Chapter 1: When you give birth to 18 teenagers
Julia: (yawns) Morning girls! Are you ready for another season!
Attica: Yeah, i guess so.
Daisy: Yus! I got so robbed last season, i need meh chances!
Julia: No, you don't.
Daisy: Yes, i do!
Mnet: Girls! Lets not fight over this!
Flo: Shes right, lets not turn this uh English room? Into a warzone.
Yasmine: You know, stop acting like a peacemaker.
Flo: What are you talking about?
Yasmine: Girls, she is faking that flower girl persona!
Nmet: Uh Yasmine,
Nmet: Its season 3, not season 1. Get a hold of yourself!
Lacey: Well this is my first time and i hope to make it far.
Mnet: Trust me, you will.
Lacey: Really, thanks!
Julia: I guess anyone coul- hey! Wheres Olivia?
Yasmine: She went to take a walk so shes familiar with this area. Julia, why are you not fighting Flo?
Flo: URGH! SERIOUSLY! IT ISN'T SEASON 1 ANYMORE! WE ARE ALL PAST THAT! AND IF MNET IS PAST CLASH OF THE ACTION, YOU SHOULD TOO! URGH!
Yasmine: (sniff) Um sorry! (fake cries)
Attica: Flo! Seriously!
Nmet: Even for me, that was dark.
Olivia: Richard! What do you want! The girls are gonna find this suspicious!
Richard: Well its just that uhh
Olivia: Cut to the cheese please!
Richard: Alright, i want to team up with you.
Richard: So we can help each other win the million!
Olivia: Yeah but the only reason i am in this game is because i made it to the right side of the earthquake.
Richard: What are you saying.
Olivia: I don't really need to win since i have already won!
Richard: Then you can help me win!
Olivia: You're good!
Richard: So deal?
Olivia: Deal! (Richard and Olivia shake hands)
Richard: Bye! (walks away) She touched my hand! She is just so- Wait those pieces of dialogue are only effects from oxytocin because of LOVE! (Paul walks by)
Paul: Hi Rachel!
Richard: Its Richard.
Paul: Oh tevie wevies!
Richard: I have no idea of what you are trying to say.
Paul: Onyway, do you know where Oliver- i mean Olivia is?
Richard: NO ONE CAN TALK TO HE- uh she is over there.
Paul: Thanks Robert! See ya sleepshells!
Richard: (rolls eyes) Just go talk to her before i kill you.
Paul: Earliers- i mean laters! (Paul walks away)
Richard: (sighs in love)
Brett: Isaac, Steph my brothers from another mother, you ready to meet the latest member of our squad?
Isaac: Yeah dude.
Steph: Sure thing, but any reason why we have to do it on top of a building?
Brett: Its the only place that i know thats private! Sue me!
Brett: Without further ado we-
Wyatt: (climbs up) Hi.
Brett: Wyatt! You were supposed to wait for your cue!
Wyatt: Sorry, i didn't know!
Isaac: Welcome to the squad bro.
Wyatt: Uh thanks. But now that ive climbed up here, why did we have to meet here!
Brett: Must everyone ask about that?
Steph: Yeah we kinda do.
Isaac: Well i think its kinda fun.
Steph: Since this is now going nowhere, this meeting is now adjourned. (jumps down)
Brett; Ok. (jumps down)
Isaac: What does adjourned mean?
Wyatt: Just follow us. (Jumps down)
Brian: Wow! This is my first day competing! Is it fun?
Undulen: Uh why do you ask? Youll see!
Londoya: Whatever, i havent competed since Clash of the Action and i am ready for it.
Undulen; (sings badly) Oh! Londoya is such a loser, and Brian such a loser! Undulen is the only good one!
Brian: Actually, where did everyone else go?
Londoya: (rolls eyes) Paul and Richard went to talk with Olivia and the rest a having some type of meeting!
Brian: Its just that, i would have thought you people would think more strategically about this.
Londoya: I see your point.
Undulen: Whatever, i will make finale one way or another and if it means getting you two annoying losers out, so be it!
Brian: How did you make last seasons final! No seriously, with that attitude-
Undulen: SHUT UP! I made that finale and i am planning on making this one too! (mumbles) Stupid annoying two faced curious newbies. Hmph.
Brian: Is he always like this?
Chris(on school communication system): Hello victims i mean contestants! Its time for your first challenge!
Undulen: Yeah and i heard what you said.
Chris: This season, our challenges will be based on life events! And by that i mean, from baby to bone breaking ages.
Theodore; Im right here,
Chris; Yeah sorry, and the first event that has to happen to anyones life is BIRTH!
Chris: Yeah, if you noticed there are 10 gigantic models of the average pregnant woman about to give birth. There is also a spinner there with all your faces on it. Once youre selected from the thing, you have to try and get out by any means possible, first three to get out get to pick the teams! Thats right, three teams this time, not two! Any questions?
Attica: Yeah, you said there are 10 models, but theres 18 of us!
Chris: Yeah the spinner will choose the first ten to do it. Once those ten are selected, we continue with the challenge! Understood!
Attica: Uh alright?
Chris: Anyway, lets start spinning!
(spinner lands on Nmet)
(spinner lands on Brett)
(spinner lands on Julia)
(spinner lands on Brian)
(spinner lands on Flo)
(spinner lands on Steph)
(spinner lands on Olivia)
(spinner lands on Wyatt)
(spinner lands on Londoya)
(spinner lands on Undulen)
Chris: That is our ten! Now Theodore or Ms Gonzalez will now lock you in one of your models! And the very first challenge of the season starts NOW!
Nmet: Well, the tummy is impossible now and there are a few exits available. And all are gross but ill go through the mou- are those scissors?Oh yeah baby! (cuts a hole and jumps from the suit)
Nmet: Im here! I made it!
Chris: And Nmet is out! Two more now!
Undulen: Hmm, this is weird. Well, time to find a way out. Hey? What is that green stuff up there? (pokes the "green stuff" which is actually vomit) Why does my finger smell weird, is this slime or (the vomit pours in) Eww! Ugh! And its rising! Undulen i need to find a way out of here! AGH!
Flo: Hmm, why is this air so thick! I need to find a way out now! I could go from the nose? Its gross but it works! But now how do i get there? Lets see. (climbs up)
Julia: So, now that i am in here, time to get out. Ms Gonzalez locked it at the tummy, and huh? (Sees a hair shaver) What is this going to do! Typical cheap producers, always making jokes when they can. Maybe i can shave Chris's hair with this! Whatever, Julia focus!
Brett: I am going to die in here aren't i. Well might as well try to find a way out, if im right most of the open holes in the body is in the face, but i think the mouth is the only one that works, well, time to to find my intestines!
Olivia: Oh he's so sweet fighting for me just so i can continue! (sighs in love) Whatever, he did that for me and i have to pay the price now! Well what is this thing made of? Feels like styrofoam and cardboard. So anyway now i need to break it. With (sees wirecutters) wirecutters? Gee, thanks Chris, ill use this to cut all of the wires connecting the cameras in this whole school so we cant watch! Hehe!
Wyatt: Londoya seems pretty loyal, maybe thats why the names are similar. But anyways, time to get out. Is that a door! Lets see what it leads too? (opens door) Woah! Why are there so many wires in this thing! Im kinda scared now. Is that (widens eyes) ERIC! HANNAH! How did you get here?
Eric: Long story, but were dead bones with old skin now,
Hannah: (sniff) Yeah! All we've had to eat is these berries which we dont even know if they're poisonous!
Eric: And the only water source is Hannah's sweat! Girl needs to get out more!
Hannah: We cant sleep with all these wires, its uncomfortable!
Eric: Try being next to you with your snoring and turning and tossing!
Hannah: Haha! Sorry!
Wyatt: Then come with me!
Eric: No, judging by what that looks like, i think id rather stay here
Hannah: I agree with Ericy! That looks bad!
Wyatt: At leas- (door slams) Great!
Londoya: Oooh! Original 14 by 7 cardboard, with bendable styrofoam! You don't get better than this! Haha! Wait, i need to get out, not look at the things here. Well, the only way to cut through 14 by 7 cardboard is with 53 H2 pencils (PS i made everything i wrote here up)! Well, at least i tried to make it out!
Steph: Well, i wanna sleep, but i guess i can try this right now. Is that a hole to jump through! I can make it through that! Anyone can! Wow, maybe i am really different, theres no going back now men. Anyway, time to get out! (hole just disappeared) What happened here! Now i have to find another one! (sigh) Back to normal, again i see.
Brian: Great, doesnt help that i am claustrophobic right now, i want to get out! HELP! Brian, get it together! I need to get out! Wait, always knew this would come in handy! (takes out 53 H2 pencils which were stuck in various places in his clothes. That hurt so much! Anyway! (stabs holes in the carboard) Woohoo! Almost out!
Flo: And ugh! (pops out of nose) Whalla!
Chris: And Flo gets out! She is our second person to make it!
Flo: (gasps) Ugh, need air! I feel sick.
Undulen: The vomit is piling up! Ugh! I cant breath! Too much vomit everywhere! Cant escape! (vomits) Oh no! I can barely see! Who would have thought you could literally die in vomit! And why does Mr Amazing have to be the first one to do so!
Brett: Help me.
Julia: Help me.
Olivia: Help me.
Wyatt: Help me.
Londoya: Help me.
Steph: Help me.
Brian: And the hole is stabbed! Whalla!
Chris: Brian takes the third and final spot! Congrats!
Brian: (gets out) Woohoo! I made it! And in the top 3!
Chris(on school communication system): Everyone! Our three have managed to make it out! So Theodore and Ms Gonzalez will come to let you out!
Undulen: About (gags) time.
Some unlocking 7 contestants from a giant baby model later
Chris: So we'll go in the order you made it out, Nmet, then Flo, then Brian. So you may decide now!
Nmet: I choose Mnet obviously, shes my girl!
Flo: Well, i guess Olivia? I dont know.
Olivia: Alright, thanks!
Brian: I am super stuck between Lacey and Paul, and sorry Lacey but i cant really pick you right now, so Paul?
Paul: Good to see you kept witt i mean with the deal?
Yasmine(to herself): What deal could this be, ive gotta find out!
Lacey: Really? Yay!
Nmet: Wyatt, your turn.
Brett: Least i have one of my dudes with me.
Wyatt: Uh alright.
Brian(to himself): What could this be, i have to find out!
Flo: Where was i, oh Attica?
Attica: Great! Thanks Flo!
Brian: Because of her strength, Julia.
Julia: Only cause of my strengths! Wow! Rude!
Nmet: I choose Steph and only cause i can relate to him.
Steph: You sure about that?
Nmet: .... Shut up before i change my mind.
Flo: Looking at the five people left, Isaac.
Steph: Oh great.
Wyatt: Nice knowing ya Isaac!
Isaac: Chill, our squad of four will stay in touch even if we're on different team brothas!
Brett: DUDE! You just got us, and more importantly you into jeopardy!
Olivia: Wow, Isaac, unless there is a team swap, you are so dead the first time we lose!
Brian(to himself): Drama that i am not in, excellent!
Yasmine(to herself): Drama kids to pluck on, excellent!
Richard: Brian, did you say something?
Brian: No! Nothing at all, anyway, i choose Undulen and only since he did the best out of everyone left.
Nmet: I guess ill choose Londoya!
Flo: I obviously choose Dai- (Yasmine trips her over) Oww! Yasmine!
Yasmine: Guess im on your team, you said my name!
Flo: WHAT! That doesnt count!
Chris: Yes it does, and that leaves Brians team with Daisy!
Daisy: This piece of perfection got chose befores Undulen, Julia and Yasmine! EWW!
Chris: Your team leaders will now think of a team name!
Nmet: I choose "The Winning Team!"
Flo: The Strategic and the Sporty!
Olivia: Are you sure about that?
Flo: Fine then, The Flivchicacne team!
Note` to those who actually want to try and say this it is a mix of their names and pronounced like this
Fl in Flo
iv in Olivia
ch in Richard
ic in Attica
ac in Isaac
and ne in Yasmine
Chris: Can we just initial it to the first letter of their names, too hard to pronounce that!
Flo: Ok then so Team Foraiy!
Chris: Great and Brian?
Brian: Team Iqaluit!
Chris: Ok then, great! Make a conf and then get ready to go to sleep, somewhere...
Attica(private place): Well, Team Foraiy, interesting name, i hope i can at least make merge this time round!
Brett(private place): (sigh) Great, i might be able to stay for a while but Isaac is so dead when they lose! What can i do!
Brian(CONF): No one knows my plans, i will walk away 2 million dollars richer from this school. And i will do whatever i can!
Daisy(CONF): That Brian boi is smoking' but as if that will affect ma games! Undulen and Julia are DEAD!
Flo(CONF): I dont believe there were three names i had to make before they all worked! But whatever, now i need to find a comfortable place to sleep.
Isaac(CONF): Oh bro no! I am bamboozled when we lose next! Well this Foraiy dude wont go anywhere without a fight!
Julia(CONF): One long season with Daisy and Undulen coming up! And FYI Brian, not everyone is from Iqaluit! Sorry! I'm just stressed.
Lacey(CONF): Eek! I am with Brian! But i wonder what he meant about picking Paul over me!
Londoya(CONF): The Winning Team? Overconfident much! Wowzers! Well, i hope Wyatt can help me now!
Mnet(CONF): I have to say it now that none of my teammates are here, i dont actually want to compete, but after Season 2, i found out my family was broke. So i really need to win now.
Nmet(CONF): I hope to form an alliance with Brett and Mnet, but lets see if Brett will slip from his "bros". He is very loyal, i learnt that on MasterCooker. He always gave me his spare stuff when i burnt the food.
Olivia(CONF): Wellity well well, Team Foraiy! Weirdest name ever! Anyway, i hope me and Rich- (Blushes) And the rest of my team can win a lot.
Paul(CONF): What are we supposed to do again?
Richard(CONF): Yes! Me and Olivia, (blushes) uh are on the same team! Wait, that was just uh, my cheekbones having heat exposure problems! Hehe, totally!
Steph(CONF): Well, im gonna missed that guy. And im talking about Isaac, time for the old sixteen year old to bite the dust.
Undulen(CONF): Ha! Brians a fool, now i have 3 targets to beat out, and if you are as stupid as them those three people are Brian, Julia and Daisy.
Wyatt(F): I have four words to say, Sadly. Isaac. Is. Gone.
Yasmine(): Duh, i tripped Flo so she would say my name! I will get MY REVENGE ON HER! People just look at me as some mind reader, but i will tell you IM MORE!
Chris: Well, that was some juicy dirt revealed there, will Yasmine get her revenge on Flo, will Mnet quit, will Olivia and Undulen become a thing? So many questions to be answered next time on Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit!
Chapter 2: Preschool Problems
Eric: Hannah, we need to get out of here.
Hannah: Eek! I know, maybe we should ask Wyatt!
Eric: (opens the door) WYATT? Wyatt where are you?
Hannah: Oh no! He is gone! Eek! What are we going to do!
Eric: Find a way out of here, come through the door Hannah!
Hannah: Okie dokie! (Eric and Hannah walk through door)
Eric: Woah, why are there 10 gigantic models of the human being right here?
Hannah: I don't know, but now that we are out, lets get some food! (trips on a crack from the earthquake and falls in) ARGH! Oww!
Eric: Oh great!
Nmet: (yawn) Hi Mnet!
Mnet: Hi, can i go to sleep!
Nmet: You've been awake for... 3 minutes.
Mnet: Whatever, we need to work on our gameplan.
Nmet: You actually said something like that? We need to befriend Londoya, i could ask Brett but he is too eh attached to his "bros" to do anything!
Mnet: True, but what do we do? He is stronger than us by our rankings, he knows how to play!
Nmet: Look, this is a skill i learnt when i went to compete on Big Sister, wait for time to do its thing, sooner or later, something will happen!
Mnet: I know, gurl you were robbed that season!
Nmet: Tell me about it, i got out just because that Heather girl framed me! So annoying!
Mnet: Whatever, gurl, i feel so different with you! In a bad way, i dont feel like the way before!
Nmet: So youre saying we have gone our different ways, and we have lost our connections?
Mnet: Well, we have a whole season to get it back!
Nmet: Wow! You are really positive-
Mnet: Uh Nmet, thats because you are a depressed headband girl.
Nmet: Oh really! (stomps out)
Brett: Steph, Isaac, what are you doing? We need food to survive so can you help me find it!
Steph: This wouldn't be happening, if the producers got so cheap we have to find our food!
Wyatt: What is this, The Thriver!
Wyatt: TV show, 24 people compete somewhere remote and try to win money,
Steph: That show! Oh yeah, pretty sure they get provided some things while all we get is an annoying host.
Brett: Guys! FOCUS! If we get enough we can give some to the others!
Wyatt: What happened to you!
Brett: I just dont want to die, and in school- (Isaac runs by the three)
Isaac: Hey dudes, can i help you?
Brett: No! Thats what you get for blowing the 3rd rule of the squad!
Wyatt: What rule, you never told me about any rule!
Steph: Same here, you know what. Brett, i am going to find some food myself! (Walks away)
Wyatt: Exactly! (walks away)
Isaac: Ooh, so i guess its me and you now bro?
Brett: Ugh! Trying to stay alive here! (walks away)
Isaac: Dude this is heavy, im out. (walks away)
Londoya: Paul, what are you doing?
Paul: Trying to get the bleed- i mean bood, i mean blood to my head!
Richard: Yeah and why, it will only cause a dizziness effect into your brain causi-
Londoya: Thats great but no one understands what you are saying!
Richard: Whatever, Londoya, can i uh tell you something?
Richard:(whispers into Londoya's ears) I like Olivia. And i dont know what to do, she has me confused! Usually i always know what im going to but now i dont with her! (blushes)
Londoya: Ooh, uh from what i know, play it cool. (whispers into Richards ear) And also, don't make it too obvious!
Richard: Uh, ill take your word on that!
Londoya: Great! Im gonna work on my largest artwork, The Mona Londoya.
Richard: Uh good luck with that! Bye! (walks away)
Paul: Wha wer yo talkin abou wit hi?
Londoya: Paul. Stop hanging your leg to the nail in the ceiling.
Paul: Bu i don watta i mean wanna!
Londoya: You asked for it! (unties pauls knot)
Paul: SSSSH! I mean AAAAGH! eeh! I mean OWW! In the name of liking Olivia that hurt!
Londoya: Wait you like Olivia!
Paul: Yeah, she makes me think and antually
Paul: know what im doing, normally, i dont!
Londoya: Uh oh, this is bad! BAD!
Lacey: Woo! Girls you ready for another challenge!
Julia: Yeah! Team Iqaluit is gonna win this!
Attica: Sorry but team Foraiy? Is going to win!
Flo: Yes Attica you said Foraiy right!
Attica: I did! Phew!
Olivia: Flo, now that i have fired you, i want to say i am sorry about what happened! I didnt want to, but sales are down!
Flo: Its fine.
Olivia: Anyway, where did you get that beanie you wear? So fetch!
Daisy: That is the girliest thing i have ever heard you say, finally someone besides me and Flo know what they are doing in the fashion department!
Attica: But she is right, where did you get that beanie! Its really cute!
Lacey: True! Its great!
Julia: Flo, but why do you always wear than beanie!
Flo: Cause i uh-
Yasmine: Come on, how embarrassing could it be! Or can we not trust you! (smiles evily)
Flo: You little- ALRIGHT! STUPID COCKROACH GOT TOO ANNOYING AND I SHAVED MY HEAD!
All other girls: WHAT!
Olivia: Well, to get some of the spotlight of you Flo, i have a crush on Richard!
All other girls: WHAT!
Julia: To get some of the spotlight of you two, i still like Brett.
All other girls: WHAT!
Olivia: What is this share fest! Whatever, i told you my secret.
Flo: Me, Olivia and Julia were brave enough to say our secrets, and before you leave this competition, me, Olivia and Julia must all know your biggest secret!
Olivia: Or else, we will torture you as soon as we get out!
All the girls: Deal!
Brian: Uh, Undulen, are you ready for the challeng-
Undulen: (badly singing) Shut up! UNDULEN ORDERS YOU TO SHUT UP!
Brian: Undulen, stop singing!
Undulen: NEVER! GRR!
Brian: Go to battle with your captain, i dare you!
Undulen: Look Boring Brian, i know what i am in this game!
Brian: A faliure!
Undulen: Watch your mouth or i might get some muzzles!
Brian: Huh, you expect there to be muzzles in a school!
Undulen: Ill get sticky tape!
Brian: Uh yeah we do have sticky tape! But if i dont know where it is, then how would you know?
Undulen: Because, i actually have the time to find it! You are annoying, you know that!
Brian: I have no idea why im talking with you over others,
Chris(on school communication system) Peeps! Its time for your first challenge as a team!
Chris: Some of you might be complaining about the "lack of facilities" we have!
Olivia: That is the biggest understatement I've ever heard.
Chris: Well, anyway, your first challenge is to build something! There are 3 things we are missing in this show, and they are, a mess hall to give and make you and me food! Cabins for you people to sleep in, and also a confessional, one team gets selected to do one! Anyway, The Winning Team, you have to make the mess hall!
Londoya: Can't we use the kitchen!
Chris: No! Anyway, Team Foraiy! You get to make the cabins, and a note, there is three cabins for the three teams, each separated into two for each gender! And Team Iqaluit, you get to make the confessional!
Daisy: But Chris- aint these challenges supposed to be real lated to life thinges!
Chris: Aww! Thanks for reminding me Daisy, so! For the floor and walls, and ceiling! You can only use, lego and kiddicraft bricks!
Julia: Thanks Daisy! Now we have to build with children toys!
Chris: Great isn't it! And i need to have a dat- i mean have a meeting with Ms Gonzalez! So ill be there! Also, the last team to build something that looks functionable
Richard: Not a word.
Chris: Is going to elimination, and straight after the challenge, just for today, no one is allowed to talk to anyone! GO!
Nmet: Um, do any of you know how to build a building about 300 metre cubed?
Londoya: Wow! Insulted! I build things like this all the time at my home! So this is strict! Wyatt and Steph, you both are pretty logical! You try and think of a way to get some kitchen appliances from the canteen!
Nmet: No pressure!
Londoya: Brett, Mnet, Nmet, you start building, i need to get more bricks from the truck! And only use the legos for the walls and ceiling! No one wants to step on a lego, even if we are wearing shoes!
Brett: Good point! Lets get going! Nmet! Pass me a brick!
Nmet: Sure here you go,
Mnet: Hmm im kinda thirsty!
Nmet: Focus girl! FOCUS!
Mnet: Right, right. Heh, sorry!
Londoya: I am going now to get the bricks, see ya! (walks away)
Wyatt: Yeah we should go find the canteen now as well, later!
Steph: Bye! (they walk away) If we lose, vote Londoya. Ok. Split up so we cover more ground! Good luck!
Flo: This is the plan, we all work on one cabin. Richard, Olivia, i am trusting you to make our cabin, make it good!
Richard: Oh, uh great!
Olivia: Sure thing!
Flo: I will work with Isaac, and Attica, you go with Yucksmine.
Yasmine: (sniff) Why are you being so rude!
Flo: Oh, brother. (facepalm)
Richard: Im gonna get some pens and paper to plan it.
Olivia: Ok, bye! From where?
Richard: Maths room probably!
Olivia: (blushes) Bye! (Richard walks away and Paul comes by)
Paul: Hi Olivia,
Olivia: Oh, hi Paul, what do you want!
Paul: Nothing really, i want to give you something! (gives them 50 bricks)
Olivia: Paul, wow! Uh thanks!
Paul: Anytime, (blushes) Byezers!
Olivia: Heh, bye!
Brian: Paul? Where did you go!
Brian: You really dont know how to lie!
Undulen: Coming from you!
Brian: (Pushes Undulen inside a hole)
Daisy: (gasp) Wow! Man of ma dreamies!
Julia: Come on guys! We have a simple on! Dont fail this!
Daisy: Whatever, lets get going!
Lacey: We really should!
Brian: Me and Lacey will go find some camera and stuff, the rest of you, build doors and the walls.
Lacey: Really, thats great! Maybe we can steal it from Chris or something!
Undulen: (Muffled) Whatever you do! Do it quick! AND GET ME OUT!
Brian: Should we let him out?
Whole team but Undulen: Hahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahah! Woo! Hahahaha! (giggle)
Nmet: Alright! The outside is done! Londoya you saved us!
Brett: Yeah great idea dude!
Londoya: Thanks! But we still need to do the inside of it (walks inside the sliding door Londoya made)
Nmet: Wyatt, Steph? When did you get here?
Wyatt: Couple minutes ago, you were all on the ceiling!
Steph: We managed to get the oven and stove working, as well as 3 tables, each seating 6 people.
Brett: Wow thats great! We could actually win this!
Wyatt: We aren't finished! So yeah we need to do our bit, we are all part of the team guys!
Nmet: Hes right we can leave them alone!
Londoya: But if you need any help just ask us, ok!
Mnet: You better not need help, i wanna rest after all that!
Nmet: MNET! Rude!
Mnet: What i was joking!
Flo: Ok! I have finished my cabin, time to see, the rest of yours! (walks to Richard and Olivia)
Olivia: We just finished ours!
Richard: Yeah, its not that good!
Olivia: No, its awesome, he planned amazingly!
Richard: You helped amazingly!
Flo: BARF! I get it! You did well! All i needed to hear!
Flo: YASMINE! ATTICA! This is barely done!
Yasmine: (Sniff) I know! We could only do (sniff) two walls and the ceiling!
Flo: Really impressive!
Flo: I- i dont believe this! Were gonna lose! Oh no! Did you do the inside?
Yasmine: Uhh, sorta!
Flo: ALL THERE IS, IS ONE BED! UGH!
Attica: Sorry Flo!
Isaac: Hey Flo can i-
Isaac: Why is everyone so mean today! Yeesh!
Brian: We got the camera!
Julia: Great! This looks cool!
Lacey: Just like your building! Its great! Wow! Perfection!
Brian: Anyway, lets put this thing in and test it! (goes inside confessional) HAI! UNDULEN IS ANNOYING!
Undulen: (sinking in sand that Daisy put on him) Can still hear you!
Chris(on school communication system): Alright! Time is up! Show me your thinigies!
Londoya: Is this good?
Chris: Amazing! Ive seen the others, and i know whos won already!
Chris(on school communication system) Time is up! And i decided team Foraiy needs to go to elimination! And the winning team is, The Winning Team!
Wyatt: Woohoo Londoya you saved us!
Londoya: Wow, thanks Wyatt!
Chris(on school communication system): Team Foraiy, meet me at the school entrance, NOW!
Chris: So this is how it works, write the name of you you want of in our COMPLETE! Confessional and i reveal the votes, if you dont get a pen then you are out! Go vote!
Flo(CONF): Attica, Isaac, Yasmine, too many choices.
Attica(CONF): I dont want to go now! Not now! (gulp)
Yasmine(CONF): Im so sorry! Haha! NOT!
Richard(CONF): According to my calculations-
Olivia(CONF): He is so cute! Wait, oh yeah this is obvious after your little spill!
Isaac(CONF): So nervous dude,
Chris: People safe Olivia, Richard, Flo, Attica! Yasmine, Isaac, the last one safe is---
Yasmine: Oh sorry Isee!
Chris: Isaac, welcome to the drift of shame, isn't it beautiful, you're out!
Isaac: Can i at least- ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Chris(CONF): Lets see what happens next time on Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit!
Chapter 3: First Day of School, its not cool
I went on a holiday and i didn't have any connection. Sorry! So for the next 4 chapters, here is the timetable!
Chris: Hi! Hello! My name is Chronzalez and today i am hosting total drama cutie host- i mean uh Life of Iqaluit! Anyway, Paul and Olivia started to rekindle their friendship. Flo became the worlds biggest boss! Isaac, Attica and Yasmine all had some type of reason to leave me alone with Ms Gonzale- i mean go home! Also, Londoya showed more of that creative mind of his. Anyway, who will go home today?
Steph: (walks in) And who will get busted for having a crush with their co-host?
Chris: I can disqualify you for that!
Steph: I got plenty more coming, so watch out!
Chris: I HATE YOU! (Steph points at camera)
Flo: Team Foraiy failed yesterday! BUT NOT TODAY!
Attica: Grr, Flo, please, be quiet! You have been giving us positive speeches all night, and you didn't even care that i built the whole cabin for us.
Flo: Sorry, heh!
Yasmine: Aww! Don't be sorry! Just SHUT UP!
Flo: At least i did what i had to?
Yasmine: At least I didn't boss around the rest of my team!
Yasmine: Grr! (the two fight)
Attica: (rolls eyes) I'm going to have breakfast now, anything to get away from this! (walks into the mess hall)
Theodore: Hello, what can i serve for you!
Attica: Woah! The winning team did a great job! They even made menus for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and what is available at other times!
Theodore: That was sme, you youth troublers, always not giving anyone over 60 any credit!
Attica: Heh, uh sorry, ill have Sharwarma?
Ms Gonzalez: (walks in) Coming right up!
Theodore: Uh, why are you helping?
Ms Gonzalez: Cause i actually know how to cook Iqaluit style!
Theodore: Lets make a deal, i handle the non-Iqaluit food, you do the Iqaluit!
Ms Gonzalez: Sure! Oops, did i forget to mention the only non-Iqaluit foods in this place are the fruits sitting there, which the contestants can just grab themselves!
Theodore: UGH! I will, get my serving, even if it means i have to learn how to make caribou stew!
Ms Gonzalez: Good luck sir, were at war, and i am winning. Ciao! (walks off)
Attica: I never actually got my food? I'll just go then! (Walks off)
Theodore: All alone, as usual.
Attica: Why is everyone so, argumentative here!
Brian: (bumps into Attica) Oh sorry, i didn't mean to interrupt.
Attica: Oh its fine, but, why aren't you wearing a shirt? And anything under it?
Brian: Just went swimming.
Attica: Where can you swim, this whole place is frozen!
Brian: Uh, in the gymnasium there is a mini-hallway which leads to the pool, only people with the keys can get in.
Attica: So how did you get in?
Brian: I picked the lock.
Attica: Alright then! I best be off,
Brian: Wait! Before you go, can i ask you something?
Attica: Sure, i guess.
Brian: Will you be in an alliance with me, even though we are different teams?
Attica: Why not! You can only get me out if theres a team swap, or merge! Deal! (the two shake hands) Bye!
Undulen(CONF): Hehe, time to get my game on, stage one, get the newbs out! And the Attica-Brian thing is going to help!
Undulen: Aww, you and Attica are so cute together!
Brian: Uh what are you talking about!
Undulen: You and Attica? I can see a future of you two!
Brian: Can you please stop!
Undulen: Will you Brian, take Attica to be your lawfully wedded wife!
Brian: I do. WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!
Undulen: Never! You think thats bad, cause you've got plenty more coming!
Brian: Oh you mean my celebration dinner when you go home? Yeah, i wonder if i'll have bannock or char! (i probably spelled that wrong)
Undulen: You are going down.
Steph: Can you explain to me why you got the whole team picking rocks and flowers?
Londoya: No seriously, i need to get to the Mona Londoya now.
Brett: That can wait! Do you all have 5 rocks and 5 flowers!
Nmet: (tired) Yes, Brett, were not at The Grave digger, i know you nailed that show but why now!
Wyatt: Just can we get this done quickly?
Brett: Don't worry, and i hereby call this! (Takes over a white blanket on a graveyard) R.I.P Isaac! Episode 1-2!
Whole team but Brett: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahehehhehehohohohohohhihihihihuhuhu!
Brett: What is funny about this!
Mnet: You cant tell that making a graveyard for an eliminated contestant isn't pathetic?
Brett: Would you like it if Nmet went home?
Mnet: Well I would be sad, but i wouldn't waste my time and energy on that!
Wyatt: I liked Isaac, but this is the next level!
Steph: Brett, come on, Isaac is gone, so fight for him, don't act like he passed!
Brett: Wow, actually, what was i thinking! Thanks Steph.
Steph: No problemo. Hey, is that Julia over there?
Julia: (walks by and looks at graveyard) Uh, who made this R.I.P on Isaac's elimination?
Whole team: Brett!
Julia: Uh, ok Brett? Uh bye! (runs away)
Wyatt(CONF): He so still likes Julia.
Julia(CONF): Brett, a graveyard! I like him but uh, wow!
Brett(CONF): Now she thinks im some loser, great! Stupid Brett stupid!
Julia: Girls, i just saw the weirdest thing! Uh Paul, what are you doing here?
Paul: I was bored, so what else could i do!
Daisy: Yah. Leave.
Paul: Bye then!
Julia: So, remember when i told you i like Brett?
Lacey: Yes i do.
Julia: Well, he made a graveyard for Isaac? What should i do?
Attica: Just be natural, do you like him?
Julia: Yeah, but its fading after that moment!
Daisy: I don't know why i am helpin, make de fist move!
Julia: You think that could work?
Lacey: Sure, if you don't then things will only go downhill.
Julia: I'll only do this is you Daisy, promise to end our hatred, and both focus on Undulen!
Daisy: Uh fines then. Consider this hatred
Attica: Woohoo! (claps)
Julia: Attica, now you're just making it weird!
Olivia: Richard, thats great!
Richard: Haha, definitely not my finest hour!
Olivia: Uh Richard, do you like to date, i mean eat?
Richard: (blushes) What do you mean?
Olivia: Uh never mind. Yasmine is a strong player this season isn't she!
Richard: You think so, i don't notice that much of her!
Olivia: I guess, but she seems to have a better game than Clash of the Action.
Richard: Maybe, hey, whats that in your ear! When did you get earrings!
Olivia: You never noticed, oh, i wore some for the special.
Olivia(CONF): Ok, so maybe its a headset from Lacey telling me what to say? Can you blame me! The dude is cute, smart and fun!
Lacey(in headset): Ok, say this, i like your shirt, where did you get it?
Olivia: I like your shirt, where did you get it?
Richard: When i went on a trip to New York, i bought this.
Olivia: Oh wow!
Julia: Oh hi Lacey, what are you doing!
Lacey(in headset): None of your buisness!
Olivia: (to Richard): None of your buisness!
Richard: Uh ok!
Julia: I'll have to take that phone if you don't give it!
Lacey(in headset): NEVER! THIS IS MINE AND ONLY MINE!
Olivia(to Richard): NEVER! THIS IS MINE AND ONLY MINE!
Richard: If you didn't want to be with me, just say so! (walks away)
Olivia: Wait Richard!
Chris(on school communication system): Contestants, you know what time it is! Get down to the mess hall now!
Olivia: (Sigh) Never mind.
Chris: Todays challenge is a game of the playground! You are playing hide and seek with your friends! Theodore and Ms Gonzalez will try to hunt you down, when they find you, you get a stamp, last team to get 3 stamps wins, first team to get three stamps loses! Also, you will not know how many stamps your team has, i wont tell you! So don't bother! You have 15 minutes, to run, hide, and find a stamp de-activater! Go!
Undulen: Woohoo! I could hide in this tree!
Brian: Not so fast! I wont let you!
Undulen: Well, you got yourself into the battle, against a pro.
Brian: Pro at what, getting an F- in Music?
Undulen: You crossed the line! (stares at him)
Brian: OH! Two can play that game! (stares at him.)
Undulen: (stares at him even more)
Brian: (stares at him even more)
Wyatt: (slaps them both) What is wrong with you! (climbs tree)
Undulen: Can i climb with you (branch falls on his head)
Theodore: Stamped both of you! Haha!
Undulen: See, that annoying guy at the top of the tree, tag him?
Theodore: Nahh! Too hard! I was born in 1854!
Brian: 164 years ago, very true.
Theodore: Don't believe me! (stamps him)
Brian: Oww! You already tagged me! What was that for?
Yasmine: (in a bush) Is that Ms Gonzalez? Oh its just Richard, (jumps out of bush) Hi there Rich!
Richard: Its Richard. Does everyone have to say my name wrong?
Yasmine: Sorry, heh. I have a proposition to give to you.
Richard: Make it considerably fast in the ways of time.
Yasmine: Have an alliance with me, and i wont get you out.
Richard: Ha! Very funny, you have only competed in 6 episodes combining season 1 and 3!
Yasmine: Grr, try me, Richard try me. I am improving!
Richard: Seriously, i don't want my sides to split from laughter. The only person you can get out is Paul or something!
Yasmine: Fine then, good luck! (jumps in bush)
Richard: Well i guess ill leav- (Ms Gonzalez comes)
Ms Gonzalez: (stamps him) HA! Gotcha! If you excuse me hombre, i have more losers to catch. (leaves)
Yasmine: (gets out of bush) So, do you want to be blackmailed or do you actually want to team?
Richard: (sigh) Fine. Just go save yourself now!
Yasmine: Will do! (runs away)
Brett: Woah, this place looks epic! I could hide in here!
Flo: Or maybe you wont! I will hide here!
Brett: But i found it first-
Flo: You sound like a 5 year old saying that! Sorry but i am going in!
Julia(comes in): Or maybe i will! (sees Brett and turns away)
Brett: Uh, Julia, can you pleas- (sigh) Never mind.
Julia(CONF): I feel so bad! Ugh!
Julia: Brett, im sorry about the way i treated you. I didn't mean it, but a graveyard? What do you expect me to react like?
Brett: I guess, it was a bit weird well, yeah im sorry!
Paul: (walks in) Hey, do you have popcorn, watching you two is like a sponge opera!
Flo: Soap opera...
(Theodore comes in and tagges all four of them)
Brett: Oh great.
Julia: I just gotta hope i was the first one stamped.
Brett: Julia, so, to confirm, are we back on again!
Julia: WHEN DID I EVER SAY THAT! LISTEN FOR ONCE AND DONT JUST JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS!
Wyatt: Woah what happened he- (gets stamped by Ms Gonzalez) Great!
Chris(on school communication system) The results are in, first place goes to, Team Foraiy! Second place to, The Winning Team which means Team Iqaluit, you are going to elimination. Sorry!
Julia(CONF): Great, i could be going home tonight.
Undulen(CONF): At least i will guarantee myself tonight, but who to pick! Anyone is fine, but i will need a minion.
Undulen: Hi Paul!
Undulen: Can you do me a favour?
Paul: If its to clean your throat so you can sing better, im not internation- i mean interested.
Undulen: EXCUSE ME! Anyway, i need you to convince everyone to vote _____ tonight! OK! We clear?
Paul: Why don't you do it.
Undulen: I would but everyone hates me- do it well! Good luck!
Undulen(CONF): One less loser off my million dollars, perfect.
Paul(CONF): I'm not doing it. Never, time to show that i can pay- i mean play the game!
Julia: I hope we don't need to actually talk about this.
Lacey: Just vote him, ok!
Chris: It is time to vote, go into the conf and decide!
Undulen(CONF): Can't wait to see the look on your faces.
Paul(CONF): (looks at pen) Ooh! This pen is cool! (plays with it and ink runs out)
Chris: The people safe are Brian, Lacey, Paul and Daisy!
Lacey/Brian/Daisy: Woohoo! ( hi 5 each other)
Paul: Yay! (tries to hi five daisy but misses)
Chris: Undulen, Julia, one of you is about to go home via the Drift of Shame, that person is in a 5-1 vote
Daisy: Thats right, i am with Julia now so back off ma girl and leave this Iqaluit school!
Undulen: How is this possible! Paul told all of you to vote Julia!
Paul: Maybe i didn't.
Undulen: YOU! YOU BACKSTABBER!
Julia: Exactly what you did to Wyatt last season, so please shut up or you won't leave here in one piece.
Chris: Welcome to the drift of shame!
Undulen: Whatever, ill just swim back here,
Chris: Do you know how cold that water is? See ya!
Undulen: But how do i leave,
Chris: (pushes button)
Undulen: GAH! (floats away much faster)
Chris: Haha! Anyway lets see what happens next time, on Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit!
Chapter 4: 20 questions, 16 people.
Chris: Last time, Flo and Yasmines hatred blew again, Attica getting sick of it went to have breakfast only to see a fight between the 2 co-hosts, i have to speak to them about that. Brian and Attica teamed up, and Undulen saw who wanted to bust Brian to get him out. Brett made a grave yard for his "bro" and Julia saw it! Bad move man, in the challenge, Yasmine and Richard made an alliance and things with Brett and Julia are seemingly worse after a Julia outburst! Paul seemed villainous betraying Undulen's word and helping in getting him out! 2 our out, who will win this time on Total! Drama! Life of Iqaluit!
Attica(CONF): Yesterday Brian asked for an alliance with me but i don't know what to do? So what did i do, i went to my boyfriend!
Attica: Steph! Hey!
Steph: Hey back. (kisses her)
Attica: (blushes) Thanks, but i need to tell you something.
Steph: What swwetie pie?
Attica: Brian asked me into an alliance but i'm not so sure about it. What do i do?
Steph: I have no clue, but im in a bit of trouble myself!
Attica: Really, whats the problem? Is it your shirt, its so dirty!
Steph: It has one stain from the small crack in my cabin, so whatever weather is outside, wind blowing leaves, rain, even snow! It falls on me.
Attica: Thats horrible!
Steph: Uh, lets stay on track here. Brett is becoming a really shady character. Do i ditch him?
Attica: No, if he is shady which i doubt, then he'd get you out, he has Nmet from his travelling days and Wyatt of his alliance, and also Mnet will obviously follow Nmet to see what to do.
Steph: Good point. I am going to have breakfast, bye!
Attica(CONF): Its great to have Steph on my side, after a 3rd place finish. I just hope Brett doesn't touch Steph! That stain is so bad!
Lacey: (opens cabin door too see Daisy and Julia with tons of foundation, conditioner and mascara next to them) Hi guys, what are you doing!
Daisy: Turnin this girl into a master piece!
Julia: I just managed to get my trust in you Daisy, Don't make me lose it!
Daisy: Julies, llook at meh! Does it look like i know what im doing!
Julia: Just get it done with.
Lacey: Yeah but why are you fixing yourself up!
Julia: Lets take a spelling class! B-R-
Lacey: Oh, Brett.
Julia: Yes, i am so nervous!
Lacey: Wanna hear a joke to get the mood going!
Julia: Anything that gets me off the fact that Daisy has pulled half my hair off!
Daisy: You have no idea how great this is gonna be!
Julia: I will put your word on that.
Lacey: Can i see though!
Julia(turns around): How bad is it!
Lacey(CONF): I was itching to say BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD! But, it could be hilarious for me. Oh wow, i am so rude! And also Daisy will kill me if i say its bad.
Lacey: Great! 10/10!
Lacey: Time for the joke! What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only food that can make them cry? Throw a coconut at their face.
Daisy: HAHA! (drops her mascara stick and it falls all over Julia's face) Oops.
Julia: Daisy, what have you done,
Daisy: Hehe, its so good i got knocked out! Show Lacey!
Julia(shows Lacey): Thats great! Let me get you a mirror!
Lacey(CONF): (pukes), i never have seen, anything that ugly before!
Lacey: Here's the mirror!
Julia: WHAT! EWW! THIS IS GROSS!
Julia(CONF): I look ridic
lous! Daisy looks better than this, the mascara, i can feel it on my mouth! DAISY!
Brett: Dude, do i look good. Is this ugly?
Brian: No! That jacket looks great!
Richard: Same to the hair!
Brian: She will fall head over heels in love with you!
Brett: Thanks guys! I'll just put on a bit of perfume and then ill go then! (the perfume bottle opens up and the liquid goes on Brett's jakcet) Oh great!
Richard: Ooh, tough luck my friend. Well at least your hairstyle is still great! (somehow a pigeon flies in and does its business on Bretts hair) Me and my bigmouth.
Brett: Thanks a lot Richard, now ive gotta change!
Richard: Im sorry! Here, use my spare shirt!
Brett: That thing could never fit me. (birdpoo falls off his hair and onto the jacket and behind it too on the shirt.) Ok fine i'll wear it!
Brian: You look absolutely like you can't breath.
Brett: So it- (gasps for breath) Looks like that too! Great! I am going to die in this thing!
Richard: Run it off then!!!
Brett: Not so easy to run whey you can barely move your body! This thing cuts my circulation off!
Richard: Heh, sorry!
(Mnet, Nmet, Wyatt and Londoya are sitting at a table in the mess hall)
Wyatt: Still can't believe how great this thing is! You impressed me Londoya!
Mnet: Guys, i called you here for something.
Mnet: Ok, Nmet brought you here for something.
Nmet: I'm concerned for Brett. He seems, i don't really know, distracted?
Londoya: Very true, remember the graveyard? Even if all my paintings broke, i wouldn't make them a graveyard!
Mnet: Great reference, but whatever, what do we do?
Nmet: I say vote him out, im sorry, but this is for the best, for him and the team!
Wyatt: I guess so...
Mnet: Besides, would you want a boy who just made merge twice?
Londoya: I don't think so...
Nmet: Good! So, throw the challenge, were gonna lose this one!
Wyatt: Ok? I guess?
Mnet: Nice to know, later skaters! (Nmet and Mnet walk out)
Wyatt(CONF): Sabotage, greatest way to get someone out, also the greatest way to put a target on your back. I could agree about what they said, but i don't like to back-stab people! Oh no!
Londoya(CONF): Heh- this will be a weird day.
Wyatt: I don't agree about this Londoya, want to vote them out instead!
Londoya: Alright then...
Wyatt: You know what, lets have an alliance!
Londoya: Woah, wow, sure right! Uh that came out wrong.
Wyatt: Yeah i can tell- well ill just go get ready for the challenge, see ya!
Londoya: Uh ok! Bye-zers!
Wyatt: You can stop with the weird phrases now. (walks away)
Wyatt(CONF): Well, i have everyone on the team, even though i kinda am planning to vote one of my members out. But i hope this works! If it does i might just get to merge!
Londoya(CONF): I just got myself in an alliance with the coolest person ever! Wyatt has this sort of magnet on him which makes him easy to talk to! Oh boy, this will make things awkward.
Flo: AND YOU WILL NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT ME GOING BALD!
Yasmine: And you WILL NEVER ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE A HORRIBLE HUMAN!
Flo: I GOT MYSELF ELIMINATED LAST SEASON! SHUT UP!
Yasmine: Ugh! YOU ONLY EVER LOOK AT THE GOOD THINGS YOU DO!
Flo: COMING FROM THE HYPOCRITE OVER HERE!
Flo: Grr... (the two start fighting)
Olivia: Woah, these two are uncontrollable! What are we going to do!
Paul: I don't have an cue! I mean clue.
Olivia: Oh yeah, your language problems- have you been able to work on those?
Paul: (Shakes head) But i worked for you, you sould i mean should know about thas- i mean this!
Olivia: You do cooking, so its not like you have to talk much, and you're lucky i didn't fire you after putting laxatives in the president of Italy's meal. He cursed that the restaurant would go in flames!
Paul: In that chase i mean case, let me make it up to poo i mean you. Flo! Free beanies just over there!
Flo: Wait, where! WHERE! (runs away)
Yasmine: Ha! Guess i win the war!
Olivia: How did YOU do that!
Paul: Grew up in a bickering family.
Chris(on school communication system): Its challenge time! Meet me at the math's room now students!
Chris: Today you will go to the school trivia night of middle school, that tween age when you start getting pimples everywhere! Yeah, anyway! There are 20 questions, and they are based on the past two seasons, when i ask the question, if you know the answer, press on the buzzers immediately! After i ask all the 20 questions the team with the most points comes in first, and you know what happens then.
Julia: What if there's a tie?
Chris: We do a tiebraker question. YIKES! What happened to your hair!
Julia: Daisy, happened to it.
Chris: Alright, take a seat and wait till i say the first question!
Attica: Were gonna win this one guys! Team Foraiy all the way!
Daisy: To Team Iqaluit! Wes gonza win this game!
Nmet: Good luck, we have two of the nerds of the game on our team, Wyatt and Brett!
Chris: Save the insults for elimination. But first question! Who kicked off Eric to win the first challenge of this game?
Julia: That would be me.
Chris: Correct! One point for team Iqaluit! Next question! Who was the third to get out in Season 1 and why!
Nmet: That was Mnet and because everyone thought she was me.
Nmet(CONF): I know its Steph, i just need to throw this so Brett can go!
Wyatt: Steph because he almost killed himself and was too negative.
Wyatt(CONF): Hmm, try and sabotage now!
Chris: What was the broadcasting episode/chapter name of the episode where Daisy got out!
Brian: I watched season 1! Pretty sure its "The hunted and the hunted"
Chris: Correct! Thats 2 for Team Iqaluit while Team Foraiy doesn't even have one point! Next question! What was the 7th challenge of the season!
Brett: Wasn't it the one where we had to stop an explosive from blowing! DAISY!
Chris: That was the 7th episode not the 7th challenge!
Flo: Wasn't it the running race?
Chris: Correct! We are one quarter through. Who was the last pre-merger of Clash of the Action?
(Paul buzzes in)
Paul: Think its Londeye i mean Londoya.
Chris: Correct! Team Foraiy is catching up! What was the first post-merge challenge of Clash of the Action!
(Julia buzzes in)
Julia: The gross date thing. We went on a "date" with another competitor and we judged their dating skills!
Chris: Yes! Next question..
Nmet(CONF): Good we're falling behind.
Chris: Who got out in the double elimination in season 1!
Londoya: It was Brett and Richard.
Chris: Correct! Who were the final 4 of season 1!
Wyatt: Me, Flo, Julia and Eric.
Chris: Correct! Name a line of the song "The Finals Hall" sang by Wyatt, Julia and Flo!
Steph: I think, on is "say one more word and im gonna kick you out the finals hall!
Chris: Very true, that is a line! The winning Team has taken the lead!
Olivia: Wyatt barely won because he held onto the platform instead of falling off!
Lacey: Steph and Undulen won the team picking challenge!
Daisy: Attica quit after the whole mess with Steph!
Yasmine: The three first guests of the aftermath were Eric, Attica and Nmet!
Wyatt: Julia got out in a 3-2 vote when the antagonist alliance voted for her!
Richard: Flo had left her headband in the rocket and the rocket fell while she was inside!
Chris: Wow! You are all up to 5! Lets continue, what was the name of the second aftermath in The Clash Returns!
Julia: Pretty sure its called "Breaking the 4 Walls"
Chris: Correct! Team Iqaluit with a 1 point lead with 4 more questions! Who won immunity in the first merge challenge?
Flo: Me, but i decided to get myself out so...
Chris: Enough info, but correct! Next question! What were the 5 acts performed in the animal buddy challenge?
Brian: Olivia told a story with the Labrador dog, Brett made his pronghorn do athletic activities, Daisy failed to get his squirrel to not listen to her, Steph made his duck run away from the spotlight representing positivity and Undulens parrot told all of Undulen's embarrassing stories!
Chris: Correct! Team Iqaluit, you are guaranteed to not lose tonight! But you can still come second!
Team Iqaluit: Woohoo!
Chris: Alright, what did Undulen do to try and get votes for the million dollars!
Paul: He acted nice so people would vote him!
Chris: Correct and Team Iqaluit, you have won the challenge! Time for the last question, say the entire elimination order of both season 1 and 2!
Daisy: Here it goes! Season 1: Hannah, Yasmine, Steph, Mnet, Daisy, Undulen, Paul, Isaac, Londoya, Brett and Richard, Olivia-
Chris: WRONG! You said Brett and Richard before Olivia!
Brett: Ooh! I know! Hannah, Yasmine, Steph, Mnet, Daisy, Undulen, Paul, Isaac, Londoya, Olivia, Me and Richard, Attica, Nmet, Eric, Flo, Julia and Wyatt. Season 2: Eric, Attica, Nmet, Richard, Julia, Hannah, Wyatt, Flo, Isaac, Me and Daisy, Steph, Undulen and Olivia!
Chris: That is correct, but you did one thing wrong!
The Winning Team: WHAT!
Chris: You didn't buzz in!
Brett: Wearing these stupid tight shirts gets me off track!
Olivia: Season 1: Hannah, Yasmine, Steph, Mnet, Daisy, Undulen, Paul, Isaac, Londoya, me, Brett and Richard, Attica, Nmet, Eric, Flo, Julia and Wyatt. Season 2: Eric, Attica, Nmet, Richard, Julia, Hannah, Wyatt, Flo, Isaac, Brett and Daisy, Steph, Undulen and me!
Chris: Correct to save yourself from elimination! But the so called Winning Team, you need to meet me at elimination now!
Chris: Well, not your best performance, and that will lead you to elimination! Time to vote!
Steph: Is that Julia in the bush!
Julia(CONF): I can't let Brett go home! I just can't! And not without me saying goodbye!
Chris: Go vote!
Nmet(CONF): Bye Brett, im sorry about this.
Mnet(CONF): Like i have a choice now.
Londoya(CONF): What Wyatt says, Wyatt gets!
Steph(CONF): Eh, who else do i vote!
Brett(CONF): The sooner i get out of this top, the better!
Wyatt(CONF): Thats what you get for trying to get out a friend of mine!
Chris: Ooh! 3-2-1 vote! Spicy! Anyway the people safe are Steph! Wyatt! Londoya!
Chris: Mnet, you got the one vote but you are safe!
Chris: The last person safe is
Brett: Woah, i voted for myself! I thought i was the 1 vote- guess not! See y-
Julia(comes in): Wait! Before you leave, i've got to tell you something, i (still) like you, and i was just really sad when everything happened last season and everything is totally my fault! But will you give me another chance?
Brett: Of course! Bye then! (kisses her)
Steph: Bye Brett.
Chris: Ok! Lets get this over with!
Chris: You are the 3rd victim of this thing, now, float to your freedom!
Brett: Julia, Steph, Wyatt, Nmet! Rule the game! Bye! (drifts away)
Chris: Will Julia cry for ages, will Yasmine and Flo fight more? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Life of Iqaluit!
Chapter 5: Unlucky number 13
Theodore: Last time on Total Drama, Attica and Steph met up, both Julia and Brett became, eh what do ya scum call it. A fashion fox pass? Whatever Wyatt and Londoya agreed to vote Nmet out after saying she will sabotage the challenge. Also, Paul stopped a fight with Yasmine and Flo! In the challenge, Wyatt tried to stop their team from losing but failed. And Bretty boy went home, but not before Julies commited her feelings! Who will get out next, when will Chris come back ta do his job? Never!
Wyatt: Woah, why are you in such a rush!
Londoya: To talk to you!
Wyatt: And that couldn't have waited another half hour?
Londoya: There's a lot to say.
Wyatt: Alright, alright. What do you want?
Londoya: Firstly, is the alliance we formed yesterday just until Nmet goes or is it forever.
Wyatt: I never thought of that, i guess it' can!
Londoya: Eek! Yes, yes yes! And also, are we friends,
Londoya: Woohoo! Thank you thank you! I will have breakfast as celebration!
Wyatt(CONF): Woah, that Londoya seems excited. Well, good for him, i guess...
Brian: I'll have the tabbouleh please Ms. Gonzalez!
Ms Gonzalez: Coming right up! Theodore, you don't get paid to sit there doing nothing. (walks and makes food)
Theodore: Oh brother, i need to take a break.
Ms Gonzalez: We aren't allowed breaks.
Theodore: Please, you'll be fine on your own!
Theodore: Steph-o. I need your help. Ms Gonzalez is taking over the mess hall and since it is Iqaluit food, i can't compete!
Steph: We'll, i found out a few days ago that Chris likes her-
Theodore: So thats why she gets to choose her shifts, gets twice as much pay and gets to annoy me without getting fired.
Steph: Yep, so i'm thinking, we can set them up on a date, and ruin everything they have while they get a horrible date!
Theodore: Kiddo, you are smart.
Steph: Thanks, but now i've gotta meet my gf somewhere.
Steph: Uh, girlfriend.
Theodore: Well, when you're born in 1950 what do you expect!
Steph: You're 68. Thats not that old.
Theodore: Kiddo, did i say 1950? That was the day my great grandson was born!
Steph: Wait-what! I'm gonna go now, bye!
Theodore: Hmm, getting her with good ol' Chriso!
Brian: Mm, this tastes so good! Ms Gonzalez, you're a great cook!
Ms Gonzalez: I know, but if you see Theodumb, can you tell him that he has 5964 plates to wash with his name on it, thanks!
Brian: Uh, alright?
Paul: (walks in mess hall) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Brian: WHAT? Why are you crying?
Paul: We'll you see
(this is something that happened to Paul earlier)
Richard: Olivia, hates that shade of orange, need to make sure these cards are exactly what she wants, as well as these flowers.
Paul: Hi Richard, i need a flower cause i want honey soooooooo bad!
Richard: Uh, flowers don't give you honey?
Paul: DUH! I will get my pet bee #PaulxOlivia Forever to do whatever bees do to flowers!
Richard: Hang on, whats that bees name again?
Richard: No, the BEES name.
Paul: Oh shes queen bee.
Richard(CONF): How hard is this....
Richard: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL THE BEE!
Paul: #PaulxOlivia Forever!
Richard: Well sorry, unless you change the name, then good luck!
Paul: OK! ILL CHANGE IT TOO PAUL IS THE BEST THING EVER! How bout dat.
Olivia(walks by): Wow, Paul, so vain.
Richard: Here, i got you flowers for you cough.
Olivia: Aww that is so sweet! (Richard and Olivia walk away, holding hands)
Paul: I like OLIVIA! THATS WHY!
Brian: Oh, really?
Brian: Ok, form an alliance with me and ill help you! Deal?
Paul: DEEAL! WAAAAAAAAAH! DOES ANYTHING HERE FIX A BROKEN HEART!
Brian: Have you tried the ice cream.
Brian(CONF): I am totally not being stereotypical and judgmental. But on every tv show ive seen when somebody is upset about a break-up they have ice cream! Why did that rhyme.
Yasmine(CONF): So Brian and Paul are in an alliance and theres a love triangle! Man this is the best season ever!
Julia: Yes and i'd like an extra hair dye!
Daisy: Ok gurl! Im sorry! If i knew how had that actually looked, then i would have ran for the hills!
Julia: YOU SAW HOW I LOOKED! Besides, someone's gotta get me ice cream after Brett leaving.
Brian(CONF): Told you! Everyone has ice-cream after a break up!
Daisy: Yes, i'll get that all, but is there anything else besides getting you three new brands of nail polish, basically the whole contestant fridge and 3 outfits of clothing from Ms Gonzalez?
Julia: Talking about me with sass! That’s a strike!
Lacey: Strike! Boy, so now she works for you?
Julia: Yeah, she does, and also i’d like 2 medium tall soy milk latte extra hot, extra foam.
Daisy: They don’t serve coffee in the mess hall! Let alone a medium tall soy milk latte extra hot, extra foam.
Julia: Well go into town and buy it!
Lacey: I second that, what?
Julia: Just do it before the challenge starts.
Daisy: No way!
Julia: Oh you don’t know what i have planned if you get 3 strikes, besides, did you see how bad I looked! Now move sister! (Daisy leaves)
Lacey: Don’t you think you went too far?
Julia: Yes, I know I shouldn’t but you see I am very passionate with my revenge.
Lacey: You think I don’t know that! I watched both seasons and competed with you in 4 episodes.
Julia: Well, sorr, but she is a huge factor In my downfall last season so legitimately ill do hers.
Lacey(CONF): I tried.
Chris: Today you are your age! It’s teenage day. You are 16, and two things that happen when you are 16! You get a job and a Learners permit. So that’s what this challenge is based on! See those go karts over there? Drive them, around the town and youll know which way to go. And then, come back here and give me someone’s resume, get It from whoever just give me a resume, first team wins IMMUNITY! Next time meaning they don’t play, and the losing team votes out a member!
Lacey: ?Uh Chris?
Lacey: Our team member Daisy is missing.
Chris: WHAT! OK new challenge! Find Daisy! Whoever finds her gets to decide who is going home tonight!
Chris: Yes! Now GO!
(Daisy is in Apex, Nunavut, a nearby city to Iqaluit)
Daisy: Where am i?
Mary Sue: Girl you are in Apex!
Daisy: Better explanation please?
Mary Sue: IN A NEARBY CITY TO IQALUIT!
Daisy: Shut up girl! I dont live here, im just in a competition at a school nearby.... i hope.
Mary Sue: Wait, are you in Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit?
Mary Sue: Oh i know the way back!
Daisy: Yous better tell meh gurl or else ill-
Mary Sue: Don't worry, ill get you there, but it will come at a certain price.
Mary Sue: You better go that that street over there and buy me a coffee!
Daisy: Ugh fine.
Brian(behind a bush): She has to go to that street and get a what?
Brian(CONF): Great news, i found Daisy! Bad news, i think im about to lose her, and worse news, Mary Sue my biology classmate is here!
Lacey: Julia, i told you it was a bad idea to let her get coffee for you.
Julia: You could have went with her and directed her.
Lacey: You should have said that then! Not now!
Julia: Well im sorry! Now lets keep looking!
Lacey: Ok, does losing your boyfriend make you a diva because it sure looks like it!
Julia: Excuse me!(slaps Lacey)
Lacey: Oh you did not go there! (Slaps Julia)
Julia: Ugh! Ok, i will not sink to that level! I have to find Daisy!
Lacey: Fine, we can argue later. But you go this way, i go this way!
Julia: OK! (they go in opposite direction)
Wyatt(CONF): My strategy for this challenge is to think of where Daisy would spend her time at, shopping, eating, sleeping, shutting people up, and i found a street sign saying "Northmart" so i guess thats like Walmart so i guess im going the right way?
Wyatt: Alright, have you seen a teenage girl in family designed clothing, black hair with a blonde strip?
Boss: No. Hey, you look very familiar?
Wyatt: Wait, dad? Is that you? What are you doing in Iqaluit?
Boss: I started a business here, do you want to be my sponsor? Winning a million dollars is all the rage these days.
Wyatt: Uh, ok then. But seriously, what am i gonna do now? Quit?
Wyatts Dad: Wait, you're still competing in that Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit thingie!
Wyatts Dad: I thought it was finished now!
Wyatt: Yeah it isn't and i have a challenge, thats why i asked you about where that girl is.
Wyatts Dad: Wait, you cant go roaming around this place on your own!
Wyatt: Why? Im 16 and i am sort of used to this place.
Wyatts Dad: Well, your mum has been missing for 2 weeks now.
Wyatts Dad: Yes! We don't know what happened to her, but if you see her, tell me.
Wyatt: Oh, (sniff) well um ok. I have to uh.. go and do this challenge, bye dad. (walks away)
Wyatt(CONF): Um, (sniff) this is so bad! My mother is the reason why i am now a millionaire, why i dont stutter! She took me to this show so i met people, Steph, Isaac, Brett, Londoya, Julia, Attica, Olivia, Eric even Hannah and Flo taught me something! She is the reason(sniff) why all this happened!
Steph: Ugh! Where am i!(sees Wyatt crying) Huh? Wyatt whats wrong?
Wyatt: My dad now has a job here, and he just told me that my mum has gone missing! In Iqaluit! In WINTER!
(Yes, for people in the northern hemisphere, it is summer as i write this, just go along with it.)
Steph: Oh no!
Wyatt: Exactly, i think ill quit to help my dad find her.
Steph: Oh NO! You will never quit! NEVER! Do not let this take you out!
Wyatt: How would you feel if your mother just went missing!
Steph: Duh, i wouldnt be happy but still no reason to quit! Im not the one to give speeches, especially in a positive meaning, but i will! If your mum went missing, then win the million and use it on finding her! No, quit if ya want. But brother from another mother-
Wyatt: Not the best time to say that.
Steph: Shut up, my point is, don't quit for your mum, win for your mum.
Wyatt: Woah, is it bad that actually makes sense! Coming from you! Since when have you been this positive!
Steph: Um, never. Bye!
Daisy: Where am i?
Car Dealer: At Driving Force! A car dealer place nearby Iqaluit, would you like a Mazda 3?
Daisy: No, but id like directions back to Iqaluit high school?
Car Dealer: Sorry, i wouldn't know, but i can rent you this car, if you win the 2 million dollars!
Daisy: Hang on, how do you know about that!
Car Dealer: Whatever, now, take it or leave it.
Daisy: My license isn't with me though!
Car Dealer: This is Iqaluit! No one ever gets caught for doing stuff!
Daisy: Even if i did have my license with me, i only just got my P's before we started the competition and i havent had much practice!
Car Dealer: Again, this is Iqaluit, there is 8,000 people here. Youll never get caught!
Daisy: Fine, ill take it, but if this perfection dies, I get someone to sue you!
Car Dealer: Fine, just go before i wet my pants.
Daisy: You already did.
Flo: Daisy! Daisy! Where are you!
Yasmine: Somewhere in the world, but not with you.
Flo: Not in the mood for you sass Yawns-mine.
Yasmine: Eh shut up!
Flo: Me shut up! ME! How bout you!
Yasmine: Whatever, i got the team wrapped around my little finger, you are so going home next!
Flo: I wont because i am going to find her!
Yasmine: Oh no you wont!
Flo: Oh yes i will!
Yasmine: Grr! Shut up!
Flo: Why dont you!
Yasmine: Wait, is that a Mazda 3! In Iqaluit!
Daisy(in car): WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GGGGGGGGUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! (whizzes past them)
Yasmine: Well uh-
Flo: Now i HAVE to find her! (runs)
Olivia: Woah, Richard! Shouldnt we do the challenge?
Richard: That can wait! (kisses her on the cheek)
Olivia: Uh, um(blushes) anyway! What are we doing!
Richard: Ok, (sigh) I like you, and i want to take you on a date
Richard: Im not used to love! But am i doing this right! Am i doing YOU right!
Olivia: Its fine, and i like you too!
Richard: Really, thats great! Anyway, do you want a coffee?
Olivia: Sure! (drinks coffee)
Paul(CONF): I don't believe this! Olivia is with Richard! UGH!
Olivia(CONF): Eeek! He asked me out! And i said yes! I wonder whats gonna happen!
Richard(CONF): Wow, i thought love was just a heart theory considered by a-
Chris(somehow everyone hears): Guys! Daisy has found her way back! Get back NOW!
Chris: Technically, Team Iqaluit won the challenge because Daisy got herself back!
Julia: Woohoo! Good job Daisy! Maybe you are alright!
Chris: BUT! Did i say what would happen if Daisy found herself?
Chris: Well i guess ill tell you now. (coughs) Lets get the book out.
Attica: We don't have all day, so hurry!
Chris: According to this article, it basically says that, hmmm whoever leaves the grounds gets a challenge created to find her, the team or person that finds him/her wins! And if they find their own way back, they will get disqualified!
Daisy: Oh no.
Chris: SO! DAISY IS DISQUALIFIED FROM THE COMPETITION!
Julia: I second that! WHAT!
Daisy: You know, this is your fault Julia! You and your arguing face!
Julia: Um- yeah gurl im sorry!
Daisy: Shut up.
Julia: But Daisy I-
Daisy: You got me into town, you got me out! Laters losers and good luck to everyone but Julia!
Chris: Welcome to the Drift of Shame! You are the first female victim of this thing, how does it feel!
Daisy: Oh cram it Ch(drifts) (sigh) whatever!
Chris: Well 14 are left! Lets see what will happen next on Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit!
Chapter 6: Uni-adversity
Chris: Welcome students, today we will recap what happened last chapter when Daisy went home. To start off with- (someone grabs Chris and runs) WOOAH! Put me down dude! (man puts him in dark room and leaves) Uh well, cue the intro!!!!
Ms Gonzalez: What would you like Nmet?
Nmet: How about a big bucket of shut up and change the menu.
Ms Gonzalez: (gasp) Excuse me!
Nmet: Yep, why! CAUSE IT ONLY HAS IQALUIT FOOD! Only Brian and Lacey should eat this!
Ms Gonzalez: Oh sorry, but NO! It ain't happening!
Steph(at a table): You know Ms Gonzalez, i would change the menu if i were you!
Ms Gonzalez: And why?
Steph: Because i've seen Nmet grumpy in the morning, and it's not pretty.
Ms Gonzalez: Fine, i'll change the menu, but we don't have anything to give you.
Nmet: Wait a second, what does Chris have for breakfast?
Ms Gonzalez: He goes into town and buys regular food, he hates our traditional cuisine.
Steph: Really? Oh well, i think we should meet up with him right now!
Ms Gonzalez: Why?
Steph: Cause, we need to give him the taste of Iqaluit!
Ms Gonzalez: Already told you, he hates Iqaluit food.
Nmet: Has he actually tried it?
Ms Gonzalez: Uh well he- but he had, yeah he hasn't.
Steph: Ok, well bring him here and me and Nmet will guard the mess hall!
Ms Gonzalez: Ok then, ill guess ill go now then. Bye? (Walks out of mess hall)
Ms Gonzalez(CONF): What are they doing? I'm so confused.
Steph(CONF): Ok, today the plan works, you see, i trapped Chris when i think he was doing the recap of last episode, and now i am going to sabotage Chris, while giving him a date with Ms Gonzalez, but i mean a HORRIBLE DATE! As in, photos of you as a 7 year old in those clothes you liked hanging around the area! Wow, im evil!
Nmet(CONF): Ok, i have no idea why Steph supported me! But all that showed is the guy is super influential. He needs to go!
Wyatt: (yawn) These beds are horrible! (cockroach comes on his bed) I rest my case.
Londoya: I agree! We need better living conditions! We have soooo much in common!
Wyatt: Uh yeah, hey? Where is Steph?
Wyatt: My best friend from last season, duh.
Londoya: Oh yeah, i think he went to have breakfast. Anyway, were you two best friends?
Wyatt: Uh yeah, we were.
Londoya: Were? Who is your best friend now?
Wyatt: (sigh), this is gonna be a long day. Uh anyway! I mentioned him cause we need his help to vote out Nmet!
Londoya: Oh really, trust me, i'll show him my latest painting, LONDOYA AND WYATT ARE BESST BROS! And anyway, ill go show him now!
Wyatt: Oh, uh ok!
Londoya: Great! Oops, i never go anywhere without my pens and pencils, and paper! Bye! (leaves cabin)
Wyatt: (Sigh) That Londoya is weird, but in an endearing way.
Londoya(CONF): Am i Wyatts best friend? Cause he is so fun and he gets it! And even if we aren't best friends, i'll go and get his attention by getting Steph on our side! Geez, having a bromance is getting annoying.
Wyatt(CONF): See, the thing with Londoya is he is too eager. Why do you think i'd be friends with a guy who jumped of a cliff.... on purpose! But Londoya is one of my two allies left, so yeah i wont waste him.
Julia: (sigh) I feel so guilty, first Brett who makes me feel so, happy and amazing, and now my newest BFF!
Lacey: Yeah cause making someone go fetch coffee for you in a place they've never been before is a great way to treat a BFF.
Julia: Heh, im a great person.
Julia: Sheesh just a joke. But anyway, i know i didn't do anything wrong! Ab-sol-ute-ly nothing.
Lacey: Oh i've read about this, you're getting the first stage of grief, denial!
Julia: Huh? But she isn't dead.
Lacey: Yeah but, you lost someone, and now you lost two!
Julia: I guess, well just please promise me you wont leave next!
Lacey: Uh, ok. I try.
Julia: Thanks, anyway what are the next stages?
Lacey: After denial you'll hit your guilt phase, then you'll start to get angry and bargain, then depression comes next, after that you feel better and accept it.
Julia: Why do you know this stuff?
Lacey: (sniff), don't ask!
Julia: Oh oops im sorry i didn't mean to make you cry!
Lacey: (sniff) its fine, anyway, i think im gonna go eat now, bye!
Lacey: Ok (walks into mess hall) GAH! What happened here!
Londoya: Steph wanted a hand with the date so i helped him,
Lacey: What? Paint really bad paintings of Chris and Ms Gonzalez?
Steph: Yes! And i will serve the two horrible food!
Lacey: Ok my mind is spinning, why are you doing all of this?
Mnet: Because Chris is a jerk to Theodore!
Lacey: What does Theodore have to do with this?
Steph: (sigh) it all started last season. Once Theodore wanted to play a prank on Chris for being so mean but he failed, then i started helping him!
Lacey: Uh ok,
Steph: And now Ms Gonzalez is getting payed more because Ms Gonzalez made the food ONLY IQALUIT!
Londoya: So we are getting revenge! And hey, since you are from Iqaluit, do you happen to know how to cook any good food! First we tried Fllo but she isn't a great cook.
Flo(in bathroom collecting toilet paper): I HEARD THAT!
Mnet: And Nmet is trying right now but if you can see Nmet clearly can't cook caribou!
Nmet: Oh please, like you wouldn't have burnt it as well!
Lacey: Ok, i'll try to help? But how many people are actually helping here?
Mnet: If we include you there is 6 of us.
Lacey: Oh alright, well hey! If you want Chris to have a horrible date, then why don't you let Nmet burn the meat!
Steph: Great idea! Hey you can supervise how Flo is doing in the toilet!
Lacey: Sorry, what!
Steph: We put laxative in all the food so Flo is getting all the toilet paper so they have no choice.
Lacey: Ok fine...
Lacey(CONF): The things i do for safety.
Brian: Hey Richard, nice job with you and Olivia!
Richard: Oh it was nothing, heh.
Brian: Sure sounded like nothing! Anyway, lets form an alliance!
Richard: But logistically that is socially important, because i've studied the show and, people who form alliances on different teams normally get voted off,
Brian: But didn't you hear the news?
Richard: What news?
Brian: After today, i'll be on your team!
Richard: Uh, alright!
Brian: So what do you say!
Richard: Fine, BUT, if you are lying i will easily say no! Let me get my lie detector!
Brian: (gulp), Hey! Sometimes you need to trust people!
Richard: Brian, it is my decision how i play this game.
Brian: But sometimes you can't trust machines, cause they don't have a heart! They have no soul.
Richard: Yeah, sure, ok! Bye! I've gotta go-
Chris(on school communication system): Guys! Meet me at the School Hall! We've got a big challenge!
Chris: Yesterday, remember when i said the winning team would pick who went home! Yeah i was kidding, they got to pick who was leaving, but i would have moved it onto their team and replaced someone else randomly! But since she got disqualified, theres no way to make that happen! So, i thought, two people can switch teams right now!
Brian(CONF): I swear i am the luckiest guy on earth.
Brian: Hey, can i switch teams!
Chris: And onto which team!
Brian: Team Foraiy!
Flo: Also, can i switch, and change the name to team Boraiy!
Attica: Oh man i wanted to switch onto team Iqaluit!
Chris: OK! Then, you can! Iqaluits, wanting to trade for Attica!
Paul: Ill go onto team Boriay!
Chris: Ok then, now its team Borpiy, but since Isaac is out team Borpy. And now, no more team swaps!
THESE ARE THE TEAMS NOW
The Winning Team: Wyatt, Nmet, Mnet, Steph and Londoya
Team Borpy: Brian, Olivia, Richard, Paul and Yasmine
Team Iqaluit: Flo, Lacey, Julia, Attica
Chris: Also! Do all new team names! Except for team Borpy.
Julia: Hey, we are an all female team so how about, Team Female!
Chris: Ok, Julia, Attica, Flo and Lacey you are now team Female, The Winning Team!
Wyatt: How abou-
Londoya: TEAM 1ST PLACE!
Chris: Alright, Wyatt, Steph, Nmet, Mnet and Londoya, you are now Team 1st Place!
Three Teams, Team 1st Place, Team Borpy and Team Female
Chris: Anyway, today you are going above your age, cause your going to college/university!
Paul: University? Is that when the universe crashes into a city?
Olivia(CONF): My team is officially filled with morons and manipulators. At least Flo and Attica are sane! But hey, me and Richard are dating, so i don't care!
Chris: Cause this is a drama show, each team has to invent a type of Masters Degree that might be crazy! Here is some ideas!
Flo: Masters Degree in Shopping, Masters Degree in Eating Hot-dogs?
Flo(CONF): Has Chris ran out of ideas? Because creating a new masters degree is sorta weird.
Chris: Me, Theodore, Ms Gonzalez and also a classic TDI competitor will come and judge! I will judge on how realistic the thing is, Theodore will rate how well designed it is, Ms Gonzalez will mark how creative it is and the not to be known TDI player will judge how much he'd actually want to do the course. Now GO!
Nmet: Ok, guys! We have to make a new type of masters degree, any ideas?
Londoya: How about a masters degree in Creative Arts?
Nmet: Well, that is more realistic than a masters degree in hot dogs, ok. Londoya you make it look more realistic, Wyatt you focus on making the course for it, Mnet, you make it look creative and Steph you make it easy to do!
Steph: And you will be-
Nmet: Ordering you slackers around! Except for Mnet, she isn't a slacker. Now MOVE IT!
Londoya(whispers to Steph): Hey, have you noticed that Nmet has became super bossy?
Steph(whispers to Londoya): Duh!
Londoya(whispers to Steph): Well team up with Wyatt and I, and vote her out!
Steph(whispers to Londoya): That's actually a good idea!
Nmet: BOYS! QUIT FLAPPING YOUR GUMS AND START WORKING!
Steph: Ok then Dictator Nmet!
Nmet: (gasp) DICTATOR! Alright! Guys! New plan, fail the challenge! We need to vote out Steph!
Mnet: What happened to voting out Londoya Nmet!
Nmet: SHUT UP! NOW THEY HEARD! UGH!
Wyatt(CONF): I don't know what happened, but ill take it!
Olivia: We are making a Masters in Statistics!
Brian: NO! We are making a masters in Athletic History!
Richard: I think i have to agree with my girlfriend, we are doing a masters in Statistics!
Paul: Wait, you and Olivia are d-d-ating! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Anyway i think we should do a Masters degree on Inventive Technology!
Yasmine: Hang on, i actually like that idea!
Brian: Woah, Paul thats a great idea! Who knew there was a brain in there!
Paul: Heh, stop flattering me!
Olivia: I actually can agree, thats a good idea.
Paul: You really think so?
Olivia: Of course!
Paul: (flusters) Oh uh, um. Well then uh, lets get to work!
Richard(CONF): Hmm, i think Paul likes Olivia, my girlfriend Olivia, my FIRST girlfriend Olivia! I will not lose her!
Richard: Olive, why did you give up in the MOS?
Olivia: 3 things, one! Do not call me pet names! Two, if you are going to call me pet names, DON'T call me Olive! I hate olives! And 3, what does MOS stand for?
Richard: Oh, uh, ok. I will just, get some pens for the degree thing.
Olivia: Oh, ok bye!
Yasmine: Why does he look so bummed Olivia?
Olivia: Our relationship is going to a rough start, (Sigh)
Yasmine(CONF): So much drama going on and im not doing anything about it! Well then, plan 1 to seem more devious! Get the people on Team Female to turn against Flo! Haha!
Julia: Ok, what about a masters in co-ordination!
Lacey: Really! This might have something to do with your grief stages!
Julia: NO! Hear me out, when i say co-ordination i mean putting pieces together, and creating things like jobs.
Flo: What does that have to do with co-ordination?
Julia: Well you think of a better word!
Lacey: ... good point.
Attica: Ok fine, i think we can do thi- GAH! Help, someone is kidnapping me!
Julia: Wait what!
Attica: Somebody is grabbing my legs and pulling me away! Help guys!
Flo: Wait, who is pulling you!
Attica: Is that Yasmine?
Flo: Oh it is! DROP ATTICA NOW!
Yasmine: Whatever, uh, Nmet forced me to get you to her team.
Yasmine: So you could say your ideas to their team.
Flo: So why did she get you to do it, explain. NOW.
Yasmine: Because it would have been too obvious, besides she didn't want the blame!
Lacey: Ok, fine well just leave her alone!
Yasmine: Alright, bye!
Yasmine(CONF): Great! Now how is Flo going to get out!
Chris(on school communication system): You have 5 minutes left before presentation! And we are presenting in the mess hall! Ok!
Nmet: Hah! He is going to go in the mess hall!
Steph: I can't wait for his reaction!
Wyatt: Why are all you guys laughing?
Londoya: You will see buddy, you will see, anyway, is our Master if All You Can Eat Buffet ready?
Nmet: I think so, lets go to the mess hall, i have to get there for his reaction.
Paul: I think we are ready!
Olivia: Whatever you say, boss.
Julia: Alright so were done with this co-ordination thing?
Lacey: Yep, lets go to the mess hall!
Attica: Why are you laughing?
Flo: You'll see when we get there!
Chris: Alright you all here! And why is there a huge black wallpaper right here! We cant see anything in the kitchen.
Steph: Chris, i don't think you will want to see whats on the other side of that thing! (Ms Gonzalez comes in, with Theodore and winner of TDI Owen)
Ms Gonzalez: Can we sit down now im so tired! (takes of wallpaper and gasps)
Everyone but Chris and Ms Gonzalez: Hahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaaaaaa! Hehe!
Steph: Heh. Anyway, Chris would you like to start!
Owen: Oh that is hilarious! Hey, is that a turkey rib!
Nmet: Owen, NO! Don't eat that it has!
Owen: Laxative, i can taste it (farts) you think this is my first time! I wont need to (farts) go anywhere!
Chris: Ms Gonzalez: Im sure this is some type of mistake!
Ms Gonzalez: Funny, cause it looks like you wrote me a CARD! Eww! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am in love, I'm in love with you! Eww! So gross! (barfs)
Chris: Ok, put your hand up if you were responsible for anything here! (Steph, Flo, Nmet, Mnet, Londoya and Lacey put their hands up) OK! Since four hands were put up by Team 1st Place, team 1st place is now team last place! And because 2 hands came up from team Female, they will come second! Team Borpy, you have won the challenge!
Team Borpy: Woohoo!
Team 1st Place: Aww!
Nmet: Wyatt, Londoya, i need you to vote out Steph!
Wyatt: Huh? Why?
Nmet: Because he is a threat! He came 3rd last season!
Wyatt: But i came 1st in season 1, which is a higher ranking.
Nmet: (sigh) Look at all the allies Steph has, he has you and Londoya, Attica and Olivia. And you have?
Wyatt: The whole team, i still don't see why he is a bigger threat than me!
Nmet: Im keeping you because we need you more, last season you got rigged out, both times Steph got out it was fair and square.
Londoya: Last season Steph got out because of Undulen's idol. If it wasn't for that he could have won!
Nmet: Exactly, thats why he is a bigger threat, cause he almost got to the finale!
Wyatt: But i di-
Nmet: Argue one more time and ill convince Steph and Mnet to vote you out! Bye! (walks away)
Londoya: Are we actually going to listen to her?
Wyatt: Duh! Of course not! We're still voting her!
Chris(on school communication system): Team 1st Place meet me at the elimination area! Now!
Chris: Really! You guys disappointed me! But anyway, go and vote now.
Wyatt(CONF): Whatever, your time has come!
Londoya(CONF): It's gonna be 3-2, good luck surviving.
Mnet(CONF): (sigh) Nmet never told me who to vote so i guess i'll vote you!
Nmet(CONF): So long 3rd placer.
Steph(CONF): (sigh) You voted me out in season 1, so this is sorta some type of revenge!
Chris: It was a 3-1-1 vote, and the 2 people who didn't get a vote were Londoya and Mnet!
Chris: Wyatt, you got one vote tonight, but you are safe.
Chris: The other person who got only 1 vote was
Nmet: WHAT! But it should be 4-1! With Steph going home!
Wyatt: Nmet, you are such a control freak! Look at how i won, i didn't dictate the Jawful Jaguars, and Olivia didn't take over the Depressed Loners! So either way, you are never going to win this if you act like that!
Nmet: Oh Whatever twinkle toes! Good luck to Mnet! ONLY Mnet!
Chris: Any last words?
Nmet: Mnet, win for us- (starts to drift away) GAH!
Chris: Alright, 5 have left 13 remain, who will survive this game! Find out next time on Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit!
Chapter 7: Dating Disasters
Eric: Where are we?
Hannah: I have no idea? But after 1 week without food, that is what we need to find first!
Eric: Yeah, but we will never find food here.
Random Lady: (sniff) Have you seen my father, running a business at a place called Northmart?
Eric: Sorry, no.
Random Lady: Oh, well (sniff), do you know where a millionaire might be in this place.
Eric: Actually, i happen to know 2!
Random Lady: Really? Where?
Eric: At Iqaluit High School.
Random Lady: Whats his name? Or her name!
Eric: Wyatt and Oliv-
Random Lady: Wait yes! You know Wyatt! And where he is? Take me to Iqaluit High School please!
Hannah: Oh haha! We haven't ate in about a week! We need to snack first!
Random Lady: Alright but straight after that? You have to take me to that high school so i can get my son back!
Hannah: Oh! Ok! Do you happen to know a good place to eat?
Mnet: ..Heh. Girl i can do this! I'm all alone in my trailer, this is too depressing for me! I've gotta have breakfast!(Walks to mess hall) Oh eew!
Olivia: (kissing Richard) Oh, (Stops kissing)Hi Mnet.
Mnet: Hi, (sigh)
Richard: Why aren't you with Nmet!
Olivia: (whispers) Like always...
Mnet: Because she got voted out!
Mnet: Did you see who was left on the team? The boys outnumbered us and they picked off Nmet! (sigh) And i have no strategy!
Olivia: We can help you with that!
Richard: We can?
Olivia: (puts her hand over Richard's mouth) Sure, you tell us about what is happening on that team and we help you stay alive!
Richard: It wont work, those 3 are stuck together like glue (Olivia elbows him) OWW!
Mnet: I swear you two are so cute together! But Richard is right, unless some miracle happens, there is no way i can survive if we lose again! And there are 4 people left to go until merge!
Olivia: Not necessarily, if you can get one to turn on the other 2, then you'll be fine!
Mnet: (sigh) Fine, i'll try. But this does not mean i want to do this.
Wyatt: Well we are all so going to make merge!
Londoya: I know right, you and I are buddies till the end! (puts his arm around Wyatts shoulder)
Wyatt: What about Steph? Heh, and can you take your arm off me?
Londoya: Oh yeah, sorry.
Wyatt: Anyway, i have something big to tell you two. Steph, you already know.
Steph: What are you going to talk abou- Oh! I know.
Londoya: What? That i can get new oil paint, cause i've ran out.
Wyatt: No, my mother is missing in the tundra!
Steph: This isn't tundra, this is a cold hard ice zone.
Wyatt: Not helping Steph-
Londoya: Oh poor Wyatt! Let me hug it out of you!
Wyatt: Wait no- (Londoya squeezes Wyatt)
Wyatt(CONF): Ok, Londoya is getting annoying.
Julia: GRR! (rips her pillow) ARGH! GRRR!
Attica: Whats happening to Julia?
Lacey: 3rd stage of grief, she skipped shock, went to denial and now is um
Julia: WHAT ARE YOU THREE LOOKING AT!
Attica: We are dead aren't we.
Flo: Yeah well lets take advantage of this angry Julia.
Attica: I'd never do that!
Lacey: Yeah, she might be crazy but she is our friend!
Julia: DID YOU SAY IM CRAZY!
Lacey: See what i mean, we can not take advantage of her, at least if we want all our bones intact!
Attica: Yep. We would die.
Flo: What i meant was use it to help us win challenges so we can all get to the merge.
Attica: Well ok then megabrain, if you think that is going to work, prove it. (winks at Lacey)
Flo: Fine, Julia?
Flo: I know you're angry right now
Attica(CONF): Understatement of the year(rolls eyes)
Flo: But why don't you focus your energy so we can win the challenge!
Julia: Fine, whatever. (sigh) thanks Flo.
Julia: I'll go have breakfast now, later. (walks to mess hall)
Lacey: How did you do that!
Attica: With all your bones intact?
Flo: I know, im good.
Chris(On school communication system): Time for the challenge! Meet me at the cafeteria pronto!
Attica: Guess well see how "good" you are now.
Chris: Alright, you have finish school, now time for the first troubles, DATING!
Mergers of season 1: Oh no.
Chris: So we are going to re invent the valentine challenge from season 1, you will be paired up with someone of the opposite gender, and kiss them! Oh let me explain, its a relay race! So pick 2 people on your team and make them kiss! Once i say it looks real enough, the next couple has to go and draw 100 love hearts on the piece of paper, and then finally as a team, you must take a photo of all of you, and it must look very romantic, Ms Gonzalez will be see the photo, and when she deems it cute enough, you finish the challenge! First team to finish wins! Last team to finish gets to vote someone out! Now go decide who is doing what!
Flo: Uh Chris, we are an all-female team, how do you think we can do the kiss scene!
Chris: Oh yeah, OWEN! Get over here!
Owen: I'll do it! (farts and picks his nose)
Flo: Oh, uh eww.
Julia: Flo, don't complain, its better we have something over nothing!
Flo: If you're so ok about it why don't you kiss him!
Julia: WHY YOU LITTLE- (sigh) Fine!
Lacey: Alright , me and Lacey will do the love heart thing and yeah then we do the photo!
Steph: Guys, i can't do the kiss, i have a girlfriend! (blow kisses Attica)
Attica: Aww, thanks Steph!
Londoya: Well i have to do the art because well-
Steph: Because you're Londoya?
Wyatt: I guess that means,
Mnet: Uh, you and me have to
Steph: That means Londoya and I do the love hearts.
Brian: Obviously Richard and Olivia can do the smooching and i guess me and Paul will do the drawing.
Yasmine: (Sniff) Why did you leave me out of it! I'm the one who is dating Richard!
Team Borpy: WHAT!
Brian: I thought it was Richard and Olivia!
Yasmine: NO! Im dating him! (sniff)
Olivia: No you are not!
Yasmine: Yes i am!
Richard: I can confirm that i am dating Olivia!
Yasmine: Wait! Richard you are cheating on me!
Richard: Ugh! No i am not!
Brian: Ok then i guess that Richard, since you are cheating on Olivia, someone else can kiss her-
Richard: But i-
Brian: Paul! Wanna kiss Olivia! Yasmine you can draw the love hearts!
Paul: Oh yes!
Olivia: Wait, why did you ask me out if you were dating Yasmine! DONT TALK TO ME! EVER!
Richard: But! YASMINE KHOURY!
Chris: Time for some smooching!
Wyatt: Oh, i guess uh lets do this!
Mnet: Oh yeah! Hehe- uhh
Wyatt: This is awkward! (leans in to kiss)
Mnet: Ok! Eww! I CANT DO THIS!
Wyatt: Mnet, i don't believe im saying this but please! Do you think Nmet would want to see you fail!
Mnet: (gasp) You are right! (kisses him passionately)
Chris: Its a pass for Team 1st Place!
Mnet: Ok, we pretend that never happened, agreed!
Wyatt: Agreed! Now lets run to the mess hall where Steph and Londoya are drawing at!
Julia: Ok, can you just do this so i don't vomit all over you!
Owen: Oh ok! (tummy rumbles)
Julia: (puckers lips)
Owen: (PUKEers lips and they kiss)
Chris: Ok! Team Female+Owen has passed!
Julia: Oh eww!
Owen: (burps in Julia's face)
Julia: (vomits in Owen's face) Ok, lets get out of here.
Olivia: Uh Paul?
Paul: Yes Olivia!
Olivia: Hey you got my name right, anyway, after what Richard did, i don't think im ready! But anyway lets get this over with.
Paul(CONF): Best moment of my leaf i mean life.
Olivia: Heh! (kisses Paul)
Chris: Pass for Team Borpy, you better hurry though! You are the last team to finish!
Julia: We are here! (vomits in Owens face)
Lacey: Oh, what happened to you two?
Julia: OWEN HAPPENED!
Owen: Heh, what did i do?
Julia: SHUT UP! But guys start drawing!
Flo: Oh right.
Lacey: On it! But you might wanna fix yourself up?
Wyatt: Steph! Londoya! We are here!
Steph: Great! Ok! me and Londoya will start now (Starts drawing love hearts)
Londoya: Ok remember to take a 45 degree oh no! I did a tiny piece 47 degrees instead of 45!
Steph: Uh Londoya! This isn't time for detail!
Londoya: Ssshhhh! You can't rush art!
Steph: Dude! Did i just say dude?
Steph: It was a rhetorical question, but anyway, Londoya i've done 7 (draws love heart) now 8 and you're still on your first one?
Londoya: Leave me alone! I did my first one! Now i'm doing my second!
Olivia: Paul hurry we've gotta go!
Paul: Oh, ok. But before we go
Paul: I was woundering i mean wondering if you wanted to maybe be my girlfriend!
Olivia: (laughs) Oh thats a good one Paul but seriously we've gotta go!
Paul(CONF): (sniff) She thought i was joking! But-but! Ugh i hate having a crust i mean crush!
Steph: LONDOYA HURRY UP! I've done 67 love hearts and you've done
Steph: Ok, basic math, what is 67-5?
Londoya: 62. Obviously!
Steph: Yeah, which means i have done 62 more than you!
Londoya: Now 61, i just finished one.
Steph: UGH! We are gonna lose our lead!
Lacey: Yes! We are done!
Attica: Great job girls! Now quick, ill give it to Ms Gonzalez and you guys start going to the photo area.
Steph: Hmph, told you so!
Londoya: YOU DON'T GET IT! YOU CAN NOT! ABSOLUTELY RUSH ART! LEAVE ME ALONE!
Steph: I wont leave you alone if you continue!
Wyatt: GUYS! quit it! If you didn't notice, Team Borpy just arrived!
Olivia: Brian! Yasmine hurry (gasps for breath) up! We're in last right now! (faints)
Brian: Olivia? What happened to you?
Olivia: Paul wouldn't lift his legs cause he was "upset" about something so i had to carry him.
Brian: Oh ok!
Olivia: Anyway, enough about me! Start drawing these love hearts!
Brian: Ok sure!
Yasmine: Will do captain!
Olivia: Don't ever call me captain!
Yasmine: Sheesh i was trying to compliment you!
Steph: Woo! We have 13 more to go!
Londoya: Whatever, i did 10 of them and they look better!
Steph: Oh my i can't take it anymore! Londoya, do the rest yourself!
Mnet: We'd be 93 when he finishes then.
Londoya: Oh shut it! None of you understand real art! Oops! to forgot to really get the texture in this love heart!
Steph: If we lose, you are so going to get eliminated. I mean, the other team is catching up!
Brian: 57 (draws love heart)
Yasmine: 58, 59, 60, 61! (draws 4 love hearts)
Londoya: But! URGH!
Wyatt: This is getting annoying, Steph! Come on! You can do 13 more love hearts!
Steph: I could, but we don't deserve to win or to get second!
Wyatt: (rolls eyes) Plan A didn't work it's time for Plan B! Londoya? Can you please pick up the paste!
Londoya: (finishes in 2 seconds) Ok! We are done! Now lets give it to Ms Gonzalez!
Londoya(CONF): I'll do anything for Wyatt. Even if it means rush art! Our bromance is so close we sorta have to listen to each other!
Brian: And 100! (draws love heart)
Richard: Quick, give it to Ms Gonzalez!
Julia: Alright, and Attica you stand there! Say cheese everyone!
Intern: Isn't that supposed to be my job?
Julia: ARE YOU TRYING TO REASON WITH ME! HUH?
Lacey: Wow, Flo you are so goo! (sarcasm)
Flo: Ok then sassy pants, you try!
Lacey: Julia, calm down, and just get the photo done, you don't want to lose this challenge right!
Julia: Yeah, duh! But anyway! Whatever! JUST GET IT DONE INTERN!
Attica: Alright girls! Back into place!
Intern: Say Team Female!
Flo/Lacey/Attica: Team Female!
Intern: Wow, the picture looks great!
Flo: Quick, ill take it to Ms Gonzalez (gives it to Ms Gonzalez)
Ms Gonzalez(on loudspeaker): Team Female has taken first place! Team Borpy, team so called 1st Place, hurry if you all want to stay!
Brian: Hey intern! Come over here right now and help us! We've got an elimination to avoid!
Paul: Yeah, hurry up! My base i mean face is starting to lose its sense of feeling.
Brian: Richard you stand here!
Richard: Sure. Wait, do i have to stand next to Olivia!
Brian: Sorry, thats captains orders! Besides you said yes!
Intern: Say chee- EWW! WHO CUT THE CHEESE! (faints)
Yasmine: Huh! What happened?
Owen: Oh yeah, hi guys! (smell seems to come from him)
Olivia: Oh eew!
Olivia: Shut it you crybaby.
Richard: Crybaby? CRYBABY! UGH! (leaves area)
Richard(CONF): Can't a guy sigh! Hey that rhymes, whatever, this is so unfair that i can't be allowed to show emotion. (sniff) I didn't ever date Yasmine! URGH! But i can't let people think i'm just some wannabe! (cries) Oh im a loser who just happens to know some facts! (Cries more)
Paul: Oh Pitchard!
Rest of team: Its Richard!
Paul: GRRRRRRRRRR! I am so sick of my inability to walk the English Language!
Yasmine: Don't you mean talk?
Paul: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (cries and walks away)
Yasmine: Well great Olivia! Both of you boyfriends are gone! Haha!
Olivia: EXCUSE ME! (walks away, crying)
Brian: Great! Now look at what you've done! Just leave me a lone! Forever!
Yasmine: Grr! But i didn't do anything! (the two walk off in different directions)
Intern: Uh isn't there some other team thats supposed to be in this!
Wyatt: Yes but i wouldn't worry because
Ms Gonzalez(on loudspeaker): Team 1st Place have just finished so Team Borpy, you are going to elimination!
Brian: Can you vote _____________ tonight? No arguments?
Paul: Uh ok.
Chris: Team Borpy, you are going to eliminate one of your members! Good luck!
Richard(CONF): Just please, please happen.
Yasmine(CONF): Hehe, nobody argues with me.
Brian(CONF): Hopefully Paul is trustworthy enough
Paul(CONF): Ooh! Shiny!
Olivia(CONF): (Sigh) Im sorry! But! (Sigh)
Chris: Oooh! Spicy! It was a 2-1-1-1 vote. And the only person that didn't get a vote was Paul! And also before i forget! Instead of handing Gilded Chris Awards, we will give you an edible pencil!
Olivia: A what?
Chris: Anyway! Paul! Here you go!
Paul: Yay! (eats pencil)
Chris: Also safe but with a vote, Brian!
Brian: Yes! And Chris, what are these "pencils" made out of?
Chris: Sugar mostly.
Brian(CONF): I can't eat sugar! I need to woe the ladies! Hey actually! That gives me an idea! Hehe.
Chris: And the next one safe but still with a vote Yasmine!
Yasmine: Yes! (gets pencil) In your face Brian! (blows raspberry)
Brian: Mwa! (blow kisses)
Yasmine: Huh? (flusters)
Chris: Anyway, the last one safe is!
Chris: Richard! (gives him pencil)
Olivia: What! Oh no! Well, i guess it doesn't matter anyway, i've already won. But i don't like anyone on this team!
Richard: Wait! Before you leave Olivia?
Olivia(steps on drift of shame): What!
Richard: I didn't date Yasmine!
Olivia: How can i believe! You?
Richard: Let me put it in song!
This is a song that Richard and for some parts Olivia and Paul sing. Also, Chris speaks at the end. Anyway, unlike the past 3 songs i've made, this has no music to go with it. Sorry! Also, this contains the remainder of the other thing in the episode, basically Chris signing off. Enjoy!
Richard: I know today was very messed up
And i know, im stupid, im sorry, im lame!
But if i know one thing about me, its that
I know i never dated Yasmine in this game!
Olivia: So you dated her off-screen! Pff! Now can i go home!
Richard: I know this may look contreversial
I can't i blame you this is hard!
But if you are anything to me
You are my shining star!
No matter how many scams there are
Don't be sad, don't cry, don't winge!
Because me, Richard is going to WIN
Richard: Cause 1 you are cute,
2 you are funny!
3 you are all, made up of money!
But there's hundreds, thousands a million reasons to love you!
oh, oh, oooh, oh, oh, oooh,
4 you are stylish
5 you are nice
6 you give tons of great advice
But there's hundreds, thousands a million reasons to love you!
oh, oh, oooh, oh, oh, oooh
Richard: I hope that I
Have proved something
In the past minute and I
Wanna stop singing!
But i'll keep doing something romantic for you!
oh, oh, oooh, oh, oh, oooh
Olivia: Ok why don't you shut up!
You sorta have a point!
And now i feel guilty
About ever feeling paranoid!
You are me, i am you!
oh, oh, oooh, oh, oh, oooh
Paul: No matter how random this might be!
Olivia take him back
There is no other way
Richard: Cause 7 you are smart
8 you are right!
About almost anything when us two, when we fight!
But there's hundreds, thousands a million reasons to love you!
oh, oh, oooh, oh, oh, oooh
Cause 9 you are ready
To prove people wrong!
That is the reason why i sing this song
But there's hundreds, thousands a million reasons to love you!
oh, oh, oooh, oh, oh, oooh
Olivia: Alright Richard, i understand your point!
But if you weren't so busy singing!
But im so far away im closer to Detroit!
Than to you
Paul: Alright Richard,
i think its time to say goodbye
Uh needs some oars to ride
Her away from here-
Richard: Alright but one last time!
All Three: Cause 1 you are cute,
2 you are funny!
3 you are all, made up of money!
But there's hundreds, thousands a million reasons to love you!
oh, oh, oooh, oh, oh, oooh,
4 you are stylish
5 you are nice
6 you give tons of great advice
But there's hundreds, thousands a million reasons to love you!
oh, oh, oooh, oh, oh, oooh
Cause 7 you are smart
8 you are right!
About almost anything when us two, when we fight!
But there's hundreds, thousands a million reasons to love you!
oh, oh, oooh, oh, oh, oooh
Cause 9 you are ready
To prove people wrong!
That is the reason why i sing this song
But there's hundreds, thousands a million reasons to love you!
oh, oh, oooh, oh, oh, oooh
But there's hundreds, thousands a million reasons to love you!
But there's millions, billions A TRILLION REASONS TO LOVE YOU!
Chris: (softly) And theres one million reasons for you to go away! (presses button)
Olivia: Bye GUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS-
Richard/Paul: How could you! (Richard continuously slaps Chris)
Paul: I've alwees i mean always wanted to do this! 6 down, 12 to go! What will happen next time on Total Drama: Life of I-color-it! I mean Iqaluit.
Chapter 8: You're Hired!
Eric: Mmm! Who thought even the food i was forced to eat back when i was poor would taste this good!
Hannah: Hahaha! Well speak for yourself! This tastes horrible!
Eric: Shut up, we haven't ate in like 12 days.
Hannah: I guess you are right! Haha!
Wyatts Mum: Alright, now, that ive fed you two, take me to Iqaluit High School!
Eric: But uh the thing is we don't actually know the way back! We'll i remember there was a lake nearby. If you see any river or lake, then tell me.
Wyatts Mum: Alright. Anyway, why aren't you competing in that show! Did you get eliminated?
Hannah: Hahaha! No silly billy, we didn't qualify!
Eric: Do you want the long story or the short one.
Wyatt's Mum: Please dear, take all the time you need!
Eric: Alright, you heard about the earthquake in Iqaluit?
Wyatt's Mum: Yeah?
Eric: Me and Hannah-
Wyatt's Mum: You mean, Hannah and I-
Eric: Whatever, were stuck underground, we actually saw Wyatt briefly! I think he was in models of a human body!
Wyatts Mum: Alright! Well lets find him!
Richard: (sigh) Olivia.
Richard(CONF): Olivia is my first girlfriend, unless you count a girl that i sort of dated back at school. But whatever, i've never experienced a break up. And the emotions are, lets say out of my box. I am usually the independent guy, but i'm not so sure.
Paul: Hi Richard, sad about Olivia gone?
Richard: Of course, i feel like i lost a leg.
Paul: Oh by the way, i think i should tell you something. About Olivia.
Richard: This better be good news.
Paul: Oh, i um sorta maybe like Olivia.
Richard: WHAT! BUT, WHY! SHE IS OFF THE MARKET!
Paul: Yeah but Olivia makes me drool, i mean-
Richard: She makes you drool huh! No explaining there!
Paul: I meant! She makes me cool! I just she- she is hot-
Richard: Excuse me!
Paul: I mean lots of fun for a guy who always makes mistakes when he speaks.
Richard: Stop lying and leave me alone! (Walks away)
Paul(CONF): Unbelipable i mean- you know what i meant. I do like Olivia! But i wouldn't take her if she was taken! Richard needs to learn a little something called bust, i mean dust, i mean trust.
Julia: Why does this always taste cold? Why do the challenges have to be inconsistent! Why do i even care? Nothing matters anyway.
Attica: Are you sure you're not Steph dressed in a blouse, skirt and wig?
Julia: I'd hope not.
Attica: Is that supposed to be an insult to my boyfriend Steph! Oh you are going DOWN!
Lacey: Attica, think its a smart idea to back down.
Flo: Whatever, those two can get themselves eliminated, (puts arm around Lacey's shoulder) we can make it to the merge.
Lacey: Oh yeah! Sure!
Lacey(CONF): What was that!
Lacey: Are you trying to play me, i watched season 1.
Flo: Did i say i was going to play you? No, but would you be my ally.
Lacey: Uh, definitely!
Attica: Flo, Lacey, we aren't going into a fight. Just setting things straight. But anyway, don't worry about making merge, cause we wont lose again!
Julia: And if we do, who cares, we win, we lose. Its like life decides to not be fair.
Lacey: Alright, im a superfan on pretty much every TV show available, but i know for a fact i have never heard anything that depressing.
Flo: (sigh) This will be a long day.
Londoya: Hi Wyatt my best friend!
Wyatt: (rolls eyes) Hi Londoya..
Londoya: Look! I made a teacup with our face on it!
Wyatt: Wait, theres one teacup, uh thanks.
Londoya: What i thought we could do with it is one day i drink from it, next day you drink from it!
Wyatt: Oh, eew.
Londoya: Of course i'll wash it! I have dish washers in my backpack!
Wyatt: Yeah, ok. Ok Londoya, i've got to- be somewhere- bye!
Londoya: Oh uh alright! Bye Wyatt! (Steph walks by)
Steph: Look at what washed up by the beach, a time consuming Londoya!
Londoya: Shut up Steph.
Steph: Whatever, its your fault. Maybe if you could draw a love heart in under a minute i wouldn't hate you so much.
Londoya: I've said it before and i'll say it again. YOU CANT RUSH ART!
Steph: (rolls eyes) Whatever Londloser.
Londoya: You are insulting my name! At least my name isn't a name FOR A GIRL!
Steph: SHUT UP! I am going to get ready for the challenge!
Chris(on school communication system): Employees, meet me at the hall pronto!
Wyatt(CONF): Londoya is SO ANNOYING! He never leaves me alone! I've gotta make sure he gets the point! I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND!
Steph(CONF): I don't usually get into catfights since, why should i. In a game like this, i could become a threat! But Londoya needs to get a grip on reality.
Londoya(CONF): You can't rush art. And why? Because usually if you rush then you don't try, and everything is better if it has effort.
Chris: Alright, today you are going to be unemployed, like you'll probably be for the rest of your life!
Mnet: Not in the mood for your sass Chris.
Chris: Yeeesh! Anyway today me, Ms Gonzalez and Theodore are your employers, basically it goes like this. One of us will accept members of each team, if we decide to not pick you, you are out. If you are picked, go to the mess hall for the second part of the challenge where we will test you with skills you'd need for jobs like, being able to carry a lot of stuff, good memory, fast addition skills. If you don't meet up with our expectations, you are fired. After that, most teams with players still employed! Wins! And the least will-
Flo: Automatically go to elimination and vote out one of their members! GET ON WITH IT!
Chris: Sheesh! Well guess what, were going old school so! No résumé´s! We will ask you questions, we will accept the overall best 9. Now we will start asking NOW!
Chris: What previous experience do you have with working?
Wyatt: I worked with stocking at Abercrombie and Fitch for about a year.
Steph: Oh yeah, i was shortly working at KFC before i quit cause of one of my co-workers.
Mnet: Eeek! No, im usually buying stuff, not the girl/guy behind the counter!
Londoya: I'm manager at the local art shop, Arty Pants.
Theodore: What previous experience do you have with working?
Brian: There's like, nowhere to work for teenagers in Iqaluit.
Yasmine: Sorta, do family businesses count?
Paul: Of course! I do the chores everyday!
Richard: Yep, i once worked at a local place called "Too Smart for your Money" but it got sued so it closed down for financial reasons.
Ms Gonzalez: What previous experience do you have with working?
Julia: I had a part-time job at a sportswear shop.
Attica: When i was 14 i worked at "Starbucks" and then i quit so i could play on this show.
Flo: No. I tried at Toys R Us. (which just closed down in real life) But they said my personality didn't fit them.
Lacey: I made lemonade and sold it, does that count? Probably not.
Chris: : If you were to describe yourself with 2 words, what would they be?
Steph: Recovering and able.
Londoya: Artistic and creative.
Wyatt: Quiet and underdog.
Mnet: Pretty but independent.
Theodore: Do i have to read of this darn thing! If you were to describe yourself with 2 words, what would they be? Stupid Chris and his stupid rules.
Brian; I guess, strong and witty.
Richard: Smart and aware.
Paul: Haha! Fun and happy! Most of the time.
Yasmine: I think i am a strategic and calm girl. Unless i see Flo or Brian.
Ms Gonzalez: If you were to describe yourself with 2 words, what would they be?
Julia: Athletic and bold.
Attica: Careful and caring.
Flo: Uh, to be honest, i've gotta say dishonest but useful.
Chris: Final question! What is your worst memory from the past 3 seasons.
Steph: Jumping off a cliff which got myself eliminated back in season 1.
Wyatt: Trusting Undulen last season.
Mnet: Ooh, theres a lot on that one-
Londoya: THINKING STEPH WAS AN OKAY GUY!
Theodore: Finally, the last question. Back in my day this never happened! What is your worst memory from the past 3 seasons.
Brian: I guess last season i should have dropped out for being the special host so i could help in the earthquake.
Paul: Trusting Wyatt and Nmet. THEY VOTED ME OUT!
Yasmine: Not convincing the rest of the team about Flo's wickedness.
Richard: Helping Julia last season, i eliminated myself to help her, then she got out next.
Ms Gonzalez: Alright girls, what is your worst memory from the past 3 seasons.
Julia: (sigh) Where do i begin.
Attica: Trying to fix one of the bricks at the camera room back in season 1.
Flo: Feuding with like everyone in season 1. I should have constructed myself better.
Lacey: Well i guess, i don't really know! I haven't made any regretful decisions yet!
Chris: Alright, based on that. We have decided from Team Borpy! Brian, Richard and Yasmine! Sorry Paul! But you were horrible!
Paul: Oh tan! I mean man!
Chris: From Team Female we accepted Julia, Attica and Flo. Sorry Lacey, you just didn't have the expertise.
Lacey: Great, well good luck girls!
Chris: And from Team 1st Place good job to Wyatt, Steph and Londoya! You guys are through! Mnet-
Mnet: Yeah, yeah i know i wasn't picked!
Chris: Chris: Alright, in Round 1! 2 of you will get out! And what you will do in this round! We'll see your skills on the counter! How fast can you add something up! Now, go to one of the tables, and there you will be asked to calculate someones order, we will have mini rounds, first one to answer correctly is safe! We do this until 2 people are left. They are out! Now TIME FOR ROUND 1!
Chris: On the piece of paper in front of you there is a maths equation. First one to put their hand up and say "SOLD" is safe! If any of our lovely viewers are wondering what the question is, it's 735.246836+3645.47836+697.4763. Now go!
- (40 seconds later)
Richard: SOLD! The answer is 50782.01496!
Chris: Wow! That was fast! Richard is safe! Now there are 6 spots. Anyway next question! 4387648+937859
Chris: Whats this? A tie? If you both get it right you are both through!
Chris: Correct! You two are both safe! Now 4 spots! What is 19 million divided by 76?
Chris: Whats the magic word?
Flo: SOLD! 250,000!
Yasmine: What but! Grr!
Chris: Fine you can both go through. Since we've done so many ties the next section can be a tie too! Including this one, how many episodes/chapters has happened in these whole three seasons?
Chris: Alright, whisper it to me!
Steph: (Whispers) 42.
Chris: Say it out lout.
Chris: CORRECT! Julia and Londoya? You never said anything so you are FIRED!
Londoya: Oh man!
Julia: (sigh) Whatever. Good luck girls!
Chris: Alright! See the 210 plastic plates over there? Grab 21 and run through these piles of tables. The fastest person each time will get their team someone safe! 2 people will get out in this! Good luck! And GO!
(7 contestants run to plates)
Brian: Hey Flo?
Flo: What? I'm trying to concentrate?
Brian: I just thought that your eyes are real pretty!
Flo: Really, thanks-
Chris: And Richard makes it across the line!
(6 contestants rush to grab plates)
Brian: Yasmine, you are really cute, i gotta say!
Yasmine: Oh! Thanks! But i hate you and i am going to get us another point! (runs to finish line)
Chris: And Yasmine is brings the score up to 2 Team Borpy!
Chris: Time for Round 3!
(5 contestants run to plates)
Wyatt: Wow Brian, your team is doing really well!
Londoya(from outside): Great job teammate Wyatt! Wyatt the winner!
Wyatt: Oh that is it! LONDOYA! SHUT UP! (runs to finish line) YOU'VE ANNOYED ME ALL SEASON AND ACTED LIKE WE ARE BEST FRIENDS! NEWS FLASH WE AREN'T SO GET A GRIP! LONDANNOYING!
Londoya: (sniff) If you were angry you just had to SAY SO! (cries)
Chris: After a bit of drama! Team 1st Place is back in the game! But Team Borpy is doing so well! They automatically wont lose this! Next round!
(4 contestants run to get plates)
Steph: Hey Attica!
Attica: Hi Steph, can't chat now, going to win the-
Steph: Eh sorry! A little too late!
Chris: And Steph is safe! One more spot! But automatically Team Female is going to elimination!
Attica: Oh man!
Chris: So, why don't we end here! Team 1st Place, Team Borpy you two are tied for 1st! Team Female! You have 5 minutes to meet me at elimination!
Lacey: Hey Attica, have you decided who to vote for yet!
Attica: At this point, i don't know, Flo seems to be more stable but Julia and i have history AGAINST Flo.
Lacey: Well honestly, i think i'll vote ______
Attica: Alright, go ahead. Good luck!
Lacey: Yeah, bye!
Julia: Hi Attica.
Attica: Oh hi Julia, do you know who you are voting?
Julia: I don't know? Do you?
Attica: No! But i won't vote you.
Julia: Me neither! (hugs Attica)
Chris: Alright ladies, this is the first time you've actually LOST. A challenge since Undulens elimination! Daisy is a bit complicated but whatever! Go vote!
Julia(CONF): Well two seasons ago this would be the best day of my life, but now. No, you're ok. But sorry.
Lacey(CONF): I don't know who else to vote.
Attica(CONF): I'm not voting my girl from season 1 and my girl from season 3. Sorry!
Flo(CONF): Cause, obviously you are the one who people are targeting if not me.
Chris: Two 2 safe without a vote are Attica and Lacey! And the last one safe is! (gives them pencils)
Chris: ITS A TIE!
Attica: Uh oh.
Lacey: This is bad!
Chris: Alright! I will ask you two a question based on economics! Whoever gets it correct wins? And the question is-
Flo: Please be about flowers.
Julia: Please be about sports!
Chris: What is the wealthiest city in Canada?
Flo: Is it? Toronto?
Chris: Technically yes! But which part of it, North, East, South or West!
Flo: I don't even know if there is an east Vancouver but i'll do it!
Julia: West Vancouver?
Chris: Flo! It's time for drift of shame!
Flo: Ugh! Great! GOOD LUCK GIRLS!
Chris: Flo! Any last words before you become our 2nd last person who merged last season to get out this time?
Flo: Whatever Chris! Tell Yasmine that i hate (ice sails away) HHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Chris: 2 to go before merge? Who will they be? Well find out on Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit!
Chapter 9: I think i wanna marry you
Eric: Hey? Is that it the school?
Wyatts Mum: Yes! It looks like it!
Eric: Now why don't we go in?
Wyatts Mum: Great! But. What does the sign say- just to make sure!
Eric: Nakasuk School! Awesom- wait. That isn't the right school.
Steph: Hi Wyatt!
Wyatt: Oh high.
Steph: Why do you look so upset.
Wyatt: You heard what happened yesterday, with Londoya?
Steph: Oh yeah, about that.
Wyatt: I slept in team Female's mens room.
Steph: Wait doesn't no one live there?
Wyatt: Exactly, i need some alone time.
Steph: Don't worry. I'll be here for you.
Wyatt: Thanks Steph, you're a true friend.
Steph: Yeah but. I need to tell you something.
Steph: Londoya was crying the cabin to pieces last night and he literally started biting the lego-bed and yeep, he's mental.
Wyatt: Oh no. Ok Steph?
Steph: Yeah Wyatt?
Wyatt: Throw the next challenge. If that is the case, i can't let you deal with Londoya! But anyway, i think i might take a walk. A LONG walk.
Steph: Ok, whatever makes you happy, and frankly, getting him out makes me happy too so...
Steph(CONF): That my friends is called a win-win situation. We fail to throw the challenge and we are gonna make merge, we lose the challenge Londannoying goes home.
Richard(CONF): Still don't know what i am right now, i just. Being the guy who always studies, its like i didn't have time for emotion. But without my textbooks, i just feel so different! But i have a bigger problem, i aligned myself with both Yasmine and Brian who right now hate each other, and even though she made me a threat, ill stick with Yasmine.
Brian: (yawn) What do you want Richard?
Richard: Oh its just that, uh, i uh. Need to tell you something.
Brian: What? I'm a busy man!
Richard: Ok, i'll come clean. I think we should not be in an alliance anymore.
Brian: WHAT GRR- i mean, sure. I guess.
Richard: Im sorry. But its just that, Yasmine told me i have to or she will skewer me alive!
Brian: Oh, ok. Then its fine, i wont kill you, but ill kill Yasmine! TODAY! ILL SKEWER HER ALIVE!
Richard: No Brian don-
Brian: Dude! Stand up for yourself!
Richard: But Brian-
Brian: Alright! Richard! I know you don't want things to be bad especially cause you told me but, i have to protect you!
Brian: Besides sooner or later, i would have killed her! Bye!(walks away)
Richard: Oh come on!
Richard(CONF): This is a bittersweet type of thing. The good thing Brian won't kill me, but he'll kill Yasmine and if he finds out the truth, he will kill me! My guilt meter is in Neptune right now.
Paul: Hi Shoelacey!
Lacey: Oh hi ShoePAULish.
Paul: Alright Shol- Lacey. That was a mistake. I just wanted to know.
Lacey: You just wanted to know?
Paul: Are you alight- I mean aligned with Brain i mean Brian?
Lacey: Paul, speak English properly and then i'll answer.
Paul: DON'T YOU KNOW MY PROBLIP! I meant problem.
Lacey: Yes, but you need to work on it or you'll get nowhere in life!
Paul: Im sorry but i just have it! Its something that wit i mean won't go away.
Lacey: Didn't Olivia teach you some stuff in season 1?
Paul: (sigh) Olive-a.
Lacey: (clicks) Hello? Paul? (slaps him)
Paul: Wha? Oh yeah she did. (Sigh)
Lacey: And you are upset because?
Paul: I had a crush on her but now she is with Richard!
Lacey: Wait! Say that again and WHAT! You liked Olivia? You should have came to me straight away! I'm a girl so i can spoonfeed to you!
Paul: Too late now, but ill say it again. I LIKED HER but now she is dating Richard!
Lacey: Paul! You spoke without making a mistake!
Paul: Wait i did? Yes i dip i mean did!
Lacey: Wait, to speak properly, your motivation is Olivia. So pretend Olivia is proposing to you and you wouldn't mess that up right?
Paul: NO! Thanks Lacey!
Paul(CONF): I wanted to ask Lacey for an alliank i mean alliance but this is just as good!
Lacey(CONF): Poor kid.
Mnet: Londoya? What do you want?
Londoya: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Wyatt ditched me! WAAH!
Mnet: Well shut up and leave me alone before i hurt you. And there is a LOT of things to hurt you in my make up bag.
Londoya: Oh you don't get it!
Mnet: Oh please! Have you ever dated someone before? It's like a break up? Now SHUT UP! I need to do my mascara!
Londoya: No! I've never dated anyone bef- oh yeah that creepy girl. I broke up with her and ran for the hills.
Mnet: Oh well fine then. Will this cheer you up? (kisses Londoya on the lips, then hurls)
Londoya: Why did you do that?
Mnet: Cause you need to shut up! And- Londoya. I thought you could have been my partner.
Londoya: Oh really?
Mnet: See, i entered this thing so i could become a fashion designer, but then when i saw you, it was perfect! You know all the creative things i need to know? But now. Bye! Sorry!
Londoya: Oh whatever. All i ever wanted to be was Wyatts best friend. And he was like, my only friend, my family wants me to either focus on my academic career or my athletic career. So they ditch me. At school whenever I come in the school i get tomatoes thrown at me and get chased around by an angry mob in between every period.
Mnet: Oh, wow. Well Londoya i'm sorry.
Londoya: I only entered this show to prove that i meant something! And (sniff) it looks like i dont!
Mnet: Ok Londoya, you need to do something! You need to follow in the footsteps of my girl Nmet! She didn't care what anyone thought! Where is your art stuff? I am gonna make you over tomorrow!
Chris(on school communication system): Alright guys! Its time for the challenge! Meet me at my room pronto!
Chris: Alright, just 2 chapters back, you guys had a love challenge based on dating. Well this one is based on marriage! You have to basically prepare a wedding. 1 of your team members has to create a cake! We have a recipe in the mess hall! then 1 or 2 of you will focus of creating a wedding place and whoever is left has to deal with everything else. Cause why? I am getting married to Ms Gonzalez! Turns out she actually is single! So 3 of you will make the cake in the kitchen, Theodore will help with that! Owen will help 5 of you actually create a place and organise the whole thing. Then the remaining three, we called in the photographer, and the pastor and everything else that makes it official! But the remaining three are basically our servants! You will firstly go around Iqaluit and tell everyone about the wedding! THIS IS A BIG DAY FOR ME! In fact! The elimination will be tomorrow night! So don't screw up like normal! GO!
Attica(CONF): He made us do all of this! I don't believe it! This is enough work for a whole seasons worth of challenges!
(alright, you know this will take time so the positions the contestants got to do are literally picked now cause i dont have time to but Londoya, Brian and Lacey make food, Steph, Wyatt, Paul, Yasmine and Julia get us a place to actually do the wedding and Mnet, Richard and Attica are serving the wedding.)
Theodore: Alright so today we will follow a French recipe!
Brian: Oh alright Theodore.
Theodore: I dun't care! Alright! I don't trust Iqaluitians! Mrs Mc Lean (Ms Gonzalez) is so mean to me!
Londoya: Yeah yeah whatever can we get on with it now!
Lacey: Yep! I second that!
Theodore: Oh you pre- adult mayhem causers! Just make sure you have 85 grams of desiccated coconut, 400 milliliters of coconut milk, 1 cup of milk-
Theodore: 2 teaspoons of coconut essence, 375 grams of butter at room temparature-
Theodore: Speak when I tell you to speak troublemakers! 485 grams of caster sugar, 5 eggs, 565 grams of self raising flowers!
Lacey: Self raising flowers?
Theodore: Thats what the stupid card says! 450 milliliters of cream, 225 grams of coconut flakes and fresh flour, to decorate the thing!
Londoya: Check to all!
Steph: So, where would be a good location for the wedding?
Julia: Maybe in the school hall?
Wyatt: I guess that could work. Alright. This is the plan, i'll go into town and buy flowers and stuff! Yasmine you find chairs and set up chairs.
Yasmine: From where?
Wyatt: ANYWHERE LEGAL! Julia, go and set up the decorations when i get back! And in the mean time, help Paul to get Mrs Mc Lean a wedding dress?
Steph: How do you know she doesn't have one?
Wyatt: Also get a just married car.
Julia: FROM WHERE! IM NOT MADE OF MONEY!
Wyatt: Uh Julia, look behind you.
Julia: Why, is a(looks behind and sees a car)
Wyatt: Just get tinned cans and write Just Married on the back! Then Steph! Get a present for Chris and for Mrs Mc Lean!
Steph: Sure, whatever.
Wyatt: And quick guys! We need this wedding set up no-
Chris(on school communication system): And guess what! There will be an elimination! We will pick which team overall did worst and then you vote!
Wyatt: Oh no.
Attica: Alright, we need to door-knock the whole of Iqaluit!
Mnet: Sure thing. But first, who do we know is coming to the wedding?
Richard: Chris gave me a card, only Chris's cousin Jerd McLean can come and from Ms Gonzalez (to be Mrs McLane) Her Mother Jaclyn is coming. So yeah, we've got work to do.
Attica: Both Chris and Ms Gonzalez gave me a contact list of all the people they want at the wedding, with phone numbers and emails. So Mnet will email! I will phone and Richard is doing the doorknocking!
Richard: Oh come on! Why do i have to do the doorknocking!
Mnet: Cause you're not a girl! (Attica and Mnet laugh)
Attica: Ok, ill try to call Chris's mother. We will see what happens. (dials number) Hello?
Chris's Mother: Hello! Who is this, Chris, stop sending me pictures of your fake engagement!
Attica: Oh sorry, i am not Chris. I do call about him though.
Chris's Mother: Who are you?
Attica: .... We can talk later but uh can you come to Iqaluit!
Chris's Mother: NO! I don't have money!
Attica(CONF): I made this up, i need his mum to come!
Attica: I am a health insurance Agent, your son has been heavily injured in a car crash and we need you to come!
Chris's Mother: (gasp) Alright im on my way! (hangs up)
Mnet: Oh how i wish he got heavily injured in a car crash! Good job girl! Richard doesn't look so good though.
Richard(knocks on door): Hello?
Random Girl: YES!
Richard: Would you like to go to a wedding!
Random Girl: Oh eew! I am not marrying you!
Richard: No i mean to watch someone get married! They will kill you if you dont.
Random Girl: Pfft! Kill me! In the Female Canadian champion boxer and wrestler!
Richard: ;Well will you come?
Random Girl: Sure! If, you let me kill all the people there!
Richard:......Never mind, bye! (slams door and runs away)
Theodore: I preheated the oven! NOW WHAT! My glasses fell in the toilet!
Brian: Oh, thats nice sir.
Theodore: Sir! Do i look like a sir to you?
Londoya: Hehe, good one Theodore! Now, its time to get the coconut essence, coconut milk, the desiccated coconut and normal milk! The recipe says to combine it and then leave it for an hour. Also get the eggs, butter and caster sugar and use an electric beater to mix.
Lacey: Londoya! Slow down we need this cake to be perfect!
Londoya: Shut up and deal with it!
Lacey: Excuse me! (slaps Londoya while accidentally slapping the recipe into the electric beater, without anyone noticing)
Brian: Lacey! Londoya! Stop it! Now anyway, the menu says- hey? Where is the menu?
Theodore: Dang nabbit! If we lose that piece then we are dead!
Londoya: (gulp) From what i remember we pour the coconut mix into the electric beater and then put in the flour.
Theodore: Got it! (throws FLOWERS inside electric whisk) Wait? Did you say flour? Where are my hearing aids?
Lacey: YOU DID NOT PUT FLOWERS IN THE ELECTRIC WHISK! URGH! (accidentally turns whisk on)
Brian: Wait, are those your hearing aids?
Theodore: What, speak up sonny!
Brian: Are those your hearing aids? (shows mix of food. in electric whisk)
Theodore: We are so dead.
Lacey: (sigh) Understatement of the year. Alright! We have (looks at clock) 1 hour to make a cake! Brian, i know you are fast, go into town and see if you can find a cake mix. Buy 2! Then us three might try to make something! Quick! This is a wedding! NO TIME TO WASTE!
Brian: Ok, but before i go, you did notice the stores close in 20 minutes.
Londoya: Which is the reason to run, doofus.
Brian: Excuse me Londoya! Grr! Ok ill go! (runs out of mess hall)
Yasmine: Who thought carrying 100 chairs into the school hall would hurt this much! Ok, i need a break! (walks to Paul and screams)
Paul: What? Do you lick i mean like the wedding dress?
Yasmine: It's stained! Right there! Paul! Is it your fault?
Paul: Sorry, i used Londoya's kit without asking. Then i cut half of Mnet's dress.
Mnet: (from distance, screaming) YOU DID WHAT!
Paul: Yeah, well this is all we can use for now!
Yasmine: Oh this is horrible Paul! (Wyatt comes back with shopping bags)
Wyatt: Alright, Yasmine, whats happening?
Yasmine: We have good news and bad news. I am almost finished with the chairs, but uh Paul may or may not got a red stain on the wedding dress.
Wyatt: WHAT! Well we have like 50 minutes! Oh no i-im n-nervous! And im stuttering like i did before! Alright, how is Julia going with the car!
Julia: (walks by with dirt all over her) I got it done! We got a flat tire and i had to fix it!
Wyatt: At least something is working! Have any of you heard from Steph?
Steph: There is literally nothing here! Urgh! Nothing for a we- hang on! Thats great! (runs out of store and bumps into Brian)
Brian: Gah! Steph!
Steph: Sorry, but aren't you supposed to be cooking in the mess hall!
Brian: (sigh) Do you want the long story or the short one.
Steph: Short please.
Brian: A few misfortunes happened in the kitchen so i have to buy a cake mix. Actually 2, and right now!
Steph: Ok, well good luck, stores closing in 10 minutes.
Brian: Ok then, if there is 10 minutes, ive gotta run, bye Steph. (runs away)
Steph: Yep, ok, i need to get back to the school now.
Attica: Alright, 5 members of Ms Gonzalez and 4 members of Chris's family are coming. Thats 9 family members. Then you have 11 of us. So that is 20, Mnet, how many people have you got on email?
Mnet: None of his family members want to come but some stars do, Celine Dion, Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Cruise have all said yes!
Attica: Great, but thats 24. (gets a ring) Oh i need to answer this. Hello?
Richard: Its me Richard, i have 30 people coming.
Attica: Oh yay! Thats 54 overall.
Richard: Yeah and 3 of them well at least 2 we know of!
Attica: Really, who did you get!
Richard: I have 3 entire families of 6. I entire family of 5. 1 family of 4 and Eric-
Attica: Wait as in Eric, Eric? The one who got out firrst last season?
Richard: Yes. We also have Hannah-
Attica: Wait as in Hannah, Hannah? The one who got out first in season 1?
Richard: Yes Attica! Then we have, Wyatts Mum.
Attica: Wait as in Wyatt's mum, Wyatt's mum? The Wyatt's Mum who's son won, or technically filed a lawsuit to get a million dollars?
Richard: Yes? And if you see a huge blonde girl in wrestling gear- don't get on her bad side, she is the Canadian Female Wrestling Champion 3 years in a row!
Attica: Ok, ill try not to? Bye! (hangs up) Mnet, good news, we have 30 more people!
Mnet: Oh eek!
Attica: No need to eek now sister! Cause we need to do other stuff too!!
Attica: Help the othe-
Chris(on school communication system): SLACKERS! Are you nearly done! We have half an hour left you know! And Whoever has the wedding dress, take it to my room pronto!
Brian: (panting) I back! I probably ran faster than Usain Bolt but im back!
Lacey: Did you get 2?
Brian: I could only get one but how are you guys going?
Londoya: Horribly. We make another sucktacular mix and Lacey wants in to make the mix for that and put the two together.
Theodore: Just do it! We have 25 minutes!
Brian: WHAT! Fine, (makes mixture and pours it into other mixture)
Londoya: Lets see how disgusting this thing tastes! (puts it in oven)
Brian: And Lone-doya? Whats up with you? You seem upset!
Londoya: (sigh) Don't talk about it.
Lacey: Wyatt said he practically hated Londoya last time.
Brian: Uh? Alright, this is weird! Londoya- wait whats going on in the oven?
Theodore: Its been 2 minutes and its already cooked! (takes it out of oven) Good, it is ready!
Lacey: Knew my plan will work!
Londoya: Thats great, i guess. (sigh)
Brian: Ok, well we need it to cool down!
Theodore: No we can't we need to take it into the hall now!
Lacey: I'll do it! (carries cake to the hall)
Brian: Wow she is something.
Londoya: Ha! Do you like her?
Brian: What? No i she i- (Blushes), well uh lets go to the hall! Incase they need help!
Londoya: Wow this place looks great- wait- where is Paul? I thought he was working with you.
Paul: (walks in hall) Im bash i mean back guys! What has changed!
Julia: We managed to put in all the decorations? It looks like a place fit for a wedding!
Wyatt: Yeah, good job guys!
Steph: (runs in hall) Hey, i thought of a great present we could do?
Steph: Ok, in the small shops that i went to, i found nothing for a wedding! [at least of one in the 21st Century] So why don't we make a song instead?
Paul: But i sang when Olivia went home though?
Steph: Still? We have to! Then we record it, do a bit of animation and whalla!
Richard(walks in hall with 54 guests) Hello! These are the guests for the wedding!
Random Kid: This is a wedding? I thought you were taking my to the candy factory!
Random Mother: I thought you were taking me to a restuarant!
Eric: Oh shut up! I didn't get any food for 12 days! So take what you get!
Wyatt: ERIC! Is that you!
Eric: Oh hi Wyatt! Hi everybody!
Julia: Hi Er- oh no, is that...
Hannah: Haha! Hi guys! Nice to see you again!
Everyone: (reluctantly) Hi Hannah-
Steph: Alright! No time for decorations! We have a song to work on!
Attica/Mnet(walk in): What song?
Pastor: Do you Chris Robert Mc Lean take Maria Gonzalez to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Chris: (gulp) I do! (kisses Ms Gonzalez, i mean Mrs McLean)
Pastor: Alright! Congratulations, now in the name of love-
Random Man: Lets get to the dance floor dude!
Pastor: Whats "dude"?
Attica: Just go to the dance floor sir.
Theodore: Congratulations kiddo.
Chris: Thanks, Theodore, hey i was wondering-
Theodore: Is this about the honeymovie?
Chris: Honeymoon, we are going to Hawaii?
Theodore: Really, thats great!
Chris: So i was wondering, could you do challenges for the kid. And also, i have to give you this note, it shows which team i think did worst in the challenge!
Ms McLean: Hey Chris great party! Anyway, we've got to dance soon! But this cake is soooooooo good!
Theodore: Oh yeah, we worked hard on it! (winks at Lacey, Londoya and Brian)
Brian: Seems like they actually LIKE the cake!
Lacey: Of course they'd like it! It was my idea, remember!
Londoya: Yeah whatever.
Julia: What are you guys talking about!
Lacey: Heh, absolutely nothing!
Julia: (raises eyebrow) Ok then!
Some Random Guy: Now for the first time as a couple, welcome in Chris and Maria McLean! They will dance to a special song? Ok?
(after the song)
Chris: Alright, time for the grand exit! (the two leave in the just married car)
Theodore: Ok! Now! If you are a contestant on this Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit! Stay! If not! GO!
Wyatt's Mum: But! I need to talk to Wyatt!
Wyatt: Mum? You're ok! (hugs her)
Theodore: I SAID MOVE IT!
Wyatt: (sniff) Go to NorthMart! You'll see a good surprise!
Wyatt's Mum: Ok! If you insist! (leaves with the rest of non competitors!)
Theodore: Shoo! Move it! Good, they are gone! Now, i have the sad say, but Chris gave me a letter saying which team he thought did worst! And also, the winners get immunity for next challenge! Which means they are in the merge!
Theodore: Oww! What? Without my hearing aids im as deaf as a dung beetle! But anyway, the team that placed second, key word SECOND, is
Attica: Good job girls! We may not have immunity! But no one is going home!
Theodore: And the team that WON the challenge is? Team Borpy! Congrats! You've all made merge!
Brian: Really? Really! Yes!
Richard: Alright! Ill take that!
Yasmine: Haha! Yesterday Flo gets out, and today THIS happens! Woo!
Paul: Whats the merge?
Theodore: So Team 1st Place, you are last place! Now, go and discuss who you are voting before! You have 10 minutes!
Wyatt: Steph, i know your voting for Londoya.
Steph: Duh, he is so annoying. Aren't you?
Wyatt: No, i think im gonna vote Mnet.
Steph: What? You are gonna save Londoya? Why?
Wyatt: Even though i said what i meant, i felt like i didn't say it properly, so i need the extra chance to. Do you forgive me?
Steph: As long as you let me vote him, fine.
Wyatt: Alright, now i need to make sure Mnet doesn't vote him. I want her to vote me.
Steph: Why you?
Wyatt: If you are voting him, and she votes him, there will be 2 votes for Londoya which could send him packing. And i wont let her vote you. So that leaves me.
Steph: No wait, i'll vote for myself. I don't want you to get a vote.
Wyatt: Really, thanks Steph! I need to talk to Mnet now! Bye and thanks! But still, that way i still get her a vote. Unless..
Wyatt: Mnet, can you vote for yourself?
Mnet: Why would i do that?
Wyatt: Sorry but i need you to. It's the only way you will stay safe!
Mnet: How will voting for myself make me safe?
Wyatt: Londoya is voting you, i convinced Steph not to. But we can vote for the distracted Londoya and in a tiebraker, he wont stand a chance?
Mnet: He wouldn't but still, why?
Wyatt: I'll give you 100,000 dollars if you get eliminated and do it.
Mnet: I'm in! Eek! Im gonna travel around the world! Eeeek!
Theodore: Alright whippersnappers! Go into the booth thing and vote!
Londoya(CONF): FINALLY! I've dreamed about this night for ages!
Mnet(CONF): Sorry, but a 100 thousand! I vote myself with pride! And who knows if ill get out!
Steph(CONF): I guess, i'd love to vote for a certain SOMEONE but i'll do the right thing.
Wyatt(CONF): I've change my mind about my vote.
Theodore: Alright we had a 2-1-1 vote. And the only person who didn't get a vote was Londoya. Good job kiddo. (throws pencil) Oww! My elbows! Anyway, also safe is Mn- Nm- Mneet? (Mnet grabs pencil)
Mnet: Yes, i'm safe! Eeeek!
Theodore: Oh ok, two best friends, 1 will get eliminated. The person safe is?
Londoya(CONF): I don't care who it is. At this point, as long as it isn't me.
Wyatt! Sorry my but you are going!
Steph: Oh man!
Mnet: WHAT! But it should have been at least a 2-2 tie with Me, oh Wyatt! WHO DID YOU VOTE!
Mnet: WHAT GRR! IF YOU DIDN'T I COULD HAVE GOTTEN $100,000!
Wyatt: I am getting punished for my generosity!
Londoya: Bye, bye Stephy boy. We will surely enjoy you not being around?
Wyatt: Londoya? Whats happened to you? SHUT UP EITHER WAY! Steph voted for himself! And now, GRRR! Bye Steph! (hugs him) I am going to tell everyone at Iqaluit about how rude you are! Bye! (walks away)
Steph: Oh man! (Sigh)
Theodore: Any last words?
Steph: Thanks Theodore, you're a great person. And good luck to Wyatt, Attica, and everyone else! Except Londoya!
Attica: Steph! Oh no! Im so sorry we didn't get more time with each other! (kisses him)
Steph: Well, thanks! Kick everyones butt! .. except Wyatt's.
Theodore: Sorry Steph, but i think you've had enough time. Bye kiddo!
Steph: Bye guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuys! (floats away)
Attica: Oh man! Well now i've gotta win for him!
Theodore: Brian, Yasmine, Paul, Richard, Wyatt, Mnet, Londoya, Attica, Julia and Lacey are left! Who won't make the merge? Find out on Total Drama: Life of- eh i don't care bye!
(P.S. This took me the most amount of time any episode has so thank you for reading)
Chapter 10: Hawaii Time
Theodore: Last time on Total Drama, we had a wedding. Oh boy, do i have to read this! Urgh! Anyway, Richard got himself into more trouble, we found more about Londoya's story and in the stupid challenge! The now Mc LAMES got married yesterday and those youngins had to set it up? In my world, if you are under 25 you are a troublemaker! TROUBLE WILL COME UPON YOU! But we even after some youth problems did it! And if you didn't guess from the title, Chris and Maria are in that Hawiwi place! So i will host until they come back, what twists will i add to this horrible game? Who won't make that merge thing? Find out on- ok im going now! (leaves camera)
Paul: Hi Julia!
Julia: Hi, i guess? I don't think we've ever talked, so don't act like we are best friends.
Paul: Sheesh, just trying to be nick i mean nice.
Julia: Ok fine, whatever. How does it feel making the merge? Cause i think i can survive one more challenge.
Paul: Whats the mug? Isn't that like a cut i mean cup?
Julia: (sigh) You know how we are in teams right now, when half the cast gets eliminated then we merge. Understand now?
Paul: Oh, so can we like talk to each udder i mean other?
Julia: I guess, why not. Attica is with Steph and she is like my only friend. (sigh)
Paul: Who said this? What about Wyatt? What about MIA, i mean me! Paul?
Julia: Like i said before, just because we talked once doesn't mean you are best friends. (saying proudly) But, i did come second so do you need any advice?
Paul: No, i think i'll be fined i mean fine bird i mean but what i really want to know is, how do you and Brett connect so well?
Julia: Why, are you jealous or something?
Paul: No-no no! Tatally not i mean totally no-
Julia: Sorry Paul, actually? NO! Im not sorry! I'll never date you! (runs away)
Paul: Sheet! I mean Sheesh.
Lacey: Oh hi Attica, so you ready for today's challenge?
Attica: (sigh) Yeah, don';t remind me.
Lacey: Oh sorry! But what do you mean?
Attica: If we lose todays challenge, i have to vote for either Julia or YOU! And thats too tough for me!
Lacey: Don't worry about cause we aren't going to lose!
Attica: You don't know that. Wyatt actually is good at challenges, besides, Londoya is super motivated and Mnet is athletic to keep in shape.
Lacey: Well look at us! Julia was a finalist and literally got her team the very first win of the whole series, then i guess i can throw a punch and YOU! YOU have to fight for Steph. He did it for you last season, so return the favour!
Lacey: NO! Not whatever, say yeah!
Attica: Look Lacey, how would you feel if Brian got out, you wouldn't be happy?
Lacey: Excuse, me (sigh) Yeah i would, but don't stop fighting for him!
Attica: You are right, im sorry Lacey. Bu-(Paul walks in, crying) Paul? What happened to you?
Paul: (sniff) Jelia i mean Julia, was mean to me and i don't know why!
Lacey: Paul, speak properly. Picture Olivia!
Paul: Don't even say har i mean her name! Anyway just thought i'd tell you! Byezeers. (sniffs and walks away)
Lacey: Why is Julia so mean! OK you know what! I am sick of her! If we lose tonight, vote her off!
Lacey: Yes darling?
Attica: Darling? You're not my mother! But what happened to "we aren't gonna lose"?
Lacey: Just go with the plan, if we lose, vote her! I know you're friends but to win eventually Julia had to go home! So deal?
Attica: (sigh) Fine.
Lacey: Great! Bye! (walks away)
Attica(CONF): Why me! So now i've gotta choose between Julia and Lacey! But they are my girls! I can trust Julia more since we have history, but what Paul said makes this a harder decision!
Yasmine: Richard. We made merge.
Richard: We? You got a target on MY back!
Yasmine: Oh yeah, ok. But Richard i did it because Brian told me to!
Richard: What! He did?
Yasmine: Yeah, to get a target on your back! So, anyway, now we need to talk strategy-(Brian walks in)
Brian: Hello beautiful lady!
Yasmine: I know im beautiful, but why are you being nice to me?
Brian: Cause you are pretty! (blow kisses)
Yasmine: Excuse me? What are you doing!
Brian: Ok, i can't keep it in any more! Im in love with you!
Yasmine: What? (barfs on Richard)
Richard: Gee, thanks.
Yasmine: If you haven't forgotten, i can read minds and i can tell that you are lying.
Brian: Oh whatever Yasmine! You deserve to! You told Richard to leave my alliance!
Richard: Wait, no- don't
Yasmine: Whatever! You are a sicko! You made me say i was dating Richard!
Brian: WHAT! That's not true!
Yasmine: You want to know what else isn't true! The fact that i made Richard break your alliance! Grr! (slaps Brian)
Brian: (barfs on Yasmine)
Richard: Ok, this is the part when i run! Heh bye! (runs away)
Wyatt(CONF): So, Steph went home last night, my last ally. And i'm pretty sure Londoya and Mnet are friend-ish now. I need to win todays challenge!
Wyatt: Hey Mnet, what are you doing?
Mnet: The reason why i entered this show is so i could win money for my small business. "Mnet it or not".
Wyatt: So all this clothing in the room is?
Mnet: Is some of the styles, its a clothing business.
Wyatt(CONF): (sarcastically) Geez, i'm so surprised.
Wyatt: Alright, i know merge is coming soo how about a pact.
Mnet: Why should i join forces with you.
Wyatt: I'll give you 3 words, money and business-
Wyatt: Man, that was quick!
Mnet: But first! Give it a name! I name EVERYTHING!
Wyatt: Uh, fine. What about-
Mnet: The golden Mnets? Ooh! How about the Retail Relievers?
Wyatt: Maybe something light like the Duo Pact.
Mnet: Eww. Nothing about me? Not even anything about fashion! Nasty!
Wyatt: (sigh) Am i going to get anywhere with this? Fine, we are the golden Mnets.
Mnet: Eeek! Thanks for the excellent name suggestion! Im so happy you thought of me!
Theodore(on school communication system): How does this darn thing work! Oh you stupid 21st century gadgets. Anyway, Team Borpy or whatever you call yourselves. You can stay seated! Team Female and Team 1st Place? Meet me at the meeting area now! Ugh, im too old for this.
Theodore: Remember that Chris and his disgusting wife Ms McLane are now on their honeymoon. So todays challenge is for you guys, to make me feel loved! You have 2 hours to make me a meal, then make a little act for me! Oh and the interns are going to record it. I would but your stupid devices are too complicated.
Julia: Wait? Aren't the interns on a rebel mission against you three hosts?
Attica: Uh yeah, there is their rebel flag.
Theodore: But what did i do! GRRR! Thats it! New challenge! Use these toy guns to shoot them down! Call this challenge, The Honeymoon Haters!
Theodore: Do! It! Because if they can take control of this school! I'll get fired! And then i'll have no money!
Lacey: Doesn't the government of Canada fund you?
Theodore: NO! They think i am faking my age so they don't let me! Now shut up you youngins and skaddadle!
Wyatt: How are we supposed to do this?
Londoya: I don't know, Whine-att.
Mnet: Shut up guys! And I have an idea!
Mnet: Look, according to my fashion stats, looking brave is so on trend!
Londoya: Yeah, so?
Mnet: I think i saw all of them hiding inside Chris's bedroom. So, act like we are policemen and we are coming to arrest her!
Londoya: Congrats, you actually have a brain! Wyatt, you should learn from her!
Wyatt: Hmph, i heard getting your head hit gets rid of brain cells, lets hope it gets rid of egos too. (slaps Londoya)
Mnet: Guys! Focus! I know Londoya and I have skills with making clothes, so Wyatt! You make sure the interns don't escape while we get our costumes ready!
Wyatt(CONF): First she's nice... ish to me! Now she acts like that! Wow, well now i need to stop these interns from doing any worse.
Chris(on phone): Hello Theodore?
Theodore(on phone): Yes Chris McLean?
Chris(on phone): Just called to see how you are going!
Theodore(on phone): Oh! Things are great!
Interns(in background): CHRIS IS GOING DOWN! AND SO IS HIS BEDROOM!
Chris(on phone): What was that Theodore?
Theodore(on phone): What was what? (nervously)
Chris(on phone): What was that sound in the background!
Theodore(on phone): Oh that was- uh- a video i am watching while the loser contestants do the challenge!
Chris(on phone): Hmm, i believe you. But if i hear anything more than you are fired! Understand! (hangs up)
Theodore: That was close. Phew!
Julia: (knocking at Chris's bedroom) Open up! You are surrounded! Leave the area!
Lacey(whispers to Attica): She'd be great in the FBI. (laughs)
Attica: (to Lacey) Yeah very funny. Haha. But i think i know a way in!
Julia: (still knocking at door) What?
Attica: Julia! Do you see that crack at the ceiling?
Julia: Oh yeah- wait you don't mean!
Lacey: She does! Julia! Do you want to merge or do you want to go home!
Julia: I want to merge but im scared for my life of heights!
Attica: YOU! Scared of heights! Well here is some motivation, think of a guy. He has black hair and a blue shirt. He is very bulky and tall, he got out third this time and his name begins with a B.
Julia: (sigh) Brett. But i can't! The ladder is too scary!
Lacey: Did i mention that i kissed him-
Julia: What! Oh they are going down! And so are you! (climbs ladder)
Attica: Did you actually kiss Brett?
Lacey: Nah, i said that to get her up the ladder.
Attica: Good plan! Except for the fact that Julia is going to kill you when we win the challenge!
Lacey: It doesn't matter cause we are going to vote her out if we lose anyway! Right Attica?
Attica: Oh, heh yeah! Totally!
Attica(CONF): Now that i think about it, being in an extremely safe position is worse than being vulnerable! I love Julia but Lacey is great too! Urgh!
Mnet: Oh no, we cant wear that.
Londoya: Why not! I spent nearly 4 hours making police costumes!
Mnet: I'll tell you why i wont wear it. It's a fashion cliche! Remember we are on TV!
Wyatt: Mnet, its that or we can lose this challenge.
Londoya: Meh, i'll vote Wyatt anyway.
Wyatt: (rolls eyes) Whatever. Please Mnet?
Mnet: No. Why do we need to put them on anyway! It's not like they will see us.
Londoya: Because, when they come out and see 3 normal teenagers-
Mnet: You mean 2 normal teenagers and 1 hot teenager.
Londoya: Thats not the point! If they see us in regular clothing they'll think it's a trick! If we wear the police stuff then they will see it and continue running!
Mnet: Ok! Fine Smarty pants! I will wear it. EDITORS! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME! CROP ME OUT OF THE VIDEO WHEN I'M IN MY uh new style! DID YOU HEAR ME! (breaks camera screen)
Wyatt: Oh please its not even that embarrassing!
Theodore: Those darn contestants better be finished now. Lets see how this works. (on megaphone) HURRY UP! IF CHRIS FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS! YOU'LL ALL BR DISQUALIFIED!
Brian: (mumbles) Heres your stupid Black Raspberry Vanilla Smoothie-
Yasmine: With your golden pillow on a king sized bed.
Richard: Do you want anything else?
Theodore: If you could get me a chair that would be great.
Richard: Ugh. Fine.
Richard(CONF): Alright, Team Borpy was having a celebration party last night. But we were so loud we woke up Theodore and he got only 2 hours of sleep even though he usually has 12 hours. Theodore was so angry at us he made all of us his personal servants until the challenge ended. So now we are slaves! Awesome...
Paul: Theodore, do you like your original copy of the World War 1 battles? Which cost me 200 i mean 2000 dollars! On a 95 percent olive i mean off sale?
Theodore: Its great- but I asked for World War 2, not 1.
Paul: So you want me to binge i mean buy you another one?
Theodore: (nods head) Oh and also i need the 3,000 dollar photo of the Atomic bomb in Nagasaki. That was a disaster!
Julia: Can you rebels hear me! GET OUT OF THE BUILDING!
Attica: Lacey this is your fault.
Lacey: Sorry! I didn't think she would go into town and buy an electric drill!
Julia: (On top of Chris's bedroom) YOU ARE GOING DOW- (trips and falls of building)
Attica: Oh my gumdrops!
Lacey: JULIA! Are you ok!
Julia: (throbbing head) Aww. Yeah, i'm fine. Except that i think i have a huge bump on my head and im bleeding!
Attica: Oh dear! I always carry my stuff with me. I have a bandage and i have some medical foam!
Lacey: Julia. Do you want me to call Theodore?
Julia: Uh yeah. Oww.
(a few minutes later)
Theodore: JULIA! Do you need any first aid?
Julia: Yeah. That would be cool. I think im also bleeding on my leg.
Theodore: I have a question. Will you need to be evacuated from here to hospital?
Theodore: But if you do, you are eliminated and you have no chance of getting the 2 million dollars.
Julia: Actually? NO! I am a fighter and i won't quit cause of an injury!
Lacey: Are you sure?
Attica: We are behind the decision you make.
Julia: No seriously, ill stay and compete.
Theodore: Alright, pack up the gear boys!
Julia: What! You said you would give me basic treatment!
Theodore: Too bad, bye! (leaves)
Mnet: So we are doing this?
Wyatt: Londoya, you do the voice. You sound the scariest here.
Londoya: I'll only do it cause you are right! (coughs) GET OUT OF THE ROOM! THIS IS SECURITY! GET OUT NOW!
Anti Chris People: NEVER! NOT UNTIL YOU GIVE US RESPECT!
Londoya: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT! (makes police siren sound)
Anti Chris People: Uh oh. Its the police. (shouts) FINE! WE WILL LEAVE THE BUILDING IF YOU DONT GET US IN TROUBLE!(people run out of room)
Wyatt: The plan wasnt so bad i guess! But now we've got to tell Theodore!
Londoya: Theodore! We got them to stop!
Theodore: Good job kiddo! You aren't going to elimination!
Team Borpy: YES!
Theodore(On school communication system): Team Female! If you can hear this! You are going to elimination! You have 10 minutes to mingle starting now!
Julia: I fell off a building! FOR NOTHING!
Lacey: Sad but true my friend. To cheer you up i actually didn't kiss Brett. I motivated you by saying that!
Julia: Whatever. Aww!
Julia: Hi Attica, i just taught myself to stand up and walk. I just wanna know, after that fall i've noticed how crazy i am.
Attica: You are not crazy. It's just that you are passionate!
Julia: No, i am crazy. But i want to change. And i know who i am voting tonight.
Attica: Well i can guarantee i am not voting you.
Attica(CONF): I"m inspired by Julia. She's injured and still continues in the game! I cant vote her out! Lacey is great but Julia and I have the history!
Lacey: Hey Attica.
Attica: Oh. Hi Lacey!
Lacey: Just making sure you know i wont vote you!
Attica: Oh uh- same here!
Lacey: Great! See you at elimination!
Theodore: Girls, welcome to emilination.
Attica: You mean elimination.
Theodore: Whatever and if you didn't figure it out, next week is merge which is why all the other surviving people are coming!
(Team Borpy and Team 1st Place come)
Theodore: Go vote!
Julia(CONF): This was a very tough decision.
Lacey(CONF): Sorry but at certain points we vote out our friends. Besides, you are injured.
Attica(CONF): I think this was the toughest decision i have ever made.
Theodore: Alright Attica! You are safe without a vote! But in a 2-1 the person leaving is-
JULIA! Sorry! But you are done!
Attica: What! But i voted for Lacey! Am Lacey im sorry about that.
Julia: I voted for myself thats why.
Lacey: Why? But seriously why!
Julia: Cause I deserve to go home way more than you Lacey. And i'll never ever vote Attica!
Lacey/Attica: Bu- (cries)
Julia: Its ok! Now fight on!
Theodore: Now wasn't that emotional! But before we send Julia packing. All you mergers go talk in the confessional!
Attica(CONF): Wooh! My second merge! Hopefully this time i win!
Brian(CONF): I was a saint in the pre-merge. Now the real game begins!
Lacey(CONF): Julia is so brave! I have to make it up to her!
Londoya(CONF): Alright! My first merge! Now, to kill Wyatt!
Mnet(CONF): Eek! Yes! One step closer to the money!
Paul(CONF): What am i doing here again?
Richard(CONF): This time, i will win. For Olivia! But i have no idea how ill win.
Wyatt(CONF): How am i still in this game? I dont really care since i won. But i have to make it up to Londoya!
Yasmine(CONF): Good! Now to cheat, steal and lie my way to the million!
Theodore: 9 left. Time to merge. Who will win! Find out next time on Total Drama! Life of My-cow-wits or whatever.
Chapter 11: The Merge! (and stuff)
Theodore: Isaac. The chill youngin. Eliminated because of outspill. Undulen, the musical youngin. Eliminated because everyone hates him. Brett, the athletic youngin. Eliminated cause he went crazy. Daisy, the sassy youngin. Disqualified for leaving the school grounds. Nmet, the lonely youngin. Eliminated because of bossiness. Olivia, the normal youngin. Eliminated because of previous drama. Flo, the devious youngin. Eliminated because of tiebreaker. Steph(sniff), the good youngin. Eliminated because he voted himself to safe Wyatt. And Julia, the uh, um. The passionate, eliminated part because of injury and part because she went crazy. Now, we are down to nine. Mnet, Wyatt, Londoya, Paul, Yasmine, Brian, Richard, Attica and Lacey are left. Who will be our first post-merge boot on Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit!
Mnet: (yawns) All alone in the girls cabin. So peaceful!
Mnet(CONF): Today was going to be a normal day. Well, thats what i thought, until i remembered. Its merge! EEEEK!
Mnet: Oh my gosh! I made merge! I made merge! I- oh my gosh. I have to eat to stop being so excited! Eeek! (walks to mess hall) Oh, hi Londoya.
Londoya: Oh, hi. I guess.
Mnet: Why is there so much food on the table. And the food is- normal!
Theodore: (in kitchen) Yep! Now that stupid lady isn't here. I can cook normal breakfast like-
Londoya: Toast, pancakes, sausages and cereal.
Mnet: All that food! I can't believe this! I am sick of eating whale blubber and, stuff! It makes me sick!
Londoya: Well, now that we are here by ourselves. I was wondering if you could break your alliance with Wyatt and join me? Maybe?
Mnet: And who said you can decide who i align with.
Londoya: If you don't, than i'll vote you out at every elimination until you go home!
Mnet: Too bad cause you'll go home first. (Shoves toast in Londoyas face and leaves mess hall)
Londoya: Great. (Yasmine walks in)
Yasmine: Wow Londoya! That was brave of you!
Londoya: It was? I mean, oh yeah. It was.
Yasmine: So if you really want Mnet out, than join forces with me!
Londoya: Yeah, i want Mnet out but after Wyatt.
Yasmine: Alright! Then join RAY.
Londoya: Whats RAY?
Yasmine: Its an alliance, R for Richard. A for Attica and Y for Yasmine.
Londoya: Fine, i'll join.
Yasmine: Ok! I think i can see Richard and Attica coming now! (Richard and Attica walk in)
Attica: (sarcastically) Yay. This alliance will take over the competition.
Richard: But RAY doesn't work as a name anymore. So what about LARY.
Yasmine: Ok. Go LARY! But since he is new, Londoya gets to decide who to vote for tonight.
Attica/Richard: Ugh. No fair!
Yasmine: Hush! Don't be rude to the new guy!
Brian: Hey Lacey, so you know that us two have an alliance.
Lacey: Yeah, but who is "us two?"
Brian: Me and Paul.
Paul: Hoo, i mean hi.
Lacey: Oh, hi Paul. How is your English going? (clearly sounds surprised)
Brian: Well why don't us three merge to create.... BRACEL!
Paul: Oh sure! Whats BRACEL?
Brian: Its our newest alliance, BR for Brian, ACE for Lacey and L for Paul.
Lacey: Oh i guess so! But why do we even need a name?
Brian: Well unless you wanna start creating our anthem than listen to me!
Lacey(CONF): Thats the rudest he has ever been to me! I am insulted!
Lacey: (rolls eyes)
Brian: The main reason why this alliance is being created is because, we are on a mission.
Paul: Yes we are sar i mean sir! (salutes)
Lacey: Oh, brother.
Brian: Yasmine has her little alliance and we will not let her dominated! We will beat them! They will beg! They will cry! And what will we do? We will ELIMINATE!
Paul: Oh good jeb i mean job master!
Lacey: Brian, stop acting like that. You aren't some famous new president.
Wyatt: (yawns) Another single digit placement for me. (someone walks in)
Inuit 1: Hello. My name is Inuit 1. Well its actually Keith but thats not the point. You are one of those total drama contestants aren't you?
Wyatt: Yeah, but why are you here?
Inuit 1: Cause your competiton has got to end.
Wyatt: But why?
Inuit 1: I am the mayor of this town, i known i should have told you this earlier but i am trying to say that your competition is an ICEBRAKER!
Inuit 1: Yes! An icebraker. Cause it breaks ice! You also have been running all over the town acting like there arent any people who are missing school because of you. Some people are supposed to be taking our final exams now but if you stay in this school for much longer? The ice below the school buildings will break again and that will effect the whole town! Besides, we have people next to us complaining all the time you guys are too loud! So you have until the end of this month and there is only 17 days left! So on the last night of September we will check and if you are still there! We release the polar bears.
Wyatt: What will they do to us?
Inuit 1: Nothing pretty-
Theodore:(on school communication system) Hurry up and get to the school exit NOWW!
Inuit 1: I hope you make the right choice.
Theodore: The 9 of you are merged if you have forgotten.
All 9: Woohoo! Yeah!
Theodore: Todays challenge is based on the struggle of birth. So, if you can see those vehicles over there. You will pick one and drive to thee hospital. If something happens to you on the way, you have to walk! And each grab a map some lead you the way faster than others. We have a car, a motorbike, a go-kart, a bike, a scooter, a skateboard, shoes that make you walk really fast, and 2 pairs of skis which help with the Arctic climate. So grab what you get and go!
(Attica gets go kart, Brian gets skis, Lacey gets car, Londoya gets bike, Mnet gets skis, Paul gets skateboard, Richard gets motorbike, Wyatt gets scooter and Yasmine gets the fast shoes)
Theodore: On you marks, get set GO!
Brian: Woohoo i am in the lead!
Yasmine: (right behind Brian) Not for long! Our alliance will trump yours!
Brian: It will not!
Yasmine: Yes it will and guess what, i distracted you and you are about to slam into a tree! (Yasmine takes the lead)
Brian: URGH! YASMINE(slams into tree)
Attica: Ok, i am in last cause the wheel on this stupid thing is broken. Time to fix it!
Inuit 1: (comes next to Attica) Hello, you are breaking the earth with that motor. take our premium train which didn't have any animals killed in the making.
Attica: Sure, anything to get off this stuipid go kart-
Wyatt: Woohoo! Second place! But i can't see Yasmine anywhere-
Londoya: Well hello Whine-att.
Wyatt: Ok shut up. When do i ever whine?
Londoya: Doesn't matter. I am going to make sure you don't get immunity.
Wyatt: Look, Londoya, remember the wedding challenge?
Londoya: Yeah what about it, and hurry up i donn't want to fall behind.
Wyatt: We lost that challenge, you could have went home but i voted for myself instead of you. The only reason why Steph went home is because i accidentally told Mnet to vote Steph when i meant for her to vote me.
Londoya: So you saved me- but why?
Wyatt: Cause i wanted to prove something to you- but i take that back. You've been a diva just cause i said we aren't friends.
Londoya: Wyatt, i-i did-didn't kno-
Wyatt: Whatever, you probably don't care, time to get immunity! (scoots off)
Londoya: Oh man, i need to make sure no one votes him, ive been so stupid this whole time! Urgh! (rides his bike in the opposite direction)
Richard: Ok, i think this map is just taking me through a ton of twists and turns, so what if i just keep on going straight. From this point on the map- to this point. Ok we- (Paul skates in)
Paul: Hi Richard!
Richard: Hi Paul, i guess.
Paul: I was just yinking i mean thinking, why don't you give Olivia to me?
Richard: (gets angry) Why would i do that?
Paul: Well i know its rude, but i've had a crump i mean crush on Olivia nearly since i've met her, you just got with her!
Richard: EXCUSE ME! (grabs icicle from tree and throws it) IT DOESNT MATTER WHO LIKED HER FIRST! (drives off)
Paul: Ugh! I didn't know he would be so upsit i mean upset about it.
Mnet: Great! Why did i get skis! I don't even know how to ski!
Lacey: (drives in) Wow you are really having trouble.
Mnet: Yeah you think.
Lacey: Well since i actually do know how to ski, and i am horrible at driving. Do you want to switch?
Mnet: Shut up!
Lacey: By saying shut up, did you mean that badly or with good intentions.
Mnet: With good intentions. Thank you so much! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
Lacey: Oww, my ears. But Mnet. You have to do this on one condition.
Lacey: I have 3 ideas of who to vote tonight. I'll think about whats best for my game but you have to vote with me tonight!
Mnet: Of course! I kinda am teamed with Wyatt and Londoya but i think they both forgot about that.
Lacey: Well good luck! (skis off)
Mnet: (drives off)
Theodore: Oooh! I hope you're enjoying this interns!
Intern: Yep, cause i just love massaging your foot. It feels like an eel.
Stylist: And i love waxing your (barfs) chest hair, are you sure you aren't part gorilla?
Theodore: Excuse me! You know i can get you fired for saying that! Anyway, lets see where everyone is? Oh, so Yasmine is in the lead, but Mnet has gotten close as well as Paul. Londoya is now in last place, with Brian just ahead of him. Wait, where is Attica on this thing?
(On the train)
Inuit 2: Ugh, the Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit thing is a disaster for Iqaluit.
Inuit 3: Oh i know! But i think Sven got it over with.
Inuit 2: Sven?
Inuit 3: You know, the mayor. And apparently. We are allowed to kill them with polar bears if they don't finish up by the end of the month.
Inuit 2: Good! About time!
Attica: (to herself) Oh my...
Inuit 3: Oh well looks like here is the stop for the Nunavut State Hospital. (probably doesn't exist)
Attica: Oh my gosh! Thats my stop! (leaves train)
Londoya: According to this, i am getting closer. But my legs are so tire-(Brian skis in)
Brian: Oh! Hi Londoya!
Brian: Why are you stopping here?
Londoya: Cause i can't let anyone let Wyatt lose. Can you and your allies not vote for him tonight?
Brian: Sure, if you join our alliance then we will not vote him.
Londoya: But im already in an-
Brian: Great! I just knew you were my man! Bye Londoya! (skis off)
Londoya: (gulp) Great.
Yasmine: Yes! There is the hospital! Woohoo!
Mnet:(comes out of nowhere) Too bad that you won't be winning!
Yasmine: Oh sorry Mnet! I'll make sure i tell you what its like to have immunity after i win the whole game!
Attica: (runs ahead of Yasmine and Mnet) Neither of you two are going to win cause it will be me!
Mnet: Wait, theres the hospital!
Yasmine: Attica, tired cause these shoes could make me run all day. And i'll get ARYL immunity!
Attica: No, you won't. I will! (starts to get a lead)
Mnet(CONF): I was starting to think that i couldn't do it, but then i thought all the lip gloss in the world, then i (sniff) saw my dying mother. I need the money to get her to hospital but our family is so poor we can't afford surgery. That got me.
Mnet: (drives faster than speed limit) I DONT CARE IF I GET ARRESTED! GAH!
Richard: Ok, i think i hit a dead end. (looks at cliff while Wyatt comes in)
Wyatt: Oh hi Richard, i think we are dead though.
Wyatt: Turn around.
Richard: (Richard turns around to see a family for polar bears who looked hungry)
Wyatt: To where!
Richard: Ok, im going to jump. (jumps off cliff)
Wyatt: I thought Richard could have thought of some logical plan to survive. But whatever. (jumps of cliff)
Yasmine: Yes! II have to be at least half a mile ahead of those other two! I can see Theodores camera from here! (trips over) Oww! Seriously! Now i have to fall over! NOW!
Mnet: (passes Yasmine) Ha! Sorry not sorry! But this is mine to win!
Attica: Uh i think you forgot about me! (passes Yasmine and Mnet)
Mnet: No! I will not let you wi-
Paul: (comes in out of nowhere) How do i steep i mean steer this thing! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (slams into hospital wall) Oww!
Theodore: (on camera) Ooh my skin is baby smooth! Oh anyway! Congrats on making it to the hospital! You have won immunity!
Paul: Woohoo! I have immunity!
Richard: We are going to die in this stupid pit!
Wyatt: A rope? Where did that come from, and it leads to a helicopter! Theodore is saving us?
Richard: YEAH! Woohoo! (Wyatt and Richard get taken to hospital, by then, Brian, Londoya and Lacey had made it there themselves)
Theodore: For those who dont know, Paul won immunity! And since we are at a public place, we can't have time to decide who to vote so guess what it is time to vote but before that! May i ask you a question Lacey.
Theodore: You said you were thinking of voting 3 people in the challenge. Have you made up your mind?
Lacey: Well i think so. I don't know if my alliance will vote with me.
Theodore: Well it is time to vote, since our confessional is kilometres away, use the public toilet since i put in the camera. Well Brian, you are up first.
Brian(TOIL): This is gross. But i will stick with what Londoya said, out you go my number 1 enemy!
Paul(TOIL): I don't think Brian likes you very munch i mean much.
Attica(TOIL): Its the safest thing for my alliance.
Yasmine(TOIL): I still believe i didn't win! Urgh! Anyway the new guy wants you gone so you can go!
Londoya(TOIL): I don't know if Wyatt or me is gonna go home! I am so nervous!
Mnet(TOIL): You are a huge threat, besides you don't need the money.
Wyatt(TOIL): (gulp) I know i could go home because i have 2 immunities already to my name besides ive already won, so this vote is about i think who would not get intimidated.
Lacey(TOIL): I don't have a clue about who anyone is voting, so i am just guessing.
Richard(TOIL): Sticking with the pact, sorry!
Theodore: Alright, i have 8 pencils in my pencil-case. So one of you wont get one which means you are out and your torture will be staying here! Cause i cant think of anything! But people who are staying include Paul! Richard! Lacey!
Theodore: Also safe, Londoya and Mnet!
Theodore: The three of you got votes in a 4-3-2 vote but the two safe are
Brian and Yasmine! Sorry Wyatt! You are out!
Wyatt: Aww man!
Yasmine: What do you mean no? I thought you hated him!
Londoya: Shut up Yasmine! Wyatt i am so sorry about myself!
Wyatt: (sigH) Londoya. Its ok.
Londoya: Sorry thought! I'll win for you!
Theodore: Just walk to your right and leave! Bye Wyatt!
Wyatt: But wait! You guys are on the clock you have to-
Theodore: I don't know what you are talking about just go!
Wyatt: Uh oh. Bye guys!
Theodore: 8 are left, will whatever Wyatt said ever make sense, find out on Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit!
Chapter 12: Hospital-ity Servants
Theodore: Last time, Mnet realized that it was time to merge, while ARYL and BRACEL had alliance meetings. Wyatt talked to some Inuit dude, i couldn't find out what they were talking about though. In the challenge, our merged contestants had to find their way to a hospital! Only with a map and some sort of vehicle, they drove across the tundra for hours! In the end, it looked like our first immunity winner of this season would be either Yasmine, Attica or Mnet but a surprise comeback meant that Paul won immunity. Also, Wyatt and Londoya made up, but it didn't really matter because Wyatt was sent home! Who will go home this time on Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit! Ugh can i take off this happy face now, i hate my job.
Attica: Uh Londoya? Are you ok?
Londoya: URGH! He had to go home! The second i make up with him!
Attica: Oh, Londoya i am very sorry. But he is gone now-
Londoya: Yeah yeah you don't need to remind me!
Attica: Ok, i am trying to help you. But if you are going to be like that then i'll leave!
Londoya: Yeah! Go! Good Riddance!
Attica: Excuse me? (grabs chair and throws it at Londoya)
Londoya: Oww!(Attica leaves)
Attica: I'm not such a fan of that Londoya guy. But whatever, that stupid lone- (Inuit 1 comes to Attica)
Inuit 1: Hello again, Attica is it?
Attica: Oh hi. Sorry but i forgot your name.
Inuit 1: No problem. Just here to say thank you!
Attica: For what?
Inuit: There is no-one inside the school! You managed to get my job done!
Attica: Wha- oh yeah. Hehe! Correct!
Inuit 1: Well, school starts next week for our students. And it is all thanks to you! Anyway, i've got to clean up the area, you know, take down the cabins you built. Put the kitchen stuff back in the mess hall. Bye! Thanks again!
Attica: No problem! (slaps herself)
Attica(CONF): Great, so now that we are at the hospital, they think that we are finished with the competition! Whats going to happen if we get back!
Paul: Urgh. Where is the bathroom here. I need to go like not. I mean now.
Inuit 2: Oh hello? Who are you?
Paul: My name is Paul.
Inuit 2: Why are you dancing around the hospital?
Paul: I need to go to the bathroom but i don't know whir i mean where they are.
Inuit 2: Oh, the bathroom is down that isle and then take the next left.
Paul: Oh think you!
Inuit 2: What do you mean, think you.
Paul: Sorry i meant thank you. I just moved to Canada a couple months ago, so i am not goat i mean great at English. (runs to bathroom, without Inuit noticing.)
Inuit 2: Oh really. Anyway you can go to the bathroom now, pleasure meeting you. Paul? Where did he go?
Paul: Oh seriously! Come on , they are being cloned i mean cleaned!
Lacey: (walks by) Oh hey Paul, why are you jumping like that?
Paul: Oh heh, no reason. Wit i mean what is in that cup.
Lacey: Its some sort of drink you only find in this hospital. It tastes like pee.
Paul: Ugh. Really! Anyway, Shoelace i mean Lacey i need to go and uh do something! Bye! (runs off)
Lacey: Uh, ok. That was weird.
Paul(TOIL): Is that the only bathroom in the whole hospital. Ok i have to go so bay i mean badly.
Brian: This is so boring. I want to leave this place now.
Mnet: Oh i know. How long do we have to stay here?
Brian: I think the challenge is to find our way back. Well it probably is.
Mnet: Wow! You might be right! That rhymed. .... But anyway, i think that i am in you alliance.
Brian: Really? Why?
Mnet: I made a deal with Lacey in the challenge.
Brian: Well, welcome to the group then. I didn't know Lacey had it in her.
Mnet: Oh and FYI, I am not sure but from my years with shipping, crushes and dates, i think that Lacey likes you.
Brian: Really? Uh wow. I didn't think so.
Mnet: No problem, just wondering incase Theodore doesn't give us time to vote again, who are you planning to eliminate.
Brian: Yasmine, she is a HUGE THREAT.
Mnet: Ha! Yeah right, i'm a bigger threat than she is. Did you watch season 1, she got out second!
Brian: True, but look at what was happening. At the time, everyone still believed Flo over Yasmine so when she accused Flo, she got in jeopardy.
Mnet: True, but look at how many scams Flo was in, they lasted way more than 3 episodes.
Brian: Correct, but that isn't the point. Now, she has an alliance of 4 that is ahead of us. If she goes, the rest of the sheep will come to us. Besides, you asked who we are voting, and as alliance boss, i told you who i think is best!
Mnet: (rolls eyes) Whatever.
Mnet(TOIL): Brian is eh, not the person that i'd normally hang around with, but in this game you have to get uncomfortable.
Yasmine: Richard? What are you doing?
Richard: I really, really need to go to the bathroom.
Yasmine: Ok, so go find it!
Richard: But there are only 2 male bathrooms in here, one is being cleaned and the second one is broken because of some of the things people have put in there. (vomits)
Yasmine: Did you ever think of going to the girls bathroom-
Richard: I tried but there is a guard who makes sure only girls go in the girls toilets.
Yasmine: Well thats dumb.
Richard: Maybe i should ask for a cup or something an-
Yasmine: Eww! Eww! Too much information. But if you end up peeing yourself, dry yourself with these tissues.
Richard: Thanks, i might try to find a private place outside- (Brian runs by)
Brian: Oh hi Richard, can i please have some alone time with Yasmine.
Richard: Sure, i was going to leave anyway. (Richard leaves)
Yasmine: What do you want.
Brian: I just want to say, you are beautiful!
Yasmine: Duh, i know i am, but why are you telling me this?
Brian: Cause you are cute! And oh look over there-
Yasmine: Huh? (looks a different way while Brian puts a note in Yasmine's pocket)
Brian: Oh sorry I thought i saw Chris.
Yasmine: Whatever. I need to uh- (Brian kisses Yasmine on the cheek) What are you doing, we are enemies remember!
Brian: Yeah but you stole my heart-
Theodore: (on loudspeaker) IF YOU ARE COMPETING IN TOTAL DRAMA LIFE OF IQALUIT GET TO THE ENTRANCE OF THE BUILDING NOW!
Yasmine(TOIL): Did Brian kiss me? Huh why- what?
Brian(TOIL): I just distracted her by flirting with her, I put a note saying, Londoya is quitting ARYL. It is run by a dictator. Have fun being the minority alliance Yucksmine!
Theodore: If you are going to stay at this hospital, you have to make yourself useful. So for today you will work in pairs. Each pair has to run to one of four bathrooms, last one of the bathrooms is out of the challenge. Than, you have to clean a certain cubicle which i made dirty specifically for you, than last one to clean well enough is out of the challenge, than, the 2 remaining teams will race back here first 2 here a special advantage in the next challenge, the pair that got out first will do a short fight, whoever loses is out of the game! I could let you team up, but i will do it for more drama. (quietly) Ugh, how much do i have to talk like Chris McLame. So the pairs are, Richard and Paul-
Richard: Wait, we get to go in the bathrooms! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
Theodore: Brian and Lacey you two work together.
Lacey: Oh! Ok then!
Theodore: Stop interrupting! Attica and Mnet, you two work together which leaves Yasmine and Londoya left. Anyway, go to one of four bathrooms! NOW!
Richard: Look i just want to pee, so hurry up.
Paul: Due, i mean dude! I am busting with a capital P!
Richard: Busting is spelt with a b at the beginning.
Paul: Whatever, i don't need the petails.
Richard: You mean deta-
Paul: Come on i need to no i mean go! We are enemies but for now, just find a bathroom!
Richard: Well thats what i was intending to do. Wait is that it. Its the bathroom!
Paul: No, its not the bathroom, its the janitors closet.
Richard: Wow, you said a sentence without making any mistakes.
Paul: What! It isn't impossible!
Richard: And you did it agai- ooh the bathroom is down the hall! (Paul and Richard run down the hall)
Paul: What is thes i mean this?
Richard: It's Theodore, he is talking to us on this phone, look!
Theodore(on phone): Congratulations, you made it to round 2 in first place!
Richard: Yes! Can we go into the bathroom to uh-
Theodore(on phone): NO! You will soon, but wait until i say so!
Richard: But we really have to go-
Paul: Yeah! Bot i mean both of us!
Theodore(on phone): Too bad, and if you do go in there, you two are disqualified from the competition! UNDERSTAND!
Paul: Yis i mean yes..
Richard: If a puddle is made here in the next minute i'm blaming you Theodore.
Theodore(on phone): I don't care!
Attica: Do you happen to have an idea of where the toilets are?
Mnet: I remember passing by it when i got a latte.
Inuit 1:(comes by) Hi Attica! What are you doing, and who is she?
Mnet: Attica, who is he?
Attica(CONF): But-i- URGH! They had to end up meeting face to face!
Attica: Oh! I am just going to the bathroom, would you know where it is?
Inuit 1: I'll tell you after you introduce me to your friend.
Attica: Oh this is Mnet.
Inuit 1: Excuse me?
Inuit 1: Oh sorry, it just sounded like a silly name i mean, who would name their child Mnet! (Mnet punches him)
Mnet: Just tell us where the stupid bathroom is and i WONT kill you.
Inuit 1: (tears up) Down that hall and turn left! Please! Help me!
Attica: Sorry sir. (runs to bathroom with Mnet)
Mnet: Here it is! EEek!
Attica(CONF): She can have pretty quick mood swings.
Theodore(on phone): Congrats. You are the second team to arrive to Round 2.
Mnet: Yes! We are safe!
Brian(CONF): So i like Lacey but i think it isn't going to happen, especially in a competition. I won't allow it.
Lacey(CONF): So i like Brian but i think it isn't going to happen, especially in a competition. I won't allow it.
Brian: I think it is this way.
Lacey: Oh no , its this way.
Brian: Lacey, i saw it being this way this morning, i am pretty sure it's this way.
Lacey: IT IS NOT THAT WAY! ...Sorry. But its this way!
Brian: Ok, lets go your way then.
Lacey: No lets go this way you suggest!
Brian: Ok we aren't getting anywhere with this, just follow me.
Lacey: Uh, ok.
Brian(CONF): Ugh, so hard to have a crush.
Lacey: We are going in circles Brian.
Brian: Seriously! Ug- Lacey, this guy needs some help.
Lacey: Oh yeah, maybe we should help him. (walks up to Inuit 1) Oh would you know where the bathroom is?
Inuit 1: Uagh. Down the hall and to your lef-
Lacey: Thanks bye! (grabs Brian and runs to the bathroom)
Inuit 1: They aren't even going to help me up? Ugh, teens.
Theodore:(on phone) Congratulations, you made it to part 2, now let me scream to Londoya and Yasmine that the are out of the challenge. (gets megaphone) IF YOUR NAME IS LONDOYA OR YASMINE YOU ARE OUT OF THE CHALLENGE, IF I SAID YOU ARE SAFE, GO AND START PART 2.
Yasmine: Ugh! We lost! Knew you shouldn't have stopped, dropped and painted!
Londoya: Blame me if my art is beautiful!
Yasmine: (rolls eyes)
Paul: We can pee! Finally! (rushes into bathroom and pees)
Richard: I can't hold it in any longer! (rushes into bathroom and pees)
Paul: Alright, now that hug i mean huge problem is out of the way, we can clean on of the rooms. Theodore said stall number 5 so (opens stall number 5) GAAH!
Richard: Oh come on it can't be that bad! (walks into stall number 5) OH WHO WENT IN HERE? DID OWEN COME BACK AND USE THIS PLACE?
Paul: The smell! The smell! I am going to back i mean barf!
Richard: Too late for me, (barfs)
Paul: Great, now we have to clean up yer i mean your mess as well as the animal's.
Richard: Sheesh sorry i didn't mean to! But i think i have an idea of how to clean this place faster!
Paul: Wit i mean what?
Richard: Use this plastic bag and fill it with water, then give it to me!
Paul: I guess it can't hit i mean hurt. Well actually i can't hit me but-
Richard: Paul, focus! I don't want to die from butt poisoning!
Attica: (walks into bathroom with Mnet) Theodore said stall number 5 so- (opens stall 5) EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Mnet: How bad can it b(smells it and faints)
Attica: Lucky i have my emergency kit with me!
Mnet: Your emergency kit?
Attica: I love to clean! You know that.
Attica: So if i see something not organised or messy, i have a couple wipes, tissues and air refreshers.
Mnet: Yeah we are going to need a lot of that.
Attica: Ok, do you want to help, because i am fine with doing it myself.
Mnet: If you want to do it than i am fine with letting you!
Attica: Ok, air refreshers are first because if i go in there and smell the toxic air for more than five seconds, i might end up fainting.
Mnet: Whatever just go!
Attica(CONF): If you are going to scream at me! You might as well help! Ugh Mnet.
Brian: (walks into bathroom) Eww! It smells like a rotten egg in here!
Lacey: (walks into bathroom) Gross! He said stall number 5 so, (opens stall number 5) AAAHHHHH! EEW! Gross!
Brian: (looks in stall) Who used this place, the dumpster.
Lacey: Probably, but we have to clean. Wet some toilet paper in the sink and i'll (gag) wash the seat.
Brian: Ok. (wets toilet paper.)
Lacey: This is so gro- wait a minute. It says something on this card? (reads card) Congratulations, you have found an Iqaluit idol. Choose who you want to stay and choose who you want to go at tonights elimination round with Londoya and Yasmine.
Brian: Woah. We have the power to get Yasmine out! This is great!
Lacey: Yeah, it is! But lets keep cleaning to get the reward. (flushes toilet) I still don't believe Yasmine is going home today! Woohoo!
Brian: Wait Lacey, there is a mop right here, and a bucket.
Lacey: This is great. (cleans stall)
Brian: How did you just clean that in like 2 seconds?
Lacey: Don't question it. (to phone) THEODORE! WE FINISHED OUR BIT!
Theodore: (on phone) Whatever whippersnappers, now get your lazy butts out of there and get to the entrance of the hospital!
Brian: She is trying to be nic- whatever. Lets go! Do you have everything?
Lacey: What would i need to bring with me! Lets go! (Brian and Lacey leave bathroom as Yasmine secretly enters)
Yasmine: (whispering) Too bad your forgot your Iqaluit idol, suckers!
Yasmine(CONF): Of course they thought they could get rid of me that easily, i am Yasmine, and nothing will stop me from the 2 million dollars!
Attica: And one last wipe. (wipes wall) MNET! GET THE PHONE! WE ARE DONE!
Mnet: (gets phone) Theodore! We finished! Are we still safe?
Theodore: (on phone) Yes you are safe. Now run to the entrance of the hospital NOW WHIPPERSNAPPERS!
Mnet: Ok, shut up. Lets go Attica! (Attica and Mnet run outside of bathroom)
Theodore:(walks into Richards and Pauls bathroom) You two whippersnappers are out of the challenge. Don't worry though, you are both safe from elimination.
Richard(CONF): Not the ideal performance, but at least i get to stay in the competition.
Paul(CONF): Why am i here again- oh to make a conlict i mean confessional!
Brian: Yes! I can see the entrance!
Lacey: And i can't see anyone else! We are going to win!
Brian: Before we make our victory da- (gasps) LACEY!
Brian: Did you take the Iqaluit idol?
Lacey: (facepalm) Great! I am so stupid!
Brian: Should we get immunity, or go and get it?
Lacey: I'll go get it, you run to the finish line!
Brian: NO! We have to cross together! I am going back with you! (runs back to bathroom)
Attica: Uh, why are they running the opposite way?
Mnet: I don't know? But lets keep going! (Attica and Mnet pass the finish line)
Theodore: Attica, Mnet! You two have won the special reward! And that is, a day at the spa just a few minutes away!
Mnet: A SPA! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Attica: A SPA! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Mnet: Eeek! I can polish my nails and actually take an hour shower!
Attica: I can Get my hair done and get a massage! Eeek!
Brian: Lacey, just give up! We won't find it, besides, Attica and Mnet already won! There is still a 1/2 chance Yasmine will go home tonight!
Lacey: I guess it would be fun to watch Londoya knock Yasmine out.
Theodore: Well Attica, Mnet, Richard and Paul and-
Brian: (panting) We made it!
Lacey: (panting) We would have won but we lost something so we went to get it.
Theodore: Thats great i don't care. Yasmine, Londoya, you two have to have a fist fight and the first one to say "eliminated" is out!
Yasmine: I don't think we will have to worry about that! (grins evily)
Brian: Oh yeah, really! Why, do you quit!
Londoya: (in his head) Please quit, please quit, please quit, please quit, please quit.
Yasmine: Oh haha very funny. I ain't quitting. I found the Iqaluit Idol!
Londoya: By your reactions, i am guessing this is a bad thing.
Attica: Huh? Whats the Iqaluit idol?
Theodore: I hid an idol in the challenge which gave you the power to just pick who you want out from these two. But she found it so there is only one option left.
Londoya: (sigh) I know, i am going home.
Yasmine: Sorry Londoya! It's a game, no harsh feelings!
Londoya: Thanks, oh and FYI. With me gone, the BRACELET alliance is now the majority!
Brian: HA! Guess its a win-lose situation for you Yasmine!
Yasmine: No it isn't! Mnet! Come to our allianc-
Lacey: Too late, she is with us.
Theodore: SHUSH UP KIDDOS! Fight later but now it is time to say goodbye to Londoya!
Londoya: So i just walk away from the hospital! Well, great, can i get my art stuff from the hospit-
Theodore: No. You voted out the only whippersnapper i like, time for revenge. NOW GO!
Londoya: Sheesh fine! Bye i guess.
Theodore: 7 remain. Which alliance will be superior? BRACELET or ARYL, though it is back to YAR. Find out next time on Total Drama, LIFE OF IQALUIT!
Chapter 13: Trouble in Paradise
(the challenge in this chapter is highly unrealistic)
Theodore: Last tim- (phone rings) Oh sorry i have to take this, its Chris. Hello, when are you coming back again? At the end of the season?
Chris: No actually, i am on the plane back from Hawaii, go set the challenge for those loser contestants? Hey, who has gotten eliminated since i've left?
Theodore: Julia, Wyatt and Londoya. Eh but they are all whippersnappers so i dont care.
Chris: Well i want a fourth person eliminated by the time i get back which should be in about 3 hours.
Theodore: Where are you exactly?
Chris: We are about to touch down in Toronto before taking another flight up north. Now get those lazy campers to work!
Theodore: Yes sir! (hangs up) OH NO! Ok i have 3 hours to find all the contestants, meet them here and get them back to the school.
Attica: (sighs in happiness) This is the best spa ever. Normally I would be the one cleaning the pool but they even do that for you!
Mnet: When i win the million i am going to spend like 50,000 dollars on spas, make up and beauty.
Attica: I wouldn't waste 50,000 on that. Hang on, Theodore is calling my cell. Should i pick up?
Mnet: Meh, he probably just wants us back at the hospital. Let it ring.
Attica: But if we don't pick up he might disqualify us!
Mnet: So, i would rather spend the rest of my life at this place. I even WANT to work here!
Attica: If he disqualifies us we have no chance to win.
Attica: Meaning no money.
Mnet: Still don't see why competing is better than this.
Attica: 0 money equals 0 time at the sp-
Mnet: ANSWER THAT PHONE NOW! I NEED MY SPA TIME!
Attica: (rolls eyes) Sure (picks up phone) Hey Theodore,
Theodore: GET BACK HERE! CHRIS IS COMING BACK IN THREE HOURS!
Attica: Uh ok-
Theodore: NOW! IM NOT SAYING BYE BECAUSE I AM TOO STRESSED! ....How do i turn this thing off?(hangs up)
Attica: Oh no! NO! We are going back!
Mnet: So? Yeah the hospital and the spa are better places to live in, but we can finally end this season!
Attica: Its not that, its because, i met the mayor of Iqaluit and he wants us to leave Iqaluit because we have ruined the school, so we have nowhere to go when we get back.
Mnet: YOU WHAT!
Attica: Sorry but its too late! What could i do?
Mnet: Well if you don't get disqualified, we are going to vote you out for messing up the grounds.
Brian: Lacey! Paul! We are having an alliance meeting.
Lacey: Uh Brian, what about Mnet, she is part of the alliance.
Brian: She is busy at the spa.
Paul: Ok Bridge i mean Pie i mean Brian. Tell us what you want to say!
Brian: It is great that BRACELET now has the majority. So unless one of you guys flip and you WONT! We can all make the final 4!
Brian: Huh? Theodore texted me?
Paul: What does it sat i mean say?
Brian: Get back to the hospital now you lazy slackers or else all of you are disqualified.
Lacey: I guess we better go then.
(Yasmine and Richard walk in)
Yasmine: Oh there is the big bad Brian!
Brian: Oh there is the super hot girl named Yasmine!
Yasmine(CONF): Did he just call me hot? (blushes) Eew! Gross!
Lacey(CONF): Did Brian just call Yasmine hot? (sighs) But i thought that me might have liked me.
Yasmine: Uh, well whatever! Richard!
Richard: What now, do you want me to polish your shoes, again.
Yasmine: You are the one with an identity crisis! So working will just make you a nicer person!
Richard: But if it isn't at my own will th-
Yasmine: Shut up. Throw your chemistry book at Brian.
Richard: But its my favourite book in the whole world...
Yasmine: Well if you do it, ill give you money to buy you a new one when i win! Now hurry up!
Richard: (throws book at Lacey, though aiming for Brian) Oops. Sorry Lacey.
Lacey: URGH! First Brian calls Yasmine hot, now i get a book thrown in my face! I am leaving! (walks to hospital entrance)
Brian: Nice going Richard, you made her upset.
Yasmine: Yeah Richard, i told you to throw it at Brian, not Lacey!
Richard: YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TOO! (punches Yasmine)
Paul: Woah. Ok this is getting intense. Im oun i mean out. (walks away)
Yasmine: So am i! (walks away)
Brian: Goodbye cute girl!
Yasmine(CONF): Why does Brian keep complimenting my looks! I mean, he hates me and i hate him! (blushes) I totally don't think he is hot. I mean CUT THIS BIT! But anyway Richard is super vulnerable and if i continue with this, it might mess his gameplay which is what i want. Richard is too strong of a player for me to keep.
Brian(CONF): No, i don't actually think Yasmine is cute. I did it so her game would mess up. But why did Lacey get upset about the fact i called Yasmine hot! Does she like me? Back.... Oh wait. Theodore is calling, he is annoucning the challenge in a minute.
Theodore: Todays challenge is a race against time. We will just call it the mid-life crisis part of life.Because it is the middle of the season and-
Mnet: If you are gonna interrupt my spa time can you make it worthwhile? So can you say our challenge please?
Theodore: Whatever. Your challenge is to get back to the school since Chris is coming back in 3 hours. I chucked the maps away so the only safe way to know where you are going is by train!
All contestants: Train?
Theodore: Yeah, like a steam train where the coal-
Attica: Thats not how trains work anymore. But continue,
Theodore: Grr. Anyway, i wont give you a map or anything to remember, but keep on the Nunavut line and go from here to Iqaluit, stopping at Kugaaruk, Taloyoak, Fort Ross, Shimik, Pond Inlet and Kipisa. To get to Kugaaruk line just kepp walking that way. Now go whippersnappers go! .....Stupid Youngins.
Mnet: I miss the spa.
Attica: For the last time Mnet, focus on the money.
Mnet: Right, money, right.
Attica(CONF): I just thought that i might get Mnet of BRACELET and onto our side, and that won't be too hard, seeing as that girl gets distracted easily.
Mnet(CONF): All this season i have been a very, eh stereotypical dumb blonde. I get distracted easily and care a lot about fashion. Don't think i am not aware of that. I can tell Attica wants to team up, and since this is auto elimination, i might double cross her and get myself in the top six!
Attica: Anyway, i was wondering if you could team up with me so you can join YAR, or MARY.
Mnet: Oh, but i am part of BRACELET.
Attica: I know, but if you change to us them you will be in the majority. Sooner or later, your alliance will crumble.
Mnet: Ok, fine i will join your alliance, if, you buy me nail polish at the shop down there.
Attica: Ok seriously! Fine!
Mnet: Thanks, i am going to get on the train now.
Attica: But i need to compete too! What if this costs me a place in the top 6?
Mnet: Then i give you money when i win! Now shoo! Hurry up!
Attica: Fine. (rolls eyes and leaves)
Mnet: Who is so stupid now! Ha!.... Where do we go again?
Mnet(CONF): Its like taking candy from a baby. Who thought getting nail polish could be so manipulating.
Attica(CONF): She only cares about fashion. Whatever Attica, this is good for our alliance.
Brian: Woohoo! I can see the station! (Yasmine trips Brian over) OW!
Yasmine: Oh, sorry, just making sure you don't get on the first train.
Brian: Princess, don't need to do that!
Yasmine: Eww! Princess! Don't call me that.
Brian: You're voice sounds so beautiful, especially when you are screaming at me!
Yasmine: ......Shut up! Urgh!
Yasmine(CONF): Ok, Brian is using some sort of strategy to distract me, and his plan is working! Ugh! I just need to find a secret about him, then exploit it and ruin his gameplay!
Lacey: Hey Brian!
Brian: Hey Lacey. (the two have a moment) Oh uh, what do you want?
Yasmine: What? A ticket to Barfsville! Or do you want a ticket to Eliminationtown. I can arrange both.
Brian: Oh hahaha princess! That is a good one!
Lacey: (slaps Yasmine) No actually, Brian. Do you want my spare ticket to Iqaluit!
Brian: Oh thanks Lacey! I better get to the platform before the train arrives!
Lacey: Yeah me too.
Brian: See ya princess! (Brian and Lacey run to platform)
Yasmine: Grr! I have to catch that monster! Why won't this stupid thing take my credit card?
Mnet: Did you get the pink ruffle skirt too?
Attica: Yes, yes. Mnet, we really need to catch up. We are in last place.
Mnet: Don't be such a worrywart. But anyway, i feel like a smoothie, can you buy me one?
Attica: Fine, but this is the last time, i cant continue buying you everything! (walks away)
Mnet: Great. Now to get to the station while she gets my drink and gets herself eliminated! Haha! (runs by Richard)
Richard: Oh hi Mnet, wait. If you caught up to me, does that mean i am not in last? Yes!
Mnet: Oh yeah, I was working together with Attica but she- took forever because she kept on cleaning everything!
Richard: Well, thats too bad, sorry!
Mnet: Hey, while i am here, can i ask for a neutriallance.
Richard: I am guessing that is a neutral alliance. So you mean like-
Mnet: Not voting together, but if we get told to vote for each other, we don't vote each other!
Richard: What if Brian and Yasmine find out, then they will kill us!
Mnet: Don't worry, were are already at the top 7, it won't be too much of a big deal by now.
Richard: I guess you are correct. Wait, there is the station!
Mnet: Yes! Now i am going to get my ticket onto the first train! Bye!
Richard(CONF): Honestly, i am surprised Mnet has made it this way by herself, without any true ally. Maybe after Nmet went people started to target stronger players, which explains why the next five eliminated, Olivia, Flo, Steph, Julia and Wyatt had all made the top 3 before. But still, we can not underestimate her! She got this way without an alliance, without many friends or enemies, so maybe that girl isn't all glamour and gloss.
Mnet(CONF): After Attica goes, Richard will have to be next. Wow, i really sound like Flo or something. Eew!
Yasmine: Why wont this stupid receiver not recognise this! HURRY UP! URGH!
Paul: (walks by Yasmine) Oh hi Yucksmine. I mean-
Yasmine: Paul now really isn't the time! I need to get this coin in the receiver?
Paul: Yasmine, why are you putting in a coin. Wow, i just said a full sicktence, i mean sentence without making a mistake!
Yasmine: Thats would be great if i cared but anyway, i am putting in a coin because it says too! Dumbo..
Paul: I get that, but it says clearly $10.00 not $1.00. You must have misread ill i mean it.
Yasmine: Wait wha-
Yasmine: ....Did i just get outsmarted by Paul? And also, why did he leave in such a rush? Probably to get on the first train which i will get on too! Yes!
Theodore: 4 of our competitors have gotten onto the first train and 6 of them have reached the station. Right now, Attica is in most danger of getting eliminated. Lets zoom into her now!
Attica: Mnet i got your smoothie?- Mnet? Where is she?
Attica(CONF): I don't know if Mnet went and got something for herself or went to the spa again, and there is a good chance she would do that. But, what if she went to the station and ditched me? You know what! I am going to the station! It is a competition after all!
Attica: There is the station! Yes! Final 6 here i co- (Mnet walks to her)
Mnet: What took you so long! I told you to meet at the station! (winks at camera)
Attica: What? Well sorry i didn't hear you!
Mnet: WELL I DID! And you didn't even bring my smoothie!
Richard: Uh Mnet, we have our tickets, shouldn't me go catch up with the other-
Train Lady: Our train to Iqaluit is leaving in 10 seconds. 10. 9. 8-
Attica: Great! We are already behind! Shut up Mnet while i go get my ticket!
Mnet: Oh you are telling me to shut up! NO ONE tells me to shut up! Come on Richard lets go! AWAY FROM YOU!
Attica(CONF): Overreact much....
Mnet(CONF): Just messing with her till the point she loses it, then take advantage and leave her in the dust!
Brian: Woohoo! I am on the train with my beautiful princess!
Lacey: OK SERIOUSLY UGH! I am going to the other side of the train! Away from you people! (runs away)
Yasmine: Oh great, you scared your number one ally and also your crush away!
Brian: What no i do like Lacey i mean i do think shes cute i mean i will shut up because i love Lacey! Urgh great...
Yasmine: Did you really just reveal your biggest secret in front of your rival! Haha! Brian likes Lacey! Brian likes Lacey!
Brian: No i don't! Princess!
Yasmine: You can stop doing cause it doesn't even work on me anymore! Do you want me to go tell Lacey!
Brian: Do it, and i'll tell Attica and Richard you're planning to vote for them!
Yasmine: Yeah, and. Like they will believe that from their biggest rival who likes Lacey! You probably have a picture of her in your bedroom wall, you probably have a skecthbook and you only draw her in it! You must dream about her every night!
Brian: IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP I WILL RIP EVERY BONE OUT OF YOU ONE BY ONE!
Paul: Brian, Yasmine, just be friends! Stop fighting after that one incident back all the way in the love challenge! You are both strong independent people! And instead of trying to bring each other down! Bring each other up! And you could be a power coup de i mean couple!
Yasmine: Shut Paul! You don't know the evil he has in him!
Brian: Oh i am evil! Look at you being a hypocrite! Blaming Flo for being a villain, then you become one too!
Yasmine: At least i am fine with people knowing that! Unlike Flo, who faked herself! But anyway, i am going to tell Lacey what you said about her!
Brian: I beg you don't and i will vote for myself next elimination-
Yasmine: Ok i wont tell her!
Yasmine(CONF): Its funny how desperate some people can come to not revealing a crush. But i totally don't like Brian and am not jealou- OK FINE! I like Brian and i am jealous! Happy that you TV talk show hosts have something to talk about?
Richard: When will that stupid train come!
Mnet: I know! I have ran out of emergency nail polish that Attica got for me! How have you not died of boredom without anything to do for the past half hour!
Richard: I would be working on my algebra book, but it isn't here because Yasmine made me throw it at Lacey and i haven't seen it since.
Mnet: Wait, you do algebra? For fun?
Richard: Yeah doesn't everyone?
Mnet: You need to go outdoors more.
Mnet(CONF): Richard is really hard to make a scene with. Since he is so quiet, he never gets into dramas which keep him in a good position! Heck, i wont be surprised if he makes it to the finale with me!
Mnet: You know i why i was a little harsh to Attica back there?
Richard: You call that a little harsh! But yeah,
Mnet: It is because she ruined our living conditions back at the school?
Richard: What? How could she! We have been stuck at this hospital for the last 2 weeks!
Mnet: Ok so what happened is, this Inuit guy came to Attica in the challenge when we went to the hospital! They asked her to close down everything at the school to turn it back to its regular duties, so she agreed, and that was in exchange for a ride to the hospital! So she almost won immunity by ruining everything for us when we got back!
Richard: I don't think its her fault she did that, its a game Mnet, and if she could take an advantage to survive another day, she will take it!
Mnet: There was an 8 in 9 chance she would have survived anyway, plus she is the one losing all her stuff when she gets back.
Attica: (comes to Mnet and Richard) Mnet, lets forget what happened at the entrance.
Attica: Oh and also, i bought this drink for you to say sorry!
Mnet: Oh really! Thanks Attica!
Attica(CONF): Did i mention that the drink was filled with laxatives? Revenge is sweet!
Train Announcer: Next stop, Iqaluit!
Yasmine: Woohoo! I am going to make it! In first place! And if i don't win i am still guaranteed to move on to the top six!
Lacey: Whatever heart stealer!
Yasmine: Oh dont worry about Brian if he likes you cause he- (Brian covers her mouth)
Brian: Would love to win this challenge!
Train Announcer: Iqaluit, train bording!
Paul: Yes! We can get off now! (Paul, Lacey, Brian and Yasmine run out of train)
Yasmine: Wait- where do we go now?
Brian: I know where to go! Ha! Iqaluit rules!
Yasmine: Oh shut up. And guess what! We can just follow you! Too bad!
Brian: Well i am not going to wait for the rest of you guys to hold me back! I am going to win this challenge! (runs towards school)
Lacey: Get that hot guy- i mean nothing!
Paul: Huh, Brian doesn't look burnt!
Yasmine: Just follow me if you want to come second.
Yasmine(CONF): My plan is to act tired in front of Brian and Lacey and then bolt ahead of them and win the whole thing!
(15 minutes later)
Theodore: They are closing up! And Brian takes a narrow lead! Yasmine is slowing do- no never mind! She is picking it up like a farmer who picked a job in the city! She takes the lead and the win!
Yasmine: YES! Haha! In your face Brian!
Brian: Whatever i came second, besides, it isn't like you get a special reward or anythi-
Theodore: Did i forget to mention that whoever wins gets -1 vote at the next elimination ceremony!
Brian: Stupid big mouth.
Paul: I miss this place! I am gonna check out much cradle i mean cabin. Wait, why is my cabin replaced with a cafeteria?
Lacey: True, and my bedroom is now an English room! Wow! I get 4th place and this is my reward!
Yasmine: Too bad sucka, but only winners get rewards! Wait, where is my bedroom!
Lacey: Oh you mean the new maths room?
Brian: Ok guys, am i the only one who noticed what happened.
Yasmine: Wha- OH NO!
Lacey: Huh what do you me- DID THEY! They cant do that!
Brian: Unfortunately they can, we didn't legally get the school, we literally took over it. Which means the school is legally allowed to take it back, and when we were gone at the hospital, they must have gotten everything back.
Theodore: WHAT! I KNEW THAT FREE HEALTHCARE HAD SOME DOWNSIDE! I am getting fired thanks to this school! (chris calls)
Attica: Ok! We are on the way to safety!
Richard: Yeah despite the fact that us 3 are in last.
Attica: Whatever buzzkill.
Mnet: Speaking of buzzkill, my stomachs hurting! Where are the bathrooms here?
Richard: Um, the bathrooms on this thing are only for number 1, not 2,
Richard: Sorry! But i am sure you will find somewhere to drop the kids off.
Mnet: What! No! Not that! I just said i need to poop on international television! Great! I will never be able to show my face at the yacht club again!
Richard: (rolls eyes)
Attica: Whatever. Mnet i-
Mnet: Quit it! I need to poo now so i don't have to do it when we arrive in Iqaluit!
Attica: Why can't you just wait till we get there!
Mnet: If you could go through the pain i am in, you would understand! Oww!
Train Announcer: Next stop, Iqaluit!
Mnet: Great! I will just have to suck it up!
Attica(CONF): That plan worked easily, sorry Mnet, but i blew 132.50 dollars on you! You had to go before i went broke!
Mnet(CONF): I guess i got played, it was probably laxatives in it. Well i won't give up! So try and eliminate me! But i won't give up! It ain't over until its over! Now i need to catch up with the other guys!
Train Announcer: Train door opening! (Richard, Attica and Mnet leave train)
Attica: Wait, where do we g- that building is so dirty! I might give it a quick scrub!
Mnet(CONF): I have to take advantage of Attica being distracted and run!
Richard(CONF): I memorised the urban maps of Iqaluit before coming incase this exact situation happened. But anyway i now know how to get back!
Theodore: Is that another competitior?
Brian: Yes its-
Richard: Hi (walks into school gates)
Yasmine: Yes! Another member of my alliance is here! Attica better hurry!
Brian: Mnet please you can make it!
Mnet: I can see the school! But i can also see Attica! She is catching up! And i am so tired and i new do things for myself and my stomach ache isn't hurting and! (slaps herself) FOCUS! Think of the lip gloss! (continues jogging)
Attica: Ok Mnet, no hard feelings, but i tried to sabotage your sabotage and i put laxatives in your drink.
Mnet: I already knew, and i don't care. I went evil on you trying to sabotage you first by making you buy all that stuff! Oh no the stuff! Great!
Attica: Don't worry, i will get you some more clothes with the spare money i win!
Mnet: Sorry but i will be winning so you wont need to worry your pretty little head about it!
Attica: Um, sorry no you can't win because- (runs into gate)
Theodore: Congratulations Attica! You have taken the 6th and final spot left in the competition which means,
Mnet: I know i know i am eliminated! (sigh) Being evil didn't work!
Brian: Wait, you actually strategised.
Attica: Yeah, she got 133 dollars of stuff from me, while knocking me out of the competition, well almost.
Mnet: Do i wait until Chirs comes back for the Drift of Shame?
Theodore: Yep dingo!
Attica: Anyway, where is our cabins- hehe? (smiles nervously)
Richard: (distant screaming) WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CALCULUS BOOKS!
Attica: ..............Oh there is Chris!
Theodore: I am so getting fired!
Yasmine: Boy you should b- (Theodore whacks Yasmine) Hey!
Theodore: Welcome back Chris! Did you enjoy the honeymoon?
Chris: It was horrible! The service sucked! Our room was disgusting! And we booked a tour guide who looked like he got hired yesterday! And i can see Mnet is out!
Mnet: Yeah yeah i know, stop making it more painful!
Chris: Wait a second, where is the mess hall, and my bedroom, and the contestants cabin- THEODORE! WHAT HAPPENED!
Theodore: It happened when we slept! Don't kill me!
Chris: Ill do that tomorrow, but for now we have to eliminate Mnet.
Mnet: Kick butt sistah! I have been a horrible person, and i know that you will win.
Attica: I will! Bye Mnet!
Chris: Ahh Mnet, i am surprised you made it this far! 7th place not bad! But anyway, do you have any last words?
Mnet: Get me lip- (boat drifts away at incredibly fast speed) GLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Chris: 6 remain, who will survive to see the semi finals in a double elimination and scare the students special! Find out next time on Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit! THEODORE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!
Chapter 14: Duo Disaster and Death
Chris: I thought i could trust you! You took the contestants to a hospital? WHY!
Theodore: You do not know how bad back pain can be for a 234 year old.
Chris: But, i thought you would take care of this place, and now we are left with these students trying to go to school!
Theodore: So, what now. Am i fired.
Chris: No, only because i don't have anyone else to work for me, Maria is not fit enough to be a host, she hasn't ate a vegetable since our wedding! And al;l the other interns are my servants. I can't hire them as my assistant.
Theodore: Thank you Chris! Thank you.
Chris: But, you are not getting out of this that easily, first you are on probation until you prove to me you are a loyal staff member. And you are my slave until todays elimination, so go get me an orange soda.
Theodore: Whats a soda?
Chris: Never mind.
Brian(CONF): Great! So i am in the top 6 which is great, but now Yasmine knows my biggest secret and is blackmailing me for it! Urgh. I can't let Lacey know! Not until i am ready!
Yasmine: (passes by Brian) Hi! I just was thinking about what you said yesterday, about you loving Lacey!
Brian: Ok, what do you want from me!
Yasmine: Oh! I don't know, maybe a-
Brian: Drink, money, dress, skirt, whatever! Please just don't tell her!
Yasmine: Oh sure, i won't tell her. If you agree to make this game easier for me and-
Brian: Stop stalling!
Yasmine: Don't vote for me at the next elimination ceremony and you can't let your alliance vote for me, or else i tell her everything.
Brian: Well is that it?
Yasmine: Oh no! I might ask to you know maybe-
Brian: NO! I don't know! Now hurry up and say it already!
Yasmine: I want you to do a couple errands for me, like maybe do my challenge and get me immunity!
Brian: Oh come on that isn't fair! I should be winning then!
Yasmine: Oh Lacey,
Brian: Grr. I hate you.
Yasmine: Aww! What happened to princess, and sweetie kins!
Brian: Just leave me alone!
Yasmine: Will do lose- (Richard walks in)
Richard: Hi. I cleaned you bedroom, and slapped Paul for you. Anything more before the daily throwing my book at someone routine?
Yasmine: Oh lighten up buzzkill. Its the top 6 and guess what! Today you won't need to do a lot of work! Since Brian is also my slave now!
Brian: (rolls eyes)
Yasmine: All you have to do now is clean my window, do my homework, get me breakfast, scream at Lacey giving her hints that Brian might like her, write 111 reasons why Yasmine is the best thing that ever existed and get those stupid Inuits out of my bedroom now maths room! Then we are good.
Richard: All that.
Yasmine: Yes! In 30 minutes before the challenge starts! Move move!
Brian: Aren't you going a little harsh on him.
Yasmine: I am making him into my slave! And i will probably hire him and actually give him 1 dollar for every 2 months he works for me! So i am doing something nice back!
Richard(CONF): Yasmine is so nice and considerate. If it wasn't for her, i would be eliminated as she has helped me get to this stage in the game an- wait what am i saying! She is ruining my life! But knowing the logically dumb person i am, i might say something stupid and get myself in danger! Urgh..
Richard: Ok reason 8, she always helps others. So not true. (Attica walks by)
Attica: Hi Richard. What are you doing?
Richard: I am writing 111 reasons of why Yasmine is the best thing that ever existed.
Richard: Because she asked me to!
Attica: Richard, that doesn't mean you should do it.
Richard: Shut up! I don't need counselling! (punches Attica)
Attica: Excuse me! I am trying to help you, and that is what i get in return! (slaps Richard)
Richard: Woah, i don't know what happened. I just, feel so dumb!
Attica: Thats like if i said i like to be messy. You are the smartest person i ever met.
Richard: You mean the sort of smart who understands calculus you mean. I feel like i just am booksmart and i am dumb in any other way.
Attica: No you are not don't worr-
Richard: You don't understand! Ever since Olivia went, any self confidence i had must have went with her. And now Yasmine is taking control of me and trying to change my personality into a follower! I deserve it, but i don't want to be a follower! I want to scream at her, but she will just kick me out of YAR and vote me out!!! I just want to be myself! But i don't even know who myself is until i find out! But Yasmine is making me into a person i don't want to be!
Attica:.......................Wow, i didn't think it was that bad.
Richard: I just, i want to quit the competition!
Attica: Look Richard, Yasmine is desperate to win. Thats why she is such a diva.
Richard: Being desperate and ruining someones life are 2 completely different things.
Attica: I know, but just try and take an advantage of all this. You can get revenge on Yasmine while maturing and finding yourself. And how you lost you.
Richard: How am i going to do that?
Attica: That is something you will have to figure out for yourself!
Attica(CONF): I never knew smart guys had these sort of problems. Maybe its all the bullying they get. I also didn't know how good i am at counselling? Maybe having a boyfriend who tried to kill himself helps.
Paul: I don't believe i made the shirt six i mean the top six!
Lacey: I know, right! And i have a 1 in 6 chance of winning 2 million dollars! Eek!
Paul: Yeah its s- (Mary Sue and Brad walk in)
Lacey: Um. Mary Sue, Brad? What are you doing here?
Mary Sue: Here to start school again now that you are done with that pesky Life of Iqaluit! You didn't win, right.
Lacey: Uh, no i didn't because we haven't finished yet!
Brad: So you are eliminated?
Lacey: No actually, i made the top 6 and we should be having our challenge soon!
Mary Sue: Well guess what! We are having our biology class soon! So, quit the darn show and get back to school!
Lacey: I already am in school! Oh wait! You are just jealous! Aren't you!
Brad: No, we aren't. Like you would win, the only reason why you made it to the final 6 is because you aren't a threat! You aren't smart, sporty or social. You are just average!
Lacey: (gasp) NO ONE CALLS ME AVERAGE!
Paul: Uh, Lacey who are toes i mean these people?
Lacey: Not now Paul. If i am not social, why did everyone pick me to be host of the special of season 2?
Mary Sue: Duh, because i was sick that day so i couldn't do my speech. And you were 2nd best. Besides, they felt sorry for you.
Lacey: That is a lie! You know what. You two can screw chemistry class.
Brad: Biology class.
Lacey: Shut up! You are going to watch me in the challenge to show you that i am not a failure!
Mary Sue: Fine!
Lacey: NOW GO!
Chris: (on school communication system) Morning Iqaluit! I miss doing this, but it is time for the challenge!
Paul(CONF): That was crazy! But now i can make it to the finland i mean finale if i pass through this challenge!
Chris: Alright. Welcome back Brian, Attica, Yasmine, Paul, Lacey and Richard! This challenge is very important because it is the seasonal double elimination!
All 6: WHAT!
Chris: Since we have to kick these losers out of the school while keeping with the Life of Iqaluit theme, this challenge will be in 2 parts. Part 1 is to fit the theme of your 3rd child by building something that a baby/toddler would need. You have an hour to make that. Then i will judge them and decide which 3 will go onto part 2! Part 2 is to literally get those students and teachers out of here so we can finish this season already. Whoever shoos them away wins invincibility and a ticket into the final 4! Which is our semi final this season! Then the 2 with the most votes will be taking the drift of shame away from here.
Richard: Wait Chris, what happens to Wyatt and Londoya. Because the-
Theodore: (out of nowhere) SHUT UP! He doesn't need to know about that!
Brian: What to make, what to mak-
Yasmine: (walks in) Oh Brian! Would you like to make me a pacifier.
Brian: Oh really! How am i supposed to make a pacifier out of sticks, leaves and paper.
Yasmine: Do you want me to call Lacey?
Brian: No, but please don't make me do this! Just let me do mine first!
Yasmine: No, too bad. I am going to make myself a drink. Have fun doing blackmail!
Brian: Grr! (Jason walks by)
Jason: Oh sorry dude, i didn't see you there.
Brian: Oh its ok.
Jason: Uh, who are you anyway? Are you a new student?
Brian: No! I am competing for 2 million dollars here! Who are you?
Jason: A student at this school, wait. Are you competing in Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit?
Brian: Yeah, and i am in the middle of the challenge, so if you wouldn't mind can you please go? (Jason slaps Brian) Oww! Hey!
Jason: Sorry, its school orders, if we see anyone who has anything to do with th- WAIT! You are Brian?
Brian: Yeh and, wait. YOU ARE JASON!
Jason: Oh hey bro! Sorry about the slap. But i will leave you to win 2 million dollars now.
Brian: Thanks man, i owe you one. Later!
Brian(CONF): Ok, that was a nice surprise. Jason is my best friend here.
Yasmine: Who knew orange juice could be so tasty?
Paul: Maybe that is because we have been sick i mean stuck in a hospital where they only served us water and occasionally coffee.
Paul: Anyway, why aren't you working on the chillenge i mean challenge! I nearly finished my baby bottle!
Yasmine: That looks like a plastic bottle with markings all over it.
Paul: You try and make a baby bottle with leaves i mean limited resources! But again, why aren't you working?
Yasmine: Oh, no reason.
Paul: Have you already finished yours?
Yasmine(CONF): I just noticed this could be a good chance to get some numbers on my side. Who knew this game could be so easy?
Paul: Anywitch i mean anyway, i might go and finish up my baby bottle.
Yasmine: Wait! Before you go, would you like to quit BRACEL or BRACE and join YAR, or YARP?
Paul: Eh, sure tree i mean thing. Anyway, i want to make it to part 2 so i might as well ginish i mean finish my baby bottle! Mice i mean nice talking with you Yasmine!
Yasmine(CONF); Bye bye Brian. Yasmine is going to win that money! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Chris: (on school communication system) YOU HAVE 20 MINUTES LEFT! Good luck!
Attica: Alright i am making a toy that a baby can play with.
Richard: I made a teddy bear.
Attica: Anyway Richard, can i ask you about this whole identity thing.
Richard: Yeah what about it?
Attica: What do you think changed in yourself, to turn you into this? Because i know you didn't have any identity problems back in season 1.
Richard: Maybe it was Olivia. The stress of hoping she didn't hate me got to me, because i was trying to balance out everything in my life. And my game. Then Yasmine came along and kinda made it worse. I thought i could keep myself together, but Yasmine took advantage of my false hope and turned me into her slave.
Attica: Ok, i am getting sick of Yasmine. She is so bossy!
Richard: I know, all i want to be is myself, which will mean leaving Yasmines allian- (Lacey walks in)
Lacey: Hey guys! I made this cot for a baby! Do you like it?
Attica: Even for a baby, that is too small, that is about the size of my hand.
Lacey: Great! Well too late! And sorry if i interrupted anything.
Richard: No actually, i would mind it if you stay here.
Attica(CONF): I have no idea what Richard is going to do here, but i think he is careful enough to not say anything too stupid right now.
Richard: I was wondering if us three could rebel against the dictators of this game, Brian and Yasmine by creating our own alliance.
Lacey: Uh, yeah continue.
Lacey(CONF): Doing that is a really big move. I only went to them to ask about my cot! But Brian is starting to let the game get to his head...
Richard: We can pull of the biggest backstab of the game and make the final 3 together. You do know that we will eventually get split up if we stay apart.
Attica: I like the idea, but, i don't now if i am ready.
Lacey: Yeah, i agree.
Richard: Come on! This is total drama! Known for being one of the most fierce games in the world! And staying with Brian and Yasmine will eventually jeopardize you, cause you do realise that Brian and Yasmine are gonna dump us! Because they are being fierce! They don't care if they are not ready! They know that the game is going to turn sooner or later! We need to fight back and not let them be the results of our demise! Staying aligned with Brian and Yasmine may be the "safe" option. But Total Drama isn't safe! To keep up with the nature of the show, we need to show our independence! And prove we deserve the money. So are you going to let them get away with 2 million dollars in their pockets because you wanted to be safe! NO! So stop questioning, stop concerning and join, the RESISTANCE! Besides, they are mean and don't deserve it.
Attica: Wow, that came out of nowhere? I will join!
Lacey: So will i!
Richard: Yes! And that means you quit from BRACEL and YAR!
Attica: Ok! I will quit. I am going to move forward into the game! That was actually an inspirational speech.
Lacey: And i quit from BRACEL. Though Brian is cute and hot and i totally like hi- i mean, i recognize the fact that he is a threat! Go Restistance!
Chris: Time is up! Time to show me your baby stuff!
Brian: This is my pacifier.
Chris: Hmm a pacifier. Looks realistic and i don't think i will choke on it! 8 points!
Yasmine: Hey! But thats mine!
Chris: Yeah, but Brian was holding it, plus he made it so.
Yasmine: But, but? URGH!
Chris: Ok Attica! A toy for babies to play with!
Attica: It squeaks too.
Chris: I am impressed that youi made such an enjoyable toy in just an hour with almost no resources! 10 points for you!
Attica: Woohoo! Perfect score!
Chris: Paul. What is that?
Paul: A baby bottle!
Chris: You literally just drew intervals on it. For that, I give you 5 points.
Paul: Oh mit i mean man!
Chris: Richard! Is that a teddy bear?
Richard: I know it looks bad, i was in a rush creating the resista- i mean creating the rest of the clothes for it!
Yasmine(CONF): Hmm, did he just say the resistance? Eh, he probably made a mistake like Paul. But still i find it slightly suspicious.
Chris: Its still good. Nine points for you! Which means sorry Paul, but you will not be moving onto part 2.
Paul: Grit i mean great!
Chris: Next is Yasmine, but she didn't make one so last is Lacey!
Lacey: Ok this is a cot for a baby!
Chris: Thats for a baby? Not for a baby's finger? That thing is tiny!
Lacey: Sorry, i was in a rush.
Chris: While it is very small, it has been done with loads of detail so this will be given a 7. So congratulations Brian, Richard and Attica for advancing to part 2!
Chris: Alright, Lacey, Yasmine and Paul. You three can take a seat. Now Brian, Richard and Attica, get those students out of my grounds!
Mary Sue: (walks to Lacey) Oh hey Lacey, i see that you have failed the challenge! Shocker! Haha!
Lacey: Go pick on someone your own size.
Mary Sue: Funny you should say that. That cot was tiny! Just like your IQ!
Lacey: If you don't shut up i will tell Brian you like him!
Mary Sue: Ooh! Classic grade 5 revenge schemes! Got any more?
Lacey: Yeah, like 2 million dollars. Which you won't be getting!
Mary Sue: Please, it won't matter when i am famous. One day, 2 million dollars will be like 0.01 percent of my money! HAHA!
Richard(CONF): Alright so my plan is to say that school has been ended early and that it will restart next year. It sound a little far fetched but everything in this game is.
Richard: (on school communication system) Hello students, because of the problems we face the Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit, this school will have to be closed down until 2019 when it gets re-opened.
Grade 9's: YES!
Grade 10's: YES!
Grade 11's: YES!
Grade 12s' YES!
Richard: Wow that went well, but getting rid of the teachers will be even harder.
Spencer: (walks by) No! Ms Boristorycher! Come back! I want to learn!
Richard(CONF): And people say i am a nerd.
Richard: Um hello, do you go to this school?
Spencer: YES! And because of that announcement, we will have to leave. Wait, i can study at home!
Richard: Oh yeah, true. But anyway, you can go now.
Spencer: Ok. Nice to meet you, wait which class are you?
Richard: Grade 10. Why?
Spencer: Thats weird, i haven't seen you around before. Anyway, i will see yoyu next year, goodbye! (runs away)
Richard: (sigh) Whats the point.
Richard(CONF): Seeing how energetic and perfect Spencer is, reminded me of how i was before my mind started playing games. I don't even want to win anymore. (sigh)
Brian(CONF): Ok so Richard got the students out. Now its my job to get out the staff.
Brian: (walks into office) Run! Evacuate the school! There is an earthquake going on!
Ms Boristorycher: Um, why can't i feel the earth shaking then.
Brian: Wait did i say earthquake, i meant a big storm!
Ms Boristorycher: Ok, give up now.
Brian: Ok. I just want you to get us students. I am the only one with a shred of responsibility! I heard they are going to mainland Canada!
Ms Boristorycher: And they will live where?
Brian: The Yukon.
Ms Boristorycher: NO! Not the Yukon!
Brian: Yes they will, and if you are not fast enough they will go there without a hassle!
Ms Boristorycher: Ok! We have to get all of them back here and a detention with it! Why are you guys lying around! We have no idea where those students are/
Mr Tillian: I agree. Thank you for being smart enough to stay in school at least to warn us. (all staff members leave)
Brian: Great! Now to tell Chri- (Attica walks in)
Attica: Hey! If you guys leave until next year, i will clean the entire school in the period!
Brian: Um Attica, everyone went which means-
Chris: (on school communication system) Brian wins immunity and a ticket to the semis!
Brian: Woohoo! Yes!
Attica: Um, good job Brian!
Chris: (on school communication system) Alright, meet me at the english room in an hour, until then. You can decide who you want eliminated!
Yasmine: Oh hey Richard!
Richard: Hi Yasmine. What did you call me for.
Yasmine: I just feel that you may be trying to break away from me. So if you don't vote with me tonight, there will be very bad consequences.
Richard: Oh (gulp) Like?
Yasmine: You don't need to know, anyway, we would be voting for Brian, but he won invincibility.
Richard: So we are voting.
Richard: Paul? He's no threat. What about Lacey?
Yasmine: Because Paul is floating and is always safe. I don't think he has gotten more than 5 votes for him this season. Besides, he has won invincibility, Lacey hasn't and those 2 are our only options. So. Pass this onto Attica! Ok Richard. And if you don't sick to the plan, i will make you my personal slave for the rest of my life!
Richard: (sigh) Ok. I'll talk to Attica. Bye.
Richard(CONF): Honestly, i would love to vote for Yasmine, i really would! But i think with all the pressure she is putting on me, it would be best if i stick with her. Just for tonight.
Richard: Guys, it is kinda straightforward, we are voting for Yasmine.
Attica: Eek! I don't believe we managed to pull this off!
Lacey: I am so happy i am a part of this!
Attica: I will be laughing as Yasmine screams out for her revenge!
Lacey: This will be great!
Richard: I know right! Hehe. (facepalm)
Richard(CONF): Ok, it sucks that i am not voting with them because otherwise Yasmine will be gone. But the second she finds me, and i am her slave until i die. But still, she could go home! 2 might be enough though. And i hope that is true.
Lacey: Ok guys i am going to meet up with Brian to see who he votes f- oh wait. I noticed something even better!
Lacey: Brian is probably going to want us to vote for Yasmine too! So this could be a 5-1 vote! Yes!
Richard: Oh yeah! This is perfect!
Richard(CONF): Ok, it won't be 5-1 but it will be 4-2 which is still enough to send Yasmine packing.
Brian: Ok guys, i got you here to discuss who to vote for.
Paul: Ok then, so who are we quoting i mean voting for.
Lacey: Yasmine right.
Paul: Yeah obviously Yucksmine i mean Yasmine.
Brian: As much as i would love too, certain uh... situations prevent us from voting for her.
Lacey: And these situations are-
Brian: Later Lacey. But instead we will be going for Attica!
Paul: But Attic i mean Attica is nice.
Brian: Since i can't vote for Yasmine for unknown reasons, we have to. Richard is not as much of a powerhouse than Attica.
Brian: I am sorry Lacey but if you want to win, Attica needs to go home! I know you don't want to vote for your friend but our options show we need to vote her out!
Lacey: (Sigh) Fine.
Brian: Glad we could come to an agreement.
Chris:(on school communication system) Time for elimination! Meet me at the english room! Pronto!
Chris: I miss doing this. But i need to catch up and update myself on all the drama since i left for my honeymoon. Brian. How has the game changed since i left.
Brian: To be honest Chris, i have had a tough few days. A secret which i don't want to reveal has put me in a position where i am getting blackmailed.
Chris: Could i guess it is Yasmine doing this "blackmail"?
Brian: That would be correct (rest of the contestants gasp)
Chris: Ok. Some dirt revealed. But anyway, do you think you are safe tonight.
Brian: Well obviously i have invincibility. So i think i am pretty safe. But without it. I would be considering the fact of me leaving the competition. Especially since today is double elimlination.
Chris: True. But i think i have an idea of whats going on. Anyone else want to add something?
Richard: Today this game made me realise that i can't be safe all the time.So thats all i can say for now.
Chris: Ok thank you Richard. But anyway! It is time to vote!
Brian(CONF): I have enough faith in my alliance that they will vote with me.
Lacey(CONF): Sorry Brian but i have to stick with the resistance. Besides, i am pretty sure you are fine with the decision.
Yasmine(CONF): If Brian didn't win he would be going home. But since he did, sorry. I tried to get you to join but i think at this point its too late.
Richard(CONF): This was a very hard decision to make.
Attica(CONF): This elimination is probably the most important one. But this was also the most satisfying elimination.
Paul(CONF): Brain i mean Brian said so, i am sorry.
Chris: Alright, lets see. It is clear that Brian is safe with his invincibility. So here you go! (throws pencil at Brian)
Brian: Yes! Final 4 here i come!
Chris: The other 2 that didn't get a vote were...... Lacey and Richard. Congratulations you are both safe. (thorws pencils at both)
Lacey: That was close!
Chris: Alright, Yasmine, Paul and Attica. You are remaining, and guess what. It was a tie!
The three: WHAT!
Chris: Yep! There was 2 votes for each of you! So we will have to go to a tiebreaker! Alright. How many Canadians are under the age of four?
Yasmine: Sorry Chris but i don't think it is necessary to do that.
Chris: Why? Do you quit?
Yasmine: No! Theodore said because i won the last challenge, i get minus 1 vote at the next elimination ceremony!
Richard: So close!
Lacey: Come on!
Chris: Alright, we will have to play footage to see if that is true! Role clip!
(footage from last chapter)
Yasmine: YES! Haha! In your face Brian!
Brian: Whatever i came second, besides, it isn't like you get a special reward or anythi-
Theodore: Did i forget to mention that whoever wins gets -1 vote at the next elimination ceremony!
Brian: Stupid big mouth.
Attica: Oh great!
Paul: So does hat i mean that mean we are eliminated?
Chris: Sorry, but the footage has spoken.
Lacey: Oh no Attica!
Richard: Attica, i am so sorry!
Brian: Sorry Paul, you made it far.
Chris: Ok lets get this over with!
Attica: Do i really have to share iceberg space with Paul?
Paul: Well one day i will rise and beat all of you!
Attica: Hey! You spoke correctly!
Paul: Wow, i spoke perfectly- i did it again!
Chris: Ok, thats great bye. (pushes button)
Attica: BYE! GOOD LUCK RICHARD AND LACEY!
Paul: I CAN SPEAK PERFECTLY!
Chris: Well, that episode was short and sweet. Next up. The deadly semi finals. Who will make it the the grand finale! Brian, Richard, Yasmine and Lacey! And who wont be able to look at a 65 year again? We will find out in Total Drama: Life of Iqaluit!
Chapter 15: The grandparent who went solo.
Chris: Hello kiddos!
Theodore: Todays challenge is about my age group, so me Chris and-
Mrs McLean: Me are here to give you the best semi finals you have ever seen!
Chris: Ok. I do the recap. So shut up now. Last time, Yasmine got Brian and Richard to be her slaves, but Richard couldn't take it anymore and had to talk to Attica. Lacey and Paul also had a friendly chat about making the top 6, before that got interrupted by one of Lacey's old classenemies, Mary Sue and Brad. In the challenge, Attica made a perfect toy for a baby while Brian and Richard also advanced to part 2. Which was to send those pesky Iqauluiteers out of here! In the end, Brian won immunity and Richard's plans to blindside Yasmine failed after we found out about a reward she had gotten. And to set off our drama machine, Brian revealed that Yasmine had been blackmailing him just before Attica and Paul went home in a double elimination! 4 left. Who will win, who will lose! Find out on - say it with me- TOTAL DRAMA: LIFE OF IQALUIT! Guys! I said say it with me!
Theodore: Sorry but talking hurts my mouth.
Lacey(CONF): Ok this is a bittersweet moment. I mean, its great that i made the final 4. But the plans to get Yasmine out failed. Maybe it was the blackmail and that was why Brian didn't let us vote Yasmine. Either way, at this point, with no more votes, i think i can only trust myself.
Lacey: Oh hey Richard.
Richard: Ugh, this is horrible!
Lacey: I know, Yasmine is still here. But we have the majority! Its 2-1-1!
Richard: True, we have the majority, but Yasmine has the control.
Lacey: What? How can she have the control when she isn't aligned with anyon- oh the blackmail. But its 2-2. She still doesn't have control.
Richard: No, but i didn't vote with you and Attica last night.
Lacey: WHAT! WHY! But we were so close!
Richard: No, this is what i mean, i am also Yasmine's slave and she said if i vote for her, then i ll be her slave for the rest of her life.
Richard: So! I would rather be homeless!
Lacey: She is only saying that so she wins the money. You do realise we probably won't compete again after this competition.
Richard: Look, Lacey. I know this is a horrible excuse. But Yasmine has been messing with my head for the whole of the merge. So now i am basically her puppet-
Lacey: Despite the fact you looked so determined to get her out yesterday.
Richard: You don't understand the power of that woman.
Lacey: Ok, you need to stop following Yasmine. I am going to teach you all i know.
Yasmine: EXCUSE ME BRIAN!
Brian: What this time! Want me to plait your hair?
Yasmine: No, i am not asking you to do anything! But why was there 2 votes for me at the last elimination ceremony?
Brian: I don't know?
Yasmine: Stop acting innocent, you got your alliance to vote for me!
Brian: I did not!
Yasmine: Then you do you explain it then. I thought we had a deal!
Brian: Maybe Richard and Attica voted for you!
Yasmine: Ha! They wouldn't do that!
Brian: Oh please, i can see them voting for you!
Brian: You aren't exactly the nicest person in the world.
Yasmine: So! My alliance is way more loyal than yours!
Brian: No it isnt!
Yasmine: Yes it is! And guess what, i am going to tell Lacey about how you feel!
Brian: No please dont! (Yasmine drags Brian to Lacey) PLEASE STOP!
Yasmine: Too bad traitor, this is your punishment!
Lacey: And you can scream at her all you want an-
Yasmine: Oh hi Lacey!
Brian: Yasmine, i will let you punch me! (Yasmine punches Brian)
Yasmine: So? Anyway Lacey i would like to say that Brian-
Richard: Yasmine for once can you just shut up?
Yasmine: WHAT DID YOU SAY TO YOUR ALLIANCE LEADER!
Richard: Shut up and leave Brian, Lacey and myself alone!
Lacey: Wow! Richard i am impressed! But anyway Yasmine, what were you saying.
Brian: I am begging you! Look at me! I am on my knees!
Yasmine: (Yasmine bends on her knees) And so am i. Lacey BRIAN-
Brian: Is sick of Yasmines voice!
Richard: Ok, i agree with that.
Lacey: Ok everyone shut up! Seriously, if Yasmine is lying then i'll know!
Brian: Oh she is lying so much its like she is-
Yasmine: BRIAN LIKES LACEY!
Lacey: Um, alright. Thats cool. Anyway i have to go now. Bye. (walks away, embarrassed)
Brian: I hate you Yasmine!
Yasmine: Aww, i hate you too!
Brian: SHUT UP! (Brian walks away, angry)
Richard: When will you stop being a hypocrite? (Richard walks away, annoyed)
Chris: (on school communication system) Morning losers! Meet me at the school office pronto! Its challenge time!
Chris: Wow, looks like some of you had a rough day!
Brian: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!
Chris: Alright i won't then! Anyway, congratulations for making it to the final 4. But now you have to face the 2 toughest challenges of all season. Or 1 if you get out today.
Theodore: Chris, hurry up and tell them!
Richard: I second that.
Chris: Alright! Anyway todays challenge is about retiring from your job and getting some sort of disease as we are now nearly dead in our Iqaluit timeline.
Lacey: And we are doing?
Chris: For today we are going to make sure we have enough money to survive being a senior. So. I have made an obstacle course which you need to pass through. At the end of each section is 20 thousand dollars. With these bags you will pick up all the small cheques until The end of the course, and there are five sections.
Theodore: Part 2 will be giving us one of your cheques so you can enter, the emergency room. Our inters are going to be pretend nurses and so they don't accidentally break your intestines. The interns will dye your hair white and do make up on you to make you look old.
Mrs McLean: Part 3 is easy. You just have to say something that Theodore over here agrees with, and he doesn't agree with much- maybe it isn't that easy.
Chris: The first 3 to do all that will earn themselves a spot in the finale! And 4th place is eliminated from the competition. And before we start, lets give you a description of what the obstacle course looks like.
Part 1: The Hide and Drive. 4 notes have been hidden under tires placed on a greasy hill. When you find a 20 thousand dollar fake cheque move onto...
Part 2: The Log of Luck. Placed between a small gorge, the log could fall if you are not careful. But under the log, is a piece of rope with another fake cheque. Collect that and move onto the...
Part 3: The Grandslam. Seen before in TROTI. Contestants will have to swing with a piece of rope into a giant replica of a baseball glove, but there a huge replicas of bats in the way. In the glove are another 4 cheques, and if you have a check you can move onto the....
Part 4: Scare-Slope. On the Scare Slope, any big movement or loud sound will cause an avalanche. And it also has many bumps to make you trip over. At the bottom of the slope is 4 20 thousand cheques which don't actually have money in then. Then you can move onto the final part, the
Part 5: Graveyard Grumbles Here is a graveyard that has falling cadavers all over the place. And if you are too loud, the notorious hoard of zombinterns will get you. When you gass through the graveyard, collect your ticket to part 2 of this whole challenge.
Mrs McLean: Do you get it?
Brian: Sure. (sigh)
Lacey: I guess.
Yasmine: Totally! Lets get the finals started!
Ms McLean: Finally someone with a shred of enthusiasm. Now go!
(contestants run to the hide and drive)
Lacey: Yes! I am in first place!
Lacey(CONF): I really want to believe Yasmine about Brian, but i can't let that distract me until i am not competing. But, i think i should try and convince Brian to turn against Yasmine. For the sake of the resistance. This is for you Attica!
Lacey: Oh hi Brian. (blushes)
Brian: Heh, hi Lacey.
Lacey: So, we are going to just ignore what happened about 20 minutes ago, right?
Brian: Yep. She was lying. (blushes)
Lacey: Anyway, i was wondering if you cou-
Yasmine: (takes over Lacey) YES! I am in the lead, see you suckers! And is that the new hookup of the season! Aww! So adorable!
Lacey: Ok shut up! Sorry Brian but i have to catch up to Yucksmine. Bye! (runs off)
Richard: There is the tires!
Brian: Focus Brian! (slaps himself) Oww!
Lacey: Ugh this is so disgusting!
Yasmine: So is your 14th kiss with Brian!
Lacey: Look. Why are you being like this? I never do anything to you!
Yasmine: Well duh! I want to win!
Lacey: So do all of us.
Yasmine: Well i have my game on this season and you don't.
Lacey: If i don't have my game on, how did i make it to the final 4?
Yasmine: Cause you, i don't know, maybe, totally kinda FLOATED?
Lacey: Excuse me! Floated!
Yasmine: Please, name one move you have made this season. You have been stuck to Attica and Brian the whole time!
Lacey: I have not! Besides! The only reason i am talking to you, is because of season 1.
Yasmine: So, i came second last in season 1, and i redeemed myself this season with strategy! But please! I don't even think you know what the word strategy means!
Lacey: Also in season 1, you got out so early because you tried to convince the team that Flo was evil. And when you got out, you were so angry that you were trying to do the right thing. And now look at you! Biggest hypocrite ever! You try to get the antagonist of season 1 out but then the next time you compete, you are an antagonist!
Yasmine: Well sorry Mr Karma, but that isn't going to stop me! Now if you excuse me, i have a first place to ge-
Richard: (from distance) Woohoo! I found my third cheque!
Brian: (from distance) And i found my second!
Yasmine: Gre- Oh here is a check!
Lacey: Here is another one! (Yasmine and Lacey race to the Log of Luck)
(at the log of luck, Yasmine and Lacey arrive as Brian is about to leave.)
Yasmine: Ok this is scary!
Brian: So are you! H- oh Lacey. (tries to run away but Yasmine stops him)
Yasmine: Just go talk to her! It can't be that bad!
Brian: Oh it will be! See ya- (Yasmine snatches cheque out of Brian's hand) Hey! That isn't fair!
Yasmine: Too bad! Its a competition dork, and if you and Lacey don't go to the Grandslam kissing and holding hands, you will regret it.
Brian: Ok fine! I'll talk to her.
Yasmine: Goo! (runs to the Grandslam)
Yasmine(CONF): Ok this is actually easy. These suckers are all under my wing, and i know it is the final 4, so i should do something nice incase we vote on the winner like last season! So helping a couple get together even if you have a crush on one of the partners is a nice thing. Right?
Brian: Oh hi Lacey. (awkwardly)
Lacey: .......Hi Brian.
Brian: So, uh how is the weather?
Lacey: Oh, its really sunny today. (crickets chirp)
Brian(CONF): Ok, here it goes.
Brian: So are we not going to talk about what Yasmine said earlier?
Lacey: Oh, i know it is just a joke.
Brian: But what if its not?
Lacey: (blushes) What do you mean?
Brian: (gulp) Lacey, you are probably the greatest girl i have met. You are motivating, kind and powerful! Yasmine is right. For once. I do like you. How could someone not like the most beautiful thing ever. But it got really big as i started competing. And i just want to know, if you feel the same way? (sigh)
Lacey: Wow. Um-
Brian: I know, i look super weird now, right.
Lacey: No you don't! Brian i like you too!
Brian: Really! You are lying, right? Just to make me feel happy?
Lacey: I am not lying! Brian you are the most all-around pretty guy ever. I don't deserve you. But if you want to as well-
Brian: Then would you like to-
Lacey: Be my boyfriend?
Brian: Yes!I would love to be your boyfriend!
Lacey: Ok. I found two cheques before i confessed incase you were too grossed out and i wanted to prove i wasn't some creepy stalker girl.
Brian: Well we have a Yasmine to catch! Lets go! (Brian and Lacey run to the Grandslam)
Yasmine: Hey Richard! Before you go to the scare-slope, would you like to collect me a cheque too?
Yasmine: Hurry up! I can taste Brian and Lacey coming in my mind!
Richard: Oh yeah, i forgot about your stupid mind reading powers.
Yasmine: What did you say, they are stupid! Right now you are probably thinking you will never find another cheque!
Richard: I will! You are wrong!
Yasmine: Oh no! I lost my mind reading powers! The perfect ability we all would wish for and i have lost it!
Richard: Maybe if you actually were nice to everyone here, then you would still know how to do it! (tries to swing across the grandslam but gets hit) Oww!
Yasmine: Yeah! Next time don't speak to your master like that!
Richard: Shut up Yasmine.
Yasmine: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
Richard: SHUT UP! Two words! Originating in the 17th century meaning to be-
Yasmine: Ok, you don't have to go all nerd on me.
Richard: Yeah, and maybe YOU could go less of a lazy diva who complains when things don't go her way. And manipulate and sabotage anyone else to achieve her goals! Look, back all the way to season 1. I was loyal to you and voted with you against Flo! I was the only one who helped you when i knew you were doing the right thing! Now look at you! You make me slave all day and don't even care if it is hurting me! Emotionally or physically! Guess how you got those 2 votes last elimination ceremony. It was by the resistance! Attica, Lacey and I bonded to vote you out! But i still stayed loyal to you! And just because i said shut up automatically is enough to get you angry at me! Even though i have helped you time after time! See this is why i am not doing well emotionally! So leave me alone forever, because i won't be your slave, i won't be your ally and i will be your enemy!
Yasmine:........... Did you just say all of that? Well either way. I don't need you anymore, i am going to make it to the finale!
Richard: So you think, back in the toilet challenge you had a 1 in 2 chance of being eliminated, but because you found the Iqaluit idol, you were saved. And last episode, you invincibility saved you and you wouldn't had won if Brian and Lacey weren't there.
Yasmine: So wha- (Richard runs to the Scare-Slope) Whatever, quitter, i don't need him. Besides i found a-
Lacey: So did i! And both Brian and I watched that epic beatdown Richard gave you, seems like you have no-one on your side!
Brian: Oh and guess what! I am joining the resistance!
Lacey: Also, i am now ahead of you. I found a cheque. Whiich just happens to be yours! (Lacey snatches Yasmine's cheque and runs to the scare slope)
Yasmine(CONF): I have once chance to persuade Brian to ally with me, temporarily.
Yasmine: Ok, before you go. I am asking you to make a secret alliance just for this challenge.
Brian: Ha! Why would i do that! I know you are desperate and its a last resort but-
Yasmine: No it isn't!
Brian: There is no way i am going to ally with my number 1 enemy!
Yasmine: Come on Brian, think about it. Would you want to be in a finale with your girlfriend and your ally. Or would you want to secretly ally with your number enemy.
Brian: I would choose to go to the finale with Lacey and Richard.
Yasmine: Yeah, but you are going to verse your friends. You can rub the money in my face if you win. Somehow. And i'll rub the money in your face WHEN i win!
Brian: Unfortunately, you are making some good points.
Yasmine: Plus,We are in last, wouldn't it be great to suprise Richard and finish ahead of him so he doesn't win th-
Chris: (On school communication system) Richard has completed round 1! And Lacey is nearly done with section 5 of part 1!
Yasmine: So. You either ally with me, or you face the 50% percent chance of getting eliminated.
Brian: I don't believe i am saying this. But yes. I will.
Brian(CONF): Its like she just hypnotized me! She is good. Too good...
Richard: Ok, so do i just lie down and wait for them to finish.
Mrs McLean: Pretty mu- LACEY!
Lacey: Yeah, what?
Mrs McLean: How are you already done!
Lacey: I did it myself, i wasn't going to let some untrained interns touch my face.
Mrs McLean: Well sorry but that is against the rules. So you have a 20 minute penalty.
Richard: Sorry Lacey, but hey, i bet that Yasmine is miles behind. I bet she wont be here anytime soo-
Yasmine: I am here!
Lacey: Uh oh.
Richard: Me and my big mouth.
Yasmine: Yeah. Too bad. Next time don't think you'll get me out so easily!
Lacey: Brian! Why didn't you stop her!
Brian: Oh i tried, but despite the fact that she is deaf, stupid, slow and annoying, she isn't gullible,
Yasmine: Well at least i am not a bickering, nervous train wreck! (winks at Brian)
Brian: Oh yeah. (smiles nervously)
Richard: What is going on with you two?
Yasmine: Nothing you don't know about pipsqueak!
Intern 1: Uh excuse me. Can you two lie down in those beds.
Yasmine: Sure thing. Great! Now Lacey is going to be eliminated!
Brian(CONF): Seeing your girlfriend getting eliminated is really tough. So i could only think of one thing to do to keep us both safe!
Brian: Oh Yasmine!
Yasmine: What you stupid brickhead.
Brian: You do realise this is going to take an hour. So why don't you do it yourself!
Yasmine: Duh i'll get a penalty! You clearly have the IQ of the amount of letters in penalty....
Brian: It takes 20 minutes to do it yourself. A 20 minute penalty equals 40 minutes. Do the math. It ends up being less time.
Yasmine: You make a good point!
Yasmine(CONF): How stupid does this guy think i am! I know he is lying. So i will just bribe them with money to finish with me faster and- wait never mind. They are finished!
Mrs McLean: Yasmine, Brian. You're makeover is over. Gee! You don't look a day over 78!
Yasmine: Shut up. Where is Theodore.
Mrs McLean: Down over there. About 100 metres south. And Lacey!
Lacey(CONF): Please say penalty is over. Please say penalty is over.
Mrs McLean: Your penalty is over! Go catch up to Yasmine and Brian! Estupida mujer go!
Lacey: You really have to stop speaking Spanglish, but sure.
(insert epic race scene between Brian, Yasmine and Lacey)
Yasmine: Ha! I can see theodor-
Brian: Yeah, but you are in last, and btw. Our alliance is off!
Yasmine: Like that matters now!
Lacey: Ha! I have the lead and i am going into the final two!
Theodore: Hurry up Lazy Lacey! Say something i agree with!
Lacey: First of all, that remark is not tru-
Theodore; Yes it is. I disagree with what you said. Try agai- oh too late. Brian and Yucksmine are here. They'll have to go first.
Lacey: (gulp) Fine.
Brian: Hey Theodore. Isn't Yasmine annoying?
Theodore: I agree with that! So Brian is through to the final!
Brian: Woohoo! Wait, where is Richard?
Richard: Oh there you are. I was waiting for you to arrive for hours.
Brian: More like 30 minutes. But hey, it all relies on what Yasmine says, if Theodore agrees, then she is (rolls eyes and gags) through to the final. But if she disagrees, Lacey has a high chance to make it.
Richard: Please Lacey you can do it!
Theodore: I agree!
Yasmine: Oh too bad lazy Lacey. But you won't be making the finale!
Brian: Don't worry Lacey. I will win it for you!
Richard: I am sorry Lacey.
Lacey: Its ok, as long as Yasmine doesn't win. Then its ok.
Chris: (walks in) Ok Lacey! I have heard you have been eliminated!
Lacey: I know, i know. I guess its the Drift of Shame for me then!
Chris: Not exactly!
Chris: Since the finale is tomorrow. We can't just send you home! And later tonight, everyone who competed and even Eric and Hannah will come back to see the epic finale! So you four just make a confessional before we sign off.
Brian(CONF): I am so stoked for the finale! I am so happy with all the people i met here, and even if i don't win, i am happy with all the memories that i get from this season. Well, unless Yasmine wins. Then i can burn in hell for all i care.
Richard(CONF): Wow. I never thought i could make the finale. But i worked hard and found myself. I think i know that though i am not perfect, meeting Yasmine made me recognise my independence and personality. And a 2 million dollar cheque?I will take it!
Yasmine(CONF): Haha. Yasmine fought, screamed and manipulated her way to the finale. And i am not letting some pretty boy and some nerd ruin my chance of 2 million dollars. Hahaha! I have waited so long, and it is almost here!
Lacey(CONF): I was so close! But i made a true friend out of this show. Richard, Attica and Julia all proved to me what a friend actually is. And also i now have a boyfriend! I hope Brian wins but i wouldn't mind it if Richard won either. Richard has gone so far and the million dollars would be great for him! And if Yasmine wins, i will actually be nice to Mary Sue.
Chris: Well, that was a great little preview to the finale! Anyway, i am on team Yasmine! She kept the drama on this whole season! Anyway, we have the nerd, the pretty boy and the manipulator. Who will win the million dollars! Find out in the epice finale of Total! Drama! Life of Iqaluit!
Chapter 16: 2 million dollars is a terrible thing to waste.
Chris: Isaac. Undulen. Brett. Daisy. Nmet. Olivia. Flo. Steph. Julia. Wyatt. Londoya. Mnet. Attica. Paul. Lacey. All of them have suffered through elimination this season. And now there us only 3 people left. Brian: The Newbie. He fought hard with BRACEL/BRACELET all of merge, and has won 2 challenges individually. Richard: The nerd. Richard has always been a nice, smart but slightly sassy person. He started with a crush on Olivia, dated her then realised he didn't even know what he was doing. For all of merge he was confused with himself despite the fact he remained smart and even got invincibility yesterday. It was a disaster. But it could have been way better if it wasnt for... Yasmine: The Mind Manipulator.She with the alliance of YAR/ARYL. Changed the game, and through lies and luck. She made it to the big bad finale. Who will finally take this mega check back home! Find out in the season finale of total! Drama! LIFE OF IQALUIT! Man, i am going to miss doing that
Brian: Wow, Richard. Do you believe it.
Richard: I know. Its really weird!
Brian: We have fought through all the eliminations.
Richard: But now we are here.
Richard(CONF): I am glad i get to share my finale experience with Brian. Unlike some people! (cough)Yasmine(cough) But nonetheless, i still have to beat him.
Yasmine: Oh hey losers!
Richard: Yasmine. Can't you just be nice. For once! Please!
Brian: Yeah, its the finale. Seriously.
Yasmine: What! I am being friendly!
Richard: Yeah for your standards. I honestly don't believe you made it to the final 3.
Yasmine: Because i actually have a brain! And i used it!
Brian: What! Richards IQ is like triple yours.
Yasmine: Well all he did was complain that he didn't know who he was.
Richard: At least i knew that being a you is a bad thing! Now leave us alone already!
Brian: And we don't need any snarky combacks from you.
Yasmine: Wait, Brian. Richard.
Brian: Shut up! We are not going to fall for it!
Richard: We aren't that gullible! Especially to you!
Yasmine: Ok fine then, if you don't want to see all the contestants from this season entering through the gate, then thats your problem!
Richard: Wait what! (Richard, Brian and Yasmine run to eliminated contestants)
Olivia: Hi Richard! (kisses him) I am so proud of you!
Wyatt: Yeah, we all took a vote on who we wanted to win, and almost all of us voted for you.
Richard: Well thanks guys!
Lacey: Hey Brian. It hasn't been too long since you have seen me.
Brian: For me it has.
Lacey: Oh stop. You're too much! (kisses Brian)
Daisy: Hey hot guy. Nice to see this eye candy away.
Undulen: Typical Daisy, always flirting with guys she never has a chance with.
Londoya: Undulen, just shut up for now.
Yasmine: Hey guys, anyone glad to see me!
Undulen: Oh hey! See to the rest of you losers! This girl knows how to play this game! (im still better though)
Yasmine: At least one of you has a sense of sanity!
Brett: You are calling Undulen sane! Never thought i would hear that.
Undulen: Shut up!
Mnet: Its kinda true chicken legs.
Nmet: Oh and don't even think about singing to "get something off your chest".
Undulen: But i like singing!
Julia: Yeah. And we all want to go home able to hear people.
Steph: Do any of you guys know where Theodore is.
Brian: I think he is in the cafeteria-
Steph: The cafeteria! Don't you mean the mess hall?
Wyatt: Oh yeah. Hehe.
Attica: Ignore that. Anyway. Lacey! I am so proud of you! You made it to the final 4!
Brett: As in one more episode then you did, Attica.
Flo: Just let the girl speak.
Lacey: Thanks! You did really well! But now we are on Team Brian! Right guys!
Isaac: Sorry dudette, but all of us want Rich to win.
Richard: Wow. I have never been called Rich! Sounds cool!
Brett: Sorry Lacey, but i am pretty sure none of us mind Brian winning. As long as it isn't Yasmine.
Yasmine: Shut u- oh no. Is tha-
(Eric and Hannah walk to the rest of the contestants)
Eric: Oh hi guys. Oww my throat.
Wyatt: Eric! You look like you weigh 25 kilograms!
Eric: We got kicked out of a hotel we we staying at.
Hannah: Only because the meanie who worked there didn't like my snoring, talking and when i wanted to talk to a chef at the kitchen there so i went behind the counter!
Olivia: (rolls eyes)
(Chris walks in)
Chris: Hey contestants.
Paul: Chris, we are excited to see who wins so can you get in i mean on with it!
Chris: Sure, but first. We need to see who you want to win. So if you want Richard to win. Stand to that big tree over there. If you want Yasmine to win. Go to that mini-garden over there and if you want Brian to win, stay where you are.
Olivia: Sure ok!
(Eric, Isaac, Brett, Nmet, Olivia, Flo, Steph, Julia, Wyatt, Londoya, Mnet, and Attica go for Richard.)
Julia: Paul! Are you not voting with us?
Paul: I can't betray my insurance i mean alliance leader, Brian.
Nmet: Whatever, its his choice if he wants to go for the noob.
Brian(CONF): To Nmet, i am not a noob. I've competed in 16 episodes! That is very not noob worthy!
(Hannah, Daisy, Paul and Lacey go for Brian)
Julia: Ok so Paul had somewhat of a reason, but HANNAH! And you too Daisy!
Daisy: What! Dis guy is smoking!
Hannah: Yeah, thats why i am going for him too!
Olivia: You shouldn't go for someone because of their looks. But its your decision, and when you watch Richard beat both of them you'll just be in shock.
(Undulen goes for Yasmine)
Undulen: Ugh. All of you norms are being safe. Typical. Its only because me and Yasmine are the only two smart people here.
Richard: If you were actually smart, then you would say Yasmine and I.
Undulen: Shut up you little-
Chris: Ok! You have decided who to root for. Now time to explain the final challenge of this season!
Londoya: Which is...
Chris: Ok. Sticking with the LIFE of Iqaluit theme, todays challenge is about death.
Steph: Now interested. (Attica slaps him)
Attica: Youre not dying if i have anything to do with it!
Chris: Shhh! Anyway, if you noticed there is a giant mountain of with 10 stops. Which is the amount of contestants in this season. We have invited 10 original total drama characters to ask you a question about either their time on total drama, or your time. Get the question correct and you move up to the next level, get it wrong and you have to wait for someone behind you to answer the question.
Richard: Yeah about that, if you get a question wrong and you are in last. Then what happens.
Chris: You get eliminated!
Brian: So how do we win?
Chris: You have 2 options. Either be the last one standing since everyone else has been eliminated, or be the first one to answer the last question. Also, you have to pick a partner to help you if you get stuck on a question, but you can only choose partners who decided to root for you. So pick now!
Brian: Ok, this is obvious. Lacey! I pick you!
Lacey: Ok, now we can't lose.
Richard: Sorry Olivia, but i am going to pick Wyatt since he has been in the most episodes of this.
Olivia: Its ok! Good luck you two!
Wyatt: Really me, you actually don't have to-
Richard: I am being strategic here. You were the best option! No offence to everyone else!
Attica: None taken.
Yasmine: Seriously, i can only pick you! Ugh, you better remember a lot from season 2 cause i barely remember anything.
Undulen: Don't worry girl, will me on your team we will become the dream!
Yasmine: Don't do that rhyme again. But anyway, Chris! Anymore you want to tell us?
Chris: To keep it death themed, we have to give you pairs wheelbarrows. And everytime you get it right, we have to put in a part of the human skeleton in you're wheelbarrow. Once you win or reach the top, you must throw them down onto the ground. First one to actually do that wins or unless everyone got eliminated. Oh and we are celebrating the 50th chapter of this series today, so each of you six can wear these party hats.
Undulen: Can i keep my normal hat on?
Chris: No! Now the final challenge of this season starts, now!
Contestants: Woohoo! Good luck!
Chris: Oh wait, before you go and do your challenge, also to celebrate episode 50. You have to sing a song! But it only has to be Brian, Richard and Yasmine.
Yasmine: Ugh great.
Wyatt: Ok, did i just dodge a bullet or what?
Undulen: UGH! This is horrible! I missed out on singing again! Unfair!
Chris: For real now,
Yasmine: It better be, before i make you sing let it go from Frozen.
Chris: Whatever. Your wheelbarrows are at the bottom of the mountain. Now for the last time this season! GO!
Brian: Woohoo! Lacey we are in first!
Lacey: Good! And that is the way it will stay for the whole episode.
Brian: Those are the wheelbarrows! Yes! We are going to make it!
Undulen: Oh no you aren't. (throws his cap at Brian, making him trip)
Yasmine: Ha! Nice one.
Undulen: Have you forgotten i have made the finale before!
Richard: (catches up) Those two are made for each other. Are you ok?
Brian: I'm fine, but our chances at winning arent. We can't let her win!
Wyatt: Ok then, stop talking and start walking!
Richard: Are you going to be bossy to us the whole time.
Wyatt: If you want me to, then sure.
Richard: Alright then you can boss me arou-
Wyatt: HURRY UP! And keep moving!
Richard: Wow, you are better at this than i thought. (Richard and Wyatt leave)
Lacey: Brian! we need to hurry!
Brian: I know. (Brian and Lacey leave)
Yasmine: Oh my gosh! That is Heather!
Undulen: What. Who is she.
Yasmine: Show a little respect, she won season 3, like me! It's a sign this show was made for me to win!
Undulen: Sure thing.
Heather: Do you losers want your question, or not.
Yasmine: We want it! What is it?
Heather: Why did i get eliminated in season 1 of actual total drama! Not thins dump of a tv show.
Undulen: It isn't a dump since it has me, but it was because you refused to get your hair shaved.
Heather: Stupidly, thats correct. Here is your left foot of bones.
Yasmine: These are surprisingly creepy but sure.
Brian: We made it!
Richard: In a tie with us, so don't think you are getting ahead that easily.
Heather: Shut up already! Just let me say the stupid question!
Brian: Wait you are Heather!
Richard: Yeah, that explains why you are being so rude.
Heather: Whatever nerd, your question is. Why did i get eliminated in season 1 of total drama?
Brian/Richard: Because you wouldn't let Chef shave your head.
Heather: Correct, heres your fake dead left foot. Great, i am done now.
DJ: Hey girl, what is your name!
Yasmine: My name is none of your business and i want to win that money so hurry up.
Undulen: Oooh! Shots fired!
DJ: Hey, just trying to become an acquaintance.
Yasmine: WHAT IS THE STUPID QUESTION!
DJ: Why did you have to say that! (sniff)
Yasmine: You aren't crying, are you.
DJ: Who won Total Drama Island?
Yasmine: Duh! Owen! Now give me the cadaver!
DJ: Ok, here is your right foot. Go!
Brian: Woohoo! We are ahead of Richard! Now time to find Yasmine!
Lacey: Uh, thats DJ!
Brian: Wait really, hey dude. Why are you crying?
DJ: The girl ahead of you was being so rude for no reason!
Brian: Ugh, typical Yasmine.
Lacey: What did she say that was so bad it made you cry?
DJ: Never, mind. I don't want to slow you down!
Lacey: If we tell you then you'll be ok!
DJ: Don't worry. I'll be fine! Anyway, who won Total Drama Island?
Brian: Owen. Are you sure you are fine.
DJ: Yep. Now, don't worry. Just go. Oh and here is your right dead foot.
Lacey: Thanks DJ. Later. (Brian and Lacey run up)
Wyatt: Richard hurry up! We are falling behind!
Richard: I know, i am just tired. (Wyatt blows a whistle)
Wyatt: So what! This is 2 million dollars we are talking about. Are you sure you want to see Yasmine standing at the top of the mountain rubbing her money in your face?
Richard: Definitely not! But i am still tired.
Wyatt: You have to be kidding m- oh there is DJ. Want to answer the next question now?
Richard: Sure, why not.
DJ: Hi guys. Do you want your question now?
Wyatt: Yeah that would be nice. What is it?
DJ: Who won Total Drama Island?
Richard: Hmm. I don't know.
Wyatt: WHAT! This is easy! Its Owen! How could you not get that!
Richard: I don't watch Total Drama much! Anyway if you are wrong i am eliminated you know that. So you better be right.
DJ: Don't worry its correct. Now here is a right foot to add to your collection! Good luck!
Richard: Thanks. (Wyatt and Richard leave)
Richard(CONF): This is exactly the reason why i chose Wyatt. He actually watches Total Drama and he has won a season AND he also has been in the most episodes. I have a good chance to win with him.
Yasmine: Move those chicken legs of yours! Mush mush!
Undulen: Do i look like a sledge dog to you?
Yasmine: No, because sledge dogs look smarter. Anyway, here is the third stop. Is that Justin from season 2!
Justin: Indeed it is lady.
Yasmine: Yeah.. (looks dreamily into his eyes)
Undulen: Uh Yasmine! Concentrate! Besides, i am cuter than him.
Yasmine: Eew! No!
Justin: I agree, i am hotter.
Yasmine: Ok enough arguing. What is my question?
Justin: Uh. How did i get eliminated in season 2 of total drama.
Undulen: Duh! Courtney manipulated you into thinking that you 2 could date, then betraying you for immunity. But i am still a better strategist.
Yasmine: No i am!
Undulen: No i am! And Justin was even worse. I mean. Look at that face. He thinks that girls like that. (slaps Justin)
Justin: Oh no! My modelling contract! Look i could say you were wrong but i would loose my paycheck. So unfortunately, you are correct. And here is you left calf.
Undulen: Ok thanks ugly boy. Bye!
Justin: Grr! I'll show him who isn't pretty-
Brian: Um hi Justin. Can we get our question please?
Justin: Oh yeah. How did i get eliminated in Total Drama Action.
Lacey: By Courtney getting to you head and distracting you. Basically.
Justin: True, but joke is on her now. She is going to be in envy when she sees my paycheck for being a model.
Lacey: Yeah, woo, i don't care. Can we have the next part now?
Justin: Fine, here is your left calf. Would you want my autograph too?
Lacey: As hot as you are, my boyfriend is hotter. Besides, we are in a race. I can't talk to you for long. So opposite of aloha to you!
Justin: How does she know i am from Hawaii. Eh. Anyway I-
Richard: Justin. We have some serious catching up to do.
Justin: Ugh do i ever get a break?
Wyatt: Try being a contestant.
Justin: I was a contestant. A LONG time ago.
Richard: When you were 83. We know, now can we have our question?
Justin: (rolls eyes) Whatever. How did i get out in season 2 of total drama.
Richard: Wasn't it because Courtney betrayed you?
Richard(CONF): Please say i am right!
Justin: Close enough! Here is your leg and now you can move on.
Wyatt: Wow! You got it right!
Justin: Good! Now i can get a tan!
Yasmine: Is that Lindsay?
Undulen: Wow, she is cuter than i remember.
Yasmine: What. She looks like a 5 year old who just played with their mother's make-up.
Lindsay: Oh hi Yasmine!
Yasmine: How did you know my name.
Lindsay: Chip. I mean Chris told me!
Undulen: Yeah that is great.
Lindsay: Anyway the answer is-
Undulen: Why are you telling us the answer?
Lindsay: Ooh! I forgot to say the question!
Yasmine: Dimwit. (rolls eyes) And Undulen! We could have got the answer right there! You big actually you are really small. You small party pooper!
Undulen: Ooh. Good comeback. Anyway, Lindsay, whats the QUESTION!
Lindsay: Who won Total Drama Action?
Undulen: It was D-
Yasmine: Uh! You nearly screwed it up for us! Courtney won TDA.
Lindsay: Actually, no! Duncan won! I would have also accepted my BF Beth as an answer!
Yasmine: GREAT! So know we have to wait until Brian and Lacey come! Thanks a lot Undulen!
Undulen(CONF): How is it my fault. She is the one who said the answer.
Brian: Ha! We caught up to Yasmine! Yes!
Yasmine: Oh boohoo. i am still gonna beat you!
Brian: Why are you waiting for us!
Lacey: (gasp) They must have got it wrong!
Undulen: I would have got it right for us, but Yucksmine cut me off and said Courtney wo-
Yasmine: Stop giving them hints!
Lindsay: Hi guys! You answer i mean your question is!
Yasmine(CONF): Lindsay and Paul were made for each other.
Lindsay: Who won Total Drama Action?
Brian: Thats easy. Duncan, or Beth.
Lindsay: Correct! You may both leave this cave now! And here are you arms!
Undulen: It isn't a cave. And those are calves or legs. (Brian and Lacey run to next stop)
Yasmine: Great! Now we are behind! Hurry up Undulen!
Richard: I think i saw Yasmine!
Wyatt: Thats a good thing, but we are still in last, so hurry up!
Richard: Hey! Don't need to be so straightforward, i know to hurry!
Wyatt: You told me to be like this, anyway, there is Lindsay!
Richard: Oh hi Lindsay, what is our question?
Lindsay: Wait, where is my card?
Richard: Uh, you are holding it.
Richard(CONF): Lindsay is nice, but man she has lost some brain cells.
Lindsay: Anyway, who won Total Drama Action?
Wyatt: Uh Duncan or Beth, right.
Lindsay: Correct hahaha! You are so smart! You can move on and here is your head!
Richard: That is a leg, but thanks.
Wyatt(CONF): we are still in last, so we have so catching up to do!
Sierra: Oh my gosh! That is Brian and Lacey! And Yasmine and Undulen!
Yasmine: Oh, i know exactly who this is.
Lacey: Oh hi Sierra.
Sierra: Hi Lacey! Anyway, do you want to meet Cody?
Brian: Oh uh, sure! We would love too! But not now!
Sierra: Do you know where Cody is, i don't want anyone touching hi-
Undulen: Can you hurry up with the question!
Brian: For once, i agree with Undulen.
Sierra: Hmph! Fine! How did i get eliminated!
Undulen: Because yo-
Yasmine: Oh this one is easy! Heather and Alejandro voted for you so it went to a tiebreaker and you lost!
Sierra: Um, actually. No. That isn't what happened.
Undulen: Yeah! Now they are going to take the lead!
Yasmine: Unless they get it wrong to-
Brian: It was because you accidentally blew up the plane because of Cody's birthday cake.
Sierra: Correct! Here is your connected upper leg! Now you have the lead! Hurry up! You are halfway through! OMG! I love being a host!
Lacey: Thanks, bye Yasmine! Have fun getting eliminated!
Yasmine: GRRRRRRRR! (Brian and Lacey leave)
Wyatt: Woohoo! We caught up!
Richard: There is the true megafan.
Yasmine: Are we really tied with these losers!
Wyatt: Uh yeah.
Sierra: (gasp) IT IS WYATT! The winner of Total Drama Clash of the Action!
Wyatt: Ugh, the fame follows you everywhere.
Yasmine: Why are you complaining about the fame.
Wyatt: Like you should worry, you won't ever win!
Undulen: Ooh burned Yasmine!
Yasmine: Now really isn't the time!
Sierra: Sorry! Anyway, would you like your question?
Richard: Yes! What is it?
Sierra: How did i get eliminated in World Tour!
Wyatt: Cause you blew up the plane last seaso-
Sierra: Only because i was making a birthday card for my cody-kins! But yes. And here is you're thighs. Now go and win Richard!
Richard: Thanks Sierra, and bye!
Yasmine: Undulen! Hurry! They got away and now WE are in last! Stop being such a slacker!
Undulen(CONF): Wow, and i thought i was rude.
Brian: Heather won world tour.
Duncan: Kinda, it is considered, so you can go, with your body.
Lacey: Thanks Dunca-
Duncan: DON'T say thanks to me.
Wyatt: Alejandro and Heather won world tour.
Richard: How do you know that?
Wyatt: I told you i watch this show!
Duncan: Uh Kings of dorkness, do you want the body or what. Actually, i could totally prank my mum with these.
Richard: DUNCAN! Hurry up!
Duncan: Wow, who thought you were a screamer. Just go.
Yasmine: Alejandro won world tour!
Duncan: Yeah. Whatever the little womani-
Undulen: Uh Duncan, where is our body.
Duncan: Oh right dorkus. Now leave.
Brian: Cameron won season 4 and Zoey won season 5.
Dakota: Uh, yeah correct. And Lacey, you really need to find yourself a new style, that is really hard to-
Lacey: Gee, thanks. Can i have our left arm now?
Dakota: Oh yeah, just let me have my beauty sleep!
Dakota: Ok! Go! Take them!
Richard: Wasn't it Cameron who won season 4 and mike who won season 5?
Dakota: Yeah, and you look like a Cameron yourself, i mean, look at that outfit! Barf!
Richard: Uh, thanks. Can i have my stuff please?
Dakota: Oh sure, sorry!
Wyatt: Its fine, whatever. We have to go now.
Yasmine: Undulen! Move it! Anyway Lightning won season 4 and Zoey won season 5.
Dakota: Correct, and also Undulen, you might wan't to rethink the party hat.
Undulen: WHAT! It isn't my fault i am wearing it!
Yasmine: I do agree.
Undulen: (rolls eyes) Yasmine! Lets catch up to those annoying losers ok!
Yasmine: Exactly what i was planning.
Topher: Hey! We are tuned in at the finale and Brian and Lacey have the lead, who will win! Find out when w-
Brian: Topher? We kinda need our question now.
Topher: Do you want to see my hosting skills in actio- (Lacey slaps Topher)
Lacey: HURRY UP! We aren't going to be here all day!
Topher: Ok! Fine! Which teen won in the epice finale of Total! Drama! Pahkitew ISLAND!
Brian(CONF): So dramatic (rolls eyes)
Brian: Shawn or Sky.
Topher: That is. Drum roll please audience!(10 second silence) CORRECT!
Lacey: Took you long enough! Now where is our right arm!
Topher: Over there campers! You may proceed.
Topher: With Brian and Lacey taking a lead to the second last checkpoint, will Richard and Yasmine be able to keep up! Or will Brian extend his head! And who will win this 2 million dollars! So many questions! Well stay tuned to find out on the finale of Total! Drama! Life of-
Wyatt: Uh Topher?
Richard: Who is that again?
Wyatt: Topher! From season 6!
Topher: We are back, with Wyatt and Richard about to answer their eighth question! Will they get it right or-
Topher: Sheesh! Can't a host do his job?
Wyatt: Not if he is slowing down his contestants! What is our question?
Topher: Who won Total Drama Pahkitew Island?
Richard: Uh, Shawn and Sky?
Topher: That is, say it with me now, correct! Why didn't anyone say it with me!
Wyatt: Because we are in a rush and don't have time for this? Now give us our right arm!
Richard: Wow Wyatt! I have never seen you so demanding!
Wyatt: You told me to act like your boss! Now lets move!
Yasmine: Ok! We have a lot of ground to make up! But we will still wi-
Topher: I am here with the final duo! Undulen who is helping Yasmine! Will they get it right, because getting it wrong means they are out!
Yasmine: HURRY UP!
Undulen: Yeah, stop acting like Chris! Besides, if anyone should be in front of a camera it should be me!
Yasmine: Theres the Undulen i know.
Topher: Why does everyone hate my hosting skills! Anyway, your question is............... who won Total Drama Pahkitew Island!
Yasmine: Ok, since apparently i am the one who screws up more, you are going to answer this question, and if you get it wrong you wi-
Undulen: Don't worry! And if i get it right and we win, i get 250 thousand! Deal?
Yasmine: Fine deal, i still get 1.75 million dollars. Anyway your answer is?
Undulen: Sky and
Undulen(CONF): I forgot if it was Shawn or Sugar! I am pretty sure i know though.
Topher: That is....................incorrect!
Yasmine: (gasp) WHAT! WHAT WAS IT!
Topher: It was actually Sky and Shawn! Which means, you have been eliminated! Go walk down to the base of the mountains! You are done with this game!
Yasmine: I FOUGHT SO HARD! I WENT THROUGH SO MANY ELIMINATIONS! SO MANY HATERS! AND THIS IS HOW IT ENDS? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Undulen: Uh Yasmine, calm down. I lost in the finale too-
Yasmine: YEAH BUT AT LEAST IT WAS YOUR FAULT YOU LOST! YOU RUINED MY CHANCES! THERE IS NO WAY I AM GOING BACK DOWN THERE! I HAVE TO MAKE THEM LOSE THEIR LITTLE CADAVERS!
Undulen: Do i have to come?
Yasmine: WHAT! And you ruin my chances again! NEVER!
Undulen: Thank goodness!
Topher: Well too bad, cause we might get security to come here and get you.
Yasmine: WHATEVER! I WANT MY LAWYER!
Brian: I think i heard Yasmine! She got eliminated!
Lacey: Yes! Finally! It took her long enough! I am surprised she even made it to the finale!
Brian: Well, now there are only 2 people stopping me from winning a million dollars! Wyatt and Richard.
Lacey: Wait, why is Mrs McLean here?
Mrs McLean: Eh, cause i have to ask you a question about Total Drama: Clash of the Action, and its going to be a hard one.
Lacey: Please i have watched that show like 20 times, whats the question!
Mrs McLean: Wow. Usted esta determined. Your question is, how did Wyatt win in the finale?
Brian: Because he held on which no-one noticed, and when i think Isaac and Flo knocked each other off, he won.
Mrs McLean: That is.... Correct! Here is your neck! And you may go to the last question!
Brian: Thanks! We have to go win now! Woohoo!
Mrs McLean: No hay problema!
Lacey(CONF): I don't believe my boyfriend is so close to winning! Yes!
Wyatt: There is? Huh? Mrs McLean? Ok.
Richard: We should hurry. Brian and Lacey are ahead of us and there is only one question left.
Mrs McLean: Ok. hi hombre.
Richard: Why do you always switch between Spanish and English?
Mrs McLean: Cause i wanna! DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
Wyatt: It can be weird to listen to you sometimes, anyway what is our question?
Mrs McLean: In season 2, how did Olivia beat Undulen to win the money?
Wyatt: Is it bad if i forgot?
Richard: Not really, because i remember, Olivia beat Undulen in a vote off. I think it was 6-5.
Mrs McLean: Yep, that is correct. Now go! And here is your neck!
Wyatt: Richard! We have to hurry if we want to win!
Richard: Then stop talking and start running!
Brian: Wow, there is the last question. Get it right and I can throw this of the mountain as a champion.
Lacey: Eeek! I am so excited for you!
Theodore: Ok maggots. I am going to ask ye your final question.
Brian: Ok. Please hurry, I don't want Richard and Wyatt to catch up to us!
Theodore: I could not say it at all! Ungrateful youngins.
Lacey: Theodore, please say it. We really need to answer this question quickly.
Theodore: Fine, name the challenge for all the episodes of the merge this season, in chronological order.
Brian: Ok, i will do this one. In the first merged challenge us nine raced to the hospital, in the second one we had to clean bathrooms, the third one required us to get back to the school by train because Chris was coming back. After that we had to build something a baby would use and the challenge last time was to go through an obstacle course and then we had to act and look old. Today we are, being tested of our knowledge of our total drama series and the actual series, while wearing party hats, singing a song and getting parts of a cadaver to throw of a mountain. (breaths heavily)
Lacey: That was a lot of information.
Theodore: Well lucky for you youngins it is correct! You can now move one to the mountain where you throw all those body parts off. And here is the face.
Brian: I really got that all right? YES!
Lacey: Come on! We have 2 million dollars to get!
Richard: There is Theodore!
Wyatt: I guess he is going to ask us our question.
Theodore: Alright, do you want your final question?
Wyatt: Well duh. Even though i know i am not going to get any one the money, i would like to wi-
Richard: When did i say that, if i did this challenge alone i would be out by now! So thanks and if i win, i will give so some of my money.
Wyatt: For real! But i already won, or sued and got a milllion!
Richard: You helped me get my 2 million. But don't worry about that now. Theodore, what is our question?
Theodore: Whatever, name all the challenges this season from the post merge.
Richard: I got this Wyatt. In the first challenge the nine of us raced to the hospital, then the 8 of us remaining help around the hospital by cleaning the bathrooms. After that, the top 7 were sent back by train to try and get there before Chris came back, then Chris make us make something for a baby while we had to shoo the students and teachers out of the school. In the last challenge we had to do an obstacle course then get a makeover to look 65 and say something that you agreed with. Today we had to sing a song, wear party hats and collect body parts as we answered questions about Total Drama. Am i right?
Theodore: Yes you are whippersnapper, now here is your face and go!
Wyatt: Thanks Theodore, bye!
Theodore: FINALLY! No more major jobs for me! I can finally have a bre- (all contestants plus Eric and Hannah race up mountain) Hey! Watch where you are going!
Olivia: Oh bite us! We are going to watch my boyfriend win!
Brian: Yes! Ok! We are at the top!
Lacey: Here is the wheelbarrow! Do you want the stuff now?
Brian: Duh. We need to hurry before Wyatt and Richard get here!
Lacey: I don't believe we are going to win 2 million dollars!
Brian: Well, before we start (kisses Lacey)
Lacey: Oh! What was that for?
Brian: Just for luck.
Lacey: Really, now i'm flattered.
Richard: (gasps for breath) Its too late. They have already started throwing.
Wyatt: No it isn't!
Richard: Wyatt, lets be real. Brian is going to win. And i am going to cry myself to sleep.
Wyatt: Get up! Do you know how i won. I found my underdog strength and i held on and didn't give up!
Richard: Thats different. He has like 7 pieces left.
Wyatt: Stop complaining! I did not answer all those questions just so you would quit at the final second! Just think about all that Yasmine did to you, Olivia, Paul, all of them! You can't give up now! Not when you are so close! Ok, you are a smart guy, so think of something! And fast!
Richard: Ok, fine. I'll try, but it is just going to dissapoint me later.
Richard(CONF): I think i have an idea.
Brian: Three, (throws the right arm in)
Lacey: Two! (throws the neck in)
Brian: AND ON- wait is that a flying chemistry boo- (Richard takes last piece and runs)
Lacey: BRIAN! SNAP OUT OF IT!
Brian: What? Did we win?
Lacey: NO! Richard has our last piece!
Richard: If Yasmine can be a villain, so can i! (Wyatt pushes wheelbarrow of mountain.)
Brian: WHAT! RICHARD! NOOOOOO!
Lacey: Why didn't we think of pushing the wheelbarrow of.
Brian: Too late to regret it. (sigh)
Chris: Richard! (walks up mountain) Congratulations! You have won! Total Drama, Life of Iqaluit!
Richard: I won? I WON! I WON!
Wyatt: Told you to trust in yourself.
Brian: Good job Richard, you deserve that money.
Yasmine: NO HE DOESN'T!
Paul: Yasmine, shut up and let him have his moment.
Yasmine: But i am the glorious one!
Undulen: Ok, i know i can be mean, and this is going to be really hypocrite-like of me, but YASMINE! Learn your lesson! YOU LOST! You get used to it! Now shut up before i push you off this mountain!
Yasmine: Grr! I am going to kill all of you!
Julia: Ignore that bitter woman.
Olivia: Richard! I am so proud of you!
Chris: But! We have to award Richard his cash! Here is your mega 2 million dollar cheque!
Richard: Do i really own that cheque!
Chris: Yes, you do. Congrats.
Richard: This is unreal.
Attica: Come on, take it, its yours!
Chris: Do any of you have anything to say before i rap up?
Richard: Not really. I just want to give a thanks to Olivia, Wyatt, Attica, Lacey and Brian. They really were my biggest helpers this season and i don't think i could have won without them. So i will give each of them 100,000 dollars.
Olivia: Really! Thanks Richard!
Brian: But i am the one who lost to you!
Richard: But i know you fought hard and though you may sometimes go overboard, at least you are somewhat nice about it!
Brian: No, i don't want your money, i don't deserve it.
Richard: Are you sure because i am fine with giving you the money!
Brian: Yes, i am sure.
Richard: Well, then i will give that 100,000 to Mnet. Cause i see you going places.
Mnet: Really! Thanks Richard!
Richard: It was nothing. I still have 1.5 million dollars!
Chris: Are you done?
Richard: (sigh) Yep.
Chris: Well ok then. Before i finish up this season, i would like to say a special announcement to make. Well, i was planning to finish this season a few days earlier, so we could do a Christmas themed Total Drama Special. It was supposed to be the 12 days of Christmas. But either way, i couldn't start it on time. So starting on the 20th of December, we will have a 6 day series on all stuff from this season. Like, statistics, eliminations, and some sneak peaks for season 4! But the one thing i will tell you know is that, season 4 won't feature these contestants!
Flo: Great! So i will never win. (sigh)
Chris: Don't worry because season 5 is all stars, and most of you will be in it as well as some of the people from season 4!
Contestants: But i don't want to compete again!
Hannah: Guys! It could be fun!
Steph: No, it won't be fun. I hope i don't make it in.
Chris: Anyway, it will be on blogs on Jsh27845. So please check that out to show me that people actually care about this series! Because i don't know who reads it and i would like to know your favourite moments, characters etc. So, I am here with our winner Richard! Signing of for the last time! Say it with me TOTAL DRAMA LIFE OF IQALUIT!