Most of these guessing games are dual-format: the usual “put your name by your choice” to have you guess on the public record; and a poll so you can tell us what you really think. There are currently no prizes on offer, because I can’t think of anything, but that could always change.
Don’t try to read anything into the order of the choices—it’s just alphabetical.
Mark your choice below if you want to have your guess on record, in case I can actually think of a prize. Don't forget to vote in the poll, as well (not necessarily for the same person):
- Beth: I don't know.. she's good? Mr.FluffyPants 02:10, September 13, 2011 (UTC)
- Bridgette: My second choice. Awesome Users & Friends: LF, Josie, Zoomer, SG, OHF, Snow, & Blaineley! 00:53, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Cody: Mrdaimion: Like you, only better. 00:43, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Courtney: Oh, come on. I bought KFC. It pretends to be southern, you pretend to be southern. Don't go there! 03:20, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- D.J.: Animal lover! :P JustLittleOlMe Lil Jay JLOM Mrs. Gideon 02:42, October 30, 2011 (UTC)
- Duncan: TDWT>TDI-Slicer37 00:48, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Eva: LalaineeSUBLIMINAL MESSAGE HERE 02:05, September 12, 2011 (UTC)
- Ezekiel: We stopped checking for monsters under our beds when we realized they were inside us. 07:00, August 10, 2015 (UTC)
- Gwen: Watch out, He’s one of them. Zap! Way to go, Zoom. 17:58, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Harold:--Radicalm18 "Nice guys finish last, that's why I'll treat you like trash." 00:53, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Heather: I don't think she's gonna win, but I wanna her to win. Bruno! Talk! Editcount! 03:30, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Izzy: SG has a habit of changing his siggy once a month. 01:17, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Justin: Sprinklemisthasn't changed his signature in a long time. 03:29, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
- Katie:--Kenzen - Talk - Edits 01:54, September 12, 2011 (UTC)
- LeShawna: Goldenshane 02:42, September 12, 2011 (UTC)
- Lindsay: I really wish you could all be California boys. 00:52, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Noah: --HINT:A AWESOME USER,that loves Chatango and Chatting but wonders,what's with Cyan? 01:57, September 12, 2011 (UTC)
- Owen: I'm Owen I am fat, tubby, and fun I fart alot, burp alot, and eat alot 04:22, January 19, 2014 (UTC)
- Sadie: Reddude
- Trent: ~ 17:54, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Tyler: Koops
- Cody: I ate a cupcake once, it tasted like chicken
Final Three Guessing
This is the only guessing game without a poll option, because there are too many possibilities to put in a poll. Bonus points for getting them in order of finish, so here's another way to get your winner guess on record if your first choice in the Winner Guessing was taken. Record your guess below:
Izzy, Duncan, Ezekiel TDWT>TDI-Slicer37 00:48, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
Bridgette, DJ, Gwen - This diaper is my virtue. My anus is the demon of doo-doo. 01:07, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
Sadie, Lindsay, and Noah. No one ever let's Bridgette, my favorite go far so I have lost faith, for now. --HINT:A AWESOME USER,that loves Chatango and Chatting but wonders,what's with Cyan? 01:58, September 12, 2011 (UTC)
Gwen, Lindsay, and Cody. :D If you have found this, you are a stealth ninja. Where'd my signature go? 01:08, October 30, 2011 (UTC)
Ezekiel, Lindsay, Katie We stopped checking for monsters under our beds when we realized they were inside us. 07:00, August 10, 2015 (UTC)
In the prologue, the Storyteller said that she did “pretty well” but didn’t win. Keep that in mind when recording your guess, especially if you have an entry in the Winner Guessing.
Mark your choice below if you want to have your guess on record, in case I can actually think of a prize. Don't forget to vote in the poll, as well (not necessarily for the same person):
- Beth: --HINT:A AWESOME USER,that loves Chatango and Chatting but wonders,what's with Cyan? 01:58, September 12, 2011 (UTC)
- Bridgette: I really wish you could all be California boys. 00:52, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Courtney:--Radicalm18 "Nice guys finish last, that's why I'll treat you like trash." 00:54, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Eva: LalaineeSUBLIMINAL MESSAGE HERE 02:07, September 12, 2011 (UTC)
- Gwen: TDWT>TDI-Slicer37 00:48, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Heather: Mrdaimion: Like you, only better. 00:41, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Izzy: Bruno! Talk! Editcount! 03:30, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Katie: ~ 17:54, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- LeShawna:- The Anonymous User 04:03, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Lindsay: Reddude
- Sadie: Oh, come on. I bought KFC. It pretends to be southern, you pretend to be southern. Don't go there! 03:20, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
If you did the math in the Prologue, you know that Brett is the right age to have been conceived either during the competition or within a few months afterward. If some of the options seem unlikely and/or squicky, I’m just covering all the bases.
Mark your guess below if you want to have your guess on record, in case I can actually think of a prize. Don't forget to vote in the poll, as well (not necessarily for the same person):
- D.J.: Oh, come on. I bought KFC. It pretends to be southern, you pretend to be southern. Don't go there! 03:20, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Duncan:- The Anonymous User 04:03, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Ezekiel: --HINT:A AWESOME USER,that loves Chatango and Chatting but wonders,what's with Cyan? 01:59, September 12, 2011 (UTC)
- Geoff: LalaineeSUBLIMINAL MESSAGE HERE 02:06, September 12, 2011 (UTC)
- Noah:--Radicalm18 "Nice guys finish last, that's why I'll treat you like trash." 00:56, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Owen: Bruno! Talk! Editcount! 03:30, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Trent: Watch out, He’s one of them. Zap! Way to go, Zoom. 17:59, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Tyler: ~ 18:01, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Alejandro the intern: JustLittleOlMe Lil Jay JLOM Mrs. Gideon 01:41, November 13, 2011 (UTC)
- another intern:
- Chef Hatchet:
- someone not connected to the show: TDWT>TDI-Slicer37 00:48, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
I just know I will really enjoy this story, as it is basically the telling of Total Drama Island from the perspective of a contestant, which means we get to see another side of the story! If I had to guess who the story is being told by, I would have to guess either Heather, Gwen or Courtney, but I guess I will just have to wait and see!- The Anonymous User 03:33, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
Oh. Mai. Gawd. This. Was. Epic. So. Much. I. Can't. Speak. Without. One. Word. Setntences. XD. Epic. Job! --Reddude
Oh my goodness. *adds to bookmark widget* Another FF to stalk on My Home.
Any particular reason for that guess, TAU, beyond the fact that those three were central to my previous stories? Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 04:22, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
Epic! I loved this "chapter" of the story. After a year of waiting...I get to see Gideon write again! Goldenshane 13:11, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
Bet it's Eva.-Nad331
It could always be Leshawna or Bridgette...for me, it gives me a Heather or Bridgette vibe. Izzy drowned at the age of twenty-six after sinking from a ship, remember? XD...weird Legacy reference...Dark clouds all around, lightning rain is pouring down! 17:54, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
I guessed one of those three as they seem most likely and most fitting to tell a Gideoncrawle-style tale about the horrors of first-season TDI. I know Heather and Gwen were infamous for griping about every minute detail of Chris' sadism or Chef's brutality/culinary "skills" or just the experience as a whole. I chose Courtney for similar reasons, but she was only a second-quarter out, so she would be less likely if it weren't for her seemingly timeless grudge-holding skills.- The Anonymous User 01:39, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
@ TAU: Keep in mind that this is a reimagining, which means (among other things) a different elimination order, so Courntey's status as a 2nd-quarter casualty in the original wouldn't necessarily be significant.
@ Shane: I'm not sure where you get the "year of waiting", unless you weren't aware that I started posting my Courtney story a few weeks ago. That cuts the year into two more or less equal parts. (Granted, CatVoD has neither the scope of LTDI nor the emotional power of Legacy, but still...) Also, while TDI-G&S is rather a different animal, it nevertheless showcases certain elements of my writing, most notably my sense of humor (as Sprink has noted elsewhere). There's also a chance that I may have a one-shot or two, or perhaps another Fake Souls chapter, between now and the official launch of LTDI.
@ all: In addition to the standard Winner Guessing and/or Final Three Guessing, I will also have Storyteller Guessing. (Probably by poll, unless I can think of a prize.) I don't think it's revealing too much to say that the storyteller's identity will not be explicity revealed until near the end, but there will be certain clues throughout the story, mainly in the way certain contestants are depicted. The beauty of this--not the main reason I'm doing it, but a nice bonus--is that, if I should happen to slip and make a character a little too out of character or a little too Mary Sue-ish, it can be ascribed to the storyteller's biases and/or imperfect memory.
I will also have guessing on one other matter alluded to in the Prologue. (Hint: do the math.) Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:43, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
Please tell me it's Courtney or Izzy, I just get that feeling. Christin McClean actually hosting? So this means your story is in the Sunshineverse?! That is so cool. I really can't comment on the story, since it really hasn't started yet.I love you when you dance when you're freestyling trance So pure such an expression 14:39, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
I had planned almost from the beginning to mention Christin by name in the Prologue, because she ties in to the "Legend Of" part, and I have recently been thinking that she may actually appear in one scene. (I did change the spelling of her surname to match the most widely accepted spelling.) I chose Christin, instead of some relative of my own invention, because--well, really for no other reason than to please a friend. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 16:29, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
If then. My Featured User interview, scheduled to appear in the September newsletter, will have more details. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 04:06, August 25, 2010 (UTC)
Prologue = epic win, Gideon. I seriously cannot wait for the rest of this story, and not just 'cause my character got mentioned. XD It seriously looks absolutely amazing, even just from the prologue. I seemed to get a Gwen-ish vibe from the storyteller, but I wouldn't be surprised if you fooled us all and made the narrator someone completely unexpected. Now I just have to wait until the spring...
@TDIRM: Sunshineverse? I have a universe? o.o *grabs crown and scepter* *ALL HAIL MY UNIVERSE XD* (And now I await the many people giving me worried glances out of the corner of their eye, as per usual... XD) --Sunshineandravioli- Legendary Pixie! RAVIOLI EVERYWHERE! 15:15, September 2, 2010 (UTC)
@Sunshine: All hail the Sun Queen! (There was a Sun King--Louis XIII of France--so why not a Sun Queen?) Yes, I know that was OT... Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 16:50, September 2, 2010 (UTC)
Great prolouge, Gideon! I'm so excited for this to start, and I'm kinda really looking forward to that LAL parody you mentioned in your Featured User interview. xD -- I sing the song of the fading silver star... 17:30, September 2, 2010 (UTC)
In order to add to the theory that this story was, intentionally or not, created for me, I'd like to mention a realization I had the other day: I suddenly recalled that, almost a year ago, I started planning out an eventual follow up to my (now on hiatus) competition story Total Drama Fame. This story, set several years afterwards, starred several original characters as well as offspring of original characters. The title of this fanfic was none other than "Total Drama: the Next Generation". I figured this little tidbit would amuse all of you. XD --Sunshineandravioli- Legendary Pixie! RAVIOLI EVERYWHERE! 23:45, September 18, 2010 (UTC)
Also, Sunshine, you may recall a tie-in I mentioned on a peripherally related blog discussion, a tie-in between one of LTDI's talent show acts and a way you have fun naming your Pokemon. (If you don't remember that, I wont repeat it here. No point in spoiling twice.) Anyway, if you feel a degree of "ownership" from all this--especially the things I'm doing intentionally--then so much the better. Not only will you enjoy the story more, but I will eventually be in the market for someone (or multiple someones) to illustrate it. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 20:18, September 19, 2010 (UTC)
OMG. I just read this the prologue and previews. THIS STORY IS SO INCREDIBLE!!!! Or the previews and prologue are. I CAN'T wait to read this. Are you going to post it all at once or a chapter at a time? Either way this story sounds incredible. I like all the poetry in. I love how you wrote everyone so unique. And I LOVED all the ROMANCE. I can't tell who is with Courtney though. Is it Duncan, DJ or Eziekel? I guess I'll have to wait. What is this rated? And will we find out who the mom is first or at the end. And how does the mom know everything thats going on? Not that I don't love nor not want the mom. The mom is a really cool part. Can't wait for more. Are you planning on giving a preview for st. patrick's day? Rhonda the stalker fan! 05:16, March 7, 2011 (UTC)
I'm kind of way later than everybody else, but I just started reading this because no time like the present, right? I loved the prologue and I'm already infatuated, so I think I'll go ahead and read the next chapter right now. I've heard good things about this story (Mostly from TBTDIF) and have been meaning to read it for a while, anyway, and I definitely will now. :3 We found dove in a soapless place... 15:28, May 8, 2013 (UTC)
A little Q&A
In the comment immediately preceding this section, Rhonda asked several questions. Since she’s undoubtedly not the only one who would be interested to know, I will answer them in this section.
Are you going to post it all at once or a chapter at a time?
- I’ll be posting one chapter at a time, because that tends to generate more feedback. When I’m ready for the official launch, I expect to post either every week or every two weeks, depending on how many chapters there are and how long they are. I will post Chapter one when it’s ready, rather than waiting for the official launch, because it will have little more than the character intros and will probably be the longest chapter in the whole story.
I can't tell who is with Courtney though. Is it Duncan, DJ or Eziekel?
- At this stage, you’re not supposed to know. One of my criteria for selecting preview scenes is that they can’t have more than minor spoiler potential. I’ll let you in on a little secret, though: an early chapter actually mentions a fourth prospect for Courtney.
- In the time that I’ve been working on LTDI, the story has gone in various directions that I didn’t necessarily intend, and Courtney’s popularity with the boys is one of these. This is partly because the LTDI Courtney retains the personality that her canon counterpart started with: bossy and driven, but friendly and generally well-meaning.
What is this rated?
- LTDI is rated PG-13 for adult situations and mature subject matter. “Mature subject matter” is a fairly nebulous term, but “adult situations” usually means sexual content. “Adult situations”, though, is not to be confused with “explicit content”, which requres an R rating. The difference is in the level of detail.
- For example, suppose a story calls for Duncan to have sex with Sunshine (a scenario I played with in one of the Valentine’s Day scenes). R-rated “explicit content” means that their encounter would be described in considerable detail, perhaps even a “play-by-play”. (Note, however, that if you have too much detail, or if its too graphic, it could go into the realm of pornography, which most fanfic sites don’t even allow.) Conversely, a PG-13 “adult situation” might describe something leading up to “the act” (e.g. the couple retiring to a private room) or after it (e.g. waking up in the same bed) without any mention of the “encounter” itself, or it might be stated that they had sex, with little or no detail given, or their fornication might be described in the sort of euphemistic terms common in romance novels. Note that, other things being equal, sex between 16-year-olds does NOT normally require a more restrictive rating than sex between 18-year-olds or even 21-year-olds.
- One of the “mature subjects” LTDI deals with is teen pregnancy. Readers who did the math from the prologue learned that the Storyteller’s son is the right age to have been conceived either during the competition or shortly afterward. When LTDI launches, I plan to have four guessing games: winner guessing, Final Three guessing, Storyteller guessing, and paternity guessing.
Will we find out who the mom is first or at the end?
- The Storyteller’s identity won’t be explicitly revealed until near the end, but I suspect that many—perhaps even most—readers will have it figured out well before then. There will be clues throughout the story, mainly in the way that certain campers are depicted.
How does the mom know everything that’s going on?
- By talking to other ex-campers after arriving at the Playa de Losers and at the reunion, by watching the finished episodes, and by watching additional footage—especially confessionals—that the producers made available at the Playa de Losers to help the losers with their votes. There is also some educated guesswork on the Storyteller’s part for the sake of a more interesting story, and the Storyteller is undoubtedly embellishing certain details, especially in the story’s more cartoonish elements. (It’s called a "legend", after all. Besides, it's been 17 years.)
Are you planning on giving a preview for st. patrick's day?
- No. Although I’ll make exceptions for special situations (e.g. posting romance and romance-related scenes on Valentines day, or posting the Courtney/Ezekiel scene on short notice because it was topical to events on the wiki) I have generally been posting previews on a two-month cycle. Since I previewed four scenes last month, and I don’t have anything that specifically fits St. Patty’s Day, the next preview will be around the end of April.
- Sometime between now and then, I may do something special for my 3,000th edit. Perhaps the LTDI tropes listing (from the TV Tropes website) that I mentioned previously. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:04, March 13, 2011 (UTC)
My fans have spoken and, over a single dissenting vote, you have called for additional previews on my blog page whilst you wait for the official launch. The next preview is scheduled for Saturday, 30 October, and will be part of my Halloween-themed 2,000th Edit Special. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:15, October 21, 2010 (UTC)
For the sake of completeness, here's a link to the first preview, a scene from the talent show, which I posted two months before I created the story page.
The second set of previews is up. My Halloween Special blog post includes two LTDI scenes fitting the Halloween theme. These are Gwen's arrival (because her Gothic aesthetic fits the occasion) and a scene from the phobia challenge. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 00:55, November 1, 2010 (UTC)
The third preview is posted. This preview features a scene that fits the "renewal" theme of New Year's Day, and also relates to an impending event in my own life. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 00:22, January 4, 2011 (UTC)
I have posted an unscheduled preview. I had not intended to preview this particular scene, because it has a couple of minor spoilers, but I decided that its ripped-from-the-wiki-headlines topicality made up for that. Don't worry, though, LTDI fans, you'll still get the "hot 'n' steamy" Valentine's Day preview I promised you. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 14:15, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
The Valentine's Day preview is now posted. This preview includes a couple of polls, so please vote. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:58, February 15, 2011 (UTC)
The sixth preview is now posted. This time, it's two short scenes, the first of which gives a look at the mother-and-son framing story. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:40, May 2, 2011 (UTC)
For those of you who are fans of the TV Tropes website, I have worked up a listing of tropes appearing in LTDI, as part of my 3,000th Edit special. Based on what I've written so far, and on the notes I've sketched out, I have identified an even 200 tropes in LTDI. There are undoubtedly more that I haven't identified yet, or that will appear as I write additional scenes. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:11, May 12, 2011 (UTC)
I have posted a holiday preview marking the anniversary (more or less) of the day that I announced this project to the wiki. This preview illustrates how I am making my story Darker and Edgier than the original by (among other methods) playing for drama certain incidents that the original played for laughs. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 23:41, July 3, 2011 (UTC)
Prologue/Prelaunch Discussion, part 2
Thanks for answering my questions! Rhonda the stalker fan! 08:44, March 13, 2011 (UTC)
Please tell me that the chapters will be posted, soon. I'm really digging this! :D I also loved that recent preview blog featuring the Heather/LeShawna conflict. ♪I wish that I could have this moment 4 life♫ ♪Whenever you call, baby I'll roll up♫ ♪After a hurricane comes a rainbow♫ 23:24, July 17, 2011 (UTC)
Wow... Never thought I'd see the day where LTDI actually started! XD Judging from previews, I'll be rooting for Sadie. She's one of my favorite characters and VERY underused. Can't wait! --Spotted at the hottest shows, interview on Charlie Rose, they all want a piece of you! 03:15, August 20, 2011 (UTC)
It's starting in a few weeks! :D I can't say I've waited as long as some others, but I'm excited. Since I'm such a slow reader, it would probably take me like an hour to read each chapter, but whatever. XD SG has a habit of changing his siggy once a month. 04:51, August 20, 2011 (UTC)
First Night discussion & polls
First Night Polls
First Night Discussion
Well...What can I say. I really, really enjoyed the first posting. I don't really know how to describe my feelings, but it feels like how it seemed when I first started watching Total Drama Island. It is a feeling of wonderful, new...a "what is this?" kind of feeling. I can't wait for the next posting. Great job, Gideon. TDIwriterRuining everyone's fun since 2009! 23:59, September 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Now that you mention it, that was the sort of reaction I was hoping for when I decided to write the intros as if the reader had never heard of TDI. The high word count was the price I paid for that, but I'm gratified that it seems to have worked out well. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 21:06, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
Wow. This was amazing. There's so much I wanna talk about, but there's too much. It would take me an hour to say the amazing things in this story. It's like Total Drama Island reimagining, but in a much deeper and nostalgic way. It's like the regular Total Drama, but with much deeper insight on the contestants. Noah is much more than just the average sarcastic bookworm. He's a charmer with his intellect. I'm not usually the best reader, but I couldn't stop reading this (Okay, I skipped over a couple very detailed paragraphs :P). I'm especially excited to see Gwen in this story. The insight focused on her arrival was amazing, and made me look at the canon Gwen in a whole different way. I'm guessing the elimination order will be different, although I don't know if you've revealed that, but I'm excited to see what happened. Well done, Gideon.--Radicalm18 "Nice guys finish last, that's why I'll treat you like trash." 00:07, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
- A word to the wise, Radi: depending on which "very detailed" paragraphs you skipped over, it's possible that you may have missed a joke and/or a bit of foreshadowing. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:17, September 18, 2011 (UTC)
Oh crap was my first thing I thought when I saw the chapter knowing that it was this long but I think it's worth it. I loved the way you explained things and I'm hoping the eliminations won't be the same as Total Drama Island. I kind of find it as boring because some of my favorite characters didn't get their chance to shine. --HINT:A AWESOME USER,that loves Chatango and Chatting but wonders,what's with Cyan? 00:55, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
- The elimination order is different from the original. As I've said elsewhere, how well I liked a given character in the original actually has little bearing on how far that character will get in LTDI. Some of my favorites do well, some don't. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 00:58, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
OH MY GIDEON THAT WAS AWESOME! Sorry to go all caps but I loved that. TDIwriter said it well when he said it was like when seeing Total Drama Island the first time. You portrayed them so well. It was funny and extremely witty. You've given it a lot of depth. I'm still taking in what I just read. I can't decide who I like best! You answered a lot of the questions Total Drama Island left (like how the boat brings one contestant at a time). I really liked Izzy. She was super funny and I really loved the Sunshine joke. I think you gave everyone a good amount of screentime and didn't feel like anyone was too minor. I'm so excited for the next chapter! Oh, come on. I bought KFC. It pretends to be southern, you pretend to be southern. Don't go there! 01:05, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
- As I've said elsewhere, Rhonda, I'm trying to make LTDI more of an ensemble story than the original was. (My readers will be the judges of how successful I am at this.) I obviously can't give everyone equal prominence and keep it remotely believable, but I'm trying to give even the backgrounders and secondary characters moments to shine. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:22, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Well I thought you did a good job. And Kgman reminded me of something I thought was interesting. The screaming team had the red background and the killer team had the green. XD I found that interesting. Oh, come on. I bought KFC. It pretends to be southern, you pretend to be southern. Don't go there! 02:09, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
This brought back so many memories from the first time I watched an episode of TDI. It's amazing. As long as this chapter was, I didn't want it to end. Everyone was explained in so much detail, and I just really enjoyed it. Also, "The team names have been changed because the author never liked the name, “Killer Bass” and didn’t want to change one team name without changing the other." - I thought I was the only one who hated that name, hehe. Can't wait for more! ~ Kgman04! ♪ Talk! ♫ Contribs! 01:24, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
Really good chapter. Like everybody above said, it brought back some memories about the first time I've watched TDI. I loved how everyone had a good amount of screentime. Specially Katie and Sadie, whose doesn't had any development in the canon series, had a pretty good amount of time to shine in this. It's long, but worth of it. I'm really excited to see the next chapter. :D Bruno! Talk! Editcount! 02:51, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
Oh gosh, Gideon, it was sensational. I enjoyed every line of it, and I didn't even notice how long it was. It's hard to pick out little bits to talk about because there's so much, but I have to say, the whole thing was spectacular. I was surprised about how racy it was at certain parts ("Duncan's reply to get bent, Cody's thoughts about Katie and Sadie), but I appreciated the realism that those parts gave to the characters. Teenagers can be pretty crude, after all. So, yeah. It was so worth the wait. I'm thrilled to read what happens next. -LalaineeSUBLIMINAL MESSAGE HERE 03:19, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
- The racy bits are part of the reason for the PG-13 rating. That rating gives me a lot of flexibility whilst still keeping it reasonably kid-friendly; and because most of my writing is at a 9th or 10th grade reading level (according to the Flesch-Kincaid scoring) it's a natural fit. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:42, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
... wow. This was amazing. I loved how descriptive it was, even though it did make the chapter so long it almost scared me off. I loved the "get bent" bit and Cody's thoughts of Katie and Sadie, as not only were they humourous but that also added a bit of realisim to it. I laughed a lot throughout the story at the surprisingly high (due to your writing style, I expected this to be more of a serious story) amounts of comedy, and I thrououghly enjoyed the dialouge between contestants. I... I don't think I can wait six weeks for the next chapter, Gideon. Mrdaimion: Like you, only better. 11:29, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Some of the later chapters will have a much more serious tone, but this happened to be one of the lighter chapters, befitting the fact that the campers don't yet know what they're in for. On the whole, I would describe LTDI as a drama with a lot of comic relief and a bittersweet ending.
- As for the dialogue, that was one of the things that originally held me back from trying my hand at a competition story, and one reason why most of my early stories have little dialogue: when I joined this wiki, most of my knowledge of Teenspeak came from TD and 6Teen, so I didn't really feel comfortable writing dialogue for teenaged characters. Now that I've been on the wiki for over a year, I'm more comfortable in my ability to write realistic Teenspeak dialogue. A future chapter will probably have a poll for readers to tell me how well they think I'm doing with it. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 21:25, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
Pretty good first chapter. I love how you gave everyone equal screen-time, and the desripstions were so intresting, I didn't mind how long it was. The only part I didn't like is Noah's "speech" about the gods. That was cringe-inducing. And, I noticed that you called Sadie "fair" when i'm pretty sure she's supossed to be asian. Other than my nitpicking, excellent start!TDWT>TDI-Slicer37 18:28, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Basically, Noah was showing off with his theatrical, over the top flattery. As for Sadie, "fair" in this context simply means "of light color", and only Gwen has a lighter skin tone than Sadie. I've heard that Sadie is supposed to be Chinese, but not from any reputable source. It certainly wasn't mentioned in the episodes, and she has no identifiably Asian features. To believe that Sadie is Asian, you pretty much have to take someone's word for it. In any case, a reimagining isn't bound by any of that, witness the fact that my version of Owen is about a third bigger than the canon version. Likewise, the LTDI Courtney is explicitly tanned, whereas the canon Courtney is allegedly Hispanic. ("Allegedly" because that wasn't established in the episodes, either.) Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 21:51, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
Great chapter, Gid! <3 I loved the intros, especially Gwen, Tyler, and Izzy's. I'm glad that it looks like the ever-popular GwenxTrent ship will be sailing again in this reimagining. I also loved Katie and Sadie, and am interested to see how they get on the same team. Speaking of witch, I'm pretty sure Sadie and Beth switch teams. The reason being one preview, if memory serves, had Duncan and Beth on the same team. Can't wait for more LTDI! Wonder whose gonna get the boot first. --Spotted at the hottest shows, interview on Charlie Rose, they all want a piece of you! 18:36, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Very good, Reddy. I think I know which preview you're alluding to, and the very first preview had Beth teaming up with Izzy for one of the Muskies' talent show acts. It's not giving away anything important to verify that Sadie does indeed switch with Beth, instead of the Katie-Izzy switch in the original. The chapter where this happens will include a trivia note explaining my reasoning. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 22:00, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
Just a quick question; on the poll, it says for 0 "QOS writes better than this". Who is QOS? Sorry if I sound ignorant.TDWT>TDI-Slicer37 00:34, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
- QOS, short for QueenOrangeSoda, was the wiki's most notorious problem user. She was before your time, so I'm not surprised that you're not familiar with her. She doesn't actually write all that poorly, if you can get past her fondness for posting porn, but the "0" option was a joke and I needed a recognizeable, much-maligned name to make the joke work--and (fortunately) this wiki doesn't provide a lot of options. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 00:52, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
Whoa. This was...whoa. I knew this was going to be amazing, but I didn't know it was going to be so long and yet so good you just read on and on. It reminds me of the pilot of TDI--but if it was an hour-long premiere, and about ten times more theatrical and in-depth. I especially love the way you made Chris more of an actual character, with his anger at Sadie, as well as the footnote-type things of what should be edited in post-production. Dark clouds all around, lightning rain is pouring down! 01:18, September 7, 2011 (UTC)
- See the Q&A section above. (It has its own heading in the Table of Contents.) Rhonda asked that question, among others, during the prelaunch period. The short version is that the (italicized) unspoken thoughts were actually voiced in confessional spots. For the most part, LTDI won't have the sort of plainly identified confessional spots that most competition stories do. Instead, those thoughts will be incorporated into the narrative. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:03, September 13, 2011 (UTC)
Gideon, you have truly blown my mind. The amount of detail that you put into this was incredible. I couldn't get over how well described everyone was and how rich you made it. I could honestly see it playing out in front of me. It was that well describle. Also I completely loved the Heather/Duncan scene since I am a huge supporter (or shipper, if you like that one) of them. You're just making the original show that we love and you're making it a million times better. Now I hope that we'll be seeing new drama and new pairings, not just a complete re-telling. But I can say you definitely won me over. GossipQueen 00:43, September 17, 2011 (UTC)
- Worry not, GQ, you'll defintely see new pairings and shippings. (Recall Justin and Lindsay's "love at first sight" moment.) You'll also see a "will they or won't they" pairing that I've been told has never been done before. (Color me skeptical on that, though--I'd have thought that every possible heterosexual pairing would have been done by now.) As for new drama, it's already been noted in these comments that Sadie will switch teams instead of Katie--a minor change with major and far-reaching repercussions. So, no, LTDI isn't just a complete retelling. Besides, I've already done a Gideon-flavored retelling of the canon TDI story arc. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 00:39, September 18, 2011 (UTC)
This is absolutley brilliant! By the way, your sayings for Courtney, "That Napolian was short too.", and "The Diminutive Dynamo," just made my day. I will be sure to use those for my own social gain. The wording is so brilliant in this story, and your developed descriptions of the characters makes it feel like I am watching the series for the first time! Amazing work, and I can't wait to figure out who the narrator is! I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. 01:23, September 18, 2011 (UTC)
- I take it you're short, too? As for the "diminutive dynamo" moniker, I needed something distinctive to call Courtney before she reveals her iconic CIT experience--without which she wouldn't be Courtney--and the alliteration doesn't hurt. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:19, September 19, 2011 (UTC)
- The phrase, "but that is another story for another time" means that it becomes a plot point in a later chapter. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 17:04, October 16, 2011 (UTC)
- I know that. What I meant was there were so many I was wondering what the stories were. Don't hug me I'm scared
- Sorry, Fan, no spoilers. You'll find out in the fullness of time. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 21:57, October 16, 2011 (UTC)
This comment is long overdue, so I’m just going to split it into parts. Hope it doesn’t take up too much space.
Compared to the rest of the story, I think the Prologue reads a bit awkwardly. I’m unsure of how large of a break there was between writing the Prologue and First Night, but the writing style seems a bit different. I know it’s just a prologue and it’s a completely different setting, so maybe the slight change was on purpose. Specifically, I think the beginning of the scene doesn’t quite read correctly, though the abrupt opening may have been used just to keep the scene brief.
I think one of the best things about this story is that it stays true to its name. It’s fitting that The Legend of Total Drama should actually be told like a legend, and I think First Night proves this the most. The tall-tale style introduction of the camp really sets the tone for the entire episode while giving Camp Wawanakwa a believable origin. Using the Camp TV’s fooled fame seekers premise is a great move on your part, and was always the one I wished the actual show had taken (since it really would make sense as to why some of the stranger contestants wanted to be on the show). Another thing I really enjoy about your writing is that you are able to come up with an explanation for anything, whether it’s the goof of some of the contestants not having luggage or explaining Beth’s chunky braces as a result of her poor farming background.
As you’ve mentioned before, a lot of authors skimp on the introductions, ignoring the potential for memorable first impressions. I like that with some contestants you barely added any more dialogue than what the actual show gave them, though the descriptions introduce the contestants so much better than the episode originally did. Beth always had one of my favorite character designs because she just fits her personality so well, so I really like the description you gave her. She is such an awkward character that I think it’s fitting that she gets such a long description for her bizarre appearance rather than dialogue. The description of Heather introduces her role to the story as soon as she had arrived in a way that makes her seem more elegant than the brattier character that the show had made her seem to be in the first episode. The sexual innuendo-laced exchange between Heather and Duncan is actually one of my favorite parts of the introduction, since it shows both of their personalities but sounds like typical teenagers. I think Harold’s reads a bit awkwardly because the description breaks up the action a little too much, though it still was much more interesting than his canon introduction.
Katie and Sadie’s portrayal as more of kids who never grew up rather than the simple idiots that they were portrayed as in the show is refreshing and makes them a lot more likable. Along the same line, Lindsay’s confusion over the phrase “Look, bra” was kind of hilarious. Your original introduction of Eva as more of an Amazon than a rage monster was a great change, as she’s always been a character that I’ve wanted to see people explore. Your more outspoken Noah is definitely a charm to read… though he’s probably the opposite to his other campers. His “Blaxploitation” comment is actually a good question, though I’m assuming LeShawna’s bilingual roots will be mentioned later. Trent’s introduction makes him seem like a sort of (for lack of a better term) “judge’s plant”. He seems overly favored by Chris compared to the others, almost like the host chose him personally to be on the show. I never expected to get that kind of an impression from him, so I’m pleasantly surprised.
Though I personally was a bit annoyed at the several “story for another time” asides, I can see why you put them there as they made me wonder what exactly is going to happen. It also shows just how far ahead you’ve planned the story, as having specific events planned from chapter one takes serious organizational skills. Also, I really don’t remember if they mentioned it in the original show or if was just an assumption that I had made as well, but I liked your explanation of the three-day cycle. Overall, I really enjoyed the introductions and your take on the familiar characters, as they mesh unexpectedly well with your unique writing style. FFL: Until the fall, here we are. 21:50, August 6, 2012 (UTC)
- In order to reserve the title, I posted the prologue a year before the official launch, although a few of the First Night scenes (most notably Gwen's intro) had been written by then. The stylistic difference is indeed mainly due to the difference in setting. The abruptness of the beginning, with no real background info to speak of, helps to keep things vague in order to set up the "who's telling the story" question. As for the rest of the story, it's not so much a case of the style staying true to the title as the style inspiring the title.
- As for my being able to explain "anything", that's something I enjoy doing because I value internal consistency, and it meshes well with my desire to provide a more detailed backstory than is possible when you're confined to 20-minute segments. (When people suggest that LTDI is better than the canon, I'm not too proud to point out that a novel writer has certain advantages over a TV show writer.)
- Trent's intro is actually pretty similar to the canon version; but here Trent does a more skillful job of sucking up, intentionally or otherwise. Eva (as later chapters show) still has a problem temper because she wouldn't be Eva without it, any more than Courtney could still be Courtney without her CIT experience, but in LTDI it isn't the be-all and end-all of her personality. LeShawna, as I mentioned in the Notes, is a francophone because a later chapter has an incident requiring that one of the campers be from Montreal; and while Montreal is pretty much fully bilingual (unlike most of the rest of Quebec, where a large chunk of the population speaks only French) making French her first language adds a bit of color. I gave Harold his "show stopping" intro because I think it fits his self-image and because I'm a fan of the Icelandic sagas, in addition to the reasons I gave in the Notes. Heather's initial image of regal elegance (which you'll see again) is in fact exactly what I was going for, but she reveals her bratty side soon enough.
- As for the "another story for another time" foreshadowing, that is one of several reasons why I really wanted to hold off on actually posting chapters until I had finished writing the story. The phrase appears four times in First Night (and in later chapters as well, albeit much less frequently). In two of those cases, I had not merely planned the incident to which it alludes, but actually had the finished scene in hand. The phrase itself is a narrative flourish, just like the ubiquitous "but nothing would be gained by repeating it here". (The latter flourish phrase comes straight out of The 1,001 Nights, where it appears with great frequency.) I could have varied the wording to make these phrases less repetitive, and probably would have in another story. Here, though, the repetition is a stylistic point. Combined with the frequent use of certain descriptors for the various characters, these never-varying phrases (as if to make the story easier to remember) are intended to give LTDI the feel of something that's been handed down through an oral tradition. It's all part of the "legend" style.
- In the first canon episode, Chris explicitly stated that the challenges would be held every three days. How well subsequent episodes actually kept to that is very much open to debate. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 04:32, August 7, 2012 (UTC)
Second Night Discussion & Polls
Second Night Polls
Second Night Discussion
This chapter turned out to be significantly longer than I was expecting. I thought it would be around 7500-8000 words, but it turned out to be almost 11,000—almost as long as the First Night. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 00:08, October 30, 2011 (UTC)
I'm so glad this is up. (Yes, I've been told I am an extremely fast reader) The alliter-off is pretty epic. I'm still intrigued as to Brett's mother's identity. I hope it's not the end of Harold. Oh, and I also loved the lamprey picture you put in there, those things freak me out. XD Noah and Izzy were my favorites this episode. Can't wait for more! Toadgamer80The jester of Tortuga. 00:11, October 30, 2011 (UTC)
- Wow, Toad, you didn't even give me a chance to put up the trivia. Anyway, glad you liked it. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 00:25, October 30, 2011 (UTC)
I was so excited to see you put up a new chapter! I really liked it. I'm not sure what I liked best though. It was just that good! I do like that you included the music and I really enjoyed the pieces. I have to say Harold taking out the stag was unexpected but good development. I also liked how Eva got a far amount of attention which is more than the show can ever say. I really liked how you got a lot of the teen speech down (I think Geoff was one person I remember sounding like a modern teen). I also really liked Lindsay and all of her dumb moments. It was exactly as I expected Lindsay to be. I honestly didn't realize that Izzy and Noah's fight was an alliter-off until I came to the talk page even after reading the trivia. It wasn't that it wasn't clear in the story, I just couldn't pick up on it. I really found Noah funny and I loved Izzy's crazy moments especially when she was wrestling the shark. I'm really excited for the next part and I can't wait to find out what happened to Harold. I'm pretty sure he survived but I know something more will happen. I have no clue who the mother and I can't wait to find out who she is! Your heart, your heart abandoned. Your wrong now bear the shame. Like dead trees in cold December nothing but ashes remain. Oh Ember, so warm and tender, you will remember my name! 03:16, October 30, 2011 (UTC)
- Izzy was actually riding the shark like a rodeo bull, this particular shark being large enough that a wrestling match would have gone badly for our favorite psycho hosebeast (well, maybe second-favorite after Julie). Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:37, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
I was expecting the first elimination but nevertheless, without the elimination, it still made a great chapter. I'm really excited to see who goes first because I think everybody is DYING to know who's the storyteller. --If your undies are tight, it's uncomfortable. If you're a boy and your bra is tight, I'm uncomfortable 03:38, October 30, 2011 (UTC)
- Just imagine how long the chapter would have been if it had covered the entire challenge plus the elimination. The Third Night will include the first elimination ceremony. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:27, November 2, 2011 (UTC)
I loved the Second Night chapter. So, I like that Eva gets more attention, as she didn't had in the Canon series. My favorites in this chapter were Izzy, Noah and Lindsay.Well, I don't have a clue about who is storyteller. I think it's someone who did something very very bad. So, I still believe Harold will not die, but I'm feeling that something bad will happen with him. Well, I can't wait to see who will be the first eliminated. My name is Bruno! 05:25, October 30, 2011 (UTC)
Izzy is my favorite. With the nights does it mean the challenge days or the nights Brents mom is telling the story. For some reason I have a feeling that the mother is an intern or something. Fan has figured out me the sig date and time thing! 12:33, October 30, 2011 (UTC)
- The "Night" headings ("First Night", "Second Night", etc.) are the nights that Brett's mom is telling the story. The episodes have their own headings, in the form "The Tale of X", e.g. "The Tale of the Gathering" (episode 1) and "The Tale of the First Challenge" (episode 2). The Prologue revealed that the mother was a contestant when she said, "I did pretty well, but I didn't win." Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 00:46, October 31, 2011 (UTC)
No, Brett's mom is one of the female contestants that goes far (I guess Final 10) but doesn't win. --12:39, October 30, 2011 (UTC) (Reddy)
This was a really great chapter, Gid! I actually read it last night, but it was late and I was a little too tired to comment. I loved the alliter-off. It was very Dr. Seuss-like. I enjoyed Eva in general this chapter, especially her whole interaction with Leshawna. What I liked about that scene was that it was almost like a director's cut of the original scene or a deleted scene. It was pretty cool. Lindsay is delightfully dimwitted, as usual, and I liked Geoff a lot too. The part where he talked about all the female members of his team was funny to me because it seemed like such typical teenage guy dialogue. That's about all I've got, for now. I can't wait to read the next chapter, to see who wins the challenge and who gets eliminated. -LalaineeSignatures are so mainstream. 21:21, October 30, 2011 (UTC)
- "Boys being boys" was exactly what I was going for in the Geoff/Harold "sizing up the chicks" scene, so it's good to hear that I pulled it off. This scene was part of how the Storyteller's insider perspective reveals the campers behaving more like normal people than the finished episodes suggested. (For the record, the finished episodes mentioned in this reimagining don't show the campers behaving any more multidimensionally than the canon episodes did.) As for Eva/LeShawna, "deleted scene" is probably the more apt description, as the implication was that Eva is (at least to a degree) a victim of manipulative editing. Both scenes also serve the purpose of laying the groundwork for possible friendships down the road. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:37, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
This chapter made me start forming some more significant opinions about some of the characters. Though there are a few that I'll admit I'm not fond of (yet), I'm going to save any comments on them for later. It's only the second night, after all. So, here's some of my positive reactions...
I really like Harold, so I’m glad he has a greater part in this episode (even though I’m aware of his eventual fate). He’s always been an interesting character that I feel Total Drama ended up taking in the wrong direction, so I really like your portrayal of him a walking encyclopedia as it highlights one of the best parts of his character. I also actually really like the way you write Geoff. Though his conversation with Harold about the girls might seem a bit rude, his character has always been a bit shallow so I think it works for him. The fact that he has already summed up all of this about each of the girls fits his social personality, as I’m sure he’s interacted with people similar so he finds it easy to judge them. Geoff also had displayed a few times in TDI that he actually was capable of taking a leader’s role, so I’m glad that you seem to have kept that trait (at least that’s what I got from his reaction to his team reprimanding Tyler). I also really enjoy his “urban cowboy” title.
I unexpectedly love your Courtney. She’s a character that I think a lot of people write wrong, so no matter how great the story I always go into it expecting the worst for her (fun fact, for a while Courtney was my least favorite character, mostly because of a combination of TDA and fanfiction.net). As seen with the way she handles Izzy and Sunshine’s bunk and Lindsay not understanding a rhetorical question, your Courtney actually has a caring side that I think the canon character lost as the series went on. I’ve personally always thought she probably was a CIT because (other than wanting the authority that being a counselor would give her over others) she was good at dealing with children, so this behavior really fits my head canon for her.
Ezekiel being religious also fits my personal idea of him. He’s a character who I usually skim over in stories due to the fact that, to be honest, I like him as a very minor character and prefer him to stay that way, although I did pick this tidbit of his personality out as interesting.
One negative I noticed is that your Chris seems to have had most of the “surfer dude” taken out of him. Though he still seems to have the same drama-hungry personality, a lot of his lines seem to be a bit too technical compared to others. This could be explained as him reading from a pre-written script as a lot of his lines are explanations of camp and show policies, though they contrast with some of the lines that you kept from the show (like his “man” exchange with Geoff back in First Night) so it seems a bit inconsistent. (The inconsistency is the only reason why I'd consider the change a negative.) Speaking of Chris, though a lot of his items in his list of infirmary duties are from the canon Total Drama, I’m predicting that plenty of them foreshadow upcoming events in the story.
You make plenty of references to various things, but one of my favorites was the Hades and Persephone comment that Noah makes about Lindsay’s pomegranate. It’s my favorite Greek myth, so I always get a kick out of seeing it show up in places. I also like the brief Star Wars mention as Izzy marched back to her table (as I do prefer that series over Star Trek any day, though I probably shouldn’t have said that, haha). This comment was a lot longer and lot more character focused than I'd expected, but overall I really liked the chapter. This TDI episode was rather dull compared to the later ones, but you brought a lot more life into it for LTDI. FFL: Until the fall, here we are. 06:55, August 8, 2012 (UTC)
- There's nothing wrong with a character-focused review, especially early in the story, since character interpretation is possibly the biggest thing that will make or break a reimagining story. As for your not being fond of certain characters now, maybe that will change; and if not, the fact that you don't like them is less important than the reasons why you don't like them. Everyone can't be likeable if I'm to make this at all realistic; so as long as you as a reader care what happens to them and don't think I'm writing poorly for them, I think we'll be all right.
- I'm glad to hear that you like my rendition of Courtney, because I also think she was ill used in the canon. I've mentioned elsewhere that I regard the TDA Courtney as an impostor.
- Regarding Chris' dialogue, he wasn't actually reading from a script, but I figured that he might be more businesslike during the orientation than at some other times. I hadn't really thought about it at the time, but on rereading some of those passages, I think I can see why you thought some of his lines were more "technical" than they should be. Perhaps I'll try to reword some of them a bit. In any case, I wasn't really trying to change his personality, so give him a few more chapters. If his dialogue still sounds inconsistent after that time, then you could chalk it up to my not having a good ear for the "skater dude" idiom.
- Glad I could be of service with the Hades/Persephone reference. I also have an interest in mythology and the related genres, epic poetry and Norse/Icelandic sagas. A couple of the later challenges borrow heavily from elements of classical mythology. As for your liking Star Wars better than Star Trek, I don't subscribe to the "this town ain't big enough for both of us" mentality so common in those fandoms, so I won't hold your preference against you. (Much.) Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 04:53, August 9, 2012 (UTC)
Third Night Discussion & Polls
Third Night Polls
Third Night Discussion
Wow... This remaining certainly wasn't kind to Harold, now was it? O_O I loved the chapter, nonetheless! :D Heather is my gave, and I'm sure Beth is the mother-- She'd be the only one to know about her conversation with Alejandro. Based on that and previews, I've come to the conclusion that Tyler is going home.
- I might ask your help on that, Reddy, although I'll probably study the source code of other tables and try my own hand at it first. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:30, January 1, 2012 (UTC)
I must say, these chapters are definitely worth the wait in between them. While I am not a Harold fan by any stretch of the imagination, his fate at the sharks' figurative "hands" was a certain shock. To be honest, I am surprised that they even had an elimination in this chapter, seeing as Harold already "left" the competition by other means. Also, I did NOT expect Katie and Sadie to be as forceful as they were in this chapter, what with their extreme tickle torture and all. I may have some respect for those two hive-minded balls of saccharine irritation after all.
As far as the Beth and Alejandro thing, while it does lend itself as a hint to the narrator's identity, I still am not sold that she is Beth, as the scene may just be a "red herring", and the true narrator found out through other means. After all, there is not one omnipresent character in the story, as Beth was not present for many of the other dialogues that have happened in the story. My money is still on LeShawna as the narrator, but I can't remember why I thought that for the life of me. I would have to re-read the First Night to figure it out, I suppose.- The Anonymous User 06:57, December 31, 2011 (UTC)
- The Beth/Alejandro scene could be a clue to the Storyteller's identity (i.e. hinting at the possibility of a forbidden love down the road), or it could be a red herring as you and Lal suggested, or it could simply be a character development scene, with Al in the role of Mr. Exposition. As for your belief that LeShawna is the Storyteller, but not remembering why you think that, I can think of a couple of things that might have led you to that conclusion: When she arrived, it was noted and shown that LeShawna has an eye for the boys (this was also referenced in her clifftop quarrel with Heather); and in her scene with Eva after the first meal, there was a line suggesting that LeShawna might be sexually active (the logical alternative being that she just talks a good game), and I don't think it's revealing too much to say that Brett didn't come from an immaculate conception. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:30, January 1, 2012 (UTC)
I just wanna know who goes!! Beth seems like she could be a potential breakout character so I hope she stays. I loved the chapter though. I could actually see Sadie and Katie beating Chris up. XD --If your undies are tight, it's uncomfortable. If you're a boy and your bra is tight, I'm uncomfortable 17:29, December 31, 2011 (UTC)
GIDEON! I COULD KILL YOU! XD I know every chapter is supposed to end with a cliffhanger, but... ARGH! If I was Brett, I'd be furious at my mom for ending the story like that. Other than that, I loved this chapter! Katie and Sadie's epic assault on Chris was awesome and unexpected. I loved that they were unwilling to budge even after Chris threatened to have them kicked off the show. I love the two of them even more now. I also thought the whole situation with Katie and Sadie being on their periods was both really funny and really gross. XD I appreciated it, though, because that's another thing that doesn't usually get brought up in a lot of these fanfics even though it's obviously an issue that teenagers talk about. I guess no one wants to go there? That's what I love about this story, Gid. You go there. Not everyone is good at writing 'ghetto' dialogue or slang, but I think you're doing an awesome job with Leshawna! I especially liked her use of the word frontin', which I personally love to use at times.
I'm with my bud TAU on the whole 'red herring' Beth-Alejandro scene. She could have easily told someone else about what happened, so I'm not going to jump to any conclusions about who the storyteller is. That's not that important to me right now, though.
Eva was great in this chapter. I loved her trilobite line, and her conflicts with Duncan and Ezekiel. She's becoming one of my favorites already. I also loved that you sampled The Female of the Species when she was choking Ezekiel (I think that's when it popped up), as that's actually one of my favorite poems. I chose to read it for a competition in one of my English classes last year where whoever read their poem most dramatically or effectively would win extra credit, and I won. The girls in my class liked it a lot, as you might imagine.
Harold's fate was pretty unfortunate, to say the least. I didn't think he'd actually end up dead. They really shouldn't have to vote someone off, but that's Chris for you. Lindsay had a few good moments this chapter. I loved that she agreed with Heather's sentiment that ugly clothes and ugly hair make for an ugly inside. It reminded me of the TV show Daria, a little. Duncan was particularly heinous this time around. I was hoping he'd go home, but I knew he wouldn't be based on previews. His comment to Eva was the clincher for me, but I guess that's because I really like Eva right now. The last thing I want to comment on is that I loved Noah's twist to the "Hell hath no fury" line, as well as basically everything else Noah has said. I'm really enjoying his wit and the conflict between him and Chris. I can't recall a time where I've written a comment this long on anything, so I guess you should feel special. Oh, and I read the trivia. I can imagine that Lil is skilled at tickle torture. That seems like something she'd be good at. XD Excellent job on Third Night, and I look forward to what's to come! -LalaineeMirror in the sky, what is love? 18:04, December 31, 2011 (UTC)
- I can assure you that there won't be another "final marshmallow" cliffhanger, because that's a surprise that only works once. Another thing I won't normally do is put in a large number of blank lines to indicate the dramatic pause. Indeed, the only reason I did it this time is to set up the cliffhanger. The reason I put the cliffhanger where I did is because, in the original episode, Chris took a full 40 seconds to award the final marshmallow in the first ceremony. My version is similar, so Chris still has some camera mugging to do.
- There will probably be at least one other cliffhanger in the middle of a ceremony, but not at the last marshmallow, and there will be unusual circumstances involved. Most elimination ceremonies will be somewhere in the middle of the chapters that have them. Actually, you should be thankful that I got as far as the elimination ceremony. This chapter turned out to be so long--over 12,000 words--that I considered splitting it. The main reason I didn't was because the subheadings break up the chapter well enough, and I figured my readers had been waiting long enough for the first ceremony. (If I was posting biweekly instead of bimonthly, I would almost certainly have split the chapter, perhaps in the "Zeke puts his foot in it" scene.)
- Considering how my prelaunch blog unaccountably brought the Sadie fans out of the woodwork, I suspected people would like my take on how she and Katie came to be on the same team. As for LeShawna's dialogue, I'm glad to hear that you think I'm doing a good job, but you give me too much credit. My knowledge of ghetto slang comes mainly from LeShawna's canon counterpart, so I've been trying to follow that model.
- I'm sure you noticed that Lindsay didn't do much in this chapter, nor did Izzy. This was partly to give some others a chance to shine (Beth getting her first big scene, for example), but also because Lindsay and Izzy are essentially comic characters, and Third Night is one of the story's darkest chapters. As for Duncan, some people have remarked on the unfairness of Zeke getting kicked off first in TDI when Duncan was pretty sexist in his own right. I've made Duncan's sexism more explicit, and I think his conflict with Eva and his emerging friendship with Zeke are natural consequences of this, among other factors. In any case, Duncan is an excellent example of something I've said before, i.e. that how well I like a character's canon version--I despise the canon Duncan--has little bearing on how prominent the LTDI version will be.
- Finally, I'm flattered to get your longest comment to date, so naturally I've given you a long response. Feedback is good, but detailed feedback is better. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 06:25, January 3, 2012 (UTC)
You should cross out Harold from the Winners Guessing Contest and Paternity since he's kind of dead. --If your undies are tight, it's uncomfortable. If you're a boy and your bra is tight, I'm uncomfortable 18:23, December 31, 2011 (UTC)
- I wasn't planning to strike out incorrect guesses, because that could spoil for late arrivals. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 06:25, January 3, 2012 (UTC)
I've been reading these but not commenting, because I can just tell you. However, this time I'll comment here to say that your writing is incredible! Not only do I feel like I'm one of the camerapeople, but I feel as though I'm actually watching it happen. I love the bantering and the reasoning behind some of their actions. Sadie and Katie's tickle torture was phenomenal, and I'm also really glad that Eva and Ezekiel are getting more coverage than in the original, along with Katie and Sadie.
Duncan was actually nice to Zeke! Sort of. Courtney and the sharks, the "twins" having their period, Harold and the sharks, Beth and Alejandro, DJ explaining his fears--this is such a good read, I almost wish we could have read it right after the show was on, as sort of a "behind the scenes look" at the series! Again, awesome job writing this, and I can hardly wait for the next installment. --Wifey :) JustLittleOlMe Lil Jay JLOM Mrs. Gideon 02:41, January 1, 2012 (UTC)
Harold isn't dead. My mind was in a haze through the chapter, as all I could think of was that Harold isn't dead and that everyone else in this story is a jackass. Dark clouds all around, lightning rain is pouring down! 05:35, January 1, 2012 (UTC)
- I'm afraid I don't really understand this comment. Why were you thinking that everyone is a jackass? Even if you were being facetious (which seems to me a distinct possibility) I still don't get it. As for Harold's status, do you have specific reasons (e.g. no blood/body, as Rhonda noted) for believing he's not dead, or do you just believe on general principles that I wouldn't do it?
- It's more denial, really. I wasn't expecting it at all, and Harold's one of my favorite characters. On the jackasses note, everyone just seemed incredibly selfish during parts of the chapter (manipulating Beth). 22.214.171.124 02:32, January 5, 2012 (UTC)
- You weren't the only one in denial. As the Storyteller noted, that's part of the reason, and perhaps the biggest part, why the Eagles were being so callous in manipulating Beth. It wasn't really until Beth defused an imminent beatdown with her armor-piercing question that the campers truly started to accept what had happened. As for not believing that Harold is really dead, I'll admit that I left a lot of room for skepticism on that point. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:37, January 8, 2012 (UTC)
Oh, My, Gideon, the new chapter made me love LTDI even more! It was just so fantastic! It was amazing. I love how you narrate the story, it's so powerful and charming. You could narrate a story about eating a sandwich and it would be awesome! I like how your narrative is strong and very intelligent and sophisticated but when the contestants talk like you would think they would sound. It makes such a great read. And I love how everyone has a nickname, makes it much less repetitive.
Is Harold really dead? It seems too shocking to believe, and with no blood or body it seems to hard to believe. It seems like a real trick. But if Harold is dead, it was definitely shocking. You said you wish you could nominate the first elimination of LTDI for most shocking elimination. Is this the one you meant, because I would vote for it.
Katie and Sadie's scene was purely awesome. You've given those two more character development and screen time then the actual show. Katie and Sadie are always counted out early in fanfictions and are really just fillers. The way their portrayed is great! I think Chris said it best, "all the early-out cannon fodder is turning out way different from what I expected." Eva was written really well too and I loved how major you've made her. Again, you've given Eva more character development and screen time then the actual show.
I feel bad for poor Beth. Being switched teams and picked on. I liked her discussion with Alejandro. I loved the Camp TV allusion and how Alejandro was talking about him being a Gary Stu. XD! I think the Alejandro and Beth was a red herring for the real mom. You said they heard all the stories from interviews so I suspect Alejandro was also interviewed.
LeShawna and Heather's duel was as, if not more, awesome than on the shows. LeShawna and Heather sound really believable. Katie and Sadie's period mishap was funny. I remember you mentioning LTDI had made mention to periods.
Zeke's sexism is going to be really interesting in the future, based on the previews. I really liked the poem about how the female is deadlier than the male. I really love all the allusions in the story, they're so clever. I liked the plans to open the crates and I liked how Heather used Gwen's mattress, can't wait to see what happens >:D.
I felt bad that the Muskies lost, but I'm glad they didn't steal the part. If the Muskies found a way to make the water hot, (like boiling it) who would have won? I found it humorous Eva got the first marshmallow because she wasn't at the first ceremony. I don't know if that was planned but I still like it. I'm pretty sure I know who is staying based on previews but I'm still nervous to see who goes. I prefer Beth staying since I think she has more reason.
I can't wait for more! When's the next chapter going to be? Now you’ve got one hand. Look around, floating town. Tell a baby to talk to the hand! 06:19, January 1, 2012 (UTC)
- When the story gets to the "Brunch of Disgustingness" chapters (or, as I'm calling it, "The Tale of Disordered Eating") you'll get to see how I narrate the eating of a sandwich. As for the contrast between narrative style and dialogue style, you're not the first to comment on that, and I'm glad you like it. The narrative includes some flourishes of the sort that appear in The 1,001 Nights in addition to my distinctive style, but I thought it important for the sake of believability that the characters speak more or less like they did in the original.
- I'm glad you liked the Katie/Sadie persuasion scene. I'm rather proud of it. As for Eva, I'm trying to make her a little more vulnerable than in the original, albeit still tough as nails and still with a hair-trigger temper. (I think it's more realistic this way, which is in keeping with the Storyteller's insider perspective.) And yes, Harold's "elimination" is what I was referring to when I said on that blog that LTDI's first elimination would have been a strong candidate for "most shocking elimination" if it were eligible. It was intended to shock the reader, and it apparently succeeded. That said, it's not in the story merely for shock value--it's important to certain storylines.
- If the Muskies had found another way to heat the water, it wouldn't have helped them, because hot tubs are expected to be able to heat water without external assistance, and it's doubtful that the Muskies could have brought in externally heated water without Chris noticing. Now that you mention it, though, it might have made for a good bit of comic relief if they'd heated the water too much and Chris had gotten scalded testing it. As for Eva getting the first marshmallow when the actual episode skipped over her, you give me too much credit. It's a nice coincidence, but the real reason Eva got the first was because I like her and I was disappointed when she became such a minor character in the original. In fact, if the campers were real and I was one of them, Eva is probably the girl I would have developed a crush on (although I would probably have ended up with Beth, if anyone.) In any case, Eva was at the ceremony in the original, they just skipped over the bit where she got her marshmallow (just like with Noah's dive). Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:36, January 5, 2012 (UTC)
To much suspense Gideon. TO MUCH SUSPENSE!!!!!!!!!! Other than that I enjoyed the chapter, Lindsay, Katie, and Sadie are funny. And the characters I enjoy are Leshawna, Courtney, Ezekial, and Beth. And Alejandro. I'm a banana! 21:27, January 1, 2012 (UTC)
This story basically just pulled me into reading everything! I absolutely love this story! I love it because of the suspense, the humor, the friendships and the shocking facts about the contestants. I really love this story. :) ★The star is the guide★ 03:31, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
The story is getting better and better. First, I'm shocked with Harold's "death". I still thinking about so much possibilities about it. He may is really dead; he returning at the middle of the competition; or become a zombie á la TDWT's Ezekiel. xD I'm loving Katie & Sadie. They are way more developed than they were at the canon series. The "Katie and Sadie at period" part was hilarious. And I never thought they could be so mean. Tickling torture is the worst thing ever. I'm having another perspective of Ezekiel this time. I can stand him tis time, while I hatedI'm really liking Eva also, as we are seeing him more of her. The early, undeveloped character are getting more tridimensional personalities this story. Heather and Leshawna's fight was way better than the canon one. Can't wait to see what's Heather in planning. Noah is awesome. 'Nuff said I wanted to see the elimination. You are evil. >:D Jk So, I know who will probably go home, based on previews, but you may were lying in the previes for beign sneaky. My name is Bruno! 21:48, January 3, 2012 (UTC)
- No, I defintely wasn't lying in any of the previews, but I did say that their details were subject to change. This could happen if, for example, a storyline changes as I'm fleshing it out. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:28, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
Fourth Night Discussion & Polls
Fourth Night Polls
Fourth Night Discussion
I just finished reading and wanted to be the first to comment! It's about midnight where I am so I'm kinda tired and am going to give a more in depth comment when I'm more awake. I did just wanna go ahead say that I loved the fourth night! I felt a little silly to be duped by Beth's elimination, since I knew from a preview Beth was going to make it farther. But I still fell for her elimination. And I believed Bridgette's dream and had to reread it again just to check myself. I also love the tidbits from literature you add in as well. Sorry for the short comment but when I'm more rested I promise to give a more in depth comment. But I did LOVE the fourth night! Rhonda is the meanest, vilest, ugliest, stankiest, crankiest, won’t even say high to your momma, cheapest, creepiest, arrogant sea witch in all the seas! And I’m not very fond of her either. 05:00, February 27, 2012 (UTC)
- If Harold had met with his accident later in the game, Chris might well have cancelled the ceremony, as several Third Night commenters suggested he should have; but because this was the very first elimination ceremony, Chris thought it necessary to go through with a sham ceremony to show the campers (and more to the point, the viewing audience) how the eliminations were going to work. The chance to put one over on the Muskies was a bonus, as far as Chris was concerned. Being basically lazy, Chris is likely to cancel the ceremony if anyone else happens to meet with an accident during a challenge, but you can never be certain of anything where Chris is concerned. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:27, March 1, 2012 (UTC)
Wow. This is a good chapter--The Big Sleep has always been one of the challenges that fascinated me the most, and you described it greatly. I liked Courtney and Ezekiel's talk, for some reason. I feel like Brett's mom is exaggerating a bit with the account's dramatic dialogue and theatricality, as I have a feeling nobody except Ezekiel would really be willing to say God in any way other than clear profanity or habit ("Thank God," "Oh my God,", etc.), let alone be allowed to say it by the network, Chris especially. In addition, nice tease with Harold not living. I think I might be able to not deny his death now. Dark clouds all around, lightning rain is pouring down! 05:31, February 27, 2012 (UTC)
- I don't know what the broadcast standards are in Canada, but I suspect that not all networks are as anal as CN. Whatever network airs the show in this reimagining probably doesn't object to Chris' use of religious terminology because he's clearly not preaching; and even if the network did object, the Storyteller's insider perspective reveals a lot of stuff that didn't make it into the finished episodes. (One such "deleted scene" will appear several times in coming chapters.) As for the religious reference in the inscription that Noah suggested for Harold's marker, Noah was showing off his literary knowledge rather than his religious beliefs (if any). Oh, and I can assure you that Brett's mother was not exaggerating the theatricality of the elimination ceremony. Chris is a professional actor, as per canon, and this isn't the only time I depict him as a Shatner/Blessed-scale ham.
- That said, Brett's mother is unquestionably embellishing certain details. (It's called a "legend" for a reason.) She does this for various reasons, not least of which is to fill in gaps in her memory/knowledge, because nobody could realistically remember so much so accurately after so long, but that's dramatic license for you. Bridgette's dream is a good example. If anyone other than Bridgette is telling the story, then she'd be heavily embellishing the dream sequence because it includes certain details (the conversation with Lindsay, seeing the lynx) that Bridgette would probably not have seen fit to mention when describing her dream to her fellow campers or in the confessional. Even if Bridgette is the Storyteller, it's not in the nature of dreams to be remembered with that kind of clarity. In either case, describing the dream sequence so vividly serves to (a) illustrate why Bridgette felt that something paranormal might be at work when she found herself largely living her dream's events; (b) set up Brett (and, by extension, the reader) for the "it was all a dream" twist; and (c) provide character development for the "real" events.
- It's funny that you should mention the phrase, "Oh my God" as an habitual exclamation. The campers will sometimes say things like "Oh my gosh" (or "Oh, gods" in Bridgette's case), with the stronger "Oh my God" reserved for cases that appear to have a real danger of imminent death. You will see this. More than once. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:42, March 3, 2012 (UTC)
Ok, now time for a long comment! I was really glad Beth stayed! I really like Beth, especially here so I was extremely glad she stayed. I didn't really think Tyler had a reason, story-wise, to stay but if he does I'm interested in seeing what it is. Brett asked a pretty good question and the mom gave a pretty good answer. I agree Beth was the most fame hungry of all twenty two contestants. I wonder if Brett is having second thoughts on joining, though I'm sure things have changed.
I like that they made a cross for Harold, it was very sweet. And I love how Izzy burnt in an inscription using a magnifying glass. I also like how you explained the mourning as, "...the campers were mourning Harold not so much because he had been Harold as because he had been one of their own." I don't why, but it really stuck out to me. I also liked how Lindsay still can't remember his name. It shouldn't be funny since this is Harold's (supposed) death but you know Lindsay would.
Bridgette's dream was really convincing. The most believable thing is that everyone in the dream is very accurately portrayed, which I find weird since Bridgette shouldn't know them that well. But I don't how well Bridgette knows everyone and the characters are based on stereotypes so she could have stereotyped them in her dream. In any case, I didn't question that while reading the story. Ezekiel following Bridgette is very believable since Ezekiel does have a crush on Bridgette in the canon.
I love all the romance going on! Lindsay and Justin are really cute though I'm pretty positive Heather will screw it up. I also like Trent and Gwen's romance. I'm hoping it won't end like it did in the canon. I'm glad they got rid of Cody during the run (no offense to Cody). I feel bad that Cody had to walk alone, but I can believe Courtney pushed her self that hard.
I will say that I didn't fall for the Deja Vu scene of Bridgette's dream. I really liked all the little paragraphs explaining what those that had finished had done. XD I have to say I love Izzy. Every line she is in just cracks a smile on my face. I also liked Duncan, DJ and Ezekiel playing five-finger fillet.
I love Eva and LeShawna's friendship and hope at the end of the story they might actually get to harm Chris. I also love Gwen's response to Heather (gosh, their is so much to compliment). I think lacing it with a mild sedative was a smart idea and makes a lot more sense. XD Again I love Izzy! I feel so bad she threw up.
Justin and Katie's scene was pretty steamy, though I like Lindsay and Justin better and I like that he only dates one girl at a time. Your portrayal of Justin might be my favorite. I also liked Ezekiel and Courtney's discussion. It did bring up a lot of good points, though I was rooting for Courtney of course. I love all the poetry you incorporate and think you should keep doing it.
I'm glad Heather decided to have Katie and Sadie join an alliance. I love these two, though I'm pretty sure Heather will discard them rather quickly, or before the merge, or at least one of them. I also can't wait to find out who Noah is crushing on. And Heather having to compete alone...way to leave on a cliffhanger!!!
I can't wait for more! I'm really loving it Gideon and I hate I have to wait till April but it will be worth the wait! Rhonda is the meanest, vilest, ugliest, stankiest, crankiest, won’t even say high to your momma, cheapest, creepiest, arrogant sea witch in all the seas! And I’m not very fond of her either. 03:43, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
- Bridgette had been in camp four days at the time of her dream, so she would have had time to get to know some people's major mannerisms reasonably well. If the feedback I've gotten is any indication, Bridgette's dream fooled a lot of people, which of course was the intent, although it was also a good opportunity to develop Bridgette's and Geoff's characters. The only real clue that something was amiss was Ezekiel's "ain't got nothin'" line, which isn't really consistent with how he speaks either in this story or in the canon (insofar as he speaks at all in the canon). Conversely, the deja vu scene wasn't really intended to fool readers so much as to make them wonder, as well as to further develop Geoff and Bridgette. Indeed, this episode is all about character development, just like its canon counterpart.
- Eva and LeShawna aren't really friends at this point, although their relations are certainly cordial. They are, however, counterparts, with each being the physically strongest girl on her team. In this case, the reason Eva suggested teaming up with LeShawna was because she was angry and wanted to teach Chris a lesson, and had seen signs that LeShawna was having similar thoughts.
- As for Lindsay misremembering Harold's name, just because it was a solemn and dignified occasion didn't mean that Lindsay was able to stop being Lindsay. Speaking of name butchery, did you notice that she got Justin's name right?
- I previewed the Courtney/Ezekiel scene last year, and it remained pretty much the same. I did add a reference to the sedative that Chris put in the food to speed the challenge along, as that was an 11th-hour idea. As for the elimination twist, you're not the only one who's glad Beth got to stay. Somebody, I don't recall who, remarked earlier that she has the makings of a breakout character. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:05, March 5, 2012 (UTC)
Like Rhonda, I thought Harold had been found alive. :o I got confused when the campers woke up and started that day all over again. xD And I also fell for Beth's elimination. I'm glad she gets to stick around longer. :) The poetry adds to the scenes, and makes for nice little breaks from the actual story. Definitely keep them in. And I really liked your ending to this night's story. X) Also, very nicely written Bean Byproduct scene. We both got tired of all the fart jokes in TDI, but this writing of it makes it likeable and funny. I liked your depiction of Harold in this episode, and now I miss him. ;( Also, your memorial of Harold was inspired! And I really liked that you let Eva place Harold's marker. That was beautiful and very team-building. And Chef's conversation with Chris about the memorial was perfect! :D Your characterizations are wonderful, and I'm ready for your next Night already!! :) JustLittleOlMe Lil Jay JLOM Lady Gideon 04:03, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
I honestly thought Harold was alive :o I'm glad no one got eliminated (well, other than Harold......) It's kinda sad :( Love the chapter! Bridgette's dream, then her de ja vu, Heather's alliance, Noah's secret crush, and most of all, the development you gave Ezekiel and a little of Courtney. Tdi NYAN CAT FTW Fan o Gaga 05:11, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
- If I had split the chapter like I considered doing, then the shortened Fourth Night would have been pretty much Bridgette's chapter. Although she did have some good bits, she really didn't do all that much in the first three chapters, so it was nice to give her a big scene. I'm glad that I could likewise give Geoff and Justin (also backgrounders in chapters 1-3, albeit Justin more than Geoff) plenty of screentime, because I want to make LTDI more of an ensemble story than the original was. I have plans for Ezekiel as well, since he got so little character development in the canon that fanfic writers have a lot of room to run with him. (Of course, that doesn't stop some writers from eliminating him early just to be rid of him.) I don't think it's giving away too much to say that you'll see more of the budding city mouse/country mouse friendship between Ezekiel and Duncan. And yes, I realize that I was kind of hard on poor Harold, but such are the demands of drama. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:37, March 7, 2012 (UTC)
I finished reading this a few days ago but I have to say I really liked it. I enjoyed the major plot development with Bridgette. I just really like where it's going. I was sad though when it ended because I wanted to see who would win. Is it wrong that I like the idea of Ezekiel X Courtney? XD --If your undies are tight, it's uncomfortable. If you're a boy and your bra is tight, I'm uncomfortable 03:08, March 5, 2012 (UTC)
- Well, you know how it is--I have to put a cliffhanger somewhere. If I'd shown you who won, you'd have been sad because I didn't show you who got eliminated. In any case, the whole point of a cliffhanger is to leave the audience wanting more. As for Zeke X Courtney, people have done stranger things than that in the TD fandom. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:13, March 19, 2012 (UTC)
(Note: the following comment originally appeared on my talk page. I'm responding here because it raises some points of general interest. --Gideon)
Sorry I never commented on Fourth Night! I loved it, but I didn't comment right after reading it and then ended up not commenting at all. I thought Duncan teaching them how to play five-finger fillet was really in-character for him and definitely not a great idea. That's definitely a camp game, though. I played that game a couple times when I used to go to camp, except we called it nerve instead. The Justin/Katie scene was kind of raunchy, wasn't it? XD Nothing blatantly sexual happened, but the scene was really sexually charged. I thought it was a really interesting and convincing portrayal of why Justin appeals to the female masses. I think it's sweet that Justin seems so genuinely committed to Lindsay, though. That relationship would certainly set up a logical reasoning as to why Heather randomly chose to eliminate Justin fourth in the canon TDI. I know you said the elimination order could be different than the canon, I don't think that necessarily means that there won't be any similarities. Laylaamong other nicknames 02:54, March 31, 2012 (UTC)
- I prefer to call it "racy" myself, since it sounds a little classier, but whatever. I've noted with interest the wide range of responses in the poll for rating the hotness of the Justin/Katie scene. I suspect that the girls (the older girls, anyway) generally find the scene hotter than the boys do, because its eroticism is definitely geared to female sensibilities. Essentially, it's a romance novel scene in an unromantic situation, although I'm guessing that the pregnancy imagery at the end (what, you didn't actually think the "distended belly" mention was random, did you?) probably isn't a romance novel standard. That's as may be, it was mainly a character development scene for Justin, and I thought it worked pretty well considering that it was a last-minute addition. In addition to showing that Justin's power over girls extends beyond his looks, his scene with Katie shows him to be rather more principled than his canon counterpart. Whereas the canon Justin isn't above using his looks to manipulate people, the LTDI Justin has more of an "I must use my powers only for good" mindset. And I don't think it's giving away too much to say that Justin is, indeed, genuinely committed to Lindsay at this point, however shallow his reasons. (You may recall his First Night intro, where he thought that Lindsay might be "The One" because she was the first girl he'd ever seen whom he considers to be as gorgeous as he is.)
- Duncan's knife game is called by various names, but I used "five-finger fillet" because it's the most descriptive. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 00:07, April 8, 2012 (UTC)
I suddenly realized today that I'd never read part 2 of The Fourth Night! I'm glad I got it read and voted in the polls before your next post. :D JustLittleOlMe Lil Jay JLOM Jay-Z Lady Gideon 16:13, April 19, 2012 (UTC)
Fifth Night Discussion & Polls
FIfth Night Polls
Fifth Night Discussion
I was the first to vote in the polls just so you know in case I don't make first comment.
I was very excited to see what happened and you didn't disappoint (not that I thought you would). Felt bad Courtney got out but she just couldn't handle it.
I liked how Sadie was thinking so strategically. Out of the two she is stated to think with her head, and you have shown that wonderfully. And I liked the Jen 6teen reference.
I was sad Heather didn't last, but factually it didn't make sense for her to. And Chris's information about teams not hanging together was a shocker to them, but not as much to me as we know Chris. Duncan's shakiness, was a bit of odd and hooked me into him but I'll get to that and the teams not allowed to interact in a bit.
Poor Owen. All he wanted was seconds and now you're on the chopping block. I did think Sadie's crush on Owen was rather cute. I did like Sadie's thinking of saving Owen, again showing her true brain power. She really did get the reward for best portrayal of a canon character and you just keep showing that.
I understand Heather's reasoning skills and hope her plan can help send home Justin, just because I love your portrayal of Heather. Though I do love Justin, he and Lindsay are adorable and I totally love them together.
I love how you had the final 2 be the bottom two. It was just great irony. In the end, I will miss Owen, which is something I never thought I could say. But he was portrayed greatly too. I did love how you panned the show and gave the background about the five nights a week and about Blaineley. Very clever.
I really like this alliance of four and hope they can succeed in voting someone off. Heather is still Heather and I remember that rule about borrowing things and I'm glad Heather at least gave a reason. I'm glad Courtney is keeping a close eye on Zeke as I think it's a good idea and I want him to change.
I love Lindsay reply to Noah, it definitely got a crack out of me. I liked the better explanation of the rules, and I have to say that I loved the way you wrote the dodgeball scene like an actual war. It was incredibly awesome!
I liked Eva's paying strategy, it was very humorous. Tyler was still really bad and I'm wondering if anyone is thinking of wanting he was actually eliminated than Beth who was spared. I like how Noah still didn't compete though I'm hoping that won't cause his elimination. And Chris' evil surprise was really great.
I liked Gwen's strategy for winning by scavenging, though I'm not surprised Izzy got her. I loved Katie and Sadie's domination but I really loved Bridgette's getting the neo Gemini twins (love the nickname) out. And Cody was really awesome to with way of his getting DJ out.
I love Courtney's leading skills and Duncan's smoking habit coming to light is shocking and interesting. And I loved the talk of sex, both sorta of talking about crack pairings but also bringing up the mom we all know about.
I loved Heather getting even with Noah too, enjoying how we understand Heather's feelings, making her snarky comment about sports being his forte even funnier. LeShawna and Eva's lines to each other were great and I really loved them talking about their pasts. And poor Lindsay, but I loved Justin unleashing his anger and winning. Those two are so cute!
Really great chapter Gideon, but I hate how I have to wait, though the wait is always worth it. Rhonda is the meanest, vilest, ugliest, stankiest, crankiest, won’t even say high to your momma, cheapest, creepiest, arrogant sea witch in all the seas! And I’m not very fond of her either. 05:42, April 29, 2012 (UTC)
- Yes, I was kind of hard on Lindsay (and I’m not done with her yet), but Eva was overdue for a temper scene. I’m not totally heartless, though. After all, I did give Lindsay the distinction of scoring the match’s first kill in order to show that, while she’d have trouble outthinking a rock, she’s not totally useless like she was for the first half of the series.
- As for the irony of the elimination and the Bottom Two, I think the real irony is that Owen’s being the show’s go-to character for bathroom humor was supposed to help make him a fan favorite in the series, but in my version it led directly to his early elimination. (Be honest—you weren’t surprised that I could make a fart joke dramatically important, were you?)
- I did struggle for a time with the question of how to reveal to the other campers the fact that Owen had (possibly) blown the challenge for his team, because the only eyewitness to be explicitly mentioned was Heather, who wouldn’t be present at the lodge. Eventually, I hit on the idea of having Hatchet reveal it, since he had the night shift and so would have been the one to officially call Gwen and Trent out. One thing then led to another, because Hatchet probably doesn’t care enough about the outcome to air a camper’s dirty laundry without being prompted. He didn’t intend to rat out Owen, but he also didn’t care who might overhear.
- This also played into the need for Owen to realize that he was at risk, because somebody needed to be a fifth vote against Gwen, and a nervous Owen seemed the most logical choice. (I had originally planned to reveal the vote totals in dialogue, instead of just in the notes, but oh well. While not explicitly stated in the scene, Chris did tell the campers that it was a 6-5 vote.)
- As for Sadie, she may not be as preoccupied with strategy as Heather is, but she’s smart enough to take an opportunity that falls into her lap. She did genuinely want to please Heather and, as Katie pointed out, she had an ulterior motive into the bargain. In any case, the strategy scene showed that Katie and Sadie aren’t a hive mind all the time. (Just most of the time, as the dodgeball match illustrated.) Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:08, May 2, 2012 (UTC)
Just caught up with the Fifth Night. I absolutely love how you're describing the dodgeball matches. You've managed to make me actually enjoy Sadie as a character. The LAL reference killed me. Justin avenging Lindsay was adorable, by the way. I'm loving every moment of this! ~ Kgman04! ♪ Talk! ♫ Contribs! 17:55, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
- I'm getting that a lot with Sadie, as you might imagine. Clearly, I made the right move in putting her up for consideration in the Wiki Awards. The canon Sadie was supposed to be reasonably smart, although we never really got to see that in the series. Well, you got to see it here.
- As for Lindsay/Justin ("Lustin?" Well, that would reflect the general shallowness of their attraction), they also seem to have become popular, and that might result in their getting a little more screentime. The elimination order is set, and has been for almost a year, but if I get word that certain characters are becoming reader favorites, then those favorites might get a higher profile in the form of additional scenes. Fifth Night had some of this for both Sadie and "Lustin".
- If you've ever read The Iliad (or The Odyssey, for that matter), you may have noticed that Homer spends a lot of time describing material things. For example, he doesn't just say that Teucer has a bow, he mentions that the bow is made of horn. He might also mention that a set of greaves (essentially shinguards) has buckles made of silver. In the dodgeball match, that tendency is the basis for tidbits such as the description of what the balls are made of, or of how Tyler acquired his tracksuit. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 00:08, May 12, 2012 (UTC)
The lyrical quality of the first part of the dodgeball match was mesmerizing! I LOVED it! And your characterizations of these kids is spot-on, imo! I can almost see them behaving that way. I just saw the Lindsay-Justin together-name above! xDDD How totally apropos!! It suits. They specifically deserve the Homer-esque style of writing you've given this chapter, and it really shone when Lyndsay was hit by that final ball, and Justin rage-fought to protect her. I'm also loving Duncan's inappropriate habits finally kicking him around for this show. Also, thank you for Courtney being civil towards Tyler, even though he couldn't throw well if his life depended on it! xDD Beautiful chapter!
I didn't think that the show's dodgeball episode could be improved upon, simply because it was my favorite episode of the entire series. With your lack of time and space constraints, however, you've done a remarkable job on it! Keep up the awesome work, Gid! ^_^ JustLittleOlMe Lil Jay JLOM Jay-Z Jay-cobb Jayneneh Lady Gideon 04:41, May 24, 2012 (UTC)
Sixth Night Discussion & Polls
Sixth Night Polls
Sixth Night Discussion
Sixth Night is significantly shorter than previous chapters, but is actually within my target range. Nights 1-5 were 10,000 - 12,000 words each, Sixth Night is around 7,000 words, and my target range is 5,000 - 8,000 words. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:04, July 1, 2012 (UTC)
I just finished a little bit ago, and I loved it!
I can't remember exactly, but I think this is the first mention of the mom's marital status, which seems to be that she is not married. Courtney was very in character, and I liked that she didn't want to give up leadership to Duncan, but that she is willing to do what must be down. Duncan's plan was pretty genius, and the details seemed pretty smart.
I love Katie and Sadie in LTDI, and I loved their teamwork. I feel bad for Sadie, she tried to catch the ball and she gets a limp. I think you have captured what was stated about Sadie; out of the twins, she is the one who thinks with her head. This is kind of thrown out in a lot of cases in fanfictions, but you let it shine.
I loved Chris' interferences, and how he is the Lord of Wawanakwa. After the ear kissing, I felt it was pretty funny Cody was the one to talk to Noah, but it makes sense. Again, Cody mentions Sadie has trying her hardest even though she can't do much. Another reason Sadie is so great here. “You’re not giving her enough credit.” That is so true of alot of fans of Total Drama. Is it wrong I want Sadie to win?
I was also glad to see Lindsay's gymnastics skills. Unlike the writers, you read the Total Drama bios. I was glad Cody and Noah were the ones to come up with the idea on how to defeat the strategy. And go Noah for wanting to do something!
I loved your poem, it flowed very nicely, and certainly seemed like a good speech before battle. My favorite part was;
"In times to come, when people talk about
This day and how we earned our fame and honor,
Whether as gloried victors or as valiant
Vanquished, we shall recall our deeds of yore."
I don't really know why, it just was. But overall it was very good. Courtney's speech wasn't as poetic, but I still liked it, especially when she says for Harold. Eva vs. Justin was a great conclusion, and I was afraid you would leave off there, and am glad you didn't.
Zeke cheering for Eva was awesome, and I'm glad he is starting to be more respectable. Hope that continues. In the end, I was in favor of Eva in the end, simply because I love Eva in LTDI, so I was very glad when she won.
The cliffhanger was great! Will Cody work with Heather? It drives me crazy that we may not know. Though I do want you to play up the suspense because it is a great idea!
Can't wait for more (though I have to). Again, great job with the poem and the characterization. Aw, your simple innocence is one of the most attractive things about you! You're like a kitten! A kitten that doesn't speak Japanese! 04:01, July 1, 2012 (UTC)
- Actually, the mother's marital status was first mentioned in the Second Night preamble. Although each preamble is largely the same, I'm trying to throw in little variations like that, much as The 1,001 Nights sometimes does.
- I inflicted that injury on Sadie mainly to add color and emphasize just how overmatched the Eagles were at that point. Sadie started the next game, implying that she was able to walk it off. And no, it's not wrong to want Sadie to win. At the moment, she's one of only four campers with more than two votes in the winner guessing poll, with most of those votes being recorded before she even became prominent. Lindsay's gymnastics background, as per the show's noncanon text bios, also had no dramatic importance (which doesn't mean that it might not down the road) and was there for color and character development. More to the point, its purpose was to emphasize that Lindsay, despite her mental shortcomings, is not useless.
- Cody and Noah didn't so much find a way to defeat Duncan's strategy as enable the Eagles to hold their own against it and to copy it effectively. As you know, the basic strategy was the same as in the canon. I just fleshed it out, largely to showcase Courtney's leadership skill. (Same with her "win one for the Gipper" moment.) I hit on the idea of organized patterns because the patterns we saw on the show seemed too easy to dodge, and it provided a logical reason for the Eagles to have trouble copying the strategy effectively.
- I wrote the Eva vs. Justin scene almost two years ago, and in fact that was the very first scene I wrote for the dodgeball match. It would have been a good place to put a cliffhanger--perhaps as good in its own way as the temptation of Cody--and I decided against it mainly because it would have made for a marginal chapter length. (Besides, the temptation of Cody made for a better poll question.)
- As for Zeke, it's a long road for a guy like him to become acceptable to "polite society". He's not going to change overnight, which is why Courtney is keeping him close. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:12, July 2, 2012 (UTC)
Wow! Rhonda said it all perfectly! :D I truly love all the beauty of the "Greek War Poetry" you've turned this into. It is quite lovely. Kudos!! ;) Jay JLOMAny good or kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again.-Author Unknown 05:44, July 1, 2012 (UTC)
I loved this chapter a lot! I finally got to finishing it on the beach today, I just sat there and read, and it was so much fun to read all the chapters. It is like the first season, but in some sort of epic novel that exaggerates every moment, turning each chapter into a dramatic cliffhanger that makes you dying to read the next. It is so much fun to read! -- 21:46, July 2, 2012 (UTC)
I know I didn't comment on this earlier, but I did read the latest installment of LTDI this weekend, despite not commenting until now. As usual, this chapter was fantastic, especially Courtney and Duncan's battle tactics, and Noah's reasoning for not playing/his poetic speech advocating for why he should coach his team. I take it your original poem was Noah's speech, which, as previously stated, was fantastic, and this is coming from a fairly well-versed poetry reader!
I also see Cody's honor/scruples are in question here, with his potential Faustian pact with Heather. Personally, I would be satisfied with either outcome, as I am both a huge canon Trent fan (at least from TDI), and a self-proclaimed strategist who would jump at the opportunity to lead a Heather-esque alliance, only better executed. Either way, it should be exciting to see what happens, so I'll keep looking forward to the next installment!- The Anonymous User 05:15, July 4, 2012 (UTC)
Okay, so I'm finally going to give you my long overdue comments! This one compiles my comments on Nights Four, Five, and Six, so I figured it made the most sense to put it in the discussion for the later section rather than the earlier ones.
I actually respect the campers for holding a memorial service for Harold, as nobody deserves to have their death relatively unacknowledged. The ceremony itself was a bit bittersweet, as while I was glad that they did something to memorialize him, the fact that they had only known Harold for a few days and had barely anything to say was sad. It just further proves that he died in vain, for no true reason at all (if he did die, that is.) I did love how Lindsay genuinely seemed to admire him for killing the beetle for her, as it brought just a small bit of light into the solemn scene.
I’ll admit, the first time that I read through Bridgette’s dream of finding Harold, I had convinced myself that she had actually found him. It was pretty obvious that it was just too good to be true, and I think I let my love of Harold overcome my common sense, but it was a nice thought while it lasted. After all, I think Harold would be one of the contestants who most likely could survive all of his time living in the wild. He does have those “mad skills.” It seemed right for good-hearted Bridgette to still have hopes that he was still alive somewhere.
Justin’s scene where he used his seductive powers to calm Katie was probably one of the best moments for his character for me. He’s always been a character who flip-flopped between being a team player and a manipulator, so I think this was the best of both worlds: using his powers for good.
The Awake-a-thon was always one of my favorite episodes of Total Drama (mostly because it was one of the only challenges from the first season that focused more on contestants interacting than physical activity), so I was really excited to see your take on it. You preserved the way that the original challenge was made out to be a sort of “getting to know you” episode without feeling like it slowed down the plot significantly. Though Ezekiel is still not a character that I’m fond of, I really enjoy the mentor-student relationship that he has with Courtney. Courtney is a character that I didn’t like in the show, but she always turns out to be one of my favorites when I read fics because she’s given the opportunity to put her urge to be a good leader to good use, and her advising Ezekiel is probably one of the best uses that I’ve seen. If there was anybody who could convince him to rethink his sexist ways, it would be Courtney, so I’m glad that she was determined to help him.
Now for a little bit of nitpicking: the “She so horny, love us long time” line from Duncan to Heather really rubbed me the wrong way. I am partially of an Asian background, so the totally racist line made me a bit uncomfortable. I guess that’s kind of Duncan’s brand of disrespectful humor (as you mentioned in the Trivia), so you’re succeeding in making him seem like a total pig, but that along with Heather’s title of “the dragon lady,” which is very fitting but also again emphasizes her Asian heritage, does make it seem a bit like you’re using as many racial stereotypes on her as possible, which is something that bothers me while reading. On a semi-related note, the conclusion that Heather being skinny must mean that she has an eating disorder pops up just a few too many times to sit right with me. As typical as it might seem of teens, I just really hate when people are too generous when throwing around the skinny=bulimic assumption, as there are a lot of less problematic ways for other characters to mock or criticize Heather for being slim.
I know I said this in a blog comment somewhere, but it only seems right that Owen was eliminated for the trait that defined his character the most in TDI: the fact that he’s a walking gas cloud. I like Owen, but he rarely has an important role in most stories, so I’m glad he went out the way he did. I’m sure he would see it as a noble way to go.
Moving on to Episode Four: I’ve always loved the way you take risks with your style, so the way that you wrote the dodgeball match to sound like it could’ve come out of The Odyssey was great to read. It really spiced up a scene that could have just been a typical “He did this, suddenly she did this” play-by-by of the action, even if most of the “spicing up” was just through colorful prose. I really enjoyed how you managed to make Eva’s tactic of hitting the guys where it hurts sound like a smart strategy instead of a crude way to target them. A few other small aspects that I especially enjoyed: Geoff (who seemed to take dodgeball seriously in the show) switching out his hat for a smaller visor, Chef being referred to as “Ref Hatchet” (which I’m really surprised the show has never used), Noah continuing to read as he argues with Heather, and some of the girls using the strategy of “scavenging” (which is the only way that I play dodgeball, since I’m much better at dodging than throwing.)
Chris giving himself the power to restore the teams is just such a Chris-like thing to do, and I think it was a great addition to extend the rounds and force them to be more exciting. Realistically, the dodgeball challenge probably would’ve taken a half an hour at most, which definitely wouldn’t be enough footage to make a worthwhile episode.
Leshawna and Eva’s friendly rivalry is one of my favorite interactions that you created for the story, and I am desperately hoping that they both make the merge so we can see their friendship in full. Speaking of perfect female duos, I have always loved your portrayal of Katie and Sadie. The show established their hive mind, but you have made them true “Gemini Twins” with how well they work together while still keeping their own individual personality quirks.
Though I like that you went into more detail with The Muskies’ strategies, I found it a little hard to believe that Courtney was able to militantly assign and name the patterns so quickly. She was still participating in the game, so the fact that she was able to concentrate on designing the patterns immediately just seemed a little too good to be true. Plus, I’d think at least one of her teammates would need a reminder. But that would ruin the dramatic effect, so I’m not exactly criticizing you for it as much as I just wanted to point it out. I do really enjoy that you applied the strategic military-esque mindset to Courtney, as it fits her character well with her being a cutthroat lawyer and all. You would usually see somebody choose to have a character like Duncan take the lead, when really having Duncan explain the strategy and then passing control on to Courtney really makes the most sense. One of my favorite Courtney highlights was when she knew that she could risk letting Tyler aim (and fail) to hit was the head, if only because it’ll distract the enemy.
Speaking of the organized patterns, I’m surprised it took as long as it did for somebody to call The Muskies out on using the same strategy. I’m glad that Cody was able to come up with a way to attempt to dodge the attacks, but I had figured that Chris would have pointed out the predictable pattern earlier than that (well, he kind of did when he said the first Game Four had been too fast, but for the sake of ratings I figured he’d be even more obvious that the technique was getting old.)
As for Cody’s secret agreement with Heather, I can’t say I didn’t expect it from him. I never really liked him on the show because he always seemed so desperate, and though you’ve made him a little more likable you’ve definitely carried over that trait. He’ll do anything for Gwen, but he quickly becomes selfish because he thinks that he’s the only one who should get her. He’s pretty much the epitome of the idea that some guys have that girls always fall for the “wrong guy,” not realizing that the only thing that makes Trent the “wrong guy” is that he’s not Cody.
I'll be posting my comment for the next few nights tomorrow. As always, your writing is wonderful, even when I was reading it for the second (or third or whatever it is) time. There's angels in the airwaves tonight, and I need you to stay. 01:21, August 7, 2014 (UTC)
- However long in coming, it's good to hear from you. As tempting as it is to bask in your praise, it might be more profitable to focus my comments on the bits that you were more critical of.
- “Dragon girl” (i.e. juvenile dragon lady) is one of my standard epithets for Heather because (as you noted) it fits her character so well, but Duncan’s “she so horny” line is a one-off. Although I’d use it, or something similar, again if circumstances warranted, I really don’t anticipate such a situation arising because the line served a specific dramatic purpose. In other words, there was more to it than just Duncan being Duncan. Ezekiel’s amused reaction portrays Duncan as a corrupting influence on Zeke, just as Courtney is an ennobling influence, setting up the “good angel, bad angel” dynamic between Ezekiel’s nascent friends.
- The eating disorder references (especially the clifftop quarrel with Leshawna) were meant to convey that, gorgeous though she is, Heather is not merely slim; she’s visibly underweight. Not enough to be obvious at a distance, but enough to be noticeable at close range. (Even then, it might not be visible under more modest clothing, but Heather shows a lot of skin.) I envision her as an aspiring model who starves herself not because of any disorder, but because that’s what the profession demands, rather like how your own OC, Irina, has a significantly more prominent ribcage than the other TDI: FYE girls. You may recall that in the canon episode, “The Sucky Outdoors”, Heather mentions being on a diet—possibly working off the buffet binge preceding the Awake-a-thon—and I suspect that’s more the norm than the exception for her. LTDI also depicts Katie as underweight, albeit for different reasons. (Active lifestyle + “blast furnace metabolism” = difficulty maintaining weight.)
- Courntey’s remarkable generalship in the dodgeball match may have a bit of the ritual exaggeration associated with legends—a conceit that also explains the retention of certain cartoonish elements from the original, such as the thousand-foot diving cliff—but it’s mainly a combination of continuing the “war” flavor and talking being a free action, a trope this story normally averts but plays straight during the dodgeball match for stylistic reasons.
- The reason Chris didn’t interfere more directly during the mass barrage phase was that, with the Eagles leading 2-0 at one point, Chris was generally content to let the Muskies rally if the Eagles couldn’t figure out a solution for themselves. Only in Game 5 was he determined to force the teams to play normally, and he did that in his own subtle style. Had the teams not taken the hint, he would have restored the teams as often as he needed to—until the players dropped from exhaustion, if need be. There’s also the possibility that Chris didn’t need as much footage as he claimed, especially by the fifth game, because there would undoubtedly have been enough cameras on the court to get multiple angles for pretty much everything.
- Now, concerning more positive points:
- Bridgette’s dream apparently fooled a lot of people, which of course was the idea. As you probably know, feedback on my portrayal of Katie and Sadie has been overwhelmingly positive, and succeeded in making Sadie a breakout character. As for Harold, he wasn’t even around for a few days; he found his fate less than 24 hours after arriving on the island.
- Regarding Courtney and Ezekiel, all too many fics have him see the error of his ways pretty much instantly and beg forgiveness with varying degrees of abjectness. I wanted a more realistic approach (in keeping with the story’s higher level of realism with respect to the original) wherein Ezekiel changes his ways gradually and in part because he sees that it’s in his own best interests to do so. Courtney doesn’t seem to be a character that Zeke has much positive interaction with in fics, but here she seemed to me the girl who would be most willing to “reeducate” a problem teammate.
- I’m glad to hear that my story bears rereading (and re-rereading) well. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 14:15, August 7, 2014 (UTC)
Seventh Night Discussion & Polls
Seventh Night Polls
Seventh Night Discussion
Oh goodness, that chapter was great! I just finished reading it and I love it! It really brought back good memories of TDI, but I actually may like it better than the actual talent show episode! Sadly, I have school tomorrow and I'm already up way too late, but I will give a lengthy comment tomorrow! I just wanted you to know how great that chapter was. IT WAS SO GREAT. I can't decide on part was more interesting and how unsure I am of what will happen next. Heather going seems so unlikely, but if anyone can pull it off it is you. Besides, Harold dying seemed unlikely, and it seems to have happened. And what will happen if she is voted off? Your polls hint at what could, and they are all interesting directions. I will comment more soon, but for now I need sleep. If I can even sleep anymore. Aw, your simple innocence is one of the most attractive things about you! You're like a kitten! A kitten that doesn't speak Japanese! 04:05, September 4, 2012 (UTC)
Another excellent chapter, Gideon!! I felt like Trent was doomed the moment Cody agreed to vote for him, and though it turned out that feeling was justified, it was a nice twist nonetheless. Speaking of twists, I'm loving the as-of-yet unresolved one against Heather - is it bad that I really want her to be voted off simply because I want to see what you'll do with the story without TDI's famous villainess? Still, reason tells me that she won't go easily - especially if she can keep her alliance loyal - but with a story like LTDI, nothing is certain, so I suppose I'll just have to wait and see. Finally, I love the new camp-wide expression of "Sunshine told me". How dare they paint Sunshine as such a gossip! I mean... they're right, but still... it's just the principle of the thing...
- There will be a few other eliminations of this type, where all the real drama is in lining up the votes and I treat the ceremony itself as a fait accompli. And I thought you'd like my treatment of Sunshine in this chapter. I don't know offhand if any of her previous appearances expressly depict her as gossipy (TWE might), but it does seem a natural extension of her tendency to act without thought for the consequences. And I love you fanart. The only reason why I might decide against putting them on the story page is that, at this point in the story, the campers still assume that Sunshine is supposed to be human. They can't see her, after all, and Izzy hasn't given them a physical description. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 22:15, September 5, 2012 (UTC)
The one thing I feel I can say is that this is so, so, so much darker than I ever thought it would be. Heck, even the humor is dirty. I'll be honest, not a huge fan of the way you portrayed Noah this episode, but it did make for some interesting courses of action by the campers, and you were at least aware enough to lampshade the strange pairing of Noah and Katie. Well, since all my favorite characters have either been majorly reimagined, voted out, or
killed in hiding, I guess I'll pull for Bridgette, even though I know she'll be an unlucky soul. ALL WE WANNA DO IS EAT YOUR BRAINSIt's nothing personal 19:21, September 4, 2012 (UTC)
- Yes, now that you mention it, this did turn out to be one of the story's darker chapters, especialy with respect to poor Bridgette--first mourning the interns in advance, and then fearing (however briefly) that she's just killed a teammate. (The latter really illustrates how a little extra detail can profoundly affect a scene's tone.) As for Noah, it might be helpful to me if you could be more specific about what you don't like about the way I portray him. I thought that I was keeping him reasonably close to the canon version, with the most notable departure being his inclination to show off how well read he is.
- Regarding the apparently poor track record of your favorite characters, it is a curse of the reimagining story that the reader's favorites in the reimagining tend to be pretty much the same as their favorites in the canon, which is probably a major reason why you don't see people do rankings blogs for reimaginings. Oh, well, maybe you can find some new favorites. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:24, September 9, 2012 (UTC)
Ok, now my long comment! So Cody actually went with the plan. I have to say this was a great twist and I liked it! I'm interested to see what Heather will have Cody do to pay her back. I can see and agree with why Heather sees romantic pairings as alliances. Friendships and relationships are basically alliances, except they usually weren't formed to be alliances. The friends/couple vote together to ensure the other doesn't go home.
I like Cody and Noah's interactions and their brain alliance. Brains for the win! And Noah likes Katie? I was kinda of hoping for Heather and Noah, but I do like Katie and Noah as a couple. I will say that I like Sadie more than Katie, and in my opinion I feel like most people (but not all people of course) like Katie better because she is more attractive and better to pair couples. But I don't dislike Katie. I like how you lampshaded the reason most people disagree with Katie and Noah is because they are too different.
Poor Gwen and Trent. I do have to say that Gwen had fallen hard, but that is actually realistic and something teens often do. It seems like the mom isn't Gwen, since she doesn't get boys who play guitars and Gwen does. I really enjoyed the scene of LeShawna comforting Gwen, you write LeShawna's speech so clever and witty, I love it! It makes me love LeShawna even more. I particularly like her line, “A broken heart’s a bad guide." And I like her nickname Shawnee. It makes sense for her.
More redcoats have arrived to the island! I liked how Chris started with and gets 13 more new interns. It is funny Beth is the superstitious one, since the tiki idol she found was cursed. I'm sure you realize that. I couldn't agree more with Bridgette, and I loved her confessional. Bridgette is just another character you write really well. I do however have one question; what do you mean "a natural to wear one of the white hats"? I'm not familiar with the term and I tried searching it, but it didn't help.
I loved Duncan and Eva's interactions. I hope Duncan doesn't rub too much off on Zeke. I also like how Courtney and Heather had a little spat. Looking back on it, was it hinting at Heather's possible elimination? And the fact Courtney may cause it?
I liked the added details you gave to the different talents, such as Bridgette doing contortionist tricks. And I particularly like Eva's talent. Poor Beth, getting chosen over for Izzy. I liked how Izzy understood and let her join her. Maybe Beth, Izzy and Sunshine will all become friends! Speaking of which, I like the way people explain "Sunshine told me". It is simply hysterical. I'm going to have to find a way to reference that.
Heather is taking charge again! I really like your portrayal of Heather. I'm going to be sad if she leaves, but it could open up all kinds of possibilities, and shows no one is really safe. At first the intern I thought helping Heather was the intern based on DJ's prototype design (which I believe influenced B's future design). I found it hysterical it was Lightning.
I love Katie and Sadie as piano players. That just works. And I'm not surprised at Noah's talent either. And Lindsay and Justin as "family friendly" pole dancers? I can see that. I loved they worked together in a tango. I can only imagine what it would be like.
The Cody and Gwen scene was nice. I can see Cody and Gwen as good friends if Cody wasn't such a stalker (they kind of were in TDI but TDWT ruined any genuine feeling friendship for me). It is interesting that the contestants are all ready thinking of returning contestants. I'm interested to see if that happens. I wonder if it will be Harold if anyone does return...
And of course Bridgette has to injure Courtney again. I'm actually glad it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm actually glad her violin survived, though I was expecting you to reference to Courtney and the Violin of Despair. And I love the break of the fourth wall you did with Scott as an intern!
The talent show was fantastic! Everyone's talents were great. I love Zeke showing off his bullwhipping techniques. Again, a talent that just works for the character. And I just realized a clever foreshadowing you had done to Izzy and Beth's talent show accident;
“And now, for the Eagle’s second act, it’s time for Justin and Lindsay to burn the floor!
“Promises,” Izzy quipped to Beth.
It was really Izzy and Beth who burnt the floor (among Lindsay's hair). But Justin and Lindsay did a great dance. I love the costumes they wear and how you described everything about their dance. And I love how you described Beth and Izzy's performance as well. And the 'finale' to their performance was quite interesting. It was really interesting to read. Poor Lindsay, her hair ruined. I'm worried how Justin might react...
I recognized the title of Heather's dramatic reading! Very clever Gideon. I liked how you went into detail about how Heather read, and you certainly made it seem like a much more humiliating read that way. Too bad Harold and his ant farm isn't here.
Man, Courtney has guts. Which I love, because that is the kind of person I think Courtney is. I'm looking forward to see if she makes a perfect score. Like I said in my earlier comment, Heather possibly going would be so shocking! I'm interested to see where this goes. The polls certainly hint at several different possibilities.
I can't wait to see more Gideon! I'm dying to find out Heather's fate! Aw, your simple innocence is one of the most attractive things about you! You're like a kitten! A kitten that doesn't speak Japanese! 03:22, September 5, 2012 (UTC)
- Heather’s “hookup = alliance” mindset and LeShawna’s nickname are both canon. (LeShawna once called herself “Shawnee” after a confrontation with Eva.) As for the possibility of getting Heather hooked up, she’s not looking for a boyfriend (which, of course, doesn’t mean that she might not find one anyway) for the same reason that she doesn’t want her lackeys hooking up: she sees it as a dangerous distraction, not least because of its potential to create conflicting loyalty. (Eva, as you may recall, took a similar position in her Second Night scene with LeShawna.) Of course, feigning interest in a boy to gain his cooperation is another matter, and it’s somewhat surprising that the canon Heather never did this.
- As you probably noticed, the “LeShawna comforts Gwen” scene is a greatly expanded version of the canon scene that opens the hide and seek episode. The main reason I put in so much more detail is because my version of the scene comes so much earlier in the story arc, so there’s more character development to do. Most notably, my version marks the start of the Gwen-LeShawna friendship.
- It’s “redshirts”, not “redcoats”. We’re not talking about the British Army here. That’s as may be, “white hat/ black hat” refers to the convention in Western movies where the bad guys wore black hats and the good guys wore white (or at least light-colored) hats, presumably to help the audience keep track of who was who in the action scenes. Second Night made a similar reference to the producers pegging Eva for a “black hat”. What this means is that Bridgette is getting a “hero” edit and Eva is getting a “villain” edit. Speaking of Eva, her conflict with Duncan is the most intense in camp at this point, mainly because Eva thinks that Duncan is a worse sexist than Ezekiel. Ezekiel may see girls as weak, or at least better suited to some roles than to others, but Duncan (so far) appears to see them mainly as objects.
- Although it wasn’t my main reason for including him, having Lightning cameo as an intern is also a nice development gag, since proto-Lightning appeared as an intern in TDWT. As for Scott also having a cameo, I don’t think it’s giving away too much to say that other TDROTI newcomers will appear throughout the story. They’ll all be interns. (I’ve previously told others that Dawn will appear at some point.)
- Cody’s theme song is one of those that I couldn’t post right away because certain things had to happen in the story before people would understand why it fit. They’ll (somewhat) understand now, though, with the allusion that Cody is willing to do just about anything for Gwen. (Which, come to mention it, really isn’t all that different from his canon obsession.) The incident that led me to choose Cody’s theme occurs in a later chapter, but that’s another story for another time.
- The scene where Bridgette injures Courtney is another example, similar to Heather/LeShawna on the diving cliff, of how changing/adding a few details can profoundly alter the scene’s tone. I hadn’t really considered trying to work in a Violin of Despair reference, possibly because a later chapter does reference it. As for Courtney’s violin surviving, Courtney had to perform her act to set the stage for the next elimination, not to mention that that her “one string” spiel was a good way to illustrate her skill and self-confidence; so if her violin had been destroyed (which I did consider doing), the producers would have been able to get her a replacement. That might have been a good place to work in a Violin of Despair reference, come to mention it.
- It’s too bad that Spenny’s not around to see my reference to his story. He and the likewise departed Gigi were my closest wiki friends in my early days here, which is partly why I included the reference in the first place. (Ditto with the LAL reference in the dodgeball match.) In fact, before I changed Katie and Sadie’s act from comedy to music, Sadie would have broken the Fourth Wall at the end of their act by saying, in a gravelly voice, “Good night, Spenny, wherever you are.” (The reference being to Jimmy Durante’s closing catchphrase, “Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.”)
- I’ll admit that I’ve been rather hard on poor Lindsay, first with a bloody injury in the dodgeball match and now getting her hair ruined. Eighth Night will deal at length with the fallout from the latter incident. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:36, September 16, 2012 (UTC)
I'm thinking Courtney's concert will win the challenge, which will definitely give Heather lots of problems. If Heather were to be voted out, which I doubt due to her alliance, that Katie and Sadie together would become the alliance powers, with Lindsay as their vice-power. Interestingly, now Gwen "owns" Cody's votes for a time, since Heather is sure to vote against Gwen for sheer spite. Happily, Heather is currently unaware of Gwen's new ally. I'm looking forward to this next vote! :) Jay JLOMThings turn out for the best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out - John Wooden 09:02, November 23, 2012 (UTC)
- With LeShawna as a friend, and with both Cody and Katie owing her debts of honor, Gwen has the building blocks for a powerful alliance. The question now is, "Is Gwen enough of a strategist to see that?" Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 22:06, November 24, 2012 (UTC)
Eighth Night Discussion & Polls
Eighth Night Polls
Eighth Night Discussion
Sorry, Bridgette fans. I'd have liked to keep her around longer, but the storylines dictated otherwise. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:19, October 29, 2012 (UTC)
I really enjoy the way you've written how Izzy speaks. :D She blathers on and on in a free-thought mind dump and never seems to stop. xDD You just close the quotes after an elipses. ( ...") That's SO Izzy! =) And your visual description of Heather and her hench-gals is wonderful! Lindsay sounds heavenly, and Katie and Sadie should get careers as hair stylists. I believe the note is from Justin to Lindsay, although Justin doesn't really seem the type to have written it. Still, he hardly speaks, so we don't really know how educated he really is. I might change my poll votes on a whim in the future. And that was really sweet of Zeke to sing that song. He's breaking out of his shell. :) Awesome polls, too. Also, I'm not sure that Bridgette was any more deserving than anyone else on her team to go, but Eva did make an excellent observation. Good job. :) Jay JLOMIf you think you are beaten, you are; If you think that you dare not, you don't; ... -Author Unknown 22:03, December 17, 2012 (UTC)
I've just added that Izzy should've been voted off, but she's way too much fun for me to want her to be voted off, so that's my new poll answer. ;) Jay JLOMIf you'd like to win but think you can't, it's almost certain you won't. ... -Author Unknown 18:19, January 2, 2013 (UTC)
First I'm sooooooooooooooooooo sorry I haven't commented yet! I don't know where my head is :P And it's awful because everything so far has been great! I've been caught up but I've been trying to balance lots of stuff. But better late than never I suppose. Hopefully this won't happen again.
I enjoyed reading Heather's thoughts as she sweated it out, it certainly built on the already escalating tension. It'd be interesting to see what would have happened had Courtney prevailed. Unfortunately for Courtney she had not. It was an amazing effort and I kind of wanted her to prevail, but Heather leaving now maybe too soon.
I also love Eva and Zeke little scene there as they help Courtney. It makes me really hope for Ezekiel. XD Although I do love how Chris mentions that only the dude succeeded and that probably wasn't helping Zeke's opinion. Wonder if he and Chef have made a bet on whether Zeke changes or not.
And I'm guessing Chris' dig on Heather not being genre savvy here was a bit of an allusion to your own feelings on Heather's canon portrayal or feelings on the incident. And sweet Chef, he's really a good guy underneath it all. He's just doing his job. It looks like Heather still in some form of power, especially since no one has the courage to confront her. Bet Trent would if he was still there.
As for the Muskie's choice, it's hard to say. I don't think Courtney deserved to go, especially after she risked all that to try and give her team a win. They need to give props where props are due. XD I love how Izzy fistbumps Sunshine. LTDI's portrayal of Izzy makes remember just how much I love her! I also love this friendship between Beth and Alejandro. I kind of want them to be a couple now...
I like how Zeke sticks up for Courtney. It's interesting how different and almost ironic (such as Zeke and Courtney being friends when they were the bottom 2) LTDI is from canon TDI and yet the characterizations feel genuine. If it were me I'd vote off Izzy but I glad she didn't go home because I love seeing her!
Another intern cameo, this time from Cameron! I do love how you do the elimination ceremonies, you milk the drama so great it has amazing payoff! The confessionals are really great, and I like how many of them are similarly worded. I also like how Izzy mentioned Heather's hair should've got the damage. Another canon reference I assume ;) So sad Bridgette had to leave but better her than Beth or Izzy (though I knew Beth would be safe thanks to a preview :P)
Gwen's definitely is in a good position game wise. With Katie telling her everything she may bring down Heather yet. I completely agree with Brett's reaction. Epic karma indeed! And now knowing someone will die at Boney Island, I agree, best Bridgette left while she could. She was just too nice.
Poor Lindsay, so innocent and sweet. I love Lindsay for that. Also glad to see Heather's being a little smart by giving Lindsay a makeover instead of going too far. I think the makeover scene was really sweet and really helped lighten up the mood (especially with what is to come, mainly for poor Katie and Sadie). I really like the happy squeal part XD
Also Staci cameo :D I liked Cody and Noah's reaction to Katie and Sadie's new look. Hmm and I wonder who Tyler has a crush on. I might guess Eva, just for the irony. These looks sound really great, I particularly like Lindsay's and how she is now more of an 'earth goddess'.
And a love poem? My first thought was that the love letter was like the one LeShawna got in canon. Based on the poetry I'm assuming its written by Noah for Katie. They're so cute :3 And the two people who went missing...my first guess was Sadie and Katie, which was right.
Overall, great chapter, my favorite part being the elimination ceremony! Sorry it took so long to comment. Been there, done that. Got the t-shirt. Sold my soul, and yeah the truth hurts. 18:59, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
- My thought is that if Courtney had won the challenge for her team, Heather would have had to make a lot of promises to keep her allies loyal to her. That would still leave her potentially one vote short, with Cody or Justin as her most likely saviors. I could see Justin demanding that Heather stop trying to come between him and Lindsay, and Cody… well, I won’t give any hints on what Cody might demand if Heather had to give him whatever he wanted, because that very situation comes up in a later chapter.
- The main reason why the Diary Incident blew over so quickly is not because of Heather’s power so much as because her pettiness didn’t cost her team the challenge. (None of which is to say that someone might not be plotting an awful vengeance.) As for Chris’ reaction, let’s just say that the readers aren’t the only ones who thought that it would have been too early for Heather to go. (Although yes, I was dissatisfied with Justin’s elimination in the canon version, simply because it was so random.)
- “There’s hope for you, yet” may become a minor catchphrase in this story. Although it’s most commonly said by one girl or another to Ezekiel, it crops up in other situations as well. And no, Chris doesn’t have a bet with Chef on whether Ezekiel changes, for the simple reason that neither of them cares enough about whether he does to bet on it. As for Chef, he’s a textbook “punch clock villain”.
- I’ve been trying to mix up the handling of the elimination ceremonies. Using the tapes in this case, and Eva casting the deciding vote against Bridgette, were references to certain events surrounding Eva’s return and second elimination in the canon. The similar wording, effectively dividing the votes into groups of three, had two purposes: (1) to illustrate that the Muskies had no consensus; and (2) to set up Izzy’s “mind dump” as Jay described it. And yes, Izzy’s claim that Heather is more deserving of having her hair burned is a reference to that iconic moment in the canon.
- I was somewhat concerned that Bridgette’s elimination might look contrived, because (as mentioned in the footnotes) the real reason she got booted is because she was a victim of the elimination order following the storylines. Ezekiel’s defense of Courtney illustrates that (a) he’s starting to change, and (b) he and Courtney are starting to move beyond their protégé/mentor relationship and become friends. The major difference between LTDI and TDI here is that, thanks largely to Courtney, Ezekiel got the second chance in LTDI that he didn’t get in canon. The canon Courtney wouldn’t have stood up for him after that first challenge because she needed to save herself; but my Courtney wasn’t at risk because she took the plunge at the diving cliff (necessary to set up the lawyer joke) and so had the luxury of being able to think about someone besides herself.
- Lindsay’s makeover scene had far more detail than was strictly necessary to advance the story, and was mainly a character development scene. Even Heather eventually got into it (somewhat) because damaged beauty is Serious Business to her, hence her description of Lindsay’s impending makeover as an “emergency” and her uncharacteristic generosity in allowing the use of her hair care supplies. That doesn’t mean she can stop being Heather, though, hence her attempts to boss Katie and Sadie around.
- Ah, the love note. This is indeed based on LeShawna’s “secret admirer” subplot in the canon, the difference being that I stretch it out over several episodes. You can expect to see at least two more notes before this plot point is resolved. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 16:16, April 18, 2013 (UTC)
Ninth Night Discussion & Polls
Ninth Night Polls
Ninth Night Discussion
Wow! I love the Muskie's choice of songs! Very fun and intellectual group bonding. :) The Katie/Sadie saga is very sad and dark, but very intriguing. I'm looking forward to the next chapter! :D Jay JLOMIf you'd like to win but think you can't, it's almost certain you won't. ... -Author Unknown 21:00, December 30, 2012 (UTC)
- I had a lot of fun writing the group bonding scenes. As for the Katie/Sadie subplot, I think it fits the mood of the story much better than simply recreating the fight they had in the original episode. And let's face it, if I can write darkness well for those two without derailing their personalities, then I should be able to write it for anyone. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 22:26, January 1, 2013 (UTC)
- Glad you liked it, Fan. It's been a while since I've heard from you, and I'm glad to see that you've been keeping up. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 22:26, January 1, 2013 (UTC)
That was excellent, the suspense building over the fate of Katie and Sadie is killing me... I wish March would be here already.126.96.36.199 05:59, January 1, 2013 (UTC)
- Just curious, have we met? It doesn't really matter, because whether you're a new reviewer or an old one, I appreciate the feedback. As for the suspense, if the cliffhanger has you looking forward to the next chapter, then it's doing its job. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 22:26, January 1, 2013 (UTC)
No! Darn you cliffhanger, why must you be so cruel to me! That was an amazing chapter and I'm now ripping my hair out waiting for another one!SpaceWeather of planet Earth (talk) 08:43, January 1, 2013 (UTC)
- Glad to hear that you liked it, SpaceWeather. Much as I like to hear from my regular reviewers, it's always good to hear from someone new. I'm not surprised that this chapter's reviewers are mainly talking about the cliffhanger, because it was pretty intense. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 22:26, January 1, 2013 (UTC)
So the Ninth Night has to be one of the best chapters [which is stiff competition] or at least have one of the most hook in cliffhangers.
Izzy and Courtney would make a good comedy duo. I can only imagine the kind of exchanges that happened. I think I may have mentioned before but I like Ezekiel and Beth as friends and Beth having a farming background, even though the latter was only mentioned in the bios, which are hardly remembered by the writers.
As for Beth and Izzy as an alliance, I completely support the idea. I love the two of them separate [which means an alliance may help them stay longer], but a friendship between them seems really clever. I also like the idea of Courtney and Zeke having an alliance, though I wonder what Duncan would say…
Hmm…so Heather doesn’t plan on following her own ‘no romance’ rule? I’m pretty sure that’s foreshadowing… I didn’t think Heather was the mother after awhile because The Storyteller often refers to her as ‘the dark queen’ and other similar things. Talking negatively about her.
But it could be that The Storyteller [if she is Heather] does think her actions back then were awful and sees herself as a different person [which is why she goes by a different name].
I’m glad Leshawna realizes she was wrong and apologizes, and of course LTDI actually had that ‘keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer’ thing resolved.
Your characterization of Heather is exactly how I see her and I love how it is discussed here! I wish I could have put it that clearly and simply when I was trying to explain it.
I love Katie’s logic on which path to take, it kind of makes sense but is so crazy. I love even more that it worked but they still didn’t go the right way!
As for the Muskies dinner, it sounds odd. I didn’t know people ate porcupines but I love the descriptions of how it was caught. My favorite catch though has to be Eva’s, simply for the way it was described. Delicate and lady-like indeed.
I feel so bad for D.J. and the loss of his bunny. I wonder if another bunny will show up for him during the team-building challenge, if DJ lasts that long. I like the idea of a conflict between DJ and Zeke based on the idea animal lover vs. a hunter. It also gives Zeke some good conflict, I know that a few other notable TD fanfics portray Zeke positively but give him no real conflicts with anyone at times, so it was nice to see a change.
I still love the Brain Trust, and how they found the cattails. It’s things like that; surviving or using your knowledge and skills I kinda wish I saw more of that in canon, a lot of challenges just feel physical.
I love the suggestions for what to sing at the campfire. I had actually heard ‘The Clean Song’ before but didn’t know it was called the Clean Song. Also, it is by coincidence that three of the four songs [Not Iris and Rose] are related to the ocean, being like sea shanties?
I love the idea of them learning the song Zeke sang to use at their eliminations. I also love how you used the poem, The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. It was very clever, with how it related to the story. And it was a nice way of setting it up as well.
Katie and Sadie are just too awesome. I love how we don’t know who is saying what in their discussion [but I feel like Katie is the first person talking, followed by Sadie]. It’s made even more hilarious when one of them says, “Well, everyone keeps saying that they can’t tell us apart. Like, hello, we’re totally different, but whatev.” I’m also curious about their life back at home. They say they’re hot and popular back home and I wonder if that’s true.
I hadn’t noticed too much in detail, but looking back [I’m rereading to refresh my memory along with cite examples better] there was a few instances of foreshadowing Geoff’s fate. The first is when Courtney states Geoff is flirting too much, and I felt it was weird, as I didn’t see this flirting. But it was to start instances of Geoff being shown as unreliable. I liked how it was done.
I wasn’t really expecting for one of the twins to get in such perilous condition. I liked the way it was described, both in the scientific detail and the way it was shown through the situation.
Also, what is going on with Eva? Well, I know but at the time I didn’t but I like her fear and the foreshadowing with it.
The cliffhanger for this chapter was sooooo crazy. With all this effort put in to make the twins just stand out and lovable characters, I can’t even fathom seeing them die. But Harold died so it could happen, especially since someone will die at Boney Island.
The dialogue here only adds to the suspense, but is still in character for them and so heartbreaking but sweet. So thank you Gideon, for giving some needed focus and development Katie and Sadie needed that hadn’t been delivered in canon or fanfiction [at least that I’ve read]. Best TD pairing? Heather x Staci. You know there were subtle hints in the canon! 23:10, June 27, 2013 (UTC)
- Now that you mention it, Courtney would probably make a good “straight man” (straight girl?) foil for many of the comic characters. Her (informed) scene with Izzy, though, illustrates how an ounce of suggestion can be worth a pound of description. (Not that I’m not willing to provide the pound—or more—of description when I think the situation calls for it.) The bare suggestion of Izzy talking too much works in this case because Izzy’s motor mouth trait had previously been well established with several long monologues. Speaking of Izzy-based comedy duos, Beth would probably also make a good foil of a different sort, albeit one who is much more tolerant of Izzy’s mind dumps.
- I’m not really sure where you got the idea that Heather doesn’t plan to follow her own “no romance” rule. The fact is, this may be the only alliance rule that she does intend to follow herself, because she fears the potential of romance to lead her astray in a competition situation. (And who knows? Her fear may end up being well-founded.) Her making eyes at Justin—a taken man, no less—is intended to illustrate just how powerfully distracting Justin is, as opposed to any duplicity on Heather’s part. (It’s not as if Heather lacks for other opportunities to show duplicity.)
- I think I’ve noted elsewhere that the Storyteller describes Heather negatively (“the Dark Queen” and suchlike) only when Heather is planning or doing something mean or underhanded. The rest of the time, Heather’s labels are value-neutral. TV Tropes has a trope for this.
- The fact that bawdy songs are often related to the sea may just stem from sailors traditionally being a *ahem* salty lot. As for the Muskies’ dinner, it’s true that porcupine is not commonly eaten to my knowledge, but the point is that it can be eaten in a pinch and is relatively easy to catch. The Muskies weren’t in a position to be picky.
- I planned the D.J.-Ezekiel conflict storyline fairly early on, as it’s an unusual take on a well-known canon element, i.e. Bunny. This storyline has the added benefit of giving D.J. more to do, which he badly needs at this point. In the first 10 chapters, D.J. is the least visible camper by a wide margin. In fact, he’s not all that far ahead of Alejandro, who isn’t even a contestant and has had only one big scene.
- Ezekiel, is prominent in part for the same reason that Katie and Sadie are prominent: they got so little legitimate development in the canon that fanfic writers have a lot of room to run with them. And while I freely admit that I’ve made major changes to Zeke’s character vis-à-vis his canon counterpart (for reasons I mentioned in the story’s notes), I’ve tried to keep Katie and Sadie close to their canon personalities. Speaking of the Wonder Twins, my take is that they are indeed considered hot and popular at their school—and just wait until their hometown peeps get a load of their new look. They don’t wield the kind of social power that Heather does, though, nor do they seem to want to.
- I’m glad you liked Noah’s recitation of “The Raven”. One of his (reimagined) character traits is that he knows a lot of poetry, as a side effect of his reading so much, and it really seemed to me like something that belongs in his “scary stories” repertoire. That said, the poetry seems to be one of LTDI’s most polarizing elements. An earlier poll was very evenly split between people who like the poems and people who tend to skip over them. I’ve never been all that much into poetry myself; but as I’ve noted elsewhere, I’m putting all these poems into LTDI for stylistic reasons.
- We’ve seen Geoff’s distractibility before, during the hot tub building and during the 20K run. I put those incidents in partly for character development, and partly because not showing this flaw until the episode where he gets eliminated (like the canon TDI did with a couple of the early outs) could have made it look too contrived. Geoff’s distractibility is also the basis for my choice of his theme song. (“If you want to save your soul from Hell, a-ridin’ on our range,/ Then, cowboy, change your ways today, or with us you will ride.”)
- Your reaction to Katie and Sadie’s peril illustrates a basic rule of storytelling and audience reactions, to wit: you have to care about characters before you’ll fear for them. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 19:45, July 4, 2013 (UTC)
- I must've misread or misundersood what Heather meant. My bad. As for DJ, yeah he's kind of a not very there character. I think it might be because he doesn't have as extreme a personality as a lot of the other characters. I think that's why I really like fanfiction, we can explore what hasn't and may never be explored.
- I think Katie and Sadie are very close to how they are in canon which is what so great; they're very like canon but still interesting. I for one like the poetry. And that's right, you did show more of Geoff's traits, and I agree showing the flaw during elimination does look to contrived, as it did in canon. Best TD pairing? Heather x Staci. You know there were subtle hints in the canon! 23:46, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
Tenth Night Discussion & Polls
Tenth Night Polls
Tenth Night Discussion
Holly crap, what an ending! Gideon you sir are a master of the cliffhanger! I'm glad to see that Katie is alive, despite the brain damage (which I know you put in there to fufill some deed to be seen). I also agree with the elimination of Geoff, it was bound to happen soon and Duncan is far too entertaining to be gotten rid of this early. Once again overall a masterful chapter and I look forward to learning of Ezekiel's fate! Space was here and he left something real special for ya! 23:41, March 3, 2013 (UTC)
Wow!! Great reimagining!! :D I'm loving how you write this, since it takes us back to the original show, and yet adds so much more to the story! :D And your Ninth Night cliffhangar was extreme, so I"m glad you resolved it so beautifully. I know you'll have more of Katie's hypothermia in upcoming chapters, but now I'm worried about Ezekiel's Phobia challenge! xDDD Darn you and your cliffhangers!! D8 xDD I can hardly wait for your next chapter. ;) Jay JLOMYou've got to be sure of yourself before you can ever win a prize. -Author Unknown 05:30, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
This chapter gave such a great resolution to the previous cliffhanger and a great start off to Phobia Factor!
Poor Tyler, I knew he couldn’t stay awake [I tried to vote in the polls, but they never work for me]. I like how Zeke was nice enough to wake up Tyler and promise not to say. And I laughed when he said no one wanted to hear another lecture.
And oh my goodness, Sadie not hearing a heartbeat has to be so crazy. I was soooo sad, but then of course Sadie starts thinking rationally and I’m thinking, ‘those are good points.’
I was literally cheering for Sadie in mind as she was trying to move. I how they are in serious danger, not liking they could’ve died and the story would be without the Wonder Twins, but how serious and realistic this peril feels.
And thank goodness Sadie heard a heartbeat.
I love the little dialogue between the Eagles as they awake. Lindsay, in particular was funny. I also like how you haven’t shown the fate of the Muskies. The way you’ve set up it builds some suspense and gives the feel of a race. Wish I could think of it like that.
Katie losing her bowel control was so funny but at the same time horrible! I really wasn’t expecting her to loss her bowl control though. I was glad to see another appearance of Alejandro, and just because it saved Sadie.
I also believe this is the first appearance of Cameron, or at least first time he is referred to by name. And the first appearance of Jo! I enjoyed the little intern scene; it was nice to see this. I suppose the mother talked with the interns as well.
Again, great use of having the challenge solved by wit and skills with the Eagles victory. The exchange between Heather and Courtney back at camp was good too. I’m wondering if these giant lampreys will show up. Perhaps at Boney Island?
As for Chris holding out the fates of Sadie and Katie, hilarious and genius. I can even see how that would be shown in the final episode. It feels so Chris too. And of course, they contestants argue over this and Chris twists the logic, hilarious.
When Chris said Katie had died I thought he was serious and I was freaking out! I was thinking ‘she made it all the way back for nothing!’ Thank goodness it was psych, a clever one.
As for Noah’s outburst, I found it funny coming from Noah. Just the extreme vulgarness but at the same time still some what wordy or at least not as modern.
I’m wondering what aftereffects Katie will have. It’s brought up so I can’t imagine it won’t come up. As for the Birthday surprise, I remember it from the teaser and it was really sweet, even sweeter knowing the events that happened the same day. Also, are those three candles meant to symbolize something or am I’m just reading too far into this?
I liked how you spiced about elimination this time, with just cutting to the bottom three. And I liked how you showed the bottom twos thought process on the matter. I particularly liked Duncan’s on how girls liked him.
I hate to see that Izzy’s plan failed, simply because Izzy and Beth are such a great alliance, at least to me.
As for Geoff leaving, it’s sad but Chris has a point, Duncan would cause more drama. As it said in the trivia, Geoff had no real set place but it worked best for him here. I’d agree with that, and I think it’s a good ending for him to go see Bridgette.
And as for the Warner Brothers claiming the rights to Happy Birthday, that’s pretty stupid. That detail does show the narrator maybe an unreliable narrator, and it makes me curious as to what will happen.
I love the ‘Ghost Of…’ joke, hilarious. I thought it was nice of the Eagles to try and show up, though I suspect some wanted to brag about their luck.
I like how the conversation about fear gets started with the contestants, feels a bit more natural than in the actual episode.
And I love how Izzy has a fight with Sunshine right there. Sunshine has to be one of my favorite jokes with Izzy. And then you add Ravi too. As for Eva, I actually feel bad for her. She’s afraid of the dark and she’s so ashamed. It’s really touching.
I also love how everyone keeps saying Courtney’s fear of Jell-O and she denies it. It’s too funny. I also like that little moment where Noah does the fake accent to impress Katie and it kind of works. Of course then he quips about DJ’s fears and she finds that rather harsh. Poor Noah.
I like the idea behind Zeke’s fear, perfect for a cliffhanger and knowing how we know this plays out, hilarious [does that count as irony?]. I also love how you give a reason for Noah to never use the confessional, having a fear of outhouses. I also like how you make it so he isn’t even ashamed.
Also, Eva’s reasoning behind the sundresses was rather nice in my opinion. I like it, it would make me a fan of Katie and Sadie.
So all in all, this was such a suspenseful but really enjoyable chapter! Best TD pairing? Heather x Staci. You know there were subtle hints in the canon! 05:53, June 28, 2013 (UTC)
- Having the reader mentally cheer Sadie on as she tried to get Katie back to camp is pretty much the reaction I was going for, so I’m glad to hear that it worked. As for Sadie thinking that all her effort was for nothing… well, I’d bet good money that most readers didn’t expect Sadie to be the one who would drop the story’s only f-bomb, but it just seemed to work there.
- I’m not entirely sure how Katie’s “death dump” would be seen as funny, though, even in a “gallows humor” sense. Or perhaps you thought it was funny before you realized what it actually meant? That’s as may be, I can see why you weren’t expecting it. It’s not the sort of detail that most fiction writers would see fit to mention, but I thought it appropriate for the scene because it seemed the best way to crush Sadie’s hope spot.
- Chris telling the campers that Katie had died wasn’t meant to surprise the reader, although if it did, that works too. Although I didn’t come right out and say it, I sort of implied that Katie was alive when Chris stopped by the infirmary. Chris telling the campers otherwise just for the sadistic joy of seeing their reactions was therefore meant to be a bit of dramatic irony, which is where the reader knows something that the characters don’t. (For this purpose, reading ahead doesn’t count.) As for Noah’s loss of control when Chris reveals the deception, that was mainly intended to show—however subtly—how much he’s into Katie, which is why only Cody truly understood his outburst. At this point, Noah cares for Katie more than he probably realizes. He minced words (“manhood” instead of a more earthy term) mainly to preserve the story’s PG-13 rating because I’ve already used my quota of high-octane profanity, and the fact that it fits Noah is a bonus.
- Cameron was originally described in the talent show episode, where he was the tour guide for the reward cruise, but the lodge scene is the first time that he is identified by name or has any lines. A later episode (much later, like the safari challenge) will explain why the Storyteller gives the interns as many mentions as she does.
- As for the ballsy maneuver the Eagles used to win the challenge, having nothing to lose is a very liberating thing.
- The other campers assumed that Sadie’s birthday wish would be to reach the finals with Katie. Chris and Chef, who knew more details about what the Wonder Twins had just been through, might have suspected that Sadie would wish for Katie to not have any aftereffects from her recent ordeal. Either way, Sadie’s failure to blow out all the candles on her first breath suggests that she should not expect to get her wish. The precise number of candles still burning has no special meaning, though.
- “Happy Birthday to You” is public domain in Canada, but is still (allegedly) copyrighted in the U.S. A few weeks ago, though, someone finally did go to court with a serious legal challenge to the copyright. We’ll see how that plays out. As for the Storyteller’s potential unreliability, I’ve mentioned elsewhere that it could plausibly explain why this mostly realistic reimagining retains some of the original show’s cartoonish elements, which provide much of the ritual exaggeration that we expect from legends.
- The phobia confession scene illustrates what you can do when you’re not constrained by 20-minute segments and a (more or less) weekly production schedules. This single scene runs almost 4,000 words. Some well-regarded stories (Total Drama Explosion, for one) have entire chapters that aren’t that long. I knew almost from the start that I didn’t want to stint on this scene, though, because it was such a great character development opportunity. As for the more natural flow in my version, that’s consistent with LTDI’s “behind the scenes” conceit. There is every possibility that this long “sharefest”, as Gwen described it in the original, might have ended up looking much like the canon scene after the editors got through with it.
- I don’t know if I’d call the Izzy/Sunshine/Ravi bit a “fight”, but Izzy’s imaginary friends do provide a lot of fodder for comic relief without making Izzy the full-on raving loony that she became in the later canon seasons. Speaking of Izzy, her claim that Courtney is afraid of her, and Noah’s deadpan response, “We’re all afraid of you, Izzy” is one of my favorite comic bits in the whole story. I also had a lot of fun writing the whole "I am not afraid of Jello!" running gag. It's certainly LTDI's most elaborate running gag to date, although "Sunshine told me" will probably reclaim the top spot before the story is done.
- I’ll admit that I’m not sure what you found funny about Ezekiel’s fear, even in retrospect. I’m guessing that you’re referring to Chris’ sadistic glee in crushing Cody’s wistful hope that the challenge wouldn’t be especially dangerous? Whatever, I’m glad you liked the chapter and I appreciate the detailed feedback. In addition to suggesting ways that I might improve the story going forward, your essays are a good springboard for me to expand on certain points of general interest. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:58, July 10, 2013 (UTC)
- I didn't think Sadie would drop the only F-bomb. As for the death dump, I guess I find it so funny because I wasn't expecting something that realistic [since that stuff never really happens in fiction like you said]. I did think that's what Chris meant in the infirmy but then I was thinking maybe the condtion wasn't good, as it wasn't specifically stated.
- I'm interested in seeing why the interns are so mentioned, so I can't wait to see the safari challenge. I thought the number might, perhaps symbolizing how long they have left together, but I'm still very worred for Sadie knowing the candles didn't work. I'm glad someone's doing something about that silly copyright. And I do think there are certain elements in the story that the storyteller makes up [like Sadie's candles for instance] that seem so improbable or foreshadowing it feels like stuff they add into catch Brett's attention.
- I like the detail you went into in this scene, like you said it was a great character development. I do think Sunshine works greatly for Izzy in comedy. And I can see why that is one of your favorite comedic bits. The comedy was really strong here. I can't remember what I meant by finding Zeke's fear funny now, though I may have meant it was funny rereading knowing how it goes. I'm glad my feedback is helpful, I can see it being annoying with having to explain things so much. Best TD pairing? Heather x Staci. You know there were subtle hints in the canon! 23:46, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
Though it's a bit shorter than I'd intended, here's my commentary on Nights 7-10:
I know that you’ve said before that Noah is probably the camper that you feel best resembles you at that age, so it’s no wonder that you have such a perfect grasp on his dry brand of humor. The line about the “Fu King master” was so subtly crass that I could definitely see it coming out of his mouth. On the topic of Noah, I’ve never been quite into the Noah/Katie pairing but I can see why you would have chosen it since it reminds you of your own similarities and differences with your wife. There’s nothing in your portrayal in particular that makes me dislike the pair (although the fact that Cody and Noah discuss Katie like she’s just some kind of object to apply fantasies to did get on my nerves, though they’re hormonal teenage guys and that seems to be how Cody sees every girl), it’s just that I headcanon Noah as gay and don’t really like the idea of Katie gaining a personality beyond Sadie just to become a love interest, but I’m sure as the story goes on I’ll warm up to it.
As for Trent’s elimination … well, good riddance to him. Even with all of the improvements you’ve made to secondary characters, there was no way to keep him from being bland. Even Gwen was unable to come up with any words to describe his personality beyond “nice,” which was a simple but great joke that you added in there. As you proved here, his relationship with Gwen didn't need half of season of lead up, since most of their chemistry was established in the Awake-a-thon.
One of my favorite interactions from TDI was the friendship between Leshawna and Gwen, so I’m really glad that it carried over into LTDI. I love it when people remember that Leshawna is one of the only characters who really seems to care about her teammates, so she was the perfect choice to comfort Gwen about Trent’s elimination.
The “Sunshine told me” in-joke that the campers have among themselves is probably one of my favorite things that popped up in these few chapters. It serves as something personal that bonds the campers without them even realizing that. I always like it when a team or a whole cast has moments where they seem like a group of friends or even a very dysfunctional family, because even though they’re in a competition they’re still stuck living with each other for a couple months. I think in-jokes are something that would develop among them, so I love all of the Sunshine references.
In the Notes, you mention that you had originally planned for Katie and Sadie to recite “Who’s on first?” but switched it out for the piano routine, which I think was definitely a good choice. If I were to read a scene of them doing “who’s on first,” I would’ve thought it was funny because I recognized the joke, but somebody who has never heard of it might not have gotten the humor. It’s something that really benefits from being seen or heard than reading on paper, so I think it might’ve ended up falling a little flat. At least the four-handed piano gives a fun mental picture. On the topic of talents, I’m really glad to see that you thought to have Izzy and Beth twirl the fire batons together. I always thought it was odd that both girls were able to do the same obscure talent but the show never even mentioned it. When Beth showed the same talent that Izzy displayed in her audition, I figured they’d use it for something.
As the Storyteller said, Bridgette’s elimination honestly did seem like it was for the better, since she was just a bit too pure for the chaos of the competition. I’m glad to see her get off the island safely before something bad could happen to her.
I really like that you kept Sadie’s fear of bad haircuts intact when she was dealing with Lindsay’s singed hair. Her fear was kind of an odd choice on the show, but at least this shows that she’s genuinely terrified of them. Another thing that I liked in the haircut scene is that Katie and Sadie were shown to actually have talent in doing hair but chose to keep theirs in the childish pigtails. It just reinforced the fact that looking like children is their choice and not because they’re totally clueless. That being said, I really didn’t like that the clones gave themselves makeovers too and kept them. Though I doubt it’s what you intended, making them look a bit older feels to me like you’re just making the Katie/Noah relationship seem a little more reasonable (because she looks less like a kid). I think I personally would’ve preferred to see them go on in their normal ridiculous outfits, but that’s just my opinion. As for Lindsay’s makeover, I’m sure that this must foreshadow a demeanor change for her in the future. We all know that she called out Heather in the canon, but this never changed her innocence, so I can only wonder if this new earthier look is hinting towards a new, more mature Lindsay.
This might come off as a crackpot theory, but I can’t help but hope that the secret love letters are actually from Harold to a beautiful girl, which would mean that he is still alive somewhere on the island. The notes were his doing on the show, after all, and I think he would definitely have some knowledge of poetry considering he’s such a walking encyclopedia. While old English love sonnets might be a cheesy way of showing affection, I think they’d something that would be right up his alley. Gwen suspects Noah, but I’m thinking that, while the shoe fits, he might be a bit of a red herring.
I’ve said before that I love the way that you write Katie and Sadie as true Siamese campers, but I especially love that sometimes you don’t even bother identifying who says what and tag dialogue as “one of them said ” since it really doesn’t matter who said what since they practically share a brain. Now onto what I think is now the infamous hypothermia scene (which I only call infamous because it was definitely Sadie’s breakout moment.) The thing that makes Katie and Sadie likable is their unbreakable bond and loyalty towards each other, so while this scene was obviously thrown in for dramatics, it was actually believable that Sadie would be so motivated to save her other half. People are driven to do amazing things for people they love (even platonically), and seeing Sadie go to such lengths just to keep Katie alive just proved just how important their friendship is to her. They truly do have a “double or nothing” relationship, and the fact that this drove Sadie to almost sacrifice herself for Katie was just really amazing to read. You’ve always had a talent for writing dramatic scenes, so Sadie’s battle against Katie’s hypothermia read beautifully. You knew just when to break it off to leave the readers in suspense as you described what the teams were doing, which painted Sadie’s experience as an epic struggle and really lived up to the “legendary” aspect of the story.
(I feel bad for mentioning humor while discussing such a serious moment, but when Chris gives a spiel about Katie dying but not staying dead, I could help but be reminded of the “difference between mostly dead and all dead” lecture that Miracle Max gives in The Princess Bride.)
I’m a bit sad to see Geoff go since he’s one of my favorites from the show and I was looking forward to see what you would do with him, but I guess it was best that he left instead of a camper who had a significant plotline. It makes a lot of sense that Courtney would want him voted off to help her team, but I can’t help but feel that he didn’t really do anything significant in this episode to warrant his elimination other than flirt with Izzy.
As always, the story was a pleasure to read, and as soon as the camping challenge came up I was eagerly awaiting the hypothermia scene. It was one of those moments that just stuck with me from the first read through, and I think it's one moment where your writing is at its best. There's angels in the airwaves tonight, and I need you to stay. 17:45, August 9, 2014 (UTC)
- Had I stuck with the “Who’s on First?” routine for Katie and Sadie’s act, I would have included an embedded video and quoted relatively little of the routine. As I mentioned in the notes, I think this routine is just like them, but I later decided that playing piano four hands is even more like them.
- If it makes you feel better, the reasons why Katie and Sadie kept their new look have nothing to do with Noah. (Besides, the new look shows a lot less skin and deemphasizes the breasts.) The new look symbolizes a setting-induced loss of innocence (such as was starting to happen to Bridgette) and a change in their roles. Before the makeovers, they were mainly comic characters. After the makeovers, they retained comic traits but began to shift to a more dramatic role. What happened straightaway after their makeovers? Sadie’s Ordeal, a.k.a. the hypothermia scene. The makeovers also came just two days before Sadie’s 16th birthday.
- Speaking of the hypothermia scene, I was also thinking of The Princess Bride when Chris explained the difference between clinically dead (i.e. mostly dead) and legally dead (i.e. all dead), and “Only Mostly Dead” is on LTDI’s tropes page, so you needn’t feel guilty. It’s yet another case of our thinking alike.
- Geoff’s distractibility was mentioned in two previous challenges (the hot tub building and the 20K run) and was commented on by other campers both times. Part of the reason for that was so his elimination for failing to keep his head in the game wouldn’t come out of nowhere. No, his slacking during the camping challenge probably wouldn’t have been enough to get him eliminated if that had been the only incident, but it might have been “strike three” as far as Courtney was concerned.
- I’m glad to hear that you find my story memorable. From what I’ve heard, Sadie’s Ordeal might well become LTDI’s iconic scene, much like the first torture scene did for Life After Lies. It certainly cemented Sadie’s status. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 14:29, August 11, 2014 (UTC)
Eleventh Night Discussion & Polls
Eleventh Night Polls
Eleventh Night Discussion
Gid, you evil genius you, you've left me at a standstill. Katie and Gwen are allies and you're piting them against eachother in this life and death situation. I truly do hope Ezekiel finds a way to save both of them in time, but I guess only you know what happens. For now I'll bide my time and wait for Twelfth Night, and I await it with anxiety. Space was here and he left something real special for ya! 23:37, May 5, 2013 (UTC)
- Ever since the talent show, it's been all downhill for Katie, hasn't it? At this rate, she's liable to end up scarred for life--if she doesn't end up like Harold first. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:58, May 6, 2013 (UTC)
- No, Brett has five-day school weeks, which I understand is the Canadian standard. The Fourth Night and Fifth Night chapters also had "weekend" openings, as will Twelfth Night. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:50, May 8, 2013 (UTC)
Well, that's a lot of pressure on Ezekiel. Seems like a shorter chapter than usual, probably because it had only two segments. I loved the line where Ezekiel wonders if he died from the cliff jump and if this is Hell. I don't know why, but that line just seemed really fitting. I'm gonna stay at home by myself and masterbaking cake 21:02, May 7, 2013 (UTC)
- Apart from the prologue, Eleventh Night is indeed the shortest chapter yet, at "only" about 6500 words. (A couple of others are around 7000 words, but most are in the 10-12K range.) I mentioned in my subscriber alerts that the chapter was relatively short, but you're not on my subscriber list and so you quite literally didn't get the memo. On a related note, I've mentioned before that the cliffhanger placement, more than anything else, is what determines chapter length. I almost didn't use the the Ezekiel cliffhanger because I thought it might make the chapter too short. I had another good cliffhanger candidate later in the challenge, which would have added another thousand words or so to the chapter length; but the Ezekiel cliffhanger is dramatically stronger, so I wanted to use it if I could. I got the chapter up to a good length, in part, by moving up Noah's and Eva's follow-up scenes. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:50, May 8, 2013 (UTC)
This was a shorter chapter, but still a really great one.
I love how kind of recapping the events of the previous night you also set up a good joke about Chef’s cooking. Oh, I can’t wait to see what Courtney has to do. You’ve used the canon fears but not in the exact same way as in the canon, so I’m curious to see if she’ll have to jump into the green Jell-O.
Oh course Chris is sadistic enough to have the chest for Beth’s challenge look like a coffin. I remember in canon Beth faced her fear and it seemed like nothing for her, so I like the extremity of her reaction, heaving.
I predicted LeShawna wouldn’t complete her fear. I did laugh out loud when LeShawna yells at a knocked out Heather about failing her fear. I was surprised to see Owen back as the sumo, but it worked and her fear of sumos being due to a dislike of obesity makes sense. I’m also surprised Owen didn’t say anything, though I’m kind of glad he didn’t.
I loved the Pixie Chicks cameo here, truly clever. And that’s actually a very interesting way of measuring a pun. And Eva was very hilarious with her line. I think Eva could be a very funny character, if some effort was put in to her. And I agree with Izzy, Sunshine needs that kiss!
I didn’t realize it, but Katie and Gwen having the same fear was probably a hint Zeke would have to save them. I’m glad that Gwen had the company, and I’m wondering if the two will form a friendship or closer bond from this, already kind of being allies after the Trent incident.
Eva’s very real fear I’m really enjoying, it just makes a more three dimensional character. Yes she’s a real tough person but even she has a fear. And I love Chris’ sadistic twist, having the battery go out. And I’m with Tyler; she won’t let them down.
I didn’t think about that, but Chris does value hair care so he even finds Sadie and Lindsay’s punishment cruel. And go Lindsay, being smart with the idea of using hair extensions.
My guess is that Izzy and Justin will go to the plane with Chef Hatchet cross-dressing as the air flight attendant and Justin will have to kiss Chef.
I liked DJ’s pep-talk and I really thought Ty would conquer it. I wasn’t expecting a fighting cock, but that’s great. You really play Chris’ sadistic nature well without making him to unlikable.
The comparison of the snake and DJ was pretty clever, as was DJ figuring out about the snake. Poor DJ, all the animals around just see to keep dying or getting in painful situations. Eva was pretty clever too with her strategy of rationing light.
I didn’t know bank’s used paint bombs like that, is there a way to clean the paint from the money? It feels like it’d be a waste of money to catch robbers instead of using another method, in my opinion.
Man, that was a really clever fear for Zeke and I really don’t know whom he’ll pick. If my only two choices were to pick Katie or Gwen [meaning I could not pick do nothing] I guess I would go with Katie, simply because she has a best friend and almost died already. But that’s just me.
Well this was a really funny chapter I think, with so good character in there as well. I’m so excited to see who Zeke saves, if he saves anyone. Best TD pairing? Heather x Staci. You know there were subtle hints in the canon! 02:15, June 29, 2013 (UTC)
- As I mentioned in the Notes, the reason why the canon Beth thought nothing of her test is because the canon trial didn’t really test her phobia. Mine did. Although having the chest look like a coffin helped make Beth’s test a little nastier, the real reason for the resemblance was to reduce the number of spiders needed for full coverage. As for Leshawna’s failure, you may have been remembering it as much as predicting it, because it was in a preview scene.
- I don’t think it’s giving away too much to say that Owen won’t be the last ex-camper to cameo as a challenge assistant. My take on his not speaking is that he was probably under orders to not say anything articulate, because speaking would make him seem more familiar to Heather (who, you may recall, once admitted that she thinks Owen’s “nice”) and so might have made her test easier. It’s just not like Chris to give a camper breaks like that.
- It’s an old adage that a pun’s worth is measured by groans rather than laughs. Indeed, a collective groan is often the response that an incorrigible punslinger is going for, so don’t incorrige him. I just hope I get to hear about Sunshine’s reaction to that scene one of these days.
- I’m glad to hear that somebody didn’t automatically guess that Gwen and Katie would end up being the victims that Ezekiel would have to choose between. As per the Notes, the whole reason I threw in the Zeke/Justin/Izzy red herring was because I thought that burying Gwen and Katie together was a virtual giveaway. Ironic, that, because Ezekiel originally wasn’t even going to be in that scene at all. I thought up Katie’s phobia before I thought up Ezekiel’s, so for a time Gwen and Katie were just going to lie in their “graves” for a while without any particular danger to life and limb.
- In that early draft, Cody was going to stay with Gwen, much as Trent did in the original, and Chris was going to pull Cody away for his own test without giving him a chance to warn Gwen (again, much as with Trent in the original) which would have led to Gwen being mad at Cody. He would have tried to explain the situation, but I don’t know if Gwen would have believed him—the scene sketch never got that far before I came up with a phobia for Ezekiel, which took the burial scene in a different direction.
- For the record, Gwen and Katie (and Sadie, presumably, since she wasn’t likely to reject Gwen’s terms after Katie accepted them) became sort-of allies after the Diary Incident, not the Trent Incident. Although Gwen has only had “screen” time with Katie so far, she might have scenes with Sadie down the road.
- Making Justin kiss Chef in drag is a good idea, and one that I might well have used if I hadn’t already had other plans. It’s the sort of thing that I can see the actual show doing. As for Lindsay and Sadie’s tests, it was Heather who pronounced it cruel. (She does, after all, regard beauty as Serious Business.) Chris may well have thought so, too, although it wasn’t stated, or he may have simply thought it would be a hard test with a photogenic way to measure success or failure. As for Lindsay’s idea to use extensions, the fact that extensions were available in the first place was an intentional loophole, offering an easy (easier, anyway) way out if the girls were clever enough to spot it, and giving Chris a chance to gloat if they weren’t. At all events, this was another case where I didn’t think the canon trial tested the phobia as well as it could have.
- Regarding the paint bomb, having a way to clean it off the money would defeat the purpose. The idea behind it is that (1) it makes the robbers easier to identify, since they tend to be in close proximity to the bomb when it goes off; and (2) even if they get away, they’ll raise all sorts of red flags if they try to spend the money, so it will have all been for nothing. And no, it’s not really a waste of money if you keep in mind that the bills are really just fancy paper and the government can always print more. If the money is recovered, the bank would just exchange it for fresh bills at the nation’s central bank. (That would be a Federal Reserve Bank in the U.S. I don’t know what the Canadians call their version.) Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:11, July 12, 2013 (UTC)
- I usually think of bugs in very general terms, so I could see her being afraid of worms, but I think spiders work better. And my guess was that Owen couldn't talk, and I'm excited to see who also cameos. I hope you get to hear from Sunshine sometime, I loved to here her reaction to that.
- I think the final version worked better than the original draft for Gwen's challenge. And it was the Diary Incident that Katie talked to Gwen not Trent, my bad. The Beth version worked better plot-wise, although I agree Justin kissing Chef in drag seems like something they would do in can. It was implied that Chris thought Lindsay and Sadie's test was cruel, and I thought that would make sense. And I do like the clever ways Chris sets things up to test intelligence.
- I can see they would exchange the bills for money, but isn't there some rule about it takes so much money to make money, so it would cost more to replacce it or perhaps I'm just confused is all. Best TD pairing? Heather x Staci. You know there were subtle hints in the canon! 23:46, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
- No, it doesn't really cost much to print paper money--only about 6.4 cents per bill. It's basically just paper and ink, albeit specialty paper and ink. Besides, the number of bills lost in foiling bank robberies is microscopic compared to the total supply. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:46, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
I just finished the first half of the Eleventh Night, and I just love the way your writing flows. I can tell I'm getting into a story when I forget I'm reading it, and instead become part of the story...like a camera-person instead. I'll leave a longer comment when I've finished this chapter. :) Jay JLOM Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man; -Author Unknown 06:42, July 2, 2013 (UTC)
Dude!! Cliffhanger much? These challenges are awesomely written!! Very believeable in the TDI-esque world, and SO much fun to read!! xD I'm ready to read your 12th Night now, which is already up. ;) And DJ apparently conquered that snake phobia mostly, since snakes can't bite with a full mouth, but can still writhe enough to scratch and coil. :) JustLittleOlMe Lil Jay JLOM Jay-Z Jay-cobb Jayneneh Lady Gideon ~Jay JLOM Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man; -Author Unknown 01:09, July 19, 2013 (UTC)
Twelfth Night Discussion & Polls
Twelfth Night Polls
Twelfth Night Discussion
Can you make an elimination chart? PWEEEEAAASE!
- The elimination table has its own subpage to reduce the potential for late arrival spoilers. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 05:43, July 1, 2013 (UTC)
Once again I'm left wondering at to what the fae of our oh so unfortunate campers is, but once again a great chapter Gid! I knew that Katie would have a mental reprecussion and I knew that Gwen and Katie would both be saved. The realism in this story is awesome and I'm definitely wondering who's going to bite the dust because I remember you saying someone isn't going to make it off Boney Island alive. If I have one complaint it's DJ still not being over Ezekiel killing what would've been his pet bunny, I just can't see DJ as holding a massive grudge over it. But esides that I'm loving Ezekiel, Courtney, and Noah who are my three favorite characters. Oh and I really approve of the elimination choice, it really was Justin's time to go as he really wasn't offering the story much in the way of character. If I had to guess who's going to die I'd say it'll be DJ, Beth, Leshawna, or maybe even Tyler as they haven't had as much of a presence as most of the other characters in the story. But right now all I can say is that I hope it's not Ezekiel and that I'm looking forward to the next chapter! In the words of the great Alan Rickman, "I have never been able to plan my life. I just lurch from indecision to indecision." 22:04, July 2, 2013 (UTC)
- I'm sorry to hear that you don't like D.J.'s grudge, because it's going to be a storyline of some importance. (And, yeah, I guess I just spoiled the fact that neither D.J. nor Ezekiel buys it on Boney Island. Not on this trip, anyway...) The main purpose of this storyline is to reveal and develop a character flaw in D.J., to wit: for all his admirable qualities, the reimagined D.J.'s priorities are a little disordered. Think PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), which is known for, among other things, its belief that human life is not inherently more precious than animal life.
- As for Justin, his storyline was pretty much played out. Although he was never a filler character to the degree that Geoff was, at his core he remained a one-joke character, much like his canon counterpart. And although Justin got to do far more in LTDI than in the original, his main dramatic function was to be someone's love interest, much like the canon Trent. Even Justin's elimination wasn't really about him--it was about Heather, showing her ability to make tough strategic choices that she isn't necessarily happy with. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:39, July 3, 2013 (UTC)
My twelfth might comment is here, and at least earlier than the previous ones.
I liked how Gwen decides to start making bribes based on the story of The Golden Apples. I loved the recap of the myth, it was very detailed. The bribes escalated quickly, and I really wasn't expecting Katie to offer that up. I guess I was wrong about him choosing Katie, though I liked the logic behind it.
I get Cody's mind wandering, I do that all the time when I shouldn't be. I feel like I should've realized Cody would go to save Gwen. Even Chris suspected Cody would come, that makes sense. It's disappointing we didn't get to see the explosion, but I suppose will see more in due time.
I guess I was wrong about Justin kissing Chef Hatchet. Poor Izzy on the plane. And another person defecates in their clothes, I wonder if this is gonna happen again [probably the horror challenge if I had to guess].
Thank goodness both Katie and Gwen were saved, though I suspected they would due to the death next challenge. I'm curious if this experience will strength their relationship. And yay Eva! I'm enjoying this brawn and brains this character has.
And yay Noah, Lindsay and Sadie for completing their challenge as well. Ezekiel didn't complete his fear here, but I predict he may have to deal with Sophie's choice again in the future, and this time not orchestrated by Chris.
And wow, Katie is a really good person, saying should would've gone through with it. I'm interested to see where Gwen's debt to Cody will go.
I'd be furious at Justin for saying that as well. Poor Beth, I feel awful for the gal. I do find it kinda funny because Beth and Justin is a somewhat popular pairing in fandom.
And now Courtney's trial is revealed, and I gotta say I like it! Very clever, and better than diving head into the Jell-O like canon. And I like how she is asleep and they have to eat her out of it [though not really, but it was a nice twist].
As for Chris' speech about the tiebreaker, I like if you can't tell if he made it up or had it planned. And yay Courtney for winning the challenge! She get an M.V.P award or something. I'm also interested to see how the wetsuit will play in.
Well, I'm glad Justin's going after his comment. I also suppose that if it had to be someone, Justin is the best bet. He's just not the most interesting person, especially in canon standards.
I liked the way the decisions behind it were played. First a confessional, then the results, and then another confessional. I do think Lindsay's vote may bite her in the butt sometime down the road. After all, she was just tempting fate to in her confessional.
Duncan makes a good point, they really wouldn't let such meat go to waste. They probably feed it to the beavers on Boney Island if it wasn't in the stew.
The Boney Island challenge is here! I know someone is going to die, and I'm trying to figure out who. I feel like it would be an Eagle since the Muskies lost Harold, and a girl since so many boys have left. My initial fear was that it was one of the wonder twins, but after all the torture they've had, especially Katie, I somewhat doubt it.
My guess might be Leshawna, as she did speak French in this episode, which was why she had to be part french, though just for a rowing song seems rather vague. If that was why she had to speak French, then I can believably see her dying.
There are hints that Lindsay will rebel against Heather, so I don't think either will die. If Gwen died it would be kind of funny given your one-shot, Legacy. Another guess I would make might be Cody based on how the canoeing interaction. Would give Gwen horrible guilt for rejecting him. I guess we'll have to wait...
Poor Katie, it so awful. I can't help but feel like her short-term memory will cause some big mistake, perhaps causing her to forget who she was going to vote for and messing up an elimination.
Of course there is a curse that whoever dies there will never be able to rest in piece. I'm going to cry when someone does die, I just know it.
Leshawna and Noah as canoeing partners is a great and hilarious idea. Most of the pairs are pretty likable. I feel really bad for Cody when he is rejected, this just won't end well.
And now we get the cliffhanger happening right before we see the Wooly Beavers. My guess is they're eating something [or someone] there. Like I said, I'm going to cry when someone dies.
This chapter was really good, I loved seeing more of the fear trials, the elimination was great and the humor was very funny all trough out, as usual. I can't wait to see how this goes! Best TD pairing? Heather x Staci. You know there were subtle hints in the canon! 21:22, July 7, 2013 (UTC)
- It’s possible that you might see somebody else soiling themselves if a relevant situation arises, but it’s more likely to merely be discussed. I can assure you that it’s not going to become any sort of running gag. The fact that people crapped their pants in back to back episodes was a coincidence.
- Chris’ reactions to the challenge solutions of D.J. and Eva, for example, illustrate what may be LTDI Chris’ most endearing trait: he respects thinking outside the box. Some fanfic versions of Chris might get upset if a contestant found an unorthodox way to make a challenge easier than intended, and the canon Chris would probably let it slide because he simply doesn’t care, but LTDI Chris seems to genuinely enjoy seeing the campers come up with innovative solutions.
- As for Cody’s test, you didn’t miss much by not seeing the explosion. It wasn’t meant to be all that impressive. Fear not, though, there will be some spectacular explosions in later episodes.
- I listed Justin as a “flat character” on the TV Tropes page because, much as in the original, he was really just there for the girls to drool over. He did get a few good scenes—enough to make him more than just filler—thanks largely to being Lindsay’s love interest, but I never had big plans for him. Much like Tyler in the original, his only real storyline was being Lindsay’s love interest, and it’s an interesting coincidence that he got canned in the same episode as the canon Tyler. At least LTDI Justin got to talk normally.
- Leshawna speaking French (mainly naughty French) is just for a bit of color, and was never a requirement for the story. The reason she’s Quebecois is because a later chapter mentions a certain (real life) business establishment in Montreal, and the scene requires that one of the campers be familiar with it.
- Poor Katie, indeed. Ever since she had to abase herself before Gwen, it’s been one thing after another for her, hasn’t it? And I don’t think it’s giving away too much to say that her misfortunes aren’t done yet. As for Katie’s memory impairment, it gives me a way to work in something that I forgot to mention in the challenge briefing, which is nice because I won’t have to go back and revise the scene. The curious thing, though, is that most of her trauma conga line wasn’t planned in advance. It just sort of happened because of the way various scenes developed. The ancient Spartans used to say, “That which does not destroy us, strengthens us,” and that may be Katie’s best hope at this point.
- As for Gwen’s rejection of Cody, about 10 days after posting the chapter I thought of a poem that fit the scene, so I’ve added it to the scene and identified it in the Notes. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 04:47, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
- That might be why I really like LTDI Chris, or one of the big reasons. Justin is a flat character here, but I suppose he was really important to a point [and I didn't even notice him and Tyler going at the same time]. So I guess that means LeShawna's safe from dying at Boney Island since she is still needed. And it has been one thing after another. I really hope Katie doesn't have to do too much more suffering.
- And I really like the new poem, it really fit the scene between Cody and Gwen, and the references to water while they're canoning is also wonderful. Best TD pairing? Heather x Staci. You know there were subtle hints in the canon! 23:46, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
What's this now? A surname for the son of our narrator? I'm not sure how this is a clue to his mother, but I'm sure it can be somehow. I'm gonna stay at home by myself and masterbaking cake 05:57, July 10, 2013 (UTC)
- I can certainly understand why you might think that, but no. The specific surname (which was originally not going to be revealed until the epilogue) is merely that of the friend whom I named the narrator's son after. It has no bearing on the Storyteller's identity. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 14:30, July 10, 2013 (UTC)
I just finished the first third of your twelfth night. Very cartoony, adult, funny and horrifying all at the same time. Thank you for writing this, and great job keeping us on the edges of our seats! xD Jay JLOM Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man; -Author Unknown 15:39, July 25, 2013 (UTC)
sorry but i dont understand, this isnt entertaining to read personally i dont think the author grasped the concept that total drama is supposed to be a comedy. i get that its a re imagining but its just too precise and complicated and feels very condescending when the author has to go into detail to explain jokes. most of the characters seem out of character, i dont understand why sadie would have known that when katie pooped herself she was dying. i dont think sadie is smart enough to know that considering thats not a common fact. also i read the tv tropes page and it seemed like the author was taking too much pride in his work and how "detailed" he made the characters when really he just took them in an entirely new path. just my opinion and personal critique of the ff, not very enjoyable and i wouldnt recommend it. --Demon Guy (talk) 05:57, August 12, 2013 (UTC)
- Demon Guy, I’ll be candid. I happen to know that you like to troll people, and your commentary includes several yellow flags that say, “possible troll review”, so you’ll understand if I’m suspicious. That’s as may be, you did raise some points of general interest, so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.
- Yes, Total Drama is a comedy, just like you said. What’s your point? There’s no rule nor convention nor even reasonable expectation requiring either fanfics or reimaginings of a comic work to be comic themselves. Indeed, demonstrating how familiar scenes can be made very different merely by playing them for drama instead of laughs (or vice versa) is one of LTDI’s central conceits, and I make no apologies for it. Since you don’t seem willing to accept that, I’m guessing that you didn’t like Legacy, either.
- You claim that LTDI is “too precise” (whatever that means) and complicated. I’m not sure what you’re trying to say here; but if I had to guess, I’d say that you apparently don’t like my richly descriptive style. There’s nothing wrong with that—not everyone likes a lot of description, and there’s no disputing taste—but you need to understand that an author is not responsible for tastes that differ from what he wishes to indulge. In the case of LTDI, it’s called a legend because I choose to tell it like a legend. You can take that or leave it.
- As for your complaint that most of the characters seem out of character, can you be more specific about what seems OOC to you? After all, simply saying “they’re out of character” with no elaboration is not helpful and invites people to dismiss your complaint—especially since that complaint appears to be very much a minority opinion, if the feedback I’ve gotten is any indication. It’s true that most of the characters are more multidimensional that they appear in the original, but that’s because of the Storyteller’s insider perspective. She knows the differences between how these people actually behaved and how they were made to look in the finished episodes. That “behind the scenes” perspective is another of LTDI’s central conceits that you seem unwilling to accept.
- Bottom line, if you choose to reject the story’s whole premise (as seems to be the case), that’s your affair, but you need to recognize that for what it is: a taste-based choice that does not, in and of itself, say anything about the story’s quality. And I must say that, for someone who finds LTDI “not very enjoyable” and claims that it “isn’t entertaining”, you’ve sure stuck with it for a long time—the only specific incident you mentioned was from the Tenth Night chapter—unless you just dropped in on a random chapter.
- As for explaining the jokes and allusions, I would have preferred not having to do that, but the fact is that a fair portion of the readership probably won’t understand them if I don’t. It’s especially problematic if the reader doesn’t happen to live in the U.S. or Canada. There’s also the fact that I come from an earlier generation than most of my readers, so many of my pop cultural reference points are different. Since millenials often don’t understand pop culture references dating from before they were born, annotating these references is not condescension. Indeed, your suggestion that I “didn’t grasp the concept that Total Drama is supposed to be a comedy” is far more condescending than anything you’ve accused me of doing. (That, incidentally, is one of the reasons why I suspect that your commentary was a troll review, intended to offend merely for the sake of offending.) If it makes you feel better, I don’t explain a joke or allusion in-story unless it’s a plot point or unless doing so enhances the “legendary” storytelling style.
- On whether Sadie is “smart enough” to recognize Katie’s death dump for what it was, intelligence and knowledge are different things. Besides, the pseudo-canonical text bios on the show’s website say that Sadie is the one who thinks with her head (whereas Katie thinks with her heart), suggesting that Sadie is supposed to be reasonably smart.
- As for the story’s TV Tropes page, it sounds you’re assuming too much at best or seeing what you want to see at worst. Just because some characters have a lot of alternate characterization tropes doesn’t necessarily mean that their characterizations are all that different from the original, given that a single scene can have a dozen tropes or more. Not only that, but some of the tropes I list are present in the original, and are merely played differently. Furthermore, I don’t seek to include certain tropes merely because I’ve learned that the trope exists. Instead, I go to TV Tropes after the fact to find out what tropes happen to be present in my story. I will admit that a few tropes pages (most notably the now-defunct “naughty tentacles”) have given me ideas for scenes, but it’s a rare occurrence.
- And yes, I’m proud of my story, and why shouldn’t I be? I’ve put a lot of work into it and reader response has been overwhelmingly positive. How much pride is “too much”? I certainly haven’t been too proud to take ideas from reader feedback, most notably Bridgette's dream sequence in Fourth Night. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:59, August 20, 2013 (UTC)
Darn your cliffhangers!! xD I adore how Justin left the island, and I'm glad Lindsay got her farewell kiss. All of these phobia challenges were beautifully written, although I'd love for your footnotes to remind us of what each person's challenge was. Easier to answer the polls that way. ;) I'm glad no one was irreversibly scarred, although I wish Cody could have finished his challenge. Completely understandable why he didn't, tho, and you had a wonderful explanation as to his issues. I'm really looking forward to LeShawna and Gwen finding their leadership qualities, and also what Boney Island has to offer. Also, Lindsay's butchering of names multiple times in the same paragraph was priceless!! :D Looking forward to more! Jay JLOM But soon or late the man who wins is the man who thinks he can. -Author Unknown 00:51, August 30, 2013 (UTC)
Thirteenth Night Discussion & Polls
Thirteenth Night Polls
Thirteenth Night Discussion
See, I told you guys that someone would die on Boney Island. I never said it would be a contestant. In fact, I was very careful to avoid implying that it would be a contestant. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 06:35, September 3, 2013 (UTC)
Ok first of all... ya got me. I was almost in shock when I though Heather was gonna be the one to go. I had so many speculations floating around in my head and it was Jo and Lightning the whole time.
Secondly, great work once again Gid! This chapter was wonderfully paced through and through. The suspense killed me and the comedy still hit when it needed to. I'm very interested to see how you handle the cursed idol plot, as I've mentioned before I despised that plot in canon so I'm hoping you can make it great. Plus Katie's short term memory loss strikes in a big way for the first time. Oh and Heather's deception was great in this chapter, good to see her doing something cunning. I can't wait to see what else she may forget along the way. That love letter is getting to be mysterious, you're clearly pointing the finger at Noah which almost makes me doubt it's him. Plus the letters depict Katie but they could also be used to describe Sadie so I'm finding difficulty in pointing out who is the lucky lady. This battle between Heather and Courtney is also VERY interesting, I'm personally rooting for Courtney but it could go either way. This next elimination promises to be a great one.
In terms of the characters I enjoyed everyone all around in this chapter. I'd still say my favorite is Ezekiel as he brings a positive presence and sense of morality to an otherwise bleak and somewhat deppresing atmosphere at the current time. I was hopping to see a bit more snark and wit from Gwen or Noah but I suppose it didn't fit with this chapter's overall tone. Izzy being insane and setting off basically an explosion was probably the highlight and she was the most amusing part of the chapter. Everyone else filled their roles as they normally do but I would've liked to see a bit more from the less focused upon characters such as Tyler or DJ. Overall though a great offering and you've got me on the edge of my seat waiting for the next chapter! Space was here some time ago and he wrote stuff. 19:28, September 3, 2013 (UTC)
- You seem to have had plenty of company in assuming that a contestant would buy it. While I’m sure some readers suspected that it would be an intern—especially since a couple of redshirts have gotten a fair amount of play—I don’t recall actually hearing anyone suggest that possibility.
- As you seem to have noticed, this was much less of an ensemble chapter than is typical of this story. In fact, I’m not sure if any of the previous 12 chapters focused on so few characters. The main reason, I suspect, is that this was a shorter chapter covering relatively few events—half an episode, at best. In fact, this whole chapter could just as easily have been called, “Heather’s Stratagem”. Not only that, but the events in question didn’t have the “everyone gets their turn” character of the events (dodgeball match, camping trip switching focus twixt three separate groups, phobia challenge) in the previous short chapters. Although Katie and Sadie did each get a big scene (not even together, remarkably) and Courtney was fairly prominent, Thirteenth Night was pretty much The Heather & Izzy Show, with Heather delivering the drama and Izzy the comedy.
- Another possible factor in the narrow focus is that the chapter was, quite frankly, a bit rushed. I wrote almost half of it in just the last weekend before posting, so there wasn’t much time for refinement. By contrast, the chapter’s only true ensemble scene (the discovery of Jo’s body) was written nearly a year ago.
- I’ve corrected some oversights by adding tidbits on the allegedly cursed idol and the paddle battle to the Notes section. I’ll admit that I haven’t yet decided whether the curse will be real. So far I’ve purposely left that ambiguous, just as the original did. If I do decide to make it real, Katie and/or the Eagles might end up getting help from a certain intern who is scheduled to make an unrelated appearance in a few episodes. I am referring, of course, to Dawn.
- As for the love note, you may (or may not—it was several months ago) have noticed that Courtney’s musings upon finding the note matched almost word for word Gwen’s musings upon finding the earlier note, with the differences stemming mainly from differences in the poems themselves. This was by design. I don’t think it’s giving away too much to say that Gwen and Courtney will eventually find a note together and will then launch an investigation, much as Gwen and Bridgette did in the original. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:55, September 6, 2013 (UTC)
Okay, I admit it, I was suckered! That's probably clear from the guessing game I've had in previous comments. I thought perhaps I had read it wouldn't be an intern, but maybe I just made that up in my head. Either way I was definitely sad at the death of Jo.
It was a really great scene. It gave me a really good mental image with a lot of the detail, even if it was grotesque. I also like everyone's dialogue around it, Izzy's mild reactions, Courtney analyzing and making conclusions, the way Eva mentioned it didn't take her heart and she would've liked to go head to head with Jo.
I think that is also such a nice part of it too. Jo was partially or seemed to be partially based on Eva and fans often compare them. I think that another thing I like about this scene is how this scene fans of Total Drama can get, knowing who the intern is in canon and the similarities between Jo and Eva adds a little something. I think that's a clever way of using what is a story based on a preexisting work.
I don't if the scene would be less strong if we didn't know about Jo though. Maybe we'd have less attachment to her, but the tragedy would still be felt.
Lightning's death is depressing too. I'm not a big fan of Lightning in the canon, but he seemed helpful in this story, especially the great Katie and Sadie incident. It's sad to see him go as well. Although based on your reply to Space, we'll be having another exciting encounter with an intern...
So Katie finds the idol? Not sure how I feel about the idol yet. I thought it was funny when Beth was late and found out about it. I think it would've been better if they had played it as questioning if the idol was really cursed or not, did the Screaming Gophers really just fail the challenges or was it other power. It might not have worked. I do think that using the idol as an excuse to eliminate Beth as she was showing a lot of her character development, and there was plenty of better choices [Owen being the biggest in my opinion].
I'm getting offtrack. I'm not sure how I feel about the idol yet, but it seems the idol won't be as awful. I like the conversation that emerges from Katie and Izzy about the idol. And, the really great way you have Katie's short term memory come into play. I feel so bad for poor Katie, and I'm worried what will happen with her now that she has the idol.
I do think it was interesting she got it to show Noah. I also like how it ties back into that simple conversation about the totem that just seemed like a small joke. I'm interested to see the developments that follow this.
And Courtney finds another love note? I'm starting to question if it is by Noah, as like Space said that is everyone's first assumption. The title of Diamond Maid, makes it harder to guess, and I'm trying to think of anyone connected to diamonds.
Heather's performance about seeing Harold's ghost really had me. For a second I thought you had Jo's death in there to trick us into believing a contestant wouldn't die and then kill off Heather. Heather makes a great argument as to why they should follow her plan.
Also the ending discussion between Sadie and Heather really struck me. I thought it was really intelligent for Sadie to ask that. And the way Heather says she doesn't believe in ghosts makes me think something related to ghosts will befall the queen bee.
Izzy's fire scene was great. I really like Izzy's comedic work in this episode, perhaps the most present she had been in any chapter. Perhaps my favorite thing is how she says "By The Power of Grayskull! or how she tries to say she has the power before it goes boom.
Hmm...curious to see what happens now that the RCMP has seen Izzy's explosion. I actually thought they wouldn't be brought up in the story, but now that they have I hope Izzy will be okay.
I thought it was odd for Heather to admit her plan, but I suppose it was better to be open about it. And Heather's plan was rather genius. I think it was actually much more clever than canon Heather, and I'd like to see more of her doing that [I voted that in the poll]. It was also pretty dark for canon Heather too, with lying about Harold's ghost.
And I love the paddle catfight Heather and Courtney go into. That's a great cliffhanger. My guess is that Courtney wins, partially due to the cursed idol. Although her paddle could break. What I really think will happen is that one of them will fall as they reach it or something like that, making it not count because it didn't have both members.
Another great chapter, I'm really excited to see how this one ends! Code Red. Code Red Mountain Dew. It was pretty popular back then. Some might argue that it's popularity usurped that of regular Mountain Dew. I would argue... 20:33, September 7, 2013 (UTC)
- The fact that Jo is widely seen as “Eva 2.0” was pretty much the entire dramatic reason for Eva reacting the way she did. As for Lightning, his canon counterpart seems full of himself but otherwise relatively inoffensive unless you get him mad. As an intern, being helpful is part of his job, and Lightning seems the type to strive for excellence in everything he does.
- Ah, the idol. If it makes you feel better, Katie has a couple of things going for her when the idol’s nature comes to light. The first is that the campers are generally sympathetic to her right now. Second, LTDI Chris didn’t mention the curse during the challenge briefing. (He was supposed to, but I was a bit rushed and forgot to put that in, so the Katie/Izzy scene was something of a “saving throw”—and personally, I think it worked much better that way, because it made Katie’s brain damage dramatically important and gave Izzy another monologue.) And if the idol does get Katie eliminated or worse, you’ll just have to trust me that it won’t look contrived.
- My take on the canon idol was that it didn’t have any supernatural power and was mainly there to set the stage for Beth’s contrived elimination. By the by, Katie didn’t take the idol just to show it to Noah. She (like canon Beth) took it because she thought it would make an interesting souvenir. The chance to take Noah down a peg is a bonus, as far as Katie is concerned.
- I expect that Heather’s acting performance tricked a lot of readers, which was of course the intent. Being a good actor is a powerful asset to a villain, don’t you think?
- The fire scene is an example of how I like to show my work, and I had a lot of fun creating a plausible(ish) setup for what in the original was just a sight gag that wasn’t necessarily supposed to make sense. Lilac once told me that one of the things she loves about my writing is my ability to come up with explanations for anything, and I’ll bet that she’ll get a kick out of Izzy’s atomic fire starter if she’s still reading LTDI. Likewise, I wanted to give a reasonable explanation for how the RCMP found Izzy. In the original, they swooped in from out of the blue, and the signal fire blast was just a throwaway sight gag. (See how it all ties together?) Speaking of the RCMP, if you remembered my Fake Souls chapter about Izzy, specifically the Notes, you would have known to expect them at some point.
- Heather revealing her sabotage to her teammates was a calculated risk intended to boost what she could see was abysmal morale. More to the point, it was (in her eyes, anyway) another display of her fitness to be the Eagles’ leader. Of course she just did it for the good of the team, right? Of course it never even occurred to her that having to face one less elimination in the team phase would improve the odds of all her allies making it to the merge with her. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
- Long story short, I intend for LTDI Heather to be not only a better strategist than her canon counterpart, but also a better leader while retaining the same basic personality. Unlike canon Heather, LTDI Heather is capable of actually respecting other players’ abilities, although such respect still doesn’t come naturally to her. Her main weaknesses at this point are her vanity and her enmity toward Gwen, both of which (as per canon) can make her lose sight of larger objectives. And she still doesn’t treat her allies very well, although she’s capable of being civil towards them. (Remember, she’s a good actress.)
- As for the paddle battle, the Ben-Hur parody was one of the first things that I decided I wanted to do when I was originally sketching out LTDI’s story arc. Another was calling the Boney Island beavers "rodents of unusual size". Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:46, September 10, 2013 (UTC)
The coming over the ridge to find the bodies had a movie-feel to it. Kind of a horror flick, which this chapter is. The scene was stark and full of energy, and finished as an epic saga, since the valiant warrior had slain overwhelming enemies before falling as a heroine. I loved it, and felt bad for Jo and proud of her, too. :D I might have felt even more empathy for an intern I didn't know, but it's wonderful that you're using ROTI's characters as the interns, since that way we get to know the interns. =)
Lightning's death seemed empty, somehow, since it was a meaningless death. Apropos that an entire hillside took him down, though. This team also missed the massive beavers, so they weren't as skittish as the other team became. Story possibilities there.
Katie and Izzy were good together, and I like how you showed that Katie's memory problems could be a major problem. I'm guessing the curse is just in everyone's minds, but of course anything bad that happens will be blamed on it, and therefore Katie. I'm looking forward to how you write that. :)
I was really surprised when Heather saw Harold's ghost, but then when she told Sadie why she screamed, I was pleasantly surprised. ;D Yay Heather finally being Heather! Great strategy, too! :) I'm surprised she told anyone her plan, but it makes sense. I'm wondering who will figure it out. :P
Izzy's firebomb was the best bit!!! I loved the TD fireball, and yours is incredible!!! xDD That radioactive Californium was da bomb!!! rofl It glows! I wish we could hear more about it, but nothing could be gained by repeating it, unless the RCMP interrogates her for us. ;)
Felt kind of rushed, but it was a fun adventure! ;) Jay JLOM But soon or late the man who wins is the man who thinks he can. -Author Unknown 05:25, September 28, 2013 (UTC)
Fourteenth Night Discussion & Polls
Fourteenth Night Polls
Fourteenth Night Discussion
The fourtheenth night did not dissapoint :) It did seem a bit short to me, though it's probably because the challenge was finished in one night, which isn't usual. But I'm fine with that, as I enjoyed how the deer challenge was done (one of my favorite episodes).
So it seems Courtney lost the challenge. I was really unsure with that idol Katie got. But Heather managed to prevail. I love the phrase she said to Lindsay to get her to move faster. The race was close all the way to the end, and I enjoyed it throughly.
Part of the reason I thought the Screaming Eagles would lose, is that it seemed to be easy to tell who would go on their team. I like how the choices were examined, it just shows how hard it would really be. Haha, I love the added twist that the steaks were made of those beavers, that was genius. They don't let anything go to waste...though it makes me wonder what could've happened to the poor interns' bodies. I was really touched by Eva's ode to Jo.
I didn't even think much about Izzy knowing so much about the wine. It did feel like a pretty knowledgable thing for her to know, and felt a bit odd how she said that, but I just assumed that was Izzy. But the fact that Izzy is actually a criminal woman is crazy! I didn't expect that at all. I'm interested on how will see Izzy again...though I have my ideas.
It's sad to see Izzy go though. For one, I know she's easy and a favorite of yours to write, and a good source of comedy. I thought I remember a talk about Dawn meeting Izzy and seeing Sunshine, but I suppose that's been changed...or will be different than I thought. Speaking of which, I feel it's gonna be awkward thinking about Sunshine without Izzy, for the contestants. And poor Izzy and Beth :(
I don't think Courtney was really eliminated. She's too strong a player, just look at the talent show or phobia factor. Heck, even this challenge; she made the risky move of the more difficult path to keep up and was rocking the duel. Not to mention her close friendship with Zeke. My money was on Duncan, Izzy and Beth already had it out for him, and Courtney and Eva wouldn't mind joining in on that as well. Will these votes ever be revealed on a later date? I'm thinking towards a reunion.
I think it's sweet the Eagles learn the song. Although it certainly seems like something that might feel awkward given what seems like is going to happen. Heather's comment to Leshawna felt like it was there for us to assume Heather meant Leshawna when she told Katie and Sadie later. Nicely done.
I enjoyed Duncan getting served by Chris, a very Chris moment. The challenge outcome did feel rather inevitable. But I enjoyed the moments of it a whole lot more. I knew Heather would have to do the challenge, and not just from the preview, but from how Chris said could. I felt smart for that one.
The plane is a genius idea, and something I wish was actually done. I loved the idea and how well it worked. I loved the DJ and Heather moment. It was sweet, and rather genuine coming from Heather. I admit I can't remember exactly what favor DJ owned to Heather (or one of her servants as it was put). DJ actually has gotten some good focus this chapter, and now that I think about it, Heather and DJ would be a really cute couple.
I loved Beth's faking moment. It was too hilarious and given Beth's poor characterization in canon, I really enjoy LTDI's portrayal of her. The plane worked really well and I like how it's described (particularly The Flying Fish haha). I didn't expect Cody to run into the bear here for some reason, though it'd obviously be a good moment to play for drama.
I caught some of thee references this chapter, including the flawless victory and the Three Caballeras. Katie and Sadie's turn was exceptional. I like the argument, and how you can't tell who said what. It felt rapid pace to me, which I feel is what you were going for. And Heather's just desserts were wonderful.
Dang, I'm really interested to see how Heather's plans go down. It seems like a really risky gambit. I feel like Heather's plans could go a lot of ways. Heather can't really get anyone on her side, particularly because Cody and Noah want Katie to stick around (though Heather doesn't know that). Even if say Leshawna and Katie were tied votes, I feel Katie would be more likely to stay due to being a fan favorite and a better drama causer. Though Chris might hold a grudge.
Although maybe Heather is trying to make Katie and Sadie closer to her by making it seem like Katie was being targeted. And of course, Heather doesn't know about Katie's deal with Gwen, who might have to tell Gwen this. I almost wanna say it's Heather, but earlier it was said that Lindsay would turn against her, so we have to wait till then. I'm dying to see how this plays out!
Another good chapter, it had a lot of good character moments. Like I said, I can't wait for more! Code Red. Code Red Mountain Dew. It was pretty popular back then. Some might argue that it's popularity usurped that of regular Mountain Dew. I would argue... 23:15, January 6, 2014 (UTC)
- The chapter was actually average length by LTDI’s standards—right around 10,000 words, including the notes. As for the idol, you’re assuming that the curse (if it truly exists) will affect Katie’s team, but that’s not the only possibility. It might only affect Katie—adding insult to injury, considering what she’s already been through—or it could even affect the whole camp (as if the interns didn’t have enough problems).
- Feeding the Muskies beaver steaks was partly inspired by the fact that bear meat is supposed to be good eating (although you have to cook it thoroughly, just like pork, and for the same reasons) and the Boney Island beavers are essentially a rodent version of bears. And you’re right, it’s not like the TDI producers to let that much fresh meat (well, semi-fresh… OK, kinda sorta fresh) go to waste. Eva’s tip of the hat to the late Jo wasn’t really an “ode”, which is a type of poem, but I understand what you’re trying to say.
- Izzy’s abrupt departure does seem to leave Beth high and dry, at least for the nonce, but having the RCMP come for Izzy is a “Station of the Canon” that I simply had to include, especially after I took the trouble in the previous chapter to show how the RCMP might have got wind of her presence. (Did you like the description of Izzy’s obscene gesture?) By the by, Courtney didn’t choose the harder path on Boney Island to make up time. Her team arrived first and she took the easier/longer path, the better to maintain a strong, steady pace. Heather chose the harder/shorter path, but not to catch up.
- As you may have deduced, Chris shooting Duncan during the challenge briefing was an expanded version of the canon scene where Chris shoots Harold during the challenge briefing. As for the “could vs. would” bit, if there’s anything that this story—not to mention five canon seasons—has taught people about Chris, it’s that they need to to pay attention to his exact words (or lack thereof). Good catch, nonetheless.
- The deer hunt was the first time that Chris clearly stacked the deck to get the result he wanted—something the previous challenges, with the possible exception of the phobia challenge, didn’t really give him a chance to do without coming right out and saying, “I’m going to give one team an advantage.” In the deer hunt, he gave the Muskies all the advantages because they were a player down, and keeping the team numbers more or less in balance makes interesting challenges easier to design. Chris’ preference for the Muskies to win could also explain why he didn’t mind when they “borrowed” the plane, although it’s just as likely that he merely respects thinking outside the box. (For the same reasons, don’t expect Chris to be mad at Alejandro for helping the Flying Fish.) Speaking of which, it wasn’t until I got the idea of hunting from the air that I started to envision this challenge as the curb stomp battle that it wound up becoming.
- The reason why you can’t remember why D.J. owed a favor to one of Heather’s “servants” (whom I envisioned as Katie, although it could have just as easily been any of them) is because the reasons were never described and aren’t really important. As for the prank that said servant put D.J. up to, I was originally going to have an actual scene for it; but since the “episode” already had two pre-challenge scenes (the bonfire and the quarrel), I decided to leave it as a noodle incident. I figured that if I just threw in a couple of references suggesting that the prank had sexual overtones, dirty-minded readers would have a field day with it. Long story short, the prank led to a situation where Heather would have accidentally flashed D.J. had he not prevented it somehow, hence Heather’s comment on his “gentlemanly instincts” and D.J.’s remark about the “compromising position”.
- As for Heather’s gambit, whether it succeeds or fails, it gives her the “villain’s trifecta”: first a me-before-the-team blindsiding (of Trent), then playing dirty in a challenge (at Boney Island), and now a backstab. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 04:21, January 19, 2014 (UTC)
Gid... have I mentioned how much I despise your cliffhangers?
In all seriousness though, I got sooooo pulled in to this chapter. Heather's dirty play was up to what I expected it would be really... even though I was pulling for Coutney and Zeke. Seeing Chef's culinary prowess come out, and the fact that he isn't truly bad at all, was refreshing. I like this softer version of his character really. Learning that they were eating beaver meat the whole time though... priceless. I was so nervous that Courtney would go in the end... and I'm actually happy it was Izzy instead. Wow Gid... you've actually turned Courtney into one of my favored characters on this story... good job! XD I can really feel a great comrodery between all the campers (minus one Heather that is) and the song just brings them even closer.
When I saw the teams for the challenge, I knew the Muskies were going to win from the opening call of the teams... but I didn't know they would dominate in such a fashion. The plane was definitely unexpected, but it was a great touch to the domination of the challenge. Also having Ezekiel doing something as great as flying the plane... man if only his TDI version had been this good. DJ's stealth was just, holy crap. Seeing what he can do, it's a wonder he hasn't dominated most of these physical challenges single-handedly. Also, his scene with Heather felt very natural and heartfelt. Now I hate them as a pairing, (personal opinion) but here it just seems to work and flow nicely. Plus it showed Heather isn't just this evil overlord, she's a human being who has a certain way of showing her emotions.
Cody and the bear's encounter had my heart racing... I thought the second there we may being seeing the second camper death. However in swept the Muskies to save the day, further proving the comrodery between everyone. Plus, that betrayal scene was perfect. The twins just turning and firing on her was absolutely great! I also love the confusion Brett's Mom has over the situation, (or was it Sadie?) I just got a kick out of that.
Ugh though, I can't tell who mat be going. Leshawna, Katie and Heather are obviously the front running targets... but in the end it could really be anyone going. I personally hope Katie stays, as I love her and Sadie in this incarnation. Also I gotta remember Katie and Cody's deals with Gwen. Honestly... I'm actually hoping to see Heather walk the Dock of Shame. I mean, Chris already makes for a good antagonist to the contestants, and Heather can always return at the merge to become the antagonist of the merge again. Really though, I just want to find out who's going next. I await the next chapter with never ending enthusiasm. Space was here some time ago and he wrote stuff. 20:21, January 9, 2014 (UTC)
- Commandeering the plane was one of the preview scenes that I posted on my blog in the year before LTDI’s official launch in September 2011, but that was before your time.
- If I need someone to have a skill that they didn’t display on the show, I try to come up with a logical reason for them to have that skill. So it was with D.J. and Ezekiel. D.J.’s stealth seemed a natural outgrowth of his canon grace. In LTDI, he’s performed competently in the challenges for the most part, but he hasn’t dominated because the challenges so far generally haven’t played to his strengths. As for Ezekiel, I happen to know that I’m not the only fanfic writer who’s envisioned him flying a cropduster. Whether or not I was the first, I can’t say.
- Cody and the bear was another case of playing for drama a scene that the original played for laughs, with minor changes having a major effect on the tone. Your reaction to Cody’s peril was part of the reason why Harold wound up as a sacrificial lamb. Let’s face it, it wouldn’t be Total Drama if the campers didn’t have brushes with death. The difference is that here, after seeing what happened to Harold, the reader has to take those threats seriously. As for thinking that Cody could have been the second camper death, keep in mind that there have arguably already been two, depending on how you define “death”. Speaking of Katie, one thing you may have noticed in other scenes where she and Sadie go into full Hive Mind mode is that it’s not always clear who is saying what. The Storyteller’s moment of confusion is merely an extension of that, and further emphasizes the clones’ interchangeability in those situations.
- The camaraderie evident in Cody’s rescue, among other things, comes of the campers believing that they have to look out for each other because they can’t count on Chris or the producers to do so. Even Chef Hatchet, that quintessential punch clock villain, can only be counted on to a certain point, since he may have orders to obey in any given situation. And yes, Heather is a part of this gestalt, too, however grudgingly.
- I’m glad to hear that you can’t guess who will be eliminated, because that suggests that (a) I’m doing a decent job with the large ensemble cast, so that nobody comes across as filler; and/or (b) I’m not telegraphing the eliminations too much. Granted, I can’t have shocking elimination twists every time, lest they start to seem merely screwy instead of shocking, and there have been some eliminations that I’ve telegraphed for specific dramatic reasons; but on the whole, I’m generally looking for twists that the reader doesn’t see coming but can see the clues for after the fact. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 20:10, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
Everyone has voiced everything I was thinking about saying here, so I'll just say that I found an error, Gid. Right after Cody is saved from becoming bear chow, the scene switches back to Lindsey and the Hea-lliance. xD
"Lindsay returned empty handed. When she heard her allies’ voice[d] start to rise,..."
Awesome chapter as always!! I can never get tired of reading your story, because you make it fresh and fun. :D Also, as has been mentioned previously, you have the luxury of making each chapter as long and detailed as you like, without the constraint of a 20-minute window. Keep up the great work, hubby bear. ^_^ Jay JLOM The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. xD 20:21, June 3, 2014 (UTC)
Fifteenth Night Discussion & Polls
Fifteenth Night Polls
Fifteenth Night Discussion
Sorry, Sadie fans, but the elimination order was set long before the story launched. All that character development, and she didn't even last as long as her canon counterpart. For what it's worth, though, your feedback helped to make her a major character in the first place. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 08:51, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
As much as I'll miss Sadie, I had a feeling that either she or Katie would have to go sometime soon, considering how much of a powerhouse they had the potential to become if they'd made it any further. Because she was so developed, I don't feel that Sadie lasting shorter than her arguably bland and uninteresting canon counterpart was actually a bad thing. She certainly spent enough time in the story to be interesting and notable.
Dawn's appearance in the chapter was nice, and I'm interested in seeing where you're going to go with her. As long as you don't force her into the limelight (which I highly doubt you will), I believe that she has the potential to be an interesting addition to the story. I also really liked your description and characterization of her, and her brief interaction with Alejandro was short but sweet.
I'm not quite sure why, but I felt that Heather was a little less brutal in this chapter. Even her plan to eliminate Katie/Sadie somehow seemed less villainous. That's not necessarily a bad thing, however, and it could just be me. I felt that her surprisingly gentle conversation with Cody, as well as her willingness to barter over who to eliminate, made her seem more human. I was also hoping that she'd have a little more interaction with Alejandro during the cooking the challenge, but I guess that'll come later on in the story? Either way, I'm looking forward to seeing where that goes, if anywhere.
As for Katie and Noah. I like the fact that they've grown slightly closer, even if it was only by a small amount. Now that Sadie's gone, it should give Katie more time to develop as an individual, and I'd like to see whether or not you make her interactions with Noah an integral part of this. I personally think that Noah will end up being fine, though I shouldn't really be so sure *cough* Harold *cough*. Behind Katie, Sadie, Ezekiel, and possibly Courtney, he's my favorite adaptation of a canon character that you've produced, and it would be a shame to see him leave.
- I originally envisioned Katie as a significantly more important character than Sadie, so you needn’t worry about the post-split Katie turning into a “living prop” like Sadie’s canon counterpart did after she and Katie were separated. The additional “screen” time Sadie got as a result of my pandering to her fans, which elevated her from a reasonably prominent secondary character to a full-fledged “sacrificial lion” (and in the process inadvertently invited comparisons to the shocking elimination of Courtney’s canon counterpart) came in addition to Katie’s exposure, not at the expense of it. That's part of the reason why the Eagles have gotten almost 40% more attention than the Muskies to this point. (Fifteenth Night was almost entirely about the power alliance, but it didn’t really move the needle much because it was one relatively short chapter out of 15.)
- With Sadie gone, Noah now has one less major obstacle to deal with in his quest to win Katie’s heart. He still has to be careful, because for gameplay reasons he still doesn’t want Heather to know; but at least now he’s getting up to bat, which is more than he could do when Katie and Sadie were joined at the hip.
- As for Dawn, the fact that she’s an intern means that the spotlight won’t be on her. Of course, that doesn’t mean that she can’t or won’t have one or two big scenes, like Alejandro did with Beth during the cliff diving. Speaking of Alejandro, his interaction with the campers has been limited by the facts that he’s an intern and is considerably older than they (the interns, as you may recall, are mostly college age, whereas the campers are 16) but a notable friendship or even a forbidden romance is certainly possible. The canon relationship between Heather and Alejandro is probably the reason why about 1 in 4 of the poll respondents think that Alejandro is Brett’s father. Almost half think that Heather is the mother, with Gwen a distant second.
- I’ve never seen a lamprey in the wild, since lampreys don’t live in my part of the country, but they’re certainly not what you’d call beguiling creatures. That of course, was the point of the joke when I made them the unlikely subject of a running gag. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 00:39, April 3, 2014 (UTC)
Gid... you're making a habit of putting my favorite characters in danger at the cliffhangers. Yet this was still an amazing chapter nonetheless. Cody and Heather are quickly rising to become two of my most favored characters. At first I kind of wanted Heather to be an early out... now I'm just happy she's still around to be the queen bee she is. Cody is, in my opinion, the underlying star of the season. I'm just looking forward to see how these two bounce off eachother.
Ugh all that built up suspense... all to eliminate probably the most popular character in the story. Tbh I thought the build up and elimination were very well done. I'm actually not too broken up about Sadie leaving... in fact I kinda prefer having Katie still be there instead. Sadie had a very good and big storyline, Katie however hasn't really had that yet. She's kinda just felt like... Sadie's other half tbh. With this split I'm hoping to see Katie show some major personality, and make it in this game on her own.
I love DJ getting to step up and be a star during the cooking challenge. It really is his challenge to shine in. Plus the whole challenge seems to be falling together rather nicely. I also love the gest of Duncan and Eva working together.
NOAH, YOU MUST LIVE DUDE!!!!!!!! No but seriously... I just don't want Noah to leave. I love him in this story and he still hasn't had a good amount of screentime yet. I really want him to stick around and see where his relationship with Katie will end up. All in all, I'm once again left in suspense as to what next chapter holds. Space was here some time ago and he wrote stuff. 21:17, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
- I’m glad to hear that I’m putting your favorites in danger, since that presumably gets a stronger reaction than menacing the “meh” characters.
- Katie and Sadie have both had multiple and substantial scenes without the other, or at least without the “hive mind” byplay. It’s just that Sadie’s scene is (unsurprisingly) the one that people remember best. As for the buildup to Sadie’s ouster, I’d say that such a high-profile character deserved a dramatic sendoff, wouldn’t you? I have to be honest, though: even though the main focus was on Heather, the primary purpose of all that was actually to provide character development for Cody. You saw it before with Trent’s elimination, and you’ll see it again, because being semi-allies instead of full allies means that Cody and Heather must enter a separate negotiation every time one of them wants the other’s help.
- Katie has actually not lacked for a storyline, although it might seem so because her role in certain events has been more passive than Sadie’s. Simply put, ever since the talent show, very little has gone right for “Sadie’s other half”. After having to abase herself before Gwen, she’s faced the prospect of becoming a sex slave, suffered brain damage, lost her bestie, (maybe) brought a supernatural curse upon herself and/or her team, and now might be about to lose her secret admirer. Oh, yeah, and she died. (Sort of.)
- I originally planned for Courtney to lead her team (as usual) during the cooking challenge, but that quickly changed when I started to actually write out the scenes. Like you said, it was a natural time for D.J. to lead the Muskies, since the challenge plays to his strengths. Besides, D.J. still needs more to do, although he’s become more prominent in the last couple of chapters.
- Using the number of times a character is mentioned by name as the best proxy I have for prominence in the story, Noah has been right around the middle of the pack. He managed to pass Ezekiel in this chapter because, thanks largely to the elaborate setup for Sadie’s elimination and the aftermath thereof, Fifteenth Night focused almost entirely on the Eagles. The Eagles got almost 90% of the reps in this chapter, compared to a little under 60% for the story as a whole. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:19, April 5, 2014 (UTC)
Another wonderful chapter Gideon, though also heartbreaking. Sadie R.I.P. (Actually, that joke might jinx it so she dies)
You got hopes up with Heather wanting Katie gone. It did shock me a bit, because Sadie is the bigger threat and or the harder one to control.
Heather and Gwen's interactions are hysterical. I kind of miss that there isn't anything like this in Total Drama seasons now a days. Cody and Heather's scene was really interesting to me. I like their interactions, probably because it has both great strategic moments and character development. I think Cody has developed some more confidence or strength, given he is doing a better job at flirting with Gwen, according to Heather.
It makes sense Heather would chose based on looks, this is Heather. Sadie sadly is the better choice. I saw a review of the Lord of the Rings movies, and I remember hearing about Tom Bombadil. If I remember he wasn't really important to the plot at all. Don't know what that has to do with the situation, just thought I'd share.
Asking Heather for a favor? Now that is confidence. I agree with Heather, that is amazingly sweet. Also, I enjoyed this little gem, "Heather would rather shave her head than see that happen." I see what you did there Gid.
"When people see how devoted you can be, girls will be flocking to you. The deceiver was thus the deceived, for this bit of shameless flattery was in fact truth spoken in jest, but that is another story for another time." I think this could be referring to Sierra.
All these ship teases are driving me crazy. My hopeless romantic nature is enjoying it all too much. Clever Chris, very clever to hide the votes. It wouldn't surprise me if Chris actually did do that in the actual show as well. It might be a technic I might use in my fics as well.
Noah really gets major points with Katie for singing that. I'm curious to see if they sing that to Heather. I could see them doing it as a joke.
I liked Dawn's introduction. I have a bit of a fascination with the interns in LTDI (and to a lesser degree recurring intern characters in other fics as well). Perhaps you should write a future story about their misadventures. Poor Alejandro. I like what Dawn seems to bring to the table. It does feel like there is great evil here.
I like the way Katie is persuaded from not thinking Sadie would be voted off. I do think Heather should be catching on to what Noah is trying to do right in front of her face. I feel like Noah's dealings are going to come and pay him back, and Katie will find out.
Oh Lindsay, you're so cute and innocent. Katie just can't give up yet though, she has to remember to try for Sadie! I'm very curious to see who this guest judge is for the contestant. I know a Pahkitew Island camper is suppose to show up next chapter, so perhaps them? Although given Chris's statements about her my guess is either Blaineley or Dakota.
I like Courtney allowing DJ to take the position of Head Chef and leader. This is why you're likable here Courtney. Naturally all the food talk gets me hungry. I like Heather's smart enough to recognize a better idea when she is presented with it. And I'm interested in how Cody plans on kissing up.
And so the giant lampreys make their appearance, they sound hideous and terrifying. I like their description, particularly how you said 'And it had eyes.' Naturally Heather is considered with the challenge, although now I kind of want to taste lamprey.
And oh gosh no, Noah's fallen! I doubt he's going to die or leave for medical attention, he has too much plot at the moment. But this certainly isn't going to fare well for them. Similar to the canon challenge, it seems the Screaming Eagles are losing members just like they did in the first challenge.
As for who loses, this is even harder to tell than usual. No one has really messed up so far, but the uneven favors for the Eagles makes me think it's their loss. But I feel a Muskie going is far more natural at the moment, given that about every Eagle feels they have some plot to stay for. I would like to seem so more Muskie focus soon, given the large amount the Eagles (mostly the power alliance) has had, even if it was great.
Another great chapter, with a lot of great conversations and a really good send off to a character done right. --Code Red. Code Red Mountain Dew. It was pretty popular back then. Some might argue that it's popularity usurped that of regular Mountain Dew. I would argue... 01:48, April 28, 2014 (UTC)
- As I see it, Cody’s improved flirting is simply a matter of “practice makes perfect”, plus the fact that he’s finally gotten some guidance (during the Boney Island transit a few chapters ago) on what he was doing wrong, i.e. Gwen explained that he was coming across as creepy when he was trying to be cool. “Cool” doesn’t really suit Cody. As for his apparent confidence in dealing with Heather, that came from knowing that he was in a strong position. Heather needed his vote, and really didn’t have any other good options if he refused. The fact that Cody and Heather get along reasonably well (i.e. they’re “friendish”) didn’t hurt, either.
- Both in-universe and out, the shipping/teasing is widespread, as you’ve seen. By the end of the story, if memory serves, well over half of the contestants will have been either a shipper or a shippee. (Or, not infrequently, both at different times.)
- Heather had to suggest a Hawaiian theme as a nod to the canon episode, but she was also fishing for a better idea in such a way that wouldn’t make her look weak. She had some idea of what D.J. would bring to the Muskies’ table, so to speak, and understood that the Eagles had their work cut out for them if they are to win this challenge. As for who the guest judge will be, if you think about it there is one particularly logical choice, given what the story has revealed to this point.
- As for Chris hiding the votes, I’ve noted elsewhere that LTDI Chris interferes more subtly than his canon counterpart, who was after all satirizing such things. Although LTDI will have screwy eliminations down the road, and arguably already has, I can assure you that it won’t have anything comparable to the canon eliminations of Lindsay or Leshawna. Lindsay’s canon elimination in particular left a bad taste in my mouth, and remains one of the franchise’s low points for me. Leshawna’s was easier to stomach because it was more clearly satirizing executive influence over the elimination order.
- Now that Dawn’s on the island, expect two big scenes from her in episode #11 (the trust challenge). The first will come in the next chapter. The second could be anywhere up to three chapters down the road (i.e. 16th-18th Night) depending mainly on where the cliffhangers fall. She could end up becoming a “mauve shirt” with prominence comparable to Alejandro’s.
- The focus imbalance in this chapter was a side effect of the cliffhanger placements and of the relatively short chapter length. If memory serves, though, the canon episode’s primary focus was also on the Gophers (Eagles), with the “teach Harold a lesson” B story being mainly what balanced the coverage.
- Naturally, I’m glad to hear that you can’t predict who will win the challenge. I think you’ll find the challenge climax fitting. And it’s particularly heartening to hear that you like the conversations, because I’ve never considered dialogue a strong point of my writing. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:58, May 1, 2014 (UTC)
I'm loving your interactions with Heather and Cody. Their conversations are showing their personalities, and intelligence, very well. That conversation at the beginning especially shows their thinking process and strategy, too. I'm glad that the Nerd Alliance is holding strong. ;D
I love how you dropped in little shout-outs, like Fatty Lumpkin, Tom Bombadil, and Heather would rather be bald than tell Cody the whole truth. I'm so glad that writing this brings you so much happiness. <3 It's a joy to read, too. :)
At the marshmallow ceremony it was a little scary that Chris and Heather were able to understand each others' thoughts without speaking. For Chris to have any respect for a character is rather creepy, although, Heather is a great villain, and an intelligent and charismatic one to boot. She'd make a great Chris. ;)
Great conversation between the "twins", too, about who should actually leave. Almost more intelligent than I would have guessed for the twosome. Also, awesome act by Noah to get closer to his crush. I'm thinking Noah can sing well or it wouldn't really have worked. Very touching scene. :)
Thanks for reminding us that Alejandro is the son of a diplomat. I'd forgotten. I'm hoping the other interns weren't that "important", but this also makes me wonder if Chris is going to pay for his horrible treatment towards these interns later. Great description of Dawn the Intern when she arrived, too. Wonderful conversation between them. I hope we get to see more interactions with these two. And I LOLed at the avoidance of mention on the TDI website of the interns' "sticky ends". Horrible in reality, funny here in fiction. :)
I'm thinking that Blainley is the unannounced judge in the cooking challenge. She might be a hoot. :) I'm not sure how much time they have to actually prepare these meals, so I was a little surprised that Heather thought it would be a good idea to search for local plants and animals. Great fun, tho, since we finally get to see a giant lamprey. Now I want to try a lamprey just to see how it tastes. xD Also, Eeeeek! on Noah's predicament! D: Good thing LeShawna found him, since she has the strength to carry him to the medics' cabin. He's got to be okay, tho, because otherwise we won't get to see him cast more of his charms on Katie.
It was nice to see Heather actually change her mind to go French, rather than just blindly stick to Hawaiian, like she'd first envisioned. You're making Heather more "human" than she was on the show. Kudos! JustLittleOlMe Lil Jay JLOM Jay-Z Jay-cobb Jayneneh Lady Gideon 22:40, June 11, 2014 (UTC)
Sixteenth Night Discussion & Polls
Sixteenth Night Polls
Sixteenth Night Discussion
Well first of all I'd just like to say FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- *sound cuts off and elevator music begins playing*
Okay, now that that's out of the way, on to my actual chapter comment. Leshawna saving Noah and Noah living <3 thank GOD! I'm just soooo happy Noah's still alive, it would've killed me had his character died. Dawn trying to save Noah from the bees was also a pretty good idea. It's obvoious by the way she described it though that these bees are under the influence of something supernatural... perhaps Katie's evil omen is attacking those closest to her (whether she's aware they are or not). Just speculation, but I think that's what's going on.
Millie <3, I just love your prtrayal of Blaineley already. Her and Chris going back and forth was funny, and they were made for each other. Also Chef's banter as the middle man and a judge was superb. You wrote him very well, and I could see him realistically talking like this.
Heather apologized for something... WHAT IS THIS? I like the more human approach that you're taking with her character. That apology and her scene with DJ earlier in the story were both good for showing a softer side of her.
The outcome of the challenge itself was expected. I knew DJ would lead his team to victory one way or another, though you did keep it close for suspenses sake.
In the end... I didn't want Noah to leave. I knew he was the most logical choice after the events that happened, and he was probably the most expendable of the characters, but that doesn't make it any less painful to see one of my favorites go. I truly hope he returns at the merge cause he deserves to have another shot in this game... and another shot at Katie.
Oh and through this whole episode... I was actually a bit dissapointed by one aspect. Almost all of my favorite characters got minimal screentime and development. Eva, Ezekiel, Gwen, and even Noah himself got little throughout the whole episode. Katie and DJ are the exceptions, but meh I can't truly complain. I love all the characters in this story, so it's alright.
Oh please Dawn, save Katie from this evil spirit! If anyone can it's you! As usual, you have me on the edge of my seat awaiting the next chapter.
- Got it in one, Space. That’s exactly what’s happening. The implication is that the curse had some unknown role in Sadie being eliminated instead of Katie, and perhaps even in Heather’s decision to break up the clones in the first place. After all, it’s easy to manipulate people when the things you want them to do are things they’re inclined to do in the first place. And with Lindsay (Katie’s other BFF) blowing the challenge for her team, however innocently, the implication is that our favorite uberbimbo could be next if Dawn can’t do something to prevent it. As for Noah, I decided very early on that I wanted his allergies (which the show ignored in the first season and quietly transferred to Cody in the third) to be an important plot point. It’s unfortunate that he arguably got lost in the large ensemble cast, but he was always intended to be a supporting character in the team phase.
- Heather’s apology demonstrates several things: (1) the disconnect between what the finished episodes depict and what’s really happening; (2) that Heather is more able than her canon counterpart to understand when she’s crossed the line; and (3) that while Heather’s a basically decent person, she’s not a particularly nice one. When informed of Noah’s life-threatening mishap, Heather’s first thought was of how it might affect the challenge and her strategy, and she didn’t really see a problem with that until she was called out on it. On the other hand, when she was called out, she didn’t try to defend what she’d said, whereas her canon counterpart might have, especially in the first season.
- I had a lot of fun writing the byplay between Millie and Chris. The judges provided the comic relief in what was otherwise a dramatic episode. Chris was clearly the top dog by virtue of being the game’s host; but when he and Millie co-host the losers episode (which was originally envisioned as Millie’s first appearance) the shoe will be on the other foot, since the losers episode is more like a special Aftermath show than a game segment.
- By a wide margin, episode 10 did indeed have the most imbalanced focus yet. I see two main reasons for this. First, the Muskies (much like the Bass in the original) were victims of the dramatic axiom that “good news is no news.” Second, and probably more important, the original episode had the B story of Duncan, Geoff and D.J. pranking Harold; and that made up for the fact that preparation and presentation of the Bass’ meal went smoothly. I omitted that B story for various reasons (not least of which was the lack of a good prank target) and I really didn’t have a replacement storyline to balance the focus. I tried to think of a Muskie-centric B story, but nothing suggested itself. The closest thing I had to a B story was the Lamprey Incident and Noah’s disability, and those were Eagle-centric, which only compounded the problem.
- Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 06:08, May 22, 2014 (UTC)
First off, Yay, LeShawna!!! She acted just like canon LeShawna, in my view, in the way she saved Noah. <33 Also, that's nifty that Dawn and Scott (big surprise there) were helping out in the medical tent. Like Space said above, that curse from Boney could be to blame. :O It's real??
Secondly, I <3333 the Doctor Doolittle reference pertaining to Dawn! :D Simple reference, yet it had never occurred to me...probably because of the "aura" and magician-y "occult" type stuff. She's more like a gypsy child who "reads" nature.
Thirdly, I'm thrilled that you're using the "new" TD contestants as interns, too!! <33 Hopefully you'll put a link to the new season group pic in your footnotes. =) I'm looking forward to any personality you give to Beardo. ;D
Chris and Millie's couple name was Crillie? That's pretty good! xD Did they date in the canon? I don't remember that bit. Love their snipe/bantering! <333
I couldn't stop giggling about your "Chris is God" references! :D "Chris giveth and he taketh away." And "Chris beheld the campers reactions and saw that they were good." xD Chris is the overlord here...like Darth Vader almost. ;) *bwahahahaha*
Love your reference to "The Ravioli Pixie" in DJ's team foods. Like Space said above, very lopsided team coverage. But it didn't bother me a bit. You followed the action. :)
Just realized...since Chef Hatchet is tasting food, Noah's got to be stable and recovering. =D Noah's one of my favorite contestants! :) Yay!
Now I'm wondering what Noah wanted to talk to Tyler about. The Brain Trust alliance? Since Noah and Cody had already talked, that would be my guess. Looking forward to it! Tyler really hasn't "appeared" here, yet, so some conversations from him would be welcome. ;D
Brett's been overcoming obstacles all his life? Are we going to learn more about Brett soon? :D
I love that Gwen and Courtney are going to be investigating that note's origins together. I figure they'll have a great rappor, and maybe get their own alliance started? Loved this part of the canon, too.
Dawn won't talk to the lizards....xDD I <333 that! I hope she can save Katie, but at the very least she knows Katie needs help. Maybe Dawn can enlist Sunshine's help in stopping the Wendigo?
Not a life and death cliff-hanger this time! :D lol Looking forward to your next installment. :) Jay JLOM Since there was no time like the present, we decided to present the present. xD 17:02, June 17, 2014 (UTC)
- Why is it so surprising that Scott is helping out in the medical tent? He’s an intern, not a contestant, so it’s not like he has anything to gain by sabotaging people. (Not that he really did as a contestant, either.) You may recall that Scott was also the intern who brought the gurney to the amphitheater after Courtney’s accident in the talent show episode, so he seems to have some basic medical knowledge. (He’s also served as the camp’s quartermaster, so he probably either rotates or is only called to the medical tent when there’s a specific need and Chef is busy elsewhere.)
- I’m a bit surprised that apparently no one here has likened Dawn to Doctor Doolittle before, for it seems to me a natural metaphor for that aspect of Dawn’s talents. But then, I was also apparently the first writer here to call Heather a “dragon lady”, which seemed to me equally obvious. Go figure. That’s as may be, the show seemed to portray Dawn as a “one with nature” type, the aura reading notwithstanding.
- The purpose of the “Chris as God” references is to emphasize his power, for good or ill, over the island’s population. As you’ve clearly discerned, he’s more like the fearsome god of the Old Testament than the god of universal love generally associated with the New Testament.
- Having Beth make ravioli and be called the “ravioli pixie”, not to mention pairing her up with Duncan, was the very first Sunshine reference I came up with when planning out this story. I got that idea long before I ever decided that the genuine article would “appear” as Izzy’s (presumably) imaginary friend.
- As for Chris and Millie/Blaineley, their canon history was professional rather than personal. They never dated in canon, as far as I know. Making them exes was just a great way to put them into a situation that they were both uncomfortable with.
- As I think I’ve mentioned before, the show contained the love note subplot in a single episode. In this story, there are three notes spanning several episodes to emphasized that this has been going on for a while (and that someone seems to be rather careless with the notes).
- As for Sunshine helping Dawn against the wendigo, that’s a distinct possibility. After all, as far as we know, Izzy McAllister is still at large… Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:41, July 12, 2014 (UTC)
Well I’m late commeting :p Which is a shame because this was another great chapter.
I liked Leshawna and Dawn’s little conversation; it quickly established Dawn’s characteristics (and I laughed at that Doctor Dolittle reference). And so Beardo is the one from Pakthiew Island? He seems like a solid choice to be an intern, not seeming like a big character in the canon he’d have plenty to do. And he does have a pretty distinct appearance.
That was harsh of Heather to say that about Noah, but completely logical. I’m sure many of them were thinking it. DJ is an awesome leader, and I’m glad he’s gotten a lot of focus.
Blaineley! I’m a Blaineley fan and I have to say I loved your portrayal of her. Very rude and self obsessed. And I liked how you had her and Chris as exes. I bet she was hired just so she could interact with Chris like this for TV.
I like the head chef penalty vote. Very clever and sneaky. The judging was very well written, and Chef’s lines really felt like a cooking judge. It almost made me hungry as heck.
I feel for poor Lindsay. Honestly, they should’ve been keeping a better watch on her. And poor Noah. It was rather chivalrous of him to accept his fate and allow himself to be voted off. I agree with Brett, it stinks for him. Though I like that it was done in the story. And what does Brett’s mom mean when she says “you’ve been overcoming obstacles all your life.”
And why did Noah wanna see Tyler? My predication is that Noah is helping Tyler write the love notes, since Tyler has admitted to crushing on someone before. I liked Courtney and Gwen being friendly and I can’t wait to see what their detective work turns up.
Dawn and Katie’s scene was so sweet. I admit to be really interested in mystical stuff like that, so I really enjoy the spotlight Dawn is getting. I’m really interested to see how that lizard business gets brought back up again.
A wendigo? My first thought turned to the Marvel Comics character or Digimon, but as the trivia said it’s also a spirit, so I’m guessing that’s what is affecting Katie. Or maybe it’s foreshadowing of the first appearance of the Sasquatch. Either way I’m digging this and looking forward to more of this plot!
While the chapter was more heavily Screaming Eagles featured, they just had more going I’ll admit. They certainly have more cracks in their team than say the Killer Muskies, who can pull it together.
Anyway, this chapter didn’t have a lot of action but I loved it; it had good comedy, good character moments and the feeling of development and some mystery with this wendigo. Code Red. Code Red Mountain Dew. It was pretty popular back then. Some might argue that it's popularity usurped that of regular Mountain Dew. I would argue... 03:17, July 9, 2014 (UTC)
- Now that I’ve actually seen the first Pahkitew episode and know what Beardo’s schtick is, I’ll have to find some way to work it in—assuming he lives long enough, which isn’t a given with the interns.
- My take on Millie/Blaineley’s guest appearance was that she wasn’t hired because of any history with Chris. The producers just decided that, as the Aftermath hostess, she was a logical (not to mention readily available) choice when they needed a third judge. Her snarker’s “duel” with Chris was simply a bonus.
- The penalty vote was a simple way to raise the stakes a bit, although it wound up not making a difference. Just between you and me and whoever else might be reading this, this won’t be the last time that someone faces the prospect of a penalty in the elimination vote.
- As for Lindsay’s blunder… a few weeks after I posted this chapter, a contestant on MasterChef made a tray of donuts for a challenge. When Gordon Ramsey tasted one, he said, “This donut is salty. It’s seriously salty… Please tell me you didn’t put in salt for sugar.” So Katie’s right, it’s a mistake anyone could have made.
- If you liked our favorite “fairy princess” in this chapter, you’ll love her in the next. Dawn is just getting warmed up. Funny thing, she was originally going to debut in episode 13 (the extreme sports challenge) and appear in only two episodes (probably three chapters). But that was before I decided to make the Boney Island curse real…
- The Eagles being more fractious than the Muskies is a holdover from the original, where most of the major interpersonal conflicts were among the Gophers. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:41, July 12, 2014 (UTC)
Have I ever told you how much I love your writing style? Anyway, sorry for taking so long to write this, but my summer break hasn't really been much of a break. Dawn attempting to speak to the hornets was a nice little addition and a great piece of foreshadowing, and I liked the Doctor Doolitle reference you slipped into her and Leshawna's exchange. I also really liked her conversation with Katie; her lines were both interesting and funny. Basically, I just like how you've dealt with her character so far, and she isn't a massive screenhog, unlike in many other fanfics. I think that the intern role suits her.
Speaking of interns, I must admit that I've never thought of Scott as a hillbilly before, but that's probably because of all of the hillbilly stereotypes that I'm used to seeing. I'm interested in whether he'll do anything significant, but I'm more interested in seeing if Beardo's going to do anything. His canon representation doesn't really give much to work with. I won't mind if you don't really do anything, however.
I loved the way that you described and portrayed Blaineley (you don't mind if I refer to her as that, do you?). Her responses to the food were great, her exchanges with Chris were hilarious, and it's good that you created an actual history between the two. It was slightly surprising to read that Cody knows about Monty Python, but now that I think about it, he's probably one of the most likely people on his team to have heard of them and be a fan of them. The actually reference was really funny. The first time I ever saw that sketch, is was actually during Wimbledon, and it'll always be one of my favourites.
Other than that, I don't really have much to say. Heather's apology was a nice touch. I like how you've made her a bit nicer and shown other sides to her. It makes her feel less flat and archetypical, which is nice. I also like that you're giving DJ more focus. Even if he is a supporting character, at least he's an interesting and significant one. I was pretty disappointed when the Eagles lost,
because their dishes sounded a lot nicer because I think I knew who'd be going home. However, it was good that you made Lindsay's mistake understandable and realistic so that it didn't feel contrived.
- As I noted on LTDI’s TV Tropes page, Cody is my go-to character for references to two of my favorite entertainment franchises, Star Trek and Monty Python. He’s made references to both in earlier chapters (e.g. describing Eva as “a Klingon chick” during the contestant intros and the “nudge, nudge” reference in the phobia confession scene) and you can expect more such references in future chapters, most notably the eating challenge. (Two words: Crunchy Frog.)
- As for fanfic writers often making Dawn a massive screen hog, I’ll give you fair warning that she’s going to dominate the next chapter—but fear not, it won’t last. After all, my main reason for making Katie’s curse real is that it provided a logical setup to give Dawn a couple of big scenes. Besides, she’s not the only intern to have a big scene in this story. Alejandro did during the cliff diving challenge, and Amy will relatively late in the story. And as you and I have both noted, the fact that Dawn’s not a contestant means that her “screen hog” potential is limited.
- Slowly but surely, D.J. is getting more to do. To be honest, his temperament isn’t well suited for this kind of game, and the main reason he's still in the game is because I realized early in the planning process that he needed to be in a certain late episode. Just as Noah was a victim of the elimination order following the storylines, D.J. is a beneficiary of that. Speaking of Noah, this was another instance (the first being Trent’s elimination) of the vote scrounging providing all the elimination drama, with the ceremony itself being treated as a fait accompli. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:00, August 2, 2014 (UTC)
Seventeenth Night Discussion & Polls
Seventeenth Night Polls
Seventeenth Night Discussion
I know it's been a while since most of the Muskies have had much screen time, but bear with me. With the curse subplot and Dawn's "guest star" appearance out of the way--apparently--you'll start seeing more balanced coverage again. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 23:10, September 1, 2014 (UTC)
I had homework to do, so I couldn’t comment exactly when I saw it, but I’m done now. I'm super psyched it’s out, and it was wonderful!
I just love how you did Dawn. I know some people are unsure of mystical nature, but I’d loved it here (considering this is a legend it felt right).
Hmm, so the wendigo is spiritual in nature. It sounds like Katie is very easy to be possessed by a wendigo, perhaps she may be yet (I’m calling cannibalistic Katie right now).
I flipped when Dawn said they weren’t alone. Based on what you told me, I guessed it was Izzy and sure enough. And now Katie can see auras? I feel like that won’t be the last we see of her doing that.
Izzy and Dawn have a previous connection, why am I not surprised? The different names threw me for a loop for a little bit. I do love that Dawn addressed her and Sunshine both. I suspect Dawn was one of those psychics who worked for cops at one point.
And woah Izzy just ate that lizard, not to surprised there. And it sounds like Izzy has multiple personality disorder…is she Mike also? (joking of course). And woah, Dawn teleported, we all know it. So it’s not a wendigo, but there is a wenidgo here. So cannibal Katie is still a possibility, or perhaps someone else gets possessed. I admit I like the idol curse here, if only because of the fun mysticism going on here.
And now I’m worried Katie will stay long enough that she’ll have to go back to Boney Island. We already lost Harold, we can’t lose Katie too! I also like the idea of Gwen and Dawn having a friendship. And I really enjoyed that poem after Dawn mentions the old ways; I like poems that go in numerical lists like that, for some reason.
And I also love a Katie and Gwen friendship, I’m glad to see they’ve grown closer. And I really like we’re getting to see a spell. I laughed when it said ‘the mystic left the cabin-normally, by using the door.’ I like how you had to specify it.
And I agree with Courtney and Gwen that the love notes were written by Noah, but I’m sticking by my theory there from Tyler to Eva. And so Gwen will need Dawn’s help for another story for another time? Glad to hear there will be more Dawn!
I also love Eva was taught yoga by Bridgette; not only does it fit Bridgette’s character but shows a friendship between the two, which I like. I also like it showing Eva is trying to change. And Courtney and Leshawna doing it a great touch.
And a mystic note that only Katie can read? Things are getting crazy. Glad the name thing was addressed with, I was curious about the Becky and Angie (though Becky is still iffy).
And Dawn just cast a magic spell; my mind is officially blown. Poor Courtney though, getting lost like that. I guess you have no choice but to believe in her now, huh Courtney?
When Katie mentioned wizard I was almost expecting Leonard to pop out. After LTDI, you ought to write a story about Dawn because I love her magic angle and her whole family backstory. Her company from a firm of sorcerers is both humorous and enticing. I immediately fall in love with the song here (the actor in the video is phenomenal).
And then things get any crazy with the spirits. So Ravi and Sunshine are spirits, eh? Did Dawn give them to Izzy?
I loved the other chant and I feel very enchanted by it all. I could see everything so vividly too; Dawn becoming wraith like, the glow and then how it all faded into normalcy. And so even though Dawn says the idol is all okay, it doesn’t sound we’ve seen the last of it…
“…Dawn glided in as silently as a moonbeam and sat down beside her.” I love that writing for some reason. And so Gwen has a guardian angel? More and more questions. And I was wondering about Dawn healing her memory myself, but I’m not surprised she can’t.
All in all, the mystical show was completely worth the wait for me. It had some great moments, answered a few questions while bringing up more and was something different from the use, but was still very welcome.
And even better, that’s not all of it! There’s still more of the chapter <3
Chris does bring up a good point; unlike canon, everyone (for the most part) seems to be getting along. I like how Chris knows what to expect from Lindsay also.
I love Courtney and Gwen’s friendship here; they should become amateur detectives.
And here comes Ella’s LTDI debut! (I also love that Ella and Dawn may interact more, given that’s another story for another time.) I loved in it chat, and I love it here still. The added poem was also wonderful.
So Heather and Gwen made a truce? That sounds way too easier than it should have. I feel Heather may back out on it. Still, it got my Heather x Cody shipping senses tingling. I also enjoyed Beth blushing (is it wrong I’m still not sure on the mom yet? There is so much ship teasing here. Although, my theory that it’s Chris is still too sound to throw out).
And woo, Beth facing her fear with the ants! I suspected Chris would fire some liquid at Heather (I can’t remember if the explosives were there in canon or not though). I do like Chris gave Gwen a better chance with Ezekiel’s harder path. And again, woo to Beth saving his life and leading the Muskies in a win!
And I’m not sure if I should be happy that Courtney isn’t jealous of Beth and Ezekiel or not. That pun she made was wonderful though.
And no more Elle for a time! Is it wrong I love the interns this much? I think I enjoy side characters coming in to a story, which fits an epic or legend I think.
I like Eva and Duncan’s little conversation before the dish preparation, it showed their softer sides. The tense build up with the preparing was so unnerving though. I’m kind of sad Eva chickened out, even if it was for the best.
And Katie actually trying to poison Heather? I doubt that but at the same time it sounds like something’s up…
All in all, I adored this chapter. It delivered on a lot and had a lot of great characters moments and some interesting foreshadowing. As I said earlier, it was completely worth the wait. But let me ask you this? If you ain't not a super villain, than why would you need a bulletproof face? 02:13, September 2, 2014 (UTC)
- The thicket scene implied that Katie could only see auras whilst her psychic link with Dawn was in effect (“borrowing” Dawn’s powers, so to speak, and Dawn wasn’t even sure it would work) and that Katie only saw the Izzy/Sunshine aura because it was so blazing. You may recall that in the 16th Night part of this scene, Katie tried to see Dawn’s and her own auras and failed, partly because she didn’t know what she was looking for.
- I’ll probably state some of this in later chapters, but you’re pretty much on target about Dawn’s connection to the RCMP. My thought is that the RCMP and probably the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) have engaged Wells & Company Family Sorcerers as contractors or consultants from time to time, and that Dawn probably participated in some of these gigs, possibly as an apprentice still learning the ropes. I figure that magically obtained evidence probably wouldn’t be admissible in court, so Wells & Company’s services to the RCMP are mostly limited to tracking down fugitives or otherwise pointing investigators in the right direction.
- Concerning Izzy: The implication is that she’s schizophrenic, and has been off her meds for a while. Eighth Night implied that she stopped taking her meds sometime before the talent show, and quite possibly before she arrived on the island; so to that extent, I suppose you could consider her a more realistic counterpart to Mike. (Speaking of whom, Mike won’t appear in this story, but a later chapter will mention him.) As for the name game, you may recall that I once wrote another story where “Becky” was Izzy’s real name.
- I wouldn’t be surprised if my treatment of Dawn turns out to be one of the story’s more polarizing elements, but your 16th Night comments regarding mysticism made it pretty clear that you would probably like what I did with her. Sunshine and Ravi would indeed seem to be spirits—if they actually exist anywhere but in Izzy’s head. (There’s always the possibility that suppressing them could be a medication “side effect” that Izzy doesn’t like.) The scene was purposely ambiguous as to whether the Pixie Chicks actually did anything, or whether Dawn was just humoring Izzy. There’s also the possibility, as suggested in the previous chapter, that Dawn subscribes to a different definition of “real”.
- Being able to vividly see a scene is the whole point of detailed descriptions, and worrying about Katie means that you care what happens to her, so it sounds like I’m doing my job as a writer. As for Gwen, she does indeed have a guardian angel, but there’s nothing supernatural about him. Dawn was referring to Cody, who has influence with Heather (because she needs his vote) and is using that influence to protect Gwen. Speaking of which, your shipping sense might be on to something. After all, a boyfriend is a more reliable vote than a semi-friend who actually wants something in return for his cooperation…
- As for the mundane (as opposed to mystical) events of this chapter, Beth didn’t really save Zeke’s life, although it was probably thanks to her that he won the race. As Gwen’s fall illustrated, the rock climbing test was simply not as dangerous as Chris suggested, although serious injury was still possible. The fact that Gwen was not hurt, when she easily could have been, was meant to suggest (however ambiguously) that Dawn’s warding charm is probably working. And yes, the explosives are canonical, but were cartoonishly powerful in the original.
- Beth/Zeke is indeed the new ship tease I mentioned in the Subscriber Alert, and I’ve paired them up before. In fact, I teased a possible new triangle by dropping a hint that Courtney may be more jealous than she realizes, although you seem to have interpreted that hint as a pun. Courtney may think that she sees Zeke as just a friend, but the previous chapter also had a hint that she may be kidding herself… Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 01:45, September 3, 2014 (UTC)
I completely love this long chapter, and I love what you've done with both Dawn and Ella, and knowing that Izzy is friends with Dawn is excellent! :D I'm hoping for more of this wonderful story. :) I'm certainly hoping that Gwen sticks close to Katie so no wendigos get her.
Also, I've read wonderful Rhonda's review, and your response, and I really have nothing to add. Thanks, Rhonda :D Beth and Zeke might be the best couple on the island. ;) Hope they figure that out, too. ^_^ Now we just need more Noah. :D
I'm really looking forward to this fugu story. And the next two challenges. :) Great writing, and I'm always "hungry" for more. :P Keep up the great writing <3 Jay JLOM Since there was no time like the present, we decided to present the present. xD 16:59, October 15, 2014 (UTC)
Somehow I goofed and didn't read "part 3" of this chapter, and therefore missed the fugu challenge. I finished it and loved it!! Also, much as I may wish to know what fugu tastes like, I'd probably never have any interest in actually trying it. I don't need that kind of "excitement" in my life. xD Still fun to try vicariously through reading about it. ;)
I absolutely adore your beautiful descriptions of the actions taking place. :D “…the campers…knew neither hunger nor thirst nor fatigue…” was a beautiful paragraph, for it sounded in itself much like a Disney movie, and you know how much I like Ella. <3 The following fish poetry was fitting, too. And your description of Lindsay raising her hand to ask a question followed by Chris asking his question differently to negate her question had me in stitches. xD Very in character for both of them! xD
During the climbing challenge, your ability to describe what was going on gave me such a vivid visual that I not only cringed a bit, but couldn’t help but giggle some, too. The ants “investigating the new addition to the local terrain” was a virtual photograph, and I had to read it twice since the visual I got from that was so fun!
- That first revelation of Ella's power is one of my favorite descriptive bits in the whole story. It's based in part on an Irish myth I read once ("The wooing of Etain", if you must know). As for things like the ants, er, exploring Beth, the whole point of this sort of description is to paint a picture. I'm pleased that most readers seem to think I do a good job of this. I've discovered that I like writing for Dawn and Ella, and I think they make natural buddies. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 21:58, May 17, 2015 (UTC)
Eighteenth Night Discussion & Polls
Eighteenth Night Polls
Eighteenth Night Discussion
I know this is a relatively short chapter (about 7500 words) but I simply couldn't pass up that cliffhanger. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:30, December 17, 2014 (UTC)
I love how Katie is still her wonderful sweet innocent self, even with her memory difficulties. That’s just too wonderful that she made enough sashimi for everyone! :D Happily, that makes us not respect Heather even more. Why is Heather blaming Katie for Heather's lack of trust? And I love your Lindsiot-Lite name! xD
I’d forgotten to mention in my previous chapter comments that I really like the Beth-Ezekiel pair-up. Hope they become more involved soon.
Bravo Tyler! I'm actually amazed that he succeeded, but my respect for him is a lot higher, now. :D And I chuckled when Eva rewarded Duncan for mouthing off. xD I lol’d at “trapezoids”. :D
I loved that Katie and Gwen were worried about bad luck on the hill challenge, but decided to trust in their warding. Great conversation, too, since only those two were able to understand their meaning. And us, of course. ;)
Eeeep!! :o Ella’s words are more prophetic than she knew? Protect Ella from Chris!!! D: Don’t let anything happen to her!!! D”;
Aaaaaaah!! D8 What a horrible cliffhanger!!!! O8 That’s a ghastly !! You’ve done it again! I totally don’t like this cliffhanger, but happily I can just zoom on to the next chapter since I’m a whole chapter behind right now. :P SO exciting!!!! :D JustLittleOlMe Lil Jay JLOM Jay-Z Jay-cobb Jayneneh Lady Gideon 13:01, May 15, 2015 (UTC)
- Heather’s not blaming Katie for anything, she’s blaming herself for (in her mind) overestimating Katie’s intelligence. More to the point, Heather believes that listening to her guilty conscience is what bit her in the butt, and she thinks the answer is to not listen to her conscience anymore. The implication is that Heather will become more ruthless, or at least try to.
- Beth and Ezekiel seem to me a natural pairing, but she does have a potential rival. The course of true love never runs smoothly in drama, let alone Total Drama.
- In the trapeze test, I figured it would be just like Tyler to succeed in spite of himself. As for Eva and Duncan, I’ve long regarded their mutual animosity as the story’s most intense player/player conflict.
- Despite the way Chris treats the interns, i.e. as supplies instead of people, he’s not necessarily the biggest threat to them, at least not directly. The “Boney Island Massacre”, for example, was strictly speaking not his fault beyond the fact that it was reckless of Chris to put the interns (let alone the campers) in such a dangerous area in the first place; so even if someone can protect Ella from Chris, that might not be enough. I have to admit, though, your plea gave me a vivid mental picture of Chris twirling his mustache (if he had one) after tying Ella to the railroad tracks.
- I was rather proud of this chapter’s cliffhanger. If it makes you want to read on to see what happens, then it’s doing its job. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 15:00, November 9, 2015 (UTC)
I'm way too behind on this, but I'm trying to get back on track :p
Hmm, a here flaw in the strategy of Heather’s gameplay; can she trust anyone? I didn’t really realize it but that’s what these challenges were suppose to be about in canon, so I’m glad you actually offered an angle on that here. Still, this will bite Heather in the butt.
You keep coming up with great ways to describe food, and calling Chef’s a ‘violation of natural law’ made me crack up xD And I love Eva’s diss against Heather, and the hilarity of Heather’s own epic fail. And so that was what was up with Katie’s fugu stunt. She is a sweetheart.
Nice twist to see its Courtney whose the apple shooter (and I enjoyed her banter with Duncan). And I figured Chris would rub in the penalty to the teams, though it was a nice touch to make it the blindfolds. Also, Rodney cameos as an intern!
Of course when Heather puts the terms in fashion terms Lindsay becomes an expert shooter. And it did add a little skill to it, with the campers having to explain to their shooters how to aim. I also enjoyed Courtney’s little dig at Tyler.
And a Henry Hall song! I loved Henry Hall since I heard a song of his in a videogame. And a variation of this song was used on Barney once I remember from my childhood.
Yeah, I’d be a bit worried Eva, though Tyler can do responses well. And Chris was obviously going to choose Leshawna the whole time. I wouldn’t be surprised if he would’ve chosen Eva anyway, picking the biggest girls and the guys who’d struggle most. Cody’s vow was very sweet. And I love how Leshawna asks Cody, that sounds just like her. You write teenagers better than I do.
Haha, of course Tyler messes up so thank goodness that Eva didn’t jump. And I love how Tyler catches her. I’m claiming this support for my theory he’s leaving the love notes for Eva! And Leshawna and Cody have an awkward kind of sexual moment as well. I could ship them.
Well, I know this is sledding challenge but I enjoy it that Lindsay had to model that bikini. And the love-note subplot hits a new snag. Courtney thinks Tyler may know something…hmm. I wonder if they thought to ask an intern about it.
And wow, this course sounds deadly. Like I’m expecting something to go wrong. And I hadn’t noticed what Courtney had said about Judgment Day but that makes a lot of sense. Naturally, Lindsay has to be the navigator. Chris does make a good point about why Leshawna and Lindsay can’t be blindfolded. He didn’t say someone else like say Heather could do it, but I doubt Heather would bring up that idea.
And oh yeah, Katie’s curse could hurt both of them really bad. But Dawn fixed it right? RIGHT? I feel like we are setting up for something bad to happen to them. And oh no, foreshadowing of horrible things to happen to Ella? I can only assume when Ella says she could stay there forever that means she’s going to die on the island.
Oh, I can feel the tension mounting. It reminds me of the build up to a rollercoaster, just waiting for the drop. Poor Ezekiel and DJ, though I’m glad they’re alive. Or I thought they were alive, but Zeke wasn’t with DJ so I’m scared but I don’t think the homeschooled boy died, he’s been too focused on and we’ve already had Harold’s death.
And I knew something bad was going to happen to Lindsay and Gwen! I’m worried to find out what…
Overall, an excellent chapter! It was very funny, good pacing, tension and a really great cliffhanger to end on. Hopefully I will catch up soon! But let me ask you this? If you ain't not a super villain, than why would you need a bulletproof face? 04:22, October 18, 2015 (UTC)
- It’s good to have you back, Rhonda. I missed your long reviews. I can tell that you’re the sort who jots down your thoughts as you go, because that’s the approach that typically yields the longest and most detailed reviews. Onward…
- There are any number of teammates Heather can trust—if she allows herself to do, and that’s the rub. As noted when Cody suggested backstabbing Sadie instead of Katie, Heather fears treachery precisely because she’s treacherous herself. Basic projection, as any psychologist would tell you.
- Although the challenge is ostensibly about building trust, both LTDI Chris and his canon counterpart preferred to see trust pairs crash and burn—canon Chris because he wanted to exploit the existing distrust for laughs, and LTDI Chris because he wants to foment distrust in the belief that it’s better for ratings if the campers don’t get along.
- Although “improving” the canon season was never my purpose with LTDI, the original William Tell test did have a gaping plot hole, and LTDI Leshawna mentioned it: blindfolding the shooter makes it all a matter of luck, and so reveals nothing about the shooter’s trustworthiness.
- Concerning the trapeze pairs: without Eva “volunteering”, Chris might have chosen Beth, who probably weighs as much as Eva, is less coordinated, and hadn’t yet had to trust anyone. As for the sexual innuendos, you’ve said yourself that this story is full of ship teases. The trapeze test gave you two more.
- In canon, Lindsay modeled her new bikini for the Seadoo race in episode 13. I moved it up to episode 11 because I have other plans for Lindsay in the Seadoo race. And of course, the hideously dangerous ATV course sets up the story’s biggest-budget cliffhanger to date, with not one, not two, but three lives hanging in the balance.
- The main reason why Heather wasn’t an option for the ATV race is because she had been in two tests already: the rock climbing as the trustee, and the fugu tasting as the truster. The pairings were set so that everyone took part in at least one test, but nobody would have no more than two. Throw in Heather’s unscheduled third turn as Lindsay’s spotter during the William Tell test, and a fourth assignment would have been excessive.
- Dawn’s intervention did not so much “fix” the curse as provide a way to shield Katie from its effects. (That’s why Katie can’t take the necklace off for any reason until she leaves the island for good.) The Storyteller’s choice of words would seem to suggest that Ella will find her fate on the island, although one reviewer on fanfiction.net suggested that she might become a hermit or something, settling down on the island after everyone else has left and presumably having the island’s critters take care of her. On the other hand, she is an intern, with all that implies.
- I like your roller coaster analogy, and I’m sure it doesn’t hurt the tension building to know that the worst can happen in this story. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 15:00, November 9, 2015 (UTC)
Nineteenth Night Discussion & Polls
Nineteenth Night Polls
Nineteenth Night Discussion
Kudos to Rhonda the stalker fan! for being the first to correctly guess (publicly, anyway) who was writing the love notes to whom. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 07:31, March 31, 2015 (UTC)
Gwen’s injuries remind me of Legacy, and that saying that God protects babies, fools and *fill in the blank* seems to fit Lindsay to a T. She never seems to get hurt, which is wonderful, but she seems to be part of most accidents. :P
I’m loving how Ella and Dawn are using nature together to search for Zeke. Poor DJ. And WOW!!! Chris doesn’t even act like he cares!! D8 I’m hoping something truly nasty happens to him eventually, like that 5 years in prison thing that “Revenge of the Island” indicated.
Awww!! Two more gulls and a hawk to add to the entourage of friendly birdies. :D Glorious song for Zeke, especially fitting since he’s the one that suggested songs for each camper who left as a farewell tribute. <3 Love seeing Shawn! And Beth and Zeke are beginning to really notice each other! <3 And I love the nickname Zipperface. :D
Whoohoo on the rewards!! :D I especially love Gwen’s. :D For Gid: Just after the girls find out who’s writing love notes to whom, Duncan says, “you chicks might not get along…” The Y is not capitalized. I still need to read part 3 of this chapter, too, but I had lots of notes written for it that I wanted to post. :) Jay JLOM I did not object to the object. xD 16:36, May 15, 2015 (UTC)
- Of course Chris acts like he doesn’t care. He’s Chris, that’s what he does. And now that you mention it, I haven’t been very nice to Gwen in my stories, have I? Yes, I did throw her a bone with the idols, but it was very much a double edged sword, considering what she had to go through to get them.
- The music video accompanying the Dawn/Ella search scene was really just there to add color. (And frankly, “glorious” isn’t the word I would have used to describe it. It’s a melancholy mood, but whatever.) The song from Alexander Nevsky wasn’t really for Ezekiel specifically, and isn’t necessarily what Ella was actually singing. It could have been, I suppose, but it seems more likely that Ella was singing something she made up on the spot. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 05:33, November 19, 2015 (UTC)
I have read every chapter so far and I have to say, I absolutely love this story (and it's actually, currently, the only story I'm reading on here [except for Lilac's story, but the episodes haven't been updated and I don't want to continue just in case she has plans to do that soon]). I'm not really a person who's good with reviews, so that's all. Just wanted to let you know I'm enjoying what I'm reading. You Gotta' Risk It To Get The Biscuit. 20:05, May 15, 2015 (UTC)
I just finished part 3 of this chapter. I really enjoyed TD’s “Basic Straining”, so I’m glad this has the same story format. :D Hatchet is both fun and funny, and is a fabulous character. Thank you for remembering, and doing something about, Gwen’s injured arm. <3 I always grumbled as a kid when TV series’ characters would be badly injured one week, and perfectly healthy the following week. Gotta say, though, that since she has several cracked or fractured ribs, just breathing has gotta hurt some. In reality she wouldn’t be able to carry anything heavy or maybe even lift that arm, so carrying The Generalissimo over uneven ground is still not believable, but at least she has the shoulder wrap. :)
I love that “Patience” song you’ve put in! Gilbert and Sullivan operas are mostly a lot of fun, and their songs are always entertaining. As a side note, the paragraph starting just above the “Patience” video insert has this sentence: “Ten minutes later, all the campers save Gwen stood in two cluster[s] on the dock as Hatchet approached.” Please note the lack of “clusters” on the dock. ;) Thank you!
Thank you also for telling us that Hatchet barely touched the kids with his stick. For Hatchet to touch the kids with anything but gentleness would be terribly OOC for him, imho. Especially considering Gwen’s condition at this stage.
Where did Izzy get Californium anyway? Hey! Looks like more campers’ll be out soon!! :D lol Just kidding. :P Brett’s mother is a bit of a sadist. ;) These cliffhangers are SO cliffhangery that I can hardly wait for the next chapter! Great job, as always! :D
In the 19th Night Notes, the Canadian Shield is [a] large area of exposed rock… Tiny typos, but worth noting :) JustLittleOlMe Lil Jay JLOM Jay-Z Jay-cobb Jayneneh Lady Gideon 12:41, May 18, 2015 (UTC)
- I envisioned the campers arranged on the sides of the chairs instead of fore and aft, in which case Gwen could contribute using only her good arm. Chris said that Gwen had “a couple of cracked ribs”, which I envisioned as little more than hairline fractures; so while Gwen is undoubtedly in pain, she can still function. And let’s face it, she’s tough.
- My version of Chef is very much a “punch clock villain”, so although there are signs that he does care about the campers, he would not be above roughing them up a little if the situation called for it.
- Where Izzy got californium is a good question, given that the amount needed even for even the bullet-sized sub-tactical bomb she accidentally made is more than there is in the (real) world. Presumably it has something to do with why the RCMP is after her and/or the Marine Base incident Dawn mentioned. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 05:33, November 19, 2015 (UTC)
Wonderful new chapter Gideon! And probably the one I Katie and Sadie squealed most at.
First I see Brett has completed his homework earlier, huh? Is this the first instance of this occasion?
I was expecting Lindsay to be okay, after already having to deal with a fire during the talent show. I didn’t think to suspect her gymnastics would save her, but I’m glad she had them. Gwen however…I feared the worst for her. And I was right too.
On the bright side, it brought a very funny moment from Rodney! I enjoyed his sudden crush on Gwen. As for Zeke, I expected him to be okay; we wouldn’t torture too people…right? And hooray for more Ella and Dawn; they would naturally (or should I say ‘naturely’) make an amazing team. And now Dawn has two gull sidekicks? Amazing! I’m guessing the gulls, while I saw a reference to Odin, might also be a reference to Jay?
And of course Beth and Courtney, Zeke’s main girls, went looking for him. Once again, Zeke proves resourceful enough to survive. And now a Shawn cameo! Hooray for Zeke…although not so good for Gwen…
It was a good idea to go to the interns for the love note, though I should have thought that Chris would have them keep it a secret. And I was curious as to why Lindsay and Duncan were sent, I couldn’t remember if they were being punished or not.
I love the trust reward idea, sounds like something I might have to steal for my own fic. Poor Gwen, losing a finger sounds gross. And she maybe out of the game? I doubt it because she’s, as Chris kind of said, she’s good for the story. And I imagine she’d still try and win it for her mom. And now we’re foreshadowing Heather might be physically damaged later…
An immunity idol sounds like a great reward twist, though I’m sure Heather wouldn’t give to Leshawna. And is Leshawna’s cheese allergy a reference to it in TDA (if it was a cheese allergy; they said she didn’t do pizza but then later she ate cheese, bread and sat in tomatoes…). I feel like if Lindsay has the option, she’ll give an immunity idol to Katie (though she may not). I also enjoyed Cody’s little jib at Heather.
And oh no, Eva’s at the chocking block? I don’t think she’d go home, considering she’s one of your favorites (and one of mine in LTDI) but if it’s her or Ezekiel…yeah, her chances are slim. And nice to see D.J. trying to use some strategy.
The rewards were interesting; I figured Cody would’ve given Lindsay the shopping spree but considering it was the Truck Stop, but it was better for the call. And I love Heather’s prize (kind of wish it was a date with Owen though). And of course Katie gets the best reward, it being from a friend.
I expected Chris to reveal idols were option…but not to give them to Gwen. And yay, Gwen is alive! I really enjoyed how she appeared on stage. As for why Chris is giving her such special treatment…well I have my reasons but they involve things I may know so I can’t say…
And so it turns out the loser is…Eva. Not going to lie, I’ll miss her. I loved her and Leshawna’s goodbye to each other. And then of course…
I WAS RIGHT! I feel that happens so rarely (in general) that I feel like celebrating! That ended up being a hilarious yet such cute sendoff! I seriously ship it now. You and me both called it Brett; there were a lot of signs I should’ve picked up on earlier too but I ended up guessing correct.
And so now the boot camp episode is next! And wow Heather, way to just announce to Katie you’ll vote for her if things turn sour. That’s not the smartest move. Especially, now that Gwen and Leshawna are playing strategically.
And now Sky is an intern! And the military challenge is already starting off fun! I love the cannon idea, a Hunger Games reference, and am just excited about more Chef in general.
And now people have radiation poisoning? I wasn’t expecting that to come up; I know Californium is radioactive but still…and does that mean Izzy might be poisoned with radiation too? Wonderful cliffhanger, though I’m not sure how this will be resolved.
Another awesome chapter; it wasn’t too challenge filled but I liked the character interactions that happened along with a lot of pay-off and so new build up. Excited to see where this goes! What could possibly go wrong? 03:02, October 26, 2015 (UTC)
- The fact that Brett did all his homework the previous day is how you know it’s a Sunday. His mother began the story on a Wednesday, in case you don’t want to figure it out.
- The ATV race was the most dangerous challenge since the cliff diving, and arguably the most dangerous to date, so it was only fitting that it should have multiple casualties (the term “casualties” includes both dead and wounded) although Zeke’s injuries were mostly cosmetic. The canon version of the trust challenge also had a high casualty rate, with Trent, Courtney and Heather all winding up in the infirmary.
- Speaking of Zeke, the main purpose of Beth and Courtney joining the search was to (further) tease the potential triangle, since Zeke ended up surviving and neither girl brought any unique skills to the search. And no, Dawn’s gulls weren’t a reference to Wifey’s Gull, we simply drew inspiration from the same source, i.e. the ubiquitous “ring-necked” gull in the original. That’s why I chose seagulls instead of ravens, even though ravens (or at least crows) would be available in that region. The search also marks the point where Ella joins Dawn on the Spotlight Stealing Squad and basically becomes Dawn’s sidekick.
- Chris did say that Lindsay and Duncan were to report to him “to receive punishment”, but it turned out that the only “punishment” was having to work a shift in the kitchen, since Chef wasn’t there to make the campers’ dinner. You may recall that the search scene included a passing mention of the plane heading “in the general direction of Sudbury”. That bit was there so observant readers could figure out, with the help of certain later references, that Chef and Gwen were aboard the plane, flying to Sudbury to get an MRI on Gwen’s shoulder.
- Feel free to “steal” my challenge reward idea. I’ll admit it took me a while to come up with the idea of having each Eagle choose a teammate’s reward, but it had the inestimable virtue of tying into the challenge. I retain canonical challenge rewards when available; but when not, I try to find something related to the challenge. (That’s not a requirement, though. The sightseeing cruise had no connection to the talent show challenge which preceded it.) On a related note, I must admit I found it amusing when you mentioned the shopping spree at the "Truck Stop" when you presumably meant the Tuck Shoppe.
- No, Leshawna’s “bad cheese experience” has nothing to do with lactose intolerance. It’s something much worse, but that’s another story for another time—say, the eating challenge. I don’t recall Leshawna having any canonical problem with cheese. Courtney is the one who is canonically lactose intolerant, which isn’t the same as an allergy. (An intolerance comes from not having the enzyme needed to properly digest a given food, and symptoms affect the digestive system. An allergy is an immune system response, and symptoms can affect any system in the body.)
- Now that you mention it, I seem to recall that I did indeed tell you something way back when that just might have something to do with Chris’ reason(s) for giving Gwen special treatment. Speaking of which, the disposition of the idols is a plot twist which I doubt many people saw coming.
- At last, the mystery of the love notes is revealed. And yes, the trapeze incident which you claimed as “evidence” was indeed meant to be the final clue. And now you know why Tyler joined D.J. in trying to vote off Zeke.
- In deciding to warn Katie of her situation, Heather was facing a bit of a dilemma: should she warn Katie, and risk betrayal if the Eagles lose? Or not warn her, and increase the risk of the Eagles losing in the first place? Heather really doesn’t want to lose Katie because she’s still useful, however annoying, so Heather decided to give warning in hopes of motivating her sometimes-reluctant ally. I decided that Heather wouldn’t be too concerned about a potential betrayal because (1) she doesn’t seem to have too much respect for Katie’s intelligence; and (2) there’s no sign that Heather knows about, or even suspects, Katie’s arrangement with Gwen. Will this attempt to motivate Katie come back to bite our favorite Dragon Queen? Time alone will answer.
- Concerning the radiation poisoning: the real problem isn’t the alpha particles from the normal radioactive decay of californium, but the neutron/gamma pulse from the runaway fission reaction that leveled half of Boney Island. Alpha particles don’t penetrate well, so alpha-emitting materials usually pose little danger unless ingested or inhaled, but neutrons and gamma rays are both highly penetrative and can easily reach a victim’s internal organs. However, as Cody noted, hydrogen-rich materials such as water are good at absorbing neutrons. (I don’t know how good water is at absorbing gamma rays, but they’re not the main problem. Fission reactions produce three or four times more neutron radiation than gamma.) As for Izzy, you may recall that she took refuge in the water, later surfacing between canoe mates Tyler and Eva (yet another clue of their eventual hookup) so she’s probably fine. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 05:33, November 19, 2015 (UTC)
Twentieth Night Discussion & Polls
Twentieth Night Polls
Twentieth Night Discussion
My apologies for the delays in getting this chapter posted. This is regrettably becoming a habit, but I'm going to try to get my update schedule back on track. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 04:27, July 11, 2015 (UTC)
I love that you told us Brett’s grades were improving due to his continued diligence on his homework. Seems like kids should probably hear that every once in a while :D Hahahaha
Your scene with Leonard is great! And the way Lindsay is butchering names is wonderful! I giggle every time she’s saying names of people. <3
I adore your marksmanship challenge! Your description of certain targets being shot is hilarious!! :D And so beautifully painted in words <3 And I love how you researched the guns and firing positions … although, I had to look up the crab crawl shooting position since I couldn’t quite visualize how it could work.
Ugh! Grease for dinner. *blech* I used to work at McDonny’s, so I would have a hard time doing that. Haha Perfect for the story, tho, and beautifully written :D Speaking of which, since the Total Drama is set in Ontario, the essay writing should have some French speakers. Fun! And great way to introduce Scarlett, too! Also, I LOVE the Dragoon patter-song! Fun that Gwen knows it, and it actually suits her personality.
I’ve noticed that when campers “fall in battle”, the cannon sounds. Very apropos for the Hunger Games references. I love how similar the two stories are, if you look at them closely. Great chapter, and very in-depth writing.
Bwahahaha :D Yinless yang. Brilliant! Hahahaha
I love how you’re flirting with the idea of Beth and Ezekiel. Great way to keep that story alive. And fabulous kitchen raid! We’ll have to find out if Chef arranged for it or not. I’m guessing that’s why he was there when they raided. <3 And why there was so much food available. ;)
Thank you for another brilliant chapter! :D I hope you don’t lose your love for this story, because your writing of it is fabulous, and it's almost like seeing the original Total Drama all over again, but with far more detail … and singing! Hahhaa Looking forward to your future chapters! Jay JLOM I did not object to the object. xD 08:01, August 28, 2015 (UTC)
- Lindsay’s name butchery has always been one of her most endearing traits. “Fawn” for Dawn was an obvious fit for Dawn’s characterization. I figured “Spot” for Scott might get a chuckle out of some readers. What the footnotes didn’t mention, but probably should have, is that “Lemuel” for would-be magical healer Leonard refers to Dr. Lemuel Gulliver, “originally a surgeon and later the captain of several ships”, the protagonist of Gulliver’s Travels.
- As mentioned in the story’s footnotes, the antique muzzleloading cannon replaces the canonical bell, and the campers fire it themselves, so there’s some delay between fall and “announcement”. It bears mention that Master Chief Hatchet granted a small mercy to the campers and (mainly) the interns by having the three essay writing washouts wait until morning to fire the "Cannon of Shame". Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:16, July 10, 2016 (UTC)
Well this has been severly overdue and I’m sorry for the long wait Gideon! Hopefully with Summer now here my comments will come out more quickly.
First off, I think we’ve talked about Brett’s grades slowly improving due to doing his home, but I’m glad to see it really paying off! Hmm…it does make me question if his intelligence and or study habits are a reflection of his parents? I will say that I might wait to post them on the WMG on the Tropes page, but I think I’ve narrowed down the identity of Brett’s mother to a few candidates and this acing of the test really sticks out who is a likely candidate in my opinion…
I don’t know if I mentioned it last time, but I think the radiation sickness is a clever idea. LTDI’s goal was about playing elements for laughs that were drama and while I figured that was down with the larger and more realistic explosion of Izzy’s bomb, the radiation poison makes a lot more sense (and I wouldn’t be surprised if ‘a story for another time’ was said around there…)
I think its rather humorous that Scott has become the back up medic leader, given how canon seasons make him come off as not too bright. Then again that kind of shows how series these interns deaths are that he’s that position. I’d say that Alejandro is the highest ranking intern, so is Scott the second highest? Or are they in their own divisions?
I like the mysterious edge of B and it makes sense he’s the one building moving targets. And Leonard is appearing too! I’m all for these guys getting some more attention, given their short tenure in canon. And Lindsay seems like the type to enjoy Leonard.
I also like the idea in setting up Leonard and Dawn in having a bit of a conflict (I could see the two as foils). I wasn’t expecting Leonard to actually be magical…but I like the idea he is. I predict that will cause problems in the future as Dawn feared. And I do get the feeling that Leonard won’t likely make it off the island alive.
I do find the exploring of magic in here interesting…and its prominence makes me go from thinking possibly real but vague in LTDI to one hundred real, no doubt. Which makes me wonder…if Dawn does come from a line of wizards why is she here on this show? Certainly her family history (and talent) are likely to get a better, less lethal job. I do have a theory on why (I need to update the WMGC, sorry I haven’t) and it relates to a certain redhead…
I like the shooting range challenge; its nice the campers get to blow off steam and have fun at a challenge for once. And it just sounds cool. And haha at everyone shooting at Heather…and HAHA at the campers shooting up Chris (who was a robot?).
Also I love Chef decides to have them eat trash! It works as an even bigger push for the food stealing that comes. The stealing of grease is another one of those allowed rule bendings that happen in LTDI that I love.
Is the campers doing a haka a reference to the similar challenge in TD:RR? And the ship tease between Duncan and Courtney and I love Courtney’s response; “I’d rather kiss the wrong end of Owen’s digestive tract.”
I figured Gwen would give out but I like she worked herself hard enough to earn her way to the next round (because Gwen is tough as nails!)
The essay writing was always one of my favorite bits of this challenge is canon and I found it fun here. The serious consequences for Duncan’s actions were really great threats and I liked it got Duncan to do his pushups. Leshawna’s essay is French was another nice twist!
And Scarlett as an intern! Izzy’s evil twin is pretty spot on for her character. Gwen’s poem was also wonderful and I like the other campers are learning poetry thanks to Noah. Also hahaha, I love Leshawna’s essay topic.
Well I’m glad the radiation sickness isn’t that lethal, but affecting their immune system is still not good. And so now there going to manipulate Ella’s magic to heal the others… Also Dawn joining in on the Chris hate, haha I love it!
I feel real bad for Beth; as the smallest and probably close to Izzy given their alliance its no surprise she’s really sick. And kudos to Katie sticking out for Sadie; I love that and wished that the twin’s friendship provided moments of awesome in canon.
Nice grueling pun! And this is an interesting idea; making the kitchen raiding part of the challenge. But the Brick Memorial Kitchen Raid? R.I.P Brick! I wouldn't usually see Brick as the raiding type, but I'm glad he got a reference in the military challenge. I’m guessing this is part of some grander plan, maybe tied to Ella.
And slow the phone, Beth had gotten alcohol for their party? I’m kind of surprised Alejandro helped her out with that, I feel like that could have gotten him in trouble. But that’s pretty realistic to teen parties.
The party’s just getting started so that can’t be Chef Hatchet…can it? Or is it some interns? Izzy? Harold’s ghost?
I really enjoyed this chapter! I enjoyed a lot of the character interactions and Dawn's bigger role in the story, though it does feel a bit like she's become a bigger character than some of the remaining contestants.
I'm excited and a bit nervous to see if you do something similar to the vote rigging in this challenge (a bit that always annoyed me in canon), though played for drama I could like it. I'll need to catch up soon to find out because it looks like you've almost reached the merge... What could possibly go wrong? 18:17, June 13, 2016 (UTC)
- My thought is that the interns, including Scott, are assigned various tasks as needed (at least one previous chapter noted that Chef is generally in charge of the interns’ work schedules) but over time some have gravitated to specific tasks according to specific aptitudes. Scott, you may recall was the quartermaster (in charge of supplies and equipment) during the phobia challenge, but was apparently on medical duty before the talent show. (His first appearance was when he and Alejandro were tending to Courtney after her accident.) Perhaps the need for self-sufficiency on a farm has given Scott a good working knowledge of basic medicine. Alejandro rose to become the de facto Intern-in-Chief due to his charisma and his reality show experience.
- This chapter predated The Ridonculous Race by about a year, but Leonard’s one RR episode validated the notion that he has genuine magical aptitude and simply doesn’t know how to apply it (even if it was probably meant to be just a sight gag). When he and his partner tried to cast a spell to impede the teams behind them, the spell naturally failed; but Leonard’s incantation ended with a flash of lightning in a cloudless desert sky.
- I had a lot of fun writing the marksmanship subchallenge. I grew up around guns and with a fair amount of practice in the shooting sports, mostly dove hunting and informal target shooting (a.k.a. “plinking”). The Chris target is not a robot, it’s a paper portrait over a plywood or sheet metal backing to insure the paintballs rupture when they hit. I envision some kind of wheeled or tracked conveyance at the bottom. The turning targets, which become visible to the shooters only briefly, could have their mechanisms either at the bottom or at the top, the latter being a wire-based system with suspended targets.
- As you may recall, Chef making his trainees eat garbage is canonical, with the main difference in my version being that Courtney and Heather weren’t allowed to opt out. The kitchen grease is likewise based on a prank Duncan and Geoff pulled on Harold in the original, giving him a glass of liquid grease and telling him it was apple juice. (Strangely, canon Chef didn’t seem to have a problem with the pranksters going into the kitchen to get it.) My version of the grease scene is based on my reaction to the original, namely that Harold would probably have regarded grease as one of the more palatable things available if he wasn’t expecting apple juice. On a related note, LTDI Chef saying “kitchen raiding is a basic soldier’s skill” when he decided to allow the “theft” of the kitchen grease was meant to foreshadow the revelation that the later raid might actually be part of the challenge. My version of the grease incident also serves as yet another example of Duncan’s sketchy influence on Ezekiel.
- No, the haka is not a Ridonculous Race reference because, as I noted, this chapter came out about a year before RR. I was familiar with the haka because my DW and I honeymooned in New Zealand (a 21-day coach tour around the main islands) in 2003.
- Dawn’s tale is one which grew in the telling. She was originally going to be a bit character, with a couple of cameos and one substantial scene where she got fed up with Chris and essentially quit. Then, she had a “guest star” chapter in 17th Night, but with no specific plans for a major role in any later chapters. And now here she is, with a prominence rivaling or surpassing not only some of the remaining campers but also the original mauve shirt, Alejandro. As for how she got stuck on the island, that’s a good question, and I have what seems to me a good answer. Simply put, the limits to her precognition/divination abilities have not been established. She may not have been able to see far enough to know what awaited her until it was too late, or those warnings may have been masked or overridden by visions of the good things she would do on the island (helping Katie, “recruiting” Leonard, buddying up with Ella, doing God only knows what with Izzy), or her divinations may have told her only that high adventure awaited (which she’s certainly gotten). As for her more adept relatives, they may have determined/assumed she could take care of herself. I knew the magic/supernatural elements could be (and to some extent, have been) polarizing, so I’m glad to hear you like it, even if this isn’t the first time you’ve told me.
- Yes, Beth got alcohol for the party. Didn’t see that coming, did you? Which was, of course, the point. As for her and/or Al possibly getting into trouble, they still might, hence the cliffhanger. Concerning the canonical vote rigging (which was actually played for drama in the original, not for laughs) it annoyed me too, mainly because I thought it made much more sense for Harold to set up Duncan rather than Courtney. I’ll grant it provided TD’s first truly shocking elimination, but eliminating Duncan instead of Courtney would have done that just as well and be more logical into the bargain. Without giving away too much, I will say that LTDI will have something unusual pertaining to the boot camp elimination. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:16, July 10, 2016 (UTC)
Twenty-first Night Discussion & Polls
Twenty-first Night Polls
Twenty-first Night Discussion
At one point, I thought this would be a relatively short chapter, at least by this story's standards, and I was expecting to post it on schedule. But then, as the post date approached, I suddenly started getting ideas that I liked too well to pass up, most notably to add dancing to the boot camp party. The result was LTDI's longest chapter to date (15,000 words, plus 1900 words of Notes) and a six-week delay in posting it. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 04:10, October 19, 2015 (UTC)
21.0 comments: :D I love that we found out that Dawn and Chef arranged this feast!! :D Thank you, Gid!!! And I’m so happy you added in this amazing feast and dance night! Especially enjoyed Ella’s singing and the shipping of the campers :D Cody and Tyler really knew how to dazzle Ella. Maybe she’ll do more singing for them! :D Heehee Can hardly wait to read the next three parts of this chapter! :D Jay JLOM There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. xD 09:23, December 17, 2015 (UTC)
21.1 comments: I totally adore the Duncan waking up scene! Haha Whatever happened to the pixie? She’s unharmed, I hope. :) Hahaha! And thank you so much for the Izzy encounter!! :D Love Izzy and all her craziness. I felt that Leonard Kelley was Star Trek related, so I looked up the actor. :D Great name!!!! <3 Kudos. I love the reveal on the campers and Hatchett and Dawn’s involvement. Great idea!! <3 I love that Chief Hatchett cares enough to arrange this treatment! <3 He and Dawn gave this a fair amount of thought, too. The way you wrote the winner winning was lovely. I’m looking forward to the next section. :D JustLittleOlMe Lil Jay JLOM Jay-Z Jay-cobb Jayneneh Lady Gideon 07:50, December 24, 2015 (UTC)
21.2 The fact that this marshmallow of doom resulted in a firing squad was so different as to be funny. I’m also SO HAPPY that we get to see part of the loser’s point of view for the ride, and that Ella and the others are going to visit the Playa de Losers too. Very fun!! I absolutely adore that Courtney was giving morse code during her “post-mortem” confessional. I idolize all the soldiers of WWII that were able to send hidden messages through from behind the lines. One POW gave morse code through blinking his eyes. Amazing!!
21.3 Hahahaha Rodeo Moose Riding and Aerial Chicken Jousting are just too hilarious as sports!! Hahaha The way the Arena Master calls them down is great!! I recognize The Price is Right! :D Every single contestant is called to the front by those words. ^_^ I couldn’t stop giggling as I read these marvelous contests happening! ^_^ They’re awful and they’re funny at the same time!! I love it!! xD
Oooo!! I can hardly wait for the next chapter!! :D These are so wonderful to read!! Keep writing because I’m going to keep reading!! :D xoxo Jay JLOM They were too close to the door to close it. xD 08:58, January 30, 2016 (UTC)
- A large portion of this chapter was written by the seat of my pants, as it were. When I hit upon the idea of adding dancing to the party, I knew I had to include it because the whole setup is such a shipper’s paradise, teasing pairings both likely and strange. The dance and the firing squad were both elaborate scenes written with little planning, because they were 11th hour ideas. I also had to expand Dawn’s exposition scene the next day, because I didn’t realize until the last minute what I had made Tyler do behind his new girlfriend’s back and I didn’t want to make Tyler look like a jerk, but I also didn’t want to cut the Tyler/Cody/Ella scene.
- The Duncshine “morning after” scene is the last of the preview scenes I posted in my blog back in 2010-11 to officially appear into the story. While the standee might have been damaged during Duncan’s freak out—it’s just cardboard, after all—I can assure you the pixie herself is fine. The morning sickness will pass….
- Previous chapters have established that, while Chef can be as harsh as Chris, he lack’s Chris’ callousness and has more of a “father to his men” mindset. His party stratagem was more of the same; and in this case, at least, you can be sure he had Chris’ full approval because, if it worked, it would be a much smaller hit to the show’s budget than standard medical treatments.
- As you may have guessed, Katie’s introspection on the tree was written precisely so most readers—not to mention Katie herself—wouldn’t see her victory coming. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 20:31, December 2, 2016 (UTC)
Sorry for the late reply Gideon, though it does appear I'm almost caught up. I remember reading the rest of the boot camp challenge at one point, and thought I had notes, but alas I cannot find them. Oh well, I probably need a rereading anyway.
Of course Ella and Dawn were there. And naturally they aren’t going to rat them out. I mean as pointed out Dawn did set them up to it. And Ella? As if.
Honestly, I had never considered Ella mystical, at least not in the way I did Dawn. I sort of thought of Ella’s singing similar to Justin’s good looks, so good it was almost supernatural but not necessarily magic. But reexamining it, along with her role in LTDI, Ella’s voice is rather magical (and given she’s based on fairy tale princesses, she probably is magical).
I love the idea of RWMP; I need a Dawn and Ella buddy cop movie right now (with Leonard helping too). Really, Dawn and Ella make great foils, with Dawn being the experienced magician and Ella, the powerful but unaccustomed magic user.
Ella knowing drinking songs is great, although it also means that they are about to get REAL drunk. I enjoyed both. The first had very nice build up; I can see the pigging out montage.
Heather wanting to get to know Beth…hmm…that’s an interesting parallel…
Not surprised that Courtney is the first to ask for a dance or lead, and not surprised that she’s asking Ezekiel either. She’s got it bad! Honestly, at the moment I think she might be the Mother and Ezekiel is the father…who isn’t around for Brett because of something that happens on the show…
Ella being a hopeless romantic with unrealistic ships and deciding to go with Disney songs? Ella is my spirit animal! (Also of course she chose Disney, given who she is…)
I love Beth is now super popular for stealing the beer; a nice twisting for the wannabe.
Ella has the greatest power of all; to make ships canon! Well she almost did for Gwen and Cody (ooh poor Cody). But Ella’s music does have strange powers…
I don’t think you wrote this scene personally for me, but you know I love all the ship teasing going on; Beth and DJ, the canon Lindsay and Tyler, the ironic Heather and Tyler, and the ‘children of the corn’ (wonderful reference). Geez, who am I suppose to ship Ezekiel with?
And turning the porch-kissing scene into a DJ and Courtney ship tease, spiting Duncan? Hahaha, I loved it! I’m beginning to be pretty positive Duncan and Courtney will not be happening in LTDI.
And wow, I did not expect DJ to turn this into a gambit revenge scheme against Ezekiel. To mess with Courtney like that, pretty evil genius. I’m surprised she hadn’t seen the signs, I mean I figured she gets teased about liking Zeke enough. I’m excited to see what happens when Zeke finally picks up on the fact DJ is gunning for him, and the fallout of all that.
Ella has to have very powerful magic if the hottest girls at camp are fighting over Cody.
I was waiting for more DJ and Heather ship teasing. This is turning into a real make out party…
Hehe, I have a feeling I knew who snuck into the boys’ cabin, and I was right. I mean, I did have the unfair advantage of the preview. Still, I love the Sunshine joke. I wish she were here to see it or leave a comment…
I love Izzy says she and Sunshine got off on a bad foot; I remember that from Sunshine’s bio! Her and Izzy fighting for the final spot haha.
The gruel joke was wonderful haha. Ooh no, Katie is still sick. Life just doesn’t let up on the thin twin.
Oh yeah, there’s a challenge to finish too! Heather makes a lot of good points about how anyone will do, although DJ manages to outlast Ezekiel. Leonard Kelly, I’m guessing he’s an original character here.
So the radiation poison is gone? That’s strange…I’m not sure if this is the last we’ll hear of it or not. I mean I didn’t plan on the radiation bomb having lasting effects (which makes me wonder how it’ll effect Izzy…or anyone else for that matter).
So wait, this was Chef’s plan all along? I don’t know if I should be surprised or not. I suppose it was strange that Ella and Dawn stopped by, but I just assumed it was for Ella to be there and sing. Geez, with Ella’s kind of magic who knows what could happen
So these kisses were basically sex. Is that a comment on kissing being the equivalent to sex in cartoons at times? (Note: Read the trivia and it is!)
Dawn mentioning having parties to live life to the fullest…reminds of certain other habits of interns. I remember you said that TDWTH line inspired you, glad to see how it did .
Ella’s wild magic…wild and this show don’t usually mix well for everyone. I have a bad feeling. The fact Gwen was healed faster though is amazing. Is that a joke on the speedy recovery of cartoon characters?
Katie is thinking exactly what I’m thinking; what about the true star of LTDI? Sadie can’t die, can she? I enjoyed hearing Katie get lost in her thoughts, thinking about ‘Dreamy Dan’ and showing how she doesn’t consider her BFF’s weight. She brings up a good point, I wonder who Sadie is bonding with over there. It’d be interesting to see what’s happening at Playa Da Losers.
And oh my gosh Katie won! Just shows how tough Katie is, if everything else she’s survived hasn’t already.
I love she gets a little cross pin for her troubles, and how invincibility is referred to in military terms. And that it continues into the elimination ceremony. Even with a new feature!<
Ahh Beth! I had hopes that Duncan would be it and she’d somehow be spared, but when it was between her and Zeke I knew it was a lost cause. I hate to see her go; she wasn’t always the biggest character but fun to have around and had a lot of great moments.
Aww, Alejandro ties her up and they have an adorable shipping scene. Is it wrong if I ship it? They could still be a thing after the show…
The firing squad was pretty harsh, especially being dumped like that and not given hugs. I’d cry to Beth. I was a bit unsure why she was eliminated, except being seen as a weaker member, since as she said she’d been so popular.
I really like that LTDI explored her desire to fit in and be popular, something canon didn’t do a great deal of with her besides Heather's allaince (though I can chalk it up to time restraints).
Phew, I was worried the losers wouldn’t get help for their condition. I mean, I assume this will help. Including some of the female interns was a good idea for the gender ratio (I have a rather uneven gender ratio but as you say on your fanfiction.net bio, you like the girls better. I agree, they're honestly better). And we get our first Ridonculous Racer intern.
Ahh, so this is the spin on the unfair elimination in canon! I have to say I like it a whole lot better; makes a lot more sense and doesn’t feel as unfair as a contestant’s actions. Courtney sold it well, and glad she got the truth out there. And I particularly like that the US is to blame for this.
Part of me wonders whether the Storyteller was exaggerating Courtney’s confessional, given how hidden that message was. But then again Courtney is smart enough and someone was able to solve it. How soon were they able to solve it? Did it get posted to the Internet before the next challenge or a few episodes after?
All in all, I really enjoyed the boot camp challenge. It had a lot of great Chef Hatchet moments, and more Chef Hatchet is always great. There was also plenty of excitement, ship teasing, butt kicking and a well handled elimination.
But this chapter ain’t over yet! Its time for the EXTREME SPORTS CHALLENGE. And its already off to a rough start with the music Chris is playing.
Honestly I can’t say I see much difference in the shower besides the hot water either. I mean, I want to take a shower in it just because it sounds fancy but I actually don’t know what the difference is…
Hmm, with Beth’s elimination it seems the teams are paralleled gender wise; one member of the opposite gender of the rest of their teammates. Don’t know if this was your final plan but I like it worked out like that.
Smart of Chris to give points, allows him to have all the fights. Plus I love to see ways he rewards points. Also, Heather and Courtney fighting is a perfect choice.
I cracked up when Lindsay said aloud it doesn’t look so bad hahaha. Attempting fate is an interesting idea, trying to think of ways you could do that…
Not starting before Chris gives the signal? Classic Heather, and clever twisting it into her own words. I’m sure Chris was fine with that. I like being described as a CIT was like being a warrior; Courtney can certainly treat it like that at times.
Embedded cattle prods? Geez Louise Chris, that’s harsh. Heather really goes in for a beat down; I feel she’s letting go off some aggression. Honestly, I could see Courtney not getting the chance to speak. I might be wrong but I believe Chris’ thumb down is a sign for a display of victory, based off something in actual gladiator combat or a reference.
And what a punishment! It kind of reminded me of the ‘Fatality’ feature of Mortal Kombat (though I admit I’ve never played it); a violent display of victory that just rubs it in the loser’s face they’ve lost.
Heather faces her own trashing in the future, huh? Hmm, wonder if its related to when Chris has to decide to bend the rules for her or not, as was alluded to when Chris broke the news about Gwen… guess it depends on if the trashing comes from a contestant or someone (or something) else…
Tear gas? I’m Leshawna, this challenge is crazy. Leshawna does make the best sense against the biggest Muskie; the TDA sports episode comes to mind, even if that was exaggerated strength.
I also don’t know if henchchicks has been used before this chapter and if I’ve commented on it before, but I love the term!
Lindsay and Tyler make a nice match up, a nice canon allusion, specifically catching a ‘hot guy’. If only dating was that easy. But kudos to Lindsay for winning! How did Lindsay even get Nigel, haha.
A giant ‘salt’ shaker fight? I like it, I could see canon having that. Plus I love the ‘a-salt’, assaulting pun. Katie you shouldn’t complain, do you want the cattle prods again? Chris is right about chivalry, so if he wanted an exciting match perhaps he should’ve had Zeke in the boy’s match (…though we’ll talk about that in a bit).
Volleyball will come up, huh? Perhaps a challenge or just some recreational fun? I can actually see Katie (and I assume Sadie as well) playing volleyball.
I suspect Chris gave the extra point to Katie as a way of making the challenge more in the Eagles’ favor, like he did with the paintball deer hunt but for the Muskies. Given Gwen’s idols, he might want to ensure other fan favorites Lindsay and Heather are safe, and figures the Muskies popular with the fans we’ll be okay (I imagine Courtney and potentially Duncan). He probably figured with some of the uneven match ups in the Muskies favor, like Leshawna and DJ and what he assumes Cody and Duncan will be, it’d help.
I can totally see why Chris made the match Cody and Duncan though; as he said it was a very opposite match, which makes good television. I think Cody can pull it off though! LTDI has shown us not to count the underdog or the seeming fodder out. A good place for a cliffhanger too.
Another great chapter! A lot of fun (and of course amazing ships). The merge is just around the corner though (and I believe already happening in some chapters) and though I have some ideas on what may occur, I’m just really pumped for what’s to come! Now to find out who this monster really is...*gasp* Old man Rhonda! 04:04, November 26, 2016 (UTC)
- Rhonda, all this time I’ve been longing to hear your thoughts on this chapter in particular, because I know how much of a shipper you are and I had warned you that this chapter could break your shipping radar.
- LTDI Ella’s singing has been explicitly magical all along. You may recall this quote from her first appearance, in 17th Night: “As the Singing Intern sang, the campers traversed rough terrain as easily as they would a city sidewalk and knew neither hunger nor thirst nor fatigue, for there was power in her songs.” I had not originally intended for her to become Dawn’s sidekick, but that’s how it worked out and it does make sense, especially in light of certain future developments. As for her power, one of the effects from her first song back in 17th Night (which you commented on at the time) was, “Heather and Leshawna chatted cordially.”
- Concerning Ella knowing songs like “Heart of Oak”, the Caisson Song and “Bella Notte”, I mentioned in the last chapter that part of Ella’s uncanny gift is that everyone who hears her sing knows the tune and the words as well as she, which is why the campers join in with the Caisson Song in the last chapter and the chorus of “Bella Notte” at the end of the dance party. Another facet of her gift, which I don’t think I’ve mentioned before, is that she can flawlessly remember any song she has heard once. Usually, though, she just makes up songs on the spot, as her canon counterpart does.
- The idea of a Dawn/Ella buddy cop movie certainly has merit, with Ella as the wide-eyed rookie to Dawn’s veteran. (Not sure where Leonard would fit in to this scenario. Perhaps he’d be the paper pushing bureaucrat who hasn’t grasped the difference between theory and practice.) Come to mention it, I could also see Dawn and Izzy in a buddy cop role, with Izzy as the loose cannon and Dawn as the more responsible partner who has to clean up the messes.
- So, you noticed that Courtney taking Ezekiel as her first dance partner was no coincidence. Of course, being the hardcore shipper you are, I expected nothing less. And later, Beth is bold enough to cut in on Courtney. Should we be reading something into that, as well? Speaking of Beth, she didn’t actually steal the beer, she merely exploited her connections to obtain it. But yeah, if that doesn’t make her popular with a bunch of teenagers, I don’t know what will.
- It may not be as hard as you think to get the camp’s hottest girls fighting over Cody. All the girls except Gwen probably regard him as generally inoffensive, he became canonically popular in TDWT, and as LTDI Heather once noted, he has a lot to offer the right girl. That’s as may be, Heather and Lindsay fighting over him was a comic scene where both wanted him more because the other did than for who he is. That’s why, when he claimed he could handle them both, they told him in unison to stay out of their quarrel.
- I’m thinking Sadie was the only loser who got sick. Izzy and Eva explicitly took shelter in the water and so were largely protected, and Noah probably also did so with his boatmate Leshawna, who as you may recall hasn’t gotten sick. Will Ella singing at the Playa dance cure Sadie? I’d say probably not, because the Playa dance was held for different reasons than the camp dance, and Ella’s wild magic is sensitive to that. (But just between us, Justin discovered at the Playa dance that Beth isn’t as hideous as he thought. Also, enjoy the mental image of Chef dancing with Millie… or of the boys passing her around, since she thinks she looks young enough to pass as a teen….) On the brighter side, the losers have better medical care than the campers do. If worse comes to worst, Sadie could just get the blood transfusion Dr. Kelley was going to prescribe for the ailing campers. Speaking of whom, yes, he’s a cameo OC. I currently have no plans for him to appear again. On a related note… no, the boost to Gwen’s healing isn’t a reference to the traditionally superhuman recuperative powers of cartoon characters; but if I had said it was, I’m sure nobody would have batted an eye.
- I told you I would credit you when I used the idea of the interns drowning their sorrows. You borrow my ideas, I borrow yours, and both our stories benefit.
- Yeah, Katie’s tougher than she looks. (Of course, that’s probably true of most of the remaining campers, given what they’ve been through.) The “little cross pin” she got for winning was actually described as a large medal, implied to be gaudy and cheap-looking. (This is TD, after all.) As for the other nonstandard element, the painful and degrading firing squad was not devised specifically to humiliate Beth; it was planned in advance, in keeping with the military theme. If the Muskies had won, I figure Chris might have summarily discharged Beth for her misconduct; but since they didn’t, he was able to make a show of eliminating her normally.
- Which leads us to Courtney’s clandestine message to the audience. Although the earliest episodes aired almost as they were shot, a time lag slowly accumulated because the show aired five nights per week (equivalent to two canon episodes plus an Aftermath segment) but the standard three-day cycle doesn’t break for weekends. This lag becomes a plot point in a later episode; but in the meantime, my notes on the story’s chronology shows that Courtney’s confessional spot aired six days after she made it. The unnamed fan broke the code quickly but not instantly, and once he went public with his discovery, it probably took a few days to become widely known. Therefore, I figure the producers would not have got wind of what Courtney did until at least four or five episodes later—perhaps around the “hide and seek” challenge.
- On to the Extreme … Sports … Challenge! The teams’ gender imbalances are a coincidence resulting from the elimination order following the story lines. This isn’t the first coincidence of this type, and it won’t be the last. Note also that the canon season had similar imbalances at this point, with the Bass boys outnumbering Bridgette 4-1 and the Gophers girls outnumbering Owen and Trent 4-2.
- Heather might indeed have been venting her spleen during her beatdown of Courtney, although it could also be a case of simply playing until the whistle, as it were, since Chris did not see fit to halt the fight until long after the outcome was certain. The “thumbs down” gesture does indeed come from the Roman gladiatorial games; the extended thumb represented a sword thrust, and instructed the winning fighter to finish off his vanquished and helpless opponent. (The corresponding “thumbs up” gesture, allegedly telling the fighter to spare his opponent, is historically inaccurate; the actual “spare him” gesture did not show the thumb at all, i.e. “do not make the sword thrust.”) And now that you mention it, Heather “finishing off” Courtney does resemble certain finishing moves in Mortal Kombat, which were exaggerated for comic effect, although LTDI plays it for drama.
- I address the favoritism question in one of the next chapter’s notes, but suffice to say for now that I did my best to avoid the appearance of favoritism Chris showed in the canon episode. In the gladiator bouts, the pairings were simply a matter of Chris working with what he had. Indeed, the tear gas dispensers in the boxing gloves were there specifically to give Leshawna a chance against D.J., although she wound up getting squashed anyway. Cody vs. Ezekiel or Duncan vs. Leshawna might have been a more even matchup for the staff-spoons than Duncan vs. Cody, but then who would have fought Duncan or D.J.?
- I knew from the beginning that I wanted five weapon types for the gladiator bouts, but for a long time I couldn’t think of a fifth type. (The staff-spoons, with the Dilbert reference, were actually the first type I came up with.) It had to be nonlethal, absurd and not a close match for the other types (so I couldn’t use another electrical weapon, for example) and I didn’t want a ranged weapon, so I couldn’t use a reader’s excellent suggestion of bolas made with tennis balls. Then, at long last, from out of the blue I remembered the “a-salted” joke from that old children’s play, and voila, I had my fifth weapon type.
- If you liked the gladiator bouts, you’ll probably like the rest of the Extreme … Sports … Challenge! The next chapter won’t lack for shipping moments, either, although obviously nothing I do can match what you saw in this chapter. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 20:31, December 2, 2016 (UTC)
Twenty-second Night Discussion & Polls
Twenty-second Night Polls
Twenty-second Night Discussion
My apologies for making you, my readers, wait nearly six months for this chapter, but there is reason for optimism that I have turned the corner. Call it writer’s block, call it laziness, call it what you will, I made almost no progress for four months due to an unaccountable lack of motivation. But now, at long last, I am making regular progress again.
To help make up for lost time, I will try to post the next chapter around the end of April, i.e. in one month instead of the (officially) usual two. I think I can do this, because the latest chapter’s length obliged me to move up the cliffhanger, which means a goodly portion of the next chapter is already written. Moreover, I’m getting into a part of the story where I have more scenes prewritten. Episodes 9-13, by contrast, were almost entirely “write as you go”.
Look for a change of pace in the next chapter or two. Although the eating challenge has its dramatic moments, on the whole it is probably most comedic “episode” in the entire story. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 19:59, April 2, 2016 (UTC)
Poor Cody. But Duncan’s always been a scrappy fighter. Love the way you write! Reminding the reader of the shocking experience, the uber-bimbo mind, and your alliteration all in a short group of paragraphs is fun. And I was hoping you’d have jousting! I wasn’t sure you would. For anyone reading this comment that isn’t Gideon, that’s how we met. ^_^ Gideon is great at the video game, Joust.
Haha I love how the idea of these kids jousting made Chris’ little black heart glad. I also love how you’re using the other TD casts as interns. ^_^ Fun to remember the other TD shows as this one progresses. Beautifully told challenge, too. Love Cody’s reward. :D
Haha Duncan reads books?? *smirk* Love that snark! Haha “By your command” too!! :D Awesome!! Love Lindsay’s dismount, and how that counts as a tiebreaker if it comes to that. Cool to remember that she’s a gymnast now and again. *wink*
I’ve never seen real polo, so this challenge is going to be fascinating to read. Oooo!! Cow moose, so there aren’t any antlers to worry about! This is a very fun and exciting challenge! I love how the riders got changed up a few times, and how they strategized against each other. Jay JLOM The buck does funny things when the does are present. xD 17:58, June 12, 2016 (UTC)
- Previous challenges have established that, although LTDI Lindsay is still dimwitted because she wouldn’t be Lindsay without that, she is generally more competent (or less incompetent, as the case may be) than her canon counterpart, especially in the more physical challenges. Coincidentally, though, the Extreme Sports challenge is the one where canon Lindsay came into her own.
- Dawn chose cow moose for the polo match not only because that meant no antlers for the riders to contend with, but also because the cows are probably more even-tempered than the bulls.
- I’ve mentioned before that I originally didn’t anticipate anyone but the canonical Season 1 cast appearing. Then, for a while, it was only Alejandro. Then, The ROTI cast would be interns, but with only Dawn appearing (and having a small role.) Over time, I started finding ways to work in appearances by later-season debaters, as interns—and there were plenty of possibilities, due to the intern corps’ high turnover rate.
- I really didn’t want to spend six years and counting on this story, but I have to admit that if I had finished LTDI in two years with a final word count of about 150-200K, which was my original estimate, it would not have been half the story it wound up becoming, quantitatively or qualitatively. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:24, June 26, 2017 (UTC)
- I'd actually forgotten that "competent" Lindsay showed some brainpower for the first time in the Extreme Sports Challenge. Of course, that's one of the first where she showed some individuality too, with her need to show off her new bikini. haha Yay for the guys!
- Just FYI, in Yellowstone I learned that mother moose are probably the most dangerous mammal in the Americas because of their unpredictability while protecting their calves. During rutting, tho, you're most likely right about the bulls because of their heightened testosterone. Lady moose with no calves are probably pretty tame, though, so that's what I'm imagining for the moose challenges.
- I'm so happy that you're bringing in so many of the other seasons of Total Drama as interns! :D It's a joy to me to be reminded of those seasons and characters while I'm reading this fanfic. ^_^ They add a whole new perspective to this story and to the "behind the scenes" storyline.
- I'm thrilled to still be reading your wonderful re-imagining, so I'm just as happy that it's still going on, too, even though it's six years and counting. <333333 Jay JLOM To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. xD 07:04, January 27, 2018 (UTC)
Whelp, I was way off about Cody. He got taken out real quickly. I imagine his teammates are so shower crazy they aren’t going to be very forgiving… And the Muskies take the lead!
Hahaha, its sad when you get ‘snarked’ by Lindsay.
“…there gitch to ditch their itch.” Are we going to have a rhyme off to match the alliteration fest from before?
I feel a little silly, but I read that as chicken juggling at first. But I love the concept of this challenge, a jousting tournament in the air! I think this a wonderful addition to the extreme sports challenge and felt like something that could happen in canon, but has the realistic morality rate I expect of LTDI. (Also you and Jay met at a Joust? <3 That's so adorable!)
And wow, did Cody actually almost just ask for her bra? Geez, that is bad. At least Gwen is a good sport and gives him her necklace.
Interesting that Chris used the same pairings; he is right about revenge. Shawn makes a good point. As he thought about traveling or living in space either? I assume even if zombie astronauts were around they’d have trouble navigating zero gravity.
No surprise in DJ chickening out, given who he is and who he is against. Ooh boy though, Tyler wiping out was sad, even when he has the advantage. This is not been a good challenge for him; though Lindsay has been doing great.
Heather is not mincing words here. Duncan doesn’t seem like the one to chicken out…except he does! Yay Cody, proving that you’re a tough competitor, just physically outmatched before. It may have helped Duncan was hoist by his own petard.
To be fair to Duncan, Chris said it was lethal and Dies Irae did play. Although it looks like it shouldn’t have been (at least so it seems). And Cody is rather lucky he’s the only guy left on his team, which is probably why he gets all the attention from the ladies as it is (although it doesn’t hurt that he’s also the most easily influenced by them either).
I’d be interested to see what Ella and Dawn’s cowgirl outfits looked like (in my head, Ella’s is an exaggerated rhinestone look, like a Nashville country singer). And Chris and Dawn will have a conflict in the future? I can’t say that’s too surprising…
Guess I should have seen Zeke doing well. Also, holding on for ‘deer’ life? Chris isn’t the only one that has a pun problem (not that I didn’t enjoy it haha).
Heather talked herself into, but she almost backed it up. The 7.99 joke reminds me of the canon joke about Geoff’s time in the leach barrel. And yeah, Courtney is not having such a great day. Duncan isn’t making it better.
Hunger Games reference! (reading the Trivia, and yeah that seems fishy about that reference being in here. You never sure what to believe from the Storyteller, but embellishing and adding to a story is the job of a storyteller…)
I guess Ella doesn’t have an interest in bad boys, probably wants someone whose more of a Prince Charming. I kind of wanted Duncan to get some humility of his own, but I guess I’ll take it (and he didn’t have a great day in the last challenge either…).
I was expecting Leshawna to do well, partially because of canon and partially because of her weight possibly making it harder to throw her. I was right! If I could talk to animals it wouldn’t be trash talking.
And again, Lindsay dominates! She is having an amazing day at this challenge. Is she just super motivated for that shower or would she usually do this well? (okay well, being against Tyler helped, but its still impressive from the uberbimbo).
I liked the quick transition from “Make your love proud.” He did not make his love proud. Hahaha.
I suppose I should have seen more interactions likely taking place between DJ and Dawn, given they’re the respective animal lovers of their seasons (I could totally ship them). Still, rather rude to cheat Dawn.
And I actually did not expect Cody to last, but good on him for doing. Honestly, how do auras even work? Are they who you are and your past or how you currently feel or a mix? What I am really asking, is where can I learn to read auras and become Dawn?
Polo, that’s an interesting challenge. Refresh my memory; Chris says they’ve all done enough horseback riding as part of their summer camp experience, but besides this challenge when else have they ridden horseback?
Man that’s a lot of rules for polo; I can’t lie the idea of an extreme polo challenge sounds fun but idk if I could keep up with all the rules. I forgot for a moment that the colors were reversed for the Killer and Screaming teams.
Once again Lindsay does good at the challenge and Tyler fails. I not shocked an illegal move came from Duncan, though I am a bit shocked Heather was involved but completely innocent. I can see if this was done in canon how Heather’s shot would be played for laughs.
Leshawna would excel at this, but Zeke would naturally too so I’m not surprised he ends up scoring a point (that and the Muskies have to tie for that final challenge).
Courtney and Lindsay being evenly matched strikes me as funny, given their somewhat opposite personalities (one of the reasons I wish they had interacted more in TDA or TDAS…)
And again, Tyler wipes out! Given the Muskies a point advantage. And like that, the Muskies win the first period!
I like Court taking charge here, this is a good point for her to display her leadership skills and strategy. And DJ still having an advantage with his moose; I guess I can’t complain. I’m not really sure who I want to lose this challenge. Like Lindsay, this is proving to be a good challenge for DJ (besides chicken jousting).
If DJ is skilled enough on his moose I suppose it shouldn’t matter who he is against at the goal. Though Heather is right, getting it out of his hands is best and Leshawna has the best chance of doing so.
I am seeing a recurring pattern of Tyler causing fouls, which is how the Eagles are really scoring. But DJ’s advantage does it and ties things up with the Muskies! It was both hilarious and sad to see how utterly owned the Eagles were.
I wonder how these interns keep coming to this show? Does Chris’ intern jokes not make it to the actual episodes or did they already sign their contracts in their own blood before the show?
Seeing the coral transformed into a mud pit makes me wonder where the mud pit actually was in canon…then again, the island’s landscape changes so frequently who knows anymore.
Its time for the classic mud skiing challenge! But is it going to end like the usual one?
Glad to see Tyler pulling more of his weight this time around; four of six is a lot though, so I think Katie could have it in the bag. DJ did get four too…but considering he’s going second I feel like he won’t succeed. Then again, if the Eagles go to elimination we can see what’s up with Gwen’s idols. But I have a feeling whose going to leave next…
I guess I’ll need to read and find out. Once again another wonderful chapter! I love the creative ideas for these extreme challenges. And I’m also really excited, as the merge is just around the corner…till then! Now to find out who this monster really is...*gasp* Old man Rhonda! 05:00, December 6, 2016 (UTC)
- Now that you’re back, it’s time to give you some answers.
- After all that David and Goliath buildup, Cody gets squashed like a bug. It just goes to show that, while LTDI Duncan is probably nicer (if cruder) than his canon counterpart, he’s still not a guy you want to mess with. As for Zeke and Katie ditching their itch, I wouldn’t count on a full-blown rhyming duel, although I wouldn’t be averse to one if I happen to think of one and have a good place to work it in; but failing that, the Storyteller is fond of such narrative flourishes.
- Yes, the aerial chicken jousting, or even (presumably non-aerial) chicken juggling, is something I could see Chris making the players do in canon, depending on whether he wants to endanger them or merely embarrass them. And no, I didn’t meet Jay at a joust, we met in a college gameroom whilst I was totally owning a video game called Joust. (Basically, you and the foeman are flying giant birds, ostrich for the first player, stork for the second player if present, and vultures for the baddies. Highest lance wins any collision. The physics are fairly realistic, at least for its day.)
- Cody asked Gwen for her bra in canon, although the setup was very different (his motivation was a bet with Owen) and I knew I had to work it in somewhere if I could because Cody, for all his virtues, does tend to have a one-track mind. On a related note, the main reasons for using “revenge” pairings in the chicken jousting were (a) to set up Cody’s and Duncan’s post-joust interactions with their teammates; and (b) to provide a logical setup for the still-recovering Courtney to sit out a round. And yeah, Cody is all about “honor before reason” chivalry, hence the implication that he and Duncan would have collided had Duncan not given way, quite possibly resulting in one or both being med-evaced or worse.
- A gaudy rhinestone look probably would suit Ella, but my thought is that her and Dawn’s cowgirl outfits were simple and functional because (a) it’s easier on the show’s budget that way, and (b) despite their prominence in the story, Dawn and Ella are still just lowly interns in-universe, and as such are supposed to avoid drawing attention to themselves when they appear on camera.
- As you surmised, Heather lasting only 7.99 seconds on the bucking moose is indeed my version of Geoff in the leech barrel. I did not necessarily intend to beat up poor Courtney like this, but that was how it turned out. I couldn’t pass up a chance to show Heather being Heather (i.e. that she does have a mean streak) in the gladiator battle. In the bucking moose round, Courtney seemed a logical choice to fail for various reasons, and I didn’t want the failures—or the successes, for that matter—to be too repetitive. At least she fared reasonably well in the polo match as a decent rider and a competent commander.
- Lindsay, by contrast, may be having as good a challenge as anyone has had in the whole competition. It’s partly motivation—previous challenges have established that Lindsay is competent when motivated (as long as she doesn’t have to think too much) and she, like all the girls, is highly motivated. There’s also the fact that her main challenge-related strength is superior coordination, and the sports in this challenge have largely played to that strength. Facing Tyler in the first two rounds certainly didn’t hurt, either.
- Speaking of Tyler, the quick transition (“Make your love proud.” Tyler did not make his love proud.) is the sort of dry humor that you and my other readers have come to expect from me. I think it would have made a good sight gag in an actual episode.
- Quite right, Duncan is definitely not Ella’s type. He might have had better luck if he had approached her at the dance, where (as Tyler and Cody discovered) she was eating some of her own cooking, so to speak.
- I suppose Dawn’s words to the moose before D.J.’s ride could be considered cheating; but in her defense, she didn’t actually tell the moose what to do. Originally, when I envisioned Dawn as a bit character just like a typical intern, her line was intended merely to emphasize D.J.’s “friend to all living things” attitudes; but as her role grew, her line also came to tease yet another ship. Answer me honestly, Rhonda: which is more important, playing fair or more shipping?
- In canon, Dawn’s aura reading seemed limited to determining the subject’s personality traits and the nature of their inner demons. She appeared to be as blindsideable as anyone else, suggesting that she was not more than normally sensitive to other people’s intentions or moods of the moment. In LTDI, Dawn (who is older and presumably more experienced than her canon counterpart) can also discern mental state and influence from external spirits. Her aura vision is implied to be how she sees spirits, which are in effect made of aura.
- Horseback riding is implied to be one of the stock summer camp activities the campers do on their free days between an elimination and the next challenge. Because it was an obvious possibility for figuring into a challenge at some point, the campers had an incentive to get reasonably good at it. The obscurity of polo, let alone cowboy polo, to most readers is part of the reason Chris pointed out its similarity to hockey.
- In the polo match, Duncan as well as Tyler were committing fouls—Tyler because he’s reckless and uncoordinated, and Duncan because he’s too aggressive and perhaps is trying to push the envelope of what the rules allow—and as Courtney noted between periods, that was giving the Eagles too many penalty shots. But yeah, the Muskies had most of the advantages and they had to win for dramatic reasons, which limited how much suspense the polo match could have. It didn’t matter in the greater scheme whether they won by one point or 20, so I figured I might as well make it a blowout. Their lopsided win also balanced the Eagles' shutout win in the chicken jousting.
- The new interns don’t know what they’re getting into because, as the Storyteller has noted a few time, the finished episodes and the show’s website meticulously avoid any reference to interns coming to bad ends. Indeed, the episodes and website rarely mention the interns at all because, let’s face it, the show isn’t about them. The “Boney Island Massacre” may have been an exception, because it was mainly caused by a natural disaster that the show’s producers couldn’t really be blamed for (as Chris pointed out when he was called on the carpet for it) and because it created a need for a large number of new interns on short notice. I figure the show’s website does have a place to apply for internship, but it is probably active at all times and there is likely a backlog of applications.
- The canonical TDI generally tried to observe continuity, but there was one major exception: when it came to the layout of the camp and the topography of the island and the surrounding area, continuity meant nothing. I’ve tried to observe better location continuity, but I have necessarily avoided getting too specific. I will say, though, that I envision most of the camp’s ancillary facilities (boathouse, corral, dodgeball court, etc.) as being to the west of the lodge and cabins, with the boathouse being the camp’s western frontier. Only the bonfire pit is to the east or southeast, which is how that came to be the first familiar location Sadie came to during the hypothermia scene.
- In terms of the story arc, this chapter was nothing but challenge action; but in terms of character development, I was able to work in plenty of interaction and show how different players solve the same problems (or not) based on their specific characterizations. The upcoming Labors of Heracles challenge (episode 15) will pretty much run on that dynamic. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:24, June 26, 2017 (UTC)
Twenty-third Night Discussion & Polls
Twenty-third Night Polls
Twenty-third Night Discussion
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that nobody saw Ella's fate coming. (Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.) But how about Lindsay's stratagem? It was similar to the canon version of the topless scene, but with a different setup. Who are you expecting to return? Who are you hoping will return? Please let me know your thoughts, because feedback is how writers improve. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 02:39, May 15, 2016 (UTC)
Lindsay can think?? Way to win that challenge!!! 8D lol And Cody’s so sweet. <3 Good thing he didn’t look. ^_^ Nice that Lindsay took pity on him and gave him a close-up. Ella!!! :o She deserved the Pie Jesu, for sure. Nice that the interns are allowed to have funerals, too. ;”o( Poor Bunny. Such a joyous conversation between D.J. and Dawn, though. Glad we get to “see” Ella again. <3 Ella’s an Ent!!? :D Very cool!!! And such a beautiful end to her story. ^_^ Farewell, Singer. I hope we get to see her again. xoxo
Oooo!! Two more boys! For the Brunch o’ Disgustoness. :P Can hardly wait to see who they are! :D Great chapter and fun reading as always!!! Thanks, Gid!! <3 Jay JLOM The buck does funny things when the does are present. xD 03:50, August 4, 2016 (UTC)
- Leaving aside that Cody would probably have crashed had he seen Lindsay flashing D.J. at the time, if he had seen her then he would have passed the rest of his life in blissful ignorance of how much better it could have been.
- Ella was always planned to go when she did, but I nevertheless had mixed feelings about closing her storyline. Over on fanfiction.net, LTDI’s most heavily reviewed chapters have been the ones where she and/or Dawn were prominent, which suggests that LTDI’s magical girls became a Spotlight Stealing Squad for good reason. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 05:51, June 30, 2017 (UTC)
Well its been quite too long since I commented, and since I've read the latest chapter and you've beaten me to the punch by commenting on TDG already, let's get on it!
Ooh my hahaha. I was curious given how canon went if going topless would be involved at all. Given the last two drivers were men, I didn’t think it would happen, but Lindsay’s assist was a genius (and hilarious) idea to incorporate this! Never understand Lindsay, especially when beauty supplies are on the line.
At least Lindsay is self-aware enough to know she isn’t good with names. A speech impedicure is hilarious.
Okay you’re starting to sell me on this shower haha. I wonder if they got all kinds off luxury soups too. I feel really bad for Courtney; today was a sucky day for her. I don’t think she’s going home, she’s too big a character, didn’t mess up and has Zeke as an ally. Plus she still has a baby to make! (Just kidding…maybe?)
Getting Cody to give it up is a clever idea, but he’s a genuinely nice guy that he did it anyway. I’m glad LTDI portrays Cody as such as a nice person, I felt he kinda was in canon by hooking up Trent and Gwen…then season 3 made him a little too pervy and obsessed for my like.
That being said, will he ever give up on Gwen? A favor like this could be better spent. Plus all the girls are telling them he could win someone’s else heart, and with the passion he puts in to romance I’d buy it.
I mean at this point I don’t know if he can hook up with anyone else, since everyone knows he’s so hung up on Gwen and would feel like second place. Plus he doesn’t have many options left; Gwen and Lindsay are taken, Cody wouldn’t flirt with Katie given Noah’s feelings, Courtney and him haven’t interacted as much and she’s maybe in a love triangle, leaving Heather and Leshawna which sees tough at first glance, but my shipping goggles make anything possible! Hmm…maybe that’s Sierra’s mysterious role whenever she makes an appearance
Still, I’m afraid not even Ella’s magic could make it happen between Gwen and Cody. So he’s out of luck. Not that I find his crush creepy, like season 3, its more endearing here. But I also pity him, especially knowing what will happen… The thing we do for love!
“How? By cosplaying for you?” I first thought it implying that Courtney may dress like Gwen, which is possible. But could it be another costume, perhaps more geeky? I could see it for some reference.
I’m cracking up at this religious experience they’ve gone through. How much was Lindsay’s flashing that powerful and how much is the Storyteller exaggerating? (And this does make me want to add a few lines in a similar vein for the last TDG chapter I posted).
Wow. Just wow Lindsay hahaha. I have no idea if she was aware or not what was going on. I love her one confessional line too. (I just even enjoy the editing process of the behind the scenes nature).
I remember reading this part about the infirmary and being very afraid to keep reading. Even with how lighthearted this chapter had been, a dark turn is never too far away.
I was not ready to lose Ella! I knew it had to happen soon, it seemed too good to be true for her to stick around this long (though I can’t even remember how may episodes she has off the top of my head). But she was great!
And she gets such a departure, very ceremonial with even Chris showing mercy. God, imagine what happens if Dawn dies. Wait, I don’t want you to imagine that! Then you might write it… Really she and Ella have had such an expanded role, or so it feels like. Maybe even more than Alejandro. I do enjoy catching up with the interns, so I don’t mind though.
By the by, who were your favorites for TDPI? Is Ella up there, and has LTDI influenced that at all?
Ooh no, don’t tell me Ella’s magic had been protecting the interns. Ella and Chris were a major conflict in TDPI, but if her magic did protect them, I’d say Ella and Chris could be considered foils.
I knew the merge was coming, but its still exciting we’ve reached that point! A lot can happen now because of it…
Tyler going home makes sense, out of everyone left he’s the only one without much of a ‘plot’ so to speak, having hooked up with Eva and not too many other big interactions. Not to mention he failed hard today, not sure if it was worse than usual but it seemed big. DJ was next, but his and Zeke’s rivalry was still kind of there.
On this reread I am only now appreciating the irony the sporto was eliminated at the sports challenge.
Does Ezekiel know why he keeps being in the bottom two? Has he questioned it? Cause he has to realize Courtney is his friend, so its not because he’s sexist. Is he aware DJ has a grudge against him?
DJ has a really good point! They’ve all voted together, and why its not an alliance it certainly appears to be. I mean Courtney and Zeke are friends, and Duncan and Zeke are friends, so being friends might as well be an alliance. I mean unless the other truly messed up, but even then I wonder if they’re close enough that wouldn’t matter. (Also, can’t fault them on Beth’s elimination; Chris told them too. Maybe he didn’t tell DJ?)
Ooh! A Dawn and DJ scene! I can’t recall if they’ve had any other bigger scenes, other than Dawn whispering to his moose. But given their very similar personalities, it was bound to happen. (Probably why I see them commonly shipped together…and can engage in some DJawn or Dawn J shipping myself…)
I like the detail that two do eat meat, especially Dawn. It’s a nice subversion of an expectation of her stereotype.
Okay, so like I think I’ve said before I’ve always been having the mysticism left as a maybe it’s real or maybe not…but there is no doubt it is in LTDI! Really, I don’t necessarily have proof any magic isn’t here either.
Still, I did not expect Ella to actually be a magical creature. Maybe I should have given her very special magic…but even then, the fact she would turn into a tree I still couldn’t see coming!
Oh my gosh, I just love that we get to see Dawn’s aura vision! It just sounds so beautiful and intriguing (like Dawn’s potential dark side, which I could see, even in canon given her pouty face in her boot episode).
Eeeee! That’s my squeal that Ella is actually still alive! Its bittersweet that Ella may not remember her previous life, but she doesn’t die a horribly tragic death at least…unless something horrible happens to her tree form, if that would affect her, or the Island as a whole. But she’s referred to as an immortal, so maybe not…
So many possible questions with Ella and her form as a tree. Just the way she describes it sounds lovely. I just thought what if the season Brett is on takes place on the island and he tries to commune with Ella, or Perola I should say, but she only has vague memories, yet still has faint ones...
Is Perola shipping Dawn? Hahaha! Is it with DJ? Hehehehe. Shipping is so powerful even immortals do it! What a send off for an amazing side character <3</p>
For some reason I had in my head that Ella’s singing was magical as a spirit and that brought peace to DJ with his grudge with Zeke. Don’t know why I remember that…should be interesting to see if DJ’s thoughts about a major alliance affects how he acts at the merge…
I love that Ella apparently sang the theme song later; I wonder if they kept using it for future seasons. I could see them trying to replace it at one point for something new, but the fans demand it back, possibly because of Ella’s magic. Glad she has a little legacy left with the show.
And EEEEEEEE! Another squeal because we’ve officially reached the halftime! Congrats Gideon on getting here with LTDI! I know its been a long run, but an amazing one! We’re not done yet though…
I like the idea of the Brunch of Disgustingness being a ‘halftime’ show of sorts. I can’t remember if it was established as such in the canon, but I feel like they made it more twisty like the battle of sexes were going to last. I prefer LTDI just being upfront about it.
Oh my goodness we’re getting the returnees! I like the nod to the original with that the returnees would be at the first individual challenge. I know now who, but originally I was shocked that it would be two males, though it seems more obvious in hindsight with the challenge. Partially because I was also expecting something different but we’ll get to that later, or to phrase it differently, that is another story for another time.
(Which, upon thinking of, I went looking at some of the other uses and throughout the story and enjoyed seeing what story for another time had come and how they had been hinted at. We might need an official list once LTDI ends).
Anyhow, I think I should keep my initial reactions to who the returnees are until their official reveal next chapter.
Overall, great chapter! Lindsay made it hilarious throughout, yet it was tragic to lose Ella, but mystical to experience her through Dawn’s vision. And I’m just so excited for what the merge will bring (although I also know haha).
I also have to say I love that this challenge has been great focus for Lindsay and DJ! Lindsay hasn’t been a minor character, a lot has happened with her, but she certainly was the MVP this challenge! DJ has been a bit more minor, but slowly becoming more prominent and having a big focus this chapter, that suggests possibly a bigger role in the future…or just more shipping.
I hope to not take as long with my next comments! I know I have a few thoughts (read:a lot) to share haha.--Now to find out who this monster really is...*gasp* Old man Rhonda! 03:41, June 23, 2017 (UTC)
- That’s the beauty of how I handled the topless scene. Despite it being very similar to the canon version, few readers saw it coming because the setup was different. Moreover, I managed to incorporate it in a way that gave Lindsay actual character development, as opposed to being merely a gag as in the original (although it was that, too). “Speech impedicure” is one of my favorite Lindsayisms because not only did it display Lindsay’s penchant for malapropism, it did so in a way that emphasized the sort of things she typically thinks about. Speaking of which … no, the shower doesn’t have “luxury soups”. (You and your near-homophone confusion. I actually didn’t notice it the first time I read your comments.) Chris did, however, mention “top of the line designer cleansers” among other features.
- Part of the reason Courtney had such a tough challenge was to set her up as a legitimate boot possility, which made her introspective, the better to set up her friendship moment with Cody. (As for the possible babymaking, even after it became clear that Courtney would be a main character, she never got much traction in the motherhood guessing, probably because people are starting to think she’ll win.) Likewise, I had Tyler drive, and perform decently if unremarkably after his earlier problems, to avoid telegraphing his elimination. Speaking of which, Ezekiel is aware that he always seems to be in the Bottom Two because Chris usually mentions the reason—long memories—without telling him who’s responsible.
- Actually, I thought Cody was more pervy in TDI than TDWT, despite the latter being his “obsession” season. (Sierra was the perv in TDWT.) LTDI Cody did sometimes come across as creepy in the early episodes, but seems to have cleaned up his act after Gwen called him out on it during their trip to Boney Island. That’s as may be, a couple of my readers on fanfiction.net have repeatedly made their views clear on the prospect (or lack thereof) of a Cody/Gwen pairing. One suggests (much like you, but less diplomatically) that it’s time for Cody to move on, because there are still several hotties available, and not just campers. The other is specifically a Cody/Heather shipper, and not just in LTDI.
- The things we do for love, indeed. Rest assured that will become a plot point. Multiple plot points, actually.
- Concerning the “religious experience”, it wasn’t the Storyteller who was exaggerating; it was the Muskies boys, for the sake of their prank. They couldn’t have known that Cody would get the last laugh. (And I think I know which TDG incident you’re referring to.) Lindsay did indeed get wind of what was going on, when Cody asked her about it at Leshawna’s suggestion. Lindsay is implied to have given Cody a private showing in large part because she took pity on him; and because everyone else had already seen, she figured she had nothing more to lose.
- By the by, for a time I was afraid I would have to leave out both the prank and Cody’s private “audience” in favor of Cody’s scene on the dock with Courtney. The problem was that Cody needed to be in all three scenes, but he couldn’t be in two places at once, and it took me a long time to figure out how to make the three scenes flow naturally one to the next. The dock scene was the most dramatically important of the three because it was there for character development, whereas the other two were just there for comedy; so until I found a good way to link them, the comic scenes were on the chopping block.
- As I’ve mentioned before, most notably after you commented on the hypothermia cliffhanger, it is said that you have to care about characters before you’ll fear for them, so the fact that you feared the outcome of the infirmary scene shows that you find LTDI’s characters engaging.
- Dawn and Ella have indeed overshadowed Alejandro, LTDI’s original mauve shirt, since arriving on the island. As you may recall, Dawn was introduced before the cooking challenge when Alejandro welcomed the newest batch of interns. (She took one look at him and diagnosed him with survivor guilt over Lightning’s death.) Ella was in the same batch of interns, but was not introduced until the first part of the trust challenge. In other words, although Ella’s prominence (not to mention the long update cycle) may make it seem like she was around longer, she appeared in only five chapters covering three episodes. Dawn has appeared, if memory serves, in eight chapters spanning four episodes. And since you asked, I liked Ella’s canon counterpart well enough, as I did most of the Pahkitew cast, but my favorites were Jasmine and Scarlett.
- The irony of eliminating the sporto in the sports challenge is actually something I hadn’t noticed at first, either. What I did notice was another irony: the part of the challenge the sporto did best in—driving—was the one that wasn’t really athletic. On a related note, although I have left (and will probably continue to leave) the specifics of the Duncan/Courtney/Ezekiel alliance vague, my thought is that it’s relatively informal, with Zeke being the linchpin because both the others like him but tend not to get along well with each other. As for Beth’s elimination in the previous episode, my thought is that Chris didn’t talk to D.J. because a unanimous vote was not required, so Chris let D.J. vote against Ezekiel as he always does.
- I knew you’d like the Dawn/D.J. scene, because I know your sensibilities, so I knew you’d understand Ella/Perola’s reasons for shipping her good friend Dawn with kindred spirit D.J. One of my reviewers on fanfiction.net did guess that Ella would live alone on the island after the show was done shooting, but I’m fairly certain nobody guessed that Ella was actually a magical creature, much less a sort of spirit ent. On a related note, my thought is that the show continued to use Ella’s cover of the theme song indefinitely, because the primary reason for recording it (i.e. a cover costs less than a recording by the original artist) would remain relevant in future seasons. The show’s producers in the LTDI universe are as tight-fisted as their canon counterparts.
- Although it wasn’t necessarily apparent until after the fact, the canonical “Bruch of Disgustingness” was clearly meant to be the TDI halftime show. It wasn’t identified as such in so many words, but it took place in the middle of the season—the exact midpoint if you count TDDDDI as the first season’s 27th episode—had no elimination and only one scene that affected the larger story arc (i.e. Heather’s attempt to recruit Bridgette) and a special team arrangement not seen before or after.
- Now that you mention it, I could add a listing of the “another story for another time” references on the Elimination Table page, and I could update it as I do other sections of that page. There’s no real reason I would have to wait until the story is done.
- D.J. has been fairly prominent for a while now, although he’s still firmly in the “supporting character” tier. He was virtually invisible in the first few episodes, and (as I mentioned at the time) I initiated his (so far one-sided) conflict with Ezekiel back in the camping challenge mainly to give him something to do. But as you noted, this was a chapter where the main focus was not, for the most part, on the usual suspects.—except for Cody, whose screen time is ample on the whole but has a “feast or famine” character. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 05:51, June 30, 2017 (UTC)
Twenty-fourth Night Discussion & Polls
Twenty-fourth Night Polls
Twenty-fourth Night Discussion
Great way to start the chapter! Changing up the teams a bit. ^_^ Yay love triangles!!! And that’s awesome that they get to watch everything that’s happened so far! That gives them some pretty nifty advantages, like knowing which peeps are the real power behind the thrones. Well, throne, now that it’s going to be merged. After the meal.
Considering Owen is back, I’d think that would’ve given a massive (haha) advantage to the guys. A lopsided advantage, even. Bwahaha! I am loving how similar your chapters are to the actual TDI, and how much extra you can cram in. Yay!!! Brunch of Disgustingness ….. begins.
Heeheehee! Fun to hear from Scarlett as to what happened to Topher. Wonder where he’s buried? Kinda liked Topher, though. Anyone who can annoy Chris the way he did, consistantly, was fun to have around. Glad Duncan has a brain. Killer bunny. Hahaha! Perfect description. ^_* Hahaha I could actually hear Owen’s voice saying “Great horny Catherine!” Hahaha That’s sooo Owen! Whoohooo!!! Monty Python’s Whizzo Chocolates!!!!! Bring it!! Hahaha! Hmmm … baby frogs? So little tadpoles? Like raw fish? With itty bitty legs? Sushi chocolates!!!!! ^_^ Hahaha! “Ignorance is truly bliss.” Love it!! Is that from the actual episode? Or your lovely Lindsayism? Lindsay is a whole lotta fun! xoxo
To everyone reading this that isn’t Gideon, I tasted that cheese, and it was gritty. Hahaha!! Ahh, memories. ^_^ Also tasted a bit like chili pepper cheese whiz, with no flavor but the paprika. Yuck. Real restaurant … if it’s still there … and very strange sandwiches, for sure! I think I got a salmon sandwich. Very good! I think it had spinach and a white sauce, along with avacado slices and tomatoes and those little sprouts you get in salads. It was really good!! Rather messy, though. It kept sliding around on itself. Also, with that paprika cheese spread, it was gooey and had slimed several layers of sandwich. I don’t believe Brett finished his sandwich, or even took home the leftovers. Gid? Do you remember? Does Brett? Haha Poor LaShawna.
I LOVE fruitcake!!! :D Maybe because I’ve never had the brick versions. When I’ve eaten them, they’re always soft and gooey and filled with all those delicious chunks of stuff!!! Yummy!!!! Nice to have a glass of water to help wash it down, though. Hahaha I love how you said, “…Lindsay’s cloudlike mind was where complex thoughts went to die.” I giggle every time I think of it now. A true air-head. Hahaha Your depiction of Lindsay thinking the bird was still alive was inspired!! Haha And how Chris responds is delightful!!! Thank you for this comical chapter!!! Also, The Dead Parrot sketch is one of my favorites from Monty Python. ^_^
Ewww on the lemon juice and blendo. Blech!! And sicko yuck on licorice! My brother would yum those donuts up, though. Well, maybe not with that oil, but licorice was one of his favorite flavors as a kid.
Ooooo!!! Yay, Ezekiel!! I can see him giving his excursion reward to Courtney for everything she’s done for him. He’s crushing on her, but he’s still paying for his gender-bias, too.
Keep up the awesome work, Gid!!! Jay JLOM A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. xD 08:53, January 29, 2017 (UTC)
Finally, a comment! I swear I caught up at some point, only to now be very far behind. Oh well.
So now that we officially know our returnees, here’s my thoughts on them.
Trent is not surprising, partially because I believe you may have told me haha. But also given Chris was giving Gwen immunity to the merge for some drama, it just makes sense. Especially since we as readers know returnees were present at the merge.
I like Trent, but he’s never been one of my favorites in the original Island, probably because he is more of a straight man. Not that I think he’s boring, which I know some people do. Overall, excited to see what his return brings. Will he and Gwen become even more official? Will Heather try to kiss him like canon? And what will happen to Cody, who's become a bigger player and character, because of these events?
(By the by, I can’t remember if I mentioned this last time, but I had a theory about who Cody ends up with. If I remember, Sierra is suppose to have some importance to the story, being a temporary intern or something. She has the status of a mauve shirt then a red shirt if I’m remembering right. Given her canon obsession with Cody, I could see that if he leaves with no love interest he’ll hook up with Sierra as a ‘reward’ or happy ending of sorts).
Owen I was rather surprised at seeing return. Having him here for the food eating challenge makes sense, and the trivia notes he’s here for a specific joke. I guess Chris brought him back for this challenge, since I don’t see what kind of drama Owen could bring. He’s just so friendly, and likely not to have any major hook ups.
Then I did remember his and Izzy’s canon hookup, which could mean he might hook up with another camper, if he didn’t hook up with Sadie. Given what we see later, I can see some reasons you decided to have Owen return. He’s not exactly my favorite, but I think I’ll enjoy him. I was expecting someone else to return, but I’ll save that for later.
(Also I was kind of hoping Harold would return, just so we can get confirmation on whether he is really dead or not; I’m not giving up on the possibility!).
Strangely, no one seems rather annoyed that people are allowed to come back. I’m not sure if it was established earlier that was a possibility or not, especially since Chris’ speech implies they can’t.
Thinking about it, how does Heather expect to have the losers support? I mean anyone she’s against will probably be more liked. I doubt few of the others will offer her support based on her strategic merits then one of their friends. Them seeing her confessionals certainly doesn’t help…
Nice touch that Heather would know this is coming, given she is the savvy one. I can’t remember if canon had a nine course meal, but I like Chris specifies a course meal, like they’re about to engage in some fine dining hahaha.
I agree with Jay; it seems like the guy's got the advantage here with Owen returning. I wouldn't be surprised if Chris brought him back just have someone to try the foods for this challenge, similar to the out of story reason he's here. Though given what we see, maybe he wasn't that big an advantage...
Heather and Courtney as the usual suspects is hilarious, and accurate. Nice to see the belching contest tied in from canon. I figured Owen would win it, but Duncan definitely works better thematically.
A Monty Python reference! I only know the movies, but I’ve been needing to watch more Monty Python sketches. I also love Trent muttering under his breath. The sexy servers is a nice touch, again tying well with The Battle of the Sexes theme. It’s something I could see Chris doing too.
I definitely got the Tex Avery reference. Red Hot Riding Hood is probably what Ezekiel is thinking about Scarlett in that outfit… Ooh a Topher reference! Not going to lie, as fun as it might be to see him bothering Chris, I much prefer the idea of Scarlett manipulating him to be vanished by the mob. Scarlett maybe shaping up to be the new Dawn/Ella of the interns…
I am with Owen, defiling fried chicken is a sin. “Great horny Catherine” is a perfect Owenism. I sometimes do forget that Owen can be a hilarious character because he is so used. He’s very humorous this chapter; Nuts was a great joke. Prairie oysters do make a good seeming item for gross food choices; great minds think alike.
I love Lindsay undermining Chris’ all psych out. I suppose a whole frog seems unrealistic, but you guys know Chris. He would definitely want you to eat a frog. I actually started craving chocolates after this.
And know the reason Leshawna is a francophone Canadian! I think you really captured how awful this meal was when you described her booming voice at only a whisper. The reactions to this cheese were hilarious, until Leshawna actually broke down. Again, I think you capture just how terrible this with just how out of character she is because of this cheese. That backstory does not help; I’m with Courtney. Leshawna’s dad has a nice sentiment, but that’s beyond cruel. I have to say I do kind of want to actually try this cheese to just see how bad it is.
I also need to mark that Heather line because I’m not sure what it implies is going to happen later, or even if it's to Heather, but I feel like there’s a lot to impact with those words. Especially knowing they’ll be prophetic.
Fruitcake! I feel like I tried fruitcake once, and didn’t bother finishing it. Everyone’s reactions to these foods are just great! Aww, Lindsay trying to be a good friend. I think she’s genuine, and will probably try to make it up to Katie, and Sadie, after the show.
Chris sewing on a parrot head, classic. I’m assuming they didn’t need to eat the head. Also, Lindsay actually thought Chris was serious. Wow. WOW. It’s hilarious, but somehow makes me love her more. And Katie helping her out. Seriously, this is a cute friendship <3
Do glasses of gross liquid in a row! Unsweetened lemonade is an ingenious trick. I say that all of these food choices have been really creative. Duncan’s sign is a perfect gag for this. The Blendo sounds pretty gross too. A fun idea for a prison themed challenge though.
The technically last item though. Black licorice came to represent! Gwen liking it seems natural, it is black and she is goth. But the trick that it’s...healthy and Owen’s reaction was amazing. And maybe not unjustified.
The almost running gag of Heather being thankful for not being captain was great when Chris revealed the last item. Courtney’s thoughts were just the same. A spring trap in the chocolate? That does sound rather nasty and painful...but Duncan didn’t seem to have an issue.
Honestly, it's probably better the guys win. The girls being peeved at missing a reward like this is great fun or humor. And we know the girls are the real winners because girls are genuinely the better characters in Total Drama (oops, sorry not sorry for that truthbomb for anyone who may read this).
But really it works with Ezekiel’s option and the cliffhanger. Sure its not the most life-threatening, but it definitely intriguing. I love how it plays out too, but that’s a story for next comment!
It’s weird that it took me so long to write this, because I feel like my comment is rather short for me. Maybe that’s why? Honestly it was just a very fun challenge with hilarious reactions and jokes and creative dishes. And not much to worry about the fate of my faves or theories.
I definitely say you can do great humor. LTDI has always been funny even if a drama, with the natural humor from these characters and the situations, so it's not really surprising this chapter is hilarious! Humor or drama, you could do either in my book.
A fun chapter. I look forward to commenting more soon, and I do have a lot more to say on them... Now to find out who this monster really is...*gasp* Old man Rhonda! 06:45, December 30, 2017 (UTC)
Twenty-fifth Night Discussion & Polls
Twenty-fifth Night Polls
Twenty-fifth Night Discussion
Sigh, another six-month interval for a new chapter. I really need to step it up if I want to finish this story before my three remaining readers on this wiki lose interest in Total Drama. To make matters worse, I came fairly near to having this chapter ready on schedule, although it would have been significantly shorter than it wound up becoming, but various things just kept pushing it back. In addition to the usual suspects—seasonal sports photography, the holidays, writer’s block, inexcusable sloth—I also had to deal with a couple of extraordinary obstacles at inopportune times. These included my father passing away (he was 91) and a bout of shingles, which affected my vision due to swelling around my stronger eye.
The next chapter should get into the Labors of Heracles challenge; and since I have the course and events of that challenge fairly well fleshed out, I’m optimistic that I can get it finished in a timely manner. This challenge will feature a phalanx of cameos, including some of the newest intern batch. (Who would you like to see?) The challenge is relatively elaborate—I have to describe at least one camper performing or trying to perform each of the twelve Labors, with most campers performing more than one—so it will probably span two chapters. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 03:33, February 5, 2017 (UTC)
Haha I love how Heather calls Lindsay “Lindsiot” and she doesn’t flinch or complain, and the author’s description of Lindsay, like “… the turnip-brained former blonde” and “… the microcephalic bombshell”. They’re fun and funny and help keep the whole story fresh and fascinating!
Bwahahaha :D Your writing of Lindsay’s uber-bimbo-ness is hilarious! She completely misunderstood what Heather was trying to say about Gwen and Cody. And the way you wrote everyone’s reactions to her misunderstanding was completely TDI. ^_^
Zeke is totally playing the game to the max! Brilliant strategy move!! I love how you’re able to tell us about all their strategies at this point, or lack thereof, and seeing Chris be Chris is always fun for me. Not because I like him, but because I enjoy laughing at his antics and at his expense, sometimes. Also, way to beef up the shipping!!! Fun to see what each of them is really thinking. ^_^
Thank you very much for someone voting for Leshawna in sympathy for the Hungarian Cheese meltdown. I was hoping for that empathy vote. I like to see who has a heart for other people.
Bwaahahahahaha Lindsay can’t keep anyone’s names straight for even a single monologue!!! Hera, Helen, Helga, Kellie, Kayla, Madonna, Glenda, and Chip. That’s five people if I’ve translated correctly. Poor, sweet, blonde brain. *giggle, sigh*
Heather made a very good sales pitch, so I can see why Zeke chose her. She’s very crafty, tho, so he’d better keep his ears open if she decides to do a double-cross. I can’t imagine why she would in the near future, tho. Keeping Zeke in her pocket makes her alliance big enough to win.
I love that you have a conversation between Brett and his mom at the end of that segment! It feels more *real* that way, and the conversation brings to light that this is how the mom is remembering it, too. I’m enjoying the introspection of the conversation. Also makes for a marvelous *breather* between story parts.
Oooooo!!! Chef shows his human side again!! Thank heavens for him to protect these kids. Chris certainly doesn’t care about them, except as drama fodder. Way to go, Courtney!! And now she gets to go on an overnight camping date with her sort-of boyfriend, too!! :D Whooot!!
I love hearing about Leonard’s adventures!! I’m glad Rodney is going to be fine, too. I’m glad Leonard isn’t going to practice magic anymore without some formal training. Fun to imagine real magic in our world, but scary beyond belief if this type actually existed. I love it for this show, tho. I’m hoping we’ll hear about or see Dawn one more time before this story ends. I’d love to hear about maybe Chris being arrested, and Dawn teaching the sharks, and Geoff and Bridgette getting engaged, and stuff like that.
Oooooo!!!! Some more dodgeball!!! Very awesome!! Dodgeball has been one of my favorite chapters so far, so no matter what they do, I’m looking forward to it. Eeeeeek!!! An enormous lake leech got poor Zeke? Courtney will save him!!! :D Awesome cliffhanger!! Wait! Grabbed him by his hoodie?? I think I know what got him. :o Haha
Who I'd like to see as an intern? Definitely Jasmine! And Sky. Jay JLOM To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. xD 21:00, July 22, 2017 (UTC)
Let’s see where we left off! Ezekiel is giving out his reward…
I’m glad Ezekiel was concerned about the different rooms. It’s very much something that fits his character, and a detail like that wouldn’t even be thought of by most writers (myself included). It’s one of those nice, little things that just adds depth and believability that are in LTDI.
Same with Lindsiot, which kills me.
Ezekiel’s plan is pretty ingenious. As Chris discusses later, it’s a great way to get information about the game. It’s especially useful for understanding team dynamics. Granted that’s less of an issue in Total Drama since teams live together usually, but Zeke might still be curious or not privvy to information about the other team. Getting the guys and Chris to serve as a cover is another smart step.
Heather feels like a psychic. I’m not sure the exact conditions of the losers, but given canon we know that Playa De Losers is a resort like they had been expecting. So she’s right on the mark. Her genre savviness is powerful...when not overruled by her pettiness. I do doubt Chris would let the losers talk to the campers, he’s hush-hush even when they visit, just for the sake of keeping the drama. Still, better safe than sorry.
If it was me, my gut instinct would be to pick Gwen or Katie. They’ve both been through the most. I’d lean to Gwen for the chance to hang out with Trent. But that’s before looking at the deals…'
How famous is Chris in the LTDI-verse. Is he worth the budget? Although, I assume he had a big role in getting it developed, so he naturally allocated a lot for himself. I’m interested to see how long he kept hosting this show after this season (though this might also be me thinking of Legacy and expecting something similar. If his relative is hosting now though, that implies quite a history with the franchise).
Yeah, I expected that out of Trent too. If the losers are at Playa De Losers, then I don’t really feel like Trent or Owen deserve to go. I mean, sure the cruise is nice and has special treatments but so is the resort. Trent should have gave his spot up to Gwen, especially with that broken arm.
Oh Cody. Sure Gwen will fall for you. Yeah, Chris giving secrets is exactly why I don’t believe he’d let Katie see Sadie like that. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sadie doesn’t get a challenge cameo like so many others have.
Me too Chris! How has Zeke not picked up on this love triangle? Maybe he doesn’t have any real feelings for Courtney, but even Chris can kind of ship it. Still, Duncan makes a good point of officially forming an alliance.
In reality shows, mostly Survivor, there are two ways that the extreme divide in team numbers would be handled. Usually, the eight Eagles would first work in eliminating all the remaining Muskies, or enough that the Muskies couldn’t work together without them. Though they may already be at that point.
Otherwise, especially in a big team that’s been around together so long, they’ll use the Muskies as numbers against their own. That feels more like what would happen, especially given Heather’s animosity. I’ll touch upon this later, but there really are almost two semi-alliances on the Eagles.
Point is, it would be smart for all of the Muskies to join forces and vote together for survival. They would at know at least a fair amount of votes aren't headed towards one of their own and towards someone else. And if they joined up with either Eagles side, they’d have an alliance for once it goes downhill.
Of course, this is if the Muskies didn’t have their own drama and if one of the Eagles sides wasn’t Heather’s side. But it’s still not a bad idea.
Very DJ being straight to the point. I do how you could make an argument for each of the girls deserving it, some more than others. But I am still curious as why Leshawna would outweigh the others. (I wonder if DJ’s short confessional is because it’s for Homeschooled).
This is true; Leshawna was traumatized. I’m put off cheese for awhile now.
I like Leshawna corrected herself from witch to bitch. Though it’s fair, wouldn’t want to insult Dawn. She would be a lot of fun to party with. She burnt Heather good though.
I swear sometimes Lindsay’s Lindsayisms with the names just get worse. But I love them, so don’t stop! I was a bit confused on how she got Madonna and Leshawna mixed up...till I said it outloud. Not to mention M and L are so close in the alphabet...if she knows the alphabet. I don’t know if misunderstood is the best word for Heather. I wonder how seriously Zeke would take that…
Katie’s confessional is really sweet. She know she doesn’t have a lot to give, and just encourages him to pick who he wants, while also showing how she’s just rebelling against Heather. As for the girl Zeke likes...it might be why he didn’t pick Courtney.
Chris is right, trusting each other and voting together as friends basically makes you allies. It’s why I’d kind of consider Leshawna, Gwen, and Trent an alliance. Not that Leshawna and Trent are close friends if we know, but with their connection to Gwen they basically vote as a unit together. Three votes all to one...it’s pretty powerful. (Note: I had this thought in a later chapter actually, but I’ll bring it up again then…)
Heather’s offer is really good. A member of her alliance. I’d be fishy of that final four deal, but it makes sense that coming the merge with the reputation that Heather has and the enemies she’s made she’d want allies. I wouldn’t heed too much of the girls voting him out; this trip is enough proof they probably don’t see him as sexist anymore.
Still, I’d rather not have enemies with Heather and her cronies. Really, Heather gets a lot out of this deal too. She stops a Muskies alliance and gains her own power. She also throws DJ under the bus here, not that Ezekiel seems to make note of it…
Who would I choose? After these pitches I’d have narrowed it two. Who deserves it the most; Katie with all the trauma, plus she’s a great friend. Then there’s who I get the most out of; Heather. Coming down to it, it’d probably be Heather just because this is an elimination game. So I think Zeke and I are in agreement.
“Men are here.” Oh Zeke. I mean I don’t take that as necessarily sexist or even am offended, but you should just not mention gender all for your own safety. Although the notes on the chapter make it sound like it probably wasn’t taken the wrong way.
Ooh Brett. He maybe pretty genre savvy himself. He might do good on the new Total Drama. I wonder if he gets that from his mother…
As for the embellishing, well the Storyteller does do that. Though, it's hard to tell where. But given how gross those foods were, I don’t know if I would doubt that. Especially Leshawna and Owen.
Aww Chef! What a softie at heart! Having to clean is a small price to pay for a delicious meal. I wonder if Chef even enjoys cooking this terrible food for them.
It’s kind of fun that everyone went off in pairs and got to have a rather nice camping experience. Camp Wawanakwa may ruin camping, or even the idea of out for viewers and readers, but camping can be fun.
Honestly, that dinner sounds delicious. How much of a cook are you Gideon? You always make food sound so good!
Dang, I kind of want to know what gossip Ezekiel heard.
Courtney was totally eager. Lindsay and Katie called it! I also loved Lindsay even gets Homeschooled wrong.
I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I do like that the interns came in thirteens as another nice nod to canon. It makes sense they’d have more come at the halfway point. A poor shame that Rodney was completely taken out, though probably best for his own sake. I totally believe Leonardo caused that, especially because Dawn admits he may have powers.
Sky is the perfect intern to be the one initiating a dodgeball game. Girl’s Night indeed. I really appreciate the note on dodgeball too. I never even thought about it being more of a sport in other countries, because I was curious if Katie and Sadie’s school actually had a dodgeball team. That would fit canon too; when people try to pick it apart they make note that Katie has dodgeball skills in the fourth episode.
Courtney would spend a whole hike trying to teach Zeke.
I honestly can’t remember if I predicted what grabbed Zeke. Part of me feels I did, part me of thought I didn’t take it seriously because I suspected it was added to give cliffhanger for the chapter and so it wouldn’t have long term effects. I’m really excited to talk about it, but that’s for next chapter.
This was a fun chapter. A lot of fun character beats. The interesting thing about reaching the merge is how we see more of everyone. Notably, I feel like again I’m seeing more of Lindsay than usual. But that might be inaccurate to say, she did have a lot of stuff going on when Justin was here. It might just because she had hilarious mixups this chapter.
It is interesting as the notes say that there weren’t really any scenes based on canon this chapter. That’s not a bad thing though. The story doesn’t need any to be good, it’s good all the working elements.
I look forward to catching up and reading more! Now to find out who this monster really is...*gasp* Old man Rhonda! 03:20, March 29, 2018 (UTC)
Twenty-sixth Night Discussion & Polls
Twenty-sixth Night Polls
Twenty-sixth Night Discussion
The main reason this chapter was delayed was because I did not know where the cliffhanger would fall until quite recently, so I effectively had to write two chapters at once. On the brighter side, this means the next chapter is mostly written. It may or may not conclude the challenge, and should be posted in just a couple of weeks instead of the usual two months or more. Gideoncrawle I have a song to sing, O! Sing me your song, O! A wandering minstrel, I-- 14:10, May 26, 2017 (UTC)
Long overdue comment incoming!
So let’s get to it: Izzy returns. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Over the years, I think I realize Izzy is one of, if not my favorite Total Drama character (although I guess that shouldn’t be that surprising). I was expecting Izzy and Trent to return, you revealed that to me as a slight spoiler. It makes sense given Izzy is known for returning and for some reason I imagine her as a favorite of yours. Perhaps its just because she is so fun or the big role she had before her elimination.
So I was surprised when Owen returned, especially since Izzy is still living on the island too. I thought she might return, but I wasn’t sure. I had also guessed Izzy might cameo or guest star in other chapters, such as the psycho challenge or the castaways challenge.
But I’m thrilled she is returning! I mean like I said Izzy felt like she had a big role in the beginning of LTDI, and we have the unsolved mystery of Captain McAllister to solve… Also having thirteen campers means that the castaways episode could have an actual elimination. (Izzy is also who I was referring to as someone I could see Owen having more significant interaction with in the merge, given what happens in canon).
Izzy being a crocodile in a past life just feels like something she would say in canon. I can’t remember Izzy even mentioning her past lives in canon, but it just feels so her. I always associate her with snakes, but her green attire also invokes crocodiles.
Also, of course she is swimming nude. Dang Zeke; if you asked me who I thought would be the first contestant to get some action, it would not be him. This is not going to go great for Courtney x Zeke though…
I can’t remember…is what Courtney is worrying about but can’t remember ever addressed? Or is she just worrying about what Zeke and Izzy were doing earlier and making an excuse. I do love Izzy’s philosophy of forgetting words; I think sometimes do the same. I also agree with Courtney; I doubt she would have been ousted than.
Bless Lindsay; she still can’t even remember Heather’s name, but can accidentally diss her rather well. All these interactions between the campers are fun, and very in character for them all.
And now the truth of Izzy…or should I say Captain Rebecca McAllister? I think I may have mentioned it before, but it reminds me of your Fake Souls contribution (which the Author’s Notes confirm is intentional). I can’t remember if Izzy’s first ‘elimination’ in LTDI had happened yet when I writing WTH? but it does have some similarities to what I may have had planned for Izzy in that.
Dizzy Izzy might be less dizzy? As I’ve said before, it could be used to explain her being the storyteller. Still, it feels like it might be very shocking to see this change go on during the story.
I kind of love the idea of someone playing spoiler. It’s a very fun idea, and I’m interested to see how it affects Izzy in the longtime. It might make her a valuable ally; she’s someone you will always beat and depending on if Chris will automatically eliminate her at some point, if you have allies you want to get far with than she’s good for that too. There’s the whole crazy factor to worry about, but no ally is perfect.
It’s honestly depressing to think that Izzy maybe working at a desk job for her future career after this. It still works to provide fodder for her as the storyteller though. Interesting to see Izzy and Dawn’s connection; I’d say it’s quite coincidental they met up, but there are no coincidences in storytelling.
Izzy just dropping that sex bomb. Hilarious! Courtney is so jealous! By the way, was there any other reason Izzy seemed fine to give being up a fugitive? Ezekiel’s thoughts trying to sink my ship…rude. Which is especially terrible, because Courtney is realizing how much she might actually like him.
On to the challenge! I really, really love this challenge! It’s a very clever set up and spin on the original canon challenge, but honestly feels rather original enough that it feels like its own entity. I love that Chris ‘has’ to do an educational challenge because the show is technically for kids.
I’m honestly surprised the commitment that Chris went to for this challenge; it’s very well-thought and detailed for the myth its based on (though I don’t really believe he did all the research or development in it, if he had any part in creating it).
The trailer playing out as a special winner’s reward is a very clever touch. It never struck me how odd it was that such a prize was given away in TDI… Lindsay actually having a strategic thought? Is she evolving or something? Should we be worried about an upcoming apocalypse for this is a sign of the end times?
Cameos! I love LTDI’s cameos and this challenge has a ton. Eva is perfect casting as the Queen of the Amazons. I love the little detail of the logo on the championship belt. Naturally, Duncan had to be Eva’s first challenger. And naturally Eva crushes him! You go girl!
A Jasmine cameo! YESSSSS. Jasmine is probably one of my favorites from PI (Ella and Scarlett, even if I feel they could have used her better, also there). We have all the warrior women this challenge. Well, except poor Jo…and now I’m terrified Jasmine will die. Too Cool To Live as they say. That might just be a rule with interns in general.
I wonder if Chris would ever air confessionals. He’s honestly pretty fair with letting the strategy play out without that much rigging. Well, there was Gwen’s two idols I suppose but I’ll let him claim it was to avoid a law suit for physical damage.
I like the variety of having a nonphysical challenge for the eleventh labor. I suppose it could have been lifting some kind of weight for some kind of time limit, but a little strategy in the mix to throw them off and mix up the physical elements. Nice to see Ryan to. If it’s anything like canon, then I’m afraid he’s with someone else Leshawna. Y’all would be a cute couple though.
I had guessed he palmed it! I can’t remember the quote from tropes exactly, but the trick is not getting you to pick the wrong shell, it’s making you thing there is a right shell.
I love Gwen’s special version of the cattle challenge. Another Monty Python reference is always welcome! Sweet of Gwen to play along. And I like the question was kind of a trivia question that Gwen maybe able to answer. I’m sure Chris, or whoever planned it, could have noted how Gwen knew the answer from archive footage…but they might have chosen that as a test of memory (or to rig it for her).
I’ll be honest, for reason I didn’t expect to see Bridgette. Maybe it’s because she did leave so early or because it wasn’t water related. Or even I assumed she wouldn’t step foot on the Island again. But its good to see her nonetheless!
I guess Chris wanted it to seem like Ezekiel had gotten some kind of comeuppance or karma for his comments? It is sweet of Bridgette to give up and give Zeke a win after that point.
Ennui! I’m so down for a Goth cameo! A horse race makes sense for this challenge, very clever to spice it up with the kyz kuu challenge. Ennui works perfectly as a dark king for this. The horse being named Loki is a nice touch!
A bull fight, or the bull moose equivalent, makes sense for the cretin bull challenge and is kind of callback to the bull moose rodeo challenge as well. I expected Izzy, just like her canon counterpart, to do just as well.
I’m surprised Chris didn’t find a way to make them clean the bathroom stalls or go into a sewage tank with the stables labor, although I suppose those are saved for other challenges. A bonus labor is a nice twist, and a clever way to add some more strategy to the challenge. I always enjoy the little loophole abuses and small strategic ways that the contestants can gain standing on the show.
Ennui’s ‘exaggerated’ moans of pain are akin to the same in canon. A nice way to incorporate that joke in.
I’ve been waiting to see what you do with the Hydra labor, so naturally it works as a perfect cliffhanger. The poor intern, whoever they were may they rest in peace, that was swallowed whole. But no time to mourn I suppose, Courtney has some slippery serpents to wrangle.
The chapter was great. I feel like I say this everytime, but you capture the voices of the characters so well. They really feel both very in canon but more fully realized as well. Izzy was a standout, but again I’m bias. Izzy might be at near the top of my LTDI rankings now, but its hard to distance that with my own feelings.
The challenge was amazing too. It takes a pretty basic challenge for Total Drama and makes it something that has a lot more charm and character. The cameos are great; it’s a tie between Ennui and Jasmine for my favorite, but I’m going to give it to Jasmine for actually winning her duel. My favorite labor might have to the kyu kuz or Eva’s girdle though, since again Eva is so perfectly stunt cast.
Slowly, but surely I’m catching up! Four more (at the moment) to go! Now to find out who this monster really is...*gasp* Old man Rhonda! 03:48, June 18, 2018 (UTC)
Bwaahahahaha I love Izzy!!! Crazy red bombshell! Dresses like a mermaid!! Should’ve guessed it was her, since in the original first season she was the one who took a bite of someone at the Playa de Losers. Sadie, I think. Haha I love that “Weird Red” was a shark and a crocodile in previous lives. ^_^ Suits her perfectly!
Ooooo!! Izzy’s coming back to camp with them to “face the music”! :D I love that they’re talking about Perola, Ella and Angie. I’m hoping we get to see Perola one more time, too.
Ahh! Sweet Cody! He’s making a peace offering to the ladies. ^_^ Oh yay!! New interns, too!!! And the merge??!!! Whoooot!!! Ooooo!! Captain!!? Rebecca??? Very cool!! Yay!!! Izzy’s back for the long haul!!!! Whooohoooo!!!!! :D haha Community service as a camper. Bwaaahahahaahoeehahaha!
Zeke is a wee bit too sheltered, since he is apparently so dense about gals and how they behave. This show is going to change him a lot, I’m thinking, much like the canon Zeke, but hopefully in a more maturing way. Izzy’s sure showing him some adult things. Hope his mind doesn’t crack. *teehee* I’m glad he prefers not to be henpecked, though. More for Duncan (and for our entertainment). Of course, maybe Courtney doesn’t date either, since her “interview tape” in the canon revealed her lack of ability to relate to others in a civil manner under pressure.
Oooo!!! The Twelve Labors of Heracles!!!!! Very cool and educational!! I love that as a "kid's show", Chris is forced to put some education into the challenge. The stable cleaning, the boar, the lion, and something to do with Atlas are really the only labors I remember from school. Nice that since they’re penance labors, we stay emotionally involved in Heracles' story as we travel through his tasks with him.
Bwaahahahaha! Pillory fights. ^_^ Lindsiot strikes again. I love these!!
Whoot!! Camper reward!! The gals will be thrilled to bits if they win! I love your description of it, too. Hey, Gid, I’m wondering if you have the Labors’ list in order in the notes? I like, too, how you’ve randomized the labors. Rolled some dice? Beautiful descriptions of the scenery and the tasks, too. Just curious, how did you decide on “stage” vs. “location” challenges? The going from place to place definitely keeps the interest up, too, since this is such a long challenge.
Yay!!! I love seeing Jasmine again!! Well, figuratively, anyway. She is much like I would imagine an Amazonian princess, and she’s smart and kind to boot. Thanks so much for bringing her into this part of the story!!! Thanks also for that fun little interplay in the pillories, too, between Duncan and Cody.
Awww! Love the Bridge of Death poetry, and the Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference. That’s one of the funniest scenes for me. And you wrote Gwen’s responses beautifully!!
I’m glad you found the kyz kuu. It’s interesting, and I’m glad you found a way to use it. Also, Ennui is the perfect rider for this challenge, mostly because he’s so very atypical of an actual kyz kuu rider. His “…near monotone, “Giddap, Loki!” “ is inspired!
I think I’d learned once how Heracles killed the hydra, but thanks for telling us. Did he have someone nearby with a pile of swords in a fire? Or did he have some caustic acid? Or was he fast enough that he only needed one sword? Was there a crowd of fighters all with white-hot swords? Poor intern. You’ll tell us which one, I’m sure. Eeek for Courtney!
Gid, you know I’m all caught up with the reading, but my commenting is not as fast. Hope you enjoy writing this story as much as I enjoy reading it!! Jay JLOM The wind was too strong to wind the sail. xD 00:28, July 6, 2018 (UTC)