Total Drama World Tour and it's 17 person cast is one of the most beloved seasons and casts-- but what if the 7 non-competitiors had competed in this season? This reimagining by Epic answers that question!.
Chapter One- Walk Like An Egyptian Part 1
“Welcome back to Total Drama, for our EXCITING third season!” Chris stood on a runway, smiling. “The world is gonna be mine. Sea to shining sea! Sadly, I have to share it with a 3 ring traveling freakshow. Also known as the Total Drama contestants.” Chris chuckled.
“We have every single contestant from Total Drama here with us, and two new contestants! Every episode, they’ll compete in a challenge in a different part of the world, and one loser will get off my plane, for good.” Chris laughed again. “And the last loser standing scores one million dollars! Now, let’s bring in our contestants!”
A bus pulled up to the runway, and the door opened. “Introducing Geoff, Bridgette, Izzy, and Trent!”
Geoff and Bridgette walked out of the bus kissing. Trent walked out and waved to the camera, until Izzy jumped on his head. “HAHAHAHHAHA SEASON THREE! YAY! I hope we’re doing movies again, that was sooooo fun. Has anyone ever told you your head is really long?” Izzy asked.
“Not...recently,” Trent said.
“Also here, Gwen and DJ!” Chris said.
“Hey, Gwen!” Trent smiled.
Gwen hid behind DJ, who walked out of the bus. “Sorry, you’re on your own for this one,” he chuckled.
Gwen sighed and was about to talk to Trent, but Chris cut her off.
“Also here are some of your favorite losers who DIDN’T make it Total Drama Action! Say hello to Ezekiel, Eva, Noah, Katie, Sadie, Tyler, Cody, and Courtney!” Chris grinned, as they walked out of the bus.
“I am not a LOSER! I did make it to Total Drama Action!” Courtney yelled at Chris.
“Only because you SUED the show. Therefore, you get to stand with those lovely people!” Chris grinned as the camera panned over to Ezekiel picking his nose, Katie and Sadie gossiping, Eva lifting weights, Noah reading a book, Tyler, who had tripped over his own feet and was lying on the ground, and Cody, who winked at Courtney.
“Ugh,” she groaned, and walked over to the contestants who had already arrived.
“Also here and competing, Owen, Heather, and Leshawna!” Chris introduced.
“Finally! If I was on a bus with Heather and her new fur for any longer, I would have hurt somebody!” Leshawna chuckled.
“It’s not fur! It’s HUMAN extensions!” Heather yelled.
“That’s what she says.” Gwen whispered to Leshawna, who laughed. Heather glared at both.
“WOOO! SEASON THREE! THIS IS GONNA BE-- wait, why is there a plane there? We aren’t flying, right?” Owen gulped.
“Yes, yes we are.” Chris grinned.
“Oh, that’s...um…not a problem. I got over my fear of flying ages ago...remember that fear challenge...yeah...totally over it...not a problem.” Owen looked around nervously.
“And our final batch of contestants, Justin, Lindsay, Harold, Beth, and Duncan!” Chris grinned.
Justin posed as he stepped off the bus, causing all the girls to swoon. Duncan kicked Harold off the bus, and then stepped off himself.
“Hey! Watch it!” Harold complained.
“Move it or lose it, dweeb.” Duncan said.
“Good to know you haven’t become any less of an IDIOT between seasons! GOSH!” Harold said, walking away.
Lindsay and Beth ran off the bus together. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe we’re on ANOTHER season together!” Beth said, excitedly.
“I know right! It’s sooo great!” Lindsay smiled.
“Pfft. What posers. I mean, we’re obviously the best best friends here.” Sadie rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, they’re like…” Katie began.
“Amateurs.” Both said at the same time, they then started squealing.
“We are sooooo in-sync.” They said once again, simultaneously. They then began to squeal louder.
“Alright, now that all of our regular contestants are here, time to introduce our two new contestants!” Chris grinned. “First up, a latin gentlemen who’s so charming he puts royalty to shame, Alejandro!” Alejandro smirked and stepped off the bus.
“Isn’t that the Total Drama Dirtbags guy?” Heather said.
“Yes, and I was just paid for that silly stunt by Chris. I can assure you I am not a dirtbag,” Alejandro smiled and bowed.
“We don’t think you’re a dirtbag.” Beth said, sounding smitten.
“Um, what happened to me? I’m hot? Remember?” Justin asked.
“Eh.” Beth said.
“I still think you’re hot, buddy.” Owen said and hugged Justin, crushing him.
“Thanks.” Justin whimpered.
“Our second new contestant is a Total Drama superfan who’s addicted to sugar, and addicted to Cody, Sierra!” Chris introduced, as she stepped off the bus.
“OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD I’m on Total Drama! I’ve been waiting for this moment forever!” Sierra said at an extremely fast pace.
“OHMYGOSH CODY! I’m your biggest fan!” She squealed.
“He has fans?” Gwen whispered to Leshawna. She shrugged.
“Well, not my fault the ladies can’t get enough of this.” Cody flexed and winked at Gwen, who rolled her eyes.
Sierra took out measuring tape. “Your muscles are so much BIGGER than last time!” Sierra yelled.
“Last time?” Cody asked.
“I mean, the first time! Because I never snuck into your house and measured it in your sleep. Heh, heh, heh….” Sierra trailed off.
“Alright, now that...whatever that was is over, it’s time to board! Chef?” Chris asked, as the gigantic jet slowly rolled up to the contestants.
“This is the Chris McLean Jumbo Jet, aka, where you’ll be staying this season!” Chris grinned, as a large chunk of the plane came off.
“That’s comforting.” Noah said.
“WE’RE FLYING ON THAT?” Owen yelled. “I mean, everything’s fine, yep, no fears of flying here!”
“Is that thing even safe?” Bridgette questioned.
“I’ll get back to you on that one. Now boarding!” Chris hollered, as the 24 contestants walked on to the plane.
“This season, you’ll be traveling around the world to compete in all sorts of exotic challenges.” Chris said.
“A free world tour? That doesn’t sound so bad, actually.” Trent said.
“I was hoping you would say that.” Chris laughed. “Because this season, you’ll all have to SING!”
“WHAT?” All 24 contestants said at once.
“Singing? Are you SERIOUS?” Gwen asked, looking shocked.
“100 percent.” Chris grinned. “Every episode, too.”
“No, no, no. I do not dance. I do not sing. I am NOT doing this.” Duncan said, shaking his head.
“Well, suit yourself, but if you don’t sing, you’re out. No million for you.” Chris shrugged.
“I don’t have a problem with it. I’ve always wanted to sing on TV!” Courtney said.
“Of course you wouldn’t.” Gwen rolled her eyes.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Courtney asked, glaring.
“As much as I’d love a cat fight, we kind of have a tour to do, so let’s get going!” Chris said. “Follow me.”
The contestants walked into a room filled with patched up holes and safety harnesses.
“What IS this place?” Eva asked, as a rat crawled on her shoe and she crushed it.
“This is loser central. Formally known as Economy Class. When you lose a challenge, you come here,” The contestants looked at it with disgust
“Heh, my team is never staying here, eh! We’re gonna DOMINATE!” Ezekiel cheered.
“Um, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but you were out first last time.” Justin said to Ezekiel.
“Yeah, but I’ve been preparing so that won’t happen this time! I’m bigger, better, stronger, faster, smarter, and--” Ezekiel began.
“Yeah, we don’t care.” Chris said, shushing the homeschooled boy. “Let’s keep moving!”
The next room they visited was one with gold seats and flight attendants walking around. The contestants all looked shocked.
“When did this show get a budget?” Gwen asked.
“Can I stay here?” DJ said, looking entranced.
“This is the winners section, first class. We spared no expense on this room. If you win the day’s challenge, you get an overnight stay here.” Chris smiled.
Ezekiel sat down in one of the chairs. “Can I claim this chair as mine, yo? Cuz I’m gonna be in this room everyday!”
Alejandro walked over to a seat. “Ladies first.” he said, smoothly, gesturing for someone to sit down. Beth, Katie, Sadie, Leshawna, and Lindsay all raced to sit down. Bridgette began to walk until Geoff glared at her.
“What are you doing?” Geoff asked.
“...Going to the bathroom, babe! Obviously. Why would I do anything else?” Bridgette said, awkwardly chuckling. “Speaking of that, where is it?”
“Just down the hall.” Chris pointed. Bridgette walked to it.
Bridgette (CONF): *begins to fix hair and wash her face, until she looks up* There’s a camera in here? Again? Really?
“Um, Lindsay? Why are you paying attention to him, and not me?” Tyler asked.
“Huh? Sorry Dave, Alejandro is just really nice.” Lindsay said.
“It’s me. Tyler. The guy you hooked up with in season one?” Tyler said.
“No, silly. That’s TYLER. He’s never coming back.” Lindsay said. Tyler sighed.
“Yeah, Leshawna. Why are you hanging out with him and not me?” Harold scoffed.
“Be quiet, beanpole.” Leshawna said. Bridgette walked back in.
“Thanks for not telling me there was a camera in there.” Bridgette complained.
“Oh, right. There are two confessionals this time around. One in the bathroom, and one in the cockpit.” Chris said. “Anyway, let’s keep the tour moving.”
The contestants walked into an area with wooden bleachers and a door leading to the outside of the plane. “This is the elimination ceremony. Anyone who doesn’t get a barf bag of airline issue peanuts will be eliminated, and forced to take the drop of shame, onto the helipad of losers. And you can never come back, ever...unless I feel like it.” Chris said.
“I’m allergic to peanuts, yo. Can you get us some real food? I bet my parents on the farm would give ya some, eh?” Ezekiel said.
Chris glared. “Oh, look, an extra stop on our tour.” he said. He began walking to the back of the plane and opened the door to a room full of rats, spiders, and boxes. “If you follow me, you’ll see our cargo hold, which is perfect for storing annoying homeschooled children.”
“Wait, wha--” Ezekiel began, but before he could finish, Chris threw him in the cargo hold and locked the door.
“Will he survive in there?” Geoff asked.
“Eh, probably.” Chris said.
“OMG! Ezekiel is sooooo trainwreck-y wright now. LMAO, if he gets eliminated first again I will LOL!” Sierra giggled.
“Yeah...whatever that means.” Chris said.
“What was that?” Cody asked.
“That, my friend was, the bell you’ll all grow to know and hate. When you hear that, you’ve gotta start singing. No rehearsals, no lyrics, no nothing. And remember, if you don’t sing, you’re out. And your first song starts...now!” Chris said.
Whole cast sans Gwen and Duncan: We’re flying! And singing! We’re flying and we’re singing!
Sierra/Cody: Come fly with us!
Beth: Come fly with us!
Izzy: We’ve got a lot of crazy moves to bust!
Bridgette/Lindsay: Come fly with us!
Katie/Sadie: Come fly with us!
Alejandro: It’s a pleasure and an honor and a must.
“Dudes, this is messed. You’re singing in a plane.” Duncan rolled his eyes.
Harold: What did you expect? Chris is freaking insane!
“Yeah, but guys, you’re singing on TV!” Gwen said.
Courtney: Haven’t you always wanted to? It can’t just be meeeeeee!
DJ/Leshawna: Come fly with us!
Geoff/Trent: Come fly with us!
“Do you know how to steer this thing?” Heather asked, looking concerned.
“I try.” Chef said.
Ezekiel: They thought they could leave me and depart, but this guy’s got winning in his heart!
Noah: Come fly with us, come die with us!
“Yep, I don’t hate flying, not at all, keep the plane in the air!” Owen said, looking nervous.
Whole cast sans Gwen and Duncan: Come fly with us! Come sing with us!
“No!” Gwen and Duncan said simultaneously.
Chris took out a form from his pocket. “According to this copy of the season three rules….”
Bridgette: All contestants must sing in each show!
Courtney: Duncan do it! Let’s go!
Trent: Gwen, sing it! Don’t go!
Gwen: *sighs* Come fly with us! Come fly with us! Come and fly with us!
“Duncan, please?” Courtney pleaded.
Duncan: *sighs* This suuuuuuucks!
Whole cast: Yeah!
Later, everyone sat in the common area.
“How far do you think we are?” Cody asked.
“Judging by what I can see, I’d say we are--” The plane loudly crashed down to the ground. “...landing.”
Everyone except Ezekiel stood outside. “Why is it so hot?” Leshawna complained.
“I dunno, maybe the fact that we’re in Egypt? Just a guess.” Noah rolled his eyes.
“Do not sass me, turkey.” Leshawna said, glaring.
“Welcome to your first challenge, Pyramid Over-Under!” Chris grinned. “As the name suggests, the challenge is to get through the pyramid either over,” The large pyramid’s full height was shown. “or under.” Bats flew out of the pyramid’s base.
“This challenge decides the teams, and what reward they’ll get for our first challenge!” Chris announced. “Ready, set--”
“WAIT, EH!” A voice cried, everyone gasped.
“You can’t start without me!” Ezekiel yelled.
“How did you get out of the cargo hold?” Chris asked.
“The rats bit through the door, homie! And I’m not losing like this! I’m in it to win it!” Ezekiel said.
“Fine, whatever.” Chris said.
“What’s the challenge?” Ezekiel asked.
“Not telling you. Go!” Chris yelled, and everyone ran except Ezekiel.
“What are we supposed to do?” Ezekiel asked.
“WHAT WAS THAT CHEF? YOU NEEDED THAT THING FIXED ON THE PLANE? I’M ON IT!” Chris ran back onto the plane. Ezekiel sighed and walked after the contestants.
“Let’s go under!” Leshawna said.
“But there are bats!” DJ cried.
“Stop being such a baby!” Leshawna cried and dragged DJ and Harold into the pyramid.
“Let’s go over, babe.” Geoff said to Bridgette.
“Sure.” she smiled back.
“Alejandmoe, can I go with you?” Lindsay asked.
“I want to go with you too, Alejandro!” Sadie said.
“Me too!” Katie agreed.
“Me three!” Beth said.
“We can all go over together.” Alejandro smiled.
“Yay!” All four cheered at once.
Heather (CONF): The new guy is so transparent and fake. He’s obviously playing those girls, and they’re too dumb to see it. I need dumb allies who don’t hate me too, and the only two I could think of were…
“Hey, Cody, Sierra, want to go up the pyramid together?” Heather smiled.
“OMG YES!” Sierra cheered.
“Sure, I guess?” Cody said.
Cody (CONF): I don’t exactly trust Heather, especially since she’s only spoken to me like three times, ever, but hey, no one else was offering. Plus, I get to go with Sierra, who’s hopelessly in love with me! This is gonna be great!
“Come on guys! Team E-scope, yay!” Izzy cheered, grabbing Eva and Noah.
“Can I come?” Owen asked.
“Of course, Big O!” Izzy grinned. Owen ran to the group.
Owen (CONF): Izzy’s great. She can be weird, but she’s great. I could never ask for a better girlfriend! Although Heather IS pretty hot…
“Hey, Justin! Can you tell me what the challenge is, eh?” Ezekiel asked.
“TYLER, TRENT, YOU WANT ME TO GO WITH YOU GUYS? OKAY, SORRY GOTTA GO.” Justin yelled and ran to Tyler and Trent, dragging them to the side of the pyramid.
“And, I guess that means we’re going together then.” Courtney said.
“Yep.” Gwen said.
“I wasn’t talking about you, I was talking about me and Duncan. Find your own partner!” Courtney said.
“Chill out, Court. She can come over with us.” Duncan said.
“Thanks.” Gwen said.
Ezekiel frowned and slowly walked into the pyramid.
Eva, Izzy, Owen, and Noah walked to a crossroads, where there were three doors.
“Which one do we take?” Owen asked.
“Let’s take the mummy one! It looks spooooky!” Izzy said, then backflipped through the door. Owen quickly ran after her. Noah and Eva shrugged and followed.
“Izzy, slow down!” Owen complained.
“I can’t even see her.” Eva complained.
Suddenly, a mummy, draped in bandages, came walking towards Eva, Noah, and Owen.
“Sorry Izzy, I’m not falling for that one! Remember the “bear” from the island. We all know it’s just you.” Owen laughed. The mummy bit his arm.
“AUGH! I’M GONNA TURN INTO A MUMMY NOW! That’s how it works, right?” Owen asked Noah.
“No, that’s zombies.” Noah said.
“Wait, if that’s zombies, how do Vampires work?” Owen asked.
“Vampires don’t turn other people into vampires.” Noah said.
“I’m pretty sure they do.” Owen said.
“SHUT UP!” Eva yelled. “Now let’s go! Come on Izzy!” Eva grabbed the bandages and pulled, but they stayed on.
“Does that mean…” Owen said.
“...that’s actually a…” Eva said.
“MUMMY!” All three yelled in unison and began to run down the corridor.
“Ugh, this is hard.” Justin complained as he, Trent, and Tyler climbed the pyramid.
“Pfft, this is nothing!” Tyler said, flexing. Without his hands on the blocks, he began to tumble down the pyramid until Trent grabbed him.
“Nice one.” Trent chuckled. All three then reached the top.
“How do we get down, exactly?” Justin asked.
“Um…” Trent said. “Didn’t really think of that one…”
“EXTREME!” Tyler began to run down the pyramid, but immediately slipped and began tumbling down, until he reached the bottom.
“WOO! First one down!” Tyler cheered.
“Actually, Trent and Justin climbed down before you. Like normal people.” Chris said. “Anyway, Justin, you’re on team 1. Trent and Tyler, team 2.” All three guys walked onto their mats
Eva, Noah, and Owen continued to run, as the mummy chased them through many different paths.
“Can’t….run…..any…..further…..” Owen said, collapsing. “Remember...me….”
“I’M TIRED OF THIS!” Eva yelled, running up to the mummy and punching it in the face.
“Ow!” Izzy cried. “You’re soooooo lucky I can’t see who did that.”
“It was Izzy this whole time?” Of course.” Noah sighed.
“Yeah, guys. Mummies don’t exist.” Owen said, walking away. Eva rolled her eyes.
“How come I couldn’t take the bandages off?” Eva asked.
“This gauze wrap is super sticky!” Izzy said. “Also probably the glue I put on it.” Eva facepalmed.
Bridgette and Geoff were climbing up the pyramid. “Man, this is hard.” Bridgette complained.
“Yeah, but as long as we’re together, we can overcome anything.” Geoff said.
“You’re so romantic.” Bridgette said, and the two began making out. They soon fell off the pyramid.
“Stop sucking face and start climbing!” Chris yelled.
Alejandro easily climbed up, while Lindsay, Beth, Katie, and Sadie trailed. “Are you ladies alright?” he asked, turning around.
“Peeeeeerfect.” All four said simultaneously.
Alejandro (CONF): I thought it would be harder to convince the girls to do my bidding, but they’re falling for it much harder than I thought they would. Give it a few days, and I’ll have control of the whole game. *smirks*
“Which door do we take, Sierra?” Heather asked.
Heather (Cockpit CONF): As much as I don’t like the new girl, I need to get her trust. I don’t exactly have a plethora of allies on hand.
“Maybe if you weren’t so evil, you would have more!” Chef commented.
“Who asked you?” Heather said.
“I don’t know, let’s let Cody decide!” Sierra said, hugging Cody.
“Uh…the mummy dog one looks the best to me.” Cody said.
“Then that’s the path we take!” Sierra said, running through it. Heather and Cody followed.
Sierra ran straight out to the exit. “Well, that was easy.”
“Sierra, Heather, Cody, you’re the next three to arrive, and you’re on Team 3!” Chris announced.
“Yay! Teamsies!” Sierra hugged Cody.
Cody (CONF): Maybe there is such a thing as a girl caring TOO much….
“Yo? Bros? Homies?” Ezekiel asked, walking alone in the pyramid. He then stepped on the same tile Izzy did, and gauze dropped onto him. “What the foshizzle?”
Bridgette and Geoff stood at the top of the pyramid.
“How exactly do we get down, babe?” Geoff asked Bridgette.
“Hmmm….I’ve got it! I’m a surfer! We can surf!” Bridgette grinned, pulling out a sign at the top of the pyramid.
“Surfing on a road sign? Is that saf--WOAH!” Geoff yelled, as Bridgette grabbed the road sign and put Geoff on it, they then began to surf down the pyramid.
“Woooo! This is awesome!” Geoff cheered as they reached the ground.
“Bridgette, team 1! Geoff, team 2” Chris announced.
“We’re on different teams?” Geoff said.
“Don’t worry, we’ll make it through.” Bridgette smiled. The two then began to make out.
“Seriously? I mean, seriously?” Chris said.
“Which path do we take?” DJ asked.
“Scarab beetle, duh.” Harold said, walking through that door.
“I guess he knows better than us.” Leshawna shrugged.
The three walked through the corridor. “So...Leshawna, what do you think of Alejandro? SOMEONE was getting a bit close, considering you do have a boyfriend.”
“We are not dating!” Leshawna said, pushing Harold, causing him to step on a tile that released scarab beetles throught the floor.
“Nice one, Leshawna!” Harold yelled as he ran.
“It’s your fault for saying something that stupid!” Leshawna retorted.
“Can we stop focusing on arguments and start focusing on our LIVES?” DJ said.
All three ran out of the pyramid. “Welcome out! All three of you are on team number 1.” Chris said.
“Alright, let’s get going.” Courtney ordered. “Duncan, you’re leading.”
“You’re letting ME lead?” Duncan asked, incredulously.
“I just want to make sure Gwen doesn’t try any FUNNY business,” Courtney said, looking behind her.
“Yes Courtney, I’m planning to steal your boyfriend! Oh no! Hide him!” Gwen rolled her eyes.
“Don’t be sarcastic to me!” Courtney said. Duncan sighed as the two began to bicker.
“Come on ladies! I believe in you!” Alejandro yelled down to the girls.
“I believe that you’re really hot!” Sadie called.
“I think you’re hotter!” Katie said.
“No I do!” Sadie yelled.
“No, I do!” Katie argued. The two began slapping each other.
“Ladies, I’ll help you a bit.” Alejandro grinned. He grabbed all four and stacked them on top of his shoulders.
“So strong…” Beth sighed, dreamily. Alejandro calmly walked down to the sand and put all four down, as they swooned.
Heather (CONF): Seriously? I knew that all four were complete idiots, but seriously?
“Welcome to the ground! Lindsay, you’re on team 1. Alejandro, you’re on team 2. Beth, Katie, and Sadie, you’re on team 3.” Chris said.
“Is there any order to how these teams are separated?” Alejandro asked.
“Not really. I’m basically doing what I want.” Chris shrugged.
“...Okay then.” Alejandro smiled.
Alejandro (CONF): Really? I work on four different girls, and none of them are on my team? Hmm...this certainly makes my gameplay harder. Well, it can still be arranged, I’m sure I’ll have some strong competitors on my team.
“AAAAAAAAAAAH!” Owen screamed, running out of the pyramid, followed by Eva, Noah, Izzy, and Ezekiel, both dressed as mummies.
“Why are there two mummies with you?” Chris asked.
“One is Izzy, but the other one just started following us!” Noah yelled.
Ezekiel took of the gauze wrapped around his head. “You could have thought to ask me who I was, yo!” he complained.
“Yes, because when I see the undead the first thing I do is ask for their backstory.” Noah rolled his eyes.
“Alright. Owen, Noah, Izzy, you’re on team 2. Zeke and Eva, team 1.” Chris said.
Alejandro (CONF): Seriously? I mean...seriously?
“On team one, cuz I’m number one, yo!” Ezekiel said, smugly.
“Don’t make me lock you in a cargo hold again.” Chris warned.
“At least I can make the finals!” Gwen yelled.
“Yeah, but you couldn’t last past episode seven in the last season!” Courtney yelled.
Duncan’s eye twitched. “ENOUGH!” he shouted, picking up both Gwen and Courtney and throwing them to the bottom of the pyramid as he stomped down.
“Please don’t put them on my team. Pleeeease don’t.” Duncan cried.
“Chill, bro. You’re on team 2. Gwen and Courtney, team 3.” Chris said.
“And that’s everyone! Team 1 is DJ, Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Bridgette, Eva, and Justin. Team 2 is Owen, Izzy, Alejandro, Noah, Tyler, Duncan, Geoff, and Trent. Finally, Team 3 is Gwen, Heather, Courtney, Cody, Sierra, Beth, Katie, and Sadie.” Chris announced. “Now that you have your teams, you get to come up with your own team names!”
“Team Amazon!” Everyone but Cody on Team 3 said.
“Can we get a different name? Like Cody’s Angels?” Cody suggested.
“Heh heh, I like that one.” Chris said, as a pink logo of Cody’s face came on-screen.
“How about Team Victory!” Bridgette suggested.
“Terrible! With a name like Team Victory, everyone knows you’ll be the losing team! It’s basic irony, gosh. A better name would be Team Failure!” Harold said.
“Nice one!” Chris chuckled. A yellow logo of a dirty sock came on-screen.
Team 2 began to suggest names, but no one listened to each others.
“I have an idea. Team Chris!” Chris grinned.
“Hmm, I have a better one. How about Team Chris…” Noah began.
“Love it!” Chris smiled.
“...is Really Really Really Really Lame!” Noah grinned as a blue logo of Chris’s face with an X over it came on screen.
“Well I know which team I like least already.” Chris glared at Noah. “I’d like to insult you further, but looks like we’re out of time! What will happen when our contestants face the Nile? Find out, next time, on Total...Drama...World Toooour!” Chris signed off.
Chapter Two- Walk Like An Egyptian Part 2
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our 24 losers were introduced to the Total Drama Jumbo Jet, and all of it’s fun features. We had a quick musical number before jetting off to Egypt, where our contestants competed in our first challenge of the season, Pyramid Over-Under. Some stumbled down the great gizan landmarks, while some, pyramid forbid, met mummies. Now, we have 3 teams all ready to compete for immunity. Who will win? Who will be the first sent out of the plane? Find out, right here, right now, on Total Drama World Tour!” Chris grinned.
“Can you stop recapping and explain the challenge already?” Courtney asked.
“Fine.” Chris said. “Alright, the second part of today’s challenge is called The Amazing Camel Race. Singular, because only one team is actually getting a camel.” Chris snickered.
“Each team will get a reward that will help them get to the nile before the others. Once there, you must weave a boat out of reeds and race across the river. The first team to do so gets immunity and first class. The second place team will also be immune, while the last place team will be headed on a one way trip to loser class, and one of their members will be the first person kicked off the plane. Got it?” Everyone nodded.
“You never told us what team gets what reward.” Eva said.
“Oh, right, that. Team Chris is really really really really lame, you get the goat!” Chris announced, while Chef brought it on on a leash.
“Awww, cute!” Izzy grinned.
“You think that’s cute?” Noah asked, looking surprised.
“You don’t?” Izzy replied.
“Team Failure, you get a camel.” Chris said, bringing the camel out on a leash.
“What’s OUR reward?” Heather asked.
“You guys get...a stick!” Chris grinned.
“WHAT?” the team all said at once.
“They get a camel, they get a goat, and we get a stick?” Gwen asked, looking angry.
“Each reward has it’s privileges.” Chris said. “You’ll just have to wait and see them.”
“Yes, because a stick will be so useful in a race throughout the desert!” Courtney yelled.
“Maybe we can use it to hit Heather over the head with when she gets annoying.” Gwen said. Courtney chuckled.
Duncan (CONF): Did Courtney just laugh at something GWEN said? Has the apocalypse come early?
“Hey!” Heather cried.
“Um, Chris? Why are there beetles crawling towards us?” Cody asked, as everyone turned around and saw a swarm of scarabs crawling towards them.
“Oh yeah, we kind of set them off in the pyramid. Oops.” Leshawna scratched her head as everyone glared at her, DJ, and Harold.
“Well, you know what they say, the only way to calm angry scarabs down is…” Chris began.
“Really?” Trent said.
“Yep, songs calm down beetles! A statistic not actually proven, but eh. You should probably sing something romantic, it’s their mating season.” Chris advised.
Alejandro: No need to get crazy, it’s loving time alas!
DJ, Trent, Justin, and Tyler: You don’t want to eat us up!
Owen: We’re mostly full of gas, woah!
Gwen, Heather, and Courtney: It’s mating time for scarabs!
Leshawna: So what you waitin on?
Izzy: Just ignore us humans…
All: And make out til the break of dawn!
Alejandro: It’s loving time! (Loving time, loving time)
Beth: Scarab mating season!
Cody: It’s lovin’ time! (Loving time, loving time)
Justin: Scarab mating season!
Harold: It’s loving time! (Loving time, loving time)
Trent: Scarab mating season!
Geoff: It’s loving time!
All: Scarab mating season!
Ezekiel: Seasonal, eh. Wait, no!
The scarabs stopped being calm and began to run towards the contestants, as everyone began screaming.
“Nice one, homeschool!” Duncan yelled.
Team Failure jumped on their camel. “Go!” DJ yelled, and it began to race off.
“How are we all supposed to fit on the goat, exactly?” Justin asked.
“Hmm...hold on, I have an idea.” Alejandro said.
Alejandro (CONF): It’s basic weight distribution. Anyone with a little brawn and an IQ over 120 could figure it out. Thankfully, I have both.
The camera flashed back to Team Chris, who were now perfectly stacked on top of each other.
“Wow, color me impressed.” Noah said, as the goat ran off with all members of the team stacked on top of it.
“What are WE supposed to do? We can’t ride on a stick!” Heather yelled.
“Oh my gosh Sadie, this reminds me of that time where we got lost in the woods and I got voted off!” Katie gasped.
“Oh my gosh that was sooooo sad!” Sadie frowned.
“Stop talking and move it!” Heather ordered, as Cody’s Angels ran away.
Later, they were walking in no real direction. “Does anyone know WHERE we’re going?” Heather asked.
“We should let Cody lead us! He’d be great!” Sierra swooned.
“How about no.” Heather said.
“It’s pretty obvious I should be leading. I’m the only one with C.I.T experience.” Courtney said.
Gwen (CONF): Hey guys, did you know that Courtney was a C.I.T? I had no idea! *glares at camera*
“OMG, I should lead! I’m great with stuff like this!” Katie said.
“Don’t listen to her, she’s totally lying. She’s TERRIBLE at things like this!” Sadie giggled. “You should let ME do it!”
“No I am not! Name one time!” Katie said.
“Um, that time you got us lost in the woods and you got voted off, for starters.” Sadie said.
Katie gasped. “That was your fault!” she yelled at Sadie.
“No!” Sadie cried.
“Um, yeah!” Katie replied.
“Guys, can we calm down?” Beth asked.
“SHUT UP BETH!” All seven members of the team yelled at once.
Beth (CONF): I was hoping I would be on a good team for once! I was stuck on the Gophers with Heather, the Grips lost all the time, and now I’m with Heather again! I can’t catch a break!
“Anyway, can I like, lead! I’ll be the best at it!” Sadie said.
“Please! Like we’re letting one of YOU, lead!” Heather scoffed.
“But I’m much better than Katie!” Sadie moaned. “She’s so irrelevant!”
“WHAT?” Katie yelled back.
“It’s true. I made it farther the first time we played. All people know you as is Sadie’s friend.” Sadie said. Katie gasped and began to snatch the stick out of Katie’s hand. The two wrestled over the object and it snapped in half.
“Oh, it was a divining rod! Those things lead you straight to water!” Cody said.
“Chris did say each reward had it’s advantages! Nice one Cody!” Gwen smiled.
“Does it work while broken?” Heather asked.
“That I don’t know.” Cody said, sheepishly.
“Let’s just find, like, a school supplies store and get some tape! Problem solved!” Sadie smiled.
“WHERE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND A SCHOOL SUPPLIES STORE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT?” Heather yelled.
“Um...the plan didn’t really get that far.” Sadie said. Heather facepalmed.
Courtney (CONF): I used to think Katie and Sadie shared a brain, but I’m starting to think there was no brain in the first place. How have they SURVIVED sixteen years?
“Can this camel go any faster? I’m hot!” Leshawna complained.
“We’re all hot. We’re in the middle of the desert.” Eva said, gruffly.
“I’m really hot.” Justin winked.
“Eh.” All seven members of Team Victory said at once.
Justin (CONF): I don’t understand! Beauty doesn’t just go away! It’s an everlasting thing, right! If i’m not beautiful then...what am I?
“I’m not hot, eh! We’ve got no air conditioning back on the farm, so in the summer, we just had to sweat it out, yo!” Ezekiel commented.
“Did anyone ask, homeschool?” Leshawna grumbled.
“Someone’s grumpy. Why don’t you get ALEJANDRO to console you!” Harold yelled.
“I do not like Alejandro! And even if I did, we’re not dating!” Leshawna yelled.
Leshawna (CONF): Harold is still convinced that we’re together. Boy needs to wake up, and smell the roses. I’m over Alejandro. I mean...Harold. I’m over HAROLD. That’s what I said, right?
“And then, my mom said, he’s not an eggplant, he’s retarded!” Ezekiel said, grinning. Everyone stared at him. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, you see..” DJ began.
“You’re not funny, you’re annoying. Shut up.” Eva said.
“What! I’m hilarious, yo!” Ezekiel said.
“Yeah...um….no…” Bridgette said awkwardly.
“Whatever! Y’all are just a bunch of haters! I’m just me and I’m real! And I’m gonna win the prize, with or without friends.” Ezekiel said.
“You need friends to not get voted out, stupid.” Leshawna rolled her eyes.
Ezekiel (CONF): My team is just a bunch of losers, yo! I know I can beat all of them, easy!
“Alejandro, man, how’d you figure this out?” Trent asked.
“I took advanced physics, which helped me figure out how to get us all riding comfortably.” Alejandro grinned.
Trent (CONF): Alejandro...dude’s awesome. He knows everything AND is super strong. He’s like our teams secret weapon.
“Yeah, Al, this is great!” Owen grinned.
“It’s awesome, Al!” Geoff grinned.
Alejandro (CONF): My name is ALEJANDRO. Not Al, as these gente incompetente refer to me by. Hmm, the ones who call me Al may just be my first victims. *grins*
Geoff sighed. “What’s wrong, bro?” Tyler asked.
“I miss Bridgette.” Geoff said.
“Yes, because it’s not like you’re on the same plane or anything.” Noah said.
“Just...her blonde hair, gettin’ to make out, everything.” Geoff frowned.
“Didn’t you guys literally make out an hour ago, back at the pyramid?” Noah asked.
“Man, I hear ya. I miss Lindsay too, even though I don’t think she knows who I am.” Tyler scratched his head.
“Wasn’t Bridgette why you lost last time? I know Gwen was why I lost. Maybe it’s a good thing you aren’t on the same team.” Trent said, comfortingly.
“Yeah...you’re right! Thanks man!” Geoff smiled.
Geoff (CONF): Trent is right! I love Bridge, but I gotta keep my head in the game! No more first boot for this dude!
Chris looked out in the distance on the other side of the Nile. “Well, I think I see the first team. It looks like…” The team became more visible. “...Cody’s Angels? Didn’t see that one coming.”
Cody’s Angels looked shocked. “How did you get us here?” Courtney asked.
“Well, I was looking for a school supplies store, and then…” Sadie said.
“What’s the next part of the challenge?” Gwen asked.
“Y’all have to weave a boat out of reeds!” Chris said.
“Who even knows how to do that?” Heather rolled her eyes.
“I do!” Sierra grinned. “Learned it in an Arts-and-Crafts class!”
Heather (Cockpit CONF): So super fan IS useful for something! I might have to keep her around for a bit
“Someone’s a bit controlling.” Chef muttered.
“Ugh! You’re just lucky I don’t want to do confessionals in the toilet!” Heather yelled.
“Okay, so, everyone collect the reeds, and Sierra can weave them!” Sadie grinned.
“Um, I thought I was the leader!” Heather said.
“It’s obvious I should be the leader!” Courtney said.
“If we’re voting for leader, I vote for Sadie!” Katie grinned. Both squealed together.
“I vote for Heather, my new BFF!” Sierra cheered.
“I guess I do too?” Cody shrugged
“I want Sadie as leader! She’s the nicest.” Beth smiled. Both Heather and Courtney scoffed.
“Can I abstain?” Gwen asked.
Gwen (CONF): My choices are a terrible person, a stupid person, and Courtney. I can’t believe I did this but…
“I guess I vote for Courtney.” Gwen shrugged.
“Well, we’re tied. What NOW?” Heather asked.
“Get overtaken by Team Chris?” Chris suggested, as the all-male and Izzy team arrived.
“Nice one, ladies.” Duncan chuckled.
“Get bent!” Heather yelled.
“Hey! That’s my BOYFRIEND you’re talking to!” Courtney said to Heather, who scoffed.
“What’s the challenge?” Duncan asked.
“Weave a boat out of reeds.” Chris called from the other side of the river.
“Who knows how to do that?” Duncan rolled his eyes.
“Oh, I do!” Trent grinned. “I took an Arts-and-Crafts class.”
Duncan began to laugh hysterically. “Okay, dork-zilla.”
Trent (CONF): It was good for college credit!
Team Failure rode up on their camel to the other teams. “Team Failure, nice job living up to your name. You’ve got to weave a boat out of reeds.” Chris announced.
“Ooooh! Leshawna has done a weave or two, I GOT this.” Leshawna said, running over to the reeds.
“I am leader!” Heather yelled.
“No, I am!” Courtney replied.
“It should be me!” Sadie cried.
“Um...I’m done.” Sierra said, as the team turned around and saw a finished boat. “I call it the S.S Cody.” Sierra said, dreamily.
Sierra (CONF): I could get involved in the power struggle, but it’s a pretty bad move. I’m only supporting Heather because we’re aligned. People think I’m just some Cody obsessed girl, and I soooooo am, but there’s a brain in here. *points to head*
“Finished!” Trent announced, grinning.
“Good job, compadre! Let us go!” Alejandro said, as Team Chris ran to the boat.
“I’m done, let’s go!” Leshawna announced as Team Failure ran to their boat.
“Oh, did I forget? You have to bring your items onto the boat with you!” Chris announced.
“WHAT?” Team Failure and Team Chris said. Cody took the broken stick out of his pocket and Cody’s Angels snickered.
“Don’t worry, I speak goat! Baa, baa, black sheep!” Izzy said. Noah facepalmed.
“Get back on the boat!” Alejandro said, carrying the goat in his arms.
“Come on camel!” Ezekiel yelled.
“You have to be patient with it. Come on, little girl. I think I’ll call you Callie.” DJ smiled, petting the camel as it walked into their boat. Chris threw a megaphone at it.
“What was that for?” DJ asked, shocked.
“A rampaging camel will get ratings up.” Chris winked as Callie began to stomp around on Team Failure’s boat.
“Come on, let’s go!” Bridgette called as everyone ran back to the boat.
“And just for good measure…” Chris said.
“REALLY?” Everyone minus Courtney said at once.
“This one’s a REPRISE. Since Zeke decided to ruin the first one.” Chris said, as everyone glared at the homeschooled boy.
Alejandro: Mm, mm. Crocodile amigos, what you swarming for?
Courtney: We don’t mean to hurt you!
Gwen: Please let us reach the shore!
Camel: *honks twice*
Lindsay: These crocs are getting kill-y!
Harold: Just bop on the nose! I learned it muskrat boys, it vanquishes all foes!
Ezekiel: *Cody’s Angels and Team Chris’ boats pass Team Failure’s* No!
Geoff: It’s rowin time!
Everyone: Vanquishing, vanquishing!
Trent: Crocodile season!
DJ: It’s rowin time!
Everyone: Crocodiles, crocodiles!
Justin: *crocodiles bite off part of Team Failure’s boat* Tell me we’re not sinking!
Cody: Yeah, it’s rowin time!
Everyone: Sinkin in, sinkin in!
Beth: Crocodile season!
Eva: It’s rowin time!
Everyone: Rowin time, rowin’ tiiiiime.
Sierra: Til Team Cody…
Cody’s Angels: wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins, yeah!
“Team Cody takes it!” Chris announced. Team Chris then raced up the dune to Chris. “Team Chris is Really, Really, Really, Really Lame,” Noah snickered. “is in second! Meaning Team Failure is going to elimination.” Team Failure got onto land.
“Should I tell him about the broken stick?” Katie asked, holding a half of the stick up.
“Hold on, you broke the divining rod? Wow. Guess Team Chris takes the win, and Team Failure takes second place!” Chris grinned.
“WHAT?” Heather shrieked. “That wasn’t even in the rules!”
“It’s kind of implied. Did they break their camel, or goat?” Chris asked.
“That’s unfair! You can’t even break a camel!” Heather said.
“Whatever. All I know is Cody’s Angels are going to elimination. Where one of you, is gone.” Chris grinned.
“So, you’re breaking up with me?” Bridgette asked.
“No, just saying we should keep our distance, so we can both stay in the game1’ Geoff said, holding Bridgette’s hand.
“‘Keep our distance’? What’s that supposed to mean!” Bridgette said.
“Uh…” Geoff muttered.
“Ugh!” Bridgette stormed off.
Geoff (CONF): That didn’t exactly go how I wanted it to…
“Alright, tonight, vote for either Katie or Sadie.” Heather ordered Cody and Sierra.
“Why?” Cody asked.
“Because they broke our only chance of winning!” Heather threw her arms in the air.
“I think Cody should decide!” Sierra grinned.
“Yeah! I’m the man on this team! I need to start getting some respect!” Cody said, flexing. “And maybe we’ll just vote for you!” Cody and Sierra walked away.
Cody’s Angels sat in elimination. “Welcome to the Barf Bag ceremony, losers! Inside, stamp the passport of the person you want eliminated. The person with the most votes takes the Drop of Shame.” Chris grinned.
Heather (CONF): There’s only room for one leader around here. *stamps Sadie’s passport*
Gwen (CONF): At least Sadie led us to the nile. *stamps Katie’s passport*
Katie: (CONF) Meanie! *stamps Heather’s passport*
“The votes are in.” Chris said. “And barf bags go to Gwen, Cody, Sierra, and Beth.” Chris threw barf bags to the four.
“Surprisingly Courtney.” Chris said.
“What do you mean surprisingly?” Courtney said, catching her barf bag.
“Our bottom three everyone!” Chris chuckled. “Katie, Sadie, you messed up the challenge. Heather, you’re just unpleasant. Sadie’s safe, and so is…
...Heather! Katie, you’re out” Chris said. Katie frowned.
“Out early again? This is so unfair!” Katie sobbed.
“OMG, no, Katie!” Sadie cried, hugging the thin girl.
“It’ll be okay. Win this for us. We’ll always be BFFFL’s!” Katie said, holding Sadie’s shoulders.
“I’ll miss you!” Sadie cried.
“I’ll miss you more!” Katie cried back.
“Okay, okay, we get it, you’re friends, go.” Chris said, handing Katie a parachute and opening the door.
“Bye!” Katie said, as she jumped out of the plane.
“And that’s one down, twenty three to go! Who will go home next? Find out, next time, on Total….Drama...Woooooorld Tour!” Chris signed off.
Chapter Three- Super Happy Crazy Fun Time In Japan
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our 3 teams continued their visit to the lovely land of Egypt! We had a not-so-amazing race through the desert, and had a croc of a trip across the Nile. Team Cody’s arguing, and Katie and Sadie’s stupidity lost them the challenge. In the end Team Cody ended up booting Katie, leaving Sadie without a BFF. Will Sadie jump out of the plane on her own? Will Team Cody end up throwing Heather out of the plane? And who won’t be over the moon in the land of the rising sun? Find out, right here, right now, on Total...Drama...World...Tour!”
Cody’s Angels and Team Failure sat in economy class, upset. Water leaked onto Gwen’s head.
“Ugh! Can we win the next challenge? This sucks!” Gwen complained.
“It’s not like we DECIDED to lose, Gwen.” Heather rolled her eyes.
“Attention passengers! We’ll be landing in our next location, in about 25 minutes. In flight breakfast will be served...to those in first class. For y’all in economy class, there are some rats back there.” Chris chuckled and turned off the PA.
“No food? We’re hungry!” Leshawna yelled.
“At least we’re landing soon. Where are we?” Gwen asked.
“Given the about 13 hour flight time, I’d say it’s likely our next location is a northeast asian country.” Harold informed.
“It was rhetorical.” Gwen answered.
“Well, excuuuuuuse me! GOSH!” Harold scoffed.
Harold (CONF): I’m underappreciated on this show. My mad skills could be used so much more then they are. I mean, who else here can speak Zulu? Not Alejandro, that’s for sure! What does Leshawna see in that guy?
Later, 22 of the 23 contestants stood in the common area, with Chris in front of them. Where’s Izabelle?” Lindsay asked.
“She kept annoying us in first class last night, and then this morning she was gone.” Duncan said.
“Huh, weird. Anyway, contestants--” Chris began.
“Abadlali, in Zulu.” Harold interjected.
“Okay, today we’ll be visiting the breathtaking land--”
“Izwe, in Zulu.” Harold interrupted.
“Isn’t Zulu that place where you can watch TV shows? I love that site!” Lindsay grinned.
“No, that’s Hu-” Leshawna tried to correct, until she was knocked down by Izzy, who ran barreling in.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Izzy screamed. She then opened the plane door and jumped out of it, also causing the remaining contestants and Chris to get sucked out of it.
“WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” Chris asked.
“I had to get away from the fire in the cargo hold! “ Izzy yelled.
“Why was there a fire in the cargo hold?” Chris asked.
“Don’t question it!” Izzy screamed. The plane flew down, and Chef grabbed Chris through the door.
“Alright, now that I’m safe. Let’s make this a bit more interesting!” Chris grinned
The contestants all groaned.
“I hate you so much.” Noah said.
“I know.” Chris smiled.
Courtney: We’re singing as we’re falling!
Heather: While some are cannonballing!
Alejandro: Our lives begin to flash before our eyes.
Owen and Noah: We might just go kablooey!
Harold and Tyler: Get smushed and become chewy.
All: But there’s still so much to do before we diiie!
Cody: Billards champion!
DJ: Make it home to see my momma!
Sierra: Marry Cody!
Bridgette: Catch a barrel!!
Lindsay: Be an actress in a drama!
Courtney: Corporate lawyer!
Gwen: Prom destroyer!
Harold: Be a ninja with throwing stars!
Alejandro: Lion tamer!
Owen: New food namer!
Tyler: Repairment for the paralell bars!
Noah: But first we must cease dropping.
Eva: Our goal here would be stopping.
Izzy: Before we smash into the ground from the sky!
Beth: Crushed into little pieces!
Sadie: Heads merged with our feetses!
Justin: That would really suck and here’s why!
Geoff: We’d like to keep on living!
Trent: So Chris, I hope you’re giving…
Sierra: Some wings!
Courtney: A jetpack!
Gwen: A rift in time!
Tyler: A trampoline!
Izzy: Springy shoes!
Alejandro: Rocket boots!
Lindsay: Flying squirrel!
Leshawna: Bubble bath!
Lindsay: I change to bubbles, too!
Owen: Pizza! No! Chips and some dip will do!
All: Cause there’s still so much to do before we die! Yeah, we said it! There’s still so much to do, there’s still so much to do, there’s still so much to do before we die, yeah!
The contestants all shrieked as they got closer and closer to the ground. Suddenly, a giant bowl of pudding came out of nowhere and the contestants landed in it.
“Um...why?” Bridgette said, lifting her arm as pudding dripped off of it.
“We’re in Japan! Randomness is the specialty!” Chris grinned.
“That’s deeply racist.” Heather muttered.
“Now wipe off that pudding and meet me in the game show arena in 10!” Chris walked off.
Later, the 23 contestants stood at the game show arena. “Welcome to your first challenge today, Super Human Pinball Smash! Sounds fun, right?” Chris asked.
“Sounds DANGEROUS.” Courtney said.
“Um, of course it’s going to be dangerous, do you even know Chris? Don’t be a noob.” Sierra snorted. Courtney awkwardly stared.
“In this challenge, one member from each team will have to be forced in a pinball with a dangerous animal. The goal is to stay in the pinball game without falling out for the longest. Winner gets an advantage in part 2, second gets a slightly smaller advantage, third gets jack. Now- pick your contestant!” Chris grinned.
“Courtney will do it!” Heather smiled and pushed Courtney in front of the whole team.
“What? Well, as the LEADER, I guess I have to take one for the te-” Courtney began.
“Since when are you the leader?” Sadie asked.
“Um, since FOREVER.” Courtney said, and glared at Sadie.
Courtney (CONF): The fact that people are doubting that I should be leader is ridiculous! I mean, would they really rather Heather? Or Sadie? I’m obviously the best candidate here.
“Ooh! Ooh! Can I go?” Lindsay asked. “I love pinball, I always get strikes!”
“Lindsay, that’s...bowling.” Eva said.
“No, I’m pretty sure it’s pinball.” Lindsay said.
Justin (CONF): How that girl made it to 16 is one of the great mysteries of our time.
As the two bickered, Geoff walked over to Bridgette. “Hey, Bridge.” Geoff smiled.
Bridgette scoffed. “I thought you weren’t talking to me!”
“Come on babe, I just don’t want us to get eliminated for being too close like last time! I still like you, I just need you to leave me alone and not associate with me.” Geoff smiled.
“Ugh!” Bridgette said, and turned her back on him.
“Bridgette!” Geoff cried.
“Hey! I’m hosting a challenge over here! If you would stop talking for two seconds.” Chris fake coughed. “Geoff and Bridgette.”
“They were just discussing how Geoff’s going to perform in this challenge, because he’s Team Chris’s volunteer!” Alejandro smiled, and pushed Geoff in front of the team.
Alejandro (CONF): If Geoff wins, the team gets an advantage. If Geoff loses, we know who we’re getting rid of tonight. It’s genius, really.
“Alright, it’s time to release the beasts!” Chris yelled dramatically. Everyone stood awkwardly.
“I SAID, it’s time to release the beasts!” Chris said, sounding more annoyed.
“Oh!” Chef ran into the plane and came out with a cage that he quickly unlocked.
“Alright, welcome...the panda bears!” Chris announced, as the pandas walked out of the cage.
“You do know pandas live in CHINA, right?” Heather asked.
“China, Japan, tomato, tomahto!” Chris said.
“You know they’re two completely different countries, right?” Noah asked.
“WhatEVER. You people are so specific about everything.” Chris rolled his eyes.”Anyway, each runner gets a panda.” Chris threw the pandas to Courtney, Lindsay, and Geoff.
“Aww, so cute!” DJ squealed, and grabbed a panda, who he cuddled with.
“Um, you’re not doing the challenge, Lindsay is.” Chris said, taking the panda out of DJ’s hands and throwing at Lindsay.
“Ow!” Lindsay cried.
“But...panda….” DJ pouted.
“Alright, can we start the challenge already?” Courtney asked.
“Fine, pushy.” Chris rolled his eyes. “Enter the pinballs!”
Courtney, Lindsay, and Geoff walked into the orbs. “Oh my god, I don’t think I can do this! I totally forgot I was homophobic!” Lindsay gasped.
“You mean...claustrophobic?” Leshawana asked.
“Oh, yeah that!” Lindsay said.
“I’ll do it!” DJ grinned.
DJ (CONF): Chris can’t stop me from loving animals. Me and that little panda were destined to be together!
DJ ran into the pinball. “I’m ready!”
“Did I ever approve you doing the challenge? No! Request DENIED. Um...Leshawna, you go.” Chris said.
“Me? Why?” Leshawna asked.
“Uh, because I said so?” Chris glared.
“But...panda…” DJ pouted again.
Chris (CONF): I just didn’t want DJ to get to ride with the panda because it would make him happy. And happy people do not make good TV.
“Ready? Go!” Chris banged a gong.
“OUT OF MY WAY!” Courtney shrieked, pushing Leshawna and Geoff out of the way.
“COURTNEY, BE CAREFUL! YOU MIGHT HURT A PANDA!” DJ screamed.
“Do I look like I care!” Courtney yelled back.
DJ (CONF): How can she not care about the well-being of something so cuddly! It’s evil!
“Go LESHAWNA.” Bridgette cheered, glaring at Geoff.
“Why isn’t she cheering for me….” Geoff muttered. “I mean, THANK GOD BRIDGETTE ISN’T SUPPORTING ME BECAUSE SHE’S ANNOYING AND SMELLS LIKE FISH!”
Bridgette (CONF): Okay, SO not cool.
“This panda is getting under my feet!” Leshawna yelled.
“Hold it like it’s a baby!” DJ advised.
“Dude, why do you know so much about pandas?” Justin questioned.
Geoff’s ball was about to hit a bumper, and get points. “Alright!” he cheered.
“Not on my watch!” Courtney yelled and shoved Geoff out of the way, getting the points for herself.
“Time’s up!” Chris yelled, and all three balls ejected.
“Courtney, your incredibly agressive personality was finally good for something! You win it for Cody. Leshawna gets second place for Failure, and Chris loses it thanks to Geoff.” Chris said.
“YES!” Courtney cheered.
“Aww….” Geoff frowned.
“It’s okay, dude. You tried your best.” Trent patted Geoff on the back.
“Um, where are MY congratulations? I actually won!” Courtney cried.
“Courtney, we win and lose as a team. Don’t be so selfish.” Heather smiled as Courtney growled.
Courtney (CONF): HEATHER lecturing me about selfish? What a joke! If we lose today, there’s one person going home, and it ain’t me!
“Alright teams, ready for part 2 of today’s challenge?” Chris asked.
“Not particularly.” Noah replied.
“Remember when you were an irrelevant third boot? I miss those days. Anyway, if there’s one popular thing in Japan besides video games and rice--” Chris began.
“Okay, even I thought that one was messed up.” Eva said.
“As I was SAYING, third in popularity here is weird commercials! They are all over the place in this country, and it will be your job for your next challenge to CREATE one!” Chris announced.
“How exactly do you make a commercial with nothing to advertise?” Gwen asked.
“Um, of COURSE you have something to advertise. Duh. It’s Chef’s new food, Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go-Time Candy Fish Tails!” Chris announced.
“Sounds delicious!” Alejandro smiled.
Alejandro (CONF): (takes a bite) Delicious….*vomits*
“Who wants to eat candy fish tails?” Trent asked.
“Who wants to eat anything made by Chris?” Noah retorted.
“Me!” Owen cheered and ate a whole bag.
“See! OWEN likes them!” Chris scoffed.
“I’m not sure that’s the most glowing endorsement of a product.” Gwen muttered.
“ANYWAY, Team Cody gets first crack at the prop room, so….have fun with that.” Chris said. “Go, or whatever.” Gwen picked up two hockey masks. “Awesome. We should do a horror themed commercial!” Gwen suggested.
“Of course, YOU want to. Weird goth girl.” Heather scoffed.
“What’s YOUR idea then, Heather!” Gwen glared.
“True genius takes TIME! You can’t RUSH IT, Gwen.” Heather said, and sat down.
“Um, we have to be dazzling and epic, just like Tokyo! Sparkling lights, vibrant colors!” Courtney picked up two firecrackers.
“OMG, I totally agree! You should let me direct. Graphic design is my passion!” Sierra squealed.
“I thought Cody was your passion?” Beth asked.
“He’s not my passion.” Sierra said. Cody fistpumped.
Sierra leaned in close to his ear. “He’s my LOVE.”
Cody (CONF): Having a girl obsessed with you looks a lot more fun than it is.
Team Failure walked into the prop room.
“ALRIGHT! I know everything about Japan! I can WIN this for us!” Harold cheered.
“Um, as a model, I’m pretty sure I have more commercial experience than you, Harold.” Justin said.
“That’s true. Justin should direct.” Bridgette said.
“Yay Justin!” Lindsay cheered and clapped.
Harold (CONF): Why do the HOT GUYS always get the positions of power!
Team Chris walked into the prop room.
“Well, this is an interesting selection.” Alejandro said.
“Interesting, meaning sucky?” Noah said.
“Ooh, I have an idea! You guys should like, give me like, all of the bags of fish tails, and then I eat them all, and then I’ll be like, it’s so good!” Owen grinned.
“I’m gonna veto that idea for many different reasons.” Duncan said.
“Japan is really big on like, godzilla stuff. What if we did a monster movie thing?” Trent suggested.
“Excellent idea, my friend!” Alejandro grinned.
“And Big O can be the monster!” Izzy jumped on his back.
“Okay, what if instead of people, the monster ate all the bags of candy fish tails because the monster is really hungry.” Owen chuckled. The rest of his team glared at him.
Team Cody sat in the recording studio.
“Alright! Everyone grab a firecracker!” Courtney said.
“I don’t get this commercial! Why is it just explosions. I would so not shop here after seeing this.” Sadie shook her head.
“Maybe because it ISN’T FOR A SHOPPING MALL, Sadie.” Courtney rolled her eyes.
Sadie(CONF): I used to feel bad that I hit Courtney in the head with an apple. Now, I want to do it again!
Courtney (CONF): Last time when Katie left, Sadie kept quiet. I miss THAT Sadie, because this one is annoying!
“Where is the bag of fish tails?” Courtney asked.
“I’ve got it!” Beth said, and ran over to Courtney but tripped and spilled them all “....oops.”
“UGH!” Courtney cried.
Courtney (CONF): I thought, hey maybe I’ll get a COMPETENT team this time. Nope!
Beth (CONF): Courtney getting mad is scary, but it’s also kinda funny. Her face gets all red and puffs up…I hope I don’t get voted off for saying that.
“We’re filming in five! Get ready!” Courtney yelled.
“Okay, who died and made HER queen?” Heather said to Cody and Sierra.
“I know right? Like, I would obviously be a better director. My website gets 10,000 hits daily!” Sierra said.
“I say, we form an alliance and take her down.” Heather smiled.
“OMG, I am sooooooo in!” Sierra grinned.
“Great. Let’s do it.” Heather smiled.
Cody (CONF): Making a deal with Heather and Sierra is kind of like making a deal with the devil. And a deal with the purple haired total drama obsessed psycho who won’t leave you alone.
Team Failure was in their recording process. Justin sat on a lawn chair in his boxers with Leshawna, Bridgette, Lindsay, and DJ all in their underwear fanning him.
“Why is this our video! Where’s the culture? The respect? Japan isn’t about shirtless guys in their underwear!” Harold cried
“Hey, look. Hotness is universal. Which means I’m hot worldwide.” Justin said.
“I mean, you’re only like a 7/10.” Leshawna said.
“On a good day.” Lindsay added.
Justin (CONF): Seven out of 10. Seven out of 10? I’m a male model! I’m a ten out of ten.Hell, I’m an eleven out of 10! You have to invent a whole new ranking scale for me, that’s how hot I am!
“And why am I not in the commercial?” Eva asked.
“Yeah, dawg! Or me?” Ezekiel asked.
“Well, I suppose there’s a market for bodybuilding girls...Eva, come join us. Hard pass on Ezekiel and Harold, though.” Justin said.
Harold (CONF): First Alejandro, now Justin...why can’t I ever beat the hot guys for something! GOSH!
Owen sat in his monster costume while Team Chris edited.
“Is it done? Do we have to film another take? Please say no!” Owen pleaded.
“I think we’re good.” Trent said. The team sans Geoff cheered and Owen began throwing off parts of the monster costume.
Alejandro took Geoff aside. “I’ve noticed you seem quite upset over Bridgette.”
“Yeah, dude….I really like her, but it’s a game, and I can’t let her distract me.” Geoff sighed.
“That seems logical to me. Just tell her that and you’ll be fine.” Alejandro smiled and patted Geoff on the back.
Alejandro (CONF): Cause a rift between Geoff and Bridgette...check. It’s almost too easy.
Duncan brought out a bag of fish tails and a bottle of soda. “For making it through the day, buddy. This one’s for you.” The rest of the team walked away as Owen licked his lips.
“Mmm....” he said.
Later, all three teams stood in front of a large TV screen. “It’s time to judge the commercials! Team Cody, you’re first.”
Courtney put the video in. Heather appeared on screen talking to Gwen. “Have you ever had a Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go-Time Candy Fish Tail?” she said, woodenly. “Try one!” she handed Gwen one. Gwen took a bite.
“It’s an EXPLOSION in my mouth!” Gwen yelled, as Courtney, Cody, Sierra, Beth, and Sadie appeared on screen with firecrackers, dancing.
“O….kay. That was...a commercial.” Chris said. “Team Failure?”
“I apologize. I had no input, and thus are commercial has not really honored Ja-” Harold began.
“Just put in the video!” Leshawna yelled.
“Fine!” Harold shoved the video in and Justin appeared in his underwear with DJ, Leshawna, Eva, Lindsay, and Bridgette fanning.
“I’m hot.” Justin said. “You know what else is hot? The hottest new snacks on the market, Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go-Time Candy Fish Tails.” Justin ate one seductively. “Get em before it’s too late.”
“Wow, nice abs dude.” Chris said.
“Tha--” Justin began.
“DJ, you must really be working out huh?” Geoff asked.
“Looking good, my man!” Duncan said.
Justin (CONF): *screams*
“Alright, let’s see how Team Chris did.” Chris said.
Owen appeared on screen.
“Where’s the monster costume?” Alejandro asked. He drank a whole bottle of soda, and then began to burp. “A-B-C-D-E-F-G…”
“Dios mio!” Alejandro cried.
“Owen! You idiot!” Duncan yelled.
“I didn’t know it would record over it!” Owen said. “I thought it would be funny!”
“Well, this choice is obvious. Team Failure scores first class seats for their hot commercial, Team Cody’s gets them second, and Team Chris is heading to elimination. Where one of you is going to say bye bye. I can’t wait.” Chris grinned.
Geoff walked up to Bridgette. “Babe. I know I’ve been acting weird, but over the past few days this feeling has been building up. I know I need to say something to you.” Geoff said.
“Aw, Geoff! I for-” Bridgette began.
“If we want to make it far, you need to stop being so clingy! The guys on my team are getting suspicious. I’m just saying!” Geoff said.
“Ugh!” Bridgette stomped out.
Bridgette stomped past Alejandro. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Geoff. It’s like he doesn’t even want to be my boyfriend!” Bridgette said, sitting down next to Alejandro.
“Ah, I see. I hope you know that you can come to me whenever, through this tough time in your relationship.” Alejandro said.
“Thanks.” Bridgette smiled.
Alejandro (CONF): Like I said, too easy.
“Dude, Owen’s got to GO. Plain and simple.” Duncan said to Geoff, Trent, Alejandro and Tyler.
“Since when are we friends?” Trent asked.
“We’re not, but I need your vote.” Duncan said.
“Fair enough.” Trent said.
“I agree. Owen is simply…dead weight on the tribe. And dead weight must be eliminated at the first opportunity.” Alejandro smiled.
“Alright, the team is completely against you, for good reason.” Noah said. “Our only chance is to try and get everyone to vote Geoff.”
“Geoff HAS been acting weird…” Owen said.
“We should blow up Alejandro!” Izzy grinned.
“Ignoring the crazy…she has a point. Alejandro is dangerous. And everyone likes him less than Geoff...” Noah smiled evilly.
“Team Chris, your loss today was most certainly one person’s fault. It’s time to vote!” Chris announced.
Noah (CONF): I hope this works. *stamps someone’s passport*
Alejandro (CONF): Goodbye. *stamps Owen’s passport*
“Barfbags tonight go to Izzy, Noah, Duncan, Tyler, and Trent.” Chris threw barfbags to all five.
“Geoff, you’re safe.” Chris threw a barfbag to him.
“Alright!” Geoff cheered.
“Alejandro, Owen. One of you is going home. And the person taking the drop of shame is……..
...Owen, to the surprise of no one!” Chris threw Alejandro his barfbag.
“Awww….” Owen frowned.
“Big O, I’ll miss you” Izzy jumped on his back.
“Sorry, bro.” Trent said.
“It’s okay. Bye guys!” Owen attempted to jump out of the plane, but didn’t fit. He then went sideways, and squeezed through to drop.
“Welp, another one down, 21 more to go. Who will be gone next? Find out next time, on Total...Drama...World Tour!” Chris signed off
Chapter Four- Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our 3 teams visited asian sensation, Japan! While everyone wanted to give Harold and his obnoxious knowledge a karate chop, Geoff and Bridgette’s relationship was what really ended up being karate chopped! Ouch! DJ tried to liberate pandas, Justin tried desperately to still be thought of as attractive, and Owen didn’t even have to try to annoy his whole team and get himself the boot! See ya, big O! 22 are left. And today, the interactions are gonna get ICY. Who will race to first place? Find out, right here, right now on Total...Drama...World Tour!”
Team Chris and Team Cody sat in economy class.
“I feel that with Owen gone, this is truly a team of champions.” Alejandro smiled. “No weak links left.”
“Definitely! As a team of dudes--” Tyler began, Izzy was gnawing at his seat. “...and Izzy, we’re not gonna lose to a bunch of chicks! Or Ezekiel’s team!”
“Exactly! I just think that if we are confident and do not betray each other, we could go far in this game. Don’t you agree, Noah?” Alejandro asked.
Noah (CONF): Snakejandro knows I voted for him last episode. The guy’s impressive, sure, but I don’t trust him at all. He’s slimy.
Trent was staring at Team Cody, him and Gwen locked eyes for a split second, and both immediately turned away.
Trent (CONF): Gwen being here is….weird, you know. I still care about her a lot, but I don’t think either of us wants to talk to each other. There was a lot of drama and….she hurt me, she really did. It just sucks.
Team Failure sat in first class, getting facials. Harold sighed. “I wish I could enjoy this…” he said.
“And why can’t you, exactly?” Justin asked.
“Because we didn’t earn it! We blatantly misrepresented Japan, and only got through because Chris likes hot girls and DJ!” Harold yelled.
“Are you insinuating that I was not part of that commercial’s success? I am obviously the hottest one here!” Justin retorted.
“Not really. Your chin is way too big, for one.” Harold said.
Justin (CONF): *crying* And now I’ll need another injection of botox because the tears will bring out my wrinkles! *crying*
The loudspeaker turned on. “We will be landing in the Yukon shortly, but we’re experiencing a biiiiiiiiit of turbulence. Nothing to freak out about, don’t worry.” Chris said as the plane violently shook.
“Oh, my grandma always said the best solution to turbulence was to jump and up and down so it would cancel out the turbulence!” Izzy began bounding from the walls, causing the plane to become much less steady.
Izzy (CONF) My grandma was so smart! I remember my mom saying she was like, delightful. Or maybe she said demented?
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Courtney screamed as Izzy jumped on her face.
Izzy: We visited her in a hospital a few times- maybe she has dementia…
“AAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Alejandro and Geoff shrieked, as Izzy had created a hole in the plane and they were the ones plugging it with their bodies.
Izzy: She was really good at gardening, so maybe my mom was calling her Demeter! I don’t know. I think I was dissecting my pet guinea pig that day and not paying much attention.
“BIT OF AN ICY LANDING HERE, FOLKS!” Chris yelled over the loudspeaker as the plane spun out of control, leading the contestants in loser class to spin around and around. It finally skid to a stop.
“I think that was fun, don’t you guys?” Chris said over the loudspeaker. “Alright, time for your next challenge!”
The 22 remaining contestants stood out in the cold, icy terrain the plane had landed in. “It’s f-f-reezing!” Bridgette complained.
“Don’t worry, muchacha. I can keep you warm.” Alejandro winked.
“H-h-hey I can keep you warm too, eh! I have l-l-like, a hoodie and stuff!” Ezekiel shouted.
Ezekiel (Cockpit CONF): I’ve always had a crush on Bridgette. She’s just...beautiful, ya know? And with us being on the same team and all, it’s time for me to make my move!
Chef laughed uncontrollably. “Oh, were you serious?” he questioned as Ezekiel looked down in shame.
Geoff seethed at Bridgette and Alejandro. “Hey Courtney, are you cold. I can warm you up!” He said and grabbed her in a bear hug.
“You smell like a 2.5 GPA! AND I have a boyfriend! Let go of me!” Courtney cried, escaping the hug.
Geoff (CONF); I just can’t win, man!
“Oh my gosh, I LOVE the cold!” Sadie squealed. “I remember the time me and Katie’s moms wouldn’t let us have a sleepover, so we slept over outside in the middle of winter for like, a week! It was soooo fun. I only remember the first day though, after that we had to go get hippothermia shots! Whatever those are.” she giggled.
“O...kay.” Chris slightly inched away. “Anyway, welcome to the Yukon!”
“Isn’t this a world tour? The Yukon’s still in Canada.” Gwen rolled her eyes.
“Canada is a part of the WORLD, Gwen.” Heather scoffed. “SO culturally insensitive.” Gwen glared at her.
“Well, today’s challenge is called Total Drama Ice Age!” Chris announced. “For the first part of today’s challenge, you’ll have to hop from icy platform to icy platform across the watery straight, all the way to the sleds!” Chef wheeled out 3 sleds.
“Wow, that sled looks fake but it’s real!” Beth admired.
“I made it. Next, one of your team members will have to be the dog to your sled and have to pull it all the way to the finish line! The first two teams to get to the finish line with ALL of their team members win immunity. As for the last team, you’ve got a date with me at elimination tonight...and one of you is going for a fly!” Chris explained. The contestants looked at each other nervously.
“Alright, ready….go!” Chris announced.
“Alright, Team Cody. We need ALL members at the finish line, so the smartest plan is to stick together and--” Courtney was interrupted by her other 6 team members running past her right onto the course.
Courtney (Cockpit CONF): UGH! I try and give these slackers good advice and they all ignore me! Don’t they know I’m the ONLY person here--
“With CIT experience. Even I know that now. You really need to get a new thing, girl.” Chef grumbled.
“A beautiful woman such as yourself shouldn’t have to jump through ice. Here, let me.” Alejandro picked up Bridgette and began jumping across the icy platforms with her.
“Oh, that’s so..polite.” Bridgette blushed.
Bridgette (CONF): What? It was a strictly platonic jump across the ice! There’s absolutely nothing to feel guilty about! ...don’t give me that look, you’re a camera!
“Hey, Bridgette! Wait up, eh!” Ezekiel called out.
Ezekiel (CONF): Bridgette’s all into Alejandro cause he’s manly, but I’m manly too, eh! How many rats has Alejandro eaten?
Izzy flipped from ice platform to ice platform. “This is fun!” she called.
Izzy (CONF): All of the other challenges are boring stuff like “make a commercial”’ and “trek across the long grueling egyptian desert with a goat”, but jumping across things, barreling down anyone in my way? THAT’S why I play Total Drama!
Izzy continued bounding platforms, while Ezekiel called out to Bridgette. “BRIDGETTE! WE SHOULD STICK TOGETHER AS TEAM FAILURE, EH!”
“Yeah, we will! Just...give me a second.” Bridgette assured as she looked in Alejandro’s eyes and smiled.
“OKAY! I’l just...wait.” Ezekiel said sadly, as Izzy bounded into his black, sending him flying all the way to the sleds.
“You’re welcome!” she called.
“Looks like Zeke will be the sled dog for his team!” Chris grinned.
“Oh...great.” he grimaced.
“EXTREME!” Tyler yelled as he began jumping from platform to platform. “This is my chall--OH NO!” He screamed as he slipped and crashed into Lindsay.
“Ouch!” Lindsay exclaimed, and then began to look at the face that just knocked her down. “Hey, you look familiar…” she said.
“Yeah! It’s me, Tyler!” Tyler grinned looking towards Lindsay hopefully.
“Oh yeah, you’re one of my tennis coaches right? So weird seeing you here! Bye!” Lindsay said, jumping to the next platform.
Tyler (CONF): I think the game is going pretty good for me! I mean, the girl I love doesn’t know who I am and I’ve sustained multiple threatening injuries, but...other than that it’s been good!
Tyler fell onto the sled “Ugh…” he groaned.
“Looks like Tyler gets to be the Team Chris dog.” Chris snickered. “Poetic, in a way.”
Izzy jumped on the sled. “Shotgun!” she said. “Let’s go Tyler! We’re gonna leave the other teams in our dust!”
“Shouldn’t we wait for everyone els--” Tyler began.
“Ooh, what do these things do?” Izzy questioned, grabbing the reins, and then striking Tyler with them. “Haha, this is fun! Let’s go!” she ordered, as Tyler began running.
Cody slid on the ice. “Sierra, a little help here?” he called, trying not flop into the water.
“I’M COMING, CODYKINS!” Sierra screeched while bounding an inhuman length to catch him. “You shouldn’t be dealing with these platforms. Here you go!” she said, as she picked him up and threw him to the sled.
“Th-thanks…” Cody muttered.
Cody (CONF): At least my stalker helps me in challenges!
“Cody, you get to be the dog of your team!” Chris announced.
“What? Me? But...I’m weak! I can’t pull a whole team!” Cody cried.
“Dude, you’re on a team full of girls. If you can’t pull all of them, that’s on you.” Chris shrugged.
Alejandro, carrying Bridgette jumps to the end platform. “Alright, I really should go.” Bridgette said, getting out of his arms.
“Why? Just come with Team Chris. This could be the start of a great alliance between two teams.” Alejandro smiled.
“Well..I guess that’s true…” Bridgette hesitated
Bridgette (Cockpit CONF): Okay, maybe it was a moment of weakness...or maybe it was a great strategic move!
“It was a moment of weakness.” Chef commented. Bridgette sighed.
Alejandro (CONF): I thought it would be harder to break up Bridgette and Geoff, but it doesn’t seem so whatsoever. They were the couple that posed the biggest threat to me- both are nice and likable, and would waltz to the end without any divine intervention. Thankfully, I’m here. *winks* The only thing I’m scared about is Geoff. He’s hard to read- his mind is an enigma.
Geoff sat in the sled with Trent. “All I’m saying is, beer pong should TOTALLY be an olympic sport!”
“Bridgette, you ready to go, yo?” Ezekiel asked.
“Actually, I’m gonna go with Alejandro. I’ll meet up with you guys later.” Bridgette smiled, and walked off with Alejandro.
“But---I---what?” Ezekiel questioned.
Ezekiel (CONF): She’s abandoning her team now? What the foshizzle?
“Ha, is this the best you’ve got Chris?” Duncan asked, jumping from platform to platform with little effort. “I’ve had detentions harder than this!”
‘Fire in the hole!” Chris yelled as he loaded a gigantic chunk of ice into a cannon and shot it at Duncan, smashing him in the back.
“And this piece of ice reminds me of the time me and Katie drank that drink….and THIS piece of ice reminds me of--” Sadie began, but Duncan flew straight into her, sending them both to the end.
“Duncan, your team is already gone.” Chris said. “As for Sadie, you and Cody may now depart”
“Thanks for the help.” he grumbled and began running to find them.
“OMG this is going to be so fun!” Sadie squealed. “We can talk about boys, and shopping, and--” Sadie continued.
Cody (CONF): This is gonna be a loooooong trip.
Eva ran across the ice, stonefaced. “She’s not even jumping!” Sierra cried, as she reached the ending platform. “OMG, I HAVE to go find Codykins!” she giggled.
Eva reached the ending platform as well. “HURRY UP!” she screamed at DJ, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, and Justin, all of whom were clutching to one wayward piece of ice and hoping for the best. She looked at Ezekiel. “Move it or lose it, homeschool! There is a CHALLENGE happening currently, you know!”
Eva (CONF): I’m not trying to say my team sucks...but...okay, yes I am trying to say my team sucks.
Gwen faceplanted on the ending platform. “Ugh!” she cried.
Gwen (CONF): Remember back when the challenges were “put on a talent show”, “stay awake”, not “risk getting pnuemonia for a million dollars”?
She began stomping off to find her team while Lindsay landed on the ending platform. “Where’d my team go?” she questioned. “Oh well, Ii guess I’ll go to them!” Lindsay grinned, while walking in the complete opposite direction than everyone else went.
On the Team Chris sled, many things were happening at once. “I spy with my little eye…..something red!” Izzy called
“There’s nothing red here?” Duncan said before Izzy punched him in the face.
“I spied pain!” Izzy grinned.
“HOW IS THAT RED?” Duncan cried from the floor of the sled.
“Your arms are so...strong.” Bridgette blushed.
“Great for carrying a lovely lady...such as yourself.” Alejandro purred.
“Hey, loser jock, let’s get a move on.” Duncan said, whipping Tyler.
Tyler (CONF): You know what? I’ve had to deal with seeing Alejandro and Bridgette flirt their butts off, and it makes me so angry! The thought of Lindsay going with someone else makes my blood boil! Although that might be the head wound…
Tyler stopped the sled and turned around. “What are you DOING?” Duncan questioned.
“I’M FINDING LINDSAY!” Tyler heroically stated and began running in the opposite direction.
The Team Cody sled was somehow even less fun. “And so then she was like OMG, and I was like OMG!” Sadie babbled.
“Cody, can we--” Gwen began.
“SHHHHHHHHHH!” Sierra shushed right into Gwen’s face. “He’s concentrating.
Gwen (CONF): You know, I thought without Heather and Courtney my team would be tolerable...nope! Still awful!
Sierra (CONF): I totally see Gwen’s game. She’s ALWAYS talking to Cody- that hussy wants my man! But my Codykins is ALL mine! She can go back to TRENT if she wants. *sticks out tounge*
Leshawna walked to the Team Failure sled and fell down “Ooh lord, I am TIRED” she groaned.
“Where is the rest of our team?” Eva questioned angrily.
“DJ found a seal and is tending to it, Harold and Justin are arguing Bridgette’s still chatting up Alejandro, and I have no clue where Lindsay is.” Leshawna sighed.
Eva grabbed a piece of the ice and bit into it. Ezekiel and Leshawna stared at her. “It’s stress relief.” Eva growled.
Alejandro and Bridgette jumped off the Team Chris sled. “We wish you luck in your quest to find Lindsay, but we have some...business to attend to.” Alejandro said, stepping off with Bridgette.
“Why did we get off?” Bridgette asked
“Because, I wanted to talk to you.” Alejandro cooed, while leaning his hand on a pole “You are such a beautiful woman, and your beauty is not being appreciated over there.”
“I, well, um, ya know, the thing is--” Bridgette stammered. Alejandro went in for a kiss and Bridgette did too, until Team Chris jetted back.
“ALEJANDRO, WE GOTTA GO, MAN!” Tyler said, grabbing the latin boy and throwing him in the sled. Bridgette’s lips missed Alejandro, but lined up perfectly with the pole he was leaning on.
“Awh crahp.” She sighed.
Cody crawled while pulling Team Amazon. Heather and Courtney jumped on the sled. “Ugh, where WERE you guys. This crop top was not made for the Yukon!” Heather complained.
“I think my hair is frozen solid!” Courtney complained.
“Gahys? Ah liytle hahlp hehre?” Bridgette asked.
“Reaylly?” Bridgette complained.
“I think I’ll let Failure and Chris off the hook and make this a Bridgette and Team Cody special!” Chris laughed
Bridgette: The strings of my heart are a tangled mess!
Team Cody: Ooh, mess.
Bridgette: It’s beating so hard it’s come out of my chest!
Team Cody: Ooh, chest.
Bridgette: I tried to fit two men in my soul!
Team Cody: Ooh, soul.
Bridgette: I ended up...STUCK TO A POLE!
Team Cody: She got stuck, should have ducked, worst of luck! Stuck! Stuck to a po-o-o-ole!
Bridgette: I fell for every little thing that he said!
Team Cody: Ooh, said!
Bridgette: Then when we went in he got pulled on a sled!
Team Cody: Ooh, sled!
Bridgette: He’s moved on, I’m still stuck in this place!
Team Cody: Ooh, place!
Bridgette: WILL SOMEBODY POUR WARM WATER ON MY FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE?
Team Cody: She got stuck, should have ducked, worst of luck, stuck, stuck to a po-o-ole. Stuck, stuck to a pole!
“So wehll you gahys help?” Bridgette asked.
Gwen and Courtney immediately stood up to go help her but Heather hit cody with the reins.
“Sorry, but this is a GAME. Mush!” Heather yelled.
“Sorry…” Cody whimpered as he crawled along with his team.
“LINDSAY? LINDSAY? LINDSA-AAAAAAAAAH!” Tyler was still calling for his forgotten flame when team chris’s sled veered right off a cliff.
Tyler (CONF): So maybe this wasn’t the absolute BEST choice I’ve ever made…
Tyler held onto the edge of the cliff and the rest of the team hung onto him and each other. “Quick question, how are we ALIVE?” Noah asked
“My super strong fingers.” Tyler boasted. “Always won at thumb wrestling! And scarred a few of the girls at school...I didn’t mean for it to go there so forcefully.”
“This is fun! Whee!” Izzy began bouncing up and down, causing Tyler to lose his grip slowly.
“No!” Tyler screamed as he barely held onto the cliff. Lindsay was strolling casually and saw them hanging.
“Tyler? Is that you! Oh no! Tyler!” Lindsay yelled.
“You know who I am?” Tyler gasped dramatically.
“Yeah! You’re Tyler! We hooked up on the first season. You were eliminated in the episode Phobia Factor and recieved 19th place!” Lindsay grinned.
“How do you know that?” Tyler asked.
“You’re on Nikipedia.” Lindsay cheerfully showed her phone to the camera.
“She remembers me….she...remembers...ME!” Tyler screamed, as he launched himself and hsi team upwards, and right back into their sled.
“That’s...not exactly how gravity works, but I’ll take it!” Trent grinned.
Cody crawled to the finish line and fainted. “Cody’s Angels take first place and first class!”
“YES!” Heather cheered as the whole group celebrated hugging.
“Need...water…” Cody mumbled.
“Don’t worry honey, I’ve got water for you right here…” Sierra brought him up to her mouth, drooling.
“ACTUALLY I THINK I’M FULLY HYDRATED GONNA GO BACK ON THE PLANE NOW, THANKS!” Cody said and ran away.
“Failure and Chris better get a move on cause Team Cody is finished!” Chris boomed with his megaphone.
“Cody’s already done? We gotta go!” Tyler announced. He grabbed Lindsay in his arms. “Let’s go, babe!”
Ezekiel was close to the finish with Team Failure, but it was still just Eva and Leshawna. “Where IS everyone!” Eva grumbled. Suddenly, DJ, Harold, and Justin came running to the sled.
“Where WERE YOU?” Eva yelled.
“I was taking care of my new best friend, Sealy the seal!” DJ smiled and cradled the seal. “And they’ve been fighting since the challenge “ he said, gesturing to Harold and Justin.
“You’re just mad that I’m beautiful!” Justin scoffed.
“You’re only beautiful by western standards of beauty! By eastern european standards of 1398, I’m a total stud!” Harold scoffed.
“Stop fighting, you idiots. We need to WIN!” Eva bellowed, so loud it shook the icebergs.
Eva (CONF): Sometimes I may get a liiiiile bit too intense.
Ezekiel ran the rest of Failure to the finish line. “We won eh!” Ezekiel cheered.
“Nope. I said you need ALL of your members. And you’re missing…” Chris began.
“BRIDGETTE!” All six members yelled at once.
“AHM HEYRE!” Bridgette said, carrying the pole.
“What happened to you, girl!” Leshawna asked.
“Lohng stohry shurt, I triyed to kiss alehandrow end ended up wif dis pol.” Bridgette said, sadly.
Leshawna (CONF): I’m gonna pretend I understood that.
“So we win now, right!” DJ cheered.
‘“Nope, you’re still missing…” Chris began.
“LINDSAY!” The team yelled.
“Can you let me finish my statement next time?” Chris asked angrily. “Geez.”
Team Chris came barreling down the ice to the finish line. “Extreme!” Tyler slid across the ice past the finish line, with Lindsay behind them.
“Team Chris gets ‘you-weren’t-the-WORST-I-guess’ place!” Chris cheered.
“Good job, Tyler!” Trent cheered as he hugged him.
Tyler (CONF): Man, today was awesome! I went from a Total Drama Nobody to winning it for my team, AND reuniting with my girl! Everything is going Tyler’s way!
The confession cam collapsed on Tyler.
“Wait, Bridge, what happened with the pole?” Geoff asked.
“Weyll, ah-” Bridgette began
“Bridgette tried to swap spit with Alejandro and he had to go, meaning she got stuck.” Heather sneered.
Heather (CONF): I don’t actually have anything against Bridgette. I just wanted Alejandro to know that I SEE his game. Also, the fact that there was drama that I wasn’t involved in hurt me deeply.
“WHAT? I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU COULD DO THIS TO A HUMAN BEING!” Geoff yelled, turning around to Alejandro.
“Al, bro. I can’t believe she did this to you..” Geoff hugged him.
“Yes, I tried to stop her but she seduced me!” Alejandro began crying.
“We’re done!” Geoff said to Bridgette.
Bridgette (CONF): *sighs8
“Team Failure, failure to cross the finish leads to elimination tonight, where one of your butts is getting iced. PERMANENTLY.” Chris laughed as the team glared at Lindsay and Bridgette.
DJ, Ezekiel, Harold, Leshawna, Eva, and Justin sat discussing the boot.
“It HAS to be Bridgette tonight. Kissing another man is low.” Justin said, as Harold nodded.
“Stop slutshaming her. I don’t care who she swaps spit with, as long as it doesn’t lose us the challenge, like Lindsay swapping spit with Tyler did!” Eva complained
“I kinda want Bridgette to stay, eh.” Ezekiel admitted to strange looks.
Ezekiel (CONF): I mean, now we know she kisses guy she’s not dating, AND she’s single now! Talk about a score!
Team Failure sat at elimination. “Wow. To be frank, your guys’ performance was pretty pathetic. So it’s time for one of you to fall off a plane.” Chris grinned
Bridgette (CONF): *stamps reluctantly*
Lindsay (CONF): *stamps face*
Eva (CONF): *stamps angrily*
DJ (CONF): *lets the seal go from inside his shirt* It’s okay, little buddy. You’re fine here. You won’t be--
Chris ran into the confessional and threw the seal out of the plane.
DJ (CONF): WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?
“Alright, the votes are in.” Chris said. “Barfbags for Eva, Leshawna, and DJ.” All three caught their barfbags happily.
“Harold and Justin.” Chris called. The two stuck their toungues out at each other.
“Ezekiel.” Chris threw him the barf bag and he cheered.
“First time I’ve ever been safe at elimination, yo!” He cheered.
“Don’t get used to it.” Chris grinned. “Anyway, Bridgette and Lindsay. Your performances in the challenge today were equally abysmal. But the person taking the drop of shame is…
Lindsay!” He threw the barfbag to Bridgette.
“Really? Even I thought I was going home.” Bridgette sheepishly admitted.
“LINDSAY!” Tyler ran in. “They voted you out? Aww man...and we just got back together too!”
“It’s okay Tyler. I’ll be thinking about you all the time at Playa des Losers! Unless I forget your existence again.” Lindsay thought out loud.
“That’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me.” Tyler teared up and the two began making out.
Chris kicked Lindsay out of the plane door. “BYYYYYYYE!” she yelled back.
“Well that’s one blonde down, and one blonde in VERY hot water.” The entirety of Team Failure stared at Bridgette. “What will happen next? Find out on Total...Drama….World Tour!”
Chapter Five- Broadway, Baby!
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, things got ICY in the Yukon! Eva realized her team DEFINITELY lived up to their name! We found out that Tyler was actually good at something, namely using his fingers! Yeah...not the most useful talent, but it’s something! And Lindsay finally remembered his existence. Ezekiel pined over Bridgette, but she was too busy pining for Alejandro, who left her stuck to a pole! In the end, it was lost Lindsay who cost their team the challenge and ended up taking the drop of shame! Now there are 21 left, and our next location is waiting! Who will be the big loser in the big apple? Find out, right here, right now on Total...Drama...World...Tour!”
Cody’s Angels sat in first class eating chocolates. “This is...perfect.” Gwen said in a dream-like haze.
Gwen (CONF): First class...is amazing! It’s almost like being on actually good reality show!
“Why can’t every season be like this!” Beth grinned.
“You’re welcome!” Courtney said.
“For what?” Heather raised an eyebrow.
“Leading the team to victory. Duh. Without my leadership, we might still be lost in the Yukon!” Courtney said, smiling smugly.
“You didn’t help us win at all! It was all Cody-wody!” Sierra said pinching Cody’s cheeks. “If anything, he should be leader!” Cody’s face went pale.
“Cody? Leader? I’d like to see that!” Courtney scoffed.
“Why don’t we. You have to give people a chance, Courtney.” Heather said smugly.
“You know what, fine! Let CODY lead the team!” Courtney cried.
Courtney (CONF): If they don’t want my help, then fine! They can go without it and see how long they last!
Cody (CONF): I can’t lead a team! I can’t talk to an attractive girl for more than 5 minutes! But thanks to Sierra, now I have to! *sigh*
In loser class, Alejandro was staring at the floor sadly. “You okay, bro?” Geoff asked.
“Yes, I’m fine. I just...feel so bad. Letting myself get seduced by her...I hope you do not hate me for this, amigo.” Alejandro said to Geoff mournfully.
“Of course not, dude!” Geoff grinned. “It’s not your fault, it’s hers.” Geoff stared at Bridgette, who was on the other side with Team Failure.
Geoff (CONF): I knew Bridgette was mad at me, but I didn’t know she was this bad! Making Alejandro fall in love with her….not cool, man!
Alejandro (CONF): I have no idea WHY Geoff trusts me more than his girlfriend--sorry, FORMER girlfriend, but I am glad that he does *laughs* I mean, it’s just so easy!
Noah (CONF): Alejandro is sooo transparent. Bridgette is as exciting as a piece of toast- why would SHE be seducing people? Everything he does is fishy.
On Team Failure’s side of loser class, they sat in silence. “So…” Leshawna began.
“Um…” DJ said.
“Well, ya know…” Eva said.
Justin (CONF): After the whole Bridgette fiasco, the whole team vibe is really awkward. I’m not quite sure that Alejandro’s telling the whole truth though- he’s hot, and hot guys like me don’t get seduced- we’re the ones doing the seducing.
“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t hate you.” Ezekiel smiled and pat Bridgette on the back.
“Thanks Zeke. That actually...helps, believe it or not.” Bridgette sighed.
Ezekiel (CONF): Score one for Zeke! I comforted Bridgette and she was totally into it, eh! I think that might be the first time we’ve ever actually spoken!
The plane flew towards a city with lots of skyscrapers and eventually stopped on airport runway.
“Us having a safe landing? That’s a first.” Gwen laughed.
“There was actually nowhere for us to unsafely land. It’s crowded here.” Chris complained. “Anyway, welcome to New York City!”
Courtney (CONF): NYC! Since I was a little girl, I dreamed of packing up all my things and moving here to become a big star…’s attorney.
“The Big Apple is where your next challenge takes place! Your first challenge is to find a carriage that you’ll carry one of your teammates in all the way to central park!” Chris announced.
“That should be easy! I mean, there are carriages everywhere in New York!” Cody smiled.
“I never specified which KIND of carriage.” Chris corrected. “You have to find a BABY carriage!”
“Cool!” Beth grinned.
Beth (CONF): My parents never threw away my baby carriage! I still ride in it sometimes when I get bored!
“We have to steal a carriage from a mother? That’s low, even for you.” Gwen commented.
“Oh, we have designated carriages. They’re right ….up….” Chris looked around to see the carriages. “..there!” He pointed to the top of the statue of liberty.
“Ooh! Do we get to hijack a plane from the airport and fly up there!” Izzy grinned.
“NO. That’s a...VERY...sensitive subject.” Chris sighed.
Izzy (CONF): New York is awesome! There are so many tall buildings and so many people...so many….fun…..things could be done! *laughs evily*
The teams were on a boat going to the statue. “Okay, who wants to be the Izzy handler for the day?” Noah asked. “There are way too many things in this city for her not to do something scary.”
“I’ll do it.” Trent said. “I’m sure she’ll be fine.”
Trent (Cockpit CONF): I know Izzy’s a little crazy , but I like to think of myself as a pretty calm and persuasive guy, and I think I can handle her just fine!
“You gon die.” Chef Hatchet warned.
“Welcome to the statue of liberty!” Chris announced to the teams.
“Wow, it’s so big!” Sadie said, incredulously.
“Great insight, Sadie!” Courtney rolled her eyes.
Sadie ran over to Cody. “Cody, can you tell Courtney to stop being so mean?” she asked.
“Why me?” Cody asked.
“I mean you ARE the leader now!” Sadie grinned.
Cody (CONF): Apparently as the leader I have to..break up conflicts? Courtney never did that! In fact, she only added to them!
Sadie (CONF): Having Cody as leader is soooo cool, especially compared to Courtney. I can actually talk to Cody without being scared for my life!
“Hey Courtney, maybe...tone it down a bit? You know, with the insults?” Cody asked.
“Tone it down?” Courtney looked livid, and was about to retort. “S-sure! I’ll definitely tone it down!”
Courtney (CONF): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
“Alright. Once you get your carriage, you’ll go down the fireman’s pole Then, get on your boat through the beautiful NYC sewers--” The contestants groaned while Chris chuckled.”..and all the way to central park. The first and second teams to get there get an advantage in part 2!”
“There’s a part TWO?” Leshawna asked incredulously. “THAT isn’t enough?”
“Yep!” Chris blew an airhorn. “Go!”
Sierra immediately began climbing up the rope to the top, but hurt her hands. “What is this?” Sierra asked.
“Steel wool. Captures the spirit of New York City- rough and annoying!” Chris grinned.
“O-M-G Chris, parentheses three your sense of humor!” Sierra grinned
Sierra (CONF): Everyone hates Chris’ challenges, but I love them! I watched people get tortured on this show for two seasons, to get tortured myself is soooo exciting!
DJ began climbing “Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!” He cried while scaling the steel wool. A pigeon landed on his shoulder. “Aww, hey there little guy.”
DJ (CONF): This is Paul the Pigeon. He’s my new pet! I just have to make sure Chris DOESN’T find out about him...he doesn’t seem to like my animals, for some reason. I think he just hates all things that are alive.
Izzy was the close to the top. “Ooh, this is fun! You know what I should do?” she began.
“Don’t let go and drop kick everyone back down!” Trent called.
“Aww, fine.” Izzy pouted.
Trent (CONF): It’s actually easier than I thought to get into the mind of a crazy person. ...does that make me crazy? Nah, I’m like the most normal person on this show! Wait, was the number of words in that confessional a multiple of 9?
Sierra was the first person to reach the top. “OMG!” she squealed. “I’m so good at this challenge!” She merrily skipped onto the crown of the statue and grabbed the carriage.
Bridgette reached the top of the statue second. “I’ll get the carriage!” she called down to her team.
“Don’t make out with it!” Justin called up to her. She sighed.
Bridgette (CONF): Okay, so not cool!
Bridgette went onto the crown and tried to grab the carriage, but was scared to lean out all the way to grab it fully. She grabbed the handle, and tried to flip it over her head, but ended up sending it and her, flying towards the middle of the crown, landing on top of Sierra and accidentally kissing her.
Geoff reached the crown. “Really?” he asked Bridgette.
Duncan reached the top and saw the carriage on the very end of the crown. “No way I’m getting that.” he scoffed. “Might as well just wait for--”
Izzy jumped onto the top, ran onto the crown and threw the carriage at Geoff. “Woo!” she cheered.
Sadie was the last of her team to climb up to the top. “That was hard!” she complained.
“Sorry to break it to you, but we still have a whole challenge left to do! Let’s go!” Heather rolled her eyes and went down the fireman’s pole. The rest of the team followed suit.
While sliding down, Sadie began talking to Cody. “Can you tell Heather to stop being so mean?” Sadie asked him.
“Uh...yeah, sure!” Cody grinned, then immediately grimaced.
Cody (CONF): I can deal with Courtney, but Heather? She’s a whole different...much scarier ball game.
“LET’S GO!” Eva yelled from the top of the statue. DJ, Ezekiel, Bridgette, Leshawna, and Justin were standing next to her, with only Harold still climbing.
“I’m PACING myself! GOSH!” Harold cried.
Eva growled and yanked on the rope, bringing Harold and everyne else still climbing up with it. Team Failure stared at her. “I was impatient.”
Eva (CONF): Some say that I have a….”temper”, to those people I say...SCREW YOY! YOU DUMB JERKS! YOU FAT UGLY--
“Good job on making it up team!” Alejandro smiled, looking at Noah and Tyler who were on the ground after being yanked up by Eva. “Let us leave!”
Alejandro (CONF): My team is...incompetent..to put it nicely. I still support them in everything they do, because I need to seem like a nice helpful team member, but if it were up to me...quite a few of them would be GONE by now. *coughs* Noah.
Cody’s Angels jumped in the boat. Heather started the engine. “Alright, let’s move it or lose it! And no, I do not mean lose it literally, though some of us seem to be TRYING.” Heather glared at Sadie.
Sadie nudged Cody, who gulped and then walked over to Heather. “Can we talk?” Cody asked.
“Sure. Beth, drive!” Heather ordered.
“I don’t have a lisc-” Beth began.
“Drive!” Heather ordered.
Beth (CONF): I’ve been lying low for a while, but maybe driving the boat is what will make me an asset for my team!
“So, y’know being the...y’know LEADER and all I’ve heard a few....uh, complaints that want you to be...nicer.” Cody cringed.
“They want me to be nicer? Being mean is like...my whole thing!” Heather complained. “But fine, I will be. But remember, me, you and Sierra are an alliance, and miss BFFFFL is going HOME next time we lose.”
Cody (CONF): Huh. That was..somehow easier than I thought it would be.
“This is fun!” Beth grinned. The boat entered the sewers, where it was pitchblack. “Suddenly not so fun!”
The boat began ramming into the sides. “Beth, just hold it still!” Gwen yelled.
“I’m trying!” Beth screamed as the boa continued to swerve. Cody pushed beth out of the seat, turned the headlights on, and got the boat moving quickly and straight.
Cody (CONF): You know, being the hero is not so bad!
“Come on, let’s move, move, move!” Eva yelled. Team Failure quickly slid down the fireman’s pole.
Harold got into the boat first and revved the engine. “Everyone ready?” he asked.
“Um, how come you get to steer?” Justin questioned.
“Because I went to Nautical Steve’s Boating Camp, duh.” Harold scoffed.
“Everyone who’s seen any beach movie ever knows that the hot guy steers the boat shirtless.” Justin said, taking the wheel and ripping off his shirt.
Harold (CONF): People really don’t appreciate my mad skills on this show. I mean, does Justin have a boating certificate from Nautical Steve’ himself? I think not.
“Hey Bridgette, just wanna make sure you’re okay, eh.” Ezekiel leaned over as the team drove into the sewer.
“Not really, but I’m getting better. Thank you.” Bridgette smiled.
Bridgette (CONF): Ezekiel isn’t the first person I’d peg as a friend when this season started but...he’s actually pretty genuine. It’s nice to know that someone doesn’t hate me and has no ulterior motives.
Ezekiel (CONF): *sing-songy* I’m gonna get with Bridgette! It’s gonna be awesome! I’m the coolest kid on Total Drama! *falls into toilet* Oh no!
“Come on guys, all the other teams are already in their boats! Let’s do this, brosephs!” Geoff cheered as they slid down the fireman’s pole.
Duncan jumped into the boat and immediately took the wheel. “I’m driving. You don’t know how many detention centers I’ve driven one of these out of.”
“Does anyone have objections?” Alejandro asked. He then looked and saw Izzy biting the boat and Trent trying to pull her away, Geoff and Tyler arm wrestling, and Noah reading.
Alejandro (CONF): How far is the merge again?
“OMG Cody, you’re doing awesome!” Sierra squealed.
“Thanks! It’s all in a days wo-OOOOH NO!” Cody screamed as a gigantic alligator approached the team’s boat. The rest of the team screamed.
“You LEAVE MY CODY ALONE!” Sierra screeched as she kicked the alligator in the nose. It began to cry. “Good! Think about what you’ve done.” Sierra shook her head at the gator as the team drove out of the sewer.
“Congratulations! You guys are the first team out of the sewer!” Chris grinned. “Your next task is to get to turtle pond. It’s juuuust around the bend...5 miles from here. And one of you has to ride in the baby carriage!”
“Oooh! I’ll do it!” Beth offered, as she jumped into the carriage.
Heather (CONF): There are SO MANY JOKES to be made there! But I have to hold my tongue for…*gags* Cody. I think I might have preferred Courtney, as...disgusting as that is.
Team Failure rode through the sewer on the boat. “No one can even see me shirtless in this darkness! What a waste.” Justin frowned.
Suddenly, the gator appeared in front of their boat and bared it’s teeth. “Well, at least you’ll get to DIE shirtless!” Leshawna gulped.
DJ jumped on the gator and began petting it. “It’s okay, buddy. Don’t be angry. We’re not gonna hurt you.” The gator smiled and DJ started scratching it’s stomach.
DJ (CONF): Alligators are just like bunnies! Only a LOOOOT bigger.
Team Failure drove out of the sewer. “Harold, you’re small and frail, be the baby.” Eva ordered.
“For your information, I went to bodybuilding steve’s--” Harold began.
“No one cares!” Team Failure all shouted at once.
Team Chris drove into the sewer. “Hey, who turned off the lights?” Noah asked, before realizing where they were. “Ugh, it smells like Owen.”
“Maybe you would know where we were if you were paying ATTENTION, amigo.” Alejandro commented.
Noah (CONF): It’s not my fault that a book is more exciting than a conversation with Trent! Alejandro’s so smug. He think she’s better than me just because he’s tan...and has giant pulsing muscles...and everyone likes him...all those things mean nothing, by the way!
“Uh..guys, we might have a bit of a problem.” Duncan said, seeing the gigantic gator.
“Gimme the wheel!” Tyler said, running up and wrestling it out of Duncan’s hands.
“EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME!” Tyler cried, while driving up the gator’s back. It shocklngly worked. The team drove out of the sewer.
“Nice one Tyler!” Trent grinned.
“Excellent work, compadre.” Alejandro smiled.
Tyler (CONF): Two challenges in a row of being the team MVP. People underestimate me here!*stands up and head breaks through the ceiling *Dangit…
“Team Chris is the last one through the sewer!” Chris announced. “Now, who’s your baby?”
“Ooh, I will!” Izzy grinned.
“No, you’re staying with me.” Trent said. Izzy sighed.
“Noah can do it. He has the frame for it.” Alejandro smiled as Duncan laughed and Noah seethed.
“Don’t condescend to me, you--” Duncan closed the lid of the carriage, making Noah unhearable.
“Now isn’t that better?” Duncan smiled, as Team Chris began running.
All three teams eventually were neck and neck. “I thought our path was shortest?” Heather asked.
“Yeah..I sorta lied.” Chris smiled. “Yours was the longest. Even challenges create drama! And for more fun…”
The entire cast groaned, sans Courtney.
Courtney: What’s not to love about New York City? The taxis move at a new york ditty! The pigeons fly, the crime is high, what’s not to love about New York?
Geoff: The lights are lighter! The fun is funner! The bagels are bagel-er! The bums are bummer! Dirt and grime make every alley shine! What’s not to love about New York?
Beth: The stores and the fashion! Big shows where stars cash in! It’s crazy cause the city never sleeps!
DJ: Dance break!
- DJ and Leshawna perform some terrible, horrible, no good, very bad dancing*
Team Cody: Subway trains and the hustle bustle!
Team Failure: Cappucinos while the mobsters tussle!
Team Chris: And pretzel stands for all you pretzel fans!
Geoff: What’s not to love?
Team Chris: What’s not to love?
All: What’s not to love about New York?
All three teams reached turtle pond. Chris appeared to explain the next part. “Now, each team must pick a volunteer to go get an apple from the middle of turtle pond!” Chris held up a snapping turtle. “And it does live up to it’s name!”
“Cody, you have to pick who goes as LEADER!” Sadie grinned.
“Um...Heather?” Cody said anxiously.
“Me???? That’s...that’s...that’s perfectly fine, thanks Cody!” Heather said, eye twitching.
Heather (CONF): That little twerp is so lucky I’m in an alliance with him, or he would be GONE!
Leshawna jumped in the pond. “This should be easy. I ain’t scared of no turtles!” she scoffed.
“I will go, friends.” Alejandro said, stepping into the pond. “Just so none of you have to.”
“Gee thanks, Martyrjan-” Alejandro slammed the baby carriage lid shut again, making Noah unhearable.
Heather walked into the water. “Hey, this isn’t that bad.” she said. A turtle immediately bit her hair. “Not my extensions!”
“Hmph. These turtles know not to mess with Leshawna!” Leshawna said, smugly. A turtle then bit Leshawna in the butt. “Leshawna down. Leshawna down!”
Alejandro skipped through the water gracefully, grabbed the apple, and put it in the Team Chris carriage. “Let us go, friends.”
Heather (CONF): He can walk on water now? Ugh! And my team is forcing me to go turtle fishing! *turtle pops out of her shirt, bites her chin* AHHHH!
“Do you have control of Izzy?” Alejandro asked Trent.
“Yeah, but I don’t know for how much longer. She has that look in her eyes.” Trent said, staring at Izzy. The redhead maniacally laughed.
“How about me and Tyler go set a sweet Izzy trap, and you dudes just run to the end after us!” Geoff grinned.
“Sounds like a plan to me.” Duncan shrugged. Geoff and Tyler ran off, and the rest of Team Chris followed another path.
“Get off me you little freaks!” Heather threw turtles off of her back and then dropped the apple in the carriage. “Let’s go.” Team Cody began running.
Leshawna ran back to the carriage with the apple. “Let’s get a move on! I want to WIN!” Eva ordered as Team Failure began running.
Trent and Izzy ran together. “So Izzy, hypothetically, if you wanted to do something crazy before the end of the challenge, what would it be?” Trent asked.
“Well, I’d probably wait until we got a few yards from the end, jump in front of the carriage and throw it and the whole team a super far distance back!” Izzy grinned.
“There we go.” Trent shrugged.
“OMG, I can’t believe Codykins is about to lead us to a win!” Sierra gushed.
“I know! He’s like, the best leader ever!” Sadie squealed.
“Okay, I can’t be the only one nauseated with leader Cody, right?” Heather said, while running to the finish line with Gwen and Courtney.
“Yeah, it’s disgusting. I should be up there.” Courtney scowled.
“You know, I never thought I’d be agreeing with you two, but yeah.” Gwen said. “It’s weird.”
“I think it’s high time an ALLIANCE was formed to stop it.” Courtney smiled.
“Oh, I am sooooo in.” Heather grinned.
“Weirdly enough...so am I.” Gwen shrugged.
Courtney and Heather put their hands in the middle and raised them while evily laughing. “Way to nail the subtlety part, guys.” Gwen rolled her eyes.
Gwen (Cockpit CONF): Aligning with Courtney is like making a deal with the devil...aligning with Heather is like making a deal with the devil’s meaner scarier older brother…but none of us like the Cody-as-a-leader thing, so why not?
Chef laughed evily.
Gwen (Cockpit CONF): I somehow feel like I’m gonna regret this.
Team Failure ran to the finish line. “We’re so close!” Eva yelled.
“And Paul made it the whole way through!” DJ grinned. Chris shot the bird with a tranquilizer.
“And Team Failure scores first place and a trip to first class!” The entire team cheered, sans DJ who fell to his knees and began to weep. “WHY?” he cried.
Team Chris and Team Cody had a foot race to the finish. Team Chris was slightly ahead when Geoff and Tyler rejoined the team.
“The trap is set?” Trent asked.
“Yep. When she jumps ahead to try and stop us, the ground will give out and she’ll fall in!” Geoff grinned.
“Nice.” Trent smiled.
Team Chris was grinning nearing the end and where the trap was set. However, instead of stopping them from the front, Izzy jumped backwards and kicked all 6 team members into the hole they dug.
Izzy (CONF): Expect the unexpected.
Team Cody swerved around and went to the finish line. “Yes!” Cody cheered.
“Cody’s Angels are not eliminating anyone tonight!” Chris announced. “Still get to..’enjoy’ loser class, however. As for Team Chris, you’ll officially become the team with the least players, AND with the least dignity tonight at elimination. Have fun!”
“Should it be Izzy tonight?” Tyler asked Geoff, Trent and Alejandro. “I mean it’s her fault that we lost.”
“I mean, it’s sorta our fault for trying to trap her.” Geoff said. “And Trent’s for not handling her.”
“Yeah, maybe Trent should go home!” Tyler said.
“I’m right here!” Trent complained.
“No, no, you’re going about this all wrong. There is a bigger threat that needs to be eliminated, immediately.” Alejandro smiled.
Noah went up to Izzy, Trent, and Geoff. “Okay. I know Izzy messed up the challenge, but Alejandro’s a total slimeball. He NEEDS to leave.” Noah plotted.
“Yeah. Anyone that normal can’t be trusted.” Izzy shook her head. She then looked at Trent. “Eh...you’re okay I guess.”
Geoff and Trent exchanged glances, then gulped.
“Team Chris... I gotta say, I’m dissapointed. I thought a team with MY namesake would do much better. Anyway, one of you is gone. Let’s see who it is!” Chris grinned.
Noah (CONF): You are WAY too smart. *stamps passport*
Alejandro (CONF): Bye bye. *stamps passport*
Trent (CONF): Sorry. *stamps passport reluctantly*
Izzy (CONF): *stamps lots of passports wildly*
“Alright. The REVOTES are in. Since SOMEONE decided to stamp everyone’s passport.” Chris glared. Izzy whistled.
“Barfbags for...Geoff, Tyler, and Duncan!” Chris announced. Geoff and Tyler high fived, while Duncan caught his smoothly.
“Trent is also safe.” Chris announced. Trent’s hit him in the forehead, but he didn’t flinch.
“Dude, are you alright?” Duncan asked.
“Oh, yeah. My head is so big that anything that happens in the top half of it doesn’t actually have any nerves or brain receptors or anything.” Trent smiled. Duncan backed away slowly.
“Izzy, Noah, Alejandro. Two of you are safe, but one of you is going home. And that person is…..
…” Chris was about to speak but was interrupted by a loud helicopter flying right by the plane door. “RCMP! WE ARE HERE FOR IZZY!” a loud booming voice yelled.
“Oh my gosh, soooo clingy!” Izzy said, referring to the RCMP. “Welp, gotta go! See ya later!” Izzy smiled and jumped out of the plane with no parachute.
“Well...she’s out, I guess. Who will get voted out or seized by the police next time? Find out right here on Total...Drama...World Tour!” Chris smiled.
Chapter Six- When In Romania...
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our three teams got a big taste of the big apple! On Team Chris, there was no love lost between Noah and Alejandro. But on Team Cody, everyone was in love with Cody! Except for Gwen, Heather, and Courtney, who formed a pact to send HIM packing! Ice cold. But it was overplanning for Izzy that caused Team Chris the challenge, and it was the RCMP that cost Izzy the game! I’m sure she enjoyed her parachuteless drop of shame. Now, 20 are left, and our next location is sure to be totally BATTY. Who will get hassled in the castle? Find out, right here, right now, on Total..Drama...World Tour!”
Team Failure sat in first class, getting pedicures. “This is great.” Bridgette grinned.
“Yeah. They got rid of my worst bunion!” Eva smiled.
Bridgette (CONF): I’m scared that there’s more than one.
“So, Leshawna...have you realized from the whole Bridgette fiasco what a bad guy that Alejandro is?” Harold asked.
“That was Bridgette’s fault, not his. And why do you care?” Leshawna asked.
“Because if we’re dating, you need to stop making googoo eyes at the spanish boy!” Harold scoffed.
“Okay, first off, I am not making eyes at the spanish boy. Second, I can look at whoever I WANT. Third of all, we are NOT DATING!” Leshawna yelled. The rest of the team looked over at them.
Justin (CONF): Seeing Harold’s dreams get destroyed...man, it was almost better than the pedicure.
Leshawna (CONF): Do I feel bad...no, not really! If he wants to keep saying we’re dating, I’ll keep shooting him down.
“Well fine, if you want to be like that, I don’t care! Gosh!” Harold yelled. “I’d be storming off right now but my nails are still drying.”
In loser class, Sierra was gushing over Cody. “OMG, that challenge win was epic!” she giggled, hugging the lowly nerd.
Sierra (CONF): Cody is such a better leader than Courtney. With him, I bet we’ll win every challenge!
“Does she not remember the part where we almost lost?” Courtney scoffed to Heather.
“The only reason we won is because of Izzy.” Gwen rolled her eyes. “And we didn’t even win! We just didn’t-lose!
Heather (CONF): Oh believe me, Gwen and Courtney is the LAST alliance I thought I’d have. But it kinda...works in a way. We have an equal capacity for hatred!
“That loss was a terrible one, compadres.” Alejandro frowned. “I wonder who would’ve gone home if Izzy didn’t have to go?
Alejandro (CONF): Being in the bottom 3 last night is very concerning. I wasn’t going home, of course, but the fact that Noah actually voted for me is very shady. I wish Izzy’s police record didn’t keep him here.
Geoff stared at Team Failure. Bridgette looked up and smiled at him. He immediately scowled and walked away.
Geoff (CONF): I miss Bridgette...but I can’t forgive her for what she did! SERIOUSLY not cool!
Bridgette (CONF): I feel AWFUL about what happened with Alejandro. I just want to get a chance to talk to Geoff, but he won’t even look at me!
The first class contestants all slept on reclined seats. In loser class, Cody slept in Sierra’s lap, Beth slept in the fetal position, Saide slept straddling a broom, and the rest of the contestants slept normally and calmly.
“Awwww...so peaceful “ Chris smiled. He then turned on the loudspeaker and screamed “WAKE UP!”
The contestants were all gathered in the dining area of the plane. “Why do we have a challenge NOW? It’s the middle of the night.” Heather complained.
“Um, for asethetic reasons.” Chris said. “This show needs to look as good as possible, and you can’t do a spooky challenge at day time.” DJ gulped.
DJ (CONF): Okay, so maybe both of my previous eliminations were in horror challenges. But that means nothing! I am NOT afraid. *knock on door* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The contestants exited the plane to see a large ominous castle in front of them. ‘Welcome to…TRANSYLVANIA!” Thunder crashed dramatically after Chris spoke. “Technically it’s Romania, but it sounds more dramatic if we call it TRANSYLVANIA!” Thunder crashed again.
“I think I was born in that castle.” Eva stated, the entire cast looked at her.
Eva (Cockpit CONF): Things in eastern europe aren’t so...developed. My mom went into labor when she was training near here, and this was the closest facility. My dad was an amazing doctor, so it was all fine.
“You weird, girl.” Chef said, looking concerned.
“Enter!” Chris said, and the castle doors opened dramatically as thunder crashed. “Wow, that wasn’t even planned. Cool.”
The contestants stood with Chris inside the castle. “Now, here in Transylvania, there’s kind of a….vampire problem. And for today’s challenge, you’re going to have to deal with that face to face! There are 3 vampires--”
“So, interns in costumes.” Heather said.
“So, VAMPIRES.” Chris replied angrily. “Anyway, they’re inside the castle. Your challenge is simply to not get captured! The last person standing wins it for their team. And for the losers...well, you’ve got a date with me tonight at elimination, where we’ll find out which one of you DEFINITELY can’t fly.” Chris laughed.
DJ (CONF): V-v-vampires? I mean, I’m not SCARED or anything but….vampires?
“Courtney, let’s go.” Heather demanded.
“Duncan, come with!” Courtney called. Duncan joined the two girls.
Courtney (CONF): I’ve barely gotten to talk to Duncan at all! I’ve been too busy leading the team. But now that *eye twitch* CODY is leading, I can finally actually enjoy a world tour with my boyfriend!
“Let’s go Cody-wody!” Sierra squealed, grabbing the skinny boy and carrying him.
“Would you lovely ladies mind if I accompanied you?” Alejandro asked Beth and Sadie.
“Not at all.” Sadie smiled.
Sadie (CONF): Alejandro is sooooo yummy! He’s like...Justin before he got ugly!
Alejandro (CONF): Beth and Sadie are both desperate, and they’re probably the easiest people here to seduce. I can’t go after a big gun right after the whole Bridgette mess- it’d be way too obvious.
“Hey Leshawna...not out of being SCARED or anything but just out of general teamwork and working together and friendship and--” DJ began.
“Yes, I’ll come with you, turkey.” Leshawna rolled her eyes.
“I’m coming too!” Harold called.
“Oh, great.” Leshawna sighed.
Harold (CONF): This challenge is my chance to get Leshawna back! When she’s’ scared and needs someone to turn to, and my manly physique is right there, she’ll be begging for me!
“That means you’re coming with me, pretty boy.” Eva picked up Justin and began carrying him.
“Let’s go, bros!” Geoff called to Noah and Tyler, who shrugged and walked with them.
Gwen looked around to see anyone she could partner with, and saw that everyone was gone except Trent. “Oh...good.”
“Well...I guess we have no choice.” Trent awkwardly scratched his head.
“Yep...guess not…” Gwen awkwardly looked at the ground.
Gwen (CONF): *sighs* My life is like a bad sitcom!
DJ, Harold and Leshawna walked through the halls of the castle. “This is f-f-f-ine. Not scary at all.” DJ trembled.
“Leshawna, are you scared? I can hold you if you want, babe.” Harold winked.
“No. Not now, not ever. And I am NOT your babe.” Leshawna yelled.
Harold: You might think I know it all…
“Harold, we’re not to that part of the episode yet. Zip it.” Chris said.
Harold: And maybe I’m headed for a fall…
“Suit yourself.” Chris shrugged.
Harold: I'm just that brainiac guy, left alone to sit and cry. Honey...I have some questions for you first...girl...take some time to school me, quench my thirst... for knowledge. Cause, gosh! I just gotta know...How'd you get so hot?
Harold: You’re so freakin hot!
Harold: My physics knowledge ain’t got hope, of explaining why your butt’s so dope! You bend my space-time continum, then you shake your what your mama give you ems! I don’t even hardly know my name...cause when you walk in the room, nobody’s looking the same!
Harold *beatboxing* Gosh! Alright! I demand a scientific investigation to whether you’re even from the human nation! I swear you’re changing my molecular structure! WIth all your sexy ions...you make my heart rupture!
“Can we stop singing and get a move on? At this rate we’ll get captured by the vampires any second!” Leshawna said and began stomping down the hall.
Harold (CONF): I think she was into it!
“So...Bridgette, it’s a shame about Geoff huh?” Ezekiel said.
“Yeah...it is.” Bridgette looked at the ground sadly.
“Remember, if you ever need to talk, I’m right he--” Tyler pushed Ezekiel out of the way, followed by Noah and Geoff.
“I think we should all travel in a pack. That way, we have a better chance of sending Team Cody, the REAL threats to elimination.” Noah suggested.
“Yeah, what the smart guy said!” Tyler nodded.
Ezekiel (CONF): Seriously? I finally get some alone time with Bridgette, and these hosers have to mess everything up!
Eva and Justin walked. “So, you were really born here?” Justin asked.
“Yep. In that room.” Eva pointed
“That’s….disgusting.” Justin said.
“Times were tough.” Eva shrugged. She opened a large hulking door that led to a gigantic room with lots of buttons and lab equipment.
“Oh man, this was my dad’s laboratory!” Eva said excitedly.
“You were born at your dad’s job?” Justin questioned. “Wow, this just gets weirder and weirder.”
“Don’t judge my family.” Eva snarled. Suddenly, thunder crashed, and a piece of paper fell from the sky into Eva’s hands.
“I have a baaad feeling about this.” Justin commented.
Bridgette, Geoff, Ezekiel, Tyler and Noah all walked in silence. “So, uh….how’s the weather been, lately?” Tyler asked as desperate small talk.
“I’ve been feeling nothing but COLD.” Geoff said, glaring at Bridgette.
“Listen, I said I’m so--” Bridgette began.
“Nuh-uh! Not gonna happen.” Geoff said, walking in front of her. She sighed.
Noah (CONF): I would feel bad if it wasn’t so funny.
“So you’re in an alliance with Heather and Courtney? That sounds….legitimately awful.” Trent said to Gwen as they walked through the castle.
Gwen laughed. “I mean, have you seen my options? It was either that or align with Sadie and Beth.”
“Yeah, your team kinda blows.” Trent chuckled. “My team, however is awesome “
“Yeah, how does your two elimination ceremonies feel?” Gwen questioned, smiling. “AND the fact that it’s a total sausage party?”
“I’d rather have a sausage party then deal with Heather.” Trent chuckled.
Gwen (CONF): You know, after the whole break up fiasco, I forgot how much I enjoy just talking to Trent. He’s such a genuine and cool person, and I miss being able to have normal people conversations without it being all awkward.
“Hey...I just wanna say that I’m sorry for being so weird at the film lot.” Trent scratched his head. “I was being a gigantic weirdo.”
“No, you weren’t. I’m sorry for handling everything so badly.” Gwen sighed. “You deserved much better.”
“Friends?” Trent asked, holding his hand out.
“Friends.” Gwen smiled and shook his hand.
“HISSSSS!” The vampire popped up behind Gwen and Trent.
“AHHHHHH!” The former lovers screamed, and were stuffed into a sack.
Alejandro, Beth, and Sadie walked through the tunnel. “It is such an honor to be walking with such beautiful women.” Alejandro smiled.
“Oh...thank you.” Sadie blushed.
“Thanks! My boyfriend Brady calls me beautiful all the time!” Beth giggled.
“Oh...great...and to be walking with such intelligent women as well….” Alejandro grinned.
“Thanks! I got a 2300 on my SATs!” Beth grinned.
“Me...intelligent?” Sadie asked.
“Of course, you’re such a beautiful and smart woman. You should be leading that team instead of Cody.” Alejandro smiled
Sadie (CONF): That’s the first time anyone’s called me smart! To think...I could be leading the team instead of Cody!
Eva and Justin stood holding the piece of paper. “What is it?” Justin asked.
“Instructions for...reawakening.” Eva read off the paper.
“Reawakening of what?” Justin questioned.
“We’ll never find out unless we get started!” Eva announced, going to turn something on.
“Wait a second...you’re going to actually do this?” Justin asked.
“Yeah. It’s my dad, what’s the worst thing that can happen?” Eva asked.
“A lot! A lot of bad things can happen!” Justin yelled.
Justin (CONF): Everyone knows that hot guys DIE in horror movies! Dead people get significantly less modeling deals then alive ones!
Noah, Geoff, Tyler, Bridgette, and Ezekiel stood in front of a giant sprawling staircase. “This can lead to nothing good.” Noah stared at the giant thing.
“Hey Bridgette, want to push me down? It’ll probably hurt less!” Geoff scoffed. Bridgette sighed
“I’ll go up first! EXTREME!” Tyler yelled and began running up the steps, About 10 stairs in, a vampire fell from the ceiling and grabbed Tyler. It then stared at the other four.
“RUN!” Ezekiel yelled, and the other four ran in the other direction.Bridgette slipped and fell.
“Get up, Bridge! Don’t go!” Geoff cried, then realized what he’d done. “I mean…now you know how I feel!”
Geoff (CONF): I still really love her but….I just can’t be with her after what she did! *sighs* Dude, why is this game so hard?
Courtney, Duncan and Heather were walking through the castle. “So, Cody’s leading your team?” Duncan questioned.
“Yes, Instead of ME, can you believe it?” Courtney scoffed.
“Well, you can always lead me.” Duncan grined, and the two began to make out passionately.
Courtney (CONF): I’ve been so focused on the game that I haven’t been able to just be Duncan’s girlfriend. It’s nice.
Heather (CONF): I just want to make it clear that I agreed to go with Courtney, NOT Courtney and Duncan. Those two making out was making me nauseous!
A vampire appeared and immediately captured Courtney and Duncan. “Ha!” Heather laughed. She then realized the situation and gulped as she was stuffed in the sack.
Ezekiel, Bridgette, Geoff, and Noah kept walking. “Wow...this is scary, eh?” Ezekiel said.
“Bridgette’s the scary one.” Geoff rolled his eyes,
“Why are you taking this?” Ezekiel whispered to Bridgette.
“Because I deserve it for everything I’ve done!” Bridgette frowned.
“No you don’t! You’re awesome! You’re like...the coolest girl here! You’re--” Ezekiel praied, but was cut off by the vampire coming up behind him.
“You’re dead!” The vampire said, stuffing Ezekiel into the sack. Geoff, Bridgette, and Noah screamed and ran away.
“Scalpel.” Eva called.
“Scalpel.” Justin handed it to her.
“Screwdriver.” Eva called.
“Screwdriver.” Justin replied, handing it to her
“Meat.” Eva called.
“Meat.” Justin replied, handing her a gigantic drumstick that she took a bite out of.
“I think it’s finished. Fire up the electricity!” Eva ordered Justin.
Justin flipped a switch and the room went dark, while the two wires on Eva’s creation began jolting electricity. A giant green monster that was lying on the table opened it’s eyes and stood up.
“It’s alive...IT’S ALIVE!” Eva yelled “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“I think your dad might have been Dr.Frankenstein.” Justin commented.
“Not familiar.” Eva replied. The green monster began walking out of the laboratory, walking through the wall without flinching.
“Thiiiis could be bad.” Eva commented. Justin nodded.
“Okay, that was WAY too close for comfort.” Noah caught his breath with Bridgette and Geoff.
“Much like Bridgette and Alejandro!” Geoff sniped.
“Look Geoff, I’m sorry. I’m really, really, sorry. What more do you want me to say?” Bridgette asked.
“I want you to say--run!” Geoff yelled.
“You want me to say run?” Bridgette questioned. She saw the vampire behind Noah and screamed as he was stuffed into the sack.
Noah (CONF): I was more mad that I missed the Bridgette/Geoff fight than the fact that I got out of the challenge. It was finally getting good!
Sierra and Cody walked through the castle. “Don’t worry Cody. If ANY vampire or weird thing comes near you, I will fight them off for you!” Sierra declared.
“Wow, thanks Sierra!” Cody grinned.
“It’s for you...it’s ALL for you.” Sierra whispered into his ear. He began to tremble. Suddenly, the vampire came up behind and stuffed both of them into the sack.
Cody (CONF); Why exactly could we not get separate sacks?
Alejandro, Beth, and Sadie continued walking through the corridor. “I remember back on the Island, when people made fun of you for your braces, but you looked stunning then, and now...well, you are drop dead gorgeous!” Alejandro winked.
“Thanks! It’s all because of Dubin Orthodontics.” Beth smiled.
Alejandro looked irate. He put Beth’s arm in his and flexed.
“Wow, your arm is strong!” Beth complimented. Alejandro smiled. “My boyfriend Brady has SUCH strong arms. He’s pretty great.” Alejandro banged his head on the stone.
Alejandro (CONF): Of all the beautiful women here, Beth is the one that’s out of my league? BETH?
A vampire appeared behind Sadie and grabbed her. “AAAHHH!” She yelled. “Alejandro, help!”
“I have my own problems currently!” Alejandro said, as a vampire tried to stuff him into a sack as well. A third appeared and tried to grab Beth, but missed and knocked off her glasses.
“My glasses! I can’t see anything without my glasses!” Beth cried, stumbling out of the room as Alejandro and Sadie were captured.
A bat flew on DJ’s hand. “Aww, cute.” he squealed. “I think I’m gonna call you batty.”
“AND you lied about crying to go on the reward!” Harold cried.
“REALLY? That’s ancient history!” Leshawna yelled.
“These two are driving me batty.” DJ sniped to his bat.
“You know what, we’re through!” Harold yelled.
“We never even started!” Leshawna cried.
The gigantic green monster broke through the wall and into the room DJ, Harold, and Leshawna were in.
“This...is not good.” Harold gulped. DJ stood paralyzed with fear for five seconds.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” DJ ran out of the room.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” DJ ran down the hallway.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” DJ ran past the laboratory.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” DJ ran past the contestants already eliminated from the challenge.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” DJ ran through a wall.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” DJ ran through the room Geoff and Bridgette were in, stepping on a tile that made more walls drop down, trapping them inside.
DJ (CONF): Okay, maybe I got a liiiiittle spooked…
“Ooh, Bridgette and Geoff alone together with no escape? I think it’s time for a little…” Chris grinned.
“This is a duet, so no one but the lovebirds has to sing.” Chris chuckled.
“I’d like to hear what she has to say...or sing, I guess.” Geoff scoffed.
Bridgette: I’m...sorry. So sorry. Sorry like a flower...after the first frost. And I’m sorry like a mitten that has dropped and feels so….lost. *disco ball appears in the chamber and band appears behind her* Oops, I really messed up! At least I fessed up!
Geoff: You didn’t fess up, you got caught on TV!
“It’s international Geoff, Total Drama is seen all over the world!” Chris smiled.
Bridgette: But I’m sorry….so sorry. Sorry like a surfer who’s busted her board. And I’m...sorry like a band, when they play the wrong...chord. *disco ball falls again* Oops, I really screwed up! I felt some dude up!
Geoff: INTERnational TV! In front of all my friends!
Bridgette: But I’m sorry….so sorry! Geoff, I really think you rule. You’re so cute that you make me drool! And if you give me one more chance….I’ll do my happy, happy dance!
Geoff: You are really cute when you dance...oh, no, no!
Bridgette: Geoff, you’re the one for me. And I’m so incredibly, wildly, crazily….oh so completely, infinitely….beyond…..sorry.
“Are you really sorry?” Geoff asked, tearing up.
“Yes! I love you, Geoff. Let’s be us again!” Bridgette pleaded.
“I love you too, babe.” Geoff and Bridgette ran to each other, hugged, then immediately began making out, until the giant green monster broke through the door, followed by Eva and Justin chasing after it.
“Alright, let’s see if this works!” Justin yelled, running up to the monster and lightly tapping it on the back of the foot. “Well, I got nothing.”
“AAAAAAHHH!” Eva screamed as she ran up, punched the monster in the face multiple times, and kicked it in the stomach.
“I think you just rekilled the living dead.” Justin said, eyes widened.
The contestants stood in front of the castle. “Alright….that challenge…WAS AWESOME! We should throw you guys in dangerous places more often.” Chris smiled.
“You do. Like, every episode!” Gwen cried.
“Zip it. Anyway, since Eva and Justin killed the monster, Team Failure wins first class!” Chris announced. Team Failure cheered.
“That wasn’t even the point of the challenge!” Heather cried.
“True, but it was AWESOME!” Chris chuckled. “And since Geoff stayed alive the whole time, Team Chris is not going to elimination!” Team Chris cheered.
“What about Beth? She stayed alive the whole time too!” Courtney cried.
“Um...not quite. She got out a while ago, she just can’t find us.” Chris said, The contestants looked to their left, where Beth was in a field, glasses-less, wandering.
“Hello? Chris? Anyone?” Beth asked before walking into a tree.
“And since that means all of Team Cody was captured, you know what that means! Elimination for you guys.” Chris chuckled.
“Nice leadership, Cody.” Courtney scoffed.
“Hey, I never asked to be leader?” Cody asked.
“Maybe you won’t be for long.” Courtney glared.
“Yeah, because I AM!” Sadie announced. “That’s right, Alejandro said I was soooo qualified, so I’m Team Cody’s new leader!”
Gwen, Heather, and Courtney sat on the plane, discussing the vote. “I mean....it should be Cody, right?” Courtney said.
“It would make sense, but….how useful is blind Beth gonna be?” Heather asked.
“You can replace glasses. You can’t replace stupidity, which Sadie has in spades.” Gwen rolled her eyes. “And I’d rather stop her leading before it even starts.
The three sighed. Heather and Courtney walked away, and Alejandro came down to sit next to Gwen. “Can I ask a favor of you?” The latin boy asked.
“Team Cody. That challenge was a failure with a capital F, and someone’s taking the drop of shame for it! Who’s it gonna be?” Chris asked, then laughed.
Heather (CONF): *stamps passport pensively*
Sadie (CONF): *stamps passport angrily*
Sierra (CONF): OMG, I’m voting someone out of Total Drama! This is awesome! ...oh right, I have to actually vote someone off, don’t I?
Beth (CONF): *stamps camera* Is that right?
“Well, you’ve all voted. Some of us took more effort than others.” Chris glared at Beth, who smiled sheepishly.
“In my opinion, there’s a reason to send ALL of you home. Gwen, you were first out of the challenge, which is pretty pathetic. EZEKIEL beat you. Courtney, if you spent less time yelling, and more time leading, maybe Cody wouldn’t have taken your spot.” Chris smiled.
“He didn’t take my spot! I resigned!” Courtney insisted.
“Yeah, sure. Cody, you’ve proved you’re just as incompetent at leading as you are at women. Beth, no one wants a mole on their team, and with no glasses you kind of look like one.” Chris commented.
“Rude!” Beth said. “I’d be glaring at you if I could see.”
“Sadie, your leadership reign hasn’t started yet, and I’m already scared. Sierra, everyone’s scared about who you’re gonna go to next when Cody’s eliminated.” Sierra giggled and hugged the nerd, who mouthed ‘help me’. “And Heather….well, you’re just plain unpleasant.”
“I am a likable person!” Heather declared. The rest of the team laughed.
“Heather and Sierra got no votes.” Chris threw them barfbags. “Everyone else did. And the person taking the drop of shame is….
...Beth!” Chris announced.
“What?” Sadie said.
“What?” Sierra said.
“What?” Cody said.
“What?” Gwen said.
“What?” Beth said.
“What?” Chris said. “I mean I had the results, but that one was a doozy!
Alejandro (CONF): Beth was the only girl in the game not falling for my charm. So, I took the steps necessary to ensure she went home. First, I asked Gwen, the most approachable of the alliance to tell Courtney, who agreed because--
Courtney (CONF): Beth NEVER aligned with me at the film lot! Well, who’s laughing now!
Alejandro (CONF): Her animosity was enough fuel for her to tell Heather, who said yes because--
Heather (CONF): Beth BROKE our alliance on the island. Well, who’s laughing now?
Alejandro (CONF): And Heather informed the pathetic Cody, who agreed because…
Cody (CONF): At this point, I’ll vote for anyone who’s not me. The leadership thing didn’t go over too well.
Alejandro (CONF): This all results in one booted Beth, one confused team, and one Alejandro in full control of a whole other team!
“But...I’ve analyzed TD votes for years? It just doesn’t make sense!” Sierra cried.
“Sorry, Beth.” Gwen said, sympathetically.
“You were shockingly tolerable this time around.” Heather commented.
“Thanks…” Beth said, putting on her parachute. “Can I have my glasses back? I can’t really seEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Chris pushed her out of the plane.
“Well, that’s one wannabee down, 18 more freakshows to go. Who will go home next? Find out next time on Total...Drama...World Tour!”
Chapter Seven- Slap Slap Revolution
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, things got SERIOUSLY batty in Transylvania! Eva connected back to her roots….those roots happening to be a horrific monster! Gwen and Trent connected back to their former problems, and decided to be friends. And Harold tried to reconnect back to Leshawna. Key word- TRIED. In the end, the only thing Cody led his team to was a loss. And Alejandro’s triple cross frontside against Beth was so complex that I didn’t know what the heck happened- all I know is she’s OUTTA here! Now, there are 19 left, and things are about to get COLD in Germany. Who’s getting leder-hosed today? Find out right here, on Total...Drama...World Tour!”
Team Failure sat in first class eating drumsticks. “Who knew goat was so good, eh?” Ezekiel said, chomping in.
“Local delicacy.” Eva said, biting into hers.
“Emphasis on delicacy!” DJ mumbled, his mouth full of meat.
Bridgette snuck in from the loser class door, trying to go unnoticed. “And where have you been?” Justin questioned.
“Nowhere, I just...had to go to the bathroom!” Bridgette grinned, unconvincingly.
“All night?” Leshawna questioned. Bridgette stared at the ground.
Bridgette (CONF): Okay, MAYBE I had a late night make out session with Geoff. But can you blame me? I’m just so happy we’re back together and he doesn’t hate me anymore!
Justin leaned over to DJ and Ezekiel. “Going for make out sessions with people on the other team is a serious no-no.” he said.
“Yeah, eh. Why is Bridgette kissing people OTHER than me! I mean...why is she kissing people in general? Not me. I have nothing to do with this. I am removed from the situation.” Ezekiel said. DJ and Justin looked at each other then stared at him.
In loser class, Team Chris sat minding their own business. Suddenly, Alejandro stood up in front of them.
“I am so proud of us for not losing last time. You all did a wonderful job. But just ‘not losing’ isn’t enough. This is a team full of champions, and champions do not get second best. Champions win! Champions rule the roost! And amigos, we ARE champions! So we WILL be in first class next time!” Alejandro declared, dramatically. All of Team Chris clapped, even Noah begrudgingly. Gwen, Courtney, Cody, Sierra, and Sadie clapped as well. Heather glared at Courtney.
“What? It was inspirational.” Courtney said.
“Alright guys, we’re gonna kick butt and win today, right!” Heather announced.
“Probably not.” Cody said.
“We’re pretty weak.” Gwen added.
“Alejandro’s was better.” Courtney critiqued.
Heather (Cockpit CONF): I cannot believe that everyone thinks that Jerkejandro is better than me! He’s sooooo transparent, and his team loves him! What gives?
“Well, he’s a tolerable human, for starters.” Chef commented.
“I think I like the bathroom camera better!” Heather complained.
“It’s okay guys, because I’M leading now, so we WILL win!” Sadie declared.
Sadie (CONF): Alejandro gave me the confidence I needed in Transylvania, I am going to rule this team! And I don’t even need Katie here!
The 19 remaining contestants stood in the plane lobby. “Guten tag!” Chris said, coming out in lederhosen.
“Does anyone have any eye bleach I could use?” Noah asked.
“Welcome to the German Alps!” Chris grinned. “These beautiful snowy mountains are where today’s challenges will take place!”
Sierra (CONF): OMG, Germany! I’m like a quarter german! I’m so happy after Transylvania we’re going somewhere fun! Nothing bad’s ever happened here!
“So what ARE today’s challenges?” Trent asked.
“And why aren’t you telling us them when we land like normal?” Eva asked.
“Well, you see, this is avalanche country so we can’t really land…which brings us to your first challenge!” Chris grinned, and threw a walkie-talkie at Ezekiel, which promptly hit him in the face.
“Ow!” Ezekiel said.
“Oh, I wouldn’t be saying ow now. Since we can’t land….” Chris pulled a lever, the floor dropped out, and all 19 contestants fell out of the plane screaming.
“Leshawna, if this is where we die, I just want to say--” Harold began as everyone fell out of the plane.
Alejandro pushed Harold to fall further downwards “...I just want to say that you look ravishing today, Leshawna. Gorgeous as always.” Alejandro smiled.
Leshawna (CONF): That Alejandro is FINE. As for Harold...well, let’s just say him being pushed down did NOT affect Leshawna.
“I love you!” Bridgette called to Geoff.
“I love you too!” Geoff called to Bridgette.
“Get a room!” Justin said, falling below them. All 19 contestants landed in an incredibly soft snow bank, not feeling the impact of the fall at all.
“That feels nice, eh!” Ezekiel commented, causing the entire mountain to shake. Everyone glared at him as the walkie-talkie turned on.
“That brings us to your first challenge. Any loud noises will set off a huge avalanche here, which is why yours truly is landing the plane somewhere safe.” Chris smugly informed the contestants. “And as for you guys….”
“Really?” Noah whispered.
“Hope some of you can be piano instead of fortissimo. See ya!” The light on the walkie talkie turned off.
All: Keep it down so we can win the loot!
Sadie: (turning to Heather) Talk just once, and you’re getting the boot!
Harold: Boot on, but you’re still out of luck! You suck the lemon chuck!
Justin: Wait til you’re voted out for being such a lout!
Ezekiel: We’ll dance a jig when Chris shoves you off the plane.
Alejandro: (turning to Leshawna and dancing with her) When you don’t hold back and lead the pack, truly there is nothing stopping you, you you.
Leshawna: Swimming in your eyes is butterflies and suddenly there’s nothing I can’t do! *turns to camera* Sorry mom!
Heather: *turns to team rousingly* Hey, something’s itching in my brain! Our team can win the game! Yes--
“HEY LOOK, A BIRD!” Ezekiel called, pointing at a dove flying above the cast. Suddenly, the mountain shook uncontrollably, and snow and ice sent the entire cast tumbling down the mountain.
Heather (CONF): Really? When he rallies his team he gets claps, when I do I get interrupted by a homeschooled boy and trapped in an avalanche!
“Nice going EZEKIEL.” Harold scoffed. “The next boot should be easy.”
“Really, I think there are OTHER targets.” Justin stared at Bridgette.
“Yeah, SOME people need to go.” Leshawna looked at Harold.
DJ (CONF): Sometimes I feel like my team might be just a biiit unstable.
“Welcome to Germany, contestants!” Chris grinned. “Land of chocolate, ice, and lots of scary people. Today’s first challenge is called Total...Drama...Sausage!”
“Doing well on the non-suggestive front I see.” Noah rolled his eyes.
“Each team will get about 15 pounds of raw meat. You’ll have to process it through the official Total Drama meat grinder!” Chris brought out a meat grinder with his face on it.
Noah (CONF): This is ridiculous. Chris is so transparent and dumb. *smiles* But you know what's not dumb? The Total Drama meat grinder, only 50 dollars in stores now! *resumes frowning* Sorry, that's in my contract.
“You'll have to mold that meat into a big juicy sausage!” Chris grinned.
“You are….not making this better for yourself.” Trent said.
“Yeah, whatever. After you make the sausage, you race down the mountain. First team down the mountain wins an advantage in part 2.” Chris announced. “Get molding!”
Heather stood in front of the meat grinder. “Alright team, who’s ready to win and kick some Failure and Chris butts!” Heather encouraged. No one on Team Cody moved an inch.
Sadie pushed Heather out of the way. “WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? We have a CHALLENGE to do! Start grinding!” Sadie ordered. The rest of Team Cody immediately began working.
Heather (CONF): Okay, now they listen to SADIE over me?
“Okay guys, we need to stop making googoo eyes at the OTHER team and start making some sausages!” Harold declared to Team Failure..
“Um, no one’s making googoo eyes at ANYONE, skinny.” Leshawna glared at Harold.
“Really, because as I recall a CERTAIN SOMEONE--” Harold began.
“I don’t care about your relationship drama. Start grinding!” Eva declared, shoving the meat into the grinder.
Harold (CONF): Leshawna flirting with Alejandro RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME is just so…..gosh! Women now. Remember when all you had to do was scale a tower and slay a dragon? Those were the days.
“Ugh, this is dumb.” Noah complained, shoving meat into the grinder.
“I think you just need to get the hang of it, amigo.” Alejandro said, as he effortlessly shoved meat in and it came out perfectly.
“Woah, Al.” Trent smiled.
“That was awesome!” Geoff grinned.
“You somehow made Noah look WORSE then he normally does!” Duncan chuckled.
Noah (Cockpit CONF): Okay, so apparently shoving meat into grinders isn’t my thing. And maybe Alejandro has a lot of special skills, but I have special skills too!
“Like what?” Chef questioned.
“Well...complaining about Alejandro. That counts, right?” Noah questioned.
Geoff shoved some meat into the grinder, and then looked over at Bridgette who was doing the same thing at Team Failures. The two stared at each other, and then walked over and began to make out passionately. Alejandro grabbed Geoff and pulled him back to Team Chris’s station.
“You must focus, compadre. I know that there are some beautiful women here--” Alejandro paused to wink at Leshawna, who blushed. “But you must be strong and not give into temptation.”
“Yeah, I get it. It’s just that we’ve been apart for so long…” Geoff said.
“It’s been 3 days, friend.” Alejandro said, with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, the longest three days of my life!” Geoff cried indignantly. “You’re right...I’m focusing on my team from now on!”
Geoff (CONF): Alejandro’s such a good leader. Him telling me not to think about Bridgette is great advice, and I’m really following it!
Bridgette knocked on the confessional door, then opened it and began making out passionately with Geoff.
“You’ve got 5 minutes! Better start molding!” Chris yelled over the loudspeaker.
“Alright, who wants to mold. I think I should supervise.” Heather said.
“Um, you? I’m the one with CIT experience here!” Courtney argued.
“I’m the team’s LEADER!” Sadie challenged.
“Well Cody was the leader before anyone!” Sierra cried.
“Sierra, if you’re so eager, you could go ahead on and do it…” Cody said, trying to slip as far into the background as he could.
“Oh my god, I just finished it, you psychos!” Gwen yelled, walking in front of her perfectly crafted sausage.
“Good work, Gwen.” Courtney smiled.
“Could have been better work if I supervised it!” Sadie cried.
Gwen (CONF): Me doing something helpful for the team? Courtney complimenting me? SADIE leading us? Did I slip onto an episode of the Twilight Zone?
“This is...pathetic,” Eva said, looking at their sausage.
“Goodbye first class….” Harold lamented.
“Goodbye gourmet meals…” DJ sighed.
“Goodbye pedicures…” Justin sounded on the verge of tears.
“Guys! Chris never specified the shape the sausage has to be in!” Bridgette cried. She jjumped on and flattened their sausage. “We’re not riding down- we’re surfing!”
“Good job, Bridgette!” Eva clapped.
“Wow, I think that’s first nice thing I’ve heard you say.” Justin commented. “Like, ever.”
Bridgette (CONF): People think I’m just Geoff’s arm candy, but I am so much more! I am a PLAYER in this game. Me and Geoff can do well seperately!
Geoff knocked on the confessional door and entered and him and Bridgette began to passionately make out.
“You know...our sausage is not looking too thick.” Trent said, looking down.
“Dude, phrasing.” Duncan said.
“Let me attempt to remedy.” Alejandro grabbed the sausge and molded into a perfect shape. His team clapped.
Noah (CONF): WhatEVER. I can play with sausages too, y’know. NOT like that…strictly in a challenge sense!
The teams were lined up with their sausages on display. “Team Cody, looking good. Team Failure, don’t really know what’s going on there. Looking a little soft. Team Chris, nice and big! That’s what I like to see.” Chris smiled. “Ready to race em?”
“I was born ready!” Tyler cried. “EXTREME!” He pumped his fist, but somehow slipped and rolled all the way down the mountain, landing flat on his face on the cold hard ice at the bottom.
“I’m good!” he called up to his team.
“Alright teams...on your marks, get ready, sausage!” Chris cried. The three teams began racing.
Cody’s Angels got out to an early lead. “Alright, team! We’re doing great!” Gwen cheered. She was then hit in the face by a tree branch. “That doesn’t even make geographical sense!”
“Did I forget to mention the obstacles?” Chris called. “Cause there’s that.”
“This surfing idea was great, Bridgette!” DJ said as Team Failure barreled down the mountain towards the finish line.
DJ saw a baby goat and picked up. “Awww...cute….I’m gonna name you Gertrude.” he smiled. Chris threw a block of ice at it. “Gertrude!”
The goat landed and began to walk away. “Watch out for that rock!” Duncan yelled, and steered Team Chris’s sausage directly into the goat.
“WHYYYYYYYY?” DJ cried.
Team Failure surfed down the finish line. “Yes!” Bridgette cheered. Team Cody slid in after, and Team Chris in last.
“Team Failure wins part 1!” Chris announced. Six of the team members cheered, but DJ was still mourning.
“She was so young...mama…” DJ sobbed. Eva slapped him in the face.
“Be a man!” she ordered.
“Second is not good enough. We need to WIN!” Sadie cried.
Sadie (CONF): I’m soooo happy Alejandro gave me the confidence I needed! I think my team is really starting to respect me!
Cody (CONF): Yeah, Sadie’s horrifying. And I hang out with Sierra.
“Congratulations on your win, my lady. I’m sure many more are in store.” Alejandro smiled at Leshawna.
“Oh, sugar.” Leshawna grinned back. Harold seethed a few feet away.
“Now, it’s time for part two. De slap slap revolution!” Chris announced.
“The say what now?” Leshawna questioned.
“You’ll each be on one of those dance pad...thingies.” Chris said, staring up at the dance pads that were 20 feet off the ground. ‘You’ll have to slap your opponent from the other team off. And I’d watch out for the electrical shocks...they can be a REAL bummer. Team Failure, since you won part 1, all of your team competes. Only 5 Team Cody’s get to play, and a measly 4 from Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really disappointed in your performance. Pick your players!”
“Okay, so one of us has to sit out.” Gwen said.
“I think it should be Cody. I don’t know if he can take it, my little snuggy bunny!” Sierra squeezed Cody until he sounded like he was about to choke.
“Um, why are we sitting out the only guy on our team?” Courtney questioned.
“Women are just as strong as men. Stop living in the past, Courtney.” Heather smiled. Courtney flipped her off.
“I’m the leader, and what I say GOES. Cody’s not playing.” Sadie declared.
“So, I don’t think Tyler’s in any position to play.” Duncan said, looking down to the floor.
“Extreme!” Tyler yelled to no one in particular.
“Noah, you are more...petite than the rest of us. Why not take this rest, compadre.” Alejandro said.
“No, I’m competing.” Noah declared.
“I’m fine with sitting out, bro.” Geoff said, sitting down.
“Very well then.” Alejandro said, glancing at Noah.
Noah (CONF): Al thinks I’m a weak physical competitor, and I’m gonna prove him wrong! Only problem is...I am a weak physical competitor.
The contestants stood up on the dance pads, paired off. “Ready...set...dance fight!” Chris announced.
Harold was paired off with Gwen and they were doing the steps. “You don’t want me to use my mad skills against you. I went to Boogie Steve’s Dancing Camp.” Harold said proudly. “You might as well give up now.”
Gwen kicked him off the platform. “Or I could just do that!”
“Where’s your respect for the art? Gosh!” Harold cried.
Bridgette and Heather danced. “Hey Bridgette, don’t you want to be down there...with your dear boyfriend Geoff?” Heather said, looking compassionate.
“No, I’d rather win for my team!” Bridgette declared.
“Ugh, I wanted this to be easy.” Heather complained. The two got into a slap fight until Bridgette eventually fell off.
“Don’t mess with me, homes! I’m from the hood, yo!” Ezekiel yelled at Trent, who he was dancing with. “I grew up on the STREETS!”
“Weren’t you homeschooled on a farm?” Trent replied quizzicallly.
“Yes, BUT...that’s not the point here!” Ezekiel cried. Trent hit him off with just one touch.
Leshawna danced with Duncan. “Hah, this should be easy.” Duncan chuckled.
“I’m rooting for you!” Alejandro called to both.
“Hey, thanks ma--” Duncan began. Leshawna knocked him off the platform.
“He was talking to ME!” she yelled
Duncan (CONF): A. Since when is Alejandro and Leshawna a thing, and B. Since when is Leshawna a total psycho?
“As a CIT, I know how to legally paralyze a man in five different ways!” Courtney threatened, dancing with DJ.
“Why do you need to know that?” DJ questioned. Courtney stopped in thought.
“I don’t really know.” Courtney and DJ stared off in deep thought for a good amount of time, then she grabbed his neck and shoved it down.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” DJ screamed.
“This is #3!” Courtney informed.
DJ (CONF) *neck brace on, crying* I…*sniffles* hate this show….
Sierra danced with Noah. She got into the rhythm and began to sing.
Sierra: 1, 2, 3, slap my knee! My husband to be, his name is Cody! 4, 5, 6, pick up sticks! My heart won’t tick without my cody fix! 7 8 9, straighten your spine! Spin to see Cody looking so FINE! 10, 11, 12, nothing rhymes with twelve. Chicks want Cody but his butt’s MINE! Cody stared on in horror.
Cody (CONF): It was flattering...then it got weird...and now I want to her get voted out VERY soon!
“Hey, Sierra...look at Cody...on the ground...sad...alone...with no one to talk to him…” Noah said, looking sadly on the skinny boy.
“You’re right! How could I ask to compete without him? I’M COMING CODY!” Sierra lept off the platform and embraced Cody in a bone-crushing round.
Noah (CONF): I won a round! I didn’t do any actual fighting, but I won a round!
Sadie danced feverishly. “Ooh, I love this game!” she squealed. “I mean….I’ll crush you!” she changed her demeanor to be threatening. Eva picked her up and threw her off the platform.
Sadie (CONF) *black eye* Leading is hard….
Justin and Alejandro danced. “Ah...so here it is…mano y mano, hot guy y hot guy.” Justin said.
“My friend….” Alejandro leaned in to whisper “...we are not evne in the same league.” He slapped Justin off and sent him flying into the snow.
“My face! My glorious face!” Justin cried.
Justin (CONF): Not on the same level? NOT ON THE SAME LEVEL? Ladies and gentlemen, I think I just found my next TARGET! After Bridgette...and Harold...I need to start having less vendettas, huh?
“Alrighty then! Gwen, Heather, Courtney, Leshawna, Eva, Al, Noah, and Trent move on to the next round.” Chris announced. “New matchups!”
Gwen danced with Leshawna “Man, this season’s crazy, huh?” Gwen laughed.
“You’re telling me.” Leshawna chuckled.
“Remember when this show had challenges like ‘put on a talent show’? Now it’s slap each other on a giant platform in Germany.” Gwen rolled her eyes as Leshawna laughed. “And the newbies...Sierra’s crazy, and Alejandro’s so--”
“Don’t be talkin about ALEJANDRO!” Leshawna yelled, slapping Gwen off the platform angrily.
Gwen (CONF): Okay Leshawna, I’m pretty sure one of the rules of friendship is don’t slap your friend over a random boy!
Noah squared off with Heather. “Ugh…” Heather groaned, looking at Leshawna flirting with Alejandro.
“I know, right? Way to be subtle.” Noah scoffed.
“They make me sick.” Heather complained. Noah tripped Heather as she danced, and she fell into the snow.
Heather (CONF): How dare he use complaining against me! That’s my favorite pastime!
Alejandro squared off with Courtney. “You look lovely, muchacha.” Alejandro smiled.
“Don’t compliment me!” Courtney cried. “I know 5 ways to paralyze a man!”
“And you won’t need to use any of them. I’m rooting for your team. Hit me and I’ll fall off.” Alejandro whispered.
“Really?” Courtney questioned. She lightly touched him and he fell. “Thanks, I guess.”
Courtney (CONF): Alejandro falling off was so gentlemanly...but I won’t get soft because of it! But it WAS a nice gesture...it’s good to know SOMEONE’S kind on this show!
Alejandro (CONF): Courtney’s a strong competitor. I would rather have her as a friend than an enemy...for now. *smirks*
“And that’s one Cody, one Chris, and one Failure in the finals! Who will be the last one to join the--” Chris began.
“AHHHHHH!” Trent flew through the air into a snow bank. Eva licked her lips.
“Well, that’s another failure.” Chris chuckled. “Time for the finals!”
The four remaining contestants stood on one large dance pad. “This is...strange.” Noah said.
“Yes. Yes, it is.” Chris agreed. “The four of you will fight in a no holds barred melee. Last team with a member standing is flying first class. First team to lose all their members is going to elimination, where one of your members is going to learn a lot about german culture.” Chris chuckled.
“Go!” Chris blew the airhorn.
“Let’s get her.” Leshawna grinned as her and Eva walked towards Courtney.
“Noah, hang back and let them duke it out.” Alejandro called.
“Thanks, but shockingly I DO have a brain that can function without your help.” Noah called back. Leshawna turned back.
“Are you sassing MY Alejandro?” Leshawna questioned. “MINE?” Leshawna jumped on Noah and began slapping him viciously, so much that his tooth flew out and landed in Trent’s hand.
“Ooh, gnarly.” Duncan chuckled.
Eva picked Courtney up. “Let go of me! As a CIT I learned five different ways to paralyze a--” Eva threw her into a snow bank.
Leshawna was still slapping Noah until Eva ran over and tried to pull her off. “What’s the matter with you?” she questioned. Leshawna let go but it caused both girls to fly off the platform.
“AND THAT’S A FIRST CLASS TRIP FOR TEAM CHRIS!” Chris grinned.
“Ahy did it? Ahy did it!” Noah smiled.
“That was awesome, bro!” Geoff smiled.
“Ihs everyting spinning or is that just meh?” Noah said, before passing out.
“Team Failure may need to get their crap together,” The team all glared at Leshawna. “But they are NOT going to elimination. As for Team Cody...yet another one of you is taking the drop of shame tonight. FIgure out who it is.”
Leshawna (CONF): I feel terrible for what I did to Noah...you know...I can’t believe I went to that length for Alejandro! Sure he’s cute, but he didn’t even talk to me afterwards! Maybe HE’s the snake and not Bridgette...
Gwen, Heather, and Courtney sat in loser class sighing. “Who should go home?” Gwen questioned.
“It HAS to be Sadie. She can NOT lead this team. End of discussion.” Heather said, walking away.
“Way to be democratic.” Courtney rolled her eyes.
Sadie ran up to Gwen and Courtney. “It HAS to be Heather. Haven’t you both like, hated her for two seasons? This is your chance to send her home! Do it!” Sadie ordered and then skipped off. “I’m so good at this game.”
“Which dictator do we take out?” Gwen questioned.
“I don’t know.” Courtney shrugged. “I never thought I’d be flying over Germany discussing strategy with Gwen, but here we are.”
Cody ran up to Gwen and Courtney. “Hello, ladies.” he said, as suavely as he could be.
“What do you WANT?” Courtney questioned.
“Woah, hold the aggression.” Cody said. “I’m just saying, instead of pissing off one of the leaders, there’s always someone else we could boot….” The camera panned to Sierra, staring at Bridgette and taking notes for her blog.
At the elimination ceremony, Team Cody sat dejectedly. “Wow, congrats guys. You’ll officially be the worst team in the game after this vote! I hope you’re proud.” Chris grinned. “Go vote.”
Heather (CONF): *stamps Sadie’s passport* I’M the leader.
Sadie (CONF): *stamps Heather’s passport* I’M the leader. *squeals* Having confidence is sooooo fetch!
Cody (CONF): *stamps Sierra’s passport* Pleeeeease go home. Pleeeeeeease. For my sake.
Gwen (CONF): *stamps passport pensively*
“Alright. Votes are in. Barfbags for...Gwen!” Chris threw a bag at the goth, which she caught happily. “Courtney and Cody are also safe.”
The bottom 3 sat nervously. “Sadie, you’re newly obnoxious. Heather, you’ve always been obnoxious. And Sierra….yikes. The person going home tonight is….
Sadie!” Chris threw barfbags to Heather and Courtney.
“Aww, but I thought I was doing good. I guess I shouldn’t have confidence in myself and lead.” Sadie frowned.
“No, you should! Just...not in this context!” Gwen smiled fakely.
“I guess my life goals should always to be an indistinguishable part of a shallow pair!” Sadie smiled.
“I really don’t think that’s the takeaway here.” Courtney said, attempting ot be encouraging.
“Welp, back to being part of a group that no one in the fanbase cares about. Bye!” Sadie said, jumping out of the plane.
“Well that was….depressing.” Chris said nonchalantly, before turning to the camera. “There’s 18 left, and it’s anyone’s game! Who’s taking a trip out of a plane next. Find out next time on Total….Drama….World Tour!”
Chapter Eight- The Am-AH-Zon Race
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our contestants said guten tag to Germany! Leshawna fell under Alejandro’s spell, big time. And Noah proved his worth to his team...and it only cost him a tooth, and all of his dignity. And on Team Cody, Sadie’s newfound confidence under Alejandro was nice, but her new leadership plans certainly weren’t, leading her to get the boot! Now, there are 18 people left, and our next location is sure to drive them bananas! Who will get in a rumble in the jungle? And who will be the next drop-ee? Find out, right here, right now on Total...Drama...World Tour!”
Team Chris sat in first class. “This is excellent, friends! I’m so proud of us.” Alejandro smiled while eating chocolates.
“Yeah, this is awesome, dudes!” Geoff griinned.
“Thanks for taking one for the team, Noah!” Tyler said to an in-pain Noah, who was treating his injuries.
“Thanks. I can’t feel my face, but thanks.” Noah mumbled.
Alejandro (CONF): Noah winning for us was terrible for my game. He’s my next target, and now the team thinks he’s worth something. So my mission today has to be to ensure that HE’S the one who messes up the challenge for us. *laughs*
Team Failure sat 6 in a row, with Leshawna on the very end. “So can someone fill me in on why we’re not talking to Leshawna?” DJ questioned.
“Because she almost killed someone for a boy. I’m super hot, and no girl’s done that for me.” Justin stated.
Justin (CONF): Leshawna finding Alejandro so hot that she beat up Noah was super funny. But also concerning. I’M the hot one, and him being that good to get her to do anything for him. Threat. They’re both going on my target list.
Justin wrote Alejandro and Leshawna’s names over Harold and Bridgette’s. “I really should cut this down, huh?
Leshawna sat on the end of the bench. “So, Eva, how’s your li--” Eva stood up and walked away as Leshawna sighed.
Leshawna (CONF): I feel AWFUL. I can’t believe I let myself get that crazy over a BOY. And poor Harold….even though me and that boy are NOT together, I know how much it probably hurt him. I think he’s taking it well, at least.
Harold (CONF): *crying*
Cody’s Angels sat in loser class. Sierra clutched Cody as Gwen, Heather, and Courtney all slept. A rat fell from the ceiling into Gwen’s mouth. “Ugh, gross!” she complained.
Gwen (CONF): You know, I thought maybe this season would go better than last, but I’m stuck with a stalker, a witch, the bossiest person you’ll EVER meet, and Cody. The drop of shame isn’t looking too bad right now!
“Okay team, we need to WIN today. And I’m not talking about that second place bullcrap. We need to get FIRST place.” Heather ordered.
“Who made you the queen?” Courtney questioned.
“I did. And I’d reccomend you listen to me, unless you want to follow Sadie.” Heather smiled. Courtney stuck her tongue out.
Courtney (CONF): I’d like to remind Heather that we are in an ALLIANCE. Alliances are a democracy! I think that she needs to start caring about MY opinion.
Heather (CONF): I don’t care about Courtney’s opinion.
The contestants exited the plain, into an extremely humid jungle.
“Oh great, another place where I can get life-threatening injuries!” Noah rolled his eyes, then tripped over a step getting off the plane and faceplanted.
Noah (CONF): When did I become Tyler?
Tyler did a flip out of the plane “EXTREEEEEEEME!” he cried, and then crashed straight into a tree.
“Just can’t beat the original.” Noah smirked as Tyler slid down the tree.
“Where are we? It’s like a thousand degrees!” Heather complained.
“Welcome to Brazil! AKA, The Amazon rainforest!” Chris announced.
“The Amazon! So many pretty animals….” DJ sighed happily. A monkey then jumped down from a tree and began punching him in the face.
“Anyway, today’s challenge is a marathon!” Chris grinned as the cast looked on in shock.
“You HAVE to be kidding me.” Gwen said in disbelief.
“Nope! You’ll spend all day and night crossing the Amazon, filled with dangerous natives AND dangerous animals all the way across the border to Machu Pichu, Peru!” Chris laughed.
“Aw man, this’ll be easy! I run cross country!” Tyler flexed.
“Tyler….that’s not what cross country means.” Trent sighed.
“It isn’t? Woah….I always wondered why the US looked just like Canada.” Tyler said.
Chris threw supplies at the teams. “There’s your map and compass! First team to get to Peru rides first class, and last team to get there has a date with me at elimination, where one of you will get to skydive for the first time!” Chris chuckled.
“Um, yeah, I sort of have life-threatening allergies. Can I get an epipen or something?” Cody asked.
“Do you know what show you’re on?” Chris asked, and then blew the airhorn. “Go!”
All three teams raced for about two minutes, before finding a fork in the road. “Which way do we go?” Geoff asked.
“As team leader of Team Cody, I believe we should go rig-” Courtney began.
“We’re going left!” Heather announced, and the rest of her team followed her.
Courtney (Cockpit CONF): WHY are they listening to her? Did she take a direction and path-taking course as a CIT? I didn’t think so!
Chef stared at her.
“What! It was a very thorough camp!” Courtney defended.
“Traveling in groups is safer.” Alejandro said to his team.
“And if it ends up being the wrong way, we can still beat the chicks.” Duncan pointed out. Team Chris shrugged and began running left.
“If they both go left and we go right, we have a 66 percent chance of winning!” Justin smiled. “Math.”
Bridgette (CONF): At least he’s pretty!
Team Failure walked slowly. “Um, pick up the PACE people. We need to WIN!” Heather yelled.
“‘It’s not a race, it’s a MARATHON. You have to pace yourself.” Courtney commented.
“You know what you do in both a race AND a marathon? Run.” Heather said, completely deadpan. Courtney rolled her eyes.
A mosquito flew by Cody. “AAAAAAH!” he screamed, and jumped into Sierra’s arms.
Cody (Cockpit CONF): You know, I’m pretty brave about most things but...I’m like super allergic to bee stings and bug bites. And they may….sorta...kinda...horrify me.
“I’m sorry, did you just say you were brave?” Chef questioned, and then began laughing hysterically. Cody sighed.
“Not every bug that flies by has malaria, Cody.” Gwen chuckled.
“Don’t worry Cody, if you get bitten, I’ll be your epipen!” Sierra smiled and then whispered in his ear. “I’ll INSERT myself in you”
Sierra (CONF): I have to start making moves on Cody! A rainforest is like….the perfect place for love! That’s a thing right?
Cody (CONF): At first, having Sierra was cool. A girl who likes me? And I didn’t have to pay for her? Sweet, right! But she’s a total creep! Last night, I woke up and she was sniffing my SHOE.
Team Chris walked at a leisurely pace. “Shouldn’t we like, try and pass the girls?” Tyler questioned.
“Not right now, compadre. Slow and steady wins the race, you know.” Alejandro said. Tyler shrugged.
“No, I think Tyler’s right. We should get moving! Come on boys!” Noah announced, and he and Tyler began running. Geoff followed, and Duncan and Trent shrugged and went on after them. Alejandro scowled.
Alejandro (CONF): How dare that little nuisance undermine MY leadership! If this were real life I could easily smash his face in and dispose of him...but sadly, here I have to be more cunning than that. But he WILL get his….believe me!
Noah (CONF): Undermining Alejandro was easily the best part of my day….maybe of the whole game! Now I just have to turn my team against him….which shouldn’t be difficult considering my team.
“Alejandro’s being a bit of a buzzkill by not running with us…..jocks, huh?” Noah cringed.
“Nah, Al’s probably just conserving energy, he could crush you in running, easy!” Tyler smiled.
“This running seems out of character for Noah, no? He doesn’t seem like the type.” Alejandro commented to Duncan.
“I prefer athletic Noah to annoying, whiny Noah any day.” Duncan shrugged.
Duncan (CONF): To be perfectly honest, I think Alejandro is slimy. I mean, I hate Noah too, but it’s a familiar hate. Alejandro...I just don’t trust the guy.
Team Failure walked along the right path. “Are you sure we’re going the right way?” Bridgette asked. Justin shrugged
“Let me see the map.” Leshawna ordered DJ.
“All the map has on it is “Step 1. Go to Macchu Picchu. Step 2. Win.” DJ looked at it closer, btu there was nothing else on it.
“No worries, Bridge, if anything comes for you, I’ll fight it off!” Ezekiel promised.
“Thanks, Zeke!” Bridgette smiled.
Leshawna took Bridgette aside. “Are you seriously flirting with ANOTHER boy?” Leshawna asked.
“What are you talking about?” Bridgette questioned.
“He’s obviously into you!” Leshawna said.
“Who?” Bridgette asked, still confounded.
“Girl, are you a banana short of a bunch? EZEKIEL!” Leshawna sighed.
Bridgette stared. “Ezekiel? Ew!” she said.
“Exactly! Why are you humoring him?” Leshawna questioned.
“I’m not! Well, not in that way! He’s just...nice!” Bridgette defended. “And are you in a position to give ME relationship advice?”
“What happens to me and my relationships is not relevant to this conversation!” Leshawna defended.
“Leshawna, can you stop slandering my name and get going!” Harold called. Leshawna flipped him off.
“Come on guys, let’s stop fighting and be positive! We can do it! Let’s go!” DJ smiled and began running forward. Five men in masks appeared out of the bushes with spears in their hands. DJ fainted.
Team Cody and Team Chris both arrived at a giant zipline, with Chris standing at the platform. “Hey kids! Guess what you’re doing next!” he grinned.
Heather (CONF): I hate this show.
“And just in case you were wondering, no, you can’t advance until EVERY member of your team is across.” Chris added. “Have fun.”
“I took a ziplining course as a CIT. Just follow my lead, and we will claim victor--” Courtney was interrupted by Sierra rushing by, cradling Cody with one hand and ziplining down with the other.
Cody’s face landed in the water and was viciously bitten by pirahnas. “LAY OFF MY CODY!” Sierra yelled, and began throwing the fish, that landed on Noah and Tyler and began biting them. Sierra and Cody landed on the finish platform.
Cody (CONF): Yeah, I’m REALLY over this whole Sierra thing.
Trent grabbed the zipline and Tyler jumped on it with him. “EXTREEEME!” Tyler yelled, propelling the zipline to incredible speed and sending both flying into a tree.
“I’m okay!” Tyler gave a thumbs up.
“I’m not.” Trent groaned.
“This is MY zipline. Get your own!” Heather yelled at Courtney.
“Um, it’s actually MY zipline!” Courtney said. “I was here first!”
“Well I was here LAST!” Heather fired back.
“That doesn’t even make sense!” Courtney attempted to wrestle the bar from Heather’s hands. Gwen sighed and kicked both of them off the platform, sending them careening with the zipline and both ending up in the piranha infested water.
“Heh, nice one.” Duncan fistbumped Gwen. Courtney glared from the water. “I mean, oh no!” Duncan feigned worry and got on the zipline to save her.
Alejandro got a running start and bounded from the opening platform to the ending one.
Noah (CONF): That’s not even physically possible!
“That’s a great idea!” Geoff grinned, and then jumped straight into the water.
“Geoff, no!” Trent called. Everyone was silent for a few seconds, until Geoff emerged, with pirahnas futilely biting his pecs.
Geoff (CONF): I guess my bod’s so chiseled the pirahnas couldn’t cut through it! That’s why you never skip chest day.
Gwen grabbed the zipline bar and started going, but the bar broke off halfway through.
“Well that’s just great.” Gwen sighed and swam away from the piranhas.
Noah stared down at the water. “This is gonna suck.” he sighed.
Noah (CONF) (piranhas biting all over him) I hate this show.
Team Failure is tied up against a tree. “Who are you?” Eva asked.
The Zing-Zings responded in a foreign language “Don’t know why I asked.” Eva rolled her eyes.
“Right path was really a good choice, HUH?” Leshawna glared at Justin.
“At least I don’t emotionally abuse poor souls.” Justin said, putting his hand on Harold’s shoulder.
“Don’t you hate me?” Harold questioned. Justin shrugged.
Chris walked by the tied up-teens. “Hey, guys!” he said.
“Thank god, you’re here to save us!” Bridgette let out a sigh of relief.
“Hahaha, no I’m not!” Chris grinned. “If someone gets impaled, call me. But up until then, this is awesome TV! And for good measure…”
“Really?” Bridgette questioned.
“Um, yeah! Gotta preserve the drama for all it’s worth. And how to do that better then a Team Failure solo?” Chris chuckled.
Bridgette: We should’ve just gone left, we wouldn’t be in this mess!
Leshawna: I said so too, then Justin went and lead us to our end!
Harold: And as we’re getting bitten….
DJ (crying): Our obituary’s written!
Eva: Oh, what will we do then!
Ezekiel: Tied up rope is no joke, spears in our face, get us out of this place! Ain’t really what I anticipated, probably means Justin’s eliminated! Yeah, he’s out.
Justin: Out. Ooooh yeah, yeah- wait hey!
“I wonder if our song made them like us?” DJ questioned. “Hey, Zing-Zings, did you like that?”
They raised their spears back up at Team Failure. DJ fainted again.
Team Cody set down camp for the night around a campfire. “We are waking up at 6 AM sharp to beat Team Chris.” Courtney announced.
“Take a chill pill, Courtney.” Gwen said.
“Yeah. I’d think you’d want to walk to the finish line hand in hand with your boyfriend Duncan.” Heather mocked and laughed.
“I do, actually!” Courtney insisted. “It’s just I care about my team more!”
“You don’t have to pretend you don’t like him.” Gwen chuckled.
“Yeah, if I had a boyfriend here, I’d be rubbing it in both of your faces!” Heather stated.
“You do have a boyfriend here. We see the faces you make at ALEJANDRO.” Gwen laughed.
“Alejandro? Are you kidding me? I do not-I would never-I can’t-he is the most-I don’t even know who he is!” Heather stammered. Gwen and Courtney laughed hysterically.
“Al and Heather sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Gwen and Courtney mocked.
“I have a boyfriend here too!” Sierra exclaimed. “His name is Cody-wody and he is beautiful and I love him and he’s the cutest person ever!”
Sierra inched closer to Cody. “It’s just you and me Cody….you and me together...forever…” Sierra licked Cody’s face.
“Okay, okay, I’m done! Stop crawling next to me at night, stop taking my things and most of all, STOP TALKING TO ME!” Cody screamed. Sierra’s jaw dropped.
Cody (CONF): Okay, so maybe that was a liiiiiittle bit harsh.
Team Cody sat in silence until something green doused their fire. They looked around at each other and then turned behind them and saw giant green caterpillars.
“Well, this is just great.” Gwen said, as a caterpillar lunged.
Team Chris had also settled down for the night, all sleeping peacefully, except for one.
Alejandro (CONF): Noah is trying to be the proactive and approachable leader of the team and get me eliminated. And while I applaud his effort. It simply isn’t going to work.
Alejandro grabbed a banana from a tree, and placed it gingerly inside Noah’s sleeping bag. Monkeys began to swarm and attack Team Chris.
The next morning, all of Team Chris woke up with bumps and bruises all over. “Man, what was with those monkeys last night?” Trent asked.
“I know, dude. Gave me total bedhead! Luckily I never take off my hat.” Geoff smiled.
“Noah, what’s that by your sleeping bag?” Alejandro questioned. The team looked down and saw a banana.
“That must be what attracted all the monkeys!” Tyler gasped.
“Smuggling food, dude? Not cool.” Duncan rolled his eyes.
Noah (CONF): Oh...he’s good.
Team Failure was still tied to a tree. DJ was writing in a notebook. “To my fish, I leave all of the fish food. To my dog, I leave all of the dog food. To my rabbit, I leave--”
“We’ve been tied here for a day and you’re writing your WILL?” Leshawna questioned with an eyebrow raised. DJ shrugged.
The Zing-Zings said something referring to Team Failure, then laughed heartily.
“Hey, that’s not cool yo! You can’t call us that!” Ezekiel argued.
“Call us what?” Justin questioned.
“You can understand them?” Bridgette asked incredulously.
“Yeah, eh! I speak like sixteen languages.” Ezekiel spoke with pride.
“Why didn’t you say this earlier?” Justin asked.
“I don’t care! We’re not gonna die!” DJ began crying tears of joy.
“Ezekiel, I could kiss you right now!” Bridgette esclaimed. Leshawna stared at her.
Bridgette (CONF): I’m not flirting! I’m just a nice person!
The Zing-Zings said something else, and Zeke translated. “Apparently, they like you, eh.” he said, gesturing to Eva.
“You can have her! We don’t need her!” Justin exclaimed. Eva glared at the pretty boy.
“They want to perform their ‘queening ceremony’ on Eva!” Ezekiel told the rest of his team.
“Tell them they can, IF they let us go free.” Eva announced
“Okay!” Ezekiel translated to them. The Zing-Zings stared at each other, untied Team Failure and ran off crying.
“Maybe they didn’t want the queening ceremony.” Ezekiel shrugged.
Team Chris arrived at the steps of Macchu Picchu. “Alright boys, it’s time to win this thing!” Tyler announced. “EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME!” . The camera cut to Tyler slowly staggering up the last few stairs and faceplanting. “I didn’t realize there were so many steps.” he sighed. The rest of Team Chris finished trudging up the steps. “Congratulations Team Me, you’re first place and will be riding first class!” Chris announced. The team cheered.
Alejandro (CONF): So Noah will not be leaving this week...well, there’s always next. And after the banana incident, it may be sooner than later.
Chris and Team Chris sat in the boiling hot sun. “Can the rest of them hurry up, or can we go in the plane?” Duncan questioned.
“No...we have to wait out here...it’s for….the drama….” Chris muttered.
“AAAAHHHHH!” Heather screamed, running towards the steps. The rest of Team Cody followed, still being followed by the caterpillars. Team Failure followed from the other side.
“So the two paths lead to the exact same place?” Trent asked, in disbelief.
“Yeah, basically.” Chris shrugged.
The two teams ran as one group as they raced to the top. A caterpillar picked up DJ and threw him into the rest of Team Cody and Team Failure, sending them all careening over the finish line.
“I want my mommy!” DJ cried.
The contestants all stood together at Macchu Picchu. “Wow...today’s challenge featured cowardice, meltdowns, kidnapping, and near-death experiences….can you say AWESOME!” Chris chuckled. “But, no matter how awesome, there still has to be a loser. And in the spirit of ties, BOTH Team Cody and Team Failure are going to elimination tonight!”
“What?” Heather scoffed.
“Come ON!” Eva yelled.
“Yep. Have fun!” Chris snickered as he walked back into the plane.
Heather sat with Courtney. “Okay, Cody SO needs to go.” Heather said. Courtney nodded.
Courtney (CONF): I’ve wanted Cody out since he decided HE was the leader. Well look who’s leading now!
“Just please...PLEASE vote out Sierra!” Cody pleaded.
“I’ll think about it. I just don’t know what to do.” Gwen sighed.
Cody (CONF): Gwen is my only hope. Both Heather and Courtney hate me! I need her right now….and I need SIERRA gone!
“Okay, I say we put an end to this Harold and Leshawna thing once and for all.” Eva said to Justin, DJ, Ezekiel, and Bridgette.
“I’m voting for Harold. I haven’t been able to stand that dork since day 1.” Justin scoffed. Ezekiel and Bridgette nodded.
“I don’t care who goes! The less relationship drama, the better.” Eva said gruffly.
Eva (CONF): Everything in this game is about everyone’s relationships with each other. I thought I was on Total Drama, not the bachelor!
Team Cody and Team Failure sat in the elimination ceremony. “Wow. Team Cody, this is like your nineteenth time here. Haven’t seen Team Failure here in a while, but I guess they had to start living up to their name at some point. It’s time to vote!”
Courtney (CONF): I’m the leader. *stamps passport*
Bridgette (CONF): *tentatively stamps passport*
Sierra (CONF): WHAT IS LOVE? *stamps passport*
“Alright, I’ll do Cody first. Barfbags for Gwen, Heather, and Courtney!” Chris announced, throwing bags to all three girls. “Cody, Sierra, this beautiful relationship is about to end. The final barfbag goes to…
...no one, it was a tie!” Chris announced. “Two votes Cody, two votes Sierra, one vote Gwen...for some reason.”
“You VOTED FOR ME?” Sierra cried at Cody. Cody looked sheepish.
“We’ll get back to you two later. It’s Team Failure time!” Chris got the barfbags ready. “And they go to DJ, Ezekiel, Bridgette, Eva, and Justin!”
All five contestants caught theirs. “And THIS relationship comes to an end as well. Will it be Harold or Leshawna? The final barfbag goes to….
...no one! We have a tie, AGAIN. 3 votes Harold, 3 votes Leshawna, 1 vote Justin.” Chris facepalmed.
“You VOTED FOR ME?” Harold cried at Leshawna. Leshawna looked sheepish.
“All this drama! And since we have two ties, yours truly will get the ultimate say in who goes home! So, after much deliberation…” Chris turned around for a minute and then turned back around “...that was the deliberation, by the way. Anyway, the person taking the drop of shame is……
….Ezekiel!” Chris announced.
“What?” Everyone said..
“What the foshizzle?” Ezekiel questioned
“You may have voted them out, but we’re not getting sued because of them!” Chris announced angrily. “Zeke’s rude comments to the actors playing the Zing-Zings--”
“They were ACTORS?” Leshawna asked.
“Yeah, duh. I’m not allowed to have you guys get actually kidnapped on live TV. Don’t you think I would’ve done it by now if I could?” Chris rolled his eyes. “Anyway, ZEKE here’s comments to them has gotten us a lawsuit for racial insensitivity. And as a strong believer in karma, I think it’s only fair Zeke be tonight’s drop-ee!”
“This is rigged, eh!” Ezekiel cried while putting on his parachute. “I ain’t going down without a fight, eh!”
“Yeah, we figured.” Chris sighed. “Chef!”
Chef appeared and grabbed Ezekiel. “You can’t send me out like this! I’m not done yet! I’ll be back! Bridgette, call meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Ezekiel cried.
Ezekiel grabbed onto the back of the plane. “I ain’t going nowhere, yo! I’m in it to win it!” he called, to no one in particular.
Chris closed the door of the plane. “Wow. Glad he’s gone. Forever. Definitely. Never coming back. Will the relationship drama get fixed?” Sierra and Harold cried as Cody and Leshawna stared on uncomfortably. “And who will get dropped next? Find out next time on Total...Drama...World Tooooooour!”
Chapter Nine- Can't Help Falling in Louvre
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our contestants had a real rumble in the jungle! Alejandro framed Noah for for food stealing, Cody FINALLY told Sierra how he really felt, and Team Failure got a taste of the local culture thanks to Justin’s direction skills! When Team Cody and Team Failure BOTH managed to fail spectacularly, they both went to elimination, where the two feuding lovebirds were on the block. However, thanks to his, um, colorful vocabulary, Ezekiel was the one who took the drop of shame! Man, am I glad that guy’s gone. And with ALL the game’s drama sticking around, it’s sure to be a dramatic week under the stars for our contestants! Will push come to shove in the city of love? Find out, right here, right now, on Total...Drama...World Tour!”
Team Chris sat in first class once again. “Dude, this is awesome!” Geoff cheered. “Are we ever gonna lose?”
“Hopefully not.” Trent said, reclining while getting a manicure. “This is the good life!
Trent (CONF): We’ve won three challenges in a row! After the trainwreck that was the Killer Grips, it’s nice to be on a winning team and have a clearer head about everything and not be crazy anymore. Wait, is this episode 9? YES!
“Yes, despite some struggles during the challenge, due to certain people, we still won!” Alejandro smiled, and then smirked while looking at Noah.
Noah (CONF): Fakejandro set me up last challenge to make it look like I was smuggling food. This puts my get him voted out plan behind a little, but it can still happen! And I think my teammates are smart enough to not fall for his tricks.
“Did you know Noah has voted for you every time and secretly despises you?” Alejandro asked Tyler. He gasped and shook his head.
Alejandro (CONF): It’s just too easy sometimes.
In economy class, Harold was sitting alone on the bench pouting. DJ walked over to him.
“Hey, buddy. Are you doing alright?” he asked, empathetically.
“Am I doing alright? We’re here again, we lost a teammate, and my one true love voted me off? How do you think I’m doing? GOSH!” Harold shouted, and then began to sob lightly.
Harold (CONF): My life is a never ending streak of MISERY! Leshawna voted me out last night and now I have every symptom of depression! *cries* Thanks Psychologist Steve’s Mental Health Camp! *cries*
Eva and Justin sat next to Leshawna, whose head rested in Bridgette’s lap.
Leshawna sighed. “Does everyone hate me?” she asked Bridgette, sadly.
“No! I mean, Harold does, and I don’t think Eva and Justin ever liked you. But other than that!” Bridgette smiled and Leshawna groaned more.
Leshawna (CONF): Don’t get me wrong- Harold annoys the mess out of me. But I feel horrible for voting him out, especially because now I feel like everyone’s turned on me! It’s like the Gaffers all over again!
“So where’s your head at, strategy-wise?” Justin said in a hushed tone to Eva. “Personally, I think we should get rid of Harold. He’s weaker than Leshawna, and splitting the lovebirds up will help our team in the long run.”
“I don’t strategize. I win challenges.” Eva said as she intensely stared at Justin.
Justin (Cockpit CONF): Right now, I’m in an awesome position. I hate half of my team and am targetting them, BUT my closest ally Eva refuses to strategize with me! *smiles*
“You lucky you pretty.” Chef rolled his eyes.
“Thank you!” Justin grinned.
On the Team Cody side of Economy Class, Sierra was sobbing into a pillow. “Hey, how are you doing?” Gwen asked, putting a hand on her back.
“TERRIBLE!” Sierra screamed and then began sobbing loudly again. Heather and Courtney groaned.
Heather (CONF): I have been dealing with this ever since the elimination. She was SLEEP sobbing last night. Ether Cody needs to fix this problem, or he OR Sierra is GOING.
Heather cornered Cody. “Listen, you little twerp.”
“Good morning to you too.” Cody said.
“I cannot deal with anymore of her sobbing. You need to get her happy again, or we’ll get you OFF THE PLANE.” Heather threatened.
Cody (CONF): Okay, can you REALLY blame me for voting off Sierra? She’s totally nuts! But, I do feel bad that she’s crying...and now if I don’t get her to like me again, I’M going home! I can’t go early again! Studies show that the number of chicks you get post-show is directly related to the number of episodes you last!
The PA came on. “Oh, beautiful contestants! We’re gonna be having a little bit of a water landing today, so you might wanna fasten your seatbelts!” Chris announced.
“What does he mean by water--” Bridgette began, but was interrupted with the plane colliding head on with the water in front of the Louvre, splashing every pedestrian in the general area.
The contestants stood outside of the plane. “Say Bonjour everyone, to France!” Chris grinned.
Gwen (Cockpit CONF): Paris! I’ve always wanted to come here, chill out, and see all of the amazing art!
Chef stared at her
“I can have positive feelings towards things, you know!” Gwen fired back.
“Now, welcome to Paris, and more specifically The Louvre! Now, I’m sure you can guess based on where we are what today’s challenge will be!” Chris said.
“Mimes are french, right? Are we miming? Dude, I could rock this!” Geoff cheered, and subsequently pantomimed being in an invisible box.
Noah (CONF): Maybe if we’re lucky, he’ll stay there.
“No, we are not...miming. I worry about you kids sometimes.’ Chris said, and then laughed. “I totally don’t. Anyway, for today’s challenge you will be making masterpieces!”
Courtney (CONF): An art challenge is so up my alley! I was the BEST CIT at arts and crafts. It was macaroni art, but it’s basically the same skillset.
“Here are the masterpieces you have to make!” Chris announced and then showed the cast pictures of famous statues.
“Um, I’m pretty sure someone’s already done these.” Trent said.
“Yeah, we don’t exactly trust you guys to make anything how do you say…..good. So instead we gave you some blueprints! All you have to do is assemble your team’s statue first! But the parts of these statues are hidden…”
The contestants were now standing with Chris inside the museum. “..the Louvre! The first two teams to make their statues correctly are safe at elimination tonight. As for the last place team, one of you gets a one way ticket to Dropsville, courtesy of me!” Chris laughed. “Ready? Go!” he blew an airhorn and all the teams grouped together.
“Okay, does anyone have a problem with me leading this time?” Heather asked. All of Team Cody began to talk over each other in disagreement.
“Okay, guess everyone’s fine with it!” Heather smiled. “Okay, does anyone have anyone have any special searching skills?”
“I’m searching for the pieces of my heart...after Cody SHATTERED it!” Sierra yelled and began sobbing. Heather glared at Cody, who gulped.
Team Failure was huddled together. “Okay, let’s split up gang.” Justin said.
“Why are we doing THAT?” Leshawna questioned.
“So we can find the pieces easier! Duh.” Justin said, with a smug grin. Leshawna rolled her eyes. “The teams will be….me, Eva, DJ, Bridgette on 1 and Harold and Leshawna on the other. Bye!” Justin grabbed the three he called and began running.
Justin (CONF): Leaving them alone together is an easy way to create even more tension, allowing me to get one of them voted off. *smiles* And no one suspects me at all!
Leshawna (CONF): I’m gonna punch pretty boy in the face!
“We should all like, stick together dudes. Getting split is a surefire way to get in trouble, ya kno?” Geoff said.
“I agree, companionship is key. We’ll find the pieces faster if we can all work together.” Alejandro nodded.
“Yeah!” Tyler cheered.
Tyler (CONF): I’m all about teamwork. Like when my coach put me on varsity for basketball, I was the only one who went to every practice! Never played in a game, but I didn’t care cause it was about the TEAM!
Team Cody searched for statue pieces. “Got one!” Gwen said, pulling out a head from under a trash can.
“Me too!” Courtney cheered, grabbing an arm that was hanging above a painting.
“Why can’t I find anything?” Heather complained. An arm then fell from the ceiling and hit her in the head.
“Hey….Sierra….” Cody awkwardly approached the purple haired girl as she was looking on the ground. “I just wanted to say that, um….”
“Cody, I’m moving on from our relationship. I suggest you do the same.” Sierra sniffled. “I have to go my own way.”
Cody (CONF): Oh man….she’s so sad that she’s gone SANE!
DJ, Bridgette, Eva, and Justin searched the Louvre. “You know, for Chris, this is a pretty tame challenge.” Bridgette stated.
“You’re right, actually. No wild animals, no crazy stunts. Maybe he’s losing his edge.” Justin chuckled.
Chris sat watching the cameras in the plane. “Losing my EDGE? Oh, I’ll show them! Release the bears!” Chris yelled. Suddenly, bears started running rampant through the Louvre. One grabbed a painting off the wall and swallowed it whole.
“You just HAD to open your mouth, huh?” Eva grumbled as the 4 ran from it.
Leshawna and Harold walked together in silence. “Listen, Harold. I really don’t want us to keep going like this. I think that--”
“Bear!” Harold yelled.
Leshawna looked offended. “I know you’re mad at me, but that does not mean you get to call me--”
“No, actual BEAR!” Harold screamed, as a bear roared at them. Both screamed and began running.
Team Chris was collecting pieces at a steady pace. “We only need a few more pieces, compadres!” Alejandro cheered.
“I bet the other two teams aren’t even CLOSE to us!” Tyler fist pumped.
“Yeah, I don’t think a team where the most masculine member is Cody will ever work out too well.” Duncan chuckled.
Duncan (CONF): After being on the Loser Gaffers with Heather, Leshawna, and Harold, to have a team that’s actually able to WIN something feels awesome! And I’m sure Courtney will be fine on her team. And even if she does get voted off, she is pretty hot when she’s mad…..
“Look, there’s a piece!” Geoff pointed to a piece in a glass casing.
“I think that’s our last one!” Trent said.
“I’LL get it!” Noah strutted out bravely.
Noah (CONF): I have to show this team I’m worth something, because I know Alejandro is poisoning them against me. Thankfully, this is a super easy challenge. What could go wrong?
“This is no probl--” Noah was interrupted by lasers being fired from all directions surrounding Noah and the piece. “Great.”
Harold and Leshawna ran screaming from their bear, running into DJ, Eva, Justin and Bridgette running screaming from their bear. The two pairs collided.
“At least we’re dying somewhere fancy!” Bridgette cried.
DJ stood up and began scratching the fur on the bear’s necks. “It’s okay, buddies. You’re fine. Don’t freak out.” The bears went from angry with beared teeth to smiling and sitting down. “I’ll call you guys Teddy and Winnie!”
“Are you kidding me?” Chris said, exasperated. He then went on walkie-talkie “Re-cage the bears, I repeat, re-cage the bears.”
“Did you guys find any pieces?” Justin asked, holding up the amount their group.
“No. I was too busy being heartbroken.” Harold said dramatically. Eva glared at Leshawna.
Justin (CONF): Getting everyone to turn on Leshawna is almost too easy. I kinda feel bad…*laughs hysterically* No I don’t!
Team Cody all regrouped as well. “It looks like we have almost every piece!” Courtney smiled when they pooled everything they had collected together. “Sierra, Cody, did you get anything.”
Sierra blew into a tissue. “I made my own art….” she held up a napkin with Cody’s face and broken hearts all over it. “The Cody Betrayal Shrine!”
Cody (CONF): Okay, nevermind, she’s still crazy.
“Listen, Sierra, I--” Cody began.
“Really? Now?” Cody complained.
“Nothing like a forlorn love song. Join in too, Team Failure!” Chris smiled.
Sierra: I love Paris in the springtime…..
Harold: J’taime Paris in the fall!
Sierra: It’s the city of love in the summer!
Harold: But now it’s just a bummer, cause Leshawna took my heart and chewed it up and spit it out and then stepped on it and threw it down a sewer and called it names and then laughed!
Sierra: Oui, my friends you must never trust a boy! Oui, my friends they will treat you like a toy! Oui, my friends they will….BREAK YOUR HEART AND CHEW IT UP AND SPIT IT OUT AN1D STEP ON IT AND THROW IT DOWN A SEWER AND CALL IT NAMES AND THEN LAUGH
- scene cuts to Team Chris by the lasers*
Team Chris: Oui, my friend! You are going to make it through!
Noah: Um, non, my friends. That thing just burnt off my shoe!
- cuts back to Team Cody and Failure*
Sierra: Oui, my friends- all I did was love him true!
“Cody, what are you DOING?” Heather asked impatiently.
“I’m TRYING!” Cody cried.
Sierra: Oui, my friends now I’m stuck telling you...if you fall in love with a boy on TV and then AUDITION to get on his show and then AUDITION again and finally get on his show and do nothing but be nice to him and kiss up you will STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL!
Team Cody (pointing at Sierra): She ends up in paris!
Team Failure (pointing at Harold): He feels les despaires!
Sierra: And the boy won’t even take you OUTSIDE!
“All she wanted to do was go outside? Do it Cody!” Heather yelled.
“Sierra, do you wanna, um, go outside, on, a, um, date?” Cody gulped.
“Yes. Yes I would.” Sierra sniffled and then walked out.
Noah was still surrounded by lasers while Team Chris stood watching.
“Dude, just make a move!” Geoff said.
“Um, I actually don’t enjoy my flesh burning. But thanks for the advice!” Noah rolled his eyes.
“Who has something I can throw?” Duncan asked, and then quickly took a necklace from Trent.
“Wait, that was from Gwe--” Trent began, before Duncan threw the necklace at a red button on the other side, disabling all the lasers.
Duncan chuckled. “Once you’ve beaten one security system, you’ve beaten them all.”
Trent (CONF): I’ve never liked Duncan, and now that I have to be on a team with him...ugh! If we ever lose, you know who I want to take the drop.
Noah grabbed the piece. “That’s the last one!” he said.
“To our statue base, amigos!” Alejandro called, and his team ran after him.
“That’s our last piece!” Courtney said, grabbing it out of a trash can.
“Awesome!” Gwen cheered.
“Just think- we couldn’t have done this without my leadership skills!” Heather cheered. Gwen and Courtney both laughed.
Courtney (CONF): Coming into this season, I thought I’d HATE Gwen for being a miserable goth girl who flirts with other people’s boyfriends, but she’s actually pretty cool!
“Great, now we’re behind!” Justin complained. “And I think we all know who’s fault it is….”
“No we’re not.” Eva said, carrying all of the rest of the statue pieces in her arms. “While you were singing, I was working.”
Eva (CONF): I’ve been working on my temper. I’m only allowing myself one angry blow up per challenge. I could’ve gone off on them for that, but I want to save this one for something special!
Cody and Sierra sat outside, awkwardly. “So...uh...you like jazz?” Cody asked. Sierra glared at him.
Inside, Team Cody, Failure, and Chris were all rushing to get to their statue bases, all carrying their pieces.
“Alright guys, we’re in it to win i--” Tyler began, but he tripped and fell, knocking over his team and knocking them into the other teams, creating a giant collision right in front of the statue bases.
Tyler (CONF): I think I’m starting to remember why I was benched all season.
Trent stood up “Um, guys I think we have a problem.” he said, scratching his head at the giant pile of pieces, with no one knowing which ones belonged to which team.
“Perfect.” Noah stared at the camera.
Cody and Sierra continued to sit outside. “Non-alcoholic champagne!” Chef set a bottle down on their table and then walked away.
“Do you want some?” Cody asked, a desperate attempt to be polite
“All I want to know is why?” Sierra said. “Why did you do it? Do you secretly hate me?”
“Well, it’s not really a secret-I mean,” Cody cleared his throat, attempting to explain. “You know, you just...come on a little strong sometimes. And you were just coming on to me so fast, and I’m normally the one that has to make the first move for a girl, and you make me feel awkward because I can see so hard you’re trying and….oh my god, you’re the female me.” Cody’s eyes widened in realization.
Sierra broke out into a smile. “Aww, you were just confused about your feelings! Every good relationship goes through that!” Sierra grinned and then hugged Cody closely to her chest.
Sierra (CONF): He loves me! He loves me! He had to figure out some things about his self-image but he loves me!
Cody (CONF): I would just like to apologize to ANY GIRL I have made feel the way Sierra makes me feel...Jessica Weinberg, that time I hid in your locker….Sarah Smith, that time I switched my whole schedule around to have PE with you…
“Can you give us our pieces?” Heather asked the other two teams.
“I don’t know if you’re aware, princess, but we’re all kinda in the same boat here.” Duncan said. Courtney chuckled.
“You’re not allowed to side with him, I’m your teammate!” Heather yelled.
“Yeah, and he’s my boyfriend!” Courtney fired back. “I think I know which one I’d rather side with.”
“I would never give you sass, muchacha.” Alejandro smiled.
“Oh, get bent.” Heather rolled her eyes.
Noah searched through the pieces for Team Chris’s. “This is impossible.” he groaned.
“Dude, don’t work harder, work smarter!” Geoff said, and grabbed a bunch of random pieces, placing them on Team Chris’s statue base. “Let’s just build it with these!”
Geoff (CONF): Sometimes, combining things is the way to go! I remember one time I had to study for like 5 different finals, so I did it all at once! Instead of just failing one, I got 70s on all of them! My history open-ended on algebra was wicked good!
“I think this is a leg?” Gwen said, holding up a piece of the statue.
“That’s a torso!” Heather said, and then stuck it on their statue that looked nothing like an actual human being.
“Geoff, can you hand me an arm?” Alejandro asked. “Geoff?” he asked again. He then turned to see Geoff and Bridgette making out on the museum floor.
Alejandro (CONF): Now can you see why I wanted Bridgette out all the way back in the Yukon?
Team Failure attempted to assemble their statue. “This looks pretty good.” DJ smiled. Team Failure had an arm sticking out of their torso, which was upside down with two legs sticking out of the side all balancing on a head.
“Hey, Harold, do YOU have any idea on how to fix this?” Justin asked.
Harold sniffled and turned away from his team.
“Ugh, I feel bad.” Leshawna sighed to Eva, whose eye was twitching.
“STOP ACTING LIKE SIX YEAR OLDS, MAN UP AND DISCUSS YOUR PROBLEMS BEFORE WE LOSE AND VOTE ONE OF YOU OUT!” Eva hollered.
Eva (CONF): See, patience IS a virtue!
“I don’t have anything to say to Lebrutus.” Harold turned his nose up.
“Fine. I’m done! Do you wanna know why I voted you off?” Leshawna angrily stomped up to Harold. “Because I couldn’t vote for MYSELF! Do you not think I felt stupid after going crazy over some latin boy no one knows anything about?” Alejandro looked mildly insulted. “Do you think I felt fine that my whole team thought I was dumb, and I messed up my relationship with one of the only people who cared about me? I wasn’t dealing with all that mess anymore. THAT’S why I voted you out.” Leshawna sighed.
Harold began bawling. “I LOVE YOU!” he cried.
Leshawna smiled. “I’m so sorry.” she pleaded “Gimme some sugar, baby,” The two then began kissing passionately.
Harold pulled away from Leshawna. “Oh, and the solution to this puzzle is really easy.” Harold stated. He grabbed pieces from Team Cody and Chris’s piles and quickly rearranged them to make the full statue. “Done!”
Harold (CONF): I’m really good at puzzles. It’s a nice way to pass time when you’re stuffed in a locker.
“That’s correct!” Chris announced. “TEAM FAILURE WINS FIRST CLASS!” Team Failure cheered, except for Justin.
Justin (CONF): Really? I have one goal, to make them hated and get one of them voted out, and one saves our butt in the challenge and the other gives a beautiful emotional speech! *sighs* At least I still look hot!
Gwen, Heather, and Courtney were almost done with their statue, as Team Chris scrambled.
“Geoff, why are you putting the feet on top?” Alejandro questioned desperately as they ran out of time.
“I thought maybe the guy was upside down?” Geoff suggested.
Alejandro (CONF): Being on a team with easily manipulated idiots is fun, until you need to rely on them and realize they’re easily manipulated idiots.
“Gwen, let me get on your back to put the head on top!” Courtney ordered. Gwen obeyed and kneeled down.
Cody and Sierra ran in just as Courtney was about to place the piece. “We love each other again!” Sierra yelled as she hugged Cody. “Let’s pop the non-alcoholic champagne!” she cried, opening the bottle and sending the cork straight into Team Cody’s statue, which it brought completely crashing down.
Sierra (CONF): Oops….
Alejandro placed the finishing piece on Team Chris’s statue. “Finished!” he cried.
“That’s a second place finish for Team Chris! Nice work!” The team cheered. “Oh, Team Cody. What a sad story. For the fourth time in a row, I’ll see you at elimination tonight, where one of you will be spending a lot of time in France!”
Team Failure sat in first class. “Man, does this feel good!” Leshawna said, getting a pedicure, and sitting next to Harold.
“It’s so nice to see you guys back together.” DJ smiled.
“Yeah. It is kinda funny that the exact same thing happened to you two that happened to me and Geoff.” Bridgette said.
“Yeah, that is weird.” Leshawna said, sounding confused. “And the common factor was…”
“Alejandro.” Both Bridgette and Leshawna said, and then looked at each other with shocked expressions.
Leshawna (CONF): Maybe Mr. Latin Lover isn’t as perfect as we all THINK he is…
Gwen, Heather, and Courtney sat in economy class. “Okay, so Sierra ruined the challenge for us. She’s going, right?” Courtney questioned.
“Well, the whole situation wouldn’t have happened if Cody didn’t vote her off.” Heather countered. “God, who betrays people like that?” Gwen and Courtney glared at her.
“We have good reasons to vote either of them off. It’s basically a toss up.” Gwen said. “Kind of an annoying decision to make.”
“1-2-3 not it!” Courtney and Heather both said at once. Gwen glared at both of them.
Team Cody sat at elimination. “Wow, you guys just truly and honestly suck, huh?” Chris chuckled. Heather flipped him off. “The votes have been tallied. Barfbags for….Gwen, Heather, and Courtney!” Chris threw bags to three girls.
“And now, our bottom two. Cody, you proved yourself to be quite the little heartbreaker! And Sierra, I know you were mad and everything, but destroying the team’s statue was a little harsh.” Chris laughed.
“It was an accident!” Sierra cried.
“And the person taking the drop of shame tonight is….
...Cody!” Chris threw a barfbag to Sierra.
“WHAT?” Sierra said. “I was so sure I was going home!”
“Yeah, she lost us the challenge!” Cody said.
“Typical man, blaming it on the girl.” Courtney rolled her eyes.
“We relate to Sierra’s struggle more than yours.” Heather said.
“Sorry, Cody.” Gwen sighed.
Cody sighed. “Well, I guess being on a team with four girls was too good to be true.” he said as he put on his parachute.
“Wait!” Sierra cried. “Cody doesn’t deserve to go home! I will take his pla--”
Before she could finish, Chris shoved Cody out of the plane. “Oops, too late, looks like you have to stay here!” Chris smiled.
Sierra sniffled, and then began full on sobbing again. Gwen, Heather, and Courtney groaned.
“Well, that was certainly a challenge. What loving relationship will be broken up next? Find out next time on Total...Drama...World Tour!” Chris announced.
Chapter Ten- Newf Kids On The Rock
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, we paid a visit to the city of love! But it was all about lost love for two couples! Crazy stalker Sierra got seriously peeved at Cody for voting her off, and weird nerd Harold got even MORE peeved at Leshawna for voting him off! In the end, both made up. Maybe it’s just that loving french atmosphere? But what wasn’t so loving was the BOOT Cody got directly after.” Chris chuckled “So long, geek! Now, 16 are left, and we’re headed to the shore this week! Who will row, row, row their boat all their way to their demise? Find out, right here, right now, on Total Drama World Tour!”
Team Chris sat in first class again. “Man, these wins just keep on coming!” Geoff cheered.
“I know right? This team rules!” Tyler cheered. “And we definitely couldn’t have done it without our leader, Alejandro!”
“Oh, compadres. It’s not just me! It’s all of us!” Alejandro smiled.
Alejandro (CONF): It is entirely just me. The rest of my team are complete and total incompetentes...but they’re useful incompetentes and I’ll use them until I don’t need them anymore.
“Yeah….for once, this show doesn’t suck that much.” Duncan commented.
Duncan (CONF): Right now, things with Courtney ae good, my team keeps winning, most of them are actually pretty cool….I think I’m actually having a good time on Total Drama! Now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.
A flight attendant came by to Trent with chocolates, and held the tray up to him. “Well don’t mind if I-” Trent began,before Duncan grabbed the chocolate and ate it.
“Eh, I’ve had better.” he said, crumpling up the wrapper and putting it on Trent’s lap.
Trent (CONF); Okay, I pretty much like my team...except for Duncan. God, I just can’t stand that guy! He’s so arrogant, and he totally stole Gwen from m--
Trent (pulling on confessional camera): I want that tape back Gimme the tape!
In economy class, Leshawna and Harold exited the confessional together and the rest of Team Failure stared at them.
“And WHAT were you two doing in there for so long?” DJ chuckled.
“Nothing at all!” Leshawna defended.
“Your definition of nothing must be different than mine then, because I definitely heard some noises.” Bridgette said as her, DJ, Harold and Leshawna all laughed.
Bridgette turned to Eva and Justin. “Isn’t it nice for everyone to just be cool with each other again?” she smiled. Justin groaned.
Justin (CONF); I HATE what’s happening right now. All of my targets have become best friends with each other! Why aren’t they all bending to MY will! When did being a hot guy become so hard?
Team Cody awkwardly shifted in their seats as Sierra sobbed dramatically. “MY CODY-WODY KINS!” she cried.
“It’ll be...okay...Sierra..” Courtney awkwardly pat Sierra on the back, seemingly disgusted to have to deal with her.
Courtney (CONF): Sierra had been crying since she found out Cody vote dher out, so you think the rational solution to that would be vote Cody out, right? Well now she’s even madder! God, I hate it when people have “complex feelings” over things.
“All this over Cody?” Gwen questioned.
“I know.” Courtney whispered. “She really needs to get over it.”
“I don’t know, I feel sorta bad.” Heather said, and then walked over to Sierra. Gwen and Courtney looked at each other skeptically
Heather (CONF): Sierra is a broken person right now, and if I’ve learned anything after 3 seasons of this show it’s that the weak and worthless make GREAT alliance members. I need to get her on my side, but in a subtle way.”
“Hey Sisi! Girl, friend, pal, amigo, bfffl- what’s going on?” Heather smiled.
Sierra sobbed into her hands “Everything is horrible!” she cried
“Okay, I know you liked Cody.” Heather began.
“HE WAS MY REASON FOR LIVING!” Sierra cried
“Yeah, sure, but you have to think. If you just give up now, you’re letting the evil ones who voted him out win.” Heather said.
“Didn’t you vote him out?” Sierra asked.
“Unimportant. The point is, the team needs you.” Heather smiled.
Heather (CONF): Our team is down to 4 people, and Gwen and Courtney have randomly become all buddy-buddy, if it goes down o 3, I’m out. I need to make an alliance with Sierra. I just don’t understand why she’s still upset about Cody. I mean, it’s been like eight hours. Who cares about something for that long?
“Contestants, we will be landing shortly!” Chris announced over the PA. The plane smoothly landed.
“Wow, that was the calmest we’ve ever gotten somewhere.” Gwen smiled. She then opened the door of the plane. “Aaaand we’re in the middle of the ocean” she sighed.
The scene changed to Chris and Chef standing on a nicely designed boat, while the three teams all sat in their own canoes.
“Welcome to my home, Newfoundland!” Chris announced. “I have so many good memories from back here...hanging out with my friends on the rocks, getting voted prom king of my high school, being captain of the football team, being captain of the soccer team, being captain of the basketball team, being captain of th--”
“I think we get it.” Heather rolled her eyes.
“ANYWAYS, this week’s challenge will test your skills on how you can fit in with my culture.” Leshawna rolled her eyes as Chris smiled. “And the founding experience in any Newfie’s childhood is their fishing trips!”
Geoff (CONF): Aw man, I love fishing trips! Just getting to chill out, catch some fish, catch some rays, and drink some-- wait, what’s this show rated again?
“Um..are you sure we can catch anything with these?” Justin questioned staring at the rods.
“It’s not about the strength of the rods, it’s about the strength of the person using them.” Chris smiled.
“What does that MEAN?” Heather asked exasperatedly.
“You might wanna stop whining and start paddling, considering you have no idea how far mainland is and the sun goes down preeeetty early here.” Chris laughed as the contestants looked around nervously. “Have fun!” he smiled as he sped away on his boat.
“We need people to paddle, and people to fish.” Eva stated gruffly. “Here.” she threw a fishing rod at Bridgette.
“I can’t fish! I’m a vegetarian!” Bridgette cried.
“Fish isn’t meat. Get over it.” Eva glared at her. Bridgette sighed.
Bridgette (CONF): Is it sad that this show has worn me down so much that I can’t even fight about compromising my morals anymore?
“And you two are rowing.” Eva threw paddles at Harold and Leshawna.
“Um, who died and made you queen of anything, but Leshawna is NOT rowing.” Leshawna complained, stepping towards Eva.
“I made MYSELF leader, because I’m the strongest one here, and if you have a problem, we can sort it OUT.” Eva said through gritted teeth. The two girls dramatically glared at each other.
“Oh sister, DO NOT PLAY WITH ME!” Leshawna yelled as she began to run even closer to eva before being held back.
“I can row!” DJ yelled as he cowered. “Just please don’t yell at each other…”
Leshawna (CONF): If that girl thinks she can boss me around, you got another thing coming! She’s lucky DJ came in, before she went overboard!
DJ (CONF): I don’t like conflict between anyone, but Leshawna and Eva? That’s world war 3 waiting to happen!
“Oh rowing boys!” Duncan called and threw paddles at Noah and Tyler.
“Um, why exactly are we the ones rowing?” Noah asked.
“Because you’re the most useless.” Duncan shrugged. “Now get to it.” He poked Noah with the s
Duncan (CONF): I don’t pick on nerds because I enjoy it, it’s just necessary. Some people need to get their butt kicked sometimes, you know? And Noah is DEFINITELY one of those people.
“I will do the REAL man job of fishing.” Duncan said, sitting at the back of the boat with the rod.
Noah sighed. “Well, this blows.”
“What? This is like the best job ever!” Tyler cheered. “Rowing’s awesome!”
Tyler (CONF): Cause of my super cool finger strength, I’m awesome at rowing! Doesn’t apply to the rest of my arms, though...sometimes my hands just keep going even when my arms completely dead, then it goes numb for a while...that’s normal, right?
“I mean, there’s no way I’M rowing. I was basically born to be our navigator!” Courtney said walking to the front of the boat.
“Sierra, why don’t you fish? It’ll take your mind off things.” Heather smiled.
“There are lots of fish in the sea...but only one’s named CODY!” Sierra cried loudly.
Heather (CONF): She’s getting crazier! I didn’t even think that was possible!
“Alright, now that everyone’s settled…” Chris began.
The contestants groaned.
“Hey Sierra, maybe a song is just what you need to get your head back in the game!” Heather smiled.
“A song...wait, if I don’t sing....” Sierra began to smile.
“Wait. Wait!” Heather yelled helplessly as the beat came in.
Alejandro: We’re headed down to Newfoundland, that rocky eastern shore…
Geoff: I’ll have the shrimp, mussels, cod and the lobster commodore.
Bridgette: : I can’t get a thing to bite so we better get there first!”
Eva: Row harder, faster both of you! For the wind, work up a thirst. STROKE STROKE STROKE!
Heather: It’s a sea shanty, and it’s DARN catchy! Come on Sierra, your turn!
Tyler: Duncan, you’re a psycho, but you sure can catch a fish!
Duncan: Thanks there Ty, you’re quite kind, to my skills at killing fish.
“Pretty goods at nerds too!” Duncan laughed as he gave Noah a noogie.
Harold and DJ: Trying our best Eva, our arms are getting tired.
Gwen: (pointing to a shortcut sign) Courtney, do you see!
Courtney: Could it be? Steer hard starboard side!
Everyone: It’s a sea shanty, and it’s DARN catchy!
Sierra: No, you can’t catch me, with a sea shanty!
“YES!” Heather cheered.
“No….” Sierra groaned.
“You’re still in the game, you’re still in the game! HA!” Heather laughed.
Sierra (CONF): I can’t believe I was so weak-willed...but in my defense, the sea shanty WAS catchy…
“Are you sure about this ‘shortcut’, Courtney?” Heather asked. “It seems a little sketchy to me.” An eel dramatically zipped by the boat as dark clouds emerged.
“Don’t worry, when it comes to navigation, I’m right 95.63 percent of the time!” Courtney said.
Courtney (CONF): Of course I calculate every single one of my decisions to see how right the choices I made are each day! Who DOESN’T?
“Actually Courtney, i might agree...this is pretty shady.” Gwen said as the boat began to rock.
“Welcome...to your nightmares!” a disembodied deep voice bellowed as Gwen, Heather, and Courtney screamed. The girls cowered as they sailed into darkness, and then a little ghost puppet popped out.
“Really?” Gwen rolled her eyes.
Gwen (Cockpit CONF): I mean, Chris really needs to get his danger budget up. Is that supposed to pass for scary now?
“Courtney, this is pretty shady!” Chef mocked in a high-pitched voice.
Gwen glared at the camera. “You know, the toilet might actually be the better option!”
After the “ghost” went away, the sky cleared and the island was in sight.
“Awesome!” Gwen cheered.
“Yes! We are so winning this challenge!” Courtney cheered.
“Hey Sierra, have you caught any fish yet? I know it’s a hard time and we understand if you couldn’--”
“Actually, I’ve caught a bunch.” Sierra said solemnly as the camera panned to a bag full of fish, with Heather looking shocked.
“Sierra, that’s amazing!” Courtney smiled.
“Yeah, and I think I’m starting to feel better!” Sierra weakly smiled.
Heather (CONF): Okay, I THOUGHT I wanted Sierra’s head in the game, but I really just want to win, and if she’s efficient while being normal for once, AND easy to control, maybe it’s best for all of us if she just stayed depressed!
“Don’t forget, Sierra. Your one true love was just eliminated.” Heather said.
“You’re right. I’m worthless!” Sierra cried. Courtney and Gwen glared at Heather, who whistled innocently.
Justin groaned on Team Failure’s boat. “What’s TAKING so long…” Justin complained.
“Maybe if you were ROWING, you would know. “ Harold grumbled.
“Pretty people don’t have to do physical labor. That’s the ugly people’s job.” Justin said while filing his nails.
Justin (CONF): These are all strictly glamour muscles. I work out to maintain them, but I’d never actually USE them for something. *shudders* What am I, a construction worker?
“It’s so unfair that Justin doesn’t have to do any owing, I mean GOSH!” Harold scoffed.
“Yeah….whatever, as long as we win, that’s what matters.” DJ smiled, attempting to be positive.
DJ (CONF): I consider myself a positive guy, and I really want my team to all get along. It’s just that they’re all um...what’s the word...crazy.
“But my mad navigating skills are being WASTED right now.” Harold complained.
Harold (CONF): I got great at navigation from going to Mapping Steve’s Navigating Camp. The first thing we had to do was find the camp from the middle of the woods with no map. It was the best education I’ve ever gotten.
“I could’ve fished, too! I mean, look at Bridgette.” Harold complained
Bridgette placed a worm on the hook as bait. She then began to tear up.
“What’s wrong, Bridge?” Leshawna asked.
“That worm had a whole life ahead of it! It probably had some sort of worm family that loved it.” Bridgette placed her head in her hands. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Girl...It’s a WORM. It wasn’t gonna do anything but crawl around in some dirt and eventually get eaten by some bird.” Leshawna siad.
Bridgette (CONF): Leshawna’s right...I mean it IS just a worm….but aren’t WE just HUMANS?
Team Chris was currently in last place, rowing slowly. Duncan brought up another fish. “Got a new one!” Duncan announced and threw it on deck. “How many does that make?”
Geoff looked through the pile of fish. “Twenty five!” he cheered “There’s no way we lose this challenge!”
“Well, we have to make it to shore, which won’t happen if we keep going this slow. What’s wrong, chicken arms?” Duncan questioned, punching Noah in the arm.
“I’m rowing as fast as I can.” Noah complained
“Really?” Trent said incredulously.
“That’s a little pathetic, man.” Geoff added. Noah looked down in shame.
Noah (CONF): I’m getting a little sick of everyone looking down on me. I mean, I bring a very important contribution to this team! Like...uh...
Team Failure, looking exhausted, saw the mainland and immediately perked up. “YES! We’re in first!” Eva cheered.
“Really?” DJ questioned.
“How?” Leshawna added on.
“Because SOMEONE actually got you losers to bust your butt and WORK! That someone is me, by the way.” Eva smirked.
Leshawna (CONF): Oooooo, I cannot STAND the way that Eva girl thinks she runs this team. The next time she sasses me, she’s getting a paddle where the sun don’t shine!
“And if Bridgette caught a solid amount of fish, we’ll have even more of a head start!” Justin said, and then smiled deviously. “You DID catch some fish, right Bridgette?”
Bridgette awkwardly chuckled. “Um, yeah...about that…”
Justin held up the empty bucket. “Wow, no fish caught? I mean, what a way to let your team down…”
“I mean, how many fish did you expect a vegetarian to catch?” DJ said with a raised eyebrow.
“Girl did say she didn’t want to do it.” Leshawna added.
Justin (CONF): Why do they all like each other so much? What kind of friends “understand others’ shortcomings”? I just don’t get it!
Chris sat inside the small pub the second part of the challenge took place in, staring out the window dramatically. “Round my hometown….memories are fresh. Round my hometown… oh the people I’ve met. Shows that we ain’t gonna stand sh--”
“Um, Chris?” Bridgette said.
“Gah! How long have you guys been here?” Chris asked.
“Long enough to hear that.” Leshawna chuckled.
Chris glared. “ANYWAY, the final part of the challenge is the traditional Newfoundland relay!”
“Just a relay race? That doesn’t sound that bad.” Justin said.
“Well, let’s get straight to the relay then! Part one: Chug this bottle of apple vinegar!” Chris smiled and slammed a whole bottle of vinegar on the table. Team Failure stared at each other.
Team Cody and Team Chris both rushed in immediately. “Wow, how convenient t! Almost like some guy wanted to end this episode quickly for some reason. No idea why that would happen. Not like we’ve been off the air for 6 months or something.”
“Can you just get to whatever horrible thing you’re making us do now?” Heather asked.
“Chug vinegar.” Chris said.
Gwen (CONF): Hey, at least he’s finding new ways to make us miserable.
“We’re LOSING OUR LEAD! SOMEONE VOLUNTEER!” Eva yelled.
“Why don’t you volunteer, Miss Unibrow?” Leshawna questioned angrily.
“Because I’m saving myself for a STRENGTH challenge- something you might have if you lost a few pounds!” Eva yelled back.
“Oh, you’re gonna get it!” Leshawna yelled as she lunged at Eva, but DJ stood up in the middle of them.
“I’ll chug the vinegar!” DJ announced. Leshawna and Eva growled at each other over his arm.
Gwen and Courtney stared at Heather. “What?” She questioned. “I hope you don’t think I’M doing it.”
“Well, neither am I!” Courtney said.
“Just make Sierra do it! It’s not like she can get any lower.” Heather commented as Sierra beat her head on the floor.
“I think she’s gone through enough.” Gwen sighed. “Whatever, I’ll do it.”
Gwen (CONF): I have to admit, I feel bad for Sierra. Even though she and Cody’s thing was….weird, I know how it feels to lose a love on this show. I mean when me and Duncan broke u--Trent! I meant Trent!
Gwen (pulling on confessional camera): I want that tape back! Gimme the tape!
“So who’s doing this?” Duncan said, sharing at the jug of vinegar.
“No problem, dude!” Geoff said, as he sat down and chugged the vinegar down in one shot.
Team Chris all cheered. “Dude, that was awesome!” Tyler said.
Geoff (CONF): I’ve definitely chugged some way wore things!
“Team Chris takes the lead!” Chris announced. “The next part of the challenge is translating a traditional Newfoundland phrase from my cousin, Jed!”
Noah (CONF): Translating! Something to do with the BRAIN! I can definitely show my worth here!
Noah walked forward and sat down on the bench cockily, “I got this one, guys.” he boasted
“Confident. Jed, let’s hear the phrase!” Chris chuckled.
“Oh me nerves ye get me drove.” Jed stated.
Noah sighed deeply. “This should be fun.”
“You can do it, smart dude!” Geoff cheered.
“If you don’t, we’re definitely voting you off!” Duncan cheered, then snickered. Trent glared.
Trent (CONF): I really don’t like Duncan. Sure, Noah isn’t good at...most things, but to attack him about it everywhere he goes...that’s low.
“Um, it’s saying like...you drive on my nerves? Or something?” Noah muttered.
“That sounds right!” Tyler smiled and gave a thumbs-up, while Alejandro facepalmed.
“No dudes! You drive on my nerves...that means you drive me crazy!” Geoff said. Jed smiled and let them go the next part of the relay.
Noah (CONF): Did I just get outsmarted by GEOFF? I might as well just quit, at this point.
Gwen finished chugging vinegar, and slammed the jug down. “Good job, Gwen!” Courtney cheered. Gwen smiled back at her.
Courtney (CONF): Just looking at it critically, Gwen is the most sane person left on our team, and therefore the best ally. Plus, I’ve actually started to like her personality. Maybe we could actually be...friends?
DJ slammed the vinegar down. “We’re BEHIND!” Eva yelled. “Let’s GO!”
“We can all hear you.” Leshawna rolled her eyes as she and Bridgette sat across from Jed.
“So what’s the last part of the challenge?” Alejandro asked.
“Glad you asked, my Spanish friend! All you have to do is kiss this fish!” Chris handed a dead fish to Team Chris who all stared, disgusted.
Alejandro (CONF): I have done many things for my team, but french kissing a fish is off the line. Besides, this mouth is reserved for la chicas…
Jed said the phrase to Leshawna and Bridgette. “I...have no idea.” Bridgette said, sheepishly.
“Wow, yet another failure in the challenge by Bridgette. Seems like she’s one of our least useful members, huh.” Justin said to DJ and Harold.
“Everyone has bad days, I guess!” DJ smiled.
Justin (CONF): Why don’t they HATE each other! God, I wish I could go back to being surrounded by models. Those people KNOW how to have a petty feud.
Alejandro continued to stare in the fish’s open mouth. “Come on, Al!” Tyler cheered.
“I’m sure you’ve done this to tons of chicks!” Duncan added.
Noah chuckled “Guess he’s not so perfect.” he muttered to Trent. Alejandro glared and then passionately kissed the fish.
“I can do ANYTHING.” Alejandro said confidently while walking past Noah.
“Team Chris wins! Team Chris wiiiiins!” Chris cheered. Team Cody and Team Failure both groaned.
Noah (CONF) Okay... maybe he Is that perfect.
Alejandro (CONF): Did I want to kiss that fish...not particularly. But it’s never a bad idea to pass up the win for your team, and any opportunity to show Noah how pathetic he is is one that I can’t pass up!
Jed repeated the phrase, but Leshawna and Bridgette still looked puzzled.
“Come on ladies, let the EXPERT do it.” Harold said, pushing Bridgette and Leshawna out of the way.
“PLEASE explain to me how you’re an expert on Newfoundland slang?” Leshawna raised her eyebrow.
“Because of my mad linguistic skills, duh?” Harold said, sitting down and cracking his knuckles. “Lay it on me.”
Jed repeated the phrase and Harold stared blankly. He then pulled out a giant dictionary. “Time to find some etymologies!” Team Failure groaned.
Leshawna (CONF): I like Harold, but sometimes that boy gets on my last nerve. I just hope he isn’t getting on anyone else’s- I need a TEAM to take Eva down!
Heather sat down, and Jed said the phrase to her. “You’re getting on my nerves.” she repeated back, almost instantly.
“How did she do that so fast?” Courtney questioned.
Heather (CONF): Obviously I know how to insult people in several native tongues. Wanna hear me say “I hate you” in Arabic?
“The only thing we have left to do is kiss the fish!” Gwen said excitedly.
“Courtney, you’re up!” Heather smiled, pushing her in front.
“Um, I have a BOYFRIEND!” Courtney cried.
“It’s a FISH. I’m sure your criminal boyfriend won’t care!” Heather rolled her eyes.
“He is NOT a criminal- he is a juvenile delinquent!” Courtney argued. The two continued bickering.
“Sierra, if you don’t do something they’re gonna win. Wouldn’t Cody want you to continue on?” Gwen said. Sierra suddenly looked determined.
She ran to the fish “THIS IS FOR YOU, CODY!” Sierra bellowed, she then passionately made out with it.
“Something is seriously wrong with that girl.” Leshawna sighed.
“Team Cody snatches second place!” Chris announced. “Wow, what a surprise! As for you, Team Failure...someone’s saying bye bye tonight!”
Leshawna, Bridgette, DJ, and Harold stood in the cargo hold. “Do we have to strategize in here?” Bridgette asked, as a rat crawled on her head.
“Sorry, but it’s the only spot on this plane where you can get ANY privacy.” Leshawna complained. “Anyway, I think we all know what needs to happen tonight.”
“Yup- it’s time for Justin to finally go!” Harold smiled.
“Justin? No, we need EVA out of here. She’s the real evil one!” Leshawna cried.
“I COMPLETELY agree. She’s a nightmare.” Bridgette complained.
Bridgette (CONF): Back on the island, Eva tried to KILL me for something I didn’t even say! I thought she would have calmed down by now, but clearly THAT was wishful thinking...I just can’t wait to have her out of here!
“But Justin’s the real jerk. He’s threatening my spot for alpha male of the team!” Harold complained.
“DJ has more masculinity then you and prissy boy in his pinky toe, and he cries at animal shelter commercials.” Leshawna rolled her eyes.
DJ’s voice wavered “I just want someone to adopt them…”
“I’m voting Justin and that’s final!” Harold stated.
“Fine, you can be difficult. As long as the three of us vote for Eva, it doesn’t matter.” Leshawna said, as they all got out of the cargo hold. However, Eva entered right before DJ could leave.
“Hey Eva…” DJ said, sounding unsure.
“Cut the CRAP.” Eva said gruffly. “You’re voting Harold off tonight, get it? And you know what will happen if you don’t?” Eva grabbed a barf bag full of peanuts and crushed it in her hand, and then walked out. DJ gulped.
Justin (CONF): I know there’s no way I’m going home. They’d have to be crazy to vote this face off.
Harold (Cockpit CONF): I know I should vote Eva off but….it would be so satisfying to see Justin get kicked off. Then I’D be the hottest guy on this show.
Chef laughed uncontrollably. “What? What?” Harold asked angrily.
Team Failure sat in the elimination ceremony. “Wow, an embarrassing performance from you guys. And it seems like a lack of team chemistry may be the cause of that.” Chris said as Eva and Leshawna growled at each other.
Chris chuckled. “Tension-y. Time to vote!”
Leshawna (CONF): *stamps passport angrily*
Justin (CONF): *smirks while stamping passport*
DJ (CONF): *looks conflicted between passports*
“The votes are in.” Chris announced. “And the barf bags go to…DJ and Leshawna!” Both of them happily received their bags.
“Bridgette and Justin!” Chris announced, throwing both bags. Justin winked at Bridgette, who glared back.
“And now, our bottom two. Harold and Eva. The brute and the geek. Harold lost the team the challenge, while Eva’s just generally unpleasant. The final barfbag goes to……….
...Eva!” Chris announced.
“WHAT!” Leshawna gasped.
“While I do appreciate a good blindside, I wish it wasn’t on me.” Harold sighed.
“Harold, this wasn’t supposed to happen!” Leshawna said. “I don’t know WHAT did happen, actually.”
DJ whistles innocently.
“But I’ll miss you, you crazy white boy.” Harold went into kis her, but she just hugged him.
“And now that you’ve done your typical mushy couple stuff…” Chris shoved Harold out of the plane. “See you later, bro! That’s another loser down, with some more to go! How did this shocking elimination happen? Will Team Cody finally self-implode? And will Eva and Leshawna finally get into a no-holds barred fistfight?” Chris whispered to the camera. “My money’s on yes. Find out all of this on the next Total...Drama...World Tour!”
Chapter Eleven- Jamaica Me Sweat
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our contestants had a bleeding good time in my hometown! The open ocean proved to still not be enough room for Eva and Leshawna’s egos, while Sierra lost any speck of sanity she had left. Noah got humiliated by Alejandro...and Duncan….and pretty much everyone. In the end, Team Failure lived up to their name, and in a shocking move, Harold got kicked off! See you later, nerdzilla! Only 15 passengers remain on the plane, but not for much longer! Who’s flight is getting permanently delayed? Find out, right here on Total...Drama...World Tour!”
Team Chris sat in first class, Noah eating a beautifully prepared fish. “You know, sometimes this game doesn’t suck.” he smirked.
“Yeah, this rocks! Team Chris is staying winning til the end.” Trent smiled. Alejandro smirked.
Alejandro (CONF): Things are going just perfectly right now. My amazing leadership has led our team to victory much more than the other two, leaving my targets in a false sense of security. And now that the numbers of the game are dwindling down, it is time to start forming alliances...the real game begins now.
“Hola, compadre.” Alejandro said, walking up to Geoff and Tyler.
“Sup, dude?” Geoff asked.
“I was just wondering what your thoughts were on the whole strategy front?” Alejandro asked.
I don’t really do that stuff. Just focus on keeping it chill and winning!” Geoff fist pumped.
“Yes, while I am also a fan of...keeping it chill,” Alejandro grimaced. “Don’t you think that we should have a plan if we lose?”
“Yeah...I guess you’re right.” Tyler said.
“And since 6 of us remain, only 4 are needed for a majority. I think me, the two of you, and Duncan could be a powerful alliance.” Alejandro said. Geoff and Tyler both nodded.
Tyler (CONF): Alejandro is like the smartest person on the team, so my strategy in the game is to just follow everything he says until he starts being wrong! Strategy!
“Hola, Duncan.” Alejandro said, sitting down next to him.
“Oh, hey.” Duncan said, looking wary.
“Now, as the amount of contestants remaining in the game gets smaller and the possibility of our teams switching or merging get closer, I think we need to start playing. You and I are clearly the smartest people on the team.” Alejandro stated.
“Well, duh.” Duncan laughed. “Team Dude is not exactly full of masterminds.”
“Geoff and Tyler are weak and easily manipulated. I dislike Noah; you dislike Trent. With our powers combined...we could run this game.” Alejandro smiled.
“As long as you don’t mind getting your hands dirty, pretty boy.” Duncan smirked.
Duncan (CONF): I thought Al was just our goody two-shoes leader, but it turns out he’s willing to play the game. *laughs* It’s nice to finally have someone who realizes that it’s a game for a million bucks.
Alejandro (CONF): And now that all of my ducks are lined up on my team, I only have to control the other two, which should not prove difficult. This game will soon be MINE!
Leshawna and Bridgette sat in economy class, glaring at Eva and Justin, who quickly noticed and glared right back. DJ trembled in the middle.
DJ (CONF): I feel terrible about voting off Harold! It’s just that Eva intimidated me into it…..she’s REALLY scary….
“Hey guys, I know the last vote was pretty dramatic...but we’re still a,” DJ gulped “...team, right?”
Leshawna scoffed. “Any team I’m ever on won’t be led by She-Hulk over there.”
“Do you have something to SAY? Then SAY IT TO MY FACE!” Eva got up to run to Leshawna, but Justin held her back.
“We have to play smarter, not harder.” Justin whispered. Eva settled down and rolled her eyes.
Eva (Cockpit CONF): I’m ruling this team with an iron fist, and Justin is really cramping my style by not letting me pound Leshawna into the GROUND. She better WATCH HER BACK!
“You must be fun at parties.” Chef grumbled.
“I AM.” Eva said gruffly, and then walked out of the confessional, as Chris walked in.
“Gee, she’s a weird one, eh?” Chris chuckled.
“Yo Chris, what does the fuel gauge being on E mean?” Chef asked.
Chris’s eyes bugged out of his head. “Um, it means the jet has no FUEL! WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS?”
“I don’t know if it works the same as cars!” Chef yelled.
“MAYBE THAT’S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD’VE ASKED!” Chris screamed.
“WELL, THERE’S NO USE TALKING ABOUT IT NOW!” Chef yelled back.
The intercom came on. “Attention all passengers on the Total Drama Jumbo Jet,” Chris said calmly. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
The contestants all screamed as the plane began rapidly descending.
“I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE.” DJ cried.
Sierra was rapidly writing on a piece of paper. “I leave all of my earthly posessions to Cody. He’ll live for both of us.” She began to tear up.
“Is this when I would use the landing gear?” Chef asked.
“YES! Where did you learn to FLY A PLANE?” Chris screamed.
“I DIDN’T! YOU DIDN’T PAY FOR ME TO GO TO FLIGHT SCHOOL!” Chef screamed.
The contestants all screamed as the plane crashed to the ground. They all began to stumble off the plane, clearly rattled.
“Um, what just happened?” Gwen asked, her hair all over the place.
“We just had a little bit of a rough landing--” Chris began.
“....or crash.” Noah said
“But I guarantee you, everything will be fine!” Chris smiled as his eye twithed.
“We can’t be stranded here. There’s no way that’s legal!” Heather yelled.
“Actually, it is. You guys should REALLY read those contracts.” Chris chuckled.
“I did read my contract!” Courtney argued.
“Oh right. Your lawyers did give you special accomodations for a this kinda thing.” Chris threw Courtney a sleeping bag. “In case we have to spend the night.
Courtney (CONF) *inside sleeping bag* What do I PAY those guys for?
“We were on our way to Florida, but we ended up somewhere in the caribbean. Map says…..Jamaica!” Chris announced. “Eh, better than nothing. I’m sure I can make a life-threatening challenge out of this!”
Sierra (CONF): You know, Chris’ abuse is more fun on TV.
The contestants were all seen in their bathing suits, standing over a giant cliff. “Ready for the first part of today’s challenge?” Chris smiled.
“That was fast.” Gwen groaned.
“You know it. Today we’re doing a little throwback to our first season with some cliff-diving! At the bottom of this cliff, other than an ocean, is Chef’s gold chains!” Chris announced.
“You took my chains?” Chef asked angrily.
“You CRASHED my PLANE!” Chris yelled back. He turned back to the contestants and cleared his throat. “Anyway, you’ll be diving down to find them at the bottom of this lagoon.Each team can send out one person at a time- if you dive without getting anything, you have to run back up the cliff and tag in the next teammate. First person to get the chains and bring them back up to me wins part 1 of today’s challenge for their team! ”
“Hey, this doesn’t sound so bad!” Geoff smiled.
Chris chuckled. “So naive. Go!”
“Let’s do this!” Geoff cheered and threw up devil horns before diving into the water. He then immediately came up with 7 electric eels tangled all over his body, shocking him.
“Oh, did I forget to mention those?” Chris smirked.
“Geoff!” Bridgette cried, then jumped into the water to try and save him. They both then emerged hugging, being shocked by even more eels.
“Aww, young love!” Chris smiled.
The eels were now all on Bridgette, shocking her to extreme levels. Geoff stared on in horror. The two were washed up onto shore, both still convulsing. Chef looked down at the couple. “Yo Chris, what’s wrong with the hippies?” he asked from the bottom of the cliff.
Chris looked down and cringed. “Yeesh. Can you take them to the medical tent? And try not to CRASH that.” Chris said.
Chef grumbled as he rolled Geoff and Bridgette out on stretchers. “I don’t get paid enough for this.”
“So, who’s next?” Chris smiled. The rest of the cast looked at each other nervously.
Courtney scoffed. “Please! There’s no way I’m doing that.”
“Um, if you want to win this challenge, you WILL do that.” Heather said, stepping into Courtney’s face.
“You can’t make me! I’m the leader of this team.” Courtney declared.
Gwen rolled her eyes. “Since no one else seems to want to.” she sighed, and then jumped off the cliff
Gwen emerged from the water. “Hey, this isn’t too bad.” she said. She then turned around and was face-to-face with a shark. “CHRIS!!!”
“Man. Now THOSE things are reliable.” Chris said, smiling about the sharks. “They wouldn’t crash my plane.”
“LISTEN! IF I HEAR ONE MORE DAMN THING ABOUT CRASHING YOUR PLANE!” Chef yelled.
“MAYBE I WOULDN’T BE SO MAD IF YOU DIDN’T CRASH! MY! PLANE!” Chris screamed back.
Justin chuckled. “No way I’m doing that. This beautiful face cannot be messed up.”
Alejandro walked up to Justin. “Hmmm….I know how it feels to want to protect a gorgeous specimen, but jumping could make you your team’s hero, no?”
Justin thought for a second. “Hmm...it may get me some brownie points….” Justin thought.
“Us beautiful men must be leaders, you know?” Alejandro smiled.
“You’re right!” Justin said dramatically. He then pushed Eva, who was preparing to jump off the cliff.
“You have 10 seconds to explain why you pushed me before I end you.” Eva declared angrily.
“I’m being a HERO!” Justin yelled dramatically before he dived into the water.
Justin emerged from the water face-to-face with the shark. “AHHHHHHHHHHH!” he screamed before the shark began chasing him.
“Finally!” Gwen sighed as the shark began chasing someone else.
“Um, someone needs to go before Gwen wins!” Duncan yelled.
“I got it! EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEME!” Tyler yelled as he began running.
“NO.” the other four Team Chris members yelled. Tyler sadly began walking back.
Duncan kicked Noah off the cliff. “Problem solved!”
“I haaaaate yoooooooou!” Noah yelled as he fell directly on Justin’s shoulders. The shark smiled and then began to chase both of them.
Gwen emerged with the gold chains around her neck, smiling.
“And that’s a win for Team Cody!” Chris announced. Gwen, Heather, and Courtney cheered.
Sierra began to tear up. “Cody!” she cried.
The scene changed to the emergency tent, where Chef was dressed in a nurse’s outfit while Geoff and Bridgette sat, still convulsing because of their electric shock. “Stupid Chris...makin me take care of these dumb kids…” Chef grumbled.
“Bro, could we get some medical att--” Geoff convulsed. “ention?”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Chef said, walking over to his desk.
“Aw babe, you are still cute, even when suffering from an excess of--” Bridgette convulsed “electric shocks.”
“So do you, baby.” Geoff smiled.
Chef was looking at his laptop. “Hmm...says here that sometimes more electric shocks is the best solution. I’ll warm up the defibrilator!” Chef ran to his nursing station.
“Aw, man...” Geoff sighed.
The 13 remaining healthy contestants were walking to the next challenge. Eva walked up to justin. “Hey, next time when it’s something physical, push me out of the way, and I’ll end you.” Eva stared directly into his eyes.
“No.” Justin said. “I can be the hero too. I SHOULD be the hero. I’m the hot guy who everyone loves!”
“What are you talking about?” Ev asked, bewildered.
“This team needs me! I’m a winner who can lead you losers to victory!” Justin said cheered, walking off.
Justin (CONF): This team has made me into a Total Drama Second Class Citizen! I’m a star who can lead a team to victory, and it’s time for me to prove that!
The 13 contestants walked up and saw a giant, incredibly dangerous looking course. “Ready for part two?”
Noah (CONF): You know, every day that drop of shame looks better and better.
Chef wheeled out Geoff and Bridgette to the rest of the contestants, both looking charred and dazed. “You know, maybe the shock therapy did work!” Bridgette convulsed. “Nevermind.”
“This may blow” Geoff convulsed “but at least we have each other.”
Geoff: Ohhhh Bridgette, ohhhh Bridgette, I love you s--
Geoff convulsed. Chris scratched his chin. “Maybe we’ll skip the song this time. Anyway, today’s challenge is based on a famous Jamaican hobby- longboarding!”
“What if we don’t know how to longboard?” Gwen asked.
“Oh, you’ll learn. Through our completely not dangerous at all, probably won’t kill you obstacle course!” Chris smiled.
Gwen (CONF): You know, when he told us he was taking us around the world, I expected something a little more luxurious!
“Each team will send two people out at a time to take on the longboarding course. You’ll all be timed, and each team will go three times. Team Cody’s advantage for winning the first challenge is that they only have to go twice, meaning their time should be pretty short...assuming they don’t mess it up.” Chris winked. “The team with the shortest amount of time all put together will win! While the team with the longest time will be sending one of it’s members packing.
“Packing where? Aren’t we STRANDED?” Heather complained.
“We’ll figure it out.” Chris shrugged.
“Chris, your improv skills and dedication to this show warms my heart!” Sierra said fondly.
“Why are you encouraging this?” Heather complained.
Alejandro and Tyler sat on the longboard at the top. “I have immense longboarding experience from my trips to the Caribbean on diplomatic duties. I believe we can win this.”
“Yup, we TOTALLY got this! EXTREEEEEEME!” Tyler started the longboard. Alejandro and Tyler were then sent crashing through the obstacle course. The members of the other teams cringed as they slowly crashed hrough the enclosed course. Some time later, they came out and slammed into the drained pool.
“3 minutes 25 seconds AKA….weeeak.” Chris chuckled.
Alejandro (CONF): How did he transfer his failure at everything to me?
DJ and Eva sat at the top of the course on the longboard. “This is….awfully high up.” DJ whimpered.
“Are you scared?” Eva asked.
“A little bit.” DJ admitted.
Eva put his hand on his back. “GET OVER IT!” she then started the longboard.
DJ and Eva flew through the course extremely fast. “1 minute and a half! Solid!” Chris smiled.
DJ (CONF) (quiet crying) So….fast….
“Hmm. Good job guys, but I think I’ll go next. I can do better than average.” Justin smirked.
“Are you calling ME AVERAGE at ATHLETICS?” Eva asked, angrily.
“This feels like a trick question.” Justin said as Eva threw him in the drained pool.
Justin (CONF): (with a black eye) I’m getting real sick of Eva thinking she runs the show here. I mean, when has someone with a unibrow ever succeeded at anything?
Duncan and Trent sat on the longboard at the top of the course. “Dude, how did the helmet even fit over your freakish big head?” Duncan asked, and then chuckled.
Trent glared and then started the longboard without warning, ramming Duncan’s face -right into the the tunnel at the beginning of the course-.
Various grunts of pain could be heard coming through the course, until Duncan flew out straight onto the concrete, while Trent smoothly sailed out on the longboard.
“2 minutes flat! Not bad, not bad.” Chris said.
“Ugh…” Duncan groaned.
“Team Failure, you’re up!”Chris announced.
Bridgette and Justin sat on the longboard at the top of the course. Bridgette was standing on the longboard, trying to test out the aerodynamics. “Hmm...it seems kinda like surfing…” Bridgette said.
“Sweetie, just let me take the reins.” Justin said, as he flexed. He then looked forward with extreme determination. He continued to stare. “Side note, how do you start this thing?” Bridgette rolled her eyes and started the longboard. Bridgette and Justin flew through the course and came out at the end.
“Wow, 1 minute 3 seconds. Impressive.” Chris smiled.
Alejandro sighed. “In due time, in due time…” he muttered.
“And it’s all thanks to me!” Justin smiled.
Bridgette (CONF): You know, I used to like Justin…..back before he talked. Those were just simpler times.
Gwen and Heather sat on the longboard. “Just follow my lead, and we’ll be fine.” Heather announced.
Gwen rolled her eyes. “Who died and made you Queen of Jamaica?”
“Don’t make me rip your helmet off.” Heather threatened.
“Stop arguing and go!” Courtney yelled up. Gwen started the longboard and lots of banging was heard throughout the course. Gwen and Heather were shot out, both looking dazed.
Chris checked the time. “3 minutes, 36 seconds...aka not good. You guys are lucky you had an advantage. Even with that advantage, Team Failure is still winning! You guys sit in second place, and Team Chris is bringing up the rear and is going to elimination if a miracle doesn’t happen and the other teams don’t screw up more.”
Noah and Geoff sat at the top of the course. “Dude, are you sure you’re okay?” Noah asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah dude, I’m--” Geoff convulsed. “Fine!”
Noah’s eyes widened as Geoff started the longboard. The two tumbled through the course and eventually came out, looking completely confused.
“Three minutes, 59 seconds. Pretty sad.” Chris said.
Alejandro sighed. “At least we know who’s going home.” Duncan said while staring at Noah who gulped.
“Team Failure, you’re up next!” Chris said.
Justin and Leshawna begna walking to the top of the course. Before Justin could get on the stairs, Alejandro stopped him and said. “Good luck, it seems to me that you’re the strongest competitor in this game. Just do not let it go to your head.”
Justin scoffed as he climbed up the stairs. “‘Let it go to my head?’ Who does he think he is? He’s just a reject version of me!”
Justin sat on the longboard. “I’ll show him, I’ll show EVERYONE!” Justin hollered as he started the longboard.
“Wait, I’m not on ye-AHHHH!” Leshawna screamed as she held onto the back.
The 13 contestants on the ground cringed as they heard the extremely loud banging coming from inside the course. Suddenly, Justin and Leshawna came upon a loose plank, when Leshawna landed on it and it shifted, sending Justin right through the tunnel and flying away
“And that’s an incomplete for Team Failure! Which means…..they’re today’s losers!” Chris chuckled. DJ and Bridgette sighed as Eva picked up a palm tree and threw it out of rage.
“Glad to see you’re all taking it well. Sadly, no amount of thrown trees will stop one of you from being the next person voted off. Have fun with that!” Chris said as he walked away along with the contestants.
Leshawna was still hanging from the course. “Um, HELLO? Can someone HELP?!” she screamed.
Team Failure sat at the elimination ceremony, looking dejected.
“Team Failure. You’re certainly living up to your name, I mean two eliminations in a row, there’s only gonna be 4 of you left after this vote….pretty sad, huh?” Chris smiled.
“Can we just vote?” Justin asked, covered in bandages.
Eva (CONF): *angrily stamps passport*
Justin (CONF): *attemps to stamp passport, falls over.*
“And the votes are in! I’ll read em.” Chris said, holding up the passports.
“One for Leshawna.” Justin whistled innocently.
“One for Eva.” Leshawna whistled innocently.
“Justin, Justin and…...Justin! Sorry bro, you’re out.” Chris said.
“What!” Justin said, in disbelief. “But...I’m the leader! I’m the hot guy! I’m in an alliance with Eva!”
“Not the leader.” Leshawna said.
“Not that hot.” Bridgette added.
“And I hate you.” Eva said, with a completely straight -face.
Justin sighed. “Where am I supposed to go?”
“In the words of an immortal saying- you don’t have to go home, but ya can’t stay here!” Chris chuckled before kicking him out of the plane. Chef then chased him away with a spear.
“And that’s 14 left! -What will happen next? Will Team Failure stop failing? And how are we gonna get out of here? Find out on the next Total….Drama…..World Tour!”
Chapter Twelve- Revenge of the Telethon
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour. we took a nice vacation to Jamaica mon! Our contestants did a little cliff diving, which was an electrifying time. But Alejandro started diving right into the game by aligning with Duncan! Geoff and Bridgette got a shocking surprise, but the real surprise was when Alejandro boosted Justin’s ego so big until it burst into a big explosion of failure, sending him flying out of the plane! Now, only 14 remain. Who will go home next? Find out, right here, right now, on Total...Drama...World Tour!” Chris announced
“What do you mean ‘who’ll go home next’. Have you forgotten we’re stuck here?” Heather yelled.
“Yeah Chris, it’s been two days! There’s only so much of Chef’s gross airplane food left!” Gwen cried.
“Food is a strong word.” Trent muttered. Gwen chuckled and Trent smiled.
Gwen (CONF): Things between me and Trent are pretty normal. It’s cool to be able to talk again.
Trent (Cockpit CONF): It’s really cool that me and Gwen can just be friends again. Things were so weird between us for so long, it’s nice that we can act like normal people again.
“Someone’s not over it.” Chef said a sing-songy voice.
“Why are you in the cockpit if the plane’s not flying anywhere?” Trent asked.
“Uhhhh….use the other confessional!” Chef yelled
“Yeah Chris, do you have a plan to get us out of here?” Courtney asked.
“I’m too young to die!” DJ yelled.
“Listen, nobody is dying!” Chris announced. “Don’t worry, we have a plan.”
“Emergency helicopter?” Tyler asked.
“An actual working plane?” Noah asked.
“A certified pilot?” Alejandro asked.
“Nope. A telethon!” Chris announced. “The Total Drama fans will fund us to get our plane fueled!”
“Are you KIDDING me?” Heather said.
Heather (CONF): A telethon is the best he could come up with! Are you kidding! There are easily some people here who could be sacrificed for money!
“Wow, of all your bad ideas over the years, this might be the WORST! Congratulations!” Gwen announced.
“Wait, no. This could actually work. There are hundreds of Total Drama fan blogs out there. If them, and all their parents donate, we could do this!” Sierra cheered.
Sierra (CONF) *typing furiously* I’m talking to RedmondTotalDrama right now so he can tweet about it! This is gonna be the new hottest thing!
The scene changed to Chris in a suit while the contestants sat at a long table, each with a phone. “Welcome to the first annual Total Drama telethon!” Chris announced.
“Where’d he get the suit?” Duncan thought out loud.
“Our 14 contestants and most importantly, me are stranded out here in the unforgiving wilderness of Jamaica.” Chris began to shed a tear.
“Actually, it’s a pretty nice beach.” Geoff smiled.
“Shut IT.” Chris said through gritted teeth. “Our teens are completely famished and exhausted.”
“Not anymore than on a regular day.” Eva grunted.
“Please, if you have any heart- donate to the cause and help us get out!” Chris begged.
“Now?” DJ asked.
“Dude, you’ve gotta work on your timing.” Geoff said.
“Don’t worry everyone, I can perform an emotional solo that’ll surely get the phone lines buzzing. Ohhhh please take us hooooooome-” Courtney began.
Chris turned to the contestants. “Everyone has to sing! And make it emotional. Think We Are The World, but different.”
Courtney: This show, you need to save. This show you’ve gotta tell this show….that you care.
Geoff: Jamaica, we’re trapped down in….Jamaica, we can’t even Ja-party! It’s so unfair!
Gwen: You gotta help now, we’re on the brink!
Heather: The crew gets fired, if this ship sinks!
DJ: So make a difference….in our lives…..
All: Give us cash or this show dies!
Leshawna: Saaaaaaaaave this show, Total Drama!
Trent: Saaaaaaaaaaaave this show, you know you wanna!
All: Save the show that you love!
Bridgette: Saaaaaaaaaave this show, Total Drama!
Alejandro: Saaaaaave this show, so call the number!
Sierra: Save the show with loooooove, and five hundred thousand dollars!
Tyler: Save the show baby….just give us some love…..give us some LOVE and some dough.
“Our contestants emotional song has raised the total tab of donations to…” Chris checked the counter “100,000 dollars!”
“Alright!” Geoff fist pumped.
“That means we still have 400,000 dollars to raise.” Gwen said.
“Aw, man….” Geoff sighed.
Bridgette (CONF): One of Geoff’s best qualities is that he always sees the bright side of things. That doesn’t really help when we’re left stranded on an island with little hope, but at least he’s positive!
Trent strummed his guitar and sang smoothly. “Saaaaaaave this show, Total Drama, saaaaaaaave this show, you know you wanna….saaave the show that you love.”
The donation counter suddenly started going up. Chris smiled and gave Trent a thumbs up.
Trent (CONF): No one can resist an acoustic version!
Trent continued to sing smoothly as the rest of the contestants clapped along. “Are your panties dropping?” Duncan whispered to Gwen, who laughed and then pushed him.
“Shut up!” she exclaimed. “We’re just friends.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Courtney popped up in between them. Both Gwen and Duncan looked at each other awkwardly.
“So...what do you think?” Leshawna said, walking up to Gwen.
“Can everyone stop?” Gwen yelled, walking away.
“She’s so into him.” Duncan chuckled.
Gwen (Cockpit CONF): Me and Trent are just friends. I’ not sure getting back together is really...the best idea after what happened on the film lot. I’m sure there are other girls for him, and there are other guys for me.
“Ooooh, what guys?” Chef asked.
“You’re so lucky the other confessional’s a toilet.” Gwen said.
Trent began to trail off. “Why are you stopping?” Chris asked angrily.
“Dude, this song has one verse and one chorus. There’s only so much I could do.” Trent said.
Chris groaned. “Alright, our raised money counter is up to….” The counter changed numbers. “$175,000! Less than half…..great….” Chris said putting his head in his hands..
“Anyone have any ideas?” Bridgette asked.
“You should let me do sports tricks, Chris! I know the people at home will love that!” Tyler cheered as he began dribbling a coconut, trying to send it through his legs, but instead hitting himself in the private parts.”
The counter went up to 180,000. “Huh.” Chris said. He then began throwing random objects at Tyler as the counter continued to go up.
“Now, THIS is desperation.” Gwen said.
Just as Tyler got hit in the head with a sink, the counter hit 200,000. “Nice!” Chris cheered.
“I’m okay!” Tyler said from the floor.
“Ooh, you should let me read my burn book!” Heather said excitedly. “I’ve been practicing my roasts.” She cleared her throat. “What’s whiter- mayonaise or Gwen? There’s only one big strong man left on Team Failure….and his name is Eva! There are terms and conditions more interesting than Trent. Courtney is why no one wants a woman to be president. Noah looks like--” Sierra grabbed Heather and began carrying her away, as the counter went up to 250,000.
“Ahhh, another contestant with a golden wit. Very hard to find.” Alejandro said, and winked. Heather stared him down.
Heather (CONF): I don’t trust Alejandro as far as I can throw him! Sure he may be spanish and charming and indescribably hot, but there is something sneaky and fake under that exterior! Wait...what did I just say he was?
“Has Alejandro really resorted to flirting with Heather?” Noah said, with a raised eyebrow.
Leshawna shook her head. “I have got ZERO trust for that boy. Look at the pattern...he starts talking to Bridgette, her game gets messed up. He starts talking to me, I go nuts. And he starts talking to Justin, and everyone votes him off over Eva!” Something is NOT right.”
Noah (CONF): Other people don’t trust Alejandro either? Oh my god, this is the best day of my life! *begins tearing up* I just...never thought it would happen.
“Dude, none of this stuff is working!” Duncan said, sticking his knife into the beach. “And I sorta don’t want to die here.”
“Do YOU have any ideas?” Trent asked pointedly.
“Yeah. We need to give people what they want to watch if we want these donations- comedy!” Duncan elbowed Noah in the stomach, and he keeled over.
The counter went up to 275,000. “See? Hilarious!” Duncan said.
Courtney (CONF): Sometimes when Duncan does something bad, I wanna run up to him and rip off his clothes right there….and sometimes I just want to roll my eyes and tell on him to the teacher. Huh. That’s love, I guess!
Leshawna ran in dramatically. “Alright everyone, I’ve prepared a little something!” she announced.
“Didn’t we already do a song for this episode?” Alejandro asked, looking at Chris.
“I will never turn down another musical number!” Chris said, sitting with Chef in foldable chairs, ready to watch.
“DJ, Bridgette, come help me out. This is a song for the biggest liar left in the game!” Leshawna announced. Heather gulped. “...Alejandro!”
Heather (CONF): People are finally on to Alejandro, and I’m officially not the biggest liar anymore? Best plane crash ever!
Leshawna: You think you got me good, okay, maybe you did. You think you rule the game, I guess. But you don’t rule a thing cause baby you a squid, who’s gone and made a nasty mess!
Leshawna: You lied right to my face and messed up my head...now ain’t that just the way with men? *turns to camera* Not you, Harold! I know just how to do it...oh brother’s going down! And won’t be getting up again!
Chris: *counter goes up to 350,000: Yes!
Leshawna: Sisters, come together now and take him down! Sisters, come together now and sort him out! Sisters, come together now, make him see what we're all about, whoah-oh! Sisters, come together now, show what's what! Sisters, come together now, help me strut! Sisters, come together now, make him see what we're all about! Oh, revenge!
Leshawna was still dancing….interestingly “Ooh, I’m feeling myself!” she called out.
“Can’t say the same.” Duncan muttered.
“I have to twoot this! #AlejandroExposedParty” Sierra quickly typed something on her phone, before Chris walked by and took it.
“Wow, we’re up to 400,000!” DJ pointed out.
“Seems like even the audience was waiting for him to get thrown under the bus.” Noah smirked.
Leshawna was twerking. “I appreciate the sentiment of “screw Al”, but can the dancing stop now?” Heather asked.
Alejandro stood up with tears in his eyes. “I can’t do this anymore!” he cried. The music stopped as he walked up to Bridgette and Leshawna.
“Listen, ladies I apologize with my whole heart for what I did to you. I have been a disgusting flirtatious cassanova in this game. This is not how I am normally, however…my girlfriend of two years, Rosa, broke up with me just as the game started I have just been looking for someoen to fill the void left by mi amor.” Alejandro said, while crying in his hands.
“Alejandro…” Bridgette began.
“We had no idea!” Leshawna said.
“Do you guys really believe him?” Noah raised an eyebrow.
Alejandro ugly cried.
“No man does that on national television for no reason.” Duncan said. Geoff and Tyler nodded.
“I would love nothing more than your forgiveness.” Alejandro knelt to the ground.
“You have it.” Bridgette said, as she and Leshawna hugged Alejandro.
“Has this shocking revelation put us over the edge?” Chris asked. He then looked at the counter and saw it on 450, 000. “Ugh, really!” he cried.
“Chris, the fans don’t watch Total Drama for heartwarming moments. We watch for the totally dramatic blindsides, betrayals, and twists!” Sierra said.
Chris looked at her. “You know...you’re right! People watch this show to see you people get tortured!”
“Gee, thanks.” Noah said.
Chris turned to the camera. “If we get to 500,000- I’ll unleash a new twist on the contestants that has NEVER happened on Total Drama before!” The counter immediately went to 500,000.
The 14 remaining contestants cheered, celebrated, and hugged. “We did it!” Courtney cheered.
“We’re not gonna die here!” DJ hi fived Geoff.
“But….what’s this about a twist?” Heather said. Everyone stopped celebrating and looked at Chris, who smiled evilly.
The contestants all stood in a line, holding wooden Chris heads. “Do you just have these lying around?” Gwen questioned.
“Don’t look into it. Alright, on the count of 3. You’re gonna crack your head open and see what’s inside!” Chris announced. “1...2...3!”
Everyone threw their heads on the ground. Almost everyone’s was empty.
Gwen pulled out a pink slip from her head. “What does this mean?” she asked.
Eva pulled out a blue slip from hers. “Yeah McLean, I better get some ANSWERS!” Eva yelled.
“Woah, relax! The pink slip means you’re the new team pcaptain of Team Cody, and blue means you’re the new captain of Team Chris!” Chris announced. Everyone gasped.
Sierra (CONF): O M G, I can’t believe I was indirectly responsible for Total Drama’s first team switch! My online friends are gonna freak when this airs!
The other 12 contestants stood in a line while Gwen and Eva stood on pink and blue mats. “We’re going schoolyard pick style. You pick someone, that person picks the next someone, so on and so forth. Gwen, you’re up first!”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this but...Courtney.” Gwen said. Courtney smiled and walked over to the pink mat.
Gwen (CONF): When I had to pick someone, it hit me that Courtney is my best friend left in the game *shudders* This is weird.
“Alejandro.” Eva said gruffly. Alejandro walked over to Eva, smiling.
Eva (CONF): The old Team Failure was weak. Team Chris never lost- I want that sort of power on my side.
“Duncan!” Courtney cheered. Duncan walked over and the two kissed.
Alejandro surveyed the remaining contestants “Tyler.” he said.
“That’s the exact opposite of picking a competitor.” Eva grumbled to Alejandro.
Alejandro (CONF): Tyler is the one person I know is completely loyal to me. I just have to make sure that this team switch ends up in my favor.
“Geoff.” Duncan said, as the two fist-bumped.
“Uhhhh……’ Tyler looked at the remaining 7 contestants. “Noah, I guess.”
Alejandro (CONF): Ah, and my nemesis ends up on the same team as me yet again, just in time for me to crush him out of this game. This will be fun.
“Bridgette!” Geoff cheered, as the two began making out.
“Save it for the plane.” Heather scoffed.
“Uhh...DJ.” Noah said. DJ’s face dropped.
DJ (CONF): I was so excited to get away from Eva…I hope she doesn’t force me to do stuff again...she’s so scary….
“Leshawna.” Bridgette smiled. Bridgette and Leshawna high fived.
“Trent.” DJ said, as he walked over smiling.
Leshawna looked at the two remaining contestants and laughed. “This is easy. Sierra!” she said, as Sierra squealed and ran over.
“Seriously? Last picked? I’m less useful than Sierra….Noah...TYLER?” Heather yelled.
“Hey!” Tyler said as Heather stomped over to the blue mat.
“And there we have our new teams. The new Team Cody: Gwen, Courtney, Duncan, Geoff, Bridgette, Leshawna, and Sierra! Facing off against the new Team Chris: Eva, Alejandro, Tyler, Noah, DJ, Trent, and Heather!” Chris announced.
“Plane’s all fueled up!” Chef called.
“My PLANE!” Chris cheered excitedly, running and hugging one of its wings. “First team in gets first class!” The 14 remaining contestants all began to trample each other.
The scene flashed to the new Team Cody in first class. “You know, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I can’t find immediate faults with this team!” Courtney smiled.
“Yeah, this switch actually turned out pretty awesome.” Duncan said
“Yeah, dudes! We can ride this team all the way to the merge without a loss!” Geoff cheered. The 7 then put their hands in and cheered “Go team!”
Gwen (CONF): This might be one of the best teams I’ve been on in my Total Drama career! The worst person is probably Sierra, and she’s not even that bad, just a little weird! *picks up a picture* Although she REALLY needs to stop leaving her Cody pictures all over the place.
Eva stood over the new Team Chris in economy class. “Here’s how this is gonna work- I’m NOT gonna stand for this team losing. So every morning, we’ll wake up at 7 and do our team workouts.”
Heather laughed. Eva stared at her. “Oh, you’re serious?” she said.
“And remember the cardinal rule of the new Team Chris...whatever I say GOES!” Eva stamped her foot.
“Yes, Eva.” The other 6 team members said, and then shuffled to seats.
“Better start working on your crunches.” Alejandro whispered to Heather as he walked to the confessional. Heather sighed.
Alejandro (CONF): My ex-girlfriend Rosa does exist….of course she did not break up with me, I dumped her right before I came on the show. I knew it would be much better if I came in single and ready to mingle. And now with my sympathy cry, everyone in the game trusts me….except Noah and Heather. Who are both on my new team and ripe to be picked off. *laughs* Everything’s going as planned.
“How deliciously evil! I like that kid! It’s a whole new game now! Will Team Cody keep being a happy family? Will Team Chris implode? And will anyone finally vote out Heather? Find out next time on Total...Drama….World Tour!” Chris signed off.
Chapter Thirteen- I See London...
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, we held a telethon to get the money to continue the season. And thanks to contributions from viewers like you, we got the money to get back in the air! We’re back on track folks, on track to land in England this afternoon! Who will have to say pip-pip cheerio? Find out, right here, right now, on Total Drama World Tour!” Chris signed in.
The ceiling in economy class leaked on Noah’s head. “Ugh, this place is gross.” Noah complained.
“I agree.” Alejandro sighed. “I miss first class.”
“Ugh. For once, I’m on your side.” Heather said.
“The difference is, my team was actually IN first class at one point.” Alejandro chuckled. Heather glared back.
“I’m used to it.” DJ shrugged.
DJ (CONF): We lost a lot of challenges. Economy class has become like a little home for me!
A rat crawled up DJ’s leg. “Awww, how you doin’, Ronnie?” DJ said, scratching it on the head.
“You NAMED it?” Heather said, disgusted.
Heather (CONF): I can’t believe I went from running my team to being stuck with Team Freak! I need to find a way to get some alliances on this team, because I know that sneaky spaniard Alejandro is lying about his ex-girlfriend. That is a blatant sob story if I’ve ever seen one!
In first class, Geoff and Bridgette sat next to each other, with a full pancake breakfast spread in front of them.
Bridgette cut up a piece of pancake and held up to Geoff’s mouth. “Here comes the airplane!” she called.
“Choo-choo!” Geoff exclaimed, as she put the pancakes in her mouth.
“That’s...not the sound an airplane makes.” Gwen said.
Geoff (CONF): Finally getting to be on the same team as Bridgette is sweet! We can finally just be a couple with nothing to stop us. It’s tight!
“Can I eat now?” Duncan asked Courtney.
“Riiiiiiight now!” Courtney said. “I had to finish separating all of the different components of breakfast.”
Courtney (CONF): You can’t have your bacon and pancakes touching! That’s just insanity.
“It’s like I’m on the world’s worst double date.” Leshawna sighed.
“I never thought I’d say this, but it’s the middle of the afternoon, why have we not had a challenge yet?” Gwen asked.
“Final 14 victims, meet in economy class!” Chris said over the PA.
“You just haaaad to say something.” Leshawna said.
“Yeah, that’s my bad.” Gwen conceded.
Chris stood in front of the two teams. “Ahh….it feels good to be back in the air.” Chris smiled. “And in 15 minutes, we’ll be landing in our next location- London, England!”
Gwen beamed. “London!”
“Awesome!” Bridgette cheered
“And if you wanted to see all of the great attractions like Big Ben and the London Eye….come back another time, cause we’re not going to any of em!” Chris announced. The cast groaned.
“So where are we actually going?” Heather questioned.
“To the dark, grimy underbelly of London.” Chris announced.
“Now THAT’S more my speed.” Duncan noted.
“We’re solving the case of never-caught criminal: Jack...The Ripper!” Chris announced, as thunder flashed behind him. DJ jumped into Eva’s arms.
“Isn’t Jack the Ripper like, super dead?” Trent asked.
“Yeah, he was alive in the 1800s.” Courtney said.
“Don’t make a fuss about logistics.” Chris said. “Just get ready for landing!”
Team Chris stood in a huddle. “Do you guys think this is gonna be a...s-s-scary challenge?” DJ shuddered.
“It doesn’t MATTER what kind of challenge it is. We’ll be WINNING.” Eva announced.
Eva (CONF): DJ’s almost my perfect ally. If only he was less of a wimp…..I can probably beat it out of him.
DJ (CONF): I’m not scared! I’m just a little on-edge, that’s all! Ha ha...ha ha….*starts quietly sobbing*
The camera to a map showing the plane trip from Jamaica to London, then cut to the contestants outside of the plane. “Welcome to the Tower of London!” Chris announced, as the contestants looked around in awe.
“Wow.” Gwen said, looking around staring at the architecture.
Gwen (CONF): You know, getting a free trip around the world IS pretty cool. Wish it didn’t include 13 other people and Chris McLean, but hey.
“Woah, Bridge look. It’s the british guard gus.” Geoff ran up to the Buckingham Palace guards and waved. “Sup dude!”
“Geoff, they have guns.” Courtney commented.
“Really?” Geoff asked. “You think they’d let me borrow it?”
“Those expertly dressed fellows will be the first part of your challenge!” Chris announced. “Well, expertly dressed for now.”
“What does THAT mean?” Heather asked.
“We’re here at the Tower of London, so you can find the first clue to Jack the Ripper’s true identity!” Lightning flashed behind Chris as DJ cowered.
“We know Jack the Ripper’s identity: dead.” Duncan said.
“Alright, buzzkills. Your first clue can be found somewhere in the palace guard’s costumes...but you’ll have to strip them to get to it!” Chris announced.
“WHAT?” All 14 contestants said at once.
Heather (CONF): I hope to leave this show with at least a shred of my dignity, and stripping an old man is definitely not contributing to that hope!
“We have to strip them?” Courtney asked incredulously.
“Of course, we could just go back in the plane and have both teams lose the challenge…” Chris grinned evilly.
“Let’s strip this old coot!” Eva declared determinedly, as the rest of her team weakly cheered behind her.
“Oh, and just to make it a little more fun…” Chris smirked.
The contestants all groaned.
Trent: It’s creepy how they stand there, and don’t even blink! I don’t want to see his butt all naked and pink!
DJ: Hey buddy, can we bribe you to strip yourself down?
Tyler: Yum-yum, happy go-time fish?
Noah: Don’t kill him, you clown!
Courtney: No way, I can’t strip him! Duncan will freak!
Leshawna: And I’m….allergic to uniforms?
Gwen: Okay, that’s just weak.
Sierra: I can only strip Cody, and he can only strip me! (Geoff and Bridgette point at each other)
“So that means I have to do it? Where’s the teamwork? Hey!” Gwen cried as Courtney pushed her.
Courtney: If we’re gonna find that clue…..
Bridgette: There’s only one thing to do….
Courtney: Force someone to strip em down!
Bridgette, Leshawna, Courtney, Geoff, Duncan, and Sierra:: And sorry Gwen, that’s you!
Noah: If we’re gonna find that clue…
Alejandro: There’s only one thing to do….
Tyler: Force someone to strip them down!
Noah, Alejandro, Tyler, Eva, Trent, and Heather: And DJ, dude that’s you!
Gwen: Sierra, look, it’s Cody! (Camera pans to a badly disguised palace guard) And I think he wants to strip!
Sierra: Really? Quick, get out of that thing, and that’ll help I bet!
Bridgette: Yeah, we’re gonna find that clue.
Gwen: We’re doing what Chris proposed!
Leshawna: Force someone to strip em down!
Bridgette, Gwen, and Leshawna: Cause if we don’t we’re hosed!
Courtney: Totally hooooo-oooooo-ooooooosed!!
“Show off.” Leshawna muttered.
Sierra was throwing clothes off the guard quickly. “She doesn’t waste any time, does she?” Bridgette said with wide eyes.
“Nope.” Gwen said, looking in horror.
DJ slowly approached the palace guard. “Ughh….” he groaned.
“MOVE IT!” Heather yelled as DJ ran the rest of the way.
Eva (CONF): I can’t believe I’m saying this but….I like her style.
DJ slowly moved his arm and took off the guard’s hat. There was an envelope under it. “Oh, hey!” DJ smiled.
Eva grabbed the envelope and opened it. “Head to the place where Anne Boelyn was held for your next clue? What?”
“Where Anne Boelyn was held….the tower’s torture chamber!” Noah announced.
Noah (CONF): I take AP European History. Who said knowing about lots of dead historical figures from a continent you don’t live on has no applications in the real world?
“Alright! Let’s go!” Eva announced, as her team began running into the tower.
Trent ran past a street performer with his back turned and an empty guitar case filled with change.
Trent dropped a coin in the case. “Respect the cause, man.” Trent smiled.
The street performer then turned around quickly and could only be seen as a silhouette in a cape. He slammed the guitar case down on Trent’s hand.
“Ahhh!” Trent screamed as the mysterious figure shoved him into a sack.
The guard was in his underwear. “Where is this clue?” Sierra asked. She stared at his underwear. “Do I have to strip him that far?” she gulped.
Gwen took off the guard’s hat and the envelope was on his head under it. “SERIOUSLY?” Sierra cried.
“Head to the place where Anne Boelyn was held….” Gwen read.
“The tower torture chamber!” Gwen, Courtney, and Sierra all exclaimed at once.
“AP European History.” Courtney bragged.
“I just look up a lot of torture chambers.” Gwen shrugged. Gwen turned to Sierra. “How did you know?”
Sierra (CONF): Anne Boelyn was beheaded for love! How romantic is that! I would never refuse to give Cody sons...on the other hand, I wouldn’t behead him either
“Let’s go!” Courtney cried. Team Cody ran off.
Team Chris walked into the torture chamber. It was dark and scary and torture chamber-esque. “I didn’t think this place would be so….” water dripped onto Noah’s head. “...authentic.” he groaned.
“I-it’s horrifying…” DJ shuddered. A bat flew by and he shrieked and jumped into Eva’s arms.
‘Be a man!” she cried as she dropped him.
Heather stopped in her tracks and looked back at her team. “Okay, I know he’s forgettable, but where’s Trent?” The team looked around.
“Do you think he got captured by the Ripper?” Tyler asked, looking around, scared.
“Oh no…” DJ said faintly.
“It doesn’t matter! We’re ahead of the other team and we need to stay that way! Let’s go!” Eva cried running further into the chamber. Everyone else did the same until they came upon a torture rack.
“Strap one of your teammates in to this authentic Victorian torture device and crank to get your next clue.” Noah read, horrified..
The six teammates looked at each other. Finally, Alejandro spoke “ I think we should do this democratically.”
The camera flashed to Heather strapped into the device. “What the heck!” she cried. “Come on, guys, let’s reconsider! Tyler, think of all the good times we had together!”
“I think that’s the first time you’ve ever said my name.” Tyler said. Heather groaned.
“Don’t worry. It’ll only be torturous.” Alejandro smiled as he and Eva began to crank.
“How dare you. I hate yoOOOOUUUUU!” Heather screamed as she began to be stretched.
“This is kinda fun, actually.” Eva smiled through Heather’s screams.
“I agree!” Alejandro smiled.
“Not...for...ME!” Heather screamed.
“Do it for the team!” Noah smiled.
“Yeah! EXTREME!” Tyler yelled.
“Just…..one…..more!” Alejandro cranked, as the chamber with the envelope finally opened.
“Yes!” Eva cheered, grabbing the envelope and opening it.
“Go to the place where meals are eaten.” Noah read. “These are really bad clues.”
“The banquet hall?” DJ said.
“That makes sense!” Eva said. “Let’s go!” The team ran off while Heather was still on the rack.
“Um, hello! Can someone help me!” Heather cried.
“I’m still here!” Alejandro said, beginning to unty Heather from the rack.
“Ugh, gross. I think I’ll stay being tortured.” Heather rolled her eyes.
“Why so hostile, muchacha?” Alejandro asked while untying Heather from the rack. “We do not have to continue feuding- we’re teammates now!”
“I still don’t trust you, that’s why!” Heather bagan to pathetically mock Alejandro. “Oh, my ex-girlfriend dumped me and now I flirt with everyone, woe is me!”
“I don’t appreciate you mocking me like this.” Alejandro grumbled.
“I don’t appreciate you lying to the whole team!” Heather retorted as Alejandro finally untied her.
“A thank you would be nice.” Alejandro rolled his eyes.
Heather sat up. “Thanks, I gue--” A figure in a cape quickly grabbed Alejandro and Heather.
“Let’s pick up the pace! We’re behind!” Courtney announced.
“I think we’re aware.” Leshawna muttered.
‘“Strap one of your team members to this authentic Victorian torture device and crank to get your next clue…” Duncan read and cringed. “Um, who’s crazy enough to do this?”
The scene cut to Sierra in the torture device. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Gwen sked.
“Anything for the team!” Sierra smiled.
Sierra (CONF): Being on Total Drama has been my dream for so long! I want to go all the way, and if a torture rack is what stands between me and that million, strap me in!
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Sierra screamed as Gwen and Duncan cranked.
Courtney covered her ears. “Does she have to screech like that?”
Leshawna shrugged. “As long as I don’t have to be on that rack, she can scream all she wants.”
The chamber with the envelope finally opened. “Yes!” Duncan cheered, as he and Gwen hi-fived.
Courtney untied Sierra from the rack. “Woo...hoo….” Sierra attempted to cheer as she wobbeled after standing, eventually falling over.
“Head to the place where meals are eaten.” Courtney read.
“Banquet hall?” Sierra suggested weakly from the ground.
“Yes! Let’s go!” Courtney said.
“Wait a second… Duncan said, as the girls stopped running ahead. “Where are Geoff and Bridgette?” The whole team began to look around.
Geoff and Bridgette wandered up a flight of stairs. “Are you sure we shouldn’t be back with the team?” Bridgette asked.
“Babe, don’t worry about it.” Geoff reassured.
“I really think we should go ba--” They opened the door to a master bedroom. “....oh WOW.”
“See, I told ya!” Geoff said smiling as he and Bridgette ran to the bed. They laid down and began to kiss when the caped figure approached them.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Team Chris ran into the banquet hall. “Come on, hustle! Find the next clue!” Eva demanded.
Noah panted. “Did we have to run the whole way here?” he groaned.
“It’s good exercise, bro. Feel the burn!” Tyler said as he dropped to the ground and started doing push ups. Noah rolled his eyes.
DJ stopped in his tracks. “Wait….where are Heather and Alejandro?”
“Oh, that’s why I felt so at ease.” Noah deadpanned.
“They probably got captured by the Ripper!” Tyler said, looking nervous.
“We’re gonna be neeeeext!” DJ cried. He then curled up into the fetal position.
“Get a hold of yourselves!” Eva yelled as she stomped on DJ’s toes and slapped Tyler simultaneously.
“Wow, that was actually impressive.” Noah commented.
“This is a challenge. Obviously Chris is just trying to scare us….or something.” Eva said, attempting to hide the fear in her voice.
“Exactly. Plus how much help was Heather going to be anyway?” Noah commented. “And the less time I have to spend with that latin weasel Alejandro, the better.”
“What do you have against Al?” Tyler asked as he looked under the table.
“He’s sneaky, slippery, and slimy. Like Heather, but worse.” Noah said, as he looked under a dish.
“Less talking, more looking.” Eva delegated, sticking her hand in a bowl of baked beans and pulling out an envelope. “Yes!”
Eva opened the envelope and read it out loud. “Head to a popular British two-level staple? What does that mean?”
DJ was tasting the quiche. “Could be those double-decker buses? Those are popular and have two levels.” DJ recoiled. “They did NOT bake that right.”
“Yeah, that makes sense.” Noah said.
“To the bus lot!” Eva declared. Eva, Noah and DJ ran out of the room. Tyler ran behind them, but tripped and fell on his face.
“Hey guys, wait up!” Tyler called to his team, already out of the room.
Tyler then began to feel himself being dragged somewhere by his feet. “Guys…..oh no….”
Team Cody ran into the banquet hall. “The other team was here already!” Courtney complained.
“We have to find this clue fast!” Gwen added.
Leshawna took a necklace out of a goblet filled with royal jewelery and put it on. “Ooooh, Leshawna is feeling fly!”
Courtney quickly snatched it off her neck. “We don’t have time to be trying on ‘bling’. Search for the clue!”
“Um, Look at what your boyfriend is doing.” Leshawna rolled her eyes as the Camera panned to Duncan, who was carving a skull in the wall with a knife.
“Are you kidding me?” Courtney said, walking over to Duncan.
“How many international landmarks will I get to vandalize in life!” Duncan whined.
Leshawna (CONF): Eva to Courtney….it’s one control freak to another. At least this one doesn’t make us do team ab workouts. *sighs*
“Found it!” Sierra cried, holding up a damp envelope.
“How’d you do that so easily?” Gwen asked.
“It’s Britain. Everything’s in the custard.” Sierra answered. Gwen shrugged.
Sierra opened the envelope and Courtney snatched the clue from her. “Head to a popular two-level British staple.”
“I know where it is!” Duncan and Sierra cried at once.
“Those double-decker buses!” Sierra exclaimed. “They’re super popular, and have two levels!”
“Um, no it’s The Castle in Whitechapel.” Duncan rolled his eyes.
“A castle?” Leshawna raised an eyebrow.
“Not A Castle. THE Castle! It’s a concert venue where all the awesome grunge bands play, and it has two levels. And, Whitechapel is where Jack the Ripper committed his murders.”
Duncan (CONF): What? I know my serial killers too.
“I don’t know, what Sierra said seems like it made a lot more sense to m-” Leshawna began.
“No, Duncan, you’re a genius! I would’ve never thought of Whitechapel!” Gwen ezclaimed.
“We can still win!” Courtney cheered. “Let’s go!”
Gwen, Duncan, and Courtney ran out of the banquet hall, followed by a dejected Sierra. Leshawna appeared to followed them but stopped once they all walked out of the door and ran back to the jewelery.
“They thought I was leaving without anything, ha!” Leshawna chuckled as she reached into the goblet for the necklace, but she felt another hand on it.
The remaining members of Team Chris ran into the bus lot, which held many vacant buses with the lights off. “Uh….I might;ve messed up on the clue.” DJ blushed.
“Speaking of messing up, where’s Tyler?” Noah asked. Eva and DJ looked around.
“He got captured to! We’re all gonna get captured! It’s the end times!” DJ cried.
“Hey, does that bus have the lights on?” Noah said, pointing to one in the corner of the lot, with its lights on and the doors open.
“Let’s go!” Eva said, as she and Noah started running. She then ran back and dragged DJ by his ear.
Duncan, Courtney, Gwen, and Sierra ran into The Castle. “Oh man, Der Schnitzel Kickers are playing!” Duncan cheered.
“But where’s the ripper?” Sierra asked.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that part.” Duncan said.
“He’s not here?!” Courtney cried. “Ugh! We cannot lose!”
“Hey, maybe if we can’t find a ripper….we can make our own….” Duncan said, looking at Sierra and evilly smirking.
DJ, Eva, and Noah walked onto the double decker bus. “Jack? Come out, come out wherever you are?” Noah called out.
“It’s quiet….too quiet.” Eva said. Suddenly, a group of guard docs jumped on Eva.
“OW!” she screamed as they bit her. Noah panickedly looked around, s the ripper grabbed him and began to drag him away.
“No, no!” he screamed. “DJ, it’s up to you! Save me!”
DJ passed out on the floor. “Thanks, DJ.” Noah rolled his eyes.
Eva charged and grabbed the ripper by the collar, freeing Noah. “Got you!” Eva smirked.
“Did you just physically fight all those dogs and win?” Noah asked with a raised eyebrow.
Eva shrugged. “Don’t judge me.”
The contestants all stood in first class. “Well, both teams had a jolly good search! And as you can see, all captured contestants were simply dragged back here for holding.”
“Although there was a shocking lack of concern for us.” Alejandro said.
“Yeah, what if we were actually getting attacked by a serial killer?” Trent said.
“But you weren’t, and that’s what matters!” Noah weakly smiled as Alejandro, Heather, Trent, and Tyler glared at him.
“Team Cody, what you got?” Chris asked.
“We present...Jack the Ripper!” Courtney said. Sierra walked up in a cape,hat mustache, and monocle.
“Ha ha ha ha! I am Jack the Ripper! I killed a bunch of people!” Sierra said, “menacingly”.
“Really?” Chris sighed. “So Team Cody didn’t win. Did Team Chris?”
“You bet we did!” Eva smiled, pushing the ripper to Chris.
Chris smiled. “I knew my namesake would make me proud. And now for the ripper’s identity….”
Chris took off the old man mask to reveal Ezekiel underneath. “Yo, yo, yo, what’s up homeslices?” Ezekiel asked.
“Ew!” Heather said, upon the reveal. Ezekiel was pimply and had grown a slight beard, and generally looked unkempt and gross.
“He was hiding in the cargo hold, and we decided if he was gonna freeload, he might as well do something for us!” Chris smiled. “And he did much better than an intern, and since we promised…..he’s coming back into the game!”
“WHAT?” All 14 contestants said at once.
“Yeah, yo! My elimination was straight-up bull! When they found me in the cargo hold, I threatened to sue the pants off Chris for sending me out without a vote. And now look, I’m back players!” Ezekiel cheered.
“EVERYONE has lawyers these days.” Chris complained. “What a drag. Anyway, Team Chris wins!” Team Chris cheered.
“And Team Cody, as your second place prize, you get Zeke, and a date with me at the elimination ceremony tonight.” Chris chuckled. “Have fun!”
Courtney opened her mouth to speak “And no, you cannot vote out Zeke.” Courtney closed her mouth disappointedly.
Team Cody, minus Sierra and Ezekiel sat in economy class. “I mean, it’s pretty simple. I hate to do it, but since Zeke’s immune, we have to vote for Sierra.” Courtney said. Everyone nodded in agreement.
“Great! Now it’s a plan that can NOT be deviated from. At all.” Courtney started at her teammates intensely. Duncan mimed a “cuckoo” sign to Gwen, who laughed.
Leshawna walked up to Bridgette. “Listen, I don’t feel right about getting rid of Sierra. Girl carried us through every part of that challenge!”
“I know.” Bridgette said. “It’s Duncan’s fault we lost, but we can’t vote him off.”
“Or can we?” Leshawna raised an eyebrow. “Zeke and Sierra get to vote too.”
“Yeah, but that’s only 4. We need 5.” Bridgette said.
“Don’t you have a boyfriend on this team?” Leshawna said.
“Yeah, but Geoff and Duncan are “bros”, or whatever. He’ll never vote him out.” Bridgette sighed. “Unless…..”
Gwen (CONF): Yeah, today’s vote seems pretty clear. Everyone on this team is cool, so we’re pretty much all agreeing to vote out Sierra this time and Zeke if we ever lose again. It’s so nice being with people I actually trust, like Courtney and Duncan and Le--
Duncan walked into Gwen’s confessional. “Sup?” he said.
“Do you often break into other people’s confessionals?” Gwen chuckled.
“Just yours.” Duncan smirked.
“I was just talking about you, and how it’s so good to have a team of non-psychos for once.” Gwen said, standing to meet Duncan at eye level.
“I mean, Courtney’s pretty psycho.” Duncan said.
Gwen laughed. “Hey, you’re not allowed to say that!”
Someone knocked on the bathroom door. Gwen and Duncan froze. “What do we do?” Gwen whispered.
“Maybe if we’re quiet they’ll go away.” Duncan muttered completely under his breath.
“I can’t hear what you’re saying.” Gwen whispered.
“Then lean in closer.” Duncan said, louder. He then grabbed Gwen’s back, leaned in and kissed her on the lips. She was taken aback at first, but then she reciprocated.
“This is ridiculous. I have to pee!” Trent said as he opened the bathroom door. He looked inside and his jaw dropped. Gwen opened her eyes after the kiss and saw him standing there, and her mouth dropped. Trent quickly ran away.
Gwen (Cockpit CONF): *staring at the ground in disbelief* What….just….happened?
“Well, new Team Cody. Welcome to your first elimination ceremony! You should hope you don’t have to see more of this gorgeous face, cause it means one of you is going home! It’s time to vote.” Chris announced.
Bridgette (CONF): *stamps passport sassily*
Courtney (CONF) *stamps passport and smiles*
Sierra (CONF): *stamps passport, then pulls a nail out of her pocket* Oh, lucky Cody’s toenail, help me stay!
Gwen (CONF): *staring at ground* What….just….happened?
“The votes are in!” Chris announced, while smiling. “We’ve got 1 for Sierra, 1 for Duncan…”Chris began reading the individual passports.
“Two for Sierra, two for Duncan…” Courtney glared at Ezekiel, who whistled. “Three for Sierra, three for Duncan, 1 for Courtney.”
“What?” Courtney cried.
Geoff (CONF): Bridgette told me she hated parties. Not cool, man!
“And the person taking the drop of shame tonight is……..Duncan!” Chris announced, smiling and holding a parachute.
“WHAT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!” Courtney said, standing up and yelling. “Duncan deserves to be here more than any of you! What did he do to you!”
“Cost us a challenge.” Leshawna muttered.
Duncan scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Whatever, screw this.” he said, while grabbing his parachute.
Courtne grabbed his hands. “I’m sorry.” she said, and they kissed.
“I’ll miss you.” Duncan said, while staring behind Courtney at Gwen, who once again looked at the floor.
“Later, losEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!” Duncan cried as he jumped out of the plane.
“Wow, a serial killer a return to the game, and a shocking elimination! All in a day’s work. Who will be taking the drop next time? Find out, next time on Total...Drama….World Tour!”
Chapter Fourteen- Greece's Pieces
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our contestants visited Great Britannia! We got to see the Changing of the Guard...literally! Heather and Sierra had a great time hanging out on a torture rack, and Team Cody had an even greater time losing the challenge due to Duncan’s bad directions. Heh heh. But they did get Ezekiel!” Chris laughed. “I know, what a crappy consolation prize! But the real action happened when Duncan smooched Gwen, but then Trent saw, and then Duncan got sent HOME! Drama-licious! Who will go for the gold this week? Who will get stuck with silver? And who won’t even place? Find out right here, right now, on Total Drama...World Tour!”
Team Chris sat in first class. A stewardess brought tea to Eva. “Oh, I could get used to this.” she sighed.
“I know, right?” Heather said getting a pedicure.
“Ahhh. Do you remember our first time in first class. Seems like so long ago.” Alejandro said. “Probably because we won so many times.”
“Ugh!” Heather groaned. “Could you go bother someone else?”
“You’re the most fun.” Alejandro smiled.
A full english breakfast was presented to DJ. “He began tearing up. “So….beautiful….”
DJ (CONF): Before the team switch, we lost so many challenges! Being back in first class is amazing, it doesn’t even feel real…...everything is perfect! I mean, except for Eva.
Trent stared at the ground. “Dude, are you okay?” Tyler asked.
“Oh...yeah….fine….” he muttered.
Trent (CONF): I saw Gwen and Duncan kiss last night….I don’t want to blow up their spot by telling anyone, but I don’t know how long I can keep this secret! Also….DUNCAN? REALLY?
In economy class, everyone was sitting awkwardly in silence. “Anyone seen any good movies lately?” Sierra offered.
“You two are monsters!” Courtney immediately jumped up and pointed at Bridgette and Leshawna.
“Woah!” Bridgette said, shocked.
“Monsters for playing the game?” Leshawna rolled her eyes. “Your boyfriend didn’t have immunity from being voted off?”
“Yeah, but we agreed on a plan! And you, so-called “nice girl, manipulating your boyfriend to vote for me!” Courtney screamed at Bridgette.
“Woah, I did NOT manipulate my boyfriend!” Bridgette stood and argued.
“Actually, you kinda did.” Geoff said. Bridgette turned and gasped.
Geoff (CONF); Bridgette got me to accidentally vote off one of my bros! Courtney IS a major buzzkill, but Duncan is cool!
“At least I have Gwen. She’s my only real friend!” Courtney stomped off.
Gwen stared into the camera, and then followed her. “Don’t worry….I’m here.” Gwen said, weakly.
Gwen (CONF): So I’m the only one Courtney trusts….after I kissed her boyfriend! It’s like the universe is trying to make me look a horrible person!
A map was show, with the plane flying from London to Greece.
The 14 contestants stood in the plane’s common area. The lights suddenly began flashing different colors. Chris ran into the area with a microphone “Let’s get ready to RUMBLE!” he yelled.
“What is happening?” Bridgette turned to Leshawna.
“I’m getting you pumped for the biggest sporting event of the year!” Chris announced, as air horns sounded.
“Woohoo!! Extreme!!!” Tyler cheered
“You don’t even know what we’re doing.” Noah said.
Eva switched the lights off and on, stopping the flashing. “What are we DOING?!” she said angrily.
“Boo, you guys are no fun!” Chris sighed. “We’re going to Athens, Greece to participate in the Total Drama World Tour Olympics!”
“ALRIGHT!” Eva cheered and flexed.
“Oh no….” Gwen said.
“We have to play in the olympics against She-Hulk?” Leshawna whispered to Bridgette, looking concerned.
“You’ll be competing in several different events to win medals. The team with the most medals at the end of the games will be the new Olympic champions. And one of the losers is getting thrown out of a plane!” Chris laughed. “You guys always find that less funny than I do.”
The scene cut to the contestants in front of a giant colosseum..”Wow….look at the design” Gwen marveled.
“Don’t get DISTRACTED.” Courtney said. “We’re here to dominate.” she then leaned in to whisper. “You’re the only one who has my back.” Gwen looked sheepish.
“Hate to admit be it, but she’s right. We’re gonna need motivation to beat that.” Eva was doing bicep curls with Noah.
Eva (CONF): I’ve been waiting for this challenge for weeks. I’ma junior Olympian- I’m halfway there already!These people… *flexes*...have no idea what they’re in for.
“Are you guys ready? NO slacking on this one!” Eva yelled at her team. DJ flinched.
DJ (CONF): Eva is a really strong leader! I wish she wasn’t horrifying, but nobody’s perfect!
“Our first olympic event takes place in that giant box!” Chris pointed to the giant glass box next to the contestants. “And it’s everyone’s favorite olympic event- retrieving a medal from a dangerous animal!”
“When was that an olympic event?” Heather complained.
“Never. But wouldn’t it be fun if it was?” Chris chuckled. “Anyway, one person from each team will be locked in this box, separated from everyone, and they’ll have to get the gold medal from the dangerous, feral boar!”
“Issa bear.” Chef said.
“Um….no I’m pretty sure it’s a boar. At least I think. I just asked for something kill-y. Anyway, fight the boar bear, get the gold medal, get a point! Who’s going up?” Chris asked
“I can do it.” Gwen smiled to her team.
Gwen (CONF): Separated from everyone else? That’s exactly what I need right now!
“I got this, guys.” Trent said to his team. “Might be nice to get some alone time.”
“Alright olympians, who’s up?” Chris asked. Gwen and Trent stepped forward and then stared at each other in horror.
“NO NO NO--”
“WAIT WAIT WAIT!” Gwen and Trent screamed as Chef shoved them into the box and then slammed the door.
Gwen and Trent stared at each other. “Trent, I--” Gwen began.
“Save it.” Trent said, walking away. “Maybe, let’s just not talk.”
“Really?” Trent glared at Chris who was on the outside.
Chris opened the door and called in, “And by the way, the walls are soundproof. So you can spill anything you want to say.” Chris left ad ten poked his head back in “Just saaaying.”
Trent: I know what you’re thinking, I’m thinking it too…
Gwen: I’m not sure what you’re thinking so maybe that’s true…
Trent: I can’t believe what happened- I hope you have regrets.
Gwen: I do! But you know, you-know-who doesn’t know yet…
Trent: (incredulously) You want this just between us?
Gwen: Trent please, you don’t have to make a fuss!
Trent: I wasn’t meant to see...but that locked door couldn’t secure your privacy!
“They sound great together! I wonder what they’re saying- SPEAK UP!” Courtney yelled.
Trent: Fine, let’s do it...let’s clear the air,
Gwen: Save it for later, look out for that bear!
Trent: (being beaten by the boar-bear) The pain, the pain too much to explain!
Gwen: Gotta stop what we’re doing cause this is just insane!
Trent: (in boar-bear’s mouth) Boar-bear’s got me….and that’s seriously lame
Gwen: (takes boar-bear’s medal) Thanks Mr. Boar-Bear, I guess I win this game!
“That’s a first point for Team Cody!” Chris announced.
“Yay Gwen!” Courtney cheered. Gwen smiled and walked away.
“Where are you going?” Trent asked, still in the boar bear’s mouth. “This conversation isn’t over!”
“Yeah, we should probably tranquilize that thing.” Chris commented
“IT’S CHEWING!” Trent yelled from off-screen.
The contestants and Trent in a wheelchair were heading to the location of the next event. “That was some, passionate singing in there.” Alejandro commented.
“Yeah, we got into it, I guess.” Trent stammered awkwardly.
“What was it about?” Alejandro questioned.
“Why do you need to know, InterrigatIandro?” Heather smirked
“I was just curious to make sure if you were doing okay?” Alejandro stammered, thrown off his rhythm.
“Great. Never been better.” Trent muttered and wheeled forward.
“That didn’t go as you planned, huh?” Heather asked while filing her nails. Alejandro glared.
Alejandro (CONF): That meddling little--ugh! She is a nuisance…. But whatever’s going on between Gwen and Trent is more important right now. I’ll figure it out however I can.
“Welcome to Olympic Event #2- a classic from the first Olympics, wrestling!” Chris announced.
“ALRIGHT!” Eva flexed. Courtney gulped.
“This one is a two person event, so pick your two strongest members!” Chris announced. “ And it’s for two medals! Loving the twos.”
“It’s obvious who’s gonna compete.” Eva declared. “Me And D--”
“Me and Eva!” Tyler slid in and put his arm around Eva. “Let’s DO this!” he declared.
Eva sighed. “You BETTER not mess this up.”
DJ (CONF): I’m actually happy I don’t have to wrestle! Mama said fighting is for barbarians! …..plus I’m really scared I might accidentally get hit by Eva.
Courtney sighed. “I took a self-defense class in CIT training, so I’m the only one of us who has a chance. If we have any chance, I’ll need a meat shield.”
Courtney grabbed Ezekiel. “Come on.”
“Alright! Time to show the ladies what I’m made of!” Ezekiel flexed as Bridgette rolled her eyes.
Eva laughed as she squared up with Courtney and Ezekiel. Chef blew the whistle.
“EXTREEEMEEEEEEE!” Tyler screamed as he ran straight at Courtney. She karate chopped him and he immediately fell backwards, his head smashing into Eva’s sending them both to the ground.
Courtney put a foot on top of both of them. “1, 2, 3!” Chef called and then held up Courtney and Ezekiel’s hands.
“And that’s another victory for Team Cody!” Chris announced.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Eva screamed.
“Don’t feel bad you just got crushed by the strongest man in the game, yo!” Ezekiel boasted. Eva growled, picked up Ezekiel, and hurled him out of the arena.
“Is he gonna be okay?” Leshawna asked.
“Do you really care?” Chris asked.
Leshawna paused and thought for moment. “No….”
The scene flashed to outside at an arena with a race track. “Are you ready for our next olympic event?” Chris announced. “It’s time for the favorite sport of kids who have no real athletic ability everywhere, track and field!” Hurdles popped up from the ground.
“Hey, I run track and field!” Tyler said indignantly.
“You’re just proving my point, bro.” Chris chuckled. “Who’s running for each team?”
“Since we need to win, it seems smartest for me to go” Alejandro said.
“Oh, I want to take him down!” Bridgette smiled and walked up to the racetrack.
“You got this babe!” Geoff called.of
Bridgette and Alejandro stood at the beginning of the track. “Let’s do this!” she cried.
“Looking beautiful as ever!” Alejandro smiled. “Just a harmless compliment, I would never want to break up you and Geoff, a lovely couple.” Bridgette rolled her eyes.”
Chef shot the pistol in the air. The two began running, and Bridgette crashed straight into the first hurdle. “Oh, I forgot how bad she is at walking.” Leshawna sighed.
“How does she surf?” Gwen asked?
Bridgette was stumbling over the third or fourth hurdle when Alejandro finished the course. “Easy.” he smiled.
“And that’s a medal for my namesake, Team Chris!” Chris announced. “I love it when you guys win.”
Alejandro received the medal and winked at Heather, who gagged.
The teams walked to the next event. “Now that I’m a medal winner, do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Alejandro asked Trent.
“Dude, like I told you, everything’s fine. Nothing is wrong!” Trent declared and scratched his head once. “2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 8, 9….” he scratched it 8 more times.
Alejandro (CONF): That is not the behavior of a man who is feeling okay! I will get it out of him…..
“That guy is still such a creep…” Bridgette said, holding an ice pack to her head
“I believed that girlfriend thing, but something ain’t right, you’re on the money.” Leshawna said.
The contestants arrived at a volleyball court. “Why is there a volleyball court inside a colosseum?” Noah raised an eyebrow.
“You’re playing this one, smart aleck.” Chris glared at Noah. He sighed.
Leshawna stepped up. “I know I can beat string bean.” she cracked her neck.
“If you lose this, we know who’s going home.” Heather called out.
“Yeah, it’s still you.” Eva said.
Heather (CONF): Damn, I thought that would work!
Noah served the ball, and it hit Leshawna right in the stomach. “LESHAWNA DOWN. LESHAWNA DOWN!” he called.
“That’s a win for Team Chris!” Chris announced. He put the medal around Noah’s neck.
“That’s not how volleyball works!” Bridgette called out.
“Hey man, we’re on tight schedule, and I don’t think she’s in the state to compete.” Chris laughed. Leshawna was still on the ground, groaning.
“Are you okay?” Gwen asked Leshawna.
Leshawna sighed. “I’m fine. I just don’t feel like getting up.”
The contestants were walking to the net event site, with Ezekiel dragging Leshawna. “Why do I have to do this, eh?”
“I’m injured!” Leshawna complained. Ezekiel sighed and kept dragging.
“So what were you and Trent singing about?” Courtney asked Gwen.
“Um, nothing! You know, relationship stuff, I mean, not in a relationship, stuff relating to, someone’s relationship, not yours? What’s that Bridgette?” Gwen ran away. Courtney stared at the camera.
Courtney (CONF): That was weird….I guess she’s dealing with a lot of feelings. Not everyone can have a stable relationship like me and Duncan!
“Our next Olympic event is the one that has the most rigorous and difficult training regimen of all...the one that seperates men from the boys…” Chris said dramatically.
“LET’S GO! EXTREME!” Tyler fistpumped.
“....rhythmic gymnastics!” Chris announced. Eva and Tyler’s faces dropped.
“Whoever has the best floor routine, will win the next medal, and possibly Canada’s heart!” Chris announced. “People do love those gymnasts.”
DJ stepped forward, already in his unitard with a pink ribbon. “I’m ready!”
“When did he change into that?” Noah asked Heather, who shrugged.
“Who hasn’t competed yet?” Gwen asked, looking around. Everyone then stared at Geoff.
“Aw, man…” he sighed.
DJ walked onto the mats. He leaped dramatically while waving the ribbon in the air. He did lots of pirouettes and then finished by landing into a split.
“Wow!” Chris said, clapping. Chef teared up.
“So beautiful….” he whimpered.
Geoff walked onto the mats. He awkwardly jumped, while twirling the ribbon. He then fell on his face and just lied there. “Not cool….”
“Boo! Where was the pizazz? The glamour?” Chris asked dramatically.
“I went on NO emotional journey with your performance.” Chef scowled.
“Another easy win for Team Chris!” Chris announced. “Which means it’s tied 3 to 3, which means we’re going to our final dramatic tiebreaker round!”
“Yaaay….” Noah cheered.
The teams arrived at a swimming pool. “This is the final event? Swimming?” Heather raised an eyebrow.
“Hey, they can’t all be winners.” Chris shrugged.
“And the only two people who haven’t completed yet are…..” spotlights shined on Sierra and Heather.
“Where did those come from?” Heather looked around.
Sierra and Heather stood in their bathing suits at the edge of the pool. “Remember if you lose, you’re going home!” Alejandro called.
“Thanks for the encouraging words! Go team!” Heather rolled her eyes.
“Ready, set….” Chris shot off the pistol. Sierra dived into the water.
“Does that mean go?” Heather asked.
“YES!” Team Chris all yelled at once.
“Alright! Rude much?” Heather said as she jumped in.
Heather (CONF): Pretty girls don’t have to learn the rules of sports.
“Sierra has a huge lead!” Chris announced.
“Don’t count us out yet!” Tyler cheered.
Everyone then looked at Heather doggy paddling while Sierra swam a perfect breaststroke. “Maybe they can count us out.”
Gwen (CONF): I’m not proud about what I’m about to do...but I have to do it!
“Hey, Alejandro…” Gwen said, walking up to him and talking quietly. “Seems like you guys are gonna lose…”
“Unfortunate.” Alejandro said. “She really is….not very good.”
“Yeah….so who are you guys going to vote off?” Gwen asked.
“Most likely Heather. She’s not doing very well.” Aleandro looked at Heather, who was floating leisurely.
“SERIOUSLY?” Eva screamed.
“This is the only way I won’t drown!” Heather called.
“I just think….we could work together…...and maybe go against someone else….” Gwen said slowly.
“You are quite transparent...but did you not do this last season as well?” Alejandro asked.
“Yes, but this is different, this is so much worse….” Gwen said. “Please!”
“How long is this race?” Noah asked.
“It’s the distance of all the swimming events in the Olympics put together.” Chris explained. “You’re almost done with lap 14, Sierra! Don’t give up!
Alejandro (CONF): Seems like this is just the thing I needed…
“I’ve just stumbled on some interesting information.” Alejandro said, walking up to Trent.
“W-what did you find out?” Trent said panickedly.
“She recognized our inevitable loss, and tried to get me to get YOU voted off…” Alejandro smirked.
Trent froze and then glared. “What?”
“I could’ve gone along with it, bt I trust you, friend. And I want you to trust me.” Alejandro smiled and grabbed Trent’s hand.
“I do. Just give me a second.” Trent glared, then turned his wheelchair to Gwen. “Really? You told them to vote me off?” he shouted.
“Trent, I-- what the hell Alejandro?” Gwen asked.
Alejandro whistled innocently. “Wow, you really have no shame, huh?” Trent spat vitriolically.
“It wasn’t like that, I promise!” Gwen cried,
“Whatever, I’m DONE keeping your secrets. I saw Duncan and Gwen kiss.” Trent announced.
Everyone gasped. “Okay, THAT was a shocker.” Chris chuckled.
Courtney’s eyes welled up with tears. “You KISSED my BOYFRIEND? What’s wrong with you?”
“WHAT? GWEN KISSED DUNCAN?” Sierra screeched. She jumped out of the pool and ran to her phone.
“Why are you getting out?” Ezekiel yelled.
“I have to update my blog!” Sierra called.
Leshawna grabbed Courtney as she tried to lunge at Gwen “I trusted you! I thought you were my friend! I hate you. I HATE YOU!” Courtney kicked and screamed
Heather got to the end of the pool. “Done!” she jumped out and smiled.
“And that’s a win for Team Chris!” Chris announced. There was no cheering however, as everyone was still wrapped up in the drama.
“Um, hello? Just single-handedly saved the team from having to go to elimination!” Heather announced. “Congratulations please?”
Team Chris awkwardly looked away and whistled.
“Team Cody….you’re going to elimination for the second time in a row! Which means one of you is going home. I wonder who it’s gonna be?” Chris chuckled.
“You are dead. GONE. ELIMINATED.” Courtney declared to Gwen, before stomping away. The rest of the contestants followed.
“Is anyone going to talk about me?” Heather cried.
All of Team Cody but Gwen was sitting in economy class. “I assume everyone KNOWS who we’re voting for tonight.” Courtney said.
“Who is it, eh?” Ezekiel asked. Courtney glared.
“It’s okay, girl. We’re, uh, here for you.” Leshawna said, patting Courtney on the back.
“Th-thank you…” Courtney said through tears. “Ugh, this is not leader-ly behavior. I’m sorry for showing emotion in front of you, it’s unprofessional.” she walked away.
Leshawna sighed and turned to Bridgette. “I feel bad voting off Gwen. What she did was bad, but she’s one of the OG homegirls!” Leshawna said.
“Yeah…..it’s like we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.” Bridgette sighed.
“I wish we could just throw our votes onto someone who doesn’t matter- avoid picking a side.” Leshawna shrugged.
Bridgette and Leshawna turned and looked at Ezekiel, and then smiled and looked at each other.
Gwen sat in the corner alone sadly, putting clothes into her bag. “I don’t know why I brought all these, considering I only ever wear 1 outfit.”
She put her head in her hands. “I can’t believe how much I screwed everything up.”
Sierra sat next to Gwen. “Listen up, Gothie.”
“Listen Sierra, I’m sure Cody will be proud you made the final 13.” Gwen sighed.
“No, not that. But OMG you think so?” Sierra smiled. “Anyway, you could go home now. But the Gwuncan spoilers I posted online are BLOWING up! I need those hits on my blog, and the Gwen vs Courtney thing is the new hot thing!”
“So...you don’t want me out, but you don’t want Courtney out either?” Gwen asked.
“Yeah, pretty much!” Sierra smiled.
Sierra (CONF): Of course I do love the hits, but I’m smarter than that. Keeping both Gwen and Courtney in makes sure there’s two targets at all times that aren’t me. Merge, here I come!
“But who do we vote out then?” Gwen asked.
“The person who has the best connections on the team. Geoff, Courtney, and Leshawna are all connected through…” Sierra and Gwen turned around to Bridgette who was napping.
“You think Bridgette is the biggest threat?” Gwen raised an eyebrow. “And I couldn’t vote her out, we’re friends. And where would we even get the other vote?”
Ezekiel was glaring at Geoff and Bridgette. Sierra turned Gwen’s attention towards them.
Gwen (CONF): I’m already devolving to the most horrible person in the game….voting ANOTHER one of my friends out would just solidify that! But I have to stay here, if not for me, then to make things right with Courtney…why couldn’t we all just vote out Ezekiel?
Team Cody all sat at the elimination ceremony. “Well, it’s certainly been an interesting and difficult day emotionally.” Chris smiled. Courtney lunged at Gwen but was held back by Leshawna.
“Let’s not hold out this tension any longer, no matter how much I want to. It’s time to vote!” Chris announced.
Courtney (CONF): *stamps Gwen’s passport multiple times*
Leshawna (CONF): *smirks and stamps passport*
Ezekiel (CONF): Thot-be-gone! *stamps Bridgette’s passport*
Gwen (CONF): *stamps passport somberly*
Chris held the passports. “Let’s take a look. One for Gwen, one for Zeke, two for Gwen, two for Ezekiel….” Chris began.
“Who else didn’t vote for Gwen? I thought we were united on this people!” Courtney cried.
“Bridgette,” Chris read “Bridgette, aaaaaand Bridgette! Daaaaang, you guys have some weird priorities.”
Bridgette looked completely shocked, as did everyone else. “WHAT JUST HAPPENED?” Courtney screamed.
“Yes, yes, it’s always a shock….” Chris grabbed Bridgette and hustled her to the airplane door unenthusiastically.
“Did you do this?” Bridgette turned to Gwen. Gwen stared at the floor.
“I just wanted to make things right with Courtney!” Gwen called.
“You want to make things right with me, so you vote out one of the only people who had my back?" Courtney screamed.
"Weren't you just mad at us?" Leshawna raised an eyebrow.
"Doesn't matter!" Courtney dismissed. "If you really cared about me, you would’ve voted yourself off! You are horrible. I hate you, I hate you!!!!!!”
“This IS a serious low.” Leshawna glared at Gwen.
“Redmond TotalDrama and TotalDramaOutwitted are gonna be shocked.” Sierra smiled, typing furiously into her laptop.
Geoff and Bridgette were furiously making out while Chris was staring, transfixed with the drama. He turned around. “Okay, can you leave?” he asked.
“I love you so much, babe.” Geoff said in between kisses.
“I love you too.” Bridgette muttered.
Chris angrily grabbed a parachute and shoved into Bridgette, shoving her off the plane. “Bye!” he called. He then turned to the remaining 6 contestants, who all looked like a mix of angered shocked and devastated, except for Ezekiel, who was picking his nose.
“Well, that was certainly a dramatic one. How will these 6 people who pretty clearly hate each other function as a team? My guess….not well. Find out next time on Total...Drama….World Tour!”
Chapter Fifteen- The Ex-Files
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our contestants became Olympic athletes! While some excelled and earned their gold medals, we found out others weren’t so athletically inclined,” Chris coughed. “TYLER. When Gwen and Trent got locked in an arena, they sang a beautiful duet about their conflicted feelings. Unfortunately, Gwen wanted to save her own butt, so she told Trent’s team to vote him off, AGAIN! Ice cold. Then when Trent revealed Gwen and Duncan’s lip lock, Courtney….uh….didn’t take it very well!” Chris chuckled. “And when Heather pulled out the victory for Team Chris, Gwen backstabbed yet ANOTHER friend by voting off Bridgette! Ouch! Does Gwen have any friendships left to ruin? Will Alejandro finally succeed in getting rid of Heather? And can this show get any weirder? I’ll spoil that one for you, yes. It’s time for an out of this world Total….Drama...World Tour!”
Team Chris sat in first class once again, eating gyros. “Mmm, the traditional Greek cuisine is great!” DJ smiled.
“Personally, I’m a fan of the massages.” Heather said, as a man massaged her back.
Trent sighed loudly and picked at his food. “What’s wrong, friend?” Alejandro asked, sitting next to him.
“I just can’t believe Gwen tried to get me out. AND that she didn’t go home yesterday! Now we still have to be around each other...I don’t know if I can do it.” Trent slumped into his chair.
“Do not even worry about her, friend. I don’t understand why the other team did not vote her off, but it’s clear she’s the outsider in the game. She’ll be gone soon, I promise.”
“Thanks, Al.” Trent smiled. Alejandro’s eye twitched.
“No problem. Just remember, you always have me.” Alejandro smiled.
Alejandro (CONF): Trent used to be one of the more difficult tribe members to manipulate, but ever since the Gwen drama happened, his mind has become putty in my hands! *laughs* It’s almost too easy sometimes.
Noah stared at Alejandro and Trent, and then walked up to Heather. “They’re certainly getting close.” he commented.
“Um, getting a massage, trying to forget I’m trapped with you losers, a little respect please?” Heather said.
Noah rolled his eyes. “I know nothing’s more important to you than yourself, but I know you want Alejandro--”
“I do not WANT Alejandro. That’s disgusting. He’s gross. Get away from me!” Heather shooed Noah.
Noah (CONF): Heather is the only other person who sees through Alejandro, but she’s too much of a self-centered jerk to talk to me! It really is exhausting being a genius.
Courtney, Leshawna, and Geoff sat one side of the bench in economy class glaring at Gwen, who sighed.
“This sucks…” Gwen moped.
“Maybe you shouldn’t have been a homewrecking harlot!” Sierra suggested.
“Thanks. That’s really helpful.” Gwen rolled her eyes.
“I’m just saying….Trent, Cody, Duncan, you’re a serial man-hopper….” Sierra said while blogging.
“Um, me and Cody were NEVER going to be a thing.” Gwen complained.
“Good. He’s MINE.” Sierra warned. “Isn’t being each other’s best ally fun?”
“A blast.” Gwen moaned.
Sierra (CONF): A classic team split, 3-3! Filled with drama and former friend breakups. I am making this season sooooo good. I better win Canada’s Favorite Player!
Sierra walked over to Courtney, Geoff, and Leshawna. “How are you?” Sierra empathetically put her hand on Courtney’s shoulder. “If Gwen took Cody, I would kill her!”
“Thank you.” Courtney said between sobs. “Actually, no. You voted for Bridgette! You kept her here!”
“I mean, so did Leshawna.” Sierra said. Courtney turned and glared at Leshawna.
“Why am I getting thrown under the bus!” Leshawna complained.
Sierra (CONF): Right now, the numbers are tied. But that Geoff, Courtney, and Leshawna alliance is sooo not tight. I mean Geoff voted for Courtney like two days ago. And Leshawna hates her! She just hates Gwen a liiiiittle bit more right now….GothEbonyshippers, if you want these best friends back together, I will DO IT for you!
The contestants all stood in the common area. “It’s the middle of the night!” Heather complained
“Just wanted to make you disoriented enough for peak challenge performance!” Chris smiled.
“I’m an athlete. I have a routine. If I don’t get to do my morning stretches I’m gonna kill someone!” Eva yelled.
“Wow, you’re happier than normal.” Noah smirked, Eva gave a dirty look.
“Where are we even going?” Trent questioned.
“Today, we’re getting you to an exclusive location that most people can only dream of….the mythic Area 51!” Chris announced.
“Like, the one with all the alien sightings that’s one of the most mysterious places in the world?” Trent raised an eyebrow.
“How did you manage to swing that?” Gwen said.
“Don’t respond to me.” Trent said.
“You don’t get to have snappy comebacks!” Courtney said simultaneously.
Gwen (CONF): Great, everything I say, I just get reminded about everyone hating me! Maybe I should’ve gone home….there’s nothing left for me here…although a million dollars can buy a lot of hair dye…..
“Really, how did you swing that?” Alejandro asked. “It would take a diplomat’s son, like myself, to have that kind of international power.”
“Thanks, Bragajandro. Anything else you want to subtly boast about to us?” Heather said.
Noah chuckled. “Nice.” Heather stared at him.
Heather (CONF): Did someone just….support me? That’s never happened on this show before!
Chris pointed at Alejandro. “The answer to your question is...we didn’t! You guys are going in unauthorized, isn’t that exciting?”
“I think most people would go with illegal.” Trent commented.
“Difference of semantics, really. And because we don’t have permission to land….” Chris began handing out parachutes.
Leshawna sighed. “This is getting old.” she complained.
“Really, cause it never gets less fun for me!” He pressed a button and the bottom of the plane gave out, leading everyone to start falling.
Everyone landed in a giant inflatable UFO. “Now THIS is tacky.” Noah complained.
“Would you have preferred falling to your death? Cause that can be arranged.” Chris said, riding down in a helicopter.
“I recommend you stop talking.” Alejandro jabbed Noah with his elbow.
“So we just landed in Area 51, one of the most mythic places in the world?” Gwen stood up, excited.
“Nah, this is Area 52. You can’t just land in Area 51.” Chris said. “Right over that border line is Area 52.”
“Woah, cool.” Tyler jumped over the line and a laser immediately shot, from seemingly out of nowhere at him.
“Heh heh, yeah. They don’t get visitors often.” Chris chuckled.
Tyler (CONF): The adrenaline rush I’ve gotten on this show is nuts! Some people might be annoyed by almost dying multiple times in a season, but it NEVER stops being extreme!
“Your challenge is simple, get into the bunker at Area 51 and retrieve a strange artifact without getting caught. The first team back wins, while the losers get to hang with me at elimination!” Chris smiled.
“What exactly happens if we get caught?” Alejandro asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Don’t get caught.” Chris said very seriously.
“That doesn’t answer the-” Alejandro began.
“Don’t. Get. Caught. Legally, you’ll be US Military property.” Chris said.
The contestants all began talking over each other to express their concern. Chris blew his airhorn. “Get moving!”
The teams stood at the borderline. “Um, ladies first?” DJ gestured to Team Cody.
“You take the head start, I insist!” Leshawna smiled.
Noah was reading a book. “If none of us go, they can’t call either team the loser.”
Eva turned to Noah angrily. “WHAT TEAM DO YOU THINK YOU’RE ON?” she yelled.
Eva (CONF): I need a team with the mindset of WINNERS. Noah does NOT have the mindset of a winner. I don’t want to keep Heather a second longer than I need to, but I think he’s even worse than her! I didn’t even know that was possible.
Eva ripped Noah’s book in half. “I was in the middle of that!” Noah complained.
“Be lucky it wasn’t you.” Eva grunted. She threw one half of the book up in the air over the line, where it was hit by a laser. She threw the other one, low to the ground, and it was fine.
“It seems like the lasers only fire at things of a certain height. Tyler got zapped because he jumped.” Alejandro smiled.
“Thanks for narrating that one for us.” Heather rolled her eyes as Team Chris began running, with Team Cody following behind them.
“So, that was pretty embarrassing.” Heather commented as she began running beside Noah.
“Did you really feel like this was a constructive thing to say to me?” Noah said.
“I’m just saying, you don’t want to get on the bad side of Eva and Alejandro. You seem to be the only one who recognizes the danger….” Heather warned.
“I’m not sure you’re the person I should be taking liability advice from.” Noah ran in front of Heather, who stamped her foot.
Noah (CONF): Okay, I know I probably should’ve heard her out more. But making the sarcastic comment and walking away was just so much EASIER….
Courtney pushed Gwen to the ground while running. “OOPS!” she yeled.
Gwen sighed. “I deserved that….”
Courtney, Leshawna, Geoff, and Sierra were all running at the front of their team’s pack, with Gwen sulking behind, and Ezekiel even further back. “HURRY UP!” Courtney screeched.
“I’m doing my best, eh.” Ezekiel panted. “I haven’t been to the gym in a while.” he said, attempting to save face.
“Who do you think you’re fooling?” Courtney rolled her eyes. “Mush!” she yelled, kicking Geoff’s heels in front of her.
Geoff (CONF): I know Courtney is like, mourning her relationship or whatever, but she’s MAJORLY harshing my buzz. I guess I should be nice though. If Bridgette broke up with me, I wouldn’t be able to party *tearing up* .for the rest of my life…..
“Have you noticed how...harsh Courtney is being?” Geoff whispered to Leshawna as they ran.
“Yeah, I know. But girl’s torn up. You can’t blame her for what Gwen did.” Leshawna said, shrugging.
“Courtney’s a real hoser, eh?” Ezekiel said, trudging along by Gwen.
“”It’s what I deserve.” Gwen muttered, who was trudging along even sadder than Ezekiel. “What I did was terrible…”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t give her an excuse to be such a KNOB!” Ezekiel complained.
“ZEKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Courtney screamed.
Ezekiel gulped. “I think I have to go….” he said, as he ran to the front of the group.
“Why are you talking to Gwen exactly, Ezekiel?” Courtney asked.
“No reason! I’m slow! I’m not as fast as you, queen Courtney!” Ezekiel spat out, sweating.
“DON’T GROVEL! You cannot TALK and start scheming with her. She is HORRIBLE!” Courtney yelled. “And unless you want to be the next one off this plane….you better STOP!”
“Yes, Courtney, sir!” Ezekiel said, before tripping over his feet. His hat flew off on and landed on a piece of the ground, which then exploded.
“Um….what?” Sierra asked.
“Are we in a MINEFIELD?” Gwen called out, concerned.
“Quick! Let’s throw her in front of us so she’ll take the blasts!” Courtney ordered. Leshawna, Geoff, and Ezekiel all turned and stared at her.
“Don’t you think that’s a little harsh?” Sierra commented.
“Not after what she did to me!” Courtney complained.
“I think we have a more pressing problem right now!” Gwen called out.
Chris flew over Team Cody in a helicopter. “It’s a Team Cody solo! Get out your real feelings!”
A laser then nearly missed the helicopter. “Okay, let’s get out of here fast!” Chris called to Chef
Courtney: Boyfriend kisser! I thought she was my friend, but now it’s time to diss her! Sure we had some good times, but I’m not gonna miss her now!
Leshawna: Boyfriend kisser!
Courtney: You’re gonna get what’s coming to you, if it’s the last thing I ever do!
Geoff: That’s right! That’s right! That’s right! That’s right!
Courtney: Let’s go a little back: we put Sierra in a sack!
Sierra: And didn’t give a crap when you stretched me on the rack!
Courtney: All those times you made me smile you wanted my man all the while!
Gwen: Courtney, it’s not how you think it wa--
Courtney, Leshawna, Geoff, and Sierra: BOYFRIEND KISSER!
Courtney: You’re not my new sister! You’re a pus-y goth-y nasty blister! Leshawna, Geoff, Sierra: Boyfriend kisser!
Courtney: You’re gonna get what’s coming to you if it’s the last thing I ever do!
While the rest of the team was jamming out in place. Ezekiel took off his toque and shook out some loose change. “How’d that get in there?” he wondered, and then threw a penny forward at the ground, which detonated a mine.
“Zeke! You’re a genius! Throwing stuff in front of us to detonate the mines!” Sierra cried, before taking her belt off and throwing it in front of her, allowing them to pass.
Geoff took off his cowboy hat and threw it, but it did not detonate a mine. “Thank god!” he said, running to cuddle the hat. “I couldn’t bear to keep going without you.”
Gwen took a bottle of hair dye out of her pocket and threw it in front of her, detonating the last mine. “Nice one, Gwen!” Ezekiel cheered.
“She dyes her hair! WHAT ELSE IS SHE LYING TO YOU ABOUT?” Courtney yelled at the rest of her team.
“Did you think it was naturally blue?” Leshawna muttered.
“Come on dudes, let’s go!” Geoff called as the six members of Team Cody ran past the detonated mines to the gate in front of the warehouse. “We’re totally gonna have a huge lead on the other team!”
Team Chris ran up behind Team Cody at the gate. “Thanks for testing all the mines, bros!” Tyler smiled. Courtney rolled her eyes.
“How are we supposed to get over this massive gate, eh?” Ezekiel questioned.
“EXTREEEEEME!” Tyler yelled. He then jumped on the fence, which was electric and began climbing over it, with intermittent screams.
“Now THERE’S a team player.” Eva said to Noah.
Eva (CONF): Tyler may be stupid, and Tyler may be weak, and Tyler may be useless, but at least he works for the team!
Leshawna pointed to how the gate was not connected to anything other than the front. “Can’t we just go around?” she raised an eyebrow.
Courtney’s eyes widened, and then she called to her team. “GO GO GO!” she yelled while running, as everyone else followed.
Tyler reached the top of the fence and fell to the ground. “I made it over!” he gave a thumbs up to his team.
“HURRY UP!” Eva yelled as the rest of the team ran into the warehouse.
“Sorry.” he grunted.
The teams ran into the warehouse and saw shelves and shelves of strange looking things, some appearing to be equipment and some even appearing to be different lifeforms.
“Woah…” Gwen stared in amazement.
“Are you HAPPY that you finally found your PEOPLE?” Courtney complained.
Leshawna rolled her eyes. “Alright, this place is big, so we need to split up.”
“Let’s go, broseph!” Geoff said, grabbing Sierra’s arm.
“I’m not sure that word applies to me.” she said, before they walked off.
“I’ll go with Eeyore.” Leshawna said, grabbing Gwen’s hand, who was staring at the floor sadly.
“Wait, does that mean--” Courtney turned around and looked at Ezekiel who was picking his nose.
He flicked it on the ground. “We’re partners, eh!” Ezekiel smiled. Courtney stared at the ground.
Leshawna and Gwen walked around the warehouse. “This place is freaky!” Leshawna said.
Gwen picked up a strange looking metal object, but I didn’t do anything. “I know, but you can’t tell what’s junk and what’s useful...we’re gonna lose again….and I’m gonna be voted off….” Leshawna sighed.
Leshawna (CONF): I decided to go with Gwen because she used to be my best friend on these shows! But right now she’s sitting around moping like she’s dead meat. I mean, she kinda is, but I don’t like seeing her this way!
“You need to keep your chin up. I know what you did was bad, and people aren’t gonna forget it. But acting like you’re on death row isn’t helping!” Leshawna said.
“I AM on death row! There’s no way I don’t go home next, and any friendship I’ll ever have with Courtney is ruined.” Gwen moaned.
“You don’t know that!” Leshawna pleaded.
“Um, can you not hear? She hates me!” Gwen threw her hands in the air.
“She’s mad right now, but it’s not about you. She lost the love of her life- she’s heartbroken.” Leshawna said. “Why the love of anyone’s life would be Duncan is BEYOND me…..”
“But what can I do about it…” Gwen said.
“Go apologize! Have you made an attempt to actually talk to her, or have you just been sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?” Leshawna asked.
“Geez, that’s harsh.” Gwen complained.
“It’s called tough love, girl.” Leshawna said, and grabbed a little gray box. “Is this an alien artifact or whatever? We could win right here!”
The box glowed green. “It’s doing something!” Gwen gasped, as two small otherworldly beings flew out of the box and began sparking with electricity.
“AHHHHHHH!” The girls both screamed as they tried to trap it but they flew away.
“Back in the box, back in the box!” Leshawna yelled before throwing the green beings inside. Leshawna held the box.
“Can we take that back and win right here?” Gwen asked. The box flew out of Leshawna’s hand and shattered.
“You just had to get the last laugh, huh?” Leshawna scoffed to the aliens, who were likely in another dimension at the moment.
“LET’S GO LET’S GO LET’S GO!” Eva yelled at her team who were frantically looking in boxes.
“It’s all just documents!” Heather complained.
“Do you expect them to just leave the alien artifacts lying around?” Noah muttered.
“Don’t test me noodle arms!” Heather spat.
“THEN SPLIT UP AND SEARCH THE WHOLE WAREHOUSE! GO GO GO!” Eva yelled.
“Thanks for the friendly motivation, chief.” Noah rolled his eyes.
Eva snapped her head and stared at him intensely. “I’m going! I’m going!” he cried.
Geoff wandered through the shelves and bumped into Trent. “What’s up, dude! This place is freaky!” Geoff said.
Trent sighed. “It’s not even phasing me.”
“Dude, what’s wrong? For someone in an alien warehouse, you’re super chill right now. Not like good chill, bad chill….”
Trent (Cockpit CONF): I hate to feel like I’m bringing everyone else down, but I just can’t be happy right now…*takes out guitar*
“Ohhhhhh, my devil with a goth girl’s face…” Trent sang.
“Uh uh! My plane is a NO white man with guitar space!” Chef said. Trent sighed.
“It’s just Gwen……” Trent sighed. “I feel so betrayed….”
“Dude, I know it sucks.” Geoff sighed. “Believe me, I got cheated on while we were actually dating, I wasn’t just unhealthily obsessed even though we’d broken up.” Geoff smiled.
“Harsh, but fair.” Trent said quietly.
“But stuff just...worked out, y’know? If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. We’re the good guys, we’re the ones who win in the end! I’m sure everything will work out fine.” Geoff smiled.
“I hope you’re right…” Trent sighed.
The guys stumbled on a portal, and an exact double of Gwen emerged from the portal. “Uh….that seems like an intact alien artifact to me….” Geoff said, staring. “And I think you need this one more than me…”
Trent (CONF): Way to be on-the-nose, life.
“Ugh, this place is SO WEIRD….” Heather complained, walking through the warehouse.
“Thanks for the insightful comment.” Noah smirked.
“Ugh! You are insufferable! No wonder we voted you out first on the island!” Heather complained.
“You were all just scared of my intellect!” Noah complained.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Heather smirked.
“At least I didn’t come off with everyone hating me!” Noah said.
Heather gasped. “Ugh! You are on THIN ICE. It would be so easy to vote you out….”
‘Last time I checked, you were the one on the bottom!” Noah complained.
Heather stopped and gasped “This is what they want….we’re playing right into their hands!”
“Wait, what?” Noah said.
“Eva and Alejandro. If we turn against each other, they have complete control, like you said. We’re just letting them win!” Heather said.
“Wait, you were listening to me before?” Noah asked.
“Of course I was. I’m not an idiot. I made it to the final 3.” Heather smirked.
“There’s the humblebragging again.” Noah rolled his eyes.
“I just started to like you 5 seconds ago. Don’t ruin it already.” Heather said. “We need to stick together and get rid of the people running the game!”
The two shook hands. “Now let’s find an alien artifact so we don’t even have to think about voting.” Noah said, before looking up right in front of him and seeing a massive robot.
“Huh. That was easy.” Heather said, trying to grab it. It then turned on and began walking towards them, while turning its arm into a cannon.
“AHHHHHHHHH!” both screamed.
DJ tiptoed through the warehouse. “Hello?” he said weakly.
DJ (CONF): I thought a world tour meant going to nice places, getting to see animals in all different parts of the world! I didn’t know it would be this *gulps* scary….
“Hello? Anyone?” he whispered.
“DJ! HELP!” Heather called.
The giant robot stomped to the end of the aisle that DJ was at and stared. DJ paused.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” he screamed and began running as fast as he could.
Gwen and Leshawna were standing trying to shake the box to turn it back on when they saw the giant robot and it slowly walked towards them. “Oh nooooooo……” Gwen said.
The robot slowly approached and the girls screamed. “Wait a minute…” Leshawna said and turned the off switch. “ That was easy.”
Gwen and Leshawna stared at the robot. “Now how the hell are we gonna get this thing back?” Leshawna asked.
Trent was dragging the alien Gwen replica to the rest of his teammates. He grabbed the replica’s hair and smelt it. “Mmmm...smells authentic.”
“Yeah, if there’s a line, that definitely just crossed it.” Tyler commented.
“That’s fair.” Trent said, as the rest of their team ran and joined them.
“HELLO! A little help here!” Leshawna yelled to the rest of Team Cody, who slowly appeared out
All of Team Cody was pushing the robot as it slowly inched forward. “UGH! Of course you found the biggest artifact. NICE GOING GOTHIE!” Leshawna sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Come on dudes, we can still win this!” Geoff said, while pushing.
“SHUT UP GEOFF!” Gwen, Courtney and Leshawna all yelled at once.
Geoff (CONF): Uh, SERIOUSLY harshing my buzz.
Team Chris ran towards the exit dragging Alien Gwen. DJ stepped on a tile that sank into the ground. “Uh….guys?”
Suddenly lasers appeared throughout the entrance area. “Uh...my bad?” DJ smiled.
“What are we supposed to do now?” Alejandro complained.
“Hmmm….it seems like this would be an opportunity to be a real TEAM PLAYER.” Heather said, staring at Alejandro.
Alejandro glared and then sighed. “I suppose I will...take one for the team….”
Alejandro (CONF): Oh, she’s good.
“Do not let these lasers disfigure….my gorgeous face.” Alejandro pleaded to Eva, before running into the direct path of the lasers. He screamed as he was fried while the rest of the team ran right past, dragging alien Gwen.
Chris flew in on a jetpack. “And that’s a third win in a row for Team Chris!” Chris announced. “So nice to know the team that shares my name also shares my success in life.”
“UGH!” Courtney yelled, kicking the giant robot and accidentally turning it back on. It pointed its arm cannon at her. “Uhhhh….”
“As for you Team Cody, time for another elimination ceremony!” Chris chuckled, as a laser flew right by his head. “Now let’s get the heck out of this place!”
Gwen (CONF): Well, I guess this is it…..I was just starting to get back into the game too…*sighs* I guess it’s what I deserve.
Team Cody sat at the elimination ceremony. “Well, this seems pretty cut and dry, so to inject some extra drama…” Chris smiled as Chef wheeled out a TV screen.
“Um, what is that for?” Leshawna asked.
“I figured, why not get to see everyone’s true, unfiltered feelings with some live confession cams. Take a look!” Chris smiled and pressed a button on the remote.
Courtney (CONF): *furiously stamping Gwen* BYE BYE GOTHIE!!!!!!!!
Sierra (CONF): I have to go with the group on this one. *stamps Gwen* Now Cody will only be paying attention to me!
Geoff (CONF): Courtney’s a major vibe-harsher--
Courtney stared at Geoff, who smiled awkwardly and scratched his head.
Geoff (CONF continued): but boyfriend stealing is messed up….*stamps Gwen* Sorry, dudette.
Gwen (CONF): *sighs* I might as well. *stamps Courtney*
Ezekiel (CONF): Yeah, I like you Gwen….but Courtney scares my toque off! *stamps Gwen*
Leshawna (CONF): I can’t get rid of my girl! And someone’s attitude is getting to be way too much. *stamps Courtney*
Courtney stood up in outrage. “HOW DARE YOU? I thought we were a united front! You are SO next!” she yelled at Leshawna. “At least the real evil is defeated!”
Gwen sighed and stood up. “Let’s get this over with.”
“Not so fast, Gothie. I like that. Nice one, Court.” Chris smiled. “If you’ll all recall the beginning of the season, there’s one cardinal rule. IF YOU DON’T SING, YOU’RE OUT. And there’s one little birdie who didn’t take part in the group’s performance of Boyfriend Kisser.”
Chris smirked at pointed at Ezekiel. “It’s you, bro! Sorry homoeschool, just as fast as your return starts, it ends. Sad, isn’t it?”
“WHAT! You’re sending Ezekiel home instead of Gwen! Just because he didn’t SING! This is ridiculous. This is rigged!” Courtney screamed.
“Me? Neeeever.” Chris smirked as he handed Ezekiel his parachute. “Time to go!
“This is bull, eh!” Ezekiel complained as Chris shoved him towards the door. “Whatever, I’ll be back again!”
“Oh, I doubt it.” Chris said. “Oh Cheeeeef….” Chef walked out with a wooden pole and began shoving Ezekiel out. The scene cut to the 5 Team Cody members who watched in pain as Ezekiel cried.
“No fair!!!” he screamed as he was finally sent flying out of the plane.
“You two are DEAD. Dead!!!!!!!!” Courtney screamed at Gwen and Leshawna.
“Nice and tension-y. Just how I like it! Who’s next to get sent flying out of a plane? Find out next time, on Total...Drama...World Tour!”
Chapter Sixteen- Picnic At Hanging Dork
m“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our contestants had a close encounter of the dramatic kind! Courtney’s hate-on for Gwen reached all new levels, while Leshawna managed to get the gloomy goth’s head back in the game! On Team Chris, Trent was still in his Gwen funk, while Heather and Noah finally got over their egos and bonded over their mutual hate of Alejandro. Team Chris pulled out another out-of-this-world victory, and when Team Cody headed to elimination, the votes were set for Gwen to go. But Ezekiel forgot the cardinal rule of the season…..YOU GOTTA SING. See ya, homeschool! Only 12 are left, and today’s challenge is one of the most grueling yet! Who will get thrown under the bus down under? Find out right here, right now, on Total...Drama….World Tour!”
Team Chris was resting peacefully in first class. Alejandro, DJ, Eva, Trent, and Noah were all leaning back in their chairs with sleeping masks on.
Heather popped up from nowhere. “DJ!” she called in his ear.
“AHHH!” he screamed before she put her hand over his mouth and dragged him to the back of the section.
“Who is the most intimidating person in the game?” Heather asked.
“A lot of people intimidate me. I’m sensitive.” DJ whimpered.
“Oh my god. Who scares you the most?” Heather asked.
“Oh, that’s easy, Eva.” DJ said.
“Right! So let’s team up and vote her out!” Heather smiled.
“What?! No!” DJ said panickedly and then leaned in and whispered. “She might hear you.”
“If she scares you, why not vote against her?” Heather asked.
“Do you understand how being ‘scared of’ someone works?” DJ asked with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s not an emotion I experience often.” Heather admitted.
“There’s no way I could betray her!” DJ shook his head.
“But if you don’t, I’m going home!” Heather cried.
“I’m sorry, Heather. I have to stick with my alliance. “ DJ said, as he walked back to his seat and closed his eyes.
Eva opened hers and yawned. DJ did exactly the same. “Oh! Good morning!” he giggled. Eva raised an eyebrow while Heather facepalmed.
Heather (CONF): DJ is so whipped by Eva! I have kno2 idea why he’s so scared of turning against her. I am just as scary!
DJ (CONF): I feel bad for Heather but Eva’s my original Team Failure alliance! She’s started appearing in my nightmares, but that’s normal, right?
Gwen and Leshawna sat at one end of the economy class bench, and Courtney was at the other. Geoff and Sierra sat awkwardly across from them.
“Courtney, I just wanna say--” Gwen began.
“NO.” Courtney said.
“Okay.” Gwen replied meekly.
Geoff (CONF) The vibe on my team has been HELLA harsh lately. I know Courtney hates Gwen, but now she hates Leshawna too for voting against her! I just want us to all be chill…
The contestants all stood gathered in the common area. Chris walked out blowing into a digiredoo. “G’day mates!”
“Wow, I wonder where we’re going.” Noah rolled his eyes.
“Didn’t we already visit England?” Tyler asked.
Noah sighed. “Not. England. We’re heading to the land down under!” Chris announced.
“The South Pole? Is that a country?” Geoff asked.
“N-no…” Chris put his head in his hands. “Australia. We’re going to Australia.”
“Woohoo! I’ve never even seen a kangaroo!” Tyler cheered, and high fived Alejandro, who rolled his eyes afterwards.
A shot of the plane flying from the USA to Australia . The final 12 walked off the plane and onto the ground.
“Ugh, it’s so hot.” Noah complained.
“Listen. We’re on a winning streak, and I don’t want to lose that. So you’re gonna be quiet and participate, or you’re GOIN HOME.” Eva declared.
“Okay…” Noah said weakly.
Noah (CONF): Sometimes I miss being the 3rd one out….all those days in the losers lodge….not having to be with these people…..
Eva (Cockpit CONF): I’m SICK of Noah and Heather not pulling their weight. No more Mrs. Nice Girl!
Chef turned around. “This was you being NICE?”
Eva whipped her head around and growled. “Don’t push me, cook.”
“For today’s challenge, we’ll all be taking a trek to an Australian national landmark- Hanging Rock!” Chris announced.
“On foot?” Leshawna asked, with a raised eyebrow
“Nope. On emu!” Chris lifted a cover from a cage and 12 emus were revealed to be inside, all sqawking. “Don’t worry, it’s only a 2 day journey.”
“WHAT?” Heather yelled.
“Don’t worry, you’ll have supplies!” Chris threw a canteen of water and a can of vegemite to Heather.
“There’s at least a 90% chance you’ll survive on that. I like those odds.” Chris smiled.
Heather (CONF): The sad part is, it’s probably higher than most of the challenges.
“First team to hanging rock….” The teens smiled excitedly. “...will get to start part 2 of the challenge first!”
A loud round of complaints were thrown out. “Shh!” Chris said. “If I were you, I’d spend more time emu catching and less time arguing.” He played his didgeridoo again as the cage opened. “Go! Man, I love this thing.”
The emus were let out of their cage and began running around frantically. “How are we supposed to catch them like this?” Heather complained.
“I dunno, improvise! It’s called a “challenge” for a reason.” Chris chuckled.
“EXTREME!” Tyler jumped at an emu, but missed and faceplanted. “ROUND TWO!” he jumped and missed again. “GOTCHA THIS TIME!” he missed once again.
“Should we help him?” Trent asked.
“I think this is funnier.” Noah said.
Tyler jumped for another emu and missed again, but one quickly ran over him. He grabbed onto thE leg as the emu ran forward. “FIRST PLACE, BABY!” Tyler cheered.
Tyler (CONF): You know, I may take my lumps sometimes. But it pays off when I’m in first place and am officially the ultimate challenge stud! Sometimes, you gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
“Yo Ty, can I hop on?” Geoff called out.
“Yeah, man!” Tyler said, still being dragged.
“Righteous!” Geoff jumped on top of the emu as it ran forward leaving everyone else in the dust.
“He’s not on our team!” Alejandro cried, and then sighed. “Oh, forge tit.”
Geoff (CONF): Workin with Tyler means I didn’t have to catch my own emu! Also, my team is full of scary girls who are pissed at each other, so maybe a little time away is for the best!
Alejandro caught an emu. “For you, sweetheart.” he bent on one knee and gestured to Courtney.
“O-oh.” Courtney said, blushing, she stepped onto the emu. “Thanks, I guess.”
“No problem. I hope you are feeling okay.” Alejandro smiled.
“Well, I’ve definitely been better.” Courtney complained. “But...I guess it could be worse.” she stared at him.
Alejandro (CONF): Looking at statistics, the tribe merger is bound to happen soon. And thus, I need to make friends with the people I haven’t gotten to on the other team. Courtney is normally a spitfire, but now she’s fragile….I can exploit that.
Alejandro backflipped onto an emu. “Vamonos, amigo!” he called.
Heather climbed on clumsily. “Ugh! Show-off.”
“And trying to put the moves on Courtney while she just got cheated on? Low, even for him.” Noah said, while attempting to jump on an emu. “I hate these things.” he complained.
Heather jumped on an emu and it charged forward. “Yes!” she cheered.
“Uh, a little help?” Noah called.
“Sorry, our alliance only extends to collaborative trash talking.” Heather called back. “See ya!”
Leshawna and Gwen were sitting on their emus, towards the back of the pack. “Ugh..can somebody turn off the sun?” Leshawna muttered weakly.
“Seriously…..I don’t think I can be exposed to this much sunlight...I might disappear like a vampire.” Gwen said. The girls both chuckled.
“Well, if you disappear, I’m even more screwed than normal.” Leshawna said. “We’re in this together now, girl.”
Leshawna (CONF): Courtney’s crazy, and I voted against her cause I thought it was a done deal for Gwen! But since Chris decided to show the votes, now I’M in the hot seat too. *stares at camera* I don’t even trust YOU anymore!
“So one of us is basically guaranteed to get screwed?” Gwen sighed.
“Basically. Geoff is too scared to turn on Courtney, and we all know Sierra is just looking to save her own butt.” Leshawna explained.
“So, we have to win this challenge or go home?’ Gwen said, looking scared.
“Well, Courtney kinda hates you more….so I would put money on you.” Leshawna said.
Gwen (CONF): Ugh. I BARELY survived last night, and my head’s finally back in the game, and now it’s win or go home? You get kissed by ONE girl’s boyfriend….maybe it’s too early to be making light of that.
“Ugh. Do these things have a faster setting?” Gwen complained. “Mush! Mush!” she yelled. ‘That’s for dogs, isn’t it.”
Leshawna chuckled. “At least we’ll get voted off doing what we did best: making fun of this stupid show.”
Courtney and Alejandro rode on their emus side-by-side. “Hmm….what is your sign? An Aries? It would fit your fiery nature….”
“I don’t believe in astrological signs. I think they’re just things irrational people rely on to explain their shortcomings. Courtney explained. “It’s not because you’re a Taurus, Jessica from the debate team, you’re just a bi--”
“Anyway, what do you think of your team? You’re on quite the losing streak….” Alejandro pointed out sheepishly.
Courtney’s eyes narrowed. “Why should I tell you? How do /I/ know you’re trustworthy?”
Alejandro smiled and took off his bull necklace. “This is a gift from my father. If I betray you, you have my blessing to destroy it in whatever humiliating way you find possible?”
Courtney (Cockpit CONF): Normally I would NEVER respond to such blatant flirting like Alejandro’s…...but look, it’s been a rough few days. Can’t you just let me have this?
“His eyes ARE dreamy.” Chef said.
“More like his BODY.” Courtney chuckled and drooled. “Wait, why am I talking about this with you?”
Courtney put the necklace in her pocket. “Fine, but only because I trust you. Geoff is not very smart, but he’s loyal and he’s nice. I have NO faith in Sierra. I can just tell she’s waiting to screw me over. She’s too crafty and she knows too much!”
“Being a fan is an unfair advantage.” Alejandro commented.
“Exactly! We had no blueprint or people to watch on TV when we first stepped on that island, newbie! Wait, weren’t you a fan?” Courtney questioned.
Alejandro’s face dropped and quickly shifted. “No, I was recruited on the street.” Alejandro turned to the camera and winked.
“Oh, okay.” Courtney accepted. “Anyway, Leshawna is a LIAR and she has a bad attitude towards working. Voting with GWEN against me? Like, how much lower can one’s morals sink!”
“So duplicitous!” Alejandro exclaimed.
“And GWEN……...ugh. Let me get my itemized list.” Courtney began digging in her pockets and took out a piece of paper which she continuously unfolded. Alejandro stared into the camera once again, this time with a less enthused expression.
The scene cut to the next day. Alejandro looked half-dead lying against the emu. “And…..I think that’s all my grievances. Any questions?” Courtney asked.
“Oh, um…...Can you read me Number 56 section 3 subsection 2 again?” Alejandro pleaded half-heartedly.
“Oh, sure. Let me just…” Courtney began looking through the list, but her emu crashed into a giant rock.
“G’day mates!” Chris said, sitting at the top of the rock, holding a cup of coffee. “You’re the first ones here! Which means you can’t do anything until the rest of your teams arrive except get to the top of the rock.”
“How are we supposed to do that?” Alejandro called up to Chris.
Chris shrugged. “The stairs.” He pointed to a staircase that spanned multiple stories.
Courtney sighed. “Really?”
Sierra’s emu approached Hanging Rock slowly. She laid against, it sweating and panting. She grabbed her can of vegemite, opened it, and licked it.
“Blegh!” she recoiled. “Still terrible!”
“Welcome, contestant #3! Hop right up here like a kangaroo, mate!” Chris called.
“You know, you can speak here without using stereotypes.” Alejandro commented.
“But it’s more fun thi way.” Chris smiled.
After Sierra had scaled the stairs, she joined Courtney and Alejandro. Courtney was laughing. “Oh god, Alejandro, you’re bad! Tell her what you said!”
“I’ve eaten noodles with more mass and weight than Noah.” Alejandro repeated, only for Courtney to laugh again. Sierra raised an eyebrow.
Sierra (CONF): Courtney is never this happy. Like, ever. Even in episode 12 of season 1 “Basic Straining” when her relationship with Duncan was blossoming was she this happy. And that episode delighted Duncney shippers everywhere! What is going on?
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Sierra asked Courtney, who shrugged and walked over.
“Are you like….feeling okay? Do you have heat stroke? Are you allergic to Eucalyptus?” Sierra asked.
“Yeah, I’m actually feeling a lot better! What’s wrong?” Courtney asked.
“It’s just...you seem so upbeat and happy. I’m not used to it!” Sierra said.
Courtney chuckled. “I’m allowed to be happy, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, but are you sure Alejandro is trustworthy. He seems shady to me.” Sierra commented.
“Look, if you’re jealous the hottest guy of the season is into me, get over it. I have had the worst few days of the season, I deserve this!” Courtney declared and walked away.
Sierra stared into the camera and then walked away,
Gwen and Leshawna’s emus approached Hanging Rock. “Looks like we’re some of the first ones here!” Leshawna cheered.
“Maybe we WON’T lose a challenge for once.” Gwen chuckled
Gwen and Leshawna slowly scaled the rock and finally reached the top. They walked over to Courtney and Sierra panting. “Man, it’s hot. I’m sweating like Heather in church!” Leshawna complained.Gwen and Sierra chuckled.
“Yeah.” Courtney replied and walked over to Alejandro. Leshawna glared.
Leshawna (CONF): I felt bad for voting against that girl at first, but now she is working my LAST NERVE. At this point, I’m fully on Team Gwen. Maybe some people just deserve to have their boyfriends stolen….
“Your team is certainly excelling in the challenge.” Alejandro commented.
“I know. It’s never happened before.” Courtney deadpanned. “Today really is a good day, huh?”
“Well for you, yes. Voting off Heather or Noah won’t be a challenge for us, but it seems there are more….pressing target s on your side.” Alejandro commented.
Courtney stood and thought, as her face shifted.
Courtney (CONF): I know I have the votes against Gwen, I can get her out now…..why would I want to WIN this challenge?
“Alejandro, you might be a genius.” Courtney smirked.
Eva rode towards Hanging Rock yelling at her emu. “LET’S GO! MUSH! MUSH!!!!!” she screamed.
“You’re scaring it!” DJ complained riding behind her, as he fed his emu a piece of celery. They both reached the rock and dismounted.
“Stairs are that way!” Chris called. Eva rolled her eyes and started walking, along with DJ and his emu.
“You don’t have to bring the emu, bro.” Chris said.
“He has a name!” DJ insisted. “Me and Edgar are goin together!”
“Didn’t want to have to do it, buuut…” Chris picked up a dingo and threw at the emu and it began chasing it into the horizon before it pounced and grisly noises could be heard. “The predator-prey relationship in its natural habitat.” Chris commented in an australian accent. “How wild!”
“EDGAR?” DJ called “EDDIE? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”
DJ sniffled incessantly as he walked up the stairs. “Dude, man up.” Eva scoffed
Eva (Cockpit CONF): DJ has a good heart. He’s a nice guy. Which is exactly why he’s so frustrating to be with. To handle competition you have to be STRONG, and if he’s more worried about hurting animals then losing the challenge, he needs to GET IT TOGETHER!
“What you yelling for?” Chef yelled.
Eva turned around and stared Chef directly in the eyes. “I’m sorry.” he replied meekly before turning back to the wheel.
“Come on team….just a few more….” Alejandro muttered to himself.
Heather and Tyler slowly approached Hanging Rock on emus.
Alejandro peered out onto the horizon. “Yes!” he cheered.
“Who woulda thought I’d be happy to see Heather?” Eva scoffed.
Alejandro stared at the two riding closer to them longer and looked even further down. “Wait a second…”
“Is that Geoff?” Courtney said, shocked.
“WHAT’S UP DUDES?!” He called from the leg of Tyler’s emu, who he was still clinging onto.
“Get your butt up here Geoff!” Leshawna called, smiling.
“It’s time for us to finally win a challenge!” Gwen cheered.
“Oh, joy.” Courtney muttered.
Geoff appeared at the top. “Dude…..that’s a lot of stairs.” he huffed, as Heather and Tyler walked in behind them.
“Where was my “yelling from the top of a cliff” welcome?” Heather asked.
“You have to be happy to see the person.” Alejandro commented.
Courtney laughed out loud. “Alejandro, you are BAD!”
Leshawna raised an eyebrow. “What is that?”
Sierra sighed. “So gross I don’t even want to think about it.
“Whatever, doesn’t matter.” Gwen said running up to Chris. “What’s the challenge?” she asked.
“Woah, someone’s excited. Is it prolonged exposure to the sun?” Chris asked.
“Less snarky comments, more challenge.” Gwen said.
“Well, since you’re so excited….” Chris removed the giant tarp from the edge of the cliff which revealed bungee jumping cords and razors. “For part two, you just have to do a teeny wittle cliff dive to pick up a sheep! Then, you gotta shave it to find your team logo. If it’s not there, go back down and get another one til you find it!”
The girls grimaced. “You look less excited now. I wonder why?”
Gwen rolled her eyes. “Let’s get this over with.” she grumbled.
“Oh, I’ll go first.” Courtney walked in front of Gwen and started putting on the bungee equipment.
“What’s up with her?” Gwen whispered to Leshawna.
“Beats me.” Leshawna shrugged.
Courtney jumped off the cliff. “Oh nooooo!” she yelled, she tried to grab a sheep. “Oh, darn!” she said woodenly as she missed the sheep and came back up.
“It’s okay Courtney, everyone makes mistakes!” Sierra called.
“I’ll try again!” Courtney said. She jumped again and wildly flailed in the general direction of a sheep. “Oopsies!”
Leshawna’s eyes narrowed as she stared at Courtney.
Leshawna (CONF): That girl is the most competitive person I’ve ever met, and suddenly she’s missing sheep conveniently. If we lose the challenge, Courtney can pick Gwen off just like that. And I know the thing here that makes someone lose all sense…...Alejandro.
“What’s wrong with you?” Leshawna complained, unstrapping Courtney from the bungee equipment.
“Hey, one more try!” Courtney said. Leshawna glared back.
Trent rode in on his emu, and Noah followed far behind him.
“It’s the rest of our team!” Tyler called.
“HURRY UP LOS INCOMPETENTES!” Alejandro screamed. The contestants all stared at him.
“Seems like someone’s mask is slipping.” Heather said in a sing-song voice as she walked by.
“What’s the challenge?” Noah asked, huffing when he reached the top of the cliff.
“I’ll show you.” Alejandro strapped Noah into the bungee equipment. “Get the sheep, or you’re next.” he whispered into Noah’s ear before shoving him off the cliff.
“AHHHHHH!” Noah screamed as he plummeted to earth. He quickly got his bearings near the bottom and grabbed a sheep.
“Wow, didn’t expect that.” Trent commented.
“How is NOAH doing better than you?” Leshawna called at Courtney.
“Let me try!” Gwen said, running up and unhooking Courtney who gave her a death glare.
Gwen dove and returned with a sheep. “Yes!” she cheered.
“Woo! See, it’s not that hard.” Leshawna said to Courtney, who rolled her eyes.
The contestants groaned. “I’m never gonna stop making you do it. So you might as well get used to it!” Chris smiled.
Leshawna: Shearing sheep, don’t be a creep, it’s the only way we’ll fly first peeps!
Sierra: (turning to Courtney): Win the game, don’t be so lame, try and lose this and your FACE I’ll MAIM.
Courtney: Shearing sheep and with a smile, make yourself a giant wooly wooly wooly pile! You had your chance, and you turned him down so don’t be giving me no cranky frowns!
Team Cody: WE ARE SHEARING SHEEP! WE ARE SHEARING SHEEP! WE ARE SHEARING SHEEP! WE ARE SHEARING SHEEP!
Alejandro: (glaring at Noah) Shearing sheep instead of YOU, only cause you don’t have any tattoos!
Trent: We’ll find the logo!
Heather: We’ll win again!
Tyler: And I’ll be here til the bItter end!
Team Chris: WE ARE SHEARING SHEEP! WE ARE SHEARING SHEEP! WE ARE SHEARING SHEEP! WE ARE SHEARING SHEEP! Tyler continued to play his guitar dramatically. “Dude, the moments over.” Chris said, putting his hand on his shoulder.
“How about we put that energy into cliff diving?” Alejandro smiled, leading Tyler to the cliff.
“I’ll go! No fear! Extreme!” Tyler declared.
“We need to hurry up if we wanna win!” Leshawna yelled.
“I’ll go! I’ve got mad hops, yo!” Geoff said, flexing his calves.
“Alright, relax.” Leshawna said.
Sierra finished shaving the sheep that Gwen brought. “No logo!” she moaned.
“You’re up, party boy!” Leshawna announced.
“Wait!” Courtney yelled. “I want a chance to redeem myself.”
“No way!” Gwen said.
“So you get to CHEAT WITH MY BOYFRIEND and I don’t get to collect a few sheep? I see how it is!” Courtney screamed, grabbing the razor from Sierra and holding it towards Gwen, who backed up.
“Sorry, do what you want to do, girl!” Gwen stared into the camera.
“Are you gonna actually get a sheep this time?” Leshawna raised an eyebrow.
“I sure will try my best!” Courtney smiled suspiciously wide.
“I’m cool with it. Make us proud, dudette!” Geoff said, unhooking from thebungee cord. Gwen and Leshawna groaned.
“They can bicker, but I know you guys trust me!” Tyler said, revving up.
“Trust is a pretty strong word.” Noah commented.
“LET’S DO IT! EXTREEEEME!” Tyler ran and leaped off the cliff, he then came back with a dingo. “Oh no! What the hell is this?!”
“Oh, did we not tell you about those?” Chris asked rhetorically. “Just something to make this a lil more fun!”
“Oh no.” Tyler said as he was catapulted back up with the dingo still trying to attack him. He catapulted back up again moments later with very visible injuries, and then finally with a sheep. He faceplanted onto the top of the rock. “I got one….” he said weakly.
“Now THAT’S dedication!” Eva smiled
“Aw, DARN!” Courtney said sheepishly as she dropped a sheep.
“Are you serious?!” Gwen said
“You’re not winning any academy awards any time soon, girl!” Leshawna rolled her eyes.
“I’m sorry that I’m STRUGGLING!” Courtney complained.
Alejandro was shaving Team Chris’s sheep. “Is that….” he smiled as the Team Chris logo was revealed on the sheep’s body. “Victory!”
“YES!” Heather cheered.
“Aw. yeah…” Tyler cheered from the ground.
“That’s yet another win for Team Chris! Wow, you guys are unstoppable. Unlike Team Cody, who has proven to be very much stoppable. You’re going to elimination….again...tonight….for the fourth time in a row….”
“You don’t have to rub it in.” Gwen said.
“Well, at least we tried our best!” Courtney smiled. The rest of the team glared at her.
Tyler (CONF): See, I might fall down a lot, but when it comes down to it, I’m a valuable member of the team! Grabbed the win, baby! *takes tooth out of back* I hope I’m not internally bleeding…..
“Sad we couldn’t pull out a win today huh? Time to get rid of Gwen!” Courtney said happily to Sierra.
“No.” Sierra said plainly.
Courtney stepped back as her face contorted. “What do you mean NO?” she asked.
“You acted like a lovestruck little girl all day, and threw the challenge on purpose. I don’t think that should be rewarded. I’m voting for Leshawna.” Sierra said calmly.
“But I’ve been talking about how Gwen needs to go for ages!” Courtney complained. “I’m not voting for anyone else!
“Well, they’re gonna vote for you so…unless you wanna go home, probably makes sense to stay on my side.” Sierra smiled.
“Are you blackmailing me?” Courtney exclaimed.
“I see it more as incentive based strategy.” Sierra commented.
“I- ugh!” Courtney stomped away.
“Geoff, I know you like me more than her.” Gwen pleaded.
“I know dudette, but I feel bad, I already pledged my loyalty and stuff.” Geoff sighed.
“She lost the challenge on purpose! Voting off Gwen is just playing into her hand!” Leshawna said panickedly.
“I guess you’re right too…..man, I feel like we never did this much strategy on the island!” Geoff sighed.
Courtney grabbed Geoff’s arm. “We need to talk.” she said, and yanked him away from Gwen and Leshawna.
“We’re voting off Leshawna.” Courtney cringed as she broke the news.
“Leshawna? But she’s like the coolest chick here! No offense…” Geoff said.
“None taken. But Sierra refuses to vote for Gwen, and if you don’t vote with us, I’m going home! You want me to stay, right?” Courtney smiled.
“Uhhh….” Geoff stared blankly.
Courtney (CONF): How dare she! The nerve! But….I don’t have any other options…...without her, I’m toast….and I still have to convince Geoff about voting for Leshawna instead….ugh, I am so screwed! I HATE asking for help, but I think I have to….
“Alejandro……” Courtney said, as she approached him sitting in first class.
“What’s wrong, chica?” Alejandro asked.
“I think I’m going home tonight.” Courtney sat down in a first class chair and began softly crying. “I’ve just had such a bad few days….Duncan cheated on me, and he’s gone, and now Sierra’s blackmailing me to vote out Leshawna and Geoff doesn’t want to…”
“I’m sorry, blackmailing you?” Alejandro stood up, indignant. “That is an absolute villainous move! Don’t worry, I will fight for you…”
Alejandro (CONF): I knew Sierra was smarter than she let on, but this move is truly heinous….it’s almost something I would do…
Alejandro approached Geoff. “What are you thinking, compadre?”
“I dunno man, everyone’s like strategizing and stuff, it’s kinda making my brain hurt. I think I’m just gonna vote out Courtney….it’ll probably make everyone else happy.” Geoff shrugged.
‘Hmm…..well, I do hope you care about my well-being, and seeing Courtney eliminated...it would not make me happy. Remember our alliance?” Alejandro asked.
“Uh...sorta….that was kind of a while ago, man…” Geoff muttered.
“Well, I think Courtney staying is great for us. She’s a number for us, and she’ll always be an easy target. I think the same of Gwen. Leshawna however…..she has the potential to win the game.” Alejandro said.
“Yeah...she probably would’ve won season 1 without that stupid twist!” Geoff’s eyes widened.
“Just remember who really has your back.” Alejandro said as he walked away.
Geoff (CONF): Dude, I love Leshawna and I don’t want to vote her out….but I can’t betray Alejandro, he’s never betrayed me! Except for the time he made out with my girlfriend, but that was a misunderstanding, right?
The 5 remaining Team Cody members sat at elimination. “Wow, 4 losses in a row. You guys are reaching new levels of patheticness! It’s time to vote!” Chris smiled.
Gwen (CONF) *happily stamps Courtney*
Sierra (CONF): *grins evilly and stamps Leshawna*
Geoff (CONF): *hesitantly stamps passport*
“The votes are in!” Chris smiled as he held up passports. “And I have barf bags for...Geoff!”
Geoff caught his and threw the hang 10 sign. “Sierra!” Chris announced as he threw the barfbag.
Sierra squealed as she caught hers. “And...in a shock to us all, GWEN!” Chris announced and chuckled.
“Wait, what?” Gwen said, as she looked around sense.
“Yeah, I love you girl, but that don’t make no sense!” Leshawna complained.
“Strange, isn’t it?” Chris said. “The girl who everyone seems to like, Leshawna, and the girl who seems to have very few friends, Courtney. Seems like an easy decision, right?”
“Can you cut the suspense already and tell us who’s leaving!” Leshawna complained.
“Fine. The final barf bag goes to………..
...COURTNEY!” Chris announced as he threw her a bag.
“Yes!” Courtney cheered.
“What?!” Gwen said. “Voting her out to get back at me is LOW, guys.”
“It’s not all about you Gwen, god.” Sierra complained. “Self-centered much?”
Leshawna sighed. “Y’all are some shady mother--” she stood and censored herself. “Freaked. I expected this from them, but you, Geoff?”
“Sorry, dudette.” Geoff frowned.
Leshawna put her parachute on and held Gwen’s hands. “You got this. I know it’s gonna be hard, but you can’t give up. You made it this far already, right?” Leshawna smiled.
“It’s gonna be hard without you.” Gwen whimpered.
“You’ll make it. You did it the first time. Just don’t listen to her.” Leshawna said.
“I’m right here!” Courtney yelled.
“I know.” Leshawna said. She looked out the plane exit. “Now, do I really HAVE to jump--”
“Yep!” Chris smiled and shoved her out of the plane.
“I HATE THIS SHOOOOOW!” Leshawna screamed as she fell.
“Well, another one bites the dust. How will Team Cody deal with one of their only sane team members being eliminated? Will Team Chris ever lose a challenge? And what inventive ways will I find to torture these kids next? Find out next time on Total...Drama...World Tour!”
Chapter Seventeen- Sweden Sour
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our remaining contestants made some blunders down under! Alejandro and Courtney started the most sinister flirtation of all time, freaking out the rest of Team Cody. What freaked them out even more was Courtney’s obvious challenge throw! Tyler finally did something right and snatched a victory from the jaws of a dingo! And when Sierra blackmailed Courtney for her poor performance, Gwen somehow STAYED and Leshawna got sent packing! See ya later, sister! There’s only 11 teens left, the drama’s building to a heat, and we’re about to go somewhere real cold. It’s time for some Total...Drama...World Tour!”
Heather sat in first class alone. She stood and walked up to Eva. “Hey girl!” Heather smiled.
“No.” Eva replied.
“Fine.” Heather scoffed and walked away.
Heather (CONF): These people are IMPOSSIBLE! I have TRIED to work with Eva, and it is impossible. Noah’s the only one on my side! DJ’s a coward, Tyler’s an idiot, no WAY am I working with Snakejandro. That only leaves...Trent. I’m sure he’s not holding a grudge, right?
“Hey….buddy….” Heather smiled with an utter lack of sincerity
“What do you want?” Trent muttered.
“You just seem down. I don’t want a friend to be sad.” Heather put her hand on Trent’s back.
“I think we’ve had maybe two conversations this whole time.” Trent rolled his eyes.
“So let’s start now! What’s on your mind?” Heather asked.
“Well, I don’t have real faith in anyone, and the love of my life kissed a total jerk and has become a completely unrecognizable person.” Trent muttered.
“Okay, so I can’t fix the Gwen part, but the game part is totally up my alley! You should flip on Alejandro!” Heather smiled.
“To who?” Trent raised an eyebrow.
“Um….me….and Noah….” Heather trailed off.
“Yeah, I’ll pass on that one.” Trent said.
“You can’t trust Alejandro! I didn’t think you were that dumb!” Heather pleaded.
“Of course I don’t trust Alejandro, guy’s clearly a scumbag….but what can I do about it? What does winning the game even matter? It won’t make me happy….” Trent sighed.
Heather (CONF): He doesn’t even care about winning the game? What kind of psychopath am I dealing with here? Imagine letting your game get clouded by *scoffs* emotions…..
DJ yawned. “Good morning, y’all.” he smiled. “Feels good to keep waking up in first class!”
“Sure does, buddy!” Heather flashed a fake smile.
“Ugh.” Trent grimaced. “Why don’t you rope him into your scheme?”
“Believe me, I tried. He’s just an extension of Eva.” Heather rolled her eyes. “Not that you’re my second choice or anything….”
“Yeah, whatever you say.” Trent grabbed a travel magazine and began reading.
DJ stared at Heather and Trent talking, and then looked at Eva, who had her headphones in.
DJ (Cockpit CONF): I’ve never seen Heather have a cordial conversation with Trent….or most people. I’ve never been too into the whole strategy thing, but maybe something’s goin’ on there....I think I’ll keep this secret from Eva. It’s time to be my own person!
DJ turned to Chef. “DON’T tell her I said that!” he plead.
Courtney stretched, and some of her joints cracked. “Ugh. I’m ready to start winning challenges. This economy class thing is not for me.” she grumbled.
“Maybe we would’ve won last time if someone didn’t throw it…” Gwen muttered.
“What was that, BOYFRIEND STEALER?” Courtney asked.
“Nothing!” Gwen smiled sheepishly.
Courtney (CONF): I have been trying to get Gwen out forEVER. First we vote out Bridgette for some reason, then Ezekiel gets disqualified, then Sierra blackmails me into getting rid of Leshawna? I’m sick of it! She’s. Gotta. Go.
The remaining 11 contestants stood in the common area. “Gutentag, travelers!” Chris smiled and waved.
“Didn’t we already go to Germany?” Gwen questioned.
“They’re not the only people who speak German, dummy.” Chris chuckled. “Just like our next destination, Sweden!”
“I believe they speak Swedish in Sweden.” Alejandro kindly corrected.
“Swedish? No way that’s real!” Chris scoffed.
“This is sad.” Courtney said.
Chris typed on his phone furiously and his face dropped. “Well, you know what? Fine, you guys don’t even get a destination overview.” Chris pulled a cord that opened the bottom of the floor, and once again, the remaining contestants fell out of the plane.
“This is getting old.” Trent grumbled as he flew through the air.
“You HAD to correct him?” Sierra stared up at Gwen, who shrugged sheepishly.
The contestants landed in an extremely frigid pool. “Th-th-this is ridiculous! I only brought my crop top!” Heather complained.
“Maybe you should’ve been more prepared.” Eva grunted as she stretched out her under armor under her shirt and shorts.
Eva (Cockpit CONF): An athlete is prepared for any weather at any time! *rips off clothes to reveal bathing suit underneath)
Chef stared. “What?” Eva asked.
The contestants stood on the ice. “C-c-can we get jackets or something?” Gwen complained.
“I’m just not really feeling it today.” Chris said smugly. “Maybe if they spoke German here….”
“How are you blaming us for that?” Gwen moaned.
“We didn’t invent Swedish!” Courtney complained.
Chris shrugged. “Life is hard, y’all. Anyway, Sweden is known for uh….” Chef handed him notecards. “Vikings!”
“Wow, prepared as always.” Noah rolled his eyes.
A large pile of wood and metal was airdropped. ‘Aaand there’s your material for this week’s challenge! You’re getting in the viking spirit by building your own ships!”
“Like...a full ship?” Heather said, sounding shocked.
“How the hell are we supposed to do that?” Gwen whined.
“Through ingenuity and hard work! Whoever has the best ship at the end of three hours wins!” Chris smiled. “Part one!”
Everyone’s faces dropped. “Really?” Heather complained.
“It’s season 3. One part challenges are SO TDI.” Chris rolled his eyes.
“Are there any limitations on the kind of ship we can build?” Trent asked.
“Uhhhh….no, I don’t really care.” Chris paused and added. “Weird question.”
“Just trying to be sure….” Trent said.
“Haha, okay nutjob. As for the rest of you, the supplies are...in that huge pile.” Chris gestured. “Go!”
Sierra ran into the pile, and started grabbing wood and metal. “Aww, this one is so skinny! Reminds me of Cody….”
Geoff grabbed a piece of wood. “This would be perfect to surf on!” he observed. “Aww, makes me think of Bridgette…”
“Alright guys, I know everyone misses people, but we need to get to work. We can’t lose this challenge!” Courtney said.
“Ironic, since you lost us the last one.” Gwen muttered.
“Huh?” Courtney asked.
“Nothing.” Gwen grinned.
Gwen (CONF): I know I should still be nice to Courtney, and I DID feel bad. But after her hellbent quest to get rid of me, I need to blow off some steam. How long is the boyfriend kissing apology period? Like 4 episodes?
“Ignoring THAT, it’s time to work together as a team. I think we can do it!” Courtney cheered.
“Yeah, dudette!” Geoff cheered.
“Go team!” Sierra added.
“Alright, le--” Gwen began.
“You don’t get a cheer.” Courtney declared before walking away.
“What’s the gameplan here?” Eva asked. “Unfortunately, I don’t know that much about building ships. I wish we were fighting like vikings.”
“Well, I don’t mean to brag, but I have been to multiple projects to help fortunate kids in need in foreign countries.” Alejandro smiled.
“Awww…” DJ grinned. Heather feigned putting her finger down her throat to Noa.
“Actually, I want to lead on this one.” Trent said.
“Really? You?” Eva asked.
“Yeah, I have a whole concept.” Trent nodded quickly.
“What is it?” Tyler asked.
“Uhhh... I think I’m gonna work alone.” Trent said as he began hanging a tarp and gathering materials.
“I am NOT sitting a challenge out.” Eva declared, walking to tear down the screen.
“Patience, muchacha.” Alejandro put his hand on her shoulder. “He is technically a part of our alliance. Let’s support him.”
“Really?” Eva asked.
“And if he messes up, he is an easy target.” Alejandro commented.
“That sounds more like it.” Eva said.
Trent (CONF): I’ve been depressed since London….but suddenly….this flash of inspiration! I know what I HAVE to make….
Sierra sat next to Geoff and began hammering in bolts. “How ya doin?” she asked.
“This challenge rocks!” Geoff flashed a thumbs up. “No strategy, we just gotta do manual labor? Lightwork!”
“Yeah, I hope we win and don’t have to go to elimination again. I don’t want to be like the Killer Bass, or worse….” Sierra shuddered. “The Killer Grips.”
“Hey, I was a Killer Bass!” Geoff asserted, then shrugged. “You’re right though, we weren’t that good…”
“Yeah, what would even happen if we lost the next challenge?” Sierra questioned.
“I dunno man, I try not to think about it. No neggy vibes!” Geoff said.
“I’m all about manifestation. Like, I would chant to myself for 2 hours every day. “I WILL MEET CODY.” and then I did! Stuff like that really works!” Sierra smiled.
Sierra (CONF): To be honest, me and Geoff are veeery different people. I don’t really go to many parties, unless they’re on a discord voice call or rabb.it. THAT’S a good time.
“Well, what I was thinking about is...we have the deciding votes.” Sierra said.
“What do you mean?” Geoff asked.
“Gwen is gonna vote for Courtney. Courtney’s gonna vote for Gwen. Whichever one of the two we choose to vote for will go home.” Sierra explained.
Sierra (CONF): Courtney has proven herself to be a loose cannon. She’s kinda untrustworthy, and I definitely don’t like whatever’s brewing with her and Alejandro. I’ll never trust Gwen after the googly eyes that slag gave to Cody, and Heather’s’ on the other team! I need a new ally, and while Geoff may not seem like my type, he’ll probably be easy to control. OMG, I am SO getting a CP for this episode.
“Well, how do you even know we’ll lose? We could win the challenge.” Geoff commented.
“Yeah, but….let’s be real, how likely is that?” Sierra asked, and gestured to Team Chris. “They have a tarp hiding their construction site, for God’s sake!”
“That’s true.” Geoff shrugged. “Thanks for the talk, dudette. I’m glad someone wants to make decisions with me, and not use me.”
“I would never, Geoff! You were always one of my favorites. Trial by Tri-Armed Triathalon is basically a Total Drama classic!” Sierra smiled, and walked back over to Courtney, who was sketching blueprints.
“Why were you talking to him?” Courtney asked, seeming annoyed.
“I’m expanding our horizons, Courtney.” Sierra smiled. “Jeez, am I not allowed to have friends?” she chuckled.
Courtney stared intensely. “Yeah, but-”
“Need I remind that you were almost voted out last night.” Sierra added.
“Seems to me you should be grateful I’m trying to make connections that benefit you.” Sierra smiled and stared at the boat. “Great work so far, guys!” she walked over to Gwen and Geoff.
Courtney stared ahead of her, vacantly and angrily.
Eva stamped her foot impatiently. “ARE YOU ALMOST DONE IN THERE?” she yelled.
“Yes! True art takes work!” Trent called back.
“I HATE being sidelined. This boat better be the best thing on Earth, or he’s outta here!” Eva declared.
“Don’t stress muchacha. I don’t believe Trent will let us down. He’s always been reliable.” Alejandro stated.
“Alright! I’m finished!” Trent called from behind the sheet.
“Finally!” Eva moaned.
“I present to you, a perfect representation of goodness...before it turns evil….a pure soul. I present: Gwen circa Total Drama Island!” Trent pulled the curtain back to reveal a giant wooden bust of Gwen’s head wearing a halo.
Team Chris stared in horror. Eva picked up a hammer and began chasing Trent. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” she yelled.
- ”It’s art!!!!” Trent hollered back.
“Oh….oh, god.” Gwen stared in horror.
“Lookin’ good!” Courtney pushed Gwen as she walked by.
Chris began laughing hysterically. “THIS is why we got 3 seasons. And just to spice everything up…”
Gwen glared at Chris. “Really?”
“I want this to be immortalized.” Chris chuckled.
Heather: They’re way ahead, so we’ve got to go!
Eva: We’ve got to build something to sail, something we can row!
Alejandro: It doesn’t have to be a boat!
DJ & Tyler: As long as it stays afloat!
Heather, Eva, DJ, Noah, Alejandro, & Tyler: Oh why did we build Gwen’s face!
Geoff, Courtney & Sierra: We’re almost ready to set sail!
Courtney: Just hammering in the final nail!
Geoff: We really built this fast!
Sierra: Now we’ll finally see first class!
Gwen: Because he built MY face……
Heather, Eva, DJ, Noah, Alejandro, & Tyler: We built Gwen’s face!
Geoff, Courtney & Sierra: We’re gonna take first place!
Heather, Eva, DJ, Noah, Alejandro, & Tyler: Because we built Gwen’s face!
Heather, Eva, DJ, Noah, Alejandro, & Tyler: We built Gwen’s face!
Eva: OH YEAH-A-YEAH-A-YEAH-YEAH!
“I didn’t know you could sing.” Noah smirked.
“Do you wanna get hit next?” Eva asked, still holding a mallet.
“I expressed how I was feeling…..I don’t think I should be penalized.” Trent said.
“I WILL END YOUR LIFE.” Eva walked towards him angrily.
“It’s not even a boat!” Heather complained.
“You’re thinking too inside-the-box. Her head is hollow….just like her soul…” Trent mourned.
“I am still within earshot!” Gwen added.
Eva walked up to Alejandro. “HE’S GONE.” Eva grunted.
“But what about Noah?” Alejandro pleaded.
“G. O. N. E.” Eva grunted.
Alejandro (CONF): I wanted to keep Trent in the game as a pawn, but after this disastrous performance….it seems inevitable. Hopefully, we can win this challenge like all the others and not even have to deal with it. The thought of not having control….*eye twitches*
“What exactly was he thinking?” Noah asked.
Heather sighed. “He wasn’t. All his thoughts were consumed by HER. I can’t imagine being that into mean goth girl.”
“Well, it seems like we’ll be safe for another week.” Noah shrugged.
“So Alejandro can pick us off next?” Heather complained.
“I don’t know what you want me to do about that.” Noah said, as he sawed the top of Gwen’s head off.
Heather approached Trent. “You really screwed the pooch on this one, huh?”
“Are you just here to gloat?” Trent muttered. “Because if you are, I’m fine with you jumping in the sea.”
“Um, RUDE. I’m just trying to be a friend.” Heather smiled.
“And manipulate me for my vote?” Trent asked.
“50-50. I know you think I’m some heinous monster--” Heather began.
“I wonder why.” Trent muttered.
“But I know what it’s like to be all alone on the bottom of the team. I have been for like, a million challenges in a row.” Heather said.
“Thanks, I guess.” Trent said, still picking at the ice.
Heather (CONF): Did I just make...legitimate progress. At making an ally? Not even an ally.but a friend? Where am I?
“Time is UP!” Chris announced. “Let’s examine your boats!”
“Oh, jesus.” Alejandro put his head in his hands.
Chris examined Team Cody’s boat. “Wow, a full blown viking ship! For a group of randoms who have never done well in any challenge, like ever, pretty good!” Chris gave a thumbs up.
“Yes, first class here we come!” Courtney fist pumped.
“And now for Team Chris’ masterpiece…” Chris chuckled.
“Thank you.” Trent smiled weakly.
“He’s not serious.” Eva glared at Trent.
“You’re right, I’m not. This is a piece of crap!” Chris kicked Gwen’s head.
“I put time and effort into that!” Trent complained.
“Shoulda put more in. Team Cody wins part 1!” Chris announced. Team Cody cheered.
“Finally, we win something!” Sierra rejoices, hugging Geoff and Gwen. Courtney stared inquisitively.
“Maybe next time, don’t go for something so obviously and painfully creepy. Okay, buddy?” Chris gently tapped Trent on the back.
“Don’t condescend to me.” Trent muttered.
“For winning part one, Team Cody will get an advantage in WAR!” Chris beat a drum dramatically.
“Sweden is actually a historically neutral country.” Alejandro commented.
“Next person to correct my history is going to swim with the fishes in the freezing cold water!” Chris declared.
“Well, earlier it was geography…” Courtney said, as Chris shot her a death glare. “Shutting up now.”
“Appreciate it.” Chris rolled his eyes. “Now that everyone’s ships are built, you’re gonna use them and go toe-to-toe in an epic viking war! The winner gets first class, the loser gets to sit with me at elimination, where one of you will begin a very long stay in Sweden.” Chris chuckled
“What exactly are the….rules for this war?” Gwen asked.
“It’s war. There are no rules! Whoever’s boat sinks first loses, other than that anything goes!” Chris chuckled evilly. “It’s gonna be gruesome. Team Cody, you guys get to go out to sea 15 minutes early, and a cannon with some ammo!”
Chef rolled out a large mound of beige balls. “Chef Hatchet’s famous swedish meatballs!” Chris smiled.
“Using something that can’t hurt us? That seems awfully….kind...of you.” Courtney said hesitantly.
Tyler grabbed a meatball. “Aww, nice!” he cheered before attempting to bite into it, where the meatball stayed completely solid. “Ow…..”
“Yup, hard as a rock! Purely for battle, not for pleasure.” Chris smiled.
“That’s how my mama used to make them!” Chef protested.
“Tell your mama she’s a terrible cook.” Chris chuckled. Chef looked emotional and Chris immediately looked repentant. “I didn’t mean it like that…”
“Whatever, man.” Chef turned around and walked back into the plane dramatically.
“Ugh, I have to deal with that. Team Cody, your extra preparation time starts now. Go have fun, or whatever.” Chris said, shooing them away.
“Guys, we have an actual real lead for once. We can’t blow this!” Courtney said to the rest of her team.
“I mean, you were the one who blew it last ti--” Sierra began.
“Zip it.” Courtney said dramatically.
“Let’s not get snappy with each other today, bros. Let’s just work as a totally chill team!” Geoff smiled.
Geoff (CONF): The way I see it, our team always hates each other, and then we fight, and then we lose. What if instead of fighting….we just all worked together and were cool? I mean we’re already winning the challenge, we just gotta keep it up.
“I think Geoff’s idea is great. Negativity is bad for a team!” Sierra smiled.
“Yeah, I think we should spend all of today tryign to be the best friends we can!” Gwen grinned evilly.
Courtney’s eye twitched. “Yup. Woohoo! Love team spirit…” she angrily hoisted the flag. “WE’RE READY!” she screamed.
Sierra (CONF): OMG, Courtney is so ticked off that we’re working so well as a team, and especially that shs can’t be mean to Gwen. *laughs* I never thought that I would be able to manipulate people so well! I hope I’m not new Heather…..
“Team, let’s take off!” Alejandro declared, as Gwen’s Face plopped off the ice.
“It’s just so not cool….” Noah lamented
“I poured my soul into this!” Trent cried.
“PLEASE stop saying things like that. It makes this more pathetic than it already is…” Heather sighed.
Trent (Cockpit CONF): Nobody understands….nobody gets it….do you think it’s good?
“You really are sad, kid.” Chef said, not turning around. Trent sighed loudly.
“What weapons do we have? I want to destroy them!” eva declared.
Noah retreated into the head, and came out with a giant slingshot. “We have this big slingshot and...seems like that’s about it.”
“Goodbye first class breakfast…” DJ sniffled.
“Goodbye comfy, comfy chairs…” Heather sighed.
Eva slapped both of them. “SNAP OUT OF IT. I’m not giving up. We’ll win this challenge if I have to take down that ship with my bare teeth!
“The scary thing is, I completely believe it.” Heather whispered to Noah, who nodded, looking concerned.
Eva stood on the bow of Gwen’s head. “DO YOUR BEST, LOSERS!
“You remember they’re the ones with the cannon, right?” Noah asked plainly.
“If you want a battle, you’ve got it!” Courtney said. “Geoff! Load the cannon.”
“Woohoo! Go Team Cody! Fantastic four!” Sierra cheered.
“Okay, maybe that’s a little too much positivity.” Gwen put her hand on Sierra’s shoulder.
Geoff put a swedish meatball in the cannon and aimed. “Let’s go!” he cheered as it fired, barreling straight towards the middle of Gwen’s head, creating a hole in the middle, where the team’s hiding spot was exposed.
“That’s just great.” Heather complained.
“Her face! Her beautiful face!” Trent cried.
“Dude, get a grip.” Noah said.
“Yeah...I heard it that time…” Trent sighed.
“Their ship is exposed! Show no mercy! LET’S WIN THIS THING!” Courtney said, reloading the cannon.
“Uh….couldn’t we like, hurt someone with the middle exposed?” Gwen commented.
“Yeah, someone could get jacked up.” Geoff agreed.
“Love and war!” Courtney chuckled and fired the cannon.
“Oh no…” DJ said weakly as the rock-hard meatball barreled towards them. Heather stood in horror, in the direct path of the meatball.
“No!” Alejandro declared as he dramatically leaped in front of Heather, taking the blow.
“Oh my god.” Courtney gasped.
“Oh my god.” Heather ran to him. “Are you okay.”
“Simply protecting a teammate...no ulterior motive….mi amor.” Alejandro gasped out, before passing out.
Heather (CONF): Even when he’s saving me, he’s annoyingly cryptic... *blushes*
“Oh captain, my captain!” Tyler cried.
“Oh BROTHER.” Noah rolled his eyes
“I’m NOT going down without a fight!” Eva yelled. “Tyler, you wanna help?”
“I’m always ready to help the team!” Tyler fistpumped.
“Good, get in.” Eva pointed to the cannon.
“Wait, what?” Tyler said, as he was shoved in the cannon by Eva.
“Couldn’t that hurt him?” DJ questioned.
“This is WAR!” Eva declared, before firing the cannon.
“AHHHHHH!” Tyler screamed.
“Guys…” Sierra pointed to the airborn Tyler flying towards them.
“AHHHHH!” all of Team Cody screamed. Tyler crashed through the hull of the ship, as it began to sink.
“What?! How is OURS sinking?” Courtney complained. “There’s is so much better.”
“Gwen’s face being hollow means it’s buoyant, which means it doesn’t need the insides to float, just the ship to be intact.” Sierra commented.
‘So our ship is better designed! Hah! Vindication!” Trent cheered. His whole team looked at him. “I’ll stop talking now.”
“You’ll make it to first class sometime!” Noah mocked. A meatball immediately hit them in the head. “I probably deserved that one.”
Eva picked up a dumbbell from her bag and loaded it into the cannon. “Why do you carry that around with you?” Heather questioned.
“No days off!” Eva smiled as the cannon fired. It hit the already partly destroyed hull of the ship, leading it to start sinking even faster.
“Goodbye, first class...goodbye, massages…” Gwen sighed.
“Well, on the bright side, maybe you’ll get voted out and get to go home!” Sierra smiled.
Courtney rolled a giant and lumpy meatball. “I’m NOT losing. Load the cannon.”
“How’d you make that?” Geoff asked.
“I made a fire using some destroyed wood and melted them together.” Courtney explained, clearly pleased with herself.
“Uh, maybe less talking, more not losing.’ Sierra suggested, staring at the rapidly approaching water.
“FIRE!!” Courtney scream as she fired the cannon, it hit Team Chris’s ship just as Team Cody hti the water, and a massive explosion was seen.
Chris coughed and looked at everyone in the freezing water. “Wow. Now THIS is what I want from a challenge!”
“C-c-can you get us out of here?” Gwen complained.
“W-who won?!” Heather asked.
“Well, as awesome as it looked. Both ships sunk, so BOTH teams are going to elimination!” Chris smiled.
The contestants all groaned in unison. “I got salmonella for this!” Courtney complained.
“Them’s the breaks! See EVERYONE at the elimination ceremony tonight!” Chris waved.
“D-do we still not get jackets?” DJ shivered.
Trent sat alone in loser class. “Hey...can we talk?” Gwen asked.
“You want to talk to me?” Trent said, sounding surprised.
“Yeah, I figured I should.” Gwen said, looking uncomfortable.
“Well, they say the best conversations come out of obligation.” Trent muttered.
Gwen chuckled. “You’re funny. I forget, sometimes.”
“You didn’t think a giant wooden bust of your face was hilarious?” Trent commented.
“Surprisingly, no.” Gwen smiled. “What’s up with that?”
“I don’t know.” Trent admitted, putting his head in his hands. “I feel like I’m going crazy again, which I wanted to avoid this time. I guess just seeing you with Duncan...it really messed me up. You always told me you had no feelings for him…”
“I didn’t!” Gwen said defensively. “And then I did…”
“You’re allowed to, we’re not dating.” Trent said. “I’m just crazy and can’t get over relationships from the past.” He stared out the window.
“It’s not the past, Trent. Do you not think I think about us ALL THE TIME? It’s hard not to!” Gwen said.
“And now you get to think about how psycho I am.” Trent said.
“Listen, you had a moment of….extreme weakness.” Gwen said. “Just like me kissing Duncan. What matters is we move on, and I think we can do it together, in some way at least. I liked it when we could be friends at the beginning of the season. I miss that. I miss you, Trent. I feel like the past few rounds I’ve been spiraling. I wouldn’t be surprised if they voted me off tonight.”
“Neither would I.” Trent commented. “I mean, no offense, you just seem like you have a lot of enemies at this point.”
“I just don’t want to leave on bad terms, Trent.” She grabbed his hand. “We’re both going through stuff, but can’t we do it together?”
“I would really like that.” Trent smiled, and the two sat in a long silence. “No more busts of your face though, right?”
“Oh yeah, please never do that again.” Gwen pleaded.
“Fair.” Trent said.
Sierra walked up to Courtney. “What’s the plan BFF?” she asked, smiling.
“Oh, so now when we’re voting, we’re friends again.” Courtney scoffed.
“What are you talking about?” Sierra asked.
You undermining my authority and fraternizing with…” Courtney shuddered. “..Gwen.”
“You know what htey say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer!” Sierra declared.
Courtney (CONF): You know, I’m starting to see right through Sierra. She may be my “ally”, but I don’t think she’s a very good one!
“The plan is what the plan always is- vote for Gwen!” Courtney slammed her fist on the seat.
“Coolio! I totally have Geoff in my back pocket, so we’ve got it locked down!” Sierra grinned.
Sierra (CONF): I do have Geoff in my back pocket...and that means I can use him to vote out whichever one of Gwen or Courtney I want. *laughs evilly* Wow….I really understand how Heather feels all the time now!
Eva stormed into a conversation with Alejandro, DJ, and Tyler. “TRENT’S FINISHED.” she declared.
“Hey, isn’t he part of our alliance?” Tyler asked.
“Not anymore. Everything goes out the window when you ruin my chance at winning, and without him we had that WON!” Eva stomped her foot.
“Relax, chica. Don’t you see this as hasty. Isn’t Noah the biggest threat?” Alejandro suggested.
“No. Noah’s not a threat at all. He’s a scrawny loser with no strategy. It’s either Trent or Heather.” Eva declared.
“But don’t you think we should perhaps conside--” Alejandro began.
“Those are the options. Take them or LEAVE them.” Eva grunted.
“Trent did kinda bomb the challenge for us…” DJ rationalized.
“And no one likes Heather.” Tyler added.
“Fine. Whatever is best for the alliance.” Alejandro smiled through gritted teeth.
Alejandro (CONF): That ignorant bull-headed woman...I’ve been following her orders the whole season, but this is ridiculous! Who does she think she is? She’s in for a rude awakening….
Alejandro paced in the cargo hold as Heather approached him. “Hey…” Heather said, awkwardly.
“Hola, chica.” Alejandro smiled.
“Listen, I don’t want you to read into this or whatever…..but thank you for not letting me get hit by that meatball.” Heather admitted sheepishly.
“No problem. It was no match for my rock-hard abs.” Alejandro smiled.
“Really? Cause you seemed pretty hurt on the ground….” Heather said.
“Irrelevant. Listen, tonight your name is likely to come up.” Alejandro sighed.
Heather’s eyes widened. “Wait, WHAT? Is it Eva? I knew that she-beast was after me!”
“If you want to stay in, you need to vote for Trent.” Alejandro guided.
“Trent? But he’s not a threat at all! He’s like a sad, lovesick puppy. We NEED to get rid of Eva!” Heather declared.
“I cannot. I pledged my loyalty to her, and it’s not advantageous to betray her at this point.” Alejandro said.
“Who gives a crap about who your loyalty is pledged to?” Heather rolled her eyes. “Listen, I know you’re just like me. If we join forces and played this game together, we could be the strongest alliance here.” ‘ “Nothing more than an alliance?” Alejandro raised his eyebrow. Heather blushed.
“Well, we’ll see how it goes…” Heather quickly regained her composure “...you have to vote for me to stay first.” she said, walking out. Alejandro smiled faintly
The remaining 11 contestants sat at the elimination ceremony. Chris smiled. “Wow, today had everything. Drama, in-fighting, and potential hypothermia! Let’s get this show on the road!”
Courtney (CONF): How many times am I going to have to do this? *stamps Gwen*
Sierra (CONF): Sometimes, you’ve just got to cut your losses. *stamps Courtney*
Alejandro (CONF): This is a warning shot. *stamps Eva*
Heather (CONF): I can’t believe I’m trusting the devil...although I guess I’m also the devil. *stamps Trent*
Chris read the passports. “Wow. As much as I would love to read this juicy drama off for all of you, I’ve decided to give you a nice surprise for bringing the drama. Tonight is a reward challenge!” The contestants alternated between gasps and sighs of relief.
“Who wins the reward?” Eva asked.
“Since both teams lost, me and Chef do! Can’t wait for that feast and authentic Swedish massage.” Chris grinned as the contestants groaned.
“So that’s it? Just...no elimination?” Heather asked, sensing it being too good to be true.
“One more thing….I think the teams have outlived their usefulness, and most of you have proven to be conniving bastards, so I’m gonna declare you officially merged!” Balloons and streamers fell from the ceiling.
“YES!” Heather fist-pumped.
“Ugh….” Courtney grumbled.
“From now on, it’s every man, woman, and Eva for themselves. Take the night off..save the backstabbing for tomorrow!” Chris smiled, as the final 11 stared at each other with a combination of fear and anticipation. “11 contestants, no more teams, and a whole lot of drama. And trust me, the non-elimination episodes are OVER. Who’s getting the boot next? Find out next time on Total! Drama! World Tour!”
Chapter Eighteen- Niagra Brawls
“Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our contestants became seafarers in Sweden! When Geoff, Sierra, and Gwen discovered civility, Courtney was left out in the cold- literally! And Trent blew up his spot when he built a boat sized bust of Gwen’s head for his team’s ship! Scary, man. Heather made a friend and potentially more when Alejandro took a swedish meatball to the abs for her! Eventually, war ended how it always does, with both sides losing and two sunken ships. But thanks to my kindness, and wanting to preserve the drama, I decided to keep everyone and merge the teams! Now, only eleven are left and the claws are about to come out with a new,” Chris paused and added disdain to his voice. “Special guest arriving as well. It’s time for some Total Drama World Tour!”
All the contestants sat in economy class. “I know we all lost, but did he have to shove us all back here!?” Courtney asked, sitting next to a sweating Eva. “What did you just do?”
“Workout. No days off.” Eva declared.
“I can’t believe we’re merging at 11. I thought they’d go with the classic TDI 12, or if they really hated us the updated TDA 7.” Sierra declared. “Totally blew my fan theories to bits!”
“That’s so interesting.” Heather fake smiled.
“Ugh, I’m so glad we’re together again! My team was a mess….” Sierra sighed.
“At least you weren’t on the verge of elimination the whole time.” Heather scoffed. “Thank GOD the merge is here.”
“Well actually, I kinda was.” Sierra said.
Sierra (CONF): Thinking from after London where I was almost certainly going home, to now when I feel like I’m masterminding everything. I’m living my superfan dream! Unfortunately, being able to marry Cody hasn’t happened.
Noah slid up to the girls and Heather. “Hey….” he said in a deep voice.
“Was that your attempt to be discrete and smooth?” Heather asked.
“Listen. When you go home third you don’t get to do a lot of strategy. I’m kind of new to this whole thing.” Noah said.
“Well, we need all the numbers we need to take on Eva’s group, so you’re always welcome.” Heather plotted.
“Eva? Isn’t Alejandro the ultimate threat we’ve been building up against?” Noah raised an eyebrow.
“Well Eva is so strong in the challenges!” Heather pointed out.
“The challenges aren’t really based off pure strength. How does Eva have an advantage in...finding an alien?” Sierra pointed out.
“She’s STRONG okay. She’s a BODYBUILDER. I think we should focus on getting the numbers before we start looking for targets. 3 people doesn’t make an alliance.” Heather said quickly.
Noah (CONF): I was all onboard with Heather, but her sudden protection of Alejandro is….shady, to say the least. Wasn’t that literally the entire reason we made an alliance?
“Dude, we both made the merge!” Geoff fistbumped Alejandro.
“Our collective intelligences and challenge skills must have brought us here.” Alejandro smiled, then stared directly into the camera.
“Well, us Tyler, Trent, Eva, and DJ- that’s the numbers! Right?” Geoff began counting on his fingers.
“No, you’re correct.” Alejandro said. “I feel fairly certain that Courtney and Heather are with us as well.”
“Really?” Geoff raised an eyebrow. “I mean Courtney can be cool sometimes, but Heather is….harder.”
“I believe her threat level is overhyped. She just had to meet her match.” Alejandro smirked.
“Haha...sure….’ Geoff said, looking confused.
Geoff (CONF): I think Alejandro might be….into….Heather. I mean she’s super hot, but she’s like the devil! No dude on this show has gone for that! He might be a legend, man…..
“Coooontestants! Meet me in the common area in 5 minutes! And bring your most romantic attire!” Chris announced over the intercom.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Heather asked, looking around quickly.
“Easy, Juliet.” Trent muttered.
“One of us built a giant wooden head for their ex yesterday, and it wasn’t me.” Heather said plainly.
“I’m not gonna get to live that one down, huh?” Trent muttered.
“People tend not to.” Noah commented. Trent glared back.
“Doing a great job at building our alliance.” Heather muttered to Noah who rolled his eyes.
The contestants all stood in the plane’s common area. “Welcome to your first challenge as individuals! And for today’s location, we’re visiting the wedding capital of the world!” Chris announced.
“Vegas? Nice! Let’s party!” Geoff fist pumped.
“Can you bring back Cody? I have the papers drawn up already!” Sierra said, pulling a seemingly legitimate marriage license out of her pocket.
“Yeeeah….we were gonna go there, but couldn’t find somewhere to land.” The contestants groaned as Chris chuckled. “Instead, we’re heading back to the homeland- Niagara Falls!”
There were murmurs of general excitement. “I’ve always wanted to go to the falls!” DJ squealed.
“Yeah, this actually doesn’t suck for once!” Gwen smiled.
“And to fully immerse you in the beauty and majesty of the falls…” Chris chuckled as he pulled a string that removed the bottom of the plane and caused the contestants to fall out.
“You know, this is really losing its effect.” Trent commented
“Yeah, I’m kinda not phased anymore.” Gwen added and chuckled. The two smiled at each other.
The contestants all landed directly in a lifeboat. “Huh, that was kind of….nice of him.” Courtney said.
“Ummm……” Tyler stammered, looking ahead.
“The waterfall is behind me, isn’t it.” Courtney sighed as she turned around.
The contestants were all caught by a net to save them from almost certain death. “My life just flashed before my eyes….” DJ began to tear up. “It was pretty uneventful…”
The net then dropped them from a small height into the freezing cold water. “Had to get a last one in, huh?’ Noah called out angrily.
“Naturally!” Chris smiled.
The contestants stood in towels in the ballroom “You really dragged that one out, huh…” Heather grumbled.
“I was postponing this next part. So, by request of the network, a…” Chris’s eye twitched. “New co-host is joining our production staff!”
“I thought I was the co-host!” Chef complained.
“I know, buddy. I know.” Chris gave Chef a pat on the head.
“Is it Cody?!” Sierra asked excitedly.
“Is it Bridgette?” Geoff added.
“Is it Mama?” DJ jumped up and down.
“Why would it be-- whatever.” Chris shook his head. “It is my honor to introduce my new partner…..Blaineley!”
“What?” Heather said.
“Que?” Alejandro echoed.
“Who?” Courtney asked.
Blaineley: *appearing out of nowhere on podium* Blaine blaine blaine blaine BLAINERIFIC is my name, dishing dirt is my game, invade your TV with my blainelicious frame!
DJ: S-s-so terrific!
Blaineley: I’m f-f-famous! Famous!
Courtney: This is so against the rules! Do they think we’re a bunch of fools?
Blaineley: Rules? This ain’t no sunday school! They all know I’m a ratings jewel!
Geoff: She’s Blainerific!
Heather: M-m-make me sick!
Blaineley: I’m f-f-f-famous! Famous! Get me a half fat no foam latte steamed to a hundred two heat! I’m quite specific!
Trent: She’s Blainerific!
Alejandro: So so, horrific…..
Blaineley: I’m f-f-famous…..
Noah (simultaneous): Who’s that girl, again?
The music abruptly cut and Blaineley turned towards Noah with fury. “Who am I? Who am I? Who are YOU?” She then brought out laminated copies of her resume. “I’m the host of the puppy bachelorette. I was nominated for a Gemmie award.” She angrily pointed to Noah. “I interviewed YOU for Celebrity Manhunt.”
Blaineley: It’s a fact and scientific that I’m still Blainerific!
Eva, Gwen, Sierra: She’s not so famous, turns out she’s not so famous!
Blaineley scoffed. “Whatever.”
“Blaineley will be doing some light assisting.throughout. So,” Chris began.
“Today’s challenge! Niagara Falls! The most popular spot on earth for destination weddings. And for today’s challenge, you guys will be participating in the first 5 Total Drama marriages!” Blaineley announced.
“Um, explaining challenges is my thing? It’’s why they pay me the big bucks. You just don’t have the same flair!” Chris argued.
“The producers have told me they want a younger and more relatable host.” Blaineley smiled. “I’m testing better with most demos!”
“I’m young! I’m relatable! What the hell!” Chris yelled.
“As exciting as this argument is, did you say we have to get MARRIED?” Heather said, aghast.
“Yeah, like married married?” Gwen asked for confirmation.
“Do we get to pick to who?” Courtney asked, smiling at Alejandro.
Blaineley and Chris laughed, both trying to outdo the other. “No.” Chris said and opened his mouth to continue.
“We’re incorporating another favorite part of Niagara Falls and snapshot weddings: gambling! So all of our lovely men will be put in this slot machine,” Blaineley gestured to the giant machine. “And the brides will one by one, pull the lever for their soulmate for the day, til death do you part!”
“And on this show, that could be at anytime.” Chris chuckled and then stared at Blaineley. “These are the quips you just can’t nail.”
Blaineley scoffed. “Whatever. Intern!” she called to Chef.
“Oh HELL no!” Chef yelled back.
“Get these boys in that machine!” Blaineley called, as Chef begrudgingly opened the slot machine and started shoving.
Various groans, yells and cries could be heard from the men being forced into the slot machine. Once they were all in, Blaineley clapped her hands and turned towards the women. “Who’s first?” Courtney pushed in front of everyone else. “I am! Called it!” She crossed her fingers and pulled the slot machine’s lever. The three slots spun and stopped; TYLER-TYLER-TYLER.
“Seriously?” she complained.
“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!” Tyler screamed as he slid down and exited the slot machine, right onto Courtney. “Sorry…”
Courtney sighed and stood up. “Well, guess we have no choice but to work together..” Courtney muttered.
“Yeah! Two strong competitors fighting together as one solid team! Up top!” Tyler attempted a high-five with Courtney, but hit her in the face. “I missed….’ Courtney sighed as the two walked away.
“I’m next!” Heather called, pushing ahead.
“An excuse me would be nice.” Gwen complained.
“Wouldn’t it be great if everyone here was NICE?” Courtney yelled back at Gwen, who rolled her eyes.
Heather held her breath and pulled the slot machine’s lever; DJ-DJ-DJ.
Heather sighed. “Could be worse, I guess.”
“AHHHHH!” DJ yelled as he slid out onto the floor, he looked up at his partner. “Oh...yay….” he smiled weakly.
“That was convincing.” Heather rolled her eyes.
“We’ll be a great team…..please don’t yell at me.” DJ whispered as Heather dragged him towards Courtney and Tyler.
Eva pushed ahead. Gwen opened her mouth to say something, and Eva stared back at her intensely, she slowly backed off.
Eva threw all of her strength behind cranking the slot machine’s lever. GEOFF-GEOFF-GEOFF.
She grunted as Geoff came flying out of the slot machine. “Wow. That was trippy, man.”
Eva sighed. “You better be ready to compete.”
“For sure! We’re gonna rock this challenge! Fist bump!” Geoff held his hand out. Eva stared at it and then back up at him. “That’s cool, too. No neggy vibes.”
“Jesus.” Eva said, walking over to the others
“I wanna go! I wanna go!” Sierra clapped and ran up to the machine. “So to be clear, Cody is NOT in here…”
“Nope.” Chris said.
“This is not an elaborate surprise concerning his return to the competition….” Sierra added.
“Absolutely not.” Chris said.
“When I pull the lever, I’ll get a man currently on the show…” Sierra clarified.
“Uh huh. That’s how it works.” Chris said.
Sierra pulled the lever. ALEJANDRO-ALEJANDRO-ALEJANDRO.
“Damnit!” Sierra stomped her foot. “I really thought it was a typical Chris lie.”
Alejandro flew out of the slot machine and landed in a handstand before moving to a normal stance. “Greetings, senorita.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Sierra rolled her eyes as she grabbed Alejandro’s hand and dragged him over to the others.
Alejandro (CONF): Sierra is an….interesting girl, but what confuses me is how….un-infatuated with me she seems. What’s wrong? How could one resist this? *rips shirt off* Have I lost my touch?
Gwen walked up to the lever, sighed heavily and pulled it down. TRENT-TRENT-TRENT.
“Of course.” Gwen rolled her eyes.
Trent flew out of the machine. “Oh….hey…” he said awkwardly.
“Hey…” Gwen smiled. “You know, it could’ve be worse for both of us.” The two turned to the rest of the unhappy couples
“Yeah.” Trent nodded. “And it’s just a dumb challenge right?”
“Right.” Gwen smiled. “Just a challenge.”
Trent (CONF): YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
“Uh, isn’t there still someone left in there?” Chris questioned. “Typical first-hosting mistake.” Chris smirked.
“Guess the extra groom will just have to compete with me!” Blaineley smiled.
“Um, that’s a conflict of interest! What about fairness?” Chris complained.
“Since when have you cared about fairness?” Heather rolled her eyes.
“Why are you on her side?” Chris complained.
“She’s not you.” Courtney offered. The rest of the contestants murmured in agreement.
“I’ve always wanted to be a bride!” Blaineley smiled as she pulled the lever. NOAH-NOAH-NOAH.
“AHHHHH!” he flew out of the machine straight onto the ground. “What took so long? I could have died in there! I mean--” he looked around. “Wait, who am I with?”
“Me!” Blaineley hugged him.
“Oh….you…..” Noah said, half-smiling.
Noah (CONF): I’m still not sure I know her name.
“Alright, time for your first challenge!” Blaineley clapped.
“That’s MY job!” Chris yelled. “And since you’re competing, I’m explaining!”
“OK, boomer.” Blaineley laughed. Several of the contestants chuckled. Noah stared, unimpressed.
The contestants all stood in front of a large obstacle course with wedding items scattered throughout. “Welcome to Marriage Boot Camp!” Chris announced dramatically.
“This is my worst nightmare.” Eva grumbled.
“For your first challenge, you beautiful brides will guide your husbands, who WILL be blindfolded, through our beautiful--” Blaineley began.
“DANGEROUS obstacle course. You’ll have to get both your own and your lovely wives wedding attire, while making it through our obstacle course which has a few….surprises!” Chris chuckled, as crocodiles leaped from the water and pillars of fire emerged.
“It can never be simple, can it?” DJ muttered.
“The first team to get their attire wins….” The contestants smiled. “An advantage in part two!” Groans could be heard throughout.
“Don’t complain, it only makes me want to make it harder!” Chris smiled. “Ready….set….”
“GO!” Blaineley finished. Chris glared. “What?”
“DJ, DUCK!!! DUCK!!!!” Heather screamed, as he avoided a wooden bar everyone else crashed into.
“Can we be less aggressive…” he muttered.
“It’s called a COMPETITION!” Heather yelled.
DJ (CONF): I never really had a personal problem with Heather….she’s just scary! She’ll do literally anything to win. And now…..I’m her partner. *weak cheer* Yay…
DJ grabbed his tuxedo and was met by a balance beam over water. “SLOW DOWN!” Heather screamed.
DJ stopped and winced. “I hate this…”
“Trent, DUCK!” Gwen yelled, as he ducked under the bar. “Great, now walk dainty and carefully, you’re on a balance beam!”
“What’s under me?!” Trent called.
“Nothing!” Gwen smiled as Trent grabbed a top hat. “Great!”
“What was really under me?” Trent asked.
“Crocodiles. It’s no big deal.” Gwen smiled as Trent grimaced then chuckled.
Gwen (Cockpit CONF): I thought this challenge would be miserable, but me and Trent can still work pretty well together. It stressed me out at first, but now I’m so glad I got paired with him and not some weirdo.
“Are you in LOVE?” Chef mocked as he made kissy noises.
“Didn’t you just get demoted?” Gwen brought up.
“Don’t joke about that….” Chef wiped away a tear.
“Alejandro, GET OVER the balance beam!” Sierra screamed.
“No problem.” Alejandro smirked as he cartwheeled across, grabbing the tuxedo and top hat.
“Maybe with less theatrics next time?” Sierra rolled her eyes.
“It’s a grand gesture, for a grand partner!” Alejandro grinned.
“Yeah, yeah, charm on your own time. Reach down for the bouquet!” Sierra guided.
“Okay….OW!” Alejandro yelped as he put his arm down into a field of thorny flowers. “Cono!”
Sierra (CONF): Alejandro soooooo thinks he can control me with his eyebrows and body and accent, but I have dedicated myself to one man only! He could never match up to my love’s noodly pasty arms….
“Forward! Grab the rope!” Sierra screamed at Alejandro as he approached a rope swing over mud.
“What rop--AHHHHHH!” Alejandro screamed as he plummeted into the mud. “Where was my warning?”
“I told you to grab the rope. Stay on the ball!” Sierra rolled her eyes as she guided.
Alejandro grumbled as he climbed up the ladder and grabbed the dress.
Alejandro (CONF): I knew Sierra wasn’t a fan of me like the other ladies, but this outright disregard! If I were her I’d be wary….it’s obvious that only a few people will hold power in the merge, and I believe I’m one of them.
“Alejandro and Sierra have a huge lead on everyone else! Pick up the pace, other married couples!” Chris yelled.
“What will happen n-NOAH!!” Blaineley screamed.
“A PROFESSIONAL could participate and host at the same time….” Chris muttered.
DJ ran with his top hat. “Reach your hand down, there are a bunch of flowers, it might hurt!” Heather yelled.
DJ trembled. “Okaaaay-OW, is that a hydrangea, OW these are some messy roses, OW, aww dandelions ain’t flowers!” DJ grabbed the bouquet and continued.
Heather (CONF): Even when he’s doing well he’s being lame….
“CROSS THE BALANCE BEAM GEOFF!” Eva screamed.
“I’m trying, dudette….” Geoff said as wobbled back and forth. ‘I was never a balance, yoga, zen kinda guy at the gym?”
“WHAT’S THE POINT OF A WORKOUT IF IT’S NOT FULL BODY?” Eva yelled.
“To feel good?” Geoff suggested, before falling to the ground with the top hat. “Made it!”
“Keep going! Hustle never stops!” Eva yelled.
“Yes maam!” Geoff continued.
Alejandro finished climbing a ladder. “How do I say this…….youahave to slide down thes slide, over the sharks, and when you’re in the air grab the ring, it’s hanging by a string.”
“How do I know when to grab?” Alejandro yelled.
“I don’t know, latin intuition?” Sierra looked uninterested.
Alejandro sighed, as he slid down the slide, flipped over the sharks, grabbed the ring and landed perfectly. “Perfecto.” He stepped forward directly into a giant wedding cake.
“And that’s a win for Alejandro and Sierra!” Chris announced. “They get the advantage in part two.”
“Could no one have told me? I can’t have this much sugar!” Alejandro complained.
“It’s your victory treat, hubby!” Sierra smiled.
Everyone walked up a giant peak in wedding attire. “Did we have to hike up?” Gwen complained.
“Felt more authentic!” Chris called from a helicopter.
“You look pretty, Courtney.” Tyler said. “I mean, in comparison to normal.” he quickly qualified.
“Thanks, I think.” Courtney said, awkwardly. “I’ll be right back.” she said, awkwardly speedwalking ahead to Alejandro
“Hey.” Courtney said.
“Hola, mi amor…” Alejandro said seductively.
“Yeah, yeah. How are you? I think I wish you were my partner..” Courtney longed.
“Yes, I too wish I had anyone else as a partner.” Alejandro commented. “Sierra is impossible.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.” Courtney groaned. “That’s a failed alliance.”
“Well, if you have no ties…” Alejandro smiled. “She may have to be the next to go.”
“For me?” Courtney blushed. “You shouldn’t have.”
“For me as well. We have to work as a pair.” Alejandro said gently.
Courtney blushed. “For sure.”
Heather stared intensely, a few feet behind. “What are you looking at?” DJ asked.
“Nothing!” Heather said quickly, jumping back. “Now, we need to focus--”
“Weren’t you the one looking at the others--” DJ began. “Unimportant!” Heather yelled. “I need you to be strong and TOUGH. We could’ve won that first part!”
“I know...I just get scared when people yell…” DJ muttered.
“You better get used to it! How do you think you’re gonna get by in the real world without being assertive?” Heather asked.
“With kindness?” DJ suggested, smiling.
Heather laughed hysterically. “You’re joking, right?”
Eva and Geoff walked. “And then, I totally almost wiped out on the balance beam!” Geoff chuckled.
“I know. I was there. And it was UNACCEPTABLE!” Eva declared.
“Woah...it’s not a big deal. It’s just a challenge.” Geoff smiled.
“JUST a challenge? Only the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE GAME?!” Eva yelled, grabbing Geoff by the collar.
“I wanna win! I’m just having fun with it, y’know? Think about what you want for your wedding!” Geoff smiled.
Eva stared at him. “Ha ha, very funny, whatever.”
“I’m serious!” Geoff insisted. “You gotta connect, ya know? Feel the vibes!”
“I’ve never thought about getting married. Why would I? I’m married to my sport.” Eva scoffed as she walked forward gruffly.
“What do you think they’re talking about?” Trent asked Gwen, looking at Eva and Geoff.
“I literally have NO idea.” Gwen said before laughing.She looked at Heather and DJ. “And that one...geez, poor guy.”
“I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.” Trent chuckled.
“Um, I think someone here has kissed her and it’s NOT me…” Gwen said.
“Oh, ONE TIME!” Trent laughed.
“That one time meant something to me!” Gwen pointed out.
Trent dropped to his knees. “Sorry, I’m sorry for that, and for going crazy!” Trent begged dramatically..
“And I’m sorry for telling your team to vote you off….and kissing Duncan.” Gwen admitted.
“It’s like nothing ever happened- clean slate!” Trent smiled.
Gwen (CONF): I didn’t know what to expect being paired up with Trent, but it’s really nice. Just getting to talk and feel like myself again and have things not be so weird...I guess I forgot how happy I was when we were together.
“Alright, losers, welcome to the falls!” Chris announced to the couples as the falls crashed beneath them, with a tightrope separating them from the other side.
“That doesn’t seem very safe…” DJ pointed out.
“Dude, what show do you think you’re on?” Chris laughed. “And yes, for the challenge you WILL have to cross the tightrope to the other side of the falls. Once there, just pass through immigration with Che--” Chris began.
“Our intern!” Blaineley called.
“I’ll whoop yo--” Chef began.
“ANYWAY, be the first couple to pass through wins invincibility for both of them, and a nice private stay in first class!” Chris announced. “Losers get nothing but a meeting with me at elimination, where one of you will take the drop of shame permanently!”
The contestants shifted around and looked at each other. “Alejandro and Sierra, as the winners of part 1, you get to go first! Everyone else, fight for it! Or something. I really don’t care that much.” Chris laughed.
Sierra jumped into Alejandro’s arms. “I’m trusting you here.” she reminded.
“What reason would you have not to…” Alejandro smirked.
Chris blew the horn. “Go!”
Alejandro threw Sierra over his shoulder and began balancing. “Easy, Romeo!” she cried.
The remaining contestants rushed to get to the front of the line. “COMING THROUHGH!” Eva yelled, carrying Geoff. She trucked Tyler, who landed on the ground.
“Uhh, I think we have to change roles now, dudette!” Geoff hopped out of her arms.
“I guess….DON’T even think about dropping me.” Eva warned.
“No chance. These are arms of steel! Look at my definition!” Geoff began popping his pecs. Eva chuckled, then quickly rolled her eyes and jumped into his arms.
“Do y’all wanna go first?” DJ said while carrying Heather to Gwen and Trent, who obliged. “Are you serious?” Heather said, as DJ looked down sheepish.
“It’s an act of kindness, Heather. I know that’s a foriegn concept for you.” Gwern called from the tightrope.
“Ooh, burn!” Trent chuckled.
“Faster! Faster! Fasteeeeeeeeeeeer!” Blaineley yelled to Noah as he finally got onto the tightrope.
“You know, Chris was kind of right, this does seem like a conflict of interest, especially if you’re the co-host now?” Noah offered.
“Hey. This is the best blessing you could’ve gotten. I can craft your storyline however you want it. You’re a former pre-merger who made it far- audience will probably be on your side already. Just say the world, and I’ll make it happen.” Blaineley whispered into Noah’s ear on the tightrope. Noah slowed down and began to wobble.
“Maybe not the place to be making dramatic gestures…” Noah said as the two fell off the tightrope down into the rushing waterfall. Noah eventually landed in a small plastic circle. “A kiddie pool? That doesn’t even make sense!” he complained, before Blaineley landed on top of him.
“Well, we’re not last anymore.” Courtney muttered.
“Making our way to the top!” Tyler fistpumped and began to wobble before the two fell.
The two landed in the same kiddie pool. ‘Should’ve seen that coming.” Courtney muttered.
“Hurry UP!” Sierra cheered. “We’re almost there!”
Alejandro sighed. “Don’t doubt my physical skill.” He then paused.
Alejandro (CONF): I began to think…..going into the merge, I feel solid about my alliances, and the last thing I want to do is put a target on my back. Additionally, my trust in Sierra is very limited…..anyone not attracted to me is clearly not stable. So what do I benefit from winning the challenge?
“Eeeeeee! I could join the likes of Leshawna and Harold by winning the first individual invincibility challenge!: Sierra cherered.
Alejandro stumbled. “Oh cono, cono, cono, cono…”
Heather gasped. “He’s human?!?!”
“Nooooo!” he said as him and Sierra fell off the line, steps away from Chef.
Sierra (CONF): What happened to perfect Captain Spain the one time I needed him?
“Yes! Individual immunity, here I come.” Eva smirked as Geoff carried her inches away from Chef.
“We got this, dudette!” Geoff cheered as they reached Chef.
“Welcome to immigration. Just gotta make sure this marriage is legit with a few questions. What color are your partner’s eyes?” Chef asked in an airport worker’s uniform.
“What?” Eva complained. “How the hell should I know?”
“Greenish-brown, but like scary green?” Geoff said.
“That’s right! What about you, miss thing? Do you not know your own almost lawfully wedded husband?” Chef questioned.
“Don’t EVER call me that first off--” Eva began angrily.
“Are you being rude to a worker of the Canadian government?” Chef asked.
“No, of course not, I’m just frustrated beca--” Eva tried to rationalize without blowing up.
“I don’t like your tone.” Chef commented.
Eva growled. “I’M TRYING TO SAY—“
Chef blew a whistle. “That’s it! Y’all asses are being deported. Turn around and come back when you have a loving marriage.”
“How do we go BACK if there are people coming THIS WAY on the rope!” Eva yelled.
Geoff began to shake. “I know it’s frustrating…..but just keep it in because…”
“I’m sick of keeping it in! I’m mad!” Eva yelled as the two approached Trent and Gwen.
“Maybe we can figure out a way to cross easily…” Trent began.
“I don’t want an easy cross for you. I want to CRUSH!” Eva screamed.
Geoff shook uncontrollably then fell. “Oh NO…..” he screamed as the two plummeted.
They landed in the kiddy pool. “At least we did it together!” Geoff smiled as he splashed Eva lightly.
“Never do that again.” Eva said.
“Well, that was lucky.” Gwen said.
“Maybe someone out there’s looking out for us.” Trent said, faux-dramatically.
“It’s not Chris.” Gwen responded. The two laughed as they reached the immigration booth.
“Welcome and all that. Y’all are gonna have to answer questions about each other to prove that it’s not a green card marriage.” Chef recited off the card.
“We’re both born in Canada.” Trent muttered.
“Don’t sass.” Chef warned. “What color are Gwen’s eyes?”
“The best shade of black.” Trent answered.
“That’s right. How tall is Trent?” Chef asked.
“5’11, but he will lie and say 6 feet.” Gwen smirked.
Questions and answers went by rapid-fire. “One brother.”
“Depression blue and raven black.”
Chef looked at his questions. “Uhhhh...that’s it. Congrats on your entry into Canada as a lawfully wedded couple. You may now kiss the bride.”
Gwen and Trent stared at each other awkwardly. “Why not?” Gwen shrugged and gave a peck to Trent, who grinned.
“Gwen and Trent win!” Blaineley called, muffled, crushed under the weight of others in a lifeboat.
“Hey, that’s my job!” Chris jumped up and down and pouted. “Anyway, Gwen and Trent win!”
Trent chuckled. “Thanks for that.”
“You guys are safe and living the high life in first class tonight. As for everybody else, one couple’s getting an emotional divorce tonight!” Chris chuckled.
Alejandro rubbed his neck sitting in economy class. “I’m slightly embarrassed by my failure in the challenge…” he admitted to Eva, DJ, Tyler, and Geoff.
“Tell me about it.” Eva grumbled.
“Nevertheless, we must persist.” Alejandro said. “So, tonight’s vote--”
“Easy. Vote out Heather. Everyone’s happy, no complaints.” Eva spelled out.
“Well, I think there may be plans that are….perhaps more beneficial…” Alejandro began.
“Why? Heather is the biggest threat and one we’ve wanted out forever. It’s what makes sense.” Eva said gruffly.
“Works for me!” Tyler shot a thumbs up.
“Then it is fine with me.” Alejandro smiled.
Alejandro (CONF): No it’s not. Heather is a pain, but it doesn’t make sense to eliminate her yet, she can still do things that benefit me.
Alejandro approached Heatherin the cargo hold. “Hola, chica.”
“What do you want? I thought you were with your purple-haired bride?” Heather smirked.
“Believe me, if I was able to choose who I would marry, she is not the direction I wou;d’ve veered down….”’ Alejandro stared into the distance. “Anyway, I’d imagine you have a plan for the first vote of a new phase.”
“I know you have your alliance with her or whatever, but I really feel like Eva’s coming after me…..she’s such a big threat, too.” Heather pouted. “The only allies I have are Sierra and Noah….I feel totally pathetic. This is when I’m supposed to run the game.”
Heather (CONF): I don’t actually think Eva’s coming after me. I just need a reason to eliminate she-beast and have Alejandro pick me over her...not like that, it’s strictly strategic.
“I’m unsure if I can turn my back on her like this….” Alejandro considered.
“Isn’t that what we villains do?” Heather smiled.
“I should’ve expected this deviousness…..let it be done.” Alejandro said, before walking away.
“Why does he talk like that?” Heather muttered.
The scene cut to Sierra in first class talking to Gwen and Trent. “So, game-wise, where are your heads at?” Sierra questioned.
“I don’t know. I’m safe, so I kinda don’t care.” Gwen shrugged. “You guys tried to vote me out like, multiple times.”
“But you’re still here, aren’t you?” Sierra smiled.
“Yeah. Thanks.” Gwen smiled weakly.
“We’re just trying to get rid of Eva, for the bad vibes, you know?” Sierra offered.
“Yeah, I totally understand, man.” Trent nodded. Gwen chuckled and smiled.
“Awesome!” Sierra gavea thumbs up and walked away.
Alejandro approached Courtney and softly grabbed her hand. “Do you know what’s going on? Is everyone voting me off? No one ever talks to me!” Courtney complained.
Alejandro smiled. “I can’t imagine why.” he said, before staring directly into the camera.
“That’s sweet. “ Courtney chuckled. “So, it’s not me?”
“Not under my watch. The most likely vote seems to be Heather, or Eva. Neither of which seems beneficial for us.” Alejandro sighed.
“Heather is annoying as sin, but she’s a big target over one of us.” Courtney stopped and thought. “I mean, I did talk to you about wanting Sierra gone….” she batted her eyes.
“That’s….not a bad idea at all. She’s smarter than she lets on, and also sort of a pain.” Alejandro rationalized. “And you’re the only person here I would ever want as a bride.” he added, as Courtney blushed.
The 11 remaining contestants sat at the elimination ceremony. “Welcome to Blaineley’s first elimination ceremony!” Blaineley announced as she launched a confetti cannon. Tyler clapped as the rest of the contestants sat unphased. “And instead of a barf bag filled with airline peanuts, everyone will get a copy of my signed 2006 debut album: “Stars Are Deaf!”
There was an obvious jump cut. “Wow, I love Blaineley’s album so much.” Trent said unenthusiastically.
“It’s my favorite music!” DJ gave a half-hearted thumbs up.
“Alright, now it’s--” Blianeley began.
“TIME TO VOTE!” Chris interjected quickly, desperate to get a word in.
Heather (CONF): *stamps Eva’s passport* Bye!
Geoff (CONF): *stamps Heather’s passport* Sorry, dudette.
Courtney (CONF) *stamps Sierra’s passport* Mess with the bull, get the horns.
Alejandro (CONF): *shifts gaze before stamping a passport*
“Votes are in! And special edition Blaineley CDs go to….the happy couple!” Blaineley threw a CD to Gwen and Trent.
“We’re not a couple!” Gwen interjected.
“DJ, Geoff, Tyler, Noah, Alejandro…..” Blaineley rattled off, while throwing CDs.
“Yes!” Tyler cheered before a CD hit him in the face. “Aww….”
“Courtney aaaaand Heather! Surprisingly.” Blaineley said, before throwing CDs. “Which leaves us with the bottom two. Who will go home tonight? The purple haired newbie or the temper tantrum throwing freak who we are all surprised made it this far. Well, viewers at home, I’m about to tell you…”
“Everyone knows you direct the monologue to the contestants….” Chris muttered.
“The final CD goes to……….
Eva!” Blaineley announced before throwing the CD.
“It better.” Eva grumbled.
“WHAT?!” Sierra stood up in shock. “OMG….”
“Maybe being nicer to your husband would’ve helped….” Alejandro muttered.
“And you all think he’s the nice guy?” Sierra scoffed. “Don’t be blinded anymore!”
Heather stood up. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but...I think I’m gonna miss you.”
A tear came from Sierra’s eye. “As much as this sucks, getting Total Drama Blindsided and ending up with THE villain Heather as a friend…..I’m living the superfan dream.” She grabbed the parachute. “To all my fans on the Total Drama forum….”
“Yeah, that’s enough of that.” Chris chuckled as he shoved Sierra out of the plane.
“I’M COMING CODY!!!!” Sierra screamed.
“Well, another’s gone, and only 10 are left. Who will go home next? Find out on Total...Drama..” Blaineley began.
“WORLD TOUR!” Chris finished quickly.
Chapter Nineteen- Aqua-holics
Blaineley sat in the cockpit chair opposite Chef, smiling, while Chris sat in the middle, clearly upset. “Last time on Total Drama World Tour, our remaining 11 contestants faced a twist when they were introduced to their new hostess with the mostess! They had a fabulous time in Niagra Falls when we forced them to have some shotgun weddings with each other! Some couples got the short end of the stick, like Courtney getting stuck with clumsy Tyler when she cleeeearly wanted Alejandro, Alejandro getting stuck with the one girl not head over heels for him, and Heather trying to make cowardly lion DJ man up! However, some people ended up with fabulous pairs, like Noah getting to marry me--”
“Yeah, right.” Chris scoffed.
Blaineley shot a glare. “And lovebirds Gwen and Trent rekindling their passion and winning the challenge! In the end, Heather’s anti-Alejandro counter alliance couldn’t catch on, and superfan Sierra ended up getting the boot over Eva or Heather! Only 10 are left, what will happen next? And how will the glamorous new host change things up?” Blaineley smile as Chris rolled his eyes. “Find out on Total...Drama….World Tour!”
It was silent in economy class as everyone looked around awkwardly. “I just want everyone who voted me to know that I WON’T forget and that you WILL go down.” Eva growled.
“Oh no, she’s gonna stamp my passport….” Noah muttered to Tyler, who giggled.
Eva grabbed Noah by the collar and pushed him into the wall. “WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!”
“Be an inspiring and powerful female leader…..” Noah choked out, with a half-hearted smile. Eva dropped him and grumbled as she walked away.
Noah (CONF): I put my neck on the line for Heather and voted for Eva, and then everyone suddenly decides the girl who has a Cody-themed nightlight is the biggest threat. My closest friend left in the game is Heather. Do you know how sad that is?
“Relax, hermana. We have the numbers.” Alejandro reassured. “Thanks to the beautiful effort and loyalty of our friends here.” he gestured to Geoff, Tyler, and DJ.
- I...uh, appreciate it. I mean, I know sometimes I can be a little intense, but I always just want a strong team.” Eva admitted, sheepishly. Geoff smiled.
DJ (CONF): Was that genuine self-reflection from Eva? Maybe the competition is making her better! But Heather told me I need to be more cutthroat, and that’s the reason I didn’t win last challenge….so many scary women, not enough time…
“Um, am I not a friend?” Courtney waved.
“Oh, I forgot you voted with us. Thanks, I guess.” Eva muttered.
“You’re welcome. The only thing I request is that this week, Gwen gets the chop!” Courtney smiled.
Eva blinked. “Yeah, me and Alejandro are the ones who run things. Be quiet and listen.”
Courtney scoffed. “Well, that doesn’t seem to be very fair!”
“Life’s not fair.” Eva said plainly. Alejandro nodded, but then gave a wistful look to Courtney.
Courtney (CONF): Uh, what happened to my spanish superhero rebound picking me up from the break up? Eva talks to me anyway she likes and he just sits and watches! ...I’m sure he had a good reason….right...right?
Gwen and Trent sat in robes, eating grapes. “I gotta say, this is NICE.” she sighed, lying on Trent’s chest.
“Yeah...who knew this show could feel like an actual vacation?” Trent chuckled.
“Let’s enjoy it while it lasts, before we have to go back and sit with the commoners.” Gwen stretched as Trent smiled.
Gwen (CONF): With me and Trent...it feels like we’re right back on the island, with no problems….well, he did leave me buried alive that one time….and kissed Heather...and I made him carry that rock...I guess we weren’t happy that often…
Trent looked at Gwen. “Hey, so...I don’t wanna offend you or distract you or assume anything, and I’m totally cool with us being friends! But...are we just friends?”
Gwen hesitated and then opened her mouth. “Well…”
Blaineley’s voice suddenly came over the intercom. “Hey top 10! Meet in the common area, and bring your fiery spirit, mamma mia!” Chris faked puking to Chef in the cockpit.
The final 10 stood in the common area with Blaineley, Chris, and Chef. “If you couldn’t guess from the hilarious and topical introduction…”
“We’re using those words freely.” Noah responded.
Blaineley stopped for a glare and then continued. “Today we’ll be visiting Italy!” There were general murmurs of excitement.
“Hmm….do you think that reaction was good enough for the government of Italy, who is so graciously hosting us?” Blaineley asked.
An obvious cut to the contestants smiling was made. “I love italy!” Geoff put two thumbs up.
“I can’t believe Total Drama is letting us go there!” Courtney overacted.
“I’m so excited smile and nod!” Tyler said. Blaineley sared and sighed.
“Whatever, we’re landing soon.” she said, throwing her hands in the air and walking over to Noah.
“Remember what I said to you in the boat last time….being on my side can be very helpful in the competition…” Blainely whispered to Noah.
“Message received…” Noah said as Blaineley smirked.
Noah (CONF): I know a lot about the biz’ from my horrible time as Chris’ assistant, and Blaineley is very much one of those people…..the kind where they look pretty but when you look them in the eyes you can tell they’re really a…(moment of realization, then contemplation) wonderful lady!
The plane was shown flying to Italy and the contestants walked through the street.
“So, what’s the plan for the alliance?” Noah asked Heather as they walked.
“Well….MY plan is to win invincibility. I’m sure you can figure something out!” Heather grinned.
“Really?” Noah raised an eyebrow.
“How is an alliance of two supposed to beat an alliance of ten? I actually don’t resent you, but I have to look out for number one.” Heather walked aheda.
Noah (CONF): I can’t believe Heather turned on our alliance!...that might be the dumbest confessional anyone’s given this season.
“Hey...so, what were you gonna say earlier?” Trent asked Gwen.
“Oh. Well, I was just gonna say that--” Gwen began.
“We’ve arrived at the spot of our first challenge- an authentic italian pizzeria!” Blaineley said, adding a thick Italian accent.
“How crass.” Chris muttered to Chef. “I would never be that culturally insensitive.” Chef paused and stared.
The 10 contestants stood in the pizzeria. “Your challenge is simple, get your pizza on the grill first!” Blaineley announced.
DJ squealed. “A cooking challenge? Finally!”
“Yeah, not exactly.” Blaineley chuckled. The facade of the restaurant fell down, and massive lumps of dough with toppings haphazardly thrown in a trough in front of a massive grill.
“That is NOT a simple cooking challenge…” Trent said.
“It’s simple!” Blaineley smiled. “Just knead your dough into pizza shape, add the tomato sauce, swing OVER the grill and throw the cheese on, then swing BACK over and put on some toppings. Then just get it to the grill!” Blaineley smiled.
“How are we supposed to pick it up?” Noah complained.
“That’s what makes it a challenge.” Chris whispered, making Chef laugh. Blaineley shot a glare.
“Can I still spice it?” DJ whispered.
“You can do whatever you want, babycakes.” Blaineley smiled. Noah cringed and Heather fake vomited.
Blaineley (Cockpit CONF): This show has been so cruel for so long! A female host who brings loving energy is exactly what everyone needs! ……….(coughs)
“You’re so right, Blaineley.” Chef said, monotone. “I’m so glad for you to be onboard.”
“Any questions?” Blaineley asked. Courtney opened her mouth.
Chris blew the airhorn. “Go!” he called. Blaineley turned angrily.
“Why are you undermining my authority?” Blaineley demanded, angrily.
“I just needed to feel something…” Chris said, starkly.
Noah began weakly trying to knead the dough, but it barely moved an inch. “How are we supposed to do this?” he complained.
“Maybe you should spend more time at the gym?” Alejandro suggested as he perfectly kneaded and flattened his dough. Noah rolled his eyes.
Noah (CONF): I just want to wipe that smug look off his face, but I can’t because he’s so good at everything! Maybe soon Total Drama will start rewarding INTELLIGENCE….that might be the second dumbest thing ever said on this show.
Eva poured tomato sauce on her already kneaded pizza, then swung on the rope over the grill,grabbed the cheese, then backflipped over the grill and dropped it all on in the air. “Are you serious?” Heather gaped in awe.
“You can’t just drop it, Eva. You gotta sprinkle!” DJ shook his head then paused as Eva stared. “I’m sorry, that was out of line.”
“No one’s eating these, right?” Gwen asked.
“Not unless you want them!” Blaineley called back.
“Perfect.” Gwen smiled as she climbed on the dough and started jumping.
“That’s genius.” Trent smiled, as he stared at Gwen.
Heather then began to jump on her dough. “Congratulations on your first good idea ever, Gwen!” Gwen smiled and then gave her the finger.
DJ came back to the dough with a hairnet and gloves. “You haven’t done anything?” Blaineley asked incredulously.
“I’m practicing food safety!” DJ crossed his arms.
Eva threw a single pepperoni on her pizza, then pushed it on the grill. “Done!”
“Eva wins….an advantage in part two!” Blaineley announced as Eva glared. “But don’t stop competing, 5 other people will get the advantage too!”
“WHAT!” Eva yelled. “WHAT’S THE POINT OF FINISHING FIRST THEN?!”
“Bragging rights! And you get to admire your creation.” Blaineley smiled as the camera panned to Eva’s circle of dough with tomato sauce on it, with a mass mound of cheese and one pepperoni slice in the middle.
Eva stepped to Blaineley, and then sighed and walked away. “Whatever.”
Alejandro threw his pizza on the grill. “Finished!”
“Of course he is.” Noah said, aimlessly attempting to knead.
Blaineley walked up to Noah. “Want any help?”
“Uhh, I’ll get back to you on that.” Noah responded.
‘“I wanted my horse in the game to be more fun.” Blaineley pouted. She then walked over to Geoff. “How ya doing?”
Geoff paused as he sprinkled his cheese on top. “Uhh...alright..I’m kinda busy.”
“I guess I’m just thinking about how YOU’RE doing in this competition.” Blaineley asked. “You know, you made it far on TDI, and you seem like you have a lot of friends here, even friends who have done wrong things to you...like Alejandro.”
“Alejandro’s one of my best friends here!” Geoff protested, then paused. “Well I guess he did kiss Bridgette...but we got over it.”
“Did she though?” Blaineley smirked. “We were on the aftermath together, and she talked all about how she missed those latin lips...which the audience would know if they were airing them.” Blaineley grimaced, then smiled. “See ya!”
Geoff started to slow as he sprinkled the cheese and eventually stopped completely.
Geoff (CONF): Blaineley’s totally messing with my mind! I thought me and Bridgette had fixed all of our probs, but now she’s telling me she really likes Alejandro...and maybe I can’t trust him when I thought I could...man, I’m more mixed up than...well, ME at a party!
Courtney attempted to push her pizza on the grill. “Why is it so heavy?” she complained.
“Here you go, mi amor.” Alejandro smiled, as he pushed the pizza on the grill effortlessly. Courtney swooned.
Courtney (CONF): He DOES care!
“Who’s helping me push my pizza!” Heather complained.
“No one likes a woman who looks pathetic…” Alejandro muttered as he walked behind Heather and pushed her pizza discreetly with his foot.
“Well, you--!” Heather tried to form the words before she sighed.
Heather (CONF): He DOES care!
Tyler ran to the rope swing to grab the cheese. “Let’s do this! It’s time for the T-dog to step it up!” he declared before running and missing the rope completely, leading him to land directly on the grill. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
“He just never sees it coming..” Chris smiled.
DJ was measuring out some garnish. “Uhh, HELLO?” Eva yelled.
“I refuse to serve anything less than my best work.” DJ said, indignant. He then pushed his pizza onto the grill.
“That’s number 5! Who will be 6?” Blaineley asked, overdramatically.
“It’s….so...freaking….heavy…” Gwen grunted.
“Don’t say I never did anything for you.” Trent smirked as he used his leg to push Gwen’s pizza indiscreetly. It moved onto the grill.
Gwen turned and smiled lovingly, despite the fact that she had just fallen to the floor face first.
“And we have our 6 winners for this challenge!” Blaineley announced. “Congratulations, you get an advantage in part 2! As for the losers…” she turned to Trent, Geoff, Tyler, and Noah.
“We’ve got a WICKED punishment planned.” Chris pushed Noah out of the way to take center stage next to Blaineley. “One that will make the second part of this challenge a REAL bumpy ride.” Chris laughed, then paused. “That was a GREAT pun on the challenge, you just don’t know it ye--”
“Insecure much?” Blaineley mugged to the camera and got a few pity laughs from the crowd. “She smirked.
Gwen (CONF): It’s like watching two girls fight over the same boy, but we’re ALL the boy….and we don’t care at all!
The hosts and contestants started leaving the restaurant. “This still needs 10 minutes before I can take it off…” DJ protested, as everyone else walked out. He sighed and jogged weakly behind.
Noah walked and Blaineley popped up beside him. “Heyyyy, protege!” she said, in a clear attempt to sound fancy.
“Heyy….you…” Noah smiled weakly.
“Remember to say the word whenever you want help….and if you want to scratch my back...you should sow some doubt into Geoff’s mind for me….” Blaineley smiled evilly, as Noah stared back completely stone faced.
“What makes you think I have the pull to do that?” Noah replied.
“I don’t know! Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?” Blaineley scoffed before “discretely” walking back up to speed with the other contestants.
Alejandro approached Geoff. “Sorry to see your loss in the first part, compadre.” he said empathetically.
“Are you, bro? Are you sorry?!” Geoff’s eyes bugged out of his head as he stared at Alejandro.
“Uhhh…” Alejandro was stunned silent.
Geoff sighed and stood down. “Sorry, bro. I’m just looking everything that’s happened so far in the game, and Bridgette...I don’t like thinking about that stuff….stresses me out.”
“Don’t worry your pretty little head.” Alejandro smiled and then paused. “That came out strangely…”
Alejandro (CONF): First Courtney doubts me, now Geoff is suddenly….thinking? Thoughts? I know people are drawn to trusting me due to my unstoppable charm, but it does become exhausting having to fix everyone’s problems.
“Are you sure you’re okay with giving me the advantage from the first part?” Gwen asked. “I don’t want this to be another “brand yourself with a G” scenario.”
“Of course.” Trent said. “I wasn’t gonna win anyway. I don’t really know how to cook. I always figured when I blew up I’d be touring so I’d never have to worry about it.” he shrugged.
“Lofty dreams.” Gwen chuckled.
“Sorry we can’t all be artists.’ Trent smirked as Gwen smiled back.
Trent (CONF): Things with Gwen are really good! Like, better than they have been in a long time. I feel like we’re completely back to our old groove now, which makes me confident about taking the big step!
“So, about our status….” Trent began. However, the contestants arrived at theri location, a vast expansive canal.
Trent (CONF): Should’ve seen that one coming.
“Time for part two of our challenge through Italy, aka The Great Italian Boat Race!” Blaineley once again put on the cringeworthy accent, before pausing and slipping back into her regular voice. “Wait, there’s only 9 of you…”
DJ rushed into the scene pulling a cart with massive slices of pizza stacked onto each other. “I couldn’t leave the pizza behind….” he huffed. “Especially without cleaning up my station. It’s just not chef-like behavior.”
“Can I get a slice?” Geoff whispered.
“Of course, man.” DJ replied. Geoff fist pumped and smiled as he grabbed one and started eating.
“Um, hello! Challenge explanation happening here!” Blaineley whined. “Anyway, the goal is pretty simple. You’ll each get one gondola and one paddle. The first person to get their boat a hop, skip, and 10 miles to the finish line away…” Various groans could be heard from the contestants. “...wins invincibility!”
Heather took a bite into a slice of pizza, then questioned. “What’s our advantage for winning part 1?”
“Why-- whatever, it’s less of an advantage for you guys, and more of a DISADVANTAGE for the losers. Those who didn’t get their pizza on the oven will--” Blaineley explained, clearly irritated.
“Awww! Looks like somebody else wants some!” Courtney gushed between bites pointing to a crab that had crawled up from the canal and grabbed a slice of pizza.
“Have as much as you want, little guy.” DJ lovingly tapped on its shell. “I think I’ll call you Clarence.”
Blaineley stomped up to the crab, picked it up and threw it into the water. “FOCUS.” she yelled.
“WHYYYYYYYY!!!” DJ scremaed
“That was unnecessary.” Trent said with his mouth full.
“STOP. EATING. THE PIZZA.” Blaineley stomped her foot.
“It’s good pizza, Blaineley.” Tyler said, empathetically.
DJ (CONF): Why does everything I love have to dieeee?
“I had just named him…” DJ winced. “Clarence…”
“Get over it. Anyway, those who didn’t get their pizza on the grill will have to take their gondola ride with a partner!” Blaineley announced.
“That’s it? That’s the punishment?!” Heather complained.
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound so bad.” Trent shrugged.
“Just wait….” Blaineley smiled. The camera then cut to Geoff and Trent strapped together in one lifevest in a gondola, with Noah and Tyler strapped together in the other.
“Great.” Noah sighed.
“I don’t know why you’re complaining, man. Two bodies are better than one!” Tyler flexed. “Plus, with two paddles, we’ll be unstoppable!”
“Oh, you guys don’t actually get any paddles.” Blaineley reminded, as everyone else got in their boats with paddles.
“How is this fair?” Trent said, clearly uncomfortable.
“I don’t know. Life’s not fair!” Blaineley threw her hands in the air and then blew the airhorn.
The boats raced out of the gate, as much as possible with a paddle. Noah and Tyler, along with Geoff and Trent weakly swatted the water with their arms.
“Can you move out of the way?” Heather angrily requested as she paddled behind Eva.
Eva took her paddle out of the water and slapped the tip of her boat. “AHHHHH!” Heather screamed as she began to spin out.
Eva (CONF): In my defense, that’s a LOT gentler than I normally would’ve handled the situation.
“Eva is in the lead!” Blaineley announced.
“Thanks for stating the obvious.” Chris muttered. Chef chuckled.
“Hey, color commentary. Why don’t you do something useful and go...anywhere else?” Blaineley offered. “How about you take the afternoon off?”
Chris was clearly ready to fight, but paused and smirked. “Okay. Yeah, I think I will. I deserve some me time, right?” he said, while walking away.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night…” Blaineley said quietly as Chris walked away.
Courtney panted as she paddled. “God, she’s so fast.” she complained, clearly in second to Eva.
“Don’t worry, chica. Help can come--” Alejandro paused to push Courtney forward with his paddle underwater, attempting to be discrete. “In the most unexpected places.
Courtney blushed as her boat was propelled forward. “Thank youuuuu!” she called.
“You’re destroying the subtlety….” Alejandro smiled nervously.
Alejandro (CONF): As much as I’d like to win this challenge for myself, the target on my back does not need to grow in size. And the more I help Courtney, the longer it will take for her to realize that I’m capitalizing on her volatile emotions after a breakup……..juggling two women at once...sometimes I amaze myself!
Courtney sailed past Eva. “Yes!” she cheered.
Eva sighed. “Why are they making me do this?” she questioned, before paddling so fast it made a propeller motion and she sailed past Courtney.
Courtney sighed before she was hit by the wave Eva left in her departure. “Great.”
Courtney (CONF): I don’t think it’s fair that we’re supposed to compete with her. It’s like putting a bodybuilder in a weightlifting competition with the Hulk!
Heather was frantically paddling and panting. She barely caught up to a lazilly paddling Alejandro. “You certainly are...trying your best.” he “encouraged” her.
“Thanks for that.” Heather retorted in between strokes. “Do you not want to win the challenge?”
“Of course, but traveling the world is a one-time experience,no? I’d like to take in the sights.” Alejandro smiled.
“You’re such a world traveler.” Heather rolled her eyes.
“Diplomat’s son~” Alejandro sang.
Heather scoffed. “Whatever. If I were you, I wouldn’t feel so safe.” Heather said before attempting to paddle away. Alejandro easily paddled faster than her and left her behind. “Damnit!”
Alejandro (CONF): I believe Heather is still upset with me for voting out Sierra. I guess I can’t blame her, but she’ll always come back….she can’t resist.
Geoff paddled while strapped into the lifevest with Trent, who was sitting between his legs. They lagged far behind all the other teams, except for the equally pitiful Noah and Tyler.
Geoff attempted to paddle. “Ow...owwww….” he shifted in pain as Geoff’s elbow pushed into his back..
“Sorry, sorry...what’s even the point..not like we’re gonna win.” Geoff sighed and attempted to drop the paddle in the gondola, but ended it up landing in the water. “Dang it…”
“What’s wrong, dude?” Trent asked. “This is the most upset I’ve seen you, like, ever.”
“Me and Bridgette go through all that stuff, and I forgive her, and now Blaineley tells me she doesn’t even care about me and really likes Alejandro! That jerk, I can’t believe he seduced her with his...sexy latin accent!” Geoff fumed.
“Well….that is rough. I’m sorry, man. You know I know how it feels.” Trent said empathetically.”But in good news, things between me and Gwen are--”
“You think you know a person, and then you realize that the person you know is actually a huge ska--” Geoff was stopped by a mysterious man with a beard and sunglasses calling to them from the side of the canal.
“HEY!!! COME HERE!!!” the man yelled..
“I don’t think going to a stranger in a foriegn country is the best idea.” Trent offered.
“Whatever, man. Maybe he’ll have stuff to party with….that’s what I need right now.” Geoff pushed the boat forward using his hands.
The gondola pulled up to the mysterious man. “You’re Geoff and Trent from Total Drama, right?” the man asked.
“Yeah, man! It’s awesome to meet a fan. The Drama Brothers’ secret was really--” Trent got a pen out to sign an autograph.
“Not you, kid. The other one! The handsome one.” The mysterious man clarified.
Trent paused. “Wait, i’m not the--”
“What is it, bro?” Geoff was clearly annoyed.
“I have a video message…” the man said, before showing his phone screen to the two boys. The screen showed a clearly despondent Bridgette, with makeup running down her face in front of a mirror.
“Geoff….if you can hear me, please believe me when I say that you should NOT trust anything Blaineley says. This woman is crazy! She’s constantly harassing the guests, criticizing me on live TV, lashing out at me backstage for stupid stuff...she screamed at me for being blonde because she “invented” blonde. She is the biggest diva I’ve ever been with, and I’ve worked with….well, you during the last aftermaths! Ugh, and my return to hosting the fan favorite Aftermaths after getting kicked off was supposed to be EPIC,” An intern stepped into frame and whispered in her ear. “What do you mean, not aired--”
Geoff’s jaw dropped. “I can’t believe this...she’s EVIL!”
Geoff (CONF): The fact that Blaineley messed with me is whatever, but the fact that she messed with Bridgette and tried to make me stop TRUSTING her….god! At least Chris was unfair to everyone….
“She’s gonna PAY for this!” Geoff stomped his foot passionately, before the mysterious man stepped into interject once more.
“Now, what do you guys think of famed Total Drama host Chris McLea---” he began, as Trent rolled his eyes.
Trent pulled Geoff back into the boat. “Yeah..we gotta go.”
Tyler furiously attempted to paddle strapped to Noah, who was being jabbed by his elbow with every stroke. “I appreciate the effort and all, but I prefer to lose with dignity, and maybe even an intact back.”
“If you’re suggesting we give up, no way bro! I ALWAYS fight to the end!” Tyler grunted.
Noah blinked dismissively. “How has that worked out for you so far?
“Hey!” Tyler took offense, but quickly regrouped. “I’ll prove that we’re not failures! I’ll catch up right now!” He began paddling in overdrive, which eventually led to more flying elbows into Noah’s back.
Tyler (CONF): I know that I’m not always the best at every challenge, but that’s why I push even HARDER! Because if we have all these things I’m not good at, EVENTUALLY there has to be one that I knock out of the park! …..Right?
“Hey, what’s that?” Tyler pointed ahead at a paddle that formerly belonged to Geoff and Trent floating downstream.
Noah picked it up. “Hey, look at that. Maybe things aren’t as crappy as they seem.” he let on a slight smile. The two then attempted to paddle at once, and hit each other in the face.
Trent was desperately attempting to push the boat forward using his hands in the water, which was proving fruitless. “Hey, I know you’re uh….busy, but could you consider helping?” he offered.
Geoff was furiously flipping through a giant folder. “Sorry dude, I’m reading this binder from that mysterious dude,” Trent stared directly into the camera. “It’s full of dirt on Blaineley, this stuff is GREAT…”
“I know you want revenge, but we should probably at least attempt to win the challenge.” Trent responded. “Plus, not that things aren’t going FANTASTIC, but I would like some advice about Gwe--”
Geoff stood up, causing the boat to shift. “Holy crap!: he exclaimed. “This is gold...we GOTTA share this with the world!”
Noah and Tyler, frequently injuring each other with their awkward paddling situation but still moving forward, sailed past Geoff and Trent. “Safe travels, boys!” Noah called.
“Okay, THAT’S sad.” Trent admitted.
Gwen paddled quickly and with lots of effort. “How the hell am I supposed to catch Eva?” She squinted and looked at someone coming into view. “Who is that?”
Courtney paddled lazily. “Not like it matters…” Gwen continued to approach, until she could get a good look. She immediately stopped paddling.
“Oh…” The goth girl observed quietly, but it was loud enough for Courtney. She turned around with a look of true hatred in her eye.
“You.” Courtney spat out, in a chilling whisper.
“Listen, I can just stop paddling and lose the challenge and float away, never to be seen again…” Gwen said frantically as she put her hands in the air and dropped her paddle in her gondola.
“Oh, you’re not getting off that easy!” Courtney said, as she stopped paddling. “I have been waiting to get you alone!”
“What are you gonna do, Courtney?” Gwen threw her hands in the air.. “You’re gonna stay mad at me forever, even after I apologized. We may never be civil, but I thi--”
“What is WRONG with you?” Courtney looked truly disturbed. “You RUINED my relationship. For no reason! When we were supposed to be friends! And now you think I’m just obligated to forgive you?”
Gwen paused. “Okay, well...I’m sorry! I really am! I feel bad, I was a bad friend to you and Duncan treated both of us like a jerk and--”
“Oh now it’s Duncan’s fault!” Courtney splashed Gwen. “It can be everyone’s fault but YOURS, you psycho!”
“Real mature, Courtney.” Gwen rolled her eyes.
“You are a monster. You lack any form of human empathy. You don’t care about being my friend. You don’t care about anything!” Courtney screamed. She stood up in her gondola and hurled her paddle at Gwen’s boat, causing it to start sinking.
“Thanks for that!” Gwen called as Courtney began to slowly float away. She was hanging onto what was left of her boat, completely drenched. “Not my proudest moment.”
Gwen (CONF): Hearing everything from Courtney’s side….it makes me feel like the worst person ever all over again. I really hurt her, and even though she’s being completely psycho about it…..it’s my fault.
“Hey, Courtney!” she called, before throwing back Courtney’s paddle. Courtney caught it, spat on it, and hurled it forward with all of her might.
There was a long pause. “So you’re just gonna float there instead of moving forward to make a point?” Gwen was half sincere.
“Don’t talk to me!” Courtney replied.
DJ was singing in his boat “Under the sea….under the sea….there are no troubles, life is the bubbles, sing Billy the barnacle!” He picked up a striped barnacle and cradled affectionately, right before Courtney’s paddle came whizzing by. He ducked suddenly.
“Oh my god!”he cried, before holding Billy up. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
The same “mysterious” man from before walked by, clearly exhausted from the trek. “Really?” he said, before whipping out a fishing rod, picking Billy up and throwing it back into the canal
DJ sniffled and quietly cried. “Whyyyyyyy?” he began paddling again somberly. As his boat left, Clarence crawled out of the canal with Billy in his claw and whistled.
Courtney’s paddle, flew forward and on a slight downward angle, eventually colliding straight into Eva’s boat. “Are you freaking KIDDING ME?” she yelled as her boat began to fill with water.
Blaineley stood at the finish line. “Looks like the frontrunner is in some trouble! Will someone move right past her? EVERYONE is trying their best in this challenge!
The camera cut to Alejandro sleeping with his feet up in the boat, and Geoff and Trent leaving their boat and getting a ride from the “mysterious man”.
Eva was holding onto the remainder of the boat and kicking. “This...sucks….”
“Eva is SWIMMING her way to the end! This is unprecedented and she’s going to win. Unless something unexpected and totally great for ratings happened…” Blaineley narrated.
DJ was paddling as hard as he could and panting when some old friends ran in. DJ turned around. “The panda?” He looked and saw his friend from Japan. “Sealy? Paul the pigeon? Eddie the emu?” DJ was on the verge of happy tears when more popped up from the water. “Clarence and Billy!”
Eva approached the finish line, before she looked up and saw DJ flying ahead, carried by a flock of pigeons, anchored by paul. All of the animals charged to the finish line in the boat and DJ passed it in the air.
“What the hell?” Eva complained.
“DJ wins! DJ wins!” Blaineley clapped as she teared up.
“That doesn’t even make sense!” Heather claimed as she paddled in.
“It’s like some sort of miracle!” Blaineley smiled.
Blaineley (CONF): Or an EXTRA smart new host who flew things in knowing it would be a feel-good moment and what her rep needed….man, sometimes I think I’m too good.
Tyler frantically paddled, heavily panting up to the finish line as he saw everyone else. “Dang it…”
Geoff and Trent ran up to Blaineley, followed by a whistling Chris. “Hold up!” Geoff cried.
“How did you get out of your boat?” Blaineley asked, then stared at Chris, who was sitting in a folded chair with his feet up.
“Wouldn’t you like to know you…..weird host lady! I know she seems kinda nice and semi-hot, but you have to know the WHOLE truth!” Geoff declared, and then coughed.
“Where did that come from?” Chris asked, smiling. Blaineley glaired as Geoff began playing the accordion.
Geoff: Here’s an open letter to a treasure of a girl…
Blaineley: (smiling) That’s me!
Geoff: Whose behavior on the show always makes me hurl!
Geoff: She’s a nasty fake blonde schemer, who calls herself “your host!” Without the help of her entourage, her job would be tooooooast!
Blaineley: (grooving) Hey! (upset) Hey…
Geoff: She’ll tell you that she loves your shirt when it’s something she can’t’ stand! She’s just so full of you-know-what she has to double flush the can!
Blaineley: I eat a lot of fiber!
Geoff: She wears two pairs of the same jeans, one size 4, one size 8, so when she wears the bigger ones, you’ll ask if she’s lost weight! She’s not the gal you think she is, so let me tell you plainly, there’s thick black hair between her toes and her real name isn’t BLAINELEY! She’s a phony scheming weasel-nose and her real name isn’t Blaineley! She steals and lies cause she’s evil, bros, and her real name isn’t Blaineley……..it’s MILDRED!
Blaineley stood in shock, mortified as the remaining contestants laughed hysterically. “I mean….Mildred?” Gwen cackled.
“You could tell that she was a fraud, but it’s even better than I thought.” Heather grinned.
“I may need to take that jeans trick for myself…” Alejandro muttered to himself..
Blaineley finally let out a long primal scream. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Fine, whatever. DJ’s safe. Somebody else is going HOME tonight. Hopefully it’s you!” Blaineley pointed at Geoff and then ran off. Everyone instinctively started laughing again.
The camera flashed onto the plane, where Alejandro sat with Courtney in cargo space. “How are you doing, mi amor?” he asked
“Terrible. I went off on Gwen and I wanted it to feel empowering, but it was just sad and pathetic.” She uncomfortably shifted. “And her response….ugh! It’s like she doesn’t even care!”
“She’s tormented you for long enough.” Alejandro stood up and declared.
“Does that mean--” Courtney began smiling. Alejandro looked at her and nodded.
Alejandro (CONF): I don’t particularly care to eliminate Gwen, since it’s clear she no longer has friends or anyone to rely on in the game. But I’ve done a lot of masterminding recently, and sometimes it’s best to go with the easy votes. Especially when it pleases someone you care about. And to kill two birds with one stone…
“Sore from all that rowing?” Alejandro smiled as he approached Heather.
“Sorry not all of us are safe enough to take the challenge off.” Heather rolled her eyes.
“It’s called managing threat levels….you may want to take some notes.” Alejandro smirked.
“Thanks for the advice. Got anymore wisdom, sagejandro?” Heather scoffed.
“Come on, why so cynical?” Alejandro asked, smiling. “You know I only joke out of affection. I’m even doing you a favor tonight.”
“What?” Heather asked.
“Getting rid of your forever nemesis, Gwen. As long as you hop on the vote, you should be good to go.” Alejandro imparted. “And I wouldn’t spread this.”
“Wow...almost like you’re treating me like a real alliance member.” Heather smirked.
“There’s that doubt again!” Alejandro called as he walked away.
Heather (CONF): I don’t know what’s wrong with me! This should be the best day ever….finally getting to vote Gwen off, not having to deal with her ratty dyed hair or boyfriend drama ever again but...I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but maybe….Gwen needs to stay for me to succeed?
“We need to talk.” Heather said as she sat down next to Gwen and Trent.
“Please, make yourself at home.” Gwen rolled her eyes.
“I wouldn’t get lippy with me,” Heather warned, with a smug smile. “I’m not the one who’s life in the game is on the line…”
“Wait...are they voting for Gwen tonight?” Trent asked.
“Courtney has Alejandro on her campaign, which is not good for you.” Heather explained. “But you can stay….as long as you listen to me and follow the plan to vote for the BIGGEST threat…”
“Alejandro?” Gwen suggested.
“Oh. No, that’s not what I mean--” Heather attempted to justify.
“But didn’t you just say he was the biggest influence?” Trent immediately combatted.
“This is why I always tried to vote you guys out.” Heather grimaced.
Geoff sat with Tyler in economy class. ‘Bro, I had no idea about ANY of that stuff you said!” Tyler chuckled. “I actually thought she was kinda hot and she reminded me of Lindsay, but now that I know her name is Mildred….” Geoff smiled.
Geoff (CONF): Bridgette, that was for you baby! I’m so glad that mysterious guy showed me her trash talking you….wonder who he was…
“Al told you the plan, right?” Tyler asked.
“Yeah….but I don’t know if I’m onboard with it, dude. I mean Gwen DID vote Bridge off….but I don’t know if I can do that to Trent! He’s been my dog since the beginning, and I gave him all that relationship advice, plus we were basically sitting butt to--” Geoff began.
“Why don’t you throw your vote?” Trent asked, appearing out of absolutely nowhere. Geoff and Tyler both jumped.
“What do you mean?” Geoff was confused.
“Just vote for someone who you know isn’t gonna go home, then no one will be mad at you.” Trent suggested
“Woah….that’s super smart! This is why I let other people do the strategy for me.” Geoff smiled. Trent opened his mouth, then closed it and smiled.
Geoff (CONF): This whole vote throw thing could be a good move….but it could also piss Al off. I don’t want to ruin our relationship, he’s always been great to me! Except for kissing my girlfriend that one time...
The contestants all sat at the elimination ceremony, in front of a smiling Chris. “Welcome, final 10. Blaineley decided to take the elimination off. I’ve got noooo clue why.” Chris smirked. “But unfortunately, someone’s still going home. It’s time to vote!”
Courtney (CONF): *furiously stamping passport*
Heather (CONF): *smirks while stamping passport*
DJ (CONF): *lets a pack of animals out of his shirt before stamping passport*
“The votes are in!” Chris announced, smiling. “And I have barfbags for…..DJ!” DJ caught the bag and began feeding it to Clarence. “I still don’t like those things.”
“He’s hungry.” DJ smiled.
Chris began throwing barf bags rapidly. “Geoff, Tyler, Alejandro, Noah, Heather, Courtney…” All of the listed caught their bags triumphantly. “Which leaves the two lovebirds and Eva!”
Trent turned to Geoff. “Dude, you threw it away on me?!”
“I was just following your advice, bro!” Geoff shrugged.
“Trent, you’re safe.” Chris threw the barf bag to the long-headed boy. “It’s down to Gwen and Eva...two strong women, one symbol of safety!”
“We’re stretching the definition of strong…” Courtney grumbled.
“The final barfbag goes to…..
…...Gwen!” Chris threw the barfbag to Gwen, who let out a sigh of relief. Eva stood up angrily, as Alejandro looked around, completely dumbfounded.
“WHAT?!?! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?” Eva screamed.
“It doesn’t add up! I had the numbers together…” Alejandro was mid-breakdown, counting his fingers and looking around, until he saw a sweaty, shifting DJ.
“Sometimes all someone needs is some confidence.” Heather smiled smugly.
“Why would you say that?” DJ barely choked out.
“YOU.” Eva spat at DJ. She began walking towards him and inhaled, but then turned her attention to a remorse-looking Geoff. “....You know what? Whatever. Not like it matters.” She grabbed her parachute. “At least I don’t have to stay with these liars anymore.”
“We love you Eva!” Geoff called.
“That’s a generous statement.” Noah muttered.
“Everyone except Alejandro, Geoff and Tyler can go fu--” Eva began before Chris attempted to push her out of the plane. She didn’t budge. “You want to try that again?” she growled at him.
“After you…” Chris smiled, clearly nervous.
“LOOK OUT BELOW!” Eva bellowed as she jumped out of the plane.
Chris let out a sigh of relief and turned to the camera. “Well, that’s one big player down, with 9 smaller players left.”
“Hey!” Tyler objected.
“Who will get the chop next? And will Alejandro actually kill someone?” The camera cut to a still clearly furious spaniard. “Find out next time on Total...Drama...World Tour!”