Total Drama: Tiki Jungle

This story is rated PG. There may be some content not for younger kids. However, there is nothing here they wouldn't say on the Total Drama series.

Thank you, Lindsaysbiggestfan!

Total Drama: Tiki Jungle takes 8 veterans from Total Drama School and 8 all-new characters and places them in a dangerous tropical island with ferocious animals, lethal quicksand, many tiki statues, and best of all: an active volcano! Be sure to read, and comment on the talk page!

Contestants

Meg

Gary

Carson

Sharissa

Helga

Devin

Amanda

Alex

Chrissy

Trey

Elena

Arthur

Julia

Manty

Nic

Octavia

Chapters

Chapter 1- Stopping by the Jungle on a Dramatic Evening

Chris McLean is standing on a dock made out of bamboo in front of a tropical island. "Hey, viewers. It's me, Chris McLean." he says. "I've decided to start another season of Total Drama! Aren't you guys just so excited?"

Crickets chirp.

"...Never mind." says Chris. "Now, we're coming from you live at a volcanic island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean! I call this Tiki Jungle! Any of you guys know why?"

He looks at the many tiki statues placed around the island. "Oh, and look. Here's the best part." He points upward, and reveals a large volcano. "That baby's active. Now, 16 contestants will be competing for a large sum of $1,000,000! Yep, the prize money last season was eaten by a bear. Now, let's meet our first 8 contestants. Total Drama School was an extreme season with 12 slightly insane students. In the end, Carson, the funny kid, won, but his prize money was eaten by a bear. Here he is now, let's say hello to him."

Carson, a skinny but athletic-looking kid with crazy blond hair and a green shirt, emerges from a boat and says, "Hey, Chris. 'Sup?"

"Not much, so are you planning to win again?" asks Chris.

"Yeah, man. I deserve that money, my old money was gobbled up by some bear. Hate when that happens. So, man, I'm the first one here again?" says Chris.

"Looks like it. Well, it seems the next boat is about to come. Sharissa, who is a bit dangerous and quite disturbing, managed to nab second place in TDS. So, here she is, possibly bringing even more danger to the island." says Chris.

Sharissa, a freakishly tall girl with extremely long purple hair and tons of makeup, comes running out of the boat. "Aieee!" she shrieks. "Hey, everyone!"

"Dude, have you grown since TDS?" asks Carson.

"Yep. As a matter of fact, I'm now 6 foot 3!" exclaims Sharissa.

"Wow. That's just... Wow. So, Sharissa, how's life been since TDS?" says Chris.

"Um... I'm teaching my baby brother to act more like me. He already knows 57-and-a-half swear words, he just put on his first makeup yesterday, and I went outside a week ago and saw him stabbing ants with a stick." explains Sharissa.

"What's the half?" asks Carson.

"You don't wanna know." says Sharissa.

"That's quite pleasant. Well, enough about you. I wonder where the next boat is?" says Chris.

Sharissa says, "Oh, y' mean Amanda's boat? I sunk it by throwing rocks at it. She didn't get seriously maimed or anything during the competition, so that's her karma."

"Is that appropriate?" asks Carson.

"Considering all the stuff I do at home, yep." says Sharissa.

A tiny speck in the ocean is seen. Gradually, it comes closer and closer, and then reveals itself to be a sopping wet and extremely angry Amanda. She hoists herself onto the dock, flips her hair about, then begins cursing.

Carson says, "Hey, baby. Why are you so wet?"

Amanda says, "I'm not your baby. I'm wet because that psycho--" she points to Sharissa, "sank my darn boat."

"You deserved it. You were a jerk last season." says Sharissa.

"Sheesh. But don't you think sinking someone's boat is a little harsh?" says Amanda.

"No, not really, compared to some other stuff I've done." says Sharissa.

Chris says, "I wish this conversation would never end, but we only have 22 minutes. So let's see Meg before we run out of time."

Meg, an attractive and athletic girl, is waterskiing on the back of her boat. She gets off, does a flip, and lands on the dock.

"What's up, guys?" says Meg. "Glad to be back... is that an active volcano?"

"MEGGIEEEE!" shrieks Sharissa. She gives her a bear hug.

In between chokes, Meg says, "You've grown, it looks like, but can you... put me down?"

Sharissa says, "Sure. And yes, it is an active volcano."

Meg says, "This'll be fun."

"Yeah, I know." says Chris. "I sure hope you're not being sarcastic."

"No, I'm not." says Meg dryly.

"All right then," says Chris, "Let's meet up with our ol' pal, Gary. He was a fan favorite, but managed to get sixth place in the season. Smack-dab in the middle. The little nerd was remembered mostly for his catchphrase, 'Over 9000', and his obsession with Meg, and girls in general."

Meg glares. "Uh-oh," she says.

Another very large boat comes up to the dock, this one painted orange with the words "Over Nine Thousand" written on it.

Gary steps out, carrying a laptop, a keyboard, a wig, and some large suitcases. "I'm so glad to see you, guys!" he says.

"Glad to see you too, Brotha." says Carson, and he gives him a fist bump.

Gary rushes over to Meg, "Meg!" he says, and tries to hug her.

Meg pushes him away, and says nicely, "Sorry, Gary. But I have a boyfriend back home, and he really doesn't like it when I hug other guys."

Gary mopes away next to Carson. "Nice try, dude." whispers Carson and he gives him a pat on the back.

Chris says, "Gary, the fans are glad to see you again. Doesn't look like you've changed one bit, have you? Still have those braces on?"

"Yupperoo." says Gary. "So, what's this season about?"

"Well..." says Chris, but he gets interrupted by another voice.

"Yo, yo, yo, home dawgy dawgs!" says Devin, who jumps onto the deck and starts shaking his behind. "Th' Dev-meister's back in th' house! An' today, I's gon' win dis thang!"

"Devin." says Chris. "You all remember Devin, right? That super-annoying little gangsta-wannabe shrimp who placed thirteenth originally and refused to lose? Kind of like another reality show contestant we know?"

The contestants all nod their heads.

"Yo, homies!" says Devin. "I's still saggin, word! An' I's gon' getta chick dis time, yo!"

"Good luck, Brotha." says Carson. "I sure am happy that all the Bling Brothas are here. I sure hope we're all on the same team."

"Yeeeah, boy!" says Devin. "Why ain't there any shawties here yet, yo? I's gettin' hungry fo' girls, word."

"Looks like, in the two week hiatus before this season, you've developed an interest in girls." says Chris.

"I's always loved th' females, yo." says Devin. "There jus' wasn't no hotties in da' Schooly thang."

All the girls glare at him.

"I's sorry, girls!" says Devin. "I's jus' bein' truthful. All righ'?"

The girls all mutter, "Fine."

"On to our next contestant..." says Chris hurriedly. "Helga, who placed ninth overall, and was obsessed with books, is back." Chris pauses. "Just because we needed one more veteran. Here she is. But, I must warn you, she's almost as boring as Emilee from last season."

Helga comes out reading a book that says "Mockingbird" on the cover. "Greetings, everyone." she says. "I'm reading this book, Mockingbird, for the five hundred and seventy first time. It's about this girl named--"

"We don't care," says Amanda.

Helga glares at her. "Stupid popular girls..." she mutters. "Not being able to understand a good book..."

"I know a good book." says Gary. "It's called Dragon Ball X: The Manga: Volume 31. It's the volume where Vegeta says--"

"I don't like books." says Amanda through gritted teeth.

"It's a comic!" says Gary.

"Moving on." says Chris. "All right, because I don't really want to start an argument, I'll introduce the eight noobs--I mean, completely new players."

"Wait," says Sharissa. "Where's Alex? He was supposed to be here."

"You'll see Alex soon enough," says Chris. He then giggles. "Well, our first newcomer is a girl who loves to act and do everything related to the arts. She's a bit eccentric, so don't really provoke her. Here she is now."

A pink-haired girl wearing a skimpy top and blue pants leaps off of the boat and throws flower petals in the air.

"My, my, my!" she says, "O! How wonderful it is to be here, with all this beautiful wildlife..." She kisses a tree.

"Cute peers..." She pinches Carson's cheeks, and Carson turns beet-red.

"And this amazingly talented host!" She runs up to Chris. "My name is Octavia, please call me that and only that. I'm sure to make your competition super exciting!"

"All right, miss actress. I'm sure you'll provide this show with quite a bit of drama..." says Chris.

Octavia leaps towards the other contestants. "Hello, peers. I'm--"

"We know," says Amanda rudely.

"Who is that?" asks Octavia.

"Antagonist," says Meg. "Apparently every season needs one."

"Ah," says Octavia, "I'm sure you shall lighten up during the competition, eh?"

"Sure. Whatever." says Amanda angrily.

"All right. That's ol' Octy for you, folks. Next up, let's meet our second newbie. His name's Trey."

A very tall, tanned, and handsome young man with a surfboard and sunglasses walks over to the group. "Hey, guys." he says, "My name is Trey, and I'm pretty much just your average, cool guy."

"Your average, cool, hot guy," Amanda says to Octavia.

"I'm not supposed to talk to you if you are the antagonist," says Octavia, "But I do agree with you. He is quite a looker."

"Hey, girls." says Trey, and walks over to Amanda, Octavia, and the other girls. "I'm Trey."

"Hi, I'm Amanda." says Amanda dreamily.

"Hey," says Carson, "Amanda, you greeted everyone, even me, rudely, and now you're swooning over some guy that you barely know? He could be, like, some sort of gangster!"

"I wouldn't min' dat, bro." says Devin.

"Looks like somebody's jealous..." Meg whispers to Sharissa.

Sharissa giggles.

"Okay, I'm sure Trey will become very popular... especially with the female crowd. Anyways--"

A small sailboat comes careening down the ocean, until it finally lands on the dock. In it is an attractive, yet tough-looking girl with a skull tattoo, greasy, long hair covering one eye, and carrying a stereo blaring with rock music.

"This is our next contestant." says Chris. "What's your name? I forgot."

"Call me Chris." the tough-looking girl says.

"Um, sorry." says Chris. "I'm the host, and my name is Chris. So, you might as well pick a different name. How 'bout... Chrissy?"

"Fine." says Chrissy gruffly. "That's what they called me in my early days. Before I got this." She points to her tattoo.

"All right." says Chris nervously.

Chrissy walks towards the other contestants.

"Yo, brotha, dat homey is fly! Finally, 'dere's som' hot chicks here, yo!" whispers Devin.

"Nah," says Carson. "I don't really like those girls who beat you up if you break up with 'em."

Chrissy looks at Devin and says, "What are you lookin' at, kid?"

"Er..." says Devin, "I like yo'... boozums?"

"Yeah, whatever." says Chrissy dryly. "Weirdo."

She walks over to Meg. "Hi, I'm Meg." says Meg.

"Chrissy." says Chrissy. "Good to see there's at least one sane person here, among lots of dorks." She looks at Devin and Chris especially.

"Er... Thanks. I hope we can be tight." says Meg. Then, in a gangsta impression, she says, "Yo."

"The next boat is here," says Chris. "Everyone, please meet Julia."

The boat drops off an extremely short, red-haired girl wearing short blue shorts and a shirt that says "Kitteh."

"I'm Julia." she says angrily. "I don't wanna be here."

"Hi, Julia." says Gary. "From your shirt, I can see that you like memes too! I like the Lolcats a lot, but my favorite one is--"

"SHUT UP!" screams Julia extremely loudly.

"Someone's got anger issues..." says Chrissy. "Take a chill pill, little girl."

"Little girl? LITTLE GIRL?!?" snaps Julia. "I am not a friggin' little girl! I am sixteen-and-a-half years old, and I'm four feet and eleven inches!"

"That makes you a little girl." says Helga.

Julia kicks Helga in the privates, and Helga runs away screaming.

"I'm sure you will be quite enjoyable," says Chris to Julia. "But Arthur's here, and I don't really want to waste any time."

"Wait a second..." says Julia slowly. "Did you say Arthur?"

"Yes, I did." says Chris blatantly.

Julia curses.

Then, a tall, slightly overweight boy with glasses and side-bangs steps onto the dock.

"I'm morbidly obeeeese!" he shouts in a deep, rumbly voice.

"ARTHUR, SHUT UP!" says Julia.

"She scaaaares me!" says Arthur and points to Julia.

"Do you two know each other?" asks Chris. "Dang it, I didn't want any more of that."

"Know each other? Of course, we know each other! He sits right in front of me in Math class! Every single friggin' day, it's 'I'm morbidly obese' this, and 'my peanuts are loose' that, and gosh! I can't stand it! Every day, I kick him in the darn kiwis, but noooo! The next day, he's back to his usual stupid tricks! And worst of all, he's so big and flabby that he blocks the space in front of me. I can barely see! And I joined this crappy old competition just so I could get away from him for a couple of months, and now he's here too?!? I hate this guy! Chris, please don't make us be on the same team!" rants Julia.

"Wow." says Arthur. "I didn't know you felt that way about me."

"Seriously?" screams Julia, and kicks Arthur onto the shore.

"Don't touch meeee!" says Arthur loudly.

"I'm sure this competition will be quite interesting. Let's greet our next contestant." says Chris.

A small boy steps off the boat, wearing sunglasses. "Hello, everyone." he says with a flashy grin. He then whispers to someone inside the boat, "Hey, you! Weren't you supposed to put on the salsa music?"

"Hello, Nic." says Chris. "Or should I say, Nic-e-jandro?"

The other contestants are confused.

"Nic here likes to pretend he's Alejandro, from World Tour." says Chris.

"Hello, mi amor." Nic says to Chrissy.

"Why do I always attract freaks?" says Chrissy to Meg.

Meg shrugs.

"Check out my buff ab belly!" says Nic, and rips off his shirt. Everyone laughs, because he is so skinny. He tries to do the wave with his abs, but fails.

"Yeah. You really call that your buff ab belly?" says Trey. "I've got a real buff ab belly." He also rips off his shirt, but he is actually muscular.

All of the girls stare at him. "So... beautiful..." says Amanda.

"Like Justin, only hotter..." says Octavia.

"Guys, guys! I'm so much cooler than ol' Trey here! Look what I can do! I can tie my hair in a ponytail with my legs!" says Nic jealously. He tries, but fails miserably too. "Maybe I should resort to the bad part of Alejandro, but I don't want to end up a robot."

"Nic, you will be famous for being pathetic. I'm hoping you get kicked off early." says Chris.

"No, no, no," says Nic. "I am evil like Al. I will kick off everyone one-by-one. You will all see."

"We don't need to hear any more," says Chrissy rudely. "Now shut up."

"I shall vote you off soon enough." says Nic. He waggles a finger under Chrissy's chin.

Chrissy walks away, but is interrupted by a large foghorn. Another boat comes, this time with a husky boy wearing gym clothes and neon-green shoes.

"Hey, guys!" the boy says. "I'm Manty, the most popular and cool dude in all of... where are we again?"

"Manty?" whispers Chrissy to Julia. They both giggle.

"Meg!" screams Manty. He pushes Nic aside, ("Move, midget,") and gets to Meg. He gives Meg a bear hug.

"Get... offa... me." says Meg angrily.

"Who is this idiot?" says Gary.

"Some freak who goes to my school." says Meg. "He thinks he's a 'playa', and he's so popular for no reason."

"Well, I hate him." replies Gary.

"Shut up, shrimp." says Manty. "Your kind isn't popular at my school. You're one of those kids who sits alone at lunch, right?"

"Why are these guys so obsessed with popularity?" says Gary.

Arthur shrugs. "All I know is that I'm morbidly obee--"

"Don't even say any more." snaps Julia.

"Fine, then." rumbles Arthur.

Amanda walks up to Manty. "Oh, you're Manty." she says. "That freak who ate his boogers in kindergarten."

Manty turns beet-red. "Don't mention that, girl. You know I'm just so cool, right? Look at my shoes, everyone!" He shows off his neon green shoes.

"Those shoes suuuuck!" growls Arthur. He begins to say something else, but then sees the last boat.

An extremely beautiful girl with long brown hair and large eyes steps out of the boat wearing a pink and black dress.

"Everyone, meet our last contestant, Elena." says Chris.

"She's a nice one." whispers Gary to Carson.

Carson nods. "But, I'm loyal to Amanda."

"Hi, Chris!" says Elena. "You're so cute." She hugs him.

"Um... Thanks. I don't really get that many hugs from sixteen-year-old girls, but all right." says Chris.

"Yeah, all of the boys here are so cute!" she says. "I like boys, a lot."

"Hi, Elena." says Arthur. "I'm Arthur."

"Hi, Arthur." Elena says boredly.

Julia knees him in the crotch. "Yeah, no girl would like you, 'cuz you're so annoying, ya big tub of lard."

"Shuuuut uuuup!" rumbles Arthur.

Elena walks over to Meg and Chrissy, and introduces herself. "I hope we can be pretty good friends!" she says. "I make friends real easily."

"We'll see 'bout that," says Chrissy slyly.

"Chrissy!" Meg whispers. "We need an alliance!"

"Oh, yeah, right." she says. She then has a lighter tone in her voice, "We'll be like super-BFFs!" she says in a jolly voice.

"Sounds good." says Elena.

Nic then walks in front of Elena. "Hello, beauty." says Nic.

"You're so cute!" says Elena, and hugs him.

"I'm not cute!" says Nic through gritted teeth. "I'm HOT!"

"All right, cutie." says Elena.

Nic begins to argue with Elena.

Chris then says, "What will be in store for these jungle-mates next time? Who will pick the teams, and what will they be named? Who will be eliminated first? And where's Alex? Find out the answers to all these questions and possibly more, on Total... Drama... Tiki, Tiki Jungle!"

Chapter 2- Hide 'n' Tiki

"Last time on Total Drama Tiki, Tiki Jungle," says Chris, "The sixteen campers met each other! For some, it wasn't the first time, for there were eight veterans from Total Drama School! Some of them were treated warmly, while others... not so much. Today, we're going to watch them compete in their first challenge!"

All 16 campers are standing on the dock. Gary whispers to Carson, "What do we do now?"

Carson shrugs.

"Should I tell you what you do now?" asks Chris.

"Yeah, Chrissy!" says Elena.

Chrissy glances at her.

"I meant Chris." says Elena. "I'm just flirting with him."

"All right, then." says Chris shakily. "Your first challenge is today!" Everyone groans. "Yeah, I know. Aren't you excited?"

"Nope." says Gary.

"Well, you should be," continues Chris, "Tiki Island is known to have some restless deities. The two worst ones are Sneaki and Freaki, the Tiki Gods. Every year, they demand a sacrifice of sixteen children. We usually give them monkeys or goats." Chris chuckles. "Well, lucky for you, today's the day they're expecting sixteen kids. So, if you don't want to get thrown into ol' Bessie--" he points to the volcano, "You might want to capture the tikis. The first two campers who bring the gods back get to pick teams. Then, we'll have a small tie-breaker to see which team will be facing elimination. You guys might want to split up into groups to get your prey. But remember, they're very grouchy today. Here's some sacks to put the gods in." He hands each contestant a sack. "Those will be quite useful. Well... see ya!" He runs into the jungle. "BE CAREFUL!" he yells.

"Wanna go together?" Elena asks Meg.

"Sure." says Meg. "I hope we can be good friends." The girls walk into the jungle, but Manty catches up to him.

"Hey, ladies." says Manty. He makes a strange clicking noise with his mouth. "Ya mind if I come with?"

"Yes." says Meg grouchily.

"Um, who asked you?" asks Manty. He then hugs Meg.

"Didn't I tell you not to do that?" says Meg angrily.

"Yeah, you're not even cute!" says Elena.

Manty tears up. "Just... let... me... come... with!" he blubbers.

"You'll never get a girlfriend if you act like that." says Elena.

"You can come with, but you can't talk." says Meg. "At. ALL."

Manty nods, and puts his arms around the girls. They all walk into the jungle.

Carson is talking to Devin and Gary. "I'm guessing we'll continue the Brothas thing, right?" he asks.

"Yeah, dawg." says Devin. "We's always tight, G."

"I hope we're all on the same team," says Gary.

"Me too," says Carson. "So, any girls you guys are thinking about?"

"Yeah," says Gary. "Still Meg. I'm faithful."

"You should stop," says Carson.

"Yeah, she don' like you, G!" says Devin.

"All right, then who do you like, Mr. Gangsta?" says Gary.

"Dat new shawty, Chrissy." says Devin proudly. "She makes me go like, mmm."

"She's pretty hot," says Carson, "But she could probably kill me. So, I don't like her."

"Wha' 'bout you, dawg?" asks Devin.

"Still Amanda." says Carson. "I'm gonna ask her out today."

"WHAT?" screams Gary.

"Why are you so afraid?" says Carson.

"Dude, she hates you!" says Gary. "Her hatred level towards you is over 9000!"

"Yeah, I guess." says Carson. "I just thought--"

Devin gives Carson a pat on the back. "It's okay, G. You's gon' get someone, brotha."

Carson nods sullenly. Suddenly, a person with a tiki mask and a skirt made of leaves on without a shirt grabs Carson and runs away.

"Dude, that was the tiki!" says Gary.

"We missed our chance, yo." says Devin.

"And our brotha." says Gary.

"Shoul' we follow it, yo?" asks Devin.

"Sure." says Gary.

"Okay, homes!" The two run into the jungle with their sacks, but a toucan poops on Devin.

"Darn it, yo!" says Devin. "My hat, brotha! It's ruined!"

Gary laughs.

Meanwhile, Arthur is lying on the sand. Julia walks up to him.

"What?" says Julia angrily. "You so fat ya can't get up?"

"Nooooo." says Arthur. "I don't want to get up. Please carry meeee."

"How much do ya weigh?" asks Julia. "Like, 1,000 pounds?"

"I'm only 205." groans Arthur.

"Dude, that's not morbidly obese. Now shut up, and let's go." snaps Julia.

"Carry meeee." groans Arthur again.

"Fine." snaps Julia. "Get up."

Arthur gets up, and jumps on Julia's back. Julia instantly falls on the ground. "I'm only 105!" she shrieks.

"Wow, you're skiiiiinny." says Arthur. "Unlike I am, because I'm morbidly obeeeese. Now, let me carry you!"

"Eew," says Julia, "I'm not gettin' on your big flabby back!"

"My back is not flabby, it is actually quite strong." says Arthur. He hoists Julia up, and carries her into the jungle.

"Wow, your back is strong." says Julia. "But I still hate you."

Trey is walking along in the jungle. Octavia and Amanda run up to him.

"Hi, Trey!" says Octavia. "Can we come with you?"

"Sure, ladies." says Trey. "Anything's fine."

"Thank you, Trey." says Amanda. She holds out the "y" for a long time.

"Would you girls like to be carried?" asks Trey.

"Sure." says Octavia. She then shrieks. A tiki god is creeping up behind them, grabs Amanda and Trey, and stuffs them into a sack.

Arthur and Julia see the tiki god run away with a large sack. "More people got captured, huh?" asks Julia.

Octavia walks out of the jungle. "Oh, the pain! My two beautiful comrades were stolen away by a large wooden man!" She begins to cry.

"Don't worry, actress girl." says Julia. "We'll bring ya with. Arthur, get lost."

"Noooooo." says Arthur.

"Yes." says Julia. "Now scram, before I kick you in the unmentionables."

Arthur picks up a rock on the ground. "I'll give you this coolly-shaped rock if you let me stay." he says.

"Wow, it is cool." says Julia. "Sure, idiot. But don't be annoying, or any morbidly obese stuff."

"Fine," says Arthur. "But you know, I'm only helping you."

"Yeah, sure." says Julia.

In a different part of the jungle, Chrissy is walking alone. She bumps into Nic.

"What do you want, punk?" asks Chrissy.

"You, my sweet flower." says Nic.

"Well, too bad." says Chrissy. "But, you might be valuable as a human shield for when this tiki comes. But I still hate you. Bye."

"All right, my pretty." says Nic. "Now, I must plot the downfall of everyone else. I will be right back." He trips on a tree stump and lands in mud.

"Aw, crap!" he says.

"So much for being bad." says Chrissy. She then leaves.

Nic swears under his breath.

Sharissa and Helga are pacing about. "Hey, Helgs." says Sharissa.

Helga utters a "Hmph!" and continues walking.

"Listen, Helga." says Sharissa. "I know I was a little rude to you last season, but that doesn't mean I have to be mean this season. So can we just get along and get that tiki?"

Helga utters another "Hmph!" and leaves. She is immediately captured by a tiki.

"That's what ya get when ya don't follow me." mutters Sharissa. She then chuckles and bumps into Chrissy.

"I ditched Nic," says Chrissy.

"Good job, sis." says Sharissa. "Ya wanna stick together?"

"Sure thing." says Chrissy. "Although, I must admit that I'm a bit intimidated by your size."

"You? You're so tough!" says Sharissa. "Well, I must admit that everyone's afraid of something."

"Yeah, I guess." says Chrissy. "Let's go."

Meanwhile, Meg, Elena and Manty are still trying to find the tikis. Manty still has his arms around the two girls.

"You've been cuddling us for more than an hour," says Meg. "Can't you put your big beefy arms around someone else?"

"Yeah, dude. I don't really like you." says Elena.

"Well, I love you." says Manty. He then hugs Elena.

"Eww, gross!" shrieks Elena. "Did you just make your moves on me? I usually hug the boys, they don't hug me!"

"Yup." grins Manty.

Manty meets his end.

Meg kicks a mud puddle at Manty. It hits his shoes and turns them brown and dirty.

"My shoes!" says Manty. "How could you?"

"Sorry, I just had to do it." says Meg. Elena laughs.

Manty runs away. "Gotta find a lake!" he cries.

"Good job," says Elena. "I think you're pretty cool."

"Me too." says Meg. The two girls hug. "Now, what's that stepping noise behind me?"

"I think it's a tiki." says Elena. She then turns around and says calmly, "Yup. Two tikis."

Meg and Elena stuff the tikis into sacks and run back to the shore.

"Welcome, girls!" says Chris. "Looks like you two got the tikis first, eh?"

The two girls nod.

Chris chuckles. "That means you'll be picking teams against each other!"

"Aw, seriously?" says Elena.

"Don't worry, we'll probably make the merge together." says Meg.

"Now, you just have to wait until the rest arrive!" says Chris.

Later, everyone else arrives.

"Finally!" says Chris. "Elena, you can pick your first member."

"Julia." says Elena, and Julia walks up to Elena. "Please don't pick Arthur," she whispers.

"Chrissy." says Meg.

"Good job, sister." says Chrissy, and fist-bumps Meg.

"I pick... what's your name, the tall girl." says Elena.

Sharissa walks over to Elena. "You're pretty tall too." she says. "I like that."

"I pick..." says Meg. She is about to pick someone else, but then sees Gary crossing his fingers. "Gary."

"YES!" says Gary. "Woot! Thank you, Meg." He begins to dance.

"Amanda." says Elena.

"And why did you do that?" asks Amanda.

"I felt like we needed an antagonist on our team." Elena responds.

"Octavia." picks Meg.

Octavia leaps over to Meg's team. "Thank you, my comrade!" she says dramatically.

"Sure." says Meg strangely.

"Carson." says Elena. "You won last time, so I think you'd be a good asset."

Carson hops over to Elena's team. "Thanks, girl." he says. "Hey, you're kinda hot."

"Um... Thanks." says Elena.

"Arthur." says Meg.

"THANK GOD!" yells Julia. Everyone else stares. Arthur waddles over to Meg.

"Devin." says Elena.

"Yo, girl, ya made th' righ' choice, shawty!" says Devin. "You's gon' be th' best team captain ever, word!"

"Please don't make me regret that." says Elena.

"Trey." says Meg. Octavia jumps into the air and whoops for joy.

"Nic." says Elena. "I don't want Helga or creepy Manty, so you're my best choice."

"My beauty, you shine like a wildflower in the sunset." says Nic. "Thank you."

"Do I really have to choose between these two?" says Meg, and looks at Helga and Manty. "I'll take 'em both."

"All right, that ends the team picking!" says Chris.

"Wait, the teams aren't even." says Carson.

"Oh yeah." laughs Chris. "You guys ready to unmask your tikis? Do it, now!"

Meg takes the mask off of her tiki and it's an intern. "Sup, man." says the intern. He walks away to the Raft of Losers, and then leaves.

"Elena," says Chris and chuckles, "Time to unmask yours."

Elena takes off the mask of the tiki.

"ALEX?!?" shrieks Sharissa.

Sure enough, the tiki is actually Alex. He flips his hair back and forth and says groggily, "Hey, Chris. Can I be on their team?"

"Yep. Alex is your eighth member of the team!" says Chris. Sharissa bear-hugs him. He then falls asleep.

"So, now it's time to pick the team names. Team 1, you're up first." says Chris.

Elena looks around, then sees a tiki statue and Alex's tiki mask. "The Terrible Tikis." she says.

"All right," says Chris. "Your team name is the Terrible Tikis. Sounds good. Team 2, what's your name?"

Meg is about to say something, but is interrupted by Gary, who says, "Over 9000!!!"

"All right, your team name is Over Nine Thousand." says Chris.

Team Over Nine Thousand groans, and Gary gets some menacing stares.

"Now, for the tiebreaker challenge. Chef will judge the team names. The name he likes better wins invincibility. The other team has to vote out a player." says Chris.

Chef comes out of the Raft of Losers. "Hey, guys," he grumbles. "I love tikis, so the Terrible Tikis has a nice ring to it. As for Over Nine Thousand... I don't even know what that means. The Terrible Tikis win invincibility!"

The Terrible Tikis cheer, and Elena says, "This team is looking to be great already!"

"And Over Nine Thousand..." says Chef dramatically. "You're facin' elimination."

Meg and Chrissy groan.

Later, Chris leads the two teams to some huts on the beach. One hut looks significantly cleaner and nicer than the other. "These are your cabins!" he says. "Don't they look good?"

"One of them." says Trey.

"Yep. That one is where the Tikis will sleep tonight, since they won the challenge." says Chris. "Over Nine Thousand, on the other hand, will have to sleep in the crappy cabin! But, you can change that if you win the next challenge. Now, go vote out a player."

In the Over Nine Thousand cabin, Meg and Chrissy are discussing who to eliminate. Manty is hanging about, too.

"Ever watched Nebraska Shore?" asks Manty. "That show is so epic."

"That show is pathetic." says Chrissy. "My five year old cousin watches shows better than that."

"Guys, we're straying from the topic." says Meg. "Who should we vote out?"

"Well, it better not be me." says Manty coolly. "I'm the best asset to our team, and I'm also such a hot stud. So please, don't vote me out." He hugs both of the girls, then leaves.

Chrissy heads towards the confessional.

"What're you doing?" asks Meg.

"Voting him out." says Chrissy.

"Can I come with?"

"Please."

Chrissy says in the confessional, "That Manty kid is so annoying. I don't even know him very well, but anyone who thinks he's that cool usually isn't."

Manty says in the confessional, while examining his shoes, "My shoes. My beautiful, beautiful shoes. You know I had to pay for these with my own money? And now they're ruined. Ruiiiiiined!" He begins to sob.

Later at night, Chris leads Over Nine Thousand to a campfire. "We're going back to marshmallows and the campfire ceremony, like good ol' TDI." says Chris. "If you do not receive a marshmallow, you must immediately take the Path of Shame, and catch the Raft of Losers. And you can't come back, ever."

"Wait, you said that last season and Devin and Sharissa both returned." says Gary.

"I'm serious this time," says Chris. "The first marshmallow goes to Meg, the captain of the team."

"Awesome," says Meg, and gets her marshmallow.

"Gary," says Chris, and Gary says, "What good is Over Nine Thousand without me? Thank you."

"Chrissy." says Chris. Chrissy gets her marshmallow.

"Trey, and Octavia." says Chris. The two get their marshmallows.

"Helga, you're safe." says Chris. Helga gets a marshmallow, while carrying a book called "The 176 Clues."

"Gentlemen, this is the final marshmallow of the night."

"Just give it to me already!" says Manty. Arthur glares at him.

"The final marshmallow goes to..."

"...Arthur."

"Yepperoo!" says Arthur. He waddles back to camp.

"You losers just voted me off?" says Manty. "First, a girl says I'm not cute, then my shoes get all dirty, then I'm put on a team with a crappy team name, and now I'm voted out first? You guys all just went way down on the popularity meter!"

"Nobody cares about popularity." says Chrissy. "You were just really annoying, so me and Meg voted you off."

"Aw, shut up, you idiot!" says Manty. "Meg, can I have a hug before I go?"

"Nope." says Meg. "Bye."

"Fine." says Manty. He struts to the Raft of Losers, and floats away.

Later, Meg and Chrissy are conferencing in their cabin.

"Y'know, I sort of felt sorry for the kid," says Chrissy. "He's just so obsessed with being popular. He'll probably drop out of high school, never get married, and end up working at some fast-food chain."

"He goes to my school," says Meg. "He's really a pain."

"Yeah, I guess." says Chrissy. She hugs Meg, and says, "Good night." She then falls asleep.

Chris is outside of the cabins. "Who will win? Who will fail? Why does Nic think he's so bad? And will Arthur and Julia ever stop arguing, now that they're on different teams? Find out next week on Total... Drama... Tiki, Tiki Jungle!"

Chapter 3- White Water Ranting

"Last time on Total Drama: Tiki Jungle..." says Chris, "The 16 campers went on a lethal hunt for two dangerous natives! Luckily, nobody got killed, but a few got kidnapped and seriously maimed. In the end, Elena and Meg won, only to be forced to pick teams... against each other! Ha, ha. I love my job. Team Over Nine Thousand, cleverly named by Gary, lost the tiebreaker challenge, and had to vote out somebody. It was Manty, poor kid. Today, they'll have their second challenge! Stay tuned to find out what it is on Total... Drama... Tiki, Tiki Jungle!"

Nic is sitting on the dock, with his feet in the water, mumbling. Carson walks up to him.

"Sup, dude?" asks Carson.

"Hey." says Nic gloomily.

"What's wrong, bro?" asks Carson.

"Can I ask you something?" asks Nic.

"Depends on what it's about," says Carson.

"Girls," replies Nic.

"Hit me!" says Carson almost instantly.

"All right..." says Nic warily. "Do you think girls like me?"

"They would like you more if you stopped trying to be like Alejandro." says Carson.

"Oh, crap," mutters Nic. "I forgot." He clears his throat. "Leave, my ungrateful minion, or I will vote you off!"

"Just be yourself right now," says Carson, "And you can be back to your annoying self after we talk."

"All right," says Nic. "When a girl says you're cute, does that mean they like you, or they think of you as a little brother?"

"Which girl?" asks Carson.

"Elena," says Nic.

"I'd say the second thing." says Carson.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," says Nic. "I keep telling her that I'm not cute, I'm hot. But she won't listen. She just thinks of me as a tiny kid. I hate when girls do that. So many do that at my school, and it really pisses me off. I want to have a real girlfriend."

"Sorry, bro." says Carson. "You can't really change that. You're short, and you have fuzzy hair and a high voice. Girls will think you're cute. Unless you can find a short girl with fuzzy hair and a high voice, you probably won't get a G.F."

"Whatever," says Nic. "You're no help." He mopes away to the cabins.

"Man, I screwed up." says Carson. "I guess I can concentrate on Amanda, then." He grins, and leaves.

"Wow, way to be no help."

"That's what I'm for." grins Carson.

Meanwhile, in the Over Nine Thousand cabin, Chrissy is complaining.

"Look at this." Chrissy pulls off a piece of wallpaper. "This is so dang flimsy."

"I know, right?" says Meg. "Why do we get the crappy cabin?"

"Because we loooooost." says Arthur blatantly.

"Well, we're not gonna lose anymore." says Meg. "Now that stupid ol' Manty's gone, we have the potential to be an amazing team. Think of us as the Screaming Gophers."

"Yeah. The potential." groans Arthur.

"Shut up, Arthur." snaps Chrissy.

Arthur falls asleep.

"Attention, all jungle-mates!" says Chris over a loudspeaker.

"Jungle-mates?" asks Gary skeptically.

"Do not insult my names!" continues Chris. "Anyways, what I was about to say before Gary rudely interrupted me... Time to report to the dock for today's challenge! Meet me there in five!"

Five minutes later, everyone arrives at the dock. Inflatable rafts are floating in the water, four with green tikis painted on and three with ">9000" painted on in blue.

"Hello, jungle-mates." says Chris. "Ready for today's challenge?"

"Sure thing, dawg!" shrieks Devin.

"All right then. Today, I am not responsible for any deaths, serious maiming, or decapitations that occur." says Chris warily.

The contestants look at him, obviously scared.

"Just kidding, everyone." Chris laughs. "Isn't that funny? Ha, ha?"

An awkward silence occurs.

"All right. Let's get to it. Today, you'll be racing to the other island and bringing back a shell. The first team to bring back a real seashell wins invincibility."

"Sounds easy enough," says Sharissa.

"A-ha, but it's not." says Chris. "There's a catch. Along the way, you'll run into pointy coral that may deflate your rafts, leaving your team vulnerable in the middle of the ocean, being able to be eaten by great white sharks... which are there too. Ha-ha. Anyways, the Terrible Tikis will be traveling in four groups of two, and Over Nine Thousand, you guys are down a member, so one of your rafts will have three people."

"Whatevs." mutters Chrissy dryly.

"The Terrible Tikis, you're up first. Alex and Sharissa will be on boat one."

"Oh, goody." says Alex sarcastically.

"Listen to me, sack." says Sharissa. "Ya better paddle, or I'm feedin' ya to the sharks. Got it?"

"Sure thing." says Alex lazily.

"Devin and Julia," says Chris.

"Oh, lord." says Julia, and Devin swaggers to his raft.

"Carson and Amanda," continues Chris.

Carson makes a clicking noise at Amanda, who rolls her eyes and continues to walk.

"And, that leaves... Elena and Nic." says Chris.

Nic jumps into the air and whoops for joy.

"Hi, Nic!" says Elena. "You're so adorable!"

Carson whispers something to Nic, and Nic nods.

"And for Over Nine Thousand..." says Chris, "Arthur and Helga."

Helga rolls her eyes, and Arthur waddles to the rafts.

"Octavia and Trey."

Octavia bounds to the raft, throwing grass into the air. "My dream has come true!" she says dramatically.

Trey slaps his forehead.

"And Gary, Meg and Chrissy, you three will share the big raft." finishes Chris.

"Yeeeep!" says Gary, and rubs his hands together.

A few minutes later, everyone is in their rafts.

"Teams ready?" asks Chris. "GO!"

The Terrible Tikis get off to a good start. In Alex and Sharissa's raft, Sharissa is doing most of the work.

"Keep paddlin'." says Alex, and lies back and puts his hair in the water.

"Remember what I said?" snaps Sharissa.

"I'm paddlin'." says Alex, who is moving his hands through the water slowly. "With my hands, that is. But it's still paddlin'."

"I hate loopholes," grumbles Sharissa. "So, who do ya like?"

"Why should I answer that?" asks Alex calmly.

"Cause I'm a good match-maker." says Sharissa. "Tell me who ya like and I'll set ya up with her."

"What if you don't know her?" asks Alex.

"Relax." snaps Sharissa. "Prob'ly do."

Alex wrinkles his brow. "We'll see."

Devin is talking to Julia. "Yo homie, why d' ya hate Arthur so much, G?"

"Have I not already explained?" shrieks Julia. "January 2nd, 1995. The worst friggin' day in the whole world. That was when Arthur was born. So, he moved next door to me when we were, like, six or something, and we were friends at first. But he always made me pull him in this crappy ol' wagon. He was so fat back then that it eventually broke, and my mom was forced to get a new one! So, I began to hate him, but our moms were friends, so we were sort of expected to play together all the time. That really made me mad. Finally, one day, he pushed my button a little too far. So, I had this cool tree in my front yard, K? And I loved to climb it and stuff, and since I was only, like, 50 pounds at the time, I didn't put much weight on it. One day, Arthur decided he wanted to climb the tree. Tree's name was Jimmy, by the way. So, Arthur's climbin' on Jimmy, and he snaps a branch! Jimmy's arm! Arthur amputated a living thing's arm! So, after that, Jimmy had to get cut down. And that's why I hate Arthur so friggin' much!"

"Um... Dat's sorta weird, shawty." says Devin.

"I'm not SHORT!" screams Julia.

"It's a term of endearment, yo!" says Devin.

Julia kicks him into the side of the raft. The impact is so strong, that it pops the wall, and the raft begins to inflate.

"Now look what you did!" yells Julia.

"It wasn' m' fault, dawg!" says Devin. "You's th' one who kicked me, G!"

"Whatever." snaps Julia.

Meanwhile, Helga and Arthur aren't exactly getting along.

"You must paaaaaaaaddle!" rumbles Arthur.

Helga is reading a book called "Midnight."

"That's not even a good boooooook!" rumbles Arthur.

Helga does not even look up from her book, and throws some seaweed at his face.

"Ugh," says Arthur, and lays back.

Helga throws her book at Arthur, and says, "Fine, I'll paddle."

A minute after she begins to paddle, the raft springs a leak on Arthur's side.

"Why are you sinking the raft?" says Helga angrily.

"Because I'm morbidly obeeeese!" groans Arthur. "My morbidly obeeeese body cannot handle this boat! The weight limit is 400 pounds!"

"Dude, you're not that fat," says Trey, whose boat gently floats by.

Gary, Chrissy and Meg are in the lead.

"Keep paddling, Gary!" says Meg, and Gary is just staring happily at the raft.

"I just can't get over how much I love this raft!" says Gary. "It says >9000 on it, and there's a picture of Vegeta! Chris did such a great job on the painting!" He accidentally drops his paddle in the water.

"Gee, thanks." says Chrissy. "Way to lose the paddle."

"Now you know what I had to deal with last season," says Meg. "It was stressful."

Chrissy nods. "Wait a second..." she says. "Is that the other island ahead?" She pauses for a minute, then says, "It is! Meg, paddle faster! We're about to win!"

Seconds later, they arrive at the other island.

"Now, to find a seashell." says Gary. He begins to dig in the sand, and finally gets one. "Got it!" he says.

Carson and Amanda arrive at the island. "I'll be taking that," says Amanda, and snatches Gary's seashell.

"Hey!" yells Gary.

"Sorry, dude." snickers Carson, and runs away.

"Let's stop them," says Chrissy, and runs into her boat. The three manically paddle to get up to Carson and Amanda's boat. They finally do, and Meg begins to make the boat bump into the enemy boat.

"Serves you right!" says Meg.

Amanda glares. "You'll pay," she says angrily.

Meanwhile, Elena and Nic are floating along.

"You're so cute," says Elena.

"I'm hot!" rebels Nic.

"All right," says Elena. "Nic, you are not very hot. You're cute, like a baby seal. That's why I love you." She pinches his cheeks.

Nic blushes. "I guess this works. But I am still very evil. You shall be the Heather to my Alejandro, babe."

"You're not the boyfriend type, but you're a good friend." Elena hugs Nic, who scowls.

"Now let's get that seashell," says Elena. Unfortunately, her raft runs into a large mound of coral, and instantly pops.

"Are you a good swimmer? I mean, can you save this hot hunk from that coral?" asks Nic.

"Oh, yeah," says Elena. "I was on my school's swim team in fifth grade!" She hoists Nic up onto her back, and begins to doggie-paddle. "We'll get there in no time!" she says, but then sees a large gray fin rotating around in the water.

"Uh-oh." says Nic. "Is that what I think it is? I mean, I can woo it with my buff ab belly."

"Duh!" shouts Elena. "Run! I mean, swim!" The two violently swim away from the shark.

"At least if I die, I'll have the girl who I like the most with me! I mean, I'll have my sweet love to accompany me!" says Nic.

Elena looks at him.

"Oops." says Nic. "I mean, I am not afraid to confess my love to you, my beautiful hibiscus."

"Let's go." groans Elena, and walks onto the dock back at the island. She looks mad, because everyone else is already there.

"Hello, Elena and Nic," says Chris. "You two are the last to arrive. Team Over Nine Thousand won the challenge, and invincibility."

Gary, who is wearing a lei and a flower print shirt, cheers, and is hoisted up by his team.

"Terrible Tikis, your name suits you well. You did terrible during this challenge, so you're going to get rid of a member tonight. Over Nine Thousand, you guys get the cool cabin."

Team Over Nine Thousand cheers, and they walk away to the cool cabin.

Chrissy says in the confessional, "That challenge was a piece of cake. Literally, Gary found some cake floating in the water. It was actually quite good. Y'know, I actually sort of like my team."

Meg says in the confessional, "No more crappy old cabin for this girl!" She cheers loudly.

Gary says in the confessional, "I still love Meg, a lot. I know I'm not the perfect dude for her, but I stand by my theory that I can get her." Arthur pokes his head inside the confessional, and says, "Yeah, riiiiiight."

Carson and Amanda are sitting by the dock, putting their feet in the water.

"Hey, Amanda?" asks Carson. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, I guess." says Amanda.

"Will you--" asks Carson.

Amanda interrupts him. "Yep."

Carson blushes. "You didn't even let me finish my question!" he says.

"I knew what you were going to say." says Amanda. "I like you, a lot. I started to like you when the season started, I just didn't really feel like showing it. I thought about when you kissed me, last season, and I actually didn't really mind it that much."

"Wanna do it again?" asks Carson funnily.

"Sure," says Amanda, and leans in, about to kiss him, but is interrupted by Julia.

"Um, Amanda?" asks Julia. "Devin is rifling through your stuff, and saying he's a 'coo' lady'. He has your bra."

Amanda stomps towards the cabin, yelling, "DEVIN!"

Once she's gone, Julia looks at Carson. "Sorry, dude." she says. "It just was really creepy, and I wanted him to shut up. If I ruined your relationship, sorry."

"Um, whatever." says Carson. "There's always tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure. Now, I'm gonna go vote out Devin. Wanna watch?" asks Julia.

"You can't do that!" says Carson. "He's my Brotha!"

"But he's annoying." says Julia obviously.

"All right," says Carson. "But don't be surprised if you have to take the Raft of Losers tonight."

"Ugh, whatever." says Julia. She stomps back to the elimination ceremony.

Julia says in the confessional, "I sorta wrecked their relationship on purpose. Devin wasn't doing any of that stuff, he was asleep the whole time. I just don't think they're a good match, y'know?"

Devin says in the confessional, "A goo' Brotha nev'a ditches his otha' brothas fo' some shawty, dat's why I's gon' vote fo' Amanda."

Elena says in the confessional, "I hate Amanda, and Nic is also really annoying. But, today, my vote goes for Sharissa. She's just creepy. I mean, she's nice, but anyone who wears all that makeup and eye liner must be creepy." She touches her face, and looks at herself in a mirror. "Okay, I take that back. I'm going to vote for Nic."

"Hello, Pathetic Tikis." says Chris at the elimination ceremony. "You want to know who's taking the Path of Shame tonight? Well, it's definitely not Alex." Chris tosses Alex a marshmallow, which hits him in the head and lands in his mouth. Alex chokes on the marshmallow, and spits it back out at Chris.

"Um, you're safe." says Chris. "Also safe is Elena." Elena hugs Chris.

"Sharissa is safe," says Chris. Sharissa gets her marshmallow.

"Aaaand... Carson." says Chris. Carson gets his marshmallow.

"Julia." says Chris. Julia gets her marshmallow, and kicks Chris in the shin.

"What was that for?" moans Chris. "You were safe! Anyways, Devin is also safe."

"Yo, yo, foo!" says Devin, and grabs his marshmallow.

"Last but not least, the final marshmallow goes to..."

"...Nic."

Elena groans.

"See, I told you folks!" says Nic. "Evil never gets eliminated!" He bows, and sits back down.

Amanda seems mad. "So, you voted for me, huh?" she says. "Wow, I'm unimpressed. Well, bye, everyone. Losers."

"Wait, Amanda!" says Carson. He runs up to her, and kisses her on the lips.

"Awww..." gushes Elena.

"Yuk." growls Julia.

"Whoo, G!" yells Devin. "I knew y' was gon' do it, brotha! Y' finally got a shawty!"

"That was nice," says Amanda. She brushes her face off, and spits. "Bye." She walks over to the Raft of Losers, and floats away.

"Sheesh!" says Chris. "I certainly wasn't expecting that! Well, will the Terrible Tikis lose again? Will I think of an idea for the next challenge? And will Gary ever get Meg's attention? Probably not, but find out next week on Total... Drama... Tiki, Tiki Jungle!"

Chapter 4- We Gon' Dig It Up, Like It's Dino Bones!

"Last time on Total, Drama: Tiki Jungle..." begins Chris, "The jungle-mates participated in their second challenge, which was just as dangerous as the first one! They had to race to another island in rafts, and bring back a seashell. Some people didn't necessarily get along, while others got along too well. In the end, Carson asked Amanda out, and she finally said yes. But, unfortunately, she was voted out right after. Poor Cars. He didn't get any money, and now his girlfriend is eliminated. Anyways, the challenge today will rock, a lot! Be sure to watch, right here, right now, on Total... Drama... Tiki, Tiki Jungle!"

"Crap," says Carson, in the Terrible Tikis' cabin. "Crappity crap crap crap."

"I's all righ', G." says Devin, trying to comfort him. "At least you wasn't rejected, homes. I's been rejected plenty o' times, dawg, and lemme tell ya: it ain't fun."

"Yeah," says Carson, "But, I'll still kill whoever voted off my girlfriend."

Julia looks guilty.

Julia says in the confessional, "I know it was sorta needed to do that last night, but I sorta feel bad brutally booting off Carson's chick. I mean, she's annoying and mean, but now he's gonna kill me. And I want to vote off Devin tonight, so he's probably gonna kill me again. Shiitake mushrooms!"

"Hey, Elena," asks Julia. "What's it like to be killed?"

"Um... I wouldn't know," says Elena.

Elena says in the confessional, "Something's wrong with Julia. She's acting all weird. Maybe, she's afraid of the wrath of Carson."

Meanwhile, Over Nine Thousand is a little less stressful.

"Look at this," says Gary, pointing to a lava lamp.

"And this," says Chrissy, feeling the gold-plated walls of the reward cabin.

"Aaaaaand thiiiiiisssss." says Arthur, who is slowly sinking into the hot tub. "Aaaaah, that's the stuff."

"I wish we could win every day," says Meg. "It would be pretty nice."

"Yeah, but it probably won't last," says Chrissy. "And some people aren't even enjoying this cabin."

Helga is reading a book called "The Silver GPS." She looks up, and says, "What?" She then continues to read.

"How did I not expect that?" says Meg. "It happened all last season."

Chris meets the campers, this time in the middle of the forest. "Among other things," says Chris, "Like rafting, dangerous tiki gods, and volcanoes, Tiki Island is well-known for its large selection of dinosaur bones, which are buried throughout the jungle. Your challenge today is to build and assemble a realistic dinosaur sculpture."

"Easy-peasy." scoffs Julia.

"But, there's a catch," says Chris. "You will have to find and dig up the dinosaur bones yourself! One set of bones will be painted green, for the Terrible Tikis, and one will be painted blue, for Over Nine Thousand."

"Blue bones?" questions Gary.

"Do not question the interns' work, Garrison." says Chris. "Anyways, the bones are scattered around the island. Some are in very dangerous places, while some are in plain sight." He hands each team a pickax, bucket and shovel. "Happy hunting. You have until nightfall."

"Yippee, more physical work." says Alex. "Carry me, somebody."

"No, thanks." says Sharissa, and walks right past him.

"What? Huh? Sharissa, you're my carrier!" says Alex.

"Not anymore," says Sharissa, and struts away.

Alex says in the confessional, "What's wrong with her?"

Nic doesn't leave. "Chris," he says. "You have not given us breakfast for the past week. How are we supposed to eat?"

"Here," says Chris. He tosses Nic a bag of Chef's Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails.

Nic eats one of the Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails and barfs. "This is disgusting!" he complains.

Nic says in the confessional, "I actually loved it. It was the greatest thing I've ever had in my life. But, Al didn't like it in World Tour, so I'm going with his opinion."

Over Nine Thousand is hiking in the woods. "Where do you think the bones are?" asks Trey.

"Your bones are quite amazingly shaped." says Octavia, and squeezes his cheekbones.

Trey says in the confessional, "I'm sort of liking this Octavia girl, but I'm sorta not. Well, she has pink hair, and that's my favorite color. So, I might ask her out. Then again, her old-fashioned speech could get annoying. I'll think about it."

"I see a blue bone stickin' out of the ground," says Chrissy. "Meg, hand me the pickax."

Meg hands Chrissy the pickax.

Chrissy picks up the pickax, but it sinks into the mud.

"Hey, this isn't mud." says Chrissy. She sticks her foot in. A "gloop" noise is heard, and her leg gets stuck. She finally manages to pull it out, but her shoe is lost.

"Aw, great, it's quicksand." grumbles Meg. "How are we supposed to get the bone?"

"I got it." grumbles Arthur. He waddles into the quicksand, and slowly begins to sink. "This feels goooood." he rumbles.

"Arthur!" snaps Chrissy. "You're supposed to get the bone, not take a bath in it!"

"I'll do both." mumbles Arthur. He picks up the bone, throws it at Meg, and it hits her in the head, causing her to faint.

"Now look what you've done." says Chrissy. She grabs both of his feet, and begins to pull.

"Ugh!" Chrissy begins to strain. "This... is... so... friggin' hard!"

"It's because I'm morbidly obeeeese!" groans Arthur.

Meg says in the confessional, with a bag of ice on her head, "Okay, that's getting old."

Chrissy finally pulls Arthur out of the quicksand. "That took longer than expected." She pulls out a phone. "It took an hour, and we have to be back in three hours. Let's get movin', guys."

"All right." says Meg. She accidentally bumps into Gary, who falls into a hole.

"Nice going." grumbles Helga.

"Ouchies!" says Gary, who's around five feet deep in a hole, with only his head peeking out. "Someone get me out of here! Can someone, like, gimme their shirt to hoist me up?"

"I'll--" begins Arthur.

"No," says Helga.

"I'll do it," says Trey angrily. "For my team!" He takes off his shirt, revealing his buff ab belly. He uses his shirt to hoist Gary out of the hole. Gary comes out with a few bones in his hand.

"Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" says Gary, and hugs him.

"Oh, you are so luscious and beautiful..." says Octavia, and she clamps onto his shoulders.

"Um, thanks," says Trey. "Can you get off of me now?"

Octavia lets go of Trey's shoulders.

Gary says in the confessional, "I just don't get what's so great about that Trey guy. I mean, he's hot, but he's not exactly the best asset to our team... Wait, did I just say that he was hot? AW, MAN! I didn't mean-- I meant he's good-looking-- ahh, just forget it." He slaps his forehead.

Meanwhile, the Terrible Tikis are also trying to find bones.

"Bones, bones," says Elena, scanning the area for bones. "Ah! I see some! Who's the shortest person here?"

Julia hides behind Sharissa.

"Oh yeah, Julia," says Elena. "See those bones in that field of green plants? I want you to grab them."

"Why do I have to do it?" whines Julia.

"Because you're the smallest," says Elena, "And you'll fit through that stump."

"But that's poison ivy," says Julia. "I'm not stupid."

"I beg to differ," says Alex.

Julia glares at him.

"Fine, I'll do it," she says. She crawls through the poison ivy, grabs the bones, and comes out, covered in red rashes.

"At least you didn't die," says Elena. "Good job." She is about to give Julia a high five, but thinks and puts her hand away.

"All right," says Julia. "We've got most of the bones. Now, there are only a few left, and they're in quicksand. Goody."

"I shall do it," says Nic valiantly. "For my team." He takes off his shirt, and dives into the quicksand. Not surprisingly, his body gets stuck. "Oh, no!" he groans. "Will someone get me out of here?"

"Nope, sorry," says Elena.

Everyone else doesn't want to. Sharissa glances at Alex, who's asleep, holding a bucket of bones. She takes the bones, and says to Nic, "Here. Use the bones to prop yourself onto land."

"Got it," says Nic, and grabs the bucket. Unfortunately, the bones sink into the quicksand.

"Quick!" shrieks Julia, and dives into the quicksand. She gets stuck in it too.

"Oh, no, dawg! I'll save ya, shawty!" says Devin.

"I already told you this last challenge!" shrieks Julia. "I'm not short!"

Devin dives into the gloop, and kicks Julia. She gets out, but the bones aren't so lucky. They have completely vanished into the muck.

"I am sincerely sorry, teammates." says Nic, while climbing out of the sand. "I hope I can repay you in the future."

"Yeah, ya can repay us by shutting up," says Sharissa, who picks up Alex and starts walking. "Now we have to get all new bones."

"Geez, I said I was sorry!" whines Nic.

"It's okay," says Elena. "I promise I won't vote you out."

Elena, in the confessional, holds up her crossed fingers.

Meanwhile, Over Nine Thousand is having more luck.

"We got a lot of bones!" says Gary.

"No duh, Sherlock." says Chrissy.

Meg sees the cabins. "Look, we're almost back to camp!" she says. "Now, we just have to build our sculpture."

Suddenly, a large vulture swoops down and grabs the bucket of bones.

"Hey!" rumbles Arthur. "Our booooones!" He clamps onto the vulture's talon, and doesn't let go.

The vulture makes a shrieking noise and crumples onto the ground, moaning.

"Way to go, Arth." says Trey. "Hey, can I call you that?"

"Suuuuuuure." says Arthur. "You're welcome."

The team goes back to camp, and sees Chris.

"Hey, jungle-mates." says Chris. "Ready to build your bones?" He hands the team some glue.

"Helga, hand me the glue bottle." says Meg.

Helga throws a book at Meg's head, then sits down and begins to read another one.

"Ouch!" says Meg. The bump on her head gets bigger. "What was that for?"

Helga says in the confessional, "She was mean to me last season. That's what she gets."

"All right, if you're gonna do that, you're getting voted off." says Chrissy.

"The other team is nowhere in sight. We can't go to elimination." says Octavia blatantly.

"Ta-da!" says Gary. He's done with the dinosaur, which is covered in grass, dirt, and blue paint. "I call this the Grass-o-saurus!"

"Wow, creative name," says Chris sarcastically. "And there's the other team."

The Terrible Tikis, all bruised and cut up, return to the campsite.

"Where's your bones?" asks Chris.

"Our what?" says Julia lazily.

"Your bones. For the challenge." says Chris obviously.

"We lost them in the quicksand," says Elena. "Sorry."

"Well, you'll just have to use these," says Chris. He hands them a pile of plastic multicolored bones that look like small children's toys.

"But, the other team already won." says Carson. "What's the point?"

"There is none!" chuckles Chris. "Happy building!"

Eventually, they finish their sculpture. It's nothing more than a jumbled mess of bones.

"Like it?" asks Sharissa.

"Actually, it's quite amazing." says Chris.

Elena gasps.

"I think you guys might actually win!" says Chris.

Alex wakes up, and begins to dance.

Chris pauses for a moment. "Just kidding!" he says. "Over Nine Thousand won a while ago, so they get invincibility and the cool cabin again."

The Terrible Tikis begin to curse and argue.

"Sorry, that's just the way it goes." says Chris. "You guys have to send a player home tonight."

The Terrible Tikis begin to argue even more.

"Meet me at the campfire." says Chris.

Arthur says in the confessional, "I'm so glad we woooooon again. My team is full of the chicks, dude. I mean, there's Meg, who's sorta nice, there's Chrissy, who's a bit hot, there's that pink haired girl who loooooves Trey, and there's Helga. But, she's a little on the chubby side."

Helga opens the door to the confessional, and says angrily, "You're one to talk."

"I'm sorry!" says Arthur. "I can't help my morbid obeeeesity!"

"Whatever," says Helga. She whacks him with a paperback book, and leaves.

Elena says in the confessional, "Why does my team keep losing? I'm such an amazing team captain! Well, it's probably that Nic's fault. I'm gonna boot him tonight. He's so annoying."

Devin says in the confessional, "I's feelin' a bit outta place tonigh', home dawg. I mean, dere's Carson, and he's m' G, an' dere's dat weirdo Nic, but th' whole rest o' th' team is jus' plain annoying, dawg, y' know wha' I'm sayin'?"

Trey says in the confessional, "I still can't get over why girls like me so much. All right, that tears it. I'm gonna tell Octavia, tonight."

At the marshmallow ceremony, Chris explains the votes. "Hello, Horrible Tikis. One of you is taking the Path of Shame tonight."

"Just get on with it," says Nic.

"Elena, you're safe." says Chris. Elena grabs her marshmallow.

"Sharissa." Sharissa claims her prize.

"Devin, the not-so-gangsta." Devin grabs his prize, and shakes his behind.

"Julia." Julia stomps up, and gets her marshmallow.

"Carson, you're safe too." Carson whoops for joy.

"Gentlemen," Chris stares at Alex and Nic, "One of you is going home tonight. And one of you is not. So, the one who's not is..."

"...Nic."

"AGAIN?" screams Elena. Everyone stares at her.

"Yesss!" says Nic, and takes off his shirt.

"Alex, time to say bye bye bye." says Chris.

"Whatever," says Alex. "What did I do?"

"You're really lazy, and not very helpful." says Julia. "That's why I booted ya."

"Well, see ya." says Alex, and crawls towards the raft. He falls into the water, and floats away.

"Um, that was strange." says Chris. "But, it was good. See ya next time for more dramatic fun on Total... Drama... Tiki, Tiki Jungle!"

Octavia is sitting by the dock, playing a trumpet. Trey walks up to her.

"Hey, Octavia," says Trey.

"What, beautiful one?" says Octavia.

"I like you, a lot." says Trey.

Octavia's face fills up with joy.

"But, I don't exactly want a relationship right now." says Trey. "So, do you think we could take things a little slow?"

"All right," says Octavia solemnly.

"I'm not saying I don't like you!" says Trey. "I just don't want a G.F. right now!"

"Okay," says Octavia. She looks into his eyes gazingly.

They look at each other for a moment.

"This is awkward," says Trey, and walks back to camp.

Chapter 5- A Flag To Capture

"Last time on Total Drama: Tiki Jungle..." begins Chris, "The contestants competed in a dinosaur bone-digging challenge! Over Nine Thousand proved that their awesomeness level is-- well, over nine thousand, and the Terrible Tikis did... terrible. Nic tried to be bad, again, but failed, again. Julia's shortness was quite helpful in the challenge, but led her to get poison ivy. Nic almost got eliminated, after his annoying-ness, but it was actually Alex who got sent home. Why? Nobody knows. Tune in for more fun today on Total... Drama... Tiki, Tiki Jungle!"

Octavia opens the door to her cabin, and slumps onto the bed.

"What's wrong?" asks Meg.

"Boy troubles." says Octavia. "Again."

"Aw, don't worry, Octavia." says Meg. "Boys are sort of useless. I mean, it's a reality show. What do boys do that help you win a reality show?"

"Make alliances," says Chrissy, who struts by.

"Oh yeah, and have you ever had a boyfriend?" asks Helga, who is reading a book called "Very Ugly Creatures".

"Hypocrite," says Chrissy.

"I have had a boyfriend," says Helga.

Helga says in the confessional, "Well, he's a character in the book I'm reading... I like to pretend he's my boyfriend..."

Meanwhile, the boys are talking about girls.

"Just ask her out!" says Gary.

"I don't know if I can," says Trey. "I'm not looking for a relationship right now."

"Consider yourself luckyyyyy." says Arthur. "Usually, when I even get close to a girl like Octavia, she calls the police."

Gary laughs. "So, guys, what do you think the next challenge is?"

"Capture the flag!" says Chris, bursting into the cabin. "Come outside, and I'll explain all!"

"Nah." says Arthur, who is floating in the hot tub. "I'm content here. And such."

Meanwhile, in the Terrible Tikis cabin, Julia is complaining about her poor team.

"What the @#$%! is wrong with this @#$%! team?!?" shrieks Julia. "You @#$%!s are going to have to learn a little thing called EFFORT, is that @#$%! clear?"

"Th' more y' complain to us, foo'," says Devin, "th' less we wanna do it."

Carson nods.

"Have faith, Julia." says Nic. "We shall get the job done in no time. Today, we must win!"

Sharissa chuckles.

"What is funny?" asks Nic. He turns around and grabs a sign off his back saying "I have a poopy diaper."

Elena is shown laughing in the confessional. "That was really, really immature..." she says, "But priceless!"

"This team needs to respect each other." says Nic. "I mean, a poopy diaper? Seriously?"

Outside, by the dock, Chris explains the challenge to the teams. "Today's challenge is a good ol' game of Capture the Flag!" he says. "Everyone knows how to play, right?"

Everyone nods.

"The Terrible Tikis will get this green flag, which matches the color of every tree, shrub and blade of grass in this jungle." says Chris, and hands Carson a green flag.

"Hey, that's unfair!" says Meg.

"They've lost twice in a row," says Chris. "I kinda feel sorry for them."

Julia smiles.

"And, Over Nine Thousand will get this large, and extremely easy to spot, bright red flag." continues Chris. He hands the flag to Gary, who puts it in his pocket.

"Each team will get a base, which they will hide their flag in. The Terrible Tikis will get the east side of the island, with a lot of bushes, and Over Nine Thousand will get the west side, which is mostly water. Good luck hiding your flag in a lagoon." Chris chuckles.

Over Nine Thousand groans.

"If someone from the other team tags you, you're out. The only safe zones are your bases. When you're out, you must proceed to the jail, and you can't get freed unless someone from your team tags you. We're only playing one round. The first team to grab the other team's flag and run back to their base wins!" says Chris.

"We need t' win, homes." says Devin.

"I will give you five minutes to hide your flag, then, it's findin' time!" says Chris. "Oh yeah. And watch out for tigers."

"Tigers?" asks Elena nervously.

"They're big orange cats with stripes, ever heard of them?" says Chris sarcastically. "Now, go!"

The teams rush into the forest. The Terrible Tikis get to their site first.

"Okay, can I be the leader for this challenge?" asks Julia.

"Sure," says Sharissa.

"Okay, guys," snaps Julia. "Me, Sharissa and Nic will stay at the base, protecting the flag and guarding our site. Carson, Devin, and Elena, you guys can invade the other team's base, and get the flag for us."

"Can we wear, like, war paint?" asks Carson.

"Sure." says Julia. "There's a blueberry bush over there. Smear it on yourselves."

Carson takes off his shirt, and smears the letter "C" on his torso.

Devin takes off his pants, and paints stripes on his legs.

Elena takes off her shirt and pants, revealing a bikini, and rubs large blue lines underneath her eyes.

"All right, guys." says Julia. "See ya."

The three war-painted Terrible Tikis trot off into the jungle.

"I'm gonna tie the flag to this tree." says Julia. "Hopefully nobody can see it. It looks like a leaf." She tries to tie it on, but is too short. She tries jumping, but fails too.

"Let me try," says Sharissa, who is quite tall.

"NO!" yells Julia. "I can do it." She then steps onto a stump. She finally reaches it, but only because of the stump. She begins grumbling.

"How tall are ya again?" asks Sharissa. "Like, five inches?"

Julia punches Sharissa in the gut.

"Hey, guys!" says Nic. "We must not fight if we want a good team."

Julia punches Nic in the gut.

Meanwhile, Over Nine Thousand is squishing around in the lagoon.

"All right, guys." says Arthur. "No luuuuuck." He begins to waddle about.

"Hey, we can't give up yet," says Octavia.

"True." says Arthur. He then sits on the flag. "There, it's hidden."

"That works, I guess." says Helga.

Arthur farts.

"...I'm not touching that." says Trey.

"Ewwww." says Helga. "That's really gross. At least hide it in my book or something."

Arthur shakes his head. "Nah, I'm gooood. Where are Gary and the other girls?"

"They went to go find the other team's flag." says Octavia.

Gary, Chrissy and Meg are in the bushes, around five feet away from the Terrible Tikis.

"They look occupied," says Gary. "Perfect time to sneak in and grab their flag."

"Where is it?" asks Meg.

"In that tree," points Gary.

"Ah," says Chrissy. "Stay down!"

Sharissa looks over to the bushes. She sees them rustle. "Julia, I think there's something in those bushes."

"Nah," says Julia.

"I'll go check." says Nic, He takes off his shirt and begins to stalk towards the bushes. Gary, Chrissy, and Meg crawl away.

Nic rifles through the bushes. "Nothin'." he says. "Good."

"Now, please put your shirt back on." says Sharissa.

"No need to." says Nic. "What, do you not enjoy seeing my buff ab belly?"

"Nope." says Julia. "PUT IT BACK ON. I'm gonna go to sleep. When I wake up, I want your shirt on."

Meanwhile, Carson and his gang are invading the Over Nine Thousand base.

"Intruders! Intruders!" shouts Octavia. "We must hide!"

"Where's yo' flag, dawgs?" asks Devin, while jumping up and down and swinging his pants around.

"We don't care where it is, we're gonna take it!" screams Elena.

Arthur giggles.

"Give it up, or we tag you!" says Carson.

Nobody gives it up.

"All right, then we're gonna tag you." says Carson. He charges at the team, tagging Trey, Octavia and Helga.

Elena grabs the prisoners and takes them back to camp. "I found these runts, refusing to give up their flag." says Elena.

"Goody." says Julia. "Throw 'em in the bushes."

Elena ties them up with bamboo and throws them into the bushes.

Suddenly, Chrissy jumps out of nowhere and tags all three of her team members, then runs back to the campsite.

"@#$%!" screams Julia. "We almost won!"

"Well, at least our flag is still here." says Carson. "You could look at it that way."

Gary, Meg and Chrissy are walking through the jungle.

"Tell me what we're looking for again?" asks Gary.

"My water bottle," says Meg. "I left it here yesterday."

"You know, this challenge is sort of all over the place, with no character development whatsoever." says Chrissy.

"Wow, Chrissy. Did you just break the fourth wall?" asks Gary, stunned.

Chrissy says in the confessional, "Mmmaybe. I don't even know what that means. Gary's nerdy, creepy and a bit of a pervert, but sorta funny. I want to beat him up sometimes, but I want to ruffle his spiky little hair at other times. Maybe I should get myself an Over Nine Thousand shirt, too."

"Come on, guys." says Meg. "Let's find that flag."

The three walk towards the Terrible Tikis' campsite. "I see them!" says Gary. "I hope we won't get caught this time."

"Don't worry, we won't." says Chrissy. She picks up a large rock and throws it at Sharissa, who faints.

"Um, you could have just snuck in..." says Meg.

"Chrissy does things the hard way." says Chrissy.

"All right then," says Gary. "Now, let's just get the flag so this unfortunately long challenge can finally end."

Meg sprints in, grabs the flag, and sprints back out.

"Run!" screams Chrissy.

Julia and Nic notice the three Over Nine Thousand team members, and begin to chase after them. But, before they can catch up, the three make it back to their base.

"YES!" screams Meg. "I win again!"

"Third win in a row!" whoops Octavia.

Chris comes up to the two teams with a grin on his face. "Honestly, I didn't expect that. The Terrible Tikis had all the advantages, but in the end, Over Nine Thousand won again."

Trey claps happily.

"So, you guys are safe from elimination." says Chris. "Terrible Tikis, you know the drill. Six of you will become five tonight."

"Aw, nutcakes." says Julia.

In the Over Nine Thousand cabin, Arthur says, "So, this is our fourth night in this cabin, eh? I love this place."

"Me too." says Trey.

"Me three." says Gary. "Hey, anyone want to play Maplopoly?"

"Nope, I can't." says Arthur.

"Why?" says Gary. "Who doesn't love Maplopoly?"

"I need a diaper." says Arthur.

"Arthur, you are the most disgusting person I have ever met." says Helga. "Why would you want a diaper? You're 16."

"Because of my loooose peanuts!" groans Arthur.

Trey says in the confessional, "I don't even know what that means."

Meg says in the confessional, while searching around for her phone, "My boyfriend broke up with me. I mean, he was becoming a bit of a @#$%!, but that's sort of bad. One, because my twin sister will start making fun of me, and two, that means Gary will start liking me again." She slams her head against the wall.

"Did I just hear what I think I just heard?" asks Gary, while playing Maplopoly with Chrissy and Arthur.

"Yeah, but you still have no chance." says Chrissy. "Helga's more your speed."

"Ewww!" shrieks Helga. "No way, Chrissy!"

Gary says in the confessional, "All right, I don't want to sound desperate. But I am! I need a girlfriend really badly! Even my buddy Frankie has one, and he has an afro! His girlfriend's name is Monica and she's the hottest girl in the whole school! Poopy."

"Hello, Terrible Tikis." says Chris, at the campfire ceremony. "One of you will take the Path of Shame, again, tonight. Are you guys scared?"

"No," says Devin. "I's got dis unda control, brotha."

"Well, good, because you're safe." says Chris, and throws a marshmallow to Devin.

"Whoo, G!" says Devin.

"Now shut up. Also safe is Carson." says Chris. Carson gets his marshmallow.

"And... Elena." says Chris. Elena gets her marshmallow.

"Julia." says Chris. Julia stomps up to Chris, gets her marshmallow, then stomps away.

"Sharissa or Nic, one of you is going home tonight. The final marshmallow goes to..."

"Sha--" says Chris.

"Wait!" interrupts Sharissa. "I think I wanna quit."

"NO WAY!" screams Julia. "Sharissa, ya gotta stay! You're one of the only cool people on my team! I know I insulted you and punched you in the gut, but I still like you a lot! Please don't make me be the only girl on the team!"

"Uh, I'm a girl." says Elena.

"Yeah, sure." says Julia. "Sharissa, pleeeeease stay! PLEASE!"

"Sorry, Terrible Tikis." says Sharissa. "I want to see Alex. I miss the little guy."

"Awww..." says Elena. "That's so sweet!"

"I like the guy, a lot." says Sharissa. "I mean, he's a lazy bum and all, but... He's cute, and funny, and awesome, and I want to see him really badly. Bye, everyone." She mopes to the Raft of Losers, and floats away.

"So, our runner-up from last season, and our third-placer, are both out! Only the winner is left remaining. Ironic, isn't it? Well, there's only one way to find out about who's going to get eliminated next... Watch the next episode of Total... Drama... Tiki, Tiki Jungle!"

Chapter 6- Drum, Bass, and Tiki

"Last time on Total Drama: Tiki, Tiki Jungle..." begins Chris, starting off the episode, "The contestants played a little game of Capture the Flag, my favorite game! The Terrible Tikis got the advantage in the challenge, not only getting to hide their flag in the darkest part of the jungle, but getting a flag the same color as all of the plants! But, Over Nine Thousand won again. It's getting pretty predictable. Anyways, Nic was supposed to be eliminated, but instead, Sharissa quit because she wanted to see Alex, who was eliminated in the previous challenge. I remember when I had my first girlfriend... Anyways, today's challenge will be pretty creative! Tune in for some fun, right here, right now, on Total Drama: Tiki Jungle!"

The Terrible Tikis are slumped around their cabin.

"Seriously?" groans Julia. "Guys, we've lost three times in a row. You guys are being such idiots."

"Hey, it's not our fault." says Carson.

"Actually, it is." snaps Julia. "Carson, you've done nothing this whole season except kiss that nasty what's-her-face.

"Well, all you do is complain about Arthur." says Carson.

"It's not my fault that he's a whiny little @#$%!" screams Julia.

"Watch your language." says Elena. "Stop being naughty. Nobody likes girls who swear."

"Well, Elena, you have basically done nothing except flirt with boys. We all know you don't actually like any of them. That's what flirts are like." says Julia.

Nic looks up from his bed. "Wha?"

"SHE HATES YOU!" shrieks Julia. "Get a clue, dumbwad!"

Nic says in the confessional, "Nobody calls an evil villain with a beautiful buff ab belly a dumbwad!"

"And Nic," says Julia, "You don't have a buff ab belly. You are not evil. You're not even attractive. So, will you shut up, before you get turned into a robot?"

Nic stands there awkwardly with his mouth hanging open like a dead fish.

"Yo, G." says Devin. "Dat ain't coo', dawg. You's supposed 'ta be a goo' membah o' our team, word. An' you isn't."

"Devin," says Julia. "I can't even understand half the things you say. So, why don't you just talk like a normal person!"

"But I isn't a normal person, G." says Devin. "I'mma gangsta."

Julia puts a serious expression on. "Devin, you are not a gangster." she says quietly. She then goes back to her normal, high-pitched, whiny voice. "What's up with all the poseurs on our team?"

"Who else is a poseur besides Devin?" asks Nic.

Everyone stares at him for a few seconds, then begins to laugh.

The scene switches to the Over Nine Thousand cabin.

Gary is playing Maplopoly with Chrissy, Meg, and Octavia. "Yes! I won!" he says. He begins to do a victory dance that consists of shaking his behind.

"Gary," says Chrissy. "You've won seventy-six times, and you've done that victory dance every time. I'm getting bored of it."

"Yeah, when's the next challenge?" asks Meg. "It's been around a week since that capture the flag challenge."

"As a matter of fact," states Octavia, "It's actually only been a day. It has just seemed like a week, because we're bored of this cabin."

Arthur says in the confessional, "Chris has just told me that I am not a fan favorite. Possibly, it is because of my morbid obeeeesity. or, the fact that I complain. Either way, I have to lose some weight." He pats his belly.

"Guys, why do you think we have such a winning streak?" asks Trey.

"Maybe because of all our valuable team members," says Helga snidely, while reading a book called "The Magazine Stealer."

"Shut up, Helga." says Chrissy.

"I'd rather not." says Helga.

Chrissy says in the confessional, "That Helga really pisses me off. I'd like to vote her out. That is, if we ever lose. Ugh."

Chris meets the remaining twelve contestants at a new amphitheater.

"Hey, I didn't notice that before." says Arthur.

"Yeah, because I just built it! That is, with the help of my trusty interns." says Chris. He motions to some interns, who are piled up in a heap and sweating like crazy.

"So that's why the challenge took you so long." says Meg.

"Yeah, I guess." says Chris. "Anyways, today's challenge is a sing-off!"

Most people groan, while Octavia cheers.

"You will get two hours to get ready for your performance." explains Chris. "The team with the coolest effects, and the best singers, will win invincibility. Also, you might want to add some flashy lights, and whatnot. Chef and I love that stuff. You can pick any song you want, as long as it's age-appropriate."

Elena raises her hand.

"What?" snaps Chris.

"How does this have to do with drama, tikis, or jungles?" she says.

"Don't know." says Chris. "I've just been waiting to do this challenge for quite a while. Now, start! Remember, you only have two hours."

"All right, teamies." says Devin. "I's an amazin' singa'."

"All right," says Julia. "What have you got?"

"Shawty's like a melody, in mah head, dat I can't keep out, got me singin' like..." begins Devin, in a horrible voice.

"No." snaps Julia.

"'Cause yo' amazin, jus' the way ya' are!" sings Devin.

"Nope." groans Elena.

"Hi, mah name is... Wha'? Mah name is... Wha'? Mah name is..." says Devin.

"Horrible singer." says Carson snidely.

"Let me try to sing." says Nic valiantly. "Alejandro was an amazing singer. I hope to follow in his footsteps."

"Actually, no he wasn't." says Julia. "He was one of the worst singers in the season. He used too much autotune, and when he didn't, he sounded like a dying zucchini. I still don't get how you can use autotune on a friggin' reality show."

"Okay, then." huffs Nic. "Don't you have all of those costumes in your bag, Elena?"

"Oh, yeah." says Elena. "That might work for the visual effects. Let me go get them."

She runs to the cabin, then comes back with her bag, overflowing with costumes.

"All right." says Elena, going through her costumes. "Sunglasses for Julia..."

Julia grabs her sunglasses, then complains. "I look like a cool cat."

"And, a hot pink vest and bell bottoms for Carson..." says Elena.

Carson grumbles and puts the stuff on.

"Some bling and some apple bottom jeans for Devin!" says Elena happily.

"Yay, thanks dawg!" says Devin. "I's got a goo' idea fo' th' song, G!"

"Thanks a lot." says Julia. She punches Elena in the arm.

Elena says in the confessional, "Julia may be small, but she certainly can pack a punch. Wow, that really hurt."

"I'll just wear my pajamas." says Elena. "That's it, right?"

"You forgot me, madam." says Nic.

"You're not part of my team, as far as I'm concerned." says Elena.

Nic scowls, and sees that the only thing left in the bag is a blonde wig. "This'll have to do." says Nic, and puts the wig on.

"You suck, Nic." says Elena angrily. "That's my wig."

Nic says in the confessional, "Okay, Elena has got to go. I know I liked her at first, but I know her true nature. She's a ruthless monstress bent on destroying the world!" He pauses for a moment. "Either that, or she's just grumpy."

Meanwhile, the Over Nine Thousand team is trying to come up with ideas as well.

"Let's sing a song about morbid obeeeesity." says Arthur.

"Oh yeah, and Chris would looove that. We would totally win." says Helga sarcastically.

"I have a great song to sing, guys." says Octavia. "It's called 'Gary, Indiana.' It's from one of the plays I was in."

"I totally support that." says Gary. "Let's do it!"

"Gee, I wonder why." says Helga snidely.

"Hey, guys?" asks Trey. "Where's the fluorescent light thingies?"

"I don't know." says Arthur. "I swear, I just saw them."

Helga motions to Gary, who's waving, with fluorescent lights wrapped around him.

"I got carried away." says Gary sheepishly.

"All right, I'll see how long it takes to unravel them from our little nerd friend." says Trey.

Arthur picks up a grapefruit from the ground. He looks at it for a minute, then grins.

Arthur says in the confessional, while eyeing the grapefruit, "Maybe this will tighten my peanuts."

Octavia says to Meg and Chrissy, "We must also dress elegantly if we want to win this challenge." She takes out her ponytail holder, revealing her long, flowing hair.

"Wow." says Gary.

"Homina homina homina." says Arthur.

Trey approaches Octavia. "You look very nice like that." he says.

"Thanks." Octavia says, unimpressed.

Chrissy stomps towards Meg. "Look at what Octavia made me wear."

She is wearing a belly dancer-like outfit with beads, a skirt, and pink slippers.

Meg bursts out laughing.

"I hate pink, beads, and pink beads." says Chrissy. "This is an embarrassment."

"Well, Octavia made me take out my ponytail." says Meg. "I look like Hannah."

"Who?" asks Gary.

"My pathetic twin sister." says Meg. "She's sorta annoying."

"Wait..." says Gary. "You mean, there's another you?"

Gary says in the confessional, "Another Meg! Hotness, which is already over 9000, times two! I have to meet her!"

Meg pokes her head in. "You don't want to meet her." she says. "She's sort of a downer."

"Does she run?" asks Gary.

"No, she plays soccer." says Meg.

"I played soccer once." says Gary. "I was the shag."

Meg laughs, then leaves.

Chris says from the amphitheater, "Only five minutes left!"

"You guys ready?" asks Julia, with her sunglasses on, holding a microphone.

"Yeah!" says Nic. "I mean, Si!"

Julia says in the confessional, "Oh, and now he's trying to learn Spanish? I sorta feel sorry for that little guy."

"Wait!" asks Devin. "Is we gon' do th' Apple Bottom Jeans thang, yo?"

"I guess." says Elena. "It's our last resort."

"Wow, Devin. Your pants are pulled up." says Carson. "You're still wearing apple bottom jeans, but it's an improvement."

"Thanks, dawg." says Devin.

"All right, jungle friends." says Chris. "The Terrible Tikis will go first. Are you guys ready?"

"Yeah, man!" says Julia. "We're gonna win!"

"Yeah, I don't know about that. But, let's see what you got."

Devin goes in the center of the stage, while Nic, Elena and Julia are putting up lights, and Carson is dancing.

"She had them, apple bottom jeans!" sings Devin.

"Jeans!" says Carson.

"Boots with th' fur!" says Devin.

"The fur!"

"The whole club lookin' at her! She hit the--" says Devin.

"Wait a second." says Chris. "I said the song had to be age appropriate, and this song is not. Sorry, guys. Let's hear Over Nine Thousand sing."

Octavia is rolling about on the ground.

"What have we here?" asks Chris.

"Stage... fright..." mumbles Octavia.

"Dude, you're in front of, like, eight people. Nothing to be afraid of." says Gary.

Octavia barfs on Gary.

"Looks like we have some technical difficulties here." says Chris. "Over Nine Thousand will not be able to perform."

The Terrible Tikis cheer.

"Yes!" screams Julia.

"Wait a second." says Chris. "I never said you guys won."

"Huh?" asks Julia.

"You had an extremely suggestive song. Over Nine Thousand wins... again. Honestly, I'm giving you so many advantages, and you still suck every time. Sorry, guys. Another elimination." says Chris.

In the Over Nine Thousand cabin, they're complaining, surprisingly.

"All right guys, we have to lose next time. I'm not even kidding." says Gary.

"We know." says Meg. "What can we do to lose?"

"I don't know, do nothing in the next challenge?" asks Arthur.

"You already do that, idiot." snaps Helga.

"Hypocrite." groans Arthur.

Nic says in the confessional, "I have some evil plans tonight. Ol' buff ab belly and I have been plotting. Right, Abby?" Nic makes his belly button resemble a mouth and says in a high voice, "Yeah, Nicky! You're the best!"

Elena says in the confessional, "I'm gonna win this thing. All I have to do is keep manipulating the dumb boys into thinking that I like them. I'm a pretty good antagonist."

Chris says at the elimination ceremony, "Greetings. Tonight, Nic actually gets the first marshmallow."

"Yes!" screams Nic.

"Julia is also safe." says Chris.

Julia gets her prize.

"And Devin. You sucked in the challenge, but got no votes against you, so good job." says Chris.

Devin swaggers up to the plate, and gets his marshmallow.

"The last marshmallow goes to either Carson or Elena. Carson, people view you as a threat." says Chris.

"Why, just because I won the first season?" asks Carson.

"Yeah, I guess. And Elena, I don't know what happened. The final marshmallow goes to..." says Chris.

"...Carson."

"All right, then. Thanks, guys." says Carson, and walks back to camp.

"What?" says Elena, obviously hurt. "Who voted for me?"

"Apparently, Nic, Carson, and Devin." says Chris. "Sorry, girl. Time to go bye-bye."

"Idiots." says Elena, her sad face turning into a scowl. "You're gonna wish you never did that. See ya, buttfaces." She walks past the Raft of Losers, and starts doggie-paddling away.

Nic says in the confessional, "Elena was expendable, they all are. Some will prove to be more challenging than others, but one by one, they'll all go down." He stomps his foot, opening a manhole. The manhole sends him plummeting down. "Crap!" he says from inside the hole.

"Wow, who knew that Nic would actually get something done? I mean, he's still sort of a failure, but he did eliminate a good player! Find more of this juicy stuff next time on Total Drama: Tiki Jungle!" exits Chris.

Chapter 7- War and Puzzle Piece

"Last time on Total Drama: Tiki Jungle..." begins Chris, "The campers participated in a sing-off! Of course, the Terrible Tikis lost again, this time because Devin picked out a very inappropriate song. However, he wasn't the one who got voted off! It was actually Elena! All because of everyone's favorite failure of an antagonist, Nic, who actually got somethin' done this time! Today's challenge is ridiculously random, but it will be fun! Watch it, today, right here on Total... Drama... Tiki Jungle!"

Team Over Nine Thousand is playing Maplopoly.

"How many times have we played Maplopoly...?" asks Chrissy.

"I don't know. You're smart. You can probably figure it out yourself." snaps Helga, without even looking up from her book, "The King of the Jewelry".

"Shut up, Helga." say Gary and Chrissy in unison.

"Ask nicely..." says Helga, waggling her finger.

Chrissy sticks her middle finger up at Helga, and it is censored.

Gary slaps his forehead. "You know what?"

"What?" asks Octavia, who's slumped on her bed.

"I'm gonna ask the Terrible Tikis to trade cabins." says Gary.

"NUUU!" says Octavia.

"I thought everyone hated this place." says Arthur. "I mean, I'm practically stuck in this hot tub."

"I sorta like it here." says Trey. "It's tight."

"And I'm tight." says Arthur. "-ly stuck in this hot tub."

"I wonder why Meg has been in the confessional for so long." says Gary.

"Maybe she's constipated." says Arthur.

"We did not need to hear that." says Helga.

Meg says in the confessional, "My sister, Hannah, just texted me that my ex-boyfriend wants to get back together with me. I mean, it might upset Gary, but, whatever. Now, I'm just sitting here, pondering."

Arthur comes in the confessional.

"EEK! Arthur, what are you doing here? I'm trying to contemplate!" says Meg.

"I need to take a wazz." says Arthur.

"You can wait." says Meg.

Arthur farts, then closes the door.

Meg coughs, then vomits.

Meanwhile, at the Terrible Tikis' cabin, Nic is plotting.

Nic says in the confessional, "I'm actually a good baddie! Yay! I voted off Elena, and it's all thanks to my beautiful friend, Abby." Nic rips off his shirt, and rubs his belly.

"I am gonna try not to yell." says Julia. "But, you know that I am very angry at you guys."

"Shut up, dawg." says Devin.

"Dude, we have four people on our team. We can't possibly win." says Carson.

"We know. We're an utter failure." says Julia.

"We cannot bring ourselves down like this!" says Nic. "A team is a team, and we shall work together to get the job done!"

"You are not Alejandro." says Carson.

"Oh yeah? Tell that to Abby!" says Nic, and rips off his shirt.

"Abby, you are not buff, and Nic is not Alejandro." says Carson.

Nic huffs away.

"So, what is there to do in this cabin?" asks Julia.

"Ya can sag, dawg." says Devin.

"Yeah, I'd rather not." says Julia, disgusted.

"C'mon, foo'. Get yo' pants on th' ground." says Devin.

Carson gets a pair of pants out of his backpack and puts them on the ground. He then begins to laugh hysterically.

"Wow, so funny." says Julia.

"Attention, all campers." says Chris over a loudspeaker. "Please report to the field, where we will begin today's challenge."

"Ready to lose again?" asks Julia.

"Yeah, word." says Devin.

The remaining 11 contestants meet Chris in a field, where there seem to be random items strewn about.

"Welcome, Over Nine Thousand and Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Tikis." says Chris.

Nic grumbles.

"Toady's challenge is ridiculously random." says Chris.

"Oh, goody." says Helga.

"Two people will be paired up for these mini-challenges," says Chris. "So, for example, say Helga and Carson had to do a puzzle, Whoever finishes the puzzle first wins a point. At the end, the team with the most points wins."

"Which is us." says Meg.

"Yeah, I know." says Chris. "However, the teams are not even, so three people from Over Nine Thousand will sit out. Any volunteers?"

Helga grabs a book out of her pocket and sits by the sidelines.

"Any more out-sitters?" asks Chris.

Meg and Octavia go over by Helga and sit down.

"All right, that's it." says Chris. "The first challenge will be Nic versus Trey. You two will have to do a puzzle. The first person to finish their puzzle wins."

"Aw, man." says Nic. "This guy will make me jealous."

"Are you ready?" asks Chris.

Nic and Trey walk over to a table and sit down. Trey has an 1,000 piece puzzle, while Nic has a 100 piece.

"How is this fair?" asks Trey.

"It's not. We want the Tikis to win. Knowing you guys, though, you will find a way." says Chris. "Now, you can start."

Nic begins to contemplate about his puzzle.

Trey rapidly puts the border pieces together.

"Quit making me jealous!" says Nic.

"Shut up! I'm trying to concentrate." says Trey.

Octavia cheers from the sidelines. Helga glares at her, and Octavia stops.

Helga says in the confessional, "I've always thought there was something up with that Trey guy. I mean, he's a little bit shady."

"Go, Nic!" says Helga.

"Dude, he's on the opposite team." says Meg.

"Yeah, I know, but I like him more than Trey." says Helga.

Octavia slaps Helga. "How dare you!" she screams.

Trey finishes his puzzle, then takes off his shirt.

Nic says in the confessional, "I think he did that simply to make me jealous. Lousy Trey."

"Trey wins the first challenge. So, it's 1-0, with the >9000s in the lead." says Chris. "Next up, it's Julia versus..."

"Let me guess, Arthur?" asks Julia.

"How did you know?" says Chris. Arthur waddles up to the field.

"You two are gonna have a water balloon fight. Whoever gets hit first loses." says Chris. "I'll give you five minutes to change into your bathing suits."

Five minutes later, Julia comes out with a bikini and her hair tied up in a bun, and Arthur is wearing flower print swimming trunks.

"Go." says Chris.

Julia picks up a gargantuan water balloon. "Take this, you morbidly obese idiot!"

"NUUUUUUU!" screams Arthur. Then, in slow motion, he gets hit smack dab in the nads and falls onto the ground.

"Julia wins, the score is now 1 to 1." says Chris.

Julia shakes her booty in Arthur's face.

"Our next challenge is a dance-off, it's Carson against Chrissy." says Chris.

Carson and Chrissy come up to a stage.

"Whoever can dance the best wins a point." says Chris.

Chrissy begins to dance. She puts her feet on top of each other, shakes her behind, and moves her hands around.

"Not too bad." says Chris.

Carson, meanwhile, break-dances.

"Not too good." says Chris.

Carson blows a raspberry at Chris.

"Chrissy wins this challenge." says Chris. "The score is now 2 to 1, with the >9000s in the lead. This last challenge is Devin against Gary."

"Oh, no." says Gary. "But Chris, he's my Brotha!"

"Exactly why I picked you two." says Chris. "Now, if Gary wins this, the Over Nine Thousand team wins invincibility again. If Devin wins, we go into a tiebreaker."

"Don'cha mean, when Devin wins, dawg?" says Devin.

"Yeah, sure." says Chris. "Now, your challenge is wrestling."

Chrissy bursts into laughter. She laughs so hard, she almost cries. "Two shrimps... wrestling?"

"I ain't no shrimp, dawg." says Devin.

"Here are your singlets." says Chris. He hands them outfits that resemble girls' bathing suits.

"This will be interesting." says Gary.

Gary and Devin step into the wrestling ring.

"The first person to pin their opponent wins." says Chris. "For ten seconds, that is."

"A'ight." says Devin.

"Are you ready? Are you steady? Are you... GO!" says Chris.

Devin begins to swagger.

Gary moves timidly into the corner.

"I ain't gon' hurt ya, brotha." says Devin.

"But, how will we win?" asks Gary.

Devin falls over on purpose. "Sit on me."

"No way, dude!" says Gary. "Are you stupid?"

"I want ya to win, brotha." says Devin.

Gary reluctantly sits on Devin. Chris blows his whistle. "Team Over Nine Thousand wins... again! YEE-HAW!" he says. "As for the Tikis, you know the drill. Vote out someone out tonight."

Team Over Nine Thousand is in their cabin.

"Okay, this is the last straw." says Meg. "We are officially going to do nothing for all the challenges from now on."

"But I loooooove this place." says Arthur, who is drinking a juice box.

Meg slaps the juice box out of Arthur's hand. "FOCUS!" she says.

"Who's our first target for when we lose?" asks Gary.

"What about Helga?" asks Chrissy.

"If you vote me out, you will be destroyed emotionally." says Helga snidely.

"All righty then, not Helga." says Gary anxiously.

"What about that Trey guy?" asks Arthur. "I dislike him strongly."

"You know, he can hear you." says Octavia.

Trey is blow-drying his hair. He takes off his sunglasses, revealing he has little dots for eyes, much like Chris.

"Can I call you Beady?" asks Gary.

"No." says Trey coolly.

Arthur laughs juice out of his nose.

"Eww." says Meg. "That's gross."

Arthur spits some of his juice on Meg.

"That's even grosser." says Meg disgustedly.

Meanwhile, the Terrible Tikis are voting someone out.

Nic says in the confessional, "I know my perfect target tonight. Carson. He's a threat. I mean, he won the first season. So that's why my vote for tonight goes to Carson."

Julia says in the confessional, "I have voted for Nic every stinkin' time, and he hasn't been voted off. WHY?!?"

Chris says at the campfire ceremony in a spooky voice, "Good eeeevening."

"Sup?" asks Devin.

"One of you will take the Path of Shame tonight. And it's not Julia." says Chris.

Julia gets her marshmallow.

"It's not Nic, either." says Chris angrily.

Nic does a little victory dance.

"The final marshmallow goes to..."

"...Devin."

Devin gets his marshmallow, but shakes his head. "It wasn't me, homes." says Devin.

"All right, that sucks. Thanks for voting me off." says Carson. "Bye." He leaves for the Raft of Losers.

"Well, that was sort of anti-climactic." says Chris. "Tune in next time for more dramatic fun, on Total... Drama... Tiki Jungle!"

Chapter 8- Islandwide Treasure

"Last time on Total Drama: Tiki Jungle..." begins Chris. "The two teams participated in strange, random mini-challenges. Some highlights were Devin wrestling Gary, and Nic versus Trey in a puzzle-showdown. The Tikis lost again, this time sending home Carson for some unknown reason. Anyways, will the Tikis get completely wiped out? Tune in today on Total Drama... Tiki Jungle!"

The scene switched to the Over Nine Thousand dorm, where they are discussing last names.

"So, we know Gary's last name is Ford..." says Octavia.

"Garrison Ford is my full name." says Gary.

"We don't care." says Helga.

"Trey, what's yours?" asks Gary.

"My what?" says Trey.

"Last name, you idiot." says Helga.

"Oh, it's St. Clair." says Trey.

Arthur bursts out laughing.

"What?" asks Trey. "You find my last name funny?"

"Yes, I actually do. I mean, Clair is a girl's name. So basically part of your last name is a girl's name. And St. reminds me of St. Nicholas, who is Santa Claus. And Santa Claus is basically some fat guy who comes in and steals your cookies. He also sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake and bad and good so be good for goodness sake. And a tray is something you put food on when you're at a crappy restaurant. So, basically, your name is Something-you-put-food-on-when-you're-at-a-crappy-restaurant Santa Claus Girl's Name." says Arthur.

Trey slaps his forehead.

"You're calling Santa Claus a fat guy?" asks Meg snidely.

"I am not fat, I am morbidly obeeeese. You do know there is a difference." says Arthur calmly.

Chrissy is carving a picture of her face on the toilet.

"What's your last name?" asks Arthur.

"Your mother." says Chrissy.

"Chrissy Your-Mother?" asks Arthur. "Is Chrissy your real first name?"

"Nope, it's Christian." says Chrissy.

Arthur bursts out laughing again. "That's a dude's name!"

Chrissy pulls a knife out of her pocket.

Gary is playing some sort of video game.

Gary says in the confessional, "I found this on the ground yesterday. It's sorta cool, actually. I think it was in some sort of treasure chest. I don't know if I should have taken it, but whatever."

"Hey, is that Pogeyman Gray?" asks Chrissy. "I used to love the Pogeymans series. Now, it's sorta jank."

"Jank?" asks Helga skeptically.

"Dumb, uncool, idiotic." says Chrissy.

"Ah." says Helga. "I see."

Arthur is twiddling his thumbs.

"Anyone have a cup I can borrow?" he asks.

"Why would you need a cup?" asks Trey.

"Um... never mind..." says Arthur awkwardly.

Everyone stares at him.

The scene switches to the Terrible Tikis' cabin.

"Are we even allowed to call ourselves a team anymore?" asks Julia.

"Meh." says Nic. About six pillows are stuffed in his shirt.

"What's wit' th' pillows, dawggy?" asks Devin.

"It makes me look buff." says Nic.

"Actually, it just makes you look really fat. Or morbidly obeeeese, like Arthur." says Julia.

Nic mumbles something dirty.

"All right, guys, we have to win this challenge, or else neither of you will wake up tomorrow morning." says Julia.

"Fine then, homes. Ya don' hafta be like dat, G." says Devin.

"What is the challenge, anyways?" asks Nic.

Chris rudely enters the cabin.

"A treasure hunt." he says. "Meet me at the center of the jungle in five."

Five minutes later, the contestants meet Chris at the jungle.

"I am very, very mad." says Chris.

"Pourquoi?" asks Octavia.

"Parce que, some idiot took one of the treasures. It was a Pogeymans game. And do not speak French." says Chris.

Gary looks disturbed.

"You did not take the game, did you?" asks Chris.

Gary whistles innocently. The game falls out of his back pocket.

"A-ha." says Chris. "B-U-S-T-E-D, you are busted."

Gary's underarms begin to sweat.

"All righty then, onto the rules of the challenge." says Chris hurriedly. "Each team will get a treasure map. You will have to follow the map, obviously, and get the treasure, even more obviously. First team to return with the treasure wins invincibility."

"Please be the Tikis... Please be the Tikis..." chants Meg.

"The treasures will be many things. They might be money, while they might be... worthless junk." laughs Chris. "Here are the maps. See ya later." Chris hands the teams their maps.

"All right, everyone, time to get moving. I'll be in charge of the map." says Gary.

"Are you sure?" asks Trey. "Couldn't we just put it in this?"

"What is that?" asks Arthur.

"It is a satchel." says Trey.

"Nope, that looks like a man purse." says Arthur.

"I was afraid you'd say that." says Trey.

"Anyways, let's go. The other team is already ahead." says Octavia.

"Isn't that we want?" asks Meg.

"Touche." says Octavia.

The Terrible Tikis are marching in a line.

"All righty, everybody. If we want to win, we have to follow this map." says Nic.

"No duh, Sherlock." says Julia.

"Ya know, ya jus' sap th' joy outta everythin', dont'cha?" asks Devin.

"Pull your pants up, it's nasty." says Julia.

"Wait a sec, there must be a mistake." says Nic.

"Why?" asks Julia.

"Well, the map ends right here, and we're right by the ocean." says Nic.

Chris drives by on a tractor.

"It wasn't a typo. Get your bathing suits on." he says, then chugs away.

A couple minutes later, the Tikis are all ready to go into the water.

"You know, you don't look that bad in a bikini." says Nic.

Julia glares at him.

"And you don't look that good in a Speedo." says Julia.

"Wait a sec, why you be wearin' a Speedo, boy?" asks Devin.

"Alejandro did." says Nic.

"Gotcha." says Devin.

"How do we know where the treasure is?" asks Julia.

"I don' think we do, shawty." says Devin.

"Let's just go in." says Nic.

The three Tikis jump in the water.

Meanwhile, Over Nine Thousand is walking about.

" ♪ We're marching, we're marching, we're marching everywhere. ♪ " sings Arthur.

"Shut up, Arthur." says Chrissy.

" ♪ We're marching, we're marching, hope we don't see a bear. ♪ " sings Arthur.

Chrissy grumbles.

"Sing with me, Gary." says Arthur.

Gary begins to sing the annoying song.

Chrissy pulls out a knife, and the boys immediately stop.

"Wait a sec, Gary, where's the map?" asks Meg.

"Oh, no." says Gary. He cannot find it.

"Gary, you idiot. Why did you misplace the map?" asks Helga.

"I'm sorry, guys!" screams Gary.

"You know, we aren't really gettin' anywhere. We might as well just drop our stuff, sit down, and play Maplopoly." says Chrissy.

"A good man always comes prepared." says Arthur, and pulls a mini Maplopoly board game out of his pants.

"Ooh! Ooh! Let me play!" says Trey immaturely.

"Drop the man-purse." says Arthur.

"Satchel." argues Trey.

"Wow, what idiots." says Meg.

"I know, that game isn't even fun!" says Octavia.

"Anyways, where do you think the treasure is?" asks Meg.

"I don't know, we don't have the map, because GARY--" begins Chrissy.

"Stop, Chrissy, you're making me feel guilty." says Gary.

"That's sorta the point." says Chrissy.

Meanwhile, the Terrible Tikis are in the water.

Julia is thrashing about. "Where's the treasure?" she screams.

"I DUNNO!" screams Nic.

A shark comes up behind Julia.

"WATCH OUT!" screams Nic.

"YOU KNOW, I CAN HEAR YOU. YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE CAPITAL LETTERS." says Julia.

The shark tries to bite Julia.

Julia punches the shark in the face. "Aargh! Take that!" she screams.

Nic is digging in the sand for the treasure.

"I think I see it!" says Nic, and digs up a red object.

"Uh, I don't think treasure chests are red." says Julia.

Julia is right. The thing Nic digs up is actually a small octopus.

"Watch out, dawg!" says Devin.

The octopus squirts Nic in the face with ink.

"Just my luck." says Nic. He slowly swims away.

"Hey, wha' could be dis?" asks Devin. He digs something brown out of the sand. "OH MY LAWD!" he screams.

"What?" says Julia. "Did you find the treasure?"

"Yeah, G's! Th' treasure! We's finally won, homes!" says Devin.

"Aw man, it's heavy." says Julia, trying to pick up the treasure. "Who is strong enough?"

"Moi." says Nic.

"Nah, let's go wit' me, brotha." says Devin. He picks up the chest and hauls it up to the surface.

Chris is waiting for the Tikis. "I knew you'd eventually pull it off."

The Tikis cheer, and group hug.

"Now, we just have to wait for the other team, who's already behind." says Chris.

The scene changes to Over Nine Thousand.

"Do you have tight glutes?" asks Arthur.

"You know, my knife did not disappear." says Chrissy.

Arthur walks over to Octavia.

"Do you have tight glutes, Octavia?" asks Arthur.

"I don't know, do you?" asks Octavia.

"Nah. They're sorta loose. It corresponds with my loose peanuts, y' know what I'm saying?" says Arthur.

"Hey. Where's Meggie?" asks Gary.

Meg sprints back to her team.

"The Tikis won." she says breathlessly.

Over Nine Thousand begins to grumble.

"I know who we're voting out." says Chrissy. She looks at Arthur.

"Uh-oh." says Arthur.

The Terrible Tikis are enjoying the winners cabin.

"I love this hot tub." says Julia, still in her bathing suit.

"I love dis gold plated toilet." says Devin.

"I love this mirror that provides a fantastical view of the ol' buff ab belly." says Nic.

"I'm glad we don't have to vote someone out tonight." says Julia.

"But knowin' us, we's prob'ly gonna lose t'morrow, dawgs." says Devin.

Nic says in the confessional, "The prizes were horrid. We got a bag of cheese puffs, which Devin ate, a comb, and a Nebraska Shore 'Best Of' DVD."

Meanwhile, the Over Nine Thousand cabin is deciding who to send home.

Chrissy says in the confessional, "Wow. I haven't had to vote anyone out forever. I think I forget. Well, anyways, I vote Fart-hur. Tight glutes? Ugh."

Octavia says in the confessional, "I really love everyone on our team. I am also very good at predicting who will be sent home. Tonight, I think that Arthur will be sent home due to his annoyance."

Trey says in the confessional, "Everyone is a cool cat on this team."

Team Over Nine Thousand reports to elimination.

"Wassup, Over Nine Thousands? You guys just lost your winning streak. Sad stuff. Anyways, let's get to it. The first marshmallow goes to Meg." says Chris.

Meg gets her marshmallow. "Thank you." she says.

"Gary and Trey are safe, as well." says Chris.

Gary and Trey get their rewards for the night. Gary grins at Meg, who rolls her eyes.

"Chrissy." says Chris.

Chrissy emotionlessly gets her marshmallow.

"Helga, too." says Chris.

"Oh my god, thank you." says Helga.

"Actually, someone did vote for you tonight, though." says Chris.

"Oops, I gotta go pee." says Meg anxiously, and runs back to the cabin.

"All right. The last marshmallow goes to Arthur or Octavia. It goes to..." says Chris.

"Arthur." says Chris.

"Merci." says Arthur, and gets his marshmallow.

"Who on this team voted for me?" asks Octavia.

"Oh no!" says Trey.

"Aw, Trey." says Octavia. "Be strong, cupcake. I have faith that you can win this."

"Cupcake?" asks Trey skeptically. "I mean, I'll miss you too... I guess."

"Smell ya later." says Helga.

"Aw, can it, Helga." says Meg. "See ya, Octy."

Octavia hugs everyone on her team. When she gets to Helga and Arthur, she swiftly boards the Raft of Losers and paddles away.

"Whoa." says Chris. "Who on Earth votes for Octavia? Anyways, we're outta time. Stay tuned for more dramatic fun right here on Total... Drama... Tiki Jungle!"

Chapter 9- Survivor: Tiki Jungle

"Last time on Total Drama: Tiki Jungle..." begins Chris, "We had a fun little treasure hunt! Arthur was being ridiculously annoying, as usual. Some highlights were: singing about walking, asking others about their tight glutes, and teasing Trey about his man purse-- I mean, satchel. Anyways, the Terrible Tikis actually won this time! Poor old Over Nine Thousand voted out Octavia. It is still a mystery who did that, besides Arthur and Helga! Will we find out the culprit? Will the Tikis win again? Find out today!"

The Terrible Tikis are in the winners cabin. Nic is being rowdy.

"It's Friday, Friday! Gotta--" sings Nic.

"Dude, that song has been featured on numerous other shows already. Think of somethin' else." groans Julia.

"What song would you like, Abby?" asks Nic.

Nic moves his belly to the shape of a mouth. "Well, Nicky." says Nic, pretending to be his stomach. "I think you should keep singing that song."

"But it ain't even Friday, dawg!" says Devin.

"Yeah, whatevs." says Julia. "Anyways, how nice is this cabin?"

"Very." says Nic.

"So, why do ya think Octavia was... You know, eliminated?" shudders Julia.

"I think the votes were rigged." says Nic.

"But who be doin' such a terr'ble thang, dawgs?" asks Devin.

"There's only one way to find out." says Julia. She tiptoes to the Over Nine Thousand cabin, and opens the door. The cabin is pitch-black.

"ARTHUR!" she screams.

Arthur wakes up, groggily. "Whaaaat was that? And why is a dumb Tiki in our caaaaabin?" he asks.

"Did you rig the votes?" asks Julia, pointing a stick to Arthur's throat.

Arthur snaps the stick. "Nope." he says.

"You got lucky. But I'll be watching you, punk." says Julia suspiciously.

Julia leaves the cabin.

After she leaves, Gary wakes up.

"What was that about?" he asks.

"I think Julia was mad about ol' Octy bein' eliminated." says Meg. "Can't say I blame her."

"I do." says Helga, who is reading "Mary Lotter and the Heavenly Hollows".

"All right, that book is good, so I won't get mad at you this time." says Gary.

"Who do you think voted for Octavia?" asks Trey.

"Aw, shut up." says Helga.

Trey looks at Helga strangely.

Helga says in the confessional, "I hate Trey. The dude is so ridiculously shady, it's not even funny. I think he's secretly some mastermind and excellent strategist. All I know is that he's going home tonight. That is, if I can get the others to vote with me."

Chrissy is twiddling her thumbs.

"Who do you guys think is the hottest guy singer?" she asks.

"Dustin Nutria, for sure." says Meg.

"Hey. Where's Gary?" asks Arthur.

Gary is in the confessional. "DUSTIN NUTRIA? That guy sings like a dying horse! If I wanna get Meg, I have to exercise my singing voice." He begins to sing. "Bay-beee, bay-beee, bay-beee, ohhhh!" He then stops. "I give up."

"I am a guy, so I do not find other guys hoooot." says Arthur.

"Well, that's sorta obvious." says Chrissy.

"Attention, all campers." Chris says over the loudspeaker. "It is time for the next challenge!"

"But it's midnight." groans Gary.

"Too bad!" says Chris.

Chris meets the contestants deep in the forest.

"Why does the challenge have to be at night?" asks Trey.

"This challenge is based on one of the most iconic TDI challenges. In fact, it's an exact replica of it!" says Chris.

"Oooh, is it the phobia one?" asks Nic.

"Nope." says Chris.

"The boot camp?" asks Chrissy.

"Non." says Chris.

"Is it th' muddy water-skiin', dawg?" asks Devin.

"Eww, no." says Chris.

"Well then, what is it?" asks Gary hopelessly.

"The camping challenge!" says Chris.

"Dude, that one is not iconic. In fact, I can't even remember who got voted out in that one." says Arthur.

"I think it was Sadie." says Meg.

"Katie, you idiot." says Helga, still reading.

"Or was it Tyler?" asks Trey.

"Anyways..." says Chris angrily.

"Guys, it was Eva. Remember, she got mad when Heather stole her MP3 player?" asks Julia.

"That was in the Awake-a-thon one." argues Nic.

"ANYWAYS..." screams Chris.

Everyone is quiet.

"That's better." grins Chris. "Now, onto the challenge. You guys will be forced to sleep in the woods tonight. Then, at 8:00 sharp, in the morning, you guys will come back. First team to come back wins invincibility, blah, blah. Your tents are not provided."

Everyone grumbles.

"Build 'em outta wood or something." says Chris.

"A'ight." says Gary. "Let's go, team. We can't lose this again."

"Oh, and watch out for dire wolves!" says Chris.

"Dire what?" asks Meg suspiciously.

"Prehistoric wolves. Native to Tiki Island. They eat flesh and stuff. Now, see ya!" says Chris nonchalantly.

Devin looks paranoid.

"I be a bit scared o' th' dire-wolves, yo." he says.

"Ree-lax." says Julia. "He's probably kiddin'."

A large shape moves through the trees,

"Nope, he wasn't kidding." says Nic. "Now, do any of you guys have tents?"

"I's got a bunch o' pants, yo." says Devin. "We could drape 'em over some sticks."

"Actually, that's not a bad idea." says Julia.

The Terrible Tikis make a fort out of Devin's pants.

"Great, now let's go to bed." says Julia.

Devin takes out a can of beer.

"Hey, aren't you a little too young to be drinkin' beer?" asks Nic.

"No. No I isn't." says Devin.

He pops some beer into his mouth.

"Underage drinking is never right." says Nic.

"I could report you to Chris." says Julia.

"Yeah, and then I's gon' vote ya out, dawg." says Devin.

Meanwhile, the Over Nine Thousands are walking.

"I am not gonna sleep in sticks." says Helga.

"All right, what are we gonna sleep on? The ground?" asks Chrissy.

"Sure." says Gary. He takes out a sleeping bag and gets in.

"Who wants to massage my bunions?" asks Arthur.

Chrissy backs away.

"My morbidly obeeeese bunions..." says Arthur.

Everyone else practically flees.

"Or you could massage my loose peanuts." says Arthur.

"Shut up." says Trey.

"Hey guys, wanna hear a joke?" asks Arthur.

"Sure, I love jokes!" says Meg.

"Pete and Repeat sat on a wall. Pete fell off. Who was left?" asks Arthur.

"Repeat." says Gary.

"Pete and Repeat sat on a wall. Pete fell off. Who was left?" says Arthur.

"Repeat." says Meg.

"Pete and Repeat sat on a wall. Pete fell off. Who was left?" says Arthur again.

"Dude, that's not funny." says Trey.

"WHO WAS LEFT?" asks Arthur.

"Repeat." says Trey anxiously.

"Pete and Repeat sat on a wall. Pete fell off. Who was left?" says Arthur.

Chrissy takes out a roll of duct tape and puts it on Arthur's mouth.

"Pwwww awnd Wwrwwt schmrt wn w wwll. Pwwww weww--" asks Arthur.

Chrissy punches him in the gut.

Meanwhile, the Terrible Tikis are in their tent.

"Hey, what's that scratchin' at the door?" asks Julia.

"Yo' momma." says Devin.

"Ha ha, so funny." says Julia.

"Uh, guys, I don't think it's your momma." says Nic.

"What is it?" says Julia.

"Remember what Chris said about... Dire wolves?" asks Nic anxiously.

"Yeah. Lemme guess, there's one?" asks Julia.

"Yep." says Nic. He vomits in Devin's backpack.

"'Ey, dawg, there was gum in dere!" says Devin.

The Tikis get into their sleeping bags and hop out of the tent. They see the dire wolf, which is gray with green leaves and twigs covering it.

"AAAAAUGH!" screams Devin.

The dire wolf growls.

"What do we do with the tent?" asks Julia.

"Here. I am buff. I can move it." says Nic. He tries to push it, but gets a splinter.

"AAAAAUGH!" screams Nic.

Julia walks up to the dire wolf.

"Hey, you aren't scary." she says.

The dire wolf roars.

"AAAAAUGH!" screams Julia.

Meanwhile, the Over Nine Thousands are being hyper.

"Double, double, this, this, double, double, that, that. Double this, double that, double double this, that." Chrissy and Meg are playing a hand game.

"Shut up, guys." says Helga.

"Way to be a party pooper." says Chrissy.

Gary is burrowed in his sleeping bag.

"Hey, I'm gonna play a prank on Trey." says Arthur, poking Gary.

"What could it be?" asks Gary.

"All right, so right now, he's planning on giving himself a 'shower' by dumping buckets of water on his head. He had to run an errand, so he's not here right now. Watch what I do to his buckets." says Arthur.

"This can't be good..." says Gary warily.

Arthur pees in Trey's buckets.

"Ugh, that's so gross, but hilarious at the same time." says Gary.

The two boys fist-bump.

Trey comes back from his 'errand'.

"Watch this, ladies." says Trey. He dumps the buckets on his head.

Gary and Arthur laugh hysterically.

"Haw, haw, haw." says Arthur.

"What's so funny?" asks Trey. His hair is glowing now.

"Do you know what I did to those buckets?" asks Arthur.

Trey runs away screaming.

"You're so friggin' nasty, Arthur." says Chrissy. She takes off her shirt, wearing only a bra.

"Hehehehehe." says Arthur.

"If you stare at my chest, I am going to kill you." says Chrissy.

Gary is grumbling in his sleeping bag.

"What's wrong, Gar?" asks Meg.

"Schmrt." says Gary.

Arthur and Chrissy are fighting, Trey is screaming, and Helga is scolding her team.

"GUYS, SHUT UP! I'M TRYIN' TO SLEEP!" screams Gary.

Everyone stares at Gary.

Gary burrows even deeper into his sleeping bag, and starts throwing a tantrum.

Meg says in the confessional, "Wow, everyone is acting weird today. Maybe it's because we lost last time."

The Terrible Tikis are still running from the dire wolf. They eventually run back to the campsite.

"Hey, Tikis." says Chris. "You just won again."

"YES!" screams Nic.

"Hopefully our winning streak will continue next time." says Julia.

"Actually, next time is the merge." says Chris.

"Aww, noodles." says Devin.

"But you guys have invincibility, and the cool cabin, again." says Chris. "See ya."

Team Over Nine Thousand is trudging along.

"We lost again." says Gary.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious." says Helga.

The team sees Chris.

"Hey, gang, ready to vote out another player?" asks Chris.

"Sure thing." says Arthur.

Arthur says in the confessional, "Bye, Helga. You're the only one more annoying than me and my loose peanuts. But I must say, I think Trey is also sorta poopy. I mean, he didn't show any emotion this challenge, and his almost-girlfriend was just voted out."

Helga says in the confessional, while reading, "Meg."

Chris meets the team at the elimination ceremony.

"Hello, helloooooo..." he says. "Tonight, the first marshmallow goes to Gary."

Gary gets his marshmallow.

"Chrissy is safe, as well." says Chris.

Chrissy gets her marshmallow, then grumbles.

"Arthur, and Helga." says Chris.

Arthur waddles up to get his marshmallow, but is bumped into by Helga.

"Meg, and Trey. The last marshmallow goes to..." says Chris.

"Trey." says Chris.

"Me? What the crap, guys?" asks Meg.

"I didn't vote for her." says Chrissy. "I think Helga was the only one who did."

Gary is sobbing.

"I am so sorry, Meggie..." he says between tears.

"Aw, Gary. I'll miss all of you guys." says Meg. She hugs Gary.

Gary grins happily, and holds on to Meg for a long time.

"Let go." says Meg.

Gary mumbles something.

"All right, well, see ya." says Meg.

"Nice knowing ya." says Chrissy.

Meg boards the Raft of Losers, and floats away.

"All right, then." says Chris. "Who is the mystery voter? How will the kids react to the merge tomorrow? And, will Gary become an emotional wreck now that Meg is gone? Find out next time!"

Chapter 10- Caught in a Dysfunctional Romance

"Last time on Total Drama: Tiki Jungle..." begins Chris, "The remaining nine campers had a little sleepover deep in the Tiki Island woods. The Terrible Tikis had a little run in with some dire wolves, and on the Over Nine Thousand team, a few were mad about Octavia's recent elimination. Although, funny thing is, Trey didn't seem to care! Messed-up kid. Oh yeah, and Meg was eliminated. Find out what'll happen today for out merged contestants right here on Total Drama: Tiki Jungle!"

"So, I guess this is the last time we'll all be together." says Chrissy.

"Thank god." says Helga.

Chrissy flashes Helga an evil stare.

"I looooved this team. So many babes on it, man." says Arthur.

Chrissy rolls her eyes.

"Well, me, Art, and ol' Trey are all gonna share a cabin." says Gary.

"We'll be like bro-migos!" says Arthur.

Arthur and Gary put their arms around Trey.

"Use some deodorant, please." says Trey.

"Nah, I'm good." says Arthur.

Meanwhile, the Tikis are cheering.

"Finally, no more failure of a team." says Julia.

"I don' know if we was able t' call ourselves a team no more, dawg." says Devin.

"Yes. That is correct." says Nic.

"Whatcha readin'?" asks Julia.

"How To Learn Spanish In 20 Minutes." says Nic.

Julia slaps her forehead.

Chris walks into the cabin.

"All right, everyone out of this cabin." says Chris.

"Why?" asks Julia.

"You'll see." says Chris.

The remaining eight contestants walk out of the cabins. Chef drives a crane with a wrecking ball over to the cabins, then demolishes them.

"WHY?" screams Arthur.

"We want the new cabins to look exactly the same, to be fair." says Chris.

Chris leads the contestants over to another clearing, with two moderately nice-looking cabins.

"The left one is for boys, the right one is for girls. The person who wins each challenge will get to spend the night in a golden room, reminiscent of the winners cabin for past challenges. They can also choose one person to spend the night in the room with them, but only if they want." says Chris.

"Mine." says Arthur.

"Now go move your stuff into the new cabins!" says Chris.

Nic struts into the boys cabin.

"Hola, Arturo y amigos." says Nic.

"Oh, lord." says Arthur.

"Huh?" asks Nic.

"I do not like being called Arturo. That is the name of my drunken uncle." says Arthur.

"Does he have loose peanuts?" asks Gary.

"Yep. Kinda runs in the family." says Arthur.

"Yo, yo, homes! Dis gangsta is in th' house!" screams Devin, who swaggers into the cabin. "Lemme take dis bed, dawgs."

"Um, that's Trey's bed." says Gary.

"So?" asks Devin. He plops his stuff onto the bed.

Trey walks out of the bathroom.

"Hey, that's my bunk." says Trey.

"What'cha gon' do 'bout it, foo'?" asks Devin.

Trey groans.

Trey says in the confessional, "Ugh, I've had it with the Four Stooges. Morbid obesity, pretending to be villainous, over nine thousand, and sagging? UGH!"

"Anyways, who do ya think is the mystery voter?" asks Devin.

"I don't know, or care." says Gary.

"Yeah, I think it is Helga. She has something against all of us." says Trey.

Nic scoffs.

"I wish I were the mystery voter. That guy is wily." says Nic.

"How do we know you aren't?" asks Trey.

"Dude, just look at Nic." says Arthur.

Nic is rubbing lint out of his belly button.

"Yeah, it's not him." says Gary.

Meanwhile, Julia enters the girls cabin.

"Hey, sisters." says Julia.

'Yo." says Chrissy.

Helga is reading out of the dictionary.

"Really?" asks Chrissy skeptically.

"Yeah, I didn't pack enough books, evidently." says Helga.

"Whatevs," says Julia. "So, what sick challenge do you think Chris is gonna pull on us today?"

"Marriage!" says Chris, who bursts into the cabin.

"What now?" asks Chrissy.

"Remember Niagara Brawls?" asks Chris.

"I wish I didn't." says Helga.

"Head to the dock." says Chris.

Chris meets the campers at the dock.

"Today's challenge is three parts. First, you must pick a bride out of a hat, then, you must travel with them up the volcano, and lastly, you must find the treasure. First team to find the gold chains wins invincibility. Yeah, both of them." says Chris.

'Wait a sec, what do you mean by 'pick a bride out of a hat'?" asks Chrissy.

Chef comes in with an enormous hat, and the crane he used to destroy the cabins, now with the wrecking ball detached.

"Climb into the hat, ladies." says Chef.

"Wait, there's five boys and only three girls." says Trey.

"Devin, you too." says Chris.

Devin grumbles something.

The girls and Devin get into dresses, and jump into the hat.

"Trey, you can pick first." says Chris.

Trey walks into the cockpit of the crane, and directs the handle until he picks Devin up.

"Aw, man, Chris, can I change?" asks Trey.

"Nope." says Chris happily.

"Aw, noodles, dawg." says Devin.

"Think of this like a bromance." says Trey, and the two head up the volcano.

"Gary, you're next." says Chris.

Gary picks Helga from the hat.

"Something tells me this'll go horribly wrong." says Gary,

Helga rolls her eyes.

"Wait, what did you mean by find the treasure in the volcano? Isn't that, like, dangerous?" asks Gary.

"Ol' Bessie must be appeased." says Chris.

Gary and Helga stomp away.

"Arthur, you're next." says Chris.

Julia crawls out of the hat.

"You know, I know he's gonna pick me, so we might as well just go." says Julia.

"Exactly, see ya." says Chris.

"Then, that means, Nic, you get Chrissy." says Chris.

"Darn." says Chrissy.

"YE-E-E-P!" screams Nic.

Nic holds tightly onto Chrissy.

"Five, four, three, two..." begins Chrissy.

Nic lets go of Chrissy.

"All right, begin!" says Chris.

Arthur and Julia are walking up the volcano.

"Ya know, we could be th' final two." says Julia.

"Whateveeeer..." says Arthur.

"I still hate you, though." says Julia.

"Will you carry me?" asks Arthur.

Julia begins to walk a little faster.

"Please?" asks Arthur.

"Fine, we'll take shifts." says Julia. "When five minutes it up, you have to carry me." says Julia.

Julia picks up Arthur, and struggles thanks to his weight.

"I'm morbidly obeeeese!" shouts Arthur.

"I know!" says Julia.

Meanwhile, Nic and Chrissy get to a river of lava with small stones for paths.

"Hee hee hee." Nic is looking at Chrissy's chest.

"Be quiet, puny." says Chrissy.

"How are we supposed to cross?" asks Nic.

"I don't want to do this, but I have to." says Chrissy.

Chrissy picks up Nic.

Nic rubs against Chrissy.

"I will drop you, you know." says Chrissy.

Nic stops.

"So, do you think I am evil? Do you like Abby?" asks Nic.

"No." says Chrissy.

"Schmrt." says Nic sadly.

Chrissy walks slowly across the stepping stones.

One of the stones begins to wobble.

"Uh-oh." says Nic.

Arthur and Julia get to the stones.

"Throw me." says Julia.

"A'ight." says Arthur.

Arthur throws Julia to the other side. She lands face-first in dirt, but is not burned.

"Now, you come." says Julia.

Arthur steps on the wobbly stones, and begins to wet his pants.

"BE A FRIGGIN' MAN!" screams Julia.

"I am not a man, I am a boy. I do not have hair in some places ye--" begins Arthur.

"EEEEUCK!" screams Julia. She runs away.

Meanwhile, Gary and Helga are trying to cross a rope bridge.

"Are those sharks?" asks Gary.

"Yeah, and you're the bait." says Helga.

Gary looks timid.

"Just kiddin'." says Helga.

"You better be." says Gary.

"So, do ya still like Meg?" asks Helga.

"So, do ya still like books?" asks Gary.

"Yes." says Helga.

"Yup." says Gary.

"Hey, there's Devin and Trey." says Helga.

Helga throws a rock at Devin, who loses balance.

"Oh, no, dawg, I's slippin'!" says Devin.

Trey picks him up. "There, there." he says.

Julia and Arthur near the prize.

"There it is! Now you go get it." says Julia.

Arthur gets the prize. While he is bending over, he splits his pants.

"Oopsy." says Arthur. He turns red, then picks up the prize.

"Good job." says Julia.

"I've heard that a lot." says Arthur.

Chris comes up to them. "You just won, guys! Do you want to share the fancy room?" asks Chris.

"No." say Arthur and Julia simultaneously.

The boys are chilling in their cabin.

"Wearin' dat dress traumatized me, yo." says Devin.

"It's okay." says Gary.

"I's gonna go use th' facilities, yo." says Devin.

Devin walks into the confessional. He hears someone coming, so he hides beneath the sink to eavesdrop.

Trey walks into the confessional, and says, "I think this is a pretty good time to reveal this, since nobody can hear. Yes, I was the mystery voter. Firstly, I never liked Octavia at all. It was all an act. I mean, who could like that dumb potato? I eliminated her just so she would stay away from me. I got Arthur and Helga to vote with me, since they pretty much hate everyone. They aren't evil, they are just easy to convince, those idiots. Next, I realized that everyone liked Gary. He was powerful, so I voted out Meg. Again, thanks to Art and Helga. I knew Gary would be heartbroken, and that's exactly what I needed. Now, I know what you're probably thinking. Why would the cool guy be the mystery voter? I was evil the whole time. I don't know how to surf, and this is all fake tan. My hair isn't even like this normally, it's usually a frizzy afro. Heck, I don't even live in California! Just boring old Maine. But, I thought that having a cool persona would make me more popular, and less suspected to be the evil one. Well, whatever. I've got this game in the bag."

Trey walks out of the confessional.

Devin comes out from under the sink. "Oh, my, lawd." he says, white as a sheet. "Now, I's jus' gon' pretend that didn't happen, and I's gon' use th' facilities."

Once Devin is done, he walks out of the confessional.

"Wait, why were you in there?" asks Trey angrily.

"I was peein'." says Devin.

Trey groans angrily.

Chris is at the elimination ceremony.

"Arthur and Julia win invincibility, so they get the first two marshmallows." says Chris.

Arthur and Julia get their prizes.

"And, Trey." says Chris.

Trey laughs evilly. Everyone stares, and he says, "Whoops, just a minor cough."

"Chrissy and Gary are safe, too." says Chris.

Gary and Chrissy get their marshmallows.

"Nic." says Chris.

Nic dances up to Chris, and gets his marshmallow.

"Ladies and boys, the final marshmallow goes to..."

"Helga." says Chris.

"Who voted fo' me, dawgs?" asks Devin sadly.

"Who knows?" asks Trey.

"Ya scum-sack, dude! You's such an idiot, foo'! An' I thought I trusted ya, wit' th' weddin' challenge, yo. Everyone, Trey here be--" begins Devin.

Trey "accidentally" pushes Devin onto the Raft of Losers.

"Oops." says Trey.

"Bye, Devin!" says Gary.

Everyone waves goodbye to Devin.

"Trey ain't wha' he seems, dawgs! Gary, you's gon' win! I's gotta support a Brotha, dawg!" says Devin as he slowly drifts away into the sunset.

"Whoooo-hoo-hoo." says Chris. "Who will be the next target of our villain? Find out next time on Total... Drama... Tiki Jungle!"

Elimination Table

Placing	Contestant	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10
TBA	Arthur	LOW	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	LOW	IN	WIN
TBA	Chrissy	IN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	IN	IN	IN
TBA	Gary	IN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	IN	IN	IN
TBA	Helga	IN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	IN	IN	LOW
TBA	Julia	WIN	IN	IN	IN	IN	IN	WIN	WIN	WIN
TBA	Nic	WIN	LOW	LOW	LOW	IN	IN	WIN	WIN	IN
TBA	Trey	IN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	IN	LOW	IN
8th	Devin	WIN	IN	IN	IN	IN	LOW	WIN	WIN	OUT
9th	Meg	IN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	IN	OUT
10th	Octavia	IN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	WIN	OUT
11th	Carson	WIN	IN	IN	IN	LOW	OUT
12th	Elena	WIN	IN	IN	IN	OUT
13th	Sharissa	WIN	IN	IN	OUT
14th	Alex	WIN	IN	OUT
15th	Amanda	IN	OUT
16th	Manty	OUT

^{Thanks to MrD and TDISF for helping with colors.}

Trivia

This section contains spoilers. Read at your own risk.

Characters

• Carson, Sharissa, Amanda, Meg, Gary, Devin, Helga, and eventually Alex all return for this story.
• Julia was originally going to have brown hair.
• Arthur wasn't going to be as fat originally.
• Trey was originally going to be called "Sunglasses".
• Manty was originally named Danny, and had a very different look. He then was changed to Manty, but had another new look.
• Nic was originally not going to idolize Alejandro, but bad guys in general.
• Octavia was originally going to be named Blair, but that was changed for obvious reasons.
• Elena was originally going to be named Kendall, but that was changed for obvious reasons.
• Elena, Arthur, Julia, Manty and Chrissy are all based off of real people.

Chapter 1

• The chapter title is based off of the Robert Frost poem, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.
• Tiki Jungle is a made up location.
• The contestants arrive in reverse elimination order.
• Alex does not appear at all in this chapter. This is resolved in the next chapter.
• Carson, Gary and Devin remember the "Bling Brothas" alliance from last season, and refer to each other as "Brotha" a lot.
• "Mockingbird" is an obvious parody of Mockingjay.
• "Dragon Ball X: The Manga: Volume 31" is an obvious parody of Dragon Ball Z manga.
• The author finds it extremely hard to write for Octavia.
• Julia's shirt is a reference to LOLcats.
• Julia and Arthur's conflict is based off of something the author's friend told him about.
• Julia's rant was the author's favorite part of the chapter.
• Nic tries to do various things Alejandro did over the course of World Tour, like ripping off his shirt, tying his hair with his legs, and making a dramatic entrance, but fails.
• Almost everything Manty said, and his shoes, were inspired by some people the author knows.
• Elena is almost a direct copy of someone the author knows, especially her fondness of hugging.
• Nic saying "I'm not cute. I'm HOT!" is based on something Jake said in Adventure Time.

Chapter 2

• The title is a bad pun on Hide and Seek.
• Alex debuts in this episode, as a Tiki God. The author thought of this around a minute after he decided Alex would be competing.
• The author finds it especially humorous that the volcano is named "ol' Bessie."
• Arthur weighs 100 more pounds than Julia.
• Manty repeatedly trying to "make his moves" on Elena came from something the author witnessed in real life.
• The author chose "Terrible Tikis" just because of the alliteration. He chose "Over Nine Thousand" because it is Gary's catchphrase.
• There was originally three teams, the two current ones plus "The Epic Explorers." Carson would have been the leader of that team.
• Nebraska Shore is an obvious parody of Jersey Shore. This is especially funny when you realize that Nebraska is completely landlocked.
• The author dislikes Jersey Shore, and likes the characters Chrissy and Meg, so he made them hate that show.
• Going back to marshmallows was only because the author ran out of ideas.
• "The 176 Clues" is an obvious parody on the book series, The 39 Clues.
• The author thought Manty was a funny character, but realized that it was time for him to go. Helga would have also been eliminated, but the author thought she needed more development.

Chapter 3

• The title is a pun on White Water Rafting, and ranting, which Julia does in this episode.
• Arthur's birthday is revealed in this chapter during Julia's rant, it is January 2nd, 1995.
• "Midnight" is an obvious parody of Twilight.
• The author wanted Carson and Amanda to be together ever since he invented them.
• Again, Julia's rant was the author's favorite part to write about in this chapter.
• Octavia and Trey barely were in this chapter. The author simply forgot to put them in, and he was in a rush.

Chapter 4

• The title is based off of lyrics from the song, "Dynamite".
• Julia saying "Shiitake mushrooms" is based off of what people said when the author was in elementary school.
• "The Silver GPS" is a parody of The Golden Compass.
• Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails, which were a running joke throughout World Tour, appeared in this chapter.
• Chrissy saying "No duh, Sherlock." is also said a lot at the author's school.
• Alex was eliminated simply because the author had no more ideas for him.
• Octavia and Trey's awkward conversation happens a lot at the author's school.

Chapter 5

• The title is based off of the game, Capture the Flag, which is also the challenge.
• "Very Ugly Creatures" is a parody of the book Beautiful Creatures.
• This chapter features the most swears, indicated by @#$%!. There were six swears in this chapter.
• Maplopoly is an obvious parody of Monopoly.
• Nic has been in the bottom two in every elimination ceremony he's attended so far.
• Sharissa was eliminated because she got second place last season, and the author was running out of ideas for her.
• Sharissa and Alex most likely start a relationship after this chapter.

Chapter 6

• The title is based on drum and bass, a style of music.
• Maplopoly, the parody of Monopoly, is mentioned again in this chapter.
• "The Magazine Stealer" is an obvious parody of The Book Thief.
• The songs Devin sings are "Replay" by Iyaz, "Just The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars, "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem, and "Apple Bottom Jeans" by T-Pain.
• "Gary, Indiana" is from the play, The Music Man.
• Hannah, Meg's twin sister, is first mentioned in this chapter.
• The shag, who chases balls out of the brambles in soccer and baseball, comes from Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
• Nic names his stomach "Abby", because it sounds like abs, and it was the name of a girl who the author had a crush on at the time.
• Elena was eliminated because the author had a spat with the person she was based on.

Chapter 7

• The title is based on War and Peace, a novel.
• "The King of the Jewelry" is an obvious parody of the Lord of the Rings series.
• Hannah is mentioned again in this chapter.
• What Chris calls the Tikis is a reference to the children's book, "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day."
• Carson was eliminated because the author had no more ideas for him.

Chapter 8

• The title is based on National Treasure, a movie.
• This is the only chapter where Helg does not read a book.
• Gary's full name, Garrison Ford, is based on the actor Harrison Ford, famous for playing Indiana Jones and Han Solo.
• Arthur making fun of Trey's last name was the author's favorite part of the chapter.
• "Pogeyman Gray" is an obvious parody of Pokemon.
• There is no reason to the random French spoken throughout the chapter.
• Chris saying "B-U-S-T-E-D, you are busted." is a reference to the song from Phineas and Ferb, "Busted."
• Julia breaks the fourth wall in this chapter.
• This chapter marks the first strike of the mystery voter.

Chapter 9

• The title is based on the Survivor series.
• Nic sings "Friday", a viral hit, but also an extremely horrible song.
• "Mary Lotter and the Heavenly Hollows" is a parody of Harry Potter. Thanks to Jessica for coming up with the name.
• Dustin Nutria is a parody of Justin Bieber.
• Dire wolves were once real animals, but are currently extinct.
• Devin's underage drinking was the author's favorite part of the chapter.
• The "Pete and Repeat" joke is commonly told by the author.
• This chapter marks the second strike of the mystery voter.

Chapter 10

• The title is based on Lady Gaga's song, "Bad Romance."
• This is the first chapter of the merge.
• "Arturo" is Spanish for Arthur.
• The "Four Stooges" is a parody of the Three Stooges, an old comedy series that the author finds hilarious.
• Helga reads out of the dictionary in this chapter. This is the first time she does not read a parody of an actual book.
• Trey reveals his true evilness in this chapter, and is the mystery voter.
• Devin was a fan favorite, but had to be voted off because the author wanted to give the new characters more screen time.