| There is some language or violence that may not be appropriate for people under thirteen years of age. |
In the epic third story of Toad's canon, 20 all-new contestants compete in a large city, where they will fight for a billion dollars! Rated PG-13 for some crude humor, and some inappropriate language.
Characters
Chelsey
Chapters
Chapter 1 - The Canadian Revolution
"Hello, helloooooooo..." says Chris, standing in front of a very large building. "I'm here, in Revolution City! Last season on Total Drama: Tiki Jungle, we had sixteen competitors battle it out on a volcanic island! In the end, long-time enemies morbidly obeeeese Arthur and short, angry Julia remained. Julia won, after beating Arthur in rock-paper-scissors. Unfortunately, Trey, our antagonist, took the money, and swam away as fast as he could, but the police caught him, and now he's spending his life on Tiki Island. Poor guy. Anyways, we have 20 all-new contestants to compete in city-related challenges, right here, right now, on Total... Drama... Revolution!"
A very short boy steps out of the bus.
"Why, hello, little boy. You must be in the wrong location. Our contestants are all sixteen and up. So here, let me get you a tasty cookie and some coloring books..." says Chris.
"I'm not a little kid." says the boy, obviously frustrated. "I'm Toad. I'm a contestant."
"Well, are you a dwarf?" asks Chris.
"NO." says the boy angrily. "I'm Toad Gamereighty, and I'm twelve and a half years old."
"Aren't you a little too young to be competing in this reality show?" asks Chris,
"No! Some big guy told me I could sign up." says Toad.
"When that chef gets here, he's going to be in so much trouble..." mutters Chris.
Chef drives up, in a limo. "Sup?" he asks.
Chris takes out a rolling pin, and Chef runs away screaming.
An awkward-looking short boy with a very long neck, large ears, and droopy pants comes out of the bus.
"Hey, dude." says the boy. "Th' name's Northworth."
"Northworth?" asks Toad. He begins to laugh.
"Hey, man, you're one to talk. Nobody names their kids after amphibians. And what's with your height? I was that tall when I was five. And you'll probably never gonna get a girlfriend. So, just leave, before I make yo--" says Northworth.
Toad pulls his sagging pants down.
"Dude, you're dead." says Northworth. He then curses.
A pretty girl comes out of the bus, sees Northworth's pants on the ground, and giggles.
"Homina homina." says Toad.
"Hey, I'm MacKenzie." says the pretty girl. "The weather's pretty nice out today, huh?"
"Yes, yes it is..." drools Toad.
Northworth laughs loudly and obnoxiously. "Har, har, har. You think you can get her? Dream on, kid."
MacKenzie laughs nervously. She whispers to Chris, "Why are the other boys here freaks?"
"We wanted an interesting cast." says Chris.
"Yeah, maybe they're too interesting." says MacKenzie.
A boy with red hair and many piercings steps out of the bus.
"'Ey, I'm Gustavo." he says.
"Gustavo? That's a fat guy name, dude." says Northworth.
"SHUT TH' @#$%! UP, YOU @#$%!" screams Gustavo.
Northworth quiets down.
"Sorry, man. I kinda have anger management issues. Forgive me?" asks Gustavo.
"Well, if it can't be helped, I guess. But that was scary." says MacKenzie.
"Sure." says Toad.
"Nah." says Northworth. "I hate this guy."
A slightly overweight girl comes in, and stares Toad in the eye.
"Hi, there." says Toad.
"PJ." says the girl.
"What, is that your name or something?" asks Toad.
PJ nods.
"This is PJ, she doesn't talk much." says Chris.
"Um, yeah." says MacKenzie.
"Hey, duuuudes." says another girl. This girl has a calm expression on her face.
"Everyone, meet Tasia." says Chris.
Tasia laughs woozily, then faints, then gets up.
"Um, are you okay?" asks Gustavo.
"Yeah, I'm fine, maaaan." says Tasia. "God, I ate too many beans last niiiight..."
MacKenzie stares at Tasia worriedly.
Tasia vomits into a trash can. "It's all right, duuuudes. It happens all th' tiiiime."
"You're kinda creepy, dude." says Northworth.
"Yeah, duuuude, well, you're one to talk, what kind of a name is Northworth. It's like, cardinal directions, maaaan." says Tasia. "What's your laaaast name, Southworth?"
"Actually, it is." says Northworth.
Tasia laughs again, and falls asleep. "Don't wake me up, maaaan."
PJ pokes her, and Tasia gnashes her teeth.
"Ugh." PJ slinks away.
"All right, now let's meet Trick, to take our minds off of the disturbing creature named Tasia." says Chris.
A skater dude with a large nose, wavy blond hair, and a striped sweatshirt comes in riding a skateboard.
"What's up, dawgs?" he asks. "Th' name's Patrick, but you can call me Trick."
"Hi, Patrick, nice schnoz." says Northworth.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me." says Trick. "Oh yeah, and please call me Trick." He then does a skating trick on the side of a building.
MacKenzie giggles. "Cool, your name is Trick and you just did a trick." she says pleasantly.
Toad growls.
"Here's our next contestant." says Chris.
A very pretty, and very tall girl comes out of the bus with a sketchpad.
"Hey, guys, I'm Chelsey. All right, starting with the short guy. You may be a little popular, but your wimpiness ruins everything. Weird girl with black hair who's asleep, no. Just no. Kid with red--" she says, and begins to jot things down in her sketchpad.
"What are you talkin' about?" asks Trick.
"Popularity meter, the best part of a kid's life. You'd be about a four. Skaters aren't popular, but they're really well-respected. Awkward kid with big ears, sorry, but you seem like one of those kids who long to be popular. And desperate people are not good." she says.
"I don't need some hot-- I mean, dumb girl to tell me whether I'm popular or not." says Northworth.
"Who cares about popularity?" asks Gustavo.
"YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT." huffs Chelsey. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom."
"It's a mile walk to the west." says Chris.
"Don't care." says Chelsey, and she stomps away.
A boy with a ponytail and green hair steps out of the bus carrying pants.
"Hey, I'm Donny." he says. "Who's the hottie who just stomped away?"
Tasia wakes up. "Chelsey, duuuude. Don't even bother, she's just a nerp."
"Nerp?" asks Donny.
"Don't aaaask." says Tasia.
"What's with the pants, knob?" asks Northworth.
"Gotta get pants." says Donny. "Here, try them on." He hands Northworth a pair of pants.
Northworth tries them on, and they cover his entire body. "Dude, you have really big pants."
"No, you're just really short." says Donny.
Northworth waddles away with the large pants on him.
A very short girl comes in with loud rap music blaring.
"Hey." she says in a really nasally voice. "I'm Elle. And I'm from the Jersey shore."
"No, you're not. You're on my soccer team." says Chelsey, who has returned. "You're from Kentucky, I think."
"Ooh, I love Kentucky fried chicken." says Toad.
"Shut up. I wish I was from the Jersey shore." says Elle. "Hey, you're kinda cute."
She walks over to Northworth, who faints.
"Take a chill pill, duuuude. I mean, partying is fuuuun, but not all daaaay..." says Tasia.
"A chill pill? My doc wouldn't prescribe them to me." says Elle.
"Heh, heh, heh. You're fuuuunny." says Tasia.
"Not trying to be." says Elle. She clutches Toad's shoulder. "Purrrrr."
Toad laughs and starts to sweat.
"What's up, boy?" asks Elle. Suddenly, a bra falls out of her suitcase. It says "SNOO" on one cup, and "KI" on the other.
"Wait, Snooki, as in Nebraska Shore?" guffaws Donny. "That show su--"
"DO NOT INSULT SNOOKI. SHE IS MY IDOL." says Elle angrily.
"Okay." says Donny calmly.
"Moving on to Kavren." says Chris.
A skinny boy with very long hair comes out of the bus standing on his hands.
"I couldn't even do that for, like, five seconds, maaan." says Tasia.
"Bleedle blup bop bork." says Kavren.
The others stare at him worriedly.
"Just kiddin'. My name's Kavren, I'm sixteen, and my favorite book is Billy Bongo and the Banana Brothers." he says.
"I read that book once, dude. It sucked." says Northworth rudely.
"Whutevs. Anyways, have you guys played Supah Jario Brothers Wuu?" asks Kavren.
"I played that game once, dude. It sucked," says Northworth.
"You know, you're probably just saying that because you're insecure, and you have no other way to be happy. I mean, look at your awkward body." says Kavren.
Northworth stares at Kavren. "You just dug your own grave, turdwad."
"Fleedle-deedle." says Kavren happily.
"Let's meet Cammy." says Chris.
A pretty girl with a large nose and a "Gangsta Saurus" shirt comes out of the bus.
"Aw, yeah." she says, looking at Kavren's sweatshirt. "LOLcats are really hilarious. I can haz cheezburger."
PJ says quietly, "I like memes too."
"That's cool." says Cammy. "Glad I'm not the only one."
"What's up, nerd-ette?" asks Northworth.
Cammy laughs at how pathetic Northworth is, and sees Trick.
"'Sup, I'm Trick." says Trick.
"Cammy." blushes Cammy.
Northworth waddles over to them. "Aww, big schnozzes in love. Y'know, if you ever tried to kiss, your noses would probably get in th' way?"
"He's dumb, ignore him." whispers Trick. Cammy nods.
A very strange-looking boy comes out of the bus. He has a purple mohawk, beady little eyes, and a golden shirt with a star on it.
"'Ello." he says in an Australian accent. "Th' name's Vincent Alan Mackiewicz."
"A strange name for a strange boy..." says Northworth.
"Well, mon, at least m' name isn't Northworth. I mean, what a funny-soundin' name. Northworth. I could say it all day, if I wanted to." says Vincent.
"You just got burned." whispers Donny.
Northworth grumbles something naughty, and pushes Donny away.
"Didn't hurt." says Donny.
Northworth kicks Donny in the crotch.
"Still didn't hurt." says Donny calmly.
"Anyways, fellows, what's up around here?" asks Vincent. "Looks like a motley bunch." He stares at the fainted Tasia, Northworth and Donny who are fighting, Toad who is stalking MacKenzie, Gustavo who is screaming at Elle, PJ who is poking others, and Chelsey who is trying to get away from Kavren.
"You'll get used to them." says Chris.
"I hope so." says Vincent cheerfully.
A tall boy with a toque and soul patch comes out of the bus.
"Hello, I'm Dolph." says the boy in a British accent. "And I have a few things to say. Teasing is wrong. Respect your elders. And remember, never, never ever, never ever EVER pee in your bed."
"What a nice little advice columnist." says Vincent.
"Aw, shut up, Sonic." says Dolph.
"A hypocrite, eh?" asks Vincent. "This seems it may be fun. Dude, y' just said that teasing was wrong."
"Yes, I know." says Dolph. "Now get away from me, you hob-knocker."
"Hob-knocker?" asks Cammy skeptically.
"Yes, a very common insult for Brits." says Vincent. "Which he appears to be."
"Hey, man, why do you have the colors of the American flag on your hat if you're British?" asks Elle.
"It was a coincidence..." says Dolph.
"Suuuure." giggles Elle.
The sound of stomping is heard from inside the bus. Then a very short girl rapidly runs out.
"Everyone, this is Lizz--" says Chris.
"HAIIIIIIII!!!" screams the girl. "I'mLizzaandI'msixteenyearsoldandpeoplesayI'mreallyshortbutyoushouldseemymomshe'slikeafootshorterthanme! Andspeakingofmymomshetoldmenottohavetoomuchcaffeineyesterday. ButIdidandnowshe'sreallymadatmebecauseIgetreallyhyperwheneverIhavetoomuch CAFFEEEINE!!"
"What's wrong with her?" asks MacKenzie.
"Nobody knows." says Chris.
"You're pretty!" says Lizza, and she runs up to Chelsey. "I loooove your hair! Did you do it yourself??" She begins to stroke Chelsey's hair.
"Chris, can I have a restraining order? This girl doesn't seem like the essence of popularity. Plus, she's creepy." says Chelsey.
Chris picks up Lizza and throws her into a trash can.
"That should do the trick." says Donny.
A very pretty girl rushes out of the bus with a large backpack.
"I'm Mattie!" she says. "I know CPR, I can help that little girl in the trash can!"
"Um, she's not little, just short." says Gustavo.
"Whatever." says Mattie, and runs over to the trash can.
"No, don't open the--" says Trick.
Lizza rushes out of the can and begins to bounce about.
"--Trash can." finishes Trick.
Mattie gives Lizza some sleeping pills, and Lizza falls sound asleep.
"There, that's better." says Mattie. "Anyways, what's up, guys?"
"You're hoooot." says Toad.
"Er, thank you." says Mattie. "I'm used to that."
"Poopoo." says Toad, and walks away.
Trick pets his head. "You'll get someone."
A boy comes out of the bus. This boy is wearing a cap, strange sunglasses, and a sports jersey with the number 2 on it.
"Now somebody, anybody, everybody scream!" says the boy.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!" screams Lizza, who has woken up.
"Oh, lord." says Dolph.
"The name's Antoine, and I like to rap. What's up with this little one?" he asks.
"She had too much caffeine last night apparently. I don't know, duuuude, I could barely understand anything she was sayin'." says Tasia.
"Well, how pleasant." says Antoine.
A very intimidating girl steps out of the bus. She is quite tall, with an eye patch, and a very large and imposing syringe on her arm.
Toad wets his pants.
"Don' worry." says the girl, in a thick Italian accent. "I'm Kim. Trust me, I will not bite."
She takes off the syringe, revealing her hand.
"Oh, good, it's fake." says MacKenzie. "I was a bit worried there." She giggles.
"We have two contestants left." says Chris. "Let's meet Ori."
A boy with dark skin and long hair steps out of the bus.
"Hey, I'm Ori, nice to meet you." He shakes everyone's hands.
MacKenzie blushes. "A real gentleman."
"SHUT UP, TURD!" screams Ori.
"Wow, someone who's just like me, dude. Pleasure to meet you, I'm Northworth." says Northworth.
"Be quiet, Wyatt." says Ori angrily. He then returns to his nice, calm voice. "Sorry there, I sort of have multiple personalities. They usually don't change as quickly as they just did."
"Ooh, I love those kinds o' people. Do you see, like, an angel an' a devil whenever you tryin' t' say somethin'?" asks Vincent.
"Nope." says Ori.
"Cool beans." says Vincent.
"Everyone, meet the last contestant, Abbey." says Chris.
A hot girl with strawberry blonde hair and skinny jeans walks out of the bus.
"Wow, there sure are some lookers here, eh, mate?" asks Vincent.
"Yeah, bro." says Donny.
"Well, hello, everybody." says Abbey.
"You're hoooot." says Toad.
"Um, yeah, whatever. I'm not looking for a relationship right now." says Abbey.
"Harsh, dont'cha think?" asks Toad.
"Nope, I just don't like slimy boys." says Abbey.
"Hey, baby, you're in luck. I'm the least slimy boy ever." says Trick.
"I don't like skateboards." says Abbey. "And Dustin Nutria hair grosses me out."
"Yeesh." says Trick.
"Hey, don't you have the same name as Nic's buff ab belly?" asks Antoine.
"Oh yeah, she does!" giggles Vincent.
"Ugh, it's spelled with an ey, not just a y." says Abbey. "You make me sick."
"All right, everyone, who wants to hear the teams?" asks Chris.
"AIEEEEEE!" screams Lizza.
Chris puts a roll of duct tape on Lizza's mouth. "That should do the trick." he says.
"All right, Northworth, Toad, Trick, Antoine, Kavren, Elle, Chelsey, MacKenzie, PJ, and Cammy will be the Epic Platypi." says Chris.
"Platypi?" asks MacKenzie.
"Plural for platypus." says Cammy. "At least, I think."
"And the other team, the Dancing Bugs, will consist of Donny, Vincent, Dolph, Gustavo, Ori, Abbey, Lizza, Tasia, Kim, and Mattie." says Chris.
"No, man, please! I frickin' hate Tasia!" says Kim.
"Kim, I will destroy you!" screams Chris.
"Okay, okay..." mutters Kim.
"Whoo, I like bugs. I find 'em all the time at camp." says Mattie.
"Dude, bugs are awesome!" says Ori.
"Okay then." says Chris. "What will the first challenge be? Who will be the first eliminated? Tune in next time to Total Drama Revoluuuution!"
Chapter 2 - Someone's in the Kitchen with Tasia
"Last time on Total Drama Revolution..." begins Chis, "We met our twenty campers. That's kinda the only thing that happened. Well, let's see how they're doing now."
The campers are in the same spot as they were in the last episode.
"What the crap are we supposed to do, dribblets?" says Northworth curtly.
"Now, you just sit tight for a moment while me and Chef determine the challenge for today." says Chris.
"Actually, the proper way of saying it would be 'Chef and I.' Chris, if you want to host a reality show, you should probably learn some proper grammar." states Cammy.
"Cammy, I don't really appreciate your snide remarks." says Chris.
"Dude, I'm not trying to be snide, I'm just saying--" says Cammy.
"La, la, la, is somebody talking? Because all I hear is a farting noise. Pfffft." mocks Chris.
"Hey, man, are we ever gonna actually do a challenge?" whispers Donny.
"I don't know, mate. He's been standin' here for like an hour." says Vincent.
"Yeah, man, I'm gettin' kinda bored." says Donny. "I feel like goin' to bed." He stares over at Vincent, who is asleep on the ground. "All right, then."
"Hey, Chelsey, have you ever had a boyfriend?" asks Elle.
"No, I've been single my whole life." says Chelsey sarcastically.
"Well, I have the thing for you. This attracts boys every day. When I wore it, I got like seven boyfriends." says Elle. She pulls out a hairy thing from her backpack.
"What the fudgeballs is that?" asks Northworth, who approaches the girls.
"It's a Snooki wig. It attracts the opposite gender!" says Elle happily.
"No way am I wearing that." says Chelsey, and she walks away.
"Hey, Southworth, do you want Snooki boobies?" asks Elle. "They're inflatable."
"You disturb me." says Northworth, and he evacuates.
"So, have you ever been to summer camp?" asks Mattie.
"Oh, yeah, I love it there! I quit going when I was six, though." says Abbey.
"You seem all right. But, I must ask you, why are you so rude to boys?" asks Mattie.
"I'm not sexist or anything, I just really don't want a boyfriend, and I do not appreciate boys using me for my looks." says Abbey.
"I haven't had a boyfriend in forever." says Mattie.
"That Toad kid sure seems to like you." says Abbey.
"Yeah, well, he's three feet tall and he looks like a four year old. I'm deathly afraid of four year olds." says Mattie.
"How nice." says Abbey.
"Hey, man, show me how to do those cool skateboard tricks." says Antoine.
"I don't know, dude, you might get injured." says Trick hesitantly.
"Come on, man." says Antoine, and he gets onto Trick's skateboard.
"Irving doesn't like everyone." says Trick cautiously. "He's a little moody today. On the way here, he called me a rude word."
"Come on, man." says Antoine again. He begins to skateboard, but falls and breaks his glasses. "Aw, dang it!"
"See, man, I told you. But we're still bros." says Trick.
"Aw, dude, these glasses cost..." says Antoine. He then realizes that there's an extra pair in his pocket, and puts them on. "Better."
"All right, bro-migo, if you wanna get buff like yours truly, ya have to learn how to fight." says Gustavo.
"Oh, please." scoffs Dolph.
"C'mon, arm wrestle me, mon." says Gustavo. "I swear, I'll go easy."
"All right, fine." says Dolph hesitantly. "Hey, Kim, wanna be our score-keeper?"
"Sure, but I am not responsible for any injuries or broken limbs that occur, jus' lettin' you know." says Kim.
Dolph and Gustavo start to arm-wrestle. After about a second, Dolph falls onto the ground, unconscious.
"You killed him." says Kim.
"Eh, no I didn't." says Gustavo. "Look, he's gettin' up."
"I don't like you, Gus." says Dolph weakly, as he gets off the ground.
Tasia is asleep on the ground. Ori and Lizza approach her.
"Now, whatever you do, don't wake her up. I have to draw a mustache on her face." says Ori evilly.
"Aww, I like mustaches!" screams Lizza. "My mom has a mustache!"
"Shut up!" hisses Ori. "Now, don't say a word..."
"FISH CAKES!" screams Lizza.
Tasia groggily wakes up. "What's goin' on heeeere?"
"That turd was gonna draw on your face!" screams Lizza, who is bouncing around.
"No, I wasn't. She had more caffeine and is just acting loopy again." says Ori.
"Bullying isn't nice, duuuude." says Tasia.
"But, I wasn't, I didn't--" says Ori.
"Talk to th' haaaand." says Tasia ignorantly.
PJ is sitting on the ground.
The camera moves to Kavren, Toad, and MacKenzie.
"Hey, MacKenzie, you're hot." says Toad.
"I've been told." says MacKenzie in an annoyed tone.
"Dude, that's not how you talk to girls." says Kavren. "Let me show ya, bro."
"Kavren, I'm trying not to be mean, but I don't really appreciate the company." says MacKenzie.
"Whatevs." says an annoyed Kavren. He whispers a curse to Toad.
"All right, everyone, we've come up with a plan for today's challenge!" says Chris.
"Finally." says Northworth.
"If we were to do a talent show, what kinds of things would you do?" asks Chris.
Donny takes out his ponytail holder, revealing a mass of green hair. He begins to flip it about. "I whip my hair back and forth! I whip my hair back and forth!" he sings.
"That's kind of disturbing, dude." says Chris.
"California gurls, we're unforgettable, daisy dukes, bikinis on top." sings Vincent.
"I hate that song." groans Chris.
Lizza begins to break dance violently.
"Ugh, I don't think we're gonna be able to do a talent show." says Chris. "So, let's do plan B. You guys are gonna compete in a cook-off!"
"What now?" asks Northworth.
"Each team will prepare a complete meal in the fanciest restaurant in town. You can choose what style of food you can make, just make it edible. At the end of the challenge, we'll bring in five customers who will decide which team's food they like better. The winning team gets invincibility, and the losing team has to vote someone off. Now, come with me." says Chris, and he leads the kids to an enormous and spacious restaurant.
"Whoa, this place is a beaut." says Antoine. "I love cooking."
"BWAHAHAHA!" laughs Northworth obnoxiously.
"What, is something funny?" asks Antoine.
"Um, yeah, kinda..." says Northworth in between tears of rude laughter. "Boys aren't supposed to like cooking!"
"That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard." says Cammy. "It's okay, Antoine, I think that it's kinda cool. You can help us win."
"Yeah, man, what kind of food do you like to cook?" asks Trick.
"I like French food." says Antoine. "C'est vrai, Antoine est un cuisinière chouette!"
"I have no idea what you just said." says Elle. "But it sounded great!"
"Yeah, I agree." says Chelsey. "With a team member that knows French, we're bound to win."
"All right, guys, you have two hours to complete a meal. Begin!" says Chris.
The Dancing Bugs are thinking of ideas.
"Allrighteveryone, I'mafantasticchefsoyouguysshouldhavemeasyourheadchef." says Lizza, while bouncing about angrily.
"I did not understand a word you just said." says Kim.
"Me neither, a'ight?" asks Vincent.
"Hey, duuuuuudes, let's listen to her. She may be comin' up with something cooooool." says Tasia, on the ground.
"Why are you on the ground?" asks Dolph.
"I don't knooooow, mate. I don't knooooow." groans Tasia.
"Yeah, just leave her alone." says Gustavo. "Hey, looks like our hyper team captain has already made the first dish."
"Here ya go!" screams Lizza, holding up something that looks like dung with parsley on it.
"Is that crap?" asks Donny.
"I think so." whispers Vincent. "I think she put some parsley on it."
"I'm totally not tasting that." says Abbey. "It looks disgusting."
"So do you, ugly Betty." says Ori. "Your shirt is gross, too."
"Evidently he's in his not-nice form." whispers Mattie. Abbey nods.
The Epic Platypi are doing very well.
"All right, guys, the baguette should be almost ready." says Antoine.
"Baguette? Is that like a girl bag?" asks Kavren.
"Um, no, it's a type of bread, you Dumbellina." says Northworth.
"Don't be too harsh on the little guy." says MacKenzie.
"Dude, he's not little. He's taller than me, idiot." says Northworth.
MacKenzie smiles nervously. She whispers to Trick, "Nice team we have here." Trick nods.
"Everyone, the baguette is out of the oven." says Antoine, pulling out a piece of bread.
"Mmm, I heard that those things make your boobs big." says Elle, and she eats it up.
"Elle, you idiot!" screams Cammy.
"I'm sorry, I just wanna have a healthier body." says Elle.
"Bigger boobs do not make you look healthier!" screams Cammy.
"Um, actually, they do." says Chelsey, pointing to her chest.
PJ sits there awkwardly.
"I really have nothing to say about this conversation." says Antoine.
"Mmmmm, I do." says Toad excitedly.
"I'm gonna go take a leak." says Trick. "You guys have issues."
"Let me come with." says Antoine.
The two go to the bathroom, running as fast as they can.
On the other side, Lizza is trying to make sushi.
"All right, everyone, I love sushi! Sushi is amazing! Let me make it! Please! Please! Please! Ple--" says Lizza.
Kim puts her hand over her mouth. "Shut up."
"Aw, come on! Do you want to try my dung and parsley dish instead? Come on! Eat it! Pleeeease!" says Lizza.
"I think I'm getting a migraine." says Donny, who clutches his forehead.
"I'm with ya, mate." says Vincent.
Chris walks into the kitchen. "Guys, I think it's time for judging."
"Ugh, already?" asks Abbey. "We basically did nothing."
"Our hyper little frenemy, Lizza, controlled the kitchen." says Dolph.
Gustavo cracks his knuckles and mutters an inappropriate word.
"All right, everyone, we have five customers." says Chris. "Let's meet them."
A smug-looking and short redhead comes into the restaurant, followed by a tough-looking girl with a skull tattoo, a freckly blonde girl with a track sweatshirt, a pretty girl with literally red hair, and a squat Japanese dude.
"Okay, each customer gets to try the two meals. Chef, if you please?" asks Chris.
Chef comes out with the two meals. The Epic Platypi have crepes, a baguette, some fancy French cheese, and a side of eclairs, while the Dancing Bugs have a greenish flabby thing that looks like a cross between mac 'n' cheese and dung.
"Yeah, ours is totally the best." says Mattie sarcastically. "What what?"
The redhead customer eats both, then vomits. "That mac 'n' cheese thing was the worst thing in my entire life. I'll take five of the French meals, please."
The tough looking customer eats the Platypi's meal. "I don't even want to eat the other thing. It's too nasty to be called food."
The freckly blonde girl eats both. "I think I'm gonna have atomic diarrhea."
The pretty red haired girl eats the Bugs' meal, then starts crying and runs away.
The squat Japanese dude eats the nasty dung thing. "I actually like this better." he says. "And no, I'm not just saying that so I can be different. Well, maybe I am. See ya. Off to play some Call of Pooty: White Pops."
Everyone stands there awkwardly.
"I think we have a winner!" says Chris. "Other team, vote out someone."
The two teams are now at the dining hall. Donny and the other boys of the Dancing Bugs are discussing girls.
"So, who's the best looker here?" asks Ori.
"We don't have any good ones, except that Mattie girl. I want to have her babies." says Dolph smugly.
"Good luck wit' that." says Vincent. "I like that MacKenzie girl on the other team."
"Good luck wit' that." says Dolph, repeating the same thing that Vincent said.
"I think Chelsey is the hottest girl here by far. I mean, I don't just think she's hot. I kinda have a crush." says Donny.
"But she's, like, snobby an' mean." says Vincent.
"Dolph, Ori, and I are snobby an' mean. An' you're still talkin' to us." says Gustavo. "I wonder if Chelsey likes pants?"
"♪ Gotta get pants! Go get your pants! Button, fly! ♪" sings Donny.
Tasia is getting drunk on water. "Duuuuuuude, do you know how much water I should be drinkin'?"
"♪ 8 ounces, 8 glasses, 8 days a week! ♪" sings Donny.
"Wow, you sure do have a lot of musical lessons." says Mattie, overhearing their conversation. "I think it's cute."
Vincent pokes Donny. "Go for her, she's better than Chelsey."
Chelsey is watching Elle burp Snooki's most famous quotes.
"I learned how to do that a while ago." says Elle proudly.
"Guuuuuuuurl." says Chelsey.
"Yeah, you should go for Mattie." says Vincent. "Trust me, mate."
The Epic Platypi boys are focusing on something different: bathroom humor.
Kavren farts, then laughs.
"That was kind of an epic one." says Trick.
"Nah, nah." says Antoine. "Lemme show ya how it's done." Antoine farts very loudly.
"That's gross." says Abbey from the other table. "Stupid boys and their insipid potty humor."
Toad does a wimpy little fart. "BRRM."
"You call that a fart?" asks Northworth. "My mom can fart better than that."
"Aw, shut up, dude. This whole time, you've done nothing except insult others. You know, I have a million things I could say about you." says Trick.
"Like what, butt?" asks Northworth.
"You're skinny and short. Your ears are too big. Your neck is like a giraffe. You have an ugly scar on your neck. Your torso is big and your legs are little, like Duncan. Sagging does not look good on you. Buzz-cuts are stupid. You have too many freckles. Your voice is weird. You're too skinny. You're--" says Trick.
"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I GET IT." says Northworth. "Gawsh."
"See, man? Stop making fun of others, and I'll stop." says Trick.
"Fine, dude." says Northworth. "I'm gonna go to sleep."
"It's only 6:30." says Kavren.
"Who cares?" asks Northworth.
"I'm just saying, you should probably..." says Kavren. Northworth is asleep. "Okay then. Hey, didn't that happen earlier with Donny and Vincent?"
"We're only two chapters in and the author is already repeating jokes." says Antoine.
"What a desperate loser." says Trick.
The girls are trying to sing.
"I'm Elle-riffic! So, so, so terrific! I'm fa-fa-famous! Famous!" sings Elle.
"Yesterday was Thursday. Today it is Friday." sings Chelsey.
"..." says PJ.
"Hey, do you ever talk?" asks Elle.
PJ mutters something.
"Come on, we won't hurt you." says Cammy. "Well, Tacgnol will, but we won't."
"Muh." says PJ.
"OMG, you talked." says Cammy. "Nice going."
"..." says PJ again.
The Dancing Bugs are in their dorm, trying to figure out who to vote out.
"All right, mates, we're voting a girl out, right?" asks Dolph.
"Um, yeah. Last two seasons' first outs were dudes." says Donny.
"It doesn't matter what gender they are, it's how they play the game." says Ori sweetly.
"Shut up, chicken cup." says Gustavo groggily. "I voted for that Liz girl, or whatever her name is. I'm goin' to beddy-bye."
"Good idea. Lizza's an annoying little beast." says Vincent.
"Hey, guys!" screams Lizza, walking up to them. "I just had, like, fifty Mountain Fizzes. Now I'm even more CA-RAY-ZAY!!!!"
Gustavo wakes up and slaps his forehead.
Chris is at the elimination ceremony. "Tonight, you guys will get remainders of the food challenge for your invincibility passes. The first one of the season goes to Tasia." He passes some slimy mac 'n' cheese to her.
"Yeah, duuuuude." says Tasia. "Another daaay."
"Vincent, Gustavo, and Dolph are safe." says Chris, and they get their mac 'n' cheese.
"Ugh, I thought we would never have to see this again." says Dolph.
"Kim, Abbey, Donny, and Mattie." says Chris. "Come and get your mac 'n' cheese, girls."
Donny, who was called a girl, rolls his eves.
"Ori and Lizza. Both of you got some votes. The final mac 'n' cheese goes to..."
"Ori."
"Great job, you slimy idiot. I'm safe. You guys learned a lesson tonight, never vote for Ori Gerard!" he shouts.
"What? Why me? I thought I was cool! I'm like the most well-liked contestant!" says Lizza hyperly.
"No you're not. Everyone hates you." says Gustavo.
"Fine then. Be that way. I guess..." says Lizza, and she gets onto the Taxi of Losers, which drives away.
"Good riddance." says Vincent.
"Who will be second to go? Find out in the next action packed episode of Total Drama Revoluuuution!" says Chris.
Chapter 3 - The League of Extra Ordinary Gentlemen
"Blah blah blah, last time on Total Drama, the kids cooked. Yeah, that's all I can remember. Heck, I don't even know the season's name." says Chef.
Chris walks in. "Chef, what are you doing?" he asks.
"Yo, man, you said you wanted me to do the intro." says Chef.
"No, I said that you should do anything but the intro." says Chris.
"All righ'. I'll leave." says Chef, and he walks away, cursing.
"Last time on Total Drama Revolution..." begins Chris, "The two teams competed in a brutal cooking challenge. The Epic Platypi made some amazing French cuisine thanks to Chef Antoine, and the Dancing Bugs kind of failed. They voted out their weakest, and most annoying, team member Lizza. Only nineteen campers remain. Who will be voted out next? Find out now, on Total... Drama... Revolution!"
"Hey, Chris." says Antoine, walking up to him. "We just stayed in the restaurants' bathrooms last night. When are you gonna show us our real cabins?"
"Glad you asked, boy." says Chris. "This way, everyone, if you please."
"What the noodles is this about?" grumbles Northworth.
"I'm showing you your new rooms, so don't sass me." says Chris. "Here's the Bugs' room."
Chris leads the Dancing Bugs to a room with a lava lamp, lots of hip beds, and new-wave patterns on the walls.
"Sweetness." says Northworth.
"This place is lax." says Vincent.
"I know, right? I could totally chill here all day." says Donny.
"Well, the challenge is in half an hour, so you don't have that much time. There's string cheese in the fridge, by the way." says Chris.
"I LOVE STRING CHEESE!" yells Vincent. "This place is getting better an' better, eh?"
"I'm gonna go to sleep. Don't bother me." says Dolph.
"Now that Lizza's gone, nobody can bother you." says Gustavo.
"Except for maybe Tasia." says Dolph.
"Bullying's not nice, duuuude." says Tasia, who's burrowing into blankets.
"What is she doing?" asks Mattie.
"I don't know, but she has issues." says Abbey.
"Mmm, just ignore her." says Kim.
"You guys were very courteous of each other last challenge. I really like my team." says Ori.
"Aw, shut it." says Gustavo.
"What? I'm trying to be sweet and kind." says Ori.
"Yeah, but we know you're going to go back to 'Blargh! You're stupid!'" says Dolph.
"You are not acting like a gentleman right now." says Ori, and mutters a "Hmph!"
"All right, Platypi, here's your room." says Chris.
"This room is crap." says Northworth.
"Dude, you said you liked the Bugs' room, and it's exactly like this one." says Trick.
"I have changes in my feelings." says Northworth.
"Hey, check it out, man, an arcade game." says Antoine. "It looks like Galaxy Invaders."
"Dude, I love that game! I used to play it all the time when I was like six." says Trick.
"That game is chill, bro." says Kavren.
"What's with the weird slang goin' on here?" asks Toad.
"Don't know, man. Don't know." says Antoine, shaking his head.
"What's your favorite color, guys?" asks MacKenzie to the other girls.
"Pink." says Chelsey.
"Leopard-print." says Elle.
"Puce." says PJ quietly.
"I'm colorblind." says Cammy.
"Aww, no you're not. Stop lying." says Elle.
"No, I'm serious." says Cammy seriously.
"What color is the trophy on my shirt?" asks Elle.
"Orange." says Cammy.
"Oh, maybe you weren't kidding." says Elle quietly.
Cammy says in the confessional, "Ha-ha, suckers."
"Hey, MacKenzie." blushes Toad, walking quietly up to her.
"Oh, look, the first ever couple of the season! How nice." says Chelsey rudely.
"Can it, Chels. Give 'em a chance." whispers Elle.
"What would you like, Toad?" asks MacKenzie, obviously trying to be nice.
"Umm, I just wanted to say hi..." says Toad.
Northworth makes a farting noise. Elle and Chelsey laugh obnoxiously.
Toad says in the confessional, "I want that MacKenzie girl so badly. But I don't think she likes me."
"Really?" asks Northworth, poking his head in.
"Shut up." says Toad.
"All right, guys." says Chris, rudely coming into the Platypi's room. "Time for your second challenge."
"I wonder what it is." whispers Antoine. Trick nods.
Outside, Chris is explaining the challenge. "Now, as you may or may not know, Revolution City is a prime place for sage-like gentlemen to hang out."
"What do you mean exactly, by 'gentlemen'?" asks Dolph.
"Let me explain the challenge." snaps Chris. "Anyways, the gentlemen know a lot about this city. It's your job to find and catch the four gentlemen. There are many places in the city, so it may be hard. But who cares? The first team to catch at least three gentlemen wins invincibility!"
"This should be a piece of cake." says Mattie.
"Oh, here's some burlap sacks." says Chris, tossing each contestant a big sack.
"Hey, wasn't there the exact same challenge last season, except with tikis?" asks Vincent.
"Ummmmm, no..." says Chris. "Now, get started. The gentlemen are being paid-- I mean, waiting."
Vincent and Donny are walking together.
"Say, Donny, it looks like there's a smoothie place over there. Wanna stop by and get some?" asks Vincent.
"I love smoothies, man, but we should participate in the challenge." says Donny.
"It says that they're 1/2 priced today." says Vincent.
Donny runs up to the smoothie guy. "Hey, can we have a large Mango Twist and a medium Kiwi Breeze?"
"Sure, man. Coming right up." says the smoothie guy.
"All right, we'll quickly drink these smoothies, then back to the challenge." says Vincent.
Five minutes later, the boys are all done.
"Hey, that was good. I want another one." says Donny.
"Aw, come on, mate! We have to get a gentleman!" says Vincent.
"One more Kiwi Breeze." says Donny to the smoothie guy.
"Whatever." says the smoothie guy frustratedly.
A gentleman with a purple suit and a blatantly fake mustache comes up to them.
"Hey, look, a gentleman." says Donny.
"Yo, yo, yo! I mean, greetings." says the gentleman. His pants fall down.
"I wonder who it could be?" asks Vincent sarcastically.
Donny rips off the gentleman's mustache.
"Hey, yo, my mustache! Give it back, homie! I ain't gettin' paid much fo' this, word!" says Devin.
"Fine, but get into th' sack." says Vincent, and pushes the "gentleman" into the sack.
Elle, Chelsey, Cammy, and MacKenzie are having no luck. PJ is stalking them quietly.
"That fat gentleman got away. Ugh." says Chelsey.
"I wish Tacgnol could come in and kill him." says Cammy.
"Bla-ha-ha-ha!" screams a shrimpy gentleman in a green suit, running past.
"GET HIM!" yells Elle.
"You'll never catch me alive!" says the gentleman. He runs away, and closer to Mattie and Abbey.
"So, ever had a boyfriend?" asks Abbey.
"Yeah, just this one kid a really long time ago. But he was cheating on me..." says Mattie.
"Bwahaha!" screams the gentleman, galloping past the girls.
"C'mon, Abbey, we finally found one!" says Mattie.
The gentleman stops.
"Wait..." he says. "Did you just say Abbey?"
"Um, yeah, that's my name." says Abbey.
"My best friend is named Abby! Wanna meet her?" asks the gentleman.
"That's no gentleman." says Mattie. "It's Nic."
"What? Who is this 'Nic' you speak of? That name is otherworldly to me! Come on, Abby, show yourself." says the gentleman.
"I'm not in the mood." says Mattie.
The gentleman rips off his shirt, revealing a ribby belly.
"Yup, it's Nic. Get in the sack." says Mattie.
"Wanna go out with me?" asks Nic.
"Gross." says Abbey.
Tasia is asleep on the ground.
"Come on, you have to help me catch the gentlemen." says Kim, poking her.
"Nooooo..." says Tasia woozily.
A gentleman with an awkward nose, an afro wig, a black suit, and braces walks by.
"Hmmm, where have I seen him before?" asks Kim.
"Over 10,000!" says the gentleman.
"Get in th' bag, Gary." says Kim.
"Who's this Gary?" asks the gentleman.
"This is the worst challenge ever." says Kim.
"I knooooow, riiiight?" says Tasia.
The gentleman runs away.
Ori is walking about and sees a sack.
"Hm, funny that someone would just leave a sack right in the middle of nowhere." he says.
The sack rustles.
"I wonder what's in there?" asks Ori. He moves closer to the sack.
"BLARGH!" screams a morbidly obese gentleman, with no shirt and a fake beard.
"AAAAAAUGH!" screams Ori.
"You will never catch me!" says the gentleman.
He runs out of the sack, revealing that he is censored and naked.
"Ewwww..." says Ori, passing out.
Kavren, Trick, and Antoine are at a fast food place.
"Y'know, we should really start to find gentlemen." says Trick, eating a hamburger.
"Nah, these fries are good." says Antoine.
"I like this ketchup." says Kavren, drinking a bottle of ketchup.
"Oh lawd, dat's nasty." says Antoine.
The big-nosed gentleman quietly walks by.
"Shhh." says Kavren, and he tiptoes by the gentleman.
"EEK!" screams the gentleman.
"Wow, this show has a lot of screaming, am I right?" asks Trick.
"Totally." says Antoine.
The gentleman has Kavren in a headlock.
"He just got served." says Antoine.
Kavren finally manages to stuff the gentleman in a bag.
"There, got it!" he says.
"Mmrpht." says the gentleman, in the bag.
"I think we got him." says Antoine. "Now, let's go."
Chris meets almost everyone back at the center of town.
"Everyone's here, right?" he asks.
"Where are Vincent and Donny?" asks Dolph.
Vincent and Donny are still at the smoothie place.
"Sirs, you've ordered like 10 smoothies. Can you leave now?" asks the angry smoothie guy.
"I'm so fat I can't get up." says Vincent.
"And the challenge is over." says Donny.
"Meh, let's just wait here for a few minutes..." says Vincent.
Donny yawns and falls asleep.
"You know, I'm suing you if you don't leave." says the smoothie guy. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1..."
Vincent and Donny sprint away.
"All right, time to spend all that money that they paid me with on some inappropriate magazines." says the smoothie guy after the two have left.
The two teams are still gathered in the center of town, but now with Vincent and Donny.
"Time to count up your gentlemen." says Chris.
Vincent pulls the sack out of his shirt, somehow, and dumps out the first gentleman, who is not wearing pants.
"Go home, Devin." says Chris.
"Aw, c'mon, G! Why can't th' Dev-ster compete in th' new season, yo?" asks Devin.
"GO HOME." says Chris.
Devin sadly walks away.
Mattie and Abbey pull out the second gentleman from their sack.
"All right, Nic, here's $20. Time to leave." says Chris.
"Good-bye. We shall meet again." says Nic to Abbey, and he then makes a clicking noise and runs away.
Ori dumps out the fat, third gentleman.
"I'm morbidly obeeeese!" screams the gentleman.
"Arthur, put on some clothes." says Chris. "And leave."
"Fiiiine." says Arthur, and he trots away.
Trick, Kavren, and Antoine take out the last gentleman.
"Oh, man, I love LOLcats! Over nine thousand! Nyan Cat! Annoying Grape!" says the gentleman.
"Bye, Gary." says Chris.
"See ya guys later." says Gary happily.
"All right, the Dancing Bugs have won with three gentlemen captured!" says Chris.
"But they weren't even really gentlemen." says Gustavo.
"So what? We needed challenge ideas. Chef thought of it." says Chris.
Chef whistles innocently.
The Epic Platypi are in their dorm, trying to figure out who to boot.
"I say Trick. He's smart, talented, and..." shudders Northworth. "Hot."
"That boy is quite the looker." says Elle.
"Yeah, and he does seem popular with the team. I first thought skaters were all social outcasts, but he proved me otherwise." says Chelsey.
"He's stupid, and he's dead meat." says Northworth.
Trick and Antoine are playing a racing game on their TV.
"What was that?" asks Trick.
"I think he wants to vote you out." says Antoine.
"Vote that silent girl out." says Trick.
"Hey, guys, whatcha talkin' 'bout?" asks Toad.
"Stuff." says Antoine, "YES! FINAL LAP!"
Chris is at the elimination ceremony. "Today, we have Gilded Chrises, for some unknown reason. Chef's idea, I think."
Chef grimaces from the Taxi of Losers.
"Chelsey, Elle, Antoine, Trick, and Toad are all safe." says Chris. The five get their Gilded Chrises.
"Yay!" says Chelsey. "This will totally raise my popularity."
"Cammy, Kavren, and MacKenzie." says Chris. The three get their Gilded Chrises.
"Bloop pork." says Kavren.
"What?" asks MacKenzie.
"Ha, only the cool kids know." says Kavren coolly.
"PJ and Northworth..." says Chris. "You both received a ton of votes. The final Chris goes to..."
"Northworth."
"In your face, you Dumbellinas!" says Northworth.
"..." says PJ, and leaves on the Taxi of Losers.
"That girl creeped me out." says Toad.
"What an uneventful elimination. Anyways, tune in next time for more, I guess." says Chris.
Chapter 4 - Take a Skit
Chris and Chef are at a grocery store.
"Hey, did you get th' beans?" asks Chef.
"Chef, we're filming right now. Too much information." says Chris.
"Aw, man. I just need some to soothe my stomach." says Chef.
"Just let me do the intro." says Chris.
"If you let me do it, I'll give you 50 bucks." says Chef.
"No." says Chris. "Last time on Total Drama Revolution, the teams captured gentlemen in the city. The Dancing Bugs won, but two of their members were acting extremely lazy during the challenge. The Epic Platypi voted out PJ, because I guess she creeped them out. Let's see what they're up to at the moment."
Northworth wakes up in the Platypi cabin. "It's my birthday, you scum-suckers, so you better be nice to me."
"How old are you? Five?" asks a groggy Kavren.
"17, you turd." says Northworth. "What's with all the rudeness?"
"Nobody likes you." says a voice from under the sheets.
"Whoever said that, they're probably ugly and they're gonna die alone." says Northworth.
Chelsey emerges from the sheets.
"Oh, I take that back. Sorry, babe." says Northworth. "Anyways, where are my presents?"
"Here's a 'present'." says Toad. He pulls his pants and underwear down.
"Eww, an arse!" says Northworth. "You sicko!"
"Squirrels in my pants." says Antoine coolly.
Northworth sticks up his middle finger at Antoine.
"Way to be dirty." says Antoine. "Now, I'mma polish my sunglasses." He walks into the bathroom.
Elle and Chelsey are whispering about something.
"What are you simple-suds whispering about?" asks Northworth.
"Aw, nothin'." says Elle.
"What's in my pants...?" asks Northworth. "I feel something tickly.
"Squirrels?" asks a voice from the bathroom.
"No, it's a..." says Northworth. He pulls a boa constrictor out of my pants. "AAAAAAUGH!!"
"XD." says Cammy.
"Not funny, you candy butts." says Northworth. "You could have gotten me killed."
"That's a good thing." says Trick.
"Guys, be nice to the little dude. It's his birthday." says MacKenzie.
Trick says in the confessional, "Nah. I don't think anyone likes Northworth, except MacKenzie, because she likes everyone."
The Dancing Bugs are in their awesome hotel.
"I love the game 'Extremely Mad Avians.' It's fun to watch birds kill pigs." says Dolph, concentrating on his uPod Touch.
"That's not niiiice, maaaaaan." says Tasia, who is on the ground.
"Can I step on you?" asks Kim.
Kim says in the confessional, "Tasia would make a great alliance member, but the problem is, she's always on the ground, laughing woozily."
Vincent and Donny are locked in the bathroom.
"Aw, shucks, why did Kim have to lock us in here last night?" asks Donny.
"We were singing 'Born This Way' for five hours." says Vincent.
"Yeah, but there's a poopy smell in here." says Donny.
"Why don't you flush the toilet?" asks Vincent.
"You clogged it yesterday." says Donny.
"Oh yeah, when I ate all those bananas?" asks Vincent.
"Yup." says Donny, rolling his eyes.
Chris comes in, knocking the door down with a sledgehammer.
"Time for the challenge." he says.
"Aw, thank goodness. We were locked in here for days." says Donny.
"THANK YOU!" screams Vincent, hugging Chris.
"The challenge is in the auditorium." says Chris, ignoring Vincent's hug.
At the auditorium, Chris explains the challenge.
"Each team simply has to make and perform a skit." he says.
"Sounds easy enough." shrugs Gustavo.
"There must be at least one musical number, and everyone must have some sort of costume." says Chris.
"Gustavo, you idiot, you just jinxed it!" screams Ori.
"'Ey, man, take a chill pill." says Gustavo.
Mattie whispers, "Which boy would you rather date?"
"Eww, I hate boys." says Abbey.
"All right, guys, get to work." says Chris. He then leaves.
The Platypi are brainstorming.
"Oh, I have an idea!" says Cammy.
"What is it?" asks Northworth. "I mean, it will probably suck, but go on."
"We all dress up in bikinis and sing 'California Gurls'." says Cammy.
"Even the boys?" asks Antoine.
"Um, sure." says Cammy.
"YESSS!" screams Kavren.
Everyone stares at him awkwardly.
"I mean, California Gurls is an amazing song." says Kavren. "Daisy dukes, bikinis on top..."
"We know what you mean." says Chelsey.
"Hey, has anyone seen Toad lately?" asks Elle.
Toad randomly pops out of nowhere, wearing a dorky wig, saggy pants, and a purple sweatshirt.
"I'm DUSTIN NUTRIA!" he screams.
"Ha-ha, that's not funny." says Northworth.
"I'm gonna dress up as someone else. And watch, you're gonna find it funny." says Toad, disappearing.
Kavren comes out dressed as a giant banana.
"Where did you get that?!" asks Antoine.
"Found it in the closet over there." says Kavren.
"ZOMG. I WANT ONE." says Cammy excitedly.
The Dancing Bugs are having a harder time coming up with ideas for their play.
"How about, we have a guy in sunglasses, with a bunch of gorillas behind him." says Donny.
"That's weeeeeird, maaaaaan." says Tasia.
"All right, then how about a weird lady with jutting out cheekbones, dancing around in nothing but a bra and underwear." says Donny.
"Are you okay?" asks Kim.
"How about a weird kid with a freakishly high voice in a bowling alley, singing repetitive lyrics and flirting with girls who are like ten years older than him?" asks Donny.
"You need mental help." says Gustavo.
Donny glares at Kim, Tasia, and Gustavo.
"Hmph. Try coming up with better ideas yourselves." he says.
"How about a young girl singing unnecessarily cheesy lyrics about the best day of the week, while a creepy guy raps?" asks Dolph.
"Y'know, that's not a bad idea." says Vincent.
"Who wants to be the creepy rapper?" asks Dolph.
Everyone looks at Donny.
"All right, I'll be the rapper." says Donny.
"Can I be the girl?" asks Mattie.
"No, the girl has to be ugly. And you're anything but." Dolph winks at Mattie.
"Who can be the girl, then?" asks Abbey.
Vincent makes a clicking noise.
"Oh, god." says Ori.
The girls on the Platypi team are changing.
"Hey, if any of the boys, particularly Northworth or Toad, come in, kill them." says Elle.
"I'm on it." says Chelsey.
Toad comes in.
"Elle told me to kill you if you walked in." says Chelsey.
"I'm not Toad." he says, and he's wearing a blonde wig and a meat dress, "I'm LADY GAGA!"
"Not funny, again." says Chelsey.
"Dang it!" says Toad loudly.
"Hey Toad, Elle's wearing a cupcake bikini." says Kavren, still in his banana costume.
"Let me see." drools Toad.
"No, she's changing," says a voice sounding like Antoine. "Leave her be."
"You don't like Elle when she's changing." says a voice sounding like Trick.
Kavren pulls open the curtain, but Elle is not wearing a shirt.
"AAAH!" screams Elle.
"Boobies..." says Kavren dreamily.
"Aw, man, a X-Treme Torture repeat." says Cammy.
"Those are no fun." says MacKenzie.
Elle quickly puts a towel on, while screaming and saying naughty things.
"That was not cool, man. Your popularity just dropped." says Chelsey.
Chris meets the contestants at the front of the amphitheater.
"All right, guys, ready to start?" asks Chris. "Dancing Bugs can go first."
A loud whisper is heard.
"Oh yeah, did I mention our third judge besides me and Chef?" asks Chris.
Helga comes out with a pad and pencil.
"Oh, lord." says Kavren.
"I'm super-critical today, so I better be a little entertained here." says Helga snidely.
"And, begin." says Chris.
Ori walks out, pushing a bed. Mattie and Abbey come out with furniture also. The three then go backstage.
Vincent comes out, wearing a horrific girl's costume consisting of a black wig, a tanktop, and glittery pants. He also has a hairy, fake pimple.
Horribly bubbly pop music starts playing.
"7 A.M, wakin' up in the mornin'. Gotta get dressed, gonna go downstairs! Gotta get my bowl, gonna have oatmeal! Then I'mma vomit in the toilet bowl! Punch my sister, in the groin. Now I gotta get down to the bus stop. I don't see a bus, but I see Donny!" sings Vincent.
Donny pulls up in a blatantly fake car, with a beanie, bling and sunglasses on.
"He's rappin' in the front seat. Tasia's in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up, which seat can I taaaaaaaake?" asks Vincent.
"Stop singing, and get in m' car." says Donny.
"It's Friday! Friday! Gotta drink booze on Friday!" sings Vincent.
"Keep it PG." whispers Donny.
"Oh yeah. Everyone's lookin' forward to the weekend! Partyin', partyin'!" sings Vincent.
"Yeah!" screams everyone.
"Partyin', partyin'!" sings Vincent.
"Yeah!" screams everyone again.
"Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fu--" says Vincent.
"There were only four "fun"s, I think." says Donny.
"Lookin' forward to the weekend." says Vincent.
Abbey and Mattie quickly make the scene change to night.
"Yesterday was Thursday." says Vincent.
"Captain Obvious..." says Helga rudely from the audience.
"Today, it is Friday. Wii, wii, wii, I just played my Wii. I am excited. And have a crush on Princess Peach. Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwaaaards..." says Vincent. "I don't want this weekend to eeeeeend..."
"V-M, Vincent Mackiewicz!" raps Donny. "Chillin' in the front side, and the back seat, we're drivin', cruisin' fast lanes, switchin' lanes. I'm Donny J. Bouton. Yeah, I see a school bus in front of me, throw eggs at it, go on a killin' spree, everyone's having fun, fun, fun on Friday, Friday!"
"Fun, fun, fun, fun." says Vincent, and he bows.
"Good enough." says Helga from the audience, once everyone is done clapping.
"All right, next up is the Epic Platypi, but I don't know if they even have a skit." says Chris.
"Oh, we do." says Antoine, who's sitting at a table, wearing a button-down shirt, only it's unbuttoned.
"Let's begin." says Chris.
"Greetings, loved ones." says Antoine. "It's time to get smexy..."
"I..." sings Chelsey, in a cupcake bikini, "Know a place."
"Where the boys are really--" sings Elle, also in a cupcake bikini.
"PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" sings Kavren obnoxiously, dancing about in his banana costume.
Trick, in a bikini, calls Kavren something rude.
Toad comes out wearing a purple mohawk wig. "I'm VINCENT!" he says.
"Not a great impression." says Vincent, still in his costume.
Helga leaves, rolling her eyes and muttering things.
"I think I know who just won." says Chris.
The Bugs cheer.
"Platypi, time for elimination." says Chris.
"You idiots just lost? Again? Now, I have no idea who to vote out and it's my friggin' birthday. Thanks a lot, you tards." says Northworth angrily.
Cammy says in the confessional, "I'm gonna vote Northworth. Man, that kid pisses me off."
Elle says in the confessional, "Snooki!"
Chelsey says in the confessional, "Kavren, that little pest."
Chris is at the elimination ceremony. "Tonight, we have little Vincent figurines. They go to Antoine, Toad, Trick, and Elle."
The four get their figurines.
"Chelsey, MacKenzie, Cammy." says Chris.
The three girls get their figurines.
"Kavren and Northworth, you both screwed up in the challenge today. But the final figurine goes to..."
"Kavren."
Kavren, still in his banana suit, sticks his tongue out at Northworth.
"All right. Are you friggin' kidding me? You idiots voted me out on my birthday? You little @#$%es better wish you had never been born, because--"
Chris pushes Northworth into the Taxi of Losers, and it drives away.
"FFFFUUUU--" yells Northworth from inside the taxi.
"See you next time, I guess." says Chris.
Chapter 5 - All Hell Breaks Loose
Chris is in a spa, lying on a table with his shirt off. "Yeah, Mildred, come on. A little better massaging." he says.
The masseur, whose head is turned away from the camera, curses, and says in a womanly voice, "Chris, you better give me 50 grand for this."
"Nah, only $20. I'm falling behind." says Chris.
The woman curses, and leaves in a huff.
Chris notices the camera pointing at him.
"Oh! Last time, on Total Drama Revolution, the campers made skits and performed them for yours truly, my lazy assistant Chef, and Helga. The Bugs won by a large margin, thanks to Vincecca Blackiewicz and rappin' Donny. The Platypi lost, thanks to Kavren, who was wearing a banana suit for some reason, and voted out the jerkish Northworth, even though it was his birthday. How will the teams do today? Find out on Total Drama Revolution!"
Mattie is having a nightmare.
She is in her bed, but it is floating up towards the sky. The clouds are made of cotton candy, and jellybeans are raining down. Toad pops out of nowhere, naked and censored, and says "Hey, baby."
Mattie wakes up screaming her head off.
"What the crap is going on with you?" asks Abbey.
"I had a nightmare about that midget on the other team." says Mattie.
"You mean Todd?" asks Abbey.
"Toad." says Mattie. "He was naked."
"Maybe it's an omen." says Abbey disturbingly.
"Aw, shut up." says Mattie, and she playfully punches Abbey in the arm.
Donny is knocking obnoxiously on the bathroom door.
"OPEN UP, VINCENT. I GOTTA WAZZ." says Donny loudly.
"Wazz somewhere else." says a voice from inside.
"Vincent, you're not even constipated. You brought your laptop in there." says Donny.
"I have a very good reason." says Vincent.
Donny rolls his eyes. "What adult video is it now?"
"Not an adult video. It's this chick named 'SonicxLuv46.' She's super-hot." says Vincent.
"Open the door, and let me see." says Donny quickly.
Vincent opens the door, and shows Donny.
"Wow, she is super-hot." says Donny.
"I'm totally gonna marry her." says Vincent.
"Yeah, I don't think..." says Donny. But then, he looks at Vincent's hair, and at the girl's username. "You'd be a perfect couple."
"Who're you in love with?" asks Vincent.
Donny sits there quietly.
Ori pops in.
"Chelsey." he says, and pops out.
Donny stares out into space.
Meanwhile, Tasia is asleep, and Kim is trying to wake her up.
"Come on, Tasia. We must strategize about who we're gonna take out next." says Kim.
Tasia snores loudly.
"DON'T MAKE ME VOTE YOU OFF." says Kim.
Tasia wakes up. "Huh, whaaaat?"
"Never mind." says Kim, and giggles evilly.
"'Ey, man, let's have a rematch in arm-wrestling." says Gustavo.
"No." says Dolph grumpily.
"C'mon, you're jus' mad that I beat you las' time." says Gustavo.
"Shut up." says Dolph.
"COME ON, YOU NARD. LET'S ARM WRESTLE, OR YOU'S GON' WAKE UP WIT' A BROKEN CROTCH." says Gustavo.
"All righ', all righ'. Sheesh." says Dolph.
Gustavo immediately beats Dolph in less than a second.
"See, was that anything to get all riled up about?" asks Gustavo.
"Oh, I was the one who got riled up?" asks Dolph sarcastically.
Dolph says in the confessional, "I hate Gustavo. I thought he'd be my buddy, but he sucks. I'm voting him out next, definitely."
Meanwhile, the Platypi are in a slump.
"Let's totally try to win this time." says Antoine.
"Now that crappy Northworth is out, our team is epic." says Trick, while polishing his skateboard.
"Mhm." says Chelsey. "Elle, quit curling your hair, I need to use the bathroom."
"Nu." says Elle from inside the bathroom.
Toad is watching Kavren fart with his armpits.
"Right now, you're the Prince of Comedy." says Toad.
"Who's the king?" asks Kavren.
"Yours truly." says Toad.
"Yeah, right. You're not funny at all." says Kavren.
"All right. Whoever makes others laugh the most wins the title of 'King of Komedy.' " says Toad. "And the loser has to ask out a girl."
"Oh, man, it's on." says Kavren.
Toad walks up to Cammy, who's on an online forum.
"It better be quick, Toad, I just got promoted to a mod." says Cammy.
Toad makes an obnoxious laughing noise.
"Not funny. And I just banned a troll, so shush. You're ruining my glory." says Cammy.
"Problem?" asks Toad.
"Yes, I do have a problem. The site just froze on me." says Cammy.
"FFFFFUUUUU--" says Toad.
"Stop spouting out the memes, they're only funny when me or Gary say them." says Cammy.
Toad glares at Kavren, who winks.
"Hey, MacKenzie, I'm naked." says Kavren.
MacKenzie doesn't bother to even turn around.
"Keep it PG." says Chris, who suddenly comes in.
"Whoa, Chris, when'd you get in here?" asks Toad.
"I've been in here for five minutes." says Chris.
"Actually, the show is PG-13." says Cammy.
"Come outside, the challenge is about to start." says Chris.
The campers are lead outside, and see Northworth.
"What the crap is he doing here? I thought we eliminated him." says Trick.
"We did, don't worry. He had a great idea for a challenge, though, so we decided to use it. Northy, mind telling them?" asks Chris.
"All right, you turd-suckers." says Northworth. "You guys are gonna pick two people from each team to dress up as babies. I've supplied strollers, and you're gonna push the babies around the city, to the finish line."
"So, kind of like a warped version of that New York challenge in World Tour?" asks Cammy.
"Mhm. And you're gonna wear nothing but diapers." says Northworth.
"What about the girls?" asks Chelsey.
Northworth winks, then leaves. "Time to pick babies."
"All right, I think Vincent should be the baby for our team." says Dolph.
"What? Why?" asks Vincent.
"You're th' smallest." says Gustavo.
"And...?" asks Vincent.
"You'd fit in that baby carriage over there." says Donny.
"Well, I do look good without a shirt on..." says Vincent seductively.
Ori hands Vincent a diaper. "TAKE IT BEFORE I STRANGLE YOU."
Vincent takes off his shirt, pants, and goes behind a tree. He then comes back with the diaper on.
"That's hilarious." says Mattie.
"An' who's gon' be th' other baby?" asks Kim.
"I'll do it, maaaan." says Tasia.
Kim shakes her head.
"I ain't wearin' this diaper." says Gustavo, holding up a large diaper with flies buzzing around it.
"Get that thing away from me!" says Donny.
Elle says in the confessional, "Ugh, this episode has too much potty humor. It's kind of creeping me out. And it's all stupid Northworth's fault."
Finally, the teams are ready. Tasia and Vincent are the Bugs' babies.
"At least you still have a shirt," says Kim. "Glad you didn't take it off."
"This is degrading." says Vincent, sitting in the baby carriage.
"Childhood can be a bit traumatizing." says Dolph.
The Epic Platypi's baby is Kavren.
"Who's the other baby?" asks Kavren.
"ANTOINE!" screams Cammy.
"Come back!" says MacKenzie.
"We just want to put this diaper on ya." says Trick, riding on his skateboard.
Antoine is hiding behind a garbage can with his sunglasses and his hat off.
"No way, man. I ain't wearin' that. At least I have some self-respect." says Antoine.
"Fine, then, I guess we'll just have one baby." says Trick.
"But we'll lose." says MacKenzie.
Trick knees MacKenzie in the stomach.
"Ow, that hurt." says MacKenzie.
Chris walks up to them.
"The race started five minutes ago." he says.
Toad screams, and starts pushing Kavren in his stroller.
"Hey, look, a french fry place." says Kavren.
"FOCUS!" screams Toad.
Kavren leaps out of the carriage.
"What are you doing, idiot?" asks Toad.
"I am a baby, I am a baby." says Kavren. "Baby fat tummy." He pulls up his shirt.
Toad begins to laugh hysterically.
"Baby, baby, baby big booty." He shakes his butt.
"Wow, Kavren, you're the King of Komedy..." says Toad. He then stops, realizing what he just said. "Oh, man."
"HA! I'm the King of Komedy, and you aren't! So you have to ask out a girl! In your face, loser!" says Kavren.
"We're still buds, right?" asks Toad.
"Uh-huh, sure." says Kavren, leaping back into the carriage. "But push me some more, and I'll be your best bud."
Elle and Chelsey have watched that whole thing.
"That was scary." says Chelsey. "We better leave before he asks one of us out."
"You're gonna reject him, right?" asks Elle.
"He's not asking me out. Nuh-uh. No way." says Chelsey.
"If he asks me out, I'm probably gonna laugh in his face." says Elle.
"And his popularity will totally go down." says Chelsey.
"Good call." says Elle.
Vincent and Donny have ditched the group and are at a pretzel stand.
"Ooh, pretzels!" says Vincent. "I'll have a cheese-filled pretzel with cinnamon."
"I'm not serving anyone with a diaper on." says the pretzel guy.
"Say, I think I know you from somewhere..." says Donny.
"It's that smoothie guy!" shouts Vincent.
"Oh my god." says Donny. "Oh my god."
"Sirs, please make your orders and leave." says the smoothie/pretzel guy.
"We're out of here." says Donny.
Abbey and Mattie come up to them.
"There you are! We've been looking all over for you." says Mattie.
"Why'd you stupid boys ditch us?" asks Abbey.
"We were hungry, I guess." says Vincent.
"The Platypi are almost at the finish line!" says Mattie. "Come on!"
"All right, all right, simmer down." says Vincent.
"Shut up." says Abbey.
Chris and Chef are waiting "patiently" at the finish line.
"It's been, like, fifty days." says Chef.
"It's been a half-hour. Calm your moobs." says Chris.
"I really need a raise..." grumbles Chef.
"Oh, there they are. That's the Platypi, I think." says Chris.
The Platypi get to the finish line.
"All right, guys, you won this disturbing challenge. Now, let's wait for the Bugs." says Chris.
5 hours later, the Dancing Bugs come to the finish line.
"Votin' off time." says Chef.
Trick and Antoine are conversing in their cabin.
"I don't know, I just kind of want to do it." says Trick.
"It sounds like a great idea, man." says Antoine. "Go for it."
"Fleedle, deedle." says Kavren, popping up behind the two.
"Get away, Kav. We're talking about manly things, and you're not a man." says Antoine.
"Okay. I'm going to do it. Wish me luck, man." says Trick.
Antoine clicks with his mouth.
Cammy is on her online forum. "Hey, Trick."
"Listen. I've been thinking about something..." says Trick.
"You mean how long Longcat is in centimeters? Yeah, I've been thinking about that too." says Cammy.
"No, not that." chuckles Trick. "I'd like to, maybe..."
Antoine mouths, "Come on, you jive turkey."
"Wangooutwime?" asks Trick.
"Pardon?" says Cammy.
"Wanna, um, go out with me?" asks Trick.
Cammy's face turns bright red. "Oh, Trick. That sounds kind of fun. I'd like to go out with you."
"Um, okay." says Trick.
"All right." says Cammy.
Antoine dances about happily.
"What's his deal?" asks Cammy. "He seems like he's trolling you."
"Nah, we're buddies." says Trick.
Trick says in the confessional, "YEEEEESSSSS! Irving is so pumped for me." He then pretends to have his skateboard talk. "Mmm-hmmm. Totally, Patty!"
Chris is at the elimination ceremony.
"You Bugs cast your votes. The first marshmallow goes to Tasia."
"Marshmallows again, maaaaan?" asks Tasia.
"Kim, Mattie, Abbey, and Gustavo." says Chris.
The four get their marshmallows.
"Donny and Ori." says Chris.
The boys get their marshmallows.
"Vincent and Dolph, the final marshmallow goes to..."
"Vincent."
"Thanks, mate." says Vincent, and pops the marshmallow in his mouth.
"Why did you little hob-knockers vote for me? Teasing is WRONG! I will get my revenge on you little dumb turds. Dolph Anderson Alfred Garrison Harrison Larrison Barrison Rainbows III is AWAY!" says Dolph, and he leaps into the air, and flies away on a magical rainbow unicorn.
"Um, what?" asks Chris.
Chapter 6 - The TV-A-Thon
"Last time, we had a disturbing, potty-related challenge. I swear, there won't be any more potty humor in these chapters, unless a certain contestant doesn't keep his mouth shut. Whatever. Dolph was sent home, and rode away on a magical rainbow unicorn. It was really weird, and let's see what happens today!" says Chris.
"What the crap happened last night?" asks Vincent, who's in bed playing a video game.
"I don't know. Maybe Dolph has a supernatural aspect to him." says Donny. "It kinda creeped me out."
"Maybe he was, like, a ghost." says Vincent.
"I could believe that. Or a zombie." says Donny.
"Hey, man, now a zombie? That's going a little too far." says Vincent.
"Ezekiel turned into a zombie, remember?" asks Vincent.
"Oh, yeah." says Vincent. "I always hated that. He was my fave."
Tasia is watching a video on her computer.
"Ugh, really? 'My Momentum'? You mean, Friday Brown's new song? That song is abhorrent." says Kim.
"Yeah, maaaan. I knoooow. I just think it's fuuuunny." says Tasia.
"Y'know, you kind of look like that Friday girl." says Donny.
"Ewww, that's an insult, maaaan." says Tasia.
"Muh." says Donny. "Just expressin' my opinion here."
Ori is reading a book.
"'Ey, man, Dolph was eliminated, so you's gon' be th' main guy I hang out wit', a'ight?" asks Gustavo.
"Shut up, I'm trying to read!" screams Ori.
"A'ight, I'll talk to ya when you's in your nice mood." says Gustavo.
"Be quiet, or I'll beat the tar out of you." says Ori.
"Okay, man. Whatever you's say." says Gustavo.
Ori flings his "Mary Lotter" book at Gustavo.
Gustavo says in the confessional, "When did Ori turn into Helga?"
Mattie is texting her friend.
"Y'know, instead of texting your friend who's not even here, you could talk to me." says Abbey.
"Be quiet, I have a dilemma." says Mattie.
"What's your dilemma?" asks Abbey.
The scene switches to the Platypi's room.
"Haw, great job! You asked a girl out!" says Kavren.
Toad mutters something, while shivering.
"Aw, come on, tell me who it is." says Kavren.
The scene switches back to the Bugs' room.
"He WHAT?!" asks Abbey.
"I know, right?! I thought he'd ask out MacWhatever!" says Mattie.
"Well, are you going to say yes?" asks Abbey.
"What do you think?" says Mattie plainly.
"He's gonna have a broken heart, though." says Abbey.
"Since when did you care about boys?" asks Mattie.
"I don't." says Abbey. "But..."
She is interrupted by Vincent and Donny, who are bopping about and chanting.
"Say yes." says Donny in a deep voice.
"Say yes!" says Vincent in a high voice.
"Say yes." says Donny.
"Say yes!" says Vincent.
"Say--" begins Donny.
"SHUT UP, GUYS. I'M NOT GOING TO SAY YES." says Mattie.
The Epic Platypi are chillin' in their room.
"Ha, this is the best episode ever." says Elle, who's watching Nebraska Shore.
"Oh, is this the one where Snooki slaps Pauly Q?" asks Chelsey, walking up to her.
"Yeah, and then Jonnie and Weena get in a huge fight, 'The Predicament' woos ladies with his 12-pack, and K-Woww wins the lottery." says Elle.
"What about Vinney?" asks Chelsey.
"Vinney can go die in a hole. I stopped liking him when he broke up with Spammi." says Elle.
"Ooh, this is the Director's Cut version!" says Chelsey.
"The director is so hot..." says Elle.
"I know, right?" asks Chelsey. "I love his abs."
"That show is so cheesy and dumb, it's not even funny." says Cammy, who's at her computer.
"Shut up, nobody likes you." says Elle.
"I like her." says Trick. "She's my girlfriend."
Elle and Chelsey stare at the two for a moment, then burst out laughing.
"Whatever." says Trick. "Don't listen to them, babe. They're just @#$%&es."
Antoine is hanging out with Toad and Kavren.
"I'm trying to beat this one level in Scribble Hop. It's super hard." says Kavren.
"Ugh, I hate that game, because you always have to start over, and stuff..." says Antoine.
"Why're you hanging out with us?" asks Kavren.
"All right. Ever since Trick got Cammy to be his girlfriend, he's completely neglecting me." says Antoine.
"Aww, buddy. We'll be your new brosephs." says Toad.
"Broseph? Nobody says that anymore, except jive turkeys who think they're all that." says Antoine.
"What's a jive turkey?" asks Kavren.
"You." says Antoine.
MacKenzie is sitting there, quietly, contemplating.
Chris then comes in the room.
"Time for the challenge, everyone, report to the forest." he says.
"The forest?!" asks Trick.
"Yup. We have a new twist on an old fave." says Chris.
"Oh, man, I hate new twists." says Cammy.
The contestants gather around in the forest.
"All right, remember the Awake-a-thon from TDI?" asks Chris.
"Sadly, yes." says Kim.
"Well, here's a new spin on it. You guys are gonna be watching TV, while trying to stay awake." says Chris.
"TV is awesome. How can you fall asleep?" asks Donny.
"Oh, Chef!" says Chris.
Chef comes in, wheeling a plasma TV. He turns it on, and it begins to play "A Guide To Collecting Fishing Lures: The Movie."
"Oh, nooooo." says Tasia.
"Dude, this is the worst show ever." says Donny.
"Last one to fall asleep wins for their team." says Chris, and he walks away.
Tasia is already asleep.
Kim says in the confessional, "Tasia, quel pezzo stupido 'di sterco! Spero che si ottiene votato fuori!"
Mattie and Abbey are sitting there. Abbey is looking wistful.
"What's wrong, girl?" asks Mattie.
"This movie was my mom's favorite movie. And you know..." says Abbey.
"Oh, that's so sad." says Mattie.
Vincent comes up to them.
"Better take it easy on th' drama. We don' want to turn this show into a Twinklefog story." he says.
"Yeah, that Twinklefog guy is a great writer, but he has so much drama in his stories." says Donny.
"Like that one weird guy who reminds me of that guy on the other team, he had cancer." says Vincent.
"Who is this Twinklefog?" asks Mattie blandly.
"Oh my god. Twinklefog is one of the greatest authors on the Total Drama School Fan Story Wikia." says Vincent.
"His real name's Larry, I think." says Donny.
"Yeah, whatever. We appreciate the company, but we kinda need to stay awake." says Mattie.
Abbey is half-asleep.
"Wake up, we don't want to lose..." says Mattie.
"Huh? What?" asks Abbey.
"Never mind..." says Mattie.
Trick and Cammy are relaxing under a tree.
"What's your favorite video game?" asks Cammy dreamily.
"I'm not the biggest video game guy, but I love those Myth of Zedla games." says Trick.
"Oh, me too." giggles Cammy. "We have so much in common."
A farting noise is heard.
"Trick, did you just..." asks Cammy.
"No, that wasn't me." says Trick warily. "I swear."
Toad crawls out of the bushes and back to Antoine and Kavren.
"You idiot, Trick is buff. He could kill you." says Kavren.
"Naw, man, Trick is cool. I just think Cammy is hot, so I want them to break up." says Toad.
"Dude, you think, like, every girl is hot." says Antoine.
"Not that coffee nut and that creepy silent girl. Or Kim." says Toad.
Kavren is listening to a song on his uPod.
"Is that Shane Havana's new song, Water Rushing?" asks Antoine.
"Yup." says Kavren.
"That song has some sick beats to it, but Shawn's in the hospital." says Antoine.
"What happened to him?!" asks Toad.
"An almost-fatal skiing accident." says Antoine.
"Muh, I never liked that guy, anyways. He's fat." says Toad.
"Arthur was fat. And if I remember correctly, yesterday you said he was your fave." says Antoine.
"Fat and morbidly obeeeese are two very different things." says Kavren, waggling a finger.
Antoine says in the confessional, "All right, I have got to find different friends around here. Toad and Kavren are annoying the @#$% out of me."
MacKenzie is staring up into the sky.
"Hey, MacK." says Antoine, walking up to her. "Mind if I chill here?"
"Sure, that's fine." says MacKenzie. "I'm starting to think that Trick and Cammy are spending a little too much time together."
"That's exactly what I was thinking. I've been forced to hang out with..." Antoine shudders. "Toad and Kavren."
"Oh, my god. I feel so sorry for you." says MacKenzie, touching Antoine's shoulder.
"Meh, it's okay. I brought some of my band's music on my uPod. Wanna hear it?" asks Antoine.
"Sure." says MacKenzie, and she puts the headphones on.
"This one is called 'Squirrels in my Pants.' " says Antoine.
"Now somebody, anybody, everybody, scream!" says Antoine's voice in the uPod.
A girl is heard screaming "There are squirrels in my pants!"
"Wow, that girl's got some serious squirrels in my pants." says Antoine's voice.
"There are squirrels in my pants!" says the girl again.
"Tell me what's makin' you jump like that..." says Antoine's voice.
"S-I-M-P Squirrels in my Pants." says Lou's voice.
MacKenzie turns it off.
"Sorry, I'm not a fan of hip-hop." she says.
"This next one isn't really hip-hop. It's more of rap." says Antoine.
"I don't really like rap either--" says MacKenzie.
Antoine turns the music on.
"Yo, yo, yo, my name's Lou Povenmire. I can't think o' anythin' that rhymes with Povenmire. Word." says Lou's voice.
"That one was called 'Lou's Short Rap.' " says Antoine.
He looks at MacKenzie, but she is asleep.
"Aw, darn. I kinda have the hots for her." says Antoine, and he leaves.
Elle and Chelsey are trying to rig the TV.
"Come on, I don't want to watch this fishing lures thing, I wanna watch Nebraska Shore!" screams Elle.
"Relax. I'm trying." says Chelsey.
Nebraska Shore then comes onto the TV.
"SNOOKIII!" screams Elle.
Everyone looks at the TV, then falls asleep instantly.
"Wow, it looks like we're the only ones still awake." says Elle.
"Does that mean we win?" asks Chelsey.
"Yup." says Chris, walking up to them.
"Wow, that was the easiest challenge we've had in a while." says Chelsey.
"And it was all thanks to SNOOKIII!" screams Elle.
"Dancing Bugs." says Chris. "Time to vote someone off."
Nobody from the Bugs wakes up.
"Dancing Bugs." says Chris again.
Vincent wakes up.
"Vincent, get everyone else up and tell them that you lost." says Chris.
"We what? Awww!" says Vincent.
Vincent and Donny are discussing in their dorm.
"So, who do you think we should vote off?" asks Donny.
Kim is scolding Tasia.
"Wake up, we must strategize!" she screams.
"C'mon, maaaaan, take a chiiiiill piiiill." says Tasia.
"I think I have a little idea." says Vincent.
Chris is at the elimination ceremony.
"Today, we have Nebraska Shore DVDs." he says. "The first one goes to Donny."
Donny gets his DVD.
"Ori, Gustavo, and Abbey." says Chris.
The three get their DVDs.
"Mattie and Vincent." says Chris.
Mattie and Vincent get their DVDs.
"Tasia and Kim, the final DVD goes to..."
"Tasia."
Tasia, sleeping, gets hit in the head with her DVD.
"What?! Why me? You guys are all a bunch of--" says Kim.
"Time to go. There can be only one Italian." says Gustavo.
"Wait, Gustavo, you voted her out just because she's Italian?" asks Abbey.
"She was a-stealin' m' thunder." says Gustavo.
"Wow, that's... That's jank, Gustavo." says Mattie.
"I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" screams Kim, and she runs away.
"I should probably hide under th' sheets now." says Gustavo.
Chapter 7 - Creamed Ice
Chris is asleep on a bed.
Chef comes into the room. "C'mon, Chris, we have to start the show."
Chris writhes about in his bed. "Later..."
"No, man, right now. We have to start it, we're already runnin' out o' time." says Chef.
"Last time on Total Drama..." says Chris, and he falls asleep.
"All righ', then I'll jus' do th' recap." says Chef.
"No, no, no. Last time, Kim got eliminated. There. Now, can we start?" asks Chris.
"Sure. I just think it's so hot--" says Chef.
Chris is back to sleep.
"Wow, man. That's jus' wow." says Chef.
The Epic Platypi are hanging out in their dorm.
"Antoine, can you get th' mail today?" asks Toad, who's lying on the couch watching TV.
"It's your turn today, man." says Antoine.
"Come on, I'm too lazy." says Toad.
"Nope. I've been getting the mail for a week now. It's your turn." says Antoine.
"I'll give you this cupcake." says Toad, holding up a cupcake.
"All right, fine." says Antoine, taking the cupcake.
Antoine says in the confessional, "Man, Toad is annoying me so much, but at least he gave me this cupcake." He eats the cupcake, and spits it out. "PTOO! What was in that?!"
Toad says in the confessional, "I left that cupcake outside for a week, then Kavren farted on it and I licked it."
Antoine says in the confessional, with his face pale and his body slumped over, "Urgh, I think I'm gonna have diabetes..."
"All right, here's the mail." says Antoine. "Ooh, it's a letter from my aunt Florence livin' in France. She said she divorced old uncle Freddy because he just raged and ranted."
"That's cool." says Toad.
"Aw, man. How can I qualify for these government grants?" asks Antoine.
"I don't know, man. I don't know." says Toad.
"Oh, cool, a package from--" says Antoine.
Toad is looking in Antoine's backpack.
"Hey, don't be smellin' my potpourri!" says Antoine.
"S to the I to the M to the P." says a voice that sounds like Kavren.
Trick is shopping for skateboards on Gregslist.
"Hurry up, Trick, it's almost my computer time." says Kavren.
"Nah. I need a new skateboard to replace Irving." says Trick.
"Dude, you're not even skating anymore, just flirting with Cammy." says Kavren.
"I don't care." says Trick. "Oh, here's a nice and sturdy one."
"That's what she said." snorts Kavren.
"Dude, that doesn't even make any sense." says Trick.
"You know who else doesn't even make any sense?" asks Kavren.
"My mom." says Trick angrily. "Now will you go away?"
"BLOOP PORK." says Kavren loudly.
"Shut up." says Trick.
"Wow, someone's a little bit grumpy today..." says Kavren. "What, did you eat too many beans?"
Trick knees Kavren in the groin.
Trick says in the confessional, "I wasn't tryin' to be mean, but that Kavren could screw up my chances with Cammy."
Cammy is talking with MacKenzie.
"So, how's Patty?" asks MacKenzie.
Cammy giggles. "He's doing good."
MacKenzie is about to say something, but she is interrupted rudely.
"SNOOKIIII!" screams Elle.
"She's all hyped up because the new season of Nebraska Shore is starting tonight. They're going to Spain." says Chelsey.
"And Spammi is dating Johnnie again!" screams Elle.
"Who? What?" asks Cammy.
"Don't worry about it..." says MacKenzie.
"Yeah, only the cool kids know." says Elle.
"Come on, let's go watch some Spam-Wow commercials in the meantime." says Chelsey.
"They're sponsored by Spammi." winks Elle.
The Bugs are in their dorm, chillaxing.
"Wow, Gustavo is such a tool." says Vincent.
"Why did he vote out Kim, again?" asks Donny.
"He thought there should be only one Italian." says Vincent.
"Wow, man. That's just wow." says Donny.
Tasia is acting woozy.
"Hey, maaaans, wanna haaaaang with me?" she asks.
"Um, no thanks." says Mattie.
"Get out of here before we call the cops." says Abbey.
Tasia says in the confessional, "I don't know why they don't like me, maaaan. An' they're the only girls on the teeeeam. Stupid Gustavo, votin' out Kim."
Abbey says in the confessional, "Right now, I couldn't be more repulsed by Tasia."
Ori comes up to Vincent and Donny.
"I strongly dislike Gustavo." he says.
"We all do." says Donny. "Wanna chill with us?"
"Sure, that would be very pleasant." says Ori,
"Yay, he's in his nice mood." whispers Vincent. Donny agrees.
Gustavo says in the confessional, "WHAT'S UP WIT' EVERYONE HATIN' ME?! I DIDN'T DO NOTHIN', EXCEP' VOTE. THIS TEAM IS A BUNCHA--"
The confessional turns to static.
Chris walks into the room, with an intern fanning him.
"God, it's hot out today." says Chris.
"Yeah, maaaaan." says Tasia woozily.
"Time for the challenge." says Chris. "C'mon outside, and I'll explain all."
The contestants head outside.
"All right, since it's so hot, you guys are gonna be selling ice cream." says Chris.
Chef comes out with a truck full of ice cream.
"Here ya go. Get sellin'. You have one hour." says Chris.
The Bugs go over to a public park with a fountain near it.
"Ooh, waaaater." says Tasia. "Reee-laaaaxin'."
"We should get a few customers here." says Abbey.
Vincent opens up one of the ice cream containers and starts to eat it.
"No. That's not for you." says Mattie.
Donny is eating ice cream too.
"DONNY!" screams Mattie. "I thought you knew better..."
"C'mon, give us a break. We still have a bunch o' creamed ice left." says Vincent.
"Creamed ice?" asks Ori.
"Yup. The reverse of ice cream." says Vincent coolly.
"Vincent, you have issues, maaaan." says Tasia.
"Gee, you're one to talk." says Vincent.
The Platypi set up on the other side of town.
"Why are we setting up here? This is where all the weird people and gangstas live." says MacKenzie.
"Yeah, despite them being weird people and gangstas, they're still people and they still have money." says Antoine.
"Good point." says MacKenzie. "But what if we run into..."
A short kid in a backwards baseball cap comes jogging up to them with his pants falling down.
"...Devin." says MacKenzie.
"Yo, yo, yo, home-dawgs! It's me again, th' Dev-meister, and I's gon' buy some ice cream, yo!" he says.
"All right." says Trick. "It'll be 10 bucks."
"I only have 50 cents, yo. Sorry, boii." says Devin.
"Aww, well, it's better than nothing." says Toad.
"Yeeeeah, boiii." says Devin, and he jogs away.
"Well, we have fifty cents." says Trick. "Great, so far."
"I love how you're so optimistic." says Cammy happily.
Kavren says in the confessional grumpily, "Pssh. Yeah. Optimistic."
Antoine sees a guy in a hat walk buy, listening to music.
"Hey, man, I recognize that guy!" says Antoine.
The guy turns around.
"LOU!" screams Antoine.
"Well, 'ey there. boy." says Lou.
"Let's perform our new hit single so we can attract customers." says Antoine.
"Sounds all right, man." says Lou.
"Ready, set, go." says Toad.
"Now somebody, everybody, anybody, yell!" says Antoine.
"L-I-M-S, lizards in my shirt." says Lou.
Some kid comes in and drops a lot of money into Lou's hat.
"Wow, that sure is a lot of..." says Antoine.
Lou sprints away with the money.
"You just got served!" he says.
"Lou, that ungrateful bum." says Antoine frustratedly.
Elle and Chelsey are staring at Elle's uPod.
"Whatcha lookin' at?" asks Kavren.
"Nebraska Shore. Hush." says Chelsey.
A loud curse is heard from the uPod.
"Whoa, Snooki got mad." says Elle.
"That weird guy shouldn't have tripped her." says Chelsey.
"Isn't Snooki only, like, 3 feet tall?" asks Trick.
"SHE'S 4'9. GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT." says Elle.
"The same height as Northworth?" asks Antoine.
"Yup. I wonder what Northworth is doing right now." says Chelsey.
Northworth is at home, scolding a mounted moose head.
"Stop looking at me like that! It's creeping me out!" he says loudly.
Meanwhile, the Bugs aren't doing very well.
"All right, guys, you need to stop. You ate five containers." says Mattie.
"Not cooool, maaaaan, not cooool." says Tasia.
"Come on, we're just getting started!" says Vincent.
Donny pats his belly.
"You're morbidly obeeeeeeeese." says Tasia.
"Dudes, we're not going to win, so maybe you should just eat the rest of th' ice cream." says Gustavo.
"All right." says Donny, and he begins to eat some more.
"GUSTAVO, YOU IDIOT." says Ori angrily.
Ori says in the confessional, "Urgh, now I hate Gustavo even more!"
Donny and Vincent have eaten all the ice cream.
"Hey, a dollar." says Vincent, and he picks up a dollar on the ground.
"Great, we raised some money!" says Donny.
Everyone glares at Donny and Vincent.
Vincent sees a girl walking around, playing music.
"Hey, baby." he says.
"Get a life, you nerd, and try to find someone your own speed." says the girl.
"Awww." says Vincent.
The Platypi are dealing with a customer.
"I don't know what flavor I want!" whines the customer.
"There's only one flavor left, and it's Chunky Tofu." says Antoine.
"I don't know what container to get!" says the customer.
"There's only one container left." says Trick.
"Hey, that guy looks really familiar." says Toad.
"It's the smoothie guy." says Cammy.
"Get out." says Trick.
The smoothie guy takes the Chunky Tofu ice cream and sprints away.
"Hey, you didn't pay!" screams Elle, while watching her TV show.
The smoothie drops 50 cents.
"Great, so our total is a dollar." says Trick.
The teams go back to the middle of the city.
"Both teams raised only a dollar?" asks Chris.
"Yes, sadly." says Abbey.
"We would have gained more if two people hadn't eaten all the ice cream..." says Ori angrily.
"Yeah, you dumb @#$%es needa learn a lesson." says Gustavo.
"Hush up, Gustavo." says Vincent.
"Well, since I'm way too lazy to do a tiebreaker, I guess both teams will have to vote someone out!" says Chris.
"What?" says everyone in unison.
"You heard me. Bugs, you'll go first, then the Platypi." says Chris.
The Dancing Bugs head to their cabin.
"So, we're voting out Gustavo, right?" asks Vincent.
"Right." says Donny.
Chris is at the ceremony. "Today, you will get pennies." he says.
"Oh, goody." says Ori.
"The first pennies go to Vincent, Ori, and Mattie." says Chris.
The three get their pennies.
"Abbey and Tasia." says Chris.
The two girls get their pennies.
"Donny and Gustavo, the final penny goes to..."
"Donny."
"No shocker there." says Vincent.
"All righ'. I guess wha' I did to Kim was wrong. See ya, guys, I guess." says Gustavo. He boards the Taxi of Losers and drives away.
"I'll be at the Platypi's ceremony now!" says Chris.
Trick says in the confessional, "I vote for Elle. I don't like her, and she's obsessed with that dumb show."
Antoine says in the confessional, "This was hard..."
Elle is watching Nebraska Shore in the confessional.
Chris is at the ceremony. "Antoine and Kavren both get pennies."
Antoine and Kavren both get their pennies.
"Chelsey and Cammy." says Chris.
Cammy gets hers, but Chelsey is watching Nebraska Shore, and gets hit in the head by a penny.
"Trick." says Chris.
Trick gets his penny.
"Elle is also safe, unfortunately." says Chris.
"Pass it over here, 'The Predicament' just got a new girlfriend." says Elle.
"Elle, your label is The Seducer, not The Nebraska Shore-Obsessed Freak, so start seducing next episode or you're automatically booted out." says Chris.
Elle doesn't say a word.
"Toad, you gave Antoine a cupcake that was left outside for a week, touched by Kavren's creepy butt germs, and then he licked it." Chris says, shuddering. "And everyone pretty much thinks MacKenzie is just a slot-filler."
"I'm not a slot-filler, I'm a human being." says MacKenzie.
"No, you're pretty much a slot-filler." Chelsey tells her.
"Yeah, I know." says MacKenzie.
"The final penny goes to..."
"Toad." says Chris.
Everyone gasps.
"I did NOT see that coming." says Antoine.
"We did." says Elle and Chelsey.
"But why did you guys vote for me? I don't know what I did wrong." says MacKenzie.
"Everyone likes you, and you're a total threat." says Chelsey.
"Kinda like that one perfect guy from Twinklefog's second story." says Cammy.
MacKenzie sadly nods. "I guess that's fine, bye guys." she says, and walks into the Taxi of Losers, next to Gustavo.
"'Sup, m'lady?" asks Gustavo.
MacKenzie rolls her eyes.
Chapter 8 - Indiana Mackiewicz and the Temple of Bad Things
"Last time on Total Drama Revolution, the contestants sold ice cream! Unfortunately, neither team won, thanks to some sly customers, and some lazy fatties. Both teams ended out voting out a contestant. The Bugs voted out Gustavo, because he voted out Kim the episode before, and the Platypi voted out MacKenzie for some mysterious reason. What lethal things do I have in store for the contestants today? Find out now, on Total Drama Revolution!"
"AAAAAAUGH!" screams a voice from the Platypi's dorm.
"Ugh, you just woke me up." says Elle grumpily.
"I need a good beauty sleep." says Chelsey. "Thanks a lot."
"Sorry, guys. This is just bad. Extremely bad." says Cammy.
"What is it now? Did your precious computer crash? Boo-hoo." says Elle rudely.
"No, it's worse." says Cammy. "Way worse."
"Tell us what happened. The suspense is killing me." says Elle.
"Yeah, we've got your back, guuuurl." says Chelsey.
"KRP vandalized the Total Drama School Fan Story Wikia!" screams Cammy.
"Who?" asks Chelsey.
"Only the most terrible vandal in all of Wikia-land." says Cammy.
"Oh, you mean that one guy who posted Sharissa porn?" asks Kavren, waking up.
"Go back to sleep, Kavren." says Cammy.
Chelsey says in the confessional, "Of course Kavren would know about that."
"Oh, no. He wrote a horrible story about Moonshine the Lasagna Pixie dying in a hole, replaced Twinklefog's pages with 'POPCORNPOPCORNPOPCORN', and said a rude word to Greendude!" says Cammy.
"Was that English?" asks Chelsey.
"Oh, good, the head admin, 2Cool4TDSchool, undid all his edits." says Cammy.
"That's a nice username." says Elle sarcastically.
"I didn't even watch TDS. It was too short." says Chelsey.
"Oh, man, he wants to go on Bigchat with me!" says Cammy sadly.
"Do it. I wanna see if he's hot." says Elle.
Cammy logs on to Bigchat, and sees the vandal. He has green skin and looks like a zombie.
"Hey, babe." he says.
Trick wakes up. "What was that?" he asks crossly.
"It's KingRedPop." says Cammy.
A large, flabby butt comes in front of KRP's camera, and farts.
"Suzuki, you--" says KRP. The screen then turns to static.
"That was horrifying." says Cammy.
"Go back to sleep, it's midnight." says Elle.
Toad is in the bathroom with Antoine.
"I wonder what all of that ruckus out there is?" asks Antoine.
"I think something bad happened to Cammy. Lemme go check." says Toad.
"You can't. Trick will destroy you." says Antoine.
"Me and Trick are buddies." says Toad.
"Nah, lately, Trick has turned into a Cammy-obsessed pompous dude, rather than a chill, skating bro." says Antoine.
"We need to get the old Trick back." says Toad.
Kavren busts open the door of the bathroom.
"Hai, hai, hai!" he says loudly.
"Oh, wow, Kavren, perfect timing." says Antoine sarcastically.
The Bugs are acting strange.
"I see a little silhouetto of a Vince..." says Donny.
"Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?" asks Vincent.
"I HATE THAT SONG." says Ori angrily.
Donny says in the confessional, "Ori's totally our next target, and we only have six people left. I'll be surprised if I make it to the merge."
"So, guuuuurls, what's shaaaaakin'?" asks Tasia.
"Aw, nothing much. You?" asks Mattie.
Abbey grumbles.
Abbey says in the confessional, "Mattie can be nice to Tasia all she wants, but I'm not going to. Hmph. I hate that girl so much..."
A loud noise resembling a dump truck is heard outside.
"I wonder what that could beeeee?" asks Tasia.
Suddenly, the two cabins smash into smithereens, and the contestants are sent hurtling into an abyss.
"WAAAAA!" screams Toad.
"I WANT TO GO HOOOOOME!" yells Ori.
"This is laaaaax, maaaaan." says Tasia calmly.
"I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DATE YOU, ABBEY." screams Kavren through the abyss.
"WHAT?" Abbey gasps.
"DUH, IT WAS SO OBVIOUS." Vincent says, rolling his eyes.
"WE'RE SINGING AS WE'RE FALLING!" Toad yells.
"SHUT UP!" Chelsey yells.
Cammy and Trick are casually making out.
The contestants fall into a large pit that resembles a tropical dungeon.
"Huh?" Cammy's eyes widen.
"Isn't it obvious, maaaan?" asks Tasia.
"We're too important to the story; the main characters never die in these things..." says Donny.
"Unless you count Infinity by BJ Tenstar...' Cammy states.
"I wanna die," Ori mumbles.
"That can be arranged." says Chelsey curtly.
"I still love you." Kavren hugs Abbey.
Abbey is disturbed.
"Where are we?" asks Antoine.
"You," says Chris, who comes down randomly, "are underground."
"Well, we know that. I mean the specific location." says Antoine.
"Oh, you're in the Temple of Bad Things." says Chris.
"What's our challenge?" asks Donny.
"Oh, you just have to make it out of here alive. Good luck!" says Chris.
Chef comes down on a hoverboard, and grabs Chris. The two hover away.
"Okay, gang, let's split up." says Trick.
"I'll go with Toad and Kavren, Elle and Chelsey can go together, and that leaves you and Cammy." says Antoine.
"Good enough." says Elle.
"Hey, you know I'm your best friend here." says Chelsey.
Chris' voice is heard from above ground.
"Oh yeah, Elle, remember if you don't seduce, automatic boot-out." says Chris.
"Pprrrr." says Elle to Toad. "There, that's good enough. Snookiiii!"
Vincent is trying to jump high enough to reach the hole.
"Vincent, you're not going to be able to do that." says Donny.
"Who cares, mate? I'm still tryin'." says Vincent.
"I can be your human stepping stone, maaaan." says Tasia.
"All right, sure." says Vincent.
Vincent gets on Tasia, but she collapses and Vincent is sent hurtling onto Donny.
"Ow, my kiwis..." says Donny.
Abbey and Mattie are trying to look for an exit.
"Ugh. I hate this place. It smells like cow manure." says Abbey.
An arrow is sent whizzing by, and narrowly misses Mattie's head.
"Oh, and there's that." says Abbey.
Another arrow barely misses Abbey's leg.
"This place is lethal." says Mattie.
Toad, Antoine, and Kavren are walking up a long hill.
"I see something gold up there!" says Toad.
"No, Toad. Don't get it. It's probably a trap--" says Antoine.
Toad runs up to the gold thing,
"Oh, sweet, it's a cool little trophy!" says Toad.
"No, don't touch it!" says Kavren.
Toad touches the trophy, and the temple begins to rumble.
"Oh, no." says Antoine.
A large boulder comes out of nowhere, and starts rolling towards the boys.
"RUN!" screams Antoine.
"You almost killed us, Toad!" screams Kavren.
"SORRY!" screams Toad. "I didn't know!"
"It's okay, man, we just have to get out of here alive!" screams Antoine.
Kavren leaps behind a bush, and drags Antoine and Toad with him. The boulder rolls by, and falls into a hole.
"Heh, heh..." says Toad.
Kavren and Antoine glare at Toad angrily.
A toucan flies by and craps on Antoine's head.
"Aw, man. My hat's ruined." says Antoine.
"Didn't a bird crap on Toad's head in the first episode?" asks Kavren.
"Yup." says Toad.
"Man, the author is getting desperate-er and desperate-er..." says Antoine.
A snake suddenly bites Antoine's leg.
"Ow, ow, ow." says Antoine loudly.
"What the crap just happened?" asks Toad.
"A snake just bit..." says Antoine.
He turns green and falls over.
"Oh, look, he's unconscious." says Kavren.
"I guess we have to carry him." says Toad.
"How much do you weigh, Antoine?" asks Kavren.
"Mmmmrrpht." mumbles Antoine.
Toad and Kavren hoist up Antoine.
"Man, Antoine, you really need to lose some weight. Have you been eating too many acorns?" asks Kavren.
Toad accidentally drops Antoine, and he falls into a pit.
"EEK!" screams Antoine, and all is silent.
Kavren glares at Toad menacingly.
Vincent and Donny are almost out of the large pit.
"Whoa, dude, just a few more inches..." says Donny.
"I'm almost there..." says Vincent, who's climbing up the hole.
Donny reaches the top of the hole, and sees the rest of his team already out, along with Elle and Chelsey.
"Euch, how did they get there?" asks Vincent.
"They're watching Nebraska Shore." says Mattie angrily.
"THE PREDICAMENT FOUND A BILLION BUCKS LYING ON THE STREET." screams Elle.
"Seducing?" asks Chris blandly.
"Purrrr." says Elle.
"Good enough." says Chris.
Five hours later, everyone is back except for Toad, Kavren, and Antoine.
"I wonder where they could be?" asks Cammy.
"Psssh, they probably died in a hole." says Chelsey. "Don't worry about it."
Toad and Kavren come out of the temple, with gashes and stains all over.
"What happened to you guys?" asks Chris.
"Toad almost killed us." says Kavren.
"And where's Antoine?" asks Chris.
A figure that resembles Antoine comes out of the pit. He's completely covered in some sort of bugs.
"TOAD, YOU IDIOT." says Antoine. "These are leeches."
Everyone groans.
"Ouch." says Trick.
"I'mma go take a bath." says Antoine.
"Epic Plats, look like you've lost." says Chris.
"It's about time." grumbles Abbey.
"Time to vote off a player." says Chris. "Meet me at elimination in ten minutes."
Antoine is done with his bath, sitting on his bed silently.
"Hey, man." says Trick, coming up to him.
"Go away." grumbles Antoine.
"Look, I'm sorry I ditched you for Cammy." says Trick.
"Yeah. Right." says Antoine.
"No, man, chill. I'm serious." says Trick. "I could skate with ya if you want."
"All right, sure." says Antoine.
Trick and Antoine go outside.
"Here, you can use Hal, my old skateboard." says Trick.
Antoine steps on Hal, then falls off and hits his nards on a railing. He then tumbles down a flight of stairs and lands face-first in a pile of prickers.
"Ouch. I guess you're just not the skating type." says Trick.
Antoine says in the confessional, "This was the worst day ever. My hat has bird crap on it, I'm still feeling the prickers, and I think there's a leech on my..." Antoine looks for a moment. "AAAAAUGH!"
Chris is at the elimination ceremony.
"If I call your name, you can get a little skull so you can eternally remember the temple." he says.
"Oh, fun." says Elle.
"Chelsey, Cammy, and Kavren." says Chris.
The three get their little skulls.
"Elle, did you do some seducing?" asks Chris.
Elle nods, and Chris passes her a skull.
"Trick." says Chris.
Trick gets his little skull.
"Toad and Antoine. Toad, you almost killed two of your teammates with a huge boulder, and you also threw Antoine into a pit. Antoine, your injuries could slow your team down."
"Just eliminate someone already!" says Elle loudly.
"The final skull goes to..."
"Antoine." says Chris.
Antoine makes a retching noise. "I'mma go puke. See ya guys tomorrow..."
"Why did you guys vote for me?" asks Toad.
"Uh, no reason." says Trick.
Trick says in the confessional, "It's kind of obvious..."
"Wait!" says Toad. "Before I go, I have to show you guys something."
"Ugh, we don't have all day." says Chris.
Toad rips off Chelsey's shirt, revealing her bra.
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" screams Chelsey.
All the boys look at Chelsey's chest.
Cammy slaps Trick, who's drooling over Chelsey.
Chelsey stomps away in a huff. "Toad, I will get my revenge..."
"YOU LOOK SEXY, BABE." yells Elle.
"That was horrifying. Toad, now you really need to go." says Chris, and he pushes Toad into the Taxi of Losers, which drives away.
"I will have that beautiful image etched into my mind for all eternity..." says Kavren.
"I feel like I've died, and gotten reborn..." says Trick.
Chapter 9 - A Piece of Pi
"Last time on Total Drama Revolution, the contestants were placed in a dangerous temple! Toad almost killed Antoine and Kavren, and Elle watched Nebraska Shore, again. The Platypi lost the challenge, and voted out Toad for his accidentally lethal ways! Who will be the next victim of elimination? Find out what happens today on Total Drama Revolution!"
Chef runs into Chris' room with a bag.
"What are you doing? And what's in the bag?" asks Chris.
Chef dumps out the bag, revealing Elle.
"It was stuffy in there." says Elle.
"Where did you get her from?!" yells Chris.
"You told me to get Elle." says Chef obviously.
"No, I told you that you were smelly." says Chris, rolling his eyes.
"Oh." says Chef. "Well, what should I do with her?"
"TAKE HER BACK TO HER TEAM!" screams Chris.
Elle runs away timidly.
"So, we voted out Toad, huh?" she asks when she gets back to the cabin.
"You weren't paying any attention at the elimination ceremony, now, were you?" asks Cammy.
"I never do." says Elle blatantly.
Chelsey is rolling around in the corner, traumatized.
"I am officially scared of Toad." she says.
"Don't worry, you're probably never going to see him again." says Elle.
"Unless he returns." says Cammy from her computer.
"Shut up, nobody likes you." says Elle.
Trick comes out of the bathroom.
"Excuse me?" he asks. "I like Cammy."
"YOU SAY THAT, LIKE, FIVE TIMES A MINUTE." says Elle.
"And I think this exact same thing happened a few chapters ago." says Cammy.
"Hey, guys, I have a radical idea!" says Kavren.
"Radical, as in radical, or radical, as in creepy?" asks Chelsey.
"A little bit of both." winks Kavren.
"Who's gonna take their shirt off now?" asks Elle pathetically.
"Nobody." says Kavren.
"Okay, something's up with him." says Cammy.
Trick nods. "Definitely."
"We're gonna play SAUSAGES!" says Kavren.
"What's that?" asks everyone with a blank expression on their faces.
"It's a super fun game." says Kavren.
"Fun, as in fun, or fun, as in disturbing?" asks Chelsey.
"A little bit of both." winks Kavren.
"So, how do you play?" asks Antoine, who comes in randomly.
"One person's in the middle, and everyone else is in a circle. The middle person goes around the circle, and the circle people ask him questions. The middle person can only respond with 'sausages', though." giggles Kavren.
Elle rolls her eyes.
"And if you smile or laugh when you say sausages, you're out!" says Kavren.
"All right, who's gonna be in the middle?" asks Antoine.
"Thanks for volunteering, Antoine!" says Kavren.
"But I don't want to--" says Antoine.
"BLOOP PORK." says Kavren.
Antoine gets in the middle.
"Elle, you start us off." says Kavren.
"Snookiiiiii." says Elle.
"Elle, it has to be a question..." says Kavren.
"Snookiiiiii?" asks Elle.
"Sausages." says Antoine, without cracking a smile.
"What equals MC squared?" asks Cammy.
"Sausages..." says Antoine.
"Have you seen mah beach ball? It's kinda round, like this..." says Trick, flexing his muscles.
"Sausages." says Antoine warily.
"What's your favorite part about Kavren?" asks Chelsey.
Antoine bursts out laughing.
"That's definitely not appropriate." says Kavren.
"I don't really like this game..." says Trick.
"Yeah, it makes me feel uncomfortable." says Cammy.
"Let's go make out in the bathroom." says Trick.
Cammy gets excited, and the two trot away.
Once they're gone, Chelsey says, "God, those two sicken me."
"We have to break them up, or eliminate one of them." says Elle.
"Kavren, you can vote with me for Trick, right?" asks Antoine.
There is no reply.
"Kavren?" asks Antoine.
Kavren is lying on his bed, sound asleep.
"He was just awake, like, 5 seconds ago." says Elle.
Antoine throws a ball at Kavren's face.
"BLERGHSCHMFNCHNEYTASCHNARPFLARPBLOOPORK!" screams Kavren.
Everyone stares at Kavren warily.
Meanwhile, the Bugs are chillaxing in their dorm.
"Vincent, what are you doing?" asks Donny.
"Sending in an application for next season." says Vincent.
"Dude, they're only taking noobs next season." says Donny.
"I'm gonna disguise myself as Tnecniv Zciweikcam." grins Vincent.
"I don't think that's gonna work..." says Donny.
"Aw, don't worry. I'll wear a Groucho disguise and a yarmulke." says Vincent.
"Ha." says Donny. "Good luck."
Ori walks up to them.
"DONNY, YOU SMELL WEIRD." says Ori loudly.
"I took a shower twenty minutes ago..." says Donny.
"Yeah. Uh-huh. I'm sure you did." says Ori angrily.
"What are you talking about?" asks Donny.
"Your pits smell like sh!ts." says Ori.
"Shut up, dude. Quit making me lose my self confidence." says Donny.
"You look nice today." grins Ori, snapping into his happy mood.
"..." says Vincent.
"SHUT UP, YOU'RE NOT PJ." says Ori.
Tasia is trying to get to know the other girls.
"So, what's shaaaaaking, guuuuuurls?" asks Tasia.
"Nothing much." says Abbey grumpily.
"Abbey..." says Mattie, poking her in the arm.
"Oh, sorry. I mean, great! You're so beautiful, Tasia!" says Abbey sarcastically.
Abbey says in the confessional, "I do not like Tasia. At. All."
"Maaaaaan, I feeeeeel tired." says Tasia.
"That's nice." says Abbey.
"Who waaaaaants to massage my bunions?" asks Tasia.
Mattie and Tasia back away.
"I washed them yesterdaaaaay." says Tasia.
Vincent and Donny are now watching the Dog in the Bog Movie.
"This movie is for, like, four year olds." says Vincent.
"Well then, why are we watchin' it?" asks Donny.
"We're bored." says Vincent.
"Ori, what in the world are you doing...?" asks Donny.
Ori is on an online dating site. He minimizes it and blocks the computer.
"Nothing..." he says.
"Ori, you want a guuuuurlfriend." says Tasia.
"NO I DON'T, SHUT UP." screams Ori.
"Come on, we all do." says Donny.
"I don't." says Mattie.
"I mean the boys." says Donny.
"I, er, have a girlfriend at home! Her name's Darr-- I mean, Monica." says Ori.
"Uh-huh." says Vincent.
"Suuuuuure." says Tasia.
"No, I'm serious. She's 5'6 and lives in Canada." says Ori.
"We all live in Canada." says Donny.
"No, I live in Michigan." says Mattie.
"I think Elle lives in Kentucky, and Dolph's New Zealand-ish or something." says Abbey.
"He's British." says Ori. "Now leave me alone, I'm gonna video chat with my girlfriend."
"What girlfriend?" asks Vincent.
Donny guffaws loudly. "Good one, man."
Ori turns on the webcam. "See, here she is."
"All I see is a weird bald dude with glasses and a beard." says Donny.
"DAD?!" screams Ori.
"Hi, son! How's your time on the show?" asks Ori's dad.
"SHUT UP, DAD." says Ori angrily.
"I miss you, son! Hope you come home soon!" says Ori's dad.
"WAIT, SO YOU WANT ME TO GET ELIMINATED?!" screams Ori,
"Naw, son, I didn't mean--" says Ori's dad.
Ori angrily turns the computer off.
"Nice girlfriend." says Donny.
"She was in a disguise." says Ori angrily.
"Dude, 'her' nametag said Darryl Gerard on it, and it looked like it was for a museum tour guide or something." says Vincent.
"All right, fine, it was my stupid dad." says Ori.
"No! Really?!" asks Vincent sarcastically.
"Shut up. I think I can get a girlfriend." says Ori.
"All right, I'd like to see ya try, maaaaan." says Tasia.
"I'M GOING TO TAKE A NAP." says Ori, and he falls asleep.
Chris meets the contestants at the center of town.
"Is there even a challenge today?" asks Chelsey.
"Yup. Each team, pick a number between 1 and 10." says Chris.
"That's it?" asks Donny.
"Yup. Kavren, you can pick for the Platypi." says Chris.
"69." giggles Kavren.
"That's not between 1 and 10." says Chris angrily.
"Fine, one." says Kavren.
"Donny, you can pick for the Bugs." says Chris.
"3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628." says Donny.
"That is correct!" yells Chris.
"Um, what was that?" asks Elle.
"It was me showing off my rad math skills." winks Donny.
"Platypi, time to go to elimination." says Chris.
"But that wasn't even a challenge!" screams Elle.
"We were running out of ideas. Give us some flack." says Chris.
Chelsey says in the confessional, "Time to vote for Trick. He's becoming super annoying."
Cammy says in the confessional, "Kavren. He's creepy, pervy, and I want him gone before I lose another shirt."
Chris is at the elimination ceremony.
"Today, you get pies." says Chris.
"Um, what do you mean? What does that have to do with anything?" asks Elle cluelessly.
Everyone sighs and groans.
"I love pie with all my butt. I'd say my heart, but my butt is bigger." says Kavren.
"Um, that's extremely disgusting." says Chelsey.
"Elle, despite your stupidity and Nebraska Shore obsession, here's the first pie." says Chris.
Elle gets her pie and eats it.
"Chelsey and Antoine are also safe."
Antoine and Chelsey get their pies.
"Cammy..." says Chris.
Cammy gets her pie, but then looks and sees Trick in the bottom two. "Oh, no."
"Kavren and Trick, the final pie goes to..."
"Kavren. Trick, it's time for you to go." says Chris.
"Fleedle deedle dup, I have a pup. His name is Trick, and he is out." says Kavren, and Antoine laughs.
"Whatever, guys. I guess I deserved this." says Trick.
Cammy is looking extremely upset.
"Aww, babe, I'll see ya soon." says Trick,
Trick kisses Cammy on the cheek. Cammy blushes.
"Well, okay. I guess you guys have a right to hate me, after all, I hung out with nobody except Cammy and acted pompous." says Trick.
"We don't hate you." says Antoine.
"Yes, we do." says Kavren. Antoine knees him in the groin.
"...All right, then." says Trick, and he hops onto the Taxi of Losers.
"See ya next time!" says Chris, as a silhouette of a person riding on a unicorn that seems to be spouting out rainbows rides across the sky.
"Was that..." asks Kavren. Antoine stares at the sky.
Chapter 10 - Just a Run and a Swim Away
Chris is on the dock of Total Drama Island for some reason.
"Welcome to the newest episode of Total... Drama... Athletics!" He then contemplates for a moment. "Whoops."
A weird redheaded boy, a fat blond girl, a scary looking Italian guy, and a hot girl with long brown hair come running past Chris.
"Who are you guys?" asks Chris strangely.
"DOYCE!" says the redhead.
"Ugh, keep moving." says the hot girl.
The fat blond girl trips and smashes her face on the dock.
"'Ey, you okay?" asks the scary Italian guy. He lifts her up and kisses her.
"I don't remember this happening..." says Chris.
The Total Drama Jumbo Jet then comes out of nowhere, and Chris gets in.
Once he's in, he sees a morbidly obese girl wearing all black, a weird psycho with purple hair jumping around, a goth girl with a bunch of cats, a weird hippie, and Chef.
"Chef, what are you doing in here?" asks Chris.
"I'm competin' in this show. I'm gonna win." says Chef.
"What the Heck?" asks Chris.
The jet then vanishes, and Chris and Chef are sent flying out of the plane.
"WHOAAAA!" screams Chris.
The two land in the Australian Outback, and are trampled by a weird guy wearing a Pokemon suit, a little-looking boy who's screaming his head off, an older-looking woman, a girl wearing all pink, a black dude in a basketball uniform, a hot snobby girl, a adventurous-looking girl with a braid, and walking slowly behind them, a rude goth guy.
"Meh..." says the goth guy.
"Come on, cheer up, why don't you?" asks the girl wearing all pink.
"WHERE ARE WE?" asks Chris.
Then, a herd of emus trample past. Chris and Chef hitch a ride on them.
"This is the weirdest intro yet..." says Chef.
The emus run all the way across the ocean to Antarctica.
"Oh, man." says Chef.
They then see a weird dude with dorky hair.
"Is that Dustin Nutria?" asks Chris.
"Baby, baby, baby, ooooohhhhh." says the kid.
"Naw. Dustin's voice ain't that high." says Chef.
Then they see a familiar-looking girl lying on the ground.
"HEATHER! You got your hair back?" asks Chris.
The girl turns around. "Huh?"
"Oh, that's not Heather." says Chef.
"Let's get out of here." says Chris.
Chris and Chef disappear in a beam of light, and are back at Revolution City.
"Where the crap were you guys?" asks an intern.
"Oh, we had something important to do." winks Chris.
Meanwhile, the Platypi are strategizing.
"All right, so Trick is gone." says Chelsey. "Thank god."
Cammy is sobbing in the bathroom.
"Oh, no. We don't want this to turn into what happened with Sierra in the France episode." says Antoine.
"Let's just boot her out..." says Elle.
"She's our next target, fo' sho." says Kavren.
Cammy starts to cry even louder.
"Aw, why can't she just shut up? She's not that chick from the Twinklefog story." says Kavren.
"Yeah, whatever. I hope it's the merge today." says Antoine.
"You idiot, there's eleven people left. The merge is when ten people are left." says Elle.
"Oh, and I'm the idiot?" asks Antoine, rolling his eyes.
In the Bugs' dorm, things are going better.
Vincent is listening to Wazz Khalifa's hit song, "Brown and Yellow."
"Brown and yellow, brown and yellow, brown and yellow, brown and yellow." sings Vincent.
"Yeah. Uh-huh. You know what it is." says Donny.
"Brown and yellow, brown and yellow, brown and yellow, brown and yellow." sings Vincent.
"That's such an inappropriate song..." says Abbey.
"Not only does it talk about bodily functions, there's like a profane word in every other line..." says Mattie.
"Profane? Since when did you care?" asks Ori.
"I am a camp counselor. I have to watch for things that aren't camp appropriate." says Mattie.
"Whatever, maaaaaan." says Tasia.
Abbey says in the confessional, "Tasia. Is. Our. Next. Target."
Chris leads the contestants to an extremely tall hill.
"What is that?" asks Chelsey warily.
"It's a soda." says Chris, pointing to what's in his hand.
"No, the thing behind you." says Chelsey.
"Oh, it's your challenge." says Chris.
"Oh, man." says Chelsey.
"We're going to freaking die now." says Vincent.
"Calm down, maaaaan." says Tasia.
"No, Vincent's actually right." says Chris.
"WHAT?!" screams Ori.
"People have died from running up this hill." says Chris.
Everyone just stares at Chris.
"See those mailboxes? They're actually tombstones." says Chris.
"You're kidding." says Donny.
"Nope. I am legitimately serious." says Chris.
"Well, can't you get sued if someone dies?" asks Antoine.
"Nope." grins Chris. "We have Court-- I mean, our lawyers."
"Whatever." says Kavren. He takes off his shirt and pants, revealing disturbingly short shorts. "LET'S DO THIS THANG!"
Cammy starts to sob.
"Your challenge is to run up that hill. It's two miles long. Then, at the top, Chef will explain the next part." says Chris. "Ready, set, GO!"
Everyone starts to run up the hill, except Cammy, who's walking behind.
"Cammy, catch up. We don't want our team to lose." says Elle angrily.
"Bwaaaaaaa..." screams Cammy.
"THIS ISN'T FUNNY, CAMMY. STOP BEING SUCH A LITTLE--" says Chelsey, and she sticks up her middle finger at Cammy.
Cammy's eyes turn gigantic, and she screams and runs away.
Cammy says in the confessional, "All right, maybe I was overreacting, but I seriously miss Tricky..."
Chelsey intrudes the confessional.
"Get it together." snaps Chelsey.
"All right, all right. Sheesh." says Cammy sadly.
The contestants finally get up the hill, with everyone arriving at the relatively same time.
"All righ'. Here's yo' challenge." says Chef.
"Is it as lethal as this first part?" asks Ori.
"Maybe." says Chef.
"Sounds good, maaaan." says Tasia.
"You guys have to swim across that super dirty lake." says Chef, pointing to a lake.
"Eww, is that poop in the water?" asks Antoine.
Chef begins to whistle.
"Lots of animals go in that water to take baths, an' stuff..." says Chef.
"Ewww." says everyone.
Kavren takes off his short-shorts, revealing swimming trunks.
"LET'S DO THIS THANG AGAIN!" says Kavren.
"Sounds fine, dude." says Antoine, who takes off his hat and sunglasses.
"Ready, go." says Chef unenthusiastically.
Antoine and Kavren begin to swim across the lake.
"This water is actually pretty nice." says Antoine.
"Yeah, I guess..." says Kavren.
"Hey, what's gripping my leg?" asks Vincent.
"I don't know..." says Donny. "Here, lemme check."
Donny puts on a pair of goggles and looks.
"Oh, my, god." says Donny. "Vincent, an ARM is grabbing you."
"Is it a human arm?!" screams Vincent.
"YES!" screams Donny.
Vincent is getting slowly dragged under.
"QUICK, DO SOMETHING!" says Donny.
Mattie jumps into the water, and grabs the arm, twisting it and setting Vincent free.
"Whoo, thanks. Ya really helped me there." says Vincent.
The person who the arm belongs to comes out of the water. He is covered in muck, but the overall shape is seen.
"Do not say a word." he says in a British accent.
Vincent pees his pants.
"Wait, that voice sounds so familiar..." says Mattie. "Are you--"
The figure vanishes.
"That was horrifying..." says Vincent.
"I think that was one of our old friends." says Donny.
"He's, like, showing up everywhere." says Mattie.
Elle is stuck in a tree.
"A little help here?" she asks.
Antoine and Kavren try to get Elle out of the tree.
"Elle, we're in the water. How did you manage to get stuck in a tree?" asks Antoine.
"No idea." says Elle. "Help me out."
A streak of rainbow light flashes across the sky, and a person is heard laughing maniacally.
"Chelsey, gimme some help here." says Elle.
Chelsey is hopping around in the water.
"What's wrong?" asks Elle.
"I just stepped on broken glass." says Chelsey painfully.
"Yeah, you can find a lot o' broken glass in th' water." says Chef from land.
"I like nice girls with gum disease, I like to tickle people's knees, don't tell me no, just tell me yes, and then we'll break..." sings Kavren. "Things made of glaaaaass."
"Another thing you have in common with Arthur." groans Chelsey.
Antoine pulls Elle out of the tree, and she falls backwards into the water.
"Ow..." she says. She stands up, and there's a snapping turtle on her butt.
"That's pleasant." says Chelsey.
Ori is floating through the water.
"Hey. Buddy. You alive?" asks Donny.
"MOM, I DON'T WANT TO TAKE MY PILLS!" screams Ori.
"I'm not your mom, and you don't need pills." says Donny.
"SHUT UP, OLD UNCLE JEFFREY!" screams Ori.
"What is this, a Gerard family reunion?" asks Vincent.
"BLARGH!" screams Ori.
Donny pats Ori's head.
"Eeeeasy." says Vincent.
The Epic Platypi are almost all at the finish line, sopping wet and muddy.
"Elle, hurry up." says Chelsey.
"I'm trying. Relax." says Elle, who's just doggie-paddling.
Antoine comes out of nowhere, picks up Elle, and carries her to the finish line.
"I can see your abs through your shirt, Antoine." says Chelsey.
Elle makes a sexy purring sound.
"All righ', the Plats win." says Chef. "Bugs, go to elimination."
"FINALLY." says Kavren.
Kavren says in the confessional, "I've been thinking a little bit... Bloops. And I realized that I kind of like Chelsey. I know it sounds creepy and disturbing, but she's super hot. And I also know that she's too popular for me, and I'm just a little simple suds. But I think if I try, and show off 'the real me', then I can woo her."
"Kavren, let's play Truth or Dare." says Antoine.
"Nah, I'm good." says Kavren anxiously.
"Ooh, you're blushing. Does that mean you like somebody?" asks Antoine.
Cammy, upon hearing those words, bursts into tears.
"If we didn't win this challenge, she'd be dead meat..." says Elle.
"I think Kavren likes me." says Chelsey.
"Dude, he said he liked Abbey like two chapters ago. Remember, when he was falling down that pit?" asks Elle.
"You can like two people at the same time." says Chelsey. "For instance, I think Sean Neyugn and Spam Hildefrad are kinda hot."
"Those boys are creeps." says Elle. "Sean always eats oatmeal, and Spam shakes it up too much."
"What exactly do you mean by that?" asks Chelsey.
"Uh, I don't know..." says Elle.
Chelsey rolls her eyes.
The Bugs are thinking about who to eliminate in their dorm.
"Guys, I'm seriously scared of Dolph." says Mattie.
"Yeah, man, he reminds me of that one guy in Noahguy202's story." says Vincent.
"You mean the creep who was like third eliminated but then came back and looked like The Riddler?" asks Donny.
"Yeah, him. I'm worried Dolph is gonna turn out like that..." says Abbey.
"You little lizards can think all you want about dumb old Dolph, but I'm actually going to vote." says Ori angrily.
"Whatever you say, maaaaan." says Tasia.
Ori is voting in the confessional. "Mattie. I don't know, she's kind of bland."
Chris is at the elimination ceremony. "Today, I'm going to pass out broken glaaaass."
"It's fun to run, it's fun to--" begins Vincent.
"No, no, no." says Chris. "But you still get the first glass."
Vincent gets his glass.
"Donny and Abbey are also safe." says Chris.
Donny and Abbey get their broken glass.
"Tasia, you're safe." says Chris.
"Sweeeeet, duuuuude." says Tasia. A piece of glass hits her in the head.
"Ori and Mattie. The final piece of broken glass goes to..."
"Ori."
"Never vote for Oriana Slicersun Gerard!" screams Ori.
"Oriana? That's a girl's name." says Donny.
"Uh, I don't think that's our top priority right now... Mattie was eliminated..." says Abbey.
"WHAT?" asks Vincent.
"That's right. You idiots didn't vote, because you were too busy worrying about Dolph. While you were doing that, I voted Mattie." says Ori evilly.
"Ori, you @#$%." says Abbey.
"Well, bye guys. It's such a shame that my experience had to be ruined by some creepy, bipolar girl-boy." says Mattie.
"Girl-boy?!" screams Ori, enraged.
Mattie walks to the Taxi of Losers.
Everyone glares at Ori, except for Vincent and Donny.
"Yeah, she was a little boring..." says Donny.
"NO, SHE WASN'T. SHE WAS VALUABLE." yells Abbey.
Chapter 11 - My World 2.n0
"Last time on Total Drama Revolution, the contestants had to run up a hill and swim through a dirty river. The Bugs lost, and Ori voted off Mattie. How will the contestants react to the merge? Fine out today, on Total Drama Revolution!" begins Chris.
The contestants walk outside, and see a sign that says "Merge 2Day."
"I guess we should start movin' our stuff, eh?" asks Vincent.
"Yeah, man." says Donny.
"So, the merge, huh?" asks Chelsey in her dorm.
"The other team girls are weird." says Elle.
"Yeah, there's that woozy girl, and then that other, mysterious girl." says Chelsey.
"I want the woozy one out, NOW." says Abbey, coming into the room.
"Hi. What's your name again?" asks Elle.
"My name's Steve." says Abbey sarcastically.
"Her name is Abby." says Chelsey.
"Abbey." says Abbey. "I'm not Nic's belly."
"Hey, guuuuurls." says Tasia, crawling into the room.
"Ugh, she's here." says Abbey. "Can we just vote her out now?"
"Why do ya haaaate me soooo much, maaaaan?" asks Tasia.
"You're extremely annoying." says Abbey.
"You need to watch Nebraska Shore. It's epic." says Elle.
"That show's stuuuupid, maaaan." says Tasia.
"You, my friend, have just made an enemy for life." says Elle.
"Two enemies, actually." says Chelsey.
"Wake up!" screams Kavren in the boys cabin.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Brush mah teeth!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Get dressed!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Stare at Chelsey!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Get kicked in the groin!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Start to cry!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Infiltrate the shower!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Get kicked again!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Black out in the bathroom!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Play some Wuu!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Fart on Vincent!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Get scolded at!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Eat some candy!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Get explosive diarrhea!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Turn green!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Stick my head in the toilet!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"Now I'm dead!" says Kavren.
"Like a boss!" says Antoine.
"...What was that?" asks Donny, coming into the room.
"I'm the bawss." says Kavren.
"That's cool." says Donny.
"I'm the bawss." says Kavren.
"Yeah, you already told me that." says Donny.
"I'm the bawss." says Kavren.
"What are you losers doing?" asks Ori, walking into the room. "I only got half an hour of sleep last night."
"We're having fun. Ever heard of it?" asks Kavren.
"Yeah, calm down, Oriana." says Donny.
A flushing noise is heard in the bathroom.
"Who just took a wazz? I didn't know there was anyone in there..." says Vincent.
Antoine walks in. "There's not." he says cautiously.
"That's super creepy, man." says Donny.
"Was it...?" asks Vincent. "You know..."
"I sure hope not." says Ori.
"Who? Was it who?" asks Kavren curiously.
"Remember that weird guy, Dolph?" asks Donny.
"You mean that jerk who was first eliminated or whatever?" asks Antoine.
"Yeah. Well, he's back, and he has a Nyan Cat." says Vincent.
"ZOMGLEE, I LOVE NYAN CATS!" says Kavren happily.
Chris comes into the boys' cabin.
"Everyone, a very special guest is here for the challenge, so you have to give him your best attention..." he says.
"You don't seem so happy." says Vincent.
"Follow me, and you'll find out why." says Chris sadly.
The boys head to the amphitheater, followed by the girls.
Two big, buff men come out. Their shirts say "SECURITY" on them, and they're wearing sunglasses.
"Security guards?" asks Chelsey.
"No, there's a famous person behind them, idiot." says Cammy.
"SNOOKI?" asks Elle excitedly.
A little-looking boy with stupid hair comes out.
"Hey, shawties! Lookin' fine!" says the boy in a freakishly high voice.
Elle pukes on Chelsey's lap, then passes out in the puke.
"Everyonesayhellotodustinnutria." says Chris curtly.
"Hey, brothas!" says Dustin.
"What is SHE doing here?" asks Ori.
"Yo, Chrissy told me to host today's challenge, yo!" says Dustin.
"Oh, god. Help me, please..." says Abbey.
Tasia takes out a pill from her pocket. "Take this, maaaan."
"So, shawties and brothas, yo' challenge is to write me a song. The best song wins invincibility, an' gets t' spend th' night with me!" says Dustin.
"I'm losing on purpose..." says Vincent.
"Since when did Dustin Nutria talk like Devin?" asks Cammy.
"I's always talked like dis, yo." says Dustin.
Five hours later, Dustin calls the contestants back to the stage.
"Yo, dawgs, time t' show me yo' songs." says Dustin.
"Who wants to go first?" asks Ori.
"You, li'l boiii! Since ya kindly volunteered." says Dustin. "Whatcha got?"
Ori comes up to the stage, and puts on a stupid wig.
"Is that s'posed ta be makin' fun o' me, yo?" asks Dustin.
"No..." says Ori. "Can I just start the song already?"
Dustin turns on some music.
"My name is Dustin." sings Ori. "I'm not a guy."
"WHAT?!" screams Dustin.
"I say I am," says Ori. "But I lie."
Dustin begins to cry.
"My name is Dustin," says Ori. "I'm not a guy. But I'm a girl..."
"Um, no I'm not." says Dustin. "Ya get a thwee outta ten, shawty."
"I'm a boy." says Ori angrily.
"Whatevs, babe." says Dustin. "Nex' up, Tasia."
"I don't have a song, maaaan." says Tasia.
"I don' care, jus' make somethin' up, sweetums." says Dustin.
"No way, maaaaan." says Tasia.
"YOU DO WHAT I SAY, DARLIN'." says Dustin crossly.
Tasia throws a ball at Dustin, and it hits him in the head, knocking him out.
"Uh, what just happened?" asks Chris, coming out of the bathroom.
"Dustin just died." says Antoine. "I mean, I hope."
"Well, since Ori was the only one to actually perform a song, he wins." says Chris.
"YES!" screams Ori. "In your face, you @#$%es!"
"PG." glares Chris.
"Wait, does that mean that I have to spend the night with Dustin?" asks Ori sadly.
"Yup." says Chris. "Sorry, bud."
Everyone laughs at Ori.
"I guess I'll get set up in mah dorm, bro." says Dustin.
"Whatever." says Ori gloomily.
Kavren is sitting in his bed, blowing bubbles.
Kavren says in the confessional, "Poopsalot. I'm gonna ask out some girl, I'm super bored."
"Hey, bro, where ya goin'?" asks Antoine.
"Asking out a girl. I'm super bored." says Kavren.
"Don't you have other things to do?" asks Donny.
"Yeah, but I'm choosing not to do them." says Kavren.
Kavren walks to the girls' dorm.
"Hey, maaaan. Whatcha doin'?" asks Tasia.
"Asking out a girl." says Kavren.
"Ooooh. Whoooo?" asks Tasia.
"Chelsey." says Kavren.
Tasia slaps her head and shakes it. "Sit down, maaaan."
"What do ya want?" asks Kavren. "I gotta whizz, hurry up."
"Don't ask out Chelsey, duuude." says Tasia. "She may be hoooot, but she's not the right giiiirl."
"Why?" asks Kavren. "I think she could say yes..."
"She won't say yes. That's the proooooblem." says Tasia.
"Yeah, she's too busy hanging out with Elle and being mean." says Kavren.
"Yeeeeah, and Donny likes her, toooo. And he's more hoooootter than you, maaaan." says Tasia. "No offense."
"More hotter?" asks Kavren.
"Pleeeeease excuse my grammar, maaaan." says Tasia. "So, yeah. Not Chelsey."
"So who should I ask out?" asks Kavren.
"Definitely not meeee. I'm a looooone wolf." says Tasia.
"So that leaves Elle, Cammy, and..." says Kavren.
"Abbey?" asks Tasia.
Kavren starts to blush.
"Whaaaat?" asks Tasia. She starts poking Kavren. "You liiiike her."
"No." says Kavren, trying to hide in his shirt.
"Yeeeeeah." says Tasia. "She's a babe, I don't blame ya."
"Shut up." says Kavren, trying not to smile.
"Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it." says Tasia.
"Do what, shawty?" asks Dustin, coming out of the bathroom.
"It." says Kavren.
Dustin lets out a little shriek and passes out.
"Yeah, come on, maaaan." says Tasia.
Donny, Antoine, Ori, and Vincent come out of the boys cabin.
"What are you guys doing here?" asks Kavren suspiciously.
"We heard an ask out was going on." says Antoine.
"And I can't miss it!" says Vincent. "Ask outs make me giddy."
Ori is eating popcorn. "Perfect."
"Where did ya get that, yo?" asks Dustin, getting up.
Donny kicks him in the groin, and he falls back down.
Abbey comes out of the girls cabin, going to the bathroom.
"Do it." whispers Tasia.
"Hey, guys, what's up with the crowd?" asks Abbey.
Kavren pulls her into the bathroom. "Yikes!" says Abbey.
"Hey, Abbey.." says Kavren. "You're hot."
Abbey blushes. "Thanks..."
Abbey says in the confessional, "All right. At the beginning of this season, I swore I wasn't going to like any boys. I even signed up as The Hard To Get Girl. But Kavren is so different from all the boys in my school. He's a freak, but he's cute and he's funny. So, if he asks me out..."
Kavren goes back into his room. "Come on, boiiiiis."
Abbey waves at the boys. "...Maybe tomorrow. I still have to think..."
"That's fiiiine, maaaan. Take as much time as you neeeed." says Tasia.
"Wait, why am I talking to you? I hate you." says Abbey, and she walks away.
Kavren says in the confessional, "Oooh, we're not voting yet. Pick the cutest contestant, Abbey." He presses the button on the "survey."
Donny says in the confessional, "Cammy did nothing today. She's out."
Cammy says in the confessional, "I did nothing today. Cool."
Chris is at the elimination ceremony. "Today, Dustin will call out the names who are safe."
"Toss-e-a." says Dustin. "Ches-lee."
Tasia and Chelsey groan.
"Ell. Oar-eye. Dough-knee." says Dustin.
The three flip off Dustin.
"Kavren, Vincent, and Cammy." says Chris, pushing Dustin aside.
The three get their items.
"Antoine and Abbey. I guess people just don't like the letter A." says Chris. "The person who's safe is..."
"Antoine." says Chris. "Abbey, you're out. And know who was the deciding vote? Kavren."
"B-b-but..." says Abbey. "Kavren, I thought you liked me."
"HEY CHRIS. DID YOU DISGUISE THIS AS THE VOTING DEVICE?" asks Kavren, holding up his survey.
"Yes, and guess who you declared the hottest contestant?" asks Chris.
"Oh, god." says Kavren.
A flashback is shown, showing Kavren voting for Abbey.
"Well, bye, guys. I'm starting to have second thoughts about Kavren..." says Abbey, leaving.
"Aw, noodles-in-a-cup." says Kavren.
"Actually, I'm glad she left. You would get Trimmy syndrome if she stayed, and that's not good." says Donny.
Cammy glares at Donny.
"Oh, god. You're right." says Ori. "Abbey, get the @#$% out of here."
Abbey gets in the car and leaves.
"Dustin, I changed my mind, you're not spending the night." says Chris.
"All right, then. I can live with that." says Dustin in a strange voice.
"Uh, that's not your real voice, is it? Because it sounds way deeper and British-er..." says Chris.
"Well, I'm not the real Dustin Nutria." says 'Dustin'.
He takes off a mask, and his clothing, revealing Dolph.
"Hello, everyone. Did you like my little trick?" asks Dolph.
"What the..." says Elle.
"Chris, let me back in the game, or you will have night terrors about a rainbow kitten." says Dolph.
"No way. You're creepy." says Chris.
"Dolph Anderson Alfred Garrison Harrison Larrison Barrison Rainbows III is AWAY!" says Dolph. He whistles, and his Nyan Cat comes out of nowhere and flies him into the starry sky.
"We have got to call the cops." says Chris.
Chapter 12 - Revolution Jungle
"Last time on Total Drama Revolution, the contestants got a surprise visit from Dustin Nutria, the abhorrent singer who we all know and hate. Abbey got booted out, who knows why? And it was just when Kavren started to like her. But it's actually good for the guy, we don't want him to end up like someone else. Who will be eliminated next? Will we think of any challenges? Find out today on Total Drama Revolution!" says Chris.
Kavren is playing video games in his dorm.
"Hey, guys, I have to ask you something." says Kavren.
"Sure." says Antoine.
"Go for it, bro." says Donny.
"What size bra do you think Abbey wears?" asks Kavren. "I've been thinking about that for a while..."
"That is disgusting, dude." says Donny.
"I know you think about that for Chelsey." says Vincent. "Don't deny it, dude."
Donny blushes. "Well, Chelsey is hot. Abbey's meh."
"What are you talking about, fools?" asks Ori, stepping out of the bathroom. "Abbey's crazy hot."
"Let's rate the girls. We boys need girlfriends. So far, there's only one real relationship, and that's Geoff and Bridgette 2.0." says Antoine.
"All right, Lizza." says Vincent. "Maybe a one."
"Zero point five." says Donny.
"Negative ten." says Antoine.
"PJ?" asks Kavren.
"I give her a two. She's a little fat." says Donny.
"Did she even say anything during her time on the show?" asks Ori.
"She said 'muh', and '...'." says Kavren.
"How do you say '...'?" asks Donny.
"Dot-dot-dot." says Kavren. "All right, what about Kim?"
"Eww, she was fugly. I give her a two." says Ori.
"She wasn't that bad, but we barely knew anything about her, and she had that creepy hand thing." says Donny.
"You two seem similar in a way." says Vincent. "You and Kim. I can't place my finger on it, though..."
"What about MacKenzie?" asks Antoine.
"Ten." says Kavren.
"Twelve." says Donny.
"Over nine thousand." says Ori.
"Guys, she wasn't that hot. She was a Mary Sue." says Vincent.
"Yeah, true. What about Mattie?" asks Donny.
"I remember her. She was kind of bland." says Kavren. "But she's Abbey's friend, so that's good enough for me."
"She was super hot, though." says Donny. "And I think our creeper friend has a crush on her."
"You mean Dolph?" asks Vincent.
"No, I mean Louie McSchmicklegoobersonschnitzel." says Donny sarcastically.
"There was a contestant named Louie McSchmickle--" says Antoine.
"No, I was just joshin' ya." says Donny.
Kavren is listening to 'Strip them Down' on his uPod.
"This is, like, my favorite TDWT song." says Kavren.
"Uh-huh. Of course it is." says Antoine.
"It's just because you have a crush on Courtney." says Ori.
"One, how did you know that? And two, she's a sexy goddess." says Kavren.
"I don't know that. I was just guessing..." says Ori.
Kavren's diary falls out of Ori's backpack.
Ori facepalms.
"CITQueen is especially hot. You know, that Courtney cosplayer?" asks Antoine.
"Oh, yeah. I got excited when I saw a picture of her." says Donny.
"I'm faithful to Sonicxluv46." says Vincent.
The girls are watching Nebraska Shore.
"Come on, Tasia, isn't this quality entertainment?" asks Chelsey.
"Noooo, maaaan. I'd raaaather watch Baaaabies and Crooooowns." says Tasia.
"That show is horrifying, though." says Elle.
"Tasia, why are you even watching? I'm on my wiki." says Cammy.
"What's a wiki, maaaan?" asks Tasia.
"I'm creating your page right now." says Cammy. "What do you want your stereotype to be?"
"The awesome guuuurl." says Tasia.
"Uh, no." says Elle, while watching Nebraska Shore. "She's not awesome."
"To be awesome, you have to think awesome." says Chelsey.
"Hey, isn't that a quote from..." says Elle.
"Only my favorite reality show contestant ever." says Chelsey. "God, he was so hilarious."
"And hot." says Elle. "Really hot."
"Especially in his speedo thingy." says Chelsey.
"What are you guys taaaaalking about, maaaan?" asks Tasia.
"Some story. Don't worry about them." says Cammy.
Chris meets the contestants outside to explain the challenge.
"Today's challenge is brought to you by a fan." says Chris.
"Oh, great." says Chelsey.
"Each contestant will have to dress up/impersonate a former Total Drama School or Total Drama: Tiki Jungle contestant. You will be judged on how accurate you are." says Chris. "By the contestants themselves."
"I choose Elena." says Chelsey.
"No, no, you don't get to choose. Here's the hat from the wedding episode." says Chris.
Chef brings in his giant hat, and a crane.
"Kavren, you can pick first. Oh, and if you get a character with the opposite gender, that's not my fault." says Chris.
Kavren picks Arthur from the hat.
"Aw, sweet! Hey buddy!" says Kavren.
"Hey, dude. I've tightened my peanuts." says Arthur, who is taller and has lost weight.
"You don't look that morbidly obeeeese anymore." says Kavren.
"Yeah, I've lost a lot of weight, man. Let's not do the challenge and talk about video games." says Arthur.
"But I'll lose." says Kavren.
"If you do, and you get eliminated, then you can just come to my house and we can hang." says Arthur.
"Good point, dude." says Kavren.
"Antoine, you can pick next." says Chris.
Antoine picks Manty out of the hat.
"What the heck?" asks Antoine. "This guy was my least favorite character."
"He was everyone's." says Chris.
"Hey, dude! My shoes are fixed!" says Manty, who has not changed a bit in terms of appearance.
"Give me them." says Antoine.
"Why, man? These things are precious!" says Manty.
"I need them for the challenge." says Antoine.
"What challenge?" asks Manty.
Antoine sighs and shakes his head.
Vincent picks Chrissy out of the hat.
"Hey, dude. Cool hair." says Chrissy.
"Seriously, Chris? I have to dress up like a girl." says Vincent.
"You did it before." says Donny. "Vincecca Blackiewicz, remember?"
"Your turn, Donny." says Chris.
Donny picks Alex from the hat, who is asleep.
"Ugh, darn it." says Donny, and he drags Alex away.
"Now, it's Ori's turn." says Chris.
"Please don't be a girl. If it is, at least a hot one..." pleads Ori.
Ori picks Helga from the hat.
"AWW, NO! SHE WAS THE ONE PERSON I DIDN'T WANT!" says Ori loudly.
"Listen, dipthong, just agree with everything I say and you'll be fine." says Helga snidely.
"What book is that?" asks Ori.
"None of your business." says Helga. Under her breath, she says, "Idiot."
"All right, now it's time for the girls to pick. Elle, you can go first." says Chris.
Elle picks Nic out of the hat. He's taller and more in shape.
"Aww, I was hoping to get Abbey." says Nic.
"Abbey just got eliminated, arse." says Elle.
"Wanna see my Abby?" asks Nic.
"No, I'd rather not." says Elle.
"Hey, that chick's hot." says Arthur. Kavren nods.
"AAAUGH!" screams Elle. She begins to shiver.
"What's wrong, babe?" asks Arthur.
"F-f-fat... People..." says Elle.
"She's afraid of fat people." explains Chelsey. "And it looks like it's my turn. Oh, joy."
Chelsey picks Julia out of the hat.
"Ugh. A tall person?" asks Julia, who has not grown even half an inch.
"How are you doing with the money?" asks Chris.
"None of your beeswax." says Julia angrily.
"She spent it all on Bavarian sausages." explains Arthur.
"ARTHUR, SHUT UP!" yells Julia.
"Come on, Julia, let's go. You know, you were my favorite in Tik--" says Chelsey.
"I don't care." whines Julia.
"Cammy, it's your turn." says Chris.
Cammy picks Devin from the hat.
"Are you serious?" asks Cammy. "Well, he is a fan-favorite..."
"Yo, yo, shawty! You's lookin' fine, yo!" says Devin.
"No, I am not." says Cammy. "Gimme your hat."
Devin gives Cammy his hat.
"Want th' pants?" asks Devin.
"Sure, but I am not sagging no matter what." says Cammy.
"And last but not least, Tasia." says Chris.
"All riiiiight, maaan." says Tasia.
Tasia picks Sharissa from the hat. She has red hair now and is way taller.
"Hai, hai, hai!" screams Sharissa.
Cammy shudders. "Thanks to KingRedPop, I cannot look at her the same way ever again..."
"What's wrong, toots?" asks Sharissa.
"..." says Cammy. "Tasia, get her away from me..."
An hour later, the contestants are ready to perform.
Kavren comes up first. He is wearing a green shirt and blue jeans that are much too big for him. He is wearing glasses and his hair is styled like Arthur's. He also seems to have pillows in his shirt.
"I'm morbidly obeeeese." says Kavren. "My peanuts are looooose."
Arthur claps. "Excellent represental."
"Pete and Repeat sat on a wall. Pete fell off. Who was left?" asks Kavren.
"You even remembered that?" asks Arthur. "Good job, boy."
Antoine comes out. He is wearing gray gym shorts, a blue shirt that says "LAX" on it, no sunglasses, and Manty's infamous shoes.
"My shoes!" gasps Manty.
"I'm so popular and cool. I think I'm all that even though I'm not. I have awesome shoes. Blah, blah, blah." says Antoine.
Manty gasps and begins to tear up.
"I have a crush on like all the girls here." says Antoine. He then kicks off Manty's shoes and they hit Chris in the head.
"Ow..." says Chris. "What's the big idea?"
Vincent then comes out, in an abhorrent girl's outfit. He is wearing a brown wig, a gray tanktop, a washable skull tattoo, cutoff shorts, and red sneakers.
"Oh, no. I was already traumatized with Vincecca." says Donny.
"Hi! I'm Chrissy! I don't take any guff from anybody." says Vincent.
'Hey Vince, here's that latte you wanted." says an intern.
Vincent kicks the intern in the stomach.
"See what I mean?" says Vincent.
Chrissy comes out, and shrugs.
"Now, will you go out with me?" asks Vincent, taking off his wig.
"Chris, may I leave now?" asks Chrissy.
"Please do." says Chris.
Somebody with red and brown hair comes in driving a limo. Chrissy hops in and drives away as fast as she can.
Donny comes out wearing a familiar wig. He falls asleep in front of everyone.
"I can't think of anything else that would portray me better." says Alex, and falls asleep.
Ori then comes out, and reads a book.
"What Alex said." says Helga.
Elle comes out with a purple sweatshirt and short shorts on.
"I'm Nic. I'm hot and sexy and buff and I have an Abby and she's super hot and sexy and do you wanna see her? Please? Please?" asks Elle.
Nic makes a clicking noise.
Chelsey comes in, and she is crouched down. She is wearing a red hair wig.
"ARTHUR, SHUT UP." she yells.
Cammy comes out with a familiar green shirt, a familiar gray hat, and familiar blue jeans. She is not sagging.
"Yo, yo, yo! I'm a gangsta!" says Cammy. "I'm th' Devmeister!"
"Yeeeeah, boiiii." says Devin.
"I'm a girl." says Cammy obviously.
"Yeeeeah, girliiii." says Devin.
Tasia comes out with lots of make up and lipstick on.
"AAAAAIEEEEEE!" she screams. She then faints.
"What just happened?" asks Sharissa, coming out. "Sharissa Zydras Scot is not responsible for any injuries that may have occurred."
Tasia gets up. "I haaaaven't talked that loud for like ten yeeeears..."
Sharissa picks up Alex and runs away.
Devin and the others leave, too.
"I think Donny portrayed his character the best." says Chris, and he glances at Donny, who is still in the wig, sleeping. "The rest of you, go vote somebody who is not named Donny out."
"Hey, girls, wanna vote with us?" winks Kavren.
"Kavren, I thought you liked Abbey." says Chelsey.
"We're not exclusive." scoffs Kavren.
There is a scraping noise, and the grate on the ceiling begins to shake.
"Oh, I wonder who that is." says Vincent sarcastically.
"Psst. Guys. Open up." says a voice from the grate.
"No, we don't want to be kidnapped." says Vincent.
The grate falls, and Dolph hurtles down from the ceiling. His appearance has considerably changed. His hat is missing, his soul patch is now a full-grown beard, his shirt is unbuttoned, and his pants are ripped.
"Don't call my name, don't call my name. Alejandro. I'm not your babe, I'm not your babe. Fernando." sings Dolph.
"I hate that song." says Elle. "It reminds me of Al."
"It reminds EVERYONE of Al." says Chelsey. "It must be Nic's favorite song..."
"Ale-alejandro, Ale-alejandro." sings Dolph.
"Chris said you weren't allowed to return." says Antoine.
"I know. I just have to tell you guys something. Ori is in the bathroom, right?" asks Dolph.
"Yeah." says Vincent.
"Well, he brutally booted out Mattie. And I like Mattie. So, guys, tonight, vote Ori." says Dolph.
"No, man. You don't tell us what to do. And I like Ori." says Kavren.
"Well, we don't." says Chelsey. "Come on, gurls. Let's vote him out."
"Thanks, Dolph, I guess." says Elle.
Dolph winks, and mysteriously disappears.
Chris is at the elimination ceremony. "Devin dropped his pants, so we cut them up and decided to use them as the symbol for safety tonight."
"Gotta get pants! Go get your pants! Button, flyyy!" sings Donny.
"Donny, you won the challenge, so you get the first pants." says Chris.
"Don't want a kiss, don't want a touch, just smoke my cigarette, hush..." says a voice, appearing from behind Chris.
Chris points to the Taxi of Losers, and the person gets in. "Tasia, Elle, and Chelsey are safe."
Tasia, Elle, and Chelsey get their pants.
"Vincent, Kavren, and Antoine." says Chris.
Vincent, Kavren, and Antoine get their pants.
"Cammy and Ori. The final pants goes to..."
"Cammy."
Cammy giggles, and gets her pants. "Bye, Oriana."
"All right, guys. It was a pleasure to meet you all." says Ori. He high-fives Kavren and the other boys.
"Thank god he wasn't in his mean mode..." says Elle. Chelsey nods.
Ori then snaps. "WAIT, WHY AM I WALKING TO THE TAXI OF LOSERS?! DID YOU GUYS--"
Two buff interns grab Ori and drag him to the Taxi of Losers.
Ori then sees the driver. "DAD?!"
"Hi, son! We have to go to your Guppies swim meet!" says Ori's dad.
Ori curses several times, and the car drives off.
"See what happens next time, I guess." says Chris.
Chapter 13 - Bumping Karts
"Last time on Total Drama Revolution, the contestants did stuff. I really don't remember any of the details. Oh, yeah, some past comtestants appeared. And Ori was eliminated, thanks to Dolph. So, yeah. Can we just cut to the extremely boring section with the contestants chilling in their rooms?"
The boys are listening to weird videos on MyCircle.
"This guy has no life whatsoever." says Donny, watching a video.
"Is that Friday?" asks Vincent. "Wait, no, that's a dude..."
"Eww, what's up with his mole?" asks Antoine.
"This video's hilarious." giggles Kavren.
"Of course you would think that." says Vincent.
"Can we watch something different? Like Kathy Beth Terry's new song, Last Wednesday Morning." says Donny.
"Or SonicxLuv46 singing Kathy Beth Terry's new song, Last Wednesday Morning." says Vincent.
"Or me and Lou rapping SonicxLuv46's cover of Kathy Beth Terry's new song, Last Wednesday Morning." says Antoine.
"Or a sexual parody of Antoine and Lou rapping SonicxLuv46's cover of Kathy Beth Terry's new song, Last Wednesday Morning." says Kavren.
"I wish Ori was still around." says Donny.
"Why, man? He was a weirdo." says Antoine.
"I know, but he was fun." says Donny.
"He had a girl's name." says Kavren.
"Well, Kavren is pretty much Karen with a V." says Vincent.
"My parents made my name up. My brothers have cooler names, I wish I was them." says Kavren.
"What are their names?" asks Antoine.
"Danny, Vance, and Anthony." says Kavren.
"Um, those are basically our names." says Vincent.
Donny laughs extremely loudly. "That's epic!"
"Yeah, and I'm Kavren. I'm changing my name to Steve when I'm 18." says Kavren.
"Uh, okay?" says Antoine.
The girls are trying to strategize, but are getting distracted by old reruns of Total Drama: Tiki Jungle.
"I loved this episode so much." says Elle.
"Ooh, was it the one where Trey took off his shirt?" asks Chelsey.
"Yeah." says Elle. "He's so hot."
"No, he's fugly. But I do like his abs. They're not as good as The Predicament's though." says Chelsey.
"What are you guys talking about, maaaan?" asks Tasia.
Chelsey says in the confessional, "Tasia is so a stoner."
"They're talking about Tiki. Aw, crap, I just got eliminated from Countdown." says Cammy.
"What the funk is Countdown?" asks Elle.
"Who cares?" says Chelsey.
"Probably some nerd thing, duuuude." says Tasia.
"Tasia, I thought you were my friend!" says Cammy.
"I am, maaaan. But we all know you're neeeeerdy." says Tasia.
"Ugh. Whatevers." says Cammy, and returns to her computer.
Chris meets the contestants outside, on a race track.
"Today, your challenge is a road race. But first you have to build your cars. So get to it." says Chris.
"Do we haaaave to?" asks Tasia.
"Yes. Yes, you do." says Chris.
Chelsey is building a car consisting of purple glitter.
"Purple and glitter. My two favorite things." says Chelsey.
"Hey, can I ride in that too?" asks Elle.
"No, sorry, gurl. It's only enough room for one person." says Chelsey.
"Fine. I'll just build my Snookiiii mobile." says Elle.
Elle walks into a tool shed, and comes out with a head resembling someone from Total Drama: Revenge of the Island.
"Where did you get that? I don't remember buying it." says Chris.
"Uh, Chris?" asks Chef.
"What?" says Chris.
"Nothing. Never mind, man." says Chef.
Elle tapes the head onto her car.
"I love this car so much. I'm gonna take it home with me." says Elle.
Antoine and Vincent are having trouble with their cars.
"Vincent, that's not a car. It's a pillow with wheels taped to it." says Antoine.
"So what, man? I'm still going to win." says Vincent.
"No, you're not. My Squirrelmobile is gonna pound you to the ground." says Antoine.
"Uh, that doesn't look like a squirrel." says Kavren. "It looks like a thingadingaling."
"Way to be appropriate, Kavren." says Antoine.
"Although, it kinda does look like a..." says Donny.
Antoine slaps Donny.
"Squirrel." says Donny. "It looks exactly like a squirrel."
"Okay, good." says Antoine. "Donny, are those pants on wheels?"
"Yes. Yes, they are." says Donny. "Gotta get pants."
"Kavren, what the crap is your car supposed to be?" asks Antoine.
"Hahaha." says Kavren. "It's a cool face."
"It looks like it's trolling me." says Donny.
"Problem?" says the car.
"I programmed it to say that whenever it passes somebody." says Kavren.
"FFFFFUUUUU--" says Vincent.
"Forever alone." says Donny.
"Oh, my god. Kavren, change your car. Now." says Cammy.
"You're not the boss of me, ploopy." says Kavren.
"You little..." says Cammy.
Cammy says in the confessional, "I'm usually a nice person, but Kavren has been trying to ruin me and Trick's relationship forever. So I hate him. I'm gonna have to beat him in the race."
"You're going down." says Cammy. "Hard."
The smoothie guy comes in, wearing a sandwich board. "Who wants some noodles in a cup? Noodles in a cup for sale! They're only $4.99 plus tax."
Kavren grins. "Haw."
"You don't charge tax for food, moron." says Elle.
"I do, whether you like it or not." says the smoothie guy.
"Oh, god. Vincent. Run." says Donny.
"YOU." screams the smoothie guy.
He begins to chase after Vincent and Donny, who hide behind a bush.
"I'll get you, eventually." says the smoothie guy, and he walks away cursing, and stepping on the fainted Tasia.
"That hurt, maaaan. Be nice." says Tasia.
The smoothie guy gives Tasia "the finger."
"That isn't the greatest example of niiiice, maaaan." says Tasia.
"I don't really care." says the smoothie guy.
Chris meets the contestants at the starting line.
"All right, let me survey your vehicles." says Chris. He starts with Antoine's. "Is that a squirrel, or a thingadingaling?"
"Gosh, man." says Antoine, slapping his head.
"Cammy, what is this?" says Chris.
"It's the thing on my shirt. A gangstasaurus." says Cammy.
"It doesn't have wheels." says Chris.
The gangstasaurus roars, and stomps on the ground. Cammy winks.
"How did you..." says Chris. "Moving on to Chelsey."
Chelsey waves in her Glam-mobile.
"Purple glitter?" asks Chris.
"Yeah, dude." says Chelsey. "Word."
"Donny, pants? Seriously?" asks Chris.
"Gotta get pants! Go get your pants! Button, flyyy!" says Donny.
"We've heard that song a lot." says Chris.
"Yeah, man. It's fine." says Donny.
"Elle, that's not Snooki. It's A--" says Chris.
"I DON'T CARE. I LIKE TO BELIEVE IT'S SNOOKI, SO IS THAT OKAY, OLD SOT?" screams Elle.
"..." says Chris. "On to Kavren."
"Problem?" asks Kavren's car.
"Oh, god. I'm not even going to start on that one." says Chris.
"Tasia, where's your car?" asks Vincent.
"I didn't build one, maaaan." says Tasia.
"Vincent, your car is just a pillow with wheels." says Chris.
"Watch it win, man." says Vincent.
"Yeah, I doubt it." says Chris. "But anyways, Tasia, you don't have anything."
"I'm faaaast. I can win." says Tasia.
"All right, whatever." says Chris.
Chef blows the starting cannon. "GO!"
Everyone starts to drive. Elle and Chelsey's cars keep bumping into each other.
"Elle, MOVE!" screams Chelsey.
"I'm your pal, but I wanna win this thing." says Elle angrily.
Elle slams the brakes. A dude with a hat is walking across the track, relaxed.
"Yo." he says.
"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" screams Elle. Suddenly, her car hits a rock and explodes, making Chelsey's explode as well.
"Aww." says Chelsey.
Donny is driving along in his pants mobile, when a rainbow streaks past him.
"Oh, good god." he says.
Dolph peeks out of the rainbow thing. "'Ello, chum. Maybe if I win this thing, Chris will let me back in the game."
"I doubt it." says Donny.
Dolph's Nyan Cat speeds up, and he disappears.
Antoine and Kavren are racing. Kavren runs over the smoothie guy, who is precariously in the middle of the track.
"WHAT THE @#$%?!" screams the smoothie guy, who is as flat as a pancake.
"Problem?" says Kavren's car.
"Shut up." says Antoine, punching the car. It explodes, and so does Antoine's thingading-- squirrel.
All the cars eventually explode, leaving Vincent and Tasia in the final two.
"Well, this is ironic." says Vincent.
"I knoooow, riiiight?" asks Tasia.
Tasia trips over an ant and falls on her face.
Vincent's pillow on wheels passes the finish line.
"VINCENT WINS!" yells Chris. "He gets invincibility in tonight's vote."
"I told you so!" says Vincent. He begins to do a little dance.
The boys are discussing who to vote off in the dorm.
"Cammy?" asks Antoine. "She annoys me."
"I don't know, man. She's hot." says Vincent.
"She has a boyfriend, idiot." says Antoine.
"Yeah, man." says Donny. "I'd say Tasia. She's super weird."
"I heard that, maaaan." says a voice from the girls dorm.
Elle comes into the room.
"I love you." she says to Kavren.
"Um, okay." says Kavren. "Bloop pork."
"What? You don't love me back?" says Elle.
"No, not really. You're just seducing." says Kavren. "Wait a minute. ELLE IS SEDUCING?"
Elle stares at Kavren.
"What's next? William Henry Harrison coming back from the dead and usurping the presidency from whoever is president right now?" says Kavren.
"We're in Canada." says Donny.
"Dolph returning to the game?!" screams Kavren.
"Um, actually..." says a voice.
"Getawaydolphyourenotreturningnomatterwhat." says Kavren.
"Aw, come on, man." says the voice.
A large explosion is then heard.
"What the heck?" asks Antoine.
Chris is at the elimination ceremony.
"Today, you get noodles in a cup, courtesy of one of our sponsors." says Chris. The smoothie guy winks. "The first noodles go to Vincent."
Vincent gets his noodles.
"Kavren, Antoine, and Donny are safe." says Chris.
"Awww, noodles-in-a-cup." says Kavren.
"Chelsey and Elle." says Chris.
The girls get their noodles.
"Cammy and Tasia. Tasia, you did horrible in the challenge, and Cammy, some of the girls don't seem to like you. The final noodles go to..."
"Cammy." says Chris.
"Whaaaat?" asks Tasia. "That's not cooool, maaaan."
"Tasia, time to board the Taxi of Losers." says Chris.
Tasia shakes her head, and walks away. "Not coooool."
"Bye, Tasia, I guess." says Chelsey evilly.
"Aww, I liked her. She was funny." says Kavren.
Tasia opens the door of the Taxi of Losers.
"Wait." says Antoine. Tasia and Chris stop. "I quit."
"WHAT?!" scream the boys.
"I just got a call from Lou. He won the lottery. And he's not joking, he sent me a picture. He decided he'd give half of the money to me. And since I'm not a greedy guy, I don't need to get the billion dollars from this competition. Bye, guys." says Antoine.
"Aww, buddy, don't go." says Vincent.
"I had a good time with you guys, see ya." says Antoine.
"Waaaait. Does that mean I get to staaaay?" asks Tasia.
"No, Chris! Make it a double elimination! Please! Please!" scream Elle and Chelsey.
"Tasia can stay." says Chris curtly.
Tasia cheers, and Elle and Chelsey groan.
"What will happen next episode? Find out... next episode." says Chris.
Elimination Chart
| # | Contestant | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | ||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cammy | WIN | IN | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | IN | WIN | IN | LOW | LOW | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Chelsey | WIN | IN | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | IN | WIN | IN | IN | IN | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Donny | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | LOW | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | WIN | IN | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Elle | WIN | IN | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | IN | WIN | IN | IN | IN | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Kavren | WIN | IN | LOW | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | LOW | WIN | IN | IN | IN | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Tasia | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | LOW | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | IN | IN1 | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Vincent | IN | WIN | WIN | LOW | WIN | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | IN | WIN | |||||||||||||||||||||
| 8th | Antoine | WIN | IN | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | LOW | IN | WIN | LOW | IN | QUIT | ||||||||||||||||||||
| 9th | Ori | LOW | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | IN | WIN | WIN | LOW | WIN | OUT | |||||||||||||||||||||
| 10th | Abbey | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | OUT | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| 11th | Mattie | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | IN | WIN | WIN | OUT | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 12th | Trick | WIN | IN | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | OUT | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 13th | Toad | WIN | IN | IN | WIN | WIN | LOW | OUT | |||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 15-14th | MacKenzie | WIN | IN | IN | WIN | WIN | OUT | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 15-14th | Gustavo | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | IN | OUT | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 16th | Kim | IN | WIN | WIN | IN | OUT | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 17th | Dolph | IN | WIN | WIN | OUT | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 18th | Northworth | IN | LOW | OUT | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 19th | PJ | WIN | OUT | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 20th | Lizza | OUT | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
1Tasia was originally supposed to be eliminated, but since Antoine quit, Tasia got to stay.
Trivia
- This story features the most contestants in one of my stories, with 20.
- This is, so far, the only story with no Total Drama School characters in it.
- I began to plan this story before Total Drama: Tiki Jungle started.
- There were a few characters scrapped for this story. Hannah, the Jealous One or the Depressed Girl, is Meg's sister. I felt like she was better off as just a mentioned character. Tammy, the Epic Girl, was too much of a Mary Sue, and her name was too similar to Cammy, so she was scrapped.
Chapter 1
- The title is based on the American Revolution.
- Toad's full name is obviously based on my username.
- Northworth is not a real name. It's a parody of the person who he's based on's last name, Southworth.
- PJ talks three times in this chapter.
- Nebraska Shore is a parody of Jersey Shore. Snooki is a real person.
- Supah Jario Brothers Wuu is a parody of Super Mario Bros. Wii.
- Cammy makes a reference to LOLcats.
- Vincent's full name was made up by the author.
- "Hob-knocker" is from iCarly.
- Antoine's line, "Now somebody, anybody, everybody scream!" is from SIMP.
- Dustin Nutria, first mentioned in Total Drama: Tiki Jungle is mentioned again by Abbey.
- Nic's buff ab belly, "Abby", is mentioned by Antoine.
Chapter 2
- PJ talks once in this chapter.
- The title is a parody of a line from the kiddie song "I've Been Working On The Railroad."
- Donny sings Willow Smith's "Whip my Hair."
- Vincent sings Katy Perry's "California Gurls."
- I actually know French, I didn't translate Antoine's line by Google Translator.
- Ori calling Abbey "Ugly Betty" is a reference to the TV show.
- The customers are Julia, Chrissy, Meg, Suzuki, and Caterina.
- Donny's songs are from Adventure Time.
- Chelsey saying "Guuuuuuuurl." is a reference to Shellsea in Fish Hooks.
- Elle sings Blainerific, and Chelsey sings Friday.
- Ori's last name, Gerard, is based on the user who created him's first name.
Chapter 3
- Vincent's love of string cheese is based on mine. :P
- "Galaxy Invaders" is a parody of Space Invaders.
- The challenge is basically a recycling of a challenge from Total Drama: Tiki Jungle.
- Cammy makes a reference to Tacgnol.
- Gary makes references to Over 9000, LOLcats, Nyan Cat, and "The Annoying Grape", a parody of "The Annoying Orange."
- PJ was eliminated because I couldn't think of anyone else.
| Main Series |
| Total Drama School ∙ Total Drama: Tiki Jungle ∙ Total Drama Revolution ∙ Total Drama Tokyo ∙ Total Drama: Superstar Showdown |
| Collabs |
| Total Drama Culture ∙ Total Drama: Paper Adventures ∙ Total Drama Arcade |
| Other |
| TBA |