Talk:Total Drama: Mount Olympus

Winner Guessing Contest

Post your signature next to the contestant you think will win Mount Olympus. This is first-come, first-serve, so only one character per user. You can add your name to a character as long as they aren't taken yet. I haven't thought of a prize yet for the winner, it'll come to me soon. Thanks! The brains needed a body. ^{We found our zombies, now we're in.} 03:58, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

Alexandria - Ashley Hikari (talk) 04:04, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

Carl - My awesomeness level is over 90-*shot* (talk) 04:14, March 20, 2016 (UTC)

Charlie - "Perhaps that is the secret. It is not what we do, so much as why we do it." 06:42, September 12, 2015 (UTC)

Chlöe - Chloe Howl >> ¤ IcicleIllusionist ¤

Evan- I can't decide if you're trying to be Ben Vereen or Randy Newman. 07:16, August 18, 2015 (UTC)

George - What could possibly go wrong? 05:03, November 1, 2015 (UTC)

Haru - Also playing were the Dwarves ^{One of the more violent bands.} 03:58, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

Henry- We stopped checking for monsters under our beds when we realized they were inside us. 12:12, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

Ivy - •Sunslicer2• The air is too fresh. It's disgusting. 04:09, August 17, 2015 (UTC)

Jackson - I can see our stars. ☆ 03:56, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

Janelle- Manatee12 ^{"A man destined to hang can never drown. A man destined to drown can never burn. A man destined to fry can never ever ever die in any other way but frying."} 02:30, August 16, 2015 (UTC)

Karma - Enthony, I'm tired of hearing about so many of these obscure bends! If they were good, they'd be #1 on the cherts! 02:33, August 16, 2015 (UTC)

Lito - Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 05:44, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

Maria - Jaxswim ^{fell straight down the rabbit hole.} 03:56, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

Meadow - Uh yeah why not Sonsick at the tee-ball games, I absolve your love. 03:55, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

Nicole - CK ^{Hrey! ^_^} 05:02, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

Sebastian - ZacAttack ^Rawr 04:06, August 18, 2015 (UTC) I will eat your soul and poop it out and shove it down your lifeles, dirty American body, Ash. 

Violet - Hi. This is a Signature. Click on it n stuff 05:42, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

General Talk

My brother is into Greek Myhtology so he might like this, aslo love the logo for your show, looks cool. LPSrocks41thing (talk) 03:19, August 24, 2014 (UTC)

okay wow snatch my weave. I may have listened to Cry Baby for the first time but this was the best part of my day yas! Okay first of all the setting is on point and will probably lead to some cool things bc everyone knows greek mythology so you don't have to worry about #educating us and you can just get to the fun stuff. also Marina is Greek. I beg that you make some reference to that somehow. secondly, the characters DAMN. I'm pretty sure at this point I can remember what each of their personalities is just by their names, which is really impressive for a first episode and it means that you showed them off well in their few lines to the point where they were memorable. lastly, the dialogue and interactions were obviously not capitalized on yet, being the first episode, but I definitely was vibing from this that it'll be really fun to read in future chapters. 

There weren't any challenges or eliminations in chapter one so that's about all I can comment on!! but just gonna make a winner guess for the record (just for fun aye)....................................................................................................... MARIA. aight the next chapter better come out before 2016 Jaxswim ^{fell straight down the rabbit hole.} 03:45, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

So that was a pretty amazing intro chapter. Intro chapters can really be bland/tedious if there aren't interesting characters around, but there were a bunch of great characters here and I love this cast so far <3 I was able to remember the characters and didn't have to keep scrolling up to look at their stereotypes again, which is a good sign. Anyway, uh, Chris was written well etc etc, I love the Greek theme obviously, and let's see with the individual characters... Basically all of Ivy's lines were hilarious, and the best part is that they were all so accurate, I wasn't really sure whether to laugh or think "ohmygod" but she was amazing. Some people may say that neckbeard, or "Pretentious Introvert" in this case (that label <3), vs skeleton is an overdone dynamic but tbh it makes me laugh every time and never gets old, so I'm fully on board with Carl and Ivy. Evan and Jackson also killed me because of their perfectly placed lines, so I think you've got a great group of comic relief lined up thankfully. Then there are some characters who I feel like will get some great development like Violet (who I like a lot, because of the Lemony Snicket series <3), Chloe (unless you #blindside us and she's a super early boot like someone in chat said idk), and Charlie, who I feel like will either be like the first out or an endgamer. But yeah, I feel like everyone is delivering at least somewhat right now (Nicole was kind of forgettable, but meh) and I'm really excited to read more :D (andseethecharacterpages) Sonsick at the tee-ball games, I absolve your love. 04:11, August 15, 2015 (UTC)

I really liked your first chapter! The cast is very distinct character to character and I can already seem some cool plots and rivalries forming, like Alexandria/Jackson and Ivy/Carl. My faves so far are definitely those four, by the way. I love Alexandria's concept and Jackson singing lyrics is hilarious. Just like the real deal, eh? I also love Henry, because detective characters <3 I laughed at Ivy's "Pot calling the kettle African-American" line and Chloe and Chris' subtle rumors vs rumours exchange. Also before I forget, Meadow is an absolute goddess. A Soso reference and the archetype overall is just so fun and I'm definitely rooting for her in the long run! Carl's lines are ironically hilarious. Other low key faves of mine include Nicole and Lito, but I'd need to see more of them before calling them top-tier. Overall a really great start and I can't wait to see how the cast fleshes itself out! --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 05:42, August 17, 2015 (UTC)

(1) - I love greek mythology, so yay for a fic with this theme. It's so fascinating. And I loved the chapter, it was really fun, and the cast is amazing. You did great at showing each character and their distinctive personalities. he shortened intro shade in the beggining. You write really well for Chris, he was very like canon Chris on it. Haru was really funny, I think it'll be interesting to see him looking for a sidekick. Violet. <3 I usually enjoy those profession-based characters, so I'm really looking foward to Henry and Lito. Alexandria is such a HBIC, I can already see her in so many great interactions, with Jackson especially. Speaking of Jackson, he was an hilariously accurate portrayal of the user, and him singing was great. I'm all for Ivy/Carl's clash of views. They both made me laugh a lot, and their rivalry will definitely delivery. I loved Sebastian, he was so sassy and threw shade at everyone. Janelle was pretty funny too. Evan was fabulous- or should I say, Elissa Catharsis. Meadow's introduction was hilarious, I'm interested on her for sure. I love Maria, maybe it's the Brazilian bias, but she's so sassy, I can see her being a great villain. The same for Chloe, her rumours will certainly cause some drama. I'm also looking foward to Charlie, I think there's a nice story coming for him. That was a great chapter, especially for an intro chapter, and I'll definitely read more. <3 "Perhaps that is the secret. It is not what we do, so much as why we do it." 06:38, September 12, 2015 (UTC)

(1)

I said I comment, though I'm sorry its so late :p

First off, the description was wonderful! I could not only really see the location, such as the decaying Mess Hall, but feel and smell it as well! I also love the choice of location and how you used that as a theme, such as the chariots, the team names and the elimination ceremony. I look forward to seeing how the challenges are done in regards to it.

Chris was written well, feeling like the canon version. I like the touch of him in a toga and thought it was clever he considered himself the biggest god xD (I enjoy the reference to when they visited Greece, and noticed he failed to mention how he knew nothing about Greece :p)

Most of my notes were regarding characters as it was the introduction chapter, so that’ll probably have to wait until rankings which I will be making ;) I will say about my rankings that a lot of characters are in netrual because I don't know them all to well yet, but that'll change by the time I read future chapters.

I do have some stray observations here;

• Clever chapter title!

• I love the bit of having no one noticing Charlie xD

• Was there a reason Chris forgot to mention Chloe? (I’m assuming its because she wasn’t officially a member of the show just yet and so wasn't in his notes).

• I’m curious to see what’s up with the forest…

• Nice idea for everyone to make a confessional!

Overall, it was a really nice chapter; again I love the themes and location in it and the cast seems good too. I hope to read more soon <3 What could possibly go wrong? 03:14, December 25, 2015 (UTC)

(2) 

Since you read and gave me your thoughts on the first chapter of Genesis, I decided I should finish TDMO as thanks <3 Expect some ranking updates too ;)

Interesting you didn’t have a recap; I don’t know if because the chapter continues right after the last one or if you don’t just use them (personally I don’t to eliminate word count).

I’m really liking Nicole, I enjoy her positive attitude here. Karma’s greek allusions were a nice touch. Ivy telling Nicole not to be preachy >_> No one enjoys a hypocrite Nicole.

George and Alexandra’s alliance sounds promising, especially if it helps Alexandra (who is again hilarious in this whole scene xD). And George made his money illegally? I don’t remember that being mentioned, how does she know that? This scene seems to be setting George up as an antagonist…

Violet and Charlie’s scene was rather nice. I do find it a bit weird that Charlie said “your just as crazy as me.” Umm, I think being chased by a murderer in disguises is a little crazier than being invisible Charlie. And what have you shown that’s been crazy so far?

And a Jax and Sebastian conflict? Makes sense in hindsight xD I’m rooting for Jax ;)

I’m not sure whether Ivy and Meadow’s friendship is going to be genuine or if Ivy is going to bully or use Meadow to get herself further.

And Janelle and Haru already forming a conflict? It was an interesting one, I think Haru did bring up a good point about psychics and how they are somewhat exploitive. Janelle reasoning he was hungry does seem to make her seem not like a psychic, though it was clever.

A Karma and Maria friendship sounds awesome <3 Though not a fan they’re ganging up on Nicole for it :(

I like Henry came up with the plan given he’s the smart guy. Although he’s not very bright in suspecting anything out of Violet. Not good that Charlie’s fallen in love with her (though hilarious set-up with the confessionals). Also, I just like that when Evan flirted with Lito, Lito didn’t do a stereotypical disgusted reaction.

xD George’s father’s company is N.A.S.T.Y.G.R.O.S.S.? That’s hilarious (and yeah George has to be an antagonist). Also Jax’s whining bit was pretty funny.

So wait now? Alexandra and Evan have a history together? And Alexandra wants to defeat Evan? Wow. Wasn’t expecting that but I love it <3 It adds a little complexity to Alexandra, showing how obsessed and fallen she is that she’d do this, girl needs some help :(

Woo, Violet helping her by building a compass (and it was clever in what she used to construct it, felt like something that would work and be made by an inventor in a time of need).

Also, that bone riddle was really clever! Never would have thought of that! Jax solving it was nice too :p

And we meet the Minotaur! xD I kind of forgot he was here. So was the Minotaur actually Chef? And way to go Evan for using the glitter! Didn’t realize he was that much of a dirty player however. And what are they going to do without their cabins?

And now Chloe takes center stage! I wasn’t sure how to feel about Chloe throughout this chapter, she just seemed to make vaguely antagonistic statements at first. However in this last challenge she made me really like her with her devilish, mischievous nature <3 Her lines were written very well too, they had a, for a lack of a better word, distinct flavor to them.

What did she do in the woods? How was she already at the elimination site? And it does seem very weird she got a gold apple for herself… what is she hiding? I feel she maybe she changed the votes.

I wanted to make sure I also said that once again, your descriptions are amazing! The maze and minotaur were nice and I loved the talk about the look of the elimination ceremony! Someone needs to draw an image of that!

Sad Violet left, but I think she was a good first out, she didn’t seem like an obvious first out, felt developed enough and it feels like her elimination was more for Charlie’s story.

However, it does seem like Charlie is being set up as kind of a main character. Not a bad story (I like the character, again especially him being forgotten) but I think he does need to be developed more.

One thing that I think might be easy and nice is establish character pages. I feel a lot of people overlook them, but I think they’re important. Besides being interesting for foreshadowing, they’re a way to establish the character to the audience, letting us know who they are as their roles and voices are still being developed in the story.

The links to their pages at the beginning of the chapter are useful to remind us who these characters are (since its been way too long since I’ve read I did have to be reminded who was who a few times) and there are several empty links or links to wrong pages. I’d fix some of the wrong links or wait off on using links until you have the pages.

Overall, a good chapter O! I still feel like I need to know some characters a little more and have them fleshed out, but you did a clever challenge, a good elimination and set up some good character interactions I’m interested in seeing more of. What could possibly go wrong? 03:37, March 20, 2016 (UTC)

Zactastic Corner

(1) I'm not late am I? Every one else was just SUPER ealy... Sorry I feel bad, but I got super distracted, I'm doing an honours degree so like time is prescious and stuff. 

FIRST off let's talk umm, let's talk location? I love the idea of being on Mount Olympus. It just gives you so much wiggle room for all sorts of unique challenges, cameos, and ~events! to happen that could really make this season SUPER unique, but at the same time entertaining. The biggest task for you will be to make the theme evident throughout the story. I dislike when people use a really cool theme but then don't capitalize on the idea. Can you imagine how Total Drama World Tour would have been if they only visted countries in Africa? Or how Total Drama Hotel would be if the only ~hotel~ part of the show was the setting. Or if Total Drama Frozen only made minor references to the snow? Embrace the theme, and let it GUIDE you to success. 

Speaking of Frozen I was getting very ~me~ vibes from the first paragraph, I think I'm of the small majority who will write the first  paragraph of the first chapter in that particular style and I smiled a little when I read it- plus it also was used to set the scene so great job there! I may aswell mention how amazing Chris (and his Chris-Statue) is! I love when people write for Chris, and they usually end up adding on a ~twist~ to show his evolution. For you, I feel like Chris is really over the whole Total Drama series as a whole, and just wants to relax, but maybe that's just me? (Also  Chef in outfits <3 This feel very TOTAL DRAMA) 

Moving on, I think that you really did the introductions well for the most part. I'll elaborate more later on that.... The one thing you did, that I suppose is very typical of TD Stories is to use the ~Intro Speal~ approach to introductions. Which basically means that characters will be introduced, and then vanish, asides from one-liners here and there. Mind you Alexandria managed to pop up a number of times after for some interactions... This is opposite the more inter-action heavy intro's where characters interact to really showcase who they are, and build story potential... That being said in this case, because of how your characters are very ~character~ like, it worked out better. I know who every one is, and if I don't like them I can ditch the story without wasting more time. I just hope interactions start to get built up in the next chapter :) 

NOW. Since I will be making a rankings for the story, but I plan on reading the next chapter after I comment, I want to give my opinion on the characters here, so you can atleast see that before the second chapter. I'll give some feedback/ideas aswell... (faves to least faves) 

Alexandria - I think this was fairly obvious? I've made it more than a little apparent that I love Alexandria. She is literally everything that I love in a character; blonde, popular and dumb. I have very simple tastes.... HOWEVER. I do not think she's as dumb as she may seem. She gave it away when she was talking about stealing from her father, my guess is that Lexi is actually rather smart, and I would love to see that kind of story play out. Just avoid the obvious route. 

Sebastion - Again, nothing too surprising. He fits my favourite guy type. Ego, a little gay and ZACTASTIC. Out of all the one-liner characters you have, and you do have a good amount, I think he's the best. I personally don't find him to be repetitive or boring. I would like to see him in a lower position? I feel like a lot of characters who are written with an ego end up on top of things to start and it goes down hill from there. I think it would be nice to see someone like Seb, who honestly could be seen as weak by the others on the lower end of the toem pole, but have a massive ego and work his way up, FOIL to Haru? 

George - First, some back-story. I attend one of the more business-related post-secondaries in the area, and we also have about 3 girls for every guy. So in my school we have a term we use for the guys who are studying a BBA, because they're all bros, buff, and usually wear suits atleast once a week - Bro Ties. It's a pun if you didn't get it... But anyways I am HOPING George ends up being like one of the bro ties. He seems like he could very well be one, and I am curious on where you go with him. Story wise? I feel like you have some idea for him, and I really want to see what it is before I give any ideas. 

Chloe - I loved the contract scene <3 I feel like that really kicked her off to a point where the viewer was able to understand who she was, without getting into a legnthy explanation that would have been boring. I feel like she is going to be an amazing character and based off of outfit choice, is one of my faves. I feel like you might have a challenge with trying to make her unique to other characters who fit the same ~secret~ idea in other stories, but with a cast so.... diverse I feel like you can do it. 

Violet - I actually also really enjoyed the book series. So I am definately happy she is here. That being said i can't see her making it to Chapter 5. Reference characters are usually used for 1 of two reasons. First, the writer loved a character so much, that they wanted to tell their own story with the character, and devolope them more- in these cases they usually go very far. Or the writer loved the character, either had a very quick story to tell, and so they can go home early, or has no story to tell, but by eliminating a ~known~ character, you can in a sense avoid the feeling of Empty Shell First Boots. Based on her use in the first chapter, I don't feel like you have a story to tell with her and that she is going to be going soon. NOW if I'm wrong I would really like to see her take someone like Haru in as a younger brother.

Haru - I'm actually a surprise fan of the little bugger. I think it's his ego that makes me so drawn to him. BUT I feel like he oddly has a large amount of potential in the story. He's funny, and already has a rough start with Chris. I feel like he can be used as the ~young~ character, but have a new and interesting twist on it. Maybe pair him with Violet, or Chef? 

Jaxx - He's just so irrelevant, but relevant. It's hiliarous. I am really looking forward to seeing how he grows, and when and if Alexandria gets annouyed with him! 

Meadow - She's actually really adorable, and is another character where I just want to wait and see before I really start making judgements. 

Maria - She is a character who I feel got the short end of the stick in this chapter. So I'm not sure how I feel about her. She could be the funniest character ever, but she might just be a hot body for the guys to stare at? Either way I look forward to seeing how her brazilian accent goes! 

Janelle - I don't know how I feel about her. She is very unique, and has lots of potential. I feel like in the next chapter she will really become who she is for the rest of the story. Like, she relies on one-liners, but also requires interactive lines to work? So we'll see how she goes. But I feel like when the ~big Baddy~ of the season is prominent it would be neat for her to fore see their elimination, and so they use Janelle to figure out exactly how to avoid it, and it works but then Janelle gets eliminated and they have to figure it out for themselves. 

Henry - He started off great, but by the end of the chapter I felt like he was starting to get old. I could be wrong and you might reallty reintroduce him in a new way in the next chapter. But as it stands I don't see him doing much asides solve a ~mystery~. I would prefer he be an early out, because if he's going to solve a mystery it may aswell be at the losers resort. 

Nicole - Nicole.... I just don't know what to say about her? She's an active person. Cool story? Except it's not a cool story. WHY is she so active? Is she running from something in her past? Is she afraid of getting old? Does she want to be the fastest woman alive? Or is she just a very atheletic person with no story? 

Karma & Lito - These two are just in the same boat for me. I'm not exactly sure what they're trying to accomplish and I'm very on the fence about them. They really need some more focus in the next chapter if not cut your losses and eliminate them soon. 

Charlie - He seems familiar ;D But like. He didn't do anything, Walflower or not. if they could make an interesting protagonist a walflower in both a movie, and book. I believe you can do so in a number of chapters. (This sounds harsh but it's not meant to be D: Just give him more screen time) Maybe have him hang around Chloe.... I feel like they would have some interesting interactions or Lito for the lol comments. 

Evan - I will be completely honest, I have no clue who he or she is. I feel like I am missing something (which is possible I do tend to skim read sometimes). But there is something that is connecting for me with this character. 

Ivy - I am prolly going to get lynched for this. I will not DENY the fact that she is written nicely, she is a strong character in that sense. For me though, I cringe whenever she speaks. She's annouying to me, and feels very much a zinger-character. Story wise I can see her easily getting into a massive rivalry with someone, or some like Chloe discovering she isn't so politically ccorrect as she seems. 

Carl - If you have EVER read any of my reviews, or rankings his ranking should not be a surprise. I despise these types of characters. I find them revolting, and disgusting. But that's a me thing, I am sure that some people find them funny (See Toad, and your other commenters). For me, I think I would like to see a 'neckbeard' character get changed by a ~pretty~ girl. Maybe Alexandria believes that he can be a charity case for more publicity? 

Sprinklemist was known for implanting little hints as to who could win his stories. And so I'm not sure if it was intentional or not, but I do believe that Alexandria will be winning this story. The reason being, when in Greece, it's usually a good thing to share a name with the Alexander the Great? Surprised no one else pointed it out... but MERP. I wanted to read chapter 2, but I'm going to take a nap now :3 I'm rather ill. BAI ZacAttack ^Rawr 14:06, October 7, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for reading/commenting, Zac (and everyone else, I can't get to you all ◕︵◕)! I definitely think the theme gives me a lot of opportunities to incorporate it into, not just the challenges, but the actual season itself. I think I was most nervous about the description, that's evident in the first chapter and throughout the whole story. I'm really glad you enjoyed that and managed to make a connection to your own writing style, it's an honor. <3 I'll definitely focus on more interactions in the next chapter, I guess I focused too much on introducing the characters instead of setting up the plots. As for your cast assessment, I don't want to spoil anything so I won't comment further, but I will say that you're really observant and spot-on about some stuff! I can't wait for you to read chapter 2. ^_^ The brains needed a body. ^{We found our zombies, now we're in.} 04:34, October 8, 2015 (UTC)

(2) FIRST! I think? I don't know I don't keep track of things very well... 

Let's start with some... eh, some writing tips shall we? 

I'm actually really happy that you started with some interactions prior to the challenge. This really helps make the story more than just a competition and I really hope you keep that up. HOWEVER. You didn't balance it at all. Now before I continue this could be fine depending on how you plan on writing. There are usually two major ways of writing scenes out- equal, and then focused. Equal, for example would be like my story Frozen, or Tides. Everyone will have (give our take a bit) an equal amount of scenes every chapter. I usually do this by having 1 scene before the challenge, 1/2 during and 1 after, and then the extras.  Doing this ensures everything is seeing progress in their stories. 

However you can choose to write focused. Which will usualy involve the eliminated contestant, the ~major~ ant and protagonist, along with a couple of other side characters every chapter seeing a larger portion of the screen time. This works to some extent, and I usually reccomend this for 20+ cast. The major downside by going this route is that it makes eliminations easier to predict, gives a sense of ~security~ for a few characters, for example based off of this chapter Chloe, and Charlie feel ~safe~, Chloe being the ~bad~ and Charlie the ~good~ character. Because of this, if either does end up eliminated in the next few chapters there is a good chance it would feel either rushed, or robbed. I say robbed because imagine if Gwen was eliminated early on in total Drama Island, she was set up from very early on to be the character to route for, likewise if Heather was eliminated early (despite being a happy moment for the readers) the writers would have robbed themselves of a story line that could easily continue, and then they would be lacking a villain to fill her role. 

Now, I'm not sure if you did this intentionaly or not, so I'm not really going to go into much more detail. However I just wanted you to know that you did do a fairly uneven amount of screen time for a handful of the cast, which is better than most stories, but can lead to tricky situations if you choose to continue that way. 

I WANT to talk about foreshadowing. Because I don't know if you've done it on purpose or not. But there was some lovely foreshadowing for Violet's (uncalled for) elimination. Charlie's first confessional mentions how happy he is to have Violet, and how she is the only one who understands him. This (even though I knew who went home) shot Violet up on my elimination rador. I've already mentioned the whole Alexandria being the winner possible foreshadowing... But you also foreshadowed to an epic showdown between Alex and Ethan, which I am looking forward to if only because it will be funny. 

On that note again, I'm not sure if this is intentional I do enjoy that you are planting seeds for the future. From this chapter the following Plots COULD be explored, but you never really forced it 

• Alex & Ethan: Their past, and Alex getting her revenge 
• Charlie & Chloe: Charlie eventually discovering that Chloe is why Violet went home 
•                Lito: Lito seems to know Chloe is up to something, so he would prolly play a role 
• Meadow  & George: The obvious rivals due to beliefs 
• Meadow & Ivy: Similiar beliefs to some extent, but a  budding friendship 
• Haru & Henry vs Janelle: Haru has a strong dislike for the supernatural being... 
• Alex & George: their ~alliance~ and how Alex plans on destorying him. 

These are the major ones that I picked up on anyways. And this kind of throwsback to the idea where certain characters were used more often than others. because characters like, Meadow, Charlie, and Alex have a number of potential stories set up, they have the slimmest chance of going home soon because they have the most plot armor. 

Can we talk about the elimination? First off, I LOVE the elimination setting it's really fitting, and not only that but the cast really makes it  feel more alive. I can only expect someone like Meadow freaking out when she sees it, or Ivy having a feud with Chris about it. ANYWAYS, Whether it was intentional or not, you made it fairly clear Violet was going home this chapter. If that was the intent, really good job, if not here's what happened. 

1. The minor foreshadowing with Charlie 
2. TWO different characters having a confessional where they expressed they want Violet out 
3. Lack of obvious other choice. I don't even remember who else was in the bottom, but the only other logical choice would have been Chloe, assuming the cast pulled a bruno and got rid of her for playing too hard. 

Anyways, not only was it on the obvious side, I feel like you REALLY shot yourself in the foot with her elimination. Out of everyone on her team, I, atleast have the most ideas for her. And again there's a sense of her being robbed, it would have been GREAT to see her friendship with Charlie grow, and I feel like it could have helped both characters, and then given a nice ~rivalry~ for Chloe, after her plan failed. But YOU"RE the writer, so I'm sure you have plans and she likely just gave a big boost to Charlie's story so it's a win-lose situation. I just feel like if you had eliminated someone like Henry, who I think has had a total of 3 lines in two chapters and then eliminated Violet after giving some more time for her story and Charlies, and Chloes story to grow you would have been better off. 

I'm going to go into some of the interactions that I personally really enjoyed, and a few I would like to see now. 

Jaxbastion - WHETHER OR NOT YOU CARE. I love these two as a pairing, and would actually LOVE to see them together more often. I feel like they are ~similiar~ in some degrees but than opposites in others. PLUS they started off on the wrong foot so I would really like to see a rivaly, but it being REALLY petty and everyone else on the team just ignores them. but then later on in the story they end up having to work together and realize they could be BF(F)'s. And then see them take down CHLOE together. (PS Jax says 'idrc tbh' so like :DDDDDD) 

Ethandria - SPEAKING OF PETTY. I think it's well-known Alexandria is one of my faves. So knowing that she joined strictly to sstick it to Ethan made me so HAPPY. And I actually really like that idea and I hope you really develope it further. I can only imagine Ethan gettting eliminated and then Alexandria lecturing him on why she did it, and then he's like I still dont remember you. 

Jaru - I actually really enjoy the idea of these two being rivals. ONLY because they are the most wtf characters in your story. And I can really see them having some AMAZING interactions. And a MASSIVE blow-out that sends one of them home. Also can I add how terrible of a super hero Haru is? Like legit he needs a better day job. 

Hento - This is more or less because I LOVE Lito. I'll explain when I do the rankings in the blog (probs not tonight sorry :() And I want Lito to have some more meaningful interactions, and Henry is kinda pointless at the moment, and since he is her and Violet is not, I am expecting him to do something. So my idea would be Lito uses Henry to get the scoop on Chloe, and together they ~build~ a case against her, until their team finally gets rid of her. 

Georgia - I feel they are really irrelevent, but then again most of the team is atm (due to not facing elimination). But these two could really do something fun. I can see Maria being all over George once she realizes that he has money, and George either being insanely weirded out, or basting in his hunkiness and using Maria as his arm candy. (Which ofcourse Ivy would not be too excited about.) Meanwhile Carl would only stare in disbelief and maybe go to Nicole for advice (weight wise) 

With all of that being said, I want to start posting my predictions for eliminations. I think that this is only wishful thinking, but Nicole is my guess. (Karma a close second.) I don't see anyone on the Olympians going home as they all need another chapter to grow out (asides from Henry but I think you forgot he exists.) And out of everyone on this team, I could see some ideas being tossed around, asides from Nicole who annouys me to death. ZacAttack ^Rawr 22:04, October 10, 2015 (UTC)

Ok... so I low-key regret not commenting on this last night because I kinda forgot a lot about what actually went down. First off, you already know my thoughts about the way the chapter was structured for the most part but I'll just go into that a little bit more anywho. You write in a similiar way structure wise that I do. I.E a round of scenes for everyone before, after and during the challenge. This is the easiest way to maintain balanced characters in terms of viewing. HOWEVER, I have learnt that you need to make things imbalanced. You need to, atleast for a chapter or so have some characters appear as bigger characters than other. Not everyone NEEDS to be getting a story every chapter, but they should be apart of some story every chapter. I wrote a WW on this, and I think it might help if you read through it. I'm not saying that what you're doing right now is bad, however by having a range of visibility it makes it easier for your point to get across in a chapter. Remember that each chapter should have a beginning, middle and an end and should have it's own story. 

Moving on... let's talk about the location? I am still loving the overal lovation of this story. The parthenoengibeubfd are great. I like how their setting interacted with their lines. You're really using the theme of the story  to the fullest which is important. Another great use of this, would be in the challenge(s). Having Medusa show up was a great choice for the challenge. I've already spoke to you more in depth about the challenge itself but as a general tip, any interaction made during a challenge SHOULD usually relate towards the challenge in some way. If you are able to transplant a scene during a challenge to any other point in the chapter it will feel off. 

Moving on to the only other thing that REALLY BOTHERED ME (asides from Nicole, but what's new there?) Was the way the challenge ended. i still don't really know what happeend between Charlie and Evan? It's just a mess in my head, but thats prolly because I was tired tbh. OH and then the whole Hentry situation, but as I said last time I low key think you just forgor that he existed. I think if you were to change ANYTHING in the story, it would be to not include him because he has done well nothing so yeah :) 

JAXBASTION is still my favourite p airing in this entire show. They need to date. They are too cute. They need to be like Courtney and Duncan at each others throat and then they randomly make out and everyone just gasps at them. I will be utterly heart broken if either of these two go home soon. 

ALEX AND ETHAN. Honestly their rivalry is the only redeeming quality in Evan. And that prolly just goes to show how strong a character Alex is <3 I can not wait for her to send Evan packing. And I hope she does it in a very mean, and cynical manner. 

The Jaxx/Meadow duo is also SUPER <333. Honestly I think Jaxx, paired with anyone would be really good. With Alex? I could see him doing a lot, and with George omg! I know you have a lot of the elimiantions planned, but I don't think you can afford to lose a character that is as versatile as him at this point. Like his conflict with Gagging Carl would be really nice to explore more! 

Haru being a fail hero needs to continue to be a runnign gag please. Like all the way up until the finale when he somehow manages to win. I would love that <3 

SO FOR ONE SCENE I actually liked both Nicole and Carl. So way to go. As a pair they are slightly interesting and dont make me want to vomit. Hopefully that stays that way, because I don't enjoy vomitting. 

The only other BIG scene I can think of was George/Maria which felt very WTF out of place but I still loved it. I think out of everything it was the best in this chapter, and I hope future scenes are similiar to this. Not the sexy good times bit but the fact that it was interesting, dynamic and different. Plus having Karma off to the side really made it all the more interesting,. 

Ummm I don't know what else to say.. so if I think of anything else Ill pm you <3 ZacAttack ^Rawr 18:34, July 3, 2016 (UTC)

Space's Section

Chapter 1: My Big Fat Greek Welcome

So the first major thing I want to say is that I love your description for the most part.  You give us an insight into the characters through their outfits and you don't often delve too deep into their appearences.  Sometimes it feels as though some of the descriptions are a bit forced, such as whenever you said 'round face' it kinda threw me off more than helping me.  I also think you could've delved into the scenery a bit more but the amount that you did was sufficient.

Chris is Chris, he's a wonderful rendition of one of my favorite host characters of all time.  At times his dialogue feels slightly unnatural, but it's very minor and doesn't take away much from my enjoyment.

Now like Zac I'll delve into each character intoduced individually.

Janelle: Janelle has a very Dawn-esque vibe, which isn't a bad thing considering I love Dawn.  Though I hope you do some work in the future to seperate her from her Dawn-esque introduction, just because I love a character doesn't mean I want to see a clone of them in a story.  But yeah Janelle is fun, and I like the possibilities she brings to the table.

Alexandria: Ah the desperately clinging to fame is here, and she's entertaining.  I enjoy her swagger and boastfulness and I feel she'll definitely make for some memorable moments as the show goes on.  I can see her being a major screen hog, which honestly isn't a bad thing as long as she maintains how entertainin she is.

Violet: I'm often drawn to this type of character, the talented person who down plays their talents.  She's the type of character I ususally root for but she'll probably end up going early due to soe misunderstanding here or there.

Lito: I'm enjoying Lito in the little I see of him.  An investigative reporter who's just trying to better himself at his craft, it'll be fun to see where the season takes this guy.

Henry: I barely got an impression of him in this chapter.  All I know is that he's analyzing everything and will probably get in way over his head at some point.

Carl: Oh the socially awkward nerd dude who thinks he's got a shot with the ladies, or shall I call him the fedora wearing neckbeard.  Either way I usually enjoy the hopeless diligence of these characters and love watching how the rest of the cast reacts to them.

Sebastian: Gotta love a man with a plan.  I can see Sebastian being one of the most, if not the most, strategic players in the game.  He's central villain material for sure, but either way he goes he's bound to be cerebral in his approach.

Nicole: Love her already, and she's bound to bring the laughs.  The great part I can see about her is that she can be funny on her own or in groups, and that versatility will lend itself well to the story.

Ivy: Oh god it's the overly dramatic skeleton.  I'm always very split on these types of characters cause they can go from funny to grating really fast.  You're writing her well thus far so keep it up.

Meadow: Don't know what her damage was coming in but she gave my fav character in TD screentime so I guess I shouldn't complain.  I've barely seen a connection to her stereotype thus far but I'm sure there'll be more to come from her.

Maria: Here we go with the girl who's gonna try and use her looks to get to the top.  I don't have much of an opinion yet but I look forward to how she's utilized in the story.

Jackson: I felt the enthusiasm of this guy, and he's clearly going to obsess over a certain other contestant for a while.  I'm liking his personality and I can't wait to see how his interactions shape out.

Chloe: I love the mystery surrounding her, and I can just tell by her stereotype and interactions that she's only here for one purpose, to start all the drama.

Charlie: Love how everyone just kind of ignores him and he gets passed over pretty much everywhere.  It'll be fun to see how long he lasts as an UTR type of guy.

Karma & George: I put these two here because I don't really have a read on either of them but I can tell their both probably going to bring a negative presence to the show.

Haru: Finally we get to this jackass, I fucking hate this character.  It's been one chapter and I already find him so goddamn grating.  The awkward guy who thinks he's more than he is has always been an annoying character archetype for me, but this little shit head is taking the cake as the crown prince of annoying for this story.  I just don't like him at all and I doubt that'll change.  Hopefully he becomes the shows pain sponge so I can revel in it.

That's all for now, more to come later, ciao!  Space was here some time ago and he wrote stuff. 17:01, April 10, 2016 (UTC)

Great stuff for the third chapter! The elimination basically went how I predicted, but I really liked all the character development that went on, especially with Carl. Janelle's tarot scene makes me wonder how we've never gotten any people like that on a real reality show, since they could be right. And I really liked the reward scene. Did you did you, did you know that? I can lift a car up all by myself 22:26, July 2, 2016 (UTC)

Elim table isn't updated, team colors are obviously stolen, story is only on chapter 3. - 4/10 ~Jake R: Signatures? I forgot about these. 03:58, July 4, 2016 (UTC)