Total Drama Jamaica is the first season in Jaxswim's canon. 16 contestants will be marooned on the island of Jamaica where they must learn to survive and cope with each other. Every few days, they will be forced to vote somebody off the island. It is the ultimate test of strength and strategy. Who will come out on top and win the million-dollar prize? Who will be betrayed? Who will betray? Find out right here, right now, on Total Drama Jamaica!
Episode One: This Is Just Like The Set Of FOUND
Standing tall on an island paradise, Chris McLean, sporting his now-classic navy blue polo, begins his intro. "Welcome to Total Drama Jamaica! It looks like the perfect paradise, complete with beautiful blue waters and white sand beaches... heh heh, not. When you throw 16 crazy contestants of all shapes, sizes, personalities, and ages into a world of sleep deprivation, scorching heat, and no escape, prepare for a lot of fun. And I mean a lot. You won't want to miss a minute of the hottest reality show on TV, starting right here, right now, on Total... Drama... Jamaica!"
"Our contestants will be arriving soon. In the meantime, can I please get some hair & makeup in here? This humidity is KILLING my 'do!" Chris complained while standing on a glimmering beach. Soon after, the first boat pulled up to the rickety dock Chris was standing on. A well-built African-American male stepped off the boat with a bright, gleaming smile to contrast his dark skin color.
"What's up, Chris?" he said, never losing his charming smile.
"Adonis! What's up, dude?" Chris asked in reply.
"I'm doing great, actually. So happy to be here," Adonis replied.
"So what's going on wit--" Chris began, before being interrupted.
"Say," Adonis began, "are you sure this dock can support the weight of 17 people? Accounting for the mass of both men and women and varying height sizes, I don't think the surface area corresponds to the support structure in such a way that we'll be able to fit everyone without breaking the dock."
"I--," Chris started, "Wha-- What?"
"It's actually pretty simple if you--"
"Just.. go stand on the beach. We won't be staying on the dock anyway," Chris answered, still mystified. "Thankfully, our next contestant is on their way!"
Another boat pulled up to the dock. A shorter, teenaged American with brown hair stepped out. He had a wild look in his eye and a certain aura about him sure to make people uncomfortable. He idly pulled out a lighter from his pocket and began looking at the dock and getting a demonic smile on his face.
"Whoa, whoa, Daniel!" Chris panicked, running up and grabbing the lighter out of his hand. "Easy there."
"It won't hurt," Daniel soothed. "Just watch the little dock go up in flames. It'll be nice, pretty... yes, the flames will be oh so pretty."
"Why don't you go stand next to Adonis? That should be enough of an introduction for you," Chris scolded. Daniel complied, but not before pickpocketing his lighter back from Chris. The next boat pulled up and a blonde strutted out. She seemed like a model, not because she was very pretty or attractive, but simply the way she carried herself. Adonis whistled from the beach.
"And... Diamond's here, everyone!" Chris announced.
"Well, this is going to be fun," Diamond sarcastically commented. "I can keep my makeup, right?" Chris began cracking up. When he regained his composure, he said,
"Yeah, no. Go stand with Adonis and Daniel." Diamond gave him a sour look and made her way to the beach. When she arrived next to the two boys, she gave a little flip of her hair and a wink at the two of them.
"Hey boys," she said with an air of flirtatiousness. Adonis gave her a wave, but seemed more interested in how the dock was still standing and Daniel was simply preoccupied with his lighter. Pouting, she blew her hair out of her eyes and crossed her arms while waiting for the next contestant.
She wasn't left waiting long, for the next boat pulled up subsequently. As the skies suddenly turned dark and stormy, Diamond looked alarmed and dramatic music began to come from the boat. A caped figure slowly stepped up from the boat, not allowing his face to be seen and producing an air of fear. With each step, the contestants got more tense, and even Daniel dropped his lighter and watched.
Suddenly killing the mood, the caped figure tripped over the edge of the boat and tumbled onto the dock. Revealing a high-pitched and ultimately non-threatening voice, as the clouds parted, he spoke, "Owwww, that hurt! Can we do this again? Darn it, the clouds were just right? Why me? Why?!"
"And this is Victor," Chris said unenthusiastically.
"Yeah, that's me," Victor said wimpily. He brushed himself off with as much dignity as he could muster and revealed that he was wearing fangs.
"So what are you, some kind of vampire?" Diamond asked, fluttering her eyelids. "Because I happen to love a certain story about vampires, and I think they're really hot."
"That's SUCH a misrepresentation of our community! For one, we don't SPARKLE in the SUNLIGHT! Do you see me shining like a bunch of diamonds? No! No you do not," Victor ranted. He would have continued, but Chris pushed him towards the beach and that was that.
A boat with a blonde, middle-aged man in a basketball jersey pulled up. He smirked at the contestants and the host, appearing cocky yet charming at the same time. "Here's Jake!" Chris introduced.
"Whassup, dude?" Jake asked, stepping off the boat and holding out his fist, to which Chris bumped.
"How's it going, man? How are the kids?" Chris asked.
"Heh, a pain in the ass," Jake replied. "Apparently I have another one on the way. My wife told me just before I came out here. I need to get that woman on birth control!"
"Amen," Chris said before directing Jake to the beach.
"Hey, when are the girls getting here?" Jake asked, recieving a not-so-subtle "Ahem" from Diamond. Jake looked at her, but shook his head in disapproval and stood with the rest of the guys.
The next boat drove up wielding a younger-looking girl with gray hair. From the moment you saw her, you couldn't put your finger on it, but something felt off about her. She was staring up at the sky with a content smile on her face and letting the wind generated from the speed of the boat whip through her irregularly-colored hair. "Hello, people of the world!" she said wistfully, gracefully jumping off the boat in a dance-like motion. She turned to the camera and grabbed it carefully. "Is this what you call a 'camera'? What does it do?"
"This is Wista," Chris introduced. "Have fun with her, guys."
"The sun is ever so hot!" she cried. Suddenly perking up, she added, "But the precious Vitamin D it provides all of us is very helpful! Wouldn't you say?"
Jake elbowed Adonis and whispered, "I think she's talking to you, dude."
"Uh, yeah. I guess. Maybe? Where're you from, anyway?" Adonis replied.
"A place far, far away," Wista stated with a dreamy smile. She leaped onto the beach and stood with the rest of the group.
Yet another boat flew over the water and pulled up to the dock. A brunette was standing on the top, waving to Chris, the group of contestants, and the camera like she was a movie star arriving to a premiere. "Hello, hi everyone!" She blew kisses to the contestants, who stood awkwardly, shifting their weight. She ran off the boat when it pulled up to the dock and planted a wet kiss on Chris' cheek.
"Errr.. Hi, Mikayla," Chris said.
"Oh my God! You're a fan?" Mikayla replied.
"I never said--" Chris began before being interrupted by Mikayla signing his forehead. After an awkward pause, he responded, saying, "...Okay. Um, this is Mikayla, in case you didn't get that from... yeah."
"Starring in Admirable Me 2, coming this fall to movie theaters near you!" Mikayla said, winking at the camera. "Also make sure to buy your bait & tackle from Johnson's Bait & Tackle, the best bait & tackle shop in America!"
"Let's not make this a habit, okay?" Chris told Mikayla. Meanwhile, an intern was scrubbing his forehead with a sponge and he looked annoyed. "Just go join the others." Mikayla ran down to the beach and smiled and waved at the other contestants. They all pretended they didn't see her and averted their eyes, but Mikayla didn't seem to notice.
The next contestant to be dropped off was a younger male with dark hair and bright eyes. He seemed nice enough at first glance, but quickly began to break this persona. "Ch- Chris?" he asked.
"That's the name," Chris said, nodding. "Know it, learn it, love it."
"Why wouldn't you do us in alphabetical order?" he asked, still relatively calm.
"Uh... because we didn't?" Chris answered. "It's not really a big deal, right?"
"WELL, IT'S A BIG DEAL TO ME!" he shouted, suddenly going ballistic. "WHY WOULDN'T YOU DO THEM IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ALPHABETICAL ORDER, CHRIS?! DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST IT?"
"Dude! Jaime! Calm down!" Chris said, looking somewhat scared. Jaime took a deep, cleansing breath.
"Okay, let's compromise. Once everyone's here, we can go back and introduce everyone again, this time IN proper order," Jaime nodded.
"...Whatever you say," Chris half-confirmed, directing Jaime towards the beach. Jaime got on the beach and lined everybody up in alphabetical order so he was standing next to Jake and Mikayla.
Mikayla learned over to him and said, "If you really like things in alphabetical order I have a movie called 'ZYX' out on the market."
Jaime, suddenly becoming furious again, screamed, "THAT'S NOT ALPHABETICAL ORDER! THAT'S REVERSE! WHY COULDN'T YOUR MOVIE BE 'ABC' OR EVEN 'XYZ'?!" Mikayla, looking scared, suddenly turned her back to him and applied make-up.
The next contestant didn't arrive the normal way on the boat like everybody else, but instead when driving a speedboat like something out of a spy movie. Adonis raised one of his eyebrows in intrigue. When the next contestant passed by the dock, he shot a grappling hook at the edge and flipped up onto it while, behind him, the speedboat crashed into a sea stack and exploded. All the while, he never turned around.
"Name's Dond," he said to Chris, wearing a thick British accent. "James Dond."
"Hey," Jake began in a mocking tone towards Victor, "don't secret agents take out vampires?"
"No!" Victor said, frustrated. "There's one thing that can kill people like me: a stake through the heart. Seriously, that's all. Sunlight in no way, shape, or form weakens or kills me and most CERTAINLY secret agents do not!"
"Whatever you say, dude," Jake said obnoxiously.
"Wait," Chris asked James, "so, have you, like, fought a bunch of baddies like in the flicks? That's totally rad, dude."
"I can't disclose that information at this time," James answered. He walked over to the other contestants and blended in with the crowd (directed by Jaime, of course).
The next boat blasted up to the dock. A tall, pale girl with long black hair and dark, leather clothing stood inside. She took in a deep breath and climbed onto the dock, revealing long laced boots. Observing everything and everyone, she approached Chris. "Hey," she said simply, with somewhat of an air of "I'm-better-than-you".
"Trish, everyone!" Chris announced. Trish sized up the cast and smirked.
"Holy crap, this is gonna be easy."
"Cocky right off the bat?" Chris asked.
"Not cocky," Trish answered, "just stating a fact. Look, you have the crazy people in one corner, the famewhores in one corner, and I'd say the one person with any shot of winning against me is Mr. Token Black right there on the end."
"Adonis," Adonis corrected. "Nice to meet you too!"
"Never said anything about that," Trish muttered, rolling her eyes. She walked down to the cast and was ushered by Jaime where to stand.
The next contestant arrived within seconds of Trish's introduction. A pretty girl with olive skin and black hair stepped off the boat with grace. Rolling luggage in hand, she approached Chris. "Hello," she said.
"With an IQ of 210 and a brain that rivals that of any human in the USA," Chris began, "here's Diana!"
"Well, there goes my plan to keep it secret," Diana laughed with a gleaming smile. "What's up, you guys?"
Chris leaned over to whisper to her, "Listen, your gimmick is that you're really, really smart, okay? Try not to talk too much unless you're saying something smart, mkay?" Diana in a random fit of rage slapped Chris as hard as she could, but realizing what she had done, suddenly became nice again and laughed it off.
"Oops, sorry!" she said, walking down to join the cast.
The next contestant bounded off the boat with a ditzy smile and a look in her eyes like there was no brain behind them. A designer purse draped over her forearm, styled blonde hair perched upon her head, and shoes that the cool girls in school would kill for, she scurried up to the dock. "Like, hi!" she exclaimed excitedly. "I'm CeCe and I'm soooo excited to meet you all! Like, what's up? How are you guys?"
"Oh, look, it's Valley-Girl-Bubblegum-(bleep)," Trish commented, sitting down on the mat where the rest of the cast was standing.
"Sorry? Like, I don't know what that means, LOL!" CeCe said.
"Need I say more?" Chris said.
"Blondes don't provide the richest... blood," Victor said, sullen. CeCe smiled dumbly and skipped down to the mat.
The next to step off the boat was significantly older than the cast thus far and spoke in a heavy Scottish accent. "Aye, y'ere look like a mighty undisciplined group of individuals," he said. "I'll whip ya inta shape."
"Introducing Sergeant McKee!" Chris announced. Mikayla quickly jumped into a salute, but realizing nobody else was doing the same, awkwardly brought her arm down.
"12 years in the Scottish navy," he said, "really does it's magic on ya. Listen 'ere, I may look like one of the older ones down 'ere, but I can outrun any o' ya, I can outfight any o' ya, an' I can definitely outlast any o' ya." Trish smirked at his little speech.
"So dude," Chris asked, "you were in the actual navy? With, like, fights and stuff?"
"Absolutely, laddie," he answered. "Once in 1981, I fought off a whole legion of ships comin' towards the motherland."
"Awesome," Chris responded.
"Aye, and awesome it was," Sergeant McKee said, joining the rest of the cast with surprising ease for his age.
The next male to step off the boat was young, attractive, and fit. He smiled and waved as he climbed out of the boat. "Hey, guys," he said.
"Ooh, I can work with this," Diamond raved, suddenly intrigued.
"God, he'd be a great co-star," Mikayla added dreamily, fanning herself.
"I'd suck his blood," Victor said, nodding of approval, causing a few strange looks to say the least.
"This is Brian!" Chris introduced.
"What's up?" he asked.
"Well these people REFUSE to stand in PROPER ORDER..." Jamie began, screaming the last two words.
"...have no respect for 'nything..." Sergeant McKee continued, glaring at the rebellious teens around him.
"...and pretty much all suck. Balls," Trish finished.
"Seems like a nice group of people," Brian joked only to get no response. "...and good-humored too." He awkwardly walked down to the beach.
"Well, we only have one contestant left and... here she comes now!" Chris announced. The boat pulled up to the dock one last time. "Melody!" Chris said, holding out his arms in a dramatic gesture to welcome her. Nobody stepped out of the boat. "Uh... Melody? You in there?" Chris asked, still to no response. After about a minute, Chris was ready to go in and find her himself, but a blonde wearing a stage-worthy dress finally stepped off the boat.
"Sorry," she said. "Had to fix my make-up."
"Okay, THIS," Chris whined, "THIS is why I hate teenagers."
"You know it's a thing to be FASHIONABLY late, right?" Melody asked, brushing past Chris in order to join the rest of the cast on the mat.
"Well," Chris began, regaining his composure. "Welcome to Jamaica!" The cast cheered loudly, scaring some of the wildlife out of the forest. "Let's just take a moment and figure out how this thing goes. You both will be stranded on the beaches of Jamaica with only a pot, a bag of rice and a machete. So basically, you're screwed!" He quickly turned to the cameraman. "Hey, you're gonna edit that out in the actual episode right? Okay."
"Wait!" CeCe asked. "So we don't have, like... bathrooms?"
"Yeah, or shelter?" Adonis asked.
"You all knew this when you signed up! Either that or you didn't read the fine print. Heh heh." He continued with his generic introduction to the game. "You will compete in TWO challenges every three days. One will be for a reward -- beans, flint, things that normal people in real life would weep for if they opened them up on Christmas. The other will be for immunity, something that you NEED in this game. This is what will keep you safe from voting off one of your own."
The cast gasped at the reveal of voting off somebody. Chris became annoyed again, saying, "Did ANY of you read the contract?! An-y-way, whoever LOSES the immunity challenge will be forced to vote off one of their members at the elimination ceremony. More details on that when you get there. Now it's time to split you guys up into teams! 8 people each on 2 teams. The first one, Wata, consists of Sergeant McKee, Trish, Melody, Jaime, Adonis, Diamond, CeCe, and Brian. The second one, Fiyah, consists of Daniel, Diana, Victor, James, Wista, Jake, and Mikayla."
The respective teams shuffled and spread to their own sides, some people shaking hands and saying empty greetings. "Okay," Chris began again, "you've all had enough time to get to know each other. Who's ready for the first IMMUNITY challenge?"
"Didn't you say that rewards came first?" Brian asked.
"It changes sometimes, okay?!" Chris responded, visibly annoyed by this point.
"Couldn't you include a reward WITH the immunity?" Mikayla asked. "Speaking of that," she began again, turning towards the camera and holding up an airline ticket, "fly Canadian Albatross for instant rewards! After a single flight, you get one free lunch on your next flight over 12 hours. How great is that?" She flashed a movie-star smile and flipped her hair.
"Um, okay," Chris said. "Let's just... start the challenge. For today's challenge, you guys will--"
"Wait," Diamond started.
"WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT?!" Chris screamed at her.
"Mind if I freshen up first?" she asked, shaking a makeup bag.
Chris took a deep sigh and said, as if talking to a child, "Diamond. There are no bathrooms here, sweetie. Also, I'm going to have to take that makeup bag away." Diamond raised an eyebrow at him that said 'Really?' Resigning, Chris got ready to explain the challenge. "Hidden somewhere on the island is a coconut painted gold. Find the coconut and you will win immunity for your team! Easy enough?"
The cast nodded their heads eagerly. "Oh yeah, one more thing," Chris said. "There are plenty of cameras dispersed all throughout the island. Over the course of the day, take a few moments to sit down at one of the cameras and tell us what you're thinking. Confess. Spill your deepest, darkest secrets, or maybe just explain a little bit of your strategy."
Wista (CONF): What a glorious group of people! And everything here is wonderful. I love the weather and the beautiful sights, but really the weather. Yes, the hot sun beats down on us all. Some may say that their spirits would be lowered... I love it. If it would rain, I believe I would be one to stand on the beach and stare up into the clouds, looking, dreaming...
James (CONF): Operation Jamaica is a-go. Status: In progress. I've yet to infiltrate the enemy or even know my team, but it won't be long until we'll be a slick, cohesive unit. And with my leadership skills and total knowledge of how to destroy the enemy, it won't be long until we're in the clear.
Mikayla (CONF): Of COURSE everything is amazing! I just love it here. Jamaica is so great. I would love to go on location here! Oh my God. I just realized... this is totally like going on location! I'm MAKING a SHOW in Jamaica! How cool is that? And speaking of shows, I'll be guest starring in The Unnerved and The Ugly, season 3, coming this fall to XYZ Family!
Trish (CONF): What? You were expecting me to say something about how great this is and how much I love everyone? As if. I'm here for one reason: cash. I'm going all the way or you can see me walking off this island tomorrow. Oh, and the cast? (bleep)s.
"Ready to get to your challenge? On your marks... get set... go!" Chris said.
While Fiyah immediately ran off to find the coconut, Wata was stuck on their mat trying to figure out what to do.
"Given North, West, East, South," Jaime began, "If we move alphabetically from east to north to south to west, we'll cover the whole island and find that coconut!"
"I think that's literally the stupidest plan I've ever heard," Trish said.
"Aye, back in the military, ye always move away from danger, towards the sun," Sergeant McKee told wisely.
There was an awkward silence for a moment before Melody raised her hand and said, "Sorry, I'll be the first to say this: Nobody knows what the heck you're talking about."
Sergeant McKee mumbled something and stepped back.
"You know, if we get moving now, we can probably cover more ground and think of a fluid plan along the way," Adonis suggested.
"What a great plan," Diamond said, nudging herself towards Adonis.
"Uhhh... thanks?" Adonis said.
"Anybody have a better plan than Adonis?" Brian asked.
"We could always, like, find the coconut," CeCe added.
"That's what we're doing, (bleep)tard," Trish told CeCe.
"Harsh," Melody commented.
"Ohhhhh! Fun!" CeCe said.
"Great, we're ready to go," Brian said. The whole team turned around and set out toward the jungle.
A mere second later, Mikayla burst through the brush. "Found the coconut!" she said, and indeed she did. Her team wasn't far behind.
"Well, this is just great," Trish grumbled.
"Fiyah wins immunity!" Chris announced.
Daniel (CONF): (constantly twitching while he talks) I su-suppose we... won our first imm-mm-mm-mminunity. (looking off-camera) And, you know, that is... great and... that rock looks awfully flammable.
"Wata, I'll be seeing you at the elimination ceremony tonight!" Chris said. "Really, you guys didn't even get STARTED. Ha. Sucks to suck. Seeya in a few." He left, throwing each team a map to their camp.
Fiyah followed their map, working well together. "Well, that was a wonderful challenge," Victor commented.
Victor (CONF): I'm beginning to grow a little worried... I didn't see many animals while we were in the forest. It may be hard to find any blood for me. I operate on a very strict diet, you know, and if I don't get what I need, it may be my teammates making sacrifices.
"Very," Diana responded to Victor. "I loved that challenge! Production can work great magic, can't it?"
"Magic," sighed Wista. "Oh, what a splendid word. Magic. I may just say it again... magic."
"You know, I really freaking hate Chris. Making us SLEEP on a BEACH?! Who does production think they are?!" Diana exclaimed in a fit of rage. She earned many strange looks from her teammates.
Meanwhile, Wata was, for some reason, in the middle of the jungle.
"Okay, how did we even get here?" Brian said. "The map is really very clear, we're supposed to follow that path up THE BEACH."
"Well, maybe you should direct us then, freakin' mapmaker!" Melody yelled, throwing the map at Brian. He glanced at it for a moment and gave an exasperated look.
"It's sideways, Melody. It's BEEN sideways. West isn't really supposed to point up, you know."
"Well, how was I supposed to know that?!"
"Try school. It's actually very helpful."
"The only school I've known is music school, sweetie. I belong to the arts."
Trish suddenly threw her hands into the air. "Well, if you guys aren't going to get a move on soon, we won't get there in time to ELIMINATE anybody!"
"I'm actually pretty sure we have to go somewhere else to eliminate someone," CeCe said innocently, flipping her hair.
"...I. know. that." Trish said, completely annoyed.
"Oh, LOL!" CeCe laughed.
"Yeah, Trish is right," Brian said, flipping the map around. "This way," he said, pointing. The team went on ahead, but Sergeant McKee pulled Trish aside.
"Lady, better listen 'ere," he said. "Aye was thinkin' and are best bet would be you, me, and Brian up there."
"What? You mean like an alliance?" Trish asked.
"Aye," Sergeant McKee answered.
"Um... I guess. We're voting CeCe, though."
Trish (CONF): Sergeant McKee asked me -- wait. Before I say anything about that, does anybody else think it is RIDICULOUS that he makes us call him Sergeant McKee? Dude, you're not still in the navy or whatever the hell else you did. Like, shut up. I don't even know his first name. I'll really have to look into that. Anyway, he asked me for an alliance with him and Brian, and of course I said yes, no matter how stupid I think alliances are. Since everybody else is going to do them... ugh. I have to too.
"What's new with you?" Diamond asked, running up to Adonis.
"Not much," Adonis said, eyeing Diamond.
"Your pants are falling down, you know," Diamond said flirtatiously. Adonis sidestepped from her and almost pulled them up, but Diamond interrupted him, "No, no, I've got it." Their hands touched for a moment and Diamond pulled them up.
"I need to... check out that map," Adonis said, shuffling away.
Diamond (CONF): I'm sure everybody knows that I'm the flirt! That's me. Diamond M, the Las Vegas showgirl and full-time flirt! This season, I'll be working all the boys. So far, I've been doing my best to buddy up to Adonis, and I really think it's paying off! He really seems like he's starting to warm up to me. I just might be able to charm his vote!
Adonis (CONF): Diamond's literally crazy.
Fiyah arrived at their camp. Their shelter was already built for them and they all cheered together and started hugging.
"Oh my God, this is just like the set of FOUND!" Mikayla screamed.
"Duuuuuude!" Jake said simply.
"Simply wonderful!" Wista exclaimed.
"Alright, guys," James projected, gathering everyone, "we need to start working right away if we want to complete our mission. Under my leadership, there will be nothing but work around here. We have little supplies and nothing to help us destroy the enemy, so we have to make sure our weapons are strong. You know what they are?" He turned to Victor. "Huh? Do you?"
"Uhh.. no?" Victor said.
"Disgrace," James spat. He continued. "OurSELVES. That's our weapon. We are our own biggest weapon. Now everybody put their hands in. Operation D.E.F.E.A.T has begun."
The team did as he asked and they did a cheer.
Jake (CONF): So James thinks he's the leader. Y'know, like, that's fine, but just don't expect me not to blame you if we lose and go right ahead to vote you out. Plus, he thinks he's a spy or something. That annoys the crap out of me. Horrible leader? God, yes. Horrible team? Ehhh.
Meanwhile, Wata still hadn't managed to find their camp. They seemed to be even deeper into the jungle.
"You know what?" Brian asked. "We probably won't even have time to get to camp. We're gonna have to go straight to the elimination ceremony."
Diamond began to cry a little. "This is so hard! No water! No food!"
Diamond (CONF): (wiping her eyes) I just... this experience has been so big so far. I had no idea any game could be this hard. Of course I want to win but it's already been 6 hours and I feel like I won't be able to make it 39... wait. What's that? It's 39 days? ... (begins bawling)
"Brian, let me see the stupid map," Trish asked, stepping forward. Acting like she was looking at the map and trying to make something out, she began whispering to Brian, saying, "You, me, and Scotty over there. Vote CeCe."
Brian nodded and Trish announced to the group, "Okay, listen everyone. We're taking a detour because apparently nobody here can figure out how to work a freakin' map. We're going to have to go straight to the elimination ceremony, so if you want to vote me out, you'd better start gathering the votes now." There was nervous laughter among the crowd, but Trish turned around and started leading the way.
Noticing Trish and Brian together, Sergeant McKee hobbled up to the front of the group.
"Hey," CeCe said, speaking to Adonis, Jaime, Diamond, and Melody, "what are they talking about?"
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say an alliance," Diamond said. "Shame. I was hoping for a little showmance with Brian." Suddenly realizing she was talking to Adonis, she turned around and said "You're more than just a showmance, though, sweetie."
"Wait, Diamond, you're a genius!" Melody said.
"That's just it! They're making an alliance."
"Um, yeah, we kinda already knew that," Adonis said. "If you needed Diamond to point it out, then I don't really--"
"Watch it, brownie," Melody snapped.
"I have to say, that makes no sense," Jaime commented. "If you were to make a strong alliance, you would need the first three people in the alphabet -- Adonis, Brian, and CeCe."
".... Yeah," Adonis said.
Adonis (CONF): Brian, Sergeant McKee, and Trish have formed an alliance. Well, the only sensible thing to do on my part is to form a counter-alliance consisting of the rest of the team to take them out.
"Look," Adonis said, "we have to take them out. Trish sucks, but she's strong in challenges, same with Brian. We have to go with Sergeant McKee."
"I really don't like Trish, either! LOL!" CeCe said.
"Okay, I guess it doesn't really matter," Adonis said. "Everybody vote for who they want out. We'll see how it goes down. Just make sure it's either Trish, Sarge, or Brian. Good?"
Night fell quickly and Wata was hopelessly lost, so production had to fetch them and lead them to the elimination ceremony. As they arrived and took their seats, Chris began to talk.
"Wow. You guys really suck. Really, you couldn't even find your way to your camp? Hahahahahaha, that's seriously pathetic. Anyway, you all know how this goes. You will all make your votes, I'll read your votes, and the person with the most votes goes home. Ready?"
"Someone's excited," Trish said.
Ignoring Trish, he continued. "Alright, normally, I would question you here -- LOVE the drama -- but you guys took too long and we're short on time, so just vote. CeCe, you're up."
Each person went up one-by-one to vote. Chris went to grab the jar of votes and returned with them. He stared at the cast dramatically. All of them shifting nervously in their seats, Chris stated, "The person who recieves the most votes will have to leave the island immediately. Down there is the Dock of Shame, followed by the Boat of Losers. You must take the shameful walk down there and board the Boat of Losers, where you will be driven home. I'll read the votes."
Trish whispered something to Brian before the votes started.
"First vote... Brian."
Brian shrugged, but looked nervous in his eyes.
"Second vote... CeCe."
CeCe giggled and looked around while Brian relaxed.
"Third vote... Sergeant McKee. That's one vote each for Brian, CeCe, and Sergeant McKee."
Sergeant McKee looked a bit angry, but didn't look threatened.
"Fourth vote... CeCe."
"Fifth vote... Sergeant McKee."
"Sixth vote... CeCe."
"Seventh vote... Sergeant McKee. That's three votes CeCe, three votes Sergeant McKee, one vote Brian, one vote left."
Trish, Brian, and Sergeant McKee were whispering to each other nervously while Adonis sat back and smiled, knowing what was coming.
"First person voted out of Total Drama Jamaica...
...Sergeant McKee. Time for you to go."
"What?!" he yelled, jumping out of his seat. He turned to the group of people. "Egozentrisch, rücksichtslos Gören! Wie konnten Sie stimmen mich aus? Ich habe dir gesagt, von Anfang an war ich einer der stärkeren hier. Sie bezahlen! Denn jetzt haben Sie den Kopf des Drachen geschnitten ... aber man muss mit seinem Stuhlgang beschäftigen! Viel Glück für Sie, ja, viel Glück," he ranted.
"NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOU," Melody screamed at him.
"Sergeant McKee, the team has spoken. Now get out," Chris said. Sergeant McKee stormed off down the way.
"Three of you got votes tonight. Also, you guys sucked all-around today. You didn't even start the challenge PLUS you couldn't find your way to camp. Double kicker. Try to shape up, we want things interesting for TV. Head back to-- er, head to camp."
CeCe (CONF): Welcome ladies and gentleman to the CeCe Show! You see, my lovelies, I'm not actually dumb. I'm actually not (pulls off wig) even a blonde. It's all a wonderful little lie I made up to get myself to the end of this game. Nobody's going to think the pretty little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes is going to be a threat. (giggles)
"Wow!" Chris said. "Seems like she's going to make things very interesting. What will come of CeCe's faux personality? Will she get discovered? Can Wata get themselves together at all? Find out all this and more next time on Total... Drama... Jamaica!
Melody (For Sergeant McKee): Crazy, crazy, crazy. Plus old and stinky.
Trish (For CeCe): Something feels very wrong about you and I'm going to find out what it is if you don't go tonight.
CeCe (For Sergeant McKee): Sorry, sweetie. I have to play the game and that means taking out the other alliances.
Adonis (For Sergeant McKee): Just how the game goes.
Brian (For CeCe): This is how Trish told me to vote. And she kinda scares me. So... hope you go. Sorry.
Sergeant McKee (For CeCe): Dumm, dumm, Mädchen.
Jaime (For Brian): Why you wouldn't have your alliance consist of the first three in the alphabet, I will never know. I'm voting you for being incompetent.
Diamond (For Sergeant McKee): Okay, you're like, really gross and wrinkly. Can't be working with that.
Episode Two: He'll Never See It Coming!
"Last time on Total Drama Jamaica," Chris began, standing on the dock in front of the island, "16 contestants were marooned on the not-so-remote island of Jamaica, beginning the adventure of a lifetime!" Various shots of people arriving were shown. "Right off the bat, there were friendships, romance, and conflicts! Love it!" Clips of Adonis and Diamond together were shown along with ones of Trish and CeCe. "Sergeant McKee, Trish, and Brian formed an alliance, but apparently they forgot they'd need two more for the majority... so Adonis picked up the slack and took Sergeant McKee out of the game." Sergeant McKee's rant and him storming off was shown. "Who will be eliminated tonight? How will Trish and Brian deal with their ally leaving? Find out all this and more, right now, on Total... Drama.. Jamaica!"
Wata was all making their way back to camp in the night after the elimination ceremony. "Pretty interesting, huh?" Melody said passively, setting her torch next to the camp.
Trish (CONF): So, uh... yeah. That happened.
Brian (CONF): I know German. It was very... interesting to hear what Sergeant McKee had to say when he-- okay, not even beating around the bush, he said he was the head of the 'dragon' that is our alliance and proceeded to call us dragon (bleep).
"Hi, guys, can we have a little team meeting?" CeCe cheerfully said, bringing everyone out of the shelter.
CeCe (CONF): My strategy is to play the part of the dumb blonde and be thrown around and used as a vote. Then, at the end, I'll have slid my way into the end... and bam! (bashfully smiles) Off comes the fake personality and I reveal the mastermind that is CeCe. I'm only doing this because when you have a personality as fabulous as my own, you're bound to butt heads with some people. I have to play the social game. So instead, I'm doing what I do best! Acting.
"Listen," CeCe began, "I know we might have lost that first challenge and for a few of us, we might be looking down... but we can win tomorrow! I know we can! You just have to perk up and be cheery. It's what I do best." She smiled at the group.
"That's right, everyone," Trish said, "all you need to is be cheery to win! That's the ONLY way we can do this!"
"Trish, your negativity is really hurting the team," CeCe said, tears welling up. "It doesn't make me feel good to hear you say things like that."
"I'm going to bed," she said, leaving the group.
Diamond (CONF): Drama! Yay! (laughs) Love it! While the attention is off of me, I can work on my boy and CeCe and Trish can do whatever they need to do.
Brian (CONF): Of course I like Trish and at this point she's my only rock-solid ally, but she's horrible socially. She can't engage in normal conversation. You have to get to know her and peel off layer by layer of cold before you can get to anything warm. Even I'm not above... 10 degrees yet.
"All I can say is we better perform at the next challenge," Melody said, also leaving the group. They pretty much disbanded to go to bed after this.
The next morning at Fiyah, Diana and Mikayla were up early and out getting firewood.
"Listen," Diana began, "what do you think of me and you going to the final 2?" She smiled.
"Really?" Mikayla asked excitedly. "You're willing to take me? Oh, this is going to give me SO much screentime!"
"Well, obviously I don't mean some kind of friendship or anything," Diana corrected, now frowning. "Strictly strategic. Nothing personal." She suddenly looked at her feet and began talking again, her voice shaky and unstable, "Unless I need a shoulder to cry on... you'd be there for me, right Mikayla?"
"Um," Mikayla said, unsure how to answer. "Yeah, sure!"
"You're so nice to me," Diana sputtered, shaking and sobbing. "So, so, nice."
Mikayla (CONF): You know, for my own health... I'm not realy sure if Diana's the best person to be in the final 2 with. Like, you never know when she's gonna pick up the machete and with a little whack whack here and a whack whack there your head's gone!
Meanwhile, Jake was snoring in the shelter. "Ughhhh, this sucks so much," Victor whispered to everyone else, clearly awoken by Jake. "I can't get a blink of sleep with this meatloaf around."
"He's clearly disturbing the peace of our team," James added.
"Even I find myself somewhat unsettled," Wista commented.
Wista (CONF): The one they call "Jake" is not very enjoyable to be around. He is a very large disturbance to my inner nirvana. I thought I had found peace long ago but some still give me tremors from deep inside, places I wish to never return to again.
"Where's Daniel?" James asked.
"Down by the ocean," Victor answered. "Ugh, if I were out in the wild, he would be such easy prey right now."
Daniel was washing himself in the ocean. "I... have to stay under c-control. No burning, Daniel. No burning, no burning, no burning. No fire, Daniel. No fire, no fire, no fire." He turned to the camera. "M-may I be alone... just for a little while." He splashed some water onto his face and sat on the beach, staring out across the ocean into the rising sun. "Big... ball... of... fire," he whispered.
At Wata again, Melody was reading Tree Mail.
For the best reward,
And comforts galore,
You'll have to pass the test.
Be the smartest,
Brain the largest,
And make sure to be the best.
"Are they all gonna rhyme?" Trish asked, drying her hair after taking a splash in the ocean.
"Probably! Rhymes are fun!" CeCe answered.
"That is so lame," Melody said.
"Alright, team huddle," Brian said, taking control of the team for the mere seconds they weren't fighting. "Listen, we're gonna win this challenge! I'm sure we can muster some brains together..." he glanced at his team, "or not, but c'mon! Teamwork is all we need! We can do this! All hands in."
Everyone put their hands into the middle of the huddle and yelled "1! 2! 3! WATAAAAA!"
Both teams arrived at the challenge sometime later in the day. "Alright! You guys are back! How was your first night?"
"Horrible," Diana said weakly. However, she quickly straightened up, saying, "But our team can pull through. We're a tough bunch of WORKERS. Isn't that right, TEAM!"
"SIR YES SIR!" they all replied.
"As you can see, Sergeant McKee was voted out in a drama-filled first elimination ceremony!" Chris said to Fiyah.
"Oh, he was the old guy, right?" Mikayla asked. "Yeah, he could totally have used some of this very special Skin-Clearing Ointment sponsored by Prolazy, available in stores near you!"
"I don't believe that clears wrinkles," James told Mikayla.
"Shhhh! You always lie to the audience!" Mikayla shushed him.
"Alright, it's time for your guys' first reward challenge!" Chris announced. "Today, it'll be a battle of the brains."
"Really?" Melody said, acting surprised. "I didn't get that from the message you sent us!"
"Oh, do you have trouble understanding the language as well?" Wista asked, perking up at the thought someone else was sharing her troubles. "The only common language between us all comes from Mother Nature," she said, blowing a kiss to the clouds.
"It's- It's called sarcasm," Melody said.
"Oh," Wista replied sadly. "I apologize."
"Alright, each team will send one representative up at a time!" Chris started to explain.
"Oh no," Brian said.
"I will ask you a question about Jamaica and you will have to answer it! First team to do so wins a point. First to 3 points wins an AWESOME reward! But you don't get to know about that until after you win. Ready to start?"
Simultaneously, they all said, "No," but Chris replied, "Good! First match-up is James vs. Brian."
"Alright, I can take the bloody loser any day," James said. "Operation: W.T.C, win the challenge, is a-go."
"First question: Jamaica was invented in what year?" Chris asked.
"Invented?" Brian asked.
"Yes, Brian. Everyone knows Jamaica is a manmade island," Chris answered, getting annoyed.
"1763," James answered matter-of-factly.
"Correct! First point to Fiyah!" Chris exclaimed.
"What," Brian said. "I don't even-"
"You lost, dude. Sit down."
Brian sighed and sat. Trish gave him a consoling pat on the back.
"Next up is Diamond vs. Diana!" Chris announced. Brian groaned.
"Question number dos... when did the Caribbeaners take over Jamaica?"
"Are you kidding me?!" Brian yelled from the stands.
"Shush!" Chris said.
"Trick question, the Caribbeaners never took over Jamaica. It was the South Amerifracans," Diamond answered.
"Correctamundo! 1-1!" Chris exclaimed. Brian was speechless. "Next pair, Adonis vs. Jake!"
"Gonna pound this sucker into the ground," Jake claimed just loud enough for Adonis to hear. He high-fived his team and walked up to Chris.
"Alright, next question: You're out late at night to get water for your team. Suddenly, you hear a rustling. You realize you've come to encounter a esa kesna. What do you do?"
"Easy," Jake sneered cockily. "You pour water over it and let it melt."
"Wrong!" Chris chirped.
"What?" Jake protested. "But I--"
"Remember, you're ON a water run. You can't USE water. Adonis?"
"Hmm," Adonis said, thinking. "Well, considerably, you could kill ANYTHING at the right angle with the right amount of pressure put on it. I'd say if you took a stick from the jungle floor -- I'm sure there's one there -- then if you hit it on the head at exactly 27 miles per hour at a 45 degree angle to the crowning bone, its skull would shatter."
"I have no idea what you just said, but I'm gonna go with correct!" Chris announced. "That's 2-1, Wata's favor!" Chris recieved complaints from everyone in Fiyah's area, but he just said, "Up-up-up! I make the rules. That means NO ARGUING." He flashed a smile at the camera. "Next up is Wista vs. Melody!"
Melody menacingly ground her fist into her free hand, but Wista hardly seemed to notice, seeing as she was staring... straight into the sun.
"Alright, this could be the final question... the rain in Jamaica comes how often?" Chris asked.
"Finally, a normal question," Brian sighed.
"In flagorns," Chris continued.
Wista smiled. "The ground tells me the rain has not come since 2 flagorns ago, but judging by the healthiness of the plants, it should be coming within the next half flagorn, so I shall say about every 2.5 flagorns."
"That's right!" Chris exclaimed. "2-2, it's all tied up!"
"The hell is a flagorn?" Melody asked, walking back to her team.
"Last pair of today," Chris started, "Trish vs. Mikayla!"
"Alright! Yes!! We are SO going to win!" Mikayla cheered, high-fiving all of her teammates.
"Woo," Trish said sarcastically. "We're so going to win."
"Final question of the challenge," Chris began, "What is the tallest mountinian plateautian in Jamaica?"
"Hm..." Mikayla said, thinking.
"Um," Trish started nonchalantly, "what."
"10 seconds," Chris narrated, looking at his watch.
"Going out on a limb here," Mikayla unassuredly said, "but maybe the Jamaican Flat?"
"Trish, any guesses from you before the time runs up?" Chris asked.
"Just say... something!" Brian whispered to her.
Trish (CONF): (shiftily) I don't... perform well under pressure.
"Um," Trish stumbled, her usually pale face growing vermillion, "the... stupid host chateau?"
Chris glared at her. "That would be a big NO. Mikayla didn't get it right, but just for that rude little comment, I'm subtracting a point from Wata. Fiyah wins the challenge 2-1!"
Fiyah cheered happily. "Nice job, Mikayla!" Victor cheered.
"Ready to find out your reward?" Chris asked, smiling.
"I believe we are, Chris," James nodded, answering for his team.
"You all get... McLean Brand Hair Gel!" Chris announced happily. Fiyah let out a simultaneous groan of disappointment. "Provided you pay the processing & shipping fee of $10!"
"That's more than hair gel itself is worth," Jake commented skeptically.
"Oh, really?" Chris challenged. "How do you think all of this happens?" Chris gestured to his hair. He stepped closer to Jake, now in his face. "Do you think my hair is NATURALLY this good?"
"I think your hair is naturally that... suckish," Jake fought back.
Chris paused for a second and gasped, dumbfounded. He then glared at Jake. "Out! You're off my show. Leave! Now! You're out!"
"What? Whoa, dude, you're not serious, right?" Jake asked, backing down. He put his hands up in a defensive gesture.
"Out! Now!" Chris screamed, pointing off-screen. The rest of the cast started to whisper to each other worriedly. Chris then got a call on his cell phone, which rung the Total Drama theme song. "Hello?" he answered. "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. ...Uh-huh. But are you-- fine. FINE." He put the phone away and everyone looked at him, anxiously awaiting news.
"... Well?" Mikayla asked.
"Oh, they just said I had to give the gel to you for free," Chris said. "Jake, you're still out, bro."
Jake hung his head shamefully and walked to a waiting boat at the shore. It drove away with him in it. "Jake, the host has spoken! Sayonara!" Chris yelled after him, laughing maniacally.
Daniel (CONF): Well... our good friend Jake left today, which has our whole team reeling. He may have been negative, but he sparked a certain... fire within us.
"Enjoy your gel," Chris laughed, throwing a bag of them at the Fiyah team. "And Wata, you guys go back empty handed! Isn't that fun?" Both teams were unhappy and turned to go back to their respective camps.
At Wata, the team took to the shelter, aside from Jaime who went to get firewood (it was his turn after making Adonis, Brian, CeCe, and Diamond do it in that order). Adonis stood up and took a position in front of everyone sitting or laying down and began to speak. "Okay, guys, we can't keep losing," Adonis said.
"Well, what's your suggestion, Adonis?" Melody challenged, consequently realizing that his actual name was, well, Adonis.
"We aren't doing well as a team. We need to gel, guys. The other team has a leader and they're organized and they're happy and they're winning," Adonis answered.
"So what," Trish started, sitting up, "you want us to play the Name Game?"
"I already know EVERYONE'S name!" CeCe announced proudly.
"Oh my God it's talking," Trish said quickly, laying back down.
"What is?" CeCe asked, seemingly confused.
"I don't think they're listening to you any more, honey," Diamond said to Adonis, somehow adding a flirtatious air to it.
Adonis sighed and sat next to her. She put an arm around her and started playing with him while he spoke to her. "What else am I supposed to do? I'm just trying to get this team together so we can have a good time out here. I mean, why can't everyone just stop fighting? What can I do to make them stop?" He looked at Diamond. "Sorry for dumping all of this on you."
"No, I love hearing you talk," Diamond said, playing with his hair. "You know, the whole team doesn't have to be together to... have a good time." Adonis turned and looked at her in the eyes. She started to move towards him, but Adonis quickly stood up, causing Diamond to fall over. "Or not," she groaned.
"Sorry," Adonis said, embarrassed. "I-- um... sorry." He quickly walked off.
Over at Fiyah, though the team were less than satisfied with their reward & losing Jake, they were all belated for their 2nd win in a row.
Mikayla (CONF): Our 2nd win! Yay! It's so much fun to be out here when you win. I was so sad when Jake left, though... in fact, the only thing that could contain my tears was Deenex tissues. They're so strong, you may as well call them 4-ply!
"Good fight today, team," James said happily.
"It sucked so much losing Jake," Diana commented, sounding very depressed and pessimistic.
"Ah, well," James began, "I never liked him much anyways."
"Even I liked the guy a little," Victor added.
"He was a threat to all of you," James told them with an authority. "In fact, while I'm around, you all won't so much as mention missing him. I don't and you shouldn't either. In fact, I'm glad he's gone. Extremely happy." He scowled at all of them.
"Um, harsh much? Ugh," Diana said obnoxiously, mirroring an angsty teenage girl.
"I'm going down to the ocean to wash up," James announced. "Anyone who wishes to join me may."
Mikayla (CONF): Okay, um, I feel kind of... dirty saying this, but I sort of don't like James. He acts like such a high and mighty leader, but I'm pretty sure he's the only one that even thinks he is. Also, he acts really condescending to everyone. Like, right, YOU know EXACTLY where tapioca is! Because you've totally been stranded on an island in the middle of the Caribbean before! And you're the only one in this entire group that knows the right way to flay a fish, I'm sure! Oh, and thanks for giving us your permission to wash up with the one person that'll probably soil the entire ocean just by touching it! ... Was that mean?
"Ugh, he sucks," Mikayla whispered to her other teammates.
"I know right? I'm considering eating him one of these nights," Victor replied.
"Or setting him on fire," Daniel added.
"I say we vote him out next," Diana suggested. "He'll never see it coming!"
"Diana's right, this is the perfect time," Mikayla said.
"Let us make sure he does not catch wind of our little plan," Wista said.
"Right," Victor confirmed. "Nobody tells James and you agree to whatever he tells you, and we vote him out."
"Hey, let's throw the challenge," Diana suggested. "It's the only surefire way to get him off."
"Are you sure? That might give the other team hope," Mikayla asked. "Hope is very powerful."
"I'm sure," Diana nodded. "I've calculated all the risks and nine times out of ten, this is the best way to make sure James leaves before the merge."
"This island has a strange way of bringing out the one possibility, though, don't you think?" Wista asked mysteriously.
"Um... we'll see," Diana said.
Both teams went to the challenge. "Alright, gather 'round," Chris said. The contestants did as told. "Alright, you're fighting for immunity today! The challenge is extremely simple. All you have to do is dig on the beach to find a rock with your team's logo on it. The first time to find theirs wins!"
"That's it?" Melody scoffed. "Psh, easy."
"Uh, yeah," Chris responded. "As long as you don't consider the booby traps and explosives a thing. Happy digging!" He throwed them all shovels and walked away.
"Uh... let's get started!" Mikayla cheered. She started digging, but upon sticking the shovel into the ground, a land mine went off and she went flying into the nearby forest.
"Fiyah's down to 6!" Chris laughed, yelling through a bullhorn while laying on a lounge chair.
"Oh no, that's not what we wanted!" Diana said, acting badly.
Diana (CONF): Heheh. Little did James know, that's exactly what we wanted.
"Okay, listen," Adonis said to Wata, "this is our chance to win!"
"Alright," Brian began, "let's start all the way on that end of the beach and work our way up here. If we find the other team's rock, we hide it in the forest. Got it? Break!"
"You know how to use a shovel, Barbie?" Trish asked CeCe.
"I do, but thanks so much for caring!" CeCe answered, bubbling.
CeCe (CONF): (gags)
Trish (CONF): There's no way ANYBODY is that plain nice, not to mention completely and totally stupid. I never thought that teacher 'Nobody's stupid' crap would ring true, but the proof is in the blonde...ing. I'm going to keep ragging on CeCe until she cracks. I'm not really a horrible person, I'm just curious how long it takes. The only other option is that she's possessed or something... you know, that really wouldn't surprise me either.
"Alright, team," James started, "you soldiers dig in a circular motion. I'll use my tracking skills to locate our fallen teammate."
"Okay, good luck!" Victor feigned.
"I though the plan was to--" Wista began before Daniel interrupted her.
"N-no, Wista, I was joking about the fire pattern," Daniel quickly said, trying to make the impression that the plan she was talking about was the digging pattern.
"Oh," Wista said, confused. Suddenly realizing what was happening, she said, "Oh! Oh. Ohhh!"
"... Alright, I'll be on my way," James announced, leaving.
"This is going great!" Diana said to her team, smiling.
"I apologize for almost throwing the plan down the flusher, as your kind says," Wista said, ashamed.
"Down the t-toilet," Daniel corrected.
"Thank you," Wista said brightly, looking up at Daniel. Their eyes met and she quickly looked down again.
Wista (CONF): Although nobody here is quite normal, I believe Daniel is the only other person here who feels as outcasted as I do. Sometimes the thing a human -- or non-human -- needs most is knowing that they are not alone. (smiles shyly)
"Hmmm hmmm hmmmmmm," Melody hummed while digging.
"Okay, can you please stop humming?" Trish asked. "I know you think you're gonna be really big and a pop star someday, but trust me, honey, this show is gonna be all you're ever gonna get. Not to mention you don't even sound that good."
"That was... really uncalled for," Diamond interjected.
"Yeah, well," Trish began, "reality can be pretty uncalled for sometimes, too."
Diamond (CONF): If I want to, I can be a (bleep), but Trish seriously takes it to a whole new level. I've never heard anyone that has such a rude comment to say to EVERYTHING!
"Trish," Brian called out, "dig over here for a sec?"
Trish sighed. "Sure, whatever." As soon as she walked away, Melody yelled out,
"Guys, I think I found something!" She stuck her shovel in again, but her "something" exploded tar into her face. "Ewwwwww! Somebody help oh my God ew ew ew!" She ran off into the ocean.
"What's up?" Trish asked Brian.
"Okay, I need you to be calm when I tell you this," Brian warned.
"Yeah, well, you're not as annoying as some of them," Trish responded.
"You need to tone it down," Brian admonished. "There's a social aspect to this game, too, and if you don't at least get, like, 100% nicer, you're screwing both of us over."
"So I need to pretend to be somebody else," Trish laughed.
"Uh, for this competition? Yes," Brian answered. Trish thought for a second.
"Alright, but as soon as you make a mistake, I'm back to the Trish everybody knows and hates."
Meanwhile, the Fiyah team were all lazily digging together. Diana accidentally struck something solid. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me," she muttered. Investigating, she dug around it and found that it was a rock. "Guys, help me pull this out," she said. They pulled it out, only to realize that it was the other team's rock.
"Let's give this to them so they can win!" Victor suggested, excited.
"No, that'll be too obvious... James will notice. I have a plan," Diana responded.
As if called by a cue, James and Mikayla then appeared. "I found her in a ditch... She's not quite back to normal yet," James proclaimed.
"Explosion," Mikayla murmured as if within a trance. "Sky. Fall. Ground."
"Ah, you found our rock?" James asked, pointing to Wata's rock. "Let's win this."
"Chris, we have found our rock!" Wista yelled out to him. She then glanced at the rock and felt it. "Oh, this beautiful energy has been carved smooth by the wind." She sighed dreamily. "I love the wind."
"Fiyah, you guys got it?" Chris asked. "Let me check!" He made his way to their team and glanced at the rock. He began laughing hysterically. "Oh, man, I was hoping this would happen. Fiyah, you guys just showed me WATA's rock! You know what that means... Wata wins immunity!"
Wata cheered and hugged each other (even Trish).
"Darn!" Diana faked.
"Fiyah, you're voting someone out tonight! Haha, prepare for the drama," Chris announced.
"Well," James started with an "I'm-not-mad-just-disappointed" voice, "I'm not sure how you ALL could have made that mistake, but I suppose this is a good opportunity to get rid of some dead weight."
"Got that right," Victor muttered.
"Oh, one more thing," Chris said. "It turns out I'm not allowed to eliminate Jake like that, so... he's coming back!" A boat pulled up, holding a very angry-looking Jake.
"Welcome back," James said cordially.
"Don't give me that crap," Jake said menacingly, picking James up by the collar of his shirt. "I saw everything."
"Everything?" James asked cowardly. Jake simply nodded slowly in reply.
Hours later, Fiyah walked to the elimination ceremony.
Diana (CONF): So, my plan was that we vote out James, and right now the only thing that can change that is if a meteor fell out of the sky and killed us all. (laughs at her own joke)
Mikayla (CONF): (still not quite "right") Secret agent man GO LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE!!
"Alright, everyone take your seat and I'll ask you a couple questions before we get to the vote," Chris said. The contestants did as they were told and sat around the campfire. "Okay, James, would you call yourself the 'leader' of this team?"
"Um... yes, I would," James answered with a smile.
"AW, HELL NAW!" a voice screamed from the back of the elimination ceremony. Everybody turned around to where it came from, but there was nothing there.
"Who are you?" Wista breathed.
"Do you see it?" Diana asked.
"I do," Wista answered, still shocked.
"Y'ALL STILL DON'T KNOW WHO I AM?" the voice screamed again. "Y'ALL STILL DON'T KNOW MY NAME?"
"Um, even I don't," Chris added.
"THE NAME IS MARY," she screamed. "AND I AM OUT OF THIS SHOW! OFF! I QUIT! GOT IT?"
"We didn't even pick you," Chris said. "I still don't even SEE you."
"OH, (BLEEP) YOU, CHRIS MCLEAN. YOU TOO, JAMES. YOU'RE A CONDESCENDING DICK."
Mikayla suddenly snapped out of her trance. "Where am I?" she asked.
Diana paused and looked at her. "Your trigger word was... never mind."
"SEE ALL OF Y'ALL LATER! ACTUALLY, I WON'T! (BLEEP) YOU ALL!" Mary screamed. She threw her torch across the campfire.
"Um... bye, I guess," Diana said.
"OH, YEAH, ONE MORE THING," Mary continued, "YOU KNOW DIANA AND MIKAYLA? THEY HAVE AN ALLIANCE."
Diana and Mikayla exchanged a worried glance. James glared at them.
"THAT'S RIGHT," Mary screamed, "I WAS WITH YOU WHILE YOU GUYS MADE THAT!"
"That's impossible!" Diana fought. She was slapped across the face by an invisible force.
"HOW IMPOSSIBLE IS THAT, (BLEEP)?" Mary asked. She stormed out of the elimination ceremony. There was a dead silence for about a minute.
"Um... how about you guys just go back to camp?" Chris suggested. "No vote tonight."
"Ah, too bad," James commented, relieved. Jake shot him a firey look. "If looks could kill..." James muttered.
The Fiyah team walked out of the elimination ceremony and went back to their camp.
"And with that, we're down to 14! Things are getting very interesting here in Jamaica. Romances are blooming, enemies are enemy-ing, and... actually, that's all. Tune in next time for more dramatic action on Total... Drama... Jamaica!"
Episode Three: Keep On Dancing Until The Freakin' World Ends
"Last time on Total Drama Jamaica," Chris began, standing on the dock in front of the island. "Trish and Brian found themselves in hot water with their team after their only ally was voted out! The conflict between Trish and... her whole team deepened, especially with dumb blonde turned mastermind CeCe, who seemingly doesn't know there IS a conflict. Meanwhile, James found himself as the leader of Wata and very comfortable in being so, but everyone else was jumping at the thought of blindsiding him. So at the challenge, Trish and Brian made a deal that Trish would be less aggressive, and Wata threw the challenge to vote James out, saving the problem duo. In a surprise twist of events at the elimination ceremony, a never before seen contestant came into the picture... and right back out! Can Trish and Brian survive another day? With many romances blooming, how will they withstand the test of time... and drama? Find out all this and more right here, right now, on Total... Drama... Jamaica!"
At Wata, Daniel and Wista were both up early. Noticing the other person, they smiled and gestured to take a walk. Wista rolled out of the shelter. Everything was damp, seeing as it had rained overnight. She met Daniel on the other side.
"Hi!" Wista said, bubbly as always. "I just..."
"I know," Daniel responded. He smiled. "M-me too." They started to walk on the wet sand, barefoot and loosely clothed.
"Do you wake up this early every morning?" Wista asked shyly. "I find it difficult to sleep in such conditions."
"N-no, just today," Daniel answered. "The p-p-pitter-patter of the rain caused me to wake."
"You were awake for the rain?" Wista's eyes lit up and she grew excited. "Oh my, how was it?"
Daniel rose his head and looked into Wista's eyes. They both stopped walking. "It was nice," he said, smiling.
Daniel (CONF): Being around Wista c-calms my urges. She's one of the f-few I've never thought about lighting up... (awkward chuckle)
Wista pushed her hair behind her ear. "What's it like?" she asked.
"Hm?" Daniel said.
"You know... your... quirk," Wista stumbled.
"Oh," Daniel responded softly. "Well..." He paused.
"I'm sorry," Wista said quickly, blushing. "Did I strike something unpleasant? I dislike when those feelings come from within me. I apologize."
"Oh, no, it's f-fine," Daniel said, starting to look down. "I'd rather n-not, though..."
Wista (CONF): (sighs) I sometimes wonder if Daniel thinks of himself the same way I think of him. Humans here have small quirks and special things and I think that's wonderful, but something within them makes them think it is not okay to be different. It confuses me, but they do not think the same way I do, I suppose. I just hope one day Daniel can appreciate himself the way I appreciate him... and everyone.
James woke up in the shelter. He blinked his tired eyes and peered out over the beach. Suddenly seeing Wista and Daniel together, he sprung out of bed. "How are we doing, men?" he called out to them. Startled, they both turned and looked at him.
"Good," Daniel said back. "Just out to enjoy the morning."
"Ah, yes," James responded, looking out over the ocean. "The morning has always been my favorite time of day. Missions in the morning are the most fun to do, back in my spy days."
Wista gave Daniel a worried glance, saying 'What does he want?' She asked him, "You are not a spy anymore?"
James looked at her. "Oh, yes. I still am. Sorry about that." He looked out over the ocean again for a moment, then turned around to face them. "Alright, I have a proposition for you two."
"Yeah?" Daniel responded.
"I'm sure you both know how I was likely the candidate to be voted out last night," James started. Both nodded their heads and he continued. "But I'm sure you also both know I am the glue that holds this team together and voting me off would be the most absurd thing you could do in our situation." He waited, but neither nodded their heads. He continued anyway. "So I propose a little voting block, a little... alliance between the 3 of us. To ensure that our team stays strong. What do you think?" Wista and Daniel glanced at each other.
James (CONF): They would be absolutely stupid not to accept this proposal. Then again, with Mental and Weirdo, I wouldn't doubt them being that stupid. How has it gotten to the point where I have to align with them for safety?
"Yeah, s-sure," Daniel replied. James stuck out a hand for a handshake. Daniel took it. He did the same with Wista.
"Alright then," James began. "I'll see you around." He walked in the other direction.
"How strange!" Wista exclaimed. "He's never talked to me before, but it seems like I'm the piece missing in his puzzle now!"
"Exactly," Daniel said. "He j-just wants you for his p-plan. He th-th-thinks we're dumb enough to just go with it."
"Oh," Wista said sadly. "So I am dumb enough to go with his plan if I didn't have you."
"You're just... new to th-this," Daniel stated. "We're learning together." Wista perked up.
"Thank you!" Wista said, hugging him. "You always know just what to say."
"Heh," Daniel laughed.
At Wata, Adonis was trying to rally the team up yet again. "Let's go for a warm-up jog! This is an important challenge today, guys... if we can get a streak going, we can dominate the entire season!"
The rest of the team was laying in the shelter, trying to huddle for warmth although the sun was quickly rising. "Sweetie, if you think we're going out there, you're crazy," Melody said.
"Just come in here with us!" CeCe invited. Adonis sighed and climbed into the shelter reluctantly. Diamond threw half of a blanket over him.
Soon afterwards, both teams arrived for the challenge. "Wata, take a look at Fiyah!" Chris announced.
"Um... who's missing?" Jaime asked.
"Beats me," Chris answered. "Ready to get to your immunity challenge?"
"Okay, seriously, dude, get some consistency going," Melody said.
"Today is a fun one!" Chris continued. "You guys are going to... wait for it... make a MUSIC VIDEO!"
"Oh, I'm sure this will be-- wait, I can actually work with this!" Melody said excitedly.
"Well, that's lame," Jake commented.
"Here's the dealio," Chris began.
"Okay, don't ever say that again," Trish interrupted.
"Would you guys SHUT UP?! Now, listen. Here is the deal. Both teams will get 2 video cameras and all the props you can find in the truck right over there," Chris said, gesturing. "You will be given the rest of the day to decide on a song, original or otherwise, and film a music video for it. Give us all the goods, dancing, lip syncing, you know! I will be judging them over the campfire tonight, so get cracking!"
"Let's do it!" Mikayla cheered. "I know just the song."
"What were you thinking?" Diana asked. "I mean, we have to accomodate for our vocal ranges, but go ahead."
"Dark Horse by Katy Perry!" Mikayla chirped. "That song is my jam!"
"Katy Perry sucks, but that song is surprisingly not that bad," Jake agreed.
"That song is so me!" Victor exclaimed.
"I can see the video now," Mikayla said with vision. "A dark palace... enveloped in the jungle... an evil queen... come on, follow me!" She took off towards the prop truck, clearly having a video in mind.
"Whatever the team wants," James chuckled nervously.
James (CONF): I HATE Dark Horse... but, after last time, I need to watch what I do and say around my team. I want to make it to the end and I've realized that just being a leader doesn't cut it-- I have to make good relations as well. The problem? I hate these people. Every single one of them would burn if I had the chance to decide that. Alas, I don't. (mutters something comparing the island to purgatory)
"Let's figure out which song we're going to do," Diamond told Wata.
"Obviously something that caters to my powerful vocals... My Heart Will Go On, maybe?" Melody suggested.
"Who said you were singing?" Trish started. "I know a good singer when I see one, and you're--" Brian gave her a warning look and she re-evaluated her next few words. "... almost there! Keep trying, girl."
Melody gave her a strange look and continued. "Guys, singing is my thing. I know I've been kind of... mean to some of you, but I know if you just hand me the mic and let me do my thing, we WILL win!"
Wata gave each other unsure looks. "I can sing too," CeCe chirped. "My rendition of Barbie Girl will knock your pants off."
"That sounds good to me," Brian agreed.
"Whatever, sure," Diamond said.
"Good! We're finally making team decisions!" Adonis said cheerily.
"I know just what we need!" CeCe exclaimed. She headed off towards the prop truck and Wata followed her.
"But... singing is my thing," Melody murmured sadly.
Melody (CONF): I wasn't that upset. Not... that upset. I just felt like it was unfair because CeCe doesn't do anything and she's worshipped by everyone. Like, yeah, she's kind of nice but she's really dumb. And everyone knows that singing is basically my life, so when it came down to the singing challenge and I'm not allowed to do that, then it's sort of like... (voice cracks) who am I? (wipes eyes) Sorry, um... can I... be alone?
Melody was crying outside the confessional area in the forest. "Get it together," she muttered to herself. "You can do this. So what if she's singing? It's just stupid singing... now if they lose, it's not on you, right?" She burst into tears again. "Stop, dammit!" She sat down on a rock and threw her face into her hands, sobbing. "Stop... stop... stop..." she said inbetween sobs.
Diana walked out from the trees and realized what she was seeing. "Hey," she gently said.
Melody saw Diana and quickly wiped the tears off her face. "Uh, hi," she responded.
"What's up?" Diana asked, sitting next to Melody and hugging her sideways.
"Nothing, it's stupid," Melody answered. "You should get to your team."
"They won't miss me for now," Diana said, smiling. "Seriously, you don't even have to see me again. We're on different teams. Just tell me what's going on."
"No," choked Melody, beginning to cry a bit again. "You'll probably just (bleep) up our team after you hear our weaknesses or whatever."
"Okay, look, you don't need to say anything. But if you want to cry, I have a shoulder that's just begging for some tears."
Melody laughed a little in response to this. Then she looked at Diana for a moment and completely broke down. She explained everything to Diana, forgetting her fears of not showing anyone weakness and opening up. When she finished, they both sat there for a second, Melody sniffling the last bits of her tears and Diana just hugging her. "Stupid, right?" Melody sort-of laughed, sort-of cried.
"Not at all," Diana empathized. "Not at all."
Diana (CONF): Obviously she's on the other team and all that and she's the enemy, but for that one moment I really did care for Melody. You know, humans can get so nasty and especially in this game so competitive that they can lose sight of what's important -- making sure you don't hurt people along the way. At this point I don't care for anyone on Wata except for Melody because of what they did when they know who she is and what she does. It just doesn't sit right with me.
"Are you feeling better?" Diana asked.
"Um, yeah, I think," Melody answered. "I don't really usually do this... I mean, people don't usually listen. It feels like there's less on my chest. That's feeling better, right?"
Diana laughed. "Yeah, that's feeling better. Listen, I'm going to go back to my team and you're going to go back to yours and we're both going to make a kick-ass video and you'll be just fine. Sound good?"
"Yeah," Melody responded, shaking off whatever feelings were still lingering. "Yeah, for sure."
Diana smiled and got up, starting to walk away. "Wait!" Melody called out. Diana turned back around. "Uh... thanks. For this. Really,this is the first time I've done something like this. It felt kind of... good."
Diana grinned. "No problem, Melody. Good luck." She left through the woods. Melody took a deep breath and made her way back to her team.
At Fiyah's shoot, Mikayla was clearly running the show. "Alright, people, we have to get this choreography DOWN! I'll focus on vocals and Jake, you can do the rap, but for now the rest of you do that dance!" Mikayla ran off to put the set up.
"Someone's intense," Victor commented.
"She's just s-stressed," Daniel added. "Now is there any way we could work fire into this v-video?"
"Hi guys," Diana said, walking out of the forest.
"Where have you been?" Victor asked.
"Just... getting some air," Diana fibbed.
"Um... okay," Victor responded.
Victor (CONF): Hint for those at home: She wasn't "getting air". There is literally air everywhere here, there's no INdoors. Something's up with Diana, and I'd like to find out what it is.
Diana (CONF): Okay, yes, I lied about it. I might be smart but apparently I'm not socially equipped. I just kind of... panicked.
"Okay people!" Victor called out, gathering them together. "From the top, 5, 6, 7, 8..." They began dancing while Victor, the choreographer, commented. "Work it!" "Let's see those hips MOVE!" "Come on, 8 more counts! Let's go!"
"May we take a rest?" Wista panted. "As much as I adore the humidity, it makes it quite difficult to move my body this way."
Victor took a step towards Wista so that he was very close to her face. "Do you want to WIN, Wista?" he growled.
"Of course! I just--" Wista started.
"Then you will keep on dancing until the freakin' world ends!" Victor screamed. "From the top!"
At Wata, CeCe had a "Barbie Girl"-esque dress on and was getting her hair & makeup done by Diamond. Melody came and joined them, having cleaned up and looking as fierce and guarded as ever.
"Look who finally decided to show up," Trish snarked.
"Just getting into character," Melody lied.
"We haven't told you your character yet," Brian inquired.
"Uh... yeah. I figured I'm playing a barbie," Melody continued.
"Self-absorbed as always," Diamond sighed. "But you're right."
"Have fun being my back-up!" CeCe giggled innocently.
"... Yeah," Melody responded.
CeCe (CONF): It is so fun to say all the back-handed comments! Nobody gets mad because you just say them all happy and giggle a little afterwards and suddenly you're not a (bleep) anymore!
"Okay, so, here's my idea," CeCe started.
"It thinks?" whispered Trish to Brian with feigned surprise.
"Be. Nice," Brian commanded. Trish glared at him.
"How about we do it JUST like the real Barbie Girl video? I doubt Chris has seen it anyway -- he doesn't seem like that type of guy -- and if he has, we can just say we're paying homage to one of the best videos of all time," CeCe suggested.
"Hey, there IS a brain in there!" Diamond approved.
"As long as everyone appears in alphabetical order," Jaime said uneasily. "That'll be Adonis, then Brian, CeCe, Diamond, me, Melody, and finally Trish."
"How about I'm just the camera girl?" Trish suggested. "Not really into the whole dolled-up look."
"Mmm, yeah, you wouldn't fit with the theme anyway," Diamond criticized. "That pale skin and bleak demeanor, mm-mm-mm."
"So I'm going to appear last," Melody muttered. "Pretty much how my day is going."
CeCe (CONF): And you know what else is great? Me being so dumb totally adds to this freakshow thing this team has going. And in reality, I'm the smartest one here! I can sit back and watch them go at it while I just cut in with "cute little CeCe" comments and nobody suspects a thing.
"What am I going to be doing appearing first anyway?" Adonis asked.
"You can be the Ken to my Barbie!" CeCe exclaimed.
"Wait, WHAT?!" Diamond cut in. She grabbed Adonis possessively. "No. Brian can be your Ken."
"Oh, are you two dating?" CeCe asked.
Adonis laughed. "We're not--"
"We will," Diamond answered, glaring. CeCe gave her an approving wink.
CeCe (CONF): And the last thing? You can totally stir up drama and nobody notices! Guess who's going to be fighting later because of 2 little blurbs from me? Trish and Brian AND Adonis and Diamond. (laughs condescendingly) What can I say? I'm good.
"One more thing," Jaime mused. "The real video has a huge production -- a Barbie house, cars, and a big set. We're in the middle of Jamaica. How are we going to do that?"
"Hmm... I have an idea!" Brian exclaimed. "Melody, Diamond, go get some palm fronds!" They both stared blankly at him. "Uh, wrong people. Trish, Jaime, go get some palm fronds!"
Grumbling, they did gather some. They brought them back to Brian. "Okay, now give me just a few minutes."
A few minutes later, Brian showed them a gigantic screen of palm fronds woven together. "Is it a magic carpet...?" CeCe asked while everyone else was bewildered.
"No, it's a greenscreen!" Brian explained. "We just film in front of it and then edit a background in later. It's genius!"
"Um... okay," Diamond commented, unimpressed.
"We better get started," Adonis said.
At Fiyah, they were already into filming. Victor was behind the camera while the rest were working on a dance part of the song.
"Cause baby once you're mine, once you're mine... there's no going back," Mikayla lip-synced. They all started dancing, but Victor cut them off right away.
"No, no, no! That's all wrong! Wista, you need to stop moving like a drugged whale! Daniel, your dancing is going down in flames. Diana, you'd think your high IQ would let you understand how to do a simple pop and lock! James, you may be a secret agent but you're clearly not a secret dancer with those moves. And Mikayla... you are the only competent one on this team."
"He is being unkind to us," Wista observed.
"If we lose, what do you think about voting him off?" James suggested. "You and I are still together, right? With Daniel?"
"Of course," Wista agreed. "To both propositions."
"Makeup!" Mikayla called out, flipping her hair.
"Mikayla is getting to be a bit of a diva, too," James muttered.
Victor came out again. "Okay, you guys need more practice so I'm going to work with Jake and Mikayla individually for the bridge. Don't slack off while I'm gone or I swear to whoever is in the Heavens that I will destroy you."
"Touchy," Diana commented.
Mikayla and Victor made their way to where Jake was waiting. He was wearing an intricate, dark, devil-themed costume to go with the theme set by Mikayla's witchy costume. "Okay, this isn't going to be a huge shot. Jake, you rap and do what you want, and Mikayla's just going to stand there and look hot."
"That, I can do," Mikayla affirmed with a smile.
"Okay, lights, camera, action!" Victor exclaimed.
Jake began fumbling over his rap. "She's a- a beast, I call... karma, be careful, try not- not to lead her on?"
"Cut!" Victor ordered. "What was that?"
"Um... okay, I haven't been very vocal about this, but I'm not a good rapper," Jake shamefully admitted.
"Uh, yeah, we know," Victor remarked.
"No, you don't understand," Jake continued. "My true passion is... opera singing."
"Um," Victor replied. "What."
"Seriously," Jake answered brightly. "I've had a huge voice since I was, like, 12."
"Would you like to..." Victor shuddered. "opera your part?"
"I'd really like that," Jake answered.
"This will be interesting," Mikayla said.
"Lights... camera... action!" Victor exclaimed.
Jake went through the entire rap part, singing in a rich opera voice that rivaled that of the late and great Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau. Mikayla had her acting face on through the whole thing, but as soon as Jake was done, her jaw dropped and she hugged him. "This is going to shoot our video into all new proportions!"
"That was... really good," Victor admitted, shocked. Jake just flashed him a smile.
Wata was well into filming as well. They had somehow managed to build a car out of the props from the prop truck and CeCe was sitting in it with Brian, who was her Ken. "You can touch, you can play, if you say I'm always yours!" she lip-synced.
"Ain't that the truth," Trish muttered under her breath.
They made their way through the chorus, getting the last of the footage they needed. "Okay," Brian quickly said, crawling out of the car, "now we can get to work on editing the background in."
CeCe walked over to Chris, who was relaxing on the beach. "Hey, Chris?"
"What do you want?" he asked. "And move, will you? You're blocking the sun! You'll mess up my tan!"
"Sorry," she responded, moving. "Um, we were just wondering if we could borrow a computer to edit our music video?"
"No computers," Chris explained.
Melody turned to Brian. "Nice plan."
"Uh... I can fix this," Brian answered. "Give me a second to think."
Brian (CONF): I was in a really bad position! I just had to sit there and try to come up with a way to put in a gigantic set without the use of a computer. And then... it hit me.
"Got it!" Brian jumped up. "Trish, let me see the camera for a second."
"You better have a plan," Trish told him. "I mean -- Wow, Brian, you must have a plan! Good job!"
Diamond and Melody shared a weirded out look.
"Here!" Brian finished what he was doing and showed everyone. He started playing the video.
After about a minute, Melody cut in, "Should... I just say it?"
"Brian, honey," Diamond started, "this video is just a close-up of CeCe's face lip syncing."
"I know!" Brian said. "Listen, it solves our problem -- no one can see that there's nothing in the background -- plus it has artsy value. It's just like Kinge's video for Basketball Court."
"THAT'S your genius idea?" Jaime asked.
"I love it!" CeCe and Trish both said at the same time. They both reacted disgusted for a second and then returned to their faux happy demeanor.
CeCe and Trish (CONF): (not in one confessional together, but in a split screen) There is something seriously weird going on with her.
About an hour later, both teams gathered around the campfire to watch the videos. Chris stood in front of them. "Okay, it's judging time! Fiyah, you're up first."
"Okay!" Mikayla jumped up. "Our video was for Dark Horse by Katy Perry. But for our video, let's just call it Dark Horse - Mikalya feat. Juicy Jake." She winked and put the video in.
Dark, filtered shots of the forest looking hellish infused with various shots of Mikayla's silhouette walking on a path.
I knew you were, you were gonna come to me
Mikayla is dressed up as a Witch Queen, the shot is just changing from a close-up to a body shot while she mouths the lyrics.
And here you are, but you better choose carefully
She raises her arms and we zoom out to see Daniel and James dressed up as angry demons by either side of her.
Cause I, am capable of anything, of anything, and everything
To emphasize the point, she uses her witch powers to create a boxing ring out of forest materials (sticks, leaves, branches, etc.) and puts Daniel and James inside it.
Make me your aphrodite, make me your one and only
Mikayla acts as one of the "boxing girls" and walks up holding a sign that says "ROUND 1".
But don't, make me your enemy, your enemy, your enemy
Mikayla gives a final warning to the boys before stepping out of the ring.
So you wanna play with magic? Boy, you should know what you're falling for. Baby, do you dare to do this? 'Cause I'm coming at you like a dark horse.
The boys fight in the ring and Mikayla enjoys watching them fight over her, laughing and cheering along.
Are you ready for, ready for... a perfect storm, perfect storm? 'Cause once you're mine, once you're mine...
They fight a little more until James comes out victorious.
There's no going back
Mikayla holds his hand up in victory, but clearly isn't satisfied yet.
Mikayla suddenly gets an idea. Ridding the forest floor of the rink, she picks Daniel back up and then calls into the forest. More demons (the rest of the team) appear.
Mark my words, this love will make you levitate
She presents James to the crowd, and they ooh and ahh a bit.
Like a bird, like a bird without its cage
She does the same with Daniel, and the crowd seems a bit more impressed when Daniel summons fire in his hand.
But down to Earth, if you choose to walk away, don't walk away
Mikayla has her demons vote between Daniel and James and they pick Daniel. Now she has a tie -- James won the fight but Daniel won the vote.
It's in the palm of your hand now baby, it's a yes or a no, no maybe
Mikayla needs some time to think. She returns to her dark palace.
So just be sure, before you give it all to me, all to me, give it all to me
She paces back and forth, thinking. How can she decide who to pick?
So you wanna play with magic? Boy, you should know what you're falling for. Baby, do you dare to do this? 'Cause I'm coming at you like a dark horse.
She returns outside to make a proclamation of who her lover is, though she is still dissatisfied.
Are you ready for, ready for... a perfect storm, perfect storm? 'Cause once you're mine, once you're mine...
Suddenly, in the crowd, she sees Jake standing. Immediately stricken, she runs down to greet him and they run off into the forest.
There's no going back
She informs Jake of the consequences, but he's still in it.
Jake (opera): She's a beast, I call her karma. She eat your heart out, like Jeffrey Dahmer. Be careful, try not to lead her on, shawty's heart be on steroids 'cause her love is so strong. You might fall in love when you meet her, if you get the chance you better keep her, she sweet as pie but if you break her heart she turn cold as a freezer. That fairy tale ending with a knight in shining armor, she gon' be my sleeping beauty I'mma put her in a coma. Damn I think I love her, shawty's so bad, I'm sprung and I don't care, she ride me like a rollercoaster, turn the bedroom into a fair. This love is like a drug, I was tryna hit it and quit it, but lil mama's so dope I messed around and got addicted.
Through the whole rap verse, it shows the scene filmed earlier of Jake and Mikayla in the small clearing adoring each other with cut-ins of other escapades they engaged in through the forest (including a picnic of meat Jake caught from the forest, a shot of the two making out, and one where they are just looking into each other's eyes)
So you wanna play with magic? Boy you should know what you're falling for.
Mikayla returns to the crowd in a wedding dress, holding her bad boy lover proudly by her side.
Baby do you dare to do this? 'Cause I'm coming at you like a dark horse.
The crowd gasps -- they've never seen this man before. But Mikayla is more happy than ever.
Are you ready for, ready for... a perfect storm, perfect storm?
They get married on the spot, Victor performing the ceremony. Mikayla warns him one last time about marrying her -- this love will last forever.
'Cause once you're mine, once you're mine...
The bride and groom kiss, as in "you may now kiss the bride." -- but Mikayla has ulterior motives.
There's no going back.
When they are about to kiss, Mikayla dives for his neck instead and sucks out his soul. She now owns him -- eternally.
"Well that was... scary," Chris commented. "But well put together. Good job. Wata, your video?"
"Sure! We did a video for Barbie Girl by Aqua. Enjoy," Brian introduced. He popped it in, and everyone watched the entire 3 minutes and 21 seconds of CeCe's face, close-up.
"Somehow, that was even scarier," Chris concluded, disturbed. "The only acceptable choice for a winner here is... Fiyah! Congratulations, you will not be voting someone out tomorrow! And as for Wata... I can't tell you the same. Meet me back here tomorrow night."
Fiyah cheered, and Wata grimaced. "Good going," Diamond grumbled towards Brian, annoyed. Both teams headed back to camp for the night.
The next day, Wata had to deal with the weight of losing and going to the elimination ceremony. Mood at camp was down like always.
Melody (CONF): You know, the obvious choice is to vote out Brian. He totally screwed up in everything yesterday. But for some reason, I just can't shake this feeling that it's going to be me... probably just some paranoia that everyone gets, but I don't know...
"Is it going to be me tonight?" Brian asked Trish, as the two were down by the ocean cleaning up.
"Um, well, you screwed up in just about everything yesterday and the two of us are on the outs," Trish answered. "So no, I'm pretty sure Adonis is going, Brian."
"Ugh," Brian moaned. "This is bad, this is really bad."
"I mean, you could come up with some genius plan to pull others in with us but if not, you're hosed," Trish told him. "And don't feel sorry for me because I don't feel sorry for you."
Brian (CONF): Right about now, you're probably wondering why I didn't just slap bit-- I mean, Trish? Well, the answer is that when you see her talking to me, that's actually her being nice. She can be really, really nasty to people she doesn't like. Also, she's my one vote at the moment, so...
Melody was sitting by herself in the shelter, looking out into the ocean, somewhat depressed. Diamond walked up to her. "What are you doing?"
"Huh?" Melody was zoning out, but came back. "Oh, nothing, just... thinking."
Diamond took a seat next to her. "Okay, girl talk time. What's up?"
"I'm just... still a little shaken from yesterday, I guess," Melody explained.
"What, you don't like losing?" Diamond asked.
"No, it's not that... it's just that when CeCe stepped up to be the singer and everyone supported her and not me, it really got to me, I guess."
"You're still worried about that? Sweetie, nobody's against you-- we just chose her for that one thing."
"You don't understand. Like, Diamond, here's the thing... singing is ALL I have. Without it, I am nothing. I'm not good at anything and people don't really like me, okay? So the only time I'm really at home and the only time people look up to me with a smile instead of a glare is when I'm on stage, belting out the last note of some challenging song. When that's gone..."
"You're just being dramatic, Melody. C'mon, we have a vote to talk about."
Melody (CONF): Teaches me to open up to people, right? Ugh, it's just... this is actually a really personal thing for me and suddenly I'm treating everyone like freakin' Dr. Phil but nobody gets me and they wave my problems off like yesterday's lunch. Rice, if you were wondering. Ugh, it's just... (starts to tear up) God, why am I crying so much?! This is horrible! Ugh! (storms off)
CeCe noticed Melody walking out of her confessional, but she was the only one on the beach near where Melody was.
CeCe (CONF): So here's the thing: I don't like Melody. At all. Everyone thinks I love everyone of course, but reality check, I don't. Unfortunately, if anything, she should have been gunning for ME after I jacked her singing position -- until I got just what I needed.
Trish and Brian were still by the beach when CeCe started walking over to them.
"Here it comes," Trish muttered.
"Hey guys!" CeCe called out. "Just wanted to see how you two were doing."
"Good," Brian answered. "You?"
CeCe smiled. "I'm doing great, thanks!" At that moment, Melody was making her way back to the shelter, still upset and pouting a bit. "Ugh," CeCe continued, "Melody has really been bringing my mood down lately... the whole camp, I think. I'm going to go see if I can cheer her up."
Brian and Trish shared a look while CeCe walked over to Melody. "I think we just found our crack," Brian said, grinning.
Later that night, the team went to the elimination ceremony where Chris was waiting. "Welcome back, losers," he called out. "Take your seats."
Wata all did as they were told, and then Chris began to ask them a few questions. "Well, I'm hoping this will be the first normal ceremony. You freakshows messed up the last two. So, first, can I ask the whole team: Who EDITED that thing?"
People laughed and pointed to Brian, who shrunk in his seat. Chris asked, "Is there any hope you're NOT going tonight?"
"I'd like to think so," Brian answered, remaining calm and collected. "I mean, I'm not going out of here without kicking and screaming."
"If you want to kick or scream, now's your shot," Chris told him.
"I've already done it, thanks," Brian laughed.
"Okay. Next question for Melody. You're obviously the singer. That's your thing. What made it so CeCe could take the job?" Chris asked.
"Can we... not talk about this?" Melody asked back, not crying but not happy either.
CeCe whispered to Brian and Trish, "There she goes again..."
"Okay, what about the same question to CeCe?"
"Oh!" CeCe perked up. "I wasn't trying to take anything away from anyone. I just offered to sing and the team liked it. No big deal!"
"No big deal," Melody muttered.
"And with that, it's time to vote," Chris said. "You all know the drill. Let's go."
As before, everyone went up to the urn and took their vote. When they had finished, Chris brought them back up and proceeded to read the votes. "Alright. The person who recieves the most votes will have to leave the island immediately. Down there is the Dock of Shame, followed by the Boat of Losers. You must take the shameful walk down there and board the Boat of Losers, where you will be driven home. I'll read the votes."
Nobody in the crowd really looked nervous.
"First vote... Melody."
"Second vote... Brian."
Still, everybody looked pretty smug. There was nobody that thought they were going home.
"Third vote... Melody."
"Fourth vote... Melody. That's 3 votes Melody, 1 vote Brian, 3 votes left."
Melody started looking around, shaken.
"Fifth vote... Brian. 3 votes Melody, 2 votes Brian."
"Sixth vote... Brian. 3 votes Melody, 3 votes Brian, 1 vote left."
Brian looked scared, too, but Trish tried to calm him down. Meanwhile, Melody was all alone.
"Seventh vote and 3rd person voted out of Total Drama Jamaica...
... Melody. Time for you to go."
Melody considered saying something, but instead licked her lips and stood up. "Fine," she said. Walking with dignity, her head held high, and not more than a few tears in her eyes, Melody walked out of the game.
"That's it?" Chris yelled after her. "C'mon, you were one of our DRAMA people!" Melody kept going. "Pffft, boring. Wata, you can head back to camp."
Wata left the elimination ceremony, 4 people happy and 2 people not.
"And with that, another elimination ceremony down the drain! CeCe may have told us that she truly was smart before, but with this boot she certainly proved it. Over at Fiyah, James is still in trouble, but if we know James he still has a few tricks up his sleeve. What will come of this divided elimination? How long can CeCe keep her trick up? And by God, when will half this cast stop playing NICE?! Find out all this and more, next time on Total... Drama... Jamaica!"
Adonis (for Brian): Try not to make a horror movie out of a Barbie song next time.
Brian (for Melody): Sorry, it really is you or me tonight.
CeCe (for Melody): Um, so, yes... I know why you're upset. Sorry. But in this whole thing, you're just the next stepping stone and after tonight, I just proved my power. Bye.
Diamond (for Brian): Screw-up.
Jaime (for Melody): (shudders) Apparently for... "strategy" I have to vote out of alphabetical order. My vote would NORMALLY go to CeCe tonight, but I've been directed otherwise.
Melody (for Brian): I should be voting for CeCe but I'm letting go of that anger. That's... not how I'm feeling right now. Brian, I'm voting for you because you totally messed up the challenge.
Trish (for Melody): If this works, one bad b**ch gone and one good b**ch stays, so...
Episode Four: Oh, Young Love
"Last time on Total Drama Jamaica," Chris began, standing on the dock in front of the island. "The contestants got to live their childhood dream of being a bubblegum pop star! Well, some of them, anyway -- Trish may have dreamed of being Marilyn Manson but we're not all as creepy as her. Melody didn't get the singing gig on her team, though, which set off the waterworks. She opened up to Diana, who's on the OTHER team, and got herself sorted out. Victor was a total scumbag to his team, but he got the job done. Meanwhile, Trish WASN'T a total scumbag to her team. Weird. And in the end, Wata took a hard loss that should've totally been Brian's fault until CeCe started playing with fire and winning... again. Melody went home, against all odds. What will happen this time? Find out right here, right now, on Total! Drama! Jamaica!"
Wata made their way back to their camp after the elimination ceremony.
Trish (CONF): That tribal was a great play by me and Brian! We basically were able to convince Jaime and CeCe that Melody was too mopey to stay and to vote her off.
Brian (CONF): Score for me and Trish! Now all we have to do is keep winning immunities, or pulling GENIUS moves like yesterday and we can make it to the very end! It's like the road is paved for us already.
CeCe (CONF): Okay, seriously, #CeCeMazing! That's C-E-C-E-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Get it trending! After I pulled all the strings yesterday, Melody went home -- yay for me! -- and Trish and Brian are now super confident, thinking it was all their idea. Seriously, I doubt Trish has ever been this happy with herself in her life. Not to blame her, though, she probably hasn't really gotten out of the house and done... anything before.
"Nice!" Brian whispered to Trish while the others were going down to sleep.
"We're so running this (bleep)," Trish commented excitedly.
"Okay, we HAVE to win the next immunity though," Brian told her.
"I know, I know, but let's just have this moment right now," Trish said, hugging Brian.
Trish (CONF): ... What? I didn't hug anybody.
The happy duo went to sleep, as did the rest of Wata. The next morning, they all woke up from the sound of birds chirping extremely loudly in the forest.
"The hell?" Diamond groggily uttered.
"I'll go check it out," Adonis announced, hopping out of bed.
"I'll go too!" Diamond remarked, suddenly perking up. Adonis sighed and went on.
Adonis (CONF): I figured, as long as she was with me, I may as well try to figure out the logistics of last night's vote. Melody wasn't supposed to go, but she did, meaning suddenly I'm in the minority. That's not good.
"So who did you vote for?" Adonis asked. "Last night?"
"Brian," Diamond answered without hesitation. "You?"
"Brian," Adonis replied. "So only one other person voted for him..."
"God, what's the point of not telling us, anyway?" Diamond wondered, rolling her eyes. "It's not like we would have saved Melody -- nobody really liked her."
"Yeah, it's weird," Adonis affirmed. They stepped into a clearing, finding the source of the noise. Both of their eyes widened and they gasped.
At Fiyah, the same noises were inflicting the camp. "What is that?" James asked.
"Judging by the noise? Birds," Jake answered. "Loud, obnoxious, stupid, mannerless, birds."
Jake (CONF): We just woke up in the morning... and suddenly there are these freaking BIRD noises everywhere. I've always hated birds. Ever since I was, like... 7 and my brother got a pet mynah bird. He taught it to say, "Jake is a buttwipe," and it NEVER SHUT UP. You know how sometimes when you listen to something loud and then there's silence, you get ringing in your ears? Yeah, well instead of ringing I hear that stupid bird talking. Always.
"Think someone should see what's going on?" James offered.
"I will!" Wista offered.
"Then I shall, too," James nodded. Wista looked uncomfortable but didn't protest.
Daniel (CONF): I wasn't... off-ffended by James going off with W-Wista-- I mean, I didn't like it, b-but... look, we aren't d-d-dating. Or anything. (swallows)
"C'mon, no use standing here," James urged Wista.
"Let us go, then," Wista affirmed. They walked off into the forest.
"Weird pair," Victor commented.
"I think they're nice," Diana put in. Daniel shifted where he was seated on their shelter.
"Really? Bond and Alien together?" Victor asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Opposites, you know?" Diana answered. "It's cute."
"Except they're not opposites," Mikayla added. "More like totally different categories."
"OKAY," Daniel interrupted, raising his voice. Everyone looked at him and he blushed, growing red. "Exc-cuse me, I'll... g-get some firewood." He scurried off.
"Oh, young love," Jake mocked, folding his hands together romantically and fluttering his eyelashes, prompting a laugh from Mikayla, Diana, and Victor.
3 hours later, at both camps, the noises were continuing but nobody had heard from either team that had left. At Wata, Brian was starting to become worried.
"Do you guys think we should send a search party after them?" Brian asked. CeCe was playing with her hair sitting in one corner of the shelter happily while Trish was chewing on a plant root in the other corner unhappily.
"Um, no," Trish replied. "If they're not back yet, they're probably dead and if we don't want to die then we'll stay here. Where else would they be?"
"Lost?" Brian suggested.
"Really? But Adonis is too smart! He'd never get lost!" Trish mocked.
"Yeah! Adonis is super smart!" CeCe chimed in.
"Where the hell is Jaime?" Brian asked. The two girls shrugged.
"Alphabetizing grains of sand?" Trish offered. Brian sighed.
Brian (CONF): Ever tried to play a million dollar game with a snarky goth and a dumb blonde? Not fun.
Brian walked away from the girls to attempt to find Jaime. Searching first the nearby forests and then the beach, he found Jaime hunched over, drawing something in the sand with a stick.
"Jaime!" Brian called out. "Where have you been, bro?"
Jaime dropped his stick in shock and quickly stood up. "Nowhere!" he panicked. "I mean, everywhere-- around. Places. Here."
"What are you drawing?" Brian laughed.
"Pffft, I'm not drawing," Jaime said, trying to wipe it away in the sand with his foot (but completely missing, hitting the spots next to and around it in the process).
"Umm," Brian said. "Look, I'm not gonna care, you can share anything with me."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm not hiding anything," Jaime fibbed unconvincingly. He tried to swipe at his drawing again and this time fell over, leaving it in plain sight.
Brian looked over to find the following:
Elimination Order!!! My Plan...
Brian took a deep sigh and looked at Jaime, who looked horrified. "Jaime, your plan is literally to have us place in alphabetical order."
Jaime wailed, "My game is ruined!"
Brian (CONF): ... and OCD won't be any help.
Brian reluctantly made his way back to camp.
When both teams showed up to the challenge, they were still missing Adonis & Diamond and James & Wista, respectively. The birds' chirping had grown louder and harder to think. Chris walked out to meet them, looking extremely annoyed.
"Okay!" he called out, yelling above the noise. "We had a challenge planned, but I can't think over these birds, so new task: Whoever can FIX THIS FIRST wins for their team!"
The cast stood there for a second, not sure what to do. "Where the HECK are Pearl, Jim, Donny, and Wilma? You know what, never mind, just go!"
"Alright!" Mikayla started, standing in front of the rest of her team and Wata. "I propose we try and find the source of the noise together! Then, once we figure out what's causing it, we break for a race to see who can fix it first. Sound good?"
"You kids have a good time, alright?" Trish said in her faux nice voice. "Brian, come on." She grabbed him and dragged him towards the forest.
"Ah! Meet up with you guys later!" Brian said to Wata.
"... Okay! The rest of us," Mikayla announced, smiling. She started walking in a different direction of the forest than Trish and Brian had gone, taking the rest of the cast with her.
Hours had passed and both groups found themselves deep in the forest, with still no discernible source of the noise. "Ugh," Victor whined, "I'm so hungry... anybody see a wild deer or something bloody?"
"I don't think there are deer here," Diana said. "Also, blood? What?"
"Vampire, remember?" Victor sighed.
"If you're gonna play a role, you have to stick to it when we're at camp, too," Mikayla giggled. Victor glared at her.
Victor (CONF): You know, I'm really starting to feel like people don't take me seriously around here.
"Is it just me or does the sound keep getting louder?" CeCe asked, worried.
"Yeah, Blondie's right," Jake confirmed. "I'm really losing my ability to think."
"As if you had it in the first place," Diana joked. Jake rolled his eyes.
"Okay, I think it's coming from... that way!" Mikayla announced, pointing off in a random direction. "Onwards!"
The group started to walk, but Daniel ran to the front of the group next to Mikayla. "Um... c-can we... talk for a moment?" Daniel asked, nervously.
"Yeah, what's up?" Mikayla asked.
"You know about m-my little... urges?" Daniel continued. Mikayla noticed he looked sweaty and nervous.
"Mhm," Mikayla answered, unsure of where this was going.
"Well... Wista being around would always... c-calm them down a bit, but since she left earlier, th-they're starting to c-c-come back," Daniel told.
"Oh," Mikayla answered, surprised. "Well... even so, it's not like you have anything to light stuff on fire with, right?"
"Well, no..." Daniel answered.
Daniel (CONF): (fiddling with his lighter in his hand) I k-kept this from the first day... but if I showed it to M-Mikayla, what if she took it away? I need it... just in case...
"Then just try to stay calm until we find Wista and everyone else. I'm sure they're fine and you can't do any damage, so don't worry about it," Mikayla told him, smiling.
"Right..." Daniel said.
Elsewhere, Brian and Trish were too looking for the source of all the noise. The brush where they were was thicker, so they were struggling to climb over branches and such while bickering about something pointless as they always did when Trish was around.
"Okay, look, the (bleep)ing Japanese dude did NOT kill Lividmanda," Trish argued, trying to cut through a particularly large root.
"I'm not saying he did, just that he was INVOLVED," Brian said. "I mean, the evidence is all there and, c'mon, you know that was him in the tape."
"No, that's stupid! Crazy Freedom totally did it," Trish said, chopping away with her knife.
"He was in the room of the murder, that's how he knew she got stabbed," Brian said with frustration. "What don't you understand?"
As he finished his sentence, Trish made her way through the root, and they both stepped over, finding themselves in a small clearing. Looking across, Brian asked, "Is that... Diamond and Adonis?"
"Uh, yeah," Trish answered, confused. "Let's... go get them, I guess."
Meanwhile, the other group was still having little luck.
"Everyone, USE your ears!" Mikayla called out, trying to lead them. "Where is that noise coming from?"
Diana, Jake, Jaime, and Victor all concentrated, pointing in the direction they thought it was coming from -- of course, all pointing in 4 different directions.
"Ugh!" Mikayla grunted.
CeCe (CONF): Wow, are people idiots. This whole time I just want to call out the noise is reverberating from around the island but its origin is CLEARLY more west than anything else. It really, really takes a lot to keep my mouth shut sometimes.
"We could scan the island using my strategy from challenge number one," Jaime suggested. "Go through the directions in alphabetical order -- East, North, South, then West."
"Well, that's the best and only idea I've heard all day," Mikayla told him. "All in favor?" She got 7 reluctant "aye"s. "North first it is," Mikayla said.
"Jaime!" CeCe called out, running up to him. "That was really smart of you."
"Thank you, miss," Jaime said. "My methods aren't usually appreciated."
"Yeah, if everybody listened to you all the time I think this world would be a lot happier," CeCe said, flipping her hair and smiling dumbly.
"You think I could rule the world, starting with Africa and moving through to South America?" Jaime asked in awe.
"Um... I think if you did, you'd make a totally cool leader," CeCe answered. "I mean, I'd want to be led by you."
Jaime, his ego newly inflated, puffed out his chest and smiled. "I'll use my million to start working on that." Suddenly remembering his plan that he had made earlier and the fact that Adonis was supposed to win leaving him at 7th, Jaime suddenly deflated again. "Darn! The plan..."
"What plan?" CeCe asked.
"Oh, nothing," Jaime said, blowing it off.
"Okay..." CeCe responded.
CeCe (CONF): I didn't even know he could make plans.
"Wait, guys, listen," Mikayla said to the group. They all grew silent for about a minute, opening their ears.
Breaking the quiet, Jake said, "... I hear birds."
"No, I heard something else! C'mon!" Mikayla said. At that moment, it came again -- a very faint call for help.
"I can tell where THAT one's coming from," Victor said.
"Me too," Diana added. "Let's go."
They started making their way in the direction of it.
"Wouldn't this b-be easier if I c-could just burn down all the trees... so we could see?" Daniel muttered. He looked at the lighter in his pocket with tempt, but decided against it, fiddling instead with his thumbs and sweating.
The group found themselves in the clearing that Brian and Trish had gone into, now joined by Adonis and Diamond. CeCe and Jaime waved to their teammates, while Mikayla ran up to the foursome.
"What's wrong?" she asked. "We heard your call for help."
"Nothing's wrong," Adonis explained. "But we're gonna need all of us to fix this..."
"Where's Wista?" Daniel asked.
"And James," Diana corrected.
"Right," Daniel said.
"What do we need to do?" Jake asked.
"Okay, about half a mile from here there's a gigantic bird nest. I mean, gigantic -- we're talking the size of this whole clearing, but a huge bird nest. I don't know what kind of mutated monster made it but there's about a million baby chicks in it and it looks like Mama's on vacation, because they're all hungry," Adonis expained. Diamond nodded.
"So what do we do about it?" asked Victor.
"Rumor has it the island across the way has some birds that are dying to be mothers again... we just float this huge nest over to them and they'll be happy again!" Diamond said.
"Is that a real rumor?" Jake asked skeptically.
"Okay, no, but it could be true," Diamond answered. "The challenge is to get rid of the noise, not nurture baby birds."
"Good enough for me," Jake said. "As long as I don't have to touch them."
"Why?" Mikayla asked.
"Um, no reason," Jake said.
"WHERE are Wista and James?!" Daniel asked again.
"We never saw them," Adonis answered. "Did they leave your camp?"
"Yes, early this morning," Daniel said. "Th-they've been g-gone since..."
"Sorry, we don't know," Adonis said.
Daniel mumbled something to himself, fiddling still with the lighter in his pocket.
"How are we going to do this?" asked Jaime. "I mean, who's going to do what?"
"Okay, right," Adonis started, "so we're going to be in trios on all sides of this thing, so that we can properly grab it and get it to the ocean. Mikayla, CeCe, Daniel, you guys can go to the other side of the nest and get it from there. Diana, Jake, and Jaime, you guys go about 60 degrees East of them and grab the nest there, and Victor, Trish, and Brian, you guys can take it from this side. Diamond and I will direct the whole thing. Ready? Break!"
Everyone set out in their respective directions. Mikayla, CeCe, and Daniel had the farthest to go, so they quickened their pace, trying to arrive at the same time as everyone else. Daniel was still sweating and suffering overall normal withdrawl symptoms.
Mikayla (CONF): It's sort of weird that Daniel was being like this. I mean, he was acting like a drug addict suddenly off drugs (buy ZoZac, the nicotine patch that truly works, today!), but really the only thing that's changed is that Wista left. I mean, it had me wondering -- was he worried about her, is this how he would normally act if she wasn't around, or is he actually suffering withdrawl... from her?
"How are you holding up?" Mikayla asked Daniel, concerned for him. He averted his eyes.
"Fine," he answered. "A b-bit worse... I suppose..."
"We'll find her soon," Mikayla affirmed, hugging Daniel while they walked. "I promise."
"I'm s-starting to wonder ab-bout that..." Daniel trailed.
"Why? There's no reason that, even if she is lost, Chris and his crew won't be able to find her," Mikayla said.
"You poor thing," CeCe sympathized. "I don't even know what I would do if this happened to me!"
CeCe (CONF): I really don't know or care what the deal is with Daniel and Wista, but nice points never hurt, so I might as well say something...
"Yeah, it's been tough on him," Mikayla nodded, answering for Daniel.
"I'm n-not a mental patient," Daniel fought. "I can answer m-my own q-q-questions."
"Oh, sorry," Mikayla apologized. "I just... yeah, sorry."
"You what?" Daniel questioned angrily. "You th-think I'm going crazy? You f-feel bad for me? Guess what, Mikayla. M-maybe I don't want your sympathy. 'Oh, b-but Daniel, I'm j-just trying to help!' I might have had a little, no, a b-big problem before I c-came out here, but I am trying to fix it and Wista was one of my m-main motivations for that. You c-can't understand and you never will! You can't just say 'Oh, D-daniel, but Chris will find her!' You d-don't understand how worried out of my m-mind I am every waking second that n-nobody has seen her. M-maybe I don't want your sympathy, m-maybe I want your HELP. Did you ever ask yourself, 'Why d-don't I offer to help Daniel find Wista?' No, you d-didn't, because you m-might be a nice person, but that does not mean you understand what is going on in our heads all th-the time! Now, I'm done with this ch-challenge, I'm g-going to go find Wista. You can come or not."
Mikayla and CeCe were speechless. "Of course I'll help you," Mikayla said. "And you're totally right, I'm so sorry... I have no idea what you're going through."
"Don't you think one of us should do the challenge?" CeCe said. "I'll go ahead and do the nest, plus that way I can tell everyone where you guys went."
"Thank you, CeCe," Mikayla said, smiling. "We should go."
"Bye!" CeCe exclaimed. Mikayla and Daniel walked the other way into the forest.
Elsewhere, Trish, Brian, and Victor were making their way to their side of the nest.
Trish (CONF): I mean, Brian and I had sort of talked about a cross-team alliance with someone so we wouldn't be TOTALLY screwed if the merge came, but we didn't really know who. Believe me, Victor would NOT be my first choice, but we have matching skin tones! Plus, we were with him during the challenge, so it worked out that way.
"Victor," Trish began. "We have something we would like to ask you."
"Well, I'm not not a vampire," Victor said.
"Uh... not that," Trish said. "Okay, there's no way I'll be able to do this. Brian?"
"What do you think of a game-changing move?" Brian asked.
"I'm listening," Victor answered. "We're on different teams though?"
"I know," Brian said. "That's the game changing part. If you, me, and Trish start an alliance -- a CROSS-TEAM alliance -- we can get together at the merge and rule the game and nobody will see it coming. Pretty cool, right?"
Victor (CONF): It's not the WORST scramble I've heard...
"Wow, you totally caught me off-guard," Victor said. "Um... I mean, sure. This will totally surprise everyone."
"That's right," Brian said. "Do you think there's someone else from your team that you could get in on it?"
"I think the only person who isn't somehow paired up with someone is Jake... so, nobody really likes him that much, but I could ask."
"That would be awesome," Brian said, smiling. "But if you think he won't go for it, don't ask him... we don't want to expose this too early. Why don't you just ask him to be with you, and then at merge tell him the rest?"
"Okay," Victor answered.
Victor (CONF): Really, it's not a bad opportunity, but I just can't say yet if I want to take them up on it. It's a tough thing for me to really commit to right now. Everyone who could arrive, arrived at the next. They were all shocked by the size of it and the sheer amount of birds chirping.
"Okay, on 3, we're all gonna push this thing!" Adonis and Diamond called out, holding a makeshift bullhorn from sticks and leaves, held together with sap. "1... 2... 3!" Everyone together pushed it in the direction of the ocean. Of course, with the birds all being small chicks and the nest not being made of heavy materials, for its size it moved fairly easily. They didn't have far to push it, so it wasn't long until the nest reached the water. And, after a bit, it did. The nest sailed out to sea like its own little boat, and with it went all the noisy birds chirping.
"Woo! Good job, everyone!" Diamond exclaimed. They all cheered. Chris walked out of the forest, too, coming to greet them.
"Okay, THANK you guys. I was gonna have to call exterminators or something. Anyway, this IS a challenge, so there needs to be a winner -- even though all of you got rid of that noise, there are 2 people that made it all happen -- Adonis and Diamond! Congratulations Wata, you have won... wait."
"What?" Adonis asked.
"Where in the world are Wista, James, Daniel, and Mikayla? Jake and Victor, you guys are literally the only ones from your team left," Chris said.
"Mikayla and Daniel went looking after the other 2," CeCe informed the group. "Daniel was a little bit..." she made the "cuckoo" gesture and laughed.
"Are you serious?" Chris asked. "New challenge: find those 4 and bring them back!"
"Help!" Wista's voice yelled, catching the attention of everyone. It came from the clearing they were just at where the nest had been. The rest of the cast rushed to her voice, charging into the meadow in a group. There, they found Wista, James, Daniel, Mikayla, and a gigantic bird.
"Wista!" Victor called out. "James! Guys!"
"This is Danny," Wista calmly told them. "You all just took his children away."
Everyone looked at Adonis and Diamond. "Oops," Adonis said.
"Where did you send it?" Wista asked.
"Out to sea," Adonis said. "I mean... we just took it out and then put it on the ocean."
"Okay," Wista calmly said. She turned to face the bird, who was clearly angry and used its huge wings to knock over a tree. Wista spoke in clucks and tongue sounds to talk to the bird and tell it what she had just learned.
"Weird girl, bro," Jake leaned over and whispered to Daniel. Daniel gave him a weird look back.
"Show me where," Wista said to Adonis. He led her out to the beach, where Wista saw the nest. The bird had followed and Wista excitedly spoke to it again. The bird flew out to meet its nest and take care of his children. "Let's go back," Wista said to Adonis.
When they arrived back, Wista explained that she had found the poor large bird injured in the forest with James and she had helped nurse it back to help, feeding it special quick-acting remedies she knew. While everyone had been searching for the nest and eventually taking it out to sea, she had bonded with the bird and learned that it was mutated as a result of a toxic island in Canada and eventually migrated to Jamaica over time. At this, Chris gave a nervous laugh. She said that it just wanted to be with all of its children, who hadn't been fed in days because Danny had been injured. Now, he would be happy because he could feed his children (he took worms with him) and be with them again.
"Okay!" Chris started, going back into host mode. "Well, like I was saying before, this IS a challenge. Diamond and Adonis, you have won the challenge for Wata!"
The duo cheered and high-fived each other.
"What the hell, man?" Jake asked. "Wista was the reason that bird didn't kill all of us."
"Yeah, WE deserve the win," Victor whined.
"For her," Daniel added, smiling.
"Nope, the challenge was to get rid of the noise and Adonis and Diamond did just that," Chris explained. Fiyah began to complain and whine. "Okay! Compromise... Wata goes home with tribal immunity, but Wista can get individual immunity on Fiyah. She's not going home tonight. Happy?" They grumbled more, but seemed more pleased with this solution.
"Alright," Chris continued, "Elimination ceremony tonight! Fiyah, you guys sucked again." He laughed and walked back into the forest.
At Wata's camp after the challenge, James, Wista, and Daniel decided to talk. "So, who do you think needs to go tonight?" James asked.
"Victor hasn't b-been helpful in challenges," Daniel mentioned. He was happier now, smiling more, since he had seen Wista again. He had stopped showing the signs of detox present earlier, in the challenge.
"Victor, then?" James asked them.
"Yes," Wista said, not really paying attention to the strategy and instead to Daniel.
"... Good," James nodded, walking away.
James (CONF): Daniel and Wista spending time apart make them more attached now... my next operation will be to split them up, I suppose.
Meanwhile, the rest of the team was chilling in the shelter. They were laughing and talking casually. The weather was nice like a mellow Summer evening, around 70 degrees and not too humid or dry. It was the kind of weather one would expect when they think of Jamaica.
"Okay," Jake said, sitting up for a moment. "I don't mean to, like, kill the vibe, but real quick, can we agree on one thing?"
"What?" Diana asked.
"Vote. Out. James," Jake said.
"Oh my God, definitely," Mikayla answered quickly, causing everyone to laugh again.
"Okay, good," Jake smiled, leaning back down in the shelter and continuing hang-out time.
The team went to the elimination that night, ready to vote someone out. "Alright!" Chris announced. "Today, another one of you suckers is gonna leave! The question is, who? Anybody think they're going tonight?" Nobody raised their hands. "Well, I know it's not Wista. Jake?"
"If I go, there's gonna be hell to pay when these kids get back home," Jake joked.
"Daniel?" He shook his head.
"Diana?" She shrugged, but in a nonchalant way that told Chris she knew she wasn't going.
"James?" James' smug smirk never left his face as he shook his head no.
"Mikayla?" "I hope not!"
"And Victor?" He shook his head.
"... Alright. A very confident group of people here tonight. Let's get onto the vote."
As before, everyone went up to the urn and took their vote. When they had finished, Chris brought them back up and proceeded to read the votes. "Alright. The person who recieves the most votes will have to leave the island immediately. Down there is the Dock of Shame, followed by the Boat of Losers. You must take the shameful walk down there and board the Boat of Losers, where you will be driven home. I'll read the votes."
"First vote... Victor."
"Second vote... Victor."
Victor and Jake both laughed smugly.
"Third vote... James."
"Fourth vote... James. That's 2 for Victor, 2 for James."
Still neither person looked the slightest bit unsettled.
"Fifth vote... James. 3 for James, 2 for Victor."
James cocked his head, confused.
"Sixth vote and 4th person voted out of Total Drama Jamaica...
James. Time for you to go."
"What?!" James shot out of his chair. "You voted out your LEADER? The only person with ANY brains on this team? You will all regret this! There is no way you'll be able to annihilate the other team without my help! No! Way!"
"Alright, buddy, we have a counselor on the Boat of Losers if you need it," Chris said. "Time for you to go."
James stormed off down the Dock of Shame.
"And with that, another episode of Total Drama Jamaica comes to a close! A tiring challenge with a shocking outcome, what will happen now that Fiyah has ruthlessly taken out their self-proclaimed leader? Find out next time on Total... Drama... Jamaica!"
Daniel (for Victor): Just a routine v-vote...
Diana (for James): A girl with an IQ of 200 once said... it's the smart thing to do. (winks)
Jake (for James): Bro, you're an asshole who needs to sort some stuff out.
James (for Victor): You're not helpful in challenges and a burden around camp... it's just necessary to the plan that you go tonight. Sorry.
Mikayla (for James): Yeahhh... not such a great leader.
Victor (for James): (closes vote without saying anything and puts it into urn)
Wista (for James): So... I did not hear what you told us to vote... but unfortunately, I cannot be your little 'puppet' anymore. I think this team would be better off without you. Sorry!
NAME: This contestant is male.
NAME: This contestant is female.
WATA: This contestant was placed on the Wata Team.
FIYAH: This contestant was placed on the Fiyah Team.
WIN: This contestant won invincibility due to being on the winning team, or had individual immunity for that episode.
IN: This contestant was deemed safe during the elimination ceremony.
LOW: This contestant was one of the last to be deemed safe during the elimination ceremony.
OUT/QUIT: This contestant was voted out of, eliminated from, or voluntarily quit the competition.
Chapter One: This Is Just Like The Set of FOUND
- Mikayla's references are as follows:
- FOUND = LOST
- The Unnerved and the Ugly = The Bold and the Beautiful
- XYZ Family = ABC Family
- Thanks to CK for coming up with the challenge!