CK presents the third story in his series! Sixteen teenagers are whisked away to a tropical island resort in the South Pacific to win one million dollars. They'll be split up into two teams of eight, compete in questionable challenges, and vote each other out until one contestant remains to win it all. Which of the sixteen "lucky" teens will go big...and which ones will go home?
Characters
Host
Chris McLean, the host of the Total Drama series
Contestants
Aly
Angie
Byran
Catelyn
Colin
Cyrus
Elizabeth
Erik
Judd
Karin
Matthew
Mitch
Parvati
Raechel
Sean
Skylia
Episodes
Episode 1: Resorts Are the New Campsites
As the television screen fades in, a recognizable figure wearing nothing but sunglasses and swim trunks appears in a white poolside chair. This man is holding a drink contained in a split coconut with a bendy straw protruding from its surface. Behind him are two moderately sized cottages surrounded by lush palm trees.
"Oh, hello, there!" The figure removes his sunglasses. "I'm your host, Chris McLean, but seeing as you're tuning in to this show, I think you'd know that." He flashes his iconic smirk that emanates nothing but a need for money and ratings. "After we were kindly removed from the film lot in Palau where we hosted last season, the Total Drama franchise has relocated to this wonderful resort in the South Pacific." The camera zooms out to reveal a surprisingly tropical and somewhat beautiful beach environment. A couple of seconds pass, and Chris becomes the show's main focus once more. He sips his drink on-camera. "Refreshing!"
The camera pans to a scene of Chris, fully clothed, walking on a beach. "This season, we're taking sixteen teenagers and generously giving them a new home for the next forty-two days. They'll be divided into two teams of eight, competing in challenges every three days to win invincibility, which saves them from having to vote out one of their own. For the lucky victim...er, contestant, that is able to conquer the other fifteen new faces, is one million dollars!"
Chris now re-appears in front of the two cottages. "Where will they be living?" He laughs and points to the two moderate-sized buildings behind him. "In these things! It's the most money we've ever spent on a Total Drama season! Thanks to last season's high ratings as well as a few minor budget cuts, we're actually able to give these people an okay place to lay their heads."
A time lapse reveals that it is now nighttime. Chris is standing over a fire pit by the previously shown pool. "At the end of forty-two grueling days, one contestant will win whatever's inside this!" Chris picks up a metal briefcase. "Which, hopefully, is the aforementioned million dollars. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will even be on this show? That's coming up right now on Total! Drama! South Pacific!"
After the famous (albeit shortened) Total Drama theme music played alongside shots of the contestants, Chris is shown standing on the beach once again. In the distance, two large helicopters are flying over the ocean towards Chris. "Making their way to this luxurious island resort are the sixteen contestants competing on this season of Total Drama. They are flying towards me in those helicopters along with their teammates." Close up shots of the helicopter are shown.
"The helicopter on the left," a voiceover from Chris announces, "contains the eight contestants on the Ecstatic Eagles team!"
One of these contestants, a tall brunette, is displayed while she receives her own voiceover.
"Looking around, the other contestants around me look pretty useless. All of them just look like...idiots, really," she says. The name Aly is displayed at the bottom of the screen.
A tall, tan, attractive boy suddenly becomes the camera's focus.
"There's a couple of hot chicks here, but they don't really strike me as people I'd hook up with. There are, however, some bros that look like pretty chill people. I can't wait to meet them," he explains. Similar to the previous voiceover, the name Colin appears onscreen.
Another male is displayed on the screen. This one is wearing bright clothes and seems to be bursting with personality; however, he is staring at the ground and mostly keeping to himself.
"Most people here probably won't know who I am," he says as the name Cyrus appears, "but I do have about five hundred thousand people who watch me make videos on MyTube. I run a fabulous daily vlogging channel. Really, anyone who wants to can stalk my daily life." Cyrus laughs. "I don't think it gives me any celebrity value, but it would be kinda cool to meet one of my fans on this show."
The camera zooms out from the helicopter and focuses back on Chris. "Colorful bunch, right? In the other helicopter are the eight contestants who will be known as the Popular Pandas. Take a look!"
Shots from inside the Popular Pandas' helicopter are displayed. There is a focus on a short, thin yet muscular guy with brown hair.
"I consider myself somewhat of an athlete, but that doesn't really give you any sort of an edge in Total Drama," he says as his name is revealed to be Mitch. "I only see one other guy who looks like he does any sort of physical activity, and I bet he thinks he's a hotshot. But the bigger they are, the harder they fall, and I think he's gonna fall really hard."
The mentioned muscular guy is now shown on screen. His name, Judd, is shown.
"I mean, yeah, I live in Canada now, but I lived in the southern United States for about eight years." His voice is heavy with a thick southern accent. "I just moved back to Toronto last year, I'm literally so out of touch with everything in the world. Like, wanna ride horses? Yeah, didn't think so."
A tall, tan, attractive girl with light brown hair is shown looking down into the ocean.
"There's so many little cute guys here who probably have never been in a relationship before!" She giggles, and her name is shown to be Parvati. "I can see this little scrawny guy who's probably never kissed a girl before. People like that gonna play in perfectly to my game plan." She twirls her hair around her index finger as the camera zooms in on Mitch, who she was referring to.
Chris is now displayed as both helicopters hover over the water. As the doors to the helicopters open, a few contestants peek out.
"Are you gonna jump, or...?" Chris asks expectedly.
Aly stands in front of the open door. "You expect us to do this without a parachute? What are you, mental?"
"I'm not mental," Chris replies, "but you do have to jump out into the ocean if you're gonna play Total Drama! Sorry!" He laughs maliciously.
Out of the Popular Pandas' helicopter, a girl with strawberry blonde hair walks in front of the open door. She faces her teammates. "Well!?" She bears a strong British accent. "Are we gonna jump or what? Get going, people!" She dives into the water.
Chris smiles. "Hey, British girl! What's your name?"
She surfaces from her dive and spits ocean water out of her mouth. "Elizabeth, like the queen herself." Elizabeth looked up towards the helicopter. "And I'm pretty much a queen, so you all had better treat me like one."
"Yeah, okay, sure, whatever, swim over here," Chris says. "Who wants to jump next?"
A fairly mature yet hyper voice booms from inside the Ecstatic Eagles aircraft. "Me! Me! Me! Me!"
Chris raises an eyebrow. "And who are you?"
A tall, pale guy with short, jet-black hair stumbles out of the helicopter door. "Whoa! Oh my god, is someone gonna catch--" He fell in the water.
"I said," Chris begins to get annoyed, "who are you? Like, name?"
The recent fall victim assumes a position right next to Chris.
"How did you get here so fast?" Chris asks.
"Oh my god, hi! My name's Byran! I'm a super huge fan of Total Drama, I do theater, I've been watching Total Drama forever, and oh my god I can't believe I'm meeting you!" Chris begins to back away. "Can I hug you? Is that weird or awkward? I'm really sorry, can I do it anyway?"
Chris shoves Byran away. "Dude! Back off! How much coffee did you drink this morning?"
"Not much, actually," Byran responds. He turns to Elizabeth, who is trying to dry off after swimming. "Hi, Elizabeth!"
"Why should I talk to you?" Elizabeth replies. "We're not on the same team, darling. You're fairly irrelevant to me, honestly."
Chris begins to shout in an annoyed tone. "Okay, it's been like ten minutes, and two contestants have jumped. Can we just land the helicopters?"
As the first official on-screen confessional begins to air, Aly is the one delivering the message. This season's confessional booth appears to be a poolside bar. "Chris making a merciful decision? Shocker."
"Dude, I was so ready to jump into the water, though," Colin says in a confessional. "I swim, so like, I could totally do that. Jumping's kinda scary, but I mean, it's all cool."
The scene cuts away to each team standing in front of their cottage. Chris stands in front of them.
"Welcome to Total Drama: South Pacific!" Once Chris finishes his greeting, the sixteen contestants applaud and cheer. "As you know, the rules of Total Drama include competitions, vote-outs, and other fun things."
"Fun?" An Asian girl asks. "Depends on what you classify as fun."
Chris furrows his brow. "What would your name be, Miss Sass 2014?"
"Karin," she says. "And I'm not really Miss Sass. I'm more of a--"
"Yeah, okay, we'll get to you later," Chris cuts her off. "As you can see, you've been divided into two teams." Chris turns to the team on the left. He begins to speak, but quickly goes silent. "Um... Hold on a second," he says. He takes two small index cards out of his pocket. "Okay, I'm ready. Aly, Byran, Colin, Cyrus, Erik, Karin, Raechel, and Skylia. You guys are the Ecstatic Eagles!" As they cheer, a blue emblem bearing the outline of a bald eagle comes into view.
Erik appears in the confessional area. "I guess you could say that I'm ecstatic to be here." He chuckles. "I hope the first challenge is an art challenge, because I would totally rock that." He points to paint markings on his shirt. "I do a lot of painting and drawing, so that's obviously gonna help my team if the opportunity comes."
"Total Drama is a very stressful and high-strung game, and I can definitely help people out with that," Skylia says in a confessional. "I do a lot of yoga at home. I'm a pretty dedicated yogi, and that helps me keep a really calm mind."
A girl who seems to be of African-Canadian descent appears in the confessional area. "So, on the Eagles team, I spied with my little eye...another famous vlogger!" She begins to smile. "Cyrus should know who I am, too - after all, I vlog too. We're like MyTube royalty. I can't wait to meet him. Just think of it! Catelyn and Cyrus, up there in the final two! That's never happened before."
The scene cuts back to Chris, who is now facing the team on the right. "Angie, Catelyn, Elizabeth, Judd, Matthew, Mitch, Parvati, and Sean! You eight are the Popular Pandas." They cheer as well while a pink emblem featuring the outline of a panda appears.
"Coming onto a show with fifteen other people who I don't know is really out of my comfort zone," Matthew says in a confessional. "I'm already in college, which is surprising for someone my age. I'm used to talking to the same one or two people all the time, since most people at my university are at least two years older than me. It kind of makes me an outcast by circumstance. On this show, everyone is probably sixteen or seventeen, so I don't really have an excuse to not converse with the majority of people. That's going to be difficult."
"People love me because I have a huge personality!" Angie says in a confessional. "I'm a fierce buxom blonde who isn't afraid to be a social butterfly. I belong on the Popular Pandas - because I'm probably gonna be popular! I'm definitely ready to just have a good time and have the most fun I can." She laughs.
Karin appears in the confessional area. "I'm pretty much the social center of my high school. I'm essentially the go-to person for whatever's happening on a Saturday night, and I'm always there at parties or hangouts because I'm that type of girl. That's gonna play out well for me on Total Drama because when it comes time to vote, I'm always going to know what's going down whether the top dogs like it or not." She smiles and winks at the camera.
The scene of Chris standing in front of the two teams reappears. "Now, if you look behind you," Chris says, "you'll see two nice little cottages we built for you to live in. If you hadn't figured out already, that's where you're gonna live this season."
"First, Chris doesn't make us jump out of the helicopter. Now, we get to live in a nice house? Something's up," Matthew says in a confessional. "Chris is never nice."
Chris continues his instructions. "You'll have to cook your own food, which we graciously provide when your fridges are restocked each week. Each house has three rooms and one bathroom. Two rooms are for sleeping, and one is for general conversation. Call it a living room."
Colin raises his hand. "Do guys get to sleep, like, with other girls and stuff? 'Cause, that'd be pretty cool."
"Nope!" Chris says with a smile on his face. "One room is for the not-so-gentlemen, and one is for the ladies."
"Dude, that's lame," Colin replies as he puts his hand down.
Chris clears his throat. "Anyway, if you look behind yourselves, you'll see the white brick path to the pool."
High definition shots of the pool appear on screen as Chris describes what happens by the body of water. "It is there that you guys will vote off the eventual losers. Over by the pool bar, you can give confessionals. These will help us and the audience know what you're really feeling, and they can help you by getting things off your chest. Or, if you really want some alone time." Chris snickers.
The scene returns to Chris and the contestants. "So, your luggage has been...altered a bit, and I'm sure you want to find out what that means. So, you can turn around and get into those houses!"
Everyone cheers as the two teams run into their respective houses.
"Now, I'm a Total Drama expert," Sean says in the confessional area. "I know that I need to be the one to take notes on who's talking around the house. I'm the one to report it here in the confessional. This will help me achieve a Logit rating of Complicated Persona, which is the first stepping stone on the path to victory."
The Ecstatic Eagles burst into their house and rush to claim beds. Karin grabs her luggage, conveniently placed by the door, and crashes into a closed door.
She appears in the confessional area with a bandage on her nose. "Okay, so I was rushing a little bit."
"So, Karin crashes into a door within seconds of entering the house," Aly says in a confessional. "First genius identified," she says as she rolls her eyes.
Aly, Karin, Raechel, and Skylia enter the girls' bedroom. There are four beds in different corners of the room as well as two shelves.
Raechel approaches a bed and puts her suitcase on top of it. "Hi, guys! I'm Raechel. I can't wait to get to know you all over the next few weeks!"
"Weeks?" Karin asks.
Skylia yawns. "Well, she assumes none of us are getting voted off. And that's optimal!" She smiles.
Raechel looks confused. "Voted off? What? What are we voting for?"
Aly smacks her palm against her forehead, and quickly appears in the confessional area. "I don't think Raechel knows what show she's on. I'd like to see the criteria they use to cast this show, because... she probably doesn't even know who Chris is."
The male members of the Eagles, Byran, Colin, Cyrus, and Erik, approaches the guys' bedroom. A camera angle from inside reveals that it looks identical to the other bedroom.
Suddenly, Byran bursts through the door and leaps onto a bed. "I can't believe - like, I literally cannot believe I'm on Total Drama!" He pulls his suitcase onto the bed. "This is insane. I'm so excited. How about you guys?"
Erik raises his eyebrows. "I'd like to know how he got his sugar rush, seeing as we haven't even eaten anything yet," he says in a confessional. "Seriously, this guy is crazy! I love it. But it's gonna get pretty grating."
Back in the bedroom, Colin laughs jokingly at Byran. "Dude, chill out. It's the first hour of Total Drama."
"I know!" Byran exclaims excitedly. "And that's why it's so amazing!"
Cyrus is looking around at his three roommates. "I'm kinda happy that no one has recognized me yet! Whenever I go into a big city, especially in the United States, people are always freaking out because they recognize me. I might be able to play like a normal person now!" He claps. "This is fab."
"So, anyway," Byran says to the other guys, "my name's Byran!" He laughs. "If you couldn't tell, I'm a gargantuan fan of Total Drama. How'd you guys find out about the show?"
After a short silence, Colin says, "I guess I'll go first. My name's Colin, by the way. We watched a few episodes on the way to a swim meet. And I thought it was a pretty chill show. So I applied, and...yeah, man. That's it."
"Well," Erik follows, "I was actually asked by someone to draw their characters for an online Total Drama fan-fiction. I know, kind of loser-y, right? But, yeah, that's how I found out, and I've been a fan ever since."
Cyrus's face lights up. "Wait, are you erik13 from that art website?"
"Yeah!" Erik laughs. "That's cool, I didn't know I had fans."
Cyrus laughs back. "I'm a big internet person. That's also how I found Total Drama, as you could probably deduce. I'm Cyrus."
"Cool," Colin says. "Nice to meet you guys."
The scene quickly shifts to Chris walking along the beach again. "Now that you've met the Ecstatic Eagles, let's take a look inside the Popular Pandas' house!"
Angie, Catelyn, Elizabeth, and Parvati peacefully enter the girls' bedroom.
"Wow, this is so nice!" Angie says.
"Really?" Parvati giggles. "I wouldn't go that far. You haven't even gotten into the bed yet." She giggles again.
Elizabeth glares at Parvati, then rolls her eyes.
"Do you think the guys' bedroom is any different?" Catelyn asks. "Do you think there's, like, footballs and stuff?"
"I don't know, what kind of stuff do guys put in their bedrooms?" Angie asks.
Parvati laughs. "Probably a plethora of trophies and other jock-y, manly stuff." She laughs...again.
"That demon's giggle is going to make me disintegrate!" Elizabeth says in a confessional. "I can't stand it! How am I going to live for three days before I can vote her off?"
The scene switches to Judd, Matthew, Mitch, and Sean entering their gender-specific bedroom.
"It's kinda boring that they won't let us sleep with girls," Mitch says, sitting on his new bed.
Matthew quickly shifts his eyebrows up and down and gives a half-hearted smile while looking down. "I don't think it really matters. We have a third room for stuff like that. Unless they're all antisocial girls, they'll probably be spending time in the living room."
"You never know, dude," Mitch says as he opens up his suitcase. His eyes widen upon opening it.
"Something wrong?" Judd asks. He looks over at Mitch's bed.
Mitch slams his suitcase shut. "All of my freaking stuff is gone except for one change of clothes and a bathing suit!"
"What?!" Judd exclaims as he rushes to open up his suitcase. "Dude! My horse statues are gone! Not cool!"
Mitch snickers. "Horse statues? What are you, some kind of horse whisperer?"
Sean's face lights up, but he quickly appears in the confessional area. "Mitch's horse whisperer comment is definitely going to give his Logit rating a negative tone, meaning he has less of a chance to win if this is consistent. My odds of winning just increased, big time."
"Horses are my thing," Judd replies. "I had pictures, books, everything in here..."
"You probably brought some of their fur, too," Mitch says sarcastically.
Judd glares at him. "Do you mean a sample of the hair from their manes? Because, I mean, that's too darn pretty to just cut off."
Mitch appears in the confessional area, and begins his confessional by imitating a southern accent. "Judd southern's accent is really getting on my nerves, man!" He rolls his eyes. "His horse obsession is frightening. If he doesn't stop talking like an idiotic cowboy, I'm going to break him." He pauses. "Okay, maybe not physical violence, but I'm capable of some really crafty stuff. Just you wait, Judd."
"Yep," Sean says in another confessional. "Mitch will definitely be edited as a minor antagonist. And, Judd's been giving me a lot of first boot vibes. He's really strange and off-putting. Those kinds of people always go first."
Matthew is shown in the confessional area. "So, let's see who I have on my team so far!" He smiles ironically. "I have the really, really annoying horse-obsessed cowboy. I have the guy who looks like he might be a jock, but I do know is that he can't seem to turn off the 'pretentious attitude' switch. Oh, and the weird guy who's just sat in the corner observing us. Fantastic!"
After Matthew's confessional, the Ecstatic Eagles are shown gathering in their living room. There are two blue couches facing each other and a round wooden table between them.
"So, does anyone else do yoga?" Skylia asks.
Raechel smiles. "Yes! I take a class every Saturday. It really helps me maintain my physique. I love it!"
"Oh, that's great!" Byran says while beaming. "We're gonna need that in challenges."
Aly laughs. "You know the first challenge is probably gonna be, like, whoever dies first wins for their team."
Raechel looks concerned. "Die?!" She exclaims. "Can they do that? Is that allowed?"
Aly looks at Raechel, dumbfounded. "Do you actually think--"
"Nope," Cyrus interrupts, "but honestly? I wouldn't put it past Chris. He's sneaky as--"
"Chris?!" Raechel exclaims again, cutting Cyrus off. "Is he playing again? Oh my gosh, he was actually my favorite from Total Drama Islands!"
Cyrus is shown in the confessional area. "You know? At first, I was a bit judgmental of Aly because she was throwing a lot of shade at Raechel. But now that I've found out that she lacks any brainpower? I'm starting to take Aly's side."
"Dude, Chris is the host of this show," Colin explains to Raechel. "He, like, talked to us outside, and stuff."
Raechel's jaw drops. "That was him?! I met my idol and I didn't even recognize him?"
"He looks the same every season," Aly says. "His closet probably has hundreds of the same blue shirt."
"It's iconic," Cyrus follows up.
Raechel is silent.
The scene changes, now showing the Popular Pandas gathering in their living room.
"I still can't believe it, man," Judd says, "they took all our luggage and stuff, man!"
Parvati laughs. "It's fine for me! I brought all my makeup in the front pocket. Chris didn't check that one."
"I didn't carry anything important," Matthew says.
"Wait, Parvati," Angie says, ignoring Matthew, "you still have makeup?"
Catelyn takes out her makeup bag. "I do too, girl!"
"Oh my god, thank you so much, bae!" Angie says as she looks into Catelyn's makeup bag.
Mitch says in a confessional, "I can't believe she just said bae. I didn't even know that was a serious thing."
Sean is shown in the confessional area. "Catelyn coming to Angie's rescue? That's gonna give her a few positivity points. She has to go early, or she could be a huge contender for the winner's edit!"
"Do you have mascara?" Angie asks as she rummages through the small pouch.
"Oh, no, sorry, I don't do eye products," Catelyn replies. "I've been afraid of them ever since I poked my eye trying to apply eyeliner once."
"Oh my god, that's terrible!" Angie says compassionately. "I'm so sorry."
Mitch snickers. "Must be the worst thing ever."
Catelyn turns to him. "Have you ever applied eyeliner? It takes a lot of work."
"How is makeup any form of work at all?" Mitch asks.
"Have you ever applied eyeliner?" Catelyn asks.
Mitch blinks. "No, but..."
"There." Catelyn turns to Parvati. "Parv, you have any eyeliner for him to try on? He needs a bit of truth tea spilled."
"What the heck is truth tea?" Matthew asks.
Judd scratches his head. "Is it some kind of a minty flavor?"
Parvati looks at them and laughs. "It's an expression! You should know it!"
There is a pause as Judd blinks. "So what flavor is it?"
Elizabeth appears in the confessional area looking annoyed. "I swear to God. My entire team is full of bloody imbeciles! You have the vapid, overrated, demonic idiot girls who I despise already. They can't go for a second without asking how their hair looks, or how they should put their makeup on. The guys aren't as bad because they never talk...but when they do, nothing worth my time comes out of their mouths. I almost want to be voted out first!"
Angie appears in the confessional area. "Right now, I just have to play it cool and come off as completely harmless and definitely not a threat. It may not matter to the other girls, but I can tell that at least two of the guys, Matthew and Sean, are going to be big game players. Sean's extremely observant and Matthew always talks like he knows what he's talking about. I have to look like a dumb blonde for now. They can't know what I'm really thinking!" She giggles.
"I don't know what that Angie girl is thinking," Matthew says in a confessional, "because she's acting dumb as a boulder and I can see right through it! The problem is, I don't know how to talk to her. But, I don't know if I want to." He shrugs his shoulders.
Catelyn, Angie, and Parvati are shown exchanging cosmetic products on the couch.
"You have turquoise eye shadow?" Catelyn says to Parvati. "You seriously have everything!"
"I know! It's a talent of mine, not gonna lie," Parvati responds. They both laugh. Soon after, Parvati appears in the confessional area. "I'm getting along great with the other girls. I think that was gonna be a given, seeing as I'm pretty much a Popular Panda in my daily life. And the guys should be easy, too. I'm not ugly, so they shouldn't have an issue talking to me." She laughs.
"I still can't stand her laugh," Elizabeth says in a quick confessional.
Aly, Cyrus, and Skylia are shown together in one of the Ecstatic Eagles' bedrooms.
"So," Cyrus says, "what do you think of our team?"
"I don't know," Skylia says. "A lot of them seem really...intense. Especially Byran."
"Yeah, you were the one who does yoga, right?" Cyrus asks. Skylia nods.
"Sounds like Byran could use some of that," Aly says. "If his mouth produces one more run-on sentence, I'm gonna do some bad things. What about that clueless broad, Raechel?"
"Obviously, her first time hearing about Total Drama was when she looked at the application," Cyrus says. "You'd think the producers would force them to watch a season, but obviously they didn't even take the time to do that."
Aly rolls her eyes. "She probably didn't even send in an application. In the realm of reality television these days, recruits are the new fans."
"Speaking of recruits," Cyrus begins, "I'm, like, ninety percent sure that Colin was only recruited for his body."
"Not gonna lie, he's probably the hottest guy on this show," Aly says.
Skylia's face lights up. "I love Colin!" Aly and Cyrus look at her. "Well, not love, but I love the first impression I got from him. He's so laid-back."
"Let me guess," Aly says, "just like you?" She gasps sarcastically.
Skylia playfully shoves her. "Oh, stop it! I'm not even looking for a relationship."
Aly laughs. "Hey, no one said you were until now."
Cyrus intervenes. "All right, break it up, huns."
"Did you just call us 'huns'? I've never heard a guy say that," Aly replies.
"Oh, shut up!" Cyrus laughs. "It's a stupid thing, I'm trying to work it out of my vocabulary. What do you think of Erik?"
"From what I know, all he's good for is painting. He's about as much of a dud as Raechel in my eyes," Aly explains.
Skylia tilts her head to the side. "He seems like a cool guy! Artists are always really cool. My brother paints, and I pretty much like him better than either of my parents." She turns to Cyrus. "What about you?"
"Well, he might be a huge fan of Total Drama," Cyrus says. "When we were first moving in, he told us that he draws art for online Total Drama fans."
"What kind of online Total Drama fans even are there?" Aly asks.
"Well, it's not like they're all complete hermits," Cyrus starts.
"Then what would they be?" Aly counters. "They sound like the types of people who live in a cave with Wi-Fi."
"As I was saying," Cyrus continues, "they're not all hermits. I used to do a lot of TD fan stuff online. Clearly I don't live in a cave." Cyrus laughs.
Skylia laughs. "Did you just call Total Drama 'TD'?"
Aly snickers. "You got me there," she says to Cyrus, "but seriously, 'TD'?"
"Shut up!" Cyrus laughs.
Judd, Parvati, and Sean are now talking together in one of the Popular Pandas' bedrooms.
"I still can't believe that darn Chris got all our stuff," Judd complains. "I mean, that's not right, y'know?"
Parvati laughs. "I'm fine, because I love these clothes anyway, and he didn't get into my makeup bag. So, that's all taken care of."
"I'm not fine, y'know?" Judd replies. "I had, like, four of my horse statues in there, and a bunch of pictures and stuff!"
"What are you?" Parvati giggles. "Some kind of horse whisperer?"
Judd looks infuriated. "Why does everybody keep saying that? Y'know, it's like havin' a cat or a dog or something," he says. "You're gonna miss 'em when you're gone, y'know?"
"I don't bring cat statues!" Parvati laughs. "I just bring out the claws." She pretends to purr.
Sean looks disturbed. "You bring your cat's claws with you?!" He shudders. "That's mental! Isn't that animal cruelty?"
Parvati laughs...again. "It's a metaphor, silly!"
Judd appears in the confessional area. "I mean, I thought it was a pretty cool idea, but I guess Sean didn't, and neither did Parv, y'know?"
Back in the bedroom, Parvati turns her attention to Judd. "Didn't you say you swam?"
Judd blushes. "Not much. I prefer horseback riding, y'know?"
Parvati rolls her eyes playfully. "I could have guessed that one."
Sean appears in the confessional area. "I hate talking to Judd and Parvati. All Judd does is talk about his stupid horses, and all Parvati does is laugh and flirt. It's annoying as heck! They're obviously pre-merge boots, their edits are gonna be terrible. I hate them already."
"I wonder if the other team has realized their stuff is gone, y'know?" Judd asks. "I bet none of 'em are as heartbroken as I am."
"Are you really heartbroken? Like, it's just horse status." Parvati giggles.
"And pictures!" Judd snaps. "Anyway, it looks like there's a bunch of muscular dudes on the other team, y'know? What are they gonna miss?"
Parvati thinks for a second. "That really hyper guy is gonna miss caffeine dosage." She laughs. "I think seeing Chris will rejuvenate him every morning, though. The kid was freaking out when he saw Chris!"
"Did someone just say my name?" A familiar figure enters the room. The figure is revealed to be none other than Chris McLean.
"Hey, Chris! What's up?" Parvati asks.
"Your first challenge! That's what's up!" Chris exclaims. "Get your swimsuits on and report to the beach in ten minutes!"
The scene now shows both teams, in their swimwear, together on the beach.
Chris is facing the two teams. "So, how'd the first couple of hours go?"
"Terrible!" Judd shouts.
Chris laughs sadistically. "I assume the Popular Pandas have noticed the first of many budget cuts this season?"
Angie looks at Chris angrily. "All of my makeup is gone. That was, like, two hundred dollars worth of mascara!"
"Maybe you can win the money and buy some more!" Chris replies. "Any other complaints?"
"Yeah," Erik says. "What are they talking about?"
"We're talking about how our suitcases got emptied," Mitch answers. "Didn't you look?"
"All of my stuff was there," Skylia says. "Even my yoga mats!"
"You're kidding me, right, Chris?" Mitch looks at Chris, astonished.
Chris snickers. "Luggage for both teams just wasn't in the money this season! Be glad you're sleeping on a real bed."
"Yeah, whatever." Mitch folds his arms and rolls his eyes.
Chris clears his throat. He announces, "Welcome to your first ever Total Drama challenge!" Everyone cheers.
Byran is jumping up and down energetically. "What's it gonna be?! What's it gonna be?!"
"For your first challenge," Chris explains, "we thought that we'd do something a bit...safer than what we normally do."
"Oh, great!" Aly says sarcastically. "Now I only have a ninety-eight percent chance of dying today."
Chris glares at her. "Shut up." He turns to the ocean. "Anyway, if you look over to your left, our unpaid interns are attempting to move two certain boats over here to shore."
The scene shows all sixteen contestants gasping at the sight of the boats, which have not been on screen yet.
"I guess that's where the budget cut came from..." Judd says.
"Are we gonna be safer than those interns?" Mitch asks.
Raechel puts her hand over her mouth. "One of them is gonna pass out!"
"Oh, bloody heck! Get them over here!" Elizabeth complains.
As the episode fades out, Chris snickers. "This is gonna be a wild ride."
To Be Continued...
Episode 2: Loose Lips Sink Viking Ships
Scenes of the sixteen new Total Drama contestants arriving at their new homes display on the screen as Chris begins the first recap of the season in a voiceover. "Last time on Total Drama: South Pacific! Sixteen brand new teens were flown in to start one of our craziest seasons yet! After being divided into two teams, they took up residence in two fairly high budget houses. The guys and girls started to bond with each other immediately, with some bonding over horse statues and others bonding over makeup. The Popular Pandas were super excited to learn that all of their luggage was removed! The Ecstatic Eagles were ecstatic when they realized that theirs wasn't. After a while, yours truly asked everyone to gather on the beach. And that's where we are!" The scene shows Chris on the beach with the sixteen contestants, just like the first episode ended. "Let's find out who will dominate the challenge right here, right now, on Total! Drama! South Pacific!"
As the scene fades in after the shortened theme song, Chris and the sixteen contestants are watching two large boats come into view.
"Holy freak, that's wild," Karin says, gasping.
Matthew looks at Chris with a furrowed brow. "How did you even afford this?"
Chris snickers. "I never said we didn't make a few huge budget cuts this season."
"Those interns are gonna pass out!" Raechel exclaims with concern. "Are they even getting paid for this?"
"It's Total Drama!" Chris says sadistically. "They never do."
"Dude," Colin remarks, "that's way cool."
Chris turns to the ocean. "Here they come!"
"Oh my God!" Byran exclaims. "This is unreal, oh my God! Chris this is so exciting when do we get to start competing is it gonna be like the Sweden challenge in World Tour did I mention I actually love the colors of the Swedish flag?"
The camera turns to the ocean as well, revealing two large viking-style boats approaching shore. Their large sails are color coded to represent their corresponding teams; one is blue for the Eagles, and one is pink for the Pandas. There are three large oars on each side of each boat with a steering wheel towards the bow. The interns who are rowing them look especially tired. A close-up shot of the boat reveals that two interns are passing out.
"So, like, what do we do?" Colin asks. "Dude, that looks mad cool."
"Patience, Colin," Chris says pretentiously. "Patience."
Aly looks annoyed. "They're taking like, eight years to get here. Aren't you on a schedule?"
Chris glares at Aly, and then takes out a megaphone. "Keep it moving, interns!" He snickers in reaction to his amplified command. "I'm not keeping you unpaid for nothing!"
Catelyn appears in the confessional area. "Honestly, I've always wondered why the interns continue to do their jobs for this show. They don't even get compensation! They must be some kind of crazy."
Eventually, the two ships dock, and the tired interns pass out on the beach.
"Are they gonna be okay?!" Raechel says. "Don't you have a doctor for them?"
Chris blinks. "Um..." He furrows his brow. "Nope, I think they'll be fine! We can't afford medical, anyway. You gotta pay top dollar for a doctor these days."
Karin is shown giggling in the confessional area. "Oh my God, that's actually so terrible." She snickers again. "I feel so sorry for those interns."
The scene cuts back to the beach. Erik is admiring the viking ships. "Wow, Chris! I love the art style that production went with these ships! It's like...totally cool."
"Yeah, okay, cool!" Chris says halfheartedly. Erik frowns.
"So what's the, uh..." Karin hesitates.
"Challenge," Cyrus whispers to Karin. "It's called a challenge, doll."
"Challenge!" She suddenly exclaims. "Yeah, what's the challenge?"
Aly appears in the confessional area. "So, today I learned that Karin might be as idiotic as Raechel. She didn't even know what a challenge was."
The camera cuts back to Chris. "For your first ever Total Drama challenge, the task is simple!" Chris points out into the ocean. The magic of editing reveals that Chef Hatchet is on a boat in the middle of the ocean holding two flags.
"You'll have to row, row, row your boat and swim, swim, swim your bodies out to Chef and retrieve your team's flag from his boat. The first team to hand me their flag wins the challenge!" Chris explains. He laughs sinisterly before saying, "The team that doesn't hand in their flag will have to face the ultra dramatic Poolside Elimination!"
Raechel looks confused. "So, I have two questions. First, who is Chef?"
Aly smacks her own forehead.
"Chef is, like, the cook guy that cooked food," Karin attempts to explain.
Raechel's face lights up. "Oh, yeah! Like on that one season at the summer camp."
Karin hesitates. "There were four seasons at summer camps, Raechel."
"Why do you care just let Chris explain the challenge stop being rude so we can get to it already!" Byran says quickly.
"I'm about two inches from throwing the challenge to get Byran out," Aly says in a confessional.
Colin laughs. "Dude, do you ever, like, go to sleep, bro?"
"Let Chris explain the challenge!!" Byran repeats.
Colin holds his hands up. "Hey, it's your call, dude."
As the scene moves to an annoyed Chris, the irritated hosts clears his throat. "Thank you, Byran. What an angel. Now..."
"Honestly, Chris, I wouldn't consider myself an angel because generally angels have already died and I'm still alive but if you think I'm an angel on Earth that's cool I guess but angels are really boring because they tend to be positive forces in life and I met this one guy in a theater class that said he hated me and wasn't sure why I was an actor but he quit the class because no one else liked him so the joke's on him and not me!" Byran takes a big breath, but is interrupted before he can continue speaking.
"You aren't an angel anymore!" Chris yells irritably. "There! Now shut up!"
"Thank you." Aly stares at Chris and smiles. "Thank you. So. Much."
Chris snickers. "My pleasure." He clears his throat again. "Anyway, once all eight team members are in your boat, six team members can take up the oars and start rowing." The camera reveals a red buoy about one hundred meters from the reused Boat of Losers prop from season one. Chef Hatchet, making his first on-screen appearance this season, is relaxing in the captain's room. Two flags are taped to opposite ends of the small, rickety ship.
"One team member must get ready to swim over to Chef once you reach the red buoy to retrieve your team's flag," Chris continues explaining. "Then, they can get back in their boat and start heading back."
"What about the last team member?" Parvati asks. "Rowing is...well, not my thing." She giggles, causing a nearby Mitch to roll his eyes. "And this swimsuit is still in season. I can't ruin it!" She laughs.
"I'm voting her out tonight, I can't even deal with her fake laughter one more bloody second," Elizabeth says in a confessional. "I'm literally about to throw the bloody competition to get this demon out of the game. I'm going mad aggro today."
"Honestly?" Angie says. "My guess is that they steer the boat. Since there's kind of a wheel, and all."
Chris raises his eyebrows. "Wow!" He claps halfheartedly. "Congratulations for having eyes, Angie." He turns to Parvati. "And congratulations to you for not having a brain."
Parvati laughs. "Sorry!" She continues laughing playfully. "I'm just not observant!" After this, she appears in the confessional area. "Okay, so I was a little bit of a dumb broad at the challenge. It works in my favor, though! Now everyone is underestimating me more...I hope."
"So, yes, the last remaining person steers," Chris affirms. "And I'm guessing that's Parvati for the Pandas."
Parvati looks around at her team. "I mean, if no one else wants to!"
"You just stole a whole minute or so of airtime dedicated to you not wanting to swim or row!" Sean bursts out. "You're gonna freaking steer."
"Geez, sorry," Parvati says. "Guess I'm steering!"
"Eagles!" Chris turns to the other team. "Who's steering for you?"
"Not me, dude," Colin says. "I swim, so I think I'm, like, pretty good for the swimming part."
Raechel raises her hand. "I want to do it!" She pauses. "I'm not confident in my rowing abilities, so I think this is the smartest thing for us to do."
Aly appears in the confessional area. "Look at that! She said something intelligent!" She gasps. "I still don't think she's all that bright. At least she can make her own decisions, though."
Over on the Pandas team, everyone is questioning who will swim.
"Guys!" Judd whines. "I can swim! I swim as well as horseback ride! I can do it!"
"Um..." Catelyn begins. "I...don't know how to say it...but you're..."
"We think that your physical strength makes you a better rower than a swimmer!" Matthew says. He winks at Catelyn.
Catelyn, blushing, appears in the confessional area. "Did Matthew just wink at me?" She squeals. "I never thought I'd find love on this show! I mean, he's not my type at all, but if he's gonna vote with me every time we lose, that's actually perf."
"I winked at Catelyn to show her that I'm on her side," Matthew explains in a confessional. "I was trying to save her from having to insult Judd. I think we were thinking the same thing, that Judd isn't really mentally stable. It would be great if Catelyn got the message that I'm her friend. I wouldn't date her or anything, but a friend is a friend right now. If we lose, I don't wanna be the antisocial toast."
Back on the beach, Judd is pouting. "So who swims then? Scrawny Mitch? Hermit Sean? How could Angie swim, anyway, when her chest alone is practically two round life vests?"
"By that logic, I guess she's great at breaststroke," Mitch says. He snickers.
Catelyn produces a half smile. "I can swim, no problem."
Judd looks at her confusedly. "You? Really? Against tall, tan and muscular over there on the enemy tribe?"
"Are you saying that girls can't hold their own?" Catelyn says.
"Not at all..." Judd pauses. "Fine, whatever, go ahead. Let it be known that if we lose, I'm blaming and voting for you because you wanted to swim so freaking badly, okay?"
Sean appears in the confessional area. "Judd's edit is sinking right now. He went from mild lunatic, probably a Hard To Detect Negative logit rating, to Overtly Negative, which is a really bad transition. There's no way he'll make it past the first few episodes with that."
After Sean's confessional, the scene displays Chris in front of the two assembled teams. "So, I assume you have everything sorted out?" Everyone nods their head. "Great! So, we can start..."
There is a pause as Chris fumbles to find something. He searches his pockets frantically.
"What is he looking for?" Erik asks his team.
Karin shrugs her shoulders. "You know...I don't know!"
"Is he itching?" Skylia asks.
"Oh, I brought a cream for itching!" Parvati announces. "It's back at the house, I can get it in a sec."
Chris reveals an airhorn. "Found it!" He uses it to produce a loud, obnoxious noise. "Get in your boats and go, go, go!"
The two teams take off towards their respective boats.
"Okay, so I want to major in some kind of history," Matthew explains in a confessional. "So, I know what a viking ship looks like. The ships that the interns rowed in are too small to be viking ships. These are barely five feet off the ground!"
Angie appears in the confessional area. "Oh my God, it was so gross! We literally had to dodge sweaty, sleeping interns left and right to be able to get into the wooden ship. It was horrible!"
"Fancy that," Elizabeth says to Mitch as they step over interns side by side. "She's stupider than we thought."
"Who, Parvati?" Mitch asks in response.
Elizabeth mocks Parvati's giggle. "Who else would it be? Obviously the girl who splashed out at the makeup counter."
"I thought I was the only one who couldn't stand her!" Mitch says, grinning.
"I can't stand her either," Elizabeth agrees. "She's the biggest idiot I've met."
The Ecstatic Eagles are also making their way into their boat.
"Ow!" Karin says as she climbs onto the deck. "This is mad hurting."
Erik jumps into the boat. "What is?"
"My arm," Karin explains. "I hit it when I smashed into the door earlier."
Erik raises his eyebrows. "Whoa! That's a wicked bruise!"
Karin glares at him as she grabs an oar. "Not helping, Erik!"
"Sorry," Erik says sheepishly. "I, uh, hope it gets better."
"Thanks," Karin says reluctantly. "Where's Raechel? Isn't she supposed to be steering?"
Suddenly, a shriek is heard off-screen. The camera quickly turns to Raechel, who is slowly stepping over the sleeping interns. Her shriek has woken a few of them up.
"How are all of you already up there?!" she asks. "This is gross!"
Skylia sighs. "Just get up here, Raechel. It's not that bad. I mean, we were all able to survive the intern minefield."
The Ecstatic Eagles, all in their boat minus Raechel, are intently watching the girl struggling to make it into the viking ship.
"Come on!" Byran shouts. "They're gonna catch up and then we're gonna lose the challenge and we're gonna vote someone off can you please get up here it's not that hard!"
Raechel appears in the confessional area. "Okay, that was really difficult. The interns were reeking of sweat, so it was impossible to concentrate. Not to mention I had an entire team shouting at me!"
Meanwhile, all eight Popular Pandas members are climbing into their vessel. Catelyn is the last person to make their way into the boat.
"Go, Catelyn!" Judd shouts. "We need you for swimmin'!"
"I know, Judd!" she replies.
Judd appears to be annoyed. "If you know, then why aren't you hustlin' to get in here?"
Catelyn finishes climbing into the boat and shoves Judd as she gets aboard.
Parvati, who is already at the boat's steering wheel, clears her throat. "Everyone, grab an oar!"
Everyone shifts to an oar except for Catelyn, who is lying down between the two rows of contestants.
"Go!" Parvati exclaims. "Row, row, row!" She giggles.
"Hey, Parvatwit!" Elizabeth shouts mockingly. "It'd be real cool if you'd stop giggling and start steering!" She is rowing behind Mitch, who turns around and smiles at her.
Parvati twirls her hair. "We're already, like, going in the right direction right now though. I'll steer when we need to, alright?"
"We're not even rowing in sync!" Mitch complains. "Isn't that your job to guide us too?"
Parvati giggles. "Well, I don't think it's a problem at the moment. We're going pretty fast!"
"Obviously," Elizabeth says in a confessional, "I got the worst luck possible when I got onto this show. I've got a team full of idiots and then there's Mitch. I literally hate everyone else. Don't even get me started on Parvati."
Catelyn, peacefully resting on the deck of the boat, yawns. "They're a little bit right, though. You should at least be doing something to, like, help us."
Angie, rowing considerably slower than the others, says, "She's right, Parv. You've gotta do something!"
Parvati, now leaning on the front of the wheel, replies, "Why do you people dislike me so much?" She giggles. "It's not like I even did anything to hurt you!"
Matthew stutters. "I, uh, think it'd just be better if you just try and lead us and stuff." He pants. "Is this whole rowing thing hard for any of you?"
"None of you even seem exasperated by your rowing!" Parvati says, ignoring Matthew. "Pick up the pace, boys!" She giggles.
"Yeah, c'mon!" Judd whines, exasperated. "Are any of you even tryin' at this point?"
Elizabeth re-appears in the confessional area. "Like I said, our team is all sixes and sevens right now. I wouldn't be surprised if we end up in shambles by the end of the day."
Parvati appears in the confessional area, looking at the ground. "I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now."
Meanwhile, over at the Ecstatic Eagles' boat, Raechel is just barely climbing into the boat.
"Raechel, dude," Colin says, "you really need to, like, get in the boat, man. The Pandas have started rowing already, and it's just, like, not great right now."
"I'm trying!" she exclaims. "In the meantime," she says while grunting, "I think you all should get to an oar so we can start rowing right away."
"So you have the strength to say all of that but not the energy to get into the freaking boat?" Byran asks as he grabs an oar.
Aly appears in the confessional area. "If you've been watching this show closely, you may notice that Raechel isn't the most competent person on the team. I think she's making an effort, though, which is good, but observing her Total Drama track record so far, it'll never be enough."
Erik grabs a paddle behind Byran. "Holy crap, dude!"
Byran turns around and blinks. "Yeah?"
"The craftsmanship on this paddle is amazing!" Erik exclaims with wide eyes and a smile. "I've never seen anything like it!"
A nearby Cyrus laughs. "Only on Total Drama would you find someone who observes the craftsmanship of freaking oars."
Erik raises his eyebrows as he frantically inspects the wooden piece. "It's just this is so remarkable that something like this could be in the budget!"
"I guess you learn something new every day," Cyrus remarks.
Erik appears in the confessional area. "Okay, so I might have been a little bit obsessed with the paddle, but it was just so cool! I can't even get over it!"
Cyrus appears in the confessional area. "Erik seems to be a big Total Drama fan, just like I am. Not only did he draw stuff for the online fanbase, but he was thinking about the budget when he was obsessing over our oars. Potential alliance?" He smiles. "Potential alliance."
Raechel finally climbs onto the deck of the boat and rushes to the steering wheel. "Colin, get ready to swim, because we're gonna be there in no time!"
"Solid," Colin says. He begins to take off his shirt, causing Skylia to look over.
"He's...really hot!" Skylia says in a confessional. "I...didn't think I'd be looking for a relationship on this show, but...oh my God!"
Raechel, unlike the other team's steerer, has two hands on the wheel. "Is everyone doing okay? Are we rowing together?"
An aerial shot of the blue-sailed viking ship reveals that also unlike the other team, the Eagles are rowing in a solid rhythm together.
Colin looks over the edge of the boat where Byran, Cyrus, and Erik are rowing. "Yeah, I think so!"
"Great!" Raechel exclaims. "I think we might be catching up to the Pandas!"
Another aerial shot reveals that the two ships are now side by side.
"Ow!"
The camera zooms in on the Pandas' ship, which seems to be falling behind.
"I got a splinter!" Judd whines.
"Judd, can you please keep rowing?" Angie asks between breaths. "I know it's pretty hard, but you've gotta try!"
Judd is currently curled up in a ball, clutching his index finger tightly.
"It's a bloody splinter!" Elizabeth shouts. "Get moving or get lost!"
"Bloody?!" Judd exclaims fearfully. "Is it gonna be bloody?"
"It's an expression, you twat," Elizabeth replies.
Angie sighs. "You'll be fine! Just pull it out after the challenge!"
"Blondie's right!" Elizabeths assures. "Get moving!"
Judd appears in the confessional area. "I didn't know that I'd be on this show with a bunch o' idiots!" He sighs. "How'm I supposed to win when no one cares about m'well being? If this splinter gets infected, I might never ride a horse again!" He holds up his red finger.
"It's been a rough day," Angie says in a confessional. "Having to make friends with Judd isn't my favorite thing ever because he's just so thick skulled! It doesn't really help that our team doesn't like him, either. But if we become friends, then he might protect me if my name comes up when we eventually lose this challenge."
"Fine!" Judd says as the scene returns to the Pandas' ship. He sits up, grabs his oar, and resumes the paddling motion.
Angie smiles. "Fantastic. Now if..." She pauses as the camera pans to a sleeping Parvati. She is leaning on the front of the steering wheel, and her body is slipping to the side.
"She's about to turn us off course!" Angie shouts worriedly.
Mitch rolls his eyes. "It'd be the most steering she's done so far."
"Someone do something!" Angie exclaims. The camera shows the wheel starting to turn.
"Parvati!" Catelyn says as she runs over to her. "Wake up, girl!" Catelyn grabs Parvati and straightens out the wheel. However, the bow of the ship is now pointing to the right.
Parvati opens her eyes. "Huh?" She blinks. "Hey, Catelyn! What's up?" She giggles.
"You fell asleep and almost put us off course!" Catelyn exclaims, frustrated. "That's what's up!"
"Oh," Parvati says nonchalantly. "Did you put us back on course?"
"That would be your job," Catelyn replies. "Not ours!"
Parvati giggles. "Whoops!" She stands up and turns around to face the steering wheel. "Better turn this thing a little bit to the left!"
Mitch appears in the confessional area. "Gee, really!? Turn it to the left? Who would have thought? Man, I want to punch her in the face."
"Hey, how far are we from the ship?" Matthew asks. No one replies. "Parvati?"
"Keep rowing, guys!" Parvati says.
Catelyn, who had returned to lying on the deck of the ship, is now sitting up. "Hey, Parv, how far are we from the ship?"
"Not too far!" Parvati replies. "Thanks for asking, Catelyn!"
The camera reveals that the Boat of Losers is indeed not very far. Chef Hatchet is inside the cockpit reading a magazine.
To the left of the small, rickety watercraft is the much larger viking ship bearing a blue sail, sometimes referred to as the Ecstatic Eagles' boat.
"Stop rowing!" Raechel exclaims. "We're at the red buoy!"
A new camera angle reveals that everyone has, in fact, already stopped rowing.
"We kind of established that one already, Rachel," Aly says.
"Oh, then good," she replies.
Skylia immediately turns to look at Colin. "Hey, Colin, are you ready to swim?"
Colin laughs. "Yep. About to jump in, dude." He dives into the blue ocean and begins swimming towards Chef. Behind him, two black dorsal fins emerge from the water. An onlooking Skylia gasps.
"Colin!" She yells. "Watch out for the sharks!"
Colin appears on screen as his eyes widen. "Sharks?!" He begins swimming twice as fast. "Not cool!"
Byran appears in the confessional area. "I'm so excited and glad and happy and stuff that we picked an actual swimmer to do the swimming for our team in the challenge! If someone else were to be doing this and they hurt themselves because of the sharks I'd hate that because dying on TV is honestly so terrible and that would suck even though that's kinda the stigma of Total Drama have I mentioned that I'm really excited for the dangerous challenges this season I love this show?" An off-screen person, presumably an intern, yells, "Shut up!"
Cyrus, Karin, and Skylia are watching Colin swim. They appear to be worried.
Cyrus is biting his nails. "This is so dramatic. I'm gonna die inside if he gets eaten by a shark."
Skylia raises an eyebrow, then says, "You mean literally die because it's so unfortunate and not die of laughter, right?"
"Uh..." Cyrus blinks. "What else would I be thinking?"
"I don't know," Skylia replies. "I'd just hate for there to be hatred among our team."
"Yeah, me too!" Cyrus forces a smile, then appears in the confessional area. "Skylia is kind of freaking me out. Aly and I teased her earlier today about having a crush on Colin, but that's quickly doing Dave-level obsessed, and fast."
"I really hope he's okay!" Karin says.
Skylia glares at Karin. "I do too." She then appears in the confessional area. "I saw the worry in Karin's eyes when Colin was swimming. I know she's into him too!"
"What's with the anim..." Karin stops. "Animalos..." She blinks.
Cyrus and Skylia both stop and stare at her.
"Animosal..." Karin furrows her brow.
"Is...something wrong?" Cyrus asks.
Karin blinks. "Animospital?" There is a moment of awkward silence.
Skylia laughs and asks, "Do you mean animosity?"
Karin's eyes light up. "Yes! That's exactly the word!" She high-fives Skylia.
Cyrus laughs as well. "Why were you trying to say it in the first place?"
Karin blinks. "I'm, uh, not sure."
"That's fine!" Skylia smiles. She appears in the confessional area shortly after. "Okay, so she might just be a normal human being with regular emotions, so maybe my concern was misplaced, but I'm still keeping tabs on her."
Colin reaches Chef's boat and clings above water onto the side.
"How ya' likin' them sharks, boy?" Chef asks from the driver's seat.
Colin smiles and replies, "They're no problem, bro. Just an extra incentive." He grabs the blue flag and falls back into the water.
The Popular Pandas' ship has now reached the red buoy.
"Hurry 'n' jump in!" Judd shouts at Catelyn. "The hot..." He pauses, causing everyone to look at him. "I mean, the other guy already has the freaking flag! Go! Go!"
Catelyn, donning a bikini, rolls her eyes before diving off of the boat and into the water.
"Watch out for the sharks!" Judd shouts. "They're brutal, y'know!"
"How do you know there's gonna be sharks?" Angie asks suspiciously.
Judd snickers. "Simple, I was watching the other team. You know, strategy? Gotta look over once in a while if you're gonna win the race, y'know?"
"And not concentrating on your own team's potential success?" Angie replies. "Low blow."
"Oh, c'mon!" Judd whines. "It's not like I completely stopped rowing!"
"Just like you did earlier?" Mitch butts in. "Oh, I've got a splinter!" he mocks. "Get a grip, man."
"It could've gotten infected!" Judd complains, but nobody appears to sympathize with him.
Elizabeth rolls her eyes, then appears in the confessional area. "Judd isn't my cup of tea. I don't hate him, but he doesn't even contribute anything to the team...ever...at all. He thinks he's cracking but he's really more like slacking."
Sean appears in the confessional area, making his first on-screen appearance for quite some time. "If I just stay quiet, my edit can't tank. Everyone else is destroying their shot at the winner's edit by being the most negative people I've ever met. At this point, it looks like I almost have to win this season."
Parvati, still with her back leaning on the front of the wheel, is beaming.
"What are you so excited about?" Mitch asks.
"Does this mean I'm not public enemy number one anymore?!" she exclaims excitedly.
"I never hated you," Matthew replies. "You seem kinda like a nice person, maybe, I guess, possibly, hopefully, I think?"
Mitch rolls his eyes. "Personally, I still hate you."
Parvati sighs. "Guess everyone on this tribe is still attacking me for no reason!" She turns her back to the rest of the tribe.
"What's with her drama?" Elizabeth whispers to Mitch.
"No clue," Mitch replies, "but you can tell her ego is still really intact right now."
"She's not smart enough to have one," Elizabeth says. She snickers.
Mitch forces a chuckle. "Yeah, maybe." He then appears in the confessional area. "Look, Elizabeth and I are friends, but I've never heard her talk positively about someone. She's literally the most negative person ever. Positivity? Not her specialty."
Suddenly, Catelyn returns with the pink flag for her team. She glares at Judd.
"Hey!" Judd whines. "What's with the glare, y'know?"
Catelyn shrugs her shoulders.
Angie steps in by saying, "You were strongly against her swimming, but she was back before we knew it. I think that's what she was trying to say." She then appears in the confessional area. "Right now, I just need to be positive towards everyone. If I can help build bridges and be everyone's friend, that's really good for my game."
Judd crosses his arms and pouts. "She wasn't back before the Eagles' swimmer, okay?"
The camera reveals that the opposing team's blue sail is leaving the red buoy. The scene switches to the deck of the Eagles' ship.
"Yes!" Raechel exclaims. "Great job, Colin!"
Skylia leaves her oar to go hug him. "You did great!"
Colin smiles. "Thanks, man, but you should probably, like, get back to your paddle thing."
Skylia gasps. "Oh, right, sorry!" She quickly returns to her oar and continues rowing in sync with the rest of the tribe.
"Raechel, you're steering us on the right course, right? Because it would be really bad if we lost because we weren't going in the right direction and I'd honestly be really embarrassed because you messed up the team singlehandedly and stuff," Byran says.
Raechel smiles back at Byran. "Don't worry, I've got it all under control."
"Hear that, hyper boy?" Aly says in a confessional. "You can shut up now." She pauses. "At least, that's what I'd like to tell him, but if a target gets on my back, I could be dead in the water."
"I really hope you do," Karin says. "I'd hate to get fifteenth place tonight."
Aly sighs. "Karin, there are sixteen people in the game. You'd be getting sixteenth."
"Yeah...okay," Karin replies.
"Complacent much?" Aly rolls her eyes without getting a reply from Karin.
"Aly's starting arguments," Cyrus says in a confessional, "and that's not one hundred percent great. Constant negativity could be the straw to break this team's camel's back." He pauses. "Wow, that was terribly worded. Can I get a redo? That's why I love vlogging, it's so easy to just redo things..."
"Chicks argue, bro," Colin says in a confessional. "It's hot, but it's not helping our team."
"Karin! Aly! Come on!" Erik says. "We're almost there and the Pandas are catching up!"
"Everyone!" Byran says.
"Wow," Aly says in a quick confessional, "a one word sentence from Bryan?! Phenomenal."
"Listen up!" Byran continues. "Row your freaking hearts out right now! We're almost there and if we lose that's really bad because then one of us gets sixteenth - not fifteenth, Karin - and does anyone want to be first boot like the other irrelevant losers that get last place on Total Drama?"
Erik raises one eyebrow. "Well, Ezekiel has a huge cult following..."
"And I love Lindsay!" Cyrus exclaims. "Not to mention that Mikayla's obsession with her hair was actually hilarious."
"Yeah, I could totally relate to that," Raechel agrees. "I was so happy when Mikayla won the season, though!"
Aly rolls her eyes. "She was first boot, genius."
"Yeah, I know!" Raechel says nervously. "I read a, uh, fake season online which had everyone in reverse, so Mikayla won!
"Okay," Aly says with a smirk. "So who would have been the winner?"
Raechel pauses. "The...guy! He had the hair and clothes and stuff. You know who I'm talking about!"
"She's a dud," Aly says in a quick confessional.
"The Pandas are catching up oh my God stop slacking everyone let's go already!" Byran exclaims as the camera pans to the Pandas' pink-sailed viking ship.
"Hurry, guys!" Angie says. "We're..." She stops to take a breath. "Almost there!"
"C'mon!" Judd says in a whiny tone. "Give it your all, okay?"
"Did you think we weren't?" Mitch asks. "No one wants to be first boot."
"I definitely agree," Matthew says while nodding. "Being the first person voted off would really suck."
Catelyn is now standing up instead of lying down. "Mitch knows what's up!" she exclaims. "No one!" she shouts. "No one wants to be first out! Row your arms off, guys!"
"Go, y'all!" Judd says.
Angie appears in the confessional area. "My arms feel like they were gonna fall off. If we don't win this challenge, I'm gonna be two limbs down and up for elimination...both of those aren't favorable scenarios."
Sean appears in the confessional area. "Little does everyone know that my biceps are super-duper strength machines! ...Sorta. I'm just surprised no one called me out on my lack of rowing prowess. The editing is really going in my favor already!"
Elizabeth appears to be exerting herself. Her dark brown hair is flying in the wind with every stroke she takes. "Row harder, you nitwits, we haven't passed them yet! I'm not gonna be the flipping first person voted off of this show so get a move on!"
"Shut up, Negative Nancy!" Judd shouts back. "No one cares about your tea and crumpets, okay?"
Elizabeth glares at Judd before withdrawing her oar from its holding point on the side of the ship and hitting him with it. He falls down and passes out.
"What was that for?" Angie looks at Elizabeth angrily. Suddenly, her eyes widen. "And why are we turned around the wrong way?"
The camera reveals Parvati, asleep, leaning on the side of the steering wheel.
"Parvati!" the Pandas collectively exclaim.
"Wake up, you twit!" Elizabeth shouts as she puts her oar back in the water. "You're turning the ship!"
Catelyn removes Parvati from the steering wheel. "I'll take it from here!"
Parvati awakens as she hits the deck of the ship. "Ouch! That hurt!" She giggles.
"Why the heck are you giggling?!" Mitch asks frustratedly. "You just turned this ship one hundred eighty degrees and now we're out of this challenge!"
"We can still turn back around!" Parvati giggles. "It's not that hard."
Matthew is looking at Judd, concerned. "Why isn't Judd rowing?! More importantly, why is he passed out on the deck of the ship?"
"Because I tried to smack the bloody common sense back into him!" Elizabeth replies in a grumpy tone. "That's why!"
Matthew appears in the confessional area, beaming. "Finally!" He pumps his fist in the air. "Someone acknowledged me!"
"Are we even going anywhere right now?" Angie asks before appearing in the confessional area. "Everyone was too busy arguing to even concentrate on winning the challenge! While we were all bickering and trying to kill each other, the Eagles soared by us...no pun intended."
The Eagles' ship is now the focus of the episode. They are all cheering as they row in unison.
"Yes!" Byran exclaims loudly. "We passed them oh my God you guys we did it I think we're gonna win the challenge I'm not gonna be first boot this is such a good day I can't believe it yes!"
"You're the best steerer ever, Raechel!" Cyrus says happily.
Raechel smiles. "Thanks, Cy! You're the best...other person!"
"Aw, isn't that cute!" Aly says sarcastically.
"Guys!" Karin says. "Once we hit the shore, we've got to all, like, hop out and stuff! So we can give Chris the flag and win before the Pandas do."
The camera's aerial shot now reveals that the Eagles' ship is speeding past the Pandas' on the way to shore. The Pandas' ship is now not pointing forward or backwards, but it is at a complete halt and facing sideways.
"Uh, I don't think that'll be an issue, but thanks for the consideration," Erik replies.
"No worries!" Karin says, smiling. She then appears in the confessional area. "Erik was so nice to me at the challenge today! He let me know that my planning skills are appreciated. It was a great feeling!"
"I hope Karin didn't get the wrong idea," Erik says in a confessional. "I'm not the greatest with words, so she might have thought that I was giving her constructive criticism. Really, I was just being sarcastic. I guess that's more up Aly's alley and not mine."
"The boat's about to beach!" Raechel announces. "Get ready, everyone!"
"I've been ready for a while, bro," Colin says.
Byran puts his hands around his mouth as to replicate a mega-horn. "Beach incoming!"
Everyone jumps out of the viking ship which has now hit the beach, where Chris is boarding a helicopter.
Colin sprints over to Chris and hands over the blue flag.
"The Ecstatic Eagles win the first challenge of the season!" Chris announces loudly. The Eagles all cheer loudly together.
"We did it!" Karin exclaims.
Skylia jumps up and down. "This is the most excited I've ever been! Ever!"
The scene changes over to the Popular Pandas' boat, where they are all sitting and sulking on the deck of the ship. No one is even touching their oar.
Chris approaches them in a helicopter.
"Hey, Pandas, hate to say it, but you lost the challenge!" Chris says sadistically.
"Why do you find joy in telling us this?" Sean asks.
"Because you have to row back. See you at the pool tonight!" Chris flies away in his helicopter while everyone on the pink team groans.
Total Drama's iconic elimination ceremony plays as a zoomed out shot of the pool, stationed behind the two houses where the contestants live, is shown.
A new camera shot reveals all eight Popular Pandas members sitting in poolside chairs. Chris is sitting in the lifeguard chair on the other end of the pool with a whistle around his neck. He blows it loudly.
"Welcome to the first Poolside Elimination Ceremony!" Chris announces with sadistic glee. "Because your team lost the challenge today, one of you will be voted off by your own teammates and will have to take..." The scene shows a strange, small, Asian-looking boat. "The Sampan of Shame!"
"What the heck is a sampan?" Mitch asks.
Chris laughs. "Some kind of Chinese boat thing. It's more fun than the Boat of Losers. Trust me!" He snickers. "Anyway, one by one, I'll call each of you individually over to what some of you may know as the confessional. I personally know it as the snack bar." The scene now shows the confessional area with an employee standing behind the counter. "There, we have an unpaid intern who will present you with eight pictures, one for each member of the team including yourself. There will also be a knife!"
"Knives?" Angie asks. "Doesn't that sound a bit...dangerous?"
Chris smiles. "No worries! You just need to stab the picture of the person you want to vote off. Sound good?"
"That's insanely violent," Catelyn replies.
"Your point?" Chris glares at Catelyn, who turns silent. "Didn't think so! It's time to vote!"
Elizabeth is shown stabbing Parvati's picture. "Piece of bloody work, she is."
Judd, with bandages around his head, is shown stabbing Elizabeth's picture. "Don't ever hit me in the head, ever!"
Matthew is shown stabbing Judd's picture. "I just don't like him."
The scene returns to the eight losers sitting in their pool chairs.
Chris climbs down from the lifeguard chair and returns with a tray with seven coconut drinks, similar to the one Chris was drinking in the previous episode.
"One by one," Chris explains, "I'll call the name of each person who is safe. I'll attempt to throw this coconut drink to you if you're safe. You can either catch it, or get soaked in orange juice. Take your pick. Whoever does not get a drink will be escorted out the back gate," Chris says as the camera reveals a back gate to the pool, "be thrown onto the Sampan of Shame," he says as the camera once again shows the rickety watercraft, "and get out of here." Chris takes the tray of drinks and picks one up.
"Matthew!" Chris throws a drink at Matthew.
"There's someone named Matthew on this team?" Catelyn asks. "No wonder I didn't recognize the Asian face!"
Chris continues. "Catelyn!" She catches her drink.
"Yes!" Catelyn cheers.
"Sean, Angie!" Chris throws two more drinks. Sean does not catch his, but it misses, so he avoids getting wet. Angie catches hers and begins to sip it.
"Sweet, sweet safety!" Angie says happily.
Chris throws another drink. "Mitch!" Unlike Sean, Mitch's drink spills all over him.
"Dude!" Mitch looks at the new spill on his clothes. "Not cool!"
Chris snickers. "Tough break, kid." He clears his throat. "Now, for the three of you. You all really kinda screwed up at the challenge today."
"Me?!" Elizabeth shouts. "How did I do anything wrong?!"
"You took your oar out to hit Judd in the head. Not a bright idea, Elizabeth," Chris replies. "Nonetheless, you are safe tonight!" He tosses a drink to her. She catches it and sips it while glaring at Judd and Parvati.
"How'm I in the bottom two?" Judd asks.
"You were, like, the worst team player...ever." Chris blinks. "And Parvati, you just sat there and giggled your team right out of the running to win the challenge. Pretty terrible, man!"
Parvati giggles. "Didn't know I'd get so much hate for napping on the job!"
Chris rolls his eyes. "The final coconut drink goes to...
"Judd!" He tosses a drink to Judd.
Parvati's eyes widen. "Wait, really?!" She stands up. "Me?"
"YES!" Elizabeth shouts. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"
"What's up your butt?" Parvati asks.
"Goodbye! See you, you vapid, idiotic, detrimental vermin!" Elizabeth does a dance in her chair.
Parvati giggles. "Whatever!" She begins to walk through the back gate. "See you guys later!" She giggles...again.
"I hope I never see you ever!" Elizabeth waves goodbye with a smile.
The scene changes to Parvati boarding the Sampan of Shame. "Sorry, but, uh, where is this going?" She giggles. The hooded captain shrugs his shoulders as the sampan takes off at a high speed. "Whoa!"
Chris is now shown in his lifeguard chair. "Well, that was drama-licious! I bet you guys can't wait for more of them, but more importantly, more of me. Will the Pandas recover from the first loss? Or will they crash and burn like others before them? Find out next time! On Total...Drama...South Pacific!"
Elimination Chart
| Place | Contestant | 2 |
|---|---|---|
| TBA | Aly | WIN |
| TBA | Angie | SAFE |
| TBA | Byran | WIN |
| TBA | Catelyn | SAFE |
| TBA | Colin | WIN |
| TBA | Cyrus | WIN |
| TBA | Elizabeth | SAFE |
| TBA | Erik | WIN |
| TBA | Judd | LOW |
| TBA | Karin | WIN |
| TBA | Matthew | SAFE |
| TBA | Mitch | SAFE |
| TBA | Raechel | WIN |
| TBA | Sean | SAFE |
| TBA | Skylia | WIN |
| 16 | Parvati | OUT |
Key
This contestant was on the Ecstatic Eagles team.
This contestant was on the Popular Pandas team.