There may be some content not for younger kids. However, there is nothing here they wouldn't say on the Total Drama series.
Chris, Chef, and the other twenty-four competitors have finished filming the finale of Total Drama World Tour. Only problem? They're stuck in Hawaii, with a busted up plane in Drumheller. The active volcano demolished their only form of transportation, the helicopter, and Chris' boat was totaled. So, now, what are they going to do? Chris McLean's twin sister (or so she claims to be), Caitlin McLean, has stepped up to the plate. She's gathered sixteen Total Drama fans around North America in hopes of making her own reality show, to gain enough money to get her brother and the poor teenagers out of Hawaii. After finding an old RV in the local dump, she's taking a road trip from Newfoundland, all the way to San Diego, California, where she will fly to Honolulu to save the cast! But, where is she going to get the money to do all of this? The revenue received from the viewers and ratings of each episode of Total Drama Stardom will play a crucial role: plane tickets to Hawaii, gas money, and keeping all of the filming equipment! Each day, the sixteen fans will participate in one challenge, and each night, the competitor that does not receive a melted candy bar at the Rest Stop Ceremony will be forced to take the Motel Room Rental of Shame, and the rest of the contestants will continue on. Will she succeed? Find out, only on the fourth season of Total Drama; Total Drama Stardom!
|Amanda||The Nuisance||Amanda isn't the most fun to be around, and many people try their hardest to avoid her. Her high-pitched voice comes close to the sounds of nails on a chalkboard, and her terrible comebacks are no help to her already terrible social skills. Her nerdy appearance makes her overall presence a bit of a bother to many people, but she doesn't care much.|
|Angie||The Clueless Goof||Angie is an all-around great friend. She may be a bit clueless, but she's got many quirks that make people love her attitude. Even though she doesn't think highly of mineral water; believing it to be for rich folks, organic food; believing it to be for weight-conscious dopes, and band-aids; believing them to be useless objects that are used to make people look cool, she accepts everything in life the way it is. She's quite spiritual and very down-to-earth, but potato chips and fatty-foods are never turned down by her.|
|Brandon||The Big Bro||Brandon can get along with anyone he chooses to. Most of the time, that means everyone. He's smart, very independent, yet very friendly, and he's eager to listen to the problems of others, all skills inherited from his great family. His mother is a therapist, while his father is a college professor. In addition, he's an all-around great guy who's eager to win the competition.|
|Brendon||The Easily Excitable Jock||Brendon loves sports. Brendon loves competition. Brendon loves puppies. Brendon loves umbrella hats. Brendon pretty much loves anything. When he sees something he likes, he becomes very enthused over the sighting, stopping what he was doing to look at it and vocalize how he likes it. He once stopped spotting a friend who was lifting a heavy barbell, because he noticed shoes that he liked, and the guy he was spotting dropped his weight while Brendon excitedly told the guy wearing the shoes how much he loved his shoes. Brendon also avoided a game winning touchdown because he noticed a butterfly. Needless to say, his coach is tired of his lack of focus, and he has been suspended from the team for the time being. Brendon is a great athlete, he just has trouble staying focused on one thing at a time.|
|Brian||The Oblivious Jokester||Brian's an extremely scrawny child (he's been mistaken for a 9-year-old seventy-two times and counting), but is under the impression that he's the bodybuilder of the century, resulting in him getting teased a lot. He doesn't mind the teasing, mostly because he likes having to "roll with the punches". Even though is obvious warped paradigm of himself annoys people, he makes up for it by cracking jokes and being a fun spirit.|
|Claire||The Curious Soul||Claire is always up for something new, no matter how dangerous or embarrassing it might be. Clearly, it's landed her in some tough situations, but nothing seems to be able to tame her wild curiosity. From the day she was born, doctors knew she was going to be an interesting child, as it took four C-sections to get her out, despite the fact that she is extremely skinny.|
|Emilie||The Blood Flower||Emilie has always loved the performing arts, and is mostly known for the extra flair she adds into it, which she calls her "kiss from the Blood Flower". Of course, her eccentricity is often thought of as strange to others, and is considered as a freak to many people. But Emilie doesn't care much, however, at times she thinks she could use a little more support.|
|Ivy||The Bossy Girl||Ivy was born into a family of wealthy CEOs. She took on the personality of someone who takes charge of a situation. She has been student council president, seven years running. She has gotten the unique ability to win over any crowd and get them to trust her with making big decisions, and she often makes the right decision. However, should anyone defy her judgement, she'll get rather angry, and an instant enemy will be made. That also goes for anyone who tries to take the leadership role from her. Ivy is also a bit of a perfectionist. In addition to being student council president, she has also been on the cheerleading squad several years in a row. Only the prettiest girls in the school make it on the squad, making her smart and pretty, but due to her commanding personality, no boys want to date her. She joined to win the money to start her own business, and perhaps get a boyfriend along the way.|
|Jessica||The Wealthy Princess||Jessica is the daughter of a long-line of wealthy males. Her father and all of his father's fathers were wealthy lawyers. She hates studious things due to them being boring to her. She doesn't get along with some people due to her attitude, and she also dislikes long conversations. Jessica likes cute things, like bunny rabbits and puppies, but truly dislikes anything relating to doing work. She can overcome this by realizing she'll get something at the end.|
|Luke||The Strategic Jerk||Luke has been spoiled rotten since the day he was born, so he usually gets what he wants, no matter how extraordinary it may be. He's picked up on ways to get anyone to do his bidding, and will stop at nothing to reach his goals. Day in and day out, he just thinks of how he can find ways to get more friends, since he left all of his in the dust. His parents try not to address his manipulating behavior.|
|Mitchell||The Midget||Mitchell has always been undermined due to his short stature. He hates it when people pick on him for being so short, or even worse, be called "adorable" or "cute". As a result, he has a terrible case of Napoleon complex, and is easily offended. He was going to take self-defense classes, but wasn't allowed to since he was mistaken for a seven-year-old. He grows terribly jealous of tall people, and his mother is extremely concerned about his condition.|
|Mordecai||The Magician||Mordecai, often called "Cai" by his peers, is an aspiring magician. Ever since a young age, Mordecai had always been fascinated with sorcery and other magical things. Even every Halloween, he'd go as a wizard. Ever since a young age, Mordecai practiced magic with hopes of perfecting it and showing the world. Though due to him doing this too often, he never had many friends and would annoy others with his constant rambling of the magical arts. He often wears a peculiar get-up and is never far away from his wand he uses to cast his "magic".|
|Niko||The Player||Niko has always been a player. He has lived in poverty his whole life, but his cool moves land him relationships left and right. He's hated by most women he's had a relationship with, but that doesn't seem to bother him. He wants to join Total Drama Stardom for fame. And to also cause one heck of a scandal!|
|Sydney||The Instigator||"Did you hear about..." is Sydney's most said phrase, probably throughout her life. But, Sydney's unlike most gossipers, she just totally makes up her stories, which leads to arguments and catfights, much to her sadistic entertainment. She's also a bit of a name dropper, and claims that she knows celebrities and other well-known people. No one believes her, or even bothers to listen to her, but she doesn't care.|
|Timothy||The Health Nut||Timothy was raised being taught that you can never be too clean, or healthy. He has a bottle of hand sanitizer attached to his belt, along with disinfectant, tissues, and band-aids. He tends to be anti-social due to the many germs and diseases he may come in contact with. He has an extremely overprotective mother, who was going to make him a "bubble boy", but Timothy's father convinced her otherwise.|
|Valerie||The Fashionista||Valerie's always wearing something in-style, whether it's a necklace or a hoopskirt. She wouldn't be caught dead wearing the same outfit twice, and is somewhat big-headed about her nearly flawless appearance. But even though she's a bit vain, Valerie loves helping other people out, mostly with wardrobe choices. She aspires to be a model, and mentions it nonstop, much to almost everyone's annoyance.|
Gallery and Extras
Total Drama Stardom Staff
Total Drama Stardom Contestants
Opening music with guitar solo.
(Camera focuses on a rat crawling into the RV's engine, and a bolt flying out of one of the RV's tires)
'"Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine."
(Camera zooms through the RV door, where Caitlin is angrily honking)
"You guys are on my mind!"
(Timothy cringes at Angie, who is blowing bubbles with her gum)
"You asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer is plain to see."
(Camera zooms into the kitchen, where Luke and Mordecai are throwing food at each other, and Sydney is keeping score of how many times each got hit)
"I wanna be famous!"
(Claire is sticking her head out of the kitchen window, her tongue out, similar to a dog, and she is singing along to the theme song)
"I wanna live close to the sun."
(Brian is looking at the sun through a window)
"So, pack your bags, 'cause I've already won."
(Brian covers his eyes and runs into Ivy, who was ranting in the confessional)
"Everything to prove, nothing in my way."
(Valerie is picking out clothes for Niko from his suitcase, while Niko is terrified at what she's choosing)
"I'll get there one day."
(Camera zooms out of the room Valerie and Niko were in, then go into the bathroom)
"'Cause I wanna be famous!"
(Brendon walks out of the bathroom with toilet paper covering his body, pretending to be a mummy)
"Naaaa-na-na-na-naaaa, na-na-na-na-naaaa, na-na-na-na-na-naaaa!"
(Brendon's outfit scares Jessica, she shrieks and runs into a wall, causing Amanda to laugh at her)
"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"
(Camera zooms out of the RV, where Mitchell is on Brandon's shoulders, trying to jump on top of the RV)
"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"
(Emilie is on top of the RV, performing in front of the other contestants, who are watching her from a Rest Stop Ceremony)
(Camera zooms out, where the sign on the gas station reads "Total Drama Stardom")
Chapter 1: New Season, Newf Kids
A blonde, twenty-eight-year-old woman, in the driver's seat of an RV, was happily humming the Total Drama theme song. She noticed the camera, and startled, slammed on the brakes. "Whoa! You scared me. Well, hello, world! I'm Caitlin McLean, your new host! I'll be explaining challenges, leading eliminations, all of that junk. Since Christopher's stuck in Hawaii, it's up to me to get plane tickets for him, Chef and the other twenty-four contestants, from Hawaii to Toronto. But, what's a girl supposed to do? How am I gonna get enough money to do that? I've devised a plan to create the fourth season of Total Drama, here on this very RV! We've gathered sixteen Total Drama fans all around Canada and the USA to compete in challenges based off of the place we run out of gas in! One by one, or whatever I feel like doing that elimination ceremony, they'll all be voted off or eliminated, until only two remain. If we have enough money — and if we don't, we're screwed — the two of them and I will fly to Hawaii, rescue the contestants and the crew, and there, one will be crowned the winner, in some sort of way I haven't determined yet. So, lean back in your recliners, set any other show you want to watch on PVR, and be sure to watch the first episode of Season Four: Total. Drama Stardom! Roll the theme song! What? We don't have one? Uhhh... well, this is awkward."
Caitlin drove along the streets of Toronto, counting building numbers before coming to a stop.
She mumbled, "Now I know what a soccer mom feels like."
An annoying young girl stormed out of her large home.
"You never let me do anything!" she shouted behind her, as her mother frantically hurried with seven pink suitcases.
The mother set down one suitcase in front of the RV and sighed, "Jessica's been all worked up about this trip, she originally packed thirteen cases. I hid six of them and told her that they disappeared."
Jessica continued stomping, passed by Caitlin without uttering a word, and took a seat in the RV.
"Uh-huh. Well, I'm sure she'll get over it soon enough," Caitlin assured.
Jessica's mother laughed. "Ha! That's the best joke I've heard in a while. Well, take care of my baby! I'm off to get a foot rub."
Caitlin noticed that the luggage was still on the sidewalk, and shrugged. "I'm not picking that up..."
Jessica frustratedly glared out the window as she and Caitlin picked up the next competitor.
The RV screeched to a halt, and as Caitlin opened the door, she was run over by a boy.
He gasped, "This is so cool! I love it all! Who are you?"
He jerked a finger towards Jessica, who ignored him.
Caitlin stood up, and unsteadily walked back to the driver's seat. "Nice to meet you too, Brendon."
"Oh, sorry, Caitlin! That's your name, right? Sorry, sometimes I just get so involved with everything else that I can't remember! I love your name, by the way. It has seven letters, just like mine! I know lots of people with seven-letter names. Want me to list them? Abigail, Allison, Andreas, Beverly, Bradley, Britany, Cameron, Camille..."
Jessica took hold of his shoulders and shook him. "How about you calm down!?"
Brendon opened his mouth to say something, but Caitlin slammed on the gas.
In the middle of the highway, Brendon began to hum "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall", but Jessica kicked him in the groin before he could get to 97.
Caitlin stopped the RV again and asked, "Who the heck lives here?"
The house was completely covered in bubble wrap, and a sign on the front door read, "No Entry Without Decontamination Suit".
Just then, a nervous male was shoved out of the door, followed by a voice that barked, "Hurry, you're letting all the ozone in!"
The door slammed shut, and the boy shuffled over to the RV.
He flinched as Caitlin opened the door and said, "You're Timothy, right?"
He nodded and entered the RV, but stumbled backwards after Brendon ran over to him and hugged him.
Brendon cheered, "Woo! New person!"
Timothy shrieked, and removed a small bottle from his belt. He then sprayed himself with the contents while chanting, "Disinfect! Disinfect!"
Caitlin, Jessica, and Brendon all awkwardly stared at him.
"... I guess we'll keep on trucking," Caitlin said for the sake of the silence.
The next destination was an average house, with a teenager eating chips on the lawn.
Caitlin smiled, "Angie! Welcome!"
Angie, startled, picked up her luggage and walked over to the RV.
She noticed that the chips had dirtied her hands, and offered Caitlin a hug.
Caitlin complied, and Angie took the opportunity to clean her hands on Caitlin's backside.
From the window of the RV, Timothy gasped, "Health violation!"
He jumped out of the RV and repeatedly sprayed Caitlin's back with the contents in his bottle.
Angie shrugged and entered the RV, where Brendon was now taped to a seat.
Jessica innocently kicked a roll of duct tape underneath her chair and lied, "I don't know how that happened."
Brendon made muffled noises, leaving Angie speechless.
"Get away from me!" Caitlin shouted, chasing Timothy into the RV. "Alright, let's keep going. We've still got twelve more teens to pick up!"
Caitlin stopped in front of another house, but the contestant was nowhere to be seen.
She wondered, "Is this the right place?"
Angie suggested, "You should get a GPA."
"I think you mean GPS," Jessica corrected.
"GPA, GPS, PSP, they're all the same thing!" Angie complained.
A knock on the door of the RV was heard, and as Caitlin opened the door, a small boy waved to the group.
Jessica, Angie, and Caitlin all moaned, "Awwwwwww!"
Caitlin kneeled down, and in a motherly tone, asked, "Hi! Can you get your big brother, Mitchell, for me?"
The boy frowned. "I am Mitchell."
"I don't believe I know a teenager under four feet," Caitlin joked.
Mitchell sighed and took out a copy of his application form from his suitcase. "I'm a 'midget-dwarf-thing', as most people would say."
Caitlin chuckled, "Mitchell the Midget? Ooooh, that's catchy."
Mitchell's face turned red, and he threatened, "If you were a dude, I would pound you to the ground!"
"Totally..." Caitlin dismissed.
While driving to the next contestant's house, a loud thump was heard on the roof of the RV.
"What was that?" Angie wondered.
Someone then knocked on the door of the RV, each knock getting louder. Caitlin opened the door, and a tall girl wearing a helmet sprang into the RV.
Caitlin asked, "Er, who are you?"
The girl spun around, removed her helmet, and threw it out the window. "I'm Claire! Sorry about that, I was skydiving, and I missed my target. Hey, you're Caitlin! And I signed up for this show! What a coincidence!"
Caitlin nodded, "Good, one less house to go to. Ten to go!"
Shortly after, they continued driving.
Claire had her head stuck outside of the window, shouting, "Woo! I feel so... so..."
"About-to-die?" Jessica suggested.
"No, silly," Claire chuckled, "That's what the kid laying on the street feels like!"
Caitlin slammed on the brakes, and a large screech echoed through the neighborhood.
Inches away from the van, a teenage boy was flat on the ground, face up, limbs extended, and completely awake.
The boy noticed the RV stop and groaned.
Caitlin flipped through her papers and concluded, "Oh, you're Luke."
Luke frowned. "I don't wanna go on this show!!"
"Ugh. Get in the RV, dangit," Jessica ordered.
Caitlin and Claire pulled Luke into the RV, kicking and screaming, while Jessica pulled out the roll of duct tape again.
The eighth contestant pounded on the door of the RV.
Caitlin opened the door, but no one was seen.
Caitlin yelped and slammed the door of the RV shut, panting.
"Oh, please, that wasn't scary," Claire frowned.
Caitlin scrambled back to the driver's seat. "Are you kidding me?"
Angie looked out the window, then observed, "Hey, look, some short kid's pounding on the door."
Caitlin opened the RV door again, this time armed with a can of mace.
The eighth contestant laughed, "Oh, don't worry, I don't bite. Except for winning I'm chewing! Ha!"
The other seven contestants are stared at her blankly. Caitlin whispered, "Who are you?"
"The name's Amanda. I'm a born commander! Get it? Because Amanda and commander rhy—"
"We get it!" they all shouted.
Caitlin welcomed, "Hello! You're Brandon, correct?"
"I'm right here, silly," Brendon chuckled, now untied.
Brandon set his luggage down in the RV. "Oh. Is your name Brandon too?"
"No, I'm Brendon," Brendon replied.
Brandon smiled, "Alright, then, Brendon. I'm Brandon. Nice to meet you guys."
After a short silence, Angie whispered to Amanda, "So, which one is Brandon?"
"No clue!" Amanda whispered back.
"It's about time!" the girl snapped, her butlers loading her luggage on the RV.
Caitlin snapped out of her state of shock. "Well, hello, Ivy!"
Ivy ignored Caitlin and took a seat beside Timothy, who inched away nervously.
"What's your damage?" Ivy inquired.
"N-N-N-Nothing," Timothy stuttered.
Angie whispered to Ivy, "He thinks you're dirty."
Ivy's eyes widened, and she turned to Timothy. "Excuse me!?"
"Moving on!" Caitlin told them, and she slammed on the gas.
The eleventh contestant boarded the RV hastily.
"Finally! Geez, what took so long?"
Caitlin narrowed her eyes at the girl. "Well, Sydney, there's this thing called 'traffic'."
Sydney rolled her eyes and sat beside Claire. "What's up?"
Claire blinked, giving no response.
Sydney nodded, "Cool, cool."
The next contestant jumped into the RV.
He roared, "Raaah! I. Am. Brian!!"
The bus was silent except for Jessica's hysterical laughter.
Brian walked over to her. "What's so funny? I wanna laugh!"
Jessica folded her arms. "Oh, nothing. Besides the fact that you're skinnier than Claire's eyebrows."
Claire mumbled, "... Cheap shot."
"What? Skinny? Me? Ha!" Brian chortled.
He continued laughing, then coughed. "Ow. I have a low lung capacity due to my size..."
"Point proven," Jessica smiled.
The thirteenth contestant walked in with six-inch high heels.
She walked to the back of the RV, with her heels being the only audible noise.
Caitlin held back her laughter. "Well, Valerie, those are some interesting shoes you have there."
Valerie beamed, "I know, right? they were like, two hundred bucks, too."
"Two hundred for a pair of sneakers on chopsticks!?" Luke gasped.
Valerie glared at him. "Excuse me!? What did you say!?"
"Is that the fifth time someone's said that today?" Brendon wondered.
Caitlin counted in her head. "I think so."
The next contestant was a male, wearing an outfit similar to a magician's.
Valerie's eyes widened. "Oh my goodness. That's a fashion emergency and it needs an evacuation."
Caitlin filled through her papers again and held her hand out. "Welcome, Mordecai."
"Call me Cai," he mumbled, then walked to the back of the RV.
In the back, he sat with Sydney, who asked, "So, can you like, do magic tricks?"
Mordecai shrugged, "Well, I try to."
"What do you mean you try to?" Sydney suspiciously asked.
Mordecai shook his head. "Nevermind."
The second-to-last contestant boarded the RV.
He winked at Caitlin. "Hey. What's up? I'm Niko."
Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Of course you are."
"What's that supposed to mean!?" Niko demanded.
At the same time, Caitlin and Brendon called out, "Six!"
Niko was obviously confused. "Huh? What? What do these numbers mean!? Ugh, nevermind, I'll just go to the back..."
"Oh, hey, there," Niko said to Valerie.
Valerie lifted her foot in his face. "Talk to the heel."
Niko touched the heel. "Is that a chopstick?"
The final contestant walked into the RV, and noticed the others.
"Oh, I'm last? Wonderful," she frowned.
"Alright, Emilie, just take a seat so I can explain what's going on here," Caitlin instructed.
Caitlin parked the RV, then stood up front and center. "Welcome, the sixteen of you. You guys are all contestants on the fourth season of Total Drama; Total Drama Stardom! Here, you'll compete in challenges as teams until only two of you remain. The two of you will fly with me to Hawaii, where the final challenge will take place, and where one will be crowned the winner! How will we only get down to one person? By eliminations, which take place at rest stops. I like to call them, 'Rest Stop Ceremonies'!"
"How creative," Ivy commented.
Caitlin continued, "There, the contestant who does not receive a candy bar will be forced to take the Motel Room Rental of Shame, and will never, ever be able to come back to the show."
Niko asked, "So, what're the challenges gonna be based off?"
Caitlin scratched her head. "Uhhhh, I didn't really think about that. I guess it'll take place wherever we end up. Oh, and by the way, you guys know about the confessional from the other seasons, right? Well, it's back again! It's in the passenger's seat of the RV."
Brendon: (confessional, plays with the fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view mirror)
"Oh, and we're having a challenge today, based on wherever we are right now..." Caitlin unsurely informed.
"And where the heck is that?" Niko asked, staring oddly at the grey clouds.
Caitlin beamed, "We're in St. Johns, Newfoundland!"
Jessica frowned and shook her head. "Newfoundland? That's so last season."
"So is that top," Valerie pointed. "I'll have to help you on your wardrobe."
Jessica gasped and claimed, "She is not on my team!"
"Well, the teams'll be decided based on the results of this challenge," Caitlin explained.
"And what exactly is the challenge?" Ivy impatiently asked.
Caitlin pointed to a series of small boats on the shore, and then to a group of buoys out in the ocean. "Your first challenge in our four-part marathon is to collect a flag from one of the twelve buoys out there by rowing to it, after pushing your boat off the shore. Each buoy only has one flag, so four of you will be flagless. You four will be eliminated from the challenge, and will lose the chance to become a team captain!"
Jessica: (confessional) I have got to become a captain. I do not wanna wind up on some lame-o team with what's-his-face, Teddy?
"On your marks!" Caitlin began.
The contestants rushed over to the shore, and each entered their own boat.
Amanda hopped into the boat beside Luke, who groaned.
Brandon and Claire both ran towards the same boat.
"Oh, did you want this one?" Claire asked.
Brandon backed away. "Oh! No, it's fine, really, you take it. There's enough for everyone, isn't there?"
"Yep, there is. And, uh, thanks!" Claire smiled, then hopped in and pushed ferociously.
Brian cheered, "Yeah! Let's do this!"
He attempted to jump into a boat, but ended up landing head-first on Jessica.
"Ew! Get off of me! I have to challenge to win," she scoffed.
Mordecai pointed his wand at a boat and chanted, "Ocean filled with fish galore, get this boat off of the shore!"
Nothing happened, and Mordecai tapped his wand in frustration.
The boats finally made it off the shore, and Caitlin reminded, "Remember! There are only twelve flags! So, if you wanna be a captain you'd better grab one and go!"
Amanda began humming, "Row, Row, Row Your Boats", and Luke hit her boat with his paddle.
"Hey! What gives?" Amanda whined.
Luke faked a gasp. "Oh! I'm sorry! I was just paddling."
From behind the two, Emilie raised an eyebrow.
Emilie: (confessional) That Luke person doesn't seem to realize that he's always on camera...
The first few people to reach the buoys were Brendon, Niko, and Claire.
They each grabbed a flag and began rowing back, as Sydney approached the buoys.
As she was halfway-through the return trip, she passed by Luke, who was tied for last with Amanda.
Luke whispered, "Hey, I noticed that you're a bit of a power-player in this game. Wanna make a deal?"
Sydney frowned, "What kind of deal?"
"You give me your flag, and I pick you on my team if I win."
"And if you don't win?" Sydney pointed out.
Luke paused, then sighed, "I'll.... help you win the next challenge, considering we're both on different teams and neither of us get eliminated."
Sydney agreed, "Deal!"
Luke: (confessional) Easy pickings.
Luke, Claire, Brendon, Niko, Angie, Valerie, Brandon, and Mitchell had all grabbed flags and returned with them.
Emilie rowed past Sydney, who was sleeping in her boat.
"What the heck?" Emilie wondered aloud.
Jessica, frustrated, paddled by Emilie and stuck her tongue out.
"Oh, sassy, are we?" Emilie grumbled.
Ivy, Timothy, and Jessica each grabbed a flag, and only one remained.
Amanda and Brian glanced at each other from their boats, then paddled wildly.
Jessica whispered to Ivy, "Hey, look, battle of the nerds."
Ivy snickered, but quickly stopped.
Ivy: (confessional) I'm more sophisticated than all of these other... vermin. I won't stoop down to their level. At least, not just yet.
Brian grabbed the flag as Amanda made a wild dive for it, and cheered, "Yes! I have the power!"
Climbing back on her boat, Amanda stuck her tongue out at Brian.
"Alright! Let's see who's advancing to Round 2," Caitlin began.
"Angie! Brandon! Brendon! Brian! Claire! Ivy! Jessica! Luke! Mitchell! Niko! Timothy, and Valerie! You twelve will advance on. As for Amanda, Emilie, Mordecai, and Sydney, you'll have to wait back in the RV."
Mordecai, Amanda, and Emilie grumbled as they moped back to the RV, while Sydney stayed asleep in her boat..
Caitlin turned back to the other twelve contestants. "As for you guys! Your second challenge is right here on the shore. As you can see, there are tons of oysters scattered along here. Some of these little guys contain pearls in them! But there are only eight pearls. So, four of you will be joining the other guys in the RV!"
"Sounds... fun...," Jessica frowned.
Luke slid over beside Brendon, and nudged his shoulder. "Hey, uhhh... Brandon?"
On Luke's other side, Brandon asked, "Hmmmm...?"
Brendon clarified, "Oh, he was talking to me, he just got my name wrong."
"But, he's standing next to me," Brandon pointed out. "Maybe he meant me?"
"But he touched my shoulder," Brendon added, now slightly annoyed.
"Ugh, forget it!" Luke scowled.
Caitlin shouted, "Ready? Go!"
Angie picked up an oyster and opened it.
She stomped her foot. "No pearl. Dam—"
The RV horn honked, startling her.
"Gah! What the heck?"
Caitlin jumped out of the RV. "Censoring words actually costs money on TV, so, we can't afford that."
"Uh-huh. Oh, by the way, how many oysters are on the shore?" Angie asked out of curiosity.
Caitlin shrugged. "Twenty, thirty, forty thousand? Who knows?"
Angie's jaw dropped. "And only eight have pearls!?"
She began shaking the oysters violently, listening for any sounds of a pearl.
Over to Angie's left, Timothy and Mitchell were desperately opening and closing oysters, and tossing them to the side.
With every oyster he opened, Timothy muttered, "Ew, ew, ew, ew..."
Mitchell cried out, "Woo! Got one!"
He ran over to Caitlin, and bumped into Luke.
Mitchell's pearl fell into the sand, and Luke picked it up.
Mitchell roared, "Hey! That was mine!"
"Huh? What do you mean? I had one too, I was just walking over to Caitlin. Yours must've rolled away somewhere," Luke lied.
"Oh. Sorry about that," Mitchell apologized.
Luke waved, "Not a problem!"
He turned around and snickered, "Sucker."
Many hours later, the only contestants to have found a pearl were Luke, Niko, and Claire.
Caitlin sighed, "Hurry up people, I'm not getting any younger!"
Angie shook another oyster and gasped.
She opened it up and found a pearl, then shouted, "Got one!"
Across the shore, Valerie called out, "Same here!"
Brendon and Brandon put their hand on the same oyster.
Brendon pulled on it. "Uh, this one's mine."
Brandon also pulled on it. "I totally grabbed it first!"
"Brandon, just let me have it, there's like, a 0.0001% chance of the pearl being in it anyways," Brendon argued.
"There's still a chance!" Brandon snapped back.
They both pulled on it fiercely, until it flew out of their hands and into Jessica's.
Jessica opened the oyster and found a pearl. "Oh, awesome!"
Brandon and Brendon gasped, then glared at each other.
Brandon scowled, "That was so your fault!"
"Was not!" Brendon defended.
They continued checking oysters, then both shouted, "Found one! No way. Ugh!"
Caitlin hit the RV horn again and called, "Round 2 is over!!"
The contestants gathered around, and Caitlin concluded, "And the people advancing on to Round 3 are Angie, Brandon, Brendon, Claire, Jessica, Luke, Niko, and Valerie!"
Mitchell glared at Luke, who innocently shrugged back at him.
"As for Brian, Ivy, Mitchell, and Timothy, you guys are out!"
Ivy frowned. "Ugh! I'm so tired of this."
Niko: (confessional) Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaz.
Caitlin walked into a lodge beside the shore. "C'mon in, this is where we're doing the third challenge."
Inside the lodge was a log table with eight chairs around it, four on each side.
On the table were twenty-four large bottles, each labeled on the side as "XXX".
Caitlin gestured, "Take a seat. Your third challenge is to down three of these bottles. The first four contestants to drink three bottles wins the challenge, and will move on to the final round!"
"So, uh, what's in the bottles?" Niko asked.
"That's a surprise," Caitlin chuckled. "Go!"
Each contestants grabbed a bottle and began drinking, and each immediately coughed wildly.
"VINEGAR!?" they all complained.
Caitlin was laughing hysterically, leaning against the window.
Angie moaned, "Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick."
Brandon and Brendon both leaned against each other, noticed, then continued drinking.
Claire coughed out a small metallic disc, and laughed, "Oh, that was from Truth or Dare last week!"
Jessica's eyes widened, and she threw up on the floor.
Luke was nearly done with his first bottle, but stopped and coughed on Niko.
Niko complained, "Augh, gross!"
Valerie shrugged and drank the vinegar normally. "Don't see the big deal."
"And we have our first member or the final round, Valerie!" Caitlin announced.
Valerie: (confessional) Tasted fine. Don't get why everyone's going crazy...
Brandon finished his final bottle, and yelled, "Done! Ow, my throat hurts."
"And Brendon will be competing with Valerie in Round 4!" Caitlin smiled.
Brandon corrected, "No, I'm Brandon."
"But I can go to Round 4 if you want," Brendon joked.
Claire finished her third bottle, with a pile of metallic objects beside her. "Done!"
Angie pointed to the pile. "Is that a credit card?"
"Oh! That's my mom's!" Claire gasped.
Luke also finished his last bottle. "Done!"
"And the contestants moving on to the final round are Brandon, Claire, Luke, and Valerie!"
Caitlin pointed to the losing group. "Angie, Brendon, Jessica, Niko, you four can go back to the RV, and, uh, drink some water."
The four of them walked out of the lodge, coughing madly.
Caitlin addressed the remaining teens. "Now! You four!"
She led them out the other door of the lodge, to a dock.
"You guys are going to go fishing!" she began.
"Lame," Valerie frowned.
Caitlin ignored her and continued, "There's tons of fish out in the ocean, but you're searching for three colored fish. A gold fish, a green fish, and a silver fish. The three contestants who catch one of those fish will become team captains! Any questions? No? Go!"
Brandon, Claire, Luke, and Valerie dashed over to the edge of the dock and grabbed a fishing rod.
They each cast their lines out in the ocean, waiting for a pull.
After a long silence, Claire sighed, "Sooooooooo..."
Brandon, Claire, Luke, and Valerie: (confessional, split-screened) Fishing sucks.
Finally, Brandon yelped, "Whoa! I feel something!"
He reeled in his line quickly, and cheered, "Woohoo! Silver fish!"
Caitlin complimented, "Well done! Come back over here."
After another long and awkward silence, Luke felt a pull on his fishing rod. "Oh, yeah!"
He reeled in, and pulled out a green fish. "Nice."
Luke walked over to Brandon and Caitlin, and waited for the final team captain to be decided.
Claire asked, "So, how's it hangin', Val?"
"Don't call me Val," Valerie snapped.
Claire inched away. "Touchy."
Valerie's fishing rod twitched, and she squealed, "Yay! I got it!"
She reeled in a gold fish, and ran back over to the lodge.
Claire sighed. "Back to the RV, I know, I know."
Caitlin corrected, "No, actually, you stay here, the losers are gonna have to come over here!"
The contestants were all lined up on the dock, except for the team captains, who were next to Caitlin.
"Congratulations to Brandon, Luke, and Valerie, our winners!"
The other thirteen contestants clapped unenthusiastically.
Caitlin continued, "Now, they'll be choosing the teams for this season."
Emilie noticed, "Wait a minute, there's sixteen of us. Three doesn't go into sixteen evenly."
"That's right, Emilie," Caitlin grinned.
"What's so funny?" Amanda frowned.
Caitlin pointed to a small boat which docked itself. "Anyone know what this is?"
Brendon gasped, "Oh my gosh! The Boat of Losers from Season 1!"
Caitlin turned to the team captains. "And the person who isn't picked on a team is gonna be riding it! Today!"
The contestants all gasped, and Caitlin shook her head in disappointment. "Seriously? Not one of you saw that coming?"
"Alright, let's start choosing teams!" Caitlin ordered. "Brandon, since you caught the first fish, you choose first."
Brandon, without hesitation, pointed to Claire. "I choose Claire."
Claire smiled and walked over beside him.
Caitlin glanced at Luke. "Luke, you chose the second fish, now it's your turn."
"Sydney," Luke chose, keeping his word.
"Valerie, now you choose," Caitlin told her.
Valerie frowned, then shrugged, "Niko."
Brandon paused, then decided, "Angie."
Luke pulled Brendon over to his team. "Brandon. No, wait, Brendon? Who are you!?!?"
"I pick Ivy," Valerie stated.
Brandon sighed, "Alright, fine, Jessica."
Brandon: (confessional) She looked like she was about to shoot me if I didn't pick her.
"Uhhhhh, Emilie," Luke chose.
Valerie complained, "I was about to pick her! Ugh, fine, I pick Timothy."
Only four contestants remained, and Brandon selected, "Mitchell."
Luke looked at Amanda, then Brian, then Mordecai. "Uhhh, I pick Cai."
Amanda and Brian looked at each other nervously.
Caitlin increased the tension. "Valerie, the contestant you do not choose must walk down the dock and board the Boat of Losers. What is your decision?"
"I... pick..." Valerie hesitated.
She exhaled, then chose, "Amanda."
The rest of her team groaned.
"Awww, seriously?" Brian frowned. "Alright, well, see ya guys."
Brian walked over to the Boat of Losers and departed, leaving the three teams of five.
"... sooo anti-climactic," Jessica disproved.
"Anyways, congrats, teams!" Caitlin cheered. "Now, if you remember from last seasons, each team had names."
She walked past Brandon's team. "You guys are the Credit Cards!"
Then past Luke's team. "And you five are the Cash Collectors!"
And finally, to Valerie's team. "And the rest of you are the Studded Stars."
Caitlin pointed back to the RV. "Teams, head back into the RV and get some shut-eye! You'll really be needing it for tomorrow, trust me."
Luke: (confessional) My team could be better, I guess. But, hey. I've got it all covered. I'm winning this.
Angie: (confessional) ... I guess it could be worse.
Amanda: (confessional) I almost got eliminated! That was scary! Just like your face! Ahaha! (from outside, the other contestants shout, "That's not funny!!")
"And that ends the first episode of Total Drama Stardom. Tune in next week to see who wins, who loses, and all of the nail-biting tension I love making! See you next week!"
Chapter 2: I Spy With My Little Ally...
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, we kicked off the new season with sixteen new contestants, in hopes of being able to raise enough money to fly to Hawaii and save the cast! A few contestants made pretty quick connections, i.e., Luke and Sydney. Of all the people, huh? In the end, our challenge winners were Valerie, Luke, and Brandon, and they became our team captains! Unfortunately, there wasn't room for everyone, so we had to say farewell to Brian. With our three teams, we enter Day Two! Who will win? Who will lose? Who will fetch me a latte? Find out on this episode of Total. Drama. Stardom! Oh, awesome, we have a theme song now! Roll it!"
After the theme song, Angie was seen sitting next to Jessica.
Angie asked, "So, what's your take on the boys?"
"Huh?" Jessica asked, confused. "What do you mean?"
Valerie joined the conversation. "Oh, y'know. Who's cute... and who needs to get the boot."
Jessica pretended to throw up.
Jessica: (confessional) As if I'd even think about hooking up with someone on this show. Never!
Angie shrugged. "Well, it was worth a shot. How about you, Valerie?"
Valerie shook her head. "Not really anyone. Maybe Mitchell, but he's like, 'little brother' cute."
From the opposite side of the RV, Mitchell snapped, "I heard that!"
Luke slid over to Sydney and whispered, "So, we're still in an alliance, right?"
Sydney gasped, and loudly said, "We were in an alliance!?"
"Shush it!!" Luke snapped. "Yes, we were in an alliance. And now that we're on the same team, we can stay in that alliance. Right?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Sydney dismissed.
Luke nodded, then went over to Brendon, who was gazing outside the window.
"Hey, Brendon!" Luke greeted.
Brendon diverted his attention from the window. "Oh, hey. Did you ever notice how leafy the trees are outside? It's so awesomely green."
"..... Totally," Luke unsteadily replied. "Hey, do you mind, er, hanging out with Sydney and I?"
Then, in a hushed tone, he added, "She's lonely."
"Oh! Of course!" Brendon accepted, overjoyed.
"Awesome. Maybe we could, like, team up together at challenges and eliminations, too," Luke slipped in.
Brendon frowned. "Is this some sort of alliance?"
"Nooooooooo, noooooooooo," Luke blatantly lied. "Totally not."
"Alright, then, sure!" Brendon nodded.
Caitlin grabbed the microphone at the front of the RV and imitated a tour guide.
"Welcome to Quebec, Canada's largest province. Here, the native language is French, unlike many other Candian provinces. Here, we'll be visiting the capital, Quebec City, for our second challenge!"
"What are we gonna do here? All there is is maple syrup," Niko frowned.
Caitlin nodded, "And that's exactly what this challenge is about!"
Luke teased, "So, is the challenge an all-you-can-eat waffle buffet?"
"No. The challenge is to find the local maple syrup factory," Caitlin explained.
Valerie shrugged. "That shouldn't be too hard. I mean, who's gonna miss a giant maple syrup factory in the middle of Quebec?"
Caitlin added, "It's underground."
"Awwwwwwwwwww!" the three teams all complained.
"Now, in order to find the factory, you'll have to ask one of the locals. In French," Caitlin instructed. "Once you get to the maple syrup factory, you'll have to stick your team's logo onto the target area using nothing but maple syrup. First team to do so wins..."
Jessica finished, "...and the last team eliminates a member. We've seen the show before!"
Caitlin corrected, "Actually, this is a reward challenge."
Ivy: (confessional) Ew. Reward challenges only slow down my progress towards the grand prize. Ugh!
Caitlin opened the RV door. "So, first challenge, get directions from one of the locals! Let me tell you now; these guys drive a hard bargain. You might have to trade something in order to get the information needed to get to the maple syrup factory. Ready, get set, go!"
The Studded Stars all met up together, and Ivy asked, "Anyone here know French?"
Valerie enthusiastically mentioned, "Oooh! I know some French! La mode means 'fashion'!"
"Because that's totally going to help us," Ivy sighed. "How about you, neat-freak?"
Timothy shrugged, "W-Well, I did watch some educational foreign language videos while I was at home. Where it's safe. And ozone free."
Valerie mumbled, "Fuh-reak."
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Ivy demanded. "Let's go!"
The Studded Stars walked over to a local, and Ivy tapped his shoulder.
She nudged Timothy's shoulder and muttered, "Well, talk to him!"
Timothy was wide-eyed after he noticed that the local had a small cut on his hand, with no band-aid.
"I'm not talking to the infected!" Timothy wailed.
The local scratched his head, then walked away from the team, while Ivy groaned, "Wonderful."
The Credit Cards also met up, beside the RV.
"Alright, game plan, people. What are we doing?" Jessica began.
"Well, we need to find a local," Brandon reminded the group.
Claire pulled a random woman to her side. "Found one!"
The woman snapped, "Lâchez-moi!"
Subtitles appeared at the bottom of the screen reading, "Let go of me!" Mitchell walked over to the woman and asked, "Excusez-moi, savez-vous comment se rendre à la fabrique de sirop d'érable?"
The subtitles appeared again, saying, "Excuse me, do you know how to get to the maple syrup factory?"
The woman nodded, but then held her hand out. "Une centaine de dollars, s'il vous plaît."
Mitchell's eyes widened, and he turned to his team. "She wants a hundred bucks!"
"For directions!?" Angie asked in disbelief.
Angie: (confessional) What people do that kind of stuff!?
The Cash Collectors gathered on the opposite side of the RV.
"Do any of you speak French?" Luke quizzed.
The Collectors all mumbled, and Luke facepalmed himself. "Great."
They sighed, and a few minutes later, a woman walked over to them.
She asked, "Are you children lost?"
Luke gasped, "You speak English!?"
"Well, yeah. French is the main language, not the only language," she chuckled.
"Do you know how to get to the local maple syrup factory?" Sydney asked.
The woman pointed to the right. "Walk about half a mile that way, you should be there in no time!"
"Thanks!" the team chanted as they ran to the right.
The woman began walking again, and bumped into Caitlin.
"Oh, hello," Caitlin greeted.
"Hi there," the woman greeted back. "Quebec City's just wonderful, isn't it? The buildings, the people, the maple syrup factory over to the West..."
Caitlin interrupted her. "Did you say West?"
The woman nodded, and a flashback played of the woman pointing the Cash Collectors over to the East.
"Just checking," Caitlin said, smirking.
A montage of clips showed Timothy running away from locals, the Credit Cards searching for money in their pockets, and the Cash Collectors running in the wrong direction.
Jessica searched through her back pocket. "I know I have my emergency wad over here..... got it!"
She pulled out an enormous wad of money, and gave the local a $100 bill.
The woman smiled and pointed westward.
"Merci!" Mitchell called back to the woman, as the Credit Cards ran.
The Studded Stars were still having trouble with Timothy.
"I'm not talking to any of them!" Timothy defied.
"Oh, yes, you are!" Ivy roared.
Timothy turned to her and argued, "What does it matter? It's a reward challenge."
Niko shrugged. "Dude's got a point."
Ivy sighed, "A challenge is called a challenge for a reason. Besides, Timothy, what have you got to lose?"
"My title as a bacteria virgin," Timothy matter-of-factly said.
Valerie and Ivy glanced at each other, and both sighed.
The Cash Collectors were still running.
Sydney cheered, "Yes! We've got this challenge in the bag. The other teams are nowhere in sight!"
Luke frowned. "And neither is the factory. We should've reached it by now!"
Emilie agreed, "Luke's right, we definitely missed it somewhere along the way."
The Collectors turned around and ran back again, panting.
The Credit Cards opened the factory's doors and gasped.
The factory was enormous, with maple syrup all over the place.
Caitlin was then seen beside a cannon, which was pointed at the opposite side of the factory, where a large target board was placed.
"Hello, Cards!" she addressed. "Load a silver cannonball into the cannon and fire at the target area!"
"Where are the cannonballs? I don't see any," Brandon observed.
Caitlin pointed to three deflated beach balls beside a maple syrup "river". "Right over there. You'll have to fill your team's beach ball up with maple syrup in order to make it hit the target board!"
Angie: (confessional) I really want to know who comes up with these challenges.
The Studded Stars had now completely given up and were just wandering around aimlessly.
Amanda then perked up. "What's that over there?"
Ivy: (confessional) Is it a better team?
"Hey, it looks like the factory!" Valerie gasped.
They rushed over to it and entered, and Caitlin pointed to the beach balls.
"Fill up the yellow ball with honey, then fire it out of the cannon to the target board," Caitlin instructed.
"Sounds messy," Timothy frowned.
Ivy glared at him. "Do not make me get on your case again."
The Collectors were back at the RV.
"Ugh, what the heck!?" Luke frustratedly shouted.
"I don't get where we went wrong," Emilie said, confused.
Mordecai looked to the West and suggested, "Maybe we should try going that way."
Luke rolled his eyes. "That's the opposite way, you idiot. Are you trying to make us lose?"
Mordecai eyed Luke. "Well, going the 'right' way obviously isn't working!"
"If we lose, you're so going home!" Luke declared.
"It's a reward challenge!!" Mordecai argued.
Brendon, Emilie, and Sydney looked back and forth to each of them as if they were at a tennis match.
"Pour more syrup!" Jessica ordered.
The Credit Cards were spilling maple syrup everywhere.
Claire laughed, "Now I know what a pancake feels like."
To the Cards' right, Amanda shouted, "Hey, that was my joke!"
Claire: (confessional) Amanda and I both know she's not that clever.
The Credit Cards lifted their beach ball in the air. "Done!"
Maple syrup flew everywhere, and landed on Timothy's hair.
He panicked, "Get it off! Off! Off! Off!!!"
Valerie began to get up to help him, but Niko pulled her back down. "No, no, no, you stay here."
"This is no time for you to bust a move!" Ivy said as she elbowed him.
"Fine, fine! But we still need to fill this up!" Niko ordered.
Mordecai and Luke were still arguing, and it began to grow extremely off-topic.
"Celine Dion is not that good of a singer," Mordecai stated.
"You did not go there," Luke gasped. "Well.... magic isn't real!"
Mordecai's eyes widened. "Take that back!"
Luke smiled smugly. "Never!"
At this point, Brendon, Sydney, and Emilie were now falling asleep on each other.
The Cards loaded the cannonball in, and Claire hollered, "Fire in the hole!!"
Brandon fired, sending the ball flying towards the target, and they hit a bulls-eye.
"Wooo!" the Cards cheered, high-fiving each other.
The Stars followed, loading up their ball.
"Bombs away!!" Niko called out, as Amanda fired the ball out.
The beach ball soared across the factory, and hit the target.
"We did it!" Valerie yelled in delight.
The Stars gathered together, except for Timothy, who was still running in circles.
Caitlin blew a whistle. "And, we're done! Congratulations, Credit Cards! You win!"
"Well, what do we win?" Mitchell asked impatiently.
"Free pancakes and waffles for the remainder of the competition!" Caitlin announced.
The Credit Cards were silent except for Angie, who cheered exuberantly.
"Studded Stars, congrats on coming in second," Caitlin said.
Ivy: (confessional) Talk about bitter sweet.
Caitlin finished, "And Cash Collectors.... where the heck are they?"
The scene swithced over to Mordecai and Luke, who were still arguing.
"Australia is not a country!" Luke snapped.
"Yes, it is! It makes no sense that it'd be a continent!" Mordecai shot back.
Caitlin blankly stared at the camera. "Okay... will Mordecai and Luke ever stop arguing? What enemies will be made? What friendships will be broken?"
Ivy shouted off-screen, "That's basically the same thing!"
Caitlin ignored her. "Tune in next week to find out the answers and more, only on Total. Drama. Stardom!"
Chapter 3: Spin Cycle
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, the teams were taken to Quebec where they became full-fledged tourists! Mitchell helped lead the Stars to a huge victory, while the Collectors got misled by a clueless chick!"
"Says you?" Ivy called out off-screen.
Caitlin gasped, then quickly ended the recap. "Watch today's episode of Total Drama Stardom! Hmph, these teenagers think they've got jokes now..."
Caitlin's voice trailed off as she walked back to the driver's seat.
Luke, Sydney, and Brendon sat across the RV from Mordecai and Emilie.
Emilie: (confessional) Could the alliances be any more obvious?
"Alright, that's it, I can't stay here. Especially with our so-called 'team leader' who killed our chances of winning the last challenge," Mordecai said, moving to the back.
As he walked to the back of the RV, Luke muttered, "Hey, why don't you use your magic wand to wish us up a victory?"
From the rear of the RV, Mordecai shouted back, "Oh, how long has that been in your back pocket?"
"How do you even know I have back pockets!?" Luke shot back.
Sydney howled, "Ohhhhhhhhh, snap!"
Emilie stood up and clamped her hand over Luke's mouth. "Just end it, alright? You're both being immature."
"Fine!" Luke snapped.
"Fine!" Mordecai echoed.
Meanwhile, Jessica was busy examining her team.
Jessica: (confessional) If there's anything that gets you through Total Drama, it's an alliance. And right now, I'm lacking one.
"Hey, Angie, what's up?" Jessica smiled.
Angie shrugged. "Nothing much. Chilling."
Jessica nodded, "Oh, so, I was just thinking that maybe—"
Caitlin then slammed on the horn of the RV. "C'mon, grandma! If you don't know how to drive on the freeway, don't go on it!!"
"... so, what do you think?" Jessica finished.
Angie blinked. "I need to pee."
Jessica: (confessional) Hm, this isn't as easy as the other guys made it seem...
Finally, the RV screeched to a halt.
Claire, who wasn't wearing a seatbelt, flew into Brandon's lap.
"Oh! Sorry," she blushed.
"Not a problem!" Brandon assured.
Caitlin flipped her hair back and introduced, "Welcome to Toronto, Ontario! Here, your third challenge takes place at the country's landmark; Canada's National Tower, also known as CN Tower. Exit the RV to check out the challenge!"
The contestants all exited the RV, where the CN Tower stood proudly in front of them.
And dangling just a few feet from the ground were fifteen black wires with harnesses, which extended all the way up to the top of the tower.
Caitlin pointed to the wired harnesses. "Alright. Each of you, strap on to one of those."
"I don't think I can fit in that," Valerie dismissed. "I'm a size zero."
Mitchell, confused, asked, "Zero? What the heck is a size zero? Zero is nothing. Non-existant."
Valerie kneeled down to him. "You have to much to learn, my child."
"Don't call me that!" Mitchell growled.
Jessica, still looking for an alliance member, moved on to Claire.
"Hey, Claire," Jessica addressed. "How, uh, are you doing.... and stuff?"
To Jessica's other side, Ivy mumbled, "Worst greeting ever."
"Oh, do not talk to me, missy," Jessica snapped.
"Drop the act, it's really not fooling anyone," Ivy sighed.
Jessica: (confessional) Who... does... this... girl... think... she... is!?
Caitlin continued explaining before Jessica could pounce on Ivy. "Alright. At the sound of my whistle, the wires will begin revolving around the tower. The revolution speed will gradually increase as time goes by, so you might be throwing up after half an hour."
"Well, that's something to look forward to," Luke frowned.
Caitlin continued, "You can get off at any time you'd like by removing the straps and landing on the safety mattresses below. The last person remaining wins it for their team. The first team to lose all of their members will be facing elimination!"
Luke eyed Mordecai. "Oh, I have an idea of what'll happen tonight."
"Go!" Caitlin shouted as she blew on her whistle.
The wires began revolving around the tower slowly, however, that was too much for Timothy who immediately hopped off.
"Seriously?!" Ivy shouted at him.
"Ahhh, I already feel a headache coming on!" Timothy panicked.
Angie began to feel slightly nauseous, which was evident by her groaning.
She complained, "Ughhhhhh, I really shouldn't have eaten pancakes today..."
Seconds later, she threw up on herself, and immediately hopped off.
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!" she cried.
Timothy, who was by the RV, was horrified. "I'll get the anti-bacterial towels!"
The speed had increased slightly, and Caitlin called, "Collectors have all of their members left, Stars and Cards are down to four!"
Luke had his eyes shut, while muttering, "This is so stupid..."
From behind him, Mordecai sighed, "Can you not be so judgmental of everything? No one needs your attitude."
Luke stuttered, "Yeah, w-well... no one needs you to be so reasonable!"
"Do you listen to yourself!?" Mordecai shouted.
From behind Mordecai, Emilie joked, "No, he just loves hearing himself talk."
Luke furrowed his eyebrows. "Hey! Two against one? I'm out."
Luke unstrapped himself and landed on Angie, who had thrown up on herself.
Timothy exited the RV with an anti-bacterial towel, then noticed Luke was now covered in vomit as well.
"Why didn't anyone tell me!?" Timothy cried in anger.
The wires revolved faster and faster, and Mitchell began panicking.
"Guys, my harness is a little too big for me," he said in a nervous tone.
Sydney saw that Mitchell's entire body was able to fit in one leg hole.
"Think?" she laughed.
Mitchell whined, "It isn't funny! I am not losing this challenge!"
"Pull the pole out of your butt, if you fall, you've got three teammates left," Sydney told him.
Mitchell paused, then shrugged and unstrapped himself from the harness.
Sydney: (confessional) Did I just manipulate someone? Yay!!
Valerie finished telling Jessica, "... and that's why you should never wear yellow plaid. It just doesn't work out!"
Jessica nodded as if she was listening. "Yep, yep. I totally know what you're talking about."
"I mean, I wouldn't be caught dead looking like that," Valerie scoffed.
Jessica continued nodding. "Nope, couldn't be caught dead."
Valerie pointed to Jessica's shirt. "I mean, like, I wouldn't even wear that!"
"Yep, I wouldn't eithe—" Jessica realized what Valerie had said. "Wait, what!?"
Jessica kicked Valerie's harness, which ended up breaking.
Jessica called out to her, "Whoopsies!"
"Caitlin! I demand a re-do!" Valerie ordered.
Caitlin shrugged. "No rules against that."
"Ugh, you're just like Chris!" Valerie said as she stomped away.
"Awwww, thanks! I'll tell him you said that when I get to Hawaii," Caitlin smiled.
The wires were now revolving at the speed of a relatively slow rollercoaster.
Niko sighed. "Weak sauce!"
Sydney began whining, "I'm getting dizzy..."
Mitchell called out to her, in a mocking tone, "Just fall, you've got three teammates left!"
"Hey, don't copy me!" Sydney roared. "I can spread rumors about you faster than Timothy can repel girls!"
From inside the RV, Timothy frowned. "Hey!"
Sydney unstrapped herself, and Mitchell laughed. "Loser."
"Get over here, you little tree stump!" Sydney hollered.
Mitchell gasped. "Tree stump!? Oh, you're on!"
Mitchell and Sydney began slap-fighting, and from her harness, Jessica began to have a laughing fit.
"Oh, this is too much!" Jessica cackled.
She laughed so hard that she ended up flipping over in her harness and falling out. "Whoaaaaa!"
Caitlin cringed as Jessica landed head-first on a mattress. "And that leaves two Cards, three Collectors, and three Stars!"
The harnesses were now really spinning quickly, and just the sight of them was able to make a spectator cross-eyed.
"Ugh, that's it, I'm done," Brandon declared.
He unstrapped himself, but as he fell, Mordecai zoomed right past him, and Brandon ended up getting stuck in Mordecai's harness.
Brandon panicked. "Ahhhhhhhhh!"
Mordecai attempted to shove him off. "Ah! Get off!"
"I'm trying!" Brandon worriedly told him.
Mordecai groaned. "Ugh, you know what?"
He unstrapped himself, and both boys fell down, hitting the mattresses.
"It's all up to Claire to keep the Cards from eliminating a teammate tonight!" Caitlin announced.
Claire frowned. "Thanks. No pressure's on me at all."
"Wheeeeee!" Amanda yelled in joy.
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Brendon echoed.
"Ow, headache, headache!" Ivy complained.
Emilie had her arms folded, bored. "Tick, tock, tick, tock..."
Niko had dead insects all over his face. "Ugh! Stupid speed!"
"Go Claire!!!" Mitchell, Brandon, and Jessica cheered.
Angie would have cheered, however, Timothy was smothering her with an anti-bacterial towel.
"Alright, yeah, I'm done," Emilie said.
She unstrapped herself and landed feetfirst, then walked into the RV as if nothing had happened.
"Looks like we've got this in the bag," Valerie said, satisfied.
"Hmph," Jessica frowned.
At that moment, Amanda fell to the ground.
"What the... why'd you give up!?" Valerie snapped. "You were fine! You were even enjoying it!"
Amanda grinned. "But falling looked even more fun!"
Valerie shook her head. "Ugh..."
Brendon continued screaming. "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"
Niko, Claire, and Ivy were covering their ears in horror.
"Will you please shut up?!" Ivy snapped.
"Whaaaaaaaaaat?" Brendon asked.
Ivy leaned forward. "I said, shut up!!!"
Brendon squinted his eyes. "I can't hear you over the wires breaking the sound barrier and everything!"
Brendon then shrugged and continued screaming. "Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"
"Oh, that's it," Ivy said.
She unstrapped herself and landed on the mattress. "I'm done."
"The teams are all on even ground now!" Caitlin observed. "Only Brendon, Niko, and Claire remain. Next to fall loses the challenge for their team, and the last to fall wins it!"
"Screw it, I'm out too," Niko sighed. "My hearing is more valuable than a victory!"
Ivy and Valerie groaned. "Great!"
Luke laughed hysterically. "Ah! Ahahaha! Blahahahaha!"
"Oh, grow up," Ivy muttered, as she kicked Luke.
"Ow! Ugh, whatever, you're going home tonight, so I don't care," Luke taunted.
Claire and Brendon were now revolving so quickly that it was impossible to tell who was who.
"The wind stings!" Claire moaned.
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Brendon hollered.
Claire then paused. "Why am I still here?! There isn't even a reward!"
Brendon shrugged. "I dunno, I'm having a blast!"
Claire unstrapped herself, and Brendon cheered.
Caitlin blew her whistle again. "Collectors win! Cards... uh... don't lose. As for the Stars, you'll be voting someone off tonight!!"
Ivy: (confessional) This is so embarrassing, being the first team to lose a member... and it'd better not be me!!
The Rest Stop Ceremony took place at the local gas station.
Caitlin walked out of the gas station with four chocolate candy bars.
"Hello, Studded Stars. You know how it goes; I have four candy bars. Four of you will receive one. The contestant who does not receive a candy bar must immediately take the Motel Room Rental of Shame, and can never, ever, ever return to Total Drama Stardom."
"First candy bar goes to... Valerie!"
Valerie caught her candy bar. "Ew, it's melted!"
Valerie: (confessional) Who did I vote for? Well, Niko lost the challenge for us, but Timothy's obviously gonna tear us down in the long run.
"Next one goes to Niko!"
"Nice," Niko smiled, as he caught his bar.
Niko: (confessional) ..... Ivy.
"The next candy bar goes to Amanda!"
Amanda chuckled, "Talk about irony. I'm safe from elimination, but not safe from—"
Ivy put her hand over Amanda's mouth. "Please. Just stop."
Caitlin held the last candy bar in her hand. "Timothy, Ivy, one of you received three votes. The other received two. The person who does not receive the final candy bar must walk the Dock of Sham— excuse me, just take the Motel Room Rental of Shame."
"The final candy bar goes to..."
Timothy and Ivy nervously glanced at each other.
Timothy gasped. "You guys are all infectous jerks!"
Ivy smiled. "See ya later!"
Caitlin pointed behind her. "The motel's that way. You'd be renting a room there, if this weren't a reward challenge!"
"Wait, what?" Niko frowned.
"Fake elimination!" Caitlin grinned.
Timothy grinned. "So, I'm still in?!"
"That's the idea," Caitlin stated. "You five can go back in the RV."
Ivy, Valerie, Amanda, and Niko grumbled as they went back, while Timothy beamed.
Caitlin faced the camera. "And that's it for this episode! Will someone ever get eliminated? What task will our teens face next? Find out next time on Total Drama Stardom!"
Chapter 4: Bosom Cream Pie
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our cast visited Toronto, where they took a spin around CN Tower. I mean, seriously, they actually hung on wires and spun around the thing. Jessica tried to make an alliance.... which failed! The Stars lost the challenge, and Timothy kinda got voted off. And by kinda, I mean it was a trick elimination! Hehe. So, we've still got fifteen players in this here game. And today, we'll be switching countries as we enter the good ol' US of A! Who will finally get eliminated? Find out at the end of this episode!"
Jessica walked over to Brandon.
Jessica: (confessional) I am not giving up on this alliance shiz. I need one, like, now.
"Hey, Brandon," Jessica began.
"Oh. Hey, Jessica," Brandon greeted.
Jessica sat down beside him. "I was just wondering if you wanted to, I dunno, team up in challenges and eliminations and stuff?"
Brandon shrugged. "Well, we're kinda already teamed up, since, we're in teams."
Jessica leaned in closer to Brandon. "Well, you know, I wanna get to know you a little more."
Brandon pointed to Jessica's lower lip. "You have syrup on your lip."
"Oh," Jessica embarrassingly said, then licked it off.
Brandon lied, "I, uh, need to ask Caitlin something. I'll talk to you later."
"Yeah, uh, sure, whatever," Jessica sighed.
Amanda had her face plastered against the window.
She chanted, "Almost.... almost..."
"What are you doing?" Brendon inquired.
She replied, still looking outside the window, "We're about to cross from Canada to the United States!"
Claire, Brandon, Sydney, and Angie's eyes all widened.
They all attacked the window.
"Move it!" Sydney snapped.
"I wanna see!" Brandon whined.
"Brendon, move your immense head," Claire demanded.
"Brandon's head isn't that big," Angie pointed out.
Claire shook her head. "No, I meant Brendon. I would never say that to Bran—"
She caught herself in mid-sentence. "I mean, uh, Brendon's head is big, not Brandon's. Case closed."
Amanda counted down, "Three! Two! One!"
Caitlin slammed on the car horn. "We're here! Welcome to Boston."
"Huh?" Brandon asked. "But, we haven't even crossed the border yet."
Caitlin frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about. We crossed about four hours ago."
Angie stuttered, "B-but... Amanda... and the looking, and the counting, and the—"
Amanda began cracking up. "Oh, you guys are just too gullible!"
Sydney: (confessional, scribbling on a notepad) Amanda likes to... hm, I need something juicy. Something... something... 'Amanda likes to chew off her toenails at night'? Sounds believeable, right?
The contestants filed out of the RV and stood in front of a bakery.
"Oooh, eating challenge?" Brendon grinned.
"No," Caitlin corrected, "I can't afford to buy that many pies. You guys are gonna be baking your own Boston Cream Pies!"
Angie clapped. "Oh, yeah!"
Angie: (confessional) Baking is awesome. Well, except for all the preparation stuff. But at the end you get a cake!!
Caitlin added, "But you'll have to add your team's own flair to the pie. The team that has the most creative and edible pie, wins!"
Caitlin walked the teams into the bakery, where three ovens, counters, and refrigerators were set up.
"All of the ingredients necessary are stored in the refrigerators. Recipes and tools are on the counters. Any que— Oh! I nearly forgot."
Caitlin grinned mischievously. "One of the ingredients is explosive."
"What?!" the contestants gasped.
Amanda asked, "Like, boom-boom, explosive?"
Caitlin dismissed, "Oh, the explosion can't do much. You just have to make sure it ends up in the cake. Any questions?"
Mitchell raised his hand. "What does the winning team win?"
Caitlin paused, then ordered, "Start cooking!"
Mitchell protested, "Bu—"
The Cards met up, and Angie grabbed the recipe.
She read, "Preheat oven to 375 degrees..."
Brandon complied and turned the oven knob to 375.
"... grease and flour two nine-inch round cake pans..."
Mitchell and Claire both grabbed a nine-inch cake pan and spread them all over with grease and flour.
"... sift all-purpose flour, cake flour, baking powder, and salt together. Set aside."
Brandon passed Jessica the ingredients, and she did so.
Angie looked up. "Alright guys, let's... wow, you're fast."
Jessica nodded. "That's what teammates do! Right, teammate?"
She nudged Brandon's shoulder.
Brandon stuttered, "Uh, oh, um, yeah! Totally."
The Collectors gathered together.
Before anyone could even breathe, Luke declared, "The cake is gonna be in the shape of a dollar sign, called it."
Mordecai sighed. "First off, it's a pie. Secondly, do you realize how tough that would be?"
"Don't get all technical with me," Luke snapped.
"Oh, right, you can't comprehend as quickly as the rest of us," Mordecai recalled.
Luke growled, "I oughta throw that explosive ingredient in your face!"
Mordecai started to shoot back an insult, but Emilie separated the two. "Guys, stop it! We've got to work on this cake."
Mordecai stopped. "She's right."
"Suck-up," Luke said, sticking his tongue out.
"Oh, grow up!" Sydney barked at him, as she grabbed the recipe.
She read aloud, "Preheat oven to 375 degrees."
Mordecai turned the oven knob slightly to the right of 375.
Luke stomped his foot and adjusted the knob. "That was 381, you turd."
Emilie: (confessional, motions hanging herself)
The Stars scrambled over to their station.
Amanda wondered, "Hm. Which ingredient do you guys think is the explosive one?"
"No time for speculation!" Ivy snapped. "We need to get baking."
Valerie read, "Preheat oven to 375 degrees."
Valerie then turned the knob on the oven to 475.
"Are you crazy? It's 375," Ivy corrected, as she fixed the knob.
"Well, if we make it 475, it should bake faster, right?" Valerie thought.
Niko shrugged. "Can't argue with logic."
Timothy also shrugged. "As long as I don't get dirty."
Ivy sighed. "Fine. Whatever."
Ivy: (confessional) I don't really know anything about baking, but, whatever.
Back with the Cards, Angie read, "Cream six tablespoons of butter in a deep bowl, with three-fourths of a cup of sugar until light and fluffy."
Jessica began doing so, and almost five seconds later, Claire stopped her. "That's good enough."
"That isn't light or fluffy at all!" Jessica argued, and continued creaming.
Claire frowned. "Next step?"
Angie continued reading, "Beat two eggs into the bowl, one at a time, and then beat in a teaspoon of vanilla extract."
Brandon shuffled through the fridge and found the vanilla extract, but then slipped on some egg yolk which fell on the floor.
The vanilla extract flew through the air, and landed on Sydney's chest.
In a split-second, the vanilla extract exploded, and the remains of Sydney's shirt was scattered all over the Collectors' counter.
Luke stated, "Um, Sydney, your boobs are showing."
"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Sydney grumbled.
She then shrugged. "Whatevs."
Emilie blinked. "You aren't gonna put a shirt on?"
Sydney raised an eyebrow. "No, not really."
"... Alright then," Emilie frowned.
Brendon stared at Sydney. "Don't those, like, strain your back?"
Sydney gasped, then smacked Brendon. "Ugh!"
Caitlin walked over to Sydney. "Okay, uh, girl, you're gonna have to put a shirt on. We're not gonna edit... those... out... for the rest of the episode."
Sydney grumbled and walked back to the RV to get another shirt.
Ivy then carefully grabbed the vanilla extract from the Studded Stars' fridge.
She chanted, "Alright, I got this, I got this, I got this..."
"Oh my gosh, I broke a nail!!" Valerie shouted in terror.
Ivy, startled, dropped the vanilla extract, and her shoes were blown off.
She screamed, "My shoes!! Valerie, you are dead!"
Valerie chuckled, "Sweetie, I did you a favor. Those shoes were yes-ter-day!"
Ivy clenched her teeth, then ran over to the Collectors' counter.
She grabbed their vanilla extract and threw it at Valerie, who's top exploded similar to Sydney's.
"Oh, now it's a party," Niko snickered.
Valerie's eyes widened, and she threw an egg at Ivy.
Caitlin ran back into the kitchen. "We are not starting a food fight! I'm not buying extra ingredidents!"
The screen split into three sections, one with each team, and fast-forwarded two hours later.
The teams all had two vanilla cakes and a bowl of custard.
The Cards smiled at their success.
Angie asked, "Wait, what's gonna be our team 'flair'?"
Brandon suggested, "We could make the frosting silver. As in, like, our logo."
"I like the way you think," Jessica approved.
They searched through the counters and found some food coloring, then began dyeing the dish.
The Collectors resumed their previous argument.
Luke outlined a dollar sign shape on the pie. "It's perfect!"
"No, it's stupid and it won't work!" Mordecai argued.
"Yes, it will! You're so rejective!" Luke shot back.
Mordecai threw his hands in the air. "Is that even a word?! You know what, fine, do your dollar sign cake."
Luke smiled in satisfaction. "Alright, let's get cutting!"
He grabbed a knife and began cutting the cake.
He then paused and asked, "How do I do this?"
The Studded Stars had completely finished their pie.
Niko grinned. "It's perfect!"
Ivy also began to grin, but then her eyes widened in horror. "We forgot to add our own special thing!"
"Oh, crap!" Valerie said, annoyed.
Ivy began shuffling through the counters.
Amanda pointed to a white container. "Vanilla icing?"
Niko turned the container around. "Hm. Whatever, it works!"
Amanda slowly applied the icing on the cake, and make it spell out the words "Studded Stars Rule".
Caitlin sat at a table in front of three Boston Cream Pies.
The one on the left was a regular Boston Cream Pie, only with silver chocolate frosting.
The one on the right was also the exact same thing as a Boston Cream Pie, only with a message on top of it.
The Bostom Cream Pie in the middle was shaped in a large S-shape.
Mordecai elbowed Luke. "What the heck? You totally screwed it up!"
"Oh, calm down," Luke worriedly assured.
Caitlin took a bite of the Credit Cards' cake first.
She nodded in satisfaction. "Great taste, and the coloring doesn't affect the chocolate at all. Great work."
The Credit Cards high-fived each other, and Jessica winked at Brandon.
Caitlin moved on to the Cash Collectors.
"Well, this looks... different," Caitlin said, trying not to address the poorly-cut shape.
She nibbled on a small slice of it, then, in a shocked tone, exclaimed, "Wow, this is delicious!"
Emilie: (confessional) We have a chance!
Caitlin moved on to the final one.
"Ooooh, this looks pretty good. Vanilla and chocolate," she grinned.
She took a large bite out of it, then coughed.
"Bleh! What is this!? It tastes burnt, firstly, and secondly, that isn't vanilla!"
Valerie frowned. "What are you talking about?"
She dabbed her finger in the icing, tasted it, then also coughed. "Ew! Glue!"
Ivy's eyes widened. "Who keeps glue in the kitchen?!"
"I think it's obvious; Cards win, Collectors come in second, and Stars lose! Again!!"
The Stars all faced each other. "This was your fault!"
The Rest Stop Ceremony took place shortly after.
Ivy glared at Amanda, who glared at Niko, who glared at Valerie, who glared at Timothy, who glared at a rusty pole.
Caitlin walked out with four candy bars.
She clarified, "Someone is going home, just to tell you guys."
Amanda nodded. "Great."
Valerie also nodded. "Perfect."
Caitlin threw the first candy bar at Niko.
Niko smiled. "Awesome."
She threw the second candy bar at Ivy.
Ivy: (confessional) Valerie! That witch nearly blew off my toenails!
The third candy bar went to Timothy.
Timothy dodged it. "Ew! It's melting."
Caitlin then held the last candy bar in her hands, and looked at Valerie, then Amanda.
"This was a really tough vote... everyone got at least one vote except Niko."
Niko smiled again. "Aw, I'm loved."
"Don't lie to yourself, honey," Ivy jeered.
"The final candy bar goes to Valerie."
Valerie caught the candy bar. "Yes! In your face!"
Amanda rolled her eyes. "Fine! Hmph."
She stomped back to the RV, collected her luggage, and walked to the nearest motel.
"It's about time, she was ticking me off," Niko sighed.
Caitlin signed off. "And that's the end of it! Two contestants down, thirteen to go! Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Total. Drama. Stardom!"
Chapter 5: New York Dorks
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, the three teams and I entered the United States! Yep, that's right. I had to pay a toll. Anyways, we went over to Boston, Massachusetts where we had this season's cooking challenge! Each team made their own Bostom Cream Pie. After Brandon's klutzy self slipped, Sydney blew her top off. Literally! And minutes later, Ivy and Valerie were both explosive messes! After the Stars nearly poisoned me, they were sent to the elimination ceremony, where Amanda got the boot! Later, gator! Today, we'll be heading over to the city that never sleeps! Tune into this exciting episode of Total. Drama. Stardom!"
The RV screeched to a halt.
Brendon gasped. "Look!"
He pointed out the window, where he and the others realized their location.
Emilie smiled. "New York City! Broadway musicals, here we come."
"Broadway? Pfft!" Valerie scoffed. "I'm more excited about the shopping!!"
She grinned. "Where's the fashion district?"
Brendon and Brandon both looked out the same window, then took notice of each other.
They both said in unison, "... Oh, you. What's that supposed to mean?! Oh my goodness, I'm going to—"
Ivy shouted, "Will you two shut up?! And, I don't get what's so great about New York City."
Jessica raised her hand. "Same here."
"Make that three," Niko chimed.
Luke leaned back on a chair. "Four."
"Oh, learn to live a little," Emilie scolded.
Mordecai stared at the window, over at a man performing magic tricks on the street.
The man pulled out a rabbit from his top hat, and the people observing him clapped.
Mordecai shook his head. "Amateur!"
Mitchell also looked out the window, and noticed the extreme height of the buildings.
He mumbled, "So... tall... getting... dizzy..."
"Oh my goodness," Timothy said in disbelief.
He watched as a woman dropped a used napkin on the sidewalk.
He shouted out the window, "Pick that up!! Like, now!!!"
The woman looked at him, flipped him off, then continued walking.
Timothy gasped, then sobbed, "I need a hug."
Caitlin cleared her throat. "Welcome to New York City! You guys have probably heard all about this place; Broadway! Central Park! Statue of Liberty! Times Square! Which we're on right now. That's why there's so much dang traffic!!"
She slammed on the horn. "Move it!! You don't need a car in New York City anyways!!"
She recollected herself and continued, "The first part of today's challenge starts here, in Times Square. I've managed to get a couple of subway lines closed off for challenge purposes. You'll have to take your team's train over to Yankee Stadium! Which is way uptown. 161st Street, to be exact. Once you get there, I'll explain that portion of the challenge. For now, find your way over to the Times Square train station and take your assigned train! Credit Cards have the grey C train, Collectors have the green C train, and Stars have got the orange S train!"
"I hate orange," Sydney muttered.
"It's our team color," Ivy reminded her. "Live with it."
Caitlin opened the RV door. "Ready?"
Luke yawned. "No."
The teens raced down the steps of the Times Square station entrance.
"Whoa, that's a big train," Brandon commented.
The teams entered into their assigned subway trains, and Caitlin's voice boomed through the speakers. "Hello, contestants! Two of your team members will have to man the steering wheel, or, should I say, handle. Yeah, I know, it's weird. The other three, or two, in the Stars' case, will have to answer random New York City trivia that I ask over the speakers! If you get it right, your train gets a speed boost! Get it wrong, and you get delayed. So, pick your people!"
"I call driver person!" Angie shouted, running to the front of the train car.
"I'll go with her, I guess," Mitchell shrugged.
"Emilie and I should drive!" Mordecai snapped.
"No way! Sydney and I should!" Luke shot back.
Sydney whispered to Emilie, "Do you even wanna drive?"
Emilie whispered back, "Not at all."
Sydney cleared her throat. "Hey, guys, why don't both of you drive?"
"What?!" Mordecai and Luke hollered in disbelief.
Sydney and Emilie pushed the two into the conductor's car.
"I know a lot-ish about New York, so I'm staying here," Valerie declared.
"Same here!" Niko chimed.
Ivy walked to the conductor's car pulling Timothy by the arm. "Let's go!"
The trains began moving, and Caitlin's voice was heard through the speakers.
She recited, "What is the "main" street in Times Square?"
Valerie, Claire, and Brendon all answered, "Forty-second street!"
The three trains all sped up, now at 63rd street.
Caitlin continued, "How many boroughs are in New York City?"
"Five!" Valerie replied, while the Cards and Collectors gave no response.
The Stars' train advanced on, now at 78th street, while the Cards and Collectors were at 69th street.
"Push it to the left!" Mordecai ordered.
"No, we should keep going straight!" Luke defied.
Mordecai and Luke pulled the handle back and forth until it snapped off, and the train continued going straight without stopping.
"Uh-oh," the two said in unison.
"Next question!" Caitlin's voice echoed. "What avenue stretches all the way from the north Bronx, down to the tip of Manhattan?"
Niko and Brandon answered, "Broadway."
The Collectors, again, gave no reponse.
The Stars were now at 94th street, the Cards at 85th, and the Collectors at 77th.
Caitlin asked her fourth question. "What locomotive is necessary to ride in order to get to the Statue of Liberty?"
Brendon whispered, "What's a locomotive?"
Sydney shrugged, while Emilie answered, "A boat?"
In the other trains, Niko and Jessica answered, "The Staten Island Ferry."
The Stars advanced to 103rd street, Cards to 96th street, and Collectors to 81st street.
"Next question... the Empire State Building has home many stories?"
"Like, fairy tales?" Sydney asked, while Valerie answered, "102 floors."
The Cards gave no reponse, and only the Stars sped up.
"Alright, last question, and then it's all up to your conductors!" Caitlin warned.
She quizzed, "Central Park is huge. How many city blocks long is it?"
Valerie mumbled, "It goes from 59th to 110th, so that's..."
Niko finihed, "51 blocks!"
The Cards and Collectors gave no response, and Caitlin shut off the speakers.
At that point, the Stars were on 142nd street, the Cards on 119th, and the Collectors on 95th.
The Stars stopped in the 161st street station, and exited.
"Where's Yankee Stadium?" Timothy asked aloud, scracthing his head.
"It's a baseball stadium," Ivy reminded. "We can't miss it."
The team turned around and saw the large, 97000 square meter stadium.
Niko pointed to the entrance. "There it is."
"Thank you, because that wasn't painfully obvious," Ivy sighed.
They entered the stadium, where Caitlin awaited, with three baseball bats beside her, and three pitching machines about fifty yards away.
"Hello, Stars! Here, you'll have to hit three homeruns in order to continue to the next and last part of the challenge. You've arrived first, so you get to choose which bat you'd like to use," Caitlin explained.
Timothy asked, "What's the difference between them?"
Caitlin pointed to each bat. "This one's made of wood, this one's made of metal, and this one's als made of metal, but it's not hollow, it's just totally metal."
The Stars whispered amongst each other.
Ivy whispered, "The hollow steel one! It's the best bet."
"But, wouldn't the not-hollow steel one hit the ball further?" Valerie protested.
Ivy mumbled, "Yeah, I guess so..."
Niko told Caitlin, "We'll take the, uh, fully-steel one!"
Timothy grabbed the bat and immediately dropped it. "This thing is heavy!!"
"Oh, grow a pear," Valerie insulted.
She attempted to lift the baseball bat, but dropped it as well. "Ow!"
"Well, this isn't good," Ivy frowned.
The Cards made it outside of the subway and entered Yankee Stadium.
Caitlin held both of the remaining bats. "Cards, you have to hit three homeruns in order to advance. Take your pick; wooden bat, or metal bat?"
Jessica quickly chose, "Steel bat. C'mon guys, we're behind!"
"I don't think you have anything to worry about," Caitlin chuckled, pointing to the Stars, who required three teammates in order to lift the bat.
"Well, let's get going!" Angie said, grabbing the bat from Jessica.
Angie: (confessional) I don't really know how to play baseball. But, you just like, catch the ball, then hit it with the stick, right?
Angie swung wildly and actually managed to hit a home run.
She squealed, "Eeeeee! Touchdown!!"
"It's 'home run', Angie," Brandon corrected.
"You ran away from home?" Angie gasped.
Brandon stared at her blankly.
The Collectors, now far behind, exited the station with Mordecai and Luke staring each other down.
Brendon tried to get the two to compromise. "C'mon guys, we're a team! We need to stick together and win the challenge."
"I bet Mordecai would love to be stuck next to a dude," Luke remarked.
Emilie gasped. "Don't be such a jerk!!"
She shoved him against the Yankee Stadium entrance door.
Luke: (confessional) Big mistake.
They entered, and Caitlin tossed the wooden bat to them. "Hit three homeruns to advance. You're way behind, so you'd better get going!"
Luke rushed over to the third pitching machine and ordered, "Alright, who can swing?"
Sydney, Brendon, and Mordecai raised their hands.
Luke lowered Mordecai's hand. "It's not nice to lie."
Sydney mumbled, "I hate people who lie..."
"Oh, you're so funny," Mordecai and Emilie said in unison, then blushed.
Luke took notice, and narrowed his eyes at them. "Well. I guess Sydney, Brendon, and I are swinging."
"Oh, that's a funny coincidence," Brendon laughed. "We're like, together and stuff with the challenges and voting and everything, and—"
Brendon caught himself. "Nevermind..."
Mordecai and Emilie glanced at each other, both realizing the obvious.
A montage was then shown of the teens attempting to hit home runs, but failing miserably.
Timothy, Valerie, and Ivy all tried to swing, but ended up dropping the bat, and Timothy got hit in the groin by the un-hit ball.
Jessica swung, missed, and the bat flew out of her hands, hitting Timothy in the groin again.
Sydney swung, and hit the ball, however, it hit Timothy in the groin for the third time.
"I'm gonna go... sit down... if that's possible anymore..." Timothy decided.
Niko stood up, grabbed the bat, and swumg, hitting a home run. "Oh, that was easy..."
Ivy was speechless. "How did you..."
So was Valerie. "Why didn't you..."
"Do it again!" Timothy yelled, from the bench.
"No problem!" Niko yelled back, hitting another home run.
Niko: (confessional) Yeah, I play sports. Okay, I play sports a lot. It just helps my... smooth moves. (winks)
Brandon, Claire, and Angie were all taking turns swinging, each missing.
"This is so hard!" Claire cried.
Angie: (confessional, snickering) That's what she said. (laughs hysterically, falls out of chair)
Jessica grabbed the bat and swung, and the ball soared across the stadium, hitting the edge, but not being considered as a home run.
She complained, "Oh, come on!!! Caitlin!!"
Caitlin shrugged. "Rules are rules. But, meh, I guess I'll let it slide."
"Woo! That's three, right?" Angie counted.
"Two. We've still got one more," Mitchell reminded.
With the Collectors, Brendon swung, and hit a home run.
He smiled. "This wooden bat weighs like, a pound! It's so easy to swing!"
Sydney also swung a home run. "Woo! We're guaranteed winners!"
Next to bat was Luke. He swung, hit the ball, and the bat snapped in half.
The ball, however, fell short. "Whoops."
Mordecai's jaw dropped. "Great! Now what?!"
"Oh, I know, let's use Mordecai's body as a bat," Luke sarcastically suggested.
"Oh, I know, let's all vote Luke off for breaking our bat and ruining our chances!" Mordecai imitated.
The two stared each other down again.
Niko hit the third and final homerun for the Studded Stars and cheered. "Yes!"
He turned to Caitlin. "What now?"
Caitlin pointed to the 161st street subway station. "Go back in there and race over to 86th street. From there, run to Central Park! Last team there has to vote someone off."
The Studded Stars raced down the stairs and entered the subway, and took their old positions in the train.
"Next stop, immunity!" Ivy cheered.
Back at the stadium, and Cards were still having trouble hitting.
Luke looked aorund the stadium and saw that the Studded Stars had left their baseball bat. "There!"
He ran over to it and tried to lift it, then dropped it on his foot. "Owwwwwwwwwwwwww!!"
"Go karma!" Mordecai whooped.
Luke sneered, "Don't just stand there, unless, you know, you wanna get voted off tonight."
Mordecai and Emilie sighed and helped Luke lift the bat.
And, at the same time, the Cards and Collectors both hit a home run.
"Yes!" the ten of them cheered.
Caitlin pointed over to the subway station. "Get yourselves over to 86th street and race to Central Park! The Stars have an unbeatable lead right now!"
The Cards and Collectors shoved each other as they ran down the stairs. "Move it!"
The ten of them filed into their trains and raced, the Cards just slightly ahead.
While racing, Luke frowned, "We're gonna lose!"
"You just now realize?" Emilie remarked.
Mordecai pointed to the broken handle. "Well..."
Luke pushed the handle forward, and the train sped up slightly, hitting the back of the Cards' train.
Claire fell out of her seat. "Ow!"
Mordecai and Luke both pushed the handle with all their strength, and it rammed into the back of the Cards' train.
"What's going on?!?!" Angie panicked.
"I have no idea!" Mitchell replied.
The Stars exited the 86th street train station and ran over to Central Park.
There stood Caitlin, and they cheered. "We won!!"
Caitlin nodded. "Yep, you did. And it's about time you won a challenge! Now, let's see which team comes in last..."
Both the Cards and Collectors stumbled out of the 86th street train station shortly after.
"Why the heck did you guys crash into us?!" Luke sneered.
"You crashed into us!" Brandon corrected.
Jessica pulled Brandon by the arm to Caitlin, while the Collectors also ran over to her.
Caitlin frowned. "Great, it's a tie."
"Ew, I hate ties," Sydney mumbled. "Especially the ones around peoples' necks."
"You're very hateful today, Sydney," Brendon pointed out.
Mordecai tapped his wand against his leg. "Well, how are we gonna break this tie?"
"Don't rush me!" Caitlin growled.
She noticed a bike rental booth and smiled. "I've got it!"
Caitlin walked over to the booth and rented two bikes. "Cards, Collectors, the tiebreaker challenge is a bike race across Central Park. Each team needs to pick one member to represent them for this tiebreaker!"
"Not it!" Brendon, Sydney, Emilie, and Mordecai declared.
"Oh, that is so fourth grade!" Luke frustratedly told them. "Fine, I'll do it."
The Credit Cards, however, all wanted to do the challenge.
Angie claimed, "I'm a pretty good pedaler!"
"And I'm great at turning!" Claire argued.
"So am I," Brandon added.
"I'm going for the Cards!" Jessica decided.
Angie, Brandon, and Claire groaned, while Mitchell shrugged.
Mitchell: (confessional) I don't like bikes. My feet can't reach the pedals.
Jessica and Luke were mounted on their bikes, staring each other down.
Caitlin instructed, "You guys are gonna ride your bikes across Central Park. Right now we're on West 86th Street. The first person to make it to East 86th Street wins the tiebreaker, and the loser's team will be voting someone off tonight!"
"So, who are you voting off?" Luke asked.
Jessica, confused, replied, "Huh?"
"You know, when you lose the challenge," Luke snickered.
"Oh, ha, ha. Very funny," Jessica disproved. "I hope you like candy bars."
Luke asked, "What's that supposed to mean?!"
Caitlin blew her whistle. "Go!"
The two pedaled into the 86th Street entrance.
They zoomed past the green grass along the paths in Central Park, avoiding joggers and other people.
The two reached a fork in the path, and both went separate directions.
Jessica, who took the path on the right, hit a dead end after thirty seconds of pedaling.
She slammed on the brake and stomped her foot. "Great! Luke's probably way ahead of me now!"
Luke took the path on the left, and continued zooming through Central Park.
He chuckled, "She'll never catch up to me!"
A large white splat landed on Luke's hat, and he panicked. "What the heck was that?!"
Still pedaling, he took off his hat and examined it.
He looked up at the sky and shouted, "Frickin' pigeons!!"
Since he took his eyes off the path, he crashed into a tree. "Oof!"
Jessica passed by him and waved, "Later, Luke!"
She exited Central Park on East 86th Street and let out a loud cheer. "Yes!"
"The Credit Cards are safe!!" Caitlin announced. "As for the Collectors... you'll be voting someone off!"
Luke limped out of Central Park with a broken bike. "Uhhhhhhh...."
Mordecai and Emilie: (confessional, whispering, then sighing)
Mordecai: (confessional, to Emilie) So, what do you think?
Emilie: (confessional, to Mordecai) I guess this is goodbye. There's no stopping Luke's obvious thing going on with Brendon and Sydney...
Mordecai: (confessional, frowning, hugs Emilie)
The Rest Stop Ceremony took place in the Times Square subway station.
Caitlin walked outside of a small convenience shop with four candy bars, and a key chain with the Empire State Building on it.
She stopped in front of the teens. "Before I start giving these out, do you guys like my key chain?"
Sydney and Brendon nodded. "Totally."
Luke suggested, "You should've gotten one with your name on it."
"Snap! I oughta do that later," Caitlin promised, looking back at the store she exited.
She then turned back to the Collectors.
"Alright. I only have four candy bars. The contestant who does not receive a candy bar must take the red L train — for losers!"
"The first candy bar goes to Brendon."
Brendon cheered. "Woo!"
He caught the candy bar and cheered again. "Almonds! Woo!"
Sydney frowned. "Aw, I hate almonds."
"Too bad," Caitlin scowled, as she threw the second candy bar at Sydney.
Sydney refused to catch it, and the candy bar hit her square in the forehead, knocking her out.
"The next candy bar goes to..."
Mordecai looked at Emilie, nodded, then looked back at Caitlin.
Mordecai's eyes widened as he caught his candy bar. "I'm safe?! I'm safe! But, wait..."
"And the last candy bar goes to..."
Mordecai realized too late. "No!"
Emilie sighed and stood up. "I guess this show and I just weren't meant to be."
Mordecai also stood up. "Emilie, I..."
"It's okay," she assured. "I saw this coming."
Luke: (confessional) Why Emilie? The two have obviously got some pathetic relationship going on. Voting off Emilie hurt Morde-cry more than it would if I voted him off. Plus, she shoved me. No one shoves me! Well, no one should.
Caitlin, staring at her key chain, snapped out of her trance. "Oh, right! Emilie, time to go."
Emilie boarded the red L train, and smiled at Mordecai, who was still being silenced by Luke.
Caitlin continued staring at her key chain, and Brendon awkwardly asked, "Sign off?"
Caitlin ignored him and looked at the key chain from a different angle. "OH MY GOSH!! Now it's the Statue of Liberty!"
Brendon blinked, then did the sign off. "Uhh... That ends our exciting... What episode are we on?"
Sydney, woken up from her knocked-out state, whispered, "Fifth."
Then in a normal tone of voice, she added, "Ew, I hate the number five."
Brendon continued, "That ends our exciting fifth episode! Thirteen remain. Will the Cards ever lose a member? Like, seriously? Will Caitlin ever get over her key chain? Find out only on the next episode of Total! Drama! Stardom! Ooh, I'm gonna go get a 'Brendon' key chain."
Chapter 6: Celebrity Manhunt's Exclusive First Aftermath
A spotlight shone on Josh, former Celebrity Manhunt host, now assigned to the job of hosting the Total Drama Stardom Aftermath.
He smiled, "Welcome, welcome! You guys all recognize this place; the aftermath studio! Geoff and Bridgette made out on this very couch!"
He paused. "... I'm just gonna sit over here."
Josh moved over to the interviewee couch and dusted himself off. "Alright!"
"The first five episodes have been pretty entertaining, am I right?" Josh hyped.
The audience cheered and clapped, and Josh nodded.
The classic aftermath music played softly in the background as Josh said, "We'll be interviewing our three rejects; Brian, Amanda, and Emilie!"
A static buzz was heard in the background, and the aftermath TV screen flickered.
Josh gasped, "Oh! We did it! A week ago, we tried to get a feed from our abandoned cast in Hawaii. I think it's reaching us!"
The flickering on the TV screen ceased and Chris came into view, with tattered clothes and a beard.
He whispered, "Day 63 of strandation... we're nearly out of coconuts... and Owen's gone mad."
The camera shifted to Owen, who rolled around in the sand on his stomach, mumbling, "Tacos... I don't even remember what those look like..."
"And Alejandro's coping pretty well," Chris added, and he shifted the camera over to Alejandro, still in the Drama Machine.
Alejandro wheeled himself over to a nearby tree and attempted to knock a coconut off it, but instead ended up completely knocking the tree over.
Chris laughed, and the feed was lost.
"Dangit!" Josh complained, then faced the camera again.
"That'll be happening a few times during our show," Josh smiled. "Now, let's introduce our first guest!"
"He's five hundred pounds of denial in a ninety-eight pound body! Please welcome, Brian!"
Brian hopped out from backstage and made muscle-man poses. "Raaaaah!"
Josh blinked. "Brian! Welcome! Come take a seat!"
Brian sat down on the interviewee couch beside Josh.
He asked, "Josh, shouldn't you, uh, be on the interview-person seat?"
"That thing is contaminated!!" Josh protested.
Josh then began the interview. "So, how's it like being Total Drama Stardom's Ezekiel?"
"Ezekiel?! I'm not a zombie!!" Brian replied, offended.
"Oh, calm down," Josh laughed. "It's just that you got eliminated first..."
Brian frowned. "Yeah, it sucks. But, hey, at least I didn't get voted off."
"Well, no one wanted you on their team, so that's actually worse, dude," Josh pointed out.
Brian paused to think about it, then shrugged. "Whatever. I didn't really have too many friends anyways. Makes sense that I'd go first."
Josh chuckled, "Ho, ho, ho! Actually, you did have friends. Roll clip!"
The TV screen flickered, and an image came into view of Brian, Ivy, Mitchell, Timothy, Mordecai, Amanda, and Emilie in the RV.
Brian stuttered, "When... when.... when was this?!"
Josh sighed, "Oh, don't pretend not to remember. The people in this clip were all the first seven people out in the Newfoundland challenge, since Sydney took a snooze in her boat."
He pointed back to the TV. "Let's watch!"
Mitchell sighed, "This is so boring..."
Ivy agreed, "I'm bored out of my mind..."
"Let's play a game, huh?" Amanda suggested.
It caught Timothy's attention. "What kind of game?"
Amanda shrugged. "Truth or Dare?"
The other teens shrugged, and then approved.
Amanda quickly added, "Alphabetical order!!"
Everyone else groaned as Amanda grinned.
She pointed to Ivy. "Ivy! Truth or Dare?"
"Truth, obviously," Ivy replied.
Amanda thought, then asked, "If you had to hook up with any guy in this RV, who would it be?"
Ivy's eyes widened, and she frowned. "I'm not answering that!"
"You have to! You picked truth! Now, spill!" Amanda demanded.
Ivy rolled her eyes. "Ugh, fine. I can't believe I'm saying this, but, Brian."
Amanda giggled as Brian gasped, then blushed.
Mordecai, Mitchell, and Timothy all made protests.
"Look! Mitchell, you remind me of my little brother. Timothy, you're a freak. Same with you, Cai. That only leaves Brian, and he's pretty decent," Ivy explained.
"Awwwwww!" Amanda teased.
Brian, still blushing, realized, "It's my turn!
"Timothy! Truth or Dare?" Brian asked.
Timothy quickly responded, "Truth! Dares always end up including contact with a bacteria-infested object."
Brian looked around the RV, then asked, "If you were a team captain, which four people would you pick?"
Timothy thought for a second. "Hm. I guess you, you're pretty nice-ish. And Angie, definitely Angie. Oh, and Mitchell! I'm sure there's a pill for shortness."
Mitchell laughed sarcastically. "Oh, you're hilarious."
"And, I guess..." Timothy finished, "Sydney? I dunno."
Ivy mumbled to Emilie, "Sounds like a lame team."
Emilie gave no response, shrugging.
Brian shrugged. "Alright. What was the point of that?"
Josh shook his head in disappointment. "This kid is hopeless. You have friends. They decided not to pick you. Do you know what that means?"
"My friends don't like awesomeness?" Brian winked.
Josh rolled his eyes. "Y'know what? You're annoying. But, let's move on to our next guest, who annoyed the pants off everyone! Please welcome, Amanda!"
The audience clapped as Amanda walked in, waving to the crowd.
Amanda took a seat beside Brian and asked Josh, "Why did you just interview a twig?"
The audience laughed, as well as Josh.
Brian, however, sternly glared at Amanda and shot back, "Oh, what joke book did you get that one from?"
The audience all gasped, and a random person shouted, "Do you need some ice for that burn?"
Josh, still amused, quieted, "Alright, alright. Now, Amanda, I—"
The aftermath TV flickered once again, and Josh squealed. "Shhh! Shhh! We're getting a feed from Hawaii!"
A blurred image of Chris came into view, however, he now had a tooth missing.
Chris hyperventilated. "Heather... Gwen... LeShawna... Slapping... Scratching... Kicking..."
Chef took hold of the camera and mumbled, "Just watch this."
He moved the camera over to focus on Heather, Gwen, and LeShawna, who were all kicking and slapping each other.
Through the fighting, Heather shouted, "That is my coconut!"
"Nuh-uh, girl!" LeShawna protested, yanking Heather's ponytail.
"That was all mine!" Gwen claimed, attempting to push LeShawna with no success.
Chef focused the camera back on him, with the girls' screams heard in the background. "Y'all see what we gotta go through?!"
Chef was then hit in the head by the coconut the girls were fighting over, and the feed was lost.
Josh was rolling on the floor, chanting, "Catfight! Catfight!"
"Dude, get up! The feed's gone," Brian told him.
Josh's eyes widened as he stood up, dusted himself off, and sat beside Amanda. "Right. Uh, well. Amanda. You are un-arguably the most annoying person on Total Drama, only being beaten by the dolphin BFF's. How do you feel about that?"
Amanda shrugged. "I dunno. How's it feel to be the least popular Celebrity Manhunt host?"
Josh gasped. "Hey! Blaineley's only popular because she got loopholed into the show! I'm way better than that forty-one year old—"
"Blaineley's forty-one?!" Brian gasped, along with the audience.
"The camera takes off about fifteen years, darlings," Josh chuckled.
Amanda paused. "Then, how old does that make you?"
Josh froze. "Moving on! Amanda, how do you think you 'left your mark' with the other contestants?"
"I think I can be known as a good friend," Amanda nodded.
Josh and Brian looked at each other, restraining their laughter.
Josh then said slowly to Amanda, "No... one... likes... you. Comprende?"
"I don't speak Russian," Amanda frowned.
Josh awkwardly stared at her, then changed the topic. "Here's a little-known fact; Amanda actually broke a Total Drama record!"
Amanda gasped, "Really?"
Josh nodded, "Yep. One of the longest confessionals recorded. It couldn't be aired, but it took place right before the fake elimination in Toronto! Roll clip!"
Amanda: (confessional) Oooh, first elimination ceremony! I'm so excited!! Someone's gonna go home in an awesome suspenseful way like always. It's so fun! Wait, why am I here? Oh, right, I have to vote someone off. Hm. Who should I vote for? Ivy? She's so mean and uptight. Like, seriously. She needs to let her hair down. And out of that ponytail. It should be illegal to have a ponytail that tight. But on the other hand, Timothy's a freak! I mean, look at him! I don't think it'd be smart for us to keep him on the team. Valerie's okay, I guess, she's just a total witch sometimes. Niko's, uh, nice... (blushes) But, um, yeah. I guess I'm gonna have to vote for Timothy. He's just not right for the team! Then again, no one is. Gosh, Valerie picked such a crappy team... And I got robbed in that Newfoundland challenge! I totally had that flag. Ugh! Oh, elimination in five minutes! Well, if I go home tonight — wait, let's face it, that obviously isn't happening! (cackles) I should really get going, but I won't! (Ivy shouts, "Get a move on!") Alright, fine.
"Long-winded, are we now?" Josh slyly remarked.
Amanda blinked. "I don't remember saying any of that."
Josh nudged her shoulder. "What about the Niko part? Eh?"
"No, uh, none of that ever happened!" Amanda denied.
Josh shook his head. "And I thought Season One Duncney was pathetic. Get a load of this!"
Amanda, furious, asked, "Why don't you move on to the final guest, huh?"
Josh nodded excitedly. "Oooh! Yes. The juicy stuff. Let's get straight to the guest we've all been waiting for, Emilie!"
Emilie entered, smiling, and took a seat beside Amanda.
"Em! What's up?" Josh greeted.
Emilie frowned. "Don't call me 'Em'. And, I'm doing fine."
"Alright, let's get straight to it; what's the deal between you and Mordecai, huh?" Josh anxiously questioned.
"Mordecai and I are nothing but good friends," Emilie re-enforced.
Josh pointed to the TV and winked.
Emilie sighed, "You have a clip, don't you?"
"You know it, girl!" Josh extravagantly cheered. "Roll clip!"
(Changes to this version of the scene are indicated in orange font.)
"The first candy bar goes to Brendon."
Brendon cheered. "Woo!"
He caught the candy bar and cheered again. "Almonds! Woo!"
Sydney frowned. "Aw, I hate almonds."
"Too bad," Caitlin scowled, as she threw the second candy bar at Sydney.
Sydney refused to catch it, and the candy bar hit her square in the forehead, knocking her out.
"The next candy bar goes to..."
Mordecai looked at Emilie, nodded, both smiled at each other, then looked back at Caitlin.
Mordecai's eyes widened as he caught his candy bar. "I'm safe?! I'm safe! But, wait..."
Tears began to well up in his eyes as Caitlin announced, "And the last candy bar goes to..."
Mordecai realized too late. "No!"
Emilie sighed and stood up, tears also forming slightly in her eyes. "I guess this show and I just weren't meant to be."
Mordecai also stood up, filled with both rage and sorrow. "Emilie, I..."
"It's okay," she assured, sniffling. "I saw this coming."
The audience all warmly said, "Awwwwwwww."
"It's amazing what CGI can do, huh?" Josh taunted.
Emilie shook her head. "We're just close friends. I'm sure the tears were just because Luke had to separate us."
Josh jeered, "Alright, prove it with a game of Truth or Hammer!"
The Truth or Hammer theme came on, and when it ended, Emilie's eyes widened.
Josh reminded, "All you've got to do is tell the truth. If you lie, the hammer will swing down! Hopefully, you'll, uh, dodge."
"And if I don't?!" Emilie desperately asked.
"Uh, good luck!" Josh grinned.
He repeated his previous question. "What's the deal between you and Mordecai?"
Emilie opened her mouth to speak, but noticed the hammer, then sighed. "I can't deny it any longer; we're.... together, to put it in simplest form."
Josh squealed excitedly, then assured, "Alright, you're good. I just needed to hear that!"
Emilie then whispered something in Josh's ear, and he squealed once again.
"Emilie's got a little surprise for us!" Josh smiled. "Let's take a trip to last season."
Emilie stood up, center-stage, and was suddenly tossed a microphone.
She spoke into it. "I'm going to be singing a song I wrote after my elimination about Mordecai. It's called, 'A Magic Ride'."
The music began playing in the background, the lights dimmed, and Emilie sang:
You cast a spell on my heart
I didn't need one from the start
The way you love me is enough
I'm serious; I never bluff
You take me on a magic ride
You make me warmer deep inside
I'll always stand right by your side
'Cause you take me on a magic ride
Together we're unstoppable
Not a thing's impossible
Although failure is probable
Enjoy the ride like a carnival
'Cause you take me on a magic ride
You make me warmer deep inside
I'll always stand right by your side
'Cause you take me on a magic ride
You take me on a magic ride
You take me on a magic ride
The lights went back on as the audience cheered loudly, while Emilie smiled and bowed.
Josh sniffled. "That was... so...."
He then began crying hysterically in Amanda's lap.
Amanda patted him on the back. "There, there."
Josh pointed to the TV again, sobbing. "R-R-R-Roll.... That's G-Gonna Leave a Mark...."
Brian leaned back in his seat. "My favorite part!"
The first clip was in Newfoundland, where Timothy had opened an oyster, but then closed it on his finger, panicked, and crashed into Valerie.
The next was in Quebec, where the Cash Collectors were running down the sidewalk. Brendon tripped, landing face-first, and ended up also tripping Sydney, Mordecai, and Luke.
Third to appear was a clip of Niko in Quebec. He unstrapped himself from the harness, landed on a mattress, but then bounced and landed face-down on the concrete.
The next clip was in Boston, where Jessica was beating eggs, but the egg beter flew out of her hands and landed in Claire's hair.
The final clip was in New York City, where Luke was riding his bike, but a low-hanging tree branch knocked him in the head, and he fell off.
Brian and Amanda were laughing hysterically, while Emilie forced a chuckle.
Josh had stopped sobbing, and faced the camera. "Well, uh, I think that wraps it up, huh?"
Amanda, Brian, and Emilie nodded, and Josh smiled.
He then signed off. "Alright! Stay tuned, viewers! Next time on the Aftermath we'll be interviewing another three contestants on their time on the show. So hang tight and be sure to catch up on every episode of Total. Drama. Stardom!"
Chapter 7: All's Fair in Love and the Shore
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our teens faced their biggest challenge yet in the Big Apple! Yep, we went to New York City for quite an exciting time. We hit it off with a subway race to Yankee Stadium, where the Stars made a pretty bad decision. But, nonetheless, they were safe, thanks to Niko's Niko-ness. The Credit Cards and the Cash Collectors got into a tie, and after Jessica and Luke duked it out — not literally — the Credit Cards won, and the Cash Collectors attended the Rest Stop Ceremony, where Emilie got booted! Sad, isn't it? But, hey, we've gotta move on! Thirteen peeps left as we head on into probably our worst episode yet, in terms of ratings. So grab a soda and watch this episode of Total. Drama. Stardom! Wait, w-w-where's my key chain?"
Mordecai had his head on Angie's shoulders.
Angie patted him on the back. "Aww, it's gonna be alright. She was okay with leaving, wasn't she?"
Mordecai said nothing, still in a deep depression.
From the opposite side of the RV, Luke couldn't stop chuckling.
Sydney lightly punched his arm. "Seriously? He's really hurt!"
"Oh, don't give me that trash," Luke said, narrowing his eyes at her. "You voted her off too, didn't you?"
"Because you told me to," Sydney replied, sticking her tongue out.
Luke: (confessional) Geez, Sydney's annoying. but I need her vote. Just until the merge. Which should be coming in another seven or so challenges... (frowns)
From the driver's seat, Caitlin wailed, "It's gone!"
"What is?" Brendon asked, curious.
"My key chain!!" Caitlin cried.
Brendon gasped. "Oh, no."
Caitlin continued sobbing. "I-I-I don't think I can handle organizing a challenge. Th-this is gonna be a... reward challenge!"
The entire RV groaned, except for Mordecai, who seemed to snap out of his depression.
Mordecai: (confessional) No elimination? Great, I don't have to worry about Luke's alliance getting me out of here now!
The RV stopped, and the teens all filed out.
"Where are we?" Mitchell wondered aloud.
Caitlin pulled out a map and pointed to New Jersey. "We're... there. Ish."
A group of tanned males, in their young twenties, passed by the teens wearing nothing but wife beaters, bermuda shorts, and flip-flops.
"Seaside Heights!" Valerie cheered.
"Ew, everyone here looks like they just got mobbed by Crayola," Luke frowned, glancing at a nearly-orange woman with excessive makeup.
Caitlin sobbed, "My key chain was nearly orange!"
"Get a hold of yourself! You're like, almost twice our age!" Ivy snapped.
Caitlin glared at Ivy, and made an "I'm watching you" motion.
She then cleared her throat and began, "Welcome to Seaside Heights, New Jersey! Here, you guys are gonna compete in a series of mini-challenges that a majority of the residents in this city do daily. Which is kinda freaky."
"I'm freaked out enough!" Timothy whined.
"Follow me to your first challenge site," Caitlin told them, motioning to the right. "The first team to win three challenges wins the reward!"
Caitlin stopped in front of a tanning salon.
Timothy immediately jumped backwards. "Artificial UV rays! Run away!!"
The other twelve teens stared at him, while Caitlin gestured to a room inside the tanning salon.
In the room were three inflatable pools, each beside a table which had approximately fifteen small containers on it.
"Uhhhhhhhhhhh... this looks.... interesting," Angie stated, glancing at the pools.
Caitlin explained, "Each team will select one member to be fully spray-tanned!"
Timothy jumped backwards once again, only he crashed into Angie.
He fell and landed on top of her, and quickly scrambled to his feet. "Oh, uh, sorry, Angie."
"No probs," Angie replied.
Claire whispered to Sydney, "He didn't even disinfect himself!"
Sydney whispered back, "I know, right? Something's up."
The scene switched to the teams debating about who would do the task.
Valerie pointed to Ivy. "You're doing it."
"What?! Why me?" Ivy protested.
Valerie motioned towards Niko and herself. "We're kinda already tan, and Timothy's not doing this if his life depended on it."
Ivy sighed, "Fine, orange me up."
Brendon eagerly jumped into the inflatable pool.
He asked, "Well, what're you waiting for? I can't tan myself."
He paused. "Or can I?"
Brendon grabbed a can and began to spray himself with it.
Sydney and Mordecai glanced at each other, not knowing what to do.
The Credit Cards were falling behind.
"We've got to choose someone," Claire warned.
"Fine, uh, Mitchell!" Jessica chose.
Mitchell's eyes widened. "No way! I'm already under four feet tall! I'll be mistaken for an Oompa-Loompa!"
"Just do it!" the rest of the team barked at him, as he reluctantly stepped into the inflatable pool.
Five minutes into spraying, Angie asked, "So, what are the pools for?"
Caitlin grinned. "This."
She flipped a switch on the wall, and sprinklers from the ceiling went off, partially washing off the spray-tanned contestants.
"Oh, come on!" Ivy groaned.
"Watching other people suffer soothes my mourning for that key chain," Caitlin chortled.
Despite the difficulty with the water, the contestants continued spraying.
Finally, the water shut off, as Caitlin pointed to the pool on the right. "Cash Collectors win the first challenge!"
Brendon jumped out of the pool, literally giving off an orange glow, and pumped his fist in the air.
"Whoa, there, tiger, that's challenge five," Caitlin laughed. "On to number two!"
Mitchell snickered as Caitlin said "number two", and Caitlin sighed, "Oh, grow up, oompa-loompa."
The rest of the teens burst into laughter, while Mitchell gasped in embarrassment.
The second challenge took place at the local gym.
A bunch of sweaty men and women were all shuffling around in the gym, not working out, just "sneaking peeks" at each other.
Jessica coughed, "It smells terrible in here!"
Caitlin had her nose plugged. "I know, right? Now, challenge two also requires one member from each team; and their task is to work out as long as possible."
Niko opened his mouth, but Valerie covered it. "Alright, you're doing it."
Ivy nodded in agreement, while Timothy was nowhere in sight.
Timothy: (confessional) That place was full of sweat! And heat! And more sweat! Disgusting.
"I think a guy should go," Angie suggested.
"Why? Are you trying to say that us girls aren't as strong as guys?" Jessica menacingly asked.
Angie shook her head. "No, because I don't want to do it, I know you don't want to do it, and Claire's... well, actually, Claire could do it."
Claire shrugged, but noticed Brandon, then awkwardly asked, "Uh, actually, I'm a little tired right now. I think we should get a guy to do it. Mitchell's out of the question, so, uh, Brandon?"
She smiled and batted her eyelashes, and Brandon smiled, "Sure! Um, alright!"
Sydney and Brendon tried to push Luke towards the barbells, but he wouldn't move.
"I don't sweat!" Luke snapped.
Mordecai rolled his eyes. "Everybody sweats, you moron."
"I refuse to. It's gross," Luke frowned.
From the entrance of the gym, Timothy shouted, "Agreed!"
Mordecai decided, "Fine, I'll go."
"Don't, you might twist your bony little arm," Luke teased.
Mordecai: (confessional, measuring circumference of his bicep) Seventeen and a half inches! That's like, twenty-six centimeters. Who the heck is he calling bony?
Luke: (confessional, pokes his head in) Fine. Your fat arm won't support anything.
Mordecai: (confessional, gasps, chases after Luke)
Mordecai, Brandon, and Niko all sat on three benches, with large barbells placed above them.
Brandon laughed weakly, "I, uh, do this daily! How hard can it be?"
Caitlin shrugged. "If you can lift 155 pounds over and over again, not very."
"One... fifty... five?!" Mordecai gasped.
"Be a man!" Luke ordered.
Caitlin snapped her fingers. "Go!"
The three boys all attempted to lift the barbells.
"C'mon! Push!" Ivy yelled. "Are you even trying?!"
"I won't comment on that," Valerie laughed.
Brandon panted, "This should be illegal!"
Jessica shouted, "No, it should be illegal to have these pencil-thin arms! Push harder!!"
Caitlin: (confessional) Oh, gosh, I might have to make this episode PG.
Brendon: (pokes head into Caitlin's confessional) It wasn't PG before?
Caitlin: (confessional, shoves Brendon out of the camera's view) Shoo!
Mordecai rested the barbell back up. "I'm done, this is insane."
"You are so lucky this is a reward challenge," Luke threatened.
"Hey... you're right," Mordecai grinned.
Mordecai: (confessional) With Emilie... gone... I pretty much have a huge target on my back. But thanks to these reward challenges, I might have a chance to get Sydney or Brendon off Luke's leash.
Claire kneeled down. "Alright, Brandon, just a little longer. Niko can't go on forever!"
Niko continued doing repititions with ease. "Uh, I sorta can, Claire."
Claire stuck his tongue out at him while Brandon rested the barbell back up.
"The Studded Stars win!" Caitlin smiled, her nose still plugged.
Niko hopped off the bench. "Whoop! 1-1-0!"
Valerie ran over and hugged Niko. "Yeah!"
The room suddenly went silent.
Valerie jumped backwards. "I mean, uh, good job, Niko!"
Valerie: (confessional) Oh my gosh, that was worse than wearing stripes with plaid. It just doesn't happen.
The teens exited the gym and walked next door to the salon.
"Who the heck puts a salon right next to a gym?" Angie questioned. "New Jersey is weird."
They entered, and, sure enough, there were three open chairs, all facing three mirrors, with counters full of gel, scissors, hairspray, and other items of that nature.
Caitlin pointed to the teens. "Pick two people; one to do hair and one to get their hair done!"
Angie eagerly raised her hand. "Oooh! Oooh! Me! I'm awesome at hair."
Claire pointed to Angie's hair. "Those split ends don't exactly prove your point."
"Hey!" Angie frowned.
"Just let her do it, she can't possibly be too bad," Brandon sighed.
Angie squealed. "Eeeeee! So, whose hair am I doing?"
Jessica felt her hair. "Hm. I could use a little renewal. I'll go."
Niko and Ivy pointed to Valerie. "Stylist."
"Aw, I'm flattered. Not really," Valerie snickered. "I guess I'll be doing... Timothy's hair?"
Timothy's eyes widened yet again. "No way! Nothing chemical is touching me!"
Caitlin tossed a roll of duct tape from hand to hand. "I'll get the front, you guys push."
"Wait, what?" Timothy asked, and was suddenly taped to a seat.
Sydney shrugged. "I guess Luke and I can go. I mean, we're the only ones who haven't done anything on our team yet."
Luke glared at her. "Who died and made you team captain?"
Sydney looked at him and replied, "Well, I'm just saying, it's only fair that we—"
"Well, life isn't fair!" Luke shouted.
"How does this relate to the topic?!" Sydney shouted back.
Luke folded his arms and faced away from the team. "I am not getting in that chair."
Sydney grabbed the roll of tape from Caitlin, and then, with Mordecai's help, taped Luke to the seat.
"Ohhhh, you and Mordecai are so out of here!" Luke warned.
Mordecai placed a piece of tape over Luke's mouth. "Much better."
Caitlin pointed to the hair stylists. "You guys will have to design the craziest hairstyle possible in ten minutes, on your victim— I mean, teammate!"
Jessica, Timothy and Luke all protested, Luke's voice being muffled by the tape.
"Time starts now!" Caitlin laughed.
Valerie spun Timothy around in his chair and whispered, "You're gonna love the way you'll look."
"Words can't describe how much I doubt that," Timothy replied.
Valerie began snipping and combing rapidly, with Timothy's protests being completely ignored.
Angie looked at Jessica's hair observantly.
Angie thought aloud, "Brown. Hm. Poop-colored, I like it."
"My hair isn't poop-colored!" Jessica angrily said. "It's a deep chocolate shade!"
"Yeah. It's called crap," Angie snickered, as she began spraying Jessica's hair with extra-hold hairspray.
Jessica: (confessional, coughing) Angie's so annoying! Gosh! But I still need an alliance. And you know what they say, "When at first you don't succeed, try and try again."
Sydney removed Luke's hat and gasped, "You have emo boy hair!"
Luke's hair flopped down and covered his eyes.
"Alriiiight, let's see what I can do here," Sydney sighed.
She grabbed a large bottle of gel and poured half of it on her left hand, then rubbed it all over Luke's scalp.
Caitlin called, "Time! Let's see what you guys came up with."
Jessica's hair was pulled back as tightly as possible, and looked frozen solid in the air.
Jessica whispered, "Kill. Me. Now."
"I like the concept," Caitlin nodded.
Angie beamed, "I was going for the windblown look. Only better."
Caitlin moved on to Timothy.
Timothy's hair eerily resembled Alejandro's, and Valerie was even trying to pierce his ears, but Niko and Ivy pulled her back.
Caitlin glanced at Timothy and commented, "He looks like that hot Mexican dude from last season. What was his name? Fernando?"
"Alejandro!" Valerie snapped.
Valerie: (confessional) I dunno, I guess I just have the hots for sexy Hispanic dudes. And there's one on our team... (blushes)
"Right. Well. Okay, then," Caitlin awkwardly said, walking over to Luke.
Luke's hair was in a mohawk, and hair gel dripped off of it.
A drop fell on the piece of tape covering Luke's mouth, and he grunted.
"So, how does he look?" Sydney grinned.
Caitlin held back her laughter and replied, "He... looks... great..."
Sydney pumped her fist in the air as Caitlin walked to the front of the salon.
"The winners of this challenge are..."
Sydney, Angie, and Valerie all crossed their fingers.
"The Credit Cards!"
Angie squealed as Sydney's confident smile faded.
Sydney: (confessional) Are you kidding me? Angie won? Alright. It's snooping time.
"What about our hair?" Timothy asked, nervously feeling around his scalp.
Caitlin ignored Timothy and lead the rest of the group out, except for him, Jessica, and Luke, who were giving each other terrified looks.
Caitlin led the teens into a one-story structure, filled with neon lights, bars, and twenty-year-olds with extremely revealing clothing.
"This place is full of (censored)," Mitchell muttered.
Jessica whacked him on the back of the head. "You can't talk about girls like that!"
Mitchell, annoyed, turned to her and folded his arms. "I can say whatever I want, whenever I want, no matter whoever it is! So stay out of it!"
Jessica gasped. "Oooh, you are gonna—"
"Please, calm down!" Caitlin chuckled, "You guys are gonna do great in this challenge, I can already tell."
"What is it?" Valerie impatiently asked.
Caitlin grinned, "Stage an argument, which quickly turns into a fight. Remember, I said stage. Most believable conflict wins this challenge! You'll need two members from each team. Start picking!"
Sydney and Brendon both shoved Mordecai and Luke up to Caitlin.
"Hey! Watch it!" Luke sneered.
Brendon shrugged. "It's our best bet. You and Mordecai fight like cats and dogs! Which are adorable, by the way."
Sydney nodded in agreement, while Mordecai and Luke sighed, "Fine."
"You can't limit my speech! Freedom of speech, first amendment!" Mitchell argued.
"We started out in Canada, you tree stump!" Jessica yelled back.
Brandon, Angie, and Claire looked at each other, and nodded.
Brandon suggested, "Why don't you two continue this argument... in the challenge?"
"Gladly!" Jessica and Mitchell said in unison.
They stomped over to Caitlin as the camera focused on the Stars.
Niko shrugged. "I dunno. I guess anything goes for this challenge. None of us really hate each other like people on the other teams."
Valerie: (confessional) Ivy destroyed my shirt in Boston! She's gonna pay. That was my favorite top!
"Ivy and I should go," Valerie nonchalantly suggested.
Ivy, slightly taken by surprise, asked, "And why is that?"
Valerie shrugged, then lied, "I dunno. Do we have any better ideas? Timothy's fixing his hair in the bathroom, so this is our only option right now..."
"Well, it's not like Niko's the friendliest guy around," Ivy argued, ignoring Niko's presence.
Valerie became defensive. "He's way friendlier than you, to say the least!"
Ivy: (confessional) I've got nothing against Niko. But Valerie... That girl creases me.
"Fine, then, let's go," Ivy decided. "We're gonna lose, anyways."
Caitlin stationed the three pairs in random locations within the club.
She shouted, "Go!"
Mordecai and Luke sat beside each other at a bar table.
"Your hair looks ridiculous," Mordecai commented, trying to start the tension.
"So does yours. Or whatever you want to call that carpet on your head," Luke insulted.
Mordecai frowned. "This isn't working."
Luke nodded. "Yeah. You suck at insults, so..."
"I suck at insults?" Mordecai scoffed. "You probably have all yours written down somewhere!"
Luke gasped. "Do not! At least I don't lie to myself saying that I'm a magician!"
Mordecai's eyes nearly doubled in size. "You did not just go there!"
He pounced on Luke, and the two punched and kicked while the bartender simply watched.
Ivy and Valerie stood by the entrance.
"What was up with that Niko business, huh?" Ivy asked, still angry.
Valerie looked away. "None of your business."
Ivy rolled her eyes. "Goodness, you're stubborn."
"I'm stubborn?" Valerie asked in surprise. "You're the one who thinks she's always right, when you're definitely not."
Ivy: (confessional, chanting) I'm not a violent person, I'm not a violent person, I'm not a violent person...
Ivy stuck her tongue out and folded her arms.
Valerie, still heated, hesitantly slapped Ivy in the cheek.
"Ow!! What's your damage?" Ivy shouted, and almost everyone in the room directed their attention towards her.
Valerie muttered, "It's a challenge, isn't it?"
"Right..." Ivy remembered, then shoved Valerie.
Valerie stumbled backwards and reminded, "She said stage a fight, not kill your teammate!"
Jessica and Mitchell continued arguing in front of the bathroom doors.
Mitchell leaned against the wall. "I really don't get why you're being such a feminist about this."
"I really don't get why you're trying to change the topic," Jessica said, narrowing her eyes.
Mitchell shrugged, "I'm not."
Jessica: (confessional) Ugh, I can't stand him, he's so annoying. And tiny. Annoyingly tiny.
Mitchell pointed to Mordecai and Luke who were attempting to strangle each other. "Hey, look, dogfight."
Jessica put her hands over her head. "Ugh, we're so losing this challenge."
Caitlin called the groups back, and required Sydney and Brendon to restrain Mordecai and Luke from pouncing on each other.
"I think the winners of this challenge are... obvious," Caitlin stated.
"You should say that slower, Caitlin," Mordecai sarcastically suggested. "Luke might not understand you."
The rest of the teens in the group howled, "Ooooooooh!"
Caitlin shook her head. "Kids today. Let's get going to our fifth — and possibly final — challenge!"
"Where is it?" Claire asked curiously.
Caitlin looked around. "Uhhhh, we can stay here, actually."
The contestants all looked at each other, confused.
"Your task is to select one contestant from each team to give me their best dance moves," Caitlin explained. "So, who's up?"
The Credit Cards awkwardly shuffled around.
Mitchell asked, "Sooo, anyone have decent moves?"
"Nope," the rest of the team said in unison.
Jessica's eyes suddenly perked up. "Wait a minute. Claire, you haven't done a single challenge today!"
"Hey, she's right!" Angie noticed.
Claire stepped backwards. "Alright, alright, I'll go, I guess..."
The Studded Stars played Rock, Paper, Scissors.
"Rock, paper, scissors, aaaaaaand... shoot!" the four shouted.
Everyone except Ivy made scissor symbols, while Ivy made a paper symbol.
"Two out of three?" Ivy nervously suggested.
".... Nah," Valerie and Niko laughed.
Brendon eagerly asked, "Can I go? Huh? Can I, can I, can I?"
"Alright, alright!!" Luke agreed, covering his ears. "Anything to get you to shut it!"
Brendon, Claire, and Ivy walked to the center of the dancefloor as Caitlin said, "Three, two, one, drop it like it's hot!"
"Please don't ever say that again," the bartender sighed.
Brendon started flailing his limbs crazily while Claire awkwardly shuffled around.
Ivy stood with her arms folded, frowning at Brendon.
Ivy: (confessional) That was probably the most horrifying thing I've seen all day. That even tops Luke's mohawk.
"Okay, okay, let's not put anyone through this torture for another second," Caitlin suggested.
Brendon stopped and whined, "But I was just getting started!"
"Believe me, it's for your own good," Ivy said.
"As horrific as Brendon's moves were, I've got to give him the win," Caitlin admitted.
The Cash Collectors cheered as Caitlin remembered, "And that makes The Cash Collectors the winners of the entire challenge!"
They cheered louder as The Credit Cards and Studded Stars glared at them.
"So, what do we win?" Sydney eagerly asked.
Caitlin gestured to the truck outside. "A month's supply of spray-tan bottles!"
Luke furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't think you need a truck to deliver a month-load."
"The average New Jersey resident does!" Caitlin snickered. "Now, back to the RV, tomorrow's gonna be a long day."
The contestants grumbled, and Caitlin signed off, "Still with our lucky thirteen! Will the Credit Cards crumble? Will the Studded Stars stumble? Will the Cash Collectors... well, their team's already pretty dysfunctional. But, stay tuned, and be sure to watch next week's episode of Total. Drama. Stardom!"
Chapter 8: Cam-pain Managers
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our teens visited Seaside Heights, New Jersey. There we went through some crazy challenges. It was just an episode full of bad tans, weight lifting, blowdryers, arguments, and terrible dancing! And the final result? The Collectors somehow managed to win the challenge. Who will get the dirty boot of shame next? Seriously, we're eliminating people again. So, tune into this exciting episode of Total. Drama. Stardom!"
Jessica sighed as she looked around the RV.
Jessica: (confessional) Still don't have an alliance. Do you realize how embarrassing this is?!
Jessica noticed Claire walk by and whispered, "Hey, hey Claire!"
"Hmmm?" Claire turned around.
Claire sat down beside Jessica.
Jessica said, "So, I was going to ask you something a couple of challenges ago, but never got around to it. Would you—"
"Like to be in an alliance?" Claire finished.
"How'd you know?" Jessica asked, surprised.
Claire shrugged. "Lucky guess! Haha. But, yeah, I'll join! I mean, it's not like there are any other alliances against us."
Mitchell nervously walked over to Brandon, who was reluctantly playing cards with Brendon, Luke, and Mordecai.
Mordecai asked, "Got any fives?"
Luke replied, "No. You have one, though. Look at your age!"
"That wasn't even close to funny!" Mordecai disapprovingly said.
Brandon noticed Mitchell and asked, "Hey, Mitch, wanna take my place?"
"Uhhh, no thanks, but, can I talk to you?" Mitchell asked, motioning over to another room in the RV.
"Um, sure," Brandon unsurely answered, walking away from the game.
Mitchell whispered, "Okay, so, I want to know if you could help me, er, get rid of Jessica. I just can't stand her anymore."
"I was gonna ask you the same thing!" Brandon gasped. "But, yeah, totally. She's out of here."
Mitchell grinned, but then quickly added, "But there's only two of us. We need another vote. Do you think Angie or Claire would vote with us?"
Brandon thought for a second, then nodded. "I think I can get Claire to vote with us."
Mitchell grinned again and walked off.
The RV made a very abrupt stop.
Angie and Sydney collapsed on top of each other.
Sydney shrieked, "Ugh! Get off!"
"You get off!" Angie snarled. "I know I'm hot, but, really?"
Sydney awkwardly looked at Angie, then sighed and walked away.
Brendon excitedly asked, "So, where are we this time?"
Caitlin stood before the contestants and announced, "Welcome to Washington D.C.!"
Luke: (confessional) I've been here before. It's just a bunch of people with wrinkles walking around in tight blazers.
Jessica: (confessional) Ehhh, I guess these challenge stops are getting a little better.
The contestants stepped out of the RV, where three large platforms were lined up.
On the opposite side of the platforms, a crowd of college students watched as the teenagers exited the RV.
"You're probably very confused right now," Caitlin said.
The contestants unsteadily nodded as Caitlin explained, "Each team will have to convince these forty college students to vote for your team to win the challenge. You'll have to literally campaign your platform to win this challenge. The team with the least amount of votes will have to send someone home tonight!"
Sydney: (confessional) I'm great at convincing people to do stuff. My mom originally hated the idea of me being on TV, but I persuaded her otherwise. All I needed was an embarassing picture and an internet connection!
Caitlin continued, "Some students are appealed to certain ideas or motives you might have. Talk it up! Start conversations. Anything to get votes will work!"
Ivy smirked, and repeated to herself, "Anything to get votes, huh? I have a few ideas..."
"You have two hours!" Caitlin concluded as she walked back into the RV. "Challenge starts now!"
The students all walked over to the contestants and began greeting them.
Angie smiled. "Hi! I'm Angie."
A female student smiled. "Hi there, Angie! What team are you on?"
Angie pointed to the grey platform. "The Credit Cards. We haven't lost a single challenge yet! And, I hope you can vote for us to keep that streak going!"
"We'll see," the student replied, making Angie frown.
Angie: (confessional) "We'll see" is just a code word for "no". Can't people just tell it like it is?
A group of students walked over to the Cash Collectors.
Luke and Mordecai walked over to the same student.
"I'm talking to him," Mordecai said.
"Yeah, right. You'll scare him away with that raggedy cape of yours," Luke sneered.
Mordecai bit his lower lip in frustration, then moved on to another student.
Mordecai: (confessional) As much as I want to punch him in the face, this is an elimination challenge. If we lose, I'm out of here. So, I'll put up with his crap until... the merge? (sighs)
Valerie scurried over to a female wearing glasses.
She panted, "Oh, my gosh, I have got to hook you up!"
"Come again?" the student asked, adjusting her glasses.
Valerie dug through her pockets and found a tube of ruby red lipstick. "Here."
Valerie began applying the lipstick, despite the student's protests.
"It tastes like toxins," the student complained.
"Don't taste it!" Valerie ordered.
Valerie then dug out a compact mirror from her back pocket and placed it before the student. "Alright, there. How do you like it?"
The student frowned. "I look like I just ate someone's brains out."
"You disgust me," Valerie scowled, walking away.
Timothy: (confessional) I wasn't too excited to start this challenge. I'm not very good with human to human contact, whether it's verbal, physical, emotional, mental— (confessional cuts off)
Timothy approached a student with an exceptionally large physique.
He tentatively asked, "Um, hello, how are you?"
The student glanced at Timothy, and laughed, "Are you talking to me?"
"Well, there's no one else around," Timothy pointed out.
The student growled, "Don't get smart with me! I can beat you into a pulp!"
Timothy folded his arms. "That's sort of impossible."
The student then shoved the cameraman out of the way and pounced on Timothy.
After "fixing up" another four female students, Valerie ran into the burly student.
The student growled, noticed that he had bumped into a girl, and apologized, "Oh, sorry. I just beat this dweeb up, so I'm kinda—"
"Wait, was the dweeb wearing soap on his belt?" Valerie interrupted.
"Uhhh, yeah," the student replied, then walked away.
Valerie mumbled, "Oh, Timothy, when will you learn?"
Valerie then found Timothy, with casts all over his body, and several bruises.
"Ugh... blergh... Victoria?" Timothy stuttered.
"Valerie," Valerie corrected, "And are you insane?! Picking fights? Seriously?"
Timothy mumbled, "I... uh... pulp... and camera-shoving..."
Valerie rolled her eyes and walked back to the crowd of students.
Niko walked over to a group of male students, with four female students trailing behind him.
One of the girls whispered, "Jenny, how tall do you think he is?"
Another girl, who was apparently Jenny, whispered back, "At least six feet!"
The group of girls giggled, then scurried off as Niko turned around.
Niko scratched his head, shrugged, then continued walking along.
Valerie, who was watching the entire time, stomped her foot in frustration.
Jessica stood on the side, attempting to start conversations with students, but being ignored.
She extended her hand out for a handshake. "Hi there! My name is..."
Her voice trailed off as the student walked away.
Jessica: (confessional) Okay, that's it. I'm done with being nice. Time to bust out the cold, hard cash.
Jessica noticed a male student approaching her vicinity.
Jessica fumbled through her pockets and "accidentally" dropped a small wad of money.
She pretended not to notice, and saw the male pick it up.
The student handed it to her. "I saw you drop this."
"Huh? That can't be mine," Jessica innocently replied, winking.
"I'm pretty sure it's yours," the student insisted, not catching the wink.
Jessica grimaced. "Listen, just take the money and vote for the Credit Cards, kay?"
The student shrugged and walked away.
Sydney aimlessly wandered among the crowd, thinking of how to get votes.
Sydney: (confessional) I'm good at convincing people, but, I need to know them beforehand. I can't just pop into a group of strangers and be like, "Hey, vote for me or I'll trash-talk you until you cry." Now, if it were like, Claire or someone that I kinda know, I could do that... (a light bulb appears above her head) ... How did this get here?
A student passed by Sydney, and Sydney walked alongside the student. "Hey! I'm Sydney, on the Cash Collectors. Green platform."
"Oh, hey, Sydney, I'm Dennis," he replied.
Sydney nodded. "Right. Well, you should totally vote for us. The other teams are just terrible. This Ivy girl, on the Studded Stars — that's the orange platform — is so cruel! She hates puppies! Would you really vote for someone with that cold of a soul?"
"Oh my!" Dennis gasped.
"So, are you gonna vote for us?" Sydney smiled.
Dennis nodded. "Oh, of course! Thanks for letting me know!"
Sydney gave a thumbs-up, then advanced to a different student to spread more rumors.
Brandon noticed every detail: Jessica's bribery, Valerie's "art", and Sydney's lies.
He stood up on the grey platform and cleared his throat. "Ahem!"
No one bothered to look up at him, and he tried again. "Ahem."
He received the same response, and finally, he shouted, "I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY."
Finally, all of the students and fellow contestants looked up at him.
Brandon: (confessional) I don't like people who cheat. Or lie. Or any other type of misleading behavior.
Brandon cleared his throat once again and began, "Out of the forty college students here in the crowd, at least twenty of you have been deceived!"
The crowd gasped, as Sydney and Jessica slowly inched away.
Brandon continued, "I'm a very honest person. And I play by the rules. So, when I see people "dropping" money in order to get votes, it sorta ticks me off! I mean, really, who does that? Someone who doesn't have the social skills to start up a decent conversation! And what's with all these rumors getting spread around? Ivy hating puppies? Jessica with hairy legs? Mordecai thinking that magic is fake? Are you really buying that? I'm just saying, it just makes sense to vote for someone who's doing the right thing. So, vote for me and my team, the Credit Cards. It's just the right thing to do!"
Brandon ended, and realized that many of the students and contestants had diverted their attention to something else.
Brandon: (confessional, pauses for about fifteen seconds, sighs)
He glumly walked off of the platform, where Claire stood.
Claire gave him a sympathetic smile. "Aw, don't be so mopey. I liked your speech."
"Really?" Brandon asked, smiling.
"Of course!" Claire replied.
Brandon suddenly remembered his promise to Mitchell. "Oh. Um, Claire, also, I was wondering if you could help me... vote off Jessica? If we lose? Which I know we won't, but, just in case, for future reference."
Claire froze. "Um...."
In the distance, Caitlin called, "Time's up!"
Claire: (confessional) Phew, saved by the bell!
Caitlin gathered the contestants and students and stated, "Time's up! College students, it's time to vote. Please stand on the platform of the team you'd like to vote for. Contestants, please stand behind the RV, so that the students can vote... not-so anonymously."
The contestants mumbled and walked behind the RV as the college students shuffled over to the platforms.
"Shocker," Caitlin commented as the students decided.
She announced, "The winners of the challenge, with sixteen votes, are..."
Behind the RV, every single contestant crossed their fingers.
"... the Studded Stars!"
The Studded Stars all gasped and cheered.
Timothy: (confessional, still bandaged up) We won a challenge! Wow! I might actually try to win this next challenge.
Caitlin continued, "And in second place, with thirteen votes..."
Luke and Mordecai glared at each other, muttering, "This was your fault! Don't blame me! Shut up! Argh!!"
"... the Cash Collectors!"
The Credit Cards sighed as all of the contestants walked back to the front of the RV.
"Credit Cards, you lost with ten votes," Caitlin frowned.
Brandon paused. "Wait, that only adds up to thirty-nine. Where's the last student?"
The large student who had beaten up Timothy awkwardly climbed up on the Credit Cards' platform and said, "I, uh, had some bathroom issues."
Angie whined, "This is all "we'll see" girl's fault!"
Jessica seized the opportunity. "Yes, yes it is. You know how we should get back at her?"
"No, how?" Angie asked, curious.
"Vote off her favorite contestant, Mitchell," Jessica grinned.
Angie thought for a second, then shrugged. "Guess that makes sense."
Jessica: (confessional, singing) I never thought it would be so simple but, I found a way! I found a waaaaay...
Claire: (confessional) Okay, so, I know I promised Jessica an alliance, but, Brandon's.... Brandon! I really don't know what to do...
The Rest Stop Ceremony took place at the parking lot of the Smithsonian.
Caitlin laughed, "Can you believe no one mentioned the White House at all? Oops."
Jessica rolled her eyes. "Just get on with it."
"Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh!" Caitlin mocked. "Alright. I have four candy bars. Contestant who does not receive a candy bar will be eliminated. Got it?"
Jessica glanced at Claire, who nodded, and Brandon then glanced at Claire, who nodded again.
"First candy bar goes to Claire!"
Claire, distracted, was hit in the head with the candy bar.
"Next candy bar goes to Brandon."
Brandon caught it, and it became a smushy mass in his hand. "Ewwwww."
"Oh, grow up," Caitlin sighed. "Next one goes to Angie."
Angie dodged the candy bar. "Nah, I'm not hungry."
Jessica and Mitchell glared at each other, as they snarled in unison, "You voted for me?!"
Caitlin nodded, "Yes, you did vote for each other. And this final candy bar goes to..."
Claire bit her nails nervously.
Brandon grinned at Mitchell.
Angie gave Jessica a thumbs-up.
Brandon and Mitchell stood up in shock. "WHAT?"
Caitlin simply stated, "The votes don't lie."
Brandon fumbled, "How, but, then, that means..."
Claire awkwardly looked away, pretending to file her nails.
"Time to go, Mitchell," Caitlin ordered.
Mitchell angrily grabbed his bags and walked away, giving Jessica an "I'm watching you" signal.
"And that ends our spicy eighth episode! This really heated things up! The teams are now totally even! Who will take the Motel Room Rental of Shame next? Will Mordecai stay out of the fire for another challenge? Will Valerie continue to deny her obvious attraction to Niko? Seriously, the girl's nearly drooling on him. Tune in next time to find out, only on Total. Drama. Stardom!"
Chapter 9: An Inside Scoop
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our three teams went to the capital of the United States, Washington D.C.! There, they had to get some college kids to give their team the win! Valerie's little beauty shop somehow helped her team get the win, along with Niko's smooth moves. Although, Brandon's little speech and Jessica's overall presence didn't exactly get the Cards many votes, sending them to elimination. In the end, it all came down to Claire, and she ended up betraying Brandon and voted off Mitchell! Wow! Even I didn't see that coming. Now, we move on to another state, another city, another zip code, and another drama-packed episode! This is definitely the most dramatic one yet, so don't miss this episode of Total. Drama Stardom!"
Niko shuffled a deck of cards, doing all types of tricks; spreading them out, the waterfall, the accordion, and many others.
Several contestants watched in awe, as Jessica indifferently looked away.
Jessica: (confessional) ... Show-off. Although, I couldn't care less about Niko at the moment. I've got an alliance to manage.
Claire frowned, looking out the window, while Brandon sighed, looking at her from the opposite end.
Sydney sat beside Brandon. "Sucks being the only one of your gender on your team, huh?"
Brandon nearly jumped four feet from his seat. "Ah! Oh, it's you. Uh, yeah, I guess."
"Yep, once Emilie left, I thought I was alone," Sydney remembered, as if it was years ago. "But now that I'm in an alliance, it's all good."
"Alliance?" Brandon asked, curious.
Sydney quickly covered her mouth. "Crap! Um, uh, well... this conversation never happened."
Brandon raised an eyebrow and watched as Sydney backed away.
At the driver's seat, Caitlin hummed the Total Drama theme song happily, even tapping her feet to the beat.
"Ugh, what are you so excited about?" Ivy snarled.
Caitlin grinned, "Just this challenge's location."
Luke rolled his eyes. "Where could we possibly be going that's so fun?"
Brendon's eyes widened. "Are we going to Disneyland?!"
Brendon: (confessional) I love Disneyland! Well, except for the big rat that always follows me around...
"Better than Disneyland!" Caitlin claimed.
Even Jessica was impressed. "Wow. I'm interested."
The RV stopped in front of a large skyscraper with glass windows, with Caitlin beaming as she exited.
The contestants filed out of the stood before the building.
Finally, Luke asked, "Alright, where the heck are we?"
Caitlin quickly ordered, "Okay, don't judge me for this, but..."
"Get on with it!" Ivy impatiently snapped.
Brendon whispered to Timothy, "What's wrong with her today?"
Timothy shrugged as Caitlin finished, "We're in the city of McLean, in the state of Virginia!"
"Oh, Caitlin, you're so selfless," Jessica remarked.
"Oh, ha-ha," Caitlin frowned. "But, I know you're gonna love this challenge."
Angie pointed to the skyscraper. "What's up with the huge building?"
"This building right here is USA Today headquarters!" Caitlin squealed.
"More like USA Tomorrow," Valerie commented. "This building looks so retro."
Caitlin nodded. "USA Today is one of the nation's most famous newspapers. Your challenge today is to get a juicy secret from one member of one of your opposing teams. Credit Cards need to get the goods on the Studded Stars, Studded Stars on the Cash Collectors, and the Cash Collectors on the Credit Cards."
Sydney: (confessional) Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! This is my challenge! I am so winning this! (grabs a Sherlock Holmes-esque hat from the RV's glove box) It's on!
Caitlin continued, "Get any secret from any member. You all have to choose a different member, though. So you can't like, all gang up on Luke."
"But, feel free to," Mordecai suggested to the Studded Stars.
Luke rolled his eyes and demanded, "Just start the challenge!"
"It's already started," Caitlin grinned. "Get back here in one hour, with your awesome inside story! The winning team gets an awesome reward this time around, and the losing team will face elimination along with a terrible consolation prize!"
Mordecai: (confessional) Ugh, what could be worse than having Luke on your team?!
"Get going!" Caitlin ordered. "You have 59 minutes left!!"
The Studded Stars met up beside the entrance of USA Today headquarters.
"Okay, Luke is mine," Ivy declared.
Niko protested, "Why do you get to—"
Valerie covered his mouth, then whispered, "Shhh. She's on edge today."
"I guess I'll pick Sydney, then," Niko shrugged.
Valerie shrieked, "I'll do Mordecai!"
From the RV, Mordecai's eyes widened.
"Timothy, I guess that leaves you with Brendon," Niko concluded.
Timothy was dragged out of USA Today headquarters by a large security guard.
"Ugh, third challenge in a row that some huge person has touched me," Timothy scowled.
'... Third?" Niko wondered.
"Well, yeah, didn't Valerie destroy my hair in New Jersey?" Timothy remembered, not realizing what he implied.
Valerie charged over to Timothy, who ran back into the RV. "Ahhhh!"
In the RV, the Cash Collectors were gathered in the far back end of it.
Sydney excitedly whispered, "I'll get the goods on Claire and her little alliance with Jessica."
"Claire has an alliance with Jessica?" Luke obliviously asked.
"I hear everything," Sydney gloated, then stalked off to find evidence.
Mordecai blinked. "Creepy. I guess I'll get the goods on Angie."
Luke nodded, "Good, I can get Jessica. She's probably got a cemetery full of skeletons in her closet."
Brendon gasped. "Did you two just indirectly agree on something?"
"What? No!" Luke and MOrdecai said in unison.
Brendon laughed, then froze. "Wait. That leaves me with Brandon?"
"Aren't you Brandon?" Luke asked, confused.
"No! I'm— never mind," Brendon muttered, as he walked out of the RV.
The Credit Cards were behind the RV, and whispered fiercely.
Jessica ordered, "Okay, I'm definitely getting Niko. He's too perfect. There's gotta be something wrong with him."
"Did you ever stop and think that people are just genuinely nice?" Brandon suggested.
"Did you ever stop and think at all? Jessica mimicked.
Brandon: (confessional) Ugh, I can't stand her. And I can't stand this challenge. I don't feel right just sneaking up on people. But, I have to, I mean, it's a challenge... maybe I'll just get Timothy. He's embarrassed himself on this show at least ten times already, one more time won't harm him.
Brandon folded his arms. "Um, I guess I'll get Timothy, then."
Angie obnoxiously slurped from a nearly empty milkshake and suggested, "I'll get Valerie."
"Guess that leaves me with Ivy!" Claire ended.
"Ooooooh," the rest of the team chanted.
Claire, confused, asked, "What?"
"Well, Ivy's kind of.... testy today," Angie pointed out.
"She'll probably rip your head off if you trash-talk her," Jessica nonchalantly stated. "But no biggie!"
Claire, mortified, ran off.
Timothy, in the RV's kitchen, had finished making his sugarless cookies.
Brandon peeked through the window and read the recipe on the counter. "'Sugarless cookies'? Is that even possible?"
He shrugged and watched as Timothy pulled the cookies out of the oven and set them on the table.
Valerie found him and shrieked, "Oh, now, you're gonna get it!!"
She pounced on him, and after several seconds of intense hair-pulling and yelling, Timothy kicked her out of the kitchen.
"Ugh," Timothy sighed, and then yelled, "If anyone wants something to eat, there's cookies in the kitchen!!"
However, Timothy was unaware that a few strands of he and Valerie's hair and fallen into the still-soft cookies, and slightly melted into it.
"Mmm-hmm," Brandon smiled, and he quickly walked away.
Claire walked into the RV, where Ivy was peering out the window, staring at Luke.
Claire: (confessional) Is Ivy crushing on Luke? ..... Ew, no, nevermind.
Ivy walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a cookie from the tray that Timothy had set out, and angrily took a bite out of it.
"She totally didn't make those cookies herself," Claire muttered to herself.
"Who. Said. That?!" Ivy shrieked, rampaging out of the kitchen.
Claire gasped and ran outside, while Ivy went back to the window.
"Looks like we've got a food klepto on our hands," Claire giggled.
"Oh, sorry," Brandon apologized.
"Oh, I'm okay," Claire assured.
Brandon bit his lower lip. "So, you voted for Mitchell, huh..."
Claire clenched her teeth. "Oh, um, yeah, about that—"
"It's fine, don't worry about it," Brandon sighed.
"You sure?" Claire asked.
Brandon halfheartedly smiled. "Sure. So, how's it going snooping on Ivy?"
Claire's face lit up. "Actually, I just finished. Wanna... go somewhere?"
"Like, where?" Brandon asked, interested.
"I dunno, let's just walk. And talk. For the next hour or so," Claire smiled, pointing to the street.
Sydney popped her head out of a bush and scribbled something on a notepad, then immediately hid again.
"Did you hear something?" Claire asked, turning around.
Brandon shrugged, and the two walked off.
Back in the RV, Angie walked over to the tray of cookies in the kitchen.
She looked around and asked, "Are these anyone's...?"
"SHUT UP. I can't concentrate," Ivy snapped.
"Touchy," Angie muttered, then grabbed a cookie from the tray.
She ate it, then realized she had crumbs all over her hands.
Mordecai walked into the RV, noticed Angie, and jumped behind a chair.
Angie looked for paper towels, and didn't find any.
She spotted Ivy's red jacket on a nearby chair and slowly wiped her hands on it, then scurried out of the RV.
Mordecai grinned, "I've got my evidence."
"SHUT UP!" Ivy repeated.
With only ten minutes left in the challenge, Brandon and Claire returned from their walk.
"Wow, it's pretty cold," Claire shivered.
"Oh, I'll go get your jacket in the RV," Brandon offered.
Claire smiled. "Thanks."
Brandon walked into the RV and bumped into Jessica. "Oh, hi."
"Um, hi?" Jessica uncaringly replied.
Brendon peeked over at them.
"Yeah, I was just... um... yeah," Brandon explained.
"Right," Jessica nodded. "Well, I um, have a challenge to finish. So, I'll be going now..."
Brandon nodded. "Oh, yeah, right. Of course."
Brandon: (confessional) That was probably the most awkward conversation I have ever had.
Caitlin screamed, "Time is up! Let's see what you guys have come up with!"
The teams lined up in front of Caitlin.
"Where'd you get that hat from?" Brendon asked Sydney.
"I keep my sources anonymous!" Sydney defended.
Caitlin pointed to the Credit Cards. "Alright, Cards, let's see what you've managed to come up with."
Brandon stepped forward. "Well, I know that Timothy put some of his hair in his sugarless cookies today!"
Angie and Ivy's eyes immediately widened, and they coughed up some hair. "Ewwwww..."
"What? That was an accident!" Timothy protested. "It's all Valerie's fault!"
"My fault? You're the one who called me a large... thing!" Valerie defended.
Caitlin blew her whistle. "I honestly couldn't care less. Jessica, your turn."
Jessica stepped forward. "Well, I couldn't really find anything bad about Niko, but... you should... watch out for him."
"Really? That's it?" Caitlin frowned, disappointed. "Alright. Angie?"
Angie shrugged. "Um.... Valerie has a weave!"
"Are you insane?!" Valerie shrieked. "Why is everyone against me today?!"
Caitlin chuckled. "Alright. Claire?"
Ivy growled at Claire as she stepped forward.
"Ummm, well, Ivy steals peoples' food!" Claire claimed.
"What? No, I don't!" Ivy shrieked.
Niko restrained Ivy from attacking Claire, as Caitlin nodded. "Alright, decent job, Credit Cards. Stars, you're up!"
"I'm going first," Ivy declared.
She stepped forward and eyed Luke. "Well. This Luke person has a little alliance going on between him, Sydney, and Brendon."
"Lies!" Luke shouted.
"SHUT UP. I'm not done," Ivy screamed. "He plans to eliminate everyone that he can until he gets to the semi-finals."
Mordecai yawned. "Tell me something I don't know."
"NO ONE ASKED YOU!" Ivy hollered.
Caitlin looked at the Studded Stars and mouthed, "Is she okay?"
Valerie shrugged and stepped forward. "Umm. Okay, so, I didn't really get anything good on Mordecai, but... I mean, look at him. That cape is a fashion disaster. But he wears it anyways! I mean, really? That's just suicide."
"I've been called worse," Mordecai shrugged.
"And I'm sure you're used to it," Luke snickered.
Mordecai rolled his eyes as Niko stepped forward. "Well, see, Sydney, um... doesn't ever wear a bra."
"And you know this how?" Caitlin asked, raising an eyebrow.
Niko folded his arms. "In-depth analysis."
Sydney's eyes widened, as Timothy was the final one to step forward.
Timothy scratched the back of his head. "I dunno. Brendon's dirty."
He stepped back as Caitlin awkwardly advanced to the Cash Collectors.
Luke began, "Alright. Well. Jessica... she's a total witch. She'll manipulate you all! So watch it."
Claire glanced at Jessica worriedly.
Jessica rolled her eyes and whispered, "Don't worry."
"Uhhhh, guess I'm up," Mordecai thought aloud.
"See, now, Angie's just disgusting," Mordecai began. "She just kinda cleans her hands on anything relatively clean."
Angie gasped, then muttered, "... Jerk."
Sydney jumped up with pride. "Alright. Now, Brandon and Claire have this thing going on. And they've like, totally made out in the back of the RV."
"Ewwwww," Timothy cringed.
"She's lying!!" Claire denied.
Caitlin gasped. "Woooooow!!"
Brendon stepped forward. "Okay, I, um—"
"There's no need, Brendon, I have decided!!" Caitlin declared.
"The Cash Collectors win!"
The Cash Collectors all high-fived, even Luke and Mordecai.
"That's the second time you've done that today," Brendon pointed out.
Sydney asked, "And the losers...?"
"The Studded Stars," Caitlin answered.
The Studded Stars all groaned, and Ivy's hands balled up into fists.
"Now, what were these awesome rewards and terrible consolation prizes?" Valerie suddenly remembered.
"Oh, right!" Caitlin remembered.
She pointed to the RV door. "Please welcome back one of your previous competitors, Brian!"
Ivy gasped, "What?"
Luke scratched his head. "Huh?"
Angie blinked. "Who?"
Brian stepped out of the RV. "Hey, guys!"
"Wait, you were there the whole time?" Valerie gasped.
"No, I was in USA Today headquarters, I snuck on once you guys started the challenge," Brian clarified.
Ivy tapped her foot. "So, what team is he going on?"
"Yours!" Caitlin beamed.
"What?" Ivy shrieked.
"Excuse me?!" Valerie gasped.
Sydney had her hands on her hips. "Wait, I thought the losing team got a bad prize, and the winning team got an awesome prize."
Caitlin pointed to Brian. "Yeah. The losing team gets Brian, the winning team doesn't."
"Oh, ha-ha," Brian sarcastically replied. "Can we just go to elimination?"
Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. Oh, by the way, Brian's safe for tonight."
Timothy and Ivy both stomped their feet at the same time. "Crap!"
The Rest Stop Ceremony began shortly after, and the five contestants lined up at a gas station.
"Alright, Studded Stars, this is, what, your third time here?" Caitlin taunted.
Ivy rolled her eyes, Timothy shuffled around, Valerie stuck out her tongue, Niko nervously bit his lip, and Brian folded his arms in satisfaction.
Caitlin threw the first candy bar at Brian. "Welcome back."
"Good to be back," Brian replied.
She threw the next one at Valerie. "You're safe, too."
Valerie caught it. "Nice!"
"Timothy, you're safe too!"
Caitlin threw the second-to-last candy bar at Timothy.
Timothy frowned. "Can't you use sugarless cookies instead?"
Caitlin looked at Ivy and Niko. "Alright, you two. It was a close vote, but, the final candy bar goes to..."
Ivy and Niko looked back and forth at each other.
Niko hopped out of his seat. "Hm. Well, we all have to go sometime, right?"
"What? No!" Valerie frowned. "This can't be right!"
Caitlin pulled her vote sheet out of her pocket. ".... Nope, it's right."
Valerie groaned as Niko walked down the street with his luggage.
Brian: (confessional) Well, you know, I had to vote Niko off. He's kinda perfect. And I need to go far this time!
"That ends our most exciting episode yet! Brian's back, Niko's gone, and it's just craziness from here on out! Tune in next time on another exciting episode of Total. Drama. Stardom!"
Chapter 10: Child's Play
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our three teams went to my favorite location so far, the town of McLean, Virginia. Narcissism? Maybe. Do I care? Not in the slightest. Anyways, McLean, Virginia is home of USA Today headquarters, and our teens went on a little snoop-fest to get the details on their fellow competitors! Ivy had a couple of.. issues... but I'm sure she's better now, right?"
Ivy rolled her eyes. "Sure, sure, whatever."
Caitlin continued, "Right. Well, yeah, the Cash Collectors won after Sydney definitely went all out, and caught Brandon and Claire red-handed! The Studded Stars lost, and as their consolation prize, they received Brian! Yep, that's right, our wannabe-Tyler is back. And he managed to get Niko booted off of the show! Will Valerie be able to live without him? Will Brian lead the Studded Stars out of the fires of elimination? Will the next challenge be awesome? My guesses, no, no, and yes. So, tune into our tenth episode of Total. Drama. Stardom!"
The Studded Stars walked into the RV after Niko's elimination.
Brendon and Brandon quickly raced over to them.
"Gah!" Timothy shrieked. "What's wrong with you two?!"
Brendon looked around. "Brandon and I had a bet..."
Brandon also looked through the Studded Stars. "... If this would be a fake elimination or not..."
"Niko's gooooooooooone!" Valerie wailed.
Brandon howled, "Wooooo! That'll be twenty dollars."
Brendon grumbled and reached into his pocket.
Valerie: (confessional, weeping) He's gooooooooooone!
"Ugh, will you shut up?" Ivy ordered. "You were annoying enough before, now you're just being ridiculous."
Valerie sobbed and walked into the bathroom.
Angie, who was brushing her teeth, walked into the sleeping area.
She spat out the foamy toothpaste on the floor and asked, "Hey, anyone wanna sleep next to me? It's kinda weird. Being alone. Not that I mind. Just... yeah."
No one replied, and Angie frowned. "Hello?"
Jessica groaned. "Fine! Whatever! Just shut up so we can get some rest!"
"Yay!" Angie cheered, hopping into her sleeping bag.
Valerie walked out of the bathroom with a roll of toilet paper, and sat down.
Luke noticed, and grunted, "What the heck are you doing?"
"I'm not sleeping!" Valerie declared.
Luke, clearly annoyed, told her, "Look. Just because your little boyfriend got eliminated—"
"He's not my boyfriend!" Valerie quickly interrupted.
Sydney sprang up. "Oh, don't start that crap with us."
Valerie took a small amount of toilet paper and wiped the tears off of her face. "Well, it's true, I mean, I don't know if he likes me or not."
Sydney stood up and walked beside her. "Then, why didn't you let him know once he got eliminated?"
"I.... I don't know," Valerie admitted. "I guess I'm just..."
"Afraid of rejection?" Sydney finished.
Valerie reluctantly nodded. "How'd you know?"
Sydney cracked her knuckles. "I'm totally updated on every relationship in my high school. I know when a girl's crushing on a guy, when a guy's too shy to ask a girl out, when—"
"I get it," Valerie cut in. "I guess it's too late, now, though."
Sydney smirked. "Not necessarily."
Valerie raised an eyebrow. "What do you me—"
She realized what Sydney was implying, then shook her head. "No, no, I'm not that desperate."
Sydney: (confessional) .... She so is.
"Well, it's your choice," Sydney concluded, as she slipped back into bed, leaving an indecisive Valerie sitting down, alone.
Caitlin blew her whistle. "Wake up!"
The contestants all gasped in surprise.
Sydney rolled around and moaned, "Ughhhhh, what's your problem? It's only 4AM."
"You should've taken Valerie's approach and stayed up with me," Caitlin said.
Valerie bounced in her seat. "Did you know that Caitlin makes a great iced latte? Because I do. She's great. Isn't she, isn't she, isn't she?!"
Caitlin patted Valerie on the shoulder. "Right."
Mordecai rubbed his eyes. "Why did you wake us up, again?"
"Challenge time, obviously," Caitlin indifferently told him.
The contestants all groaned and complained, while Caitlin yelled, "Shush! Now, walk outside."
The contestants' grogginess quickly vanished at the sight of the largest mansion in the United States of America.
"Whoa, that's bigger than mine," Ivy pointed out.
"Snow-off," Angie mumbled.
Caitlin pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and read, "Welcome to the Biltmore Estate, in Asheville, North Carolina! It's the largest mansion in the United States, I dunno about the world, since I didn't feel like looking it up. It's 175,000 square feet with over 250 rooms."
Jessica impatiently tapped her foot on the sidewalk. "And the challenge is?"
"I was getting to that!" Caitlin frustratedly snapped. "Your challenge is to play a heck of a game of Hide and Seek in here!"
The contestants remained silent, except for Luke, who shook his head. "Just when I thought these challenges were getting decent..."
Caitlin stuck her tongue out and continued, "You'll have ten minutes to hide anywhere inside the mansion. I'll come and find one contesant, and blow a whistle to let you guys know that the first person has been found. Then, that contestant will have to find a contestant on one of the opposing teams, and every contestant will just have to find others on different teams. Any questions?"
Ivy raised her hand. "Who's that?"
She pointed to a tall male with blonde hair nonchalantly leaning against the gate of the Biltmore Estate's entrance.
"Oh!" Caitlin remembered. "This is... what's your name again?"
The male looked up and shrugged.
Caitlin blinked. "Right. Well, he was stranded on the highway, and I decided to keep him on the RV as an intern for our challenges. So, actually, he'll be looking for the first contestant, not me. Right, uh, you?"
The intern shrugged.
"Okay, I need a name for you," Caitlin sighed. "How about... Curmi?"
The contestants giggled, as Caitlin turned around. "It's an acronym! Currently Unnamed Re-occuring Male Intern."
Curmi: (confessional, sighs, then shakes his head)
Caitlin and Curmi opened the gates.
Caitlin pointed inside. "Get going!"
The contestants all dashed inside, except for Valerie, who slowly walked in.
Mordecai looked down a hallway and was taken aback by the many doors that were on its sides.
He opened one and looked inside, where the walls were covered in candy.
"Um. I like this room," Mordecai grinned, walking in.
Angie opened a door and found the bathroom, which included a pool-sized bathtub, four urinals, three toilets individually separated with golden stalls, and six sinks lined side-by-side on the opposite end of the door.
She lifted her arm, sniffed, then shrugged.
Brian ran to nearly the opposite end of the mansion and opened a door, where the indoor gym lay vacant.
He gasped. "O. M. G."
Brian: (confessional, hyperventilates)
He immediately dashed to a treadmill a turned it on.
Ten minutes later, Curmi walked into the Biltmore Estate, and Valerie stood right in front of him.
Valerie noticed him and feigned frustration. "Oh, no, you've found me!"
Curmi looked at her suspiciously.
"It's such a shame being the first person caught!" Valerie continued.
Curmi rolled his eyes and blew on a whistle.
Valerie frowned. "I have to find someone now, right..."
Curmi walked outside, while Valerie nodded. "Uh-huh."
"Anyone out there?" Valerie shouted.
"No," Brendon replied, in a nearby room.
Valerie almost headed in the opposite direction. "Oh, wait..."
She opened a door, where she saw Brendon surrounded by stuffed animals.
She blankly stared at him, while he threw a stuffed rabbit at her. "Out!"
Brendon and Valerie walked threw hallways, opening any door in sight.
"How many doors have we opened?" Valerie groaned.
Brendon slammed a door shut. "... Twenty-three."
Valerie frowned and opened another door. "Ugh. Hey, Sydney."
She shut the door, then quickly opened it again. "Sydney! Sydney! Sydney!"
"Hm, what?" Sydney asked. "I'm just reading these magazines. Did you know that 11 in every 12 celebrities have had plastic surgery at least once in their life?"
Valerie, slightly disturbed, pulled Sydney out of the room. "Let's get a move on, there's only three of us here, and I need to get to bed."
They continued searching the mansion.
Sydney opened the door to a bathroom, where Angie sat in the steaming hot bathtub, filled with bubbles.
She walked in hesitantly. "Angie..."
Angie shrieked. "Out! Out! Out!"
"Yeah, you're out of the challenge," Valerie snidely added.
Angie pointed to the opposite side of the bathroom, where a pile of clothes lay. "Um, well, err..."
Sydney's eyes widened. "Oh, um, I'll just leave..."
Valerie, Brendon, Sydney, and Angie (who was wearing a towel) stalked the hallway until they reached the end.
"A dead end? What the turnip?!" Brendon complained.
Valerie whispered to Sydney, "... Turnip?"
Angie groaned, "Ugh, this hallway is huge. It'll take so long to get back to the other end."
She kicked the wall in frustration, and it opened up, revealing a shortcut path to the other side of the mansion.
"Ooooh, a mysterious pathway triggered by an accidental motion! Let's go in!" Valerie grinned.
Valerie: (confessional) I've always wanted to be in a scary movie! They're so cool. Except there's always that one girl who trips and gets caught...
As if right on cue, Sydney tripped over the carpeting and accidentally pulled down Angie's towel.
"Give me that!!" Angie shrieked, snatching the towel back.
Brendon: (confessional) Did anyone notice that I've seen all of these girls' chests within the past six challenges?
At the end of the strange pathway, the group ran into Luke, in a room covered wall-to-wall with comic book pages.
"This isn't what it looks like," Luke immediately defended.
Angie read one of the pages pasted along the regal wallpaper. "'Robin-man and the Bat.' Sounds intense."
Luke pointed to her towel in confusion. "Why is she almost naked?"
Angie rolled her eyes. "Goodness, you act like you've never seen a half-naked girl before."
"Ummm..." Luke muttered.
The girls all awkwardly glanced at each other.
Brendon broke the silence. "Let's keep going, shall we?"
The group of five continued, but Luke halted. "Wait."
Valerie stopped and turned around, annoyed. "Ugh, what?" <br? "Does this mean that Mordecai is our only chance of winning?!?" Luke asked in desperation.
Sydney rolled her eyes. "You do have a brain."
Luke sneered and folded his arms. "I can easily get you voted off instead, y'know."
"You idiot, it'd be a tie," Sydney calculated. "Let's just find someone on the other—"
She slammed her forehead on a low ceiling and yelped, "(censored)!"
Brendon caught her before she could hit the floor, while Luke chuckled, "Karma's a b—"
Luke slammed his forehead on an even lower ceiling. "Crap!!!"
"Where the heck are we?" Valerie asked.
Suddenly, the floor disappeared from underneath them, and they fell into the indoor gym, where Brian was still running on a treadmill.
Brian panted, "Hey guys!! I've been running for thirty minutes now, which is like, twenty miles."
Valerie walked up to him and read from the treadmill's counter. "You're right. Y'know, if like, the decimal point was in front."
Brian squeaked, "What?"
He looked at the treadmill counter and slammed his hand on it, increasing the speed to 25 miles per hour, sending Brian flying across the room. "Ahhh!"
Brendon, carrying Sydney on his right arm, caught Brian with his left. "Gosh, you're heavy."
"I drink protein shakes daily!" Brian whined.
Brendon narrowed his eyes.
"Fine, weekly," Brian admitted.
Brendon continued to narrow his eyes.
".... Bi-weekly," Brian faltered.
"There we go," Brendon nodded. "Now, on to the next one!"
The six of them exited the gym and immediately fell through a trap door.
Valerie: (confessional) I'm not sure if this is a haunted house death trap kinda thing, but it's really getting predictable.
They landed in a pile, outside of the front door.
"What the heck?!" Luke roared. "This is insane!"
Sydney stomped her foot. "Ugh. Alright, I have an idea."
"You think?" Luke sarcastically gasped.
"You're hilarious, y'know that?" Sydney grumbled. "Now, we should all split up. We don't need to find the others in a group. Once you find someone, just head right back here. Sound good?"
Valerie nodded, "That's great and all, except we're on different teams."
Sydney shrugged. "Then may the best contestant win!"
And with that, the six of them rushed back into the mansion to retrieve the other six.
Valerie headed up a staircase, and warily looked through a large lounge room.
Behind an arched doorway, Brandon held his breath, trying to avoid capture.
"Anyone here?" Valerie whispered.
Brandon resisted the urge to reply "No", and stood close to the wall.
Valerie frowned and walked away.
Brandon, relieved, also walked away, but tripped over a recliner.
Valerie spun around and pointed to him. "Gotcha!"
"Aw, man," Brandon sighed.
Brian ran up the stairs all the way to the top floor.
Panting, he looked around, where one door stood, alone.
Although hesitant, he opened the door, which contained nothing.
He looked in and shouted, "Echooooo! Haha!"
Behind him, a voice whined, "Hey, I was gonna do that!"
"Holy crap!" Brian yelled, turning around. "Who's there? Don't hurt me!"
Claire walked around from behind the door and giggled, "Did I scare you?"
Brian held his hand to his chest. "Well, the fact that my heart is beating at about 500 times per minute might give you a hint."
In the ground-level floor, Luke peeked into random rooms.
He walked into a bathroom, and nonchalantly whistled.
He kicked open a stall, and the door unhinged, falling on the toilet.
Luke: (confessional) .... I have always wanted to do that.
Giving a final scan around the bathroom, Luke shrugged, and began to head out the door.
While opening the door, he heard a sneeze coming from underneath a sink.
"Alright, whoever's here, just come out now," Luke warned.
The hidden contestant sneezed again, and Luke walked over to the sink. "... Timothy, just get out."
Timothy hopped out from underneath the sink, then shuddered. "Ugh. It was rusty. And dusty. And musty. And—"
"Guess what? I don't really care," Luke snidely butted in. "Let's just get out of here so I can get some rest."
Sydney walked into the kitchen, sneakily ducking behind chairs and tables.
She crawled over to the refrigerator and opened it. "Anyone inside?"
Brendon walked into the kitchen. "Do you really think someone's inside the fridge?"
"You never know!" Sydney said, scanning the potatoes.
"Right," Brendon nodded. "Hm, my stuffed rabbit is dusty."
He walked over to the kitchen sink, along with a roll of paper towels.
He turned on the hot water, and received a shriek in the lower cabinets.
"HAUNTED HOUSE!" Brendon shrieked, running out of the kitchen in fear.
Sydney, slightly afraid, shouted, "You get back in the kitchen right now!!"
Brendon was already out of the mansion by the time she finished the sentence, therefore, Sydney investigated the cabinet alone.
"He-he-hello?" she shakily asked.
Jessica emerged from the cabinet. "That pipe leaks!"
"Oh, it was only you!!" Sydney cheered, running over to Jessica.
Jessica frowned. "I'm not going to lie and say that I'm as excited to see you too."
Angie, still in her towel, randomly opening doors.
Angie: (confessional) So, I'm in a towel, at 4AM, alone in a mansion with eleven other teenagers... is anyone else... interested? (winks)
She opened another door and grinned. "Aha! Found you!"
"Yeah, so, whatever, just eat!!" Mordecai grinned, pointing to the candy surrounding the room.
"... Are you okay, bro?" Angie asked.
Mordecai pointed around to the walls. "I dunno. Maybe. Why don't you try it, huh, huh, huh?"
Another whistle from the front door was heard, and the contestants filed out of the mansion.
The eleven contestants, including Ivy, stood in front of the Biltmore Estate gates.
"Where were you?" Luke asked, annoyed.
"..... Hiding behind the front door," Ivy laughed.
Caitlin walked out of the RV, with Curmi directly behind her. "Nothing beats the classics."
"So, what's gonna go down?" Angie asked.
Caitlin began, "Well— wait, where are your clothes?"
Angie impatiently tapped her foot. "It doesn't matter where my clothes are!"
"Right," Caitlin unsteadily continued. "It appears that the Studded Stars have won, and the Credit Cards have lost!"
The two teams simultaneously cheered and groaned, while the Cash Collectors shrugged in indifference.
"Credit Cards, you know what's going on," Caitlin grinned.
Jessica rolled her eyes. "Right, right, whatever..."
Angie, Brandon, Claire, and Jessica were all sitting on the extravagant fountain in front of the Biltmore Estate gates.
Caitlin stood before them, holding three candy bars. "Alright, you guys."
Brandon glanced at Claire, who shrugged.
Jessica and Angie worriedly looked at each other, while Curmi watched from a considerable distance.
"The first candy bar goes to Brandon," Caitlin began.
She tossed it too far, and it landed in the fountain.
She disregarded it and continued, "Angie."
Angie caught the candy bar and stuffed it inside her towel, between her breasts.
"That's just not right," Caitlin muttered. "Anyways, Claire, Jessica, I only have one candy bar left. The final one goes to..."
She sighed, "No one."
"Huh?" Claire and Jessica asked in unison.
"There's a tie in the votes," Caitlin pointed out. "Two and two."
She then pointed to the RV, where the other teams walked out. "So, the other teams will be deciding who stays and who goes!"
Claire and Jessica muttered, "Uh-oh."
Caitlin then instructed, "Cash Collectors, Studded Stars, stand behind the contestant you would like to stay in the game."
Within seconds, the final result was decided.
"And the loser, with only three votes to stay in the game is Jessica!"
Jessica stomped angrily. "This isn't the last of me!"
She turned around and saw that Luke, Brendon, and Sydney were the only contestants who supported her; the rest supported Claire.
Claire: (confessional) I've decided, it's just better to stay true to your heart, and not some threatening chick, which is why Brandon and I voted her off. And I guess that backstabbing witch voted me off with Angie...
Jessica struggled rolling away her six pieces of luggage, occasionally dropping one bag. "Ugh!"
Caitlin signed off, "And our stuck-up drama queen is out of here! The Credit Cards are down to three! Will they survive to the merge? Will the other teams try to wipe them out? Will I stop asking redudant questions? Find out next time, on Total. Drama. Stardom!"
Chapter 11: Life's a Peach
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our three teams were dropped off at the Biltmore Estate for a heck of a game of Hide and Seek. Valerie's craziness over Niko's elimination got her out first in the challenge, and after an obstacle course-like series of events, Ivy was the sole survivor! The Credit Cards lost, again, and after a weird tie in the votes, Jessica got eliminated. Now, it's time for another episode of Total. Drama. Stardom!"
Ivy gathered the rest of her team around a table.
She lowered her voice. 'Okay. Look. We're currently doing the best right now."
"Really?" Timothy gasped. "But we've been to like, four eliminations already."
Ivy ignored him. "So, we have to keep our streak up. We can't fall behind. Right?"
Valerie mumbled, while Brian picked his nose.
Ivy raised her voice. "Right?!"
"Oh, sure, whatever," Brian muttered.
Timothy nodded quickly, and Ivy smiled in satisfaction. The Credit Cards, now down to a measly three contestants, gathered together in the confessional.
Claire: (confessional, next to Angie and Brandon) The fact that we can all fit here amazes me...
Angie: (confessional, slurps soda)
Brandon: (confessional, breathing heavily) Ooookay, okay, okay... we can do this. Right? All we have to do is win the next challenge. Not even - come in second! (Angie continues slurping while Claire shrugs) Uhhhh...
Luke: (pokes head into confessional) Once you end your little strategy-fest, can you get out?!
The Credit Cards stumbled out of the confessional and landed on Caitlin.
She accidentally slammed on the gas and sped into a tree. "Crap!"
The contestants all rushed outside in surprise, where the front end of the RV was completely totaled.
Caitlin groaned. "Great. That's just great. Now we'll have to spend all the money that we've saved so far on repairing the RV!"
"And how much money is that?" Timothy asked out of curiosity.
Caitlin counted on her fingers. "Barely over three hundred dollars."
Brendon asked, "Is that... good?"
Caitlin glanced at him in annoyance. "No, it's not. Repairing this damage is about five hundred dollars!"
Angie's eyes widened. "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!! We could have a challenge that raises the money to get the RV fixed up!"
"That's a great idea, except, I don't know where we are!!" Caitlin roared.
Ivy cleared her throat and pointed to a sign behind Caitlin, which read, "Welcome to Charleston, South Carolina! Known for peaches, iodine, and more."
Caitlin blushed, "Oh... right. Well, I can't organize a challenge!"
"Just think something up!" Claire snapped.
"Why are you guys so eager for a challenge?" Caitlin suspiciously asked.
The Credit Cards awkwardly avoided the question, as Brandon suggested, "Let's just repeat a previous challenge. Do you know which episode got the best feedback?"
Caitlin thought for a second and replied, "Yes, yes I do. I think it was the cooking challenge in Boston."
Luke muttered, "That episode only got high ratings because of Valerie and Sydney's jugs flying all over the place."
"Who's complaining?" Brian snickered, receiving an angry glare from Ivy.
Claire smiled. "Great. We can just do that again. Look, there's a restaurant right over there."
"Restaurant owners can't just give away their restaurant," Caitlin sighed. "You have to plan weeks ahead of time."
Curmi paused and walked over to the restaurant.
After a few minutes, he walked back out and gave a thumbs-up.
"Okay, then," Caitlin corrected. "Let's go!"
The contestants walked in, where three baskets of peaches were placed on a center table.
In the back, three kitchen stations were prepared.
Caitlin walked in front of the group with a hat. "What's up?"
"Umm, right," Luke replied.
Caitlin pointed to the hat. "One person from each team needs to walk up here and pick an ingredient from the hat. That ingredient must somehow be incorporated into your dish. Oh, right, your dish needs to contain peaches, too, no matter what. This is one of the top three states that export peaches."
Luke scurried over to the hat. "Team captain, my choice! None of you fools are picking a ridiculous ingredient. Because then we'll lose, and Mordecai will go all drama-queen on us and make some long speech about crap no one wants to hear about."
The rest of the Cash Collectors looked at each other awkwardly.
Luke: (confessional) Okay, I might have overreacted just a bit.
He snatched a piece of paper from the hat and read, "Almonds. What the heck?"
Caitlin shrugged as Brandon walked up. He selected a piece of paper and read, "Ice cream. Hm."
He walked back as Ivy selected, "At least one-fourth a cup of sugar."
Caitlin scoffed, "Oh, you guys got the easy one."
"Sugar? That's... not very healthy," Timothy frowned.
Caitlin pointed back to the kitchen stations. "You have an hour and a half to make your dish and serve it to the twenty people that just got kicked out of this restaurant! The people, Curmi, and I will all pick our favorite dish. The team with the least votes gets eliminated. Also, you'll have to serve the guests yourselves, so you have to pick your most friendly competitor to hand out the dishes to everyone. Capiche?"
Brendon: (confessional) I've always wanted to be a waiter. It just looks awesome to carry, like, seven plates on your arm! Y'know, until some five-year-old bumps into you and there's cake all over some old lady's dress.
"Go!" Caitlin ordered, as the contestants dashed behind her.
The Stars gathered around their station while Ivy asked, "Alright, what are we doing?"
Valerie bit her lip, then suggested, "Let's try melting sugar."
Timothy looked away. "Sounds unhealthy."
"Sugar doesn't melt, you idiot," Ivy sighed.
"Let's just try it!" Valerie ordered.
Ivy gasped in shock at Valerie's volume.
Ivy: (confessional) No one gets voice-raise-y with me!
Valerie emptied half a cup of sugar into a pan and placed it on the stove, and Timothy turned the stove on to "HIGH".
As they waited, Brian blankly asked, "So, what can I do?"
Ivy suggested, "Go boil some water."
"Got it!" Brian grinned, and ran off.
"What do we need boiled water for?" Timothy asked.
Ivy shook her head. "No reason; just to get that idiot out of here."
The Cash Collectors all thought long and hard about what dish to make.
After a few minutes, Mordecai grumbled, "Urgh, Luke, couldn't you have picked something like salt? Geez."
"Oh, please," Luke ignored. "As if you could pick something better."
Mordecai scoffed. "Of course I could! We'd probably already be cooking if you didn't pick such a suckish ingredient!"
"Guys, calm down!" Sydney ordered. "We need to just get this food going. How about a fruit salad?"
Brendon, slightly confused, asked, "With almonds?"
Sydney snapped, "Do any of you three have any better ideas?!"
Mordecai hesitated, then gave in. "Fine. I'll get the fruit."
The Credit Cards thought for about two seconds, and Brandon gasped, "Banana split! Only with peaches instead."
Angie and Claire both grinned. "I like it."
Brandon grabbed the ice cream from the freezer, and Angie pulled two peaches out of the baskets.
Angie placed the peaches on top of the ice cream bucket. "We're done, right?"
"..... No," Claire replied. "We need to take out the ice cream, put it in a bowl, slice the peaches, and put a bunch of toppings on it."
Angie frowned, "That sounds like a lot of work."
"It is," Brandon nodded. "And we need twenty-two of them, so let's start!"
The Studded Stars had finished melting the sugar, which created a sticky syrup.
"Ooooooh," Valerie grinned. "Looks good."
Ivy had her hands on her hips. "And what are we supposed to do with this?"
Timothy suggested, "We could slice the peaches and dip them in the syrup. But that sounds too messy."
"It's better than nothing!" Valerie decided, and began slicing peaches into eighths.
Ivy began to drizzle the syrup over the peaches until they had finally finished plating a dish.
"One down, twenty-two to go," Timothy reminded.
The Cash Collectors were busy chopping up as many fruit as they could find.
Sydney was slicing pears, Brendon was chopping peaches, Mordecai was dicing apples, while Luke peeled oranges.
Finally, they finished and randomly mixed the fruit together, and tossed almonds into the mix.
Sydney looked at the end result. "Looks... decent."
Luke furrowed his eyebrows. "It looks like a rainbow just soiled itself."
"Do you wanna win or not?" Sydney encouraged, and resumed slicing pears.
Mordecai also quickly turned back to his apples.
Mordecai: (confessional, chanting) Just win the challenge, just win the challenge, just win the challenge...
The Credit Cards had sliced up a countless amount of peaches, with twenty different plates of ice cream in front of them, along with nuts, chocolate syrup, and cherries.
Claire began, "Ready."
Brandon smiled at her and continued, "Set..."
"Go!" Angie finished, and the three of them began wildly placing the ingredients in.
They shoved peaches into ice cream scoops, sprinkled nuts everywhere; chocolate syrup shot out of every angle, and cherries were thrown around crazily.
Finally, the three of them backed away, and revealed twenty "peach-split" sundaes.
"Oh, crap, we need two more," Brandon noticed, then grumbled to get more ingredients.
The contestants finished, and Caitlin walked into the kitchen.
She quickly glanced at the dishes and nodded, "Nice. Now, send out your friendliest teammate to hand out the dishes to the customers."
Sydney, Mordecai, and Luke all pointed to Brendon. "You're up."
Brendon blushed, "Aw, well, I'm flattered."
"I'll go," Brandon and Claire said at the same time.
"Oh, no, it's fine," Brandon insisted. "You can do it."
Claire quickly shook her head. "No, no. You're way friendlier."
Angie rolled her eyes. "Ugh, if you guys don't decide soon, I'll do it."
Brandon and Claire looked at each other, and Angie quickly took back her statement. "Wait, no, no!"
Ivy pointed to herself. "Obviously, I'm the best people-person on this team. The rest of you are idiots."
Valerie scoffed, "Yeah, right. We're all either as smart or smarter than you. So calm down!"
"Yeah, calm down!" Timothy echoed.
Brian returned with the boiled water and asked, "What do I do with this?"
Ivy quickly smiled. "Point proven."
Angie grabbed two plates and walked into the dining area, where the many customers, along with Caitlin and Curmi, sat, waiting.
She placed the two plates in front of a married couple.
She smiled, "Hi! Enjoy!"
Angie turned around and quickly gasped.
Angie: (confessional, feeling around her hair) Where's my hair clip?!
The woman who had just received a dish removed a metallic pin from her ice cream, with had several blonde hairs attached to it.
Angie laughed hesitantly. "Right. Just... eat."
She grabbed her hair pin and quickly ran back to the kitchen.
Brendon had bowls upon bowls stacked in each hand and placed them on every table possible.
As he placed them, he quickly said, "Hi, I'm Brendon, this is a fruit salad. Bye!"
He reached Caitlin and Curmi's table. "Hi!"
Curmi blinked, while Caitlin nodded. "Hi. What do you have for us today...?"
"Well, we have a fruit salad peach-apple-pear-orange mix with almonds," Brendon told her.
Caitlin looked in her bowl. "Almonds in a fruit salad?"
"I know, right?" Brendon sighed. "Sydney's idea. But, enjoy!"
He continued distributing his bowls as Curmi and Caitlin took a bite.
She spit out the almonds. "Ew! It tastes like stones in applesauce..."
Curmi shrugged and continued eating.
Caitlin: (confessional) Oh, he's a weird one...
Ivy held her plates of syrup-covered peaches in both hands.
She immediately walked over to Caitlin and Curmi. "Hi."
"So, what do you have for us?" Caitlin asked, curiously peering at the plate.
Ivy set the plates down and described, "Well, we have sliced peaches drizzled in a warm syrup, made out of melted sugar."
Caitlin cringed. "Sounds unhealthy."
From the kitchen, Timothy shouted, "Told you so!"
Ivy, annoyed, replied, "Well, I guess, if you're anorex—"
Caitlin's eyes widened as Ivy finished, "An exciting person!"
A random female customer whispered, "Nice save."
Caitlin, now finished with all three dishes, stood up and announced, "Alright. Contestants, please go back into the kitchen. Customers, under your seats, there is a small slip with three different boxes to check off. You can only check off one. The box that you check off represents which dish you thought was the best. Clear?"
The customers nodded and checked off a box, then put the slips in a stack on Caitlin's table.
She and Curmi shuffled through the papers.
Caitlin picked up a paper and frowned, annoyed. "Someone checked off all three."
An incredibly overweight man who was exiting the restaurant blushed. "They were all really good! I couldn't decide..."
Caitlin shrugged. "No matter, we have a consensus!"
The contestants walked back out to the dining area where Caitlin had the results in her hands.
She read, "The winners, with a total of eleven votes, is..."
The contestants all nervously shut their eyes in hopes of winning.
"The Credit Cards!"
Angie tackled Brandon and Claire in joy, sending the two tumbling into a counter.
"And the runner-ups for the challenge are the Studded Stars!"
Luke glared at Sydney. "This is all your fault!"
"Did you have any better ideas?!" Sydney shouted back.
"No, but, still, you could've been less suckish!" Luke angrily yelled.
The two glared at each other angrily while Brendon awkwardly walked away from in between the two.
Caitlin shrugged. "Looks like you guys will be facing elimination tonight, for the first time since New York!"
At the Rest Stop Ceremony, Caitlin flipped through the money.
She counted, "498, 499.... 500!"
Brendon gasped, "We're good to go?!"
Caitlin nodded. "Yep! Ready to keep on truckin'. Well, except for one of you four."
She grabbed the candy bars and threw one to Brendon. "You're safe."
She threw another one at Luke. "You too, Mr. Grumpers."
"That sounds like a child's TV show character," Luke remarked, dodging the candy bar.
Caitlin scoffed, "If you guys aren't gonna eat these, I'll just stop buying them."
She looked at Sydney, then to Mordecai. "Sydney, Mordecai, I only have one candy bar left. The contestant who does not receive this candy bar must.... go. And stuff."
Sydney: (confessional) I have come too far to go now.
Mordecai: (confessional) If I can slip through this elimination, I'm safe 'til the merge...
"The final candy bar goes to..."
Sydney crossed her fingers, while Mordecai shut his eyes.
Mordecai gasped. ".... Aw, man. Well. I guess I had a... good time?"
Luke sneered, "Just get out of my sight."
"Okay, look," Mordecai said, turning to Luke. "You're probably the most evil, annoying, selfish, inconsiderate, manipulative, backstabbing, hypocritical, wannabe-mean, lazy (censored) I have ever met! And you can take your little alliance to the final three if you want. All I know if that what goes around comes around, and you're gonna get hit by it, hard."
Luke held back his anger by rolling his eyes. "Get to steppin'!"
Caitlin laughed, impressed. "Wow. Mordecai, do you think you'll regret what you just did?"
"No, why?" Mordecai replied, walking away with his suitcases.
"I mean, this is a reward challenge," Caitlin grinned.
Mordecai's face lit up. "Seriously?!"
"Although, I'm not sure if you'll last long after that little comment," Caitlin shrugged, pointing to Luke.
The Cash Collectors walked back into the RV as Caitlin signed off. "Still at our top eleven. Will Mordecai regret his little outburst? Will Sydney finally betray Luke? Will the Credit Cards survive with only three members? Find out next time, only on Total. Drama Stardom!"
Chapter 12: Celebrity Manhunt's Exclusive Second Aftermath
The aftermath theme song played in the background as Josh beamed, “Welcome to the second ever Total Drama Stardom Aftermath!”
He pointed to his left, where Amanda and Emilie sat in the Peanut Gallery of Shame. “As you can see, we’ve got our two former aftermath guests in the peanut gallery with us. Please give a warm welcome to Amanda and Emilie!”
The audience clapped again, as Josh introduced, “Guess what? We’ve got a new addition to the aftermath. If you look at your armrests, there are two small buttons, one that reads ‘A’, one that reads ‘B’. Throughout the aftermath, polls will be taken, answering a couple of questions that will be answered by you, the audience members, along with our peanut gallery!”
Josh noticed that some of the audience was still confused, so he pointed up to the TV screen, and asked, “Is this a good addition to the aftermath?”
Right away, the screen read the question at the top, along with two choices, “A. Yes” and “B. No”.
“Quickly!” Josh ordered, “Pick a choice!”
The audience – as well as Amanda and Emilie – all hit a button, and the screen quickly read, “A. Yes – 99 votes”, and “B. No – 1 vote”.
Josh narrowed his eyes and asked, “Who said ‘no’?”
Amanda giggled and squealed. “It totally wasn’t me… okay, it was!”
A member of the audience gave a pitiful chuckle, while the entire studio stayed quiet.
Josh scratched his head and read a small index card. “Now, as you loyal viewers have seen, five drama-packed episodes have passed, and three sorry saps have been eliminated! Let’s talk with our first ousted contestant, Mitchell!”
Mitchell walked into the aftermath studio, angry as usual.
He sat down on the couch and Josh greeted, “Mitchell! What’s up? How’s it been since your elimination?”
“Terrible,” Mitchell muttered. “I totally would’ve won if Claire decided to be reasonable!”
Josh laughed. “Huh. Right.”
“I would’ve!” Mitchell defended. “And that idiot Jessica would’ve gone instead of me.”
Josh whispered, “She’s backstage hearing all of this, you know.”
Mitchell froze, then waved to the camera and mouthed, “Hi, Jessica!”
Josh got back on topic. “But, still, you wouldn’t have lasted to the merge.”
“Yes, I would!” Mitchell argued.
“No, you wouldn’t!”
“Yes, I would!”
“No, you wouldn’t!”
The audience and the peanut gallery watched the two argue like an intense tennis match, as Josh decided, “Fine, we’ll take a poll!”
He pointed to the TV screen and said, “Would Mitchell have won the game if Jessica got eliminated instead of him?”
After a few seconds of voting, the screen displayed, “A. Yes – 8 votes” and “B. No – 92 votes”.
“Told you so!” Josh grinned, satisfied.
Mitchell flipped off the audience, who gasped.
Suddenly, the TV screen flickered, and Josh squealed. “Feed time, feed time, feed time!”
Chris had the camera in his hands, and he smiled, “Welcome back to Total Drama Help-Us-Get-The-Heck-Off-Of-Hawaii!”
He turned around and pointed to the contestants who were split into two groups. “Last episode, we established our teams, the Screaming SOS’s and the Killer Survivors.”
Chef snatched the camera away and mumbled, “Kid’s gone crazy. He still thinks he’s hostin’ a show!”
Chris snatched it back. “After one quick challenge, the Screaming SOS’s are going to elimination!! And after a non-existent vote, Beth has been voted off!”
Beth threw her shattered glasses at Chris, who dodged them and signed off, “Tune in next time only on Total Drama—“
Chris dropped the camera, and the feed was lost.
Josh blinked. “Well. That was… interesting.”
He shrugged it off aand continued, “Next up is this season’s Alejandro — only nice! He’s known as Mr. Perfect and has girls everywhere fall for him, literally! Please give a warm welcome to Niko!”
Niko walked out, and the female members of the audience shrieked, “We love you, Niko!”
Amanda fainted on Emilie’s lap, who seemed disgusted.
Niko sat down. “What’s up, Josh?”
“I’m supposed to ask ‘’you’’ that, Niko,” Josh frowned.
Niko stuttered, “Oh, um, yeah, right, sorry.”
Josh grinned, “I’m just messin’ with you! Alright, Niko, how’s it feel to get kicked off the show, by ‘’Jessica’’?”
From backstage, Jessica shouted, “I can still hear you!”
Niko shrugged it off. “No biggie. Sure, it’d be nice to stay on the show, but, hey, you win some, you lose some.”
Josh laughed, “You definitely won some. You’re a chick magnet!”
“Oh, please, as if,” Niko denied.
Josh looked annoyed. “Modesty can only go so far. Dude, you had a posse of girls following you around in Washington D.C.! Not to mention the girls on the show! Do you… ‘’fancy’’ any of ‘em?”
Josh winked as Niko shook his head. “Nope, not at all.”
Josh raised an eyebrow. “I had a feeling you’d say that. Let’s see if you can prove it with a game of Truth or Hammer!”
The Truth or Hammer theme played as Niko gulped.
Josh cracked his knuckles and cleared his throat. “The game’s simple. Just tell the truth, and you’re fine. But, if you lie, the hammer might just knock you out of your seat.”
Niko nodded as Josh began, “Have you ever been attracted to… Amanda?”
Amanda fainted once again as Niko answered, “Nope.”
The hammer stayed dormant.
Josh continued, “… Angie?”
“I don’t really like blondes,” Niko admitted.
Niko shook his head.
Emilie gave Niko a deathly glare as he quickly responded, “Um, no.”
Niko scoffed. “I don’t like her as a friend, an aquaintance, a person, just, no.”
“Wow, you’re fiesty,” Josh laughed. “Jessica?”
From backstage, Jessica fainted as Niko said, “Nope.”
Josh began to grow impatient. “Sydney?”
Niko once again shook his head.
Josh frowned. “Alright, this is the last one. Valerie?”
Niko hesitated, then answered, “…. No.”
The hammer swung and sent Niko flying across the aftermath studio and into the audience, where a mob of teenage girls swarmed him.
“Oh, ho, ho!” Josh chuckled. “Niko and Valerie, sittin’ in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”
He finished laughing then paused. “Hm. Niko’s little hammer incident reminds me; it’s time for That’s Gonna Leave a Mark!”
The theme played in the background as the TV flickered.
In Washington D.C., one of the college students who was voting for the Cash Collectors fell off of the platform and onto Caitlin, who fell on another college student.
During the game of hide-and-seek, Brian slammed open a door which Claire was hiding behind, and the door hit her on the forehead.
Sydney, while spying on Brandon and Claire, jumped too far back into the bush, and ended up falling off of a low cliff.
During the dancing challenge in New Jersey, Brendon’s wild dancing accidentally punched one guy in the stomach, kicked Ivy’s leg, and spilled one girl’s drink all over herself.
Josh laughed hysterically at the contestants’ misfortune, and he quickly resumed, “Right, right. Um, okay, now, let’s bring out our final guest. She made an alliance, she got betrayed by an alliance, and now she’s here for some defiance! Here’s Jessica!”
Jessica walked out and bowed. “Thank you, thank you.”
Josh whispered, “Jessica, no one’s clapping.”
“Shut up!” Jessica sneered.
She sat down on the interviewee couch.
Josh asked, “So, how does it feel to be eliminated?”
Jessica rolled her eyes. “Can we talk about something else?”
“Nope!” Josh answered. “Now, let’s see, why did you get eliminated?”
Jessica clenched her fists. “Since Claire decided to get all backstab-y and vote me off! Me!”
“Well, you voted ‘’her’’ off, too,” Jossh pointed out.
Jessica crossed her legs and pouted. “Brandon was distracting her. I tried to ‘’help’’ her. And she just votes me off! What the heck?!”
Josh shook his head. “Jessica, Jessica, Jessica. See, when a girl and a guy like each other, they—“ <br Jessica’s eyes widened. “No, no, no! I’ve had this talk already!”
She put her hands over her ears. “La-la-la-la-la-la-la! I can’t hear you! La-la-la…”
Josh removed her hands from her ears. “This isn’t that kind of talk.”
“Then, what is it?” Jessica asked, unsure.
“When a guy and a girl like each other, they do whatever it takes to stay together,” Josh explained. “Whether it means they have to vote out an alliance member or try to get ‘’theirself’’ eliminated, they’ll do it.”
The audience, in unison, sympathized, “Awwww.”
Jessica rolled her eyes, and the TV screen flickered again.
Chris came into view, and he smiled, “Welcome back to Total Drama—“
“Shut up!” Chef growled. “You ain’t a host no mo’.”
Chris ran away, then ran into Blaineley, who had healed from her injuries.
Blaineley was noticably walking around without makeup, and Chris cringed.
She snapped, “What? What is it?!”
Chris hesitated, “It’s just… you look like my mom.”
Blaineley’s eyes widened, and she jumped on Chris.
Suddenly, the feed was lost.
Josh shook his head. “Oh, Blaineley… she forgot to bring her emergency makeup kit, didn’t she?”
Jessica ignored Josh and stated, “Although, I should totally still be on the show… “
Josh suddenly received a message in his earpiece.
“Ooooh, spicy…” he commented.
Jessica quickly asked, “What, what, what is it?”
Josh chuckled, “One of you five will actually be returning to the show!”
The audience, along with the peanut gallery, gasped.
“Yep!” Josh smiled. “And it’s up to the viewers!”
He looked over to the peanut gallery. “You guys will all have twenty seconds to plead your case to America, saying why you deserve to go back on TDS!”
Amanda rushed center stage, and Josh looked at his watch. “Twenty seconds, go!”
She looked straight to the camera and said, “Staring contest!”
She blinked immediately and sighed. “Aw, you won. Well, in order to make me feel better about myself, you should get me back on the show. It’s only fair.”
The audience frowned, as Amanda skipped back to her seat.
Josh looked at her strangely, then at the camera. “If, for whatever reason, you want Amanda back on the show, text TDS1 to STARDOM! Voting closes at midnight!”
Next was Emilie. She approached the center.
“Well, I think I should return, since I was voted off solely because of Luke’s spitefulness.”
The audience murmured in agreement.
She continued, “Also, Mordecai’s nearly hopeless on that show without me.”
After a short pause, she added, “I’m done, y’know.”
Josh snapped out of his trance-like state. “Oh! Right. Text TDS2 to STARDOM if you want Emilie back on the show!”
Mitchell stood in front of the camera.
He began, “I think I—“
Mitchell whispered, “Can you point the camera a little lower?”
The cameraman snickered and focused it on Mitchell.
He continued, “I should go back on the sho—“
Josh shoved him out of the way. “Time’s up! Text TDS3 to STARDOM if you want Mitchell to return!”
Niko, now with a cast and crutches, hobbled over to the camera.
Niko stated, “I shouuld go back on the show, to… comfort Valerie?”
“She doesn’t deserve you!” a female audience member shouted, throwing a shoe at him.
He dodged the shoe and frowned. “Fine! Get me back on the show so I can get back at Ivy and Brian for voting me off!”
Josh walked over to him. “I’d shove you, too, but that’d just be mean.”
Niko smiled, “Aww, you’re so—“
Josh kicked Niko out of the camera’s view and said, “Text TDS4 to STARDOM to see Niko back in action!”
Jessica stood up and stated, “I’m basically Ms. Ratings Booster.”
The audience laughed hysterically, and Jessica fumed, “I am! The show is terrible without me!”
Josh received a piece of paper and corrected, “Actually, the South Carolina episode received the most viewers so far. That’s the one after your elimination.”
Jessica’s eyes widened, and she ran up to the camera. “Listen. I’ve got to go back on! The rest of these losers got eliminated in single-digit episodes for a reason!”
Josh shoved her out of the way and concluded, “And if you want Jessica back in the game, text TDS5 to STARDOM!”
Josh then finished, “And there we have it. Second aftermath! Tune in to the next few episodes of Total Drama Stardom to see who returns, who goes home, and much more!”
Chapter 13: Flowriders
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, we wound up repeating a previous challenge after some weirdoes on the Credit Cards made me crash into a tree! And we lost all of our money. Great. The cooking challenge was full of the anger and frustration that we all love, and it ended up making the Cash Collectors lose. After Mordecai got the boot in a three to one vote, and totally exploded on Luke! But, he was actually safe, so now, he's pretty much screwed! With only eleven contestants left, check out this episode of Total. Drama. Stardom!"
The morning after the previous elimination ceremony, Mordecai sat across the table from the rest of his team in horror.
Luke glared at him menacingly, mouthing, "You're next. Again."
Valerie: (confessional) Poor Mordecai. I feel bad. I'm still thinking about what Sydney said, and... well, I think I oughta do it.
Mordecai: (confessional, hesitantly eats chips) I have one last option. It's a stretch, though.
Luke stood up to go to the bathroom.
As soon as he was out of Mordecai's sight, Mordecai desperately whispered, "Sydney! Brendon! C'mon, you have got to ditch him!"
"What's the difference?" Sydney shrugged. "I personally don't care who I end up in the final three with."
Mordecai raised an eyebrow. "Final three? I'm more concerned about now. Please!"
Sydney shook her head, while Brendon frowned.
Mordecai pleaded, "Alright, Brendon? Will you?"
"I... I just don't think it's right," Brendon muttered.
"Well, it wasn't right to vote off Emilie, wasn't it?" Mordecai pointed out. "So, ditching Luke isn't much of an issue."
Brendon pursed his lips. "I'll think about it."
Angie, Claire, and Brandon were on nearly the opposite end of the RV, cheering.
"I can't believe we did it!" Claire cheered. "The three of us rock. Mitchell and Jessica were totally just slowing us down."
"Amen, sister!" Brandon replied. "We've got this game in the bag."
Angie nodded. "Yeah. But, y'know, until the teams split and everything..."
Claire's expression fell, but then Brandon suggested, "We can still stay in an alliance, though."
"I dunno," Angie replied, uncomfortable.
Brandon grinned, "C'mon! We can be the ABC alliance; Angie, Brandon, Claire!"
Claire gave in. "I can't argue with that offer."
Angie also did. "That name is too cool to resist."
"Awesome," Brandon smiled.
Timothy sat a considerable distance from Ivy, Valerie, and Brian.
Mordecai passed by them and gasped, "You're allying against Timothy? Geez, who's next, Angie?"
"Huh, what?" Ivy asked, confused. "No, Timothy's just being an idiot."
Timothy cringed, "Brian's sweaty."
Brian rolled his eyes. "Can't a dude just sweat and not be criticized?"
"Can I at least clean you with a towlette?" Timothy asked in desperation.
Brian backed away. "I don't want a dude rubbing my body!"
Valerie laughed as the RV made a sharp turn, and the contestants were thrown against the left wall.
Caitlin stumbled out of the RV. "Whoo!"
Angie and Brendon both walked out of the RV, leaning against each other, throwing up.
"Are you insane?" Ivy shrieked, nearly collapsing on the vomit.
A random male with board shorts ran past Ivy and sang, "Insane in the membrane, dude!"
His friend beside him gasped, "Whoa, cool story, bro."
Timothy frowned. "Where are we?"
"Welcome to Key West, Florida!" Caitlin grinned. "Home to my Aunt Christina!"
"Your family really loves the letter 'C', don't they?" Luke pointed out.
Caitlin shot a look at him, then added, "But, she won't be featured today. Let's just jump into the challenge, shall we?"
Caitlin guided the eleven teens down to the shore, where three windsurfing boards awaited.
She pointed to them and asked, "Anyone know what those are?"
"Mini-boats?" Angie asked, picking a scab.
Caitlin cringed and corrected, "No, they're windsurfing... boards... I don't exactly know the word."
Ivy sneered. "Professional."
"Shut it, knive-y," Caitlin muttered. "Anyways, this challenge is a windsurfing relay race."
"Windsurfing...?" Mordecai asked. "What if you don't know how to windsurf?"
Caitlin, annoyed, said, "All you have to do is hang on and tilt. Pretty simple."
Mordecai frowned, then sulked behind his team.
Caitlin continued, "So. There's one here, one at the 50-meter mark, and another at the 100-meter mark. That means there'll only be three people competing. So, Collectors, Stars, one person will have to sit out! Who'll it be?"
Valerie, Brian, and Ivy all simultaneously said, "Timothy."
"I'll sit out," Mordecai suggested.
"No way, you slacker," Luke ordered. "I'm sitting out."
Sydney looked at Luke suspiciously, then shook her head. "Whatever, Luke, it doesn't matter, we're winning either way."
Sydney: (confessional) I'm getting tired of Luke. Then again, I'm getting tired of everyone. I'm even getting tired of myself and these confessionals.
Valerie: (confessional, sniffs) It smells like desperation in here.
Brandon, Brendon, and Brian both stood by their boards.
Caitlin glanced at them. "Brandon, Brendon and Brian. Try saying that five times fast..."
Brendon opened his mouth, but Brian covered it. "Let's... not do that."
"Get ready!" Caitlin called, from the other end of the shore. "Remember, you have two other teammates waiting on buoys at the 50-meter and 100-meter marks. Trade places with them and swim back to shore. All set?"
"Ready!" Brandon affirmed.
"Let's go!" Brian smiled.
Caitlin looked over to Brendon, who was chanting, "Brandon-Brendon-Brian, Brandon-Brendon-Brian, Brandon-Brendabriaaaa-- DANGIT!"
"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Caitlin nodded. "Go!"
The three boys took off, side-by-side, their sails flying in the wind.
"I've never done this before," Brandon remarked.
Brian wobbled on his board, before replying, "Neither have I!"
Caitlin clicked on her megaphone and addressed, "Oh, you guys, there might be one or two, err, obstacles."
Brandon nervously asked, "Such as...?"
"Pffft, nothing big," Caitlin assured.
A few bubbles rose and Brendon wondered, "What made that?"
"Probably one of the underwater mines," Caitlin thought aloud.
As if on cue, another mine exploded, sending the three boys flying back to the shore.
Caitlin laughed, "This might be harder than you originally thought."
Brian: (confessional) Underwater mines? Is that even legal?
Curmi: (confessional, pokes head inside, leaves a piece of paper in Brian's hand)
Brian: (confessional, reading) "Yes, it is actually legal." Thanks, Curmi. (frowns)
"Hurry it up, will ya?" Sydney shouted, from her buoy.
The boys sailed through, quickly turning to avoid the underwater mines.
"I'm trying, sheesh!" Brendon shouted back.
A seagull flew overhead and screeched, distracting Brian.
Brian, paranoid, panicked. "Is that seagull laughing at me?"
"Shut up and hurry!" Valerie ordered.
The seagull screeched again and swooped past Brian, snatching his headband.
Brian's eyes widened. "Hey!"
Distracted, an underwater mine went off, sending him flying back to the shore, again.
Timothy shrieked. "Salt water! Get it off! Ah!"
"Oh, shut up," Luke ordered.
Brandon and Brendon reached their buoys and switched with Angie and Sydney.
The girls sped towards the next marking while Valerie remained, fuming.
Valerie yelled, "Brian, you're so going home if we lose!"
Valerie: (confessional) I'm not the mean type. I'm really not. But, I mean, you understand my position. Right? Besides, I'm in heels. My toes were totally blistering on there.
Sydney and Angie continued on, and as they did so, a local Floridian also surfed by beside them.
"Hey, ladies," he greeted.
The girls gasped and simultaneously replied, "Oh, um, uh, er, hi!"
"You're really shredding it out here. I'm Logan," he continued.
Sydney: (confessional, dazily) Logan...
Angie shrieked, "Shark!"
Logan laughed, "There aren't any sharks around here."
Within milliseconds, the shark swallowed Logan whole, not leaving a single trace of him behind.
Sydney and Angie's eyes doubled in size as they frantically hurried on to the next buoy, panicking.
Brian finally arrived beside Valerie, sighing. "Long ride."
Valerie snapped, "No kidding. Move it! We're so far behind!"
She shoved him off the board and continued on, trying to make up for the Studded Stars' deficit.
Angie and Sydney continued windsurfing side-by-side.
Sydney: (confessional) It's not that I don't like Angie. But, I don't... really... get her. She's okay, just not the kind of girl you'd want to be BFF's with.
Angie: (confessional, picking nails) Sydney's weird. (bites nails and crosses legs)
From a few meters behind, Valerie desperately called, "Slow down! I'm not losing this!"
An underwater mine exploded behind Valerie, sending her flying towards Angie and Sydney.
"Flying teenage girl at 6 o'clock!" Luke warned from the shore.
Angie and Sydney turned around and shrieked, until all that was seen was just a big splash.
A few scattered gasps followed until Valerie surfaced beside Ivy and yelled, "Go, go, go!"
Ivy hopped on the board and began to windsurf back to the shore.
Mordecai shouted, "Sydney! Are you alive?"
Sydney surfaced and angrily replied, "Yes. Thanks for your 'oh-so-polite' concern."
Angie surfaced beside her and giggled, "Hey, Sydney, do you know why ocean water is so salty?"
"Because of all the dissolved chemicals," Sydney answered.
Angie frowned. "Um... yeah. Right."
The girls got on their boards and surfed towards Mordecai and Claire, then traded places.
"Go, go, go!" Timothy cheered, now standing away from what he called the "splash-area."
Ivy, approaching the shore, cheered. "First!"
Timothy, Brian, and Valerie celebrated, as Ivy asked, "So, how do you stop this thing?"
Caitlin shrugged. "I dunno."
"What?" Ivy shrieked, as she board sped into the shore, lodging itself in the sand, and sending her flying into Luke.
The two fell on top of each other, behind a beach umbrella.
"Get off of me, you're gross!" the two simultaneously said.
They paused, then both added, "That was weird. No, ew. Stop doing that. Shut up!"
"Awww, that's so cute!" Valerie giggled.
"You are so lucky we aren't going to elimination," Ivy threatened.
Mordecai whispered, "Pssst, Claire."
Mordecai: (confessional, with wand) C'mon, magic, come through for me.
Claire mindlessly turned her head. "Hmmm...?"
"Uhhh, would you mind throwing the challenge for me?" Mordecai desperately asked.
"As if!" Claire laughed. "There's only three of us left, and if I lose this for us, I'm gone."
Mordecai frowned, then realized, "Wait, what are you talking about? Brandon would never vote you off."
Claire pursed her lips. "Yeah, you're right..."
Mordecai grinned, and seconds after, Claire kicked him off of his board.
"What the heck?" Mordecai gasped, soaked.
"I thought I saw a bug on your... chest..." Claire lied.
Claire: (confessional) I'm a nice girl! I just like trying new things. Like roundhouse kicking people on the other team.
Claire reached the shore and hopped off her board, cheering. "Woo!"
Brandon grinned. "That's my girl!"
Mordecai swam to the shore and nervously chuckled.
Brendon frowned. "We lost."
"What was your first clue?" Luke said, steamed. "Whatever, tonight's elimination won't exactly be a shocker."
Caitlin walked over to the teens and concluded, "The Studded Stars win! The Credit Cards are in that middle-ground area, and The Cash Collectors, well, I'll be seeing you at tonight's elimination."
In the RV, Mordecai nervously twiddled his thumbs, awaiting the elimination ceremony.
Sydney walked by, and he whispered, "Syd! Over here, shh."
"What do you want?" Sydney angrily asked.
"Well, I mean, obviously, your not-so-secret alliance with Luke is gonna vote me off," Mordecai began.
Sydney nodded, and said, "Yeah. What of it?"
Mordecai continued, "Well, I mean, once I get eliminated, if you guys lose again, who do you think Luke is gonna gun for? Brendon, who's oblivious to pretty much everything, or you, who gets on his nerves 24/7?"
"Hey!" Sydney growled, offended. Then, with sudden realization, frowned. "Oh..."
"So. Are you willing to vote him off with me?" Mordecai asked, hopefully.
Sydney probed through his plan. "It'll just wind up in a tie. What then?"
Mordecai grimaced, them remembered, "Well, last season with Gwen and Courtney, there was a tiebreaker challenge, right? I can beat him."
Sydney furrowed her eyebrows as Caitlin announced, "Alright, Cash Collectors, let's get this show on the road."
Caitlin looked at the four teenagers and began, "Alright. You've been here before. There are four of you. I only have three candy bars."
Luke snickered, "Those aren't candy bars, those are puddles of chocolate."
"Hush up!" Caitlin ordered. "The contestant who does not receive a candy bar... blah, blah, blah, other words. Brendon!"
Brendon caught his candy bar and cringed. "Ew, it's oozing!"
"Sydney!" Caitlin continued.
Sydney caught her candy bar and gave Mordecai a sideways glance.
Sydney: (confessional) Do I like Luke or Mordecai? Nope. Do I trust Luke or Mordecai? Not at all.
"And the final candy bar goes to..."
Luke and Mordecai both shared a smug grin.
Luke caught his candy bar, satisfied.
Mordecai stood up and sighed. "I guess I knew this was coming."
He looked at Sydney, debating whether or not to tell Luke of her potential deceit, then walked off.
"And then there were three," Sydney remarked.
"Actually, there's ten left," Caitlin corrected. "Tune in next time for more betrayal, more strategy, and more crazy challenges, next time, on Total. Drama. Stardom!"
Chapter 14: Twists of Fate
In the driver's seat, Caitlin greeted, "Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our remaining eleven went down to Key West, Florida, to compete in a windsurfing relay race! After a couple of explosions, one shark attack, and a roundhouse kick to the chest, the Cash Collectors wound up losing, and Mordecai got the boot! Will Luke's alliance turn on each other? Will the Credit Cards escape elimination again? Will we actually get a decent amount of viewers this episode? Find out he answers to these questions, and more, only on this episode of Total. Drama. Stardom!"
Angie, Brandon, and Claire all sat around a table, playing cards.
"Got any five's?" Brandon asked Angie, bored.
Claire sighed. "There's nothing to do in here. And that's coming from me."
Angie frowned and set her cards on the table. "We could play... 2 Truths and a Lie."
Sydney rushed over. "Oooh, I love this game!"
The Credit Cards all blankly stared at her.
"Where... did you come from?" Brandon asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Oh, the bathroom," Sydney brushed off.
Claire pulled a trail of toilet paper off Sydney's foot. "Right."
Brian and Valerie walked over.
"Oh, great, now it's a party," Sydney sighed.
Valerie shot a glare at her, then inquired, "So, what's going on here?"
Brandon shrugged. "Apparently, a game of 2 Truths and a Lie."
Valerie squealed and clapped, "Oooh, I'm in!"
"Same, I'm game," Brian chimed.
"Alrighty, then, let's get this show on the road," Sydney grinned.
"I'll go first," Valerie volunteered.
Sydney nodded. "Remember, the rules are simple. You say three facts about yourself, except one is a lie."
"Then it isn't three facts," Brandon pointed out.
"Huh?" Sydney blurted, irritated.
Brandon bit his lip. "Well, a fact has to be true, so, if a statement is a lie, it can't be a fact. You stated that there were three facts, when it's really only two."
The other contestants stared at him.
Brandon: (confessional) I'm a very literal person. I know how to take a joke, but, some things just trigger that little switch inside of me...
"Right," Brian said, interrupting the silence. "Well. Valerie, you start."
Valerie clapped. "Eee! Okay. Um. Let's see.... I like Angie's shirt... I like Brandon's shirt... and I like Claire's shirt."
They all frowned, and Sydney guessed, "Uhhhh.... I'm guessing you lied about liking Claire's shirt?"
"Hey!" Claire growled. "It's not that bad."
"It's like, so plain," Valerie frowned. "Yeah, Sydney's right. She gets to go."
Sydney grinned. "Cool. Okay. I skipped Grade 5, my brother signed up to be on the show but got rejected, and I almost voted Luke off last night."
She immediately clamped her hand over her mouth. "I mean, um, yeah."
"Uhhh... you didn't skip Grade 5?" Angie guessed.
Sydney paused, then nodded. "Yeah, let's go with that."
Brandon and Claire looked at her suspiciously, then ignored it.
Claire: (confessional) I wouldn't be surprised if Luke decided to go ahead and get rid of Sydney. The girl can't keep her mouth shut.
Luke and Brendon sat alone, in the RV's rear.
"Hey, Luke, wanna play 'I Spy?'" Brendon offered.
Luke sighed. "Sure."
Brendon smiled and looked out the window. "Okay. I spy with my little eye, something that starts with the letter I!"
After a few seconds, Luke shrugged and guessed, "Oh, I don't know, an igloo?"
Ivy walked over. "We're in the southeastern United States, idiot."
"You got it!" Brendon giggled.
"It was an igloo?" Luke said, baffled.
Brendon laughed, "I was talking to Ivy. It was an idiot!"
Luke and Ivy glanced at each other, then Brendon. "Uh-huh."
"Anyways, what do you want?" Luke sneered at Ivy.
Ivy scoffed, "As much as it pains me to say this, I overheard your so-called alliance member Sydney saying that nearly voted you off last night."
"Sydney? Please, she'd never betray me," Luke defiantly replied.
Ivy raised an eyebrow, then turned away. "Well, it's your elimination. I'm just saying, keep an eye on her."
Luke paused, then asked, "Why are you telling me this? You don't like me, and I sure as heck don't like you."
Ivy stopped, then turned around. "Well, let's say I wind up into some trouble later on... I've got you to count on, don't I? The merge is pretty much right around the corner."
"Oh, I see what you're looking for, a safety net," Luke realized. "I don't work miracles. But we'll see."
Luke: (confessional) Who does she think she is? I'm not some kind of scapegoat. If she thinks she can rely on me, she's got another thing coming. (frowns, then softens expression)
"We're heeeeeeeeere!" Caitlin announced.
The remaining ten stumbled out of the RV.
Brian tripped and landed on Angie, and the two toppled over.
Angie stood back up and brushed herself off. "What the heck?"
"Oh, right, the RV got waxed," Caitlin remembered. "Stairs are a little slippery."
"Thanks for letting us know ahead of time," Brian muttered.
Caitlin shot a look at him, then asked, "Do any of you even know where we are?"
Brendon looked at the shoreline and raised his hand. "Ooooh! Italy?"
"Yes, Brendon, we traveled from Key West to Italy by RV in under four hours," Luke stated.
Luke: (confessional) I truly regret picking Brendon. But, it's not like I had a choice. Mordecai was being Mordecai, and Emilie, well, she was Mordecai's... (cringes) Girlfriend. I didn't think it'd be possible for that delusional idiot to have one, but, somehow, he does.
Caitlin sighed. "No, Brendon, we are not in Italy. We're in New Orleans, Louisiana."
"That place that got wrecked by some big thunderstorm or something?" Angie asked.
Caitlin gasped. "It wasn't just 'some thunderstorm!' It was a huge hurricane that flooded the city for months. Hundreds, no, thousands of lives were lost!"
Timothy grimaced. "Let me guess, you have a relative here, too?"
"Had," Caitlin corrected. "But, we won't get into that. New Orleans is now definitely intact. Well, better than it was before. But there's still people without homes and such. So, I think you can guess what today's challenge is!"
Claire squealed. "Charity event!"
Claire: (confessional) I always volunteered for different charities back home. I raised $4,000 alone for FUDG: Foundation for Unusually Depressed Gentlemen. I protested for weeks to try and add an "E" to the end of the acronym, but it never got passed.
"That's right!" Caitlin grinned. "Each team will be building their very own home for a three-person family that was left with nothing after the disaster."
Luke bit his lip. "Not fair. The Studded Stars have four contestants!"
Caitlin nodded. "I noticed. So, I got a little present for you guys. You're giving your time and energy to New Orleans, so, in return, New Orleans has given back... this!"
Emilie stepped out from behind the RV and waved. "Hello."
A wave of gasps followed, and Caitlin chuckled, "That's right! After a vote taken by Total Drama Stardom viewers, Emilie won with the majority vote, just a few votes ahead of Niko."
Valerie's expression fell, and Emilie walked over to her old team.
Sydney folded her arms. "Welcome back, I guess."
Brendon ran over and hugged her. "I missed you so much! Okay, well, I never really talked to you, but, still!"
"Way to return the day after your boyfriend gets eliminated," Luke commented.
"I'm not talking to you," Emilie declared, standing as far away from him as possible.
Emilie: (confessional) I guess I'm glad to be back. I just really hope the merge follows this challenge. Knowing Luke, he'll want to be rid of me as soon as possible.
Ivy: (confessional) Hmph. Looks like Sydney's found a way to stay around for another week, even if it wasn't intentional. I don't like that girl. I really don't.
"Hey, wait a minute," Brandon realized. "Our team's still outnumbered."
Caitlin paused. "Right. I should've thought this through."
A short pause followed, and Caitlin shrugged. "Oh, well. You'll survive. Supplies are located at your stations. G'luck!"
The Credit Cards were left open-mouthed, as the other teams moved on to their work stations.
Brandon: (confessional) Just when you think Caitlin's actually not as bad as Chris, she goes ahead and proves you wrong.
The Cash Collectors walked to their station, where boards and nails awaited them.
Sydney picked up a board. "Hm. I hope people aren't actually gonna live in what we're building."
Luke chuckled, "Yeah, they're pretty much screwed."
The Cash Collectors all laughed, as they heard someone behind them clear their throat.
A man with his two daughters stood by. "Hi. We're the family you're building the house for. Y'know. The family that's 'screwed.'"
The four teammates exchanged worried glances.
The Studded Stars reached their station; with orange boards.
"Hm. Alright, let's get started," Ivy said, determined.
Valerie skeptically asked, "Do you even know how to build a house?"
Ivy shrugged. "Not a clue. But, now's the time to learn!"
She turned to Caitlin. "Where's the manual?"
Caitlin burst into a hysterical fit, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes.
Ivy frowned. "Curmi? No manual?"
Curmi, leaning against the RV with his arms folded, shook his head.
"Okay, we'll need duct tape, glue, and a lot of patience," Ivy muttered.
The Credit Cards walked to their station.
Claire squealed. "I've done this so many times before! I'll do everything, you guys just need to give me the tools."
Brandon and Angie shrugged. "Wow, easy enough."
Claire lifted a few boards and set them down. "Alright. Electric saw."
Brandon filed through the toolbox. "Uhhh... we have a pair of scissors, a dried up glue stick, and a couple of nails."
"Well, that's not good," Angie frowned.
Claire: (confessional) Seriously? I get that this is a low-budget show and everything, but the least you could've done was afford some powertools. (sigh)
Emilie lifted a green board and then set it down beside another.
"It goes on the other side!" Sydney ordered.
Emilie shook her head. "I'm pretty sure it goes here." <br. Sydney stomped her foot and placed the board on the other side.
"I know what you're trying to do," Emilie sighed.
"Excuse me?" Sydney asked, faking her confusion.
Emilie motioned Sydney over and then folded her arms. "You're purposely throwing the challenge so that Luke can vote me off."
Sydney gasped. "What? Pffft. Of course not! What kind of person do you think I am?"
Emilie narrowed her eyes at Sydney, who sported a nervous smile.
"All I know is, you're up to something, and I don't like it," Emilie finished.
Sydney: (confessional) Man, she's good.
Brian, Ivy, and Valerie all nailed boards together as Timothy watched.
"Hey, Timothy, I've got an idea," Ivy realized.
Timothy stood up. "Really? What is it?"
Ivy icily replied, "Why don't you actually do something?"
"And risk inhaling those miniscule wood particles? Not in a million years!" Timothy defied.
Ivy: (confessional) I honestly don't know how our team kept him this long. He does absolutely nothing. Whatever, he'll get what's coming to him at the merge.
Valerie shrieked. "Ow! Broke a nail!"
Ivy rolled her eyes. "Really? Get over it."
"You don't understand, those fake nails were limited-edition," Valerie frantically stated, searching the ground.
Ivy looked over to Brian. "Looks like it's up to you and me to do this."
Brian nodded. "No worries, we've got this in the bag."
He attempted to hammer in a nail, but missed, and hit his finger. "OW! CRAP!"
"... Correction: It's up to me," Ivy sighed.
Claire chewed on a piece of gum, then spit it out, and used it to stick two planks together.
Angie gasped. "Oooh, I can help with that."
She pulled a large pack of gum from her back pocket and began chewing wildly.
Caitlin walked over. "Umm..."
Brandon commented, "They're... being innovative."
"I see," Caitlin said. "Anyways, you guys whined about not having an even amount of members, so Curmi's gonna help you guys out."
Curmi walked over and glanced at Claire and Angie chewing gum.
He then looked at Caitlin, who shrugged. "I dunno either."
She walked off, and Brandon smiled. "Alright, Curmi, it's nice to temporarily have you assisting our team."
Curmi rolled his eyes and began hammering planks together.
"... Good to see you, too," Brandon frowned.
Luke looked up at his team's partially-completed house.
He commented, "Why did our team color have to be green? Our house looks like it just came out of someone's nose."
Timothy ran over. "Need a tissue?"
"Get away from me!" Luke ordered, moving away. "Anyways, the house looks... okay."
"It's probably look better if you didn't comment on it every three minutes," Sydney muttered.
Luke leaned forward as if he hadn't heard. "Huh? What was that?"
Sydney huffed. "Nothing. Whatever."
Emilie looked at Sydney and asked, "Why do you put up with him?"
"Because if I don't, he'll vote me off, that jerk," Sydney replied.
"Why don't you just get Brendon to vote him off with you?" Emilie suggested.
Sydney wiped some sweat off her forehead, then continued, "Because Luke's got him wrapped around his finger. Brendon's too nice of a guy to ditch someone he's been allied with for this long. Why do you care, anyways?"
"You guys are my teammates," Emilie replied. "Even if you do try to sabotage me."
"I didn't try to sabotage you!" Sydney claimed. "I was just... making sure everything was right."
Emilie pursed her lips, then continued working.
Emilie: (confessional) I've got to get Brendon off of Luke's leash. Somehow, someway, I will do it.
Ivy asked, "So, what do you guys think so far, pretty good, right?"
Timothy looked up from his newspaper. "Oh, yeah, great."
"Where the heck did you get that from?" Ivy asked, annoyed.
"I got it from the local building supply place," Timothy commented. "They have very clean air."
Ivy clenched her teeth. "Building... supply... store...?"
Timothy nodded. "Yep. Right across the street."
"And you decide to tell me this NOW?" Ivy boomed.
Timothy whimpered behind the newspaper. "I didn't know we needed it!"
"We're building a house, you moron!" Ivy shouted, her face red with rage.
Valerie, still looking for her broken nail, defended, "Hey, no need for name-calling."
"Shut up, wannabe-Madonna," Ivy said, barely diverting her attention towards Valerie.
Timothy mumbled, "I didn't know we even had money to buy anything..."
Ivy pulled out a handbag from her back pocket, overflowing with money. "Did you not see my enormous mansion?"
"I didn't want to look out the window!" Timothy replied. "Harmful UV rays."
"Ugh, I'm done arguing with you, I just want to get this over with," Ivy concluded, marching over to the building supply store.
"I think we're done here," Claire decided.
Angie and Brandon nodded in agreement, while Curmi remained indifferent.
Brandon spotted Ivy walking back to The Studded Stars, carrying several shopping bags.
He squinted. "What the heck...?"
Brandon walked over and asked, "What in the world is this?"
"Supplies. Go away, we don't like you," Ivy bluntly replied.
"Is that even allowed?" Brandon questioned.
Ivy shrugged. "Who cares? Go away."
Brandon reluctantly turned around, where he saw Caitlin.
Brandon: (confessional) I'm a fair person. I go by the rules. I don't bend them, I don't find loopholes, I just go by the book. Some call me a "goody-two-shoes", but it's all about being equal.
Caitlin yelled, "Time's up! Put your tools down!"
She walked past The Credit Cards' house. "Alright, let's see, tell me about the rooms and stuff."
Angie walked forward. "Okay. So, like, there's a living room, and, if you walk that way, there's a kitchen and stuff. It's like a kitchen and a dining room. So, then, if you walk the other way, there's, um, the rooms... that you... sleep in..."
"Bedrooms," Brandon helped.
Angie blinked. "Right. Bedrooms. And the bedrooms have bathrooms. So you can like, pee in there and everything. And, I think that's it."
Caitlin nodded. "Thanks for the tour, Angie. You were very... um..."
"Bedrooms?" Angie finished.
"What?" Caitlin asked, confused. "Uh, nice job, Credit Cards."
Caitlin continued to The Cash Collectors' house.
"Alright, Cash Collectors, what have you got for me?" Caitlin asked.
Emilie walked through the house with Caitlin. "Once you enter, there is a long hallway, with several closets to keep coats, jackets, umbrellas, or anything that you might need."
Caitlin nodded approvingly.
Emilie continued, "Then, at the end of the hallway, we enter the living room. If we make a left, we enter the kitchen, which then leads to the dining room."
"Nice, nice," Caitlin commented.
"And then," Emilie said, walking the other direction, "If we make a right in the living room, we enter the bedroo--"
Emilie suddenly fell through a large hole.
"What the heck just happened?!" Caitlin shrieked.
Luke, Brendon, and Sydney ran inside.
Emilie looked up. "Where am I?"
Sydney suddenly gasped.
Sydney: (confessional) That was... the place... that I told Emilie... was.......... Oops.
Emilie yelled, "Get me out of here!"
Luke pushed Brendon forward. "Get her out of there!"
"Oof! Alright," Brendon uneasily said.
He put his arm down, and Emilie grabbed it. "Pull!"
Brendon picked her up, out of the hole, and she gasped, "Ugh! Sydney! This is all your fault!"
Sydney's eyes widened. "What?"
Emilie was fumed. "You told me to put the board on the other side of the living room. Since there's no board here, there's no flooring under the tiles, which is why I fell!"
Luke, Brendon, and Caitlin all looked at Sydney.
"Is this true?" Caitlin asked.
Sydney choked on her words. "Um... well, not really. I mean, she didn't actually, well, like, it..."
"It doesn't matter, I've seen enough anyways. Thanks for the tour, Emilie," Caitlin said, coldly.
Emilie, Luke, and Brendon all glared at Sydney, who laughed nervously.
Caitlin continued to The Studded Stars.
"Alright, what have we got here?" Caitlin inquired.
Ivy led Caitlin through. "Well, once you open the purely mahogany doors of this lovely house, you'll step on these 100% marble floors. After that, you can head into the master bedroom, which has three stylish closets. Or, you can go to the kitchen, filled with stainless-steel appliances, and tiled walls. Then--"
"Okay, yeah, I can't see any more of this," Caitlin ended, walking out of the house.
Ivy stuttered, "What? But, but why?"
Caitlin stopped and turned towards her. "Br-- someone told me about you getting a little help from that building supply store across the street. The point of coming to New Orleans was to give your hard work to those that were less fortunate, not spend as much money as you could."
"But, I mean, I spent like, eighty thousand dollars on this place!" Ivy complained.
"Hey, I didn't tell you to buy everything," Caitlin chuckled. "Anyways, it's time for the results."
Ivy: (confessional, lets out a loud scream for about eight seconds)
The ten contestants, Curmi, and Caitlin all stood by the RV.
Caitlin began, "And, the winners of this challenge, by far, are The Credit Cards!"
Angie, Brandon, and Claire all high-fived.
Caitlin continued, "Now, it was pretty tough picking the losers for this challenge. I couldn't decide whether I should pick the team who nearly tried to kill one of their members..."
Sydney looked away, while Emilie glared intensely.
"... Or the team who thought they could buy a person's happiness."
Ivy rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"But, the losers of this challenge are The Cash Collectors."
Luke groaned loudly, while The Studded Stars all cheered.
"But," Caitlin continued. "Don't get too peppy. We'll be spending the night here in New Orleans. The Credit Cards, you guys get to stay in The Studded Stars' house..."
The Credit Cards cheered even louder, while Ivy gasped. "No!"
Caitlin concluded, "The Studded Stars, you guys get to spend the night in The Cash Collectors' death-trap, and The Cash Collectors get to sleep in The Credit Cards' house."
The Studded Stars and Cash Collectors both groaned, as Caitlin laughed. "Now, Cash Collectors, pick your favorite loser, and I'll see you at tonight's elimination."
In the RV, the Cash Collectors sat as far away from each other as possible.
Even Brendon refused to socialize himself with his team.
Brendon: (confessional) I'm actually afraid of my teammates. I mean, they're really trying to kill each other!
The silence was broken when Luke stood up and sat beside Emilie.
Emilie rolled her eyes. "Why are you here?"
"What do you think?" Luke replied. "You know you're the prime target."
"You'd rather keep Sydney on your team than me?" Emilie laughed. "Who knows? If we go to the Grand Canyon, she might 'accidentally' push you off the edge."
Luke: (confessional) Okay, first, Ivy tells me Sydney almost voted me off, and now, she's trying to sabotage the team. I really don't know if I can trust this chick.
"All I'm saying is, beware of that girl," Emilie stated. "It was nice meeting everyone again, though."
Caitlin called, "Time for elimination, Cash Collectors!"
Emilie stood up. "Well, that's our cue."
Luke also stood up, sighing.
Luke sat between his two alliance members, leaving Emilie isolated.
"Well, that was an interesting challenge, huh?" Caitlin teased.
Sydney crossed her legs and pouted, while Emilie shook her head in disappointment.
Caitlin went onward. "Anyways. I only have three candy bars in my hands. The contestant who does not receive a candy bar must get their things, and take the Motel Room Rental of Shame."
Luke commented, "You really need to get a new name for that."
"I know, right?" Caitlin frowned. "Anyways, here's your candy bar, Luke."
Luke caught his candy bar and gasped, "Wow, it's actually solid this time."
"Next one goes to Brendon."
Brendon caught his and also gasped. "Oh my gosh, yes!"
Sydney and Emilie glanced at each other, then at Caitlin.
"Sydney, Emilie, I only have one candy bar in my hands. The girl that doesn't receive this candy bar must leave. Got it?"
Sydney said, "Wait, stop."
"What?" Caitlin asked.
Sydney turned to Emilie. "I'm sorry. What I did was uncalled for. I honestly regret it. Can... can you forgive me?"
Emilie smiled. "Oh, it's fine, that's actually all I wanted to hear."
The girls shared a hug.
Luke whined, "Aw, come on, Sydney, have some backbone!"
He took a large bite out of his candy bar.
Caitlin smiled. "Awwww, that's sweet. But, I guess it just makes it harder for me to give this final candy bar to Emilie."
"Wait, what?" Sydney gasped.
"Really?" Emilie asked, overjoyed.
Caitlin nodded. "The votes never lie."
Sydney turned to Luke. "You little backstabber! I knew I couldn't trust you!"
Luke defended himself. "Hey, you're the one who said you nearly voted me off last time."
"What?" Sydney said, shocked. "Who... who told you?"
Luke paused, then bit his lip. "It doesn't matter who told me. The point is, I can't trust you. At all."
Caitlin grinned. "Well. I guess I should let you guys know that, in the spirit of New Orleans, this is actually a fake elimination ceremony! Everyone's safe!"
Luke and Emilie yelled, "WHAT?"
Sydney laughed, "Ahaha! Yes!"
Caitlin laughed as well. "Ho, ho, ho, looks like things just got ten times more dramatic on the Cash Collectors! Find out what happens only on the next episode of... Total. Drama Stardom!"
Chapter 15: A Diamond an Almost Dozen
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our final ten took a stroll over to New Orleans, Louisiana, one of the most cultural places in the United States! Emilie's back, and she's definitely sticking around for a while. Ivy and Timothy are ready to tear each other apart, and The Credit Cards couldn't be more happy together. After Sydney tried to, er, get rid of Emilie, the Cash Collectors lost. In the end, Luke went behind Sydney's back and voted her off with Brendon and Emilie! Except, it turned out to just be a reward challenge. Now, Sydney's madder than ever! Will the Cash Collectors survive another challenge together? Will The Credit Cards actually lose a challenge? Find out, on tonight's episode of Total! Drama Stardom!"
In the RV, Ivy stretched out on the table.
She accidentally kicked Brian in the face.
Brian grunted, "Oof! Ugh, Ivy, watch it. Why are you on the table, anyways?"
"I have never slept on a bed that rough," Ivy frowned.
"We didn't even have beds," Valerie corrected.
Ivy sat on the table. "Exactly!"
Timothy yawned. "Well, I didn't sleep at all, so quit complaining."
"The floors really weren't that dirty," Brian pointed out.
Timothy stared at Brian, then laughed hysterically. "Oh, you're killing me!"
Ivy narrowed her eyes at him. "If you keep laughing like a drugged seal, I'll be sure to actually kill you."
Timothy quickly stopped laughing and pretended to zip his mouth shut.
Sydney sat across from Luke, Brendon, and Emilie.
"You guys are great, y'know?" Sydney sarcastically stated.
After getting no response, she continued, "I still can't believe this. Especially from you, Brendon. What happened to sticking with friends?"
Brendon twitched, then stood up and walked away.
"You just hurt his feelings. Thanks, jerk," Luke mumbled.
Luke: (confessional) As much as I want to push Sydney in front of a moving truck, I can't. So, what does that mean? It's time to start throwing challenges.
Emilie stood up and followed after Brendon.
"Don't make me feel like the bad guy," Sydney replied.
Luke shot back, "Yeah, the person who sent their teammate to a near death-trap is the good guy."
Sydney groaned. "Ugh, can everyone stop bringing that up? There's no way she could've died in there."
"Whatever," Luke replied, "The point is, you're in the wrong here, not us."
"You can not be serious," Sydney scoffed.
Luke stood up. "I'm done arguing with you. Geez, you're worse than Mordecai was."
Sydney's jaw dropped as Luke walked off.
Angie sat beside Claire and crossed her legs.
She asked, "What's up?"
"Oh, nothing, really, just wondering if I should get a new look," Claire replied.
"Ooooh, I can totally fix you up!" Angie joyfully said.
Claire smiled, then froze.
Claire: (confessional) Wait a minute. (clip plays from the New Jersey episode of Angie "fixing up" Jessica's hair) ... I'm not 100% sure about this.
Angie began putting Claire's hair into a ponytail. "You're gonna look like Aretha Franklin after this!"
Claire gulped in horror.
About fifteen minutes later, Brandon walked in. "Hey, guys, I just wanted to know if..."
His voice trailed off as Claire turned around.
He squeaked, "Oh my."
"What?" Claire asked nervously.
"Doesn't she look fabulous?" Angie beamed.
Brandon stuttered, "Uh, um, well, er... I don't really know much about girl-stuff."
Angie frowned. "Fine. I'll get a fashionista's opinion. Valerie! Come look at Claire!"
Brandon's eyes widened.
Brandon: (confessional) If Valerie sees Claire like... like that... Angie might not make it to the next challenge in one piece.
Valerie walked over to them. "Ugh, what do you guys want--"
She saw Claire and gasped. "Oh my."
"That's what Brandon said," Angie frowned. "Is it really that bad?"
Valerie ran off. "I'm getting my emergency kit."
Angie shrugged. "I think you look fine. I mean, it really isn't half-bad."
Claire blurted, "I look like a clown."
Angie gasped. "Oh my gosh, how could you say that? You look amazing! I worked so hard on it!"
Valerie returned and repeatedly sprayed Claire's face with water, then wiped all the makeup off. "It's okay, don't worry, you'll be fine."
"I'm not dying," Claire reminded her.
Valerie laughed. "You might as well be."
Angie folded her arms and walked off, annoyed.
Angie: (confessional) I'm really not liking Claire and what's-her-face. If they didn't like it, they didn't have to be so mean about it. (pauses, then sighs)
The RV stopped and Caitlin yelled, "Alright, we've arrived!"
The contestants unloaded the RV and stood in front of a large cave.
Caitlin asked, "Anyone wanna guess where we are?"
Brendon raised his hand.
Caitlin dejectedly said, "No, we are not in Italy."
Brendon still had his hand up.
Caitlin added, "Or South Africa."
Brendon slowly put his hand down.
"We're in Murfreesboro, Arkansas!" Caitlin grinned.
A few murmurs surfed through the teens.
"What's up with the cave?" Brian asked.
Caitlin gritted her teeth. "I was getting to that. Murfreesboro is famous for letting people search for precious gems - and letting them keep them!"
"Like diamonds, and rubies?" Ivy asked.
Caitlin nodded. "Exactly. Your task is to find a large, orange crystal, stored deep inside this cave. It's a little dangerous in there, so take precautions. Once you enter the cave, there are three pathways; each team is assigned one based on how you did in the last challenge."
Sydney frowned. "So, we get the longest, most dangerous path?"
"Exactamundo," Caitlin grinned. "All three paths lead to the main excavation site, where you'll have shovels and picks to dig for the crystal. Once you find it, let either me or Curmi know. Any questions?"
Brandon asked, "Yeah, how do you know which team loses the challenge?"
Caitlin stated, "The winning team gets to vote off an entire team."
The contestants gasped, and Caitlin chuckled, "No, I'm totally kidding, there are two crystals. The team that doesn't find one loses."
"Darn," Luke frowned.
Luke: (confessional) I was actually hoping to vote off those Credit Cards. Those three losers haven't lost a challenge since the creepy game of hide-and-seek back in North Carolina.
"Ready, set, go!" Caitlin yelled, blowing a whistle, and the three teams dashed into the cave.
The teams were just a mass of teenagers until they reached the splitting point.
"Alright, how do we know which is which?" Brandon asked.
Claire lifted his head up, where the caves were labeled.
Brandon nodded. "Ah. I see."
The Studded Stars headed left, while the Cash Collectors headed right, and the Credit Cards headed forwards.
The Credit Cards walked through their cave calmly.
"Hm, no dangers yet," Claire commented.
"Well, we did win," Brandon reminded her.
Claire stepped on a spider. "Ah, this place is full of bugs."
Angie avoided a large mouse. "Yeah, it is pretty gross in here."
"You can say that again," Brandon agreed.
"Yeah, it is pretty gross in here," Angie repeated.
Claire and Brandon looked at her strangely, then continued moving forward.
The Studded Stars' cave was also somewhat calm.
"Well, for coming in second, this seems to be pretty easy," Ivy said.
"I know, right?" Brian nodded.
Valerie nagged, "Ugh, my heels are killing me in this terrain."
Timothy said nothing, spraying everything he could with disinfectant.
"You know that there's no hope in doing that, right?" Brian laughed.
Timothy panicked. "Shhhh! You'll give them confidence!"
"Who the heck is 'them'?" Valerie asked, annoyed.
"The germs!" Timothy replied, wiping a rock.
Valerie: (confessional) I'm worried about this kid.
The Cash Collectors' cave was much less calm.
Luke groaned. "Ugh, is this a cave or a swamp?"
"Seriously, what the heck is going on here?" Sydney whined.
"My dress is ruined," Emilie sighed.
Brendon skipped through the cave. "Oh, come on, guys, it's not that bad!"
The three of them glared at him with annoyed looks.
"Ow!" Sydney suddenly yelped. "I think something just bit me."
"Serves you right after that stunt you pulled," Luke passively stated. "Let's keep going."
Sydney limped alongside her team, adding, "I really think there's something wrong..."
Emilie rolled her eyes. "It can't possibly be that bad."
Sydney lifted her leg, and saw her ankle with a large purple swell on it.
"Ewwwwwwww!" Brendon cringed, and he shielded his eyes.
"How the heck did that happen?" Luke asked, wide-eyed.
Sydney panicked. "I dunno, I just felt a bite, and now this is here!"
"Pop it!" Luke suggested.
Sydney shuddered. "Ew, no, that'd just make it worse. Let's just keep moving."
The Credit Cards approached their first danger; a twenty-meter wide gap.
"There is no way we can jump that," Brandon determined.
Claire looked around. "Maybe we can find something to make a bridge out of."
Angie pulled out her packs of gum, but Claire shook her head. "Sorry, that won't work this time."
Angie laughed, "Oh, no, I just want gum."
She popped about six pieces into her mouth a blew a huge bubble, which popped, then repeated.
Brandon grinned. "Got it!"
"Huh?" Claire asked.
He ordered, "Angie, give me and Claire about five pieces of gum."
Angie asked, "Watermelon Whimsy, Blueberry Blast, or Sour Sensation?"
Brandon and Claire paused. "Wow, that's a tough choice."
After about three minutes of thinking, Claire decided, "Watermelon Whimsy."
Brandon nodded. "Same."
"So, why do you need my gum?" Angie asked.
Brandon theorized, "If we can blow large enough bubbles, they might be able to float us over to the other side."
Claire doubted, "That doesn't seem possible."
Angie shook her head. "At least, not with five pieces of gum."
She gave them both another fifteen pieces and nodded. "That should be enough."
Brandon was barely able to chew. "It's like gnawing on a rubber ball."
Angie directed, "Now, on the count of three, we blow. Ready?"
"Got it," Brandon and Claire replied.
"One... two..." Angie began.
The three of them blew their large bubbles and hovered into the air, just enough to keep them suspended over the gap.
The bubbles popped, but the teens had already gotten past the gap.
"I can't believe that actually worked," Brandon commented.
"Me neither, Brendon!" Angie giggled.
Brandon frowned. "It's... Brandon. With an 'A.'"
Brandon: (confessional) We've been on the same team for weeks, and she still doesn't even know my name. Hmph. This ABC alliance seemed like a good idea at the time, but now, I'm starting to question it...
The Studded Stars continued walking through their cave.
"Still don't see a problem," Ivy noticed. "That's weird. We've been walking for about half an hour already."
Brian shrugged. "Maybe the caves were labeled wrong and we took the Credit Cards' cave."
Ivy shook her head. "Doubtful. It just seems a little fishy to me."
Valerie commented, "Is it just me, or is the ceiling getting higher?"
"I was about to mention that," Timothy said.
Ivy stopped. "Wait a minute. Everyone stop."
The team halted and Ivy asked, "What are we standing on?"
Timothy shrugged. "Rock."
"No, I mean, I feel something weird in my shoes," Ivy mentioned, disturbed.
Valerie knelt down and felt the surface. "Ew! That's so weird. I feel it too, but, I don't see it..."
She tried to lift her hand, but it wouldn't move. "Uh..."
"I think we're in... quicksand!" Ivy shrieked.
"What? But, I mean, it doesn't look like quicksand," Brian said, "It doesn't look like anything!"
Timothy gasped. "It's the same color as the cave, that's why we can't tell!"
Valerie's hand continued to sink. "A little help?!"
"We can't move!" Ivy reminded her. "Okay, uh, how do they get out of this in movies?"
Brian remembered, "They usually grab onto a vine or something and pull themselves out."
"Right," Ivy nodded. "Except we're in a cave."
She looked to her left and saw Timothy standing beside a narrow rock. "Timothy! Pull on that rock!"
Timothy looked at it and groaned. "Ugh, I haven't sanitized it yet, and my belt's already underneath the quicksand!"
"Would you rather die or get your hands dirty?!" Ivy yelled.
"Fine," Timothy muttered.
He cringed as he grabbed onto the rock and pulled himself out of the sand, then immediately sprayed himself with his disinfectant.
Valerie was now chest-deep into the sand. "Get us out of here!!"
Timothy pulled some tooth floss from his belt, tied it into a lasso, tied it to a rock, then roped up each of his teammates. "Pull!"
The rest of the Studded Stars pulled on the floss, and dug themselves out of the quicksand.
"That's some strong floss," Brian commented.
"I only get the best brands!" Timothy beamed.
Valerie hugged Timothy. "You saved my life!"
Timothy blushed, then wiped himself with a moist towelette. "I'd never let you guys just die."
Timothy: (confessional) Yay! I'm a hero... ish...
The Cash Collectors trudged through their swamp-cave hybrid.
Sydney poked at her large wart. "I think it's getting better."
She received no response, and sighed. "Ugh, whatever. Let's just get this challenge done and over with."
"Couldn't have said it better myself," Emilie agreed.
The Cash Collectors turned a corner, and Brendon immediately screamed.
"What the heck is your problem?" Luke grumbled.
Brendon pointed to the ground, petrified.
Five large alligators roamed about the cave, snapping and swimming, searching for food.
"Oh, gosh, really, Caitlin?" Sydney groaned.
Emilie squinted. "I think they're hungry."
Luke joked, "Let's feed them Sydney's wart."
Sydney shot a look at him. "That's beyond un-funny."
"Shhhh! Keep it down," Brendon warned.
"Now, how are we supposed to get across this?" Emilie frowned.
Sydney shrugged. "They're obviously hungry. If we can find some kind of food, we can toss it to the side, then make a run for it while they're distracted."
Brendon asked, "Anyone got some kind of food on them?"
The Cash Collectors dug through their pockets.
Luke shook his head. "All I've got is... thirty bucks, a cellphone, and..."
He unfolded a piece of paper. "... Algebra II homework. Ew."
He crumpled the paper up into a ball and tossed it across the cave, and the alligators swam towards it, ripping it to shreds.
"Maybe we don't need food," Brendon noticed. "They'll eat up anything that you don't need."
Sydney fiddled through her pockets. "Oooh, I've got a couple of random receipts in here."
She crumpled the receipts into a ball and whispered, "When I throw these, we all make a run for it. Ready?"
The rest of her team nodded.
She tossed the paper ball across the cave, with the alligators following it, while the team ran in the other direction.
Halfway through, Sydney let out a small yell, then continued limping through.
The team made it across, and Brendon asked, "Everyone okay?"
Emilie and Luke nodded, while Sydney stated, "The wart popped."
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!" Brendon gagged. "Are you okay?"
She lifted her leg and saw that she was virtually scarless; no traces of the swell were visible.
"I... guess I am," Sydney said, unsure.
"Weird," Luke thought aloud. "Whatever."
Emilie continued walking. "Let's keep moving. Remember, we have the longest path."
The Credit Cards rushed into the excavation site.
"Haha, first!" Angie jeered.
Caitlin greeted them. "Welcome, Credit Cards! Shovels, picks, and safety helmets are all available to you."
Each team member picked up one of each supply.
"Let's get digging!" Brandon cheered.
Claire suggested, "Let's split up, we'll cover more ground, and we'll have a better chance at getting a crystal."
"Good idea," Brandon nodded. "I'll take the northern area, Claire, you can take the southern area, and Angie, you can dig in the middle. Clear?"
"Crystal," Claire and Angie replied.
About fifteen minutes later, the Studded Stars waltzed into the excavation area.
"Crap, they've got a lead!" Ivy said, noticing Brandon with large mounds of dirt around him.
Valerie nodded. "You're right, let's get moving."
Caitlin gestured towards the supplies. "Get what you need and start digging."
Brian, Valerie, and Ivy all took a shovel, pick, and safety helmet, while Timothy took two safety helmets and a kiddie shovel.
Brian noticed and sighed, "Really?"
Timothy looked over at him and said, "Hey, I think you'd be used to this by now."
"I am," Brian clarified, "But, dude, you're in a cave. Surrounded by dirt. You're gonna have to snap out of your little phase soon."
"Phase?" Timothy scoffed, enraged. "This isn't a phase. It's a lifestyle, okay? I'm not going to change my healthy ways just to make friends on some TV show that I didn't sign up for."
Brian backed away. "Dude, chill."
Timothy shook his head. "I will not chill. I'm tired of being picked on and stared at just because I decide to live a perfectly clean life, unlike most of the world. Okay? This is how I am. And if there's a problem with it, I'll be more than happy to vote myself off."
"You really need to calm down," Valerie suggested. "I'm sure Brian didn't mean it that way."
Timothy sighed and walked away from his team.
Timothy: (confessional) I might have... snapped. But, it's really not my fault. I didn't choose to be this way. I was raised in a neat-freak, germ-free environment. I can't be expected to change in an instant.
Curmi walked over to Timothy, whispered something in his ear, then walked back to Caitlin.
Caitlin looked at Curmi. "Why don't you ever speak publicly?"
Curmi shrugged, then whistled.
Angie ran over to him, gave him a piece of gum, then ran back to her things and continued shoveling.
"What the...?" Caitlin said, baffled. "You've got Angie givig you gum like a maid?"
Curmi nodded and chewed on a piece of Sour Sensation bubble gum.
A minute or two later, Timothy returned to his team. "Curmi's right. I'm sorry about what just happened. It's just... I get teased a lot at school. I'm pressured a lot by my parents, too. I guess I took out all my anger on you guys. You can forgive me, right?"
Timothy put his hand out.
Valerie gasped. "You're... offering to shake someone's hand?"
Timothy nodded. "I guess it's a good first step."
"Goodness, you could've at least waited another episode," Ivy frowned.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Valerie asked, annoyed.
Ivy buried her shovel into the ground. "I just don't believe that he can make such a quick change and stick to it. Believe me, tomorrow morning he'll be spraying our mattresses."
"I'm right here, you know," Timothy said, waving.
Valerie folded her arms. "I can't believe you. Do you ever feel... happy? Like, at all?"
Ivy scoffed. "Excuse me? Why would you think that? I've got all the money in the world, I'm happier than ever."
Valerie asked, "Then why are you like this?"
"Like what?" Ivy asked, then nervously resumed shoveling.
Valerie shrugged. "Oh, I don't know, like such an uptight dictator? Why do you do it?"
Ivy stabbed her shovel into the ground again, this time, much deeper. "I don't know what you're talking about. Just shut it and get digging. We're already behind, this is delaying us even more."
Valerie: (confessional) If she keeps avoiding her problems, she'll never face them, and I hope she knows that. I'm not going to be her personal therapist.
The Cash Collectors rushed into the excavation area, panting.
"Did... anyone... find... crystal... yet?" Brendon choked.
Caitlin looked at him strangely. "Nope. Get your tools and start digging. Why are you so tired?"
Sydney walked over, breathing heavily. "Those alligators freakin' chased us for half an hour!"
Caitlin lughed hysterically. "Ahahaha! Are you serious? BAHAHAHA!"
She turned to Curmi. "Did we get any of that on tape?"
Curmi whispered something into a walkie-talkie, listened to the reply, and nodded.
"AHAHA!" Caitlin chortled. "Oh, that's amazing."
"HELLO?" Sydney roared. "We could've died!"
Caitlin touseled her hair. "But you didn't."
Sydney, fumed, reluctantly snatched a shovel and safety hat.
She walked over to a corner and began digging, muttering, "Stupid host... just like Chris... no fashion sense... no care for anyone else..."
Suddenly, she hit something, and picked it up from the ground.
She squealed, "Eeeeeee! I found a crystal!"
Brandon looked at her from across the area, wide-eyed. "How did she do that so fast?! We've been digging for an hour, and she found it in fifteen seconds!"
"Too bad!" Sydney giggled, running to Caitlin. "Here's your crystal."
Caitlin announced, "And, the Cash Collectors are immune! Only one crystal remains! Dig, dig, dig!"
Luke walked over to Sydney and sighed. "I never thought I'd say this, but, good job."
"So, are we, like, cool?" Sydney asked.
Luke laughed, "As if!"
He walked away, leaving Sydney alone.
Angie continued digging, sighing. "Diamond... nope... red ruby... nope... sapphire... nuh-uh..."
Brandon asked, "How's it going, Claire?"
Claire sighed. "I've found absolutely nothing. Hmph."
"We've got to keep trying," Brandon pushed. "If we lose, we'll be down to two members. That can't happen."
Claire shrugged. "Yeah. Wait, if we lose, Angie's going, right?"
Brandon laughed, "Yeah, duh."
"Got it!" Angie gleefully yelled. "Got the crystal!"
"And the Credit Cards have found the other crystal!" Caitlin yelled. "Studded Stars! You're tonight's big losers! I'll be seeing you at tonight's elimination."
Ivy groaned, snapping her shovel in half.
Angie skipped over to Brandon and Claire. "I did it! Whoo! So, what were you guys talking about?"
Brandon and Claire glanced at each other.
"Oh, nothing," Claire assured. "No worries. Great job!"
Angie smiled. "Thanks. I'm so glad I can stay with you guys after the merge! You're like, the best members anyone could have."
"Yeah, totally," Brandon nodded, forcing a nervous grin.
Angie: (confessional) I did hear what they were talking about. I mean, I guess I'm hurt, but I expect it. Whatever, it's fine, I'll just see what happens...
In the RV, Angie and Sydney held their teams' crystals.
"What kind of jewel is this, anyways?" Sydney asked.
Angie shrugged. "It looks like candy."
She playfully bit it, and it ended up breaking off.
"... It is candy!" Angie realized. "Doesn't taste that good."
Sydney reminded her, "Well, it's been in the ground."
Angie quickly spit out the contents. "Oh, ew, ew, ew."
The Rest Stop Ceremony followed shortly after.
Ivy, Brian, Timothy, and Valerie all sat side-by-side, in that order.
"Alright, Studded Stars," Caitlin began. "I've got three candy bars in my hands. The contestant that does not receive a candy bar must get their stuff and take the Motel Room Rental of Shame!"
The teens all looked at each other.
Ivy: (confessional) My vote is pretty obvious.
Timothy: (confessional) You brought this on yourself.
Valerie: (confessional) You're bringing the team down.
Brian: (confessional) I dunno.
"The first candy bar goes to Timothy!"
Timothy caught the candy bar.
Caitlin gasped. "Wow, he actually caught it this time."
"I know, right?" Timothy grinned, then noticed the chocolate melting in his hands. "Ew."
"The next candy bar goes to Brian."
Brian caught his candy bar and ate it immediately, wrapper and all.
"... Isn't that toxic?" Valerie asked.
Brian shrugged. "Probably."
Valerie nodded. "Just checking."
"And the final candy bar goes to..."
Valerie and Ivy glared at each other.
Valerie's eyes widened. "Really? I mean... really?"
Timothy gasped. "How the heck did that happen?"
Ivy and Brian high-fived each other.
"Oh, come on!" Valerie whined. "Brian, do not trust that girl. That's all I'm saying. Timothy, good luck!"
Valerie picked up her suitcase and walked off, leaving Ivy and Brian satisfied, and Timothy confused.
Caitlin gave a pitiful chuckle. "Wow. Well. We're down to ten. Again. For the last time. Hopefully. The teams are all collapsing in on themselves! What will become of this madness?! Find out, next time, on Total! Drama! Stardom!"
Chapter 16: The Wizards of Oz
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our three teams visited Murfreesboro, Arkansas, where they maneuvered through a cave, and dug for crystals! Sydney had a little incident with an alligator, but made up for it by getting her team immunity. The Credit Cards are falling apart; who would've known? Timothy's starting to get over his fear of, well, the world. Valerie blew up on Ivy, and that ended up being a fatal mistake! Ivy allied with Brian, sending Valerie packing. What's in store for the remaining ten contestants? Find out on this episode of Total! Drama! Stardom!"
Brian curiously looked around the RV, satisfied.
Brian: (confessional) Me and Ivy are like this. (crosses fingers) We've got an alliance. A small alliance. But, hey, whatever. It's something.
He noticed Ivy stand up.
Brian waved and yelled, "Hi, Ivy!!"
Ivy, startled, looked at him and clenched her teeth. "Hi, Brian."
"How's it going?" Brian asked.
"The usual," Ivy replied, looking over at Luke.
Brian noticed, then asked, "What's so interesting about Luke?"
Ivy looked away, then asked, "Hm? What?"
Brian folded his arms. "You were just glaring at him. Or staring. Can't really tell, your eyes are so thin."
"Oh, yeah," Ivy mumbled. "I just can't believe he's still in the game. I mean, first, he drags Sydney and Brendon into an alliance, then throws Sydney out and replaced her with Emilie. Like, really?"
Brian nodded, though he didn't understand most of what she said.
Ivy: (confessional, continuing her rant) And I don't get how Emilie can just side with him after he voted her off the first time. Does she have any common sense? And Sydney's just a huge... ugh.
As Brian walked away, Ivy realized, "Wait, was that an Asian joke?!"
Claire woke up and yawned, scratching her back.
Brandon sat across the RV, sitting next to Timothy. "Isn't she amazing?"
Claire burped, then walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth, stumbling the entire way.
"She's... different," Timothy replied.
"It takes a real woman to sleep until noon," Brandon said approvingly.
Timothy bit his lip, then asked, "Well, since you seem to know a lot about girls, can I ask you, well, a girl-question?"
Brandon nodded. "Sure."
"Uhhh," Timothy unsurely began. "Well, like, let's say you like a girl, but she's probably really not into you, but you really want to tell you how you feel, because you're afraid that both of you might get eliminated soon. What would you do?"
Brandon laughed, "You can just tell me who it is. I won't tell anyone."
Timothy shook his head. "No way. You'd laugh at me."
"I'd never do that," Brandon assured.
Timothy continued to resist, then Brandon answered, "Alright, fine. Well, if you really liike her that much, just tell her. If she doesn't like you like that, you guys can just stay as friends. No big deal."
"Are you sure?" Timothy doubted.
"Positive," Brandon nodded.
Brandon: (confessional) If Timothy thinks he can get a girl on this show, well, more power to him. I'm totally supportive of his... decision...?
Sydney bumped into Emilie on her way to the bathroom.
She apologized, "Oh, um, sorry."
Emilie passively said, "It's fine."
Sydney glared at Emilie as she walked on, folding her arms.
Sydney: (confessional) Who does she think she is? She... she... she replaced me! I'm just... ugh!
Sydney opened the bathroom door, where Angie was sitting on the toilet.
"OH MY GOSH!" Sydney yelped.
Angie looked at Sydney and her eyes widened. "I need to start remembering to lock these doors."
Sydney ran off, and bumped into Luke.
Luke fell over, and growled, "Watch it, 'boobs.'"
"Did you just call me 'boobs'?" Sydney asked in shock.
"Well, yeah," Luke said. "I mean, they're huge."
Brendon, who was sitting a few feet away from the two, raised an eyebrow.
Brendon: (confessional) Sometimes, it's hard to tell whether Luke's being mean, or flirting.
"Um... thanks...?" Sydney unsurely said. "Well... um... your feet are huge!"
Luke looked at her strangely, then walked off, laughing.
Luke: (confessional) Well, y'know what they say about men with big feet. (short pause) ... Yeah, their shoes cost more. What did you think I was talking about?
"We're here, I think," Caitlin suddenly announced.
The contestants unloaded the RV, standing at the entrance of a large theatre.
"What do you mean you think we're here?" Ivy asked suspiciously.
Caitlin admitted, "Well, the GPS broke after the New Orleans challenge, so I'm pretty much guessing and going wherever the wind blows."
Sydney grumbled, "Fun."
"Can't Curmi help you or something?" Timothy suggested. "He's like, awesome at everything."
Caitlin turned to Curmi. "Yeah, can you?"
Curmi shook his head and popped a piece of gum into his mouth.
"Uh-huh," Caitlin frowned. "Anyways, we're in Topeka, Kansas!"
"We're in toe-picking cameras?" Brian asked, rubbing his ears.
Caitlin narrowed his eyes at him and continued, "Anyways, I think it's also time to give you guys something that's been long overdue. As of right now, the teams are no more! It's merge time, baby!"
The contestants all cheered loudly.
"Later, suckers!" Sydney grinned, walking away from her team.
Luke rolled his eyes and Caitlin blew her whistle. "Alright, alright, settle down. For this challenge, you still might end up working with some old teammates. You're gonna have to get into two groups of five to participate in today's acting challenge!"
Emilie gasped. "Acting?"
"That's what the theatre implied, moron," Ivy muttered.
Emilie shot a look at Ivy as Caitlin ordered, "Alright, let's enter!"
The theatre turned out to be much larger than it looked from the outside; with several stories of balconies and thousands of seats.
"Whoa," Brendon commented his voice echoing throughout the enormous place.
"I know, right?" Caitlin grinned.
The ten contestants stood onstage as Caitlin and Curmi sat in the front row. "Alright. What exactly is this acting challenge? You guys will have to write and act out a new scene... for The Wizard of Oz."
The teens all groaned, except for Emilie, who clapped excitedly.
Emilie: (confessional) I love the art. Any type of art. Vocal music, instrumental music, visual arts, theatre art... I just love it all.
"You'll have to split up into two groups, which you can do amongst yourselves in a few minutes. Each scene needs to have a Dorothy, a Tin Man, a Cowardly Lion, a Scarecrow, and a Wicked Witch of the West."
Everyone suddenly looked at Ivy and Luke, who were conveniently standing side-by-side.
"Oh, ha-ha," they both sarcastically said, almost simultaneously.
Caitlin raised an eyebrow, then finished, "All five members on the winning team will receive immunity! Also; the only people who can vote in tonight's elimination ceremony are those on the losing team. So, if you win, you're immune, but you can't vote."
Brandon grimaced. "Talk about 'bitter sweet.'"
"Can we pick our groups now?" Ivy impatiently asked.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Caitlin mumbled.
The ten contestants all scattered around.
"Alright, we need two more people," Luke said to Brendon and Emilie.
He then asked, "Which two losers would probably be too dumb to care which group they end up on?"
Brendon: (confessional) I really don't like how Luke talks about everyone else. I mean, sure, Sydney and Ivy aren't the friendliest people, and Brian might need an extra shower here and there, but everyone's genuinely nice on the inside. (from outside the confessional, Caitlin says, "Awwwwwwww!")
Emilie shrugged innocently, and Luke groaned.
He turned around and spotted Brandon and Claire.
"Perfect," Luke smiled.
He walked over to Brandon and Claire and faked a gasp. "Hey, my group needs two more people. You guys wouldn't mind joining, right? I mean, we've got Emilie."
Brandon looked at Claire and shrugged. "Sure, why not?"
Claire nodded, then asked, "But... what about Angie?"
"What about her?" Brandon asked back, leaving Claire speechless.
Claire: (confessional) Brandon's a great guy, believe me. But, sometimes, he gets a little too caught up in the competition. I don't like Angie all that much, but, I mean, it just seems weird to throw her under the bus like that.
Angie: (confessional, pokes her head in) Coming from someone who was ready to vote me off last time?
Claire: (confessional, shrieks) Angie! Why are you here? These things are private!
Angie: (confessional) Who cares? Why don't you guys like me? I haven't done anything to hurt you.
Claire: (confessional) Well, it's not you, it's us. We obviously can't vote each other off.
Angie: (confessional) Claire, you met Brandon on a reality TV show. We haven't even known each other for a month!
Claire: (confessional, sighs)
Ivy had already gathered Brian and Timothy together.
"The merge was meant to separate us, not keep us together," Timothy frowned.
"Hush," Ivy ordered. "Look, Luke's trying to get Brandon and Claire on his side. Go un-convince them!"
She pushed Timothy in Luke's general direction.
Timothy cleared his throat, opened his mouth, then stopped and walked back.
Ivy smacked his forehead. "What the heck was that?"
"Nyeh!" Timothy shouted back, rubbing his forehead.
Angie walked over to their group and asked, "Room for one more?"
Brian nodded. "Two more, actually. Let's see, who's left?"
Sydney sulked over to Ivy's group and mumbled, "Looks like I'm stuck over here."
"Ew," Ivy remarked. "Whatever. Let's get this stone rolling."
"Is that even a real phrase?" Sydney asked.
Ivy shot a look at her and then looked at Caitlin. "So, what do we do?"
Caitlin stood up and looked at the two groups. "... Interesting choices. Anyways, you'll have to decide on which group member will play which character. Then, you'll have to write the script. Later on, you'll act them out for Curmi and I to judge. Capiche?"
"Knish!" Brendon replied.
"Right," Caitlin nodded. "Get going! You've got four hours."
Luke's group gathered on the left end of the stage in a circle.
"I'll be Dorothy," Emilie grinned.
Luke glanced at her and asked, "What are you so chipper about?"
Emilie gestured around the theatre. "Hello? What's not to love about theatre?"
"The costumes," Brendon replied.
"It was a rhetorical question," Emilie dejectedly added.
Luke noticed Brandon and Claire's silence, then suggested, "Why don't we have Claire be Dorothy?"
Luke: (confessional) It's the merge. Three out of ten simply won't do. I need to get Brandon and Claire on my side so we can have the better half of the votes.
"What?" Emilie nearly shrieked.
"Oh, hush," Luke groaned. "This isn't that big of a deal."
Emilie pulled Luke out of the crowd, and the two walked a few steps from the group.
She muttered, "There is no way you can give that big of a role to... to an amateur!"
"I just need her on our side," Luke muttered back. "You can be the Wicked Witch of the East."
"West!" Emilie corrected.
Luke rolled his eyes. "Same thing."
The two walked back, and Emilie forced a grin. "Alright, then. Claire, you'll be Dorothy."
Claire unsurely smiled. "Yay?"
"I'll be the Wicked Witch of the West," Emilie continued. "Brendon, you can be the Cowardly Lion."
Brendon's expression dropped. "Cowardly?"
Luke quickly added, "It means you're a fierce lion... with... a... nice... center...?"
"Like a gooey chocolate chip cookie?" Brendon asked.
Luke looked at Emilie, who shrugged and said, "Sure, let's go with that. Brandon, you'll be the Tin Man, leaving Luke as Scarecrow. Cool?"
Brandon and Luke both indifferently nodded and Emilie smiled, "Alright!"
Emilie: (confessional) I feel like such a director. I've directed a few productions in the past, actually. Though most of them were with elementary schoolers who needed to be whispered the lines.
Ivy's group assembled on the other end of the stage.
She nodded. "Alright, team."
Sydney cut in. "Tut, tut, tut. This is a temporary group. Not a team. If this were a team, I probably would have already committed suicide."
"Riiight," Ivy shrugged. "Anyways. We need to pick roles. I honestly couldn't care who gets what."
"Maybe you should be the Wicked Witch of the West," Brian suggested.
Ivy turned to him and snapped, "What's that supposed to mean?!"
Brian jumped backward and clarified, "Nothing! Nothing! You just, uh, seem like the kind of person who could... um... handle the role?"
Ivy narrowed her eyes, then turned back to the group. "Fine. Whatever. We need a Dorothy. That has to go to Angie."
Angie looked up from her cellphone. "What? Oh, okay."
"I'm right here, you know," Sydney said, waving her hands. "Why can't I be Dorothy? Angie's not even paying attention!"
"I'm texting my dad!" Angie defended. "He needs help trying to open one of those child-safe aspirin bottles."
She continued texting, muttering, "Push lid... twist counterclockwise..."
Ivy looked at Brian and Timothy. "Alright. Brian, you'll be the Tin Man, and Timothy can be the Cowardly Lion."
Brian jeered and Timothy sighed.
"That leaves me with the Scarecrow?!" Sydney barked. "I'm not gonna be a pile of hay and bad clothing."
Ivy shrugged. "Alright, fine, just don't be surprised when the votes end up, well, not in your favor."
Sydney rolled her eyes and frowned. "Alright, fine."
Sydney: (confessional) I hate, hate, hate having to take orders from that witch. The role suits her well.
Ivy: (confessional) I love, love, love making Sydney miserable! But, I've got to stay on her good-ish side. We still need to win.
Emilie walked to Caitlin and asked, "So, where do we write the scripts?"
She grabbed a large stack of paper and a No. #2 pencil. "Here you go."
"We have to handwrite these?" Emilie gasped.
Caitlin scoffed, "Please. Back in my day, we handwrote everything."
Emilie looked at her and noted, "You're only twenty-five."
"... So?" Caitlin pouted.
Caitlin looked at Curmi, then asked, "How old are you?"
Curmi began counting on his fingers, then shrugged and started texting on his cellphone.
"You hired him, and you don't know anything about him?" Emilie asked.
"Hush!" Caitlin hissed. "He was a hitchhiker!"
Caitlin: (confessional, digging through Curmi's backpack, pulling things out and tossing them off-screen) Nothing... nothing... nothing... (finds a bottle of Herbal Aroma mousse) Hm, I could use this. (continues digging)
"Alright, team!" Emilie said, returning to her group.
Luke picked his nails. "Don't call us that."
Emilie looked at Luke, annoyed, then set down the paper and pencil.
"What the heck are we doing with that?" Brandon asked.
"Writing the script, obviously," Emilie replied. "So, how do we start the scene?"
The group was silent.
"The Cowardly Lion can talk, right?" Brendon asked, breaking the silence.
Brandon frowned, then snidely replied, "Yeah."
Brendon nodded. "Alright. Just making sure."
"Why wouldn't the lion talk?" Claire wondered aloud.
"'Cause it's a lion!" Brendon pointed out. "Lions don't talk."
Luke noed, "Then why would the lion be a role...?"
Emilie ended the conversation. "Hush! We need to get this script ready. I need ideas. Anyone?"
The group remained silent again.
"What about the Scarecrow?" Brendon wondered.
Emilie groaned and began writing the script on her own.
The other group wasn't making much progress, either.
"We need to start the scene in Dorothy's house, duh," Sydney said.
Ivy argued, "But, why would they be at Dorothy's house? The others didn't even exist until after the cyclone."
Sydney threw her hands up in frustration.
"Any ideas from the rest of you?" Ivy asked.
She looked at Angie, who was still texting her dad.
Then to Brian, who blankly stared back at her, shrugging.
Finally, to Timothy, who shook his head. "I've never seen it. Or read the book. Or whatever."
Ivy: (confessional) Why do I always end up being the only remotely sane person on the team?
Four hours later, the theatre lights had dimmed, and people began filling the seats.
Ivy peeked out the curtain from backstage and gasped, then turned to Caitlin. "You never said there were going to be people here!"
Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on. Don't expect a big crowd. There's thousands of seats in here, but I doubt more than a hundred will arrive. Plus, it's a good way to raise money."
Suddenly, Caitlin's cellphone beeped.
She looked at it and said, "It's a text from Curmi... Oh, wow, it's a full house! These tickets were 6 bucks a piece, we've got more than enough money for Hawaii!"
Brendon clapped excitedly, then Caitlin remembered, "Oh, wait, I have to pay for the theatre rental... Nevermind."
Sydney hastily whispered, "What about costumes?"
"Oh, right!" Caitlin remembered. "There are two changing rooms here, backstage. One for guys, one for gals. The costumes are in there. Go, go, go! These people are getting impatient."
The contestants rushed into their changing rooms.
About ten minutes, later, Caitlin walked onstage.
The audience clapped and cheered and Caitlin smiled. "Thank you, thank you. Performing tonight are ten talented teenagers who have been split up into two groups of five. Each group wrote their own additional scene to The Wizard of Oz, and they will now re-enact it for us! Please give a warm welcome for our first group!"
The audience clapped again as Caitlin walked offstage and the curtains began to open.
There, Claire sat on a large mushroom, seemingly waiting for someone.
She paused, then asked, "Oh, where, oh, where is everyone? I'm so alone here. I don't even know where I am!"
A large amount of clanking was heard as Brandon walked onstage as the Tin Man.
"Hello, young lady," Brandon said, faking a very deep voice. "I am the Tin Man. Who are you?"
Claire smiled at Brandon for a few seconds, and Brandon repeated, "Who are you?"
Claire snapped out of her trance and replied, "Oh! I'm Dorothy, Mr. Tin Man."
"Have you seen my friend, the Cowardly Lion?" Brandon asked.
"Why, no, I'm looking for a familiar face myself," Claire replied.
After a short pause, Brandon coughed, and whispered, "Brendon... enter..."
Brendon entered sporting a large lion's mane. "Roar. Hello."
Claire shrieked and stood up on the mushroom, clinging to Brandon. "That's a lion!"
"Have no fear," Brandon declared. "The Cowardly Lion is very friendly. Isn't he?"
"I suppose," Brendon shrugged.
Claire raised an eyebrow. "The Cowardly Lion? Is that even possible?"
Brendon shrugged again.
In the distance, a figure moved, and Brendon turned his head towards it. "What was that?"
He jumped and clung to Brandon simila to how Claire did, causing Brandon to collapse.
The audience laughed, and Brandon stood up, dusting himself off.
"I don't know," Brandon unsteadily said.
The figure turned up being Luke in his scarecrow costume.
"A walking scarecrow?" Claire gasped. "Where in the world am I?"
"You're in the wonderful world of Oz!" Luke said, sporting a painful grin.
Claire looked unsure. "Oz? I've never heard of this place."
A voice from backstage cackled, "You do now!"
Claire's head whipped around. "Who was that?"
Luke, Brandon, and Brendon all gasped. "It's the Wicked Witch of the West!"
The three boys all scurried offstage, and Emilie entered, laughing maniacally.
"Hello, there, little Dorothy," Emilie said sinisterly.
"Who... who are you?" Claire asked, with fear filling her voice.
Emilie paced around Claire. "That is a very good question. Who am I? I could be your best friend. I could be your worst enemy. I am, however, the ruler of this land of Oz."
Claire turned to Emilie. "Really? How... strange."
"Strange?" Emilie shrieked, looking Claire directly in the eye. "What are you implying? Do you think I'm strange? Because I think you, my dear, are very strange. What are you doing in my land?"
"I don't know," Claire admitted. "I don't have the slightest idea of how I got here."
Emilie examined Claire, then determined, "You must be lying to me. How could one not know how they ended up in a certain place?"
Claire bit her lip, then began to exit, but Emilie stopped her. "And where do you think you're going?"
"I..." Claire began, "I... I don't know."
Emilie shook her head in disapproval. "Clearly, you are confused. You see, my dear, I can't let you run along wherever you'd like."
Claire took Emilie's hands off of her and immediately ran away.
Emilie: (confessional) That was not in the script.
Emilie ran after her. "You! Come back here!"
Curmi closed the curtains, and Caitlin unsurely announced, "Ta-da? Uh, I guess it's time for intermission."
The audience slowly clapped, and a few people stood up to leave for good.
Backstage, Emilie stmoped over to Claire and snapped, "What in the world happened?"
Claire admitted, "I forgot my lines."
"So you left the stage?" Emilie scoffed. "What kind of actor are you?"
"Hey!" Claire snapped back, annoyed. "Don't get all up in my grill just because you think this is some huge Broadway performance. We're in a challenge. For a reality show."
Luke, Brandon, and Brendon all watched.
"You have absolutely no respect for the theatre!" Emilie sneered.
"Get off my case!" Claire yelled back, walking to the changing room.
Luke mumbled, "I've got fifteen bucks on Claire."
Brandon nodded. "Same."
Brendon shrugged. "Twenty on Emilie."
Emilie followed Claire and stopped her. "I will not get off your case until you apologize for ruining that scene!"
Claire shook her head. "No way! You know what? This role fits you well. Except, you're more like the Wicked (censored) of the West!"
Luke, Brendon, and Brandon all laughed. "Ohhhhhhhhhh!"
Emilie gasped. "You... You... You just offended the theatre with your profanity!"
"I couldn't care less!" Claire finished, slamming the door of the changing room in Emilie's face.
Emilie: (confessional) I will not let her think she's beaten me. I'll get my revenge on her.
Caitlin looked backstage. "Ivy, is your group ready?"
Ivy nodded. "I think so."
Angie rushed over. "Wait!"
"What?" Ivy snapped.
Angie, panting, said, "Sydney can't fit her boobs in the scarecrow costume."
"What?" Ivy and Caitlin said at the same time.
"It's true," Angie frowned.
From the changing room, Sydney complained, "I think I ripped it. No, wait, that was my bra, nevermind. Oh, I got it!"
Caitlin asked, "Ready now?"
Ivy gave a thumbs-up, and Caitlin walked onstage again.
Caitlin grabbed the microphone and announced, "And, now, our second group! Give 'em a warm welcome!"
The audience (what was left of it) clapped, not expecting much.
Immediately, Ivy was seen chasing down the rest of the group.
"You'll never leave! Never!" Ivy cackled.
Angie, Timothy, Brian, and Sydney ran in circles, yelling for their lives.
Ivy threw crumpled up pieces of green construction paper, missing every time.
"The Wicked Witch of the North is out to get us!" Angie cried.
Brian elbowed her, and she corrected, "South!"
Brian elbowed her again, and Angie guessed, "West?"
Ivy threw one of the balls at Timothy.
He dramatically fell on the floor and moaned. "Ohhh, nooo!"
"Cowardly Lion!" Angie gasped, kneeling down to assist him.
"Are you okay?" She asked, looking Timothy straight in the eyes.
Timothy paused for a moment to remember his lines. "Uhhh.... yes! I... am... fine... thank... you... Alice?"
The audience gasped, and Timothy corrected, "Dorothy! Not Alice. Wrong book."
Ivy groaned and threw more paper balls at everyone.
"Run away!" Brian cried, still running in circles with Sydney.
Ivy threw a ball at Brian, and he fell over on top of Sydney.
As the two fell, Sydney's costume tore, and her left breast popped out of the hole.
The audience gasped again, and a long, awkward pause filled the theatre.
Angie whispered, "You aren't wearing a bra?"
Sydney whispered back, "It wouldn't fit in the costume!"
Suddenly, the curtains closed again, and Caitlin blankly stared into the crowd. "Thank you for your time. Always wear a bra. Good night, Kansas."
The teens changed out of their costumes and into their regular clothing, then gathered onstage.
Caitlin began, "Well, that was a... strange... night."
Ivy glared at Sydney, while everyone else murmured in agreement.
She continued, "So. Let's start with Emilie's group. Great acting. Nice lines. Besides a few delayed entrances and lines, and the premature ending, I think it was pretty good overall. A bit too plain for my tastes, though."
Caitlin then turned to the other group. "You guys. Ummm... I liked the action going on. But, Angie, you messed up the witch's name. Sydney, your boob flew out. Timothy, you called Dorothy by the wrong name. Brian and Ivy, you guys were okay. Because of this, I've got to give the win to Emilie, Luke, Brendon, Brandon, and Claire."
The winning group cheered loudly, while the other group sighed.
Caitlin reminded them, "Winners! You're immune, but, remember, you can't vote tonight. Only the losers will vote."
Ivy declared, "And I know just who I'm voting for."
The Rest Stop Ceremony took place backstage.
Caitlin, feeling snarky, said, "You guys lost. You know that. So, you're here. At elimination. Which is for losers."
Sydney snapped, "We get it, we didn't win, just shut it and hand out the candy!"
"Testy," Caitlin muttered. "Anyways, I've got four candy bars, and there's only five of you. So, one of you is getting the boot."
Ivy: (confessional) It's technically your fault that we lost.
Sydney: (confessional) I'm not going to go home because of what you did.
Angie: (confessional) Whatever.
Timothy: (confessional) Meh.
Brian: (confessional) I'm just doing what Ivy told me.
Caitlin threw candy bars to Ivy and Angie. "You two are safe."
Ivy dodged hers and Angie caught it, then set it down.
"Timothy, you're safe, too."
Timothy grinned, but didn't catch his candy bar.
"Sydney. Brian. You guys are the bottom two. Sydney, you flashed the audience 'cause you didn't wear a bra. Brian, you fell on her, tearing her costume."
Sydney glared at Ivy, while Brian grinned at her.
"The final candy bar goes to Sydney!"
Sydney smiled and caught her candy bar, while Brian gasped. "What?"
"Hey, you fell on her," Ivy pointed out.
"Yep," Angie nodded.
Sydney smiled and waved, "Later!"
Brian mumbled and stormed out of the theatre, while Caitlin ended, "Thus ends another exciting episode of Total Drama Stardom. What will become of the contestants in the merge? Will Sydney and Ivy get along? Will Emilie really get her revenge on Claire? What location will we visit next? Find out on the next episode of Total! Drama! Stardom!"
Chapter 17: Everything's Bicker in Texas
Caitlin, driving, began the recap. "Last time on Total Drama Stardom, we visited Topeka, Kansas, where the teams merged, and our top ten competed in our Wizard of Oz acting challenge! Luke tried to drag Brandon and Claire into his alliance - didn't work out. Sydney's stuck with Ivy for now, hehe, that should be fun to watch! Emilie and Claire got into a little catfight backstage after Claire bailed near the end of their scene, and Emilie isn't going to let this go. After Sydney had a little wardrobe malfunction, her team lost, but they sent Brian packing! Now, we're at the final nine, heading to Texas. There oughta be a lot of drama this time, only on this episode of Total! Drama! Stardom!"
Emilie sat with Luke and Brendon near the back of the RV.
She glared at Claire, who had Brandon's arm wrapped around her, as the two sat beside a window.
Emilie grumbled, "Disrespectful... Annoying... Gap-toothed..."
"Look, cool your jets," Luke ordered. "We still need their votes."
"There is no way you're letting her in this alliance!" Emilie declared.
Luke looked at her doubtfully. "Since when did you call the shots? You should be grateful I didn't kick you off as soon as you returned."
Emilie looked at Brendon. "What do you think?"
Brendon shrugged, then began admiring a pillow beside him.
Turning back to Luke, Emilie restated, "There's no way I can be in the same alliance with her."
"We'll see about that," Luke said, walking to Brandon and Claire.
"What's up?" Brandon said, greeting Luke as he approached.
Luke sat down beside them. "Uh, nothing. Anyways, I need to ask you guys something."
Claire took Brandon's arm off her shoulder, then stated, "We're not joining your alliance. At least, not with Emilie in it."
Brandon opened his mouth to speak, but Luke interrupted, "We're kicking Emilie out."
"Who's 'we'?" Claire asked. "You and Brendon? No offense, but Brendon couldn't hurt a flea."
"Isn't Brendon your boyfriend?" Luke asked.
Brandon again, opened his mouth to speak, but Claire cut in, "No, he's Brandon."
Luke frowned. "No, Brandon's the blonde one in my alliance."
Claire shook her head. "I don't think so."
She turned to Brandon. "You're Brandon... Right?"
Brandon looked at her suspiciously, then said, "I'm--"
"It doesn't matter who's who," Luke interrupted. "The point is, you two should join me and that other dude, to vote off Emilie."
"We'll think about it," Claire nodded.
Luke walked away, and Claire asked, "... You are Brandon, right?"
Brandon groaned, annoyed.
Near the front of the RV, Ivy sat across from Sydney and Timothy.
"So, do you agree?" Ivy asked Sydney and Timothy.
Sydney paused. "Let me get this straight. You want me to ally with you? Are you sure you're alright?"
Ivy sighed. "Yes, Sydney. I'm pretty sure I'm alright."
Timothy glanced at Sydney and said, "If you're in, I'm in."
"Why do I have to choose?" Sydney muttered.
"Because your boob made us lose the last challenge," Timothy replied.
Sydney rolled her eyes and agreed, "Fine. Ivy, we'll join."
Ivy smiled. "Excellent."
"What about Angie?" Timothy suddenly remembered. "She could join."
Ivy stuttered, "Er, uh, um, no, she can't join."
Timothy looked at her suspiciously. "Why not?"
"She's already in an alliance with Brandon and Claire," Ivy pointed out. "She might betray us."
"How do you know that?" Sydney asked curiously.
Ivy bit her lip, then said, "I hear everything."
Sydney scoffed, then added, "Angie's got the IQ of a walnut. She wouldn't betray us. Besides, if she's allied with Brandon and Claire, we can merge our alliances or something, and get rid of Luke for good."
"Not gonna happen," Timothy doubted.
"Why are you so uptight today?" Ivy asked, annoyed.
Timothy stood up and asked, "Don't you notice anything different?"
Ivy and Sydney shrugged. "Nope."
Timothy hollered, "My belt is gone!! Nowhere to be found! Non-apparent!"
"Oh, boo-hoo," Ivy taunted. "I thought you were over being a germaphobe."
"I said I'd try," Timothy corrected. "And I don't think I misplaced it. Someone had to take it."
Sydney laughed, "Who in their right mind would bother stealing a belt with detergent and tissues?"
Timothy: (confessional) I know someone took it. And I will find them. No one gets away from Timothy Evans.
"Yee-haw!" Caitlin squealed, parking the RV.
Luke commented, "Wow, for once we aren't flying through a windshield."
Caitlin stuck her tongue out at him and ordered, "Alright, challenge time everybody. Let's go."
The nine contestants filed out of the RV and stood before a large farmhouse, with a large field in the back.
"I didn't know places like this actually existed," Angie gasped.
Luke looked at her strangely. "Why wouldn't they?"
Angie shrugged. "I thought they were just made-up places in movies. I mean, I didn't know anyone could actually live with animals."
"Uh-huh," Caitlin butted in. "Well. Today's challenge doesn't involve animals. As some of you may or may not have figured out, we're in Texas. For today's challenge, you'll have to get into groups of three."
Sydney frowned. "Groups? Again?"
"Hush, child," Caitlin commanded. "Anyways, yeah. Get into groups of three, and meet me behind the farmhouse."
Luke, Emilie, and Brendon stood beside each other.
"I guess it's us," Brendon noticed.
Emilie indifferently said, "Not much of a shocker."
Luke seemed annoyed. "How am I supposed to get Brandon and Claire on our side if I'm not in their group?"
"Then, go with them," Emilie suggested. "We'll survive."
"No, I can't," Luke groaned. "You'd get stuck with Ivy or something, and that wouldn't end up well."
Emilie had her hands on her hips. "Why?"
Luke shook his head. "I just... don't like the idea of that."
Luke: (confessional) Emilie and Brendon aren't the most committed people on Earth. Well, mainly Emilie. Chances are, they'd get stuck with Sydney or Ivy, and who knows? With enough talking, they might swap sides. I can't let that happen.
"I'll just stay with you two," Luke restated. "It's just easier."
"Whatever," Emilie shrugged.
Brandon and Claire stood beside each other.
"So, we need one more person," Brandon realized.
"Right," Claire nodded. "Uhhh, how about Timothy?"
Brandon looked at her, then at Timothy. "He's not exactly the most... athletic person."
Claire, slightly frustrated, put her hands in her pockets. "Who's left? Ivy, pfft. No. Sydney? Ehhh. That leaves..."
"Hey guys!" Angie said, emerging from behind them.
Brandon smiled hesitantly. "Hey, Angie..."
Claire frowned, then shrugged. "Want to join our group?"
"Yeah, sure," Angie nodded. "ABC alliance, right?"
"Riiight," Brandon and Claire nodded.
Ivy pulled Timothy beside her and Sydney.
"Where are you going?" Ivy menacingly asked.
"To find my belt," Timothy replied, trying to escape Ivy's hold on his shirt.
Sydney groaned. "It's probably in the RV or something. Seriously, who would bother to take it?"
Timothy continued trying to remove Ivy's hand from his shirt. "I don't know, maybe someone's trying to sabotage me!"
Ivy: (confessional) Who would bother sabotaging Timothy? He's no threat to anyone... Unless they're trying to sabotage me by messing with one of my alliance members. That's gotta be it.
"Don't worry about it," Ivy said, letting go of Timothy. "We'll find it."
Sydney looked at Ivy strangely, then shook it off.
"Anyways, let's head over to Caitlin," Ivy remembered, following the other two groups.
Sydney: (confessional) Suddenly she's Ms. Nice Girl? Hm. I've got my eye on her.
Behind the farmhouse, Caitlin and Curmi stood with three large lines of rope and nine unidentifiable objects.
"Welcome!" Caitlin smiled.
"Hush up and get to the point," Luke groaned.
Caitlin stared at him. "Well."
He rolled his eyes as Caitlin continued, "Alright, you've got your groups of three. See these ropes here?"
"Oooh! Are we doing a lasso-thing?" Brendon asked, excited.
Caitlin thought for a second, then nodded. "I guess you could say that."
She grabbed a rope and walked to Luke's group. "What we'll be doing is similar to a challenge from the very first season of Total Drama!"
Wrapping the rope around Emilie's wrist, she continued, "The three members of each team will have their wrists tied together, and you'll use our special guns to shoot the other teams!"
"Guns?" Timothy asked, worried.
"Water guns," Caitlin clarified. "Basically, the team that's the least soaked by the end of this challenge wins."
Sydney rolled her eyes. "Lame."
Caitlin finished tying the rope around Luke's group. "No one asked you! Anyways, you guys can tie yourselves up, I'll be back in a few minutes to pass out the water guns."
Ivy grabbed a rope and began tying it around her wrist, then realized, "Wait a minute, that means the person in the middle won't be able to do anything."
"Huh?" Sydney asked, unsure.
Ivy slowly drew out, "Person... in... middle... no... move... hands."
Sydney snatched the rope away and frowned. "I can understand English, jerk."
"Oh, shut it," Ivy muttered. "Let's just put Timothy in the middle, he isn't going to help much anyways."
Sydney looked around, then asked, "Where is he?"
The scene switched over to Timothy in the RV, digging through everyone's suitcases and such.
Timothy began in Ivy's suitcase. "No, nope, no..."
It switched back to Sydney and Ivy walking to Caitlin.
Ivy tapped Caitlin's shoulder and said, "Um, yeah, Timothy's gone."
"What do you mean he's 'gone'?" Caitlin asked, faking worry.
"I dunno," Sydney responded, looking at Ivy. "He just isn't here."
Caitlin thought for a second. "Alright, fine then. Curmi will play with you guys."
Caitlin pushed Curmi towards the girls, and he groaned.
"Alright, whatever," Ivy stated, tying up her group.
Caitlin returned with the water guns and handed one to each of the participants.
"These are heavy," Brandon noticed.
"Yeah, I felt that too," Caitlin remarked. "But, whatever, water weighs a lot. Sorta. Not really. Anyways, I'll be watching from the farmhouse. You have 15 minutes to, err, squirt each other."
Sydney folded her arms. "Did I already tell you how lame this challenge was?"
Caitlin glared at her. "Yes, you did, 'boobs.'"
Sydney gasped and Luke laughed, "Ha! It's catching on!"
"Anyways, begin!" Caitlin announced, walking back to the farmhouse.
Immediately, the contestants, except Curmi, began shooting each other.
Suddenly, they all stopped, and Brendon frowned. "My gun just shot tartar sauce."
"Mine shot salsa," Angie chimed.
"Barbeque sauce," Ivy said, tapping her gun.
Caitlin turned around. "How did that happen?"
Curmi shrugged, and Caitlin laughed, "Well, I guess that makes it more fun!"
"More like more bogus," Luke grumbled. "Who puts assorted dips and condiments in water guns?"
"How am I supposed to know?" Caitlin frustratedly shot back. "Just keep going!"
Angie, Brandon, and Claire chased after Ivy, Sydney, and Curmi.
"Taste my Mexican spices!" Angie roared, shooting at Ivy.
Ivy ducked and yelped. "I hate salsa!"
She turned around, but ended up falling and getting dragged by Sydney and Curmi, who were still running.
Brandon grinned. "Clear shot."
He shot at Ivy, and a stream of ketchup flew towards her.
It hit her right in the face, and Ivy gasped. "Ew! Ew! Ew!"
"It's ketchup," Sydney reminded her, still running. "Calm down."
"Shut up!" Ivy growled at her, standing up.
Ivy shot behind her a few times, missing horribly every time.
Ivy: (confessional) I'll admit, precision and balance were never one of my... strong points. I accidentally shot my archery teacher in the thigh. Four times.
Luke began to chase after the other groups, but was unable to move.
He turned around and snapped, "Why the heck can't I move?"
Emilie pointed to Brendon, who was kneeling down to tie his sneakers.
"Dude!" Luke complained "Challenge! Now!"
Brendon waved his hand at Luke. "Hang on! Under the loop... bunny ears... pull..."
Luke groaned, annoyed, then from his position, carelessly aimed at Sydney.
He pulled the trigger, and a thin stream of mustard flew out of his gun and on Sydney's shirt.
Startled, she tripped, bringing down Curmi and Ivy with her.
"Ha!" Luke laughed, pointing.
Luke: (confessional) I'll never get over pranking Sydney. Although, I feel bad for Curmi and Ivy. (pauses) Wait, what? Never mind.
Timothy now had the RV completely littered with clothing, flipping through peoples' beds.
"It's got to be here somewhere!" Timothy worriedly said to himself.
He reached Angie's bed and lifted the pillow.
Noticing something, he said, "What in the...?"
Timothy reached underneath her bed and pulled out a large purple bra.
He tossed it across the RV, disgusted.
Timothy: (confessional, digging through the RV's glove box) Where the heck is it?
Luke, Emilie, and Brendon were now mobile, chasing Angie, Brandon, and Claire.
Brendon looked at his gun, then at Brandon, and smiled.
Brendon: (confessional) I'm not a bad person. Now, Brandon, on the other hand...
He shot at Brandon, but missed and accidentally hit Claire.
Brandon noticed and turned around. "Oh, picking on my girlfriend, now?"
"What? No!" Brendon defended. "I was aiming for you!"
"What?" Brandon yelled, halting, making Angie and Claire fall over.
Brendon and Brandon both shot at each other repeatedly, and within seconds, they were covered in tartar sauce and ketchup.
"Ewww," Angie commented.
She wiped her finger on Brandon's arm and tasted the tartar sauce. "Not half-bad."
Luke and Emilie seized the opportunity by shooting Angie and Claire with mustard and hot sauce.
The girls shrieked in terror, and Luke and Emilie high-fived, then quickly turned away from each other.
Ivy, Curmi, and Sydney snuck over to the other two groups.
Sydney whispered, "On the count of three, we shoot Luke."
Ivy nodded, while Curmi sighed.
"One, two, three!" Sydney counted, and the three all shot Luke at the same time.
Luke suddenly became a splash of barbeque sauce, guacamole dip, and a strange clear liquid.
He moaned. "Ahhhh! Too much stuff on me!"
"What is that?" Emilie asked, poking Luke's shirt. "There was some random colorless thing Sydney shot."
"Maybe it was poison!" Brendon gasped.
The other contestants all looked at him strangely.
Claire playfully shot Luke with cheese dip. "Looks like it's nacho day, huh?"
"That joke was lamer than Angie's outfit," Luke said, frustrated.
Angie looked at her shirt, then announced, "I forgot to put on my bra."
Caitlin came rushing down. "Okay! Okay! Let me end this challenge before someone gets topless again."
The contestants, still missing Timothy, lined up in front of the farmhouse.
Caitlin walked down the line, examining each of them.
Luke asked, "What the heck was that colorless junk Sydney shot at me?!"
Caitlin poked Luke's shirt and smelled it.
She looked at him disapprovingly. "Water. Genius."
"Shut it!" Luke whined, wiping mustard off of his face. "Who won, anyways?"
Caitlin thought for a second, then said, "Well, considering Timothy ditched the challenge, Ivy and Sydney can't win immunity."
The girls simultaneously shrieked, "What?"
Caitlin cringed, then continued, "Since Luke is drenched in condiments, I'm gonna have to give the win to the Credit Cards. Err, I mean, Angie, Brandon, and Claire."
The winners cheered, high-fiving, while the rest groaned, annoyed.
"Anyways, you guys should all shower," Caitlin recommended. "There are showers in the farmhouse, go in there and wash up. I'll meet you all at elimination tonight."
Caitlin entered the RV and saw Timothy tossing pillows and suitcases around, madly.
"What the heck are you doing?!" Caitlin shrieked.
"Someone took my belt!" Timothy cried.
Caitlin scurried over to him and stopped him from destroying the RV even more. "Look! Calm down!"
Timothy stopped, then turned to her. "I need that belt!"
Caitlin sighed, then quietly said, "I... I know where it is."
"Where?!" Timothy desperately pleaded.
She walked out to the farmhouse, with Timothy following.
They made sure to avoid the shower room, and advanced upstairs, where Timothy's belt lay on a wooden chair.
He rushed over to it and grabbed it, then asked, "Wait, why was it here?"
Caitlin bit her lip and said, "Someone found it on the floor of the RV, then gave it to me to give it to you. I set it down on the passenger seat, but, next thing I knew, it was gone. I found it later up here when I was watching the challenge."
"Who would put it up here?" Timothy asked, curiously. "Actually, who found it in the first place?"
Caitlin shook her head. "They told me not to tell you."
Timothy: (confessional) What the? Why wouldn't anyone want me to know that they found my belt? And then someone steals it? I'm so confused.
"Just head back to the RV and clean that mess up," Caitlin said, heading downstairs.
Timothy paused for a second, then sighed, and followed after her.
In the shower room, Sydney and Luke stood beside each other in line as Ivy showered.
Luke suddenly spoke. "So, alliance with Ivy, huh?"
Sydney looked at him, surprised. "You know about that?"
"Who doesn't?" Luke replied. "Pretty much everyone does. You can ask them."
Sydney tapped Brandon's shoulder and asked, "Do you know about my alliance with Ivy?"
Brandon laughed, "I do now."
She glared at Luke, annoyed. "Why are you such a jerk to me?"
"You nearly voted me off," Luke reminded her. "Anyone who tries to do that faces my wrath."
"Then why don't you just vote me off instead of torturing me this entire time?" Sydney snapped.
Luke shook his head. "Well, that wouldn't be as fun."
She rolled her eyes and Luke suddenly became serious. "Do you even like Ivy?"
"Not in the slightest," Sydney admitted.
He suggested, "Then, ditch her."
"And go where?" Sydney asked, exacerbated.
Luke shrugged as Ivy exited the shower, with her towel wrapped around her.
As Ivy walked past them, he mumbled, "I dunno, it's up to you. Do whatever you need to."
At the elimination ceremony, the contestants, now completely clean, sat in front of the farmhouse.
Ivy noticed Timothy. "Where were you?"
"None of your concern," Timothy replied back.
Angie noticed, "You got your belt back."
Timothy nodded. "Yeah. I did."
Timothy: (confessional) I still need to find out who took it in the first place.
"I've only got eight candy bars," Caitlin began, as always. "The contestant that does not receive a candy bar will be forced to take the Motel Room Rental of Shame! And since there aren't any motels around here, we'll just send you in a taxi to the nearest airport."
The tension was high as the first three candy bars were thrown to Angie, Brandon, and Claire.
Caitlin continued, "Next one goes to Brendon."
As he caught his candy bar, the next one was thrown to Sydney.
She caught it, surprised. "Holy crap."
"I'm shocked, too," Caitlin joked. "Next one goes to Emilie."
Emilie caught her candy bar, then gave it to Brendon, who happily ate it.
Caitlin looked at the remaining three contestants. "Luke, Ivy, and Timothy. Each of you received at least one vote."
Ivy raised an eyebrow and looked at the other contestants, wondering who voted for her.
Luke folded his arms and reclined backwards, far from surprised.
Timothy looked Caitlin directly in the eyes, worried.
"And we ended up with an idiotic three-way tie," Caitlin grumbled. "You all got three votes each."
Everyone gasped, and Timothy grimaced.
Ivy looked directly at Angie, Brandon, and Claire. "You losers voted for me?"
"Nope," Angie denied.
"Then, you guys voted for me?" Ivy said to Luke, Brendon, and Emilie.
Brendon confessed, "Yeah."
Emilie kicked him. "Don't tell her that!"
Timothy looked at Ivy and Sydney. "Then, that means you two voted for me?"
Sydney looked away, but, then she realized, "Then, you voted for yourself?"
"Uhhhh, no," Timothy lied. "Pffft. Why would I do that?"
The contestants looked at him strangely.
Caitlin cut in. "Alright! Tiebreaker challenge, so it seems. Everyone head back to the challenge site."
The contestants all returned to the back of the farmhouse, where the safe contestants sat alongside a fence, and Ivy, Luke, and Timothy stood in the center.
A few seconds later, Curmi appeared, pulling a large mechanical bull from inside the farmhouse.
Timothy stuttered, "I-I-Is that..."
"A mechanical bull?!" Ivy finished.
Caitlin sarcastically responded, "No, it's a coffee table. Yes, it's a mechanical bull. You'll be riding on that for your tiebreaker challenge. The contestant who remains on it for the shortest amount of time will be eliminated!"
Curmi finished getting the bull to the center, and Caitlin said, "Alright, Ivy, you're first."
She argued, "Why do I have to be first?"
"Ladies first, alphabetical order, closest to the bull..." Caitlin listed. "Pretty much everything works against you."
Ivy rolled her eyes and got on the bull as Timothy, Luke, and Caitlin stepped back.
Ivy asked, "So, do I just hold on by-"
She was cut off by Caitlin hitting the "ON" button on her remote.
Ivy hung on for dear life as the bull bucked and kicked in unpredictable directions.
"That looks really painful," Timothy worried.
Finally, Ivy was thrown off, and she fell on Sydney.
The two scrambled around as Caitlin read the timer. "Seventeen seconds. Lame."
"Shut it," Ivy shot back, standing up.
"Next up, Luke!" Caitlin grinned.
Luke reluctantly mounted the bull.
Luke: (confessional) It can't be that hard. Right?
Caitlin slammed on the "ON" button, and the bull began wildly changing direction.
Luke began to wobble, but eventually got the hang of it.
He cheered, "Wooooo!"
"Ride 'em, cowboy!" Brendon cheered on.
Sydney lightly punched Brendon's arm. "Don't cheer him on!"
Brendon frowned and silently waved his arms in support.
Luke eventually slid off the bull, and landed face-down on the floor.
Caitlin looked at the timer. "Thirty-eight seconds! You beat Ivy by a mile."
Ivy sneered as Luke walked past her.
Caitlin looked at Timothy. "You're up!"
Timothy tried jumping on the bull, then fell off.
A few snickers came from the group, as he tried again, then fell.
After another four failed attempts, Curmi gave him a boost, and Timothy successfully sat on the bull.
Caitlin reminded him, "You need eighteen seconds or more to clinch a spot in the final eight and get Ivy eliminated."
Ivy glared at him as Caitlin hit the "ON" button.
Timothy immediately panicked. "Ahhhhhhh! Craaap!"
"Just hold on!" Sydney advised.
Ivy looked at Sydney and gasped. "Do you want me to get eliminated?"
"Well, I don't want him to!" Sydney said back.
Timothy slipped off the bull, but his belt was caught on one of the bull's horns.
He was now dangling from the bull by just his belt, still bucking around.
The contestants gasped as he landed head-first on the ground.
Caitlin glanced at the timer and announced, "Twenty-one seconds! Timothy has beaten Ivy's time!"
"Hey! That can't be allowed!" Ivy complained.
"You have a belt," Caitlin pointed out. "If it got caught on the bull, I would've let it slide. Time to go!"
Ivy's face became red with rage. "You just got rid of your most-liked contestant!"
Caitlin shook her head. "Actually, according to a survey, the most-liked contestant is-"
"I don't care!" Ivy yelled back, stomping into a taxi with her suitcases.
"Alrighty, then," Caitlin ended. "Looks like that ends another episode. We're down to our final eight. What'll become of our contestants as we head into more locations? Tune in next week! Only on! Total! Drama! Stardom!"
Chapter 18: Celebrity Manhunt's Exclusive Third Aftermath
The aftermath opening sequence played with audience cheering in the background.
Josh sat proudly in the center with Amanda, Mitchell, Niko, Jessica, and Brian in the peanut gallery.
He greeted, "Welcome to our third official Total Drama Stardom aftermath show! It's been a long couple of episodes, hasn't it?"
"Not long enough," Jessica snidely replied from the peanut gallery.
Some of the audience laughed as Josh shot a glare at her.
"Anyways," Josh continued, "The show's actually been getting more popular!"
A graph appeared on the TV screen showing increased viewership as the episodes passed on, spiking at the "Episode 14" mark.
"It's definitely because of the drama!" Josh giggled. "Look at that huge increase at the 14-episode mark!"
Niko pointed out, "Isn't that the episode Emilie returned in?"
Josh nodded. "Yep! And it's also the episode right after Mordecai got eliminated. Talk about bad timing."
Some members of the audience murmured in agreement, and Josh smiled. "Speaking of Mordecai, let's bring him out, shall we?"
The audience clapped loudly as Mordecai entered, waving.
Mordecai sat down on the interviewee couch, adjusting his cape.
"Mordecai!" Josh greeted warmly. "It's been quite the ride for you, hasn't it?"
"It's just nice to finally be out of the show," Mordecai stated.
Josh pointed out, "Yeah. And then have your girlfriend come back right after?"
Mordecai shrugged. "I mean, I'm kind of glad. If I were still in the competition, Emilie probably would've just slowed me down."
Some of the audience gasped.
Josh looked at Mordecai questioningly. "'Slowed you down?'"
"Well, yeah," Mordecai unsteadily said. "I would've been distracted."
Jessica shook her head. "You know nothing about girls."
Mordecai glared at her. "Hush up."
Josh pointed to the TV screen. "Poll time! Does Emilie deserve Mordecai?"
Mordecai's eyes widened. "Hey!"
"Press "A" if you think so and "B" if you don't!" Josh quickly added.
As the audience members voted, Mordecai mumbled, "This is so wrong."
The results displayed on the board, and it read, "A. Yes - 71 votes" and "B. No - 29 votes."
Mordecai grinned. "Ha!"
"Oh, you audience members are no fun," Josh frowned.
After a short silence, Josh remembered, "Oh! We've got a question from a fan for you, Mordecai. StardomFan09 wants to know if you're upset at Emilie for allying with Luke."
Mordecai thought for a second, then shook his head. "I could never be mad at Emilie. She's being strategic about it, and I know she won't stay with him for very long."
"Follow-up question!" Josh evilly grinned. "Do you think Emilie's falling for Luke?"
Many members in the audience gasped, and Mordecai shut his eyes. "Ew, ew, ew! No, doubtful. If anything flirty happens between them, it's just manipulation."
The TV flickered and Josh groaned. "Looks like we're getting a feed from Hawaii."
"Why so annoyed?" Brian asked.
Josh pointed to the TV. "You'll see."
Heather came into view, with her hair in a mess.
"These losers are seriously getting on my last nerve. LeShawna ate the last pineapple, so, now, we're living on coconuts. Those are disgusting. It's like dirty water in a wooden bowling ball."
She shuddered and looked away.
In the distance, Duncan was heard, shouting, "That camera doesn't work, moron!"
"It's my confessional!" Heather angrily yelled back, throwing a large piece of driftwood.
The driftwood accidentally hit Eva, who growled, "Who threw that?!"
Heather's eyes widened as she fled. "Bye!"
Josh rolled his eyes. "I am so sick of Heather."
"How could you not like Heather?" Amanda asked.
"Sooo overrated," Josh declared. "Right, Mordecai?"
Mordecai wriggled around in his chair. "She's, err, alright. Just needs to lay off the meanness."
Josh's eyes opened up. "Speaking of meanness. I think it's time we move to our next guest."
"Finally," Mordecai grumbled.
"She's got a poodle named Cleopatra, and a mansion the size of a school, please welcome, Ivy!"
The audience reluctantly clapped, and a few of them booed.
Ivy stomped over to the couch, feeling completely bitter.
"Hello, Ivy!" Josh waved.
"Whatever," Ivy sternly said back.
Josh looked at her, annoyed, then continued, "So, thoughts on your elimination...?"
Ivy began ranting, "How could I lose to Timothy? I mean, really? That kid is so annoying. All he does is whine all day about how the world isn't perfectly clean. He needs to get a frickin' clue. I can't believe I actually offered him an alliance. And then, he ditches the challenge, which is the only reason I didn't win immunity, which is why I was in danger! Then, he has the nerve to beat me in that tiebreaker. That idiot! Ugh! I just want to grab him by the collar and--"
"Okay, then!" Josh cut in. "Let's not have to give this episode a PG-13 rating."
"Oh, please," Ivy scoffed. "I wasn't going to say anything that bad. I'm a very nice person."
Josh gave her a doubtful look. "Is that why you stabbed Brian in the back and voted him off?"
From the peanut gallery, Brian whined, "Yeah, what's up with that? Why not vote off Sydney?"
"As much as I hated her," Ivy confessed, "She needed me. She was so desperate to avoid Luke, I was pretty much all she had, and, I kinda felt bad."
The audience sympathized. "Awwwww."
Ivy suddenly defended, "It was all just to make sure I had her vote, though."
"Oh, really?" Josh snickered. "Let's see. How about we play a game of Truth or Hammer?"
The Truth or Hammer theme song played as Ivy feigned confidence. "Sure. Pfft. Whatever."
Josh slowly began, "Alright. You know the rules. Answer the question truthfully, and the hammer won't swing down and try to knock you out of the studio. Lie, and it will! First question. What was up in that Arkansas episode with Valerie? Why did you avoid her questions?"
Ivy rolled her eyes. "I don't know what you're talking abou--"
The hammer's anchor began to undo itself and Ivy sighed. "Alright, alright. She wanted to know 'why I'm like this.' The truth is, it's not my fault. My parents put so much pressure on me when I was younger. I had to be perfect. And I was. Straight A's. I was the best in my ballet class. Never misbehaved."
A few audience members snickered.
Ivy glared at them, then continued, "But, well, now, as a teenager, I'm starting to realize how crazy they are. So, I started slacking off a bit in school. I got a C+ on a Geometry test, and they grounded me for three months. We had a huge argument. And ever since that day, we've barely spoken to each other. And I'm still really angry at them. So, I guess I take my anger and frustration out when I compete. And that ends up channeled towards other people..."
Josh sniffled. "That was beautiful."
Ivy looked at him strangely. "Am I done here?"
Josh shot a look at her. "Not yet. Second and last question. Did you take Timothy's belt?"
"Huh? No, of course not," Ivy replied.
The hammer stayed in its position, and Josh raised an eyebrow. "Hm. Alright, then."
Ivy began to get up, but Josh stopped her. "Wait! One more question. From a fan."
She groaned. "What is it?"
Josh read, "AngieLover13 wants to know if you like anyone on the show."
"What? No!" Ivy incredulously replied.
The hammer swung down, and Ivy quickly ducked, avoiding it.
"Oh, really?" Josh laughed. "Who is it?"
Ivy folded her arms. "I'm not obligated to answer that."
She walked over to the peanut gallery and took a seat beside Jessica.
Josh gave her a look. "You're no fun."
He looked at the camera. "Before we go to the commercial break, let's go to my favorite segment - That's Gonna Leave a Mark!"
The first clip was of Curmi, in Texas, trying to check if his gun worked. Seconds later, he was shot in the eye with guacamole dip.
The next clip began with Emilie in Kansas. As she returned to her group, she slipped and fell off the stage, and then a spotlight fell on her.
The third clip included Brandon and Claire in Arkansas. The two were digging for crystals opposite each other. As they brought their shovels back, they hit each other with the shovel's head, knocking each other out cold.
The next clip showed Ivy, in New Orleans, trying to hammer a nail in a piece of wood. She ended up hammering her finger on eight separate occasions.
The last clip was a slow-motion replay of Logan, the Floridian surfer, getting eaten by a shark, right in front of Angie and Sydney.
The audience clapped as the screen faded out.
The aftermath returned, now with Brian, Amanda, Jessica, Niko, Mitchell, Ivy, and Mordecai all sitting in the peanut gallery, with Josh alone in the center.
"And now, let's introduce our final guest!" Josh announced.
He gestured to the left. "She's 5'8", and 6'0" with heels, let's welcome our last guest, Valerie!"
Valerie entered, waving to the crowd as they cheered.
She took a seat and Josh commented, "Wow. You're really popular with the fans, aren't you?"
"I guess," Valerie modestly stated. "I really had no idea people would like me so much."
"It's because of your boobs," Brian blurted.
He immediately covered his mouth, and Niko's face paled up.
The audience laughed, and Valerie rolled her eyes. "Oh, hush."
"So, Valerie," Josh said, beginning the interview, "Any comments on your elimination?"
"I definitely didn't see it coming," Valerie remembered. "But, hey, what goes around comes around, as you can obviously see."
Josh turned to the peanut gallery and laughed. "Wow. That philsophy doesn't seem to be true for Luke. The dude's gotten rid of Emilie, Mordecai, and Ivy, and he's still going strong."
Valerie shrugged. "Maybe it'll hit him harder."
Josh thought for a second, then declared, "Alright, poll time. Do you think Luke will eventually get what's coming to him? Press "A" if you think so, and "B" if you don't."
A few seconds later, the screen showed the results, displaying, "A. Yes - 50 votes" and "B. No - 50 votes."
"Oh-ho-ho!" Josh chortled, shocked. "Looks like there's some Luke fans in the crowd! If that's... possible... I guess we'll see what happens!"
The results then flickered and Valerie asked, "Are we getting a feed?"
Josh listened to his earpiece and said, "Yes, but, it's not from Hawaii..."
On the screen, a short, thirteen-year-old boy sat on his bed.
He looked at the screen and greeted, "Hi! I'm Miles, from Vancouver!"
"Hello...?" Josh replied, unsure.
"I have a question for Valerie," Miles continued. "She's my favorite contestant, you know."
Valerie smiled. "Awww, thanks! You can ask me anything."
Miles tentatively asked, "Okay. Do you... like my outfit?"
Valerie looked up and down at Miles' ratty sweater, paired with grey sweatpants and tennis shoes.
She stuttered, "Uhhh..."
"Why don't we add a little Truth or Hammer to this?" Josh deviously suggested.
"Let's not," Valerie nervously chuckled.
Josh reminded her, "Tell the truth, or the hammer comes crashing down!"
Valerie looked back at Miles and gulped. "Errr, to be honest, you could do better."
"Wha... what?" Miles frowned.
"I mean, maybe if you tuck the sweater in and roll up the sleeves," Valerie suggested. "I dunno."
Miles continued to stare at the camera, confused, and Josh turned off the screen. "Huh. Weirdo."
Valerie shuddered, then asked, "So, like, are we done?"
"Not just yet," Josh warned. "I've got one question that has personally been bugging me for weeks."
He reminded the audience, "Remember in the hide-and-seek episode? And at the beginning, Valerie was really depressed over Niko's elimination. So, Sydney talked to you about something. And apparently, she suggested that you do something, but you were all like, 'Nooooo.'"
"You're a descriptive genius," Ivy taunted.
Josh beamed. "I know, right? Anyways, Valerie, what did Sydney tell you to do? Remember, the hammer is watching you."
Valerie sighed. "Well, uhhh, she... suggested..."
She looked at Niko, then continued, "That I throw challenges to get myself eliminated to be with Niko."
A few murmurs surfed through the studio, and Josh asked, "Did you fall for her obvious trick to get you voted off?"
"At first, yeah," Valerie admitted. "Remember? I was the first to be caught in the hide-and-seek challenge. Then, once we got to Florida, I figured it out."
"What a witch, huh?" Josh laughed. "All of these spilled secrets are just getting me more excited for the next episode. How about you guys?"
The peanut gallery unenthusiastically agreed.
Josh looked at the camera and ordered, "So, tune in next week to see the final eight battle it out! Only on Total! Drama! Stardom! Good night, everybody!"
Chapter 19: Canyon Companions
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our final nine visited Texas to compete in one of our strangest challenges yet! Timothy went insane after someone seemingly stole his health-belt and hid it from him... Huh. Weird. Anyways, Ivy apparently allied with Sydney and Timothy, and Angie seems to be back with Brandon and Claire. In the end, the ABC alliance prevailed and won immunity. A three-way tie forced Luke, Ivy, and Timothy into a bull-riding tiebreaker challenge, which, somehow, got Ivy eliminated! We've gone from sixteen teens to just eight, and it's now time for another nail-biting episode of Total! Drama! Stardom!"
Timothy: (confessional, wakes up, yawning) Ahhhh... (turns to his right, where Caitlin is driving) Good morning.
Caitlin: (pokes her head into the confessional) I'm not letting you sleep here again.
Timothy: (confessional) Come on! I can't trust anyone now. See? I woke up this morning, and I still have my belt. I bet if I slept in my bed, I wouldn't.
Caitlin: (sighs and continues driving)
Angie and Claire noticed this and walked over to them.
"You slept here?" Claire asked in disbelief.
Timothy folded his arms. "Well, I can't sleep out there, someone might take my belt again."
Angie randomly suggested, "Maybe Ivy took it. She's gone now, so, you can come back!"
"Nah," Timothy rejected. "She asked me for an alliance, she wouldn't do that."
"She did?" Claire asked, surprised.
Timothy quickly realized what he had said, then lied, "Uh, I have to change... into... my... challenge clothes. Go away."
Claire and Angie walked off, and Angie, confused, asked, "Challenge clothes?"
"He's Timothy," Claire joked. "Who knows what goes through his head?"
Angie turned around, then shook her head and continued following Claire.
Luke bumped into Sydney on his way to the bathroom.
"Oh, um, sorry," Sydney mumbled.
"Did you just apologize?" Luke asked, shocked.
Sydney rolled her eyes and tried to move forward, but Luke pulled her by the arm into the bathroom.
"Get off of me!" Sydney whined, trying to leave, but Luke held the doorknob.
He asked, with complete sincerity, "Are you alright?"
Sydney sneered. "What do you care?"
"I have a heart, you know," Luke laughed. "I mean, even I know when things are going too far."
Sydney looked at him, then frowned. "I just... I give up."
Luke let out a small chuckle.
"No, seriously," Sydney said. "I'm done. You win."
"Really?" Luke grinned.
Sydney nodded regretfully. "Vote me off, do whatever you have to. I'm a done deal."
Luke: (confessional) Is she really doing this, or is she trying to make me feel bad? ... Either way, I still do kinda feel bad. (looks troubled)
Emilie and Brendon sat beside each other by a window.
"So, you really like music and stuff?" Brendon asked, intrigued.
Emilie nodded. "It's my passion."
Brendon smiled. "I like music, too. Did you know once, I volunteered to be in my high school's karaoke contest, and I really liked the song they picked for me, so I got so excited that I stage-dived into the crowd... and, err... fell through the floor... but I got back up and kept singing!"
Emilie's eyes glazed over at some point throughout the story to Brandon and Claire, who were sitting behind Brendon.
"And then," Brendon continued, "I ended up winning first place! The prize was three hundred dollars. But I had to give it back to the school to help pay for the tiling repair."
"Disgusting," Emilie muttered, still looking at Brandon and Claire.
Brendon, puzzled, turned around and saw the couple hugging.
He silently groaned. "Can we not look at Brandon?"
Emilie corrected, "I was actually talking about Claire."
"It's so weird how they're boyfriend and girlfriend," she added.
Brendon's face lit up. "Oh! Maybe we should become boyfriend and girlfriend, that way--"
A loud record scratch was heard and Emilie interrupted, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm with Mordecai. And that wouldn't accomplish anything."
Brendon nodded, embarrassed. "Right. Sorry."
Caitlin slammed on the brakes, sending Timothy crashing into the windshield.
"My face!" Timothy shrieked.
Caitlin pulled him off the windshield and announced, "We're here! Everybody off!"
The final eight walked out of the RV and clumped together.
Caitlin and Curmi stood in front of them, and Caitlin announced, with excessive grandeur, "Welcome to the Grand Canyon!"
The contestants remained silent, except for Brandon, who yawned.
Caitlin's expression fell. "Right. Well. For today's challenge, you eight will have to hike down one side of the canyon, camp overnight, then climb up the other side. In pairs. The first pair to make it up by the 7AM requirement wins a nice reward. The last pair to make it up will automatically be in the bottom two, meaning everyone else will only be able to vote for them."
The contestants complained, and Caitlin defended, "Hey. It's the final eight. Half of the contestants are gone. We're getting down to the wire, people."
"Can we just pick our pairs and get on with it?" Luke impatiently asked.
Caitlin stopped him. "Actually. This time, the pairs have been specially hand-picked by Curmi and I!"
Brandon grimaced. "That can't be good."
Caitlin pulled a piece of paper out from her pocket and read, "The first pair? Luke and Sydney."
Sydney sighed loudly. "Saw that coming."
"Next pair," Caitlin said, moving down the list, "... is Brandon and Brendon."
They both groaned. "Really?"
"Our next duo is Claire and Emilie," Caitlin read.
"Oh, heck no!" Claire complained.
Emilie shook her head. "This is not happening!"
Caitlin put the list back in her pocket. "And that leaves Angie and Timothy together."
"That's not fair, they don't despise each other!" Brandon pointed out.
Caitlin threw her hands up, exasperated. "Well, they were the only two left! Anyways, your supplies are in these duffel bags over by Curmi. There are four duffel bags, one for each pair. Each bag has instructions, a map, night-vision goggles, a tent, blankets and pillows, some food and water, matches, hiking and rock-climbing gear, a first-aid kit, and a compass. Any questions?"
Claire looked concerned. "It's safe down there, right?"
"Is it safe?" Caitlin asked Curmi.
Curmi shrugged, looked down into the canyon, and then back at Caitlin.
Caitlin pointed to the bags. "Anyways, grab a bag and start hiking. You've all been given different paths. They're all the same length, so, no one's getting an advantage. Go, go, go!"
Luke and Sydney walked to the bags, with horrendously obvious tension between them.
Luke grabbed one and slung it over his shoulder. "Let's go, I wanna win this."
Sydney looked at him doubtfully and asked, "You do know this won't turn out well."
"We'll see about that," he assured.
Brendon grabbed a bag, and Brandon asked, "What, you don't think I can carry it?"
"What? No, I just got to it first," Brendon replied, adjusting the strap.
Brandon gave Brendon an annoyed look as the two walked down their assigned path.
Emilie ordered, "Pick it up."
Claire looked at Emilie with false confusion. "Me?"
"No, the ant beside it," Emilie said, rolling her eyes. "Yes, you."
"Why should I?" Claire pouted.
Emilie pointed to her dress. "Hello? Dress anyone? Besides, you're not wearing anything very special. Or fashionable, to boot."
Claire gasped and folded her arms. "Fine. I'll carry it, but have fun sleeping outside the tent tonight!"
"What?" Emilie shrieked, chasing after Claire, who had already darted down the path with their bag.
Angie and Timothy strolled over to their bag.
Timothy looked at the bag, then at Angie.
She sighed. "Alright, fine."
Angie walked down their path, carrying the bag, with Timothy cautiously tagging along behind her.
Luke dug through his and Sydney's bag and found the instructions.
He read, "Reach your campsite by sundown."
Then, annoyed, he complained, "When the heck is sundown?"
"I don't know, maybe it's when the sun goes down?" Sydney snidely replied.
"I meant an exact time, Syd-needy," Luke said back, folding the instruction sheet back into the bag. "Whatever, let's just keep going so we can win."
Sydney turned to him. "Why are you so convinced we're gonna win?"
Luke's walking pace quickened. "Or at least come in second or third."
Sydney followed him suspiciously, then quietly gasped.
Sydney: (confessional) Duh! If we come in last, everyone will obviously vote him off instead of me! Why didn't I realize this before? (cracks knuckles) Maybe I'm not done with this game. All I've got to do is throw this challenge, and I've got a ticket to a Luke-free final seven.
Brandon and Brendon walked down their path together in complete silence.
Brendon: (confessional) I don't like not liking people. Like, I like to like people that are likable. I dislike Brandon, 'cause, well, he's not likable. Like, I like Timothy and Emilie and everyone because, like, I can like them. They're likable people. Do you get what I'm saying?
Brandon: (confessional) It smells like Brendon in here, did he just use it? (groans)
Brandon pulled out the instructions from the bag and read, "Reach your campsite by sundown."
"That's at about 7:36PM," Brendon quickly blurted.
Brandon looked at him strangely. "Uh, cool."
The two reached a small cliff, and Brandon asked, "How are we supposed to climb down this?"
Brendon dug through the duffel bag and found the rock-climbing gear. "Here we go."
Emilie, still pursuing Claire, reached a fork in the road.
"Ugh," Emilie frowned. "Hm. What would Claire do?"
She paused for a moment, thought, and immediately shuddered.
"I am never thinking like that again," Emilie swore, and walked to the right.
Within a few minutes, the paths merged again, and Emilie saw Claire, sitting on a rock, digging through their duffel bag.
"There you are!" Emilie panted.
Claire looked up from the bag, chewing on a granola bar. "I 'knew I shouldn't have stopped..."
Emilie rolled her eyes. "Oh, haha."
Annoyed, Emilie snatched away the duffel bag and found the instructions. "Reach your campsite by sundown."
Claire looked up to the sky. "By the look of it, we've got about four hours."
Emilie also looked up, then, curious, asked, "How can you tell just by looking at the sun?"
"That's, like, Astronomy 101," Claire scoffed, standing up. "Anyways, let's keep going. I wanna go rock-climbing before we go to sleep."
"At night? We don't have to until morning," Emilie reminded Claire, confused.
Claire shrugged. "Why not do it for fun?"
Emilie sarcastically responded, "Oh, I don't know, maybe because it's dangerous and you could probably die."
"Duh, it's practice!" Claire excitedly said, moving forward.
Emilie: (confessional) I don't understand her. And I probably never will.
Angie stopped to get a bottle of water from the duffel bag.
Timothy anxiously asked, "Why are we stopping? Is there a mountain lion?"
Angie paused and looked at him strangely, then pulled out the bottle of water, along with the instructions.
"What does that say?" Timothy asked.
"Oh, I dunno," Angie noticed. "I'll rea--"
Before she could finish, Timothy grabbed the instructions and read, "Reach your campsite by sundown."
Timothy noticed the sun was about five-eighths of its way towards the horizon, and began panicking. "We've got to make it in time! We have to!"
He grabbed Angie by the arm and pulled her before she could take a drink.
Angie: (confessional) Timothy's a nice person... most of the time... but every now and then, you kind of just want to abuse him with a nailclipper. I learned how to do that last year at the nail boutique! (smiles)
Night had fallen, and the canyon became terrifyingly dark.
Luke looked in his and Sydney's duffel bag and pulled out two pairs of night-vision goggles. "Here."
Sydney took hers, thought for a second, and dropped it. "Oops!"
"What the..?" Luke said as he turned around.
Sydney gasped. "I think it's broken!"
Luke rolled his eyes. "It was just a small drop, it's fine."
As he knelt down to pick it up, Sydney stepped on it.
She faked another gasp and cried, "Oh, no!"
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" Luke concluded, focusing his goggles on her.
Sydney shook her head quickly. "Why would I want to lose?"
Luke folded his arms and stared at her. "Well, considering the fact that if you lose, I lose, and taking into account that you 'gave up', it's pretty obvious that you're throwing this challenge."
"I can never win, can I?" Sydney grumbled.
Luke grinned. "Nope."
He walked down the path, and Sydney stuttered, "W-w-wait! I can't see!"
"Should've thought about that before you broke the goggles," Luke taunted.
Sydney pouted, then sat on a rock and folded her legs. "Alright, then. I'll just sit here. All night. And keep you back from finishing the challenge."
Luke stopped and let out a heavy sigh. "Fine. Hold my arm, I'll guide you."
"That's more like it," Sydney smiled, getting up.
Meanwhile, Brandon and Brendon stopped and dug through their bag.
"She said we had night-vision goggles, right?" Brendon frantically asked.
Brandon, slightly annoyed, replied, "Yeah. Calm down, they're in here. Somewhere."
After a couple of more seconds of searching, Brandon pulled out two pairs of night-vision goggles and tossed one to Brendon.
"Finally!" Brendon exclaimed, immediately putting them on.
Brandon asked, "Why are you in such a rush? It's not even that dark yet."
"I just want to make sure, we're, uh, safe," Brendon hesitated.
Brandon suddenly smirked. "Are you... are you scared of the dark?"
Brendon became defensive. "What? No, no. As if. Pshaw."
"Uh-huh," Brandon doubted. "Let's just get to our campsite before it actually gets too dark."
Emilie and Claire had already put their goggles on, however, were having trouble turning them on.
Claire frustratedly asked, "Shouldn't there be an on button or something?!"
"Why are you asking me as if I use these on a daily basis?" Emilie responded, annoyed.
Claire pulled her elbow back to click a button on the goggles, hitting Emilie in the face, causing her to stumble backwards.
She stepped on the edge of a cliff, and the rock gave way, however, Claire picked her up before she could fall.
"Don't let go!" Emilie panicked, her legs dangling above the canyon.
Claire tugged, then managed to pull Emilie up from the potential drop.
Emilie scrambled up, panting, then accused, "You tried to kill me! Why does this keep happening?!"
Claire gasped and denied, "It was a total accident! I was trying to turn on the goggles and my elbow hit you!"
"Yeah, right," Emilie doubted, turning back to her pair of goggles. "We'll see."
Emilie angrily began fiddling with the goggles and found the "ON" button.
"Oh, phew," Claire sighed, relieved. "Can you turn mine on, now?"
Emilie shrugged. "I don't know. Will you try to kill me again if I do?"
Claire groaned, "I didn't try to push you."
"I'll believe that when I see the proof," Emilie stated, walking down their path.
"Wait, you can't leave me here, I can't see anything!" Claire panicked.
Emilie continued walking. "Not my problem!"
Claire frowned, then realized she still had the duffel bag full of supplies.
Claire: (confessional) I wonder how long it'll take for her to figure it out.
Angie, now carrying Timothy on her back along with the duffel bag, trudged down the narrow path.
She grunted and adjusted Timothy, then asked, "Why can't you walk, again?"
"It puts too much stress on my joints if I walk for more than a mile on any given day," Timothy replied.
Angie sighed. "Right. Let's just get to the campsite. It's getting too dark."
Timothy remembered, "Don't we have night-vision goggles?"
"Oh, yeah," Angie nodded, looking through the duffel bag. "Huh, that's weird, there's only one in here."
From inside the RV, Caitlin and Curmi were looking at four separate monitors focused on each pair.
Caitlin frowned. "Where's the last pair of goggles?"
Curmi, turned around, mumbled something indiscernible.
"What are you doing there, anyways?" Caitlin curiously inquired.
She peeked her head over and saw Curmi crushing peanut shells with a pair of night-vision goggles.
"What the?!" Caitlin shrieked. "Curmi, we needed that for the challenge! Not for you to use as a peanut-opener!"
Curmi frowned, grabbed his bag of peanuts, and walked into the bathroom.
"I really regret hiring that kid," Caitlin grumbled.
Luke and Sydney had finally reached their circular campsite.
Luke set down the duffel bag, and he irritatingly said, "You can let go of my arm now."
"Good, you were starting to sweat," Sydney complained, letting go.
She sat down on a rock and said, "Alright, you set up the tent, and I'll make the campfire."
"Why do I have to set up the tent?" Luke whined.
Sydney suggested, "Fine, do you want to set up the campfire?"
Luke nodded. "Duh."
Sydney walked to the bag and pulled out the tent set, blankets, pillows, and matches.
"Here," Sydney said, tossing the pack of matches to Luke.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" Luke asked. "I don't have any wood."
Sydney dismissively said, "Find some. No take-backs."
Luke rolled his eyes. "You're so mature."
"Just go get some wood," Sydney ordered.
Luke, offended, walked over to her. "Since when are you top dog?"
Sydney glared at him. "Since I became able to get you voted off tonight."
Luke's hands balled up into fists as he stomped off, searching for firewood.
Brandon and Brendon collapsed on their campsite, exhausted.
"Thanks for losing the map," Brandon scolded.
Brendon frowned. "Sorry! I saw a bird, and, well, I took an origami class before the show..."
Brandon shook his head. "Whatever, it's fine, let's just get this campsite up so I can get some rest."
Brendon nodded. "Agreed. I'll pitch the tent, you go get the firewood."
"Why do I have to go get the firewood?" Brandon questioned.
"Why do you think I have some sort of superiority over you everytime I say something?" Brendon shot back.
Brandon threw his hands up, exasperated. "It's because you're always giving orders and taking charge. What makes you think you're better than me?"
"I don't," Brendon swore. "You take some things way too personally."
Brandon folded his arms defiantly and sat on the ground "Do not."
Brendon raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah."
"Give an example," Brandon ordered.
Brendon thought, then quickly said, "The name thing. You always make a big deal out of it. What's the problem with that?"
Brandon stood his ground. "I don't like people getting my name wrong."
Brendon looked at him sympathetically, then sighed. "Alright. I'll get the firewood, then. You can pitch the tent."
"What, you don't think I can take care of myself alone in the canyon?" Brandon frowned.
Brendon: (confessional) He's like a grumpy old man. I've dealt with a lot of those... (shudders)
Emilie and Claire reached their campsite.
"You're so lucky I remembered you had the bag," Emilie threatened.
Claire looked at her peculiarly. "How does that make any sense? You're lucky I didn't keep the supplies to myself!"
Emilie stuck her tongue out. "Just help me pitch this tent."
The two pulled out the tent supplies from the duffel bag.
As they did so, Claire realized, "Wait, we need a campfire, too. Maybe I should get firewood."
"We don't need one," Emilie corrected.
"All we have in here is three chocolate chip granola bars and a bunch of cans of..." Claire's voice trailed off as she pulled a large can from the duffel bag. "Chunk meat."
Emilie raised an eyebrow and read the label. "Strengthens beaks."
The girls looked at each other, worried.
Angie dropped Timothy and the duffel bag on the ground and immediately fell asleep.
Timothy stood up and dusted himself off. "Thanks for the smooth landing."
He poked her. "Angie?"
After she didn't respond, he gasped. "She's dead!"
Angie mumbled something, then began snoring.
"Oh, nevermind," Timothy said, relieved. "I guess I'll pitch the tent myself."
As he dug through the duffel bag, he heard a strange rustling noise.
Timothy looked around, scanning the area. "Hm. Must've been in my head."
He pulled out the tent supplies from the duffel bag and set them down.
Timothy turned around and nearly fainted at what he saw.
A large brown bear strolled into their campsite, and it curiously sniffed Angie, who was sleeping dazily.
Timothy: (confessional) Bears don't belong in the Grand Canyon!
The bear gently bit her pant leg and began dragging her away.
Timothy's eyes widened and he whispered to himself, "Oh, no, Angie!"
He snatched a few granola bars from the duffel bag and yelled, "Hey, bear!"
The bear let go of Angie and looked up at Timothy, who sported a terrified look.
"If you're hungry, have some of these!"
Timothy threw two granola bars far behind the bear, who curiously followed after them.
Once the bear was out of sight, Timothy sighed. "Phew."
He nearly returned to pitch the tent, but similar to Angie, fell asleep on the ground out of exhaustion.
The next morning, at approximately 6:15AM, Caitlin woke up, with her hair in a mess.
She noticed the camera and let out a quick scream. "Ah! Go to the contestants! Contestants!"
The scene switched over to Luke and Sydney, who ended up going without a campfire.
"Way to go, it was freezing last night," Sydney complained.
Luke shot a glare at her. "I couldn't find 'anything, I looked all around."
Sydney teased, "You couldn't find anything, huh? That's why you ran back screaming?"
"I heard growling!" Luke claimed. "It was coming towards me!"
"Uh-huh," Sydney smirked. "Let's go with that."
Luke angrily argued, "I'm telling you, it--"
He suddenly stopped and folded his arms. "You're trying to stall me from winning this challenge. It's not gonna work!"
Sydney clapped. "He's a genius."
Luke picked up the duffel bag and walked down the rest of the path. "Not gonna work!"
"It will as long as I'm not walking with you," Sydney smiled.
Luke agonizingly remembered the fact, then turned to her. "What'll it take for you to come?"
She ordered, "Turn around."
Luke reluctantly did so.
In a few seconds, Sydney hopped on Luke's back, and she chanted, "Go, go, go, go!"
Luke: (confessional) That chick is insane!
Sydney: (confessional) I'm not crazy. (grins, satisfied)
Brandon and Brendon woke up, yawning and stretching.
Brandon rubbed his eyes and immediately stood up. "Gah, we've gotta get going."
He tapped Brendon's shoulder. "Let's go, dude."
Brendon swatted away Brandon's hand. "Five more minutes!"
"We aren't waking up for school!" Brandon shouted.
After Brendon refused to get up, Brandon walked to the duffel bag, took a bottle of cold water, and poured it on Brendon's face.
Brandon sang, "Wake uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!"
Brendon, surprisingly, grinned. "Thanks, I always get thirsty in the morning."
"Weirdo," Brandon grumbled. "Can we just get going and win?"
"Alright, alright, fine!" Brendon whined, picking up the duffel bag.
Emilie and Claire were still sound asleep.
Suddenly, a loud rumbling noise was heard, and Claire moaned. "Ugh."
She turned over and threw up all over a seemingly unconscious Emilie.
Emilie shrieked in terror and ran around in circles, then threw up on herself.
Claire cringed. "Ewwwww."
"I feel like crap," Emilie grunted, completely covered in vomit.
"Ugh, same," Claire groaned. "I think it was that Chunk Meat."
Emilie glared at Claire and accused, "This is all your fault."
Claire's voice progressively got higher as she yelled back, "How is it my fault?! You're the one who said we were actually gonna eat that junk!"
"How was I supposed to know it would be bad for us?!" Emilie defended.
Claire pointed to the label. "It says 'Strengthens beaks'! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't have a beak!"
Emilie's stomach churned, and she groaned. "Let's just get out of here so we can get some help from Caitlin."
Claire reminded her, "You're covered in puke."
"I can see that!" Emilie yelled, irritated.
Angie finally woke up from her deep sleep.
She noticed a bite-mark on her pant leg and called, "Timothy! What the heck happened?"
Timothy walked over to her and dismissively said, "Oh, some bear tried to eat you, but I lured him away."
"Oh, cool," Angie smiled. "Thanks. I guess."
Timothy pulled out a can of Chunk Meat and asked, "Do you know what this is...?"
Angie looked at it and recognized, "Oh! My uncle eats that every day. I heard it strengthens feet."
Timothy read the label. "Actually, it strengthens beaks. Why would Caitlin give this to us?!"
"So, that's why Auntie Sabrina doesn't let him kiss her," Angie said in realization.
Angie: (confessional) I have a really weird family. My cousin Emma has, like, red hair, and she's all like, "Oooh, I look so pretty." And I'm like, "You look like a skinned orangutan." And she's all like, "You look like a wet poodle." And I'm like, "What do those even look like?" And she's like, "I don't know, but you look like one."
On the opposite side of the canyon, Caitlin and Curmi waited on lawn chairs.
Caitlin looked at her watch. "Three, two, one. It's 7AM. Where are these kids?"
Curmi pointed to the trail, where Luke appeared, breathing heavily as Sydney chanted, "Go, go, go, go!"
"WE'RE HERE," Luke jeered.
He dropped Sydney and asked, "Did we win?"
Caitlin nodded. "Yep. First group here. Congrats!"
Sydney sneered. "At the rate that slug was walking, I could've sworn we came in last."
Luke shot a look at her as Angie and Timothy arrived.
Caitlin greeted, "Welcome back! You guys are the second pair to arrive."
Angie pulled out a can of the alleged food given to them. "Strengthens beaks?"
"It's the only thing I could find!" Caitlin admitted.
Brandon and Brendon rushed over to the group, panting.
Caitlin counted the contestants and concluded, "And it's settled. Luke and Sydney win the challenge, while Claire and Emilie come in last."
"Where are they?" Sydney asked, curiously.
As if on cue, the two girls stumbled up the path.
Brendon covered his eyes once he saw Emilie drenched in vomit and asked, "What happened down there?!"
Claire mumbled, "Chunk meat."
Caitlin quickly added, "Don't blame me, blame the lack of supermarkets near the Grand Canyon. Emilie and Claire are tonight's big losers, and the rest of you will have to vote for either of them."
"Didn't you say the winner gets a big prize or something?" Luke impatiently asked.
Caitlin nodded. "Right. Luke, Sydney, as this challenge's winners, you two win a lifetime supply of..."
A truck backed up beside the crowd , and Caitlin finished, "Chunk meat!"
Luke and Sydney looked at each other, and simultaneously said, "Is this some kind of joke?!"
Caitlin laughed, "Sadly, no. It's all yours. Anyways, everyone head back to the RV and vote for either Emilie or Claire! This'll be a close one."
Emilie, placed a few meters away from the rest of the group, impatiently tapped her foot as Caitlin arrived with one sole candy bar.
"Can we hurry this up?" Emilie asked. "I want to get the smell of Claire's insides off of me."
Caitlin stuck her tongue out and said, "Fine. Although, I thought it might be fun to air the confessional votes this time around."
The contestants all gasped and complained, but Caitlin hissed. "Shhhh! Too bad. Curmi, hit it!"
Curmi wheeled in a TV and hit the "ON" button, and the confessionals began to air.
Emilie: (confessional) I really don't have to say it.
Claire: (confessional) The only option.
Brandon: (confessional) Claire's my girlfriend. I vote for Emilie.
Brendon: (confessional) Emilie and I are BMAFFFLs! Best Male And Female Friends For Life! I vote off Claire.
Angie: (confessional, eating Chunk Meat by the handful) Emilie.
Timothy: (confessional) I don't know. (flips a coin, the coin gets stuck on the ceiling) Great. Uhhhhh, I vote for Claire!
Sydney: (confessional) Emilie, duh. She's got to go.
Luke: (confessional) Claire...
Emilie groaned. "Another tie. Great. What do we have to do now?"
Curmi paused, then kicked the TV and the confessional continued playing.
Luke: (confessional) ... is someone I'd rather be in the finals with than good-at-everything-Emilie. I'm gonna have to vote Emilie off.
The contestants gasped, and Emilie stuttered, "Y-y-you.... you betrayed me?"
"Apparently," Luke shrugged.
Emilie snapped. "How could you?! I mean... You... I... Everyone... Gah!"
She took her luggage and stormed off.
Brendon asked, "Where is she supposed to go?"
Caitlin shrugged. "Not my problem. Congrats, final seven! It's been a nice time here at the Grand Canyon, but tune in next week to see which destination we'll visit next, on another exciting episode of Total! Drama! Stardom!"
Chapter 20: Alliance Fiction
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our final eight were split up into pairs in our Grand Canyon camp-out challenge! Luke and Sydney are.. sort of... in a truce? I don't know what's up with those two. Brandon and Brendon are still at each other's throats, but Brendon's cooling down. So uncool. Our ratings can't afford friendships. Timothy managed to save someone's life yet again, and Emilie and Claire were just a huge mess of puke. Emilie got the silver boot of shame after Luke went ahead and threw her under the bus! We're at our final seven. Who will be voted off tonight, in one of the most unreal challenges yet? Find out now, only on Total! Drama! Stardom!"
The seven contestants all sat in the common area.
The RV was completely silent, except for Angie's bag of chips rustling.
Timothy nervously twiddled his thumbs as he looked out the window.
Timothy: (confessional) Last challenge didn't exactly help everyone get over their issues. You can almost taste the tension in the RV.
Finally, Brendon spoke up. "I have an idea."
"For the last time, we are not going to open up a shelter for abandoned kittens in my bed!" Luke snapped.
Brendon shook his head. "That's not what I was going to say! I think we should play a little game."
"We are not playing Two Truths and a Lie again," Sydney quickly shot down.
Brendon, again, shook his head. "It's not that either. It's a fun game I learned at acting camp!"
Brandon looked at him strangely. "Acting camp?"
"It's a fun place!" Brendon claimed. "But, anyways, the way you play this is you look at the person to your left, and pick one word to describe them."
Claire frowned. "That's boring."
Brendon continued, "But, you have to use a word starting with the next letter of the alphabet. So, like, I'd start with the letter A, then the next person with B, and so on. If you can't find a word in less than five seconds, you're out!"
Luke rolled his eyes. "That sounds lame."
"What? You aren't creative enough to think of one little word?" Sydney teased.
"Of course I can," Luke confidently said.
Sydney nagged, "Then, c'mon and play!"
Luke groaned. "Fine. Only because I want to see how early Sydney will lose."
Sydney shot a look at Luke as Brendon grinned. "Cool! I'll start."
Brendon looked to his left at Claire. "Awesome."
"Awwww!" Claire smiled.
Brandon raised an eyebrow as Claire looked at Timothy and said, "Brave!"
Brandon and Sydney both snickered as Timothy stuck his tongue out, then said to Luke, "Clean-ish."
"Thanks, I guess?" Luke unsteadily said, then continued to Sydney. "Double D's."
The RV suddenly burst into laughter, and Sydney complained, "Oh, come on, that can't count!"
Luke defended, "Hey, that describes you pretty well."
Sydney looked to her left at Angie, and shrugged. "Extraordinary."
"Is that good?" Angie curiously asked.
"It could be," Sydney replied.
Angie turned to Brandon, then said, "Phone."
"........ What?" Brandon paused.
Angie moved closer to Brandon, then yelled in his ear, "PHONE."
Brandon jumped out of his seat and rubbed his ear. "Gah! I heard you! That doesn't start with an F, and it doesn't even describe me!"
Angie argued, "Yes, it does! Listen! PH-ONE."
She continued to sound out the word, until Sydney showed her the spelling of the word in a dictionary.
"Well, that's stupid and weird," Angie declared, then walked to the bathroom.
"Speaking of stupid and weird things," Luke said, looking around. "Where are we? And why did the RV stop?"
The contestants curiously walked to the driver's seat, where Caitlin should have been, but wasn't.
Angie turned to Curmi. "Where'd she go?"
Curmi jerked his thumb towards the window, where a burger joint called "Out of this World Burgers" was awkwardly placed beside a sign that read, "Area 51 Headquarters."
"Area 51?" Sydney said in disbelief. "Are we like, legally allowed here?"
Brandon shook his head. "Probably not. They had to go to Area 52 last season."
Timothy's eyes widened. "Uh, guys?"
He pointed outside, where a large disc-like object in the sky slowly approached them.
"What is that?" Luke gasped.
Brendon panicked, "It's a UFO!"
Brandon shot down, "Those don't exist."
"How do you know?" Brendon retorted. "Everything's been kept secret from us! The government, man, they're taking over! They're turning us into robots, man, robots!"
Sydney slapped him, and Brendon rubbed his cheek. "Thanks."
"Any time," Sydney assured.
The object seemingly hovered past the RV.
Claire suggested, "Maybe it was a bird."
Luke raised an eyebrow. "A circular bird?"
Claire corrected, "Maybe it was a fat bird."
The RV suddenly became surrounded in a green beam of light, and began floating from the ground.
"What's happening?!" Angie screamed, terrified.
The RV became fully engulfed in the green light, and disappeared from view as the disc-like object flew away.
Caitlin walked out of the burger joint with a bag of food and frowned. "I thought I parked it here."
The contestants all woke up in a room with no doors or anything of the sort - just four walls.
They looked around, confused and worried.
Brendon noticed, "Hey, where's Curmi?"
A deep, gruffly voice that came from an unknown source greeted, "Hello, competitors."
"What do you want?" Luke growled.
The voice cleared its throat and continued, "It's nice to meet you too, Luke. The seven of you are being put to a test. Your blonde friend, Curmi, has been placed in our Human Mutilation Center."
Claire frowned. "That doesn't sound good."
"It isn't," the voice sinisterly said. "One of you seven is not who they seem. They have been recreated into an exact alien clone. Your task is to figure out who that person is, and send them to the Human Mutilation Room."
Sydney looked around the room. "So, one of us is... an alien? Gross."
Angie looked down her shirt. "It isn't me."
The voice paused, then finished, "You'll begin by voting someone into the room. If you're right, then you're all free to go. If you aren't... Let's just say, you'll be less than pleased with the results."
No one responded, and the voice added, "I bet you're dying to get out of here."
Again, there was no response, and the voice finally stated, "Someone else is gonna get killed."
Panic broke out as the voice quickly remembered, "Oh, right! While we were dragging you all into the room, a bottle of radioactive liquid spilled on one of you. I can't remember which. But I think it gave you some kind of ESP. You can read minds. But once you read one person's mind, you get really tired, so it'll take a while to be able to do it again. Have fun, children. "
The room was nearly dead silent.
Claire pursed her lips. "Sooo..."
"Any ideas?" Sydney nervously wondered.
Brandon said, "Well, the alien can't really know that much about us. We can test everyone to check. If they get the question wrong, they're probably the alien."
The rest of the contestants nodded in agreement.
"Let's start with you, then," Luke began, talking to Brandon. "Who were you paired up with last challenge?"
Brandon quickly replied, "Brendon."
Luke paused, then shrugged. "Seems legit."
"Your turn, now," Brandon stated, then asked, "... What's Sydney's bra size?"
Luke rolled his eyes. "This isn't time for jokes, moron."
Brandon noted, "You're always poking fun about her chest, so, why wouldn't you know?"
"Because I don't rummage through her closet!" Luke defended.
Claire gasped. "Wait! We don't use closets; we just take stuff from our suitcases! The real Luke would know that!"
The other contestants also gasped, and Luke sighed, "It's a saying. Sort of."
"I say we vote him off," Sydney suggested.
"Same here," Timothy chimed.
Angie, Claire, and Brandon all nodded.
Brendon grimaced, then halfheartedly agreed.
Luke's eyes widened. "Wait, you guys can't be serious! It's not me! I'm innocent!"
The lights shut off, then back on again, and Luke was no longer in the room.
Claire clapped delightfully. "I think we were right!"
"No, you weren't," the voice corrected. "You were wrong!"
Timothy fainted on Angie and she collapsed. "Why is he so easy to scare?!"
The lights flickered once again, and Brandon had disappeared.
"Brandon! No!" Claire screamed.
The voice laughed evilly, then instructed, "Time to vote someone off again."
Sydney thought, then concluded, "Alright, let's see. The alien wouldn't know that Claire and Brandon were dating, so, Claire's the real Claire. Timothy fainted, so I think he's okay, too. That leaves Angie and Brendon."
"And you," Brendon added.
Claire accused, "It had to be Brendon! He hates Brandon!"
Brendon put his hands up in defense. "Whoa, whoa! I don't hate Brandon, we just aren't very friendly with each other. And it wasn't me! I promise!"
"I don't know, Brandon's a well-liked guy. You're the only one he has a problem with," Sydney pointed out.
Angie jeered, "Off with his leg!"
Claire whispered, "I think you mean 'Off with his head.'"
"Right," Angie blushed.
The room darkened again, and when the lights had turned back on, Brendon was gone.
Angie looked around. "Huh. We did it!"
The lights flickered one more time, and Angie was nowhere to be found.
Sydney and Claire gasped, then looked at each other. "It's you!"
Claire shrieked, "It's been you all along!"
"Are you crazy?" Sydney denied. "You're obviously the traitor!"
Timothy woke up from his daze. "It's you, Sydney. I have the ESP!"
Sydney gasped, and Timothy suddenly realized, "... There's radioactivity all over me now."
He pulled out a can of spray, removed the lid, and dumped it over his body. "But, yeah, it's Sydney."
Clapping was heard from an unknown source, and one of the walls opened up.
A large, lanky green alien laughed. "Well done."
The Sydney clone had disappeared, and Claire and Timothy were the only two left.
Claire asked, "Where are our friends? Are they really..."
"No, they're fine," the alien assured. "They're completely unharmed, although they may not remain that way for long."
"What do you mean?" Timothy worriedly asked.
The alien motioned them in its direction, and the two reluctantly followed.
The alien led Claire and Timothy to a room, vacant except for a large pool in the center.
Timothy gasped and said, "Claire, look up!"
Taped to the ceiling were the other five contestants, and Curmi.
"We need to get them out of here!" Claire determined.
The alien chuckled, "Oh, no, I can't let you do that."
Timothy: (confessional) I just realized... We're talking to an alien. (pinches self repeatedly)
"What? Why?" Claire squeaked, looking at Brandon, who wriggled around.
The alien explained, "See, that pool here is filled with gallons of boiling hot apple juice."
Timothy looked at the alien, then at the pool. "... Apple juice?"
"Yes, apple juice," the alien irritatedly repeated. "It's what our species thrives on. The juice can only be consumed at 700 degrees Fahrenheit."
Claire pointed out, "It would have evaporated by the time it got to 212."
The alien snapped, "Silence, human! Science does not apply here. We need your 'friends' for our juice festival held every millennium in honor of our leader. It requires six human sacrifices and, well, a ton of apple juice."
Claire: (confessional) Juice festival?
Timothy: (confessional) This can't be real.
Timothy curiously poked the alien, who hissed. "Stop that!"
Timothy poked it again, and saw that he had left a deep wound.
"Hey, Claire, poke him! He's like a big piece of Jell-O!" Timothy giggled.
Claire also poked the alien and laughed. "Oh, wow, this is fun."
The alien panicked. "No, no! What are you doing? Stop!"
As Claire and Timothy literally poked fun at the alien, Angie, still wriggling in place, managed to use her tongue to remove the tape covering her mouth.
She craned her neck lower and ripped off the tape covering her body with her teeth. "I've done this before."
The contestants looked at her strangely as she removed the remainder of the tape from her body and fell to the ground. "Your turn!"
The alien took notice and managed to escape Claire and Timothy's poke fest. "Enough! No one may escape!"
"Or what?" Angie asked, trying to stall for the others.
The alien paused. "Um. I'll... send a signal to my home planet for backup!"
"Wait, you're alone here?" Claire asked in disbelief.
The alien frowned. "I'm not very popular."
Claire groaned. "Let's get out of here, guys."
The alien shouted, "No! No! Don't leave! C'mon! I have a wife and four kids to feed! They'll kill me if I don't bring anything!"
The other contestants had escaped their barriers and continued to walk away with Claire.
"So, how do we get out of here?" Luke asked, peeling the last bits of tape off himself.
Sydney shrugged. "Maybe we just have to--"
The platform underneath them suddenly retracted, and all eight of them fell back outside, landing on the roof of the RV.
Caitlin grinned. "Oh, there you guys are. Well, let's start the challenge!"
The contestants groaned, and Curmi found a note in his pocket.
He pulled it out and gave it to Caitlin.
She read aloud, "Petty humans. If you are reading this, you have most likely escaped my grasp and your silent blonde friend has searched his trouser pockets. You have not seen the last of my kind. I will return! Sincerely, Fred."
"... Fred?" Angie laughed.
Caitlin blinked. "Where were you guys?"
Brendon quickly recapped, "Well, there was this UFO that captured all of us, then we were in some room, and we all had to kill each other, so, we killed off Luke, then someone took Brandon, then they thought it was me, then someone took Angie, then we found out it was Sydney, but it wasn't really her, so then Claire and Timothy started touching an alien, and then Angie fell off the ceiling, and now we're here."
"Riiight," Caitlin blankly comprehended. "Well. Um. I guess that suffices as a challenge. According to your story, Claire, Timothy, and Angie saved the day, so, you three win immunity! The rest of you are up for elimination. I guess. I don't know."
Caitlin sat down in the RV and muttered, "I really am getting old."
Before elimination, Luke met up with Brendon.
Luke reminded him, "Vote for Sydney."
Brendon suddenly asked, "Actually, I was thinking, um, maybe we should vote for someone else."
"... Why?" Luke suspiciously asked.
Brendon stuttered, "Well, um, uh, Sydney's probably getting used to it now. If we vote someone else off, later, she'll think she's safe from us, when she isn't."
Luke, surprisingly, smiled. "Wow. Didn't know you had all that strategy in you!"
He patted Brendon on the back, who nervously chuckled.
"So, who did you have in mind?" Luke asked.
Brendon whispered something in Luke's ear, and he shrugged. "Alright, sure."
Brandon and Claire, getting ready for elimination, talked about the challenge.
"I honestly thought you were gone," Claire reminisced. "I got all crazy and said Brendon killed you, hehe."
Brandon laughed. "Wow. That was really brave of you, er, poking that alien."
Claire giggled, "Yeah, I guess so."
After a short silence, they quickly turned to each other and kissed, then turned away.
Angie looked at them from a distance, and said to herself, "That's so cute!"
Sitting on a chair beside her, Sydney suddenly said, "Didn't they want to vote you off a few challenges ago?"
"I totally forgot about that," Angie admitted. "Wait, how do you know about that?"
Sydney crossed her legs. "I have my sources. Anyways, I'm voting off Luke, he really needs to go. Are you in?"
Angie looked at Sydney, then at Brandon and Claire. "Ummm..."
Caitlin called, "Elimination time, people! Cast your vote, then head on out here!"
At the elimination ceremony, Caitlin held six candy bars in her hands.
Caitlin looked at each teen individually. "There are seven of you here. I only have six candy bars. The contestant who does not receive a candy bar, well, is eliminated. Same thing as the past."
She threw three candy bars to Angie, Timothy, and Claire. "Our winners of the evening!"
Claire: (confessional) Brandon told me to vote for Brendon.
Timothy: (confessional) Luke, I guess.
Angie: (confessional, says nothing for about four seconds)
Caitlin tossed another candy bar to Sydney. "You're safe, too, Sydney."
Sydney: (confessional) L-U-K-E.
Angie: (confessional, still remains silent)
Caitlin looked at the remaining three contestants and threw a candy bar to Luke. "Somehow, you're safe."
Sydney and Timothy glanced at each other, confused.
Luke: (confessional) I didn't know Brendon was actually a really strategic guy.
Caitlin paused. "The final candy bar goes to..."
Brandon and Brendon both closed their eyes.
She tossed the final candy bar to Brandon.
Brandon caught it, then asked, "Wait, am I safe, or is Brendon safe?"
"You aren't Brendon?" Caitlin frowned.
Brandon shook his head. "I'm Brandon..."
"And you said I was safe, but gave the candy bar to him," Brendon added.
Caitlin rubbed her temples. "Name migraine."
The two remained confused.
Caitlin looked at a piece of paper. "Okay, look, I have two votes for Luke, two votes for Brendon, and three votes for Brandon."
"Brandon!" Claire gasped. "No!"
Luke turned around. "Three votes?"
Caitlin nodded. "Yep."
Brandon stood up. "I mean, I guess I'm pretty proud to have made it this far. Seventh place is nothing to be ashamed of."
"Please don't make another annoying speech," Luke groaned.
Brandon glared at him as he lifted his luggage and left.
Caitlin paused. "Wait, so, who just got eliminated? You know what? It doesn't matter. All I know is we're down to our final six. Tune in next week to see another edge-of-your-seat episode of Total! Drama! Stardom!"
Chapter 21: What Happens in Vegas...
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our final seven, er, well, we were going to invade Area 51, steal some hidden government documents, exploit them to the public, and blackmail the President of the United States, but they ended up getting abducted by a UFO. Luckily, the alien was a total wuss, and they escaped unharmed. Angie, Claire, and Timothy won immunity, and when Brendon went all strategy-crazy, Brandon got the big ol' boot of shame. We're down to our final six! Yeah, we actually made it this far. Who will be eliminated in one of the most thrill-packed, risk-taking, most-likely-illegal episode yet?! Find out here! Only on this episode of Total! Drama! Stardom!"
"Whyyyy?!" Claire cried.
She buried she face in her pillow, wailing.
Sydney, sitting beside her, covered her ears with her hands.
Sydney: (confessional) If her and her little boyfriend were smart and voted Luke off, this wouldn't be happening! Now, he's still here, and Claire's making my eardrums bleed.
Claire continued to cry, and Sydney finally snapped, "Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, did your boyfriend get eliminated?" Claire sarcastically asked. "No, wait, Luke's still in the game."
Sydney gasped. "You did not go there!"
Claire smiled smugly, and Sydney pounced on her.
The two clawed and scratched at each other, when Luke and Brendon ran in.
Brendon asked, "What's with all the noise?"
He calmly looked down, then saw the girls pulling hair, clothing, and pretty much everything else.
"Go Claire!" Luke cheered. "Take her down! Knee her in the boobs!"
"That sounds painful," Brendon commented.
Luke looked up from the fight to Brendon. "A good catfight comes about once a year. Enjoy the show."
Brendon shrugged and took a seat, then yelled, "Kick her in the shins!"
Angie and Timothy, in another part of the RV, weren't able to hear the commotion.
Timothy, seemingly frustrated, asked, "Do you get it now?"
"Wait, so, I have to wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom?" Angie frowned.
"Yes," Timothy groaned.
Angie folded her arms. "What if I'm in a rush? Or the toilet's flooding?"
"Use hand sanitizer," Timothy replied, pointing to the bottle on his belt.
He gasped. "What the...?"
Timothy: (confessional, holding the bottle of hand sanitizer upside-down) It's empty. (taps bottle) Bone-dry. How is that possible? I refill this every morning. First someone decides to take the whole belt, now they're just emptying the whole thing out!
Angie grabbed a pillow. "So, this has bacteria all over it?"
Timothy cringed and responded, "Covered in it."
"Cool," Angie smiled, rubbing the pillow over her face.
Timothy looked at her for a while, confused, amused, and disgusted, all at the same time, then turned away.
Brendon gasped. "Guys! Look out the window!"
Claire and Sydney stood up with their hair in complete disarray.
The six contestants all cheered as they looked outside.
"Yep, we're here!" Caitlin smiled.
Brendon: (confessional, singing) Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaaa! Las Vegaaaaaaaaaaaaaas! (From outside, Sydney shouts, "Shut up!")
Angie: (confessional) I've never been to Vegas before. I hope we don't wind up like the guys in that French movie, Le Hangover. (receives a whisper) ... The movie wasn't in French?
Sydney: (confessional, arms folded) I used to live here. It's nothing but annoying tourists who think they can win millions of dollars by spending weeks in casinos that are made to rip you off.
Timothy: (confessional) I've got to be extra-careful around here. Did you know that the average Las Vegas casino has over forty-three thousand people use the same soup ladle at the food court?
Claire: (confessional, fixing hair) Vegas! Wow, this sounds fun. I just wish Brandon were here. We could get married by the waterfall... Wait, that's Niagara Falls, never mind.
Luke: (confessional) Las Vegas, huh? This should be pretty interesting.
The final six stood before the Big Bet Casino, with Caitlin.
Suddenly, Caitlin asked, "Anyone know where Curmi is?"
Claire pointed to the left. "I think he went over there."
"There's nothing on that street except for a liquor store and a police station," Caitlin said, looking intently. "Eh, whatever. We're in Vegas, people!"
The teens cheered, but Caitlin quieted them down. "Shhh! Remember. You guys are sixteen. Not allowed to legally gamble."
They all groaned, but Caitlin winked. "I've gotten you guys some fake ID's for challenge-purposes only."
"You're a great role model," Luke snickered.
"I try," Caitlin grinned. "Anyways, here are your fake ID's. You all have different names, so, uh, yeah, make sure you don't use your real name."
Sydney looked at her ID. "Jane Smith. Original."
"My name is George Harrison," Brendon read. "That makes me feel like an eighty-year-old."
Angie squinted at her ID. "LaQuisha Jones? Ew."
Luke scoffed, "You guys are lucky. At least your name isn't Puck Porter. That sounds like a disease."
Claire gagged, "Eugenia Z. Apricot? What the heck? Where did you get these names from?"
"The Yellow Pages," Caitlin admitted.
Luke grimaced, "No one uses those anymore."
Angie peered over at Timothy's ID. "Olaf Kergon? Oh my gosh, are you a pirate?"
"That explains why my picture has a poorly-drawn eye patch on it," Timothy realized.
Caitlin remembered, "Oh, right."
She placed an eye patch over Timothy's head. "There we go."
"Why do I have to be visually impaired, and everyone else gets to be fine?" Timothy complained.
Timothy: (confessional, messing with his eye patch) I bet I've already caught an infection.
Caitlin clapped her hands for attention. "Alrighty, guys, you've got your alter-egos. Now. For this challenge, I've decided to split you up into two trios; guys against girls."
The males indifferently shrugged, while Claire and Sydney glared each other down.
"What exactly is your challenge?" Caitlin asked herself. "See this casino? You'll have to break into their top-notch security safe down in the basement, and meet me back here with fifty grand."
Everyone gasped, and Caitlin assured, "Don't worry, I consulted the casino, they know it's a challenge. You'll still have to pretend you're actually breaking into it, though. Don't get caught by security, or you'll be thrown out, and your team will have to start all over again."
Luke cracked his knuckles. "Alright, then, let's get some cash."
"Not so fast, hotshot," Caitlin stopped. "I'm not done. There are two doors to the safe, and each group will go to their own. It's a simple combination lock. It needs three numbers. How are you supposed to find out what those numbers are? There are six hidden clue numbers inside the casino that will help you out. It's your job to find them. You've got one hour to go in the casino and look around to find your number. Here's a big hint. The girls' numbers are all even, and the guys' numbers are all odd."
Timothy probed. "Are you trying to say that males are strange?"
Caitlin glared at him. "Don't go gender-zilla on me. Meet me back here with your numbers, and I'll give your groups the equipment to break into the casino's vault. Questions?"
She looked around and nodded. "Good. Get going, people! Remember, only one hour."
Claire walked over to the roulette wheel.
She accidentally bumped into a female, and apologized, "Oh, I'm sorry."
The woman assured, "Oh, no worries, I'm fine."
"So, has anybody won yet?" Claire asked.
The woman frowned. "Not yet. The wheel seems to land on the numbers seven and eight an awful lot, though. And every time I bid on one of them, it lands on the other!"
"Seven and eight, huh?" Claire smiled.
The wheel spun again, beginning the new round, and the ball spun around the wheel at full throttle.
After a few seconds, the wheel slowed down, along with the ball, and it landed in the "8" pocket.
"Shoot!" The woman cried. "I put my money down for seven!"
The woman turned around, and Claire was no longer standing beside her. "Why do they always leave?!"
Brendon excitedly wandered around the casino.
"Oooh, I've seen that before!" Brendon grinned.
He pointed to a card game. "And that!"
Suddenly, he saw a row of slot machines.
Brendon: (confessional) I have this thing with slot machines where I always win. Like, I might not get the jackpot, but I always win something.
He scurried over to the slot machine and took a seat.
He giggled, "My first Vegas slot machine!"
Brendon pulled a quarter out from his pocket and began to insert it, but stopped.
He read the label, which said, "19 cents per play. Exact change only."
"Nineteen cents?" Brendon questioned. "That's such a weird number. Who's going to have nineteen cents on them? In exact change?"
Suddenly, he gasped, then grinned, and stood up.
Sydney took a seat beside an overweight blonde man.
"Hello, little lady," the man greeted, with a British accent. "My name is Patrick Wells. What's your name? Sydney began, "I'm, um..."
She turned away to look at her ID, then finished, "... Jane Smith."
"Really?" Patrick said, looking at her strangely. "Well, Jane Smith, it's nice to meet you."
"Same, I guess," Sydney insincerely said. "So, poker, huh?"
Patrick nodded. "Indeed. The jackpot's a whopping twenty-two million dollars.
Sydney raised an eyebrow. "Twenty-two?"
"Indeed," Patrick repeated.
"How long has it been twenty-two million?" Sydney asked, now interested.
Patrick counted on his fingers, "Three weeks and a day."
Sydney pursed her lips.
Sydney: (confessional) Math was... never my strong suit.
"Strangely, that's also twenty-two days!" Patrick chortled.
Sydney stood up. "Well, that's all I needed. See ya, Patrick Walls."
"Wells," Patrick corrected as Sydney walked away.
Luke left the exchange counter with his hands full of chips.
Luke: (confessional) I keep a wad of emergency money just in case something as... tragic as this occurs.
He took a seat at a blackjack table and dropped two thousand dollars' worth of chips. "I'm in."
The dealer looked at him. "And who are you?"
Luke stared at the dealer with a straight face and replied, "Puck Porter."
"Alright, then," the dealer shrugged.
The cards were dealt, and the players all simultaneously said, "Hit me."
The dealer dealt one more card to each player, and as they turned them around, the players all groaned.
"Busted with a twenty-five," one woman stated.
"Eight, six, and a Jack," another woman read.
"Same here," a man echoed.
"Huh, me too," Luke noticed. "Twenty-five..."
Luke left the table with the rest of his chips.
Angie eagerly walked to the food court.
She gasped in awe at the large variety of foods available.
A heavy-set African-American woman beside her wiped a tear. "Ain't it beautiful?"
"Yep," Angie nodded, still basking in the glory of all the food.
"I ain't never seen that much steak in my life," the woman added.
Angie nodded again. "Me neither."
"What's yo' name, girl?" the woman curiously asked.
Angie quickly looked at her ID for reference, and replied, "LaQuisha Jones."
The woman gasped. "Sister! Wha'chu doin' over here in Vegas?"
Angie's eyes widened and she pointed behind the woman. "Look! The waiters are adding a new batch of fried chicken to the table!"
The woman shrieked, "OH, SNAP!"
She turned around and sped to the waiter, while Angie breathed a sigh of relief.
Angie continued to walk through, and saw a sign that read, "We've got thirty-four types of meat! Thirty-four types of cheese! Thirty-four types of salad! Thirty-four types of fruit! You name it! We've got it!"
She passed by it, then quickly took a second look. "Oh. Got it."
Timothy quickly tried to evade the ever-growing crowd of gamblers.
"I've just got to find that clue, and I'm out of here," he muttered to himself.
He suddenly bumped into a noticeably short male.
The male complained, "Hey, cool your jets, bro!"
Timothy frowned. "I don't have any jets to cool, nor am I related to you."
The male, confused, mumbled, "Huh? Wha?"
"Hey, you kind of look like someone I know," Timothy noticed. "Do you know a kid named Mitchell? A little shorter than you?"
"That dork is my little brother," the male matter-of-factly stated. "He was on some show and got voted off like, third. What a twerp!"
Timothy laughed, "Yeah, I'm on the show too. Right now."
Mitchell's brother gasped. "Really?"
He found a camera and waved. "Hi, mom! Hey, loser. I'm Michael! And I'm forty-seven inches tall! Which is two inches taller than my baby brother!"
As Michael burst into unrelatable laughter, Timothy paused. "forty-seven inches? I think I'm done here."
The six teens all met up together outside the casino.
Caitlin held two large bags. "Alrighty, then! You guys ready for some fun?"
"Not really," Luke yawned. Caitlin glared at him as she tossed one bag to Brendon, and the other to Sydney. "In these bags are everything you need to break into the vault. You've got fully-black outfits, grappling hooks, smoke bombs... the everyday kind of stuff."
Sydney nodded. "Right, because I totally need to carry one or two smoke bombs with me on my trip to the mall." "You know what I mean," Caitlin sighed.
Sydney shook her head, "No, not really."
"Break into the dang casino, already!" Caitlin barked. "Entrance to the basement is all the way in the back, by the bathrooms. First team back wins immunity from tonight's vote."
The teens stood by the bathrooms.
"Where is the entrance supposed to be?" Sydney asked, searching.
Brendon shrugged. "Well, maybe since the teams are split by gender, the entrances are in the separate bathrooms."
Luke: (confessional) When did he get so smart all of a sudden?
"Makes sense," Luke nodded. "C'mon, guys, let's bust that bank."
Sydney corrected, "It's a vault, genius."
Luke snapped, "No one asked you, Jane!"
The males and females went into their respective bathrooms.
In the girls' bathroom, Angie, Claire, and Sydney ran into the stalls and changed into their spy gear.
In the boys' bathroom, Luke, Timothy, and Brendon did the same.
Suddenly, Timothy whined, "I doubt these have been washed."
"Just put it on!" Luke hastily whispered.
A middle-aged man listened to the conversation, confused. "Are you kids okay in there?"
Brendon stuttered, "Um, yeah! We're.. just... trying on hats."
"In a bathroom stall?" the man asked, bewildered.
Luke added, "They're, uh, embarrassing hats. Wouldn't want to be in public with them."
The man nodded. "Oh, that's happened to me before."
He walked out of the bathroom and the boys breathed an awkward sigh of relief.
Back in the ladies' restroom, the girls exited the stalls, now fully clothed in black, with all sorts of tools and such attached to their belt.
"We look so official," Angie giggled.
"Now, where is that entrance?" Sydney thought aloud.
Claire slipped on a puddle of water and fell in a toilet, hitting the flush handle.
Angie laughed, "Bahaha!"
Claire stood up, drying herself off. "That's not funny!"
"Hey, guys, look at this," Sydney said, pointing to the tiled wall. "The wall has a crack in it."
Claire, wiping herself with paper towels, mumbled, "Yeah, so? It's a Vegas casino bathroom, who knows what goes down here?"
Sydney pointed to the crack. "It's shaped like a dollar sign."
"How is that supposed to help?" Claire asked, still very annoyed.
During the conversation, Angie had unscrewed the hinges from the door of a stall, and she then charged at the wall, using the door as a battering ram.
The wall collapsed, and a long, narrow hallway was revealed to be behind it.
"There we go," Angie smiled, satisfied.
Angie: (confessional) My mom said I'm a "shut-the-heck-up-and-get-to-the-point" kind of person. I guess that's a good thing.
The males finally finished changing into their clothing.
"Why are these so tight?" Luke complained, stretching.
Brendon grinned. "I like it! I feel like a rubber band."
He wiggled around, amused.
Timothy scanned the bathroom. "I can't stand public restrooms."
"The one in the RV is technically public," Luke pointed out.
"Yeah, but I sanitize the toilet seats daily," Timothy added. Brendon: (confessional, adjusting himself in his seat) That explains that rash...
Luke looked around the bathroom. "Where's the alleged entrance?"
Timothy cringed. "I don't know, but let's find it quick. Just look at how disgusting these walls are."
"Why is there a dollar sign on it?" Brendon squinted.
Timothy paced around. "I don't know, maybe it's just Vegas decor."
"Or the entrance to the vault," Luke speculated. "Let's knock it down."
Brendon's eyes widened. "We can't just knock over a wall!"
Luke laughed, "Sure we can. Watch."
He playfully shoved Brendon towards the wall, and knocked it over, revealing a hallway. "Piece of cake!"
Brendon stood up and dusted himself off. "Yeah, um, right, uh, cool."
The girls cautiously patrolled through the hallway, and they reached the end, which was the entrance to a large, empty room, with another hallway at the other end.
"Um, okay, then," Angie blinked. "There's a random room in the way."
Sydney squinted. "There's a button all the way on the opposite wall."
Claire gasped. "Oh my gosh!"
She unclipped a bottle from her belt and sprayed it, revealing an enormous array of red lasers.
"I knew it!" Claire stomped.
Angie furrowed her eyebrows. "Which one of us is the most, uh, bendable? I'm not. Believe me."
Angie: (confessional) One time, in P.E. class, all the girls had to try and lift their leg as high as possible. I couldn't do it, so I failed that part of the test. Later, I found out the coach was actually a total creeper and made up that part.
"And I don't think Sydney can do it," Angie added.
Sydney, offended, asked, "Oh, really? Why not?"
Angie pointed to her chest. "Those might get in the way."
Sydney gasped and folded her arms. "Fine. Claire can do it."
The girls turned around, and Sydney looked around. "... Claire?"
Suddenly, the lasers shut off, and Claire waved from the other side. "Done!"
Sydney and Angie shrugged and advanced to the next hallway with Claire.
The guys reached the large room and looked around.
"Weird," Luke mumbled.
Timothy covered his eyes and looked at the other side of the room. "There's a button."
Brendon giggled, "Oooh, let's push it!"
He began to take a step, but Luke stopped him. "You don't just go around pushing buttons all willy-nilly!"
"Oh, oh, gosh, I'm gonna sneeze," Timothy anticipated. "Ah... ah... ACHOO!" <r> He sneezed in front of him, and a random red ray or light appeared. "What the?"
"Hang on a moment," Luke said, narrowing his eyes.
Brendon gasped. "Those look like those weird lasers in spy movies!"
Luke nodded. "That's right. I'm guessing that button over there deactivates it. One of us needs to get through these lasers and hit it."
"So, one of us has to get it," Timothy realized.
Brendon and Luke looked at each other, then pointed to Timothy.
Timothy gasped. "No way!"
In his defense, he accidentally stepped backwards and activated a laser, and a loud alarm began to ring.
Three large security guards, fully dressed in white, ran to the boys.
Timothy shrieked, then unclipped a strange green bottle from his belt and sprayed them.
The security guards were knocked unconscious.
"I didn't know Caitlin gave us that," Luke remarked.
"Yeahhh, Caitlin gave us that," Timothy nervously giggled.
Suddenly, Timothy grabbed Luke and Brendon's hands and ran through the room of security lasers. "They're already coming for us, might as well."
The three reached the other end of the room, then walked through the next hallway.
Angie ran into something metal and cringed. "Ow! Watch where you're going!"
She looked up and realized it was the vault entrance. "Oh."
Sydney clapped. "Eee!"
"Ew, it's a combination lock," Claire noticed.
Sydney ran towards it. "I'm a master at these. Tell me your numbers. Mine was twenty-two."
"Thirty-four," Angie remembered.
"Eight," Claire chimed.
Sydney twisted the knob, then realized, "Wait, I don't know the order. This might be a while."
The males reached the vault entrance, panting.
"Quick, quick, quick, numbers!" Luke hastily said.
Timothy stuttered, "Uhhh, um, er, forty-seven."
Brendon quickly stated, "Nineteen."
Luke began to twist the knob, but Brendon paused. "Maybe it was eighteen...? Or seventeen. I mean, I'm kind of sure it's nineteen, I'm just..."
Luke stomped his foot. "Pick a number!"
"Okay! Nineteen!" Brendon shouted, exasperated.
Luke suddenly groaned. "Crap. I don't know the order for these numbers. I'll just have to try every way."
Suddenly, in a split-screen moment, Sydney and Luke both grinned. "Got it!"
Both of them opened their door revealing the vault.
"We won!" Luke cheered.
"No, we did," Sydney scoffed.
"Who the (censored) are you clowns?" a voice boomed.
The teens all noticed a group of four men in dark clothing, already in the vault.
"What?" Sydney asked.
"Huh?" Brendon questioned. "Hi!" Angie grinned.
One of the men spoke up. "We're robbing this dump. You came a little late to the party. We're cleaning this place out."
Another man realized, "Which would leave you guys with nothing but police info. So..."
He and an accomplice pulled out guns and pointed them to the groups. "Looks like you clowns are hostages."
The contestants all gulped and stood with their hands up, as the screen faded into black, except for the words, "To Be Continued..." at the bottom of the screen.
Chapter 22: ... Stays in Vegas
The episode picked up immediately from the point that it ended, with the teens standing with guns aimed at them by the real thieves.
"Well? Sit down!" one barked, motioning the contestants to the wall.
The final six reluctantly obeyed, walking alongside the edge of the vault and sitting down.
Two of the men were shoving the remains of the vault's money in a large duffel bag as another watched the kids.
"You amateurs really think you were gonna get away with this?" he laughed.
Luke rolled his eyes. "We're part of a reality TV show. This was a fixed thing."
One of them snickered. "Looks like those ratings just dropped tenfold."
"This is so bogus," Sydney groaned.
After a few minutes, Claire looked at her nails and gasped. "My manicure!"
Angie suddenly noticed her hair. "Ew, I'm getting split ends."
Sydney shifted around. "My butt's too small for these jeans."
"Ew," the boys cringed.
"Will you people stop complaining?" a thief snapped.
Luke snapped back, "Will you hurry up? We need to get back to the RV and vote off Sydney."
Sydney stuck her tongue out at Luke, who winked back.
The thief pointed a gun to Luke. "You got somethin' to say, punk?"
Luke coughed. "Dude, toothpaste. Ever heard of it?"
Claire warned, "I don't think you should--"
"I like this kid," the thief nodded approvingly. "Wanna join us?"
"Maybe some other time," Luke assured.
Luke: (confessional) Well, now I know who to call when I need some extra money.
"Alright, we're out of here," one of the thieves declared.
Timothy stuttered, "You're gonna leave us here!?"
Brendon panicked, "You can't just lock us in here to die!"
Timothy and Brendon hugged each other and screamed.
"Gah!" a thief shouted, covering his ears. "Shut up!"
Brendon and Timothy continued to scream, and the thief shot at the ceiling.
They stopped, and he stated, "Fine. We'll keep you as hostages. Follow us into the van."
"I guess that's better," Sydney shrugged.
"How can you be so calm?" Claire asked in disbelief. "Caitlin's probably worried sick about us, again. Curmi's nowhere to be found, and who knows what they'll do with us?"
Sydney paused. "Well, when you put it like that..."
"Move it!" the thieves interrupted.
The six contestants and the five thieves all entered the narrow hallway again.
Timothy noticed the lasers.
Timothy: (confessional) If I can activate them again, maybe we can get security to handle these goons.
"How are we supposed to make it past this crap?" a thief muttered.
"I can get across," Timothy offered.
Luke looked at him suspiciously, and Timothy walked forward.
The thieves chatted for a few seconds, then nodded. "But if you try any funny stuff..."
One of them imitated a gunshot and Timothy froze.
Angie noticed, and she suddenly cut in, "Actually, I'll do it."
Timothy whispered, "What are you doing?"
"Don't worry about it, I've seen a lot of movies!" Angie assured, beginning to contort her body around the lasers.
At one point, Angie bent down, poking out her rear end.
Luke raised an eyebrow. "Hmm..."
Timothy noticed him and mumbled, "Such a stupid jerk."
"What was that?" Luke quickly asked.
"I said that Angie's 'doing a lot of work'," Timothy lied.
Finally, Angie reached the other side and hit the button, deactivating all the lasers.
The group walked through the rest of the hallway and reached the exit.
Brendon poked his head through the exit and giggled, "We're in the girls' bathroom."
A woman using the bathroom noticed him and shrieked.
"No, wait, don't worry!" Brendon said, trying to calm her down. "I'm not trying to--"
The woman began beating Brendon with her purse.
"Ow, ow, ow!!" Brendon grunted.
The rest of the group snuck by behind him, and finally, Brendon rushed out.
The woman shook her fist on the air, shouting, "Perv!"
Now in the main casino lobby, a thief muttered, "Act natural."
Timothy began speaking at an unusually loud volume. "So, guys, where should we go next?"
Claire also did so. "Oh, um, I don't know, let's just walk around."
"Sure, sounds like a super-awesome-fun time," Brendon stuttered.
Brendon: (confessional) "Super-awesome-fun time?" (smacks his forehead)
The group strolled out of the casino, as Timothy nervously grinned at the security guards.
One of the guards stopped them. "What's in those bags?"
The thieves, at a loss of words, said nothing.
"They robbed the casino and the bags are full of money!" Brendon quickly said, then covered his mouth.
The guard looked at the bags, and one of the thieves knocked him over the head with it. "Run!"
The thieves lead the teens to their van.
While running, Luke asked, "Really, Brendon? Really?"
"I don't know!" Brendon frowned. "And, my name isn't Brendon, it's George Harrison. My fake ID says so."
The eleven of them piled into the van.
"I feel like a criminal," Claire uncomfortably said.
"Welcome to the club," a thief muttered, rolling his eyes.
The engine began revving, and the driver warned, "Hold on to something, this'll be a bumpy ride."
Timothy held on to Angie, who held on to Claire, who held on to Sydney, who reluctantly held on to Luke, who held on to Brendon, who held on to the back of the driver's seat.
The van zoomed through the streets of Las Vegas, with police vehicles chasing behind them.
"Where are we going?!" Sydney asked.
The driver made a sharp right turn and answered, "Hawaii."
Brendon gasped. "No way, us too!"
"How are you supposed to drive to Hawaii?" Luke asked.
One of the thieves scoffed. "The bridge. Duh."
"... There isn't a bridge to Hawaii," Claire pointed out.
The car stopped.
The driver asked, "... Really?"
"Yeah, there's no bridge," Claire laughed.
One of the thieves pursed his lips. "This is awkward."
A gunshot hit the back of the van from a police car, followed by a voice that shouted, "Release the kids or we will continue to shoot!"
The driver slammed on the gas again, and the van began to speed off.
"Alright, Plan B," one of the thieves said, "We'll go to the airport, and fly to Hawaii."
Angie: (confessional) I could do a better job at robbing a casino.
The police cars behind them began blaring their sirens.
"I'm gonna go to jail," Claire panicked. "I'm going to be the only nice girl there. Then they'll throw rocks at me. And eventually, I'll cave into the pressure and join a prison gang."
Sydney corrected, "Okay, the police guys know we aren't guilty, and how did any of that come to mind?"
Before Claire could answer, the back door of the van swung open.
The contestants all flew outside of the van, with Brendon holding on to the bumper, and everyone else hanging on to his legs.
"Don't let go, Brendon!" Sydney ordered.
Brendon responded, "Is that an option?"
The van made a very sharp turn, and it sent the contestants flying into the window of an abandoned house.
The first one to notice was Angie, who asked aloud, "Where are we?"
Timothy cringed. "This place is dustier than Luke's suitcases."
Luke mumbled, "My suitcases are fine..."
"You didn't check the corners," Timothy matter-of-factly said.
An overweight grey-haired man walked into the room that the teens were in.
He paused, then smiled. "Want to join us for dinner?"
No one spoke, except for Angie who nodded. "Sure!"
Angie: (confessional) I never reject free food. Sometimes, I go to the mall just try out the free samples at the food court.
As they walked through a hallway, Luke muttered to Angie, "Are you sure this is a good idea?"
"My stomach is pretty sure," Angie replied.
Claire whispered, "Didn't your parents ever tell you not to talk to strangers?"
Angie frowned. "But he's offering us food."
Timothy: (confessional) First we're held at gunpoint as hostages, now we're potential kidnapping victims. This day just keeps getting better and better.
They reached what was apparently the dining room, which contradicted the dusty, abandoned look of the house.
The mahogany table was extraordinarily long, filled with Italian food from end to end.
About forty seats were situated around it, with more overweight, grey-haired men occupying every seat except seven.
The contestants, and the man that led them there, all took a seat.
Brendon mumbled, "So, um..."
"Is that fettuccini?" Angie asked curiously, pointing to a plate.
"How can you be so calm?" Sydney nervously whispered.
The man sitting at the very end of the table, who was dressed for a much more formal occasion, asked, "So, are these today's recruits?"
"... What?" Luke blinked as the man that led them nodded.
The formally-dressed man stood up. "You're part of our group now."
Sydney unsurely asked, "Like... a gang?"
"No, no, not a gang," the man said, shaking his head.
"It's Italian food," Luke pointed out. "This must be some kind of mafia clan or something."
The men all gasped.
The man who had led the contestants into the room bit his lip. "You used the word."
The formally-dressed man pulled his blazer to the side, revealing a gun.
Sydney noticed and her eyes widened. "Well, we'd love to stay and enjoy this amazing dinner, but, uh, we've got to go."
"Leaving in the middle of dinner?" the man asked. "Disrespectful."
"You disrespected him, Sydney!" Brendon nervously repeated.
Sydney stuttered, "I, uh, I didn't mean to!"
Angie squinted her eyes across the table. "Hey, aren't you guys the ones that were in the van--"
Before anyone could say anything, a loud explosion blew open one of the walls of the dining room.
Curmi, dressed in full police attire, lead an enormous group of police officers inside.
"Get 'em, boys!" Curmi barked.
The contestants all gasped.
Sydney: (confessional) Curmi's a cop?
Luke: (confessional) He speaks?
Timothy: (confessional) He... but... what... I...
Angie: (confessional) I'm still wondering if that was fettuccini...
Shots began to fire, and the teens all ducked underneath the table.
After a few minutes of yelling, thumping, and more, Curmi looked under the table, scaring them all. "You guys okay?"
Brendon poked Curmi. "Are you okay?"
"Better than ever," Curmi smiled.
"Okay, who are you?" Sydney demanded.
Curmi sighed. "Follow me."
He led the six of them to the RV, where Caitlin was.
Curmi sat down on the curb of the sidewalk. "I'm obviously not 'Curmi the Intern.' I'm a police officer. We've been trying to track down this gang for months. They've stolen over fifty billion dollars from casinos all over the world."
He continued, "We were over in North Carolina when our chopper got attacked. I was separated from my division with no way of contacting them."
"So, when I found out you guys were on a cross-country trip," Curmi said, pointing to Caitlin and the RV, "I took the opportunity. I knew you guys were more-than-likely going to hit Vegas at some point, and that's what the gang has been planning for years. Hitting these large Vegas casinos."
Claire gasped. "I knew I saw you heading toward that police station!"
Curmi nodded. "Yep."
"Wait a minute," Luke noticed, "Why didn't you just let us know in the first place, and contact a police division in some other city we stopped by?"
"I didn't want to make the investigation public," Curmi replied. "And, I'll admit, it was pretty funny watching these challenges."
Caitlin folded her arms, then suddenly asked, "Wait. Then... What's your real name?"
The contestants all murmured, and Curmi responded, "Oh. Right. My real name is--"
A police vehicle passed by the contestants and honked, and an officer inside gestured for Curmi to enter.
"Ah, sorry guys," Curmi frowned. "I've got to go."
"What? No!" Timothy pleaded.
Curmi promised, "I'll be back for the finale in Hawaii."
"You ain't goin' to no Hawaii," an officer scolded.
"I'm the chief, I can do whatever I want," Curmi shot back.
He turned back to the contestants. "Well, see you guys soon."
As the car drove off, Sydney whispered to Angie, "Was I the only one that thought he was kinda hot?"
Caitlin shrugged. "Alright. Elimination time."
"You... you can't be serious," Luke stated.
Timothy listed, "We were held at gunpoint in a casino vault, held as hostages, nearly got shot in a high-speed police chase, were pretty much kidnapped by mafia members, and just found out that our favorite intern is gone."
Caitlin pursed her lips. "Do any of those reasons make you incapable of casting a vote in the confessional?"
The contestants all groaned.
"Do any of us win immunity?" Luke curiously asked.
Caitlin nodded. "Actually, yes. Immunity goes to the three of you that managed to keep your cool for most of the situation."
She pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket.
"... Really?" Sydney laughed.
Caitlin narrowed her eyes at her as she read, "Angie, Luke, and Sydney. You three are all safe from tonight's vote."
Angie shrugged as Luke and Sydney glared at each other.
"Brendon, Timothy, Claire," Caitlin continued, "One of you is going home tonight. Cast your votes."
Brendon protested, "I did a good job! I think."
Caitlin let out a small giggle. "Yeah. Right. 'Super-awesome-fun-time'? And then you ratted them out? Maybe in a different lifetime, George Harrison."
The elimination ceremony began shortly after.
Caitlin held five wads of money in her hands.
"Is that real?" Angie gasped.
Caitlin laughed. "No, it's Monopoly money."
Angie's expression dropped in disappointment.
"Anyways, Luke, Sydney, Angie, you guys are all immune, so here you go," Caitlin began, tossing the wads of fake money.
Brendon, Claire, and Timothy all nervously looked at each other.
Luke: (confessional) Brendon's out of the question, so it was between Claire and Timothy. It honestly came down to which was more annoying. And that meant Timothy.
Angie: (confessional) Timothy's adorable, and Brendon's too nice. I had to vote for Claire.
Sydney: (confessional) From a strategic standpoint, my vote had to go to Claire. She's a huge threat challenge-wise.
"The next wad of cash goes to Brendon," Caitlin said, piling on the tension.
Brendon: (confessional) It was tough choosing between Claire and Timothy, but I did what I had to do.
Caitlin tossed the last wad of money from hand to hand. "Claire, Timothy, you both received a fair amount of votes."
"There's only six of us," Sydney pointed out.
Caitlin ignored her. "Claire. You're capable of pretty much anything. I wouldn't want to be stuck in the finals with you."
Claire gulped and looked at Sydney, who grinned menacingly.
Caitlin shifted her glance. "Timothy. Not as strong of a competitor, but, the cleaning, man... You've got to cut it out."
Timothy nervously chewed on a tissue.
"But, in the end, the final wad of cash goes to Claire."
Claire caught it in glee. "Yes!"
She turned to Timothy. "Oh, um, sorry."
Timothy stood up. "It's okay. I'm just glad I made it this far. Sixth place, woohoo?"
Angie frowned. "Aw, Timothy!"
"Angie... before I go," Timothy stuttered, "I..."
"Yeah?" Angie asked.
Timothy bit his lip. "I like your shirt."
Angie looked down. "Oh. Thanks. I got it on sale."
Timothy walked off with his luggage and hailed a taxi.
Caitlin put her hands on her hips and looked at the remaining contestants. "Wow. We're down to five. Sydney, Brendon, Claire, Luke, and Angie. Tune in next time, for more laughs, more challenges, and more drama, only on Total! Drama! Stardom!"
Caitlin looked down on the ground. "Oh, Timothy left his eyepatch."
Chapter 23: Shameful Advertising
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, we managed to get to Vegas, baby! The final six were split up into a Battle of the Sexes casino robbery challenge. Although, they ended up running into some, er, actual casino thieves. Awkward. So, they were taken as hostages in a high-speed police chase, which wasn't planned, but was pretty awesome. Then they somehow got abducted by an Italian mafia gang or something. I really didn't pay that much attention. Curmi turned out to actually be a cop, and he saved their butts. But, now he's gone, and Timothy is, too! We're down to five, and I've never been happier to have so much empty space in the RV. Tune in to see who's going home next in this kick-butt episode of Total Drama Stardom!"
Angie filed her nails as she examined the RV, then sighed.
Angie: (confessional) It feels so weird not having Timothy scrubbing down the seats anymore.
Sydney turned to Angie and smiled, "You know what we should do?"
"Elope?" Brendon suggested, from across the RV.
Angie blinked. "Is that anything like a cantaloupe? Because I don't like cantaloupes. They're just wannabe melons."
Sydney shook her head. "Er, no. I was thinking that you and I should give each other mani-pedi's!"
Angie squealed and clapped, then confessed, "I don't know how to give someone a mani-pedi."
"I'll teach you," Sydney assured.
Sydney: (confessional) My mom's a make-up artist and dermatologist for A-List Hollywood celebrities. She makes me practice this kind of stuff with her all the time. It's a little annoying, but it keeps my nails in tip-top shape. (shows nails to camera, they sparkle) See? Flawless.
While Angie and Sydney moved to the back of the RV, Claire inched toward Brendon.
She mentioned, "Have we ever actually spoken to each other?"
Brendon gasped. "I don't think we have, Clara."
"It's... Claire," Claire corrected.
Brendon mumbled, "Oh, um, right."
Claire looked at the camera and mouthed, "Awkward."
Luke noticed them and stomped over to Claire. "What's this? Trying to convince him to vote me off?"
"Wow, dude, you are totally paranoid," Claire laughed.
"Paranoid?" Luke roared. "I'm the father bear protecting my cub!"
Brendon excitedly asked, "If you're my dad, does that mean Sydney's my mom?"
Luke's face turned pale as Claire began laughing hysterically.
The scene switched over to Angie and Sydney.
Sydney pulled out wads of tissues and small bottles of nail polish, then gestured to Angie.
Angie unsurely smiled. "Um. Right."
"Oh, I see," Sydney realized.
She rolled up her sleeves, leaned backwards, and closed her eyes.
Angie bit her lip, looked around, and left the area.
Sydney giggled, "Wow, you're really good, I can't feel anything."
About fifteen minutes later, Angie walked back into the room with a bag of chips, and Sydney clapped. "I love it!"
Angie laughed, "Oh. Um. Cool!"
Angie: (confessional) To whoever did that, thank you.
Brendon: (confessional, with some purple nail polish on his left cheek) I'm really excited for the next challenge.
Caitlin announced, "Everybody look to the left in three, two, one..."
The contestants all gasped as they saw the famous Hollywood sign.
Sydney: (confessional) Hollywood! These places just keep getting better and better.
Luke: (confessional) Let's hope we don't get kidnapped here, too.
The final five stood in front of a filming studio with Caitlin.
She clapped. "I think you guys deserve a round of applause for making it this far. We're this close to the end."
Caitlin grinned, "Now, I think you guys are gonna love this challenge."
"Are we making a movie?!" Brendon gasped.
Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Pffft. As if I'd be that predictable."
After a few awkward seconds, she confessed, "Okay, that was originally going to be the challenge. But, no. You five are each going to make your own commercial for a certain product."
Claire: (confessional) I was in a really bad mattress commercial once. All they did was film me while I pretended to sleep. Weirdest fifteen seconds of my life.
"What product?" Angie asked.
Caitlin pulled out her infamous hat with slips of paper inside of it. "Step right up!"
Angie grabbed a slip of paper and read, "'Mr. Newman's 100% Fat-Free Granola Bars.' My stomach hurts just reading it."
Sydney's read, "'Full Moon Toothpaste.' Um, okay, then."
"Oooh, my turn!" Brendon shrieked, rushing over to Caitlin.
He took a slip of paper and read, "'Softest Touch Baby Diapers.' Do I get my own baby?"
"... No," Caitlin responded, irritated.
As Brendon sighed, disappointed, Claire removed a slip of paper from the hat.
She gasped. "Oh, no. 'Drowsy Man's Mattress Company.'"
"Why the 'Oh, no'?" Caitlin asked.
Claire groaned. "No reason."
Luke was the last to take his piece of paper.
He laughed and slipped it into his pocket.
"What's so funny?" Sydney suspiciously asked.
Luke shook his head. "Oh, nothing, nothing."
Caitlin pointed to the studio. "Alright, then. You've all got your own stations with most or all of the supplies you might need. Here's the clinch. The contestant with the best commercial wins a special reward, while the contestant with the worst commercial will be automatically eliminated!"
"Sudden-death?" Brendon asked, shocked.
"Pretty much," Caitlin nodded. "Anyways, get going! First step is writing your own script for it, second step is actually filming it. Last step is editing. It's noon right now. I'll be back at six o' clock to see your, er, 'masterpieces'."
Sydney's station included papers and pencils, a bathroom set, a camera, and a laptop.
She cracked her knuckles. "Alrighty, then."
Sydney: (confessional) I'm actually surprised I made it this far. I mean, it's not like I've been doubting my abilities or anything, it's just that Luke's seemed to have a target on my back since Day 1. That alliance was as fake as Caitlin's hair.
She said aloud, "Maybe I should test the product or something before I start writing."
She squeezed a small dab of Full Moon Toothpaste on the prop toothbrush.
"Well, here we go," she shrugged.
She began brushing her teeth normally, while humming random songs.
Finally, she spit out the toothpaste and commented, "What's so different about this toothpaste? It's not even worth a commercial. The only difference it has is that it's really shiny."
"Wait a minute," she realized, "What if I..."
Sydney eagerly ran back and started writing the script.
Angie's station was comprised of the same things as Sydney's, except with a kitchen set instead of a bathroom.
"Hm," she began, noticing the granola bars on the counter.
Angie: (confessional) Does anyone actually enjoy eating granola bars? They taste like crap. I guess if I want to make it to the final four, I'll have to put up with it. I mean, I don't really like getting all competitive, but now that I've come this far, I really can't go back.
She reluctantly unwrapped a granola bar.
Angie sighed. "Might as well."
She took a miniscule bite, then spit it out. "It tastes like cardboard with peanuts!"
"Hey, Brendon!" she called.
Brendon, who was walking to his station, spun around. "Yes?"
Angie gave him a granola bar. "Try this."
He took a large bite, then coughed. "Wow, this is really dry."
He pulled a strip of cardboard out from his mouth.
They both looked at each other, not sure what to say.
Claire's station for Drowsy Man's Mattress Company included the essential tools, and a bedroom set.
She sat down on the bed. "Still lumpy."
Claire: (confessional) Yeah, I forgot to mention that the mattress sucked. It was so lumpy. But, I've got to suck it up. This is the final five. Besides, I'm not just winning this for me; I'm winning it for Brandon, too. (blows a kiss to the camera)
"This is a nice bedroom," she commented, looking around.
She noticed the closet. "Maybe there's clothes in there."
Claire walked to the closet and opened it.
A bearded man wearing a nun costume jumped out, and they panted, "Oh, thank you! I've been in there for weeks!"
The man paused. "They're coming!"
He ran off as Claire, speechless, stared at him.
Brendon, still recovering from the traumatic granola bar, walked to his station.
His station has the necessary materials, and a nursery set.
Brendon: (confessional) The final five! I didn't think this would actually happen! I have to thank Luke for bringing me this far. If we end up in the final two, I'd probably throw the game for him! (pauses) Well, actually, maybe not.
He noticed a fake baby in the prop crib.
"Oh, I do get a baby!" he grinned, picking it up.
The baby immediately started crying, and he dropped it.
The baby cried even louder, and Brendon panicked. "Uh, um..."
He nervously shoved the toy baby underneath a blanket, nearly silencing the cries.
"Maybe I don't need a baby," Brendon nervously chuckled.
Luke's station was the farthest from the entrance.
"Of course," he muttered.
Luke: (confessional) Thoughts on being in the final five? All I have to say is that I'd be surprised if I didn't make it this far.
Luke's station had a normal living room set, with two couches, a coffee table, and a flat-screen TV hanging off the wall opposite the couches.
He paused. "I'm sensing a pattern here. Bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, nursery room, living room?"
Luke shrugged. "Whatever. Making a commercial for a flat-screen TV should be easy as one-two-three."
He patted the TV, and it suddenly fell off the wall, leaving a visible hole in the center of the screen.
Luke gasped. "Holy (censored)!"
He kneeled down and lifted the TV back up, and he groaned. "Ugh. I can make do with this. Right?"
Luke turned to the camera. "... Right?"
Caitlin walked inside the studio and smiled. "Alright. Time to see these commercials."
The five contestants all returned from their stations.
They sat on a semi-circle couch around a TV, and Caitlin asked, "Alright, any comments on the challenge?"
"My granola bars were made of cardboard," Angie mentioned.
Brendon chimed, "My baby was pretty messed up."
Claire added, "There was a homeless nun in my closet."
Luke frowned. "My TV broke."
The four of them turned to Sydney, who shrugged. "I was fine."
Caitlin laughed. "Alright, then. Let's see how well Sydney fared without any apparent malfunctions."
She turned on the TV, and Sydney's commercial began to play.
Sydney walked into the bathroom in here pajamas, rubbing her eyes.
Her voice, in the background, asked, "Tired in the morning? Struggling to wake yourself up?"
She squeezed the tube of toothpaste, and the gleaming white toothpaste shone in the light.
Sydney's eyes widened, and she began to brush her teeth, now fully awake.
"Full Moon Toothpaste will wake you right up!" Sydney's voice happily said.
Sydney spit out the toothpaste and exhaled, smiling.
Sydney's voice ended, "Full Moon Toothpaste! Improves your mornings tenfold."
Caitlin scribbled some things down on a notepad.
Sydney impatiently asked, "Well...?"
"I'm saving it for the end!" Caitlin said, erasing something, then re-writing it. "Next, Brendon."
Brendon's commercial began with the fake baby on the floor, crying.
Brendon picked it up and whispered, "Shhhh, shhh, don't cry!"
He sniffed and cringed. "Oh, ew!"
Brendon's voice laughed. "Looks like someone needs a diaper change."
As Brendon began to change the baby's diaper, Brendon's voice stopped him. "Wait. Don't use that cheap bargain-brand diaper! Use these!"
A box of diapers suddenly hit Brendon in the face.
He picked them up and read, "Softest Touch Baby Diapers. Hm."
Brendon used the diapers on the baby, and it continued to cry, but Brendon grinned. "These feel so much softer!"
"They're more absorbent, too," Brendon's voice added.
Brendon smiled. "Thanks, voice!"
Caitlin bit her lip and wrote some notes down. "Okay, then. Angie!"
Angie's commercial began with her digging in the fridge.
She pulled out a loaf of bread and frowned. "Looks like I'm making a sandwich again."
She set the bread down and suddenly noticed the box of granola bars.
"Hm," Angie hummed.
She pulled out a granola bar and took a large bite.
"Holy granola!" Angie gasped.
Suddenly, the scene switched to Angie dressed up as an old man wearing a plaid kilt.
In a bad Irish accent, she nodded, "That's right, lassie! Mr. Newman's 100% Fat-Free Granola Bars! Healthy, and delicious!"
Angie, in her normal clothes, grinned. "Thanks, Mr. Newman!"
Caitlin giggled and wrote some notes down.
Sydney asked, "Why was he Irish?"
"Irish accents are so funny," Angie snickered.
Caitlin looked at her list. "Alright. Claire, your turn."
Claire walked into the bedroom, yawning. "Ah, time for bed."
She jumped into her bed and groaned. "Ugh, this hard-spring mattress is killing me!"
Claire's voice said, "Now, let's see what that scenario would look like with a mattress from Drowsy Man's Mattress Company!"
Claire, again, walked into the bedroom, yawning. "Ah, time for bed."
She jumped into her bed and smiled in satisfaction. "Nothing like a good night's sleep on a Drowsy Man mattress!" Suddenly, Claire added in a disclaimer, "Drowsy Man's Mattress Company is no different from any other mattress, although the psychological satisfaction of buying a Drowsy Man's mattress should end up making you fall asleep faster than your typical spring mattress."
Caitlin laughed, "I know someone would add a disclaimer like that."
She wrote a few notes down and stated, "Alright. Luke, you're the last one."
Luke pointed to the broken TV. "Broken electronic?"
He gave the viewer a thumbs-up. "No worries! With our worry-free guarantee, you'll get a brand new TV of equal cost."
"It doesn't matter if it was our fault, or yours!" Luke added.
"So," Luke continued, grabbing a baseball bat, "You could do this..."
He hit the TV repeatedly with the baseball bat.
"Or this," Luke said, picking up a bowling ball and dropping it on the remains of the TV.
"Or this!" Luke finished, stomping on the TV.
Out of breath, he concluded, "And you'll get a brand-new TV back, free of charge. Only pay $29.99 for shipping and handling."
Caitlin stuttered, "Well, that was a... different approach. Nice job, though. Okay. Come back in twenty minutes, and I'll announce the winner, and our unlucky loser!"
As Caitlin deliberated with herself, the final five waited by the RV.
Claire: (confessional) If anyone deserves to go home, I'd say either Luke or Sydney. Luke, because, well, his commercial was pretty weird. And Sydney... I just don't like her all that much.
Luke: (confessional) Claire's got to go. Not only is she a threat, but that commercial kinda stunk.
Sydney: (confessional) As much as I'd love for Luke to go, I can't help but feel Angie or Brendon should get eliminated. Their commercials were so weird.
Angie: (confessional) Sydney's commercial was so corny. She's also not really that nice of a person. She didn't even give me the mani-pedi she promised earlier.
Brendon: (confessional) I think everyone's commercials were great. I'm kind of sad one of us has to go tonight.
No one said anything for a while.
Angie whistled, then said, "Soooo... Curmi's a cop."
Before anyone else could say anything, Caitlin exited the studio. "Alright, elimination time."
The elimination began like any other.
Caitlin held four candy bars in her hands. "Alright. The first candy bar goes to the winner of the challenge. They will win an enormous advantage in the next challenge, and it'll probably give them a ticket to the final three."
The contestants murmured as Caitlin said, "And, the winner of this challenge is..."
Sydney gasped. "Really?"
Caitlin frowned. "Did I stutter?"
Sydney caught her candy bar, satisfied.
"How did she win?" Luke asked, annoyed.
Caitlin pointed out, "Well, she didn't compare her product to something else like most of you did, and she exceeded my expectations."
Sydney stuck her tongue out at Luke.
"Luke, Angie, Claire, and Brendon," Caitlin said, looking at the rest of the group. "Let's see why you didn't win."
Caitlin looked at Luke. "I guess you could say you fulfilled the requirements of the challenge, but it wasn't exactly what I was looking for."
Luke shrugged innocently. "I'm a creative genius, what can I say?"
She turned to Angie. "Angie. You did a good job making the granola bar look good, but, what was up with the dude in the kilt?"
"It was Mr. Newman!" Angie replied.
Caitlin shook her head. "That was funny, but it was just a little too weird for an actual commercial."
Angie sulked as Caitlin moved on to Claire. "Claire, your commercial was unique because of its 'before-and-after' kind of thing, but the disclaimer kind of went against what you were trying to prove."
"I just wanted to make it believable," Claire modestly stated.
Caitlin finally looked at Brendon. "And Brendon. Your commercial was great until the end. Firstly, the baby kept crying after you put on the diaper, and secondly, directly referencing your voice was a little too much. It works in some cases, but that wasn't one of them."
Sydney: (confessional) Gee, when did Caitlin become such a diva?
Caitlin sighed. "But, the weakest commercial, in my opinion, was Claire's."
Claire gasped. "But.. but... how?!"
"I have spoken!" Caitlin snapped. "Claire, it's time for you to go."
Claire stood up, disappointed. "Well. I guess I can say I'm proud to have made it this far."
"Keep in touch!" Brendon waved.
Caitlin folded her arms. "Haven't you people heard of reunion episodes? It's not like she's moving to another planet."
Claire shot a look at Caitlin as she left.
Luke: (confessional) The final four. I knew I would make it this far, but I expected Sydney to get the boot somewhere near the merge. Hmph.
Angie: (confessional) Wow. This is pretty intense. Looks like I'm gonna have to step it up. (spits on both of her hands and rubs them together) ... Ew.
Brendon: (confessional) The quarterfinals! And we're this close to Hawaii! I can smell the hula-dancers from here!
Sydney: (confessional) Bring it on! Caitlin said that I've basically got a ticket to the semifinals, so I'm up for whatever challenge she can throw at me.
"That ends this episode," Caitlin said, eating one of the candy bars. "Can't say I expected these guys to be the final four, but, hey, you can't expect anything on this show. Don't miss the next nail-biting episode of Total! Drama! Stardom!"
Chapter 24: Celebrity Manhunt's Exclusive Fourth Aftermath
The aftermath theme played, replaying short clips of Brandon, Timothy, and Claire's eliminations.
Josh waved. "Hello, loyal Stardom viewers! Welcome back to the Total Drama Stardom aftermath show!"
He pointed out, "The past five episodes have been pretty crazy, am I right?"
The audience and peanut gallery nodded in agreement.
"We've got three guests today that'll be sure to keep you on the edge of your seat," Josh grinned.
He noticed the peanut gallery. "But, first, let's look at our previously eliminated peeps!"
As he said each name, the contestant waved to the camera. "Amanda, Mitchell, Niko, Jessica, Mordecai, Valerie, Brian, Ivy, and Emilie! Give 'em a round of applause."
A few members of the audience gave pitiful claps.
One shouted, "Bring out Timothy!"
Josh stuttered, "Er, um, actually, we'll wait a little for our guests. I can't believe we're so close to the end."
"Psh, I can't wait until the show ends," Ivy muttered.
Josh raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? And why is that so?"
Ivy crossed her legs. "I'm not on it anymore, that show's going down the toilet."
Josh noted, "Actually, the Grand Canyon episode was full of so much drama, it pulled it a lot of new viewers, and ratings have been amazing ever since the latest aftermath."
"... I still had a huge part of the fanbase," Ivy claimed.
Josh shook his head. "Not nece--"
Ivy shot a menacing look at him, and he suddenly switched topics.
Josh sat down and suggested, "Let's look at the results from a poll on our website."
He recited, "We asked, 'Which member of the final four are you rooting for?'"
An intern passed him an index card, and Josh raised an eyebrow at the results. "Okay."
"Well," he began, "Fifteen percent of the votes went to Luke, not much of a shock there."
He continued, "Twenty-one percent of the votes went to Angie. Huh."
"And with thirty-two percent each," Josh finished, "Brendon and Sydney tied for the most."
Valerie scoffed in irritation. "Sydney? How does she have fans?"
Emilie chimed, "And how is she winning?"
Josh shrugged. "I don't have a clue. But let's see what you guys in the peanut gallery think. How many of you are on Team Sydney?"
Brian raised his hand, alone.
Niko almost raised his hand, but Valerie shot him a deathly glare.
"How can you even remotely like Sydney?" Ivy asked, surprised. "Didn't she sort of get you eliminated?"
"No, you did," Brian retorted, annoyed. "And, I don't really like any of the others that much."
Josh continued, "Well, okay, then. How about Team Luke?"
Ivy raised her hand, also alone, shocking most the audience. "He actually plays the game, unlike the rest of the final four."
Josh asked, "What about Team Angie?"
Mordecai and Amanda raised their hands.
Mordecai explained, "Well, Luke, Sydney, and Brendon all voted me off, so she's pretty much the only choice for me."
Amanda threw her fist in the air. "Blonde power!"
Josh reminded her, "Brendon's blonde."
Amanda corrected, "Blonde female power!"
"I guess the other five of you are on Team Brendon," Josh assumed.
Jessica shook her head. "I'm not on anyone's team. None of them deserve to win."
Mitchell glared at her. "Will you get over it?"
"Pipe down!" Jessica shot back, folding her arms.
Josh shook his head in disapproval as the TV screen flickered. "Oh, great, Hawaii time."
The camera's view jerked around back and forth, with a loud thumping noise heard every time it went downwards.
Lindsay's voice was heard. "This coconut-opener isn't working."
She yelped. "Oh my gosh, I broke a nail."
"That's not a coconut-opener," Beth corrected. "That's a camera."
Lindsay gasped. "Ohhhh!"
Chris, still believing that he was hosting a reality show, announced, "And Heather has been voted off!"
Heather walked past him. "Is he still going crazy?"
Lindsay and Beth nodded and Chris claimed, "I'm not crazy! We're at the final three! Me, Owen, and Chef."
Owen's voice was heard, yelling, "No one come to this side of the shore!"
Noah walked past Heather, coughing. "Owen tainted the beach."
Owen giggled. "Coconuts don't agree with me. Who knew?"
The feed ended there, and Josh shuddered. "I think I can smell him from here."
He decided, "Alright, it's time to bring out our first of three guests. He's five-foot-eight, has a strange obsession with the color blue, and their arch-nemesis is in the final four! Please welcome, Brandon!"
Brandon entered the stage, waving to the fair amount of audience members that clapped for him.
"Hey, Josh," Brandon said as he sat down.
Josh asked, "So, how does it feel to be out of the competition?"
Brandon replied, "I'm actually pretty glad I got eliminated. The show brought out my competitive side, and it turned me into someone I'm not."
"What did you 'turn into'?" Josh asked, purposefully.
Brandon thought, "Um..."
Amanda suggested, "A stubborn brat?"
The rest of the peanut gallery looked at her strangely, and she frowned. "What? Do you want me to lie to him?"
"Well," Brandon said as he shifted in his seat, "I'm usually a lot calmer when I'm not under all that pressure."
Josh nodded. "Ah, alright. Anything from the competition you regret or wish you had done?"
Brandon thought for a moment, then answered, "I wish I hadn't gotten into so many little fights with Brendon. And to think it all started because our names were just a letter apart..."
After a short pause, Josh suggested, "Alright, uh, why don't we take a poll? Here's the question. Did you ever forget that Brandon was on the show?"
Brandon blurted, shocked, "What the heck?"
"You're a forgettable person," Josh admitted. "Press "A" if you think so and "B" if you don't!"
Someone in the audience asked, "Who the heck is Brandon?"
The results were displayed, and Josh read, "'A. Yes - 91 votes, B. No - 9 votes.'"
Brandon gasped, and Josh added, "The worst part is that those nine votes came from the eliminated contestants."
Josh realized, "Ah, we've got to go to commercials. Don't touch that dial, we'll be back in a minute with more drama on the Total Drama Stardom aftermath!"
The commercials were surprisingly the commercials made by the final five in the previous episode.
There was an additional sixth commercial with Caitlin.
She looked outside her window, then turned around. "These curtains are so drab!"
A few adults walked into the scene and began laughing at Caitlin's curtains.
Caitlin frowned, and then her voice suggested, "Maybe you should try the Curtain Bedazzler!"
"The Curtain Bedazzler?" Caitlin gasped.
One suddenly popped into her right hand, and she began bedazzling her curtains with multi-colored rhinestones and gems.
The same adults walked back into her house and nodded approvingly at her curtains.
Caitlin grinned. "Thanks, Curtain Bedazzler!"
The aftermath returned, with Josh and the peanut gallery giggling over Caitlin's mediocre commercial.
Josh managed to hold back his laughter enough to say, "Alright, alright. Let's get our next guest out. Claire, come on out!"
Claire entered, bowing.
On her way to the interviewee couch, she tripped, but quickly got back up and sat down.
Josh smiled, "So, Claire, how-"
He was interrupted by an abrupt make-out session between Brandon and Claire.
The two suddenly stopped, and Claire complimented, "You taste like strawberry gum and lemon-lime soda."
"Thank you?" Brandon unsurely responded.
They resumed making out, and Josh groaned. "Please don't go Gidgette on us. Those two lovebirds lost a ton of their fanbase once they lost their cool touch, and became hopeless romantics."
However, Brandon and Claire weren't listening, and the two fell off the couch, but continued to kiss.
Josh pursed his lips. "While I get an intern to drag our soon-to-be-newlyweds off the stage, let's take a look at this edition of 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark!'"
The theme song played, along with an extra title underneath that read, "Best Hits of the Season!"
The first clip was from the very first episode in Newfoundland. It showed Sydney sleeping in her canoe, when suddenly, a loaf of bread fell on her, followed by a swarm of seagulls engulfing her canoe, pecking at her.
The next clip, in Boston, included Amanda, who was ferociously mixing cake batter with a spoon. She mixed too quickly, and the spoon flew out of her hands, and hit Ivy square in the face.
In New York City, Valerie was answering trivia questions in the subway, when the train made an abrupt stop, slamming her into a pole.
The fourth clip, which took place in Virginia, showed Jessica spying on Niko through a window in the RV. A family of skunks snuck up behind her and released a foul stench, causing her to pass out and fall through the window.
The following clip took place in the second cooking challenge in South Carolina. Angie was holding a platter full of her team's dishes, when she tripped over a customer's foot and fell, accidentally throwing the platter of dishes at Curmi and Caitlin's table.
Brandon was hacking away at the mines in the crystal-digging challenge in Arkansas. As he pulled the pick-axe back, it escaped his grasp and ended up pinning Timothy against the wall of the cave.
In Texas, Emilie pulled the trigger on her gun, but it didn't release anything. Atfer several more attempts, it finally worked, but she accidentally drenched Luke in hot sauce.
The last clip, in the second part of the Vegas fiasco, showed the final six in the back of the van. Brendon farted, and they panicked, causing the van to rock back and forth.
Brandon and Claire were still making out, but on the couch above the main interviewee one.
Josh began, "Now, let's bring out our final-"
He was interrupted by another feed coming from Hawaii.
Katie and Sadie were doing their notorious squeal, however, it wasn't for joy.
Katie pointed to the volcano. "The volcano's erupting again! Oh my gosh!"
"We're all gonna die!" Sadie cried.
Justin popped up behind them and asked, "Are either of you willing to shield my face? I want it to be preserved once I die."
Sadie raised her hand eagerly. "Oooh, oooh, me!"
"I'm so much better at shielding faces!" Katie claimed. "Watch!"
She latched on to Justin's face, and he toppled over on Sadie, ending the feed.
After a short pause, Josh finished his previous sentence. "... Timothy!"
Timothy entered slowly, looking to the left, then the right.
Josh frowned. "Um, Timothy? Any time."
"I might get kidnapped again," Timothy stated nervously.
Josh sighed. "We're in a secure studio. There's a security check at the front and everything."
Brian added, "Which includes a very thorough strip search."
He shuddered afterwards, and Timothy took a seat, but not before dusting it off.
"Didn't you say you gave up the germless life?" Josh reminded him.
Timothy nodded. "But, I mean, I can't just completely drop it. I've been taking liberties, like washing my hands every other hour, and using unsterilized shampoo."
Josh added, "Also, there's two things that fan have been dying to know about that involve you."
Timothy folded his arms. "I'm not telling anyone my recipe for flawless hand sanitizer."
"No one cares about that," Josh bluntly stated. "Remember when you were talking to Brandon about how you were into someone on the show?"
Timothy blushed. "Oh, um, right."
Josh impatiently tapped his foot. "Well...?"
Timothy shook his head. "I'm not telling anyone."
"Looks like we'll have to do this the hard way," Josh sighed. "It's time for a game of Truth or Hammer!"
The Truth or Hammer theme song played as Timothy turned pale.
Josh instructed, "Alright. I'll be going through the list of girls on the show. As long as you tell the turth on whether you like them or not, you'll be safe!"
Timothy protested, "That isn't fair!"
"He did it to me, too!" Niko shouted from the peanut gallery.
Josh ignored them and began, "Alright. Sydney?"
Timothy confidently shook his head.
The hammer didn't move.
Timothy mumbled, "Uhhh, no."
The hammer swung down, but it fell off in mid-swing.
Josh snapped, "I told those interns to add more tape!"
He suddely realized, "Wait a minute... Angie?"
Timothy lied, "The hammer was busted anyways!"
"Uh-huh," Josh doubted. "Well, why do you like her?"
"I don-" Timothy realized there was no way of getting out of it.
He sighed. "Well... she's just so genuine. And real. And such."
Josh pointed out, "But you guys are polar opposites!"
Timothy shrugged. "Opposites attract?"
Josh shrugged. "I geuss you're right... that isn't anything new to this show. Duncan and Courtney, Harold and LeShawna, and now Angie and Timothy. Hm."
He noted, "This would be a good time for a poll! Do you support Timgie?"
"That sounds like a malicious virus," Timothy cringed.
Josh continued, "Vote option A if you do, and option B if you don't!"
The results were displayed, and they read, "A. Yes - 72 Votes; B. No - 28 Votes."
Josh nodded in approval to Timothy. "Looks like you've got yourself a bigger fanbase!"
Timothy blushed and looked away.
"I nearly forgot," Josh suddenly said. "The second things the fans were dying to know - Who stole your belt?"
The audience murmured in discussion, and Timothy echoed, "Yeah, who did steal my belt? I never found out."
Josh grinned. "I know who did it. And I've got a clip. Roll it!"
After Brian's elimination, the contestants immediately went to bed.
Brandon, Brendon, Claire, Luke, and Emilie were already asleep from winning the challenge.
Timothy removed his belt and collapsed into bed, exhausted.
Sydney and Ivy were both restless, and decided to take a trip around the neighborhood with Caitlin and Curmi.
That left Angie alone in the RV, and she quickly took Timothy's belt and stowed it in the glove compartment.
Angie: (confessional) Before you say anything, it's for a good reason! Timothy needs to get out of his anti-germ habits. I mean, I'm afraid that someday, something really bad and germ-related might happen to him, and he won't be able to recover from it. I'm doing it for his well-being. And, well, to be honest... (looks to the left, then to the right, and whispers) He's kinda cute. But. Um. Don't air this confessional, kay? Or I'll take those Hawaii tickets and have myself a nice little vacation. With one of those really hot Hawaiian guys. Mmmm...
Everyone except Josh gasped in complete shock.
Josh nudged Timothy's shoulder. "Looks like she likes you, too. Perfect match!"
Timothy looked down at his belt. "She was trying to help me..."
An intern quickly ran onstage and left a flag with Angie's face on it in Timothy's hands, then ran off.
Josh looked at his watch and gasped. "Looks like that's all the time we have. There's only two Total Drama Stardom's left!"
The aftermath's TV screen split into four squares, one square with a picture of Brendon, another with a picture of Angie, one with Luke, and the last with Sydney.
"Who will win?" Josh asked. "Who will make it to Hawaii to save the cast? Who are you supporting? Vote on the Total Drama Stardom website today! Me, along with the rest of the eliminated contestants, will be back in the finale, watching along with you guys! Thanks for watching! And don't miss the next jam-packed episode of Total! Drama Stardom!"
Chapter 25: Cali-four-nia Capers
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, I took the final five to the wonderful place we call... Hollywood! That's right. But instead of filming a movie, which would be totally predictable and unoriginal, each final five member shot their own commercial. Some commercials might have, er, missed the target. Sydney won immunity after her commercial impressed me more than anyone else's, and I had to give Claire the heave-ho after her commercial didn't really meet the standards. We're down to the final four. Luke, Brendon, Sydney, and Angie. Who will join me on our epic trip to Hawaii? Who will get left behind? Find out on this episode of Total! Drama! Stardom!"
The morning after Claire's elimination, the RV was awfully quiet.
Brendon: (confessional) I'm in the quarter-finals! I feel really bad for everyone that's gotten voted off, though. Can't we just split the prize sixteen ways? Unless it's, like, a car or something. I don't think anyone would really want one-sixteenth of a car...
Luke: (confessional) Well. I didn't lie. I brought Brendon and Sydney to the finals. Angie's a minor detail at this point. My real goal is to get rid of Brendon. Sydney's apparently got a guaranteed spot in the final three according to Caitlin, and Angie should be easy to defeat. But Brendon? He's like Superman in pink.
Angie: (confessional) I was really just in it for the free trip around the continent. But, I mean, winning wouldn't be so bad, too. I think I've got a good shot, right? If it's a jury vote, my only real competition would be... Brendon. I guess that's who's got to go. Ew, it feels weird being all serious and strategic.
Sydney: (confessional) How many times have I almost gotten eliminated? Honestly. I lost count. But now, I don't think I could be in any better shape. As long as Luke or Brendon goes home tonight, this game is mine. Hopefully. I just hope Caitlin doesn't throw a curveball at us like she usually does.
Caitlin called, "Alright, final four, let's go! And, er, I suggest you bring your luggage."
The four of them exited the RV, and stood before the exact same studio from the previous challenge.
Brendon noticed, "Um, we're still in Hollywood."
Caitlin nodded. "That's right."
"... Not in a different city?" Sydney asked, unsure.
Caitlin nodded again. "Nope. Still in Hollywood."
Angie folded her arms. "I don't like where this is going."
Luke suspiciously asked, "And why did we bring out our luggage?"
Caitlin counted, "Three, two, one..."
The RV suddenly exploded.
"Holy crap!" Sydney gasped. "Why... why did you do that?!"
Angie frowned. "I think I left one of my bras in the confessional."
Caitlin began to answer Sydney's question, but then stopped and looked at Angie. "Why would your bra be in the confessional?"
"I don't have to explain my life to you!" Angie declared.
Caitlin was taken aback, but then looked back at Sydney. "The RV won't be needed anymore. Because this challenge is a race."
Luke rolled his eyes. "Here we go..."
Caitlin explained, "The four of you will have to find a way to get to San Diego. I don't care how, just get there. The first three people there will be able to fly from the airport to Hawaii with me. The last person will be automatically eliminated!"
Brendon: (confessional) I've always wondered - does the eliminated person just, like, end up living in the city they got eliminated in? Or do they like, get picked up by their parents or something?
"And my advantage?" Sydney grinned.
Caitlin remembered, "Oh, right! Sydney, for winning the last challenge, I'm going to give you two hundred dollars. You can use that however you'd like in order to get to San Diego before the others. Pay someone to carry you there or something, I don't know."
Luke stomped his foot angrily. "That is so unfair."
"You should've tried winning the challenge," Sydney sarcastically suggested. "That usually helps."
Angie asked, "Wait, so, what are you gonna be doing?"
Caitlin replied, "I'll be driving the RV, obviously."
Brendon reminded her, "But you just blew it up."
The four of them all stared at a speechless Caitlin.
She hailed a taxi and ordered, "San Diego airport!"
As the taxi drove off, she yelled out the window, "Challenge starts now! The flight leaves tonight at eight o' clock! Anyone who isn't there by then is eliminateeeeee..."
Her voice trailed off as the taxi made a turn.
The finalists all awkwardly stood on the sidewalk.
Angie suddenly began walking away with her luggage.
Brendon asked, "Where are you going?"
"I don't know," Angie admitted. "But I'll figure something out later!"
That left Brendon, Sydney, and Luke.
Sydney shrugged. "Well, I've got two hundred bucks. See ya!"
She skipped off across the street and ran.
Luke turned to Brendon and suggested, "Wanna team up?"
"I don't know," Brendon shrugged.
He looked at his watch. "It's almost noon. Can we really get to San Diego in eight hours without a car?"
Luke noticed a car cruising by, and jumped in front of it, but used his luggage as a shield.
The driver felt the impact of the luggage on the car and thought it was Luke's body. They gasped and exited.
The driver, male, apologized, "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't know! I was listening to Céline Dion, you see, and, well..."
Brendon asked, "What song?"
"My Heart Will Go On," the driver replied. "It's like, her best song."
"I know, right?" Brendon giggled. "That album was great, too."
As Brendon distracted the driver, Luke picked up his luggage, tossed it in the backseat of the car, and drove off.
Brendon noticed and stated, "Your car is leaving."
"What?" the driver asked, turning around.
They gasped. "My car! I'm reporting this!"
Brendon stared at the driver as they walked away and spoke on their cellphone.
Brendon then said aloud, "I guess walking never hurt."
Angie passed by a movie set, and she curiously entered.
She passed by posters, one of which read, "Biker Gang 3: Revenge of the Gas Pedal."
The director of the movie yelled, "Cut!"
The director walked to an actor on a motorcycle and sighed. "What are you doing? Those aren't your lines."
"I'm improvising," the actor innocently replied.
"Improvising?" the director said in disbelief. "There's a script, you (censored)! Why don't you go by the (censored) script, huh? Are you out of your (censored) mind? I should (censored) fire you. Forty-four (censored) people auditioned for this role. Forty-four. And you think you can just change the (censored) script? Get out of my (censored) sight."
The actor held back tears as they wheeled their motorcycle over to their trailer.
"And where the (censored) is my latté?" the director growled.
The director continued to bark, and Angie noticed that the actor had left the motorcycle outside their trailer, with the keys in the ignition.
She also noticed a coil of rope beside the trailer.
"Hmm," she grinned.
Sydney finally grew tired of walking through Hollywood.
She thought to herself, "Maybe I should just take Caitlin's approach."
She stood on the curb and hailed a taxi.
The taxi driver pulled over, and Sydney asked, "How much to get to San Diego airport?"
The taxi driver frowned. "The drive is about half the length of California. I'd say about three hundred bucks."
Sydney groaned. "Great. How am I supposed to win this challenge now?"
The taxi driver turned around and gasped. "Wait, are you Sydney? As in Sydney from Total Drama Stardom?"
Sydney blushed. "You recognize me?"
"Of course!" the driver grinned. "You're my daughter's favorite. And my son's. But I think my son just likes you for your chest."
Sydney self-consciously looked downwards and the driver continued, "You know what? I'll drive you there for two hundred."
"Perfect!" Sydney beamed.
Sydney: (confessional) Things couldn't work out any better.
Luke drove well above the speed limit, determined to get to San Diego first.
Luke: (confessional) I've already committed Grand Theft Auto. A speeding violation is the least of my worries.
A police vehicle began following him, and he groaned. "Great."
He pulled over, and a policeman exited their car.
He walked to Luke's car and tapped on the window.
Luke rolled down the window and asked, "What's the problem, officer?"
"Do you have any idea how fast you were driving?" the officer asked.
Luke shrugged. "Twenty, thirty miles per hour?"
The officer shook his head. "Try seventy. What in the world is giving you the motive to drive that quickly?"
Luke sighed. "I need to get to San Diego before eight."
The officer paused, then laughed. "Good luck with that."
"So, are you going to give me a ticket and everything?" Luke asked.
The officer looked at him strangely. "What? No. I'm an actor. Did you think I was believable?"
Luke, confused, replied, "Um, yeah, that's why I actually answered your questions."
"That role is so mine," the fake officer grinned. "Anyways, run along."
Luke shrugged and slammed on the gas, sending him flying past the streets of Hollywood.
Brendon managed to walk all the way to the shore.
He grinned. "This is so peaceful."
A motorboat suddenly zoomed through the coastline, disturbing Brendon's trance-like state.
He groaned as the driver of the motorboat casually parked themselves on the beach, and jumped out with their girlfriend.
The driver of the motorboat asked, "Hey, babe, wanna go get a quick bite?"
"Whatever you say," the girlfriend replied.
They left the motorboat unattended, and the driver unknowingly missed his pocket, and dropped the keys in the sand.
Brendon raised an eyebrow as he noticed the keys.
Brendon: (confessional) I don't steal things. But in this case, I don't think he'd mind if I borrowed it...? I mean, I can just give it back after. I can make him an apology cake, too.
Brendon stealthily walked over to the keys, and tried not to attract attention.
He picked them up and hopped in the motorboat. "Tallyho!"
The engine roared and he set it in reverse, which pushed the motorboat back into the ocean and it zoomed through the water.
The driver returned with his girlfriend.
He commented, "I thought I left it here. Eh, whatever, I've got three more."
Angie was on the road with a stolen motorcycle, and had her luggage roped to it.
Angie: (confessional) I felt like one of those rebel guys who have really long hair and huge furry mustaches. I don't have a mustache, but I have long hair!
Coincidentally, a motorcycle gang was about half a mile behind her.
They caught up, and the leader yelled, "Hey, hey, girly!"
Angie turned to the left. "Huh?"
"This road ain't big enough for the two of us!" the leader yelled back.
Angie frowned. "But there are two lanes."
Someone else from the motorcycle gang caught up to Angie on the opposite side of the leader.
"Sandwich!" the leader yelled.
He and the other member closed in on Angie, attempting to disorient her.
She sped up quickly, and the two of them crashed into each other, which resulted in a motorcycle pile-up behind her.
She turned around and apologized. "My bad!"
Sydney sped through the interstate in her taxi.
She asked, "How much longer do you think we'll be? No rush, though."
"Another hour or so," the taxi driver replied.
The driver slammed on the horn and growled, "It's a ghost-town out here, people, speed it up!"
A car suddenly caught up with the taxi and slammed into the side of it.
Sydney fell over in the backseat and shrieked, "What's going on?!"
In the other car, Luke was seen in the driver's seat.
Luke: (confessional) Sydney thinks she's all that with her two hundred bucks and whatnot. I'll show her!
Sydney noticed Luke and became furious. "Ugh! It's him!"
The driver giggled, "Oooh, I've always wanted to be in one of these high-speed chases!"
Luke rammed against the taxi again, but it sent both cars spiraling into an exit.
Once the cars both stopped, Sydney looked around.
She noticed that the taxi driver was gone. "Uh-oh."
Sydney: (confessional) I'm not the best at driving. I got a C in Driver's Ed since I drove the training car through the school entrance. But I guess I've improved since then.
Luke and Sydney both gained control of themselves and got into their cars again.
Luke yelled, "Have fun getting fourth place!"
"Right back at ya!" Sydney yelled back, starting the engine.
Luke drove off, and Sydney stomped, frustrated. "How come I'm not moving?"
She looked at her feet and realized, "Oh, wrong pedal."
She switched her foot to the gas pedal and tried to catch up to Luke.
Soon, they were side-by-side.
Luke glared at her from his car. "Why don't you just give up?"
Sydney shot a glance at him, but focused on the road. "Because this is payback for all the crap you've given me, and everyone in the competition!"
She wedged a seat cushion on the gas pedal, then rolled down the window and hopped inside Luke's car.
"What the heck?!" Luke shouted. "Get out!"
Sydney grabbed the steering wheel, and the car began moving in different directions.
They ran into a street fair and crashed through a fruit booth, a tattoo booth, and finally a clothing booth.
When they finally stopped crashing into things, the crash into the clothing booth managed to wrap scarves around their eyes, and they were driving blindfolded.
"I don't wanna die!" Luke cried.
Sydney giggled. "Are you crying?"
Luke denied, "What? No! I have, er, polyester in my eye!"
Brendon calmly sped across the coast of California.
He turned around and noticed a grey flicker, but ignored it.
A few moments later, he noticed it again, and sat up. "What is that?"
The grey flicker ended up being a fin, and Brendon gasped.
Brendon: (confessional) Sh-sh-sh-sh-shark... in the water...
He nervously slammed on the gas and sped up, but the shark wasn't left behind.
Finally, it surfaced, and snapped at the motorboat, but missed.
"Oh my gosh, your dental hygiene is terrible," Brendon noticed.
He suddenly stopped himself. "I guess Timothy rubbed off on me."
The shark surfaced again and Brendon frightfully threw a can of soda at it.
The shark swallowed it and went frantic.
It swam into the motorboat and sent it flying into the beach.
Brendon stood up with his luggage and mumbled, "Jerk."
He looked at a sign and gasped. "San Diego Beach! Woohoo! I guess I can walk from here."
Caitlin reached the airport and nervously looked at her watch. "Where are these kids? It's seven-thirty."
A middle-aged man walked up to her and slyly said, "Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 'ten' I see."
He winked, and Caitlin turned away from him. "Just leave."
Brendon ran up to her, gasping for air. "Hooo... hoo... am... am I safe?"
"You're safe with me," the middle-aged man grinned.
Brendon cringed and stepped back, and Caitlin replied, "Yep, you're actually the first one to arrive."
"I was here way before him," the strange man claimed.
Caitlin snapped, "Stop hitting on me and go away!"
The man sulked and left as Angie parked her motorcycle.
"Where'd you get that?" Brendon curiously asked.
Angie shrugged. "Stole it from a movie set. Am I safe?"
Caitlin nodded. "Second to arrive! Congrats on making the semi-finals, you two. Now we're just waiting for either Luke or Sydney."
Luke and Sydney were still blindly driving through San Diego.
"Make a right!" Sydney demanded.
Luke snapped, "I don't even know if I can make a right!"
Sydney jerked the steering wheel to the right, and they crashed into a pole.
The two of them were sent flying through the windshield with their luggage, and they both ended up in front of Caitlin, Angie, and Brendon.
They removed their blindfolds, and yelled, "Hah! I win!"
They noticed each other and groaned. "Ugh."
Sydney frowned. "Does that mean we need a tiebreaker challenge?"
"She's just mad because she knows I'll beat her in it," Luke confidently claimed.
Sydney stuck her tongue out. "No, you won't."
"Yes, I will," Luke said, folding his arms.
"No, you won't."
"Yes, I will."
"No, you won't!"
"Yes, I will!"
"Yes, you will!"
"No, I won't! And that is final!"
"Alright, then," Sydney grinned.
Luke paused, then complained, "Hey!"
Caitlin interrupted, "As much as I'd love for you two to keep fighting, I just realized that I've only got enough money to buy three tickets. One for me, Angie and Brendon."
Sydney froze. "Wait."
"No!" Luke wailed.
Caitlin nodded. "That's right. You're both eliminated."
Luke collapsed on the floor and pounded his fists. "It's not fair! It's not fair!!"
Sydney, Angie, Brendon, and Caitlin stared at him in awe.
"I was supposed to win!" Luke cried. "I was supposed to get the grand prize, and beat everyone! But, noooo! Sydney had to go psycho and jump in my car!"
Sydney pointed out, "We both would've lose either way..."
Luke pointed to her and snapped, "Shut it, sister!"
Sydney jumped backwards as Caitlin, Angie, and Brendon silently ran into the airport.
Caitlin grinned. "Looks like we're off to Hawaii!"
Angie and Brendon high-fived.
Angie: (confessional) The final two? I made it! I really made it!
Brendon: (confessional) Hawaii, here we come! (puts on a lei and hums a tune)
The three of them sat in their seats, and Caitlin signed off. "Angie and Brendon. Our final two. Who would've seen it coming? I'm sure many of you, but we don't want to hear it. Tune in next time! For our mega-awesome Hawaii finale! Only on!"
"Total!" Angie began.
"Drama!" Brendon continued.
"Stardom!" the three of them ended.
Chapter 26: Honolosers
"Last time on Total Drama Stardom, our final four was given the task to race from Hollywood all the way to San Diego to secure a spot in the final three! Angie and Brendon managed to get to me first. Despite her advantage from winning the last challenge, Sydney ended up tying for third with Luke. But I ended up not having to decide, since, well, I only had enough cash to get tickets for me and two others. So, our final four was quickly turned into our final two! Angie and Brendon! Our blonde bombshells! Which one of these lucky teens will win the grand prize? Which will go home with nothing? Find out! Only on the exciting season finale of Total! Drama! Stardom!"
The plane landed, and the three blondes excitedly stood up to get their luggage.
Brendon: (Hawaiian confessional) Oooh, I remember this confessional from last season! (giggles) Final two!
Angie: (Hawaiian confessional) I'm in the finals! I'm so-- (looks down, picks something up) Is this a pineapple?
Brendon: (Hawaiian confessional) I had such a good time here. I met some really, er, 'nice' people. (split-screen of Ivy, Luke, Sydney, and Jessica)
Angie: (Hawaiian confessional) I can't say I liked everyone that much. But I did meet some people that weren't too bogus. (split-screen of Brendon, Timothy, Mordecai, and Emilie)
Brendon: (Hawaiian confessional) I'm glad it's me and Angie. If I had to lose to anyone, it'd have to be her.
Angie: (Hawaiian confessional) If I lose, at least it's to Brendon. I mean, I don't think anyone could get mad if they lose to him.
Brendon: (Hawaiian confessional) Then again, if I win... I'd probably fulfill my dreams of making that animal shelter. Or I could give funds for an experiment to turn dogs into humans. It could happen.
Angie: (Hawaiian confessional) If I do end up winning, I'd probably just buy a mansion or something. Oh, I could finally get those heels I've been eyeing for weeks.
Brendon: (Hawaiian confessional) Well, may the best contestant win!
Angie: (Hawaiian confessional, accidentally sneezes into her hand) Oh, ew.
Meanwhile, the eliminated contestants, along with the previously-famous contestants, Curmi, Josh, Chris, and Chef, were all gathered around the aftermath set seen in the last Total Drama World Tour aftermath, Hawaiian Punch.
The non-Stardom contestants were beautified back into their previous physical conditions, except for Blaineley, Alejandro, and Sierra, who remained in their handicapped positions.
Josh sat down and let out a large sigh. "Well, Angie, Brendon, and Caitlin should be here any moment now. Then, we'll be able to decide the winner."
"How are we gonna do that?" Duncan asked from the upper-left couch, awkwardly positioned between Gwen and Courtney.
Josh shrugged. "It's up to Caitlin. Jury vote? Viewer vote? Final challenge?"
Heather quickly snapped, "She is not going to risk making that volcano erupt again."
"Wasn't it supposed to erupt like Katie and Sadie said?" Josh remembered.
Katie frowned. "No, it turns out that Owen fell."
Chris scratched his head and looked around. "Where is Owen?"
"He said he was 'getting back what Hawaii deprived him of'," Noah unenthusiastically answered.
Chef grimaced. "I hope he ain't diggin' through my emergency food. Ain't nobody mess with my emergency food."
Angie, Brendon, and Caitlin finally arrived to the set, and the contestants clapped.
"It's about time," Ivy snidely commented.
Caitlin shot a glance at her. "You have no idea how slow these Hawaiian taxis are."
Josh grinned. "Well, at least you made it! And we need an answer to the question we've been asking from the beginning..."
Chris dropped down on his knees. "Please tell me you raised enough money to get everyone off of Hawaii."
Caitlin looked around. "Let's see. Twenty-four teens plus sixteen teens makes forty. Me, Chris, Chef, Josh, Curmi, and Blaineley are another six. Tickets are two-fifty each."
"That means you need at least 11,500 dollars," Harold butted in.
Caitlin gave him an annoyed glare. "Thank you, Harold."
"Well?" Chris impatiently asked. "Is there enough?"
Caitlin grimaced. "I've only got 11,000. Enough for forty-four people, but not forty-six."
Curmi put his hands on his hips. "Well. Which two people are staying behind?"
"I nominate Blaineley and Sierra," Chris volunteered.
Blaineley made muffled protests in her bandaged state, and Sierra gasped. "Chris! After all I've done for you? After all of those personalized bubble baths I've set up? After all of those massages I've given you while you were semi-conscious?"
Angie cleared her throat. "Can we decide who stays after the final challenge?"
"I'm getting bored!" Eva raged.
"Alright, alright!" Caitlin stated. "Sheesh."
An intern pushed in a large wheel with images of previous challenges that the Total Drama Stardom gang had participated in.
Brendon frowned. "Are we gonna have to do past challenges?"
"You guys won't be doing a thing," Caitlin assured.
Angie raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"
Caitlin turned to the eliminated contestants and said, "These guys will choose which side they're on - Team Angie or Team Brendon. Then, each of them will have to take part in a mini-challenge, which will be decided by this wheel. If they successfully complete their assigned task, they win a point for their fellow finalist. If they don't, they don't help you at all!"
"But what if one of us has like, thirteen people, and the other has one?" Angie worriedly asked.
Caitlin shrugged. "Too bad. Anyways, eliminated peeps! Time to pick a finalist!"
Within seconds, the fourteen of them scrambled around behind who they supported.
A few seconds later, the mess had cleared up.
Standing behind Brendon were the following: Luke, Sydney, Ivy, Brian, Valerie, Niko, and Amanda.
Standing behind Angie were the rest: Claire, Timothy, Brandon, Emilie, Mordecai, Jessica, and Mitchell.
Ivy: (Hawaiian confessional) Why Brendon? Honestly, I flipped a coin. Then it got stuck and landed sideways in the sand. So I flipped it again.
Jessica: (Hawaiian confessional) I only picked Angie because she didn't vote for me at my elimination. Neither of them should be in the finals.
Claire: (Hawaiian confessional) I don't really support Angie, but Brandon would never support Brendon, so I guess I was kinda forced to support her. Meh.
Sydney: (Hawaiian confessional) Brendon isn't exactly my BFF, especially after he sided with Luke and nearly got me voted off a few times. But in the end, he's my friend. I'll stand by him.
Caitlin explained again, "So. Each of you fourteen will come up here and take a spin at the wheel. Whatever challenge you land on, you'll have to do. If you fail, you get nothing. If you succeed, you win a point for the finalist you're supporting. The finalist with the most points at the end will be crowned the winner of Total Drama Stardom!"
Luke yawned. "Can we hurry this up?"
"Fine, then," Caitlin smirked. "You're up first."
Luke walked towards the wheel. "Awesome."
He spun the wheel and impatiently waited for it to slow down.
It came to a stop at an image of Timothy getting hit in the crotch with a baseball bat.
"I remember that!" Niko grinned.
"I try not to," Timothy said, looking away.
Caitlin announced, "The New York challenge! Luke, for your task, you'll have to take this bat, and knock a coconut into the volcano."
Luke frowned. "Is that possible?"
Caitlin shrugged. "Probably not."
Luke looked at the bat in his hands, then at the coconut lying in the sand.
He picked it up, tossed it into the air, and gave his best shot.
The coconut soared through the palm trees, and ending up knocking over a pedestrian.
"Can I sit down now?" Luke asked.
"Fine," Caitlin sighed. "Next!"
Claire confidently approached the wheel and gave it a spin. "I've got this, Angie!"
Angie gave Claire a half-hearted smile, and the wheel landed on a picture of Luke drenched in assorted sauces.
Caitlin squinted. "I think that's the Texas challenge. Claire, you see that poor old hot dog over there?"
Caitlin pointed to a hot dog, neatly placed in a clean bun. It had no toppings or anything whatsoever.
"You can't just leave a hotdog with nothing on it," Caitlin stated. "It's inhumane!"
From the peanut gallery, Tyler noted, "I ate plain hot dogs all the time."
"And where has that gotten you?" Caitlin shot back.
She turned over to Claire and stated, "Your task is to squirt ketchup on it from twenty feet away. Using nothing but a ketchup bottle and poorly-calculated trajectory. Ready?"
Claire nervously replied, "As ready as I'll ever be."
Claire: (Hawaiian confessional) I was hoping for a more "let's-go-lava-surfing" challenge. Guess that's not happening.
She squeezed the ketchup bottle, and she wound up soaking the hotdog in the red sludge.
"I guess that counts!" Caitlin decided. "Angie's leading with one point, while Brendon has none."
Brendon: (Hawaiian confessional) I'm not worried. At least, not yet...
The next person up was Valerie.
She walked over to the wheel and delicately spun it around.
"Go Val!" Brendon cheered.
Valerie frowned at the nickname Brendon had given her, then looked at the wheel to see that it had stopped at an image of Jessica laughing hysterically.
Caitlin realized, "That's the challenge in Toronto, where everyone had to spin around the CN Tower. Ah, good times. Not really. Moving on!"
The scene switched to the two of them by the top of the volcano.
Valerie nervously asked, "What are we doing up here?"
"For your task," Caitlin instructed, "You'll have to spin around twenty times, then cross this tightrope to the other side of the volcano."
Valerie's eyes bulged. "Why do I have to have the super-dangerous task?"
Caitlin shrugged. "Chris's idea. Not mine. And I suggest taking off those heels. Anyways, go!"
Valerie reluctantly rotated in place, counting aloud. "One, two, three..."
"... Nineteen, twenty," she finished, wobbling in place. "Across tightrope to I walk now the have."
A subtitle popped up at the bottom of the screen reading, "Now I have to walk across the tightrope."
She didn't even take a step on the rope itself before she lost her balance.
Niko, who was nervously watching from the edge of the volcano, gasped and threw himself over to her.
Valerie fell, but Niko managed to grab hold of her hand before she plummeted into the lava.
"Oh, hi there," Valerie blushed.
"Hey," Niko smiled.
He pulled her back up, and Caitlin lightly punched Chris in the shoulder. "She could've died!"
Chris noted, "But she didn't. Which makes for ratings!"
Caitlin: (Hawaiian confessional) Chris is the most annoying sibling a person could ever have. When we were teenagers, he thought he was so much smarter than me just because he got an A- on that Biology quiz, and I got a C. Well, he's not! Hmph. It's not my fault that the composition of a plant cell is so boring.
Mordecai stepped up to the plate as Caitlin recapped, "So far, Luke and Valerie have gotten zero points for Team Brendon. Team Angie is in the lead with one point thanks to Claire."
Mordecai spun the wheel and ordered, "Wheel that rotates, wheel that spins, give me a challenge that I can win!"
The wheel slowed down and stopped at an image of Angie reluctantly serving dishes to random people.
"The South Carolina cooking challenge!" Caitlin announced.
Mordecai frowned. "This wheel doesn't like me."
Caitlin told Mordecai, "For your challenge, you'll have to make a dish for Chef, Curmi, Chris, Josh and I to eat and judge. If we like it, you win a point for Team Angie. If we don't, you don't get a thing!"
"What do I cook with?" Mordecai asked, looking around.
Caitlin smiled harshly. "Whatever you can find. You've got five minutes. Go!"
Mordecai ran off, desperately looking for things to make a decent plate out of.
A few minutes later, he returned. "Done!"
He set a plate down in front of the judges. The plate had five yellow cubes on them.
Curmi looked at it curiously. "Umm..."
"Eat it!" Mordecai snapped.
Each of the five judges took a cube, and took a large bite.
Chris coughed. "Why is my mouth so dry?"
"What is this?" Josh wheezed.
"Cubed pineapple dipped in sea water," Mordecai proudly presented.
Caitlin spit out her food and shook her head. "There is no way you're getting a point for this. Nuh-uh."
"What was I supposed to do?!" Mordecai asked angrily. "Reach into the water, grab a fish, and cook it over a fire that I'm somehow supposed to make?"
Sierra nonchalantly took a large bite out of a well-prepared sea bass. "Pretty much."
Mordecai sighed and took a seat.
Ivy stomped over to the wheel and spun vigorously.
Ivy: (Hawaiian confessional) Sure, I might not fully support Brendon, but when I choose a side, I do whatever it takes to make that side come out on top.
The wheel stopped on an image of Brandon giving a speech.
Ivy looked at it strangely. "Washington D.C., huh?"
Caitlin laughed. "Oh, this is gonna be fun. Your challenge is to give us a convincing argument on why Ezekiel should have won the first season of Total Drama."
The contestants all laughed, while Ivy fumed.
"That's impossible!" Ivy declared.
Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Go!"
Ivy exhaled. "Well, Ezekiel may not have given off the best impression, what, with the sexist comments and all... But I have to give him some credit for actually jumping off of the cliff, unlike two other people on his team. One of which was extremely annoying and bossy during the entire challenge and whose C.I.T. skills didn't exactly come in handy while trying to build a hot tub."
Courtney glared at Ivy as she continued, "Ezekiel had the will to do whatever it took to win. Think about it. If he wasn't voted off first, who knows? He might have made the final two with Owen!"
Gwen held back her laughter, and Ivy concluded, "I just think he had the potential to win, but you guys didn't let him unlock it."
"Where is Ezekiel?" Lindsay noticed.
Chris shrugged. "Somewhere in the forest."
Caitlin chuckled a little bit, but then said, "You know what? I'll give you the point, Ivy. That took a lot of self-respect. Or good acting. Either way, you've won a point for Team Brendon."
Ivy grinned. "Tied! Ha!"
Jessica took her turn and made a fierce spin.
"Why is everyone abusing the poor wheel?" Caitlin defended.
Jessica rolled her eyes and waited for the wheel to slow down.
It finally did, and it stopped on an image of Logan, the Floridian surfer, getting eaten by a shark.
Jessica winced. "Ew."
Caitlin explained, "Alright! Florida challenge. You'll be surfing."
"Easy!" Jessica smiled.
Caitlin added, "But, not on water. You'll be lava-surfing."
From the peanut gallery seats, Claire whined, "Aw, come on!"
Jessica unsurely asked, "... Lava-surfing?"
Jessica and Caitlin were both at the edge of the volcano.
Caitlin threw a small pineapple wedge into the volcano, causing it to spew out about a swimming pool-full of lava.
"Go!" Caitlin yelled, shoving Jessica down with the surfboard.
"Ahhhh!" Jessica screamed in terror.
She looked at her surfboard and complained, "It's burning!"
"Deal with it!" Chris yelled from the volcano peak.
Jessica was now halfway down the volcano.
"I think I'm starting to get the hang of this," she laughed.
She casually made a sharp turn to avoid a tree. "Woo!"
She was smacked in the face with a branch, but still managed to make it to the bottom in one piece.
"Looks like Jessica wins a point for Team Angie!" Caitlin concluded. "That's two points for Team Angie, one point for Team Brendon! Next!"
Niko walked to the wheel, causing Valerie to clap ecstatically and yell, "Go Niko!"
He smiled and spun the wheel. "Team Brendon's gonna make a comeback!"
The wheel landed on a picture of Ivy chasing Angie, Timothy, Sydney, and Brian around a stage.
"The Kansas challenge!" Caitlin determined. "Your task is to improvise a short scene."
Niko asked, "About what?"
Caitlin thought for a moment. "A grumpy old man who insists that younger people are made of nothing but evil."
"So, act as Chef?" Heather teased from the peanut gallery.
Chef gave her a menacing glare as Caitlin ordered, "And, begin!"
Niko hunched over, and in a wobbly tone, ranted, "Them youngsters ain't nothin' but trouble these days! I remember the time when children got spanked for getting bad grades! Now, they're showered with gifts and presents as long as they don't fail! Hmph. Ain't nothin' but evil, I tell you. Evil! Ooh, my hip."
The rest of the group wasn't sure whether to laugh or not, but Brendon giggled hysterically.
"I guess if you can make Brendon laugh, it's worth a point," Caitlin decided. "Luke, Valerie, Ivy, and Niko have gotten two points for Team Brendon, and Claire, Mordecai, and Jessica have gotten two points for Team Angie. Next up, for Angie, is Emilie!"
Emilie calmly spun the wheel.
Emilie: (Hawaiian confessional) I'm mainly supporting Angie since she didn't vote me off either of the times I was eliminated. Well, as far as I know.
The wheel stopped on an image of Luke, Claire, Brandon, and Valerie fishing.
"Newfoundland!" Caitlin grinned.
Emilie crossed her fingers. "Please don't tell me I have to drink that disgusting vinegar."
Caitlin shook her head. "No, no."
She gave Emilie a large bottle. "You'll be drinking sea water."
Emilie worriedly looked at the bottle.
"Aaaand, go!" Caitlin ordered.
Emilie took a hesitant sip, then spit it out. "Um, no, sorry Angie, but I can't do this."
Angie assured, "Don't worry about it!"
Caitlin frowned. "Weak. Brendon and Angie are still tied, and they've both got three supporters left. Let's see who wins, after the break!"
The show returned, and it was Brian's turn at the wheel.
He spun the wheel and begged, "Please give me a challenge I can actually win."
The wheel landed on a picture of Valerie awkwardly talking to Curmi in the courtyard of a large mansion.
"Is that the hide-and-seek challenge?" Brian squinted.
Caitlin admitted, "I didn't think of a challenge for this one. Um..."
Chris raised his hand. "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! I've got one! Find Ezekiel!"
Brian looked at the dense Hawaiian forest behind him. "You're... you're kidding, right?"
"I don't kid," Chris solemnly replied. "Actually, I always do, but I'm not this time. Go!"
Brian reluctantly walked into the forest, chanting, "Here, Zekey, Zekey, Zekey... here, Zekey, Zekey!"
He immediately ran back to the set. "Something brushed up against my leg! It was all green and smooth and stuff!"
"... A leaf?" Caitlin said, folding her arms.
Brian shook his head. "What? No! It wasn't a leaf! It was... Wait, I think it might've been a leaf."
Caitlin sighed. "No point for you! Brendon and Angie still have two points each. Moving on."
Mitchell waddled over to the wheel.
He mumbled, "Uh, can I get a little help here?"
Chef snickered and lifted Mitchell.
Mitchell sighed. "Thanks. Sort of."
He spun the wheel until it stopped on an image of Sydney holding a large, orange crystal.
"Arkansas!" Mitchell grinned, but the grin quickly disappeared after Chef dropped him.
Caitlin walked towards Mitchell and stated, "Alright, Mitchell, your challenge is to dig through this sandy shore and find a sacred golden seashell!"
The contestants gasped. "Ooooh!"
Caitlin added, "It's actually just a normal seashell painted yellow. You've got ten minutes. Go!"
Mitchell scuttled around the beach and desperately dug through the sand. "C'mon, golden seashell!"
He grinned. "I think I found it!"
He tugged at something yellow and bright, then yanked it out of the sand.
"Ugh, it's just a pair of solid gold sunglasses," Mitchell sighed, tossing them behind him.
He continued digging, and soon had an entire pile of solid gold objects, ranging from wrist-watches to coconuts.
Caitlin called, "Time's up!"
Mitchell pointed to the pile of golden things. "That counts, right?"
"Is there a golden seashell in there?" Caitlin asked.
"No," Mitchell mumbled.
Caitlin stubbornly replied, "Then, no, it doesn't count. Brendon and Angie are still tied!"
Amanda shoved everyone out of her way as she ran to the wheel. "My turn!"
She spun the wheel and hoped, "Lemme land on something fun!"
The wheel coincidentally landed on a picture of Amanda putting icing on a chocolate pie, which was the episode she was eliminated in.
"Boston!" Caitlin announced. "Amanda, luckily, you won't have to make a pie."
Amanda playfully wiped the sweat off her forehead.
Caitlin reminded everyone, "In that episode, Sydney had a little, er, wardrobe malfunction. Not to mention it wasn't the only one she had this season."
Sydney rolled her eyes, and Caitlin continued, "Amanda, your challenge is sort of like Pin the Tail on the Donkey, except it's more like 'Pin the Shirt on the Sydney!'"
"Ew," Amanda and Sydney simultaneously said.
Caitlin gave Amanda a green clip-on shirt, and blindfolded her. "All you have to do is be able to put the shirt on Sydney. It might be tricky, since she already has a shirt on. Aaaand, go!"
Amanda cluelessly wandered around. "Uhhh, is this Sydney?"
She unknowingly put the shirt on Angie, and Angie commented, "Green looks pretty good on me."
Amanda removed her blindfold. "You're right, it does!"
Caitlin sighed. "Looks like Amanda didn't win the point. Angie and Brendon are, still, deadlocked with two points each. Sydney is Brendon's last supporter. Angie still has Brandon and Timothy. Let's see how this turns out."
Brandon spun the wheel with minimal excitement.
It stopped at a picture of Luke destroying a flat-screen TV with a baseball bat.
"The commercial challenge in Hollywood!" Caitlin determined.
Brandon asked, "So, what am I, er, advertising?"
Caitlin threw a coconut at him. "That."
He caught it and asked in disbelief, "How am I supposed to sell this product? It's not even a product! And it smells like the back end of a horse."
"I honestly don't care," Caitlin replied. "After I say 'go', you've got fifteen seconds to make the audience want to buy that coconut. Ready?"
Brandon shook his head quickly.
Brandon looked at the camera and inquired, "Have you ever wanted your very own authentic Hawaiian coconut, but never had the chance to go to Hawaii? Why not buy this one? It looks and acts just like your standard Hawaiian coconut! It's brown! It has holes! It has coconut milk in it! And it smells just like a normal coconut!"
"Time's up!" Caitlin stopped.
Lindsay eagerly asked, "Ooooh! Brendon! Can I have one?"
Brandon corrected, "My name is Brandon."
"Let's not start this right now," Sydney snapped.
Caitlin shrugged. "I guess that's good enough. Team Angie now leads with three points! Team Brendon has two. Sydney's up next for Team Brendon, and she needs to win in order for Brendon to even have a chance. After that, Timothy's the last one up for Team Angie. What'll happen? All will be answered, after the break."
Sydney exhaled. "Here goes nothing."
She gave the wheel a heavy spin and waited for it to stop.
Brendon gave her an assuring smile, and she nodded back.
The wheel stopped on an image of Claire spying on Ivy.
"Virginia!" Caitlin quickly stated.
Sydney gasped. "Yes! I rocked that challenge!"
Caitlin reminded, "Remember, Sydney, you have to win this in order for Brendon to even have a chance to tie the score."
She gulped. "Alright. What's the task?"
"You'll have to tell me three secrets about any three contestants on the show," Caitlin instructed. "They have to be something that no one could have learned just by watching the show."
Sydney nodded. "Okay. I think I can do this."
Caitlin pointed to her. "And.... Go!"
Sydney thought for a moment, then said, "Okay. Jessica's really bad at math."
"Hey! " Jessica called out from the peanut gallery.
"Well, you were always asking everyone how many of us were left," Sydney defended. "Anyways, moving on. Uhhh... Oh! Brandon's allergic to cotton."
Brandon shuddered. "She's right. All of my shirts are made of 100% polyester."
Sydney closed her eyes. "And... um..."
She stopped talking for a moment.
"Well, Sydney," Caitlin sighed. "That's only two. It looks like--"
"I had a crush on Luke at the beginning of the show!" Sydney blurted, quickly covering her mouth.
Everyone gasped, except for Luke, who looked at her strangely.
Sydney repeated, "At the beginning of the show. Before he turned out to be a no-good, backstabbing, manipulative, jerk."
Luke nodded. "That's more like it."
Caitlin stuttered. "Er, um... Well, then. I guess that means Brendon and Angie are now tied at three points each. We're down to our last contestant, Timothy, for Team Angie."
As Sydney walked back to her seat, Luke asked, "Did you... really... I mean... was that true?"
"Why don't we pretend this never happened?" Sydney suggested, looking away.
Timothy passed by Angie, and the two exchanged glances.
Angie smiled, "You can do this."
"I know I can," Timothy responded, grinning.
He spun the wheel happily. "Let's go Team Angie!"
The wheel slowed down, skipping Newfoundland, Quebec, Toronto, Boston, New York...
"New Jersey!" Caitlin announced.
Timothy froze. "... New Jersey?"
Caitlin nodded. "That's right. For your challenge, you'll have to endure a heavy spray-tan, and then show us your best dance moves."
Timothy asked, "Er, can I spin again?"
"No," Caitlin rejected. "Remember, if you win this challenge, Angie wins the whole shebang! If you lose, Brendon and Angie face off in a tiebreaker challenge, and one of them will probably wind up like Al over there."
She jerked her thumb over to Alejandro, who waved back in the Drama Machine.
Timothy: (Hawaiian confessional) I really don't wanna be spray-tanned. Or have to dance in public. But... Angie might end up like Alejandro. I can't let that happen!
He sighed. "Alright. Let's go."
Chef walked towards him with several bottles of tanning spray. "Alright, boy, we'll start with the face."
Timothy turned to Chef, but before he could say anything, Chef sprayed his eyes.
"Gah!" Timothy shrieked, stumbling backwards into a sand dune.
He ran off screaming, "My eyes! My eyes!"
Chef shrugged. "I warned him, didn't I?"
Angie bit her lip. "So, does that mean..."
Caitlin looked at Angie and Brendon. "Tiebreaker time."
Chris stood up. "Hang on. We've got a thirty-minute time slot, folks, and we've already used twenty-seven of 'em. How are we supposed to fit a tiebreaker challenge in three minutes?"
"And we still need to decide who's staying here in Hawaii," Josh added.
Angie and Brendon glanced at each other, and Brendon said, "You know, Caitlin, on the plane ride, Angie and I were talking while you were listening to music..."
Angie continued, "And we were all excited for the final challenge, and we decided..."
"That we'd be willing to end the season in a tie, if that's okay with you," Brendon finished.
Chris answered before Caitlin could say anything. "What? No. Ew. Ties are gross."
Caitlin thought for a moment. "Actually, that's a good idea."
"You're kidding," Chris said, looking at her with agony. "Just let them play Rock, Paper, Scissors and get it over with!"
Caitlin shoved Chris away and decided, "Alright. I know how this'll be settled. Viewers, you will decide who wins. Visit the official Total Drama Stardom website and cast your votes. Angie, or Brendon? It's up to you guys."
From the ground, Chris criticized, "That is so tacky!"
"So are your shoes," Caitlin retorted. "Anyways, we still need to figure out which two people are staying behind."
Chef raised his hand. "You know what? I'll stay here and look for that Ezekiel boy. I dunno what he's been doing, but it can't be good. Besides, I could get used to Hawaii."
Caitlin shrugged. "I guess that settles it. Chef and Ezekiel are staying behind. Angie and Brendon are still tied, and we're going to have to wait and see who wins. All will be revealed! On the next and final special episode of Total! Drama! Stardom! So, uh, who has the directions to the airport?"
Chapter 27: An Abrupt Ending
The episode opened up in the aftermath studio.
Caitlin, Chris, Josh, and Curmi all sat on the main host couch.
The contestants, old and new, all sat on the other couches or stood beside them.
Caitlin recapped, "Last time on Total Drama Stardom! Our final two, Angie and Brendon, made it to Hawaii. In our final challenge, the eliminated contestants had to fight for their finalist by undergoing some less-harsh versions of past challenges. But, we wound up with a tie. So we left it to you guys, our loyal viewers, to choose! Who's gonna win? Angie or Brendon? Let's find out right now! Only on this episode of Total! Drama! Stardom!"
After the theme song, Caitlin decided, "I think we should take a moment to look back at what these two have been through."
"Good idea," Josh nodded. "Roll the clips!"
A montage of clips featuring Angie began playing, with the Total Drama theme song in the background.
Angie looked at the clips happily. "That outfit was so cute."
"You're wearing the same one right now," Josh blankly stated.
Angie pulled out a compact mirror and examined herself. "Wow, you're right."
She silently put it back as Brendon's clips began to play.
Brendon giggled. "I was so much shorter."
"... You're the same height. It's only been, like, three weeks, guys," Caitlin clarified.
The clipshow ended, and Caitlin grinned. "Alright. Now it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for."
"The winner!" Chris began.
"Of Total Drama Stardom..." Josh added.
"Is!" Curmi chimed.
"WAIT!" Owen yelled.
Everyone irritatedly shot a glance at him.
Chris sighed, "What is it, Owen?"
He ran off. "I need to go to the little contestant's room. Wait for me!"
Caitlin crossed her legs. "Fine. In the meantime, I think it'd be nice to read and answer some questions that loyal Total Drama fans have been asking."
"Sounds good," Chris nodded.
Caitlin pulled out a stack of index cards and read, "Okay. This question is for Heather and Alejandro."
Heather groaned. "Can you not address the two of us in the same sentence? I don't want people to think we're a 'thing.'"
"You guys made out on top of an active volcano," Geoff reminded.
Heather shook her head. "I only did it to distract him. Which worked."
"Aaaand," Josh teased, "You lost the money after a mutated Ezekiel dropped it in the lava."
Heather scowled. "Don't remind me."
Caitlin cleared her throat. "Anyways. 'TDAFan14' wants to know, 'Do you two regret being so deceitful in the competition?'"
Heather rolled her eyes. "Not at all. I won a season. That's all I need."
Alejandro - who was in the Drama Machine - shrugged.
"I'll take that as a 'no'," Caitlin decided.
She flipped through the index cards again.
"This next question is from 'Cheapkisses82,'" Caitlin read.
LeShawna mumbled, "These people got some weird names."
Caitlin pointed to Izzy. "This one's for you."
Izzy clapped excitedly, and Caitlin read, "If you could become Brainzilla again, would you?"
Izzy frowned. "Who's Brainzilla? And who are you? Where's the regular blonde chick who sits there and annoys everyone?"
Blaineley made muffled protests from her dolly, and Caitlin sighed. "I think we should move on."
Izzy shrugged innocently and sat on Noah's lap.
Caitlin laughed, "Oh, ho ho. This should be good."
She pointed to Duncan, who was conveniently sitting between Gwen and Courtney, and Trent was sitting directly below them.
"That can't be good," Gwen thought aloud.
Caitlin grinned evilly. "'Twinklefog' wants to know, 'Duncan, would you ever leave Gwen and give Courtney a second chance? And Gwen, would you ever leave Duncan and give Trent a second chance?'"
The audience all curiously murmured.
Courtney gave Duncan a menacing glare.
Duncan shook his head. "I've given Miss C.I.T. over here plenty of chances. She's just gotta chill and face the facts."
"What 'facts', Duncan?" Courtney demanded. "The only fact I have to face is the fact that Gwen is a no-good, gothic boyfriend-stealer!"
Gwen snapped, "You know, he kissed me."
Trent turned around. "Wait, what?"
The audience gasped. "Oooooh!"
"Is... is that true, Duncan?" Courtney asked, with her voice cracking slightly.
Duncan looked at Gwen in shock. "Don't go blaming this on me, honey. We kissed each other."
Trent and Courtney both sighed in unison, and they noticed immediately.
"What's your answer to the question, Gwen?" Caitlin purposely reminded.
Gwen stuttered, "Well, you see, um, Trent is... uh..."
Fortunately for Gwen, Owen rushed back. "Am I late?!"
Gwen exhaled, and LeShawna patted her on the back. "Saved by the bell."
"You're actually right on time!" Josh replied. "Caitlin, the results?"
Caitlin nodded. "Right. The winner..."
Angie and Brendon held hands.
"Of Total Drama Stardom..." The finalists shut their eyes.
"With a majority of the votes..."
Everyone leaned forward in their seats.
Suddenly, the power went off in the aftermath studio.
"Oh, that's just great," Chris frowned. "Now we're off the air."
Josh said, "Actually, the cameras are still rolling, we just can't see a darn thing."
Caitlin stood up in frustration. "Geez! First Owen, now the power."
"I can probably fix it," Curmi volunteered. "It'll take about five or so minutes, though."
Chris shoved Curmi backstage. "Go, go, go!"
Eva growled. "I don't like waiting!"
Chris suggested, "Er, Caitlin, maybe you should just say who won before Eva knocks us all into submission."
Caitlin folded her arms and sat back down. "I'm not going to properly announce the winner in total darkness."
"Fine, then I will!" Chris triumphantly stated.
"You barely even know their names," Caitlin frowned.
Chris denied, "That's not true! She's Angie, and he's Brandon."
"I'm Brandon," Brandon corrected from his seat, not being seen in the darkness.
Chris looked puzzled. "I thought you were Brendon."
Caitlin stomped her foot. "This is not the time!"
Justin asked, "You know, the Drama Brothers haven't had a live performance in a while."
Cody grinned. "Maybe we could give you guys a sneak peek of the lead single from our new album!"
"Without power?" Chris irritatedly pointed out.
Trent noted, "You don't need power to play an acoustic guitar, drums, and a tamborine."
Chris shrugged. "Go ahead."
Trent, Justin, and Cody all rushed towards their instruments.
Cody frowned. "Where's Harold?"
Harold ran to them, now in his H-Bomb attire. "I'm here!"
"Alright, let's do this!" Trent happily encouraged.
Cody tapped the drumsticks together. "One, two, three!"
Just as they were about to play, the power came back.
"Phew!" Caitlin breathed. "Looks like we're fine now."
Harold complained, "I got into my tracksuit for nothing! This is wack, dog."
Justin chimed, "Seriously lame."
"You guys aren't even famous anymore," Josh pointed out.
Trent gasped. "What?"
Josh explained, "While you guys were stranded in Hawaii, a new boy band knocked your songs off the charts. You're nobodies... again!"
The four former pop stars groaned.
Caitlin looked around. "Can I pick the winner now? I have a massage appointment at five."
Chris hurried, "Yeah, get on with it."
The lights dimmed, and Caitlin stated, "The winner of Total Drama Stardom, is..."
She paused for dramatic effect.
Jessica sighed. "I'm not even curious anymore. You're gonna get interrupted at any time now."
Surprisingly, nothing happened.
Caitlin finished. "Angie!"
Confetti was released and music blared throughout the studio.
Angie remained unimpressed. "That's nice and all, but what do I win?"
The adults all awkwardly glanced at each other, except for Chris.
He winked. "A spot in the next season. And bragging rights for this one."
Everyone looked at him in confusion.
"Next season?" Duncan defiantly asked. "We're done with this little show here."
Chris shook his head. "Natch. Remember? Contract. I can keep you guys on for as many seasons as I want."
Ivy stood up. "We aren't binded by that. ... Are we?"
Caitlin motioned her to sit back down. "Oh, yes you are."
Ivy reluctantly took her seat again.
Chris stood up. "Before you guys become the party poopers that you always are, hear me out."
"I am sick and tired of listening to you, dang fool," LeShawna grimaced.
Chris shot her an annoyed glance and he continued, "I've got a fifth season in store. Unfortunately, I can't have fourty contestants, because the twenty-four of you annoyed me enough, and I don't think I'd stay sane with another sixteen. But instead, I've got room for sixteen of you."
"And who might those sixteen people be?" Courtney asked, now interested.
Chris explained, "I'll announce them... right after the break!"
After the break, Chris eagerly stood in the center of the studio.
"Can you hurry this up?" Eva growled.
Chris sighed. "You're no fun. At all. Anyways, while there was a poll up for Angie and Brendon, there was also a survey on the website asking general questions about the show."
"Like...?" Beth asked.
Chris shrugged. "Just stuff like, 'Who's your favorite character?', 'Which challenge was your favorite?', or 'Why is Beth so annoying?'"
Beth frowned, and Chris continued, "So, based on the results - actually, who am I kidding? I picked these myself. The first eight returning contestants are..."
The air tensed as Chris read off, "Angie! Brendon! Gwen! DJ! Sydney! Brian! Izzy! And Noah!"
Spotlights shone on the eight individuals, all of which tacitly remained in their seats.
"Way to go. Try not to get pushed off a plane this time around," Duncan teased, patting Gwen on the back.
Gwen playfully rolled her eyes, much to Courtney's annoyance.
Angie and Brendon turned to each other.
Brendon blinked. "So. Good game, I guess?"
"Is this really my prize?" Angie frowned. "Can't I at least get something worth value?"
Caitlin threw pack of mint gum at her in irritation. "How about this?"
Angie inspected the gum. "Good enough."
The lights dimmed, and Chris stated, "Now, for the last eight."
He began, "Ivy..."
Ivy groaned. "Wonderful."
He shot a glare at her and continued, "Timothy..."
"Oh, boy," Timothy unsurely commented.
Chris read, "LeShawna..."
LeShawna sighed. "At least I don't have to be with--"
"Heather," Chris continued.
Heather's eyes widened. "No way."
Before LeShawna and Heather could begin one of their infamous arguments, Chris stated, "Harold, Tyler..."
Harold grinned. "Yes!"
"And finally, Valerie and Mordecai!" Chris concluded.
Courtney cleared her throat. "Chris, I think you forgot to say, 'Courtney.'"
Chris scanned his list. "Hmm... Courtney... nope, no Courtney on here."
Courtney stuttered, "Wh... What? But you can't have a season without me! I did all the work! These slackers were nothing but bad injury-comedy!"
"And, that's all, folks!" Chris signed off, ignoring Courtney. "Tune in to the next season of Total Drama! For more laughs, more fun, and obviously, more drama. Chris McLean, signing off!"
As the screen faded to black, Courtney snapped, "At least take Gwen off the show...!"
WINNER: This contestant won the season.
RUNNER-UP: This contestant placed second.
WIN: Contestant was on the winning team for that challenge. (Chapters 2 - 15)
WIN: Contestant won the challenge for himself/herself/their team. (Chapters 1 - TBA)
IN: Contestant was on the team which neither won nor lost the challenge. (Chapters 2 - 15)
IN: Had their name called at the Rest Stop Ceremony.
LOW: Received the final candy bar at the Rest Stop Ceremony.
LOW: Contestant was supposed to be eliminated, but something occurred, keeping them in the competition.
OUT: Voted out or eliminated in this chapter.
1| This chapter did not include an elimination.
2| This chapter included a double-elimination.
Chapters 6, 12, 18, and 24 are Celebrity Manhunt Exclusive Aftermaths, which do not include the currently participting contestants, therefore, are not included on the Elimination Table.
- Please take into account that Total Drama Stardom is my continuation of the canon series. This is not in the "TD...?" universe, it is my version of the fourth season of Total Drama.
- The first eight contestants are based off of people I know in real life, the only exceptions being Luke and Amanda.
- Sydney looks and acts the most like the person who she is based off of.
- Everyone who used the confessional in I Spy With My Little Ally... was female.
- Originally, Celebrity Manhunt's Exclusive Aftermath Shows were going to be hosted by one-time characters such as LeShaniqua, Owen's mother, the psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook, and so on (Two characters would be randomly selected to host the shows).
- The song that Jessica sings in Cam-pain Managers is "I Found a Way" by Drake Bell.
- Child's Play is the first (and so far, only) chapter to take place entirely at night.
- The challenge in Chapter 11, Life's a Peach, is base loosely off of an episode of Top Chef: All-Stars, which included two teams of five making their own restaurants and their own dishes in order to please their customers, which voted on the winning team.
- The fanfiction was nearly discontinued after it's twelfth chapter.
- Chapter 13, Flowriders, is similar to Ocean's Eight - Or Nine for several reasons.
- Both are the thirteenth episode/chapter of their season.
- Both were the first episode/chapter seen since a long hiatus.
- Both were aired/posted on June 24th (Ocean's Eight - Or Nine in 2009, Flowriders in 2011).
- The author dislikes both the chapter and the episode.
- The gag with Sydney's breast flying out in Chapter 16 was based on an episode of Victorious.
- The "Chunk Meat" seen in Chapter 19, Canyon Companions, is a direct reference to an iCarly episode featuring animal food fed to fourth-graders called "Chunk Meat." It strengthened hooves instead of beaks.
List of Locations
- New Season, Newf Kids - St. Johns, Newfoundland, Canada
- I Spy With My Little Ally... - Quebec City, Quebec, Canada
- Spin Cycle - Toronto, Ontario, Canada
- Bosom Cream Pie - Boston, Massachusetts, USA
- New York Dorks - New York City, New York, USA
- All's Fair in Love and the Shore - Seaside Heights, New Jersey, USA
- Cam-pain Managers - Washington D.C., USA
- An Inside Scoop - McLean, Virginia, USA
- Child's Play - Asheville, North Carolina, USA
- Life's a Peach - Charleston, South Carolina, USA
- Flowriders - Key West, Florida, USA
- Twists of Fate - New Orleans, Louisiana, USA
- A Diamond an Almost Dozen - Murfreesboro, Arkansas, USA
- The Wizards of Oz - Topeka, Kansas, USA
- Everything's Bicker in Texas - San Antonio, Texas, USA
- Canyon Companions - Grand Canyon, Arizona, USA
- Alliance Fiction - Area 51, Nevada, USA
- What Happens in Vegas... - Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
- ... Stays in Vegas - Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
- Shameful Advertising - Hollywood, California, USA
- Cali-four-nia Capers - California, USA
- Honolosers - Honolulu, Hawaii, USA
- In New Season, Newf Kids, Valerie drinks the vinegar as if nothing is wrong with it. However, when she first found out that it was vinegar, she complained about it with the other contestants.
- In I Spy With My Little Ally..., Caitlin says that the factory is underground, however, the Studded Stars were able to find the factory from a distance.
- When Caitlin does the recap in Spin Cycle, she says that Mitchell lead the Stars to victory, however, Mitchell is on the Cards.
- In Bosom Cream Pie, Caitlin says that the explosive ingredient has to be in the cake, however, none of the teams do so, but she doesn't mention it.
- In New York Dorks, there are two C trains in which the contestants use, one green, one grey, however, those trains do not exist. Neither does the orange S train. However, a blue C train and a grey S train do exist.
- In New York Dorks, with every question answered in the subway, street updates were given, however, there is no possible way to determine what street you are on in the subway besides train stops. For example, between the 103rd and 110th street stations, there is no way to tell what street you are on except for a slightly inaccurate time-distance proportion.
- In Child's Play, Luke implies that he has never seen a woman half-naked, however, in Bosom Cream Pie, both Sydney and Valerie were topless (however, this might not be what Luke considers "half-naked").
- Credit goes to every user who signed up on the talk page for a potential spot in the fanfiction, and for everyone leaving inspiring comments on the talk page (and the threats on the IRC), always motivating me to keep writing chapters, especially during that horrible four-month hiatus.
- Credit goes to CD-TDA and Bbhinton15 for thinking of the team names.
- Credit goes to TDA ROCKS for the title of Chapter 1, New Season, Newf Kids.
- Credit goes to CD-TDA and TotalDramaAddict for helping create the challenge for Chapter 2, I Spy With My Little Ally....
- Credit goes to CD-TDA, Bbhinton15, Nalyd Renrut, and DJ fan for giving ideas for some moments in Chapter 3, Spin Cycle, and Chapter 4.
- Credit goes to Nalyd Renrut for the title of Chapter 4, Bosom Cream Pie.
- Credit goes to Bigez620 for the title of Chapter 5, New York Dorks.
- Credit goes to TDIFan13 for thinking of Curmi's name.
- Credit goes to Bbhinton15 for thinking of the location and the second half of the challenge for Chapter 15, A Diamond an Almost Dozen.
- Credit goes to Mr. Totaldramaman, neko-naito, and Dakotacoons for thinking of many ideas and moments in Chapter 19, Canyon Companions.
- Credit goes to TDIFan13 for not killing me for using a challenge from Total Drama Roleplay in Chapter 23, Shameful Advertising.
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