Lana is a really cool girl but... Having fans is so hard," she sighs.
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Why is Terry so cold to me? On MysteryINC.com she is so sweet," she forces a smile, "Maybe she is not used to fans in person."
The Clam Chowders are searching for the carrot.
Louie finds the carrot in the snow, "Yes, I got it," he says to himself.
Mathew snatches it from his hand and lifts it in the air, "Hey guys, I found it!" he announces.
"Good job," says Mallory, "We need more useful people like you," she kisses Mathew on the cheek.
Louie stares at the scene while a tear runs down his face, when he notices, everyone is already running to the parking lot.
"Move, you load of uselesness!" screams Lance.
When the team arrives at the parking lot, everything they see is a melting snowman base surrounded by a puddle of water.
"What the heck is that supposed to be?" asks Carlos.
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Something prettier than your dehydrated monkey face!" she screams.
Meredith says, "I-I'm sorry, Carlos."
"Girl, don't be sorry," says Patricia.
Mathew barks, "Yes, be sorry, that was your freaking idea!" he kicks the remains of the snowman, hitting Mallory in the stomach.
Mallory glares at Mathew, "I think you missed the target, genius!"
Carlos says, "Please, let's stop fighting and go get more snow, we are almost finishing."
An airhorn is heard, followed by Chris' voice, "Too late Chowders, the Soaring Seagulls just finished their snowman. See you at the elimination ceremony!"
The Soaring Seagulls are shown carrying Halle and shouting her name, among other things.
"You did it, girl, you found all pieces!"
"Halle is our savior!"
"You are just that awesome!"
Lana silently sulks behind the crowd who carries Halle.
Now that everyone is back on the ship, Carlos is shown in the dining area with his alliance, "Okay guys, it's more than obvious that Meredith should go next," he says.
"So why are we even here?" ask Lance.
"Lance has a point," says Mathew.
Carlos says, "Fine, go ahead and do what you want."
"Eat all the leek quiche!" says Lance, while running to the kitchen.
Mallory gets up, "Okay, I'm going, then."
Patricia and Meredith are shown at their cabin.
Patricia says, "I can try to keep you tonight, Meredith."
"Really, Pat?" says Meredith surprised, "I love you!"
Patricia blushes, "Err, but I'm not sure if it will work," she says.
"What will we need for it to work?" asks Meredith.
Mallory enters the room at that moment.
"That," says Patricia with a smirk.
"That what?" asks Mallory, clueless.
Patricia says, "Oh, nevermind. Remember when Mathew kicked snow on you? I wouldn't leave it like that."
"Yeah, he is a real jerk," says Mallory.
Meredith says, "He could only be more of a jerk if he wore a shirt with 'jerk' written on it."
Mallory says, "But I can't think of a good revenge to get on him."
"Well, there is one thing you could do," says Patricia.
Mallory says, "What?" she thinks for a moment and gasps, "Oh no!"
"Why not?" says Patricia, "The guy is a complete jerk, there's nothing that forbids you from voting for him."
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "Okay, what a situation to be in. But I'm not dumb, I know exactly what to do!"
"I'm going for a walk," say Mallory, "Maybe I'll make up my mind there."
"There's only a problem," says Meredith.
Patricia says, "Yeah, the elimination ceremony is just now."
"Oh."
The Clam Chowders are shown at the elimination ceremony, where Chris is holding a plate with six marshmallows, "Hello Clam Chowders," he says , "I missed you sitting here in front of me," he chuckles, "But let's get on with it already, the marshmallows go to..."
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Lance."
"Carlos."
"Patricia."
"Louie."
"Mallory."
Mathew looks confident, while Meredith plays with her hair eagerly.
Chris says, "I have one marshmallow on my plate, and two pitiable people in front of me. But one of you will be leaving S.S. Total Drama tonight, and the last marshmallow goes to..."
"Meredith," says Chris, while tossing the marshmallow to the girl, "You're still in."
Mathew looks shocked, "Wait, what? How!?"
"I don't know, dude," says Chris, "But it's time for you to go."
Mathew glares at Carlos, "It was you, right? Trying to blindside me!"
Carlos says, "I can guarantee I did nothing to eliminate you."
"Because you're a very trustworthy person," says Mathew, "But I'll have my revenge, Carlos, I'll make your stay here a hell!"
Carlos scoffs, "Good luck with that."
"Thank you," says Mathew, "In fact, everyone here should know you don't feel comfortable around Lance."
"Okay, pretty boy," says Chris, "Time for you to go."
"I'm not finished yet!" says Mathew.
Chris cuts the Lifesaver of Loser's ropes and the boat falls in the ocean, "Now you are," he says with a smirk. The host turns to the camera and says, "What a sad goodbye. Well, tune in next time for more totally dramaticness on S.S. Total Drama!"
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "Okay, I voted for Mathew," she sighs, "Sorry Carlos, I just couldn't stand him anymore. And the merge is coming, I'll not need an alliance..." her eyes widen, "Wait."
Chapter 10 - A Bunch Of PSY-choes[]
Chris is shown in the backstage of some studio as he begins his introduction, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama, the contestants visited Morocco, but we barely saw the country as the challenge took place in a winter resort, where I fooled the contestants into wearing summer clothes," Chris chuckles, "This always works. Anyway, Halle carried the Soaring Seagulls during the whole challenge, and due to Meredith's bad idea, the Clam Chowders lost the challenge. Thanks to Mallory's stupi- I mean, change of heart, Mathew was voted off, but not without making the mood awkward between Lance and Carlos before leaving. What challenge awaits them in this episode, as we get closer to the merge? And most importantly, who will be eliminated next on S.S. Total Drama!"
The Clam Chowders are shown returning from the elimination ceremony in complete silence.
Patricia coughs twice, but the silence continues after that.
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "Carlos cannot find out I was the one who voted for Mathew, what will I do now?" she starts chewing her fingernails.
Carlos says in the confessional, "Okay, someone from my alliance did not vote according to our plan, and I think it's fairly obvious who it is, considering Fruity Loops had a bromance with Mathew."
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Success! Take that, you neanderthal! One down, soon it will be you," she grins maliciously.
Lance laughs in the confessional, "It was fairly obvious that Carlos had his reservations towards me," he says, "Considering Mathew is a smart boy, it didn't took too long for him to notice. Now I just have to wait for Carlos to talk to me."
Louie is shown nervous at the confessional, "I'm glad Mathew is out, he was such a bully. Now I just have to deal with one annoying teammate."
Meredith is shown in the confessional, "Wow, I never noticed that the confessional's walls had those cyan details!"
When the Clam Chowders get to their cabins' doors, everyone says at the same time, "Good night!" and enter their respective cabins.
On the next day, the Soaring Seagulls are having breakfast in the dining area.
"So, how was your night, Terry?" asks Halle, "Any complications this time?"
Terry thinks for a moment, "Not that I can remember now. I'm glad the last two nights were pleasant," she says.
Ryan asks, "So I'm not the only one to hear those moaning sounds?"
"You too?" asks Terry, surprised.
Inna says, "Come on, guys, it's just your imagination."
"That's right, Terry," says Lana, "You shouldn't worry," she smiles reassuringly.
Terry says, "I'm not sure, maybe you're right."
"Yeah, there are no ghosts out there," says Halle.
Terry smiles, "Now I feel safer," she says.
Lana rolls her eyes.
The Clam Chowder girls are shown in the ship's hot tub.
"Good job, Girl," says Patricia, "You did the right thing."
Mallory says, "I don't know... But don't think I'm abandoning my alliance, I just wanted Mathew out!"
Patricia smirks, "Oh, so you do have an alliance," she says.
Mallory is shown in the confessional, hitting her head on the wall while saying, "Stupid Mallory! Stupid Mallory! Stupid Mallory!"
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "That's no surprise to me, it was quite obvious from day one that Mallory was a big fan of Carlos. Maybe her friends and her started a little cult around that scumbag," she sighs, "Can't say I haven't seen it before."
Louie approaches the girls on the hot tub, "Hello, my little friends!"
"Little friends?" asks Meredith.
Patricia says, "Yeah, and why do you have to approach us only when we are in our swimwear?"
Louie looks down, "Sorry, I'll wait for you to get dressed," he leaves the area.
Mallory says, "I think I may stay in my swimwear for the rest of the day."
The girls laugh.
Lance and Carlos are shown in their cabin. Carlos pretends to be sleeping in his bed, while facing the opposite direction of Lance's bed.
"Cut that crap," says Lance, "I know you are awake."
Carlos turns to him and says, "How did you know?"
"Ha, easy," says Lance, "When you sleep, you snore like a camel with laryngitis."
Carlos chuckles, "Good one," he says, "What do you want to talk about?"
"Don't play dumb, because you're smarter than all of us," says Lance, "You know exactly what I want to talk about."
Carlos says, "Okay, here's the deal. I do feel uncomfortable around you, but it's not all the time."
Lance nods and says, "Go on..."
"Well, it's just when you," says Carlos, "You know... Talk about your..."
Lance looks at him impatient.
"Your, you know..." says Carlos, "Your... Gayness."
Lance laughs, "Is that it?" he asks.
Carlos looks surprised, "Yes," he says.
Lance laughs some more, "Oh, that's silly," he says.
"You mean," says Carlos, "It's all okay?"
"Of course!" says Lance, "Why didn't you tell me before? I could have stopped talking about it in front of you."
Carlos says, "Well, I was... Afraid."
"Afraid of what?" asks Lance.
Carlos says, "Afraid of being labeled homophobic on national television."
Lance laughs at him again, "Oh, I can't believe this, I'll not label you homophobic or anything of the sort just for that."
Carlos smiles confidently and says, "It's good to hear that. So, are we still frie- I, I mean, allies?"
"Sure," says Lance, "Who do you plan on eliminating next?"
"Meredith," says Carlos, "But first we will need Mallory for this. That sneaky weasel..."
"Okay, I'll call her," says Lance.
On that moment, the ship's chimneys go off and Chris' voice sounds on the loudspeaker, "Attention contestants, we have arrived at our next stop. I'll ask you all to head to the harbor as soon as possible!"
Lance says, "Well, we can leave that for later."
Carlos nods.
In the harbor, all remaining contestants are in front of Chris, as he announces, "Okay, competitors, welcome to South Korea!"
Some contestants cheer, but Meredith asks, "Wait, how did we get from Morocco to South Korea so fast?"
"Don't question the logic of our universe!" Yells Chris, "But let me give you the instructions for this challenge. First you will board your exclusive team-vans, and head to the Tv studio marked on your maps. Once there, I will explain you the rest of the challenge."
Once the contestants are all inside the TV studio, Chris says, "Hello, contestants! Your next challenge will involve not only skill, but also cooperation. But that's not everything, your challenge will also involve a famous pop star!" announces Chris, motioning to a door.
A familiar figure wearing sunglasses and a suit steps out of said door while performing a peculiar dance. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Psy!" announces Chris, as everyone applauds.
Patricia says, "Wait a minute, Chris. This is not Psy!"
"Of course it is," the host says, "Who else could it be?"
"That's Heather!" screams the reality show fanatic.
Chris starts sweating nervously, "O-of course it isn't," he says.
The suit-clad person takes their sunglasses off, revealing the former reality show star, "Okay, it's me," Heather says grumpily.
"Ha! I knew it!" boasts Patricia.
"Come on," says Chris, "Do you know how much the real Psy charges for a guest appearance?"
Heather says, "They figured it out, can I leave this place already?"
"Nope," says Chris, "We will need you for the tutoring part."
"Are you kidding me, Chris?" asks Heather, "Tutoring what?"
The next scene shows Heather teaching Ryan and Meredith a unusual dance, which consists of simulating movements normally seen in a horseback ride.
Heather glares at Chris while dancing, "You only mentioned a guest appearance in my contract, you didn't mention acting like a clown!" she complains.
"This is Total Drama," says Chris, "It's all about acting like a clown."
"I can see," replies Heather, bitterly, "Starting with the host."
Lance smirks and says, "Burn."
Heather is shown in the confessional, "Ooh, I like that guy, and he's pretty hot. Maybe we can even have something after the show is over. It would only be better if he is the one who will win the million..." she looks up dreamily.
The scene now cuts to Chris in front of an obstacle course made of TV props, "Attention, contestants! Since Ryan and Meredith already learned how to dance, we can now start the real challenge. Each team will have a guide, in this case, Meredith and Ryan. The guide will have to be dancing continuously while wearing a suit and sunglasses, and will direct his blindfolded teammates through an obstacle course. The first team to reach the finish line wins."
Mallory says, "Sounds easy enough."
"Oh, there's on more thing," says Chris, "If the guide stops dancing, their team automatically loses the challenge."
Meredith gasps, "That's not fair!" she says, "All the responsibility for our loss will be put on me."
"Who said we will lose?" asks Carlos.
Mallory says, "Yeah, stop being such a pessimist..."
Patricia nods.
The pretty girl continues, "You're sounding like Patricia."
Patricia suddenly stops nodding and glares at Mallory.
"Okay, on your marks," says Chris, "Go!"
The first obstacle is a mud pit, where the competitors will have to crawl under to find three flags.
On the Clam Chowders, Meredith dances while giving orders, "The first obstacle is a mud pit, so you guys lie on the ground fist!" The Clam Chowders do so. Meredith continues, "Now I'll give individual orders for you guys so you find the flags. Patricia crawl forward, then left."
Meredith is shown in the confessional, "Ooh, it was so cool to be in charge for once," she says, "And I was in charge while performing a cool dance!" she laughs a bit and snorts.
The Soaring Seagull members are already in the mud pit, as Ryan dances awkwardly while giving orders, "Guys, why don't you all, err... Go to opposite directions until you find the flag?" the girls follows his directions. Inna and Terry accidentally bump their heads while Halle finds a flag with ease.
Ryan is shown in the confessional, "Well, to tell the truth, I couldn't see at all without my glasses. Especially wearing those sunglasses," he starts scratching the back of his head, "I don't plan on telling my team that, or else they would all accuse me of being the reason we lost," he smiles nervously, "If we lose, I mean."
On the Clam Chowders, the blindfolded members are all tangled on the mud pit.
Meredith yells while dancing, "Carlos, to the right, please!"
"I'm going," says Carlos, "Try giving orders to someone else!"
"Okay," says Meredith, "Louie, go forward, you may find a flag. Mathew, you go-"
Lance yells, "Meredith, we voted Mathew out yesterday!"
Meredith laughs embarrassed, "Oh right," she says.
Lance brings his hand to his forehead.
On the Seagulls, Ryan is squinting his eyes while dancing, "Lana... That's Lana, right?" he points to a blindfolded Lana.
Halle says, "How am I supposed to know, I'm blindfolded!" after a second, she says, "Oh, look, I found another flag!"
Inna, who is over Lana in the mud pit yells, "You go, girl!"
Terry cheers, "Yeah, Halle, you're awesome!"
Lana is shown in the confessional, "What the heck?" she says in disbelief, "Halle found two flags while blindfolded, without even Ryan's help!? Ugh, maybe Terry is right for liking her more than she likes me... All I did was being under Inna so far," she sighs.
On the Clam Chowders, no one found a flag yet.
Meredith screams while dancing, "Patricia, crawl to your right! Now, Carlos, the flag is right to your left!"
Carlos extends his arms and grabs Lance's arm, "I think I got it!"
"No, Carlos," says Meredith, "That's not flag, that's Lance's arm!"
Carlos is shown chuckling smugly at the confessional, "Meredith was right, it was not a flag, it was a fa-" the camera goes static mid-sentence and shows a black screen with a big disclaimer that says, "Our TV broadcast does not necessarily agree with all our contestants' opinions and points of view."
On the Soaring Seagulls, Ryan gives the orders while dancing, "Err... Lana. Try going to the... Left?" he says uneasy.
Lana crawls to her left, and actually finds a flag, "I think I... Oh my gosh, I got it!" she starts screaming and jumping up and down, "I got it!"
Halle is shown in the confessional looking at a hand-mirror while scratching her back with something, "Oh, poor Lana was so happy for getting a flag. People like her get cheerful for any small accomplishment," she stops scratching her back, revealing she was using the two flags she got, then winks.
After the first obstacle, the Seagull now have to face a large corridor with many objects dangling on ropes in a pendulum-like fashion.
Ryan says nervously while dancing, "Okay, there are many things dangling on the roof. The first one is... Well, it looks like a roasted turkey."
"What the..." says Inna.
Ryan says, "Yes, it is a roasted turkey, now run past it as fast as you can!"
Everyone runs past it, but Terry bumps her head on the turkey, "Ew, I'm a vegetarian!"
Chris announces from the sidelines, "Everyone has to go back to the beginning if one member hits one of the objects!"
"That's not fair!" complains Inna.
Chris says, "No one asked, now back to work!" the Seagulls go back to the beginning while muttering things under their breaths.
On the Clam Chowders, no one has found anything yet.
Meredith says while dancing, "I'm sorry guys, am I that useless?"
Patricia starts, "Aww, Meredith you're-"
"Shut up and start giving us orders!" yells Lance.
Meredith frowns, "Okay, Lance, go play in traffic!"
Lance asks, "What the..."
"You asked for orders," said Meredith with a smirk.
On the Soaring Seagulls, Ryan is shown guiding the girls through a series of random objects dangling by ropes, until reaching a huge iron beam.
"Okay, that one might be a little more dangerous," he says.
Halle passes through it without even receiving an order, "Done," she says with a smug smirk.
"What the heck?" asks Ryan, "How did you... How could... Nevermind," he sighs.
Terry cheers, "Wow, Halle, you're incredible!"
Lana is shown in the confessional, "If Halle could do it without Ryan's orders, I can do it too! It's about time for Terry to see I can do as much as Halle."
Inna asks, "Can we move already?"
"Wait, it's dangling to the right," says Ryan, "Now to the left.... You can-"
Before Ryan can finish his sentence, Lana runs trying to get past it. Needless to say, on the wrong time.
Ryan's eyes widen as he sees the iron beam reaching Lana's head, "Lana!" he yells, diving at her direction while the camera is in slow-motion. The heroic act ends up with Ryan face-first on the floor, thanks to his bad eyesight. A loud noise is then heard right before Lana falls next to him with some blood visible on the side of her head.
The screen fades as Chris screams, "Emergency!"
Ryan wakes up on a medical center bed, back on the ship, surrounded by his team members, except Lana, "Where am I?" he asks.
"We are on the ship," says Halle.
Ryan asks,"What about the challenge"
"We lost," says Terry, "You stopped dancing to save Lana, which was against the rules."
"Oh my gosh, Lana!" yells Ryan, "Where is she now?"
Inna says, "On the medical center, her accident was more serious."
Ryan says, "More serious? Wait," he puts his hand on his nose, "What happened to me!?"
"You broke your nose, bro," says Halle, nonchalantly.
Ryan says, worried, "What about Lana? Is she okay now?"
"Hopefully," says Inna, "They might be applying the stitches now," Ryan looks down, sadly.
Ryan is shown on the confessional, "It's all my fault. I let my team down, I let Lana down... I don't care if I'm out tonight," he sighs.
Lana is shown in the confessional wearing a head cast, "I don't feel that well, but luckily I can continue in the game. I juts have some temporary hearing problems now," she smiles, "It was really nice of Ryan to try and save me. Unfortunately it didn't end too well..." she sighs.
The Soaring Seagulls are shown at the elimination ceremony, sitting on their usual folding chairs, except Lana, who is sitting in a wheelchair while wearing a head cast, looking beat.
"Hello, Soaring Seagulls," says Chris.
"What?" asks Lana, loudly.
Inna says, "Chris, Lana was hit on her left temple with an iron bar. She can't hear too well right now."
Chris says, "Hmm, I understand..." he grabs a megaphone from behind him and screams on it, "No problem, I have this!" while the contestants cover their ears.
Lana says, "Oh, that's better. Thank you," she smiles.
"I have four marshmallows in that plate," yells Chris while lifting said plate, "And they go to..."
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Halle."
"Inna."
"Terry."
Chris says, still on the megaphone, "I have one marshmallow on my plate. Ryan, you sacrificed your team's victory, only to miserably fail on achieving your goal."
"I understand," says Ryan.
"Lana," says Chris, "You also cost the team, while trying to be as awesome as Halle. You know no one can do that."
Lana sighs.
Chris says, "The last marshmallow of the night goes to..."
"Lana," says Chris before throwing a marshmallow to the girl on the wheelchair.
Ryan gets up, "Fair enough," he says.
Halle waves to him, "Bye bye, Ryan."
Ryan enters the Lifesaver of Losers and says, "Before I go, I'd like to ask something..."
The competitors look at him eagerly.
"Lana..." he says, "Would you be my girlfriend?"
"Awwwwww," say Terry and Inna together.
Lana puts her hand near her left ear, "What? I can't hear you!"
Ryan says louder, "Would you be my-"
Chris cuts the boat's rope, causing it to fall on the ocean while Ryan screams.
"Well, he had enough time," says Chris, "Now that the cast is halfway gone, they are even closer to the million dollars. What will happen next, on S.S. Total Drama!"
"What?" shouts Lana.
Chapter 11 - Tastes Like a Million Dollars[]
Chris is shown standing in the middle of a lower-class neighborhood, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama," he says, "The contestants traveled to South Korea, where the totally authentic Korean pop star Psy made a guest appearance. After learning an embarrassing dance, Ryan and Meredith had to lead their team through an obstacle course. Due to Lana's envy of Halle, she put herself in a dangerous position, and when we all thought Ryan was finally going to make his move, he epically fails and costs the victory to his team," Chris laughs, "What a loser. Today it's finally the merge, which friendships will form, which conflicts will start, and who will be eliminated next on S.S. Total Drama!"
The episode starts exactly from where the last one left out, after the Soaring Seagull's last elimination ceremony.
Chris says, "Oh, and one more thing, I would like you guys to tell the other team you are officially merged!"
The Soaring Seagulls cheer.
Terry turns to Lana, "Wow, how did you hear that?" she asks.
"No idea," says Lana, "I think my hearing problems were meant to last just an episode," she shrugs.
Chris says, "As a new merged team, I give you guys the obligation to give the Clam Chowders this news!"
Halle sarcastically says, "Woohoo. What a prize."
Chris says, "Want another member eliminated?"
"No, thanks," says Inna.
Chris says, "So... Go!"
The ex-Soaring Seagull members are in front of the Clam Chowders cabin with Mallory.
"What?" asks Mallory, "The merge?!"
Patricia joins them, "Of course it's the merge, we have half of the contestants left. Ugh, looks like you've never watched Total Drama."
Mallory says, "So, since it's the merge... Why don't we throw a party!"
Patricia starts, "I don't think-"
"Hell yeah!" says Halle.
"Agreed," Terry says.
Louie pops out of the door, "Count me in!"
Patricia sighs, "Fine," she says.
The recently merged contestants are shown sitting at a table in the dining area, where there is a radio playing Illana Santana songs.
"Who brought this horrible music?" asks Halle
The former Clam Chowders all glare at Louie.
Halle rolls her eyes, "Go figure," she says before getting up to get food.
Carlos gets up and follows her. Mallory shifts her eyes and follows Carlos.
Mallory is shown in the confessional, "I may appear to be dumb, but you know what? Carlos is totally after Halle, so he can ditch me for a stronger ally."
On the way to Halle, Mallory tells Carlos, "Hello! I came here to get food with you. Isn't that why you came for?"
"No, it wasn't," says Carlos. He walks to Halle, with Mallory following him.
Halle turns around, "What do you want?" she asks in a threatening tone.
"Nothing!" says Mallory, before turning to the dishes to get some salad.
Carlos says, "I want to ask you something."
Halle puts a steak on her plate and says, "Yes?"
"I can see you are a very strong competitor," says Carlos, "And also really loyal, so I propose an alliance."
Halle says nonchalantly, "Halle is a lone wolf," and walks away.
Carlos turns to Mallory, "Well, our alliance won't get any bigger."
"Stuck up *BLEEP*," says Mallory.
Carlos looks at her with wide eyes.
On the table, Lana is talking with Terry.
"And no matter what people say, your third novel is definitely your best!" says Lana.
Terry says, "I understand, I'm not that proud of it, though."
"But you should," says Lana, "The murderer was such a surprise. Speaking of surprise, I can't wait to see your next book, it promises!"
"Thank you, Lana," says Terry, "I'm glad you like my novels so much, I had no idea I could have such obsessive- I mean, passionate fans."
Lana says, "Yeah, you do. Did I mention my thoughts about your fifth one? Well, I love the widow, she is so eccentric! And-"
"Hey Terry!" says Halle, who is sitting on another table, "Come sit here with me!"
Terry gets up, "Bye Lana," she says.
Lana sighs and waits some seconds.
Lana is now shown in the confessional, "Wow, I just noticed the emptiness Ryan's absence left. There was no one to comfort me... Now I'm just..." she starts crying, "Wait," she turns to the camera, "I have an idea," she smiles deviously.
"Hey girls!" says Lana, "Lets join those girls there," she points to Halle and Terry's table, "They must be feeling lonely."
Mallory says, "You're right... Err... What's your name again?"
"Lana," she says, "Thank you."
The girls all sit on the other table.
"Hello girls," says Meredith, "We are here now, just for you," she smiles.
Terry offers a fake smile, "Thank you," she says.
Meredith says, "So, let's talk about ourselves. You know, se we can know each other better."
"Great idea, Meredith," says Patricia.
Mallory says, "Okay, I start. Hmm..." she starts tapping her chin, thinking of what to say.
"What?" asks Halle, "Are you so interesting you have nothing to say?"
Mallory says, "No! For your information, I won two beauty pageants."
"Cool," says Halle uninterested, "I just won 'Most Gorgeous Girl Of The School' seven years straight."
Mallory looks at her with obvious envy on her eyes.
Halle continues, "Unfortunately, they forbid me from running for it this year. They said I have to give other girls a chance. Go figure," she rolls her eyes.
Mallory keeps staring at while her left eye twitches. Lana puts a hand on her shoulders and says, "I know how you feel... Only if I-"
Terry interrupts her, "Wow, Halley! I didn't know you were that incredible! You are so awesome!"
"Thanks bro," says Halle, "You must be proud to be my best friend."
Lana yells, "Best friend!?"
"Yeah, what's wrong with it?" ask Halle, "Right, Terry Homey-Home VanBurren?"
Terry nods while smiling wide.
Lana scoffs, "Oh, what a best friend. You don't even know that Terry's full name is Teresa Cliff Cooper."
Terry's eyes get wide as she slides her chair slightly farther from Lana.
The amateur writer is shown in the confessional, "Okay, I understand that Lana is a fan of my stories, but there is a fine line between a fan and a stalker. And her comment made me really uncomfortable. I mean, I've never revealed my full name anywhere, how the heck did she knew it!"
Mallory gets up from the table and says to Lana, "Hey buddy, I'm going to get some food. Help me there, I can't... Umm..." she shifts her eyes, "Separate radishes from turnips."
Inna starts giggling, "Amateur," she says.
"Sure," says Lana, a little confused.
When they are far enough from their table, Mallory says, "What's with that Halle girl? She's horrible."
"I know, right? I hate her," says Lana, "But everyone loves her, there's nothing I can do."
"Yeah," says Mallory, "I bet she did some pretty nasty things to you."
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Come to think of it, Halle never did anything with the intention of hurting me," she smirks, "But I couldn't let that opportunity pass."
Lana says, "Oh yes! She stepped on my toe on purpose... Twice! And she keeps telling lies about me to Terry so she think I'm a loser."
"That's horrible," says Mallory, "I can't stand someone who makes up lies about other people."
Lana swallows eagerly, "Yeah, it's a very dirty attitude," she says uneasy.
Mallory says, "Girl, don't tell this to anyone, but I have an alliance in my team. What do you think of kicking that arrogant jerk out of here?
"Of course!" says Lana, "I have been anticipating that moment for a long time. But she is a huge mental and physical threat, we have to make sure she doesn't win every challenge out there."
"I will," says Mallory.
The girls shake hands and Lana returns to her table, while Mallory joins Lance, Carlos and Louie's table.
Louie gets up and opens his arms, "Mallory!" he says with a smile, "Come here and give me a hug my cotton candy angel!"
Mallory says, "Umm... Thank you for the compliment, but-"
Louie hugs her tight, while she looks uncomfortable, "Oh, thank you Mal-Mal, you're so sweet!" he says before sitting down again.
Mallory also sits at the men's table and says, "Listen up, I have a plan."
Lance snidely says, "Go ahead, strategical mastermind."
"I will," she says, "I discovered that this Lana girl absolutely hates Halle. And Halle is a huge physical and mental threat."
Carlos says, "I see where this is going..."
"It doesn't take a genius to see that," says Lance.
"Shut up Lance, Carlos is much smarter than you," says Mallory, "Now, you see where this is going. What do you think of voting for Halle?"
Carlos says, "Given the circumstances, I'm all for it."
"Sure," says Lance, "Just call Lana here so we can make sure."
Louie says, "I do whatever you say, my sweet strawberry pie."
Mallory cringes, but soon returns to normal, "Okay," she calls Lana, and the girl sits at her table, "I've already got Lana's vote on that, right?" she asks.
"Totally," says Lana.
Mallory smirks, "So tonight, that stuck up *BLEEP* will say bye-bye."
"Shh, language," says Louie.
On the other table, the former Soaring Seagull girls are chatting.
Meredith turns to Patricia, "We are such outsiders in this table."
"Yeah," says Patricia, "But it was like that on our team too," she laughs.
Meredith says, "You know, we could do something to call their attention."
"Sure," says Patricia, "Like align with them in an attempt to completely backstab our former team?"
Meredith looks at her with wide eyes, "I thought of getting cupcakes, but your idea seems better," she says.
"Thank you," says Patricia while flipping her hair. She turns to the other girls and says, "Hey girls, I'd like to tell you something."
"We're all ears," says Halle uninterestedly.
Patricia says, "As you may know, me and Meredith," the camera shows Meredith waving with a goofy smile on her face, then goes back to Patricia "Are the outcasts of the Clam
Chowders."
Inna says, "Oh, I know what's coming now."
"Yeah," says Patricia, "We should join an alliance with you to eliminate the former Clam Chowders."
Terry says, "I'm all for it, that Carlos guy is dangerous. Have you seen him on Outlaster? He's a mastermind!"
Patricia starts breathing heavily, "Oh no! No! He isn't a mastermind, he is an arrogant jerk who should never see a TV camera anymore! That freaking excuse of a season was complete bull-"
"Enough!" says Meredith, "I'm tired of hearing you say this, can you stop now?"
Patrcia sighs and says, "Okay, I can... For now. Now, who is with me?"
All the girls agree with her.
"Nice," she says.
Inna says, "But Patricia, who will be our first target?"
"Isn't it obvious!" shouts Patricia, "Kentucky Freaking Carlos!"
Inna continues, "But what if-"
"Shut up!" Patricia barks, "I know Carlos won't win immunity, but if a miracle happens to him, we'll vote for Mallory. End of discussion!" she smiles sweetly, "Everyone agree?"
The girls nod, a little intimidated.
Halle gets up and says, "Well, it's getting late. I'm going to bed. Need to save my energy for tomorrow's challenge"
"Me too," says Terry, "It's, like... Totes late."
All the girls go with the crowd and end up going to their new 'Girls Cabin'.
The girls are shown sleeping in their cabin at night.
Some moaning noises are heard and Terry, once more, wakes up gasping.
Meredith abruptly wakes up, "What was that!?" she screams.
"You heard it too?" asks Terry, "I thought I was the only one."
Meredith says, "Yeah, I heard it. I hope those gasping sounds aren't frequent," she lies down again.
Terry sighs, rolls her eyes, and lies down too, "When I thought there was someone who understood me..." she whispers before closing her eyes. Some seconds later, the moaning noises are heard again and her eyes shot open.
The next morning, the boys are sleeping in their cabin, only to be waken up by the ship's chimney followed by Chris on the loudspeaker, "We have arrived at our next destination, Mexico! Get on your team-vans near the harbor and follow my car to the TV studio!"
Lance yawns, "TV studio again?" he asks.
"Maybe Chris is running out of challenges," says Carlos.
Louie says, "Or he wants to make us an uber fun surprise!"
Lance looks ah Louie for some seconds, then says, "Nah."
On the TV studio, the contestants are standing near a barrel in the middle of a scenographic lower-class neighborhood.
"Where is Chris?" asks Louie, "He seems to be always there before us."
Meredith says, "I don't know, let's just wait for-"
In this moment, Chris jumps out of the barrel and shouts, "Are you ready!"
Terry jumps and screams, "Holy crap, Chris, do you want to kill me!?"
Chris shifts his eyes, "Of course not," he says innocently. He speaks normally now, "But onto the challenge, this one is my favorite so far. I planned everything, and I love every detail of it. Each team-"
"Um, Chris," says Patricia.
"What?" asks the host impatiently.
Patricia says, "Didn't the teams merge yesterday?"
Chris stares at her blankly for a moment, "Damn it!" he yells.
Chris is shown in the confessional, "I can't believe I spent my time thinking of this challenge by myself, it were three whole minutes of brainstorming! Now it's all ruined!"
Back on the neighborhood, the host says, "Well, since the challenge has been ruined by our resident party pooper Patricia, I have to think of a replacement challenge..." Chris taps his chin for some seconds and shouts, "Chef!"
"Chef?" asks Lance, "I thought he had died or something."
Chef comes and Chris whispers something in his ear. He leaves the area and soon comes back pushing with a huge table with ten covered plates.
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Oh no, not an eating challenge!"
Halle is shown in the confessional, "Yes! An eating challenge. Halle isn't disgusted by anything."
Chris explains to the contestants, "We have ten plates with ten burritos each. This challenge will be very simple, the first person to eat all of them first wins, Oh, and one more thing, if you throw up you are out!"
Inna raises her hand, "Chris," she says, "I'm a vegetarian, I can't eat that."
"Me neither," says Terry.
Chris strokes his chin, "I'll see what I can do for you..." he says, "Oh, I know! You're out!"
"What?" the girls ask together.
Chris says, "If your beliefs are keeping you away from a million dollars, it's not my problem. I can give your burritos to our starving interns- I mean, to our beloved interns," he laughs nervously.
"Chris, can we starts," asks Carlos, "I'm starving!"
"Sure," says Chris, "You can start... Now!"
Most of the competitors start eating as fast as they can. Halle and Carlos are on the lead, followed by Louie and Lance. Meredith is doing a slightly better than Mallory and Patricia, but the three of them are mediocre. Meanwhile, Lana slowly nibbles on her first burrito.
Louie is shown in the confessional, "Yummy yummy in my tummy!"
Mallory says in the confessional, "The burrito was quite tasty, I can't deny that, but eating ten of them? And before those monsters like Halle and Carlos? That's impossible!"
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "There is no way I can win that, but I can still try to make our target lose. And I know exactly what to do," she smirks.
The competition continues in the same uninteresting pace as before, but when Carlos finishes his tenth burrito, Patricia gets close to him and whispers a single word on his ear, "Fafaru."
Carlos immediately turns his head to the right and vomits all over Patricia, starting a chain reaction of vomit from other contestants, except Halle and Patricia herself.
Patricia screams loudly in utter disgust, but soon realizes something, "Hey, Chris!" she yells, "He puked, disqualify him!"
"Well, I can't," says Chris, "Carlos vomited only after eating all of the burritos, and that is perfectly allowed. So in summary, you juts got a shower of digested burrito for nothing," he laughs.
Patricia's eye starts twitching.
Chris adds, "Oh, and Carlos has just won immunity!"
Halle burps, "So I ate all that for nothing?" she asks.
Carlos starts cheering while pumping his fist, while Mallory, Louie and Lance applaud him.
"This is bull*BLEEP*!" screams Patricia, "You will pay, Chris McRigging and Media-Hog Carlos!," she storms off the studio screaming, "You will pay!" only to slip in a puddle of vomit and hit her face on the floor.
Carlos asks Chris, "Do you think she is okay?"
"Meh," says Chris, "We'll see that later."
Patricia is shown in the confessional. She is trembling and twitching her left eye, bearing insanity, "Worst. Day. Ever!" she turns her head sideways and hits the other side with her open hand, "I think I still have vomit in my ear!" she screams.
The contestants are all shown in the Elimination Ceremony site, sitting in their usual folding chairs.
Chris says, "Welcome to your first Elimination Ceremony as independent contestants. You've come a long way."
Some of them smile proudly.
"Only to one's dream end today," says Chris grinning as they frown, "I have nine marshmallows with me," he continues, "But only-"
"Chris," interrupts Lance, "We haven't voted yet."
Chris stares ate him blankly, "Oops, you're right. What are you waiting for!?"
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "My vote is for Hailee... That's her name right? Oh, you know, the short haired girl, chestnuts on her shirt..."
Patricia is shown in the confessional, looking beat, "Mallory... What? Stop filming me!"
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Finally, it's time to get that obstacle off my way. My vote is for Halle."
Inna is shown in the confessional, "My vote is for Mallory. At least I think that was what Patricia proposed..."
The scene returns to the Elimination Ceremony, where Chris says, "Now that you already voted, I have nine marshmallows with me, and they go to..."
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Our first challenge-winner, and very tough competitor, both mentally and physically, Carlos!"
"Lana."
"Meredith."
"Louie."
"Inna."
"Terry."
"Lance."
Patricia says, "What now!? I'll be on the bottom two to make my day even better!?"
"Patricia," say Chris, throwing the marshmallow to her.
She gets the marshmallow and looks down.
Chris says, "I have one marshmallow and two competitors... Halle and Mallory, the last marshmallow goes to..."
"Oh my, it's a tie!" says Chris.
The contestants gasp, except for Halle.
"What do we do now, Chris?" asks Mallory.
Chris says, "Well, before a tiebreaker challenge, I would like to let you girls have your plea. After that, everyone besides you two will vote once again for either Halle or Mallory... And with a twist, but first, Mallory, you can start your plea."
The blonde says, "Well, first of all, I would like to let you all know I'm much less of a threat than Halle there. That girl is tougher than all guys here! And I'm not as intelligent as her either, remember that time I ate a hockey puck thinking it was a cookie?"
Lance raises an eyebrow, "Mallory, that never happened," he says.
"Shut up!" she barks.
Chris says, "Time is over! Halle, your plea now."
Halle clears her throat, "I'm awesome," she says.
Everyone stares blankly at Halle while Terry applauds her.
"Okay..." says Chris, "You can vote now. Louie, you first!"
Louie gets up.
"Wait a moment!" says Chris, "Where do you think you're going?"
Louie says, "To the confessional booth. Didn't you tell me to vote?"
Chris says, "But there is a twist!"
"There's always a twist," says Lace, rolling his eyes.
Chris continues, "The twist is... You'll have to vote here, in front of everyone!"
"Big deal," says Carlos.
Chris says, "So you can start voting, Louie!"
Louie says, "My vote goes for Halle, I could never vote out my Mal-Mal marshmallow angel!"
Chris shudders, "Inna, now you!" he says.
Inna says, "I'll vote for Mallory."
"Terry," says Chris.
Terry says, "I can't let my Halley go, so my vote goes to Mallory."
"Lance," says Chris.
Lance says, "I vote for Halle, because... Well, I don't like you."
"Thanks," says Halle, indifferent.
Patricia and Meredith vote for Mallory, while Carlos vote for Halle.
Chris says, "Lana, the final vote is yours. If you vote for Halle, the girls will go to the tiebreaker challenge. Now, if you vote for Mallory, then it's her time to take the Lifesaver of Losers. The decision is yours."
Lana looks at Mallory, who gives her a reassuring smile.
The petite girl then looks to the side and sees Terry crying on Halle's shoulder, "You can't leave me!" Terry cries, "I don't know what I'll do if you're out now! I will quit for you, Halle!"
Lana's eyes widen.
"Get on with it!" says Chris, "We only have three minutes left on our time slot!"
Lana closes her eyes and says, "My vote goes to..."
"Mallory," says Lana, visibly ashamed, while looking at the ground.
"What the hell!" screams Mallory at the top of her lungs, "You bastard! How can you do that!"
Lana keeps looking at the ground, "I'm sorry."
"Hell no!" screams Mallory, "If you get to the final, my jury vote can go to anyone but you! Even that jerk Halle!"
Lana starts crying while looking down.
Mallory starts, "And one more thing-"
Chris snaps his fingers and Chef arrives on cue. He grabs Mallory and drags her to the Lifesaver of Losers, then leaves dusting off his hands while the boat descends to the ocean.
Chris says, "What a pleasant goodbye," he chuckles, "Will the former Clam Chowders still accept Lana? Will Terry finally have a good night sleep? And will Inna finally do anything interesting since Foreman's elimination? Find out next time, on S.S. Total Drama!"
Chapter 12 - Kelly-Fornia Girl[]
Chris is shown standing in a sunny beach as he starts the recap, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama! The contestants reached the merge, and new alliances were formed. Lana grew tired of Halle, and finally put her plan in action, while former Clam Chowders outcasts Meredith and Patricia worked together to eliminate their original team. Carlos dominated our most totally dramatic challenge yet, and by totally dramatic, I mean with lots of vomit! It was about time someone puked this season," he laughs, "In the first, and hopefully last tie of the season, Mallory and Halle ended up with five votes each, but after an open vote, Lana changed her mind ultimately eliminating her ally Mallory, who did not take it very well. We only have nine competitors left, and one of them will be eliminated tonight on S.S. Total Drama!"
The episode starts right where the previous one ended, after Mallory's elimination.
Lance, Carlos and Louie look at Lana with disapproval.
"I'm sorry, guys," she says, "I-"
Lance stands up and says, "There's no excuse for what you did. Come on guys, lets get away from that traitor."
While the boys walk away, Carlos' voice is heard, "Hey, since when were you the leader?"
Terry and Halle approach Lana. Terry says, "Thank you for keeping Halle around, Lana. I wonder who changed their vote from Halle to Mallory, do you have any idea?"
"No idea," says Lana.
"Oh, too bad," says Terry.
Inna says, "Let's get some sleep, girls. This was a long elimination ceremony."
"You can go," says Terry, "I think I'm going to get a glass of milk before."
Halle says, "As you wish," and all girls except Terry go to their cabin.
Terry is shown entering the dining area, the lights are out due to the very late time. She walks towards the kitchen, but stops once she hears some noises, "What was that?" she asks herself.
Some unintelligible mumbling is heard from the kitchen. Terry starts sweating, "Oh my God, what could that be?" she runs towards her cabin and shuts the door while breathing heavily. In the cabin, everyone is already sleeping except for Halle and Lana.
Halle asks, "What's going on, Terry McTerryson?"
"What?" asks Terry, "That's not even my name."
Halle sighs, "I see you don't appreciate my efforts to sound cool, dawg."
"No, no, that's not it," says Terry, "You are awesome. But there's something going on in the kitchen, I heard some strange noises."
Halle says, "Oh, it might just be rats."
"Talking rats?" asks Terry.
Halle asks, "Wait, they talked?"
"Kinda," says Terry, "It was more of a mumble, but I'm sure rats don't do that."
Lana says, "Well, Terry, looks like a mystery waiting to be solved! What do you say?"
Terry offers a smile, "Yeah, totally, we will... Work on it," she lays on her bed and says, "Night!"
Lana is shown on the confessional, "Can you imagine? Me and Terry on our own investigative adventures? That will be awesome! I'll totally write a book about it once we are out of here."
Some noises that sound like chains being dragged are heard, while Terry is shown turning around on her bed, "First the moaning, now those noises. What could that be?" she asks herself.
Even though this was supposed to be a reality show, Terry hears a voice on her subconscious, "You will regret once you feel the wrath of the ancestral spirits!" her eyes widen as she says, "Take me out of this place."
In the next morning, the girls wake up to the loudspeaker, "We have reached our next destination, Los Angeles, California! I'll see you at the docks in twenty minutes, there you will take your vans to the nearby shopping mall, where the challenge will take place. "
Lana wakes up, "Being waken up by Chris again? Great," she says sarcastically.
"Woke up on the snide side today?" asks Halle, "Control yourself, or you might lose some friends."
Terry gets up, "Hello girls," she says groggily, with bags under her red, swollen eyes.
Inna jumps out of her bed upon seeing Terry, "Holy cow, what's that!?"
Patricia and Meredith wake up due to Inna's scream, "What was that for?"
Terry asks while feeling her face, "Do I look that ugly?"
Patricia dryly says, "It looks like someone mauled you in your sleep."
"Aww," says Meredith, "Don't be so mean, Pat. Terry looks... Adorable," she smiles.
"Thanks girls," says Terry, "Now let's go meet Chris."
The contestants are standing near Chris, in front of a shopping mall
"What are we waiting for again?" asks an impatient Lance.
Chris says, "Our guest said she would be here at three. Blame her, not me!"
A jeep arrives, driven be a redhead with curly hair. She is wearing khaki shorts, light green tank top and sunglasses, "Did I arrive late?" she asks taking off her sunglasses, and steps out of the car, "I'm pleased to keep you waiting, my name is Kelly Parker, model and actress from California."
"Model and actress?" asks Lance, "More like unemployed waiting to be called to a reality show."
Kelly turns to him, "Says the guy who looks like he's auditioning to Jersey Shore," she scoffs.
Lance is shown in the confessional, "And I stood there waiting for my own comeback at that girl. I just couldn't think of one!"
Chris says, "Now that you all had the pleasure to meet Kelly..."
Patricia coughs twice.
"We can continue to the challenge," says Chris, "Our guest will ask you questions and make you perform a variety of tasks to decide which of you would be more fit to be her best friend!"
Lance scoffs, "Because I totally want to befriend that hag."
"Excuse me!" says a livid Kelly.
Chris interrupts them, "Shush! Keep the fights for the challenge! Now the winner of this challenge will get a special reward, as well as immunity."
Some of the contestants cheer.
"I will leave the show in Kelly's hands now," says Chris, as he gets a bucket of popcorn and sits in a nearby bench, "Start!"
Kelly says, "First things first. Get in line!"
After the contestants stand besides each other in a line, Kelly continues, "Why do you think you could be my new best friend," she points to Terry, who is in the far right, "You!"
Terry, still looking horrible from the lack of sleep, says, "Well, I'm-"
"Oh my God!" screams Kelly, "Who mauled you in your sleep!?"
Patricia tells Meredith, "Told you."
Terry says half asleep, "Sorry, I had a terrible night," she yawns, "As I was saying, I'm a writer-"
Kelly scoffs, "A writer? Get a real job!"
"Says the model and actress," Lance snidely says.
"At least I have a job," Says Kelly. She points at Meredith and says, "Now you!"
Meredith laughs nervously, "Well, I..." she looks up while tapping her chin.
"Wow," says Kelly, "Looks like you're so interesting you have nothing to talk about yourself. Next!" she yells pointing at Carlos.
Carlos says, "Well, I am the famous Kentucky Carlos, and I'm sure a gorgeous and famous lady like you needs company from an equally famous gentleman."
Kelly thinks for a moment and says, "Hmm... You pass the first test. Wait near my jeep for further instructions."
Carlos follow's Kelly's command.
"Next!" says Kelly, pointing at Inna.
Inna says, "I'm a very cheerful person, and I can make you live an active and healthy life. Besides-"
Kelly interrupts, "I need a best friend, not a personal trainer. Next!" she points to Louie.
Louie open his arms and walks in her direction while saying, "Oh, Kelly. You smell like passion-fruit flowers on the spring," he hugs her tight.
"Get out, creep!" she says while pushing him aside, "Now you!" she says pointing at Patricia.
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Okay, I got the perfect speech," she shifts her eyes, "Even though it doesn't tell exactly the truth."
Patricia says, "Well, my name is Patricia, and I am a very easygoing person. I enjoy shopping, having long telephone conversations with my BFFs, and having my nails painted. I am an avid fan of gossips about famous people, and-"
Meredith says, "Wow, Pat! I'm learning a whole new side about you now. I thought you said that gossip news were a huge waste of time and that girly girls annoyed you to no end!"
Patricia brings her hand to her forehead while Kelly yells, "Next!" pointing at Lance.
Lance says, "Well, you are a mean girl, and everybody knows that a mean girl needs a sassy gay friend!"
"You're gay?" asks Kelly surprised, "Yaaay, we can do our nails together!"
Lance raises an eyebrow, "Do our nails? Girl, I'm a dude, not your younger sister!"
Kelly scoffs, "Not gay enough. Next!"
"Anorexic hag!" yells Lance.
"Overbuilt Oopma Loompa!" Kelly fights back.
"Go back to the club and drink your daddy's allowance!" he replies.
"Go back to the club and ride some disco sticks!" she yells.
Chris gets a megaphone and says in it, "Excuse me Mrs. Parker, I said I wouldn't interrupt your show but I have to do it before you destroy our PG-13 limit. You can continue your interviews now. McLean out!" the host sits back on his bench.
Kelly points to Halle, "Now you!"
Halle says, "I'm awesome."
Kelly looks at her dramatically for a moment and says, "You pass!"
"I knew I would," Halle says nonchalantly.
"Next!" says Kelly
Lana asks, "Who, me?"
"Of course!" screams Kelly, "Is there anyone left? I don't think so."
Lana blushes and says, "Well, my name is Lana, I'm kinda shy, so..."
"Ew," says Kelly, "That's it. The relatively famous guy and the girl who is almost as awesome as me can go to the second phase," she points to Carlos and Halle, "The rest can all wait crammed into my jeep."
The contestants start running towards the jeep.
"Wait a moment!" says Kelly, "Take of your shoes first, I don't want my jeep smelling like dog crap!"
The contestants do so and walk sadly to the jeep.
Kelly turns to Carlos, "You come first. Halle, you can wait here while my maid serve you some tea."
"Oh cool," says Halle nonchalantly, "I didn't know you brought maids."
Kelly says, "Oh, I didn't," she turns in her jeep's direction and says, "Lana, isn't it? The one with jet-black hair. Serve some tea to this lady who is twenty times prettier than you'll ever be!"
Lana gets out of the jeep reluctantly carrying a cup of tea. She gets near Halle and puts the cup in her hands.
"Thank you, broski," says Halle.
Lana turns around and slouches to the jeep.
Lana is shown in the confessional, "I cannot believe I just did that. That was probably the most downgrading moment in my entire life, and Halle must have felt like a queen getting served by her lackey. Sometimes I think I really am a lackey..."
Kelly says, "Okay, Halle! You wait there while I go shopping with Carl."
"It's Carlos," the man corrects.
"Whatever!" says Kelly, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him to the shopping mall.
On the shopping mall, Kelly and Carlos are shown in a frozen yogurt stand, across from a newspaper stand.
Kelly says, "So, you say you're famous. How famous?"
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Well, I couldn't say I am more famous than her, or else I would have lost on the spot."
Carlos says, "Relatively famous, I've made a couple of commercials."
"Oh, nice," says Kelly, "They called me for a soap brand commercial yesterday, and-" she stops mid-sentence and starts squinting her eyes in the direction of the nearby newspaper stand.
"What's the matter?" asks Carlos, "Did you say something you shouldn't?"
Kelly says, "Wait a moment... Isn't that you in that gossip magazine?"
Carlos says, "Of course not, I'm not that famous."
"Yes, that is you next to that lady!" Kelly gets up and grabs Carlos by his arm, "Come with me," she drags him to the newspaper stand.
Once there, Kelly grabs a magazine with Carlos, his wife and a baby on the cover, "Outlaster legendary couple Kentucky Carlos and Ember Jay's second daughter, Karin, is born," she reads.
Carlos says, "Well, that is..."
"You're more famous than me!" yells Kelly, "How can I let someone who may overshadow me be my best friend!?"
Kelly is shown shouting at Carlos while getting out of the shopping mall, "You liar! Go stand in that jeep with the other losers!"
Carlos enters the jeep with the other contestants while Patricia laughs at him.
Meredith glares at Patricia, and the latter folds her arms and looks to the side.
Kelly says, "Halle, now you! But if you suck like the other guy no one will win this damn challenge!"
Halle stands proud and enters the shopping mall with Kelly.
In the jeep, Terry says to Lana, "Oh, I'm sure Halle will be incredible at the challenge," she yawns once again, "That girl is awesome!"
Lana says, "I don't think so, she may-"
At that moment, Kelly exits the shopping mall laughing hysterically, "Oh my God, that girl is the best! I was thoroughly entertained by her sarcastic quips, any other person should deserve a girl like that as her best friend!"
Kelly is shown in the confessional complaining, "To tell the truth, I'm just doing that challenge because I was payed for it. I don't want a best friend. Heck, I don't even like people!" she changes to a sweet tone, "But being with Halle just makes my heart grow three times bigger."
Lana says to Terry, "Yeah, I guess you're right."
Terry nods and falls asleep.
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Wow, I guess Halle is as awesome as Terry says. Maybe too awesome... No, I have to focus on getting rid of Carlos first! And I'll do it today!" she starts laughing maniacally.
Chris screams on the megaphone, "Halle is the winner!"
"Can't say I didn't see that coming," says Halle.
Terry hugs her, "I know right? You're awesome!"
Chris says, "So, as the winner of the challenge, you will also get a special reward."
"I'm all ears," says Halle.
Chris says, "You've just won... A whole day at the shopping mall with Kelly Parker!"
Kelly cheers, "Yes! She's the only decent person in the entire world!"
Terry hugs Halle, "Aww, I'll miss you for the day," she says, "Take care Halley!"
Halle says, "Don't worry, no one will ever surpass you in my friend-meter."
"Aww, you're so sweet," says Terry, still groggily.
"Halle is not sweet," says Halle, "Halle is awesome."
Terry laughs, "Oh, you're hilarious," the girls hug again, and Terry raises an eyebrow as she feels something sliding down her back pocket.
Kelly grabs Halle by the arm and starts dragging her to the shopping mall.
Terry puts her hand on her back pocket and take out a paper. She reads it silently and gasps, "I can't believe that," she says.
The contestants are back in the cruise ship, except Halle, who is 'enjoying' her reward.
In the boys cabin, Louie says, "Guys, we are done by now. I liked while it lasted."
Carlos says, "I guess I can still change one of the girls' mind about alliances, but we barely have hopes."
"Don't worry," says Lance, "I already did my job," he smirks.
Carlos says, "Well, I hope so. You better not disappoint me."
"Or me," says Louie, "Right?"
"Sure, Louie," says Lance, "Sure."
In the girls' cabin, Inna starts, "Well, I think we all should-"
"Vote for Carlos!" says Patricia.
Inna says, "Excuse me, can I suggest something first?"
"Does it matter?" asks Patricia.
Inna is shown in the confessional, "Ugh, that Patricia chick don't even let me talk, all she thinks about is getting rid of Carlos. I am a thinking person too! Sometimes I even consider aligning with Carlos, maybe he likes to listen to other people."
Patricia continues, "As we all know, Carlos is vulnerable now, and besides being obviously the leader of his little alliance, he is like a disease spreading through reality shows! We have to get rid of that disgusting, egomaniac, completely insufferable-"
"Okay, we get it!" says Meredith, "We know he is all smart and awesome, and is obviously leading the guys who are against us, but-"
Terry interrupts, "Um, guys."
"Yes?" everyone say at the same time.
Terry says, "Well, I wouldn't be so sure if Carlos is all that you say he is."
Meredith says, "What do you mean? Of course he is that magnificent genius we all know and love."
Patricia glares at Meredith.
"I-I mean, we all hate the guts of," Meredith says.
"Nope," says Terry, "Because look what I got here!" she pulls a piece of paper from her back pocket.
Inna gets near her and says, "Oooh, what is it?"
"See yourselves," says Terry, showing it to everyone.
Lana reads it, "'Louie is the mastermind'. And it's signed by 'The All Seeing Halle'!"
Many reactions of shock are seen from the girls.
"I can't believe this," says Patricia, "She must be crazy."
Terry says, "But it's Halle. How can you doubt her?" she yawns again.
Lana rolls her eyes.
Patricia says, "Well, we can't say she is perfect."
"But she is," says Terry, "In our first day here, she saved me from elimination by knowing that Cillian was the one to sabotage the team, while no one else knew."
Patricia says, "We will see..."
The contestants, except Halle, are shown in the Elimination Ceremony site, sitting in their usual folding chairs.
Chris says, "Welcome to the Elimination Ceremony, guys. Halle must be coming soon."
Terry says, "Oh, the girl must be suffering in Kelly's hands."
Halle is shown in a steakhouse drinking from a bottle of beer while Kelly, and lots of men, pound on the table screaming, "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"
Chris says, "I say she must be coming in some minutes."
Halle arrives at the Elimination Ceremony site on cue, and Terry hugs her, "I missed you, Halley!"
"Okay," says Chris, "Let's vote already, we've waited too much for her to come."
Terry is shown in the confessional, "Halle knows what she's doing, I trust her. My is for Louie."
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Carlos. I'm not changing my mind no matter what those delusional chicks say."
The scene goes back to the Elimination Ceremony, where Chris holds a plate with eight marshmallows.
"I have a tray of marshmallows with me," says Chris, "But there are too many people for too few marshmallow. And these meaningful treats go to..."
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Halle."
"Inna."
"Meredith."
"Lance."
"Patricia."
"Terry."
"Lana."
Louie hugs Carlos in fear, while the latter looks indifferent.
Chris lifts the last marshmallow, "And the final marshmallow of the night goes to..."
"Carlos!" says Chris, "Louie, I'm sorry, but your time has come."
Louie asks, "What did I do?"
"Oh, playing the innocent card," says Terry, "Halle here knows your true colors."
"I what?" Halle asks surprised.
Terry looks at Halle with wide eyes, "But I..."
"See?" asks Patricia, "I told you! We wasted a perfect chance to vote our true enemy out!"
Lance smirks.
Louie says, "Okay, I have no idea what you guys are talking about, so I'm going. But before..." Louie hugs every single player tightly, and sends a kiss while boarding the Lifesaver of Losers, "Goodbye guys! I'm finally meeting my princess Mallory again! See you!" he says with a huge smile.
Chris says to the camera, "Aww, the guy was happy when he was voted off? I was waiting for something more dramatic. Will the men's alliance continue failing? Was Halle completely unaware of the message? And where are we visiting next, on S.S. Total Drama!"
Chapter 13 - Missing The Action?[]
Chris is shown standing in a peculiar place that seems to be set on the Stone Age, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama! We visited California, even though we barely saw the place. Our special guest Kelly Parker made everything more interesting with her... Pleasant personality. In a challenge to win Kelly's cold heart, Halle ended up victorious and won a day with Kelly in the shopping mall as well as immunity. But it was a message, supposedly from her friend Halle, that surprised Terry and her alliance when they found out it said Louie was the mastermind in the opposite alliance. Even though some of them didn't agree with the decision, Louie was sent home. Who will be eliminated tonight, on S.S. Total Drama!"
The contestants are shown walking away from last night's elimination ceremony.
Terry says to Halle, "Hey, buddy, I want to go to my cabin, but I'm really scared. Can you go with me?"
"Sure, Terry Terryster bro," says Halle, "I'll make sure to protect you from everything."
Terry smiles and the girls walk to the cabin. Once in the hallway, both hear the moaning sound.
"You hear it now?" says Terry, scared.
Halle says, "Oh, yes I do. Wanna investigate?"
"I kinda do, but..." she says sobbing, "I'm really scared."
"Come here," says Halle, taking Terry to the cabin to sit on its bed, "You don't have to be afraid, what can these noises be?"
Terry starts shivering, "S-sp-sp- Oh, I can't even utter it," she says in panic.
"You're not making sense, bro," says Halle, "Speak up."
Terry says, "Remember when Xavier left the ship?"
"Sure."
"Remember his last words?" asks Terry.
Halle says, "Oh, something about the wishy-washy ghosts?"
"The ancestral spirits," says Terry, "Do you think the are after us?"
Halle starts laughing.
"Don't do that, Halley!" shouts Terry, "I'm scared."
Halle says, "Bro, you have to be strong. What if I get- Oh no, that's impossible."
"What?" asks Terry.
At this moment, Lana walks towards the cabin with a glass of milk and some cookies. Once she hears Halle and Terry, the girl gets near the door and stays there.
Lana is shown in the confessional, "I felt kinda bad for spying on them, but I let the curiosity take the better of me."
Terry says, "I don't know if I'll be able to stay here if you are voted off."
"Don't be silly," says Halle, "You'll be voted off before me."
Terry says, "But if you are out before me, I'll quit."
"No you won't," says Halle.
"Why?"
Halle says, "Because you can't. You have to trust me."
"I do trust you," says Terry, "But I... Okay, I promise. I won't ever quit for silly reasons."
"And what's a silly reason?" asks Halle.
Terry says tearfully, "You being voted off."
Lana is shown in the confessional, "That's all I needed to hear. Now excuse me, I have to plot against Halle and hope I succeed."
Lana enters the cabin, "Oh, hi girls! I'm so tired, excuse me," she lies in a bed.
Terry and Halle look at each other suspiciously, but they shrug and also go to sleep.
In the next Morning, Lance and Carlos are waking up in their cabin.
Lance yawns, "Good morning, Carlos," he says, "Ready to get the our daily morning meal?"
Carlos forces a smile, "Sure, I need some bacon and eggs."
The boys get up and head to the dining area.
Lance is shown in the confessional, "Wow, that Carlos guy sure isn't as obnoxious as he was on TV. We're actually being pretty good friends."
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Ugh, I can't wait for the day I'll not have to share my cabin with that queer," he says, "Things I do for an alliance..." Carlos snickers.
The girls are also shown waking up.
Terry is shown in the confessional, "I slept incredibly well this night, I can't believe it! And I only have Halle's encouraging words to thank," she smiles, "No one can be as perfect as that girl."
Meredith stretches and says, "Ah, I predict this day to be an awesome day for us!"
"Stop being so positive," says Patricia, "We have things to worry about."
Terry asks, "Like what?"
"Like planning how will we get rid of Carlos in the most humiliating way possible," says Patricia with a grin.
Inna says, "Girl, this obsession can't be healthy. You have to relax a little bit, enjoy your stay here, leave the strategizing for when it's necessary."
Patricia says with hatred in her voice, "It's always necessary to plot against that scum of the Earth. When he least expect, a humiliation conga will bite him in his fat ass!"
Inna says, "Girl, this obsession can't be healthy. Are you sure you really-"
"I'm totally fine!" yells Patricia, "Now, we have to make sure he doesn't win this challenge, but how?"
Inna says, "I suggest we forget him for a-"
"Never!" screams Patricia.
Inna says, "You're nuts, I'm out!" she leaves the cabin and slams the door.
Halle says, "Bro, the chick got fierce!"
"Are you sure you didn't lose a friend?" asks Meredith.
Patricia says, "She will come back once she realizes how repulsive that contemptible piece of crap is," she says, "They all do."
"Except Ember Birch," says Meredith.
"Oh, shut up!" replies Patricia.
In the dining area, Carlos and Lance are having breakfast.
"Man, these bacon and eggs are perfect!" says Carlos.
Lance pokes some eggs with his fork, "Blargh, too much cholesterol. I'm going to get a leek quiche," he gets up and heads to the kitchen.
Carlos chuckles, "Heh... Quiche. What a sissy," he looks at his plate of bacon and eggs and starts eating.
"Hello!" a shrieky voice interrupts him.
"Lance, are you taking hormones?" asks Carlos before looking up. Once he does, he realizes the voice comes from Inna, "Oh, it's you," he says.
Inna starts laughing, "Oh, you're so funny, Carlos!" she wipes a tear off her eye.
Carlos says, "And you're... Nina, right?"
"Inna," says the blonde, "We barely talk, but I'm really fond of you."
Carlos says, "Thanks. Most people are."
"You're so modest," says Lance dryly, while returning with a slice of leek quiche.
Inna smiles, "Oh, hello Lance," she says, "Gosh, I'm so alienated from you."
"Don't worry," says Carlos, "Aren't you here right now?"
Inna says, "Yes, I am... And I plan to stay."
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "Perfect! That's all we needed, now only if I can use her to bring information from the girls..."
Inna says, "I can't stand staying with those girls anymore, they're driving me crazy!"
"Are they that bad?" asks Carlos.
Inna says, "Not all of them, but there's-"
Chris voice sounds on the loudspeaker, "We have arrived at our next destination, a place most of you are familiar with. Meet me at the harbor and we will take a private bus from there!"
Carlos says, "As you were saying..."
"Oh sorry," says Inna, "I have to get my things before meeting Chris, you should be fast too!"
Carlos is shown, visibly angry, in the confessional, "Ugh, Chris, great timing."
The contestants are shown arriving by bus at a familiar gate.
Chris says, "Welcome, competitors. I'm pretty sure you all fondly remember this place."
Carlos says, "No idea."
"It does seem familiar," says Meredith.
Patricia laughs, "Oh, a superfan like me wouldn't forget. This is the film lot where Total Drama Action took place!"
"Thank you, Patricia," says Chris, "I'm glad-"
"That season sucked, by the way," says Patricia, dryly. Chris frowns.
Lance is shown in the confessional, "Well, I also knew that this is the studio where Total Drama Action took place. I just didn't want to be a braggart."
The contestants are shown in the Stone Age set from Total Drama Action, "Welcome to today's challenge!" says Chris, "The challenge will be divided in three parts, and be prepared, because thefirst one will involve lots of tar."
"TAR?" asks Patricia, excitedly, "I love that show! So much better than Total Drama, to be honest..."
Chris says, "Miss Patricia seems like she wants to get kicked out of the game today, am I right?"
"No, sir!" says Patricia, saluting.
"Good," says Chris turning back, "Follow me!" Patricia sticks out her tongue behind his back.
Chris arrives with the contestants in front of a large pool of tar, "True fans must remember this place from Total Drama Action."
"I do," says Patricia proudly, while many roll their eyes.
"Good for you," scoffs Lance.
"Ahem!" says Chris, "As I was saying, this place will be the site of a traditional Canadian sport... Log rolling!"
Terry says, "On a pool of tar?"
"Sure, why not?" says Chris, "I don't care if that's chemically impossible, we need different challenges!"
Halle says, "Sure, different. Have you already forgotten about Total Drama Island?"
Chris starts fiddling his fingers, "Well, that was years ago. Now to your logs!"
The scene cuts to each contestant standing in a log over the pool of probably fake tar, as the logs managed to float, and even roll on it.
Chris says, "The winner of this challenge will automatically be in the last part of the challenge, competing against the winner of the second part. Understood?"
Most of the contestants nod.
"Okay," says Chris, "When I blow my airhorn you can start... Go!" he says while blowing the airhorn.
After some seconds of rolling, Lana is the first to fall.
"Already?" asks Halle, "Why am I not-"
Suddenly, a hand comes out of the tar, grabs Halle's ankle and pulls her down into the water.
Chris, obviously not seeing Lana's stunt, says, "What a surprise! Halle falls right in the beginning. We can expect anything now!"
Halle and Lana return to ground, covered in tar, "Halle, I didn't expect you to fall so fast..."
In the background, Patricia falls into the tar, followed by Terry.
Lana continues, "You're so good at challenges and stuff."
Halle says, "I know, that was weird. But Halle never gives up."
Lance is heard yelling a curse word while falling off the log.
"Sure," says Lana, "Keep trying, you'll certainly win some."
Meredith's scream is heard while she falls into the tar.
Chris says, "Just two competitors remain: Inna, and Carlos, who is hanging on against a fitness instructor. That guy has stamina, he's unbeatable!"
Patricia motions her finger to her throat like she's about to vomit.
Chris continues, "Will it be Inna... Or Carlos! Carlos! Or... Inna?"
At this moment, Inna slips and falls off the log.
"Carlos goes to the final part!" announces Chris.
"Yes!" shouts Carlos, "I knew I'd win!"
Halle is shown in the confessional, "Hey, that's my motto!"
Chris says, "Now Carlos, you won't participate in the second part of this challenge. Instead, you will go against the winner of the second part in a third challenge, which will decide the winner."
Carlos says, "That's okay with me."
"So," says Chris, "The second part of the challenge is simple. It combines a classic Canadian sport with a weapon from the Stone Age, it's axe throwing!"
Halle says, "I got that one."
"Here's how it will work," says Chris, "Each competitor will throw an axe in that wooden target. The competitors who hit the bulls-eye continue playing, the ones who get it wrong are out. If no one gets it right on their first try, everyone gets another chance. Ready?"
"Yes!" the crowd says.
Chris says, "Okay, Inna, you first."
Inna throws the axe and it hits the target, but far from the bulls-eye.
"Aww," she says, "At least I tried."
Meredith is the next to throw, she struggles to get in a position to do so.
"Umm, Chris," she says, "This thing is too heavy!"
Chris barks, "I don't care, throw it!"
Meredith struggles, but manages to launch the axe in the wrong direction. The axe flies through and barely misses Chris neck.
Chris jumps back and screams, "Careful, girl! You want to wait in line to be expelled from the show!?"
Meredith blushes, "I'm sorry mister McLean," she steps aside, blushing.
"Lance, you're next!" says Chris, "Try not to cut my head off this time."
Lance is shown in the confessional, "Aww, damn! Chris discovered my plan."
Lance prepares to throw the axe, he manages to do it with ease. The young man hits the target, but his aim is not enough to strike the bulls-eye.
Terry is up next. She throws her axe not even strong enough to reach the target.
Lana is next, but throws her axe even shorter than Terry.
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Guess what? Halle will now throw the axe and get the bull's eye. Then Terry will hug her and say she's awesome for the millionth time," she looks down, "And
I'll fade in the corner like the invisible woman I am."
Chris says, "Halle is the next to throw!" he turns to the side and scoffs, "Finally someone will hit the bulls-eye."
Halle says, "Oh, I'm sure I am," she spits on her hands, rubs them and gets in position to throw the axe.
Carlos shouts, "Will you take forever!?"
Halle throws the axe, and it hits the target in the bulls-eye.
"Told you," says Halle.
Lana squints at the target.
Chris says, "Halle goes to the next-"
"Wait, Chris!" says Lana.
Chris says, "Yes?"
"Look closer at the target," Lana says, "The axe did not hit the bulls eye!"
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "What is this girl doing? Halle is on our side and she's trying to screw her over!?"
Inna is shown in the confessional, "Oh, another display of Lana-Halle love," she laughs, "They're funny."
Chris says, "Lana is right. The axe is mllimeters far from the bulls-eye."
Halle rolls her eyes.
"So," says Chris, "If Patricia hits the bulls-eye, she goes to the next round. If she doesn't, everyone will have to throw again. Understood?"
The contestants nod.
Patricia says in the confessional, "I have to get this! This is my chance to go directly against Carlos. Then he will lose the last challenge to a girl and will never live it down! Ahahahahahahah!" she wipes tears off her eyes, "Priceless!"
Lance is shown in the confessional, "What are the chances the author wants to write this boring-ass challenge all over again? Patricia will certainly get it."
Sure enough, Patricia hits the bulls-eye, most likely due to her will to go against Carlos on the last part of the challenge.
"Yes!" she shouts while jumping, "One more challenge. Bring it on, Chris!"
Chris says, "Sure. So, Carlos and Patricia will now compete in a classic Total Drama Action challenge. You will each stand in the top of a pillar and try to make your opponent fall on the tar with the help of one large bone.
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Yes! Me against Carlos! Now I just need to beat him and make him ashamed of living!" she starts cackling.
Carlos and Patricia are shown standing in their respective pillars, each of them holding a large bone.
Chris says, "Carlos against Patricia, the winner gets immunity. Ready? Go!
Patricia swings the bone to hit Carlos bur misses.
Carlos swings the bone with all his strength, trying to hit Patricia sideways. The girl ducks, but instead of dodging the strike, the huge bone hits her on the side of her head, causing her to fall in the tar.
Chris shouts, "And with that, Carlos is our winner!"
Carlos and Lance cheer, while the girls go over the tar to pull Patricia out.
Inna says, "I think she is unconscious."
"Chris!" yells Meredith, "Call the medics!"
The scene now shows all eight remaining contestants plus Chris in the ship's infirmary.
Meredith asks, "Is Pat going to be okay?"
"Most likely," says Chris, "That's the second time this season," he glares at Lana as she blushes. Chris continues, "But I'm afraid she won't be able to vote tonight."
The contestants gasp.
"Don't worry, she'll be fine," says Chris, "Or at least I think so," he leaves the room, soon followed by the other contestants.
The girls, except Inna are shown in their cabin.
Halle says, "Oh, ladies, I forgot to ask you something earlier today."
"Go ahead," says Terry cheerfully.
Halle says, "Why did you all vote for Louie instead of Carlos last night?"
"What!?" asks Patricia, "You were the one who send the freaking message to Terry!"
"I what?" asks Halle.
Terry says, "Didn't you give me the message saying Louie was the mastermind?"
"Ugh! That wasn't me, how could you guys buy that?" asks Halle, "Except you Terry, I completely understand you were emotionally shaken that day."
Lana rolls her eyes and gets up, "I'm going for a walk," she says before leaving the room.
Carlos, Inna and Lance are shown in the hot tub.
Carlos says, "So, Inna, tell us more about your old friends."
"Ooh that's right," says Inna, "Patricia. She is crazy to get you out."
Carlos gasps, "I can't believe it!" he stops for a moment, "Wait, who?"
Inna says, "Come on, she was on your team!"
"Hmm..." Carlos thinks.
Lance dryly says, "The one you almost killed today."
"Oh," says Carlos, "That one. Yeah, she's weird. So, we are getting rid of her tonight."
Inna says, "But that's impossible, the girls there like her. Especially Meredith."
Carlos says, "Well, since you know them so well, what's your idea?"
Lana is shown walking past them in the background.
Inna says, "I think I've found a crack..."
The contestants, except Patricia, are shown in the Elimination Ceremony site, sitting in their usual folding chairs.
Chris says, "Welcome to the Elimination Ceremony, guys. Unfortunately, Patricia won't be able to cast a vote tonight, so you can start voting."
The contestants start getting up one by one to vote.
Once Lana, the last one finishes voting, Chris says, "Now that you've all voted-"
"Hold it!"
Everyone look behind to see Patricia with a head cast standing by the gate, "I'm not letting my alliance down like that! I demand to vote!"
Lana, terry, Meredith and Halle start cheering.
Chris says, "Okay then, since you are here, you may cast your vote."
"Thank you, Chris," she says while heading to the confessional.
Chris is now shown holding a plate with marshmallows, "Here I have seven marshmallows. One of you will not receive any tonight, and will leave there as the eighth placer. The marshmallows go to..."
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Terry."
"Meredith."
"Lana."
"Patricia."
"Inna."
"Carlos."
"What!?" shouts a surprised Patricia, receiving glares from most of the contestants. She just looks around cluelessly.
Chris says, "Halle and Lance. You're the bottom two."
Lance rolls his eyes while Halle remains stoic.
Chris says, "The last marshmallow goes to..."
"Lance!" says Chris, "Halle, I never thought I'd say that, but it's time for you to go."
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "I'm confused. Why didn't the girls all vote for Carlos?"
Lana is shown in the confessional, "Finally Halle is out! Now I have VelvetCupcakes all for me!" tears of joy start forming on her eyes.
Halle silently gets up and heads to the boat, she makes a peace sign to Terry and says, "I won't be here, anymore."
Terry starts sobbing.
Chris says, "With that-"
"Mr. McLean!" says Terry, between sobs, "I can't stay here any longer!"
Lana's jaw drop.
Chris asks in disbelief, "What? Why not?"
"This place is cursed," says Terry, "That Xavier guy cursed this place before leaving, we are surrounded be evil spirits!"
Chris says, "Once you give up on Total Drama you can never come back. Are you sure you want to do this?"
Terry gets up and walks to Chris. She says, "Yes, I am," she turns to the contestants, "And I advise you all to do the same if you value your lives."
Most of the contestants replied with a "No thanks," a scoff, or a roll of eyes.
Chris says, "Then your wish is granted, you may join Halle in the Lifesaver of Losers."
Lana is shown in the confessional crying uncontrollably while trying to say, "I was.... So... So close. So... Close!"
Terry runs to the boat and hugs Halle, "Halley!"she starts crying, "This boat will go down with both of us!" she shouts.
"As you wish!" says Chris with a grin before cutting the ropes of the lifesaver. The scream of the girls is heard descending ito the ocean.
Chris turns to the contestants and says, "With that-"
Patricia gets up, "Oh thanks Chris, I can't wait to rest again."
"It's time to vote," says Chris with a grin.
The contestants gasp simultaneously.
"Wait, what!?" asks Meredith.
Chris says, "Exactly what you heard, we're having two eliminations today. And no time to strategize!"
Carlos says, "Wait, Chris, I still have my immunity, right?"
"Immunity?" asks Patricia, "Ah, that's why no one voted for him."
Patricia's alliance glares at her, except Lana, who is too busy breaking down in tears.
Chris says, "Yes, Carlos, you do."
"Yes!" he cheers.
"You may cast your votes now," says Chris.
Inna is shown in the confessional, "Oh my Gosh, after we made Terry quit, Lana will do anything to get rid of us. My vote goes to her."
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Since the biggest tool here is immune, my vote goes to the second biggest tool. Bye, Lance."
After the votes, Chris says, while holding a plate with five marshmallows, "After this elimination, S.S. Total Drama will meet its final five. The marshmallows go to..."
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Carlos."
"Meredith."
"Inna."
"Patricia."
Chris says, "And the final marshmallow of the night goes to..."
Lance looks calm while Lana is still in tears.
"Damn it!" yells Chris, "Another tie!"
"Come on!" says Inna.
Chris says, "Well, you all know how this works. We will have a public vote, if nothing changes, we go to the tiebreaker challenge. Understood?"
The contestants nod.
Needless to say, the revote ended exactly the same. Three votes (Meredith, Patricia and Lana) Lance, three votes (Carlos, Inna and Lance) Lana.
Chris says, "All right, the tie continues. Follow me!"
Chris leaves the ship and gets on the bus, followed by the contestants, who are already tired of being there.
Once they are in the Total Drama Action Stone-Age studio, Chris announces, "For today's tiebreaker, Lance and Lana will compete in the final part of today's challenge. Each one will have a bone, and will have to make the other fall off the pillar into the tar. Understood?"
Lana and Lance nod and climb their respective pillars.
"Go!" shouts Chris.
Lance hurls the bone first, but Lana ducks successfully. Lance tries to hit once again but fails, and accidentally drops his bone in the tar.
"Damn it!" he screams.
Meredith and Patricia start cheering and shouting Lana's name.
Lana smirks and hurls her bone with all her strength.
Lance desperately tries to escape, and ducks awkwardly. He manages to escape, which causes Lana to lose her balance and fall into the tar.
Meredith and Patricia hug in despair while Chris announces, "Lance wins the tiebreaker challenge!"
Lance jumps off the pillar and starts commemorating with his allies.
"Lana," says Chris, "I'm sorry, but the Lame-o-sine awaits you in the back door."
Lana slouches past Chris, covered in tar, and mutters, "Whatever," she walks out the back door and enters the Lame-o-sine.
Chris turns to the camera, "Well, that was an eventful episode. What will happen to the girls alliance? Will the boys and Inna finally prevail? And will the next episode be as eventful as that one? Find out next time on Total Drama Action!... No, wait."
Chapter 14 - China or Not, Here we Come[]
Chris is shown standing in a harbor during a heavy storm, "Last time on S.S. Total Drama! Lana overheard Terry telling Halle she would never quit because of the latter, and Inna grew tired of Patricia and her crazy obsession with Carlos, flipping to the men's alliance. At the challenge, Carlos defeated Patricia with an accidental blow on her head, which was enough to screw the women's alliance over. Patricia, not reminding about Carlos being immune voted for her biggest enemy, while Inna took advantage of Lana's jealousy towards Halle to target her. After successfully eliminating Halle, Lana thought got what she finally wanted, but Terry shocked her when she quit, not because of Halle, but because this ship is apparently haunted," Chris chuckles, "Go figure. After Terry's quitting, Lana's plan backfired as we had a surprise elimination, where Lana tied with Lance for more votes. Lana lost the tiebreaker, and her hopes, and dreams, and pretty much everything she still had," he catches his breath, "Wow, that's got to be the biggest recap I've ever made. But who will be eliminated next, on S.S. Total Drama!" a lightning strikes in the background as Chris jumps scared.
The girls are shown in their cabin. Meredith is sleeping, Patricia is lying on her bed and Inna is just getting up. The exercise instructor walks and turns the doorknob.
"Not so fast!" screams Patricia, "Stay where you are, flip-flopper!"
Inna rubs her eyes and blinks, "What?" she asks.
"You know what I'm talking about," says an angry Patricia, "You totally flipped on me and Meredith!"
Inna says, "You're right. But you're crazy."
"I'm crazy!?" asks Patricia, "You are the one who drinks cow liver smoothies! Go back to Carlos, you deserve his company."
Inna says, "See? That's all you think about. You're nuts, girl," she leaves and closes the door.
Patricia scoffs, "Did you hear that, Meredith? The girl is delusional!"
Meredith doesn't answer.
Patricia asks, "Meredith?" she turns around to see Meredith drooling in her sleep. Patricia slaps her forehead.
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Sometimes I question my friendships."
Carlos and Lance are shown in their cabin.
"You don't have to thank me," says Lance, "But I annihilated that witch in the challenge!"
Carlos says, "Heh, she was a self-destructing mess. I knew she would be gone sooner or later."
Lance asks, "Aren't you even proud of me?"
Carlos grunts in indifference.
Inna opens the door with a cart full of sandwiches and orange juice, "Hello bee-eff-effs!"
Carlos says, "Wow, whats that? Did you steal it from Chris' cabin?"
Inna says, "No, I made it!"
Inna is shown in the confessional, "I make those things every day in the gym back home, it's in my blood!"
"Wow!" says Lance, "How long did you spend on it?"
"Not much," says Inna, "But I'm here to party! Show your enthusiasm you bunch of walking corpses, aren't you proud!?"
"Heck yeah!" says Lance.
Carlos says, "I guess so."
"Carlos," says Inna, "Aren't you even happy?"
"Not really," says Carlos smugly, "I knew this would happen sooner or later."
Lance says between coughs, "Modest," he grabs a sandwich and takes a bite
Inna and Carlos start eating and drinking to commemorate.
It rains heavily, as Patricia and Meredith are on the front deck.
"You know, Pat," says Meredith, "I think we still have hopes."
Patricia says, "What hopes? Are you delusional too?"
"Wait," says Meredith, "Who else is delusional?"
Patricia says, "Inna. The girl thinks Carlos is better than us!"
"Who doesn't?" says Meredith.
Patricia gives Meredith a death glare.
Meredith gulps and says, "I-I mean.. Hmm... Totally delusional."
"Yeah," says Patricia, "We're screwed. I wonder which one of us will go first."
"Don't think like that, Pat!" Meredith glomps Patricia, "It will get better..."
Patricia says with some difficulty to breathe, "I hope so."
"Hmm, I see no pessimism," says Meredith, smiling.
Chris walks to them with an umbrella and says, "I'm sorry to interrupt your bittersweet moment, but," the wind blows and wipes the umbrella off Chris' hand, "The challenge is waiting for you in the poop deck."
Meredith laughs, "He said poop," she says.
Patricia rolls her eyes.
In the poop deck, the contestants are standing near a large pool full of some dark substance. Across them, there are five shelves with twelve spaces each.
"Welcome to today's challenge," says Chris, "The challenge would be held in China," a loud thunder interrupts the host, "But due to this strong rainstorm, you will be staying here."
Lance snarks, "In a ship in the middle of the ocean. Yep, it does seem safer."
Chris says, "Anywho. This pool besides you is full of soy sauce. Your objective is to search in this pool for twelve statuettes representing the Chinese zodiac. Once you find all twelve, you have to put them in order in your respective shelf. There are five statuettes of each zodiac sign, so no one will be short of them. Understood?"
The contestants nod.
"Go!" says Chris.
All the contestants dive in the pool.
Meredith comes out first with a rat, followed by Carlos, who has a snake and a rooster. While they are running to their shelves, Lance and Inna come out each with a dragon.
Patricia is struggling to find a statue in the pool. She is shown in the confessional, "Oh, look! Carlos is doing better than everyone again, what a great day!" she smiles while her eye twitches.
Back in the pool, Carlos already has 11 statues, Meredith has 9, Inna and Lance have 8 each, and Patricia has 2.
Inna returns with her ninth, while Lance struggles in the pool.
Carlos is in the pool going through every statue until he finds his last one, the ox, while Patricia is distracted looking at his failed attempts to find it with a big smile on her face.
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "I guess I had to put the challenge to the side for a moment, It was so fun to see Carlos failing!"
Carlos finally comes out of the pool with the ox, his last statue. He runs to it and slides in a puddle of soy sauce, causing the statue to fly from his hands and shatter when hit the floor.
"Chris!" yells Carlos.
Chris says, "Yes, Carlos?"
"My ox is broken!" shouts Carlos.
Patricia stops what she's doing and looks at Carlos with a wide smile.
"Sorry, Carlos, " says Chris, "But as much as I would love to give you another statue, you're out of the challenge."
Carlos walks away screaming, "This is bull!"
"Yes!" Patricia says while jumping. She is shown in the confessional, "I can't believe I actually saw that, Kentucky Carlos actually failing at something! And getting angry over it! That moment will never leave my head."
Meredith is shown in the confessional, "You know, sometimes I think Pat worries more about Carlos failing than she worries with herself succeeding. That can't be healthy," she looks down.
Inna runs to her shelf with a tiger statue, her eleventh.
Meredith puts her last statue, the rabbit, in her shelf.
Meredith is shown in the confessional, "Okay, I did the easy part. What am I supposed to do now?"
Chris yells, "Meredith, you can start putting them in order!"
"Oh, right!" says Meredith. She laughs and proceeds to put it in order. Only it's the wrong order.
While Meredith struggles to put them in order, Lance comes out of the pool with his eleventh statue, followed by Inna, with her last one.
Inna starts arranging them in order, "First the rat, then the ox..." she says to herself.
Inna is shown in the confessional, "If I don't get this right it will be humiliating. I mean, I see the Chinese zodiac every day in the back of Mr. Xiao Bing's organic rice box!"
Meredith struggles to put them in order, "I know the dragon is last," she says.
Inna yells, "Chris, I think I'm done!"
Chris says, "Rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, goat, monkey, rooster, dog, pig. Yep, you're right! Congratulations, Inna!"
Meredith looks surprised, "What? The dragon wasn't last?" Everyone around look at her as she laughs goofily. Inna is shown in the confessional, "Yes! I knew it was right! I guess all these years reading the back of those organic Chinese rice boxes really paid off."
It's already night, and Inna is in the hot tub with the boys, "So, it's Patricia tonight."
"Are you sure?" asks Carlos, "She seemed pretty useless today."
"Yeah," says Lance, "Meredith is much more of a challenge threat."
Inna says, "But Carlos, Patricia is crazy, you never know what's in store!"
"I'm used to people being crazy about me," says Carlos.
Inna says, "But it's not good crazy, she's a psycho when it comes to eliminating you!"
Carlos says, "No matter how psycho she is, you have to acknowledge that if it wasn't for the puzzle ant the end of this challenge, Meredith would have won."
"So what?" asks Inna, "You're more worried about a challenge threat than someone who is out to kill you?"
Carlos strokes his chin, thinking.
Meredith and Patricia are shown on their cabin.
Patricia says, "I'm going tonight regardless. Let's all vote for Carlos just for the sake of it?"
"Sure," says Meredith, "If that makes you happy."
The girls hug, and a deep, moaning noise is heard.
Meredith's eyes widen, "Patricia, are you okay?" she asks worried.
"T-that wasn't you?" asks a scared Patricia.
The moaning noise is heard again, followed by some unintelligible mutters.
"What was that?" asks Patricia.
Meredith says, "I don't know, its sounded like an ancient chant."
"Coal... me... dah!"
Meredith jumps back, "Oh God, what if it's the spirits Terry talked about?"
"Oh please," says Patricia, "I don't believe in this nonsense. You have to learn how to be skeptical!"
"If you're so skeptical, why don't you go there and prove it's fake?" asks Meredith.
Patricia gets up, opens the door and sticks her head out in the dark hallway, "See, there's nothing here. You're so-"
"Coal... me... dah!" the sound echoes louder.
The blonde quickly slips back into the cabin and says, "Okay, maybe I'm a little scared."
"Ha!" mocks Meredith.
Patricia shouts "Shut up, I'm scared, okay?"
Meredith asks, "Should I ask help from Inna and the boys?"
Patricia laughs in disdain, "There's no chance in hell I'm asking that neanderthal Carlos for help!" she says.
"Okay," says an angry Meredith, "So let's stay here and have our souls devoured by demons."
"Who's the pessimist now?" asks Patricia, grinning.
"I've had enough with you!" says Meredith, as she gets up and opens the door, "You can stay here if you're so independent, I'm calling Carlos to help me!" she says before slamming the door.
Patricia lays on a bed and sighs, "Well, at least they're safe from zombies," she says, "After all, they want brains."
Time elapses and Meredith opens the cabin door with a huge smile on your face, "Hey Pat, you lost all the fun!"
"With Carlos?" asks Patricia, "Sorry, I prefer to stab my eyes with a ruler."
Meredith says, "Come on, it was awesome! The so called spirits were actually criminals who escaped from some prison when we were in Brazil. Remember? When we couldn't have the challenge there because of the escaped convicts?"
Patricia stays there with a bored look on her face.
"So, we found them crawling around with no food and no water," says Meredith, "Poor guys, even though some of them were murderers."
Patricia's eyes widen, but she soon puts the bored look back on her face.
Meredith continues, "And that crazy moaning that sounded like a spiritual chant, was actually them asking for food! Turns out that word meant food in Spanish... That's what Brazilians speak, right?"
Patricia yawns. She is then shown in the confessional, "Wow! That story was incredible... But I must not let Meredith know that."
"So Chris asked Chef Hatchet to send them all back to their country of origin," says Meredith, "Where they will go back to prison... Poor guys. At least they now have food and water."
Patricia claps slowly, "Congrats," she says monotonously, "Now let's head to the elimination ceremony, Chris is probably waiting for us."
Meredith nods energetically and jumps out of the cabin, followed by Patricia, who walks behind with her eyes squinted in a constant glare.
The contestants are shown in the Elimination Ceremony site, sitting in their folding chairs.
Chris says, "Welcome to the Elimination Ceremony, final five. First of all, I'd like to thank you all for helping me getting those criminals out of my cruise ship... Except Patricia."
The girl rolls her eyes.
Chris continues, "You will now cast a very important vote, and remember, you cannot vote for Inna, she's immune."
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "No matter how mad I am at Meredith, I cannot bring myself into voting for someone other than Carlos when he is vulnerable. I hope you do the same, dear."
Chris is shown with a plate with four marshmallows, "Here we are, final five... Soon to be final four," he says, "And the marshmallows of safety will go to..."
As Chris calls the competitor's name, they receive their respective marshmallow.
"Inna."
"Lance."
"Carlos."
Meredith tightly hugs Patricia, while the latter looks to the other side.
Chris lifts the remaining marshmallow and says, "The last marshmallow of the night goes to..."
"Patricia!" says Chris, "Meredith, you've come a long way. Now it's time to go."
Meredith starts crying loudly while hugging Patricia, "Pat! I'll never forget you!"
Patricia remains stoic, "Meredith, keep strong I will..."
Meredith suddenly stops crying, "You will what, Pat?"
Patricia bursts in tears, "I'll win for you, babe!" she continues crying.
"Babe?" asks a confused Meredith before snorting.
Patricia laughs, "I-I mean, girl!" she says, "But trust me, you'll see me getting that prize!"
Meredith gets up and says, "Well, I see some optimism here. That's already an accomplishment!" she walks towards the Lifesaver of Losers and says, "Bye Inna, bye Lance, bye Carlos! It was really fun to meet you too!"
The members of the opposing alliance wave at her as the boat descends into the ocean.
Chris turns to the camera, "Well, that wraps up our final five episode. Will the remaining alliance stay strong until the final 3? Can Inna be completely trusted by the men? And will Patricia star a nauseating underdog story or will she be the next one out like it's the logical thing? Find out next time on S.S. Total Drama!"
Chapter 15 - Hold Your Horses, Still Not China[]
Chris is shown standing in the ship's deck, near what appears to be a quiz show setup, "Last time, on S.S. Total Drama! After a shocking triple elimination, Patricia and Meredith knew they were the minority, but due to Patricia's despise for Carlos, they didn't even try to change things up. In the challenge, Carlos was close to winning, but he broke his ox, which took him out of the challenge. Even though Meredith got all her statuettes first, Inna's knowledge about the Chinese zodiac helped her put the statues in order and win the challenge. Due to Patricia's stubbornness, her and Meredith stayed in the minority, and even though Meredith made efforts to spend time with Carlos' alliance, it was her that was voted out due to being a physical threat. What challenge will we have today, and who will make it to the final three, in S.S. Total Drama!"
Patricia is shown lying in her bed, singing to herself, "They say she used to be so kind, I never knew you had such a dirty-"
Lance slams the door open and says, "Hey Patricia, I Chris sent a final four feast for us, it's in the dining area. Won't you join us?"
"Is Carlos there?" moans Patricia.
Lance says, "Yeah, he is. Come on, just try once, he's not that bad."
Patrcia says, "Well of course he is! You're gay, why don't you hate him?"
"Because he's a cool guy," says Lance, "You should give him a chance."
"A chance?" asks Patricia, "Have you seen him on Outlaster? The Astounding Race? That man is disgusting!"
Lance rolls his eyes, "You call yourself a reality TV superfan," he says, "You should know better than anyone about how people are edited in those shows."
Patricia says, "But he- I mean- He is-"
"See, silly duck?" says Lance. He grabs her by the arm and says, "Come here with me!"
"I don't want to!" screams Patricia.
Lance says, "Shut up, they have leek quiche!"
In the dining area, Carlos and Inna are sitting at the table, surrounded by food.
Inna says to Carlos, "So, first you cut off the tip, then you squeeze the internal organs out, and it's ready to eat!"
"Heh, interesting," says Carlos.
Lance and Patricia are shown standing besides them them with a disgusted look on their faces.
"Oh, hello guys!" says Inna with a smile on her face, "Take a seat, we were talking about the wonders of Chinese cuisine."
Patricia looks uncomfortable while Lance starts tapping on the table, "Interesting... I guess," he says.
"Totes!" says Inna, "I'm dying to eat some Chinese food when I'm out of this place."
An awkward silence fills the room, but Patricia breaks it with an even more awkward line, "So... Beans and cornbread, huh?" she says after picking up a plate of food.
Carlos scratches his chin.
"Umm, a final four feast," says Patricia, "That's weird."
Inna says, "Not at all."
Both Carlos and Patricia say at the same time, "Yes, it-" they notice that and stop talking.
Patrcia glares at Carlos, but he just waits there, indifferent. He says, "As I was saying, yes, it is weird. The feast usually happens during the final three, not the final four."
Patricia folds her arms and rolls her eyes. She is shown in the confessional, "What a showoff! I knew all of that, I should have been the one to say that! I should have gotten all the attention!"
Inna tells Carlos, "Well, who am I to doubt you."
"I wonder why we had that feast right now," says Patricia.
Chef Hatchet arrives carrying a plate full of some fried rings, "Chris decided it will be a final four feast so he could force people to interact," he says grumpily.
Lance shrugs, "Makes sense," he says.
"What's that?" Carlos asks with a mouth full of cornbread, pointing to the fried rings on Chef's plate.
"Calamari," says Chef.
Inna asks, "Are you sure that's calamari?"
Chef looks suspicious, "Sure, what else could it be?"
"I don't know," says Inna, "I've recently seen that some restaurants are using sliced pig rectum to pass off as calamari." Patricia covers her mouth in disgust.
Chef shifts his eyes back and forth nervously, drops the plate on the table and runs back to the kitchen.
Carlos shrugs, picks up a ring and eats it, causing his friends to widen their eyes.
Patricia gets up, "Excuse me, I'm going to puke. Be right back," she says before heading to her cabin.
The three friends eye each other and start laughing.
Patricia is shown in her cabin, "Ugh, finally got away from that ogre and his zombie slaves. I needed some time for myself, after all, I am a writer!" she gets a notebook and starts biting the back of a pencil.
Inna is shown in the confessional, "The feast was great!"
"I think I'll never have a feast like that again in my life!" says Lance in the confessional.
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "The feast was incredible, I would pity anyone who missed that. I'm glad everybody was there to enjoy."
Roughly an hour later, Patricia is shown in her cabin, holding a completely blank notebook, "Ugh, I can't write anything. I have to take my mind out of... Him. I have to start-"
Inna slams the door open as usual, "Patricia! Chris is calling for the challenge, hurry up!" she warns, before shutting the door.
Patricia sighs, leaves the notebook behind and leaves the cabin.
In the ship's deck, each contestant is shown besides a small podium, while Chris stands below a large screen.
"Welcome," says Chris, "To the ultimate S.S. Total Drama trivia challenge!"
Lance scoffs, "A trivia challenge? We have access to all the countries in this world and you decide to do a trivia challenge?"
"Err, yes," says Chris, "We didn't... Umm... Have time to set up the challenge in China."
"Understandable," says Inna.
Chris continues, "Besides, we saved thirteen thousand dollars by cancelling it."
Most contestants roll their eyes.
"Anyway," says Chris, "This challenge is simple, each round I will ask a question about Total Drama, normally about a contestant from this season. The first person to press the buzzer will answer it. If you answer it right, you will get one point. If you answer it wrong, another person may press the buzzer and guess. First one to five points wins, understood?"
Inna raises her arm.
Lance says, "Why do you always have to ask if we understood? Only a moron wouldn't understand these challenges!" Inna lowers her arm while looking down.
"I'm paid for that, okay?" says Chris, "First question. What kind of store did Cleo work at?"
Carlos presses the buzzer, "Uhhh... A... Hot Topic?"
"Wrong!" says Chris.
"A comic book store!" says Inna after pressing the buzzer.
"Correct!" says Chris.
Carlos says, "Hey, that's not fair, she wasn't even on my team."
"That's not an excuse," says Patricia, "You weren't restricted from talking to her. You just choose to, as you were too busy with your little alliance."
Carlos responds, "Says the girl who spent ninety percent of her time gossiping with her girlfriend."
Patricia blushes, "I- Uh... You're wrong, so shut up!" she says before folding her arms and looking away from him.
Chris says, "Ooh, a little fight to spice up this boring trivia show-"
"At least you acknowledge it," Lance snarks.
Chris clears his throat, ignoring Lance's rude statement, "Second question," he says, "What hobbie did Lizzie have with her cousins?"
Carlos presses the buzzer, "Baking cupcakes!" he says.
"Sorry," says Chris, "Wrong answer."
"Baking muffins," says Patricia with a smirk.
"Patricia gets one point!" says Chris.
Carlos says, "Wait, they aren't the same thing?"
Patricia is shown laughing in the confessional, "Carlos is so ignorant! I can't understand how a man with no culture can have so many fans."
"Alright, question number three," says Chris, "What was Antonio's favorite Opera?"
"What?" asks Patricia, "Who the heck watches Operas nowadays?!"
An awkward silent fills the room until Lance timidly presses his buzzer. He clears his throat and says, "Umm... Der Ring des Nibelungen?"
"Oh, la la, the boys knows how to speak French," mocks Carlos
"That's German, bonehead," says Patricia.
Chris says, "Lance is right!"
"Wait," says Carlos, "How did you know that?"
Lance says, "Oh, me and Antonio were sharing our musical tastes."
"Interesting," says Carlos.
"Let's just say he may very well be on the edge of glory right now," Lance says, shifting his eyes.
Inna and Patricia chuckle, but Carlos doesn't get Lance's reference as he's too manly for that.
"Next question," says Chris, "Name the two eliminated contestants who always wore headbands."
Carlos presses the buzzer, "Inna and Meredith!"
"Hey, I'm still here!" shouts Inna.
Carlos says, "Ugh, too much to remember."
Patricia presses the buzzer, "Meredith and Lizzie."
"Correct!" says Chris, "Patricia has two points now. Fourth question, what was Mathew's father's occupation?"
"Police officer!" shouts Lance.
Chris says, "Lance has one point now. Next question, what kind of books did Terry write?"
Carlos presses the buzzer, "Uh... Self-help books?" Chris shakes his head.
"Mystery novels," says Inna, "I should know after hearing Lana talk nonstop about her idol."
"That is correct!" says Chris, "Now, which subject did Foreman teach in university?"
"Physics!" Inna shouts as loud as she can after pressing the buzzer. She looks at Chris with a creepy smile.
Chris announces, "And Inna is in the lead with three points!"
Carlos mocks, "Knowing everything about your lovebird, right?"
"Yes, very much," says Inna, "I even knew what he ate every breakfast lunch and dinner," she says dreamily.
The other contestants raise their eyebrows.
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Pshh, lovebird. More like a love walrus!" she starts getting angrier as she speaks, "I hope that delusional flip-flopper Inna chokes on a granola bar! It's okay if you leave me, but if you leave me to join Carlos, you will regret!"
"Moving on," says Chris, "What is Dominic's nickname on his various accounts around the internet?"
Carlos presses the buzzer first, "Umm... LargeMarge69?" he guesses.
Chris says, "Not even close!"
"DoMia!" screams Patricia.
Chris says, "Correct! Patricia gets one point."
"How could we forget that after his obnoxious introduction?" Patricia asks rhetorically.
Carlos snickers, "Looks like you're paying too much attention on the guy, are you interested on him?"
"Is sexy," mocks Lance.
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Ugh, I can't get over the fact Lance actually likes Carlos. I mean, he's obviously using him! Lance deserves better friends than that homophobic scumbag."
Chris says, "Settling down the fight, okay... Ninth question: what's the name of Halle's boyfriend?"
"Bob?" asks Carlos cluelessly.
Chris says, "Wrong!"
Inna presses the buzzer, "I remember her bragging about him once, I believe it's Terrence."
"Inna gets it!" announces Chris, "If she gets one more question right, she wins immunity once again. So, for the next question, what is Halle's favorite transmorpher?"
Lance says, "Ew, who watches that lame-ass cartoon anymore?"
Carlos presses the buzzer, "Umm, I don't know, Benultimatrix?"
"Wrong again, Carlos!" says Chris, "No one has any idea?"
Patricia presses it, "I believe her favorite one is Moonshout."
"Patricia gets it right!" says Chris, "Inna and Patricia are tied, and hopefully, the next question decides it all... What is Halle's favorite color?"
"What's up with all these questions about Halle?" asks Lance.
Chris says, "Oh, we thought they would be difficult to answer since she spent ninety-five percent of her time here exclusively talking to Terry. Plus, she's awesome."
Inna quickly presses the buzzer, "Is it cyan?"
Chris says dramatically, "And Inna's answer is... Wrong!"
"Fladoodle!" she shouts.
Carlos presses the buzzer, "I don't even know. Uh.... Cerulean?"
Chris says, "Carlos gets it right!"
"What!?" everyone else say in unison.
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Dumbass Carlos got one question right, pfft, big deal. What are the chances of him getting every question right from now on?"
Chris says, "Okay, this question may decide the winner of this challenge. And it's a very hard question... Tell me the exact elimination order-"
"Ha, that's easy!" says Lance.
"Of Total Drama Revenge of the Island!" continues Chris.
The contestants all look surprised, except Patricia, who is smirking.
Inna is shown in the confessional, "I haven't watched Total Drama before! Oh my gosh what do I do?"
Carlos says in the confessional, "Who waste their time watching Total Drama? Seriously, It's-" he is interrupted by the cameraman mumbling something, "What!?" He says, "I am in Total Drama? Oh sh-" the camera goes static.
Patricia presses the buzzer, "Easy, Chris. First was Staci, then Dakota, followed by B, Dawn, Sam, then Brick and Anne Maria, followed by Dakota again, Mike, Jo, Scott and Zoey! Well, Lightning and Cameron weren't actually eliminated." she bows down graciously.
"Wow," says Chris, "You watched that whole season? You deserve a freaking medal or some crap like that. Congratulations, you've won immunity!"
"Thank you," says Patricia politely. She turns to the contestants and shouts, "Suck that, Carlos! Suck that!" she runs to her cabin while laughing and jumping in joy, and a little of insanity.
Chris says nonchalantly, "I've seen worse, you're dismissed."
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "I don't even care anymore, I refuse to talk to any of those scumbags! I'm voting for Carlos just for the sake of it. After all, I have immunity!" she starts laughing again.
Carlos is shown win Inna in the ship's hot tub, "So, you know how Lance and I were together from the beginning, right?"
"Yes," she says, with a suspicious look on her face.
Carlos continues, "Well, truth is, I can't stand him. I just used him up to here for votes, and now it's the perfect time to ditch him for a more... Bearable ally."
Inna says, "You mean..."
"Yes, Inna," says Carlos, "I mean you."
Inna smiles delighted with his answer.
"We will vote for Lance tonight, then," he says, "I'm counting on you," he gets out of the hot tub and says, "Gotta grab something to eat."
Inna looks up, thoughtful.
Carlos is shown entering his and Lance's cabin. He says, "Listen, Lance. We've been together in this game since the beginning, and now it won't be different. We are voting for Inna."
"Great," says Lance, "She annoys me."
Carlos says, "And how! I can't handle her anymore. I already tricked the girl into thinking you're going next, she's not the brightest bulb, you know?"
The men laugh and high-five.
Inna is shown entering her and Patricia's cabin, "So, Patricia-"
"Don't talk to me, traitor!" Patricia says.
Inna sighs, "Okay, then," she lays on her bed and closes her eyes.
Inna is shown in the confessional, "Well, I would suggest taking out Carlos with her, but I guess she doesn't want to hear, so..."
The remaining contestants are shown sitting in folding chairs, in their usual elimination ceremony area.
Chris says, "Welcome to the Elimination Ceremony, my soon-to-be final three."
Some light coughs are heard from the contestants.
Chris says, "Something tells me you want to get this over with, so you can go vote."
Lance is shown in the confessional, voting for Inna, "I really expected you to be smarter than this."
Inna is shown in the confessional, voting for Lance, "I really expected you to be smarter than this."
Patricia is shown in the confessional, voting for Carlos, "Inna, Lance, I really expect you to be smart enough to do this."
Chris is now holding a plate with three marshmallows, "Congratulations all of you in making this far-"
Lance interrupts him, "Now it's the time you go all sadistic and smile while saying one of us will have our dreams crushed, we get it."
Chris glares at Lance, "Okay, okay. Marshmallows go to... Patricia!"
The girl catches her marshmallow, "Immunity, whoo!"
"Carlos," says Chris, throwing a marshmallow to the man.
Chris says, "Inna and Lance, one of you is having your dreams crushed today."
Both Lance and Inna glare at Carlos at the same time, but Carlos looks at his nails, nonchalantly"
Chris lifts the remaining marshmallow and says, "The last marshmallow of the night goes to..."
"Inna!" says Chris.
"Yay!" she yells, jumping from her chair, "Thanks, Carlos."
Chris says, "Lance, you time has come."
Lance walks to the Lifesaver of Losers and says, "I don't need this, my man has two jobs!"
The girls snicker, but Carlos just stays there with a smile of accomplishment on his face.
"Just kidding, I'm single," says Lance, "Call me!" he says while making a telephone hand gesture. The boat slowly descends into the ocean.
Chris turns to the camera, "And that wraps up another episode. What will happen next? And most importantly, will we finally visit China? Find out next time, on S.S. Total Drama!"
Chapter 16 - A Meal To Remember[]
Chris is shown standing in the middle of a kitchen, "Last time, on S.S. Total Drama! Due to some... Err, technical difficulties, we postponed the challenge we had in China once again. During the final four feast, Lance forced Patricia to stay there with them, but it wasn't for too long, as the girl quickly grew disgusted at Carlos... Not news, if you ask me. During the trivia challenge, which was suspiciously the only challenge Patricia could possibly win, and was set right when she had the biggest risk of being eliminated. But what are you thinking, we don't like to favor underdogs like others shows I know," he coughs, "Patricia shockingly won immunity and Carlos was forced to vote someone from his alliance out. After making both of his allies feel safe, Carlos voted out his day-one ally Lance, leaving the exercise instructor Inna, the begrudging nutjob Patricia, and the man himself Carlos in the run for the million dollars. After this episode, two of them will make it to the finals, who will it be? Find out now, on S.S. Total Drama!"
Patricia and Inna are shown in their cabin, in silence, awkwardly avoiding to look at each other.
Inna appears in the confessional, "There's no way I'm taking Carlos to the finals if I win today's challenge, so this is the right moment to apologize to Patricia. See? I'm not as dumb as I look."
Patricia says in the confessional, "Someone has to be really dumb to think I would ever take Carlos to the finals. Even though if I had the option to pick Anamaria to go to the finals with me instead of one of those scumbags, I would."
Inna says to Patricia, "So, Patricia, I'd like to... Apologize. Is that okay?"
"Eh, sure," says Patricia, "I'll take you to the finals either way if I win, you don't have to try to win me over again," she laughs.
Inna looks uncomfortable, "Well, I'm glad you do, then. I'm going to the hot tub, bye!" she says before leaving the cabin.
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "Did she really stop trying to apologize to me just because I said I'd take her? Hmm, I think I have to reconsider who will I take if I win."
Carlos is shown on the hot tub, drinking some coconut water, "My fourth final three... Can't say I didn't get used to it," he takes a sip from his coconut.
"Hey, Carlos!" Inna says, arriving at the hot tub, "How is it to be in the final three for the third time?"
"Fourth," Carlos adds, "There was that The Astounding Race one."
Inna says, "Aww, that doesn't count, that show sucks."
"Totally rigged," says Carlos, nodding.
"So..." Inna starts, "Are we solid in the final two?"
Carlos says, "Don't worry, we are."
Chris voice is heard on the loudspeakers, "Attention contestants, we finally arrived in China! Meet me at the docks, the vans will take you to your challenge location!"
Inna is shown in the confessional, "Final three, yeah! I'm so happy to be here, I can do some more travel, and have a huge chance to win the million!"
Patricia says in the confessional, "Final three! You see, mom? You see how far my so-called pessimism took me? I'm very surprised I'm here, I thought I'd be out much sooner."
"And the people here are cool," Inna continues in the confessional, "I mean, Patricia can get on my nerves sometimes, but Carlos is the embodiment of awesomeness! He's funny, athletic, and a great friend! Don't worry, Foreman, I'm still yours," she winks.
"Of course I could be with people I don't hate the guts off," Patricia says in the confessional, "Especially Carlos, but I'm here, right? So I have to enjoy my time of loneliness and sorrow... Well, at least I proved I'm not a pessimist, right?" she laughs nervously.
Carlos is now shown in the confessional, "Final three... Heh, no news here."
The contestants are now shown inside a van, which is driven by Chef Hatchet.
"Where do you think we're going?" asks Patricia.
"I don't know," says Inna, "But I hope it's a restaurant, I'm craving some Chinese food!"
Carlos says, "I wouldn't say that again, it might inspire Chris." Chef snickers while driving.
"We've arrived," Chef says grumpily, "Get out of my van!"
The contestants follow Chef's order and end up in front of a Chinese restaurant.
"Oh God," says Patricia, "I can already see the suffering."
A cloud of pink smoke suddenly explodes in front of the restaurant, and Chris appears, answering the girl, "Yes, I bet you can! Follow me, guys!"
The contestants are shown inside a beautifully decorated room with a large circular table on the middle of it, and three chairs around said table.
"Welcome to your final three challenge," says Chris, "This is an endurance challenge, but not a conventional one."
"We're in a Chinese restaurant," says Patricia, "I wonder what it will be," she rolls her eyes.
Chris gets hold of the large fabric covering the table and says, "Prepare to eat!" as he pulls it away, revealing a large wheel-of-fortune-like structure.
"We're gonna eat a roulette?" asks Inna, "That can't be healthy."
"Please, tell me you're joking," says an annoyed Patricia.
Inna shifts her eyes back and forth and says, "Maybe."
Chris says, "So this is it! Each section of this wheel contains the name of a Chinese dish. Each round I will spin the wheel and you will be served a portion of the dish which landed in front of you. The dishes vary between simple Chinese rice to things I'd rather keep as a secert now," the host smiles deviously while the contestants widen their eyes, "If you refuse to eat or can't finish a dish, you are out. Last person standing wins, understood?"
Carlos raises his hand, "Um, Chris, am I allowed to vomit?"
"No," says Chris, "Only the original Total Drama writers enjoyed vomit, this is a fanfiction written by an emetophobic guy."
Patricia asks, confused, "What are you talking about, Chris?"
"Sheesh," complains Chris, "I can't even break the fourth wall without being bothered by you." Patricia rolls her eyes.
"Looks like everyone is ready. Let the game begin!" Chris says while spinning the wheel.
The wheel lands on fried crickets for Carlos, starfish skewer for Patricia, and fermented tofu soup for Inna.
"That's easy!" says Carlos.
A waiter brings a cart to the room, and puts the dishes in front of their respective contestants.
Inna takes the lid of her plate, "Whoo, tofu!"
"Ew," says Patricia, "That thing stinks!"
"Take care of your own food," says an annoyed Inna.
"Ha! It's just a starfish?" asks Patricia, "I can do that," she takes off the lid to see an enormous fried starfish. Her eyes widen as she says, "Chris, this is disgusting."
Chris smiles sarcastically and says, "Why, thank you."
"I'm finished!" says Carlos.
Chris says, "Carlos goes to the next round!"
Patricia starts biting the limbs of the starfish off, "Eww, it's green on the inside," she says, disgusted.
"Done!" says Inna.
"Inna goes to the next round," announces Chris, "Patricia, we're waiting."
Patricia shoves the last piece on her mouth, and starts chewing it.
"Get on with it," says Chris, "Don't make me make up a rule about time limit now!"
"Done!" Patricia says, showing her empty mouth.
"Ew, you don't need to do this," says a disgusted Chris, "I trust you."
Patricia sits down and smiles.
Chris spins the wheel once again, Patricia gets fried beetle larvae, Inna gets meatball soup, and Carlos gets Chinese rice.
"Come on!" complains Patricia.
The waiter gives the contestants their respective plates.
"Ready?" asks Chris, "Eat!"
"Wait," says Inna, "These look nothing like meatballs."
Chris chuckles, "Well, let's say you'll know what it is if you watched Total Drama Island," he says.
"But I didn't!" Inna replies.
"Testicles," says an uninterested Patricia.
Inna's eyes widen, "Sorry Chris, I can't eat that. Besides, I'm a vegetarian, that would conflict with-"
"Blah, blah, blah," mocks Chris, "You're out!" he says, pointing to the exit with his thumb.
Chris says, "Now you two, start eating!"
Patricia examines one of her larvae in disgust while Carlos says provokingly, "I'm so glad I got rice, I would be really pissed if I had to eat testicles soup, or, I don't know, disgusting, munchy, beetle larvae," Patricia's eye starts twitching as Carlos continues, "The way they squirt in your mouth when you bite them, and also the horrid-"
"Shut up and eat your rice!" yells a livid Patricia.
Carlos snickers before looking down and eating from his bowl of rice.
Chris says, "It's just you two now, and I'm sure no one is going to give up easily, let's go!" he spins the wheel once more.
A montage shows the two remaining contestants eating a variety of exotic food that the author doesn't have much knowledge about to describe, but abruptly stops at a moment when obviously something important will happen. The wheel lands on fried scorpions for Carlos and balut for Patricia.
"What the heck, Chris?" says Patricia, "Balut is a Filipino dish, not Chinese!"
"I know," says Chris, "But we can't miss the opportunity of making you eat a duck fetus, good luck with that!"
Patricia looks down at her dish, then at Carlos, who is slowly eating his scorpions. She is shown in the confessional, "People say I think better under pressure. Well, I can't deny the idea I had there was incredible!"
"Hey Carlos," Patricia says, looking up to him.
"Yeah?" he answers with a mouthful of scorpions.
The girl opens a wide smile and says, "Fafaru."
Carlos closes his eyes, trying to focus, "You're not going to get me this time," he says smugly.
Patricia asks, "Really? What about that smell of rotten fish and crab legs, which will soon cover a raw slice of fish that will stay for days on the sun."
Carlos continues chewing on his scorpions, but Patricia continues. "Just think of when you had to get your nose and mouth really close to that rotting, putrid, rancid-" the girl abruptly stops.
"What's up?" asks Carlos, "You ran out of synonyms for rotten? Want a thesaurus? Do you-" Patricia suddenly vomits over the roulette.
Carlos opens a wide smile, "Did I win?"
"Carlos wins immunity!" Chris announces, "Congratulations, you're in the final two!"
Carlos starts cheering upon hearing that. Inna enters the room, "You did it, congratulations!" she says before hugging Carlos.
Patricia crawls from the bathroom and sees the friends hugging, "Ugh, I think I'll have to go back there."
"Not so fast!" says Chris, "We are about to get to the cruise ship, where Carlos will decide who will he take to the final two... Right now!"
The three contestants plus Chris are shown in the usual elimination area. This time, however, Inna and Patricia are sitting on folding chairs while Carlos stands up next to the host.
Chris says, "Carlos, today you have the most important decision of the game. Who will you take to the finale to compete against? The decision is yours," the host hands Carlos a marshmallow, "Carlos, choose wisely."
Carlos laughs, "I don't even have to think much, really. Who should I take? The great competitor, and always supportive Inna, who was in my alliance since the merge? Or this one insane girl I barely know, who has some kind of sick obsession in seeing me out of this game? I will give my final marshmallow to you...."
"What's your name again? Priscilla?" asks Carlos handing the marshmallow to Patricia, whose mouth is hanging open.
Inna starts tearing up.
"With that," says Chris, "Patricia and Carlos are our final two! Inna, the Lifesaver of Losers is waiting."
Inna starts yelling while crying, "How could you, Carlos! You're such a-"
"Goodbye, Inna," Carlos says, louder than her, "Sorry, but that's a game, you're stronger than her! Have fun on the Losers Resort!"
The small boat descends into the ocean while Inna looks down, feeling betrayed, "I thought we were solid," she says to herself, "I guess I was stupid. Well, at least I got something out of this game..." Inna smiles and says, "My little friend," she chuckles.
Chris is shown back in the cruise ship, "Looks like we have it, our final two! Who will win it all? The almighty Kentucky Carlos, or... That other girl? Find out in next time, in the season finale of S.S. Total Drama!"
Chapter 17 - The Conflict That Never Was[]
Chris is shown standing in the main deck, the ship's pool is covered by some kind of iron lid, and bleachers full of people are set up behind him, "Last time, on S.S. Total Drama," the host starts, "Our final three had to compete in a cliché'd Chinese food challenge, Inna quickly quit to avoid going against her morals, but Carlos and Patricia fought, until the girl's strategy backfired and made herself lose the challenge... And the contents in her stomach," Chris pauses, and clears his throat, "I'm here to announce that the long journey of those twenty competitors around the world will come to an end, and the the second biggest rivalry on the game, If I can even call them a rivalry, that is, made it to the final two in the most predictable elimination ceremony yet! Will all these days of ranting about Carlos finally pay off for Patricia? Or will all the days of not knowing about Patricia's existence favor Carlos? Find out today, on the not-so-long-awaited conclusion of S.S. Total Drama!"
Carlos is shown waking up in his cabin, alone. He says in the confessional, "I just came to this show for more publicity, to think I would actually make it to the final two is kinda surprising. It shows me I'm still good for this kind of stuff!"
The man heads to the cabin's door while thinking out loud, "Gotta get some bacon and eggs," he tries to open the door to no avail, "Huh?" Carlos looks around and sees a television screen on the wall of the cabin, "Was that always here?"
Patricia is shown alone on her cabin, writing something on a notebook.
"I couldn't sleep last night," she says on the confessional, "All the excitement is too much to handle, going directly against Carlos is the finals... I'm just not so sure if I can actually win."
She looks at the television screen on her cabin, "How did I not see them putting this here?" she asks herself, "I was awake the whole night," she walks to the door, but notices it doesn't open, "Ha, ha! Very funny, Chris. Open this door already, I need some breakfast!" Patricia sits on the floor and sighs, "Guess I'm not getting out of here that early."
Chris is shown in front of two slightly occupied bleachers, "Welcome, fans and family of our finalists, to the finale of S.S. Total Drama!" the audience cheers, but Chris continues, "I'm sure you are all excited to see this final challenge, but first, let us introduce our eliminated contestants."
Two women are shown, accidentally bumping, in the end where both bleachers meet. One is young, beautiful and wears a yellow sweater that say "I ♥ Carlos", the other is an older blond lady wearing glasses and a black dress.
"Oh, sorry," the older one says.
"It's okay," the other replies.
The older women's eyes widen as she asks, "Aren't you Ember Birch?"
"I sure am," she says sweetly.
"You are amazing!" says the women with glasses.
"Why, thank you," says Ember, "And you must be... Patricia's grandma?"
The older woman's eye starts twitching, "I-I'm Sue," she says containing her anger, "Patricia's m-mother."
Ember blushes, "Oh, sorry! I'm-"
"It's okay," says Sue sinisterly, with forced smile, "It's okay."
The focus goes back to Chris, "First of all, we have Cillian!"
The skinny blond boy comes from inside the ship to the deck, " 'sup Chris,"
"Welcome, Cillian! Would you care to chose a support section?" says Chris.
Cillian says, "I barely got to know any of those guys, so I'll support Carlos. From what I've seen on TV, the guy is epic!" the boy sits down on Carlo's section.
"Next up is Antonio!" announces Chris.
Antonio steps on the deck, "Greetings," he says with an awkward smile on his face.
"He's so hot!" says a nondescript women who is sitting on Patricia's cheering section.
"I'm going to support Carlos," says Antonio, "From all the things Patricia said, I feel bad for the guy."
Anamaria walks in, screaming, "I told you I don't want raisins, give me my chicken!"
"Anamaria!" says Chris, "Please, chose your support section."
Anamaria growls, "Gah, where's chicken!?"
Ember gets up on Carlos' bleachers holding a box of chicken nuggets, "We have chicken!" she says sweetly.
"Chicken!" Anamaria says, rushing to Carlos' supporting section. She snatches the box out of the lady's hands and hugs it tightly.
Ember is shown in the confessional, "I brought that present for her in case the number of supporters has any effect in the results," she looks around, "What? I'm always prepared for the unexpected."
Chris says, "The next contestant, Xavier refused to come back here, so here we have Dominic!"
"DoMia," says the overweight man, who has his hair much shorter and a full beard, "Dominic is no more."
Chris shudders, "Whatever you say."
"I'll support Carlos, man," says Dominic, "Patricia seemed kind of... Cray cray."
Sue looks down sadly from the bleachers, but is startled by a loud noise.
"Whooooooooooo!" Lizzie comes from inside the ship, "Hello Chris, hi guys! So, today I'm supporting my girl Patricia, even though she wasn't that pleasant to be around. You know, girls have to stick together!"
"Fair enough," says Chris, "Coming now we have..." the host raises his eyebrows and looks puzzled.
Cleo steps on the deck, "Me," she says dryly.
Chris looks at her, confused and asks, "Who?"
"Cleo!" she yells, impatiently.
Chris keeps staring at her, "Who?"
Cleo sighs and sits down on Patricia's section.
Chris says, "Come in, Foreman!"
Foreman steps in carrying Inna in a piggyback ride, "Faster!" she orders, jokingly.
"Calm down," Foreman replies, "We're just beginning, do you want me to have a heart attack before our first date?" Inna bursts out laughing.
Chris says, "I guess I'll never get these two."
"You sure won't, gnome," Foreman barks at Chris before sitting in Patricia's section with Inna.
Inna says, "Well, she was a pain in the neck, but at least she didn't betray me."
Sue says proudly to Ember, in the bleachers, "That's my girl."
Mathew steps on the deck looking mad.
"What's the matter, Matt," says Chris, "Can't choose who to support?"
Matthew says, "Carlos betrayed me, and Patricia is a *BLEEP*," Sue looks horrified from the bleachers, "Can I just jump on the ocean instead?" asks Mathew.
"If you say so," says Chris just before hearing a loud splash in the water. His eyes widen as he says, "Wait, I wasn't serious!" The host looks behind as she feels someone tapping his shoulders, it is revealed to be Ryan.
"Hello Mr McLean," he says, "Can I pick my supporting section now?"
Chris sighs and says, "Go ahead."
Ryan sits on Patricia's section, "I don't really know her, but..." he blushes, "I have a feeling something good might happen to me if I sit here."
"Mhm," says Chris, "Next!"
Mallory walks up to Chris and says, "I obviously have to support my idol Carlos," she sits on his support section and notices Ember, "Ooh, you're Amber Birch? You're incredible! I have read your entire guide for girls."
"That explains your intelligence," Dominic says obnoxiously, earning glares from both Mallory and Ember.
Louie is the next one to step in, "Hello Chris," he says, walking in his direction with open arms.
Chris says, "Aww, thank-"
Louie walks past Chris, "Mal Mal!" he says before hugging Mallory tightly. The girl looks uncomfortable while the jolly boy lashes her with compliments, "You smell so good, my Bunnycake, these clothes look perfect on you, really... Juicy." Mallory angrily rolls her eyes.
Ember is shown in the confessional, "If that's the boyfriend she got after reading my guide for girls, I think I'm starting to regret having written it in first place."
"Halle," says Chris, "The one and only."
They shake hands, "What's up Chris, my brother."
"Not much," says Chris, "But even though it's you, we can't make an exception. Could you pick a side so we can get to the challenge faster?"
"Sure," Halle says, "I'll pick Carlos, he's a bro," she says, sitting on Carlos' support section.
Terry is the next to arrive, "Hello Mr McLean! So, I'm supporting Patricia, because she is a really sweet-" she abruptly stops mid-sentence, "Halleeeeeeeeeeee!" she screams while joining Carlos' supporting section and hugging her friend.
Chris says, "Okay, you can go back to Patricia's section."
"Nah, I think I'll stay there," Terry says while playing with Halle's hair.
Chris says, "Okay, then. Here comes Lana!
Lana slouches past Chris, "I'm supporting Patricia all the way, great friend," she says without emotion
Ryan smiles as he hears Lana will be joining him. Lana stops in the middle of the bleachers and looks at Terry on Carlos' supporting section. Ryan frowns upon noticing that.
Lana is shown in the confessional, smiling, "Screw that," she says.
She is now shown in Patricia's supporting section sitting next to Ryan, while the boy smiles.
Chris says, "Here comes our next contestant, Meredith!"
"Hello, Chris," Meredith says.
"You can choose your support section," the host replies.
"Well, that's not a tough decision," says Meredith, "I'm obviously supporting Carlos."
Chris and most people on the bleachers gasp, shocked.
Meredith laughs, "Just kidding," she says before sitting in Patricia's supporting section.
Lance walks past Chris.
"Lance!" Chris says, but is ignored.
The young man sits on Patricia's supporting section and mumbles, "She was right, Carlos hated me all along... Traitor."
"Okay," announces Chris, "We have all the eliminated contestants here, time to contact our competitors!"
The audience cheers as a large screen is placed on the deck, it turns on and reveals a split screen. Each half shows a cabin with one of the finalists.
"Can you both hear me?" asks Chris.
In the contestants' cabin, each of the finalists could see Chris from their television, "Yes, Chris," both of them say.
"So let's start your final challenge," says Chris, "This challenge will test your searching skills, your cooking skills, your... Searching skills again, because we are that original," Patricia rolls her eyes.
The host continues, "As I was saying, your puzzle making skills, your physical skills, your fears, and finally... An extra factor that may change everything."
Carlos laughs at Chris' comment, "Those never work, Chris."
"Keep thinking that," Chris says, "But let me explain the whole challenge. First of all, you have to find a key hidden in your cabin, once you find it, open the door and head to the cruise ship's kitchen. In the kitchen, each of you will have to properly prepare a steak, if the judge approves, you move on. For the next part, you have to dive in the ship's pool, which happens to be filled with mud. Inside it, you will search for ten bags, blue for Patricia, red for Carlos. Each bag contains three wooden pieces that will be used later. Once you collect all the bags, you will start climbing a ladder that leads to a suspended platform, however, you will have to fit these sticks on the missing steps to move on, each stick fits a certain step, though, like a puzzle. Once you're on top, you'll take a zipline and land in that nearby isle. In that isle there are two piles of coconuts, once you get there you have to start throwing coconuts against a rock formation. Most of the coconuts contain normal, white, coconut water, but each pile has a coconut filled with red paint. The first person to break a coconut filled with red paint will be declared the winner of S.S. Total Drama an receive the million dollar prize. Are you both ready?"
The two finalists nod, "Go!" says Chris.
Patricia sits on her bed and stars thinking aloud, "Where would a key be?" Meanwhile, Carlos is flipping over all the mattresses in his cabin, "Not here!"
Patricia is shown removing the pipe of the bathroom's sink, "Maybe it's inside here."
The girl is shown in the confessional, "I don't think I overthought at all during that challenge.... Okay, maybe I did a little."
"Come on!" Carlos yells, "Chris is not that smart to hide it in an elaborate place," he removes a mirror from the wall and finds the key hanging behind it, "Yes!" he quickly unlocks the door and runs to the kitchen.
Patricia says, "Ugh, not here. I mean, Chris wouldn't be stupid enough to hide it under the paintings on the wall, would he?"
Carlos is shown rubbing a steak in olive oil, "Good thing I watched Ember doing this all these years... I just hope I remember."
"Not here," says Patricia, removing the painting from the wall, one by one, "Not here either," she removes the mirror, "Aha!"
Carlos sprinkles some onion slices over the steak, which is already in a broiling pan.
Ember is shown in the confessional, "If Carlos gets that steak right, I'll never let him use the 'I can't cook' excuse again!"
Patricia arrives in the kitchen, she starts slicing an onion while talking to Carlos, "So... How are you feeling today?"
Patricia is shown in the confessional, "As much as I'd prefer to eat a cactus over having a conversation with Carlos, it was all part of my strategy, you know, to make him lose his concentration."
"I'm fine, I guess," answers Carlos, while flipping his steak on the pan.
Patricia puts the onion aside and starts rubbing the steak in olive oil, "So, I'm super excited about being in the final two!" she says with enthusiasm.
"I guess you are," says Carlos, "But for me, it's just a Thursday," he says, handing a plate with a steak to the judge, Chef Hatchet.
Patricia says, "But it's Friday!"
"You're okay," Chef growls to Carlos.
Carlos runs to the pool and says to Patricia, "I don't care!"
Patricia groans in anger while broiling her steak.
Carlos is says in the confessional, "That girl had to be faking, she can't say a good thing to me. So my plan was just act smug... Not that I don't do that all the time anyway," he laughs.
Carlos is digging in the mud for bags of puzzle, "Oh, I found one, "he takes it out of the mud and notices it's a blue one. He groans and throws it away.
Patricia is shown receiving an approval from Chef Hatchet, "Thanks Chef!" she says before running away.
Both contestants are now digging for bags, "Oh, found one," says Patricia.
Carlos is shown in the confessional, "All this lead for nothing. I won't accept to lose in a luck based challenge!"
"Yay, another one!" she cheers loudly, almost rubbing the bag in Carlos' face.
Ember says from the bleachers, "Find one, Carlos! Show that classless girl who's boss!" Sue glares at her.
Patricia now has three bags, while Carlos has one, "Oh, what's this?" Patricia says after finding her bag Carlos threw away, "I guess it's four for me!"
"Got one!" says Carlos, retrieving his second bag.
Patricia is now shown climbing the ladder with five bags, "Okay, now I have to fit a piece in this step."
"Carlos is good at puzzles," she says in the confessional, "I have to give my best there!"
Carlos gets his fourth bag, while Patricia is in her second step.
"I'm great at puzzles, says Carlos in the confessional, "So I didn't really let my bad luck in that part of the challenge get to me."
Patricia is shown trying to fit her pieces on the steps, "Ugh, that one doesn't fit either!"
Carlos starts climbing the ladder with all his pieces, and Patricia quickly finishes her third, "You think you can pass me?" she provokes
"No," he says, "I already did," he says as he flies past her on the ladder. Patricia brings her hand to her forehead.
Sue screams from the bleachers, "Don't slow down, pick up the pace! It's not over!"
"Listen to your mom!" Meredith shouts, "You can do it!"
Carlos is shown working on his last step while Patricia is three steps behind, "Sorry, Priscilla, but I think you should stop trying now," Carlos says as he finishes his last step.
Once up the platform, a man equips Carlos with adequate gear for him to take the zipline to the nearby isle, "Could you do this faster?" Carlos asks, "I'm about to win another million dollars."
As soon as the man finishes equipping him, Patricia gets to the platform and starts getting ready, "Could you do this faster," Patricia asks the man, while Carlos is already in his zipline ride, "I'm about to lose my dignity," she says dryly.
Carlos lands on the isle and finds an enormous pile of coconuts, he gets a little surprised by the amount, but starts throwing them against the rock. All of them have white contents, "Where's the red one? Come on!"
While Carlos throws coconuts viciously, Patricia lands in the isle behind him. The girl is shown in the confessional, "That scumbag has been here a lot longer than I, I have to pick the right coconut, or else..."
Patricia sticks her hands into the pile, picks up a the first coconut she gets to, and throws it with all her strength. The coconut smashes into the rock and its contents are...
White.
"Screw that!" screams Patricia, as she picks random coconuts from the top of the pile and starts throwing against the rock.
Carlos starts throwing them faster, he turns to Patricia, while throwing, and says, "You think you can beat me, girl? Tell me: up to now, when have you beat me?"
Patricia doesn't answer.
"What's up?" Carlos asks, "Did I break you?"
Patricia's eyes start tearing up as she points to Carlos' rock. The man looks at his rock and sees a large red stain all over it, he opens a big smile as he hears Chris proclaiming from a speedboat at the distance.
"Congratulations, Carlos!" the host says, "You are the official winner of S.S. Total Drama!"
Carlos cheers as he hears his name being shouted from the ship.
"Come on, you two," says Chris, "Jump into that boat, I'll take you back to the ship to see your families."
Once arriving at the ship, a multitude of people, from both supporting sections, come to Carlos and start cheering for him. Patricia, however, runs to the extreme end of the front deck.
An older balding man in a suit approaches Carlos with a microphone, "Do you have anything to say now that you are the official winner of S.S. Total Drama?"
"Yes, I do," Carlos says, "I joined this show looking for more fame, but came out with a million dollars. Now, Kentucky Carlos can say that after making a mark in Outlaster, and The Astounding Race, he's finally made a mark in Total Drama!" people surrounding him cheer as loud as they can, his wife Ember come to him and kisses him on the lips. The kiss, however, is soon interrupted by his ecstatic fans lifting the winner up in the air and screaming his name.
During all the cheers and party from Carlos' victory, Patricia is shown leaning towards the extreme end of the front deck, looking at the ocean.
Meredith comes out of the party and approaches Patricia, "It's alright," she says, trying to comfort her.
"No it's not!" shouts Patricia, "I can't believe I lost to that... That... That glimmerous fop!"
Meredith's eyes widen as she asks, "That what?"
"I don't even know anymore," pouts Patricia.
Meredith says, "You're running out of insults, right?"
Patricia says, "No, I'm just..." she shouts now, "Yes, I am!"
Meredith says, "So that must be a sign. I guess it's time for you to move on and forget that... How was it again?"
"Forget that," says Patricia.
Meredith thinks, "Hmm... Glamorous flop?" she guesses.
Patricia chuckles and says, "I should really forget him. After all, there are so many obnoxious people out there, they just don't get the luxury of being broadcasted in national television."
Meredith nods, smiling, but Patricia continues, "And they are not filthy rich, adored, have fame,"
Meredith leaves Patricia alone, but the latter still continues, "Fans, recognition, a wife, kids, a luxurious mansion..." the girl widens her eyes and says, with a hint of fear and realization in her voice, "What am I doing with my life?"
Elimination Table[]
| # | Contestant | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Carlos | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | WIN | WIN | SAFE | WIN | WIN | LOW | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | WINNER |
| 2 | Patricia | SAFE | WIN | LOW | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | WIN | WIN | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | SAFE | LOW | WIN | LOW | SECOND |
| 3 | Inna | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | WIN | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | LOW | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | LOW | OUT | |
| 4 | Lance | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | WIN | WIN | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | LOW | SAFE | OUT | ||
| 5 | Meredith | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | WIN | WIN | LOW | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | SAFE | OUT | |||
| 6 | Lana | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | WIN | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | LOW | WIN | LOW | SAFE | SAFE | OUT | ||||
| 7 | Terry | SAFE | LOW | WIN | WIN | LOW | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | SAFE | QUIT | ||||
| 8 | Halle | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | WIN | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | LOW | WIN | OUT | ||||
| 9 | Louie | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | LOW | WIN | WIN | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | OUT | |||||
| 10 | Mallory | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | WIN | WIN | SAFE | WIN | OUT | ||||||
| 11 | Ryan | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | WIN | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | OUT | |||||||
| 12 | Mathew | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | WIN | WIN | OUT | ||||||||
| 13 | Foreman | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | WIN | SAFE | WIN | LOW | QUIT | |||||||||
| 14 | Cleo | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | WIN | SAFE | WIN | OUT | ||||||||||
| 15 | Lizzie | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | LOW | WIN | OUT | |||||||||||
| 16 | Dominic | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | WIN | OUT | ||||||||||||
| 17 | Xavier | SAFE | SAFE | WIN | WIN | LEFT | ||||||||||||
| 18 | Anamaria | SAFE | WIN | SAFE | OUT | |||||||||||||
| 19 | Antonio | SAFE | WIN | OUT | ||||||||||||||
| 20 | Cillian | SAFE | OUT |
Color Code:
- Was a member of the Soaring Seagulls.
- Was a member of the Clam Chowders.
- Won challenge.
- Safe.
- Bottom two.
- Voted-off.
- Left under special circumstances.