Years after Chris McLean has become irrelevant in the celebrity scene, Blainely Stacey Andrews O'Halloran decides to steal what should have rightfully been hers, and prove that she, and her glamor, will make for a better host than Chris. After finding 16 new contestants, young and old, the S.S. Drama takes off and Total Drama Odyssey begins!
Chapter 1: Anything Goes
Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran stood aboard the deck of a five foot cruise, bearing the words "TOTAL DRAMA" in red along the side. It was pristine-if it were yellow, it may have seemed to be made out of gold. However, it was white, like most cruises, and Blaineley's red dress stood out even more because of it.
"Welcome to Total Drama Odyssey!" She put one foot forward and then another, getting closer to the camera. Her dress was a bit unzipped to accentuate her newly renovated skin. It was like an elephant had given birth to a newborn that had no wrinkles. Smooth, but still gross.
"You might be wondering: where's Chris McLean? Dead. He's dead." There were some murmurs off-camera, and Blaineley groaned. "Sorry. He's dead to me is what I meant." She turned to her left and sneered at someone not in view. "Happy?" She coughed, then straightened herself to make her breasts more in focus. "The producers decided the show needed a little bit of, well… me." She flashed a grin. "Youth. Glow. Beauty. And here I am."
A seagull flew overhead and dropped some of its white cargo on Blaineley's hair, but she didn't notice. It sat there, hardening.
"Sixteen new competitors will be boarding this cruise, fighting for a chance to win one million dollars! More deranged than ever before, these contestants are sure to bring the drama! And the laughs! Always laughs. In just moments, they'll be walking up together, and once they're all aboard, we'll set sail, and their first challenge will begin!"
On cue, sixteen people arrived behind Blaineley, some normal, some freaks. Just as one girl, with bright eyes and red hair, was about to step forward to introduce herself, Blaineley spun around to greet them, and raised her hand to silence her. However, it was at an awkward angle, and one of the producers told her to lower her arm.
"Welcome, contestants, to the ride of your lives." The cruise moved from the dock, sputtered a bit, but then moved forward. "After receiving insurance for the now destroyed Pahkitew Island, Total Drama decided to rent a cruise ship to bring you all around the world. If you need to confess anything to the cameras, just take a stop at the supply closet, where we've provided a nice stool for you to sit on! Each round, we'll be stopping at a new, exotic location and you'll compete in a challenge to win immunity. If you lose, you vote someone off. Any questions?"
Three people raised their hands.
"Great. Now, this round will be a little bit different. You guys will first have to search through the entire boat to find your boarding passes, which contain your room keys. The last two to get their room key… Well, let's save that for later." Blaineley winked at the camera. "It's one of our twists. No questions? Good… now go!"
In less than a second they were all running throughout the cabins, up and down stairs, and down hallways. One maid got trampled by a group of three.
"Sorry about that!" A guy with tan, but dark, skin, no hair, and abs that poked through his green shirt ran back to help the old woman up. "My apologies."
A girl with black hair and pink highlights turned around and stopped.
"Why are you stopping?" The bald guy asked.
She walked over to him and helped him up, ignoring the old woman who had fallen as the guy shifted his attention to the raven-haired girl with tattoos. She was wearing a black shirt with a red-fishnet lined pattern and gray jeans.
Tess: I'm a big believer in karma. Help someone, and you get helped. It's part of being a good person. I can't help it. I guess I'm just a saint sent by God to cleanse the Earth. Wait, that came out wrong. I-
"I'm Ken. Uh, well, it looks like the other guy left without us, so, let's keep looking."
The two got up, walking away from the old woman, who was now pulling herself up using the maid's cart. She fell again and let out a sigh.
In the men's bathroom on the second cabin floor, a group of five people walked together. A petite yet round girl let the pack, her curly hair falling to one side of her head.
"I'm glad that we can all work together. Especially since we could all be end up being enemies." She turned around and looked at the five behind her. "Sorry, by the way. I'm Trisha."
Trisha: I'm a natural leader. Maybe I should stay back and let others take charge, but it's not something I can do. I want the best for everyone, including myself, and I just cannot guarantee that sitting in the sidelines.
A girl with olive skin and perfectly groomed hair waved back. "I'm Anita Cheung." She straightened her silk scarf and wrapped it around her neck.
Anita: Yeah, I'm rich, get used to it. But I'm not someone who doesn't know how to work hard. I speak English, Spanish, and Mandarin. Am I gonna play dumb? Like, yeah, totally, who wouldn't? But I'm not just a rich daddy's girl. I'm a rich and smart daddy's girl.
"Name's Hudson." A guy with a blue mohawk and piercings all along his body nodded his head at Trisha. "Nice to meet you guys."
Hudson: Yeah, I'm the oldest guy here by a mile. But I'm still in shape, I guess. Even after all the hard dru-I mean, after all the shirley temples. I don't know. This is a kid show, right?
"I need you guys to look me in the eyes," a girl said, turning to each and every person around her. She had golden blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and an energy around her seemed to say "star." Or at least, her shirt did. "I'm Josie Nolan. I'm important, and you need to know that. I'm here to win, but I'm also here to make friends. Biblically. If anyone is interested, let me know. Both for that and for alliances. You get the drift. I'll see you later."
Josie walked past them, busted a light open, grabbed a key, and walked away.
The last person, a Latina girl with curly, dark brown hair and a spaghetti strap pink tank top and jeans stood aghast. "Who does she think she is?"
Dani: I can't believe she did that. Estúpida. First, it's property damage. Second, she comes off looking como una bruja. Like a witch. Sorry. Just use subtitles. You're fine.
"So, I guess we'll keep going?" Trisha said. She stared at the rest of her new friends.
The camera switched views to a couple making out on a countertop in the cruise kitchen. A girl with dark skin, and her black hair in a bun, was on top of a pale guy wearing a white, now opened, button-down shirt and khakis. His brown hair was being ruffled by the girl.
"What's your name again?" The guy asked.
The girl stopped. "Oh. Well, my name's Desdemona Rose Vance. But you can call me Mona. I tried to change my middle name to Lisa, since well, I'm priceless, but my mother wouldn't let me. And you?"
They started making out again. As they continued to do so, the galley door opened and a black woman with dreads calmly walked in. She saw the couple making out, smiled, and then began to glide around the room as if they weren't there.
Yejide: I'm a big believer in auras. I can feel them, sense them, see them. So when I saw those two young lovers expressing themselves, I saw a warm pink, and knew to let them be. After all, I have my dreams, and they have theirs. For me, I wish to win. They wish to woo. All is love in life.
Yejide stared at them and began to gently sway. "Do not mind me, I'm just sensing the room."
The two teens stopped and looked back at her. First, they were shocked that she walked in on them. Second, they didn't even know who she was. Before they could ask for her name, she reached under a dinner tray and found a key.
"The waves are crashing but the sand stays strong. Remember that." Without giving them the chance to respond, Yejide exited like a ghost, unseen and not entirely missed.
Back up near the pool, two guys were swimming in the ten-foot deep waters.
"Listen, dude, I think we should bro up." A boy with an afro kept under a black hat said, his small shorts barely covering up what they were meant to. "Team up, whatever you wanna use."
"I'm down. Always down for an all-guy thing. I'm Marquis, by the way." Marquis, like Ori, was black, though his head was shaved.
"Say, haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
Ori: You may recognize me from that old show Toad-al Drama. Well, I've grown since then. Now I'm more comfortable with myself. Learned about myself, worked through a few things. I'm biracial and bisexual, so I guess I can just kiss the competition… bye. Wait! Does that mean I'm getting eliminated? No, I mean, I'm winning! Stop! Cut the cameras! I swear I'll kill you!
A girl with orange hair pulled back into two pigtail buns walked along a hallway with a small Latino guy wearing classes. He was wearing jeans and a yellow shirt while she was wearing a cowgirl hat, a green jacket, and yoga pants.
"As I was sayin', it's hard to pull the baby outta the mama, because most of the time she doesn't wanna let go. And who'd blame her, since so many babies are killed? That's how they make veal, you know. The meat industry is so terrible, but it's also what feeds my family. Hey, Devon are you listening?"
Devon blinked. "Uh, yeah."
Devon: I got the pleasure of walking through the halls with the southern belle. Morgan's her name, I think. She's fine, but I'm from New York, and I'm a gamer, so my attention span is already low enough as it is. I'm not gonna like, after she talks for about five seconds I start to drift away.
The two continued walking, Morgan droning on and on, and came across two guys in a deadlock, holding onto a single key. On one side was an average-built blonde with a beard and a bit of a beer gut underneath a green shirt and on the other was a small, Asian guy with wire-frame glasses, sporting a black shirt underneath yellow cardigan.
"Oh, hey guys. I'm Henry. Nice to meet you," the blonde man said. "Don't mind us."
"No," the other guy said. "Do mind us. Help me, won't you? I clearly have the right to this. I'm Nicholas by the way. Nicholas Wong."
Nicholas: I'm a genius. It's a fact, and it should be obvious to everyone else. And the fact that my right to this key, safety in this game, is being tested? I will not stand for it.
"Listen dude," Henry began, "I'm not gonna let go. But what if we made a deal? We both keep holding onto this key, and we go and look for another one together. We'll both be safe that way."
Nicholas eyed him down. "That's not a bad deal."
"Yeah, I know," Henry responded.
Henry: I went to business school.
"Okay," Henry said, "so let's just keep going one step at a time. Do you wanna lead?"
Nicholas nodded. Morgan and Devon watched, too in awe to say anything. Two people working together right off the bat seemed impossible to them, even though they were doing the same thing. Just as Nicholas took a step forward, Henry yanked the key from Nicholas' grasps, and bolted off. Morgan and Devon gasped, and Nicholas' jaw dropped.
Morgan: That boy was done dirty. Gosh, if I were back home… I don't let that kind of pickin' on be tolerated. But this is a game, and sometimes you gotta do things you normally wouldn't do if you wanna get farther. I guess. I'm not sure how I'm feelin' about all of that.
"Well?" Nicholas exclaimed, glaring at Morgan and Devon. "Are you going to help me or not?"
Morgan started to nod, but Devon looked at her. "Actually, we need to find our keys, too. And we were headed the other way."
"What?" Morgan and Nicholas asked in unison.
Devon: Nicholas may not be a kid, but he's going to act like one. I deal with enough kids online, and I don't want to put up with one here.
"Well, if three of us find one key… we're gonna fight over it. I don't really want that," Devon said. He pouted a little bit for good measure.
Nicholas sighed. "You're right. Well, if you decide you want to help me after I was just so clearly brutalized, feel free to find me. I'm heading to the rec room first."
As Nicholas walked away, Morgan turned to Devon. "I see what you did there. But I don't agree with it. I wanna help the little guy, Dev."
"Morgan, right now, we're the little guys, too. We don't have keys, and you heard Blaineley. The last two to find keys are in trouble. I'm trying to maximize our odds. Nicholas will take the first key and bolt with any group he's in. Trust me."
Morgan didn't respond for a few seconds, but then she looked Devon straight in the eyes and nodded. Without another word the two went off to search for the bathroom on their floor.
Back with the group of five turned four, Trisha was still leading the group, though now they were all in the ship's dining hall.
"There's bound to a couple in here," Trisha said. "So I guess we can split up and hope for the best."
The other three agreed and began to search under tables, on chairs, and all through the food carts. Finally, Anita emerged from behind the bar with a key in hand.
"Hey guys, I found a key in the vodka!" Anita waved the key in the air, brandishing it in a way that the last specks of vodka flew into the air.
"That's great, Anita!" Dani gave her a thumbs up, and then shot a look to the camera.
Dani: Is it great? No. Quien se cree que es? She's not my friend. Or at least, she's not my friend yet. And she clearly already has money, so why is she even here?
"I'm gonna go tan now! Bye guys!" Anita once again waved her key in their faces and then sauntered out of the room.
"See ya, Anita!" Trisha waved back at her, not noticing the scowl on Dani's face. Hudson noticed, though made no mention of it. Instead he just kept looking for a key.
Hudson: I'm not getting involved in this drama. I'm just too old for it. 32 hits ya hard.
In the kitchen, Isaac and Mona had finally stopped making out and were looking for keys.
"Do you wanna make out again?" Isaac asked. He leaned back onto the counter they had just gotten off of. "I'm sure we have time."
Mona: I came here looking for a boy, sure. It doesn't mean I'm going to let it get in the way of me winning, but a million dollars and a boy sounds a lot better than just a million dollars. Money can't buy you happiness, right? Or maybe it can. I haven't tried.
Mona chuckled but shook her head. "Imagine what we can do once we have a room."
That seemed to kick Isaac into full gear because he immediately began ravaging the kitchen for any sign of a key. After knocking a few plates onto the floor and shattering them, he found a key hidden in the knife drawer.
Isaac: So I'm looking to get out of the kitchen as fast as possible. Listen, back home, I get it, and Total Drama isn't gonna be any different. Who needs the Mile High Club when you can join-well, I guess there's no real club for that, huh?
"Let's go, let's go," he said, making a dash for the door.
"Nuh uh." Mona pointed at the cabinets in the far end of the room. "We're finding me a key first."
Tess and Ken stood along the railing of the ship overlooking the ocean.
"We're going to different countries, right?" Tess asked.
Ken nodded. "Yeah. I wonder where we're going first." He paused. "Well, I guess we're not gonna go anywhere without keys."
Tess's face turned red. "Oh, I guess we forgot."
Ken: Tess is just… so cool. It's weird that I'm so into her. I guess it's just the ambience of the cruise. You can't help but fall in love when you're basically on the set of the Titanic.
Tess: I didn't come in here looking for a showmance, but Ken and I just… click. He's hot, and nice, so really I don't see a downside to this.
"Okay, well let's go find keys then. That way we're both safe." Ken smiled at her and started walking off toward the shopping gallery.
Tess followed. "Do you think there'd be any in plain sight?"
"What do you mean?"
She stopped walking and crouched down next to a couple of lounge chairs. "Maybe…" Her voice trailed off as she began groping the underside of the chairs. "Here!" She excitedly pulled out a key. "Now we just need to find you one."
Ken smirked. "Yeah."
"Hey! That's ours!" A voice shouted from behind them.
They turned around to see Ori and Marquis climbing out from the pool, their bodies drenched in chlorine-tainted water.
Marquis: Ori's like my main bro out here. I play D1 college baseball, and there doesn't seem to be any other jocks out here, so I guess Ori is the next best thing. I'm competitive. He's competitive. It's like a match made in heaven. Well, not like that. I have a girlfriend back home! Love ya Bernice!
"Dudes, just give us our key." Ori held his hand out expecting a quick surrender.
"Your key?" Tess raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, we uh, put it there for safekeeping," Marquis said. Ori nodded at him.
Tess rolled her eyes. "Well, it's mine now."
"No way," Ori said. "We were here first."
"No you weren't," said Ken. "We were."
Ori pointed at his shoes. "Nope. See. Shoes are right there."
"Well," Tess said, holding up the key, "key's right here, and it's not going anywhere else. Good luck, guys." She shook her head in annoyance and sauntered away. Ken shrugged at the boys and then caught up to Tess.
"Damn it, dude," Marquis said. "We're getting rigged out of the game."
Ori shook his head. "Not on my watch, bro. Don't worry. I'm a beast at these reality shows."
Ori: I'm not letting my final two get screwed over like this. Nope. No way.
"I'm sure we'll find something soon. Let's just keep looking." Marquis put his hand on Ori's shoulder to calm him down, and the two nodded. After discussing where to head next, they began to make their way to the boiler room.
Josie was sitting alone in her bedroom with the door open when Morgan and Devon walked in.
"Hey! This is my room! Get out!" Josie tried to get up, but decided not to, and started to cry instead.
Morgan instantly ran up to her. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"I just… I don't have any friends. I got my key and my entire group just bailed on me. It's like, what? I get you're jealous but it's something you have to get used to with me. People can't control talent. And to blame someone for their… skill. I was born this way!"
Devon: Yeah, Lady Gaga made a song about it but you don't see me saying that every five seconds. Try again.
"Aww, it's okay," Morgan cooed. She shot Devon a look for not helping her. "We'll be your friends. Or I will at least."
Josie: I wanna be famous. That's the only reason I'm here. Exposure. Think I care about money? Well, yes. But fame gets you money, and it also gets you a new nose, so here I am.
After Josie's confessional, the view shot back to Morgan holding Josie in bed as she cried. "And it's not even like I like these people, you know? Like, they probably suck! It's just… so hard!"
Morgan patted her head.
"There's a couple keys in my dresser by the way. After those bullies shoved me away I went on a mission to make sure they didn't get any. Have at it."
Morgan and Devon exchanged glances and then went to drawer. Inside they found not one, not two, but six keys in total.
Morgan: You know, I'm not entirely sure I wanna be this girl's friend. She seems like a mess… like a pig at the trough. You're gonna get fed again but you act like there's no more food in the world.
Dani threw up her arms in anger. "Guys, I don't think we're going to find any keys. I think we're screwed." She turned over one of the cushioned seats in the women's restroom. Hudson was sitting on the other seat.
"No," Trisha said. "We're not screwed. I'm sure everyone else is having just as much trouble as we are.
Hudson rolled his eyes.
Hudson: Trisha's young, and she's cute I guess. Oh, not in the I wanna get down with her way, but the adorable way. She's just so naive and optimistic. I guess it's nice to be around that. My ex-wife was just… the worst. Yeah, Linda, you were. Get over it.
"Come on, guys. There's a light at the end of the tunnel!" Trisha smiled at them, nodding her head up and down, but stopped when she saw she was having no luck.
Dani leaned back onto the sink. "Listen, Trish, I appreciate it, but really, what's the point? We've been searching for three hours now and we have nothing." She coughed. "And Anita's ditched us. Only God knows donde fue."
"What?" Hudson said.
"Where she went." Dani turned a faucet on. "I want Total Drama to get a huge water bill."
Trisha: I know it's still early, but I like Dani, and I don't like seeing her be so… down. I mean, it's still early, and lines aren't drawn anywhere yet so we'll see where mine ends up going.
Just as even Trisha was about to admit defeat, the bathroom door swung open and Morgan entered carrying four keys. "Hey y'all."
Trisha smiled at Dani, but Dani refused to look her in the eye.
Dani: I'm allowed to sulk, okay? I'm grateful, but I don't have to be happy about it.
Ori and Marquis arrived at the boiler room, but stopped outside the door when they heard banging coming from inside.
"Dude, I'm a little scared," Marquis said.
Ori shook his head. "It's an old ship. Not big deal."
Marquis wasn't convinced.
Marquis: I'm a strong guy, but… ghosts freak me out. And what else would be in there but a ghost?
Mona and Isaac came stumbling out, Isaac's hair ruffled even more than before and Mona's jacket inside out.
"Oh, hey." Mona straightened out her bun.
Mona and Isaac tried walking away, a bit embarrassed at being caught, but Marquis and Ori chased after them.
"Wait," Marquis said, "did you find any keys? Because we need some."
Isaac shrugged. "Sorry dude. We found one for Mona, but that was it."
Mona smiled at Marquis' and Ori's crestfallen faces and walked away proudly. Ori and Marquis went back to the boiler room, holding out hope that Mona and Isaac didn't explore every corner of the boiler room while exploring… each other.
Nicholas: I've been searching for days. It's… so hard. How it can be this hard to find a key? Are people conspiring against me? It… that must be what's happening. There's no way I would be failing this miserably… I'm smart. I'm smart enough to not be eliminated by some stupid hide and seek.
In a dark hallway in the lower depths of the cruise, Nicholas stalked in the shadows, hoping to find a key. One step. One more. He paused when he saw a shadowy figure appear ahead of him. It's head looked like it had horns-or some sort of growths-coming from its side. However, it seemed short, petite almost, and Nicholas was sure that he could take it, even though he himself was only 5'3".
"I'm not afraid of you. I don't know what monsters Blaineley put in here, but I'm sure you're at the bottom of that pool. The gene pool, that is. You're what? 5'4" max?"
The figure stepped forward. "Actually, I'd said I'm about 5'5'" it said in a southern drawl. "You need a key, buddy?"
Morgan: I know Devon said that we need to look out for ourselves in this game, but I just can't stand seeing someone so… pathetic. I mean, there were no lights on down there! He was like a pig being led to the slaughterhouse. Gosh… I miss Snouty.
Nicholas looked in awe at the key in Morgan's hand.
"Really?" he asked.
Morgan nodded and reached her hand out. "Consider it a gift from a friend."
Nicholas: Back home… I don't have a lot of friends, which honestly shocks me. But at the same time, I understand that people are threatened by me. Morgan… is dumb, but apparently she's dumb enough to not be threatened by my intelligence, so I guess we can be friends. That's… weird to say.
Tess and Ken wandered around the gift shop of the cruise. Tess picked up a pair of floaties and put them back down after seeing a crude drawing on them.
"Any luck?" she asked.
Ken shrugged. "I don't see anything. Do you think that maybe… I'm in trouble? It's been a few hours by now. Obviously my chances aren't looking too good."
Tess touched his arm. "I'm sure you're fine. There's part of me that can just feel that you're not in trouble. At least… not yet."
Ken: I honestly feel so lucky to have met Tess. She's just so… comforting and reassuring. Which honestly, she looks a bit like a vampire with her make-up and black hair and generally pale exterior so I guess it's a welcome surprise.
As Tess finished speaking, Ken turned to see Ori and Marquis walk into the gift shop. As the last three without keys, the boys were nervous. Of course, they had no idea that there was one key left, and that it was in the room with them.
"Any luck?" Tess asked them.
Ori shrugged and moved toward a shelf filled with chips and soda. "You know, we're chilling."
"That's great," Tess said.
"It's great," Ori replied.
Ori: Dudes, it's really not great.
Tess glanced behind Ori and saw a key sitting atop a soda bottle. She darted her eyes at Ken and the back at Ori, hoping to signal the key's location to Ken. While Ken didn't notice, Marquis. In a second he jumped toward Ori, arms outstretched. Ori, taking this is a sign of aggression, pushed Marquis away and fell over on top of him. With those two distracted, Tess rolled her eyes, directed at Ken, and then rushed to snatch the key from the bottle. She handed it to Ken and smiled.
Tess: Listen, even though I'm protecting Ken, it doesn't mean I'm not gonna be looking out for myself. I saved him now, but if he can't save himself later… Well, I hope it doesn't come to that.
Ori and Marquis had just finished getting up from the floor when Blaineley's voice echoed through the cruise. "Hello passengers. I hope you've had a relaxing stay on the S.S. Drama. From what we can see, all the keys have been collected, which means two people don't have one! If everyone could come to the pool deck, we can carry on with today's activities. Thank you!"
Marquis: I don't know what's going on, but I don't like it. And I'm one of the people in trouble! Listen. I respect Ori, but if it's between me and him… I'm willing to throw him under the bus. Like, bully with a fat kid after school under the bus.
Ori: Marquis is my man, and we're not going down without a fight. We're in this together, and there's no way that I'm gonna let him down now.
The sixteen contestants were standing in front of Blaineley, who stood next to two chairs. "Welcome back, everyone. I'm sure you're all wondering what's happening. Well. I'm going to tell you." She cleared her throat. "Total Drama… was predictable. We know that. So, we've decided to change things up this year. In past seasons, you could vote for whoever you wanted, but things will be different from now on. Now, whoever wins a challenge will put two people 'on the chopping block' and everybody else will then vote between those two. We wanted to be nice for this first round, so nobody's putting anyone on the chopping block today. Except for the people that lost." She paused. "Ori, Marquis, would you join me up here and take a seat?"
The two grumbled a bit, but obliged.
"The rest of you will be voting between these two. One at a time, you'll vote for someone to go home in the supply closet. Until it's your turn, you can take a seat in these beautiful lounge couches that Chef has so gratefully provided us."
Chef walked onto the screen dragged three couches. As he walked away, Blaineley growled at him and winked. He rolled his eyes and kept moving.
Isaac: I'm really not sure who to vote off. In my mind, they both walked in on me and Mona, so… I guess I'll just go for it randomly.
Henry: One's a jock, the other wants to be. There's less risk with one option, so that's the one I'm going with.
Yejide: My vote moves with however the wind guides me. One moment the breeze may shake me, another it may simply tap my shoulder. But we'll see.
Anita: This is tough. I mean, none of us really know either of them. And voting someone out the first episode? Are the producers that cruel? Maybe they just don't have enough of a budget to do another episode. God, just get money. It's not that hard.
Anita returned to her seat and Blaineley smirked. "Well, contestants, the votes are in. And in a vote of 10-4… Marquis, you have been kicked off the cruise. Make your way to the Liferaft of Losers, where you'll be pushed overboard."
Marquis frowned, as did Ori.
"Bro, I'm gonna miss you," Ori said.
"Me, too, bro. Give 'em hell."
The two hugged, though elicited no sympathy from anyone else on the cruise, and then Marquis made his way down the ship to the other end, climbed into the Liferaft of Losers, and was launched into the ocean by Chef.
"Don't we... have a limited supply of those?" Hudson asked.
Ignoring him, Blaineley turned to face the camera, exuberant. "And there you have it! The first episode of Total Drama Odyssey! Romance! Blindsides! Betrayals! All this and more on Total! Drama! Odyssey!"
Chapter 2: Once on This Cruise Ship
The cruise churned forward, making its way toward tall skyscrapers and flashing lights. The moon shined overhead, and Blaineley strode to the center of the screen as the view panned in from the sky to the main deck of the ship.
"Welcome, my loving fans, to another episode of Total Drama Odyssey! To recap, my life has been going pretty well. Chad Kitt finally proposed to me, I think he's going to leave Catalina Brolie final-oh, right, a recap for the show. Last week, on Total Drama Odyssey, you saw a budding romance."
A shot of Tess and Ken gazing lovingly into each others' eyes flashed across the screen.
"Tess and Ken have a thing for each other. It's cute. But what's even cuter is the bromance between Ori and Marquis! Or it would have been, until Marquis got the boot! You know, none of us are really sure why, but that's what happened! Want to find out what happens next? Will Chad finally dump his longterm girlfriend for me? Oh, I mean, stay tuned on Total Drama Odyssey!"
Josie: I had a bit of a meltdown last episode and I realized, I'm not gonna win fans that way. I need to… build myself up. Be strong. Show people that I'm a badass, not a crybaby. I'm getting older, so the flirty young chick won't work for me. I need to be the powerful mom, even if my baby is back home and I'm here. Did I call a sitter? Hmm, probably.
Josie strode over to Yejide, Anita, and Hudson, who were all seemingly doing yoga on the main deck. Yejide and Anita were in warrior pose, arms outstretched and legs bent, while Hudson was bent over on the ground in child's pose. Josie took a seat at a beach chair about five feet from them.
"Hey guys, long time no see." She crossed her legs and smiled.
"Uh, yeah," Anita responded.
Anita: Why is she talking to us? We're not friends. And I don't anticipate us becoming friends, either.
"Would you like the join us?" Yejide asked, splitting her legs further apart. "After we finish yoga, we're going to have a poetry workshop to prepare for tomorrow's slam poetry café in the third floor lounge."
"What?" Josie said. She blinked, opened her mouth to speak, and then blinked again. "Don't we have a challenge tonight? How are you gonna find the time?' She uncrossed her legs and leaned in, waiting for Yejide to respond.
Yejide smiled. "Time isn't real." She moved into tree pose and began to sway. "A minute passes but nothing changes, yet everything has changed in that minute." She paused. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Hudson looked at the camera from his seated position.
Hudson: Yeah, I'm just here to work on my belly fat. There's not many other ways to keep in shape on the ship.
About twenty feet away, Ori was standing at the railing of the cruise and looking over the edge, staring into the ocean. "I can't believe I'm… alone."
Ori: It's weird. I'm used to being alone sometimes, I guess. Friends dump me pretty quickly. I think that's why I get so attached to people. I just felt like I clicked with Marquis and now… I don't click with anyone. Or at least I haven't yet. It sucks.
Ori was still standing, pensive and reflecting on his loneliness when Morgan approached him. She was carrying a glass of what seemed to be soda.
"Hey there." She tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around. "I don't know if we've really met yet, but I'm Morgan." She offered him the glass.
Grabbing the soda from her hand, Ori smiled at her. "Thanks."
"Do you wanna talk?" Morgan said.
Ori nodded, and the two of them made their way to a shady area with a couple of lounge armchairs. After letting Ori sit first, Morgan sat down and stared at him.
"What's up?" she said.
Morgan: I feel bad for Ori. It looked like Marquis was his only friend, and… Well, I can't stand seein' someone all alone and sad. He needs a friend, and honestly, so do I. Devon is just all game and I want someone to just be nice to me for me, not for a vote.
"Yeah, it's just been hard," Ori said with a sigh. "But, uh, thanks for talking to me. No one else has."
Morgan shrugged. "A lot of these people just don't get me. I'm not sure if you do quite yet, but I think we're clicking."
They both smiled, got up, and hugged. After letting go, they walked away as if nothing had happened.
Ori: Morgan's… not my usual cup of tea, but I don't really have any options, and she's a lot better than what I expected. So… she's cool.
The camera shifted to a view of the dining room, where people sat at various tables. At one table sat Tess, Ken, Isaac, and Mona-the two couples. Mona was eating apple slices while the other three were all eating eggs, toast, and bacon.
Isaac: I know that being with Mona makes me a target. We're both hot. We're both in shape… We need protection. Uh, oh. I didn't mean it like that. Or I guess maybe I did. Heh.
"I'm just not really convinced that green looks good on anyone," Mona said, eyeing Ken's green shirt. "Are you trying to look like a leprechaun?"
Ken looked at Tess.
"I like it," she said. "I think it looks great." She smiled at him, and then looked at Isaac and Mona, causing her smile to weaken into an embarrassed smirk.
Tess: Ken's great, he's just… really passive. I'm hoping there's a spark in him soon, but I had to grab his key last week, and now he can't even stand up for his shirt color? Ugh, I'm being stupid.
"Listen, let's get down to business," Isaac said. He put his elbows on the table and leaned in toward Ken and Tess. "We're the only couples here. Why don't we team up?"
Ken: Since when did Total Drama have this much strategy?
"Isaac!" Mona exclaimed. "Why are you like this? You have to flirt first, tease the idea a bit. You don't just blurt it out like that. It's so stupid." She turned to Tess. "But what do you think? Yeah?"
Tess looked at Ken, hoping for an answer, but he just started back at her with puppy-dog eyes.
"Yeah, we're in," she said.
Tess: I'm not gonna see anything else from him, am I? I guess that's what happens when I think with my-
Nicholas walked into the game room to see Devon and Henry seated in front of the flat screen tv, playing some kind of war video game. Dani and Trisha were sitting a few feet away from them, playing chess. Nicholas decided to avoid Henry and pulled a chair up to Trisha and Dani.
"Oh, bad move," he said, as Dani took Trisha's bishop. Trisha coughed but laughed a bit. Dani, however, shot Nicholas a look.
"Can I help you?" Dani said. "Or are you just gonna watch silently? Because I certainly don't recall preguntarte para ayuda."
"What?" Nicholas said, not understanding her Spanish.
"For asking you for help. God! Can't someone on this cruise know Spanish?"
Without looking away from the screen, Devon raised his hand. "Me. I know Spanish, Dani. Yo puedo hablar."
Dani's mouth fell open, but then turned into a shining grin. If Devon had turned around to look at her, rather than keep playing video games, he would have smiled at her. Nicholas, on the other hand, was not smiling.
Dani: Gracias a Dios. I'm not alone on this cruise. Don't get me wrong, my English is fine. But this also means… maybe Devon and I can strategize in a language no one else can speak.
Nicholas: That's great for them, but it just means I'm going to be keeping my ears open. Not that I could understand anything, but I'll just-I'll just figure something out, okay? I'm smart! I am!
"Hey, can I take winner at chess?" Henry asked, still shooting at Devon in the video game. "I promise I'll actually be a challenge."
Dani scoffed. "Okay."
"Okay." Henry smirked and turned to wink at her. "Good luck."
"Well, you win," Trisha said, standing up from the table. "Henry, you're up whenever you want." Trisha walked toward the couch to sit with Devon, but turned back and wiggled her eyebrows at Dani as if to say "go get some." She sat down on the couch, and Henry took her seat at the chess table across from Dani. Nicholas was still sitting there as well.
"You're white," Henry said, leaning back.
Dani blinked. "Oh." She laughed. "Yeah, I'll move first."
Henry: I find that it's easy to get to know someone in a bit of competition. So we'll play a game, maybe I'll win, maybe I'll lose, but I think we'll both get something out of it.
"And checkmate," Dani said, knocking over Henry's king.
Henry smirked. "Good game."
The two smiled at each other until Nicholas butted in. "I wouldn't really call that a good game. It was actually a little pathetic. I'm not shocked that Henry lost, though. Given his actions last week, he has to be stupid."
Henry: It's a good thing I've given up on him. He's... what? 13? How old is he really? I'm 24. I don't need this.
Dani: I'm… I can't believe that this kid is on this show. Who cast him?
"I suppose I'll go next?" Nicholas asked. He stood up and waited for Henry to get out of his chair. After a couple seconds of shock, Henry stood up and allowed Nicholas take his position.
"Have fun, you two," Henry said, smiling at both of them. Dani rolled her eyes in response, but smiled. She watched him as he walked out of the room, so much so that Nicholas got impatient.
"Excuse me, this is Total Drama, not the Bachelor. Now let's play chess." He swung the board around, giving himself the white pieces. "My move."
Dani grimaced at the camera.
Dani: I deserve the million for dealing with him. Seriamente.
"Wow, that was easy," Nicholas said as he rose from the chair. "Next time actually try, okay?" Nicholas pushed his chair in and walked out of the room.
"What the hell was that?" Trisha exclaimed as she spun around to meet Dani's eyes. "How did you not murder him? I mean, not that I'd murder him, but you have a short fuse, Dani."
Dani shrugged. "I dissociated."
Trisha: I love Dani. She's great. But you never really know what to expect from her. I mean, she is young. God, I'm old, aren't I? Thirty-one is the new fifty-five. Sheesh.
After convincing Isaac to give her some alone time, Mona made her way to the main deck. She saw Yejide, Hudson, and Anita still doing yoga, and decided to join them. Josie was sitting off to the side, seemingly trying to tan even though the moon was out.
"J-Josie?" Mona said.
Josie didn't respond.
Josie: UVs are strongest when you can't see them. I read that online.
"Don't bother," Hudson said. "She's been comatose for twenty minutes now."
Mona shrugged. "The moon's not gonna hide those crow's feet. I just don't get why she's even trying."
Josie opened a single eye, but shut it quickly.
"She can still hear you," Anita said, standing up. "Don't you care?"
"Nah," Mona replied, shaking her head. "She's probably lost some hearing at her age."
This time, both of Josie's eyes flashed open.
Josie: She's clearly trying to set me off. I'm not sure why. Maybe Isaac said something about her being ugly and me being sexy. All boys love a good MILF.
"I can assure you, my hearing is just fine," Josie said, slowly rising from her chair, trying to emulate something from an action movie with a strong female lead, like Kill Bill. She failed, however, as she tripped climbing up and stumbled back into her seat. She flipped her long blonde hair and stood up again. "Hello, Mona."
Mona stared at her dumbstruck. Then, she turned her attention back to Anita and Yejide. "Mind if I join?"
Anita and Yejide nodded assuringly. Mona took off her gray jean jacket, let down her curly hair from its bun, and started to enter yoga pose with the girls and Hudson when the boat lurched to a quick stop.
"Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed the cruise so far!" Blaineley voice reverberated across the ship through the intercom. "We've reached our first destination! New York City!"
Everyone gathered onto the main deck to look out at the city skyline. The dark space in front of them was crowded with neon lights, signs that advertised cheap deals for older gentlemen and Broadway shows, skyscrapers that shined a bright rainbow, and planes flying overhead. For many of them, New York was a new horizon filled with unexpected, but tonight, they were in for a grueling escapade that would ruin New York for them possibly forever, or at least that's what Blaineley was hoping for.
Mona: New York is beautiful. Once I get some of my life together I'm moving there. That way, I can not be nice and get away with it. I've never met a nice person from New York, and I don't plan to change that for myself.
As the contestants kept marveling at the view, Blaineley stepped outside from the captain's quarters to greet them. "Take in as much as you can now, because trust me, you won't be seeing much once we start this challenge. Before we start, though, why don't I ask some questions?" She looked at the camera. "Stir up some drama, get the tears flowing… God, I love myself. And this job. I love me."
Everyone else just looked at her, not sure whether she knew they could hear everything she was saying.
"Anyway, let's start with… you," Blaineley said, pointing her index finger at Tess. "You're in a showmance, right? How is it?"
Before Tess could respond, Ken wrapped her in a side-hug and beamed at Blaineley. "It's going great," he said. He smiled at Tess, and she smiled back without saying anything.
Blaineley: I give them a day, two tops.
Some others caught on to Tess' awkwardness, but for the most part nobody questioned it. So, Blaineley moved on, hoping her next question could spark some sort of controversy.
"Anita, you're very fashionable. Chic, even. Is that the newest Yves St. Laurent, I see? How much would that cost? More than the prize money for this show, maybe?"
Anita scoffed. "Please, it's a knock-off."
Blaineley frowned. "But, um, your purse? That has to be authentic Prada, Fall collection? Not released yet? Pricier than my salary?"
Anita shook her head.
Anita: I get what Blaineley is trying to do. But regardless of how much my dress costs, that doesn't say anything to the kind of player I am. I'll trample someone in a Paris boutique and I'll trample someone here. No difference to me.
Blaineley sighed. "Come on guys, give me something. Are any of you fighting? There has to be something worth air time. Our audience needs conflict! Passion! Romance!"
"I think these two," Nicholas said, gesturing toward Dani and Henry, "are going to happen soon. They refuse to admit it, but you can tell by how close they're standing, and the intensity of their pheromones, that they're attracted to one another."
Dani and Henry glared at him.
"I'm sorry?" Dani said.
"Don't apologize," Nicholas replied. "I may be in tune with the science of logic, but not everyone can be so detached from their emotions. I understand, and therefore there's no need to say you're sorry."
Trisha: Nicholas is… a smart boy. Anyone could see that. But he just doesn't think. Or he does, but not well. He reminds me of my brother. Maybe Nicholas watches anime, too. I mean, I watch also, but, maybe he's the basement-dwelling type. Does that sound bad? Oh, it probably does. What I'm trying to say is-
"Keep going," Blaineley said, trying to encourage Nicholas. "The world wants to listen, Nicholas. Speak your truth."
Nicholas opened his mouth to talk, but Yejide interjected. "Blaineley, I agree. Speaking your truth is the highest joy anyone can truly attain." She glided closer to Blaineley, moving around her. "If we're open with each other, the world is open with us."
Blaineley pushed her onto the ground. "You sound like my ex-therapist. Anyway, let's just get to tonight's challenge. If you follow me, we'll be heading to Broadway!"
Some of the contestants cheered, being fans of musical theatre, but a loud groan erupted from Ori. "Are you kidding me?" He said. "We're going to Broadway? What are we gonna do? Dance? Sing? I'm not doing it."
"Why not?" Devon said. "Do you have a problem with that?"
Ori grunted. "Yeah, I do. But I'm not gonna get into it. People would think I'm crazy."
Devon thought about probing further, but decided not do. Blaineley, eager to start the challenge and the torture, didn't ask any more questions either. Instead, she led them off the cruise, and through New York to a theatre on Broadway. Inside, the lights of the theatre were off, but a single silhouette was on stage. As the lights flashed on, the contestants saw a young woman with curly brown hair and a large form, smiling at them and waving.
"Hi guys, I'm Nikki Blonsky from the movie Hairspray, and I'm really excited to lead your challenge today. Ex oh, ex oh."
Everyone seemed confused at her presence, though Ori seemed almost disgusted.
"For tonight's challenge," Blaineley began, stepping onto the stage, "Nikki Blonsky is going to teach you dance routines. Then, you'll repeat them, and she'll eliminate you once she believes you're hopeless and beyond repair. Or if she just thinks you're ugly, I guess."
Nikki Blonsky looked at Blaineley, her smile unfaltering and her eyes unblinking. "Ha ha, Blaineley, you're so funny. We should hang out sometime girl!"
Nikki Blonsky didn't respond, but instead seemed to almost robotically walk to the front of the stage, waiting for the contestants to gather behind her. Once they had all formed two lines of eight, Nikki began to dance, politely yelling at them to pay attention and follow her movements. Most of them tried to the best of their abilities, but had no dancing genes in their entire body. That is, except a few people.
Devon: I did some musical theatre in high school and college, so this isn't too bad for me. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's hard, but it's manageable.
After about ten minutes of practicing the same routine, Nikki Blonsky spun around and faced the contestants. "Now you guys are going to be dancing on your own, and I'll decide who's the best. Ex oh ex oh. On my go… go!"
Nikki Blonsky bounced off to the side of the stage to examine them from a different angle, and everyone began to dance. Nearly immediately, Nikki Blonsky pointed at Hudson and told him he was eliminated. "Keep going everyone!"
Yejide: My being sways to the rhythm of the energy around me, and so my body is able to follow suit. I must say, I am not impressed by this challenge.
"Five Minutes Later" flashed across the bottom of the screen, and Yejide, Nicholas, Ken, Trisha, and Anita sat next to Hudson in the first row of seats. Morgan and Isaac seemed to be struggling, but otherwise everyone seemed to be determined to win the challenge.
Nikki Blonsky took a step toward the contestants and began to eye Ori up and down. "You look familiar."
Ori kept dancing. "I'm not. Can't say I recognize you. I've never seen Hairspray." He looked away, or at least tried to, but Nikki Blonsky refused to surrender her gaze.
"No, I know you," she said. Her eyes widened as realization spread across her face. "Oh my gosh, Ori! It's been so long! It's me, Nikki Blonsky from the movie Hairspray! And you're-"
"Don't say it!" Ori said, falling over. He sighed. "Ugh."
Dani and Devon exchanged looks.
Devon: I have no idea what that was about, but how does Ori know a washed up celebrity? Maybe they were friends. Either way, why was he trying to hide it?
Ori: The truth is I was a dance kid when I was younger. Before I went on Toad-al Drama, my mom got me a gig in the movie Hairspray. She tried to get me to go to Broadway, but I refused. I was just so afraid I would fail, and I can't have anyone know that I... did musical theatre. Who would respect me?
While nearly half of the contestants had dropped out, eight remained: Dani, Devon, Henry, Isaac, Josie, Mona, Morgan, and Tess.
"How are you doing this?" Dani asked Henry. "You don't seem… too in shape."
As he kept dancing, he smirked at her. "I was a theatre kid in high school. And debate, too, but a lot of theatre. I got the lead a couple times."
Henry: Some might say that I'm a good actor. I wouldn't disagree.
"That's cool," Dani told him, trying to focus on her steps. "I never did any of that. Not that I ever really wanted to. I can dance at home if I want to. I don't need to waste time at school for that."
Henry shrugged and in doing so missed a step. Before he could continue, Nikki Blonsky appeared him and pushed him to the ground.
"Ha ha, sorry about that. We should hang out sometime, though."
After seeing how Nikki Blonsky womanhandled Henry, the other contestants kicked themselves into overdrive, and nobody missed a beat for the next ten minutes. Nikki Blonsky was about to let them rest so she could show them a new set when Morgan tripped over her own feet, sending herself and Isaac flying into the audience.
"Sorry, man," she said, picking herself up from the ground. Isaac didn't respond, but instead shot her a dirty look.
Isaac: I was in the groove, okay?
"Isaac! Are you okay?" Mona stopped dancing and jumped off the stage, rushing to Isaac's side. "Did she hurt you?"
Isaac groaned, but sat up. "I'm fine. It's okay. Hey, wait, you're out of the challenge."
"Yeah, she is." Josie laughed as she danced. "She's out, and can't win. What a shame!"
"How are you even still in?" Mona said. She helped Isaac to his feet and then walked to the foot of the stage. "You're what, forty? How have your bones not given in yet?"
Josie smiled. "I'm an actress. I've taken years of dance lessons, and this challenge is going to be my bitch."
In awe of her attitude, Nikki Blonsky chose not to interrupt the challenge, and given that there were only four people left, let them repeat the same routine from before. Within just two minutes, Tess and Dani had fallen, leaving only Devon and Josie still dancing.
"Josie, how bad you do want this?" Devon asked in between spins. "Because if you keep me safe, I'm fine stopping."
Josie nodded as she dipped forward. "You're nowhere on my radar, kid."
As soon as Josie said that, Devon stood still. Nikki Blonsky then ran towards him, trampled him to the ground, and continued over to Josie to wrap her into a hug.
"Oh my gosh congratulations! I'm Nikki Blonsky from the movie Hairspray and I'm so excited that you won!"
"Put me down."
Nikki Blonsky put her down, but still smiled. She didn't blink. Not even once.
"Great job, everyone," Blaineley said, climbing the steps to the stage. "Josie, you get to decide two people to put on the chopping block. I'll give you time to decide and-"
"No need," Josie said. "I'm putting Mona and Isaac on the chopping block. Sorry Isaac, I know we had a thing, but I want her out of the picture before we get anything going."
Isaac looked at Josie, then at Mona, and then back at Josie. "What?"
Isaac: I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about. None. She's eighty years old!
"Oh," Blaineley said. "Well, there goes any suspense. Fine. Well, we'll head back to the ship so you guys can have some time to discuss." She eyed Isaac up and down and smirked. "Though I don't see any reason why you'd need to." She winked at him, and then walked through the theatre beckoning for everyone to follow her.
Within thirty minutes, they were back on the cruise, and everyone had split off into groups. Trisha, Hudson, Anita, and Dani had gathered in the dining room to talk.
Anita flipped her silky black hair. "I think I'm voting out Isaac."
"Why?" Dani asked. "He seems dumb. Mona doesn't."
Anita shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just like Mona more.
Trisha nodded. "I do, too."
"But I don't," Dani said. "She's never made an effort to talk to me."
"Has Isaac?" Hudson pointed out. "Did you make an effort to talk to them?"
Dani: My alliance is ignoring me. Great. Not really sure why, since I'm thinking logically, but I guess they can't do that. I just need to find new people to work with. People that will take me seriously… unlike them.
Dani walked into the sauna to find Ori, Morgan, and Devon relaxing.
"Guys, I have a plan, but I'm not sure if I have the numbers," she said, sitting down next to Morgan. "Ugh. I just… I want to do something."
"Aren't you going to take your towel off first?" Morgan said.
The camera zoomed out to show that Dani was fully dressed while Ori, Morgan, and Devon were all dressed only in towels.
Morgan: I get where Dani is coming from. She said her friends won't listen to her. That sucks. But I just don't wanna make no waves right now.
Isaac: After the challenge Mona pulled me aside and said we couldn't talk to anyone or campaign against each other, which I get. I just hope that doesn't bite me in the ass.
About thirty minutes later, everyone gathered next to the pool for the vote. Mona came out of the bathroom with Dani and Morgan with a smile on her face, but the smile quickly faded when she sat down next to Isaac.
Blaineley stood in front of them. "Per usual, you two will not get to plead your cases here. One because I do not care, and two because I want this moment to be about me. So, one by one, the rest of you will vote one of Isaac or Morgan out. Understand?"
Grunts and murmurs of approval were heard.
"Good, now, Tess, you're up first."
Tess: Maybe it's a good thing this showmance is being broken up… Hopefully, it's a good omen for me.
Nicholas: This vote is easy logistically. One of them is good for me. The other is not. Goodbye, cretin.
Yejide: Like the last elimination, the spirits are moving me to vote one way. Will I follow? Most likely. The spirits are fickle but I am not.
As Yejide came back to her seat, Blaineley turned to face Isaac and Mona. "The votes are in," she said. "And by a vote of 9-3… Isaac, you have been eliminated. Please head to the Liferaft of Losers, where you'll be pushed overboard. You won't be missed."
Isaac and Mona quickly embraced before Isaac got up and headed to the liferaft. However, Mona followed him there.
"We'll see each other soon," she said, not aware that nobody was going to be picking up his liferaft.
"We'll see each other soon," he responded.
They kissed for just a second before Isaac pulled away and boarded the liferaft. Before Mona could catch her breath, Chef Hatchet dropped Isaac into the water and chuckled as he walked away.
Mona: That sucked. I feel bad that I sold him out, but I need to win this game. There's plenty of hot boys at home, but there's not really that much money.
"And there you have it, folks." Blaineley stepped into the captain's quarters to put all the attention on herself and not the contestants. "Another episode of Total Drama Odyssey! Mona betrayed Isaac, and soon, maybe Tess will do the same to her lover. Will love ever win? Maybe not, but find out next time on Total Drama Odyssey!"